#election day is scary guys
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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#FULL FUCKING EPISODES???#ARE U FR?#FUCK THAT#NOT WATCHING#BYE#DELETING TIKTOK#DELETING INSTAGRAM#SO DISRESPECTFUL HONESTLY#nope#bye#so rude#and to profit off them by selling them?!!#scum of the earth honestly#people put time money and hard work into this season#and u leak it for what??#we waited four years and we can wait another if we have to#didnt need these rn#and they KEEP ON CFOMING#yk what im projecting my stress onto the leaks#election day is scary guys#im stressed#:[
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#us elections#destiel#guy fawkes#what a day#but seriously this is the 2nd scary election i've voted in#i feel like this outcome is more important than the last time the orange one was on the ballot#and it's national love your red hair day and the polling place lady complimented mine so 🤩
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Obviously the main contrasting narrative of the Harris campaign is (rightfully, the ads almost write themselves!) prosecutor vs convict. But I keep thinking about how, in one of her first campaign speeches, she had Biden on the phone and he said something like "I'm here, I love you Kid" and she said "I love you too" and just... That compared to the Jan 6th Mike Pence situation. Like this election is about democracy over fascism but it's also about love and kindness and sincerity on the level of person-to-person relationships.
Well... yeah. As Minnesota governor Tim Walz put it when he was doing the TV rounds for Kamala the other day, the Republicans are just weird people. They are mean, petty, reactionary, focused on revenge and retribution and making people suffer, their rhetoric is about shame and violence and punishment, they are all about Who Your Enemy Is, and their drift into ever more extreme fascist positions is a reflection of that. And strongman/fascist authoritarianism is often popular during moments of chaos and upheaval in the rest of the world, because the unknown feels so scary and people keep falling for the lie that a helpful dictator strongman will turn up and make it all better. It never happens, but it is a powerful lie and it can work for several years at a time, as we have (unfortunately) seen. (And Tim Walz is definitely climbing the list of Old White Guys I Like; supposedly he is on Harris' initial VP shortlist, and while I certainly have favorites of my own, she could very much do worse.)
However, and this is why fascist movements always plant the seeds of their own destruction, this constant garbage spew of hate and vitriol never ever works forever, and usually not even all that long. Because once you spend your time destroying everyone else on your mean stupid crusade of mindless bigotry, you lose friends, you alienate the ordinary people who are more interested in having something to be FOR rather than just constantly against, and eventually you eat your own. And while it will shore up your ever-dwindling cult base, it will not be able to expand beyond the people who are already fully indoctrinated, and it will lose more people than it attracts. As I have said before, one of the key tenets of fascist movements is presenting themselves as powerful, inevitable, and almighty: just surrender to them now before We Crush You (tm) later! But they are not! They are goofy, stupid, mean, and just plain (thanks Gov. Walz) WEIRD! Nobody wants to be those guys!
So yes. With the whole fact of a party where one guy tried to get his first VP killed and now has picked another reactionary loser who is the least popular VP pick in 50 years, and the other is joyfully supporting his VP, a woman of color (after serving loyally to the first Black president, Biden has set the way for the -- knock on wood -- second, and that is also amazing), it's really easy to see the difference, and very clearly, people do. Kamala offers something to rally FOR, and that is always, always more powerful than mindless hate. Sucks to be the GOP. (As usual.)
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Teacher!Natasha x Teacher!Reader Oneshot
For Lesbian Visibility Week! If you enjoyed this, please note and reblog! Feel free to send other prompts or requests! Prompt: The students come into your classroom complaining about Natasha as a teacher not knowing you're her wife. This is version 1. You sighed as you glanced at the digital clock on your computer. Damn. Your planning period was almost over, and you really needed to finish grading these essays. Soon, you would be back to teaching your high school history classes for the day. The period ended far too quickly as students began to file their way into the classroom, discussing this and that. You were so engrossed in your work that you were hardly paying attention until you heard “Ms. Romanoff” mentioned not once, not twice, but in a string of sentences. Oh boy. Ms. Romanoff was one of the more controversial teachers at the school known for her no-nonsense attitude, sternness and sarcasm , but she was also fair with a dry sense of humor. “Why did I take international politics as an elective? Oh, that’s right, I thought it would look good on my transcript!” One student said sarcastically. “She’s so nitpicky! I got an A-. AN A MINUS!” “Hers is the only class I don’t fall asleep in anymore. Not since….last time.” “She’s so strict even the Macklin brothers shut up.” “She’s terrifying. I heard she used to be an undercover agent in the CIA”. You smirked at that one. You should probably look into that rumor. “A spy? Shut-up, man. Who’s going to believe that?” “I heard she was a failed actress.” “I heard she voiced the Russian Siri.” “I heard she’s a rich heiress that lost all her cash.” “Look, guys, I don’t care. She just ripped our class to shreds.I just can’t right now. Nearly the entire class failed her last test. These test corrections are going to take all night.” “At least you’re allowed test corrections! We’re her AP class and the only way we can make up points is through a new essay.” “She’s scary. I swear” “I think she knows what I’m thinking and then that makes me think more and then she thinks what I’m thinking and that thinking makes my head hurt.” “I was ONE minute late to class and she gave me a late slip!” “One time my grandma called me in class, and she made me pick it up.” You shot a quick text to Natasha before the bell rang. Her classroom was two doors down from yours since you two were technically in the same department. Time to log off your grading program and begin class. You pulled out the binder with today’s lesson plans ready to begin. “Wow, you all are full of comments about Ms Romanoff today.” You said neutrally. “Miss Y/N, you don’t understand. She’s so ….uh, extra.” You withheld a smirk. Natasha wasn’t what you would call extra, but she was set in her ways.” “I don’t think she’s extra. I think she just has high standards.” You responded. One of the students rolled their eyes.
"Do you all talk about me like this when I'm not here?"
"Nooo Ms. Y/N, we would never!"
"Well, maybe you could extend the same courtesy to my wife next time," you said, withholding a laugh. The room fell silent. A pin could have dropped.
“Fuck” you heard someone say under their breath. “Language”, you chastised, but you couldn’t say you blamed them. You saw the students in various forms of awkward shuffling, a cough here or there or “Ummm” or “Uhh” as students tried to form sentences. “Wait, you’re married?” a student questioned before being glared at by the others. Your fourth period class was near silent for the rest of the period, with the students seemingly still in shock. One minute til the bell rang. You saw a flash of red hair out of the corner of your eye. Thirty seconds. Natasha knocked on the door. “Hey, you, we’re all ordering from Robert’s Deli for lunch. You want your usual or will you finally try something new?” Natasha teased. The class whipped their heads collectively towards the door. It was becoming harder not to laugh. Natasha narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on, Y/n?” “Oh, you’re scaring my class, dear!” You said, smiling widely. Natasha scoffed. “Dear, huh? Oh, so they found out, didn’t they? As if us entering the building together and leaving together in the same car wasn’t hint enough that we’re married. Yeah, I might have scared a few of them. It was well deserved, trust me, Isn’t that right, Reynolds?” Jason Reynolds sank down into his seat, not meeting Natasha’s eyes. The bell rang. The students couldn’t scramble enough as they grabbed their bags and rushed past Natasha. You gave a small laugh as you finally met Natasha. “You’re a mean woman, you know that?” “Hey, you texted me, babe.” “It was great, not gonna lie. Sorry the “secret��� is out.” “It’s not like we’re closeted, we’re simply professional. I’m surprised they didn’t figure it out sooner….or maybe I’m not.” Natasha muttered. Your stomach growled. “Alright, I’ll look up the menu. Find something new to try for once. Promise.” You said in response to your stomach. Natasha nodded. “Don’t want you to scare the next class because you’re hungry.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanov#natasha romonova#black widow#natasha x reader#black widow x reader#black widow x female reader#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you
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stars and stripes
ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: nipple play, novelty underwear, balls, anxiety, democracy, the pledge of allegiance, friendly brotherly contest, alcohol, prelude to oral sex (m! receiving) word count: 5k summary: Roles are reversed this Fourth of July when you surprise Joel with a little festive treat of your own.
A/N: happy 4th of July to folks in the US and happy general election day to my fellow UK pals! If you haven't exercised your right to vote yet, and you're registered, you have until 10pm BST tonight to get to your polling station - as long as you're in line by 10pm, you'll be able to vote. do dress up Joel proud, and go do a democracy.
I make absolutely no apologies for anything in this fic. not a single thing. especially not that thing. tis the season. happy ballidays, pals!
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As it turned out, Joel knew a guy who knew a guy who could fix your AC, and within two days your house was a safe haven from the burgeoning Texas summer.
Easy as that, apparently. Your desperate attempts to call around HVAC companies the week your AC busted seemed stupid now that it was all a matter of simply knowing a guy.
Not that it was all easy. Letting someone else into your house after everything that had gone on suddenly felt scary, and it took Joel promising you he'd dip from his own job for the afternoon to keep an eye on things for you to feel okay with any of it.
But, even that left an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach.
You'd told him to let himself in, though this time you'd given him a key, and that felt like something. For as many times as he'd broken in, and for as long as you'd left your house open and vulnerable - and, by extension, yourself - handing over your spare keys to Joel for the day felt more vulnerable than you'd ever felt with him wandering your house at unknown hours of the day and night.
It felt like something all over again when you handed them over to him the next week too - there was a jammed drawer he wanted to fix, and he said he could get in to see to it before work one day.
Even when you opened the door to him on the nights he didn't have Sarah - his daughter, you'd learned - it felt like something. Especially knowing that that spare key now sat attached to his own, jingling in his pocket each time he walked into your home, invited.
And the more somethings it felt like, the less you felt like figuring it out.
It continued the same way for weeks. Him moving back and forth the short distance between his home and yours, while you stayed safely cocooned in your own, cool, four walls.
Then, barely one month into this officially unofficial something that you were, it was finally time for you to make that short journey down the street to Joel's.
Being honest, the thought of it had terrified you, and you'd almost backed out multiple times.
Not because it was Joel, or Joel's house - at least, that's what you told yourself - but because a "the whole neighborhood is invited, bring snacks or beer" type of Fourth of July party wasn't the kind of way you'd envisioned your first time in Joel's home. You figured maybe it'd be dinner, or a movie, or a quick fuck against the stairs with Joel's balls trussed up in something. Normal things.
Not loud peopley things.
Still, you readjust your top once more, take the briefest of glances in the mirror, and head out the door anyway, nerves be damned. You can totally handle a Fourth of July BBQ at Joel's house.
You think you can all the way up to Joel's driveway, when the nerves come back with a vengeance and you stand there, feeling sick, listening to the sounds of people and music coming from the backyard.
You try to tell yourself it all makes sense. It's a new place, a place that should mean so much because it's his, but try as you might you can't fight back the panic rising as you think of the very many faces that are going to be in this new place too. Familiar faces, faces you'd seen most days as you went about your life down this street you called home, people you'd shared small talk with and said good morning to almost every day as you left for work.
Then there's this stupid outfit you're wearing. The you from weeks ago chose it the very same day you said yes to Joel's invitation, and the you of today didn't have the energy or inclination to think of anything else. Wear whatever, Joel had said, it's just a casual thing. So, you'd gone for casual.
Braless is casual, right?
Not that that was a specific choice, more a necessity. You'd chucked the third bra on the floor in a huff, cursing your shitty outfit choice and lack of bra to fit it, and instead decided to stick on some nipple pasties and be done with it.
All that's done now, and now here you are, still standing like an idiot in the driveway, closer to Joel's home than you have ever been, psyching yourself up to go inside.
With a deep breath of the dry Texas heat, you head for the open back gate, the soft sound of your shoes on the paving stones so loud in your ears as everything wooshes and fizzes in your head.
It's somehow both better and worse than your expectations.
You're immediately greeted by a sea of recognizable faces, the bottle of wine you forgot you were even holding whisked out of your hand and taken inside before you can even get your first round of hello's in. You don't have much of a chance to be nervous, or self conscious, or any of the things you'd worried about being in the days leading up to being here, because there's just so much of everything around you. Noises, smells, people.
Everything, except for Joel. You've not caught a single look at him since you got here - minutes ago - and you wonder if he's even here and not relaxing back at your place on the couch.
Then you see him. At least, you think it's him. His back is to you, locked into conversation so fierce he hasn't noticed the commotion about your entrance.
You think it's him, but you're also certain you don't know of anyone else who would dress head to toe in red, white, and blue candy stripes. The sight of it makes you forget your own outfit worries as a grin forms on your face, and that familiar rumbling of something in the pit of your stomach comes back all over again.
"Not eyein' the very slightly younger model, are you?" comes a gruff voice that has you twisting rapidly on the spot, the smile barely given chance to fall from your face when you spot the actual, real life Joel standing right there next to you, cold beer in hand.
In your own defence, real life Joel isn't dressed much better than the other Joel stood over the other side of the yard. He's probably dressed worse, actually. He's head to toe in stars, all the way from the novelty headband on his head to the flashing star lights clipped to his shoes. It's gaudy, and camp, and so perfectly Joel that the smile that dipped from your face for all of half a second is back, and you're grinning up at him, that feeling in your belly violently boiling away now that he's right there.
"Oh, him?" you say with a wave of your hand. "Nah. He's like a dollar store version of you."
"Really? I'll be sure to tell Tommy he's Dollar Store Joel from now on. He'll love that. Hey, Tommy!" he calls over the yard, before slipping his free hand behind your back. "C'mon. Let me introduce y'all."
He guides you over, hand never leaving the small of your back, touching you out here in front of all these people as if you are actually officially the kind of something that everyone should know about. And maybe you are.
But then, you're looking into familiar friendly eyes, so similar to the ones you've been staring into and dreaming of since Christmas, and watching this familiar strangers face light up so brightly you briefly wonder if his joy is misplaced until he's wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.
"Shit, he weren't lying," says Tommy as he rocks on his feet with you in his arms before releasing and looking down at you. "You are real."
Before Joel can land a firm whack to Tommy's shoulder, Tommy's pulling you in for another hug, telling you how nice it is to finally meet you, because he's heard all about you, dropping in a few choice words about his asshole brother here and there as he chatters to you, and Joel, and even himself.
At some point, whether it's during the fourth hug or the eighteenth, you're not sure, Joel slips off to grab you a drink, leaving you with his bizarrely dressed brother.
"Ain't never seen him smile so much without Sarah around," he says, the moment Joel's out of earshot, giving you a nudge and another fond smile. "Y'know, I think he might like you."
"Mm, I think I might like him too."
Small talk with Tommy is easy - the man's a talker, if you ever met one. He's a charmer too, and if you met him in a bar you might think he'd be coming on to you with the way he so attentively talks to you, only directing his attention elsewhere for the briefest of moments.
"What's with the outfits?" you eventually ask, with a flick to his striped top hat. "Joel never said it was a dress up party."
"Oh it ain't, this is just a family tradition. Dad always used to dress up in dumb shit for the holidays, make us laugh, and it just sorta stuck. 'Course, added in some friendly competition over the years too, and then this," he says with a dramatic sweep down his body, "was born."
"Competition?"
"Mhm. Joel'll tell you, won't you brother?" Tommy says with a wink over your head before ducking sideways to raid the snack table.
"What am I s'posed to tell you?" he says, handing you your drink, letting his fingers linger near yours and stroke a trail of burning heat gently up your arm before falling back to his pocket.
"The competition."
"S'easy. Stars or stripes," Joel points to himself, decked out in stars and then to his brother where he stands loudly chatting to yet more guests in his candy stripes. "You gotta pick. Most votes, wins."
"I've got to pick?"
"'s the rules, darlin'."
"So you want me to pick between you, or some costumed guy I don't know - a practical stranger?" you say, with a glint in your eye, watching Joel's face drop in faux offence.
"You wouldn't."
"Don't underestimate me, Joel. I think you know exactly what I'm capable of."
Your eyes meet in a silent stalemate, the glint in your eye never leaving as Joel bites at his cheek to hold back a laugh. Tommy was right - you do like Joel, some days too much, and moments like right now, you think maybe it's reciprocated, and you like him just the right amount.
Poking him in the chest, finger pressed to the middle of one of the sea of stars decorating his body, you let yourself break first. "Stars, Joel. I pick stars."
With a roll of his eyes, and a kiss pressed lightning quick to the side of your head, Joel's hand winds back around your back.
"Thank fuck for that. Let's get you a votin' card so you can make that official."
⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆
As the evening draws on, you think you've talked to just about everyone in your street several times over, and then some. It also turns out that Joel and Tommy take their little competition very seriously, and always have, if your neighbors are to be believed.
By the time the votes have been counted and Joel in his star spangled outfit is declared the winner, Tommy has sunk to his knees, his hat toppled off in his despair as he hangs his head in shame.
You're still listening to them bicker as you sneak off to use the bathroom, their voices only disappearing when you've slid the patio door shut and taken your first official step into Joel's house.
"The headband swung it."
"The headband is Sarah's, and your massive skull is breakin' it..."
Even through the mess of the party, you can see that this place is distinctly Joel, with hints of a 10 year old girl dotted around the place. From the pictures on the wall to the cushions on the sofa - mostly a rich navy, but one soft pink nestled in with the blue - through to small ornamental carvings on a side table and the drawings stuck on the refrigerator.
You're looking at one - not a masterpiece by any means, but very decent attempt at a bluebonnet - when the pressure inside the house changes again with the slide of the door.
It's Joel, arms laden with bottles, and the headband flopping forward pathetically on his head. "You snuck off quick," he says, dumping the bottles onto the counter. "Get lost findin' the bathroom?"
"Distracted. Never had chance to sneak around your house looking at your shit before," you quip with a smile, trying to get comfortable with the very uncomfortable thing that brought you two together in the first place.
"Then shoes off. Lemme take you upstairs, give you a little tour, and you can use the bathroom up there. Probably in a better state than the one down here now anyway."
He holds your hand in his all the way up the stairs. That something rears its head again, igniting your palm where it meets his, your brain not registering a single word he says as he points to various doors before dragging you through one, into his bedroom.
His lips are on yours immediately - or yours are on his. You can't quite work out who started it, you just know that you're a tangle as your hands roam each other, biting and licking kisses into each others mouths. His hand finds your ass, and you're moaning as he presses you forward, into him, and the soft lump in his pants. You want to grind yourself against him, but the angle isn't right, and a nagging forgotten thing is worming through your brain when Joel pushes your bodies together once more.
Oh. Right. You remember now.
"Joel - mmph - Joel," you say with urgency through his kisses. He pulls back, searching your face with panic and a pinched brow. "I really gotta pee."
With a kiss to your forehead he lets you go, pushing you toward his ensuite. When you exit a few minutes later, he's exactly where you left him, stood with his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish as he possibly ever could.
"I'm glad you came," he says, looking at you and setting that something off roaring through your body again.
"Me too. I... I've had a nice time."
"Just wanted you to know I didn't invite you here just for, y'know," he says, with a gesture to his bed. "Didn't bring you in here for it either. Just, sorta missed you. Not used to not bein' alone with you. It's weird sharin' you."
You don't want to remind him you've barely left each others sides all night. You don't want to draw too much attention to the something, just in case you scare it away.
"Damn. Got nothing for me? Nothing at all?" you joke instead.
"Got nothin'. Nothin' planned anyway," he says with a look around the room, his eyes focussing briefly on a drawer before flicking back to you.
Really, you should be leaving space between you and Joel. Space for the something to flourish, space that is just enough to not magnetize your body to his, smashing yourselves together and turning the nothing into something. What you should do doesn't have the power to stop your feet from slowly pulling you toward him again though. And it doesn't stop you from putting both your hands on his chest when you finally reach him.
"No? Got no magic tricks up your sleeve? I was hoping for a wand or a rabbit or somethin', you do look like you ran away from the circus."
"I'll have you know this shirt is the finest polyester you can find at Party City."
"Mm, sounds sweaty."
"Like you wouldn't believe."
"So you're sweaty and gross, and you have nothing to wow me with? I'm starting to wonder why you invited me." Which is a lie. You know why, and so does he, and you're glad for it, even if it still frightens you to think about it too much. You suspect he knows an awful lot more about you than you've told him. He's perceptive like that.
"Maybe I'm retractin' your invite."
"You wouldn't."
"No?"
"What if I've got a little something for you instead, am I still invited now?"
Joel's eyes light up and soften all at once, turning so bright and sparkling you think he might cry. It's not exactly that you've never done anything for him in the ways he has for you. When he mentioned his favorite snack, you got some in the house for nights you spend watching a movie before devolving into fucking on the floor. You bought new lingerie, which only ever stayed on if it was too difficult to get out of, and once or twice he'd caught you wearing the heart shaped butt plug before leaping on you and pounding you into whatever surface was nearest, thumb pressing down on the base and making you see stars.
Still, for all you had done, you never swapped positions in the little game you'd been playing with each other for over seven months. Each time, he was the one who came to you with some silly thing or trick or toy to tease you with, and each time you loved it. You hoped he would love this too.
"You do?"
"Mhm," you say as you put some distance between the two of you again. Space to breath, space to move, space to let the something calm back down into the pit of your stomach and curl in on itself like a cat settling down to sleep.
Your let your fingers glide up your body, gently pulling your skirt for a moment before they coast up your belly and reach your shirt, flirting with the hem before curling around it and tugging, letting your tits jiggle behind the fabric.
With a final soft tug, you peel the fabric up your body, the swell of your breasts spilling out the bottom of your top.
"Holy shit, baby," he says, a whisper of a moan on his lips. His eyes have been glued to you, wide and curious, ever since you suggested you may have something for him. And now, they're darting from your chest to your face then back down, taking in the sight of your covered nipples.
You had made some choices earlier today, in your nervous state. Going braless was only one of them. The pasties too, were another. And then, there was the shape. You has flowers, hearts, circles, straight tape and, finally, stars. It was a no brainer when you'd rifled through the packet for two that matched that white stars were the perfect choice for today. It'd only really occured to you when Joel had worn his own stars, that you were perhaps better matched today than you thought, that maybe you could have your own little game with him for once.
"Told you I was all in on the stars."
"Damn right you are," he says as he approaches, his hands finding their place on your waist, itching to move upward. "They don't hurt?"
"They're just pasties, Joel. They're soft. Feel."
And fuck, does he feel. His hands cup you, gently squeezing the softest part of your breast before letting his thumbs dance across where the pucker of your nipple should be. The sensation is muted, infuriatingly muffled by the feel of the pasties covering you.
"S'good?"
"Imagine I stroked your dick over your pants. It's good but it's not the same."
"Damn," he curses, thumbs still gently rubbing over your nipples, watching them slowly come to life and prickling beneath the coverings. "They come off easy?"
"Like a bandaid."
"Shit."
And you just know what he's thinking, because you're thinking it too. There's no real way you can take them off right now and let Joel have his way with your nipples like you're both desperate for, even if time and the swathe of people downstairs wasn't an issue. You have nothing else to cover up with and the soft breeze combined with the cold drinks and the age of some of the guests here means it's probably not a good idea to go without them.
That doesn't stop Joel from kissing you again though, more restrained than he has any right to be with your tits in his hands. You know from his frustrated groan when you bite at his bottom lip that he's two seconds away from telling everyone the parties over, only to come back up here and continue with a party for just two.
To your surprises, he pulls your top back down. Not before kissing one breast, then the other, then back to the first. You know he wants to sink his face into them, but he doesn't let himself, and he rises from his crouch with a groan and pulls you out of the room.
"Don't show Tommy," Joel whispers to you as you make your way back down the stairs. "He'll say the contest was rigged."
"Damn, I was so hoping to show your brother my nipples."
⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆
Joel's eyes keep flicking to your chest for the rest of the night. More than once he drags you away inside, either upstairs or into the garage, just to ask you to show him one more time. If you weren't covered, your nipples would have been rubbed and pinched raw by his eager fingers by now, just as your lips were swollen by his eager mouth.
By the time it's all over, you're positively exhausted, propping yourself up on the arm of a chair and talking to Tommy as Joel waves off the last of the guests and closes the back gate.
You had barely left his side all night, and if anyone had anything to say about it, you hadn't heard it. Neither had Joel. And Tommy, a clever man when he wanted to be, hadn't made a single joke about it either. All in all, it was as much of a successful day than you could hope for, initial nerves aside.
Tommy, continuing to be a clever man, doesn't put up much of a fight when you offer to be the one to stay behind and help clear up. Of course, he's already gone around and collected most of the trash, and put the leftover food inside, but he relents at your insistence he head home - you do only live down the street after all.
Neither you or Joel get much further with the cleaning. Once trash bags are dumped in the garage and you've both washed up, his hands are back under your top, damp fingers cupping your breasts and pulling you back into him.
"Stay?" he asks, as if there was any other ending to this night, as if Tommy hadn't left precisely for this reason.
You barely agree by the time his mouth is latched onto your neck, drawing unrestrained moans out of you right there in the kitchen now that you're finally alone.
His hands, of course, find their way back up to your top, stroking over the edge of the pasties once more.
"You really like 'em, huh?" you ask as his thumb brushes the edge of one, starting to curl and pull the point of one of the stars.
"Like that we match. Feel like you picked 'em for me," he mumbles into your neck, releasing one breast and tucking his hand into the waistband of your skirt. "Like that I've had somethin' to think about, somethin' to play with, even with all these people here."
Fuck, if you haven't liked that too. Letting him play had been one of the highlights of your night so far. Being manhandled into the garage, giggling and pushing Joel as he clasped his hands together in a plea to please see your tits. The souvenir love bite you'd let him suck into your left breast after dragging you back upstairs for a second time. You'd spent half the night flipping between Joels hands and mouth on your tits, to being dragged back out to socialize. Your pussy had given up trying to regulate itself after the third session of Joel's teasing, and you'd spent the rest of the evening wet and waiting.
This is a fact he finds out now, as he slides his hand down over your mound to cup you over your panties. You both let out the same curse as he presses and wiggles his fingers back and forth over you, rubbing your clit over your underwear. You had hoped to peel the pasties off before you fucked him, giving him full access to your nipples for the first time tonight, but you don't think you're going to make it that far, not now his hand is pulling your panties aside, feeling for the slick wetness between your lips and dragging it up, up, up to swirl around your clit.
Not a second later you're scaling the stairs for what you know will be the final time that day, this time you dragging Joel as you both kick of your shoes and stumble up the steps. You already ache from all the standing, and if you have it your way, your legs are going to be shaking and trembling too much for the rest of the night to possibly be of use to you.
With his door pushed open, left wide now the house is empty, you pull yourself back into him, only for him to slip his still wet finger between your lips, letting you taste yourself before he captures your mouth, licking your taste from your own tongue.
Then, your hands find his chest, that ridiculous shirt, and pull at it, tugging the fabric taught to his body, eager to get it off and tumble into his sheets with him.
You were right about how sweaty he'd be under the shirt when you finally get your fingers on the buttons, working your way down until you can pull it off. He's shining underneath it, the dark hair of his body slicked down as you drag your hands up over his chest, to his shoulders and then down to his belt.
He suddenly stops you, pulling your hands away, pressing kiss after kiss to your mouth as he fumbles with the buckle. In a huff, after a few failed, distracted, attempts, he pushes you away and pulls off his belt before unzipping his pants.
Joel has barely tugged them down his legs when you're staring wide eyed, howling with laughter, staring directly at his cock. Only, this time, it stares back.
At least, the bald eagle on the front of his boxers does.
"What are those?"
"Nothin'," Joel says, covering himself and trying to tug his boxers over his erection with one hand still trying to pull off his pants. Grabbing his hands, you stop him, pleading as you tug them away from his crotch.
"Show me."
"Look, s'nothin. Just another stupid thing Tommy got me and I thought it'd be funny but..."
"Sure looks like you got somethin' there for me. All this time you were sayin nothin'. Don't tell me you're getting shy on me now. C'mon. Please."
You pout, trying desperately to get him to give in when you have an idea and you're tugging your top off over your head and throwing it to the side, brandishing your star covered nipples to him once more.
"Pretty please," you say with a small shimmy, and Joel's hand immediately falls away, coming up instead to cover his eyes with a sigh.
It's a sight to behold. Really, it is. The eagle is staring back at you once again, still bolstered by Joel's solid length and the heft of his balls behind it. What you hadn't noticed before is it's sitting on a canvas of United States flag, stars and stripes covering his thighs, his hips, his ass.
"Oh wow. Joel those are -" you cough out a laugh "- those are amazing."
He's rolling his eyes. You can hear it in his voice and see it in his posture. "Yeah, real funny, I know."
"No, I like them. Very festive. And y'know what," you say, cupping his cock right over the eagle print of his boxers as you clear your throat. "I pledge allegiance -"
"No, don't you d-"
"- to these balls -"
"Stop."
"- and the cock they sit under -"
"Oh my god," he says, fighting through a laugh, your fingers squeezing and massaging as you pledge yourself, whole heartedly, to the appendage in your hand.
" - one - uh, cock and balls? Is there even a collective word for cock and balls? - under Joel -"
"It's just gettin' worse."
"- definitely indivisible, no divisible balls here - "
"You're killin' me."
"- say it with me now - with liberty and justice for balls."
You try to keep a straight face as you finish. Really you do. But as Joel's whole body shakes and ripples, his balls jiggling in your hand as laughter wracks through him, you can't help but fall into him, letting yourself be propped up by him as you crumple in on yourself in delight.
"You callin' my balls Liberty and Justice now?" Joel finally says through a laugh.
You slide a finger up the leg of his boxers, pulling gently on them as you stare down at the flag adorning his ass and balls.
"Yep. You're Star Spangled Joel with your side kicks, Liberty and Justice."
You give his balls a little squeeze again as you name them.
"Now that you pledged your allegiance, you gonna keep yappin' or you gonna prove it?"
But it's too late, because you're already sinking to your knees, right there in his bedroom, a place you both know you're going to wake up in the morning, wrapped in each other as the sunlight peeks through the curtains.
"Just try to stop me."
next part
taglist: @jupiter-soups @wannab-urs @bean-is-reading @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog
@youandmeand5bucks-blog @bbyanarchist @vickywallace @kamcrazy123
@valkyreally @ashhlsstuff @a-literal-goblin @ariundercovers @iluvurfather
@stevie75 @toxicanonymity @thesevi0lentdelights @sp00kymulderr @joelsdagger
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#pedro pascal characters#coveted fics#big bawl jawl#never forget the balls#fic: dress up joel
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Imagine meeting Rob Lucci again on Egghead Island
Warning: Contains spoilers! If you aren't caught up in the Egghead arc and don't want spoilers, don't read.
Rob: [tied up and unconscious on the floor of Vegapunk's lab]
You: [glaring at him from the other side of the room]
Stussy: Oh my, that's quite a scary look. It's almost like you know him.
You: I do know him, or at least I thought I did... A little over two years ago I lived on Water 7 where I worked for an engineering firm, and had a life, and a boyfriend.
Stussy: {looks shocked and points at Rob] Was he your boyfriend?
You: Yup, but I got transferred here shortly before he tried to kill Iceberg, who is my adoptive father. We used to exchange letters, and then one day they just stopped, and then three weeks later I got a letter from Iceberg that explained everything.
Stussy: That must have come as quite a shock.
Kaku: [wakes up] what the? [looks around, before cringing away when he notices you] oh dear.
You: [glares] Is that all you have to say to me?
Kaku: Listen, it was just a job, it wasn't personal.
You: Really? Because trying to murder members of my family feels really personal to me, buddy.
Kaku: [Nods to Robin] Technically, she shot Iceberg.
Robin: I shot him the first time, and I didn't feel I had another choice because you were threatening my friends and I didn't know what to do.
You: The second time was Blueno, and then you and Rob beat Paulie, and then left both Iceburg and Paulie tied up inside a burning building!
Kaku: we did do that, didn't we...
You: not to mention Rob played with my feelings by pretending to be a loving boyfriend.
Kaku: I swear that wasn't pretended Lucci really does love~
Rob: That's enough, Kaku.
You: You can talk! Why am I surprised, everything was a lie, wasn't it?
Rob: .... not everything [looks up at you, clearly pouting that he's being admonished]
You: I don't believe you.
Rob: ... can we discuss this in private, please?
You: no, we can't, I do not want to be alone with the World Noble's attack dog.
Rob: I'm a cat.
You: Excuse me?
Rob: I am a Zoan-type devil fruit user, the Neko Neko no Mi, Model: Leopard, specifically.
You: I don't care, because then you're just plain bad at being a cat.
Rob: Bad at being a cat!
You: yes, because if you knew a damn thing about cats, then you'd know you don't ever actually own a cat, you just live with one. They don't listen, they don't obey, and they most certainly don't respect you. So, I suppose, you were good at being a cat when it came to me, but bad when it comes to the world nobles.
Rob: That's not true...
You: save it, I don't want to hear your excuses.
Rob: [Takes a deep breath] They're not excuses, it's true I got close to you in the first place because of Iceberg, but I grew genuine feelings for you once I got to know you. I know I hurt you, it's why I stopped writing you after what happened in Water 7.
Nami: And because his ego was bruised because our captain whooped his ass.
Kaku: He was also in a coma for like a week afterward.
Rob: I figured by then you would have already had word from Water 7 of what happened, so I didn't want to rub salt into the wounds by trying to stay in your life, and that a clean cut was best for you.
You: [remembering that Iceberg had said he wouldn't be upset with you if you elected to stay with Rob] ... Where is Hattori?
Rob: what?
You: Where is Hattori?
Rob: He flew away when Stussy attacked.
You: I'll go get him...
Rob: [smirks[ thank you, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you again. Although he might not recognize you, you've glowed up since your Water 7 days. [winks]
You: [rolls your eyes] I know single life suits me, so save your smooth talk tough guy, it doesn't work on me [lying].
Rob: uh huh
You: [feels your cheeks heat up as your heart flutters, and you avoid eye contact with Lucci] Whatever, I'll go look for your bloody bird.
Rob: [eagerly watches the door slide shut behind you] It's still there
Stussy: What's still there?
Rob: I believe most people call it, "a spark between us'.
Nami: [dramatically gags]
Kaku: Dude, they always liked Hattori more than you, don't go getting a head of yourself.
Rob: [kicks him] zip it.
Stussy: [sighs] men are so stupid.
Robin: [nods in agreement]
Shaka: [judges in silence]
List of Up-and-coming works || Master list || Twitter| Kofi || Patreon
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece imagine#rob lucci#rob lucci x reader#nico robin#nami#cat burglar nami#stussy#egghead#shaka#vegapunk#one piece spoilers#kaku#egghead spoilers#water 7#from the depths of the dragon's hoard#tma original#no beta we die like men#6/8/24
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I could wax poetic about Wind Breaker all day (don't threaten me with a good time!) but today I'm thinking about another way it breaks shonen tropes.
So in the first episode, we meet this angry little guy Sakura, who seems like your typical delinquent with a heart of gold.
He can fight and will beat the shit out of people, but he'll save a girl from creeps. Typical shonen stuff.
Then we see him get embarrassed when people thank him for helping them. This guy has trouble with his emotions, but instead of expressing that through anger like most shonen protag-kuns, he blushes! He is allowed to have soft emotions like embarrassment and isn't shamed for it.
Then we hear about Furin, this super scary high school for bad kids. Sakura walks into the classroom, and you think he will have to fight everyone (and that's what he thinks too!), and the only way he'll make friends is to defeat them first and then add them to his posse. Instead, the boys in class immediately love him (except for Sugi). They instantly support him, and even elect him class rep later.
So this punk guy makes friends, not by fighting, but because they genuinely like him as a person. He doesn't understand emotions, but through the series he starts to learn and grow, and it's a huge part of his character arc.
The boys in Wind Breaker are allowed and even encouraged to have emotions, something most shonens have no idea how to handle. And that's not even talking about Ume's therapy-no-jitsu... The two big 'villains' of the first season turn out to have depression which in some ways fueled the conflict, and the way the conflict is resolved is through recognizing and processing emotions.
Wind Breaker is just so good, you guys.
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A message to my American brothers and sisters whose candidate lost this election:
Firstly, I am neither American nor did I vote for your election so do take what I say with a grain of salt.
I’m writing to you guys because I know how you feel. I’ve been there.
During the 2020 Presidential election of the Philippines, I too supported a movement. Not a candidate—a movement. A female presidential candidate who raised hope, became a champion for marginalized communities whose only goal was to create opportunities to shift my country away from the vitriol that came from a previous president who strong armed my country into a bloody war on drugs that saw the death of thousands of poor people.
And like you, I lost.
With the spread of misinformation and lies, my country elected the son of a dictator who proved himself to be the ineffective, incompetent and dishonest leader we all secretly hoped he wouldn’t be.
Our hopes dimmed.
Tears were shed.
Resentment flowered in us like a storm.
It was difficult to swallow the results of an election that had so much at stake. You see, like your President-elect, our current President spent millions of pesos contesting a fair election that saw him losing out to the vice presidential position during the previous election.
Through bullying and intimidation, he sought to undermine a fair election that took him out of power.
And like your current President-elect, he still managed to win at the end.
It would have been easier to accept the results had it not been for the mocking of 31 million Filipinos who voted our current president into office.
We all heard them tell us, “You’re crying over an election? You need better things to worry about.”
I want you to know that it’s okay to cry.
Your frustrations and disappointment are valid.
It is rare to find a candidate you’re able to place so much hope in and to have that hope dashed away is a bitter pill that is difficult to swallow.
I know, you’re probably tired of hearing it.
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Accept it and move on.”
“It is what it is.”
“There’s nothing more to do.”
It’s okay. I’m tired of it too.
I know you’re probably scared and angry and so, so, so tired. Two years after our election and I am still all of these things.
I still think about the what if, the what could have beens. I think a lot about how better off we would have been if the right person won.
I want you to know that it’s okay. It’s okay to mourn those things.
You did your part. You voted and you campaigned and you fought hard. Sometimes, we just lose.
If there’s any advice I can impart, it’s that I hope you take your frustration, your sadness, you exhaustion, your anger, and turn it into righteous fury.
Take that fury and do something with it.
Because the movement cannot stop here. The moment we stop fighting, they win.
To lose hope means victory for the other side.
I get it. It’s easier to get mad at the people who voted for him. It’s even easier to spew the same vitriolic hate towards them when they start complaining about how things don’t change and how your country is worse off but theirs is the vote that put a wannabe-dictator in power.
Don’t do it.
Because that divide is precisely why they keep winning. It’s the same divide they sowed into my country and we are still struggling to fight that division everyday.
Losing this election is a step backwards but losing hope would be another step back.
Even to this day, my presidential candidate continues to inspire hope for change in my country.
I know yours will too.
It’s not the end.
I need you to remember to breathe.
Breathe in the hope you desperately fought for;
breathe through the hurt of the loss;
and breathe out the fear they so badly want you to feel.
The road is long and it’s scary.
But there’s about 50 or so million other people on that road with you. You might not be the majority but even David was small when he killed Goliath.
Cause if you voted for Kamala Harris, you already know you have the courage and righteous fury to fight for change and you cannot give up now that you’re so close.
You lost the battle but it’s not the end of the war.
So tonight, grieve. Cry. Hug your friends and family who are right there with you. Be sad and mourn the loss of what could have been.
Because tomorrow, when you wake, you will continue fighting for change.
Because no one else will.
#election 2024#us elections#kamala harris#kamala 2024#vote harris walz#harris walz 2024#tim walz#vote democrat#vote blue#blue
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Philza Minecraft is a survivalist.
Everyone knows this. He's the "Hardcore guy." He's an expert in the inner-workings of the natural world. He's vigilant. He knows how to hold his own in a fight, and he knows when to cut his losses, too. He knows how to keep himself alive. By extension, he knows how to keep his team alive as well. It only makes sense that they elect him as the leader of red team.
Philza Minecraft is a team player.
This is why he's always happy to go grinding for materials when the team needs it. Even if he tends to get a little distracted sometimes, wandering too far, forgetting to check global chat or talk in the team vc, he checks in with his friends and does what he can to keep morale up when everyone is feeling down. He recognizes the ease with which Cellbit operates in this environment, so he lets the man call some of the shots, or give Phil instructions. After all, Cellbit led the Ordo for months. Phil trusts his judgement. Why not play to their strengths?
Philza Minecraft is an adapter.
His biome doesn’t matter, nor his circumstances, nor his equipment. He’s started over more times than he can count. Working under stress isn’t something that hinders him, nor changing environments. If the game of the day is complete the tasks, he can complete the tasks. If the game of the day is kill a player, he can kill a player. He might hate it, but he can do it. For the sake of his friends, of his team, of his kids, and of their collective survival, he can do it.
There is something else worth mentioning.
Philza Minecraft is a liar.
Oh, but you’ll never catch him in a lie, because it’s never what he does say. It’s what he doesn’t. It’s the details he omits. It’s the parts of the tale that he glosses over so that the bedtime story isn’t quite so scary. He’ll give you everything he wants you to have and hold the rest of it close to his chest. Or, more accurately, he'll slam it in a locked box and shove it under his bed with the rest of his monsters.
He was an asset to the Empire.
Back then, he always asked the right questions: not "why," but "how," and "when." Back then, he knew he was valuable, so he kept himself alive. Back then, "the Angel of Death" wasn't so much a nickname as it was a title he earned. A rank.
He never became a general. The promotion was there, and he was more than qualified, he just never took it. He was content to let his friend take the helm, because Phil knew what he was.
"Knew." "Was." Was, was, was. (Come on, now, Phil. Don't be daft.)
Philza Minecraft is a liar; the man he lies to the most is himself. Yes, Purgatory is fucked and twisted, and he hates what it forces him to do, but not because it's hard. No. Because it's far too easy.
At the end of the day, what matters most is that Philza Minecraft is an arrow. Let someone else nock him in a bow. Let someone else draw him back, point him in a direction, let him loose, soar, fly. Resources, gear, tasks, points, kills, blood---it makes no difference. Philza Minecraft won't stop until he hits his target.
#qsmp philza#qsmp purgatory#character study#I FINALLY GOT MY THOUGHTS ABOUT QPHILZA AND PURGATORY INTO SOMETHING COHERENT ENOUGH TO POST SOMETHING ABT IT#EVERYONE CLAP AND CHEER#philza rp characters are always support roles!! he is the thunder to the lightning in every context!!! can anyone hear me!!!!!#dont mind me im just rambling#my writing
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It's Nothing Serious
Secret Santa 2024 ••
Alastor and Anthony have been sharing a dorm for over a year. When Alastor comes up with a project for his social psychology class, it's only natural that he would ask Anthony for his help; after all, who else does he trust more? And besides, it isn't like fake dating has ever gone off the rails in the past, right?
Content: fake relationship, human versions, everyone is old enough to do the stuff mentioned within, drinking, trans Angel Dust, HRT involving needles, fluff and corny romance shit, implied spicyness, a whole lot of characters for a one-shot, Christmas-adjacent situations
•••
Here's my gift for the lovely @luciferfemme for the RadioDust 2024 Secret Santa gift exchange! Fun fact: they made the post that was my primary inspiration for Loveless Bond, for which I remain deeply grateful. Anyway, here you are, darling. Hope you like it!
•••
Six feet tall. Thirty-six years old. Outdated photo of him and his fraternity buddies as the only picture on his profile.
Swipe left on that one.
Five foot eleven. Twenty-nine. Fishing picture, fishing picture, fishing picture, just a dog, fishing picture.
Cute dog, but I don’t wanna hear how big his last catch was all through dinner. Left.
No fats, femmes, or Asians.
Fuck you, buddy. How do I mark a guy as ‘hate’?
Twenty-one.
Like Hell you are, you could be my father.
“Looks like pretty slim pickings in the dating market these days.”
“Holy shit!” Anthony jerked in surprise, nearly throwing his phone right into his dorm mate’s face as he spun around and slipped off the couch. He landed on his ass with a sharp yelp, which only made the guy above him start laughing harder. “Where the fuck did you come from?!”
“Louisiana,” Alastor said with a wide grin, his arms loosely folded on the back of their couch as he leaned over to watch Anthony pull himself up off the floor.
“Ha ha, asshole,” Anthony grumbled. “I thought you were at the library.”
“I was,” Alastor said, straightening up and rounding the couch to plop down next to the other young man. “But it’s the beginning of the semester, Angel, I hardly have that much work to do.”
Anthony snorted. “Since when have you ever gone to the library for legitimate reasons?”
Alastor’s smile sharpened that way it did whenever he was plotting something, and Anthony frowned, leaning away instinctively. In the year that they had known each other, Anthony—Angel Dust, to his close friends—had learned how to interpret many of Alastor’s more enigmatic expressions. When they had first met at the start of Anthony’s first semester at college, introduced to each other as new students who would be sharing a dorm, Alastor had immediately made quite an impression: he was handsome, he was mysterious, he was scary, and he was incredibly unavailable (as made perfectly clear by his laughter when Anthony’s first words to him had been some sort of proposition). It hadn’t taken Anthony long to realize that Alastor simply wasn’t interested in anyone or anything that way; however, it quickly became obvious that it was nothing like homophobia or prudishness, as he had no shortage of time to listen to complaints about the men Anthony was seeing nor lack of scathing opinions on each one of those men.
By the end of the first semester, Anthony and Alastor had become very close friends, to the point that they willingly agreed to remain together in the Spring. Now, in Anthony’s third semester, he had been given the option to move off-campus into an apartment or a house, but he’d elected to stay so that Alastor (who was on scholarship and unable to afford to live outside the dorms) wouldn’t have to get used to a new roomie.
Alastor had been surprised when Anthony told him this, but he had recovered quickly and said something to the effect of ‘I knew you would’. But he was happy about it, and no amount of smug posturing would convince Anthony otherwise.
“So, are we on the hunt for a new beau already?” Alastor asked, leaning around as though trying to look at Anthony’s phone again. The screen was off, but Anthony pulled it against his chest anyway. “I would think you’d be more concerned with your studies this semester, considering how abysmal you failed Calculus this past Spring.”
“Shut up,” Anthony said. “I ain’t lookin’ for a boyfriend, and I ain’t even after a hookup, necessarily. Just seein’ how the pool’s changed in the past few months. Ain’t gotten any better.”
Alastor scoffed, leaning one arm on the back of the couch and smirking at him. “I told you, most anyone you’ll find on those apps are going to be scum, because anyone who’s worth dating won’t be resorting to relying on them.”
Anthony rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and turning his head away. “I’m not gonna give you the satisfaction of callin’ you right.” Alastor didn’t answer. “Wipe that stupid grin off your face.”
“You aren’t even looking at me.”
“I can feel it.” Anthony picked up one of their mismatched couch pillows and smacked Alastor in the side of the head with it. The other boy cackled, shielding himself ineffectually with his arms. “Besides, it’s lookin’ like layin’ off the scene will be for the best right now. Feels like half the guys on here are chasers, and the other half got some kinda ‘you’d better not be trans if you message me’ disclaimer right at the top. I don’t wanna deal with that shit right now.”
“Hm.” Alastor’s smile changed to something Anthony might have called a little bit sympathetic, but then, he shrugged. “Their loss,” he said. “Seems like they’d simply feel insecure about you having more testosterone than them.” Anthony laughed, and Alastor’s grin returned. “If you’re going to be off the market anyway, I suppose I should do what I can to make sure you don’t get lonely.”
Anthony smirked, wiggling his eyebrows briefly. “You propositioning me, Al?”
“What– no, stop that,” Alastor said quickly, color rising to his face as he pointed a single threatening finger and ignored Anthony’s cackle. “What I’m saying,” he said, loudly enough that Anthony’s laughter died down, “is that I have a project this semester, and I think it’s something you could help me with, if you’re amenable.”
“Does this involve me losin’ a finger or somethin’?”
“There is a non-zero chance, but it’s highly unlikely.”
Anthony frowned. “...I ain’t agreein’ to nothin’ until you tell me what it is.”
“Fine,” Alastor said, rolling his eyes. “I’m taking a class for my social psych minor this semester, Social Influence and Behavior. Essentially, studying the way that people react to others in social settings and the ways changes in one individual might influence changes in another.”
“We both know I ain’t got a clue what the fuck you’re talkin’ about.”
Alastor leveled him with a look. “How one or two people acting weird can make the people around them act weird.”
“Oh, okay. I follow.”
“I thought you might. We were tasked with conducting an informal study over the course of the semester, the subject of which is up to our discretion. I thought you would be perfect to help me out with mine, since it’s… well. It’s fucking with our social circle and seeing how they respond.”
Anthony giggled. “Ooh, that sounds fun. A semester-long prank. Sure, I’m down, what are you thinkin’?”
Either Alastor suddenly looked a little bashful, or Anthony was imagining things. “Well, that’s… part of the reason I wanted to ask you, rather than anyone else,” he said, his voice as hesitant as Alastor’s ever got. “Most of my behavior isn’t considered unusual for me, and I was having trouble thinking of something I could do that the others would view as out of the ordinary. The best option that I landed on was dating someone.”
Anthony’s eyebrows went up. “Dating someone?”
“You see?” Alastor gestured at him with one hand. “You’re surprised by the mere suggestion! It would be perfect!”
“So… wait.” Anthony held his own hands up. “Wait wait wait. Are you asking– I mean, what are you asking?”
“Don’t worry, it wouldn’t be really dating,” Alastor said, and Anthony wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or not. “But you and I really are quite different, and I’m given to understand that sort of thing is subject to quite a bit of social scrutiny, not to mention the idea of me in a relationship is certain to absolutely baffle everyone who has ever met me. And it has the added benefit of the fact that I trust you implicitly and am fully aware that you would not take advantage of this position to my detriment, in addition to the fact that I can rely on you for answers to any questions I might have about how to proceed after a time.”
Anthony was silent for a moment. On the one hand, it was incredibly funny, imagining how their friends would respond to the idea of them being in a relationship. On the other hand, while Anthony would never admit it, he’d been fostering an incredibly annoying crush on Alastor for the past several months and it was only getting worse, a fact that most of their friends (particularly Husk and Cherry) were very adamant Anthony needed to stop immediately. On the other other hand (and didn’t he wish he had more than two sometimes), he couldn’t help feeling deeply touched that of everyone Alastor knew, Anthony was the one that he trusted enough to rely on for this.
Plus, this might get Valentino to leave me alone, so that’s another upside.
“Yeah, sure,” Anthony finally said. “Why the fuck not?”
Alastor did that thing that he did when he was both surprised and excited, the thing that made Anthony imagine he had two big animal ears that had just perked up on the top of his head. “Really?”
“Really,” Anthony laughed. “Sounds like fun, as long as you can handle it.”
Alastor’s expression shifted into a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Should be pretty obvious,” Anthony said with a shrug. “The only way this is gonna work is if we don’t act outta character, right?” Alastor nodded. “So… that means you’ve gotta put up with physical contact from me.”
The very idea made Alastor’s body stiffen up visibly. “...you’re talking about public affection.”
“PDA, yeah.” Anthony tilted his head. “Look, nobody’s gonna believe I’m datin’ someone I never lay a finger on, and they won’t buy that you’re actually in a relationship with anyone if you won’t ever let them touch you. You know how physical I am, so if you weren’t willin’ to put up with that, why would we go out at all?”
Alastor sighed, relaxing. “...you make a fair point,” he said. “But I will be setting ground rules, and you will be respecting them.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got you, Smiles,” Anthony said. “Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to make you uncomfortable intentionally, and I ain’t gonna do nothin’ without your consent. Just lettin’ you know that if you wanna sell this, we’re gonna have to commit.” He shrugged. “It’s like acting. Think of it as blocking.”
“...right,” Alastor said. “I can do that.”
“Cool. So…” Anthony hesitated. “Uh… when were you wanting to start?”
“As soon as possible.”
•••
“Good morning, everyone!”
The responses ranged from enthusiastic (Charlie) to barely a grunt of acknowledgement (Husk) as Alastor slung his bag over the back of a chair and lowered himself into it. Niffty leaned across the table, pushing a cup of coffee in front of him. “Here,” she said. “We ordered already. We got you your usual.”
“You’re a peach,” Alastor said, patting Niffty on the top of her head and picking up the coffee cup. She smiled, sinking back into her seat. The morning was crisp with just a touch of the scent of autumn in the air, barely detectable under the bouquet of smells coming from the cafe. While Alastor had always preferred studying on his own, he had to admit that he didn’t exactly mind getting roped into this little study group that Charlie insisted on hosting every Saturday morning. They always sat around the same large table together, Charlie paid for everyone with her father’s money (and Alastor didn’t mind wasting that), and it usually devolved into something more fun than simple school work.
“Where’s Angel?” Charlie asked. “He’s coming, right?”
“He’d better be, I ordered the bitch pancakes,” Cherry said.
“It’s a morning study session.” Pentious brushed his long hair back over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at the table as a whole. “I don’t think Angel’s seen this side of an ante meridiem hour since he left high school and I’m not positive why any of you keep thinking he will.”
Husk snorted. “It’s a tossup,” he said. “He’ll either show up for free food or avoid it because it means work.”
“He’ll be here,” Alastor said. “Don’t worry.”
Rosie laughed. “What, did you wake him up before you left?”
“I threw things on him until he yelled at me, if that’s what you’re asking.”
No one was giving him any kind of unusual look (as far as he could determine), which was something of a relief; it meant that, no matter how Alastor might have been feeling in the moment, the others at the table weren’t suspicious of anything. It wasn’t that Alastor was nervous—what reason did he have to be nervous? It was only Anthony, and they had known each other for over a year at this point—but, as the one with no experience on how romantic relationships were supposed to be conducted at various points, he was incredibly uncertain as to what he was supposed to expect. Anthony had promised him, repeatedly, that he would do his best to keep from making Alastor uncomfortable while simultaneously doing his part to make their little scheme believable, but that told him absolutely nothing about what Anthony might actually do.
Of course, the fact did remain that he trusted Anthony. When they had first met, Alastor had noted his friendliness, and the moment he registered that it was flirting and had expressed his personal distaste for such things, Anthony had stopped immediately. In fact, outside of a handful of exceptions (bumping into each other in their tiny kitchen, grabbing Alastor by the hand when his bad leg gave out and he nearly fell down the stairs outside the library, that one time he’d helped with a particularly stubborn cuff button that Alastor simply could not fasten one-handed), Anthony had taken pains not to make any physical contact with Alastor whatsoever. Despite his friend’s reputation around campus and in various social circles, Alastor had always found him respectful with his hands, even if he had no idea how to control his mouth.
“Oh, there he is! Hi, Angel!” Charlie said, interrupting Alastor’s thoughts. She raised her hand and he followed the line of her gaze to Anthony, who returned the wave with one hand before he lowered it to stifle a yawn. He headed for the table, letting his bag drop onto the floor and slumping into the chair next to Alastor.
“Morning, princess,” Alastor said with a smirk, watching Anthony scrub his face with both hands. “Long night?”
“Nnh. Sleepy. Coffee.”
Niffty began sliding another coffee across the table, but she froze the moment Anthony leaned over and laid his head on Alastor’s shoulder. Alastor jumped slightly, but Anthony remained still, giving him time to adjust to the sensation without giving away their game immediately. It actually wasn’t that bad, after the initial shock of the touch; as a matter of fact, Anthony was actually pretty gentle as he leaned against him, and the white hair brushing against Alastor’s cheek was soft, but not in a way that tickled or irritated.
Is this what it feels like? I can do this.
Alastor leaned to the side as well, pressing his cheek against the top of Anthony’s head before the other young man could move away. “Well, sha, if you’d gotten up when I told you I was getting ready, you could have walked with me and had coffee sooner.”
“Okay, Mr. My Hair And Clothes Always Look Perfect With Zero Effort. Some of us actually have to work to look presentable.”
“…uhm… here, Angel, we got you coffee too,” Niffty finally said, pushing the mug towards him. She was still staring wide-eyed, and Alastor was fairly positive she hadn’t blinked once.
“Oh my god, you’re perfect.”
While Anthony sat up to wrap both hands around the mug and take a careful sip, Alastor took the opportunity to take a quick glance around. Everyone was staring, a variety of expressions on their faces, but no matter what they were thinking it was quite clear that everyone was confused. Alastor kept his usual smile in place; it was really hard not to laugh when Charlie started to ask a tentative question only to get cut off by the arrival of their food.
Alastor turned his head again at a tugging on his sleeve. “Yes, sha?”
“What’d you get?” Anthony asked, his gaze fixed on Alastor’s bowl of pecan oatmeal like he had no idea what it was.
Immediately, he was hit with sudden inspiration. Instead of answering, Alastor got a small mouthful on his spoon and held it up. “Want some?”
Anthony nodded before opening his mouth, instantly reminding Alastor of a baby bird. Alastor fed him the spoonful (he had seen insufferable couples do that in public before), and Anthony ate it happily, humming one of those little songs he hummed when he thought something tasted really good.
“…so…” Charlie finally said. Alastor looked her direction, and was gratified to see that Husk was staring, his mouth slightly open and his face frozen in an expression of confusion that didn’t know if it wanted to be angry or not. “What, um… what’s going on with you two?”
“Going on?” Alastor asked, his smile widening. “My dear Charlie, whatever makes you think there’s something going on?”
“You don’t share food,” Vaggie said, gesturing between them sharply, her brow furrowed.
Rosie held one hand up, her wrist going limp instantly. “You two aren’t actually… y’know…”
“Of course they aren’t,” Cherri said immediately.
“They aren’t what?” Pentious asked, looking around the table quickly. “What? What’s happening?”
Alastor shrugged, looking at Anthony. “You want to tell them?”
“I like makin’ them wonder.” Anthony giggled a little before rolling his eyes. “Okay, fine. Yeah, we’re datin’, you wanna make somethin’ of it?”
Instantly, Niffty muffled a squeal with her hands, and Husk quite confidently said, “Bullshit,” while Cherri almost shrieked the word ‘bitch’ in shock before vaulting out of her chair and running over to start berating Anthony for not calling her (though why he would have was beyond Alastor; he’d have to ask once they were alone).
“When did this happen?” Charlie asked, her eyes wide and her voice doing that ‘I’m about to burst with excitement’ vibrating thing it did before she burst into happy tears.
“Last night,” Alastor said. “I’m sorry, were we supposed to take out space for an announcement in the campus newsletter?”
“No, no, of course not!” Charlie said, waving her hands in front of her face. “I just— I’m happy for you!”
“…thank you?”
“Ignore them, darling,” Rosie said with a casual wave of her hand. “I’ll simply say it’s about fucking time and let it drop.”
Alastor narrowed his eyes at her, which just made her smile grow. “What is about fucking time, exactly?”
“No no, too late, I dropped it. Niffty knows what I mean.”
He turned to squint at Niffty, who still had her hands clasped over her mouth and was nodding furiously. Alastor narrowed his eyes further. “…have we been the subject of gossip?”
“Uh, duh,” Niffty said finally. “And if you weren’t always so damn mysterious, we wouldn’t have to do that!”
As Alastor was processing this, he felt a knuckle thump his shoulder. He turned to look up at Husk, who was looking down at him with an unreadable expression. “Can I talk to you?”
Alastor glanced down at where Husk had tapped him, then back up; normally, that was enough to get him to back down, but he didn’t budge. “Of course.”
He excused himself and followed Husk out the front door, then around to the side of the building where they couldn’t be observed. Once out of sight, Husk turned to him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“At the moment? Being systematically prevented from consuming my most important meal of the day.”
“Cut the shit, Alastor. You know what I mean.”
Alastor held his hands out as he shrugged. “I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult, Husker. Angel is a perfectly delightful young man. Is there something so wrong with someone wishing to pursue a relationship with him?”
“Normally, no,” Husk said, raising an eyebrow. “But this is you that we’re talking about. You aren’t capable of doing things without ulterior motives.”
“You know me so well.” Alastor didn’t let his smile slip. “What’s next, going to tell me that if I break his heart you’ll break my kneecaps?”
Husk scoffed. “No. Angel’s gonna be in arm’s reach of you, he’ll kill you just fine by himself. But if you’re playing some kind of game, you really might want to rethink this, because while we won’t interfere with whatever he decides to do on his own, his siblings might.”
Oh. Shit. I didn’t think about them.
Anthony’s twin sister, Maria, and older brother, Bernardino—affectionately known as “Molly” and “Arackniss” in their little circle— were textbook examples of avoiding even the pretense of subtlety. While much of Anthony’s speech and behavior could be written off as just him being from New York, Molly had been described as “a Long Island princess who might have a gun in her purse at any given moment”, and Arackniss always sounded like he was a sentence away from threatening to give someone a pair of cement shoes. Alastor wasn’t afraid of them, of course; no, he had only ever feared one person in his life, and that honor belonged to his beloved mother. However, Anthony had made it painfully clear that, whatever issues he had with his siblings (particularly Arackniss), they were his problems and anyone who fucked with his siblings would be very unlikely to see the next morning.
Alastor wasn’t afraid of Anthony, either, but that didn’t change the fact that the thought of upsetting him was deeply unpleasant.
Apparently, he had been quiet too long, because Husk’s expression flattened out into something closer to derisive disbelief. “You didn’t even think about it, did you?”
“I deeply appreciate your concern, Husker,” Alastor said, skirting around the question and laying his hands on either of Husk’s shoulders. “But you have nothing at all to fret about! I know exactly what I’m doing, and Anthony is perfectly capable of handling his family on his own.”
Husk sighed, rolling his eyes. “Your funeral, brother.”
When they returned to the table, Anthony gave Alastor a curious look, but Alastor waved to him, their signal for ‘I’ll tell you later’ when either of them had gossip that needed to be discussed privately. The conversation redirected itself almost immediately, for which Alastor was grateful. He enjoyed being the center of attention, of course, but being barraged with questions made it infinitely harder to just sit and observe his surroundings. That was, after all, the point of all of this.
As they were all getting up to leave, Anthony said, “C’mon, babe. I need some new threads and you said you’d give me your most cuttin’ and brutal opinions.”
Alastor had said nothing of the sort, but he knew coded language when he heard it. “Of course, sha.” He waved to the others, all of whom were staring as they left the cafe together and began walking in the direction of the nearby shopping center. Once they were far enough away and Alastor had determined they weren’t being tailed, he allowed himself a small cackle. “That went well.”
Anthony giggled. “Shit, no kidding. I expected a reaction, but fuck. …hehe.”
Alastor frowned at him. “…what?”
“Butt fuck,” Anthony repeated.
Perplexed, Alastor continued to stare until recognition hit him. “You are hopelessly foul and I hope you walk in front of an oncoming bus.”
This time, Anthony’s laugh was full and genuine. “I’m draggin’ you with me, bitch!” He then directed that smile onto Alastor. “So… I know you didn’t actually agree to shop with me, but d’you mind comin’ anyway? I’ll buy you a soft pretzel.”
Somewhere deep inside, Alastor thought, You don’t have to bribe me, sha. I can’t say no when you give me that smile.
It was a ridiculous thought, but it was far from the first time it had crossed Alastor’s mind, so he dismissed it. “Oh, very well,” he said, playing up the visage of being put-upon enough that no one could mistake it for true reluctance. “I suppose I had nothing else to do, anyway.”
This was going to be a lot of fun, Alastor decided. He couldn’t wait to see everyone’s faces when they learned the whole thing had been a ruse.
•••
Word travels real fuckin’ fast, apparently.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us!”
Anthony rolled his eyes visibly as he continued putting away the clothes Alastor had helped him pick out. Molly and Arackniss had been waiting outside their dorm room when they returned, and the moment Alastor registered their presence, he suddenly remembered he had something to do in the library and ran away (like a goddamn coward) before either of them noticed him. Naturally, they had started badgering Anthony instantly, following him into the dorm and hardly pausing for breath, let alone any kind of explanation.
Molly wrapped her arms around her legs, glaring up at him. “What, you think you can just not tell us and we won’t find out? That it?”
“If that’s what it was, I wouldn’t never text either of you,” Anthony said, carefully cutting the tag off of a shirt he had decided he wouldn’t be returning. “I was gonna tell you.”
Arackniss scoffed, not straightening up from where he was leaning against the wall next to Anthony’s closet. “Sure you were, Tony,” he said sarcastically.
“I was!” Anthony countered, flinging an empty shopping bag at his brother. “It happened late last night, I had study bullshit this morning, ain’t like I’ve been keepin’ it for weeks or somethin’.”
He could practically hear his siblings exchanging looks behind his back as he put hangars up in his closet. “...you went to a study session,” Molly said finally.
“Yeah.”
“You. Went to a study session.”
“Yes,” Anthony said, carefully controlling his voice so he wasn’t snapping at her. “You’re actin’ like I ain’t never studied a day in my life.”
“Well… not on purpose, anyway,” Arackniss said.
Before Anthony could counter, Molly said, “Didn’t you say he don’t do… y’know. Sex and stuff?”
Anthony frowned at her over his shoulder. “...yeah,” he said. “Not that it’s any of your business. What’s your point?”
“Well…” Molly looked at Arackniss.
He picked up on whatever signal it was, taking over from her. “Tony, you ain’t never dated anybody in your life, and now you’re sayin’ you’re exclusive with a guy who doesn’t even like sex?”
Anthony rolled his eyes. “I don’t care,” he said. “He told me he don’t mind if I keep up my cam work, and anyway, ain’t there more to a relationship than just fuckin’ all the time?”
“Well… yeah,” Arackniss said.
“We’re just surprised you think that,” Molly added.
Anthony turned to them and held up his hands. ‘Y’know what? Fuck both of you,” he said; he didn’t put any real heat in the words, and just looking at their expressions told him they didn’t take it seriously. “I like him, and he likes me, and I don’t give a shit about anything else. And even if it wasn’t for that, I’d stay with him just to piss you off.”
Molly actually giggled at that. “Sounds about right. And I’m guessin’ the aneurysm Ma’d have about you bringin’ home a boyfriend—”
“Who’s both southern and black,” Arackniss interjected.
“—don’t hurt your decision none, either.”
Anthony cackled. “She’s gonna be so pissed, and don’t get me started on Pop.”
“Well, they won’t disown you,” Arackniss said thoughtfully. “I was fuckin’ certain they would when you started your transition. Pops still asks me if you’ve stopped ���that testosterone shit’ every time we talk.”
Anthony raised his eyebrow. “And?”
“I say no. And then I call you Tony and he hangs up on me.”
He snorted, grinning. If he actually liked his parents, that would have been incredibly painful to hear. Instead, while his parents’ actions made him mad, listening to how his siblings handled it always filled him with a sense of bitter satisfaction. “Ain’t you the best big brother.”
“You fuckin’ know it.”
“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” Molly asked. “You got bad taste in men, Tony, and a guy like him…”
“I’m sure,” Anthony said. He meant it, too, but in a much different way than either Molly or Arackniss were taking it. Did he really like Alastor enough to put up with this?
…yeah. He did. And that wasn’t going to cause any problems in the future, because he wouldn’t let it. He valued Alastor’s trust and friendship too much to let it.
•••
Alastor had known there would be… reactions, to put it mildly, when news got out that he and Anthony were ‘dating’. In fact, he had been counting on it; otherwise, how was he going to get any sort of data for his project? He simply hadn’t been expecting so many reactions to be quite so visceral or loud.
That study breakfast had only been the first social hurdle. Over the next month, he’d been yelled at by Vox (who’d had a strangely passionate reaction to the news, and for the life of him, Alastor couldn’t figure out why he was so upset), threatened with extreme bodily harm by Valentino, stalked through the library and the rest of the campus by Blitzø and his three little cohorts, aggressively grilled by both Molly and Arackniss, and been stared at by Zestial with an intensity he could feel from the other side of the quad.
It was still funny, of course, but for some reason, it was also sort of… bothering him? Annoying him? He wasn’t sure the phrase that best communicated how he was feeling, just that there was something unpleasant about everyone behaving as though he wasn’t good enough to be Anthony’s boyfriend. Fake relationship or not, it was hard not to take that kind of thing personally.
Maybe that was why, in mid October, he finally broke down and grabbed his phone to make a call.
He was laying on his bed with his head at the foot, turned onto his side with his phone resting on the side of his head without either hand keeping it in place. It freed them up to allow him to pick at the cheap comforter he broke out once it started getting too cold in the building. The phone rang twice in his ear before he heard a click, followed by the soft, comforting sound of a controlled alto voice. “Hello, Alastor.”
“Hi, maman,” Alastor said, unable to keep a smile off his face. “Catch you at a bad time?”
“Nah. Just gettin’ some packages ready for the store this week,” she answered. Just the sound of her Louisiana drawl was soothing after so many unpleasant conversations. “Somethin’s botherin’ you.”
It wasn’t a question, but Alastor still asked, “What makes you think something is wrong?”
“You never call this late unless you got somethin’ on your mind, kiddo.”
He sighed. Either she was too perceptive or he was growing too predictable. It might have been both, for all he knew. “I… did something, and I wanted to tell you about it.”
There was a soft, distant thud, and he could tell his mother had just put down whatever was in her hand. “I’m not gettin’ another letter from your school,” she said; it was almost a question, but it might as well have been a threat.
“No, no, nothing like that.” Alastor hesitated, pulling on a thread in his comforter until it snapped. “I… asked someone out.”
A very long pause followed that, long enough that he almost asked if she was still there. “Is that so?” his mother asked finally. “You went on a date?”
Alastor shook his head, even though she couldn’t hear it. “It’s complicated, but no. I mean we’re dating.”
“I see.” Another pause. “It’s Anthony, isn’t it?”
Alastor put his hand on his phone and sat up. “How the hell—”
“Oh, please, Alastor.” He could sense her rolling her eyes at him. “After everythin’ you’ve told me ‘bout that boy, I knew if you’d be askin’ anyone out, it’d be him.”
He wasn’t sure what to say in response to that. He wanted to say that it was a fake relationship, or… something, he didn’t know what. “...do you think I’m making a mistake?” he asked instead.
“Who knows?” He could hear her chopping something on a cutting board. “But I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, you can’t wait to know if everythin’ you’re gonna do is gonna end up goin’ well. Maybe it’s a mistake. Maybe it’s not. You won’t know until you do it.”
That was a good point, but Alastor wasn’t going to tell her that.
“Are you happy?”
Was he? Alastor thought for a long moment. It wasn’t something he had really considered, always having considered himself fairly content with his life so long as his decisions were just that: his own decisions. Did that mean he was happy? “...yeah,” he said, his voice soft with the realization that he wasn’t lying. “I am.”
“That’s all I care about. I’m happy for you, baby.”
The rest of the conversation was fairly standard, Alastor asking about how things were back home and his mother asking about his studies. When they said goodbye, he realized he actually felt a lot better. He hadn’t realized how much he needed just a little bit of approval. Everything seemed considerably lighter as he got up and left his small room, heading over to knock on Anthony’s door. “Hey, Angel,” he called. “You in there?”
“Yep. C’mon in, ain’t locked.”
Alastor let himself in, opening the door to see Anthony sitting in the middle of his bed with his medication box open in front of him. “Oh. HRT. Bad time?”
Anthony shook his head, drawing his dose out of the bottle. “Nah, s’long as you don’t mind watchin’ me stab myself.”
“Oh, that’s not a problem.” When Anthony gestured to the bed, Alastor sat down, looking over his supplies. “Need any help?”
Anthony glanced at him. “...you any good at givin’ shots?”
“I… have done it before,” Alastor hedged. “Why?”
“Because gettin’ it in my arm hurts less, but I gotta hold the skin taut, so I can’t do it by myself. Usually gotta do it in the thigh and sometimes it bleeds a lot.”
Alastor tilted his head. “...would you like me to give you your shot?”
“If you don’t mind, yeah.”
“You trust me to do that?”
Anthony raised an eyebrow at him. “If you hurt me on purpose, I’ll stab you with my drawin’ needle myself.”
Alastor chuckled. “Fair enough.”
Anthony showed him the proper place to stab, and Alastor held the skin as taut as he could, carefully slipping the needle straight into the muscle just below his shoulder. Anthony sucked in a breath, but he didn’t make any noise of pain, so Alastor made sure he wasn’t drawing blood before he slowly pushed the plunger down. Anthony made another sound, one that made Alastor feel a little strange, and he aggressively pushed the thought out of his mind as he removed the needle. “All done. Bandage?”
“Here,” Anthony said, offering one out to him. “Thanks.”
“Of course.” Alastor removed the little round adhesive bandage and carefully covered the puncture wound. Then, on something of a whim, he leaned forward and kissed the spot. “There you go.”
When he sat up, Anthony was actually blushing. “Uh… thanks,” he said, his voice uncertain.
Alastor felt his own face heating up. Why did I do that? He refused to let it show in his expression or voice, just smiling as he stood up. “You have early class tomorrow. You should get to bed.”
Anthony groaned. “I can’t believe you talked me into taking an 8 AM class,” he complained, not for the first time. “You’re the literal worst.”
Alastor’s smile widened. “I am, aren’t I?”
Anthony flipped him off and Alastor laughed as he left the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it for just a second, his hand still wrapped around the handle.
The fuck is wrong with me?
•••
A week after the HRT incident—Anthony wasn’t sure what else he should call it—he found himself in Alastor’s room, both of them sitting on his bed and idly playing gin without paying much attention to it. The cards were just something to do with their hands, most of their conversation focused on the latest gossip and talking about the various upcoming Halloween activities, such as several campus parties, the parade, and the massive haunted house that was always open the whole of Halloween week.
“You gonna go do anythin’ this year?” Anthony asked.
“I never do,” Alastor said, drawing a card from the deck and tossing one down.
Anthony smirked. “That’s why I’m askin’ this year. You wanna?”
He’d expected Alastor to buck at the suggestion, but instead, he looked thoughtful. “What did you have in mind?”
“Haunted house and Charlie’s party,” Anthony said. “Thought maybe, if you were down, we could do a couple’s costume and really weird people out.”
That actually made Alastor perk up. “Yes, absolutely, we’re doing that.”
Anthony laughed. “Great. We’ll go shoppin’ for stuff tomorrow, then.”
The silence that followed was thoughtful. Anthony had known Alastor had something on his mind for the whole evening (for the past week, really), but he wasn’t sure how to ask. It turned out he didn’t have to, though, because Alastor finally spoke again after almost ten minutes of playing cards in silence. “You’ve dated people before, right?”
“Hm? Yeah, kinda,” Anthony said. “Nothin’ that lasted more than a couple’a months, tho. Why?”
Alastor went into a much shorter thoughtful silence. If Anthony didn’t know better, he’d say he was hesitating. “Do you…” Alastor began, then shook his head and started over. “What do you usually do when you’re dating someone? And you don’t have to spare me details just because of my delicate constitution.”
Anthony grinned at that. “Well… we go out, like you and I’ve been doin’. But the dates ain’t usually so frequent.”
Alastor frowned. “Your boyfriends ignored you?” he asked, actually sounding a little bit pissed off on his behalf.
“No, no. I mean… not exactly,” Anthony hedged. “More we didn’t… leave that often.”
“...Angel. I already told you, you don’t have to spare me details.”
“Okay, okay,” Anthony said. “We spent a whole lot more time either makin’ out or fuckin’ than we did goin’ out to dinner or whatever.”
Alastor was quiet for a moment. “...I see,” he said. “And that was… fun, to you?”
“Sure,” Anthony said with a shrug. “You know I like sex. I like kissin’, too. I mean, as long as the guy’s good at it,” he added with a faint sneer. “Why d’you ask?”
“Curiosity. Also, a desire to keep people from catching on,” Alastor said. “I mean… I had noticed those bruises on your neck after you had a successful night out.”
“I never cared if someone saw that I got hickies.” Anthony frowned at him. “...what are you sayin’, exactly?”
Alastor looked somewhat embarrassed. “Simply that it was incredibly common for you to have them, and if you continue to… not… won’t some people start getting suspicious?”
Anthony wasn’t sure how he was supposed to take this. “Alastor, people know you ain’t into this kinda thing. I don’t think people are gonna be suspicious because you didn’t spontaneously grow a libido.” Oddly, Alastor looked even more embarrassed, and now Anthony was positive he wasn’t aware of it. The other young man was actually ducking his head into his shoulders somewhat, and he was avoiding meeting Anthony’s eyes more than usual. Anthony hesitated, but… Fuck it, he thought. He told me to be direct. “Alastor, are you curious about makin’ out or somethin’?”
Alastor threw his hands up before he put his head in his hands, staring down at the cards in the discard pile. “I don’t know,” he groaned. “You’re confusing.”
“Me? The fuck did I do?”
“I don’t know,” Alastor repeated, more insistently. “I’d truly never contemplated this kind of thing before, but I… yes, I suppose I’m curious.” The aggressive way he said it made Anthony pretty sure he had to force it out.
“...you wanna make out?” Anthony asked, trying his best not to sound too hopeful.
Alastor laughed a little, but he didn’t raise his head. “I believe you said you enjoy that provided the guy is good at it, right?”
“You sayin’ you’re a bad kisser or somethin’?”
“I really wouldn’t know,” Alastor said dryly, raising his eyes just enough to give Anthony a single quirked eyebrow.
Anthony shrugged. “If you ain’t done it before, then you can’t say you’re not good.”
Alastor stared at him, like he wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “...you know, most people are bad at things the first time they do them.”
“Depends on how fast a learner they are.” When Alastor looked uncomfortable again, Anthony said, “I got a better idea.” Alastor raised his head once more as Anthony moved back to lean against Alastor’s pillow and headboard, then motioned to Alastor to come closer. “C’mere.”
Frowning, Alastor scooted over to him. “What, precisely, are we doing?”
“Cuddles.” When his best friend made a predictably skeptical face, Anthony continued, “All innocent, I promise. Hands above clothes. Won’t even touch your hair if you don’t want me to. Just a test to see how you feel about the closeness.”
“...well… alright.” When Alastor moved next to him, Anthony helped him get settled. They ended up with Anthony still on his back, one arm around Alastor’s shoulders, and Alastor on his side with his head on Anthony’s shoulder-chest-area and arm across his abdomen.
At first, Alastor was predictably stiff, holding himself like he was either ready to spring up at any second or like he was afraid of putting too much weight on Anthony. After a few moments, however, he began relaxing, and Anthony took the opportunity to place his hand on Alastor’s upper arm and carefully run his hand down to his elbow, then up to his shoulder, then back, making sure the touch was firm enough not to trigger unpleasant physical sensation. “How’s that?”
“Mmn,” Alastor said. There was a long pause. “Your sweater is soft.”
“Yep. You comfy?”
“Mhm.”
In minutes, all of Anthony’s fears of chasing Alastor off were replaced with the thought of never being able to get up ever again as his dorm mate gradually became almost dead weight on top of him. He managed to fish his phone out of his pocket, then found a decent YouTube playlist and set the phone up with its pop socket on Alastor’s little bedside table so they had something to do that didn’t require movement.
After nearly an hour, Alastor stopped responding to Anthony. He looked down and couldn’t resist smiling when he noticed that Alastor had fallen asleep, his cheek pressed against Anthony’s chest and his glasses threatening to fall off. Anthony carefully took the frames off his friend’s face, folded them, and set them on the table. He thought about slipping out and going back to his own room, but the moment he tried to move, Alastor’s grip tightened.
Ah well. Fuck it.
It really was comfortable, after all.
•••
It got to the point that they were cuddling every time they were alone.
At first, Alastor had felt the compulsion to make up excuses for his behavior—it was cold, it was more practical so they could read the same book, they were both tired and they could each lay on the couch that way—but eventually he stopped trying. The fact of the matter was simple: he liked it. Anthony never questioned him, thankfully, but he couldn’t help wondering if he was behaving too strangely. After all, this wasn’t supposed to be a real relationship, and sometimes Alastor felt like he was taking advantage of the situation. He had simply never really been in a position to be so close to someone on such a regular basis, particularly not someone he wanted to be close to, and now that Anthony had opened the door… Alastor had discovered he really, really liked the contact.
Snow was falling gently as the two of them left the dormitory together, the moonlight casting silvery light off the blankets of white all around them, illuminating their walk off campus and to the small neighborhood where Charlie, Vaggie, Niffty, and Cherri were all renting a house together. Alastor couldn’t help laughing as Anthony shivered, pulling his hat down over his ears and his scarf up over his face before tucking his hands into the pockets of his huge white coat. “Cold?” he asked mildly.
“Fuckin’ freezing,” Anthony answered.
“You’d think you’d be used to the cold,” Alastor observed; he was cold, too, but he was certainly handling it better than his friend. “Yankee and all that.”
“Yeah well it doesn’t work like that.”
Alastor chuckled. “I’m sure they’ll have cider and you can warm yourself up.”
“Mmn.” Anthony looked at him, curiosity obvious on every inch of what was visible of his face. “Semester ends next week.”
“That it does. You going home?”
“Only if I can’t come up with an excuse to go somewhere else,” Anthony said. “You?”
“Can’t,” Alastor said. “Don’t have the money to travel. The dean’s letting me stay in the dorm over the break. I don’t think I’m the only one who’s staying, anyway.”
“Maybe I’ll just stay with you,” Anthony said. “Unless you’re just dying to have the place to yourself.”
Alastor glanced at him, surprised. “Oh… no, not particularly,” he said. “You know I get bored when I’m left on my own for too long, anyway.”
Anthony laughed. “You’d go through all my shit.”
“I don’t know where half of your belongings have been. No thank you.”
“Shut up,” Anthony said, punching Alastor lightly in the shoulder. “...your project is due next week, I guess?”
Alastor hadn’t let himself think about it very much. “Yeah. I need to finish writing it this weekend.”
“Boring.”
There was something else Anthony wanted to ask, Alastor could almost taste it. He could probably guess what it was, too.
Are we going to tell people it was a prank tonight?
Alastor was glad he didn’t ask, because honestly, he wasn’t sure what answer he would have given.
The house was decorated to an almost nauseating degree with lights, winter-themed foliage, and various lawn decorations of both the inflatable and the non-inflatable varieties. The door was open before they got a chance to knock, and Charlie (beaming from ear to ear as usual) waved them in. “Hi guys! Come on in, come on, it’s freezing outside!”
“You said it,” Anthony said, stepping in past her and pulling off his hat and scarf. His cheeks and nose were all pink, and Alastor had the bizarre thought that it was very cute. “Sorry we’re late.”
“Oh, no, you aren’t,” Charlie said as she took both of their outerwear and hung them up. “Everybody’s in either the living room or the kitchen, and my dad’s here, and I already made him promise to behave so you’d better also behave or I’ll do something drastic,” she added, pointing at Alastor’s nose.
He felt himself go cross-eyed before he nipped lightly at the air towards her finger, making her withdraw her hand. “Like what?”
“Like telling your boyfriend on you,” Charlie said decisively.
Alastor wasn’t sure what to say to that. He settled on, “My, haven’t we grown unreasonably cruel.”
“I’ll beat him up for you, sweetheart, don’t worry,” Anthony said, giving Alastor a wink.
They headed into the room where the Yule party was just getting into swing. Alastor took a moment to absorb the scene: Husk, Cherri, Niffty, and Blitzø were in front of some kind of complicated-looking board game, but they looked more like they were arguing over it than actually playing, while Stolas sat behind Blitzø looking through the rules pamphlet like he was trying to make sense of it; Pentious was sitting in front of Vaggie’s record player, holding up different records to Millie and Moxxie (who were occupying the same chair) like he was getting opinions on what to play next; Vaggie and Luna were at the island connecting the kitchen to the living room and appeared to be doing Jell-O shots; and from the sound of things, everyone else was in the kitchen, which suited Alastor just fine.
He followed Anthony to the center of the room, returning greetings as they were noticed, but they didn’t get far before Rosie appeared and thrust cups of hot cider into both of their hands. “Here, you both look frozen to death,” she said.
“Thank you, my dear,” Alastor said. “How’s the drama this evening?”
“Woefully undramatic,” she said, looking incredibly disappointed. “But I’m sure something will crop up for us to talk about for the next month.”
Anthony grinned. “It better. That’s the only reason I come to this shit.” He leaned closer to her and added in a lower voice, “Then again, maybe someone should just make some drama.”
Rosie leaned in the same distance and responded in the same tone, “If I get my way, I will be.”
“Ooh, dish, what?”
She grinned. “Gonna sleep with Charlie’s dad.” Alastor immediately choked on his cider, and before he could form words, she waved. “Ta, boys,” she trilled, heading back for the kitchen.
“Rosie!” Alastor snapped at her retreating back. “You are a hussy!”
“No, darling, I’m a harlot!”
In spite of the warnings, threats, and threats disguised as warnings, the evening progressed rather smoothly. Niffty was imposing strict limits on the drinking to prevent anyone from getting out of control (“Do not wreck this house, we are renting it!”), which meant the arguing never went too far and no fights broke out, not even from Cherri. When Alastor and Lucifer finally did lay eyes on each other, it was from across the room, but with Anthony and Charlie to steer them away from each other, he didn’t get a chance to do more than tauntingly smirk at the pompous asshole. There were some other people there that Alastor didn’t know—apparently, they were Lucifer’s work friends, but Charlie referred to them as aunts and uncles, so he wasn’t sure what to think—but he managed to avoid interacting too much with strangers, which was usually the reason he didn’t go to parties.
Roughly three hours later, after people had eaten and were milling around again, Alastor found himself sitting on a couch with Blitzø on one side of him and Millie on the other, deep in a conversation about (of all things) French Impressionist film and halfway through his fourth glass of cider when he felt Blitzø nudge his arm with his elbow. “What?” he asked, looking down at him.
“Look,” was his only answer, nodding to somewhere on the other side of the room.
Alastor obliged, his eyes landing on Anthony, who was talking with Niffty (about her clothes, judging by both of their body language). “...it’s Angel,” he said, perplexed. “What’s your point?”
Blitzø rolled his eyes. “God, you’re a fucking dumbass,” he said. “Look, will you?”
He still had no idea what the other guy was on about when Millie went, “Ooooh, I see,” and immediately started giggling.
“What?” Alastor asked, when neither of them explained.
Almost immediately, he felt someone lean against the couch. “Hey, honey,” Moxxie said, leaning down to kiss Millie on the head. “What’s so funny?”
“Look,” Millie said unhelpfully, pointing subtly over at where Anthony and Niffty were standing.
Moxxie squinted at him. “I have no idea what you’re– oh, no, I see.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Alastor said, looking at Moxxie. “What are you three talking about?”
Fortunately for him, Moxxie was basically incapable of not sharing information when he knew something. “Look over his head.”
Alastor sighed, looked at Anthony, then looked up, and– Oh, he thought, color rising to his cheeks. “...isn’t mistletoe a little… corny?”
“Nah, I think it’s romantic,” Millie said, clasping her hands together at her chest. “Besides, y’know Charlie wouldn’t’a put it up if it weren’t supposed t’, y’know, inspire.”
Alastor rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “I don’t– I mean, Angel probably wouldn’t… you know…”
“Are you kidding? You think Mr. PDA would get all embarrassed if you kissed him?” Blitzø asked skeptically. “Besides, he’s standing under it, he’s practically begging–”
“I swear t’ god Blitzø if you say he’s askin’ for it I will eat yer kneecaps.”
“Well, he is!”
“You could always just ask,” Moxxie told Alastor as the other two immediately started bickering about ‘appropriate language’. “And if you aren’t comfortable, obviously, don’t do it.”
Am I comfortable with something like this?
A few months ago, Alastor would have just laughed at the question, or given some kind of sarcastic form of ‘no’ if pressed to answer. But now… he didn’t know if he was or not, and he was finally realizing that he was never going to know if he was or wasn’t unless he actually tried something. He just nodded to Moxxie, finished the rest of his cider all at once, and thrust the empty glass at Blitzø. “This was your idea, so you have to hold this.”
“What– yeah, okay, man, go get some.”
Alastor ignored him, getting to his feet and crossing the room to where Anthony was standing. The closer he got, the more clearly he could hear his voice; he was aware that his own thoughts were somewhat jumbled, but there was one thing he knew for absolute certain. It was something he had been thinking for days, a deeply sober sentiment that he knew the alcohol was not influencing one iota.
I don’t want him to go.
“Oh, hey, Al,” Anthony said, turning when he noticed him. “You’re not leavin’, are you?”
“No,” Alastor said, shaking his head. He thought to say something else, but he didn’t; he couldn’t do anything but just look at Anthony.
Apparently, this was odd. Anthony frowned, tilting his head. “...you okay?” he asked at length.
“What? Yeah. Yes,” Alastor corrected. “I’m fine. It’s just… I…” He wasn’t sure how to say it, and on reflex, he glanced up at the mistletoe again.
It wasn’t meant to direct Anthony’s own gaze, but it did, and the moment he registered the little bit of green decor, his cheeks flooded with pink. “...oh.”
Alastor was only vaguely aware of Niffty scurrying away, giggling. Anthony looked back down at him, both of them at a loss for words. Alastor wasn’t used to his speech failing him, because his words were how he had always navigated through life. It was how he had gotten himself out of trouble, and sometimes into it, for many years. But now… what was he supposed to say?
Anthony wasn’t speaking either. But he also wasn’t moving. Alastor didn’t know what to make of it. All he knew was that all of this thinking was making it worse, so instead of thinking, he would just do something.
When he first leaned forward and kissed Anthony, the other young man gasped, as though so much buildup still hadn’t prepared him. Before Alastor could even think about moving away, Anthony flung his arms around Alastor’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Even though they didn’t part lips, even Anthony was out of breath when they parted, and Alastor was fairly certain both of their faces were on fire.
He only noticed the room was silent when someone yelled, “Hell yeah!” which triggered either laughter or vehement shushing from most everyone else in the room. Anthony immediately started giggling, burying his face in Alastor’s shoulder.
Alastor couldn’t bring himself to look at the rest of the room. It wasn’t just because it was embarrassing, it was because the sight of Anthony flushed so pink and overcome with laughter was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “...are you ready to go?” he murmured.
“Mhm,” Anthony said into Alastor’s shoulder, nodding.
No one seemed terribly surprised when they took their leave, bundling back up in their coats and heading out into the snow once more. The walk back felt both longer than it ever had and so short it was as though it passed in a blink. They were outside the dorms when Alastor took Anthony’s sleeve. “Wait,” he said.
“Y-yeah?” Anthony asked, turning to look at him.
Immediately, Alastor didn’t want to say anything, so he forced out the first words he could without giving himself time to process or second-guess. “Be my boyfriend. I mean… really. My actual boyfriend.”
This time, Anthony was the one who kissed him.
An hour later, they were in Alastor’s room, coats and hats haphazardly scattered on the floor and Anthony’s back against the wall. Alastor grabbed his wrists and pinned them, covering Anthony’s mouth with his own.
Judging by the sounds Anthony was making, he was a fast learner when it came to this kind of thing.
When they parted, Anthony tilted his head back, exposing the line of his neck, and Alastor was unable to resist leaning down enough to kiss his throat. He could feel Anthony’s groan reverberating through his own lips. “Oh, god, yeah,” Anthony moaned. “That’s so good…”
Something about those words, the way Anthony said them, sent a shiver through Alastor’s body. Before he could second-guess it, he bit down on Anthony’s neck, making him cry out and arch his back to press their chests together. Alastor released him. “Too much?” he panted.
“No, no no, fuck no, don’t stop…!”
Alastor bit down again, and Anthony whined, the sound turning into a sort of sharp moan as Alastor began scraping his teeth against his skin. As he began sucking a bruise into his flesh, he discovered that the rougher he was, the more Anthony seemed to like it; by the time he moved away to admire his work, the side of Anthony’s neck was covered in marks ranging from pink to dark red to something bordering on purple.
Anthony was breathing hard. “Fuck, Alastor, you’re so good…!”
Alastor didn’t know what it was, but when Anthony said that, it made him feel like he was going to go insane if he didn’t do… something, he just didn’t know what. He practically growled as he grabbed Anthony around the waist, and his best friend let out an inelegant squeak as he was lifted off the ground and practically flung onto Alastor’s bed. Alastor wasn’t sure how he would feel about this later, but he knew what he wanted now, and what he wanted was to keep making Anthony make those noises.
He stumbled slightly when he kicked his shoes off, but he managed to keep his feet until he could get onto the bed and crawl on top of Anthony, pinning him down and kissing him again. The night devolved into a haze of sensation and emotion, punctuated by Anthony’s whispered encouragement and moans. Alastor wasn’t sure if he was making noise or not—he was too busy listening to Anthony’s sounds to really focus on what he himself was doing—but if the way he felt when Anthony actually moaned the words “you’re such a good boy” in his ear was anything to go by, he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know what kind of noises he was making.
Eventually, he wasn’t able to form any kind of coherent thought beyond, I’m going to have to rewrite my entire paper.
#hazbin hotel#radiodust#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin radiodust#my writing#radiodust fanfic#hazbin hotel fanfic
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I really truly, from the bottom of my heart, hate you bitches so much, because on the tiktok of literally COCK AND BALL jokes w brittany broski, there were a few notes/messages like this:
And I KNOW you don't think anyone's going to check. You had someone go into your askbox and say "hiii brittany broski is shitty about palestine she's really ignorant :/" and you went oh omg I didn't know!! thanks for telling me! So I checked! This is in reference to her talking in her podcast, because people were asking why she hadn't done any big press statements about Palestine, you didn't retweet this or that, you must not care, don't you care, what's your stance, etc etc please say more OKAY COOL. So what's going on there? What did Brittany say on her podcast? Is she a Bad Person? Can I have some transcript, please? ____ "Hey guys, before we get into this week's episode, I want to talk to you about the ongoing and prolonged suffering and loss of life in Gaza, in Israel, and the oppression of Palestinian people widespread. I don't ever want it to be a question that I would ever not be against the oppression of any group of people, that I would ever stand on the side of the oppressor." "There was a lot of fear of misusing my platform." ... "I will admit that I was nervous to talk about it, because I don't want to say the wrong thing. And this is too fucking serious of an issue to misspeak, or to spread misinformation, or to speak over or for someone." ... "So I want to take a moment on my biggest platform- which is this podcast, to say that I stand with the people of Palestine, I stand for the liberation of Palestinian people." ... "Every day, to log on to social media, and be just inundated with graphic, unimaginable violence, and loss, and grief, it's just--There are no words." ... "And I feel helpless. That's part of it too, when you feel helpless, the last thing you want to do is talk to people about it-- but visibility is a resource in and of itself. And I can offer that." ... "The outpouring of rage and passion online, and anger at what's happening, I would argue needs to be dedicated and focused on our elected officials. We live in a democracy- albeit an inherently flawed one- we live in a democracy where we have elected officials who were elected and put in power to represent us, and if we feel misrepresented, if we feel underrepresented in foreign affairs? These officials have public phone numbers and emails. There are scripts available online to express your disdain and your rage, and unfortunately that's one of the only ways we'll see actionable change." "If you expected more from me, it's a terrible feeling- but I don't want to center myself, this needs to be all eyes on Palestine right now, where the real activism is happening. I would encourage you to follow journalists that are on the ground, people who are in Gaza, we need to be listening to them. I would also hope that we're at a point in this conversation where I can express my desire to stand in solidarity with the people of Palestine and that NOT meaning or suggesting or condoning anti-Semitism of any kind. There's a rise of anti-Semitism and islamophobia in the United States and it's just-- it's disgusting, and it's scary, so I want that to be said too. I just wanted to share that I am experiencing part of this collective sense of helplessness and hopelessness-- but it DOESN'T HAVE to be hopeless. I'm going to include a phone number in the description of this episode where, if you don't know the name of your senators or your Congressman, it's never too late to learn, and you can reach out to them." _______ Hm. What a bitch!! Yeah, just so ignorant and uncaring. Obviously she's not keeping up with anything. Should've retweeted more shit ig!
#sergle.txt#I will turn off reblogs on this so fucking fast I swear to god. I have a gun. I needed to complain about this#up in my notes and my asks bc you already didn't like somebody and you believe what ppl say on anon indiscriminately.#so what I'm hearing is she didn't talk about it enough / didn't put out statements soon enough. I see.#basically a criminal offense. she should get the electric chair ig#god I mean. if my thing was comedy and I had a big audience I don't think I'd know how/when/if to do basically a#Press Conference on Literal Genocide or if I should not make it about me and my thoughts? but do shit in the small ways I can#what do you even say... I think what she said here makes sense. but maybe I'm not reading it with enough bad faith#like oh my god. OH MY GOD#so no I'm not gonna delete the clips I posted what. the fuck are we talking about#''she was frustrated on ig stories that ppl were messaging her to put out a statement'' yeah... yeah. frustration. in response to so much#bad faith directed at you. hundreds of thousands of people all saying shit At You like it all rests on you#and being told to say these words so if you say them they will be empty. myeah what a bitch basically#I personally would not experience a human emotion in response to this.
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Times You Were “Just Friends”
(…But It Progressively Gets Worse)
Kent Johnson x f!reader (3.8k words!!!)
Warnings: some curse words, alcohol consumption, mentions sex and alludes to sex, kissing, giving hickeys and i think that’s it
Friends spend days on days together when they just meet, right?
You and Kent met during his last year at umich. He was in one of your electives, and the seat next to him was the only one available. There was a sort of connection immediately. You both kept stealing glances at one another, quickly looking away when the other would turn to look. His eyes were glued to you as you were concentrating on taking notes. You’d blush under the intensity of his stare, and he’d smile at the color in your cheeks. It’s the prettiest shade of maroon he’s ever seen. From that first day, you two have been inseparable. Kent easily got your number after stating it was always in good interest to exchange numbers with someone in your class to study or talk about work, but he really just wanted any excuse to talk to you. It led to multiple conversations in coffee shops, late night dinners at the dining hall, and a strong bond between the two of you. Only as friends, of course.
“I’m heading out, probably won’t be back till late so don’t wait up,” you tell your roommate and best friend.
“Seeing Kent?” She asks, a knowing smirk taking over her face. She knows there has to be something going on between the two of you.
“Maybe,” you mutter, not making eye contact.
“You guys have been hanging out a lot. When’s he going to ask you out?”
“We’re just friends,” you groan.
“Y’all are not just friends! Not when you hang out during every moment of free time y’all have. I’ve also seen the way you both look at each other. Something is going on,” she exclaims.
You shake your head, bidding goodbye and blowing her a quick kiss, wanting to escape her thoughts as soon as possible. You were just friends.
“Finally, you’re here!” Kent cheers, pulling you into his arms and into the house. His long arms wrap around your shoulders and yours wrap around his waist. He holds you tightly, and you smile up at him.
“Sorry,I took the long way to get here. Did you pick the movie?”
“Yes! I also ordered your favorite pizza.”
“You’re amazing. Carry me to your room? My legs hurt,” you say.
He doesn’t say anything else, just tosses you over his shoulder and takes you to his room, ready for your movie night.
Friends use pet names, right?
It took a lot of convincing and bribing on Kent’s behalf to get you right where you are right now. Seated in a movie theater, watching a scary movie. You hate scary movies, but Kent really wanted you to join him.
You’re almost 45 minutes into the movie, and you’re jumping at every little jump scare displayed on the large screen. At the moment, you’re crowded into KJ’s space, covering your ears, and practically shaking with nerves.
“Are you scared?” He asks nonchalantly.
You cast a glare in his direction, though you’re not sure he can actually see it in the dark room. You sit up straight, feigning frustration. You cross your arms over your chest and stare straight, ignoring his slightly worried glances.
“Don’t be scared, baby,” He whispers against the shell of your ear, and you have to fight off the chill threatening to come over your body. It’s the first time he’s ever used a pet name with you, and you hate to admit that you like it.
“I wouldn’t be scared if you just held me,” you mutter.
He lifts up the armrest between the both of you, guiding your body to lean against his. Soon enough, you’re wrapped in his arms, warmth, and smell. You could honestly fall asleep.
“I’m your baby?” You ask, looking up at him with doe eyes.
“You’re my baby,” he reaffirms, kissing your forehead and redirecting his attention back into the screen.
You smile shyly and relish in his affection, not so scared anymore.
Friends let themselves into each other’s apartments, right?
“Are you in class? There’s a surprise here waiting for you. I don’t know what it is or who it’s from,” your best friend says through the phone, looking at a sleeping Kent on your bed. She has a little smile, knowing that when you see him you’ll melt.
“I just got out. About 5 minutes away. How did it get into the apartment?” You ask confused.
“I brought it in,” she continued her lie, not trying to give anything away.
“Be there soon,” you say, hanging up and rushing over to your apartment.
When you get in, you rush to your room only to find Kent spread out on your bed, dead asleep. You smuggle the laugh bubbling out of you, melting at the sight of a large hockey player cuddled up in your bed, surrounded by pink sheets, soft blankets, and a few plushies.
“I thought you said you didn’t know what it was?” You turn to ask your best friend.
“Surprise!” She says in a whisper shout.
You turn back around, setting your belongings on the floor before crawling on your bed. You move slowly to not wake the man, swiftly resting part of your body on top of his. You feel his hand subconsciously rest on the small of your back. You card your fingers through his hair, pecking his cheek a few times. It results in a small, sleepy smile. Kent wakes up, stretching and readjusting himself so that his head rests on your chest.
“Hi, baby,” he mutters, lips moving across your collarbones.
“Hi. I didn’t know you were coming over,” you whisper.
“Came over to cuddle, but forgot you had a class. Practice was rough today,” he explains, cuddling deeper into you.
“I’m here now,” you say, completely unaware of your best friend snapping pictures of you two, being “just friends.”
Friends get handsy, right?
You and Kent are hanging out at a party someone was throwing off campus, but you’ve both have been doing your own thing the whole night. He’s been with his teammates and friends while you’ve been talking to this group of girls. As the night starts to dwindle down, you realize that you haven’t seen him for a while, so you go searching for him.
You find him at the kitchen island, a beer in his hand and a bright smile on his face. You adore his smile.
“Hey, I missed you,” you wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind, giggling at the look of shock on his face from not expecting anyone to pop out of nowhere.
“Jeez, you scared me,” he says with a small laugh.
“Sorry,” you apologize.
He brings you around so that you’re in front of him, hands landing on your waist.
“You’re beautiful,” he compliments.
You smile at him, still getting used to the frequent compliments from your friend. You just trace the outline of your favorite features of his. Starting at his nose and tracing his lips all the way down to the sharp edges of his jaw.
You both stare at each other in silence, despite everyone who is still around you both, talking and singing to whatever song is playing.
“Y/n!” You snap out of your haze, turning around to see one of the hockey girlfriends. You quickly embrace her in a hug and make small talk. As you continue talking, you feel KJ’s hand wrap around your stomach, pulling your body closer to his, so that you’re standing between his legs. Without thinking about it, your hand rests over his, intertwining together while you move to sit in his lap.
You don’t notice the knowing glances from everyone, because friends can sit on each other’s laps, right?
Friends sleep in the same bed together, right?
“Is it okay if I take off my shirt?” Kent asks, cheeks burning red.
“Well I’m not sleeping in your bed if you’re going to be wearing a shirt,” you tease, throwing one of his pillows at him.
He charges at you, gathering you in his arms and throwing you on the bed. He smiles wide at the sweet sound of your laughter. Wanting to continue to hear the sound, he starts tickling your stomach.
“KJ!!! Stop! Stop!,” you yell while also laughing.
“Are you guys having sex?” You hear from behind KJ’s bedroom door.
You whip the door open, eyes wide and ready to hurl something at Ethan as he stands there with a smirk.
“Does it look like we’re having sex?” You ask unamused.
“No but it kinda sounds like it.”
Before you can go at Ethan, Kent appears behind you, hand wrapping around your stomach to pull you into his body.
“We’re going to sleep, goodnight,” KJ says, pulling you towards the bed after closing his room door.
“Can I wear your shirt?” You dangle his discarded shirt in between two fingers.
“You better wear my shirt, or you’re sleeping on the floor,” he says playfully.
You fake laugh and mock his words, walking to the restroom to get changed.
“Woah, gimme a 360. You’re a smoke show,” he shouts.
“Shushhh…they’re going to think we’re fucking,” you jump on the bed, crawling your way up to where he’s laying. You rest your chin on his chest, letting your leg rest over both of his.
“I’m not opposed,” he jokes and you quickly cover his mouth with your hand.
“Goodnight you goof,” you giggle, turn off the light and cuddle right into his warm body.
“Goodnight, beautiful girl,” he says, kissing your forehead and rubbing your back.
Friends kiss, right?
“Thank you for rescuing me, although I don’t think I’ll survive the embarrassment that I’ll no doubt be feeling for the rest of my life,” you exaggerate.
You had a date tonight, but he stood you up . You ended up calling Kent and he was quick to pick you up.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything that guy should be embarrassed, he’s totally missing out,” he states, grasping your hand in his and caressing your knuckles with his thumb.
“I just want to experience a perfect date, you know. I want to be walked to my front door and be kissed like he’s been waiting to kiss me the entire night,” you pout, not realizing that you’ve already arrived at your apartment.
“Do you trust me?” He asks.
“Of course I trust you, KJ,” you answer back.
He pulls you into a hug, his head resting in the crook of your neck. You rub his back, cuddling a little closer because it’s freezing out. He notices your shivering and he cups your cheek, swiping your cold bitten skin. Your eyes are connected, staring so deeply into each other’s. You see the moment his eyes stare at your lips. You feel time freeze. You can hear your blood pumping in your ears and everything just disappears. His lips are on yours. The slight chapped skin of his lips pairs so well with your smooth ones. Kent has to resist the urge to moan when he tastes your cherry chapstick. Your heart is practically beating out of your chest and you know that when you separate, your lips will ache to be back on his. Friends can share platonic kisses, you’re sure of it. Your lips are puffy and scarlet when you both pull away. You look alluring, as you always do.
Kent stares at you with wide eyes, not really believing that he was brave enough to follow through with his plan. You grab ahold of his jacket, pulling his lips back to yours. You throw your arms around his neck and he lets his fingers tangle in your hair. Your kiss gets interrupted by your giggles. You pull away and rest your forehead over his heart.
“Do you feel like having a sleepover?” You ask with a shy smile.
“You mean I get to sleep in your comfortable as fuck bed? Hell yeah!” He lifts you in his arms and grabs your key to unlock the door, beyond ready for a sleepover.
Friends wear each other’s initials, right?
“Open my gift first,” Kent says, handing you a small, perfectly wrapped box.
You both decided to exchange only one gift the day before you both went home for the holidays. You were actually really nervous about getting him a gift, not wanting to pick something so sentimental, but also not wanting to pick something out that held no meaning. You were friends, it shouldn’t have been too hard.
“Any hints?” You ask, teasingly while shaking the box to see if you could hear what it could be.
“No, just open it and see.”
You unwrap the box, removing the lid to see the most precious necklace sparkling. It was a simple “K” pendant attached to a simple, silver chain. You trace the letter, repeatedly blinking, trying to process this moment. You feel your eyes tear up, but you don’t allow any tears to fall. Your heart is beating so fast, there’s no way a present should have this effect on you.
“Do you like it? It’s totally fine if you don’t. We can always exchange it for something else,” Kent rambles.
Before he can say anything else, you pull him into you. Your arms thrown around his shoulders and your face resting in his neck. His hands land on their rightful spot, the small of your back, holding you close, so afraid of you not liking his gift. You lean up closer to his face, attaching your lips to his. You move your hands to rest on the back of his neck to play with the hair there to soothe him. You feel his body melt into yours.
“Baby, I absolutely love it. It’s so beautiful,” you whisper against his lips, feeling that familiar, overwhelming wave of happiness when he smiles into your kiss.
“Really?” He asks bashfully, looking down.
“Yes, I love it so much,” you respond, hands on his cheeks so that he’s looking into your eyes.
“Can you put it on for me?” He nods, turning you around and clipping the necklace on for you.
“Looks beautiful,” he says, tracing the letter and your collarbones. You shiver at his touch.
“I’m never taking it off,” you admit, leaning in for another short kiss.
Friends fall in love, right?
The day had been fun-filled with endless activities.
During spring break, Kent thought it’d be a good idea for you to meet his family, as he was going back home for a family member’s wedding, and of course you weren’t going to deny him. It was so much fun and you found that you really enjoy being around his family. They brought you in so easily and made you feel like you belong right off the bat.
Today is the wedding, the reason why you met his family in the first place. You and KJ attend all the familial outings for the day. Early morning breakfast, a midafternoon game of golf, and now roaming around the wedding venue before the ceremony starts. You’re dressed in a simple, pink slip dress, and Kent is dressed in a nice, navy blue suit with a matching pink pocket square.
“You’re perfect,” he whispers to you, tucking a strand of your curled hair behind your ear.
You’re standing in the venue’s beautiful garden. It’s one of the most beautiful places you’ve ever seen.
“You flatter me too much,” you say, hand resting over his heart. You hope your blush does a good job at covering the natural blush caused by his words. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to his compliments.
“It’s true, though,” he states, pulling you into his arms. Your chin rests on his shoulders as your high heels give you somewhat of a boost. His hands rest on the small of your back, stroking the thin material of your dress.
“You’re the most beautiful person here,” he adds.
You gasp in fake shock.
“But your cousin is the bride,” you say, finally looking into his eyes.
He rolls his eyes playfully, tickling your sides so that you press yourself into his chest.
“Like I said, the most beautiful person here. In the world, actually,” he finishes, kissing your temple.
“Better keep the pda to a limit, or your family’s going to think we’re more than friends,” you tease, tugging on his hair.
“Let them think what they want,” he muses, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.
“C’mon, we need to head inside, the ceremony is about to start,” you say, hand falling into his hand to guide him inside.
The ceremony is beautiful, everything decorated in nice colors and patterns. It’s something out of a magazine.
You and Kent sit in your seats, eating, chatting, and watching as the newlyweds dance together. The time passes by so quickly, you almost forget that you haven’t danced with the one person you’ve been wanting to dance with the whole night. However, your attention gets drawn to the man when you feel him intertwine your fingers together.
“Want to dance?”
“Yes,” you agree without a second thought.
You both allow the music to guide your bodies in every direction on the dance floor, tuning out every stare and whisper being directed at you. You know there are people wondering about the state of your relationship with Kent, but you’re both just really good friends.
“I’m going to miss you,” you hear him whisper.
You know what he’s talking about, and you wish you could ignore it. Soon he’ll be leaving to Ohio to join the bluejackets. You’re proud of him, but you also don’t want to be without him.
“I’m going to miss you more. Who’s going to be my napping buddy? Who’s going to make sure I eat when I’m stressed? Who’s going to spend endless hours with me when we have nothing better to do? Excuse me,” you mutter, trying to pull away from his embrace. You didn’t need to cry in front of him.
“Where are you going?”
“Restroom.”
“Please stay. You can cry in front of me. I don’t care,” he holds onto you tighter, leaning his head down to press kisses into your neck.
“Want to head to the hotel?” He asks, referring to the hotel room he booked for the two of you.
Once you nod your head, he’s pulling you outside to wait for your uber. The whole ride is silent and thick with tension. He knows your disposition when you’re sad. You start to shut down and crowd into yourself as a way of protection. He wants nothing more than to comfort you, but he doesn’t want you to pull away completely.
You hightail it to the hotel room, bursting through the door and kicking off your shoes. You fight with the zipper of your dress, on the brink of a breakdown when you can’t reach the zipper. You turn to see Kent watching you in concern.
“Can you please unzip me?” You ask, voice so fragile.
He takes the zipper between his fingers, slowly lowering it while also letting his cold hands graze your bare back. He moves your hair to rest over your shoulder, bending down to place kisses on the back of your neck. Your breathing becomes labored and you feel your hands twitching, wanting to reach out for him. You feel his teeth nip at your skin which then gets soothed by his tongue. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when he starts to suck on the one sweet spot. He moves to kiss on the tops of your shoulders, also sucking to make your blood rush to the surface of your skin. Tossing your head back, you let out a sigh, one of your hands reaching back to grab onto him. When he’s done and there’s a red bruise appearing on your flesh, you turn in his hold. You pull off his jacket and quickly unbutton his button up. You pull on his belt, so that his body leans into yours and you both fall onto the bed, your lips locking.
He moves his body to rest in between your legs, his hands pressed into the bed above your head to hold himself over you. You trace the contour of his abs, lingering around the few bruises and scars that litter his skin from playing hockey. You grab the back of his neck, pulling him flush against you, and kissing him again. You let your hands wander the expanse of his back, enjoying the way his muscles flex under his skin.
The next morning, you’re waking up to Kent gliding his fingers along your back, your skin breaking out in goosebumps. His arm is snuggled underneath your head and is probably asleep and sore, but it’s comfortable for you.
“Are you awake?” He breaks the silence, fingers stilling and tension replacing the overall serene atmosphere.
Instead of responding, you turn in his arms to face him. The arm you were sleeping on now rests on the small of your back. He moves the hair away from your face, letting his eyes take you in. The sparkling “K” necklace rests perfectly in the dip of your collarbones. Collarbones that are littered with love bites. He closes his eyes, picturing the way your body arched into his when he made you his own, and the way your breathy moans are the most heavenly sounds. You see his lips turn up into a smile, you smile in return.
“You’re my best friend,” he says, staring deeply into your eyes.
You can feel your smile dim. “Best friend,” you forgot that that’s all that you are. His best friend. After so long of telling everyone, including yourself, that you were just friends, this time hurts the most.
His thumb swipes over your cheek and then swipes over your bottom lip.
“You’re my best friend and I love you so much,” he declares, resting his forehead on yours.
Your heart starts beating faster and suddenly you want to cry. It’s your turn to let your hands rub along his shoulders and back. Your eyes are still closed, convinced that this is all some insane dream. Because you don’t tell your friends that you love them, not the way Kent said it so tenderly and so sincerely. He’s just as in love with you as you are in love with him.
Your sniffles alarm him, making his head shoot up to look at you.
“It’s totally fine if you don’t feel the same. I probably shouldn’t have sprung this on you so suddenly,” he rambles, starting to choke up.
You shake your head, but he continues rambling, so you do the only thing you can do and quiet him with a kiss. You repeatedly peck his lips and all over his jaw and neck.
“I love you. God, I’m so in love with you,” you proclaim.
“But… How are we going to make this work? You’re leaving soon,” you mutter.
“Distance doesn’t matter, not when it comes to us. You’re my baby. I love you and I’m not letting you go. We’re going to be fine. It’ll all work out,” he swears and you believe him.
a/n: I had a lot of fun making this one, so I hope you all enjoy!!!
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Some late-night rumors gaining traffic tonight to help with your Sunday scaries (or Monday blues):
Netflix might be getting markled. There’s controversy on social media last week about how they passed on a January 6th documentary citing “it’s an election year,” which is usually code for executives who donate to conservative causes and you know that won’t do with the woke mob on Twitter.
An Australian medium has seen Oprah (or possibly Ellen), Beyoncé, and Kim Kardashian having some kind of trouble soon as well and may also be getting markled. She sees Beyoncé and Jay-Z being served papers and a public legal fight. She sees Kim getting into trouble with substances and a bad relationship that causes scandal, as well as most of the Kardashians having their own other scandals to deal with. She sees an A-lister with her own talk show getting exposed and everything that’s been alleged as rumors being confirmed as true - people are thinking it’s Oprah but it could also be Ellen too. (I lean Oprah since she’s still in the news more than Ellen is these days.)
Corey Gamble (aka Kris Jenner’s boyfriend and one of Harry’s new besties) has been even further implicated in the P. Diddy scandal. There are now photographs that he was present during the raids and when Diddy’s sons were arrested. It has caused some speculation that Corey and Harry connected at these parties and that’s how the Kardashians finally took a chance on Meghan. (I’m still pretty firmly on it’s a WME connection.)
A UK-trained lawyer who now lives/works in Louisiana and moonlights as a royal legal correspondent has claimed on Twitter that the BRF is holding some kind of press briefing phone call on Monday April 15th at 4am Central (mid/late morning in London.) Doesn’t know what it’s about but it sounds big. Allegedly this guy was briefed about The Queen’s funeral plans before Harry was. (I’ve never heard of this account before.)
Early last week, there was gossip that the palace was making an announcement on Monday April 15th.
All allegedly. Take with salt.
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New Alt-Right Playbook! There's a bunch of bite-sized videos like this in the works as I clear out the remaining points I wanna make before the series wraps. If you like this and wanna see more, back me on Patreon and/or follow me on Nebula.
Transcript below the cut.
Say, for the sake of argument, there’s this guy, this just real abomination, total scum-sucking garbage hole, who’s running for President. And conservative politicians, pundits, and voters have been laughing their asses off about him. “Oh my god, he’s such a disaster, he’ll never get the nomination, and, if he were to get the nomination, no one would ever elect him.” They trot him out as a punchline. But November 8th draws near and he’s still not out of the game, and the Left is banging on the walls, like, hey, that “joke” you’re giving free press to is saying some pretty scary stuff, and the Right is like, “Look, don’t waste your breath. We’ve already accepted that we lost this one, we’re certainly not going to bat for this guy, he’s going to lose.” And then, at the last second, when they do go to bat for him, and he does win, and the Left is like, what the absolute heck my dudes? they go, “Can’t do anything about it now, he’s the President.”
And when, four years later, you finally get his ass out of office, the Left turns to the Right and says, “Okay, now that he’s not President, are you gonna acknowledge all the stuff he did? You know, the stuff he said he was gonna do, and we warned you he was gonna do, and you said we were delusional for thinking he would do, that he did?”
And they’re like, “Oh my gawd, Heather, he’s not even President anymore! How are you still talking about this?”
I call this one The Slow Breakup. It’s like when your partner starts canceling date night, and then starts getting home really late, and then starts sleeping on the couch, and you keep asking, “Hey, is there something wrong?” And they just say, “Oh, sweetie, of course not, work is just running me ragged lately and I when I have time off I’m too tired to go out, and I get home so late these days I don’t want to wake you up by coming to bed.” And then one day you get home and their bags are packed and they’re like, “Look, we both saw this coming.”
(You know that thing. This- this happens to everybody, right?)
It’s always not happening until it’s already happened. The moment is skipped over where they would acknowledge they misled you, take responsibility for what’s happened, or, critically, where you could still do something about it.
Peel your eyes for this one, you’ll see it a lot. This is how conservatives jumped straight from “climate change isn’t happening” to “climate change isn’t man-made” (and now some are trying to jump to “maybe it’s a good thing”). Rhetorically, all these arguments mean the same thing: “We decided long ago what we were going to do. Nothing you say will change our course. This conversation is over.”
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Luther's Echo of Chaos: How Incel Fantasies Fueled the Alt-Right Machine
Luther, in The Warriors (1979), was never meant to be anything big. He’s a pipsqueak villain—the kind of guy who creates chaos for the fun of it, then hides when the real action happens. His "that's it?" motivation feels almost disappointing, like finding out the monster is just some loud kid throwing a tantrum. He’s a symptom of the world around him, a reflection of how gang culture exploits and then spits out the very people it pulls in, but ultimately, Luther is more noise than threat. It’s not until 2024 that his character takes on a new, darker meaning.
In this reimagining, Luther isn’t just a chaotic brat. He’s a mirror to something deeply unsettling in our present-day society. He’s become the embodiment of the modern-day white incel and alt-right figurehead. A character who was once irritatingly one-dimensional now speaks directly to the dark undercurrents that have woven their way through the cultural landscape, especially after the 2024 election. In a world where certain voices get louder, Luther is louder than ever—and maybe even scarier.
In the original, Luther kills Cyrus just because he can. In 2024, he does it for a deeper reason. This time, it’s because Cyrus is a Black woman, a powerful Don whose unity-focused movement is chipping away at the very power structure Luther depends on. Her existence threatens him, but not just because she’s strong—because her power undermines the twisted worldview he clings to. Luther’s world depends on certain people being at the top, and in his mind, there’s no room at the top for a Black woman with that kind of influence. He’s willing to destroy her to keep his worldview intact, and he’ll scapegoat anyone to cover his tracks, starting with another Black woman he points to as a “convenient” enemy.
Luther is the ultimate 2020s grifter, not so different from today’s alt-right influencers. He’s manipulative, charismatic to those who follow him, and devoid of empathy. He leans into dog whistles and open racism, mocking the African American Vernacular English that Cyrus uses and reducing her to “girl,” a colonialist insult meant to deny her authority. His gang, the Rogues, doesn’t just follow him out of fear—they respect his audacity. They look up to him the way followers of today’s grifters look up to people who “say it like it is,” often without realizing the hate they’re consuming.
In a way, Luther’s story is timeless. White supremacy has always thrived on fear and the ability to dehumanize those who threaten its hold. It weaponizes trauma and division, and Luther—true to form—gets a kick out of watching other people destroy each other. His destruction of Cyrus’s vision keeps her community fractured and ensures people like him can stay on top.
But here’s the thing: even though Luther stands in the way of progress, he’s not invincible. Sure, he benefits from society’s structures that tell him he’s entitled to power and control. But he’s ultimately hollow. The moment someone confronts him—someone he can’t manipulate or scare into silence—he falls apart. Luther, like so many grifters, only has a facade of power. His strength lies in others’ fear and in the illusion of control. Strip that away, and he’s just another scared man clinging to relevance.
The scary part is that Luther's simplicity is what makes him so believable. Today’s culture often demands complex villains with tragic backstories, thanks to our obsession with “realism” in media. But let’s be real—people do horrible things all the time, often for no reason deeper than greed, fear, or pure, unchecked spite. Sometimes the simplest villains—the ones who hurt others because they can, not because they’re misunderstood—are the truest reflection of the world we live in.
Luther’s lack of complexity isn’t a flaw. It’s his most horrifying feature. And in a world where “freedom” often seems to mean “freedom to harm,” he’s the edgelord fantasy of a culture that wants power without consequence. But the thing about edgelords? They’re not immortal. Despite everything, progress keeps moving forward, bit by bit. And for Luther, that’s the one truth he can never destroy.
I think nothing encapsulates Luther more than his villain song "Going Down"
Luther unironically describes himself as a "Shooting Star"
Think about what a shooting star really is: a bright flash, blinding for a moment, but fleeting. And that’s the irony here—Luther’s convinced he’s this powerful, almost mythic warning to others. He believes his trajectory is like some epic, fiery descent. But as he sings about it, you realize he’s just a flash in the pan, a self-proclaimed symbol who’s ultimately bound to fade.
The brilliance here is that Luther doesn't even see it. He thinks he's part of this eternal constellation, when really, he's just passing by, burning up, destined to disappear. It’s like the lyrics give him this false grandeur, this sense that he’s important and tragic and somehow eternal. But the whole metaphor undercuts him: he’s just a momentary blaze that’ll flicker out long before anyone can even remember he was there.
#lin manuel miranda#warriors musical#eisa davis#broadway#trump 2024#election 2024#right wing grifters
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Damn the genocidal warmonger who would benefit me more personally didn't win :(
Not quite sure if this is sarcasm or not (I’m too tired to figure it out) but let me explain some things to you and others.
- The majority of politicians (not all) are “warmongers”. This includes presidents. I have my own opinions about the US involving themselves in wars (but is another long discussion for another day).
- I am not a huge fan of Harris. I don’t fully agree with her views. BUT I still voted for her and Waltz (I also am not a big fan of him too but for different reasons).
- I voted for her because I know out of all of them, she was going to be the better choice for all of us. I know a lot of yall don’t like that way of thinking but let me give you some advice. Our country has 2 major parties (democrats and republicans) and we also have Green Party and independent. When it’s time to vote for your final choice- I don’t look at third party and that’s because I know there is a very low chance that they will get electoral votes. (I have my opinions ons on electoral votes). I focus on the democrat and republican candidates. I am not a republican. I do not agree with a lot of their views and policies. But I’m also not a democrat too. I’ve shifted from them due to the fact that the majority of them thinks that Jews/Israelis are monsters. I can’t stand by a party that supports that harmful and hateful view point. When it came time for me to vote I knew I had to pick the person that would be better for all of us. Harris was the better option. When voting don’t just think about yourself but think about the ones whose lives and rights are at stake.
- I remember Trumps first term. It was scary. Me and my family were making plans to leave the country (in case we had to). I was afraid for my and my loved ones safety.
- Trump winning this election is bad for all of us. This is why voting is fucking important y’all. If you are eligible to vote- then fucking VOTE. Stop telling people to not vote because “my vote won’t make a difference” (you don’t know that) or “I don’t like either of them so I’m not voting” (guess what I and many others don’t like them either but we still voted) or my new favorite “I hate that genocidal Harris so I’m not voting or I’ll vote for trump or third party to punish her”… well congratulations ass hats! Trump is the new president.
- say goodbye to your rights because a lot of us (including me) is gonna be screwed big time.
-There will be no more reproductive rights. If you need an abortion or have a miscarriage, you are screwed. You won’t be able to get the abortion and if someone finds out that you were looking into getting one, that person could report you and you might get arrested. If you are having a miscarriage, you still have to carry it to full term or you may get arrested (or you may also die)…
- LGBTQ rights, say goodbye to those. Same sex marriage will be back on debate and possibly will be banned. Want to adopt kids? Well you won’t be able to anymore because you’re not straight or cis. You want to start transitioning, well you won’t be able to because that’s illegal…
- I can keep going. That is how fucked we are. We are so fucked it’s not even funny. I knew trump was gonna get votes from his cult- i mean supporters. I also knew that Harris was gonna get her votes too. But those who refused to vote or voted third party to punish Harris, you guys played a factor in trump winning. You are ONE OF THE REASONS why he won. So congrats! Y’all didn’t want a “genocidal” woman to be president. You just wanted someone far worser than her.
- also just so you know, Harris supported and was pushing for a ceasefire. Y’all are just mad that she wanted the hostages to be freed and that she called you guys out (pro Palestine and anti zionist) for how y’all were behaving and acting. (I won’t even go there cuz that’s a whole ass story).
- so to the pro Palestine and anti zionist groups: did you free Palestine? Did electing a monster (who is a raging racist/sextist/islamophobic/Antitsemitic/homophobic/transphobic/the list goes on…) save Palestine? Is he gonna do it? The answer to that is NO. You fucked up.
- also remember that i/p conflict is not the only thing that is going to be affected when trump takes office. The Ukraine/Russian war? Ukraine is screwed. Remember that.
#jumblr#antisemitism#2024 election#i/p conflict#Ukraine/Russian war#reproductive rights#lgbtq+#israel#Palestine#trump#kamala harris#us politics#congrats to those who punished Harris by either#not vote#voted third party#or voted for trump#you just proved that you don’t care about anyone but yourselves#don’t start bitching when you start losing rights#we told you so#we warned you what will happen#but you did not listen#i said what i said
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