WTA Hunger Games Simulator
We've already had one hunger games, yes, but what about a second hunger games? You heard that right folks, instead of doing my uni work, i've made the executive decision to put the WTA top 24 in Situations. The aforementioned Situations being survival of the fittest in a death trap of an arena. So almost like playing on Rod Laver Arena in the 40 degrees Australian Summer before the retractable roof. So, ladies and gentlemen and other, I present to you your cast:
And away we go!
Day 1
And already, the action is actioning folks. While most people have their flight instinct switched on in a fight or flight situation, Anna Kalinskaya isn't most people. Still not over the Dubai final, she mortally injures Jasmine Paolini, leaving her to die. Ons Jabeur is also killed at the hands of Daria Kasatkina. I guess the power of friendship didn't manage to save them. But wait, there's more. Donna Vekic ruthlessly mows down Carolina Garcia.
Qinwen Zheng, a master Jedi, knows that the only way to victory is through the high ground. Anna Kalinskaya continues her reign of terror, taking out Barbora Krejcikova and Daria Kasatkina with Danielle Collins. Both Iga Swiatek and Coco Gauff already are questioning their sanities, which, mood. Victoria Azarenka, practising archery, may be a threat later on, someone should keep an eye on her. Emma Navarro also gets her first superfan. But by far, the biggest development is Aryna Sabalenka, 3rd seed, has been taken out..... by herself! Yes, she tried to poison Marketa Vondrousova's drink but mistook it for her own. Inconceivable! 6 cannon shots can be heard in the distance. Rip Jasmine Paolini, Ons Jabeur, Caroline Garcia, Barbora Krejcikova, Daria Kasatkina, Aryna Sabalenka.
Night 1
In a great showing of American-Canadian solidarity, Leylah Fernandez and Coco Gauff shelter together. Even though it's night, the action doesn't stop, as Bia Haddad Maia kills Madison Keys, who had been minding her own business till now. Jessica Pegula also doesn't die at the hands of Victoria, who keeps Jessie alive. Anna's reign of terror ends as she and Marta Kostyuk pull a Romeo and Juliet. Sort of. I mean, the both die in the end so it's basically the same. And Donna Vekic is proving to be a cold-hearted killer, strangling Danielle Collins with a rope. Both Barbora and Daria's killers have been killed tonight.
Day 2
Donna Vekic has an injury. But what else is new. Maria Sakkari also sprains her ankle. However, the no. 2 seed, Coco Gauff has also gone out with a bang, with it taking 3 people to kill her. Interestingly, Jess and Victoria, having gone from one keeping the other alive despite begging to be killed to working together. Dream team? And speaking of dream teams, Jelena Ostapenko and Elena Rybakina have put aside their differences and are on the prowl. Everyone watch out! 5 cannon shots can be heard for Madison Keys, Marta Kostyuk, Anna Kalinskaya, Danielle Collins, Coco Gauff.
Night 2
Lots of action tonight, as Victoria and Jess and Leylah are killed by Bia, Liudmila Samsonova and Emma. Dream team over smh. And while we're at it, whilst they worked together during the day, unfortunately, Elena and Jelena couldn't go on like this, with Elena begging for death and Jelena killing her. It was either gonna be this or taken out by her immune system. Rip Rybapenko, you were bigger than the whole sky.
Day 3
And it's time for the feast!
And the no. 1 seed and defending Roland Garros champion, Iga Swiatek is out alongside Marketa Vondrousova! It's just grand slam champion thing, you wouldn't get it. Liudmila has also died, this time due to untreated injuries. And this is why knowing first aid is important kids.
Donna Vekic, in a showing of mercy, spares Emma Navarro's life after beating her, even though Emma is the reason she sprained her ankle the previous day. She's turning into a formidable person to meet in the arena. Could she win it all? More action as Maria Sakkari has also suffered a devastatinig loss to berry bush. Can't a girl just live her life? And it's the most death we've had, with a whopping 7 cannon shots being fired for Victoria Azarenka, Jessica Pegula, Leylah Fernandez, Elena Rybakina, Liudmila Samsonova, Iga Swiatek and Marketa Vondrousova. I can't believe it's only the third day.
Night 3
After sparing her life during the day, Donna convinces Emma to snuggle. Love truly wins. Someone should've cuddled with Maria as well. And Jelena Ostapenko has been given explosives, a terrifying thought for everyone.
Day 4
It's only Day 4 and we've had another double suicide. Yes, Qinwen Zheng and Jelena Ostapenko both die, another tragedy, like uhh Antony and Cleopatra. And in a dramatic twist, after sparing her life and even cuddling together, Emma Navarro has forced Donna Vekic's hand: making her choose to kill either Bia or Maria. Maria has become the victim of this couple's spat. 3 cannon shots can be heard in the distance for Qinwen Zheng, Jelena Ostapenko and Maria Sakkari.
So now, we're down to just 3 tributes. All three underdogs who all have an equal chance at snatching victory. So who's left? Will Emma "daddy's money" Navarro prove to the world that she's the no.1 american nepo baby? Will it be Donna "Last Call" Vekic who will make a timely appearance on the top step? Or will Beatriz Haddad Maia bee the one to lift the trophy? We will find out after the break.
[INSERT AD HERE]
And we're back!
Night 4
Emma has been awoken by nightmares, which could be related to her partner (in crime), Donna, dying while trying to one up the system. A truly Hamlet and Horatio move. Bia just vibing though, starting a fire and roasting s'mores. We're down to Emma and Bia, battle of the North vs South America.
Day 5
Oh my god that was brutal. Emma, channeling her inner Donna Vekic, mercilessly mows down Bia. Honestly, i'm at a loss for words that was remorseless. 2 cannon shots can be heard for Donna Vekic and Beatriz Haddad Maia.
Congrats queen on your second ever totally legit title that definitely counts. Now go out there and slay in real life
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Gabriel Garcia Marquez dancing the Twist with Elena Garro. :: [Mikhail Iossel]
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“He dug so deeply into her sentiments that in search of interest he found love, because by trying to make her love him he ended up falling in love with her. Petra Cotes, for her part, loved him more and more as she felt his love increasing, and that was how in the ripeness of autumn she began to believe once more in the youthful superstition that poverty was the servitude of love. Both looked back then on the wild revelry, the gaudy wealth, and the unbridled fornication as an annoyance and they lamented that it had cost them so much of their lives to find the paradise of shared solitude. Madly in love after so many years of sterile complicity, they enjoyed the miracle of living each other as much at the table as in bed, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out people they kept on blooming like little children and playing together like dogs.”
― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
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