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nozomijoestar · 3 years ago

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Starting another NozoEli series as a sequel to my old Kaleidoscopic collection that could use some expanding; I will never leave these two alone no matter how many years pass- here’s Eli fully coming to grips with being gay after her first time and me & @cavehagsanonymous would like to thank t.a.t.u. for Ya Soshla S Uma personally

Russian speakers feel free to correct me because I don’t know Russian beyond a surface skimming/ I also tried using phrases with the appropriate altering meanings

TW: internalized homophobia

The room had gone quiet save for their breathing and passing cars below the open window. It was strange, this new silence, yet calming all the same. Eli had never been on a boat but had stood outside before storms. Really if she had to guess then they were the same thing, the same feeling, just at different points. They were the dotted lines printed on her Second Year homework; their paths yet to meet. She could understand that concept, that crossroad between logic and emotion telling anyone they should brace themselves or be swept along, or drenched. This time she had chosen to stand in the storm; now only this silence in its aftermath remained uncharted.

Honestly, where did she even begin? Should it be with their clothes scattered on the floor, the fact that she’d just returned from the longest pee of her life, or with how right their bodies fit under the duvet? Should it be with the way Nozomi’s breath tickled her hair, how their legs intertwined, or Eli’s impulse to rest against her chest? She had no damn idea.

All she relished in at that moment came with Nozomi stroking her forearm. A kiss was pressed against her head. Eli felt her breath hitch. An electric wave seemed to course through her in an instant. They could never pretend this hadn’t been real. No, it never should have been real in the first place. Then she let Nozomi kiss her nose, the curve above her lips, along her jaw.

Eli basked in it as her eyes fluttered closed. For a moment, she could get used to this part of worship. But a nausea speared her stomach the second Nozomi’s lips left in one lingering motion. In her fear she found Nozomi’s eyes. The certainty she read in them brought her shame.

How could this girl act as if they’d done the most natural thing between two girls? How could Eli hold such an ugly thought? She averted her gaze in silence. Her skin tingled and blushed not with the heat of earlier, but punishment for her cowardice.

“Elicchi yer not sayin’ nothin’ after all that hollering before; something botherin’ you?”

“…I didn’t holler. I…made noise.”

“Same difference ta’ me, I know wha’ I heard. Ain’t ever thought my name could get so high pitched before. ‘Ooooo No.zo. miiii.’, and the rest; it was real cute.”

“E-E-Enough! I don’t even know where you picked up half of those things you did. Wasn’t this your first time too?”

Eli’s face skipped every step of a creeping blush straight into rushing up the tips of her ears. That Kansai accent Nozomi turned on and off for her own amusement and dazzling anyone who listened ran wild when she had no one to impress. It made Eli’s insides go strange yet wonderful much like whatever else they did.

Nozomi made a sound Eli couldn’t definitively read as annoyance, worry, pride, or all three. If she had to bet then it was absolutely all three. You took that on once you knew Nozomi Tojo; no other person seemed like they’d been snatched from a combination of every reflection in funhouse mirrors. Fascinating…no other word fit her, and even that one felt limited. Thoughtful was…another good candidate.

“I tried those things because it’s my first time. It was our first time. Did I do something wrong?”

Ah, the accent had vanished. This was a serious Nozomi. If that’s how things were going then she wanted a serious Eli in response. Her body tensed. The way Nozomi looked at her so focused, so ready no matter what Eli might say; as if she held a grand answer impossible to know alone, the weight made her shiver.

“It wasn’t bad.” The words fell out before she might think.

“Then why’re you being so weird? Feels like I hurt you but I don’t know how.”

“We did it. That’s why.”

She rolled over showing her bare back as if to squash anything left unsaid. She needed to simmer, that’s what it was; let the euphoria from earlier flush out completely until her rationale returned. She needed to eat her heart or it might become something else. It might even be something she’d love- it dangled her over a cliff in the thrill freefalling brought, but also the knowledge it meant an end. If she wasn’t Eli Ayase, grounded, tepid, cautious, then who was she?

Would those pieces of her disappear?

There came a firm touch on her shoulder as if she were a cat held by the scruff.

“Elicchi…Eli, did we have sex just so you could make me happy?”

Her voice cracked and tapered off; Eli winced. Her chest tightened. By the time she remembered how to breathe her vision clouded. To turn around now was to face a wolf.

‘I’ve lost my mind already.’

She spoke, her voice heavier than it had any right to be. There wasn’t another way for it to be.

“I want you, every part of you, but it doesn’t matter. You got what you wanted. You’ll be on to the next girl before I can get dressed again. That’s what my family says about lesbians.”

Nozomi’s weight pressed against her; her arms wrapping them both in a hug that wouldn’t let Eli escape. She yelped in surprise. Their skin touching, their warmth bound together finally let her tears fall.

“Elicchi be quiet and listen. What do you hear right now?”

Eli shut her eyes.

“My heartbeat.”

“What’s pounding against it?”

“…Yours.” Her entire body went red.

“Listen to how they sound.”

“Ok.”

The room went still again, only now she didn’t pick up a single car or passerby or anything else. A thumping sensation raced against her, almost lost beneath her own. She swallowed hard.

“You’re nervous too.”

“So if you can tell, are you done acting stupid?”

“Wha- I’m not! I-I’m…”

She turned around chasing the pain in Nozomi’s voice, desperate to stop it. They came face to face after what had been too much time apart. Then Eli ached. In her sixteen years alive, she could count on her fingers those moments the world sank. Suddenly the room light shined too bright, the window curtains could have been those of the ballet stage. One blink and she wore the despair of a little girl crashing against failure. She was still so small.

The tears wouldn’t stop spilling down Nozomi’s cheeks; she didn’t bother wiping them when they dripped down her chest. When she saw her tremble Eli clung to her. She gripped her shoulders, could feel her knuckles turn white.

“Nozomi I-I’m sorry. I’m scared. You’re amazing and I’m scared of what it means.”

Nozomi’s touch stroking her hair was enough to make her pride break, for her heart to follow. By god she could melt, and they did against one another.

“I know. It’s ok to be scared. But don’t take it out on me Elicchi.”

Their heartbeats hammered in her ears, easing from a race into a lulling rhythm. She rested her head on the dip between Nozomi’s neck and shoulder. Her entire weight leaned against her as she slid her hands down her sides. Nozomi’s skin was so smooth, her voice so soft yet decisive, her breaths tickled Eli’s ear as she let her be. They stopped time like this; molded into the moment and the unspoken. The image of Nozomi’s tears returned. She set her thoughts aside and became free.

“Я хочу быть с тобой.”

“Huh?”

“I thought I could love you. Now I know I do.”

A tiny sound, something like vulnerability, made her shudder when Nozomi pulled back. She took in the resolve on that face always a step ahead, embracing fear yet grappling it. No one looked at her, saw her, in a way that made her quake. It was terrifying to find a wound filled you never knew you’d had. Worse still knowing you had bled from it.

Then gently her face was held, and when their lips met she draped her arms around Nozomi’s neck.

“моя сладкая…”

She whispered it letting her eyes study Nozomi’s face; her round cheeks, handsome chin, the framing of her forehead under shiny bangs, all of it burned into her memory. They kissed again as she felt hands wander then rest at her waist. Her voice wavered into something that made her clench.

“Я люблю тебя.”

With no resistance, she let Nozomi press her down; pulling her into the first kiss she’d given free of lingering shame. Looking up she saw nothing else but her, stared then into her eyes. Nozomi smiled. Eli smiled back as she cupped her lover’s cheek.

“Я тебя люблю.”

“I love you too.”

They kissed for a long time, and when Eli closed her eyes she saw the little girl she’d been, dancing and soaring on that stage. Warmth filled her.

#love live!#nozoeli #my writing #nozomi tojo #eli ayase

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pikinmin · 3 years ago

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GOING OFF THE DEEP END

this response was so strong I immediately soiled myself

#eli doesn’t love pee

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writings-of-a-daphodil · 4 years ago

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Fire Keeper: Chapter 16

Douxie x fem reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist in bio!

Series Summary: You are Jim’s older sister who is taking a break from college and has moved back home to Arcadia. You end up joining Jim and his friends on their adventures.

Chapter 16 summary: You go with Aja, Krel, and Stuart to the moon to rescue Varvatos.

If there was one spell you were using more often it was the lullaby spell. You quietly sang to the baby in your arms. It was late and you had caught her crying. Thankfully she hadn’t woken any of the other babies and your lullaby was helping her fall back into a peaceful sleep.

Just as you put her back into the crib you felt your phone vibrate. You took it out of your pocket and saw that Toby was calling. You quickly left the house so you wouldn’t wake anyone.

“Hello?” You asked, answering it.

“Hey, Y/n, so my friends, Aja and Krel need help with something and I immediately thought of you.”

“Oh, I know Aja and Krel. What do they need? Is it another bounty hunter?” You asked, concerned. You had only known them for about an hour, but you had grown to care for the siblings. Your older sister instincts had kicked in.

“They need help finding their friend and since you were able to track down Glug I thought maybe you could help them out.”

“Yeah, I can figure something out,” you said. You knew you couldn’t ask Archie to help Aja and Krel, but you could look for their friend’s aura. “Text me the address and I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, and Krel said you might need a disguise.”

“Got it.”

~~~~

After dropping Mao off at Douxie’s you arrived to see Aja, Krel, Eli and Toby waiting.

“He should have been here by now. Those Durians are always late!” Krel whined.

“And this is all one big rescue mission for your geezer friend?” Eli asked.

“For Varvatos, yes,” Krel corrected. “He's being held at a bounty hunter outpost on the Earth's moon.”

“The moon? So flipping cool!” Toby exclaimed. “Although, probably not so much for your friend.”

“Wait we’re going to the moon?” You asked.

Krel, Toby and Eli turned to you. “Oh, hey Y/n. Thanks for coming,” Toby said.

“Um, yeah. I’m here to help.”

“Thank you,” Krel said. “Our friend Varvatos is trapped on the moon in this Bounty Hunter’s guild and we don’t know how big it is and Toby said you could help us find him.”

You smiled. “Yep, I just need you to tell me about him.”

“We can talk on the way there,” Krel said.

Aja paced behind you, talking on the phone. “I told you, we're at a sleepover with our friends Toby, Y/n, and Eli.”

Aja sighed. “Y/n does. I'll find out more and report back. Tomorrow.”

Aja hung up and turned to Toby and Eli. “Thanks for covering for us. Did you bring the gear?”

“As requested,” Toby said, patting a box. You jumped as a spaceship appeared behind him.

Eli gasped. “Awesome!”

“Sauc-er!” Toby joked and you shook your head, smiling at his pun.

“Greetings, Your Majesties. Your chariot awaits. Ah!” The green alien yelped as the ship sputtered.

“That doesn't inspire confidence,” Krel muttered and you nodded.

“And how long is it going to take us to reach the moon... in that?” Aja asked, jumping onto the ship.

“Assuming we make good time, 20 to 30, tops,” the alien said as Krel hopped on after his sister, with the box. He almost fell backwards, but you caught him with your magic. You levitated onto the ship.

“Wow! Minutes?” Eli marveled.

The alien laughed. “Very droll. Ha! This one's a comedian. No, not minutes, hours! So, if you have to use the john, do so now or forever hold your pee.”

“Oh dear,” you mumbled, slightly regretting your decision to help out. However, you weren’t gonna chicken out now, you really wanted to see the moon.

You hopped into the ship and took a seat.

“Who’s she?” The alien asked.

“I’m Y/n. The sorceress, but, uh, you can’t tell anyone that last part. Toby thought I could help, so here I am.”

“Well, I’m Stuart. Welcome aboard,”

~~~~

You yawned, waking up to hear the same song playing that you had fallen asleep to. “How long have I slept?” You asked, confused. In your sleep deprived state you had expected yourself to get a lot more, but the song was still playing.

“Most of the journey,” Krel said.

Aja groaned. “Why do I feel like I've heard this song a thousand times?”

“Ah, ah, ah! It is Uncle Stuey's turn to pick the music,” Stuart said.

“But I'm the-“ Krel started.

Stuart cut him off. “Yes, yes, king-in-waiting. It's a nice try. Out here, rules of the road, thank you very much.”

“But there are no roads,” Krel protested.

“I'm so bored!” Aja groaned.

“Are we there yet?” Krel asked.

“No,” Stuart said and you sighed.

“Are we going to be there soon?” Aja asked.

“No,” Stuart replied.”

“How much longer?” Krel asked.

“Not for a while,” Stuart answered vaugly, which was beginning to annoy you.

“Like, ten mekrons?” Aja asked and you wondered what a mekron was.

“No.”

“Twenty mekrons?” Krel suggested.

“No!” Stuart snapped.

“Thirty mekrons?” Aja asked.

“We'll get there when we get there! Oi!” Stuart yelled. The ship settled into silence again and you decided it was time to try your hand at entertaining the kids.

You did a few magic tricks, mostly creating things with magic, but they were entertained nonetheless.

~~~~

Krel chuckled. “Huh.”

“What?” You asked, turning away from the game of chess you had created using magic.

Krel gestured out the window where you could see earth and the sun rising behind it. It was a beautiful sight.

Aja yawned, as Krel woke her up. “If you're waking me up, we better be there,” she threatened.

“Come on! You're gonna wanna see this,” Krel said excitedly.

“Oh, lively!” Aja breathed.

“You know, for a dump heap, it's really quite beautiful,” Krel admitted and you gave him a look.

Aj smiled. “Or as Vex would say, glorious.”

You continued to admire the planet when you heard gas hissing from Stuart.

“Ah!” Krel cried.

You plugged your nose. “Really?”

“Ah! Stuart!” Aja scolded.

“That was rank, even for you,” Krel said.

“The fact that you'd assume immediately that it's me, it's really very offensive,” Start said as he pulled down towards the moon's surface. You marveled at it.

“As far as I’m aware, I’m the first sorceress to step foot on the moon,” you said excitedly.

Aja patted your back. “Lively.”

Stuart called you over to the computer screen. “According to the computer, there appears to be an anomaly in quadrant two hundred and forty five, here in sector fourth five.”

The spaceship docked, and you, Aja, and Krel rushed out of the spaceship. You were glad to finally be out of the cramped ship.

Aja gasped. “Get me out of here!”

Krel took a deep breath. “I can't take it anymore!”

“I can breathe!” You cried.

Aja jumped to the ground, but she instead hovered in the air. “A moon with low gravity. So lively!”

Krel jumped after her. “I got you, I got you!”

Aja sighed. “Great, but who's got you?”

Stuart jumped up to get them and he sighed contentedly as they floated to the ground. “Ah! I forgot how much I love it here. You weigh less, you've got none of that unnecessary oxygen clogging up your respiratory system.”

They reached the ground, landing in front of you. “Y/n how are you breathing?” Krel asked, suddenly realizing the lack of oxygen.

“Magic,” you said vaguely. “I cast a spell when I realized we were going to the moon.”

Krel nodded as the four of you continued walking.

“Zadra's ship! Alpha must have taken it when he captured Vex!” Krel stated excitedly. You and Krel had exchanged life stories on the long ride over, so you knew what he was talking about.

“Then the intel from that hammer guy was right. They're here,” Aja said.

The siblings went to walk away, but Stuart grabbed them. “Yeah, whoa, whoa! Easy there! This is the Hunter's Guild Lunar Outpost, where the most dastardly bounty hunters in the galaxy refuel and reload. It's also got a temporary prison. Humans would call it a drunk tank.”

“Oh yuck!” You exclaimed, you did not want to deal with a bunch of intoxicated aliens.

“I get it! It's a rough crowd,” Aja said, shrugging off Stuart's hand.

“Which is why we're going to stick to the plan, thanks to Toby and Darci,” Krel said, spinning the box and tossing it. He held his arms out for the box, but it took awhile for it to fall. He sighed. “Let's do this.”

Krel took out the mole mascot costume and he put it on while you put a large black cape around you to hide your face and body.

“Oh!” Krel cried as a cup hit him when you walked in.

“Bounty hunters are a touchy lot. You have to stay alert.” Stuart warned.

“You try staying alert without any peripheral vision,” Krel pouted.

“Psst. Zeron Brother, 12 o'clock,” Aja warned. You looked to see a weird coyote looking thing.

The Zeron guy pulled a dagger on the robot. “I didn't order this.” He cut the robots head off and you shuddered. “Heads up, comrades. I have a drink I call the energizer. Light it up, Tronos.”

Tronos laughed. “With pleasure! Bottoms up!”

“Heh, rough crowd,” Stuart chuckled.

“Psst, keep them busy,” Aja ordered as the two of you went to find Varvatos.

The two of you eventually found him after you looked for an aura similar to Aja and Krel’s.

You approached the cell and Varvatos growled. “You enter this cell, Varvatos Vex promises you will only be hastening your own dismemberment.”

“That wasn't the reaction I was looking for,” Aja said smiling.

“Aja? Queen-in-waiting!” Varvatos exclaimed.

“Shh! That guard could come back any mekron,” Aja warned.

“Varvatos thought you were-- What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Krel and I thought a little rescue mission might make for a fun summer vacation,” Aja explained.

“A suicide mission is more like it. This place is replete with bounty hunters! Varvatos did not train you to be this foolish,” Varvatos reprimanded.

Aja grinned. “I'm glad to see prison hasn't changed you, Varvatos.”

Varvatos sighed. “This prison is a fitting punishment for what Varvatos did. Now go, and leave him to rot.”

“Haha, I didn’t come to the moon just to see it. Krel told me all about the amazing Varvatos Vex, I’m here to save you too,” you explained, hoping to encourage the poor Ackaridian.

“And who are you?” Varvatos asked.

“She is Y/n. A sorceress, but you can’t tell anyone that last bit,” Aja explained, obviously losing patience.

“Don’t worry, Aja,” You soothed. “We’ve got this.”

Aja grumbled. “We don't have time for this! As queen-in-waiting, shouldn't I decide what's a fitting punishment?” She cleared her throat. “By order of the Akiridion-Five throne, I grant you a royal pardon. I overturn your banishment and sentence you to the protection of House Tarron. Come home, Varvatos. We need you.”

Aja didn't wait for Varvatos to answer, she blasted the key pad, but it didn’t open the door.

“It's no use. The diavelant laser grid can't be deactivated without the prison guard's key,” Varvatos explained.

Aja began to scream. “What are you doing? You'll alert the guard!” Varvatos warned and you realized what Aja was doing. You began to scream too.

“I'm getting the key,” Aja said.

You didn't have to wait long for the guard to come. “Hey, what's with all the noise down here?”

You and Aja hid and when he walked to Varvatos’s cell she attacked the guard.

Unfortunately the guard fought. Back and you did your best to blast them without hitting Aja. The guard growled when your magic skimmed him.

“This is some rescue, really,’ Varvatos said.

Aja huffed. “A little patience? Or did you forget that part of your warrior training?”

Soon enough the two of you were able to kick the guard towards Varvatos’s cell. “No touching!” Varvatos warned as the guard fell into the wall. He then fell to the ground unconscious. Aja got the key and freed Varvatos.

“Varvatos was wrong to doubt your tactical prowess. It is most impressive.”

Aja smiled. “You taught me well. Wait, you're missing something.”

“Varvatos' serrator?” He laughed as Aja handed him his protractor like weapon. “Oh, how he has missed you, sweet mistress of death!” He kissed his serrator.

“I can't tell if you're happier to see me or your serrator,” Aja laughed. You began to lead them out of the dungeon, but Varvatos stopped.

“Wait. Wait one delson. Where is Zadra?” He asked.

“Come on,” you interrupted. “We need to go, I can hear fighting.”

The three of you made your way to the bar. “A room of Foo-Foo fighters. A battle of the ages!” Varvatos laughed.

“There they are!” Aja said, ignoring him. You ran over to Stuart and Krel.

“Glorious!” Vex yelled, as he watched the fight between what appeared to be all the bounty hunters.

A robot that looked like a rabbit found a gun and started firing it while you hid. “Die, die, die, die, die, die!” It yelled.

“Vex, wow! Looks like someone's been getting beefy in the clink. Really digging the lats, brah. Boom-boom!” Stuart joked.

“Hello, Stuart,” Varvatos said, but he didn’t seem too excited. His eyes lit up though when he saw Krel. “Your Highness!”

Aja interrupted the reunion. “Run now, reunions later.”

“Varvatos approves of this plan.”

The rabbit robot continued yelling. “Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die--“ Varvatos jumped out at him. “I'm dead.”

Varvatos grabbed the rabbit and began to spin it around. “Now come get some!” Varvatos challenged.

“Let’s go!” you called, creating a shield around your group as Varvatos took care of the bounty hunters.

“Varvatos thanks you for the light exercise,” he called as you left the bar. You burst out of the doors only to stop when the low gravity made you run slower.

“Varvatos Vex!” The coyote bounty hunter yelled. “Your death is mine!”

“Glorious!” Varvatos yelled only to be slowed as he exited the building. “The gravity here is most unhelpful.”

“Kleb!” Krel cursed.

“Yah! They're mine!” Coyote guy slammed the doors to the bar, keeping the other bounty hunters out.

“Hurry! He's right behind us!” Aja called.

“If we want a shot at outrunning these guys, we should take Zadra's Stryker,” Krel said, pointing.

“Hey, what are you trying to imply about my ship?” Stuart protested. You ran towards Zadra’s ship only to stop when it exploded.

“Ah!” Krel sighed. “Oh, but I'm sure we can make it work.”

“You three, go ahead. Varvatos Vex will hold him off.”

“We came all this way, we're not leaving without you,” Aja said.

“Alpha killed Varvatos' family. Varvatos must end this.”

“Now give Alpha a glorious death,” Aja encouraged, running off.

You made it to the ship and helped Aja up.

“Is no one gonna back up Vex?” Stuart asked.

Aja shook her head. “The Zerons killed Vex's family. This is his fight.”

You hopped into the ship to help get it ready, just in case you had to make a hasty getaway.

You heard shouting outside.

“Do you think he's winning?” Stuart asked. You heard something hit the ship. “It sounds like he's winning.”

The lights outside the ship turned off and you heard Varvatos grunt.

“Any idea what's going on out there?” Aja asked, concerned for her friend.

“Still too dark to see,” Krel said.

It got quiet. “I’m going out there,” Aja said.

“Me too,” Krel agreed.

“Here,” you cast a spell that lit up the hanger. Aja nodded to you and left.

Eventually they came back and you smiled at them. “Who’s ready for the up to thirty hour journey home?” You asked, sarcastically excited.

~~~~

You watched the window as earth steadily got closer. While space was fun, you really missed earth.

“Varvatos must admit, he is looking forward to returning home. If you were to grant him that honor, despite his own failings.”

“Hey, we've all made mistakes and we've all lost people that meant the world to us,” Krel consoled.

“But the three of us are a family,” Aja said and you smiled, it was sweet seeing them happy. You were glad you could help.

Stuart cleared his throat and you all chuckled. “And Stuart,” Aja added.

“And Varvatos will not fail his family again.”

You watched as Stuart pulled you closer to Arcadia and you were excited to see your home. That excitement suddenly disappeared when someone shot at you.

“Somebody is shooting at us!” Varvatos yelled.

“But who?” Stuart asked.

“Maybe it’s the government lady,” you suggested, falling as Stuart did his best to make a crash landing.

You coughed as the door opened and Stuart fell out. “Uncle! Uncle! We come in peace. Ah! Ouch.”

“I thought you were an enemy ship! I could have killed you!” An Acaridian who you believed was Zadra said.

“Well, you... you definitely tried,” Stuart pouted.

Aja cleared her throat and Zadra came over to her.

“What? You said you were at a sleepover,” Zadra said.

Aja laughed sheepishly. “I am sorry. I feel bad about that.”

“You have no idea how much I worried! I nearly took up knitting!” Zadra said and you laughed.

“Such is the pain of raising teen-agers,” Varvatos said as he came out of the ship.

Zadra narrowed her eyes at Varvatos. “I didn't ask for your opinion, nor did I authorize the rescue of a traitor.”

“He's family. We had to rescue him,” Aja protested.

“We will discuss your actions later. For now, I fear a far greater battle lies ahead,” Zadra said ominously. You heard your phone beep from your pocket and you checked the message.

You sighed. “As much as I’d love to stay and hear about this great battle, I’ve got to get going. Thanks for bringing me along.”

“Any time Y/n,” Stuart said.

“Thank you for assisting,” Varvatos said.

You smiled and turned to Aja and Krel. “If you need anything just call me. I’m here to help, okay?”

“Thank you, Y/n,” Aja said, hugging you.

“Of course. Just send me a text if you need to. I’ll be visiting my brother Jim in New Jersey next week, but I’ll still be available to talk.”

“Bye Y/n, thank you!” Krel called as you walked away. You turned and waved at them before settling in for the long walk in the heat to the bookstore. You were glad Douxie had air conditioning.

~~~~

“Where’s my darling?” You asked, walking into the book shop.

“Up here!” Douxie called and you followed his voice to his living room. Mao was curled up with Archie next to Douxie.

“Aww, see you had nothing to worry about,” you said, gesturing to the adorable kitten sleeping peacefully.

“At first she was a little hesitant, but she warmed up to him,” Archie said.

“Of course she did, I never had any doubts.” You took a seat next to Archie and leaned back into the couch. It was pretty comfy and his home was so cold.

"So, what was the errand that called you out in the middle of the night?" Douxie asked.

"I went to the moon," you said excitedly. "I made friends with these nice kids who are from a planet far from here. They needed to rescue their friend from a bounty hunter's hide out on the moon. It's a long story."

Douxie chuckled. "Huh, who knew."

"Arcadia has a lot to offer." You smiled brightly, it warmed your heart that Douxie didn't even hesitate to believe you. You had really fallen for him. He was just so great.

~~~~

The two of you continued chatting for quite a while longer until you grew tired.

The past few days had been very eventful for you and it has been over a month since the eternal night so you were out of routine. Not only had that made you tired, it was the crying babies who currently at your household. You adored them, but you where definitely much more tired than normal.

Archie and Mao cuddled up close to you and Douche brought you a blanket and pillow. He understood what it was like to be exhausted and he wanted to do his best to help you feel better. Unbeknownst to you he really cared for you. He really liked you.

****

Thank you all for reading, I really appreciate all of you and I hope you have fantastic weekends and stay safe! Next half chapter will be you visiting Jim in New Jersey, so stay tuned for that next week!! 💕

P.S. if you want to be on the taglist feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn’t.

P.P.S. I'm totally open for requests on fluffy half chapters! If you have any ideas for the half chapters send them in and I'll do my best to include them.

#douxie x reader #douxie imagine #hisirdoux casperan x reader #hisirdoux x reader #wizards imagine #trollhunters imagine #tales of arcadia imagine #toa imagine #douxie #toa douxie #wizards douxie #hisirdoux casperan #wizards #trollhunters #trollhunters douxie #toa #tales of arcadia #tales of arcadia douxie #fire keeper

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doc-pickles · 4 years ago

Note

Re reading all your fics because I am having the ✨ depressive episode of the century ✨ and it made me think of what the phone call to Alex would have been like from meredith in your pandemic fanfic - would you be willing to write an Alex POV pleeeeeeeeeeeeease please please I need it rn

Needed to write this after this weeks episodes threw me for a goddamn loop. Enjoy!! xoxo Nina

Alex was exhausted. Between trying to balance seeing his kids and running a new hospital, he barely had time to breathe. On top of all of that, the world was on fire and he worked in a hospital during a pandemic. He desperately missed when he could come home at the end of the day and collapse into bed with Jo and not worry about anything. That wasn’t his reality anymore though, he was in Kansas seeing his kids on the weekends and falling asleep alone.

He had just settled into an on call room bed when his phone blared loudly next to him. Alex sighed, running his hand over his face before grabbing his phone, “Karev.”

“Well hello there stranger.”

“Mer,” Alex let a smile cover his cheeks as he heard his best friend's voice on the other end of the line. “How’re you doing? I miss you.”

“We’re hanging in there. It’s been… rough,” Meredith paused then, as if she was having some big mental debate, before speaking again. “Listen Alex, you need to come back.”

“I told you I’m not coming back, you’re making this har-”

“It’s not for me, it’s for Jo.”

Alex perks up at the mention of his ex wife, heart hammering in his chest as he sits up, “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

“Alex, calm down, she’s fine. Promise me you won’t freak out?”

“I promise.”

“You need to come home because… because Jo is pregnant. And I’m starting to worry about her,” whatever air Alex had in his lungs is immediately knocked out at Meredith’s words. He couldn’t comprehend what she was saying, but he listened anyway. “I don’t think she’s left the loft since this whole thing started and she’s got Schmitt locked in there with her. I just… you know I wouldn’t be calling if I didn’t have to.”

Alex knew Meredith was right, she wouldn’t ask him to leave his kids if she didn’t think he needed to. Their relationship the past few months had been rocky, but not once had she asked him to come back to Seattle, “She's pregnant… Jo’s pregnant? I’m gonna be a dad?”

“Well you already are one, but yeah,” Meredith’s laugh on the other end of the line was refreshing, Alex letting his own laugh sound out. “She missed you, she won’t say it but she does. Schmitt told me she’s been struggling, I really think you need to come see her.”

Rubbing a hand through his short locks, Alex sighed as he realized what he needed to do, “I’m coming back, I’m not leaving her again. I just gotta sort things out with Iz and then I’ll be home.”

And he does, he goes to Izzie’s and tearfully tells her what’s happened, tells her that he needs to go back and be there for Jo and their baby. She slaps him upside the head, which he really deserves, and tells him she’ll send him the kids for summers and holiday visits. He knows that they’ll be okay without him, they have Izzie and her husband, but his heart still breaks a bit as he presses a kiss to Alexis and Eli’s foreheads and promises he’ll visit soon.

He grabs his things from the guest house, thankful that he’d taken Izzie’s offer to stay on the farm until he found a place. He had a place, in Seattle with Jo and their baby. Their baby. He still couldn’t get it through his head that Jo was having his baby. He knew that he had two beautiful children already, but they were the product of science and him depositing his sperm into a cup almost a decade ago. This new baby was created out of love, with a woman he loved more than anything in the world. He’d get to experience everything with this baby, not come into their life five years down the road and play catch up.

As he pulled out of the farm, he thought about seeing her again. He’d have to grovel and beg, but it'd be worth it if Jo let him back in.

Three weeks after he left Kansas, Alex found himself sitting on the couch in the loft that he and Jo had called home for years. Jo was spread out across the couch, eyes closed and head in his lap as he let his fingers stroke lazily through her hair. He watched as she moved her hand across her stomach, an attempt to calm the baby moving around within her.

“We’re gonna need a bigger place,” Jo muttered as she opened her eyes to meet Alex’s. “Once she gets here, we’re not gonna have any room in here.”

Alex lets his hand trail down to Jo’s belly, waiting for only a moment before their daughter kicks at his hand. He still can’t believe that Jo and him were going to have a baby. A little girl, at that.

“You wanna buy a mansion? Live out in the middle of the woods like Mer and Shepherd did,” Alex chuckles as Jo swats at his chest, her own smile rising on her cheeks. “Too much? I don’t see us as suburbs people, Jo.”

“That’s fine, I’m sure it’ll be totally okay bringing a baby home in this neighborhood,” Jo rolled her eyes as she settled her hand over his, her eyes watching intently as the kicks below their hands stretched her skin. “It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, just something with room for a baby. She’ll need room to run around eventually and I don’t think she’ll appreciate sharing a room with us for long.”

He’d always pictured this, growing a family with Jo and discussing houses and kids and school districts. He didn’t think he’d get the chance, he knew he’d fucked things up but Jo… Jo was more gracious and loving than he could put into words. They’d talked, how they should’ve before he left, and worked out the issues they had. They were good and if they weren’t they were on their way there.

“Well we can look, I wouldn’t say no to having some more space,” Alex leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jo’s lips, taking in her contented look for a moment. “I love you.”

“I love you too, but I really have to pee,” Jo groaned as she sat up and made her way towards the bathroom. “Can you tell her to stop kicking my bladder?”

“You know she doesn’t listen to me, that’s all on you,” Alex chuckled as he relaxed into the couch.

He was grateful Meredith had called him, grateful for the opportunity to be there from the start with his child. Most of all, he was grateful for this second chance to make things right with Jo.

#nina answers #nina writes

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pikinmin · 3 years ago

Text

crying into my hands

lol these bitches are really called PEES 😂😂😂

#eli doesn’t love pee

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blackroseraven · 3 years ago

Photo

Muck day today, in the muggy, humid, godawful heat.

I’m going to die come summer at this rate. This humidity is already too much for me. I had to literally take off my glasses because I was sweating so much.

I got to feed horses this morning, at least. I also learned that poor Eli Shama got out on the grass and immediately gave himself laminitis, so he’s down in a pen now, while Biggs is in with Joe. Joe apparently absolutely loves Biggs for some reason. Teacherlady showed me a photo she took of Joe basically laying sideways all cuddled up on Biggs, and Biggs just standing there, perfectly content with it.

Weirdos.

They didn’t use any lime yesterday so the stalls reeked of mare pee because, you know, it’s also mare pee season, and again, it’s very humid and gross. But. Pushed through it all, and then I was able to grab Quattro and spend a good amount of time grooming and cleaning him. Worked on his hooves some, too: shaved a lot of gross frog off and cut some of the corner edges off his hooves, and then put peroxide on them today rather than koppertox and let them soak for a bit to really help kill the bacteria.

Then we went up to the arena. I walked him around a little, then got on him and I carefully worked on doing exercises on his back. Basically turning myself around to sit backwards on him, then back forwards. He did really, really good, and I was able to let him walk a little just using the rope on the halter to control him. He only scooted out from under me once, and I was able to get right back on and then repeat the exercise without any problem, I think he just got surprised.

He’s very vocal about how much he doesn’t like it, though. He squeaks and huffs a lot, and kind of twitches his back, but doesn’t really buck.

He’s a good boy, though. He held up really well, and I was even able to do a little bit of running around in just his halter too, even as the arena got busier. It was really nice. We only cantered a little, though: he felt pretty sore. He clearly wanted to run, but was achy.

He did a great job, though. And even if I didn’t get to do all the dumb things I wanted today, in part because of how freaking humid it is today, we worked on some really important things. Being able to trust him to stand while I move around on him - even, especially when he doesn’t like it - is really huge.

He’s looking great.

Now we just need to keep moving forwards, and see what else he’s capable of.

#horse #quattro

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revisionaryhistory · 4 years ago

Text

Three Days ~ 62

~*~Emma~*~

I slapped at my phone until the alarm stopped. My head was exploding. Why did I think drinking champagne all day was a good idea? I guess it was better than being sober all day. Thankfully, there was Advil in my purse and a bottle of water on the nightstand. The alarm went off again. I grabbed my phone, silenced the alarm, and checked what I'd done. There were alarms set for every fifteen minutes. Must have hit snooze last time. At least I'd had the forethought to set my alarm early enough to pack. There was a little blinking light telling me I had a text.

Sebastian ~ Up early for a TV interview. Hope you're not feeling too bad. Enjoy your morning with the women.

Sebastian ~ If we miss each other have a safe flight.

Sebastian ~ Check Instagram

Uh oh. Wonder what he posted. I touched the notification saying he'd posted and laughed. The mouse ears were so him. He looked adorable. The mocking expression on his face and the caption was perfect. From the many, many comments his fans agreed. I liked the post but went back to text to comment.

Emma ~ Funny, funny boy. And cute.

Emma ~ Head bursting. My own fault.

Emma ~ xoxo

I showered, packed, got ready, and double-checked I had everything before dragging my bag downstairs. The house was quiet. I'd said my good-byes to Dad, Amy, and Katie last night. Mom came down as I was finishing my toast and fruit. She was dressed in scrubs and looked like her Advil hadn't kicked in yet. She went straight to the Keurig, "How's your head?"

I held up my coffee cup, "Caffeine and Advil have helped. You?"

"Why did we think that was a good idea?"

I laughed, "It was fun."

"You need to drink a lot of water before your flight."

"Will do." I grabbed us both a bottle of water out of the fridge.

In the car, mom called into work and did her typical morning meeting. I used to love going in to do rounds. Very Grey’s Anatomy. Not quite as fascinating as an adult. I used the time to post a couple of things on Instagram. Amy and I had mom take identical pictures yesterday and I posted them with dad’s bad joke about not being able to imagine what I'd look like with short hair. The first pick was me with long hair and if you swiped you got Amy with shorter hair. One more swipe gave you a picture of us both.

Chris Evans was the first comment, "You just gave Seb a heart attack."

I sent back, "Na, we had a FT date last night."

If Sebastian, Chris, and Chace were going to be commenting I needed to go through my followers and cull the people with which I didn't interact. By the look of follow requests, Amy must have given out my user name. Most were people from Saturday. That wasn't going to happen. Lauren was the only possible and I left her on the list. The others I declined. Even without the Three Musketeers, I wouldn’t have approved them.

The shelter had a real name, but if you knew where and what it was you referred to it as a home for lost girls. There was usually a wide range of ages, but they were all lost girls. Mom went to set up and I joined the other women in the common room. There was no time limit for staying and every time I came here it was a mix of old and new faces. Stacy, one of the therapists from my rehab facility, was now the director and she joined us ten minutes after I'd arrived. She called for everyone to gather and I joined in their morning group. So many women with so many stories just trying to make it through the nights. I was cautious with what I disclosed but easily gave feedback and comfort. When group was over mom started calling today's patients back. Others went off to start their day and I stayed with whoever was left. I spent a long time with a girl who couldn’t be much over eighteen. Her timid jumpiness told me she was new, her story fresh. I sat with her, Stacy, and two other residents until they convinced her to join them for some distraction.

Stacy studied my face, "You look happy. Things going well?"

There was always a check. She did groups when I was in rehab, so while I worked with her it wasn’t individual. I’m sure she knew more about me from treatment planning meetings than I’d shared with her. I had asked Trevor once what he shared and he said just the basics, but not details of my story. "Very. Work, good volleyball team, life in general." I felt the smile forming.

"That's a boyfriend face if I’ve ever seen one."

"He’s pretty great." I glanced to the hall making sure my mom wasn't there. "Helped me get through this long weekend."

"I guess that means I won't be seeing you more often. You're very soothing. I could put you to good use."

I cringed, "Don't let mom hear you say that."

The fun thing about talking to Stacy in this setting is I get to know about her life too. We caught up like old friends until mom was ready to go.

"There's enough time to get a coffee. You could tell me more about you and Sebastian."

Seriously? I've been here four days. We're on the way to the airport. This is the last possible moment she could ask about us, about him. I am doubtful of the sincerity of her curiosity.

"Mom, I appreciate the olive branch, but no, I don't want to have coffee and talk about Sebastian."

She didn't look at me.

I felt a little bad. "Is there something going on with Amy I don't know about?"

Her face read panic when she looked over, "Why would you ask that?"

"Because you and dad are so, I don’t know, protective. She hasn't used since she got pregnant. She's a good mom. Work is good. Saturday was fun. She and Max are a thing. Since Christmastime, we’ve talked and texted more. She seems in a good place. I don’t get why I’m supposed to pretend my life sucks. Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No, she's doing well. Can you understand we want to keep it that way?"

"Of course, but is sheltering her like this necessary?" She started to say something and I held up my hand. "Let me finish. You're trying so hard to protect her you've hurt me. I’ve never felt less important than this visit. Completely discounted. Like you don't care about my life, my happiness."

"That's not true, but Amy..."

I interrupted, angry now, "No, mom. I tell you my feelings are hurt and I feel unimportant and instead of addressing me you say "but Amy." I don't brag about myself, but it seems like anything above my total failure is assumed to make her inferior. If that's true she needs a better therapist. Did you ever consider that your over-protectiveness tells her she's not capable? Just like when we were sixteen, what you see as best is the worst possible thing for me. You saw us as broken and damaged. When I didn't see myself that way you focused on Amy instead of putting aside your guilt and fear to figure out what I needed. I didn’t need pity or to be seen as half a person damaged by a tragedy. I needed to be seen as a strong whole person who had something bad happen. Twelve years later my experience is still less because I wasn't addicted to heroin. The rest was different but equally bad."

"I understand that, Emma. I'm proud of you. I don't know the reasons, why you soar and she struggles. Maybe part is on us. We were devasted and grieving. Amy's reaction made sense. Yours didn’t. You are not less important. Your happiness matters. You are stronger than Amy. It takes nothing from you to restrain what you talk about in front of her."

Right back where we started. "The only reason it doesn’t is that I won't let it."

The look on her face was relieved. Pleased. She misunderstood and I wasn't willing to clarify.

It does take something from me to diminish my happiness and hide my successes. It does take something away from me to have my parents not ask about me except for the last half hour of my visit or expect me to whisper in the corner. With the limited time I spend with my biological family, I could do as they ask. The problem isn't as much what they ask of me, as much as their complete unawareness or lack of concern about my feelings. As Eli, and probably Sebastian, would say, "they chose Amy."

I choose me.

The silence was uncomfortable, so I filled it talking about room switches at work and my ideas for changing my room’s theme. It's possible I was being childish by refusing to talk about Sebastian. I definitely felt like a child right now. A surly one.

At the airport, we hugged, exchanged I love yous, and she told me to tell Sebastian it was nice to meet him. I said I would. Might have been a lie.

In the baggage check line, I mulled over options. I wanted a friendly voice, but I wanted to leave this behind. Angie and I had texted several times a day as usual and she knew what was going on.

Emma ~ Heading toward security. Once I clear I could use a friendly voice.

Angie ~ You can keep me company while I fold laundry. Support or distraction?

Emma ~ Distraction

Angie ~ Oh good, I want to hear the story behind the mouse ears. He looked hot.

Emma ~ Will do!

There was plenty of time before my flight since I’d opted out of coffee with mom. I headed to the food court area. The first thing I saw was a Savannah Candy Kitchen and bought enough pralines to share at school tomorrow. We had to have our rooms packed by Friday if we wanted the custodial staff to move us. Luckily, I kept everything in my cabinets in totes and bins, so that was done. I enjoyed taking things down and starting over. I’d throw on some music, dance, and sing my way through the day.

One bite of praline and my stomach started screaming. I’d had toast and fruit for breakfast to work through the hangover. That was gone. I’d forgotten there was a Varsity in Terminal C. Mmmm. Cheeseburger, some home-made fries, and a super thick orange shake. I could walk to the one at UGA from my Freshman dorm. I found a table in a corner and took a picture to make people jealous with later before calling Angie.

“Mind if I eat while we talk?”

“We take our phones to the bathroom and keep on FaceTime.”

“Good point.” Not like we didn’t go to the bathroom together. Seemed silly to hang up. “Sebastian told me I could watch him pee the other night.”

She laughed, “How did this come up in conversation?”

“We were discussing birthday sex and it took a turn into limits. Watching him pee is as far as he’ll go.” We both laughed.

“Perfectly acceptable limit.”

“Definitely.” I shoved a fry in my mouth and moaned my approval. “He can feel the strings of my IUD.”

“Eli can’t.”

“Does Eli have short fingers?”

“Do you have a short vagina?” We laughed some more, both knowing we’d be checking out their fingers the next time we were together. “What’s the deal with the ears?”

“I signed an NDA yesterday. Sebastian felt bad about it. Disney was the only studio on the thing, so I sent him ears.” I shrugged and took a bite of my burger.

“That’s cute. Both of you. There’s something hot about Disney knowing he’s going to tell you secrets and making sure you can’t repeat them.”

I talked around a mouthful of hamburger, “I thought the same thing!”

We talked about nothing and everything until my flight was called. Sometime in there, Eli came home and we were on speakerphone for a while. They had a gig this weekend and I’d be in town. Sebastian and I hadn’t talked about plans yet. I’d think about plans after I had my hands on him. Literally. About an hour after.

Once we were high enough, I switched my phone on and connected to the plane's WiFi. I’d missed a text while I was talking to Eli and Angie.

Sebastian ~ Woo hoo, where are you?

Emma ~ 30,000 feet above Georgia.

Emma ~ I was talking to Angie and Eli and missed you. ☹

Sebastian ~ No sad face. I’m here. I miss you too.

Emma ~ Hi . . . what are you doing?

Sebastian ~ Finished with a lunch. Meeting/sightseeing trip soon. Pretty sure that means going to a bar.

Emma ~ Or strip club. Look, don’t touch.

Sebastian ~ Promise. Don’t think that’s the plan. What are you doing tonight?

Emma ~ Not a damn thing. Sitting in the quiet of my house.

Sebastian ~ Sounds peaceful. I’m afraid to ask how today went.

Emma ~ Shelter was great. Drive to airport not so much. Nothing worth whining about. I feel like I’ve done enough of that lately.

Sebastian ~ Not whining. I know you got this, but I liked being leaned on.

Emma ~ I liked you being there. Thank you again.

Sebastian ~ You’re welcome. Work tomorrow?

Emma ~ Yep, have to everything boxed up by Friday. Mallory and I are just switching rooms. I’ll be hosting lunches next year. Closer to the cafeteria. Closer to parking. Same view just the other side of the building.

Sebastian ~ Makes it easy. I’ll call you tomorrow. Not such a jam-packed day.

Emma ~ No worries. I see you in two days.

Sebastian ~ Going to kiss you so hard you’ll push me away.

Emma ~ Wouldn’t count on that, baby cakes.

Sebastian ~ Baby cakes . . . lol

Emma ~ Maybe one day I’ll pick one.

Sebastian ~ I enjoy the variety.

Emma ~ Very mood dependent

Sebastian ~ So asshole would be angry?

Emma ~ I’m far more creative than asshole.

Sebastian ~ I don’t doubt that. For now, Mr. Baby Cakes will do.

Emma ~ And you may address me as Princess Emeliana of Seattle. Dare you to scream that when you come.

Sebastian ~ Now I have to at least try. I’ll practice later.

Emma ~ Tease.

Sebastian ~ Only in the best way. I have to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Sebastian ~ I miss you, Em

Emma ~ Miss you too, Bastian

I went back to Sebastian's Instagram account and did a quick scroll through the comments on his latest post. Even though I wasn't mentioned it was the first sign of me on his IG and I was curious. The closest anyone got was a question if they were his ears because they were Minnie ears. That was irrelevant. I picked them because they matched my bikini and he would notice. I didn't go back to the picture from brunch, but it did get me thinking. I had no strong feelings one way or another about being photographed with him. I’ve never been into the whole Instagram official or Facebook relationship thing. Don't even have Facebook. Even for a non-celebrity, I think social media is more about perception than truth. I am guilty of that too. Hell, even this weekend. I was not immune to liking the attention from friends when I posted something. The DM's after Chris' comment had been fun as shit. There was the group picture from the tournament, but if you didn’t know it was Sebastian wrapped around me, you'd never recognize Sebastian. Ok, a fan would.

Sebastian had said we'd talk about fans later. He’d mentioned they weren't always nice to his friends or girlfriends. I went looking and it didn't take long to find a blog that chronicled his dating history. I was both intrigued and frightened. I understand the public figure piece and fan culture. But being able to see all this about my boyfriend felt like I was looking through his phone gallery and text messages. Alternately, if everyone else knew why shouldn’t I? My solution was to avoid information on Sebastian's relationships as much as I could and stick to fan reactions. It wasn't really hard to do. Pretty quickly I realized Twitter was a hot mess. The ease with which people hit reply and said things I hoped they'd never say face to face was like a shark feeding frenzy. Comment sections on Instagram weren't quite as bad. It lacked the voraciousness. Something about the way comments were nested with replies instead of a never-ending thread seemed less frantic. I now understood what Sebastian had said about the fans tearing each other apart. So often what should have been a disagreement turned into personal attacks. That shit was awful. Comments about friends and girlfriends were the typical fan bullshit. Friends were using him, exploiting the relationship, sharing pictures he didn't want them to, and bragging. Girlfriends weren't good enough, not pretty enough, also using him, and baiting fans. Several of the comments were fake nice. I'm sure some of that was trying to get on the friend, girlfriend, or his good side. Still, the bulk was positive. The negative minority was vocal and vicious.

One of the more interesting offshoots were Sebastian's reactions. They were stretched over years and more toward the whole situation. There were comments he made about it being out of line, hurtful to him, and few where'd he'd lost it and basically told someone to back off. I enjoyed the video clips with him talking about the toxicity and his position that he (and everyone else) needed to live their lives to make themselves happy. The biggest criticism of him was him not making them stop or coming to the defense of his girlfriends. Not sure how he'd make anyone stop. I was sure his lack of publicly defending wasn't indicative of anything except a refusal to engage. He would have taken shit if he had. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. It was clear from our limited conversations on the topic, that he was unhappy with the idea of me being attacked. I wonder if the previous girlfriends were as upset by his assumed indifference as the fans were?

I caught the odd detail or a comment he'd made on an ex’s post. I kept scrolling. It was none of my business. Plus, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about seeing them. I felt a twitch of jealousy with what I had seen, but it was tempered with my belief that exes were exes for a reason. I think knowing too many details of those who came before could lead to comparisons and uncomfortable conversations. Wasn’t super excited to tell him about this, but I would.

As soon as we were given clearance to use our phones, I made a call, knowing it would go to voice mail. "Hey Trevor, it's Emma. Do you have some time for me? Nothing critical. I just got back from Georgia and wanted to talk. Talk to you soon."

I was almost home when Trevor called back, "I always have time for you, Emma."

I laughed, "Only because you like being able to say you've worked with someone for twelve years."

"Sort of. I'm invested. I like keeping up with you. Meet you at the office about five?"

It was almost four, "Perfect. Thank you, Trevor." That gave me time to unpack, start a load of laundry, and make a grocery list.

The office where Trevor and I met wasn't his. One of his friends had a private practice and we'd met there since I moved to Beacon. Before that, it was video sessions. It was after hours, so Trevor met me at the door and locked it behind me. We hugged briefly and I said, "Thank you for seeing me."

Trevor shook his head, "I'm glad you called." He held out his hand, directing me to the office.

"I hope I didn't screw up a parent's night out. I'll send Kristy a gift certificate to a spa. One with childcare. The baby is six months now?"

"Sara is five months. Want to see a picture?"

"Of course." I scoffed. He unlocked his phone and showed me. "She's beautiful, Trevor. I'm so happy for you. You guys will be great parents."

He smiled, "And how are yours?"

I shrugged with a grimace, "Same as always."

I spent the next who knows how long telling him the events and conversations of the last four days. We'd worked together long enough he knew my nonverbals and I knew to add in the words for my emotions. It saved a lot of time with him going back and making me “name my feelings”. When I finished with the car ride today, I took a deep breath and huffed it out.

Trevor said, "Wow."

I laughed. "I know. It was a lot."

"No." He shook his head, "I mean wow, you said all that to your mom. You should be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you. That couldn't have been easy."

"I'd already talked to Ed and Sebastian about everything before, so my thoughts were sorted. I don't feel bad about anything I said, but I'm not sure I'm right." This is why I’d called Trevor. I needed the objective voice of reason. "Am I wrong?"

"Your experience isn't right or wrong."

I just glared at him.

Trevor leaned forward, "You're not wrong. What happened this weekend isn't ok. It's not ok to ask you to hide your happiness. It’s not ok for them to not ask you about your life. It's not ok when you say your feelings are hurt and you feel unimportant for your mother, or anyone else, to tell you how you are wrong."

I wiped my eyes. I felt relief with the validation "Thank you."

He reached over and put a hand on my arm. "You know this, Emma."

"I do." I nodded. "It was just a lot and I needed someone objective." I laughed, "Although Ed told me I've made choices and there are consequences."

Trevor laughed, "He's not wrong, but I think he agrees with most of your choices. He'll tell you if he doesn’t."

"Definitely."

Trevor leaned back and tented his fingers, "Why now? None of this is new. You've gone along with being careful with what you tell Amy. You already limit time with your family because of all these same things. Why say enough now?"

I didn't even have to think. "Sebastian." I started to smile. Trevor started to smile "I’ve meet this man I'm excited about. I want to tell my family, my parents and sister, about him. We set up a video call so they could meet him. Mom was rude. Then they wanted to know nothing more until I was packed and in the car. Tempering my excitement about work and friends is one thing. Sebastian is another thing completely."

"What would you have told them?"

"What would I tell them or what would I tell you?"

Trevor thought about his answer. "Me."

I preferred that answer. I don't know what I would have told them. The answer was very different now than when I was on the plane to Georgia. "Sebastian is a good man. He is good to me... good for me. I love how we talk. I love how he owns his shit. I love how he supports me." It took me a minute to figure out the next bit because I knew Trevor would ask. "I think we crashed into each other and just went for it. But not sharing secrets all at once then regretting having said too much. As we talk and are part of each other’s lives stuff is coming out naturally."

"As you trust more you reveal more. Both of you." Trevor summed that up nicely and I nodded in agreement. "What have you told him?"

"Enough. A lot. Not everything. He doesn't know how I met Ed. He doesn't know all the reasons we went to rehab. There's a chunk of time he doesn't know about." I smiled.

"You gonna tell him?"

I was surprised by how the question hit me. "I never told Jimmy."

Trevor made a face and tilted his head back and forth. "It was fresher. You were both awfully young. You're much more accepting of what you did than you were then." He squinted his eyes and studied me, "You're uncomfortable."

It was a statement, not a question. "I feel ashamed of myself." I chewed on my lip. "We've talked about how relationships are about being brave enough to be vulnerable with another person. We've done both and we've talked about it what that’s been like." I rubbed my finger over where I'd bit too hard. "I'm not brave enough to be that vulnerable."

"Oh, I think you are. You're scared, but you are brave enough. The night we met I was in awe of your bravery. That opinion hasn't changed. I'm not saying you should leave here and tell him everything. But since you feel ashamed you might want to think about talking to him before that shame gets in the way. What are you afraid of?"

"Sebastian will be upset. He has a big heart. He'll be anxious if I'm ok. He’ll think too much."

"Sure. When we learn someone we love has been through something traumatic it's normal to be upset and concerned about them. It’s a good thing.” He paused, looked at me, and spoke again, “What are you afraid of, Emma?"

I was angry at Trevor for not the first time. He makes me look at things I don't want to. I know it’s his job, I count on him to do it, but it pisses me off. "If he knows what I did... the things I had to learn to accept... the things I still struggle with... I like the way he looks at me like I’m good and precious. I'm afraid he'll see me differently." Took no time for the tears to fall.

Trevor said nothing for what felt like an hour, letting me sit in the emotion. When he spoke it was his quiet soothing voice. I used to get mad at his comforting tone too, like I didn’t deserve it, but I know better now. "Seeing you differently doesn't have to be negative. You've not told enough people to be confident it that. Who have you told?"

Trevor knew the answer. He wanted to remind me I knew it too. "Angie and Eli know most everything. Ed knows it all. And you."

"Did any of us react negatively?" I shook my head no. "They were upset. They empathized with you. But it didn't change how they loved you. It made them love you more. Your fear isn't in line with reality. There's no reason. . ." He stopped and took a breath. "Do you love him, Emma?"

"Yes."

"Have you told him?"

"No, I haven't seen him yet."

"Has he told you he loves you?"

"No."

"Does he?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Completely."

"So if everyone you’ve told loved you more there is no reason to think Sebastian would be any different.”

We sat quietly until my tears gave way to a loud cathartic laugh. "You are good."

"Thanks." He blew on his nails and shined them on his shirt.

"How did you do that? Seriously, how?"

Sometimes he'd tell me how he did his therapy magic. Luckily, today was one of those days. "There was something not fitting. Sebastian wasn’t fitting with the others for you. You didn't look at me when I said they'd loved you more. I went on a hunch. You'd not said you loved him. So, I walked you through that so he fit where you could see him as love plus story equals more love."

"Fascinating"

"I know you’re not ready to go public with your story, but I hope someday you will. You could make such a difference in so many lives. I know you channel that into teaching, but if you ever change your mind your story and successes will matter. Just keep it in mind."

"I will." We were winding down. "Do you want to see Sebastian?"

"Yes."

"He's not as cute as your Sara, but he'll do for me." I handed him my phone.

Trevor looked at my phone, then me, then the phone again. "Holy shit, Emma."

"You know him?"

"I am huge Marvel comic nerd. There's stuff in my office. You didn’t notice?"

"I’m not a Marvel nerd. Well, now, sort of."

He laughed, "I got to do family therapy with the lead singer of Pearl Jam. Now I'll get to do couples therapy with the Winter Soldier."

I stretched out my leg and kicked him in the shin, "We do not need couples therapy. We each have our own therapist."

We laughed for a nice long while before Trevor tied everything up. "I'm glad you called to get the validation you needed and to at least look at adding someone to the list of who can support you. I was with you when you told Ed. If you need me to be there if you decide to tell Sebastian I will be. You are correct in thinking the men you love most will struggle most."

I nodded, "I'll think about it. Thank you."

"Thank you for the most successful and challenging session I've had in weeks."

“Glad I could amuse you.”

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #fanfiction #sebastian stan X ofc #marvel actor fanfiction

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

1129

[created by: youvebeensurved - LiveJournal]

How often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? I’ve actually never tried getting a drink from one of those fountains. I find them nasty, and the fact that gas stations aren’t the most hygienic of places certainly doesn’t help their case.

If you get online and look at graphics, what website(s) do you go to? I never find myself looking for graphics. The closest thing I search are vector icons, and for those I have an extension on Chrome that lets me look for icons to place on slides and such.

Who would you say your favorite celebrity is? At the moment it would be Rosamund Pike, but my all-time favorite would be Beyoncé.

Have you ever slept in your car? If so, explain. Sure, mostly when I took naps in between classes. There were also a few times I had late nights out and didn’t have a place to crash at, so I’d sleep in the car for the night before heading home in the morning.

If you were forced to murder one of your parents, which one would it be? This is a horrible question.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Find Me Here - Hayley Williams.

Explain your last run in with the police: Never happened.

Who was the last friend you hung out with, and what did you guys do? In terms of a physical get-together, I was with Angela, Hans, Pia, Kyelle, Al, Gab, and Sam and we had dinner and drinks at this gastropub that announced its impending permanent closure by the end of February. Virtually, I hung out with Andi, Peter, Carmel, Rita, Robin, Mik, and Elis to have a Jeopardy game night over Zoom.

What time do you usually go to bed and wake up? On weekdays I try to turn in anywhere between 9–11 PM and wake up by 6:30. On weekends, I try to stay up until midnight at the earliest, but I’m trying to make it a habit to stay up until like 2–3 AM just so I can catch up on my hobbies and shows. I wake up anywhere between 5–7 AM.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What's stopping you? Lawyer, which is a route I seriously considered for a few years. I get extremely tense in arguments though so I doubt I’d be the best fit for that kind of career.

Do you have a friend that's in a horrible situation right now? Explain. Yeah, my college batchmate (who’s now also my co-worker) Aimee tested positive for COVID this week after being in and out of a fever over the last two weeks.

What was the last store you were in, and what did you buy? I suddenly needed plastic bags while I was packing groceries at the office the other week, so I went to the nearby convenience store to check if they had any. They didn’t, so I left without buying anything.

Who was the last person you texted, and what did this text say? I was texting some media friends to tell them some shoes we had ordered for them to try out are going to be delivered to their address within the day.

What is the reason for the last time you cried? A show I had been watching had an emotional scene.

Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Joanna, of course, mainly because that’s the character Audrey Hepburn plays.

What color did you last paint your nails? I can’t remember the color I chose the last time I had my nails painted 79472394348 years ago.

It's 112 degrees out today, describe your attire: A very thin tank top with airy shorts.

Do you have any friends that are currently in jail? Explain their situation. Not friends but I can think of a couple of relatives who’ve gotten ‘in conflict’ with the law. I won’t get into their cases but for both of them, it was because they got tricked by their respective abusive bosses, hence the quote marks.

Do you tend to take long or short surveys? I like taking those whose lengths are right in the middle - anywhere between 35-80 questions. Shorter ones look boring and I find the longer ones too time-consuming.

What do you currently desire? I changed my mind about La Creperie and will be going to Ramen Nagi instead since I just remembered they currently have a truffle ramen thing that’s only going to be around for a limited time, and I want to get my hands on it before they take it off the menu.

How often do you honk your horn? Depends on how stupid the people I’m driving with are on a given day.

For what reason were you last at a park? We don’t have too many parks here so there’s little opportunity to stay at one. I remember seeing one with Gab when we were at BGC a little over a year ago, but we only walked through it since it was part of the route we were taking to get to our actual destination.

What junk food can you never pass up? Salted egg chips and pizza.

If you're a girl, what is your favorite brand of feminine hygiene products? If you're a boy, what is your favorite brand of condoms? I don’t have a favorite.

Where was the last place you went on a walk to? Just around the neighborhood. I also wanted to make this morning’s route with Cooper a little longer so he could walk more, so we went to parts of the village we don’t normally reach.

How are you feeling today? I’m content :) It’s the weekend so I’m not too tense like I normally would be on weekdays. I also have plans to go out later today so I’m looking forward to that.

Do you ever make your own surveys? Never tried because I know I wouldn’t be able to come up with new and interesting questions.

How flexible are you? Not very. I can’t even reach my toes when I do stretches.

What is your favorite class? Any history elective. I also like biology, anthropology, and some aspects of political science.

What is your boyfriend's name? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite drink? Non-alcoholic, cold water. Alcoholic, Long Island Iced Tea for mixed drinks, and tequila.

Who is your best friend? Angela.

What time is it? 11:20 AM.

What is your middle name? My second name is Isabelle, but I’m not sharing my legal middle name.

What 3 websites do you visit daily? YouTube, Google Suite, and Twitter.

Where do you work? At home, haha. But under normal circumstances I’d be working in an office somewhere in Metro Manila.

What is your favorite band? Paramore.

How do you feel about abortion? Personally not a fan of the procedure for myself, but I am as pro-choice as it gets.

Do you want any kids? Very much so.

Have you ever microwaved soap? Nah, but I know what happens to it from watching YouTube videos hahaha. It’s so fun to see it gradually expand and become a pretty lil cloud.

Are there any new movies that you want to see? I Care A Lot, but I feel sooooooooo lazy about watching new movies. Idk if I’ll ever get around to it.

How many places have you lived? I’d say around five in total, including the house I currently reside in. I’ve lived in my parents’ apartment in Manila, then we briefly moved in with my dad’s parents, and then I spent most of my childhood in a duplex living with my mom’s side (and got to live in both houses), until we finally settled here when I was 10.

Do you have any health issues? Yeah, the main one I have to live with is scoliosis.

Are you texting anyone? Nope. And I don’t really text anymore, either. Most of my conversations take place on Messenger or Viber.

What do you drive? A Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Sure, both male and female ones.

Are you drinking or eating anything? Nope but I am starting to feel a bit hungry.

What color is your shirt? Yellow with some grey text.

Do you drink? Like...alcohol? Sure. I have the occasional soju night.

What year do/did you graduate? I graduated high school in 2016, and college in 2020.

Do you play any sports? Table tennis, though it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to play. I got to take it as a PE elective on my last sem, but my time with it got cut off because of COVID :(

Do you pop your fingers? Yeah, I just cracked my knuckles a few minutes ago.

What is your shoe size? I can wear a size 6 or 7.

Have you ever had a UTI? Apparently I’ve had one, but all I got from it was a persisting high fever. I didn’t actually have any difficulties or felt pain in my urinary tract, though of course I felt scared to pee during that time because I thought it would hurt lol.

What was the last thing you baked? Cookies. A lifetime ago, since I don’t normally bake.

When was the last time you showered? Yesterday afternoon when I was finally able to clock out of work.

Would you rather go to the dentist or the doctor? Dentist. I actually find the procedures soothing. There’s a whole lot of issues that can be unpacked when you visit doctors, so I’m kinda scared of that.

Have you ever been in love? Yes. I miss the feeling and being able to act on it, but I’m liking being with myself too.

How do you feel about public speaking? I’m ok with it for the most part. I know I can speak well and generally have a good hold of my thoughts, so I don’t mind if I have to do it unless I have to talk about something I’m greatly unfamiliar with, like insurance or economics lmao. The latter situation is the only time I’d feel unprepared or scared of public speaking.

Do you see anything green? Yeah, since we have artificial plant accents on the coffee table.

What shoes do you usually wear? Sneakers or running shoes.

Do you take any birth control? Nope.

Who is the last person you talked to? My sister; I just asked her to turn the volume down on the TV.

Are there any fast food restaurants that you refuse to eat at? Just Tokyo Tokyo. I can take or leave Burger King but for the most part I find their burgers too plain.

Do you recycle? Whenever I can, yeah.

Do you know what you want to major in in college? I wanted to take up journalism. I suppose I don’t regret it, since I ended up wanting to be in a field that’s close enough to it anyway and I don’t feel like the skills I learned went to waste.

Have you ever snuck anyone in your room? Nah, I always let my mom know if I’m letting someone over since she doesn’t knock and would find out anyway.

Who was the last person in your bed besides you? Gabie.

Have you ever been in the hospital? Other than when I was born, yeah, at least once.

What's the last movie you watched? I watched Midsommar with Nina and some cousins last Christmas lol. We unknowingly downloaded the Director’s Cut, which we found out wasn’t as good as the main version since they added cheesy scenes to it, which ruined the suspenseful mood of the movie.

What's your favorite fruit? Avocado.

What do your bathroom walls look like? The bottom half has coral-ish tiles, while the top half is just a plain white wall. In the downstairs bathroom the setup is the same, but instead of coral tiles we have light blue wall tiles instead on the bottom half.

What do you spend most of your money on? At the moment, most of the money that I do take out of my account is the money I give to my parents every couple of weeks to help out with the bills. The next main thing I spend on is food, because I always have cravings I need satisfied haha.

Do you have any weird obsessions? Reading about serial killers and unsolved crimes isn’t really considered ‘weird’ anymore since a lot of other people have taken up the interest. But that’s probably the most out-there ~obsession that I have.

Do you bite your nails? I do but not obsessively.

What's the last color you dyed your hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair yet.

How do you feel about mustaches? Not my personal preference, but you do you.

Is there anyone that you really want to see in concert? Beyonceeeeeeeeeeeeee.

#survey #surveys

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pikinmin · 3 years ago

Note

hey btw i just thought you might want to know but dw you're not alone, riles has a piss kink too <3 do you guys do a piss pact where you piss into each others mouths to deepen your bond?

@granddecoffee GET HER

#RYE LOG OFF #sarahs asks !#eli doesn’t love pee

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shipping-turtle-12 · 5 years ago

Text

Couple life plus a robot

It was his new routine, every night at 11:00 pm he would get up from his bed to get a glass of warm milk and take a quick pee, then by the time he returned to sleep she would be there, Wraith, she usually borrows (or steals if she gets cold enough) a sweater from his closet and 2 extra blankets to warm herself and lay down curl up as a cat on his bed.

-So, my little fan came to “Elliott’s Cave” once more huh? –

She only groans to him, not wanting to fully wake up but with his loud voice it is almost impossible

-Just come to bed already-

Her tired voice, almost sounding threating, melts his heart every time

-Fine, fine just move a little your personal heater is here to keep you warm in more ways than one, Wink-

-Eat a dick Elliott-

-Not in the mood, got it-

Renee moves from the center of his bed and takes the left side far away from the window, the morning sunshine always get to her face if she doesn’t sleep on the left, with a little chuckle Mirage lift the blankets fast enough so no cold air could bother her, then very carefully he wraps his arms around her torso, she instinctively hugs him back resting her face on his chest, the sound of his beating heart works magickly and in no time she is just snoozing.

By the time the first sunrays hit his face Elliott would get up and go straight to the kitchen and either make or grab some breakfast for him and his lady but ,as usual, it was hard to even move while she hugged him, Renee would just grab him tighter any time he tried to set himself free from her grasp, after 10 minutes of carefully fighting her grip Mirage finally managed to free his right arm, he then grabbed his phone and texted Pathfinder

“Help, stuck in beauty”

It was kind of difficult to write with one arm while also being restrain. He was both turned on and terrified of Wraith’s strength

“On my way best friend”

The happy robot arrived in an instant and saw them tangled, he wanted to laugh but Mirage (with a lot of effort) told him not to make any noise

-What can I do for you bestie? –

-Could you get us some breakfast? I wanted to cook but as you can see, I’m trap in a void-

-Pun and message received, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Do you want coffee? –

-Yes Path, thanks-

With this the fellow robot leave them to make a delicious breakfast for his favorite people. Mirage then notice movement coming from her, she was waking up, a big yawn escaped her, she then buried her face back into his chest to hide from the sun, he just smiles and he gives her forehead a peck

-Hey, did I wake you up? Sorry babe-

-Why did you have to choose the room where the sun hits the worst? –

-Don’t look at me, I wanted the one Octane has but that stupid roulette said otherwise-

-From now on we use my room; it has a better location and the sun won’t murder my eyes like it’s doing it now-

-All fine by me, but we will have to be quieter if we are gonna do… you know, at night, don’t wanna make a scene with ya neighbors-

-It’s way too early for you to be in that mood Eli-

“Pathfinder is here”

And just like the voices said, the couple were interrupted by the chipper robot who had a trail with their breakfast ready for them; he made scramble eggs with bacon for Renee and Waffles with a side of bacon for Elliott

-That smells delicious, thanks Path-

Wraith finally lets her boyfriend go from her iron claw grip to grab her plate and mug full of black coffee, as for Mirage it doesn’t take long for him to start devouring his waffles and coffee (2 sugars and a little bit of milk), Renee used to be concern with how fast Elliott sometimes ate but it seems like he has mastered that art, she would know…

-Wow, just wow, these were amazing-

-I’m happy that you enjoy them, High-five? –

Pathfinder lifted both hands to them and received a double high-five, his screen lighted up with a happy face and a heart

-I love you guys-

#miraith #mirage #wraith #apex #fanfic

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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 years ago

Text

Starcrossed Losers XVIII (Josh Wheeler xReader)

A/N: You should all go listen to “The only podcast left” if you haven’t cause honestly you’re missing out. Also for reasons I like to call: Daybreak was really vague with how many days went by during the events. I’ll just do whatever I want and you won’t even notice the difference.

Words: 2,353

Warnings: None!

Previous chapter // Next chapter

Alex doesn’t ask questions and doesn’t try to stop me. I supposed he gets what’s going through my head, after all, he’s the only person after my sister who actually knew me.

It takes us about forty minutes to pack our things and leave.

Please do not think I’m a piece of shit, I do care about those kids. I do feel like shit for leaving them like this, but seeing how things are, they’ll be safer without me. I can’t risk another group of kids being taken just cause Maya is out for blood.

I’m not leaving them without help, I left my notebook behind, it’s on the pharmacy’s counter, ready to be used. We also left the spare weapons, turns out Alex still had his gun, and I have Katie.

It’s been two hours and we have no idea where we’re going, but we know it’ll take us a while to get there.

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. You know how I said I don’t know shit about tribes? Well, today I found another one.

The AV club.

They’re nice and they have a podcast where they talk about Glendale. Or themselves. To be honest, it’s mostly about themselves but I mean, they have the right to do whatever they want.

I found their podcast on Spotify, can you believe that shit still works? I know, surreal as shit.

Anyway, on their most recent episode -most recent for me, I don’t know exactly when are you reading this- Wesley was their special guest.

I guess he didn’t waste his time, huh.

I love Wesley speeches, I always have. Even when we were in Highschool and he was a dick, I must admit he was pretty good with those.

“We’re cowards,” I hear him say, “we don’t speak out heart, now we hang on to hurt...” How the fuck can he do that? I hate that he’s so good, “I did that with Josh and I got exiled. I did it with Turbo and he threatened to kill Josh and all the kids at the mall! I was a coward.”

I am not a coward.

No, see, the thing is that I’m very good at picking my battles, and there’s no way in hell I would ever win over Sam Dean. I won’t admit it for a long time, but I still like Josh. Pretty much. So instead of staying on this toxic as fuck environment and face public humiliation, I think it’s time to start over again, it was nice while it lasted, best two weeks of my summer, I’m done now.

“Well, not anymore. I have to confront Turbo, it’s the only way. Because if we don’t, we’ll just be... asexual virgins- which, you can be! If you want, no judgement, but I’m guessing... you don’t.”

Yeah I... I don’t have a way to explain what he just said, you just... have to listen to the podcast, I guess.

“No one wants to be exiled, no one wants to be alone, right?”

Oh, fuck off, Wesley. Fuck off.

I take off my earphones and angrily stuffed them back in my pocket.

“Is everything alright?” Alex asks beside me.

“I got tired of listening to music, that’s all,” I lie.

“Okay,” He sighs, then he pulls out Maya’s old map of Glendale, “well, most of the area surrounding the school is jock territory, the pretty side with the mansions is fucked, downtown is packed with Ghoulies... Y/N I don’t want to sound depressing, but I don’t think we have anywhere to go.”

“I’m aware of that,” I take the map, examining our options for the third time that day, “we could go to your place?”

“Why don’t we go to your place?”

“My place is fucked”

“Only the garage is fucked, but what about the second floor?”

“I don’t know,” I try to find exactly where we are, “I guess that we can get there before eight”

Half-way to my place, my nerves take a tool on me.

“Do you think I’m a coward?”

“Are you seriously asking this now?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No, I don’t think you’re a coward just cause you left the mall. I do think it was a dick move to leave without saying anything to the kids though, what are they gonna do now?”

“KJ is a good leader, I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

“KJ is tricky and she won’t last long, as soon as she feels threatened she’ll flee the scene.”

“Listen, I’m not going back, okay? I’ve had enough of all that senseless drama, I have better things to do, like surviving.”

“We were surviving, dumbass. You just want to mix survival with love life and call it a failure altogether so you don’t feel guilty about leaving.”

“Maybe,” I shrug, “either way you could’ve stayed, I didn’t force you.”

“You threw a backpack at my face,” He huffs, “and you’re my best friend, of course I wasn’t going to just let you go after months of not being together.”

“Well then don’t complain,” I insist, “we left the mall and we’re moving. Today we’ll stay at my place, but as soon as the sun comes out we’ll get out of the city. I know the world is a shitty place now, but at least I will get to see a different kind of shitty every day until we find a nice city to settle.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Alex skates faster, leaving me behind. I rush over to reach his side, losing my patience.

“If something is annoying you, just spit it out! You said it before, we better talk things out before they blow up in our face-”

“You’re difficult, Y/N!” He says in exasperation, “Yesterday you loved the mall, you were their healer. Now you don’t want to see it again cause some stupid kids frighten you. And yes, they terrify you, don’t pretend they don’t.”

“Josh is no monster, I’m not afraid-”

“S’not that kind of fear,” He interrupts me, “his feelings intimidate you cause you think you are bound to fail, you keep saying how he wasn’t on your radar when we were in school but I remember the week after you did the school project with Wheeler... You spent every free period taking any opportunity to pass close to his usual hanging spots, you acted like it wasn’t about him, but I knew.”

Shit.

I was planning on telling you guys.

Alright, let’s make things clear, okay? I wasn’t in love with Josh.

Not entirely.

Did I think he was funny and caring? Yes. Did I think he was cute and nice? Also yes. Did I ever daydream about Josh and I suddenly having another group project in our hands that unexpectedly turned into a love story and after a few days we were the cutest couple in school?

Only once.

My point is, don’t even think for a second that the things that happened after the nuke dropped were on purpose. They weren’t, I wasn’t following Josh I swear! I was looking for a place to stay, our encounter and Josh having the answer to my problem were mere coincidence.

Again, I’m not saying this to wash my hands, but stories like this are often created for the readers’ amusement. Of course there would be drama, of course I decided to keep some things to myself. To be fair I didn’t know you! Why would talk with a stranger about my love life?

Anyway, that’s all unimportant now, Josh proved already that he is not ready to start something new.

And I don’t beg.

“And Sam Dean? You don’t want to admit it but I can tell she scares the shit out of you. I don’t know if it’s her social skills or simply because you think she’s prettier than you, I just know you’re gonna do everything in your hands to avoid confrontation with the only girl that can make you pee your pants”

“This is sort of unfair on me right now, not gonna lie,” I scoff.

“I’m only trying to open your eyes,” He shrugs, but I’m no longer listening, “just like you were trying to do with Josh a few hours ago, remember? Trying to convince him that what he was doing was wrong?... Y/N?”

I stop moving a few feet behind, I saw something messily written on the wall of a convenience store and my heart skipped a beat. I slide closer and touch the red letters with adoration.

“I am here...” Alex squints, “you know what’s that about?”

“I know is Josh’s handwriting,” I mumble, “must be from the time he was alone when he was looking for Sam.”

“He wrote her notes all over the city?”

“He told me he used to leave messages like this on places near his house, hoping that Sam would see them,” I look at him with teary eyes, “Look at this! He wrote this everywhere, he looked for her just to apologize in hopes that she would take him back. Six months, Al. I’ve been in his life for two weeks. It’s just like you and Stuart, I know that if I ask, he’s not gonna say my name.”

He looks at the sentence for a few seconds and then shakes his head, turning to face me.

“How many life-changing situations Josh and Sam could’ve possibly been through during their time together?”

“I mean, she was there when Josh got the call about his dad,” I reply, skating away from the store.

“Yeah, look how that turned out,” He moves along, pulling the strap of his backpack.

“She was the first person to welcome him to school?”

“You were the first person to help him get a better grade”

“Sam was his first time.”

“Does it look like I’m still obsessed with my first time?”

“You’re not like Josh.”

“You’re not Sam,” He retorts, “You and Josh really were something else, he knows it, and you know it. But you already decided to give up.”

“I decided I don’t live in a fairytale,” I scoff, “and I won’t allow him to treat me however he wants just cause he’s a tad angry. Let’s just...”

I don’t finish my sentence and keep walking, lost in my thoughts.

Alex and I walk for another fifteen minutes until we reach the school, I’m about to tell him to hurry up in case there are people watching when I come into a halt.

“What-?”

“Shhh!” I push him behind a tree, “Who are they carrying?”

Alex squints his eyes, standing on his tiptoes.

“Is that..?”

“It’s Turbo”

We jump in our place and Alex pulls out his gun, pointing to the stranger... that is no stranger. It’s Eli.

“Why are you always lurking around everywhere I go?” I ask in exasperation.

“The real question is why aren’t you with your boyfriend Josh?” He sneers, “Thought you would be feasting on my food at this point”

“For what kind of sick dictator do you take me for? I didn’t get to decide on your exile, Josh did that on his own. I left the mall soon after”

“Why would you do that, are you stupid?” Eli replies, “You left? The mall is literal heaven, and now that Baron Triumph took over the school-”

“What?”

“He convinced some kids to get him out of the cereal factory and now he dethroned Turbo.”

“Now what?” Alex inquires, “What is he going to do?”

“Nothing good,” Eli shrugs, then he glares at me, pointing a single finger to my chest, “but you’re gonna help me get the mall back. We’ll kick Josh and the rest of the little rats out first thing tomorrow.”

“And how exactly are you going to force me to do that?”

“I don’t have to. If you’re here it’s cause you probably realized that Josh has gone mad and you know this is just for the best.”

Alex and I consider it for a second. Eli is annoyingly right, Josh is out of control and having an identity crisis that won’t help the kids in the mall, but Eli is no leader, he’ll kick everyone out as soon as he touches the front door, so I can’t help him either.

“I think we’ll pass.”

“You’re making a mistake,” Eli warns us, “you’ll die out here and you know it!”

“Better die than to be a bad guy like you.”

“Bad guy?” He asks in outrage, “All my life I had to work and earn my stuff cause mom couldn’t afford it. I was bullied because of it. The mall was the one thing I had that they didn’t and you took it away from me just cause it was one against five, and I’m the bad guy?”

I don’t have an excuse for that, I can’t and I don’t want to fight back. He’s right, he should be living in that mall, Josh had no right to exile him, nor anyone for that matter, none of us has. If I hadn’t exiled Maya maybe things would be different too.

“Come with us.”

“What?”

“Stay the night with me and Alex, we’re going to my place,” I explain to him, handing him the map, “we’ll be safe there, considering we have no idea of what will Triumph do next. We have enough food. Tomorrow we’ll decide if we help you or not, What do you say?”

“How do I know this is not a trap?”

“Do we look like murderer traitors?” Alex rolls his eyes.

“Besides, I still have a sprained wrist. I can’t do much. I mean Alex does have a gun but-”

“Y/N are you sure about this?” Alex asks me, glancing at Eli with distrust, “not to be rude or anything, but Eli is not the ideal companion.”

“Just like us,” I sigh, “Eli?”

He evaluates us carefully, examining our weapons from a distance. Finally, he gives a short nod.

“A night won’t hurt”

“That’s what I said when I met Josh. Look where it got me...”

Taglist.

@letsbloodmagic @slythermyg @loving-u-3000

#twoidiots writing #daybreak fanfic #eli cardashyan #daybreak #josh wheeler #josh wheeler xreader #wesley fists #ms crumble #angelica green #netflix

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