#elio perlman angst

[louilies]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚

angst, Elio Perlman x Male Reader

The summer in Crema had been sweltering, the kind of heat that clung to your skin and made every moment feel both eternal and fleeting. You had arrived in Italy with the quiet hope of escaping yourself, of finding something new, something that didn’t remind you of home. What you hadn’t expected was Elio Perlman.

From the moment you met him, there was an undeniable pull — a gravity that seemed to anchor you to him, despite the soft warnings you whispered to yourself each night. He was radiant in a way that made your chest ache, his curiosity and brilliance as intoxicating as the sunlit afternoons you spent together.

At first, it was innocent. Reading side by side in the garden, his shoulder brushing against yours just enough to send your heart racing. The way he’d glance at you when he thought you weren’t looking, as though he, too, was holding something back. But you knew better than to believe in hope.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked one evening, as the cicadas hummed their endless song. You were lying on the grass, staring at the vast, indifferent sky, and you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

“You,” you whispered, the word escaping like a confession. You felt him stiffen beside you, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath.

“Don’t,” he said softly, almost pleadingly. But there was no anger in his voice, only fear and something that sounded like longing.

You wanted to apologize, to take it back, but the truth had already made itself known. That night, you dreamed of him, and in the morning, he was distant, as though your admission had created a chasm neither of you could cross.

Days passed, and the space between you grew wider. He avoided your gaze, and when he did speak to you, it was with a careful detachment that cut deeper than any rejection. You told yourself it was for the best, that you had been foolish to think he might feel the same.

The evening before you were set to leave, you found him by the river, sitting alone, his expression unreadable. You hesitated, but the thought of leaving without saying goodbye was more painful than the humiliation of facing him.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice trembling. “For what I said. I didn’t mean to make things… complicated.”

He looked at you then, his eyes dark and unreadable. For a long moment, he said nothing, and you thought he might simply walk away. But instead, he stood and closed the distance between you.

“I wish you hadn’t said anything,” he whispered, and the rawness in his voice broke something inside you. “Because now I can’t stop thinking about it.”

And then he kissed you, sudden and desperate, as though trying to hold onto something slipping through his fingers. You tasted salt and knew he was crying, or maybe you were — it didn’t matter. The moment was too brief, and when he pulled away, the look in his eyes was not regret, but sorrow.

“This can’t happen,” he said, his voice cracking. “It’s better this way.”

You nodded because you understood, even though it felt like dying. The next morning, you left without waking him, the ache of his absence already a familiar weight in your chest.

And though the summer faded, the memory of him never did.

[ibelieveinunicornz]

“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty,

and have less to offer each time we start with someone new.

But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste!"

[cannibalizedlove]

MY MASTERLIST FOR TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET

Head Cannons

Male! Reader, smut and fluff.

(Timothée Chalamet characters)

Something In Common

Male! Reader, fluff.

(Elio Pearlman, Call Me By Your Name)

Acceptance

Non-binary! Reader, comfort.

(Lee, Bones and All)

Just The Way You Are

Trans! Reader, smut.

(Elio Pearlman, Call Me By Your Name)

Races and Bars

Male! Reader, fluff.

(Timothée Chalamet)

Voice like whiskey

Cowboy! Reader, fluff.

(Laurie Laurence)

Hauntingly yours

Male! Reader, Ghost AU.

(Timothée Chalamet)

Wingman

Fem! Reader, platonic.

(Timothée Chalamet)

Dream Boy

Male! Reader, comfort.

(Paul Atreides, Dune)

Can I get you something

Male! Reader, fluff.

(Jimmy, Entergalactic)

divider by @/aquazero

all written by me, do not repost.

[helpmeimblorboing]

I feel like the general zeitgeist of the majority of my ships (both fanfic and original) can be explained by the fact that I read both Call Me By Your Name and the Song of Achilles as a tiny tot and both irreversibly changed my brain chemistry

Like, sorry, my babies, but my angst-loving heart says that you need to suffer for your love.

Oh, and the fact that Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens fucked me up the first time I heard it, and I don’t think I ever quite recovered

[1donteatpancakes]

Hey , working on a couple different projects for you guys !! Reminder tht requests are open !!

[rodentz-hi]

Rat & Hamster

The two horny best friends who wants to share their deprived thoughts to the world

We write fanfictions! Hamster will sometimes upload fanarts— but our main content is fanfics.

𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦 ℍ𝕠𝕣𝕟𝕪? Are you feeling down for fluff? Perhaps.. in need of angst? ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕔𝕜 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥♡ (added soon)

Tags:

For daily chat/other: #rodentztalking

For fanfiction: #rodentzwrites

For fanart: #rodentzdraws

Hamster’s personal acc: @angelovestoru

Below are our rules, fandoms and more😗

Rat

content rules

Anything except Smut & Y/n & Reader & Original character

Detective Conan & Magic Kaito - Kudo Shinichi | Conan & Kaito Kuroba

Demon Slayer - Muichiro Tokito & Giyuu Tomioka

Hazbin Hotel - Lucifer Morningstar

Genshin Impact - Ayato & Tighnari & Freminet & Venti & Scaramouche/Wanderer &

Chongyun & Furina – Might do other characters if requested!

Honkai Star Rail - Yanqing

Harry Potter - Draco Malfoy

Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun - Hanako | Yugi Amane

Project Sekai - Tsukasa Tenma & Mafuyu Asahina & Mizuki Akiyama

– Might do other characters if requested!

K Project - Yashiro Isana

Danganronpa 2 - Nagito Komaeda

MILGRAM - Es

Violet Evergarden - Violet Evergarden

Natsume Yuujinchou - Takashi Natsume

Seraph of the End - Hyakuya Mikaela

Black Butler - Ciel Phantomhive

Cardcaptor Sakura - Yue

Hamster

Angst, Fluff, Smut, Slow-burn, headcannons, character x character, character x yn, male x male, fem x fem, male x female, Leave the smut to me! I also draw fanarts><

(I write for most characters! Request is open <3)

Jujutsu Kaisen — Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Shoko Ieiri, Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Nobara Kugisaki, Toge Inumaki, Yuta Okkotsu, Ryomen Sukuna,

DCMK —

Demon Slayer —Muichiro Tokito,

Oshi No Ko — Aquamarine Hoshino, Ruby Honshino, Ai Hoshino, Akane Kurokawa,

Your Lie In April

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Project Sekai

Love and Deepspace

Harry Potter (Marauders included) — Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin,

CMBYN — Elio Perlman, Oliver

Lady Bird — Kyle Scheible

Dune — Paul Atredies,

Attack On Titan —Levi Ackerman

Rules,

Applied for both.

1. We will not write smut for minor characters, nor will we age them up. Angst, fluff is available.

2. No feet fetish, toilet kinks, adult x minor ships (for parent-child, it is available.)

3. No non-con, incest, rape, or intensely dark content.

[reddie-ao3feed]

Looking for roleplay partners!

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/WuV6tDn by MauLifeIsStrange LOOKING FOR ROLEPLAY PARTNERS!!! THIS POST IS A POST TO FIND ROLEPLAYERS! Words: 84, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Life is Strange (Video Game), Life is Strange (Comics), Life is Strange: True Colors (Video Game), Life is Strange 2 (Video Game), Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, IT (Movies - Muschietti), The Last of Us (Video Games), The Last of Us (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Nathan Prescott, Oliver (Call Me by Your Name), Elio Perlman, Cassidy (Life is Strange 2), Maxine "Max" Caulfield, Kate Marsh, Sean Diaz, Chloe Price (Life is Strange), Finn McNamara, Warren Graham, Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough, Stanley Uris, Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak, Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina (The Last of Us), Jesse (The Last of Us), Abby (The Last of Us) Relationships: Warren Graham/Nathan Prescott, Oliver/Elio Perlman, Cassidy/Sean Diaz, Sean Diaz/Finn McNamara, Rachel Amber/Chloe Price, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Abby & Lev (The Last of Us) Additional Tags: Roleplay, Inspired by Life is Strange, Inspired by Call Me By Your Name, Angst, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Fluff and Angst, Fluff, Romance, Slow Burn read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/WuV6tDn

[itshonestlynotme]

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 😙

🌟 = Fluff, 🪐 = Angst, ✨ = mild spice, 🎬 = hurt/comfort

{𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝} → 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 ! || Requests are usually open unless they get too much, then I will turn them off so that I can finish other requests! ||

HARRY POTTER - MARAUDERS :

REGULUS BLACK

SIRIUS BLACK - (N/A)

REMUS LUPIN - (N/A)

JAMES POTTER - (N/A)

HARRY POTTER - (N/A)

DRACO MALFOY - (N/A)

DUNE :

PAUL ATREIDES

FEYD RAUTHA - (N/A)

LETO ATREIDES - (N/A)

CHANI KYNES - (N/A)

DUNCAN IDAHO - (N/A)

PRINCESS IRULAN - (N/A)

OTHERS :

WILLY WONKA

LEE (BONES AND ALL) - (N/A)

NIC SHEFF - (N/A)

ELIO PERLMAN - (N/A)

KYLE SCHEIBLE - (N/A)

YULE (DON'T LOOK UP) - (N/A)

[ao3feed-cmbyn]

A Touch In Perpetuity

by TheseShipsShallSail

There’s a quiet moment of understanding. Gentle as the ocean waves lapping the cliff’s edge below. They might be a secret to the rest of the world, but the pair of them know what they mean to one another, and Oliver’s eyes burn with unsatisfied tears as he slips a still-clothed thigh between Elio’s, pinning him down as the steady push-pull of stimulation drives them ever higher.

Words: 743, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of The Cosmic Fragments

Fandoms: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Elio Perlman, Oliver (Call Me by Your Name)

Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman

Additional Tags: POV Oliver (Call Me By Your Name), Monet's Berm, Idiots in Love, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, pre-Rome, Canon Compliant, Missing Scene, Outdoor Sex, Fade to Black, Fluff and Angst, Period-Typical Homophobia, Internal Conflict, Prequel

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48367567

[ao3feed-elioxoliver]

Mystery of love

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/pehxFSL

by padme83

Summer 1983, somewhere in northern Italy

"It only took you an instant, during your first walk in the village, to realize, to have the absolute certainty that with that disheveled mass of dark curls nothing would be easy – for you, more than for him. You met his gaze for the fraction of a second, and you felt lost."

Min-long of four chapters (one for each part into which Aciman's book is divided), narrated from Oliver's point of view.

Words: 1328, Chapters: 1/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Elio Perlman, Oliver (Call Me by Your Name)

Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman

Additional Tags: Love, Falling In Love, Boys In Love, Character Study, Introspection, summer of 1983, Angst and Feels, Mild Smut, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Consensual Underage Sex, Eventual Happy Ending, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/laCziqB

[timothee-mybeloved]

Meet me in the afterglow

In which an argument with Timothée makes you realize that you can’t live without each other

Warnings: angst, fighting, reader being hated by fans, hurt/comfort, totally inspired by Afterglow by miss Taylor Swift, happy ending, I’m in love with timothee chalamet. There is a fic i read once that was the primary inspiration for this but i have no idea what it was called or who it was by… (bold italics are flashbacks)

Paring: Timothée Chalamet x reader

You had blown things out of proportion and now you had no idea where your relationship laid. Were you broken up? Did you lose the man you loved with your entire being?

Your heart couldn’t accept it. He wasn’t around for you to have a conversation with him about it.

You were a mess.

Truth be told…so was he.

He couldn’t stay but it wasn’t because he didn’t want you anymore, quite the opposite actually. He left because he loved you. It scared him too much to think about.

He couldn’t handle seeing how much it all consumed you. The paparazzi, the fans, the hate.

All of it had gotten in your head, millions of thoughts rushing around

“Am I not good enough?” “What if he leaves me for someone better?” “How do I keep going?”

He sympathized with you, felt pity for you and a little bit of him felt what you were going through but he knew he could never fully comprehend how you felt everyday simply for loving him.

“You know I wouldn’t mind it if you came with me.” He said “I love coming back from work to find you waiting for me.”

“They’ll probably think I’m too clingy.” God knows what happened the last time you had gone with him while shooting a movie. You had dealt with an excessive amount of hate.

People calling you names, saying that you couldn’t leave him alone for one second. It all hurt but you couldn’t talk about it so you wouldn’t burden him. He’s already had to deal with so much.

“Who cares what they think?” He raised his voice “Are you seriously going to let some stupid comments get in the way of our relationship?” He asked rhetorically.

He was right but you couldn’t help feeling this way and you had bottled up so much, you were starting to feel angry.

“Why can’t you just fucking look at it the same way I do?! I have had to go through so much shit so i can be with you, the least you could fucking do is actually be there for me when I need you!” You finally snapped.

“What the hell do you think I’ve been doing all this time? I’ve done everything I can to make you happy and it still doesn’t work.”

“Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.” You say it under your breath but the sigh he lets out lets you know that he heard you.

“For fuck’s sake…” it’s his turn to be angry. “What do you want me to do then? You want me to go on every form of media and tell them to stop saying shit on the internet because my girlfriend can’t stop letting stuff get into her head?”

“I never said that.”

“Well what the hell do you want me to do?!” You had never seen him this angry before and if you didn’t know him, you would think this anger was directed towards you.

“Just go, Tim. I really can’t talk about this right now.” You sigh.

“No, I’m not gonna leave without you, I’m not letting a bunch of mindless idiots on the internet ruin what we have!”

“Tim-“

“You don’t have a say in this so get up and come with me.”

“Timmy-“

“Just stop! you already have your bags packed so let’s go.”

Silence.

“Please…” He begged you.

“I’m sorry…” He was starting to get impatient.

“Fine. Have it your way.” Was the last thing he said before picking up his bag and slamming your shared apartment’s door.

And that’s when you truly lost it, finally bursting into tears after feeling all these emotions bubbling up throughout the past week.

You didn’t mean to make him sad but he also had to look at things from your perspective.

Now here you were, a few days after the argument, picking up the bags that you hadn’t unpacked ever since.

You grabbed your passport and headed out the door, making sure to lock it before making your way to the elevator.

It was going to be a long flight and you knew it but you would do anything to be with him again.

Finally arriving to your destination, a driver had been waiting for you to take you to the hotel he was staying at.

Your heart was racing and your palms were starting to sweat. You knew he wouldn’t be back until a few hours but you still couldn’t calm your nerves.

What if he didn’t want to see you? That’s ridiculous, he would be happy to fix things and start over…right? The only thing you could do was hold onto what little hope you had left and pray for the best.

—

You sat on the bed and awaited his arrival, having slightly calmed down after walking into the room and catching his scent in the air.

Minutes felt like centuries passing by and you almost got up and tried to leave like you had never been here until you heard shuffling from behind the door.

It was dark and he wouldn’t be able to notice you were there at first glance and so you waited patiently until he had turned on the lights.

He was shocked, dropping the coffee cup he was holding.

“Shit!” He flinched as the liquid spilled on the carpet and his shoes.

“Oh fuck! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you I-“ You got up quickly, making your way over to him and he just stared at you as if trying to figure out if he was too tired and imagining all of this or if you were actually in front of him right now.

He probably sensed your confusion because he cupped your cheeks, a part of him expecting you to fade away in the process.

But you didn’t, he was holding you.

You were real.

“Fuck it feels like forever ago when i last saw you.” He lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding in.

He pulls you in for a kiss and it’s the first time in what felt like an excruciatingly long week that you genuinely feel true relief.

You feel complete.

“God I missed you so much.” He sighs into your lips “I missed you too.” Your hands moved to wrap around the back of his neck.

“I’m so sorry, Tim.”

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize.” He says while caressing your cheek.

“No no i have to, I was so in my head that I didn’t even think about what this was doing to you.”

“I should’ve been there for you, I should’ve talked to you more, it’s my fault.” Timothée tells you.

“None of this is your fault, okay? Just please don’t ever leave me again. Those past few days have been hell without you.”

“I’m never going to leave you, wherever you go, I go.” He whispers, pulling you close so that your foreheads touch.

“I’ll follow you wherever you go, sweet girl.”

[louilies]

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ᰔᩚ: fluff/ᰔ: flirty not smut/ෆ: angst/ ʚɞ: au. divders by @anitalenia

Chris Sturniolo

Worthy of Love pt2 ෆ

Incapable ෆ

Bad Idea Right ? ᰔᩚ

Captured In Time ᰔᩚ

Oscar Winning Tears pt2 ෆ

The Greatest ෆ

Isn't It Strange ? ෆ

Central Cee

London Skies ᰔᩚ

Gen Z Luv ᰔᩚ

Say it, Don't Buy It ᰔᩚ

What Were We ? ෆ

Jacob Elordi

Tall Boy Problems ᰔᩚ

Cloud Nine ᰔᩚ

Matt Sturniolo

Moodboard ʚɞ

Through His Lens p2 pt3 pt4 ʚɞ

All's That Ends Well ᰔᩚ

You've Changed ෆ

Ice Cream Man ෆ

Elio Perlman

The Hot Summers In Crema ෆ

I Never Thought I'd See You Again ᰔᩚ

Elvis Presley (Jacob Elordi's Version From The Movie Priscilla)

You Look Lost ᰔᩚ

Jughead Jones

Fading Light ෆ

[chailame]

[basketofkithes]

Request here!

Hi, I’m T. I wanted to start writing fanfiction for people so here I am! I know what its like to request something and it takes forever to someone to actually write it so I’ll try my best to do every single one I get! Please dont plagiarize, critique or translate my work. There  is a sample of my writing below inspired by this photo of Timothee Chalamet.  

I’ll write for the characters of his I’m familar with including: Elio perlman, Billy mitman, Kyle Schleible, Daniel Middleton, Zeffirelli, Gatsby, Prince Hal and Paul Atreides.  Timothee Chalamet x Female Reader

Salty Kisses 

Summary: The two of you are at the beach and competitively have a water gun fight with a group of strangers on opposing sides. Though you eventually end up getting distracted by eachother.  Warnings: None

Squawking seagulls would flock over your group frequently, their elongated shadows casting across the golden sand. They were almost like vultures waiting to snatch up some 5-year old's ice cream and then fly away before the poor kid even acknowledged it was gone. Though if the seagull hadn't got to it surely the beaming sun would have.

The sun was something you were grateful for, not only because you needed it to live but also because it seemed to enhance the beauty of the things around you. It’d make bland sand turn into golden particles that’d grant you flight and a simple fruit juice look like it carried the universe within its seemingly insignificant plastic encasement. This made you wonder what you’d look like in such light.

 “You're not even gonna spare me because I’m your girlfriend?!” You sputtered, tasting nothing but salt. The two of you had been invited to a water gun fight because there was a shortage of players. The couple who approached you said the two of you seemed like “great company”, this puzzled you because the two of you were just intensely debating on whether or not there were more doors or wheels in the world. Nevertheless, you two were not going to say no to fun.

 “In war such labels are irrelevant! Surrender or further be drenched!” He spat the words with artificial aggression, the long vein in his neck protruding outwards. His tough expression was repetitively broken by even the smallest of smiles.

“Never!” As soon as the word left your mouth he was on your trail once again, you scrambled in the opposite direction towards the water. The small waves slapped at the skin on your thighs fiercely as you awaited your opponent's arrival. He stood at the shore what would be menacingly if it wasn't for the goofy grin on his face.“You're really gonna make me get my shorts wet?!” His curls squandered beautifully in the summer breeze. He squinted when the sunlight directly hit his face, giving it a celestial glow.

“Is that really the reason you're not coming in? Or are you just scared?!”

 “Is that a challenge?!”

“Maybe.” You shrugged, watching him contemplate between the two choices. He ultimately chose to enter the water, wading through it hastily. The two of you stood directly in front of each other, fingers resting on the triggers of your water guns. Though they were there, it didn't seem either of you had the intention of pushing it. He stepped closer, smiling down at you. Water droplets fell from his tresses, trailing down his face and dripping off his chin. Often they’d fall to wet your cheeks. You turned your head to look at the burning horizon of titian. There was that sun doing its work.

His hand came to rest under your chin, turning your head back to him. You noticed his gaze linger where yours had just been. “Isn't it beautiful?” His eyes flicked back to you, he nodded and leaned in. Your lips grazed one another's, you rested your hands on his clammy chest and he shut his eyes, smiling into the kiss. Your lips pulled him in. His grasp had slipped on his gun, leading to it splashing in the water below you. Droplets of saltwater slid down your legs.

 You parted. “Mon amour…” He muttered, when he leaned in for another you pushed him back. “Wha..what’re you teasing me for?” He huffed, following your gaze back to the shoreline. There idly stood one of your teammates. “It's getting dark so we’re heading to a party, it's just off a little to the side of the beach! You guys could come too if you want.`` They shrugged. “Yeah, we’re coming!” You turned away from Timothee, giving your teammate a nod. “We are?” He raised his eyebrows and peeked over your shoulder to observe your expression. “We are! I know you can dance, I’ve seen you, Timmy.” You rolled your hips and jutted your shoulders, imitating his moves.

 He laughed and slung an arm over your shoulders, you did the same. “I dont dance like that Y/N.” 

“You do too!”

“No, I dontttt…” You retrieved his water gun from the water and he pressed his face into your wet hair. “Whatever, come on, we might miss the alcoholic drinks!” You took a step forward and he lazily did the same. The two of you continued to stagger and stumble to shore, almost falling numerous times. 

[jellycolors]

𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘰 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘴𝘥

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞/𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞

𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥

[theseshipsshallsail]

Oliver got married today.

It’s been circled on Elio’s calendar for weeks - ever since the embossed envelope arrived three days into their Easter vacanze to B - and although he’d faked a smile for his parents’ sake, the flurry of concerned looks and cut-off conversations that followed did little to soothe his misgivings. Thankfully, his father declined the invitation - tactfully claiming a series of guest lectures at the Sapienza that June - and while Oliver was clearly disappointed, there was no denying the undercurrent of relief as Elio listened in on the other line.

Time and tide wait for no man, they say, and now Oliver is elsewhere. Fulfilling his family’s expectations. Building a life for himself that Elio has no part of. They’ve sent gifts, of course. And Elio included a little mot. Yet Oliver’s never been as lost to him as he is right now, and knowing he’s nought but a footnote to the man who was his everything is a sobering prospect.

He tries to blame it on la naïveté of youth. The capricious nature of a heart once wary. The sheer horniness of a teenage body given free rein to explore. Like Haydn’s Seven Last Words Of Christ, he’s transcribed their relationship to the bare bones in a bid to understand it. Analysed each turn of phrase. Untangled the mystery of love itself.

And what it boils down to is this: he misses him.

Honestly, he suspects he always will.

It was Oliver’s mind that attracted him first, and the handful of stilted letters they’ve exchanged are a poor substitute for the friendship they forged last summer. The alienation hurts. A sharp sting that refuses to fade even as time carries on exorbitantly. But he’s handling it. He is. The nights of crying himself to sleep like some damigella in pericolo are long behind him. The what-ifs and maybes beaten into submission.

With distance comes nostalgia, he’s found. Perspective. Objectivity. It’s been two months since that eavesdropped phone call - seven since the original that shattered his futile aspirations - and Elio’s done his best to move on in turn. Followed his father’s advice and embraced the pain. Thrown himself into his studies. Dedicated himself to his music. Rebuilt charred bridges with his friends. And it’s paid off. More so than he’d dared imagine. Because on the day his Odysseus stood beneath the chuppah with his chosen Calypso, six thousand kilometres away another envelope dropped onto the villa’s doormat.

His official acceptance letter to Julliard in the Fall.

Elio’s hands had been so unsteady his mother offered to open it for him, and by late-afternoon the news had spread, bringing with it a small crowd of neighbours and cousins to offer their congratulations. Mafalda prepared his favourite semifreddo, while Marzia produced a half-full bottle of grappa that almost cracked his façade. All the same, the tart berry sweetness went a decent way to counter the low-level churning of his stomach, and between one swig and the next a feast fit for a king was piled high atop the garden table.

It’ll be good for him, they said. A fresh start. New beginnings. So he’d celebrated. Allowed himself to be distracted. Devoured his weight in antipasti and tortellini, then shared a reefer with Mario as they sang along drunkenly to the hit parade medleys on Chiara’s radio. It was liberating, that soft-edged focus, and when the guttering candles finally ushered them all to bed, Elio flopped backwards onto the mattress and fell asleep within minutes.

His bone-deep exhaustion wasn’t to last, however, and the moon is still bright in the sky when he jerks awake not two hours later. Pulse racing. Breaths short. A slick layer of sweat upon his bare torso that feels nothing short of suffocating. The dream is a nebulous thing at first - like countless others that came before it - but a wrenching sob breaks free from Elio’s throat as strands of awareness drift back like faery wings on a breeze.

Oliver’s slow-born grin as he lazed on the patio by the pool.

The crinkle at the corner of his eyes when he laughed without censure.

The solid pressure of a palm in his.

The perfume of spent passion as strong arms held him close throughout the night.

Suddenly, he remembers everything, and Elio accepts the pain gladly. Curses himself for his weakness. Angry tears staining his cheeks as a familiar mantra returns with a guilty vengeance, shaking him to the core.

“I should have fought for us,” he whispers, watching the abstract shadows creep like self-doubt across the ceiling. “I should have fought for you.”

It’s an irrational chastisement. A stubborn stumbling block in the path of his recovery process. Logic dictates there’s nothing he could have done. He had his senior year of high school to think of. No means to hop on a plane and demand a proper explanation. His only option was to wish Oliver well, but why hadn’t the man who was as much Elio as Elio himself recognised the sorrow in his voice when he’d announced his engagement?

Was he really that oblivious? That cruel?

No. He couldn’t believe that. He wouldn’t. Yet the alternative cut like a knife. The thought that Oliver had been experiencing the same grief he was. That he, too, cried when he hung up the phone. Hid the cracks in his soul beneath a shiny veneer. Grieved in silence for a future erased by circumstance. Fear. A simple question of convenience.

My father would have carted me off to a correctional facility, Oliver told him last winter, and Elio wonders if he has any idea how those words haunt him. How they dog his steps as surely as the ghost spots he’s left strewn throughout the home that now feels more theirs than his. The couch in the living room where they’d waited out a storm. The books on Heraclitus left askew on his father’s shelf. The attic bedroom he still can’t bear to enter.

Because the thing is, he hasn’t just lost Oliver. He’s lost a part of himself, too.

But in the false paradise of his dreams Oliver comes to him. Calls him by his name. A confession and apology, both. And it awakens his need. Fans the flames of hope he deliberately extinguished last November. Elio feels protected in those moments. A part of something so much bigger than himself. He’d give anything for one last kiss, but even in his subconscious there’s never an opportunity. And in his dreams - just like in real life - Oliver turns his back. Walks away. Leaves him here alone.

They're forever linked, the two of them, and Elio’s yet to decide if that's a blessing or a curse as he imagines a rubber band stretched taut. Connecting them no matter what.

Everyone goes through a period of traviamento, his father once said, and if this is theirs, then so be it.

For ten short days he’d been impossibly, immeasurably, happy, and despite everything that came after, he wouldn’t change those memories for the world.