#eight questions tag
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Wind is not ok
Idk how to pinpoint it. It's something about how since Dawn part four, almost 45 percent of the sentences he's said have ended in questions marks or been directly theorising. How the Link who figured out the most about the timeline with ease hasn't spoken much outside of theorising about the monsters, the postman, the shadow. How he whipped his blade out the fastest and went for the fairy.
It's something to do with how the most expressive Link had tears standing in his eyes when Twilight was ill but never once let them fall. It's something to do with how the most energetic hasn't been the center of attention but has been on the sidelines for quite a few updates. How he told Hyrule it's about being ready for the variety and has seemingly been ready ever since.
It's something with how for the past ten updates (we're at entrance pt 3 now), he has only smiled on ten out of ninety pages. How an extremely reliable Kid appears the most ready outside of Sky to rip the shadows throat out, after being pushed by him in battle like he was nothing. How angry he looks when talking about the shadow.
It's something about how he yelled in Legend's face that they had to help, questioning if Twilight was corrupted or possessed. Something about how this kid sincerely asked his brother if he was feeling evil and hasn't stop asking questions since.
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#Lu wind#invisibly tagging:#blarefordaglare#HEY HEY GUYS I DID MATH#if you want exact statistics#43.90% of his sentences have ended in question marks or been directly trying to figure stuff out#literally go read it he's just been asking so. many. questions.#in ninety pages he's only spoken 41 sentences#that's not a lot for him#goddamn little dude#he's so not ok#he looked so so very angry at the shadow in Dawn part eight#look at me#citing my sources#I feel like we moved on from wind asking twilight if he was evil too soon#I have no idea if this made sense but I hope it does!
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Can you draw Kate and Lauren?
ah.. i hope you weren't wanting something cutesy....... I swear I'll do something nice for them.. eventually
#ask to tag if necessary!#p.mail#p.awesome sauce#kate's camera#kate the chaser#kate milens#kate milens hayes#kate creepypasta#creepypasta#crp#slender the arrival#slender the eight pages#slenderverse#do i tag lauren that is the question#lauren sta#eroguro#?
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teachers must hate marking my exams because i'm telling you there's at least 10 minimal effort fuckass guys crammed into the sides of the pages of every test i do
#ignore how blurry the last picture is im not retaking it#i call this one i had a total of 5 minutes 30 seconds left in the GAT and decided to start doodling the guys(trademark)#also can we talk abt the fact ONLY the australian government could get all their yr 12 students to sit a state-wide examination#where the questions consist of 2nd grade math and analysing a painting of mating zebras#and how ONLY my school could have the exam interrupted by happy birthday playing eardrum bursting loud over the speakers#and have it play. then stop for 5 seconds. then start playing again EIGHT times before they managed to stop it#dick grayson#young justice#dc outlaws#nightwing#red hood#tim drake#starfire#connor kent#bart allen#roy harper#dc comics#my art#that tag has lost all it's meaning for me#gothihop speaks
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I'm curious which Agent 8 ship is currently more popular.
Feel free to make your arguments in the reblogs!
#splatoon#agent 24#agent 32#agent 8#agent 3#agent 4#eight#agent 38#agent 48#captain#captain 3#post#shortpost#abyssalshriek#poll#abyssalpoll#do i tag polls as abyssapoll now question mark
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Gael García Bernal in Neruda (2016, dir. Pablo Larraín)
Gifs are all 540px wide so you can click to see larger.
[other gael filmography gifsets]
#gael garcía bernal#neruda#ggb filmography gifs#gael garcia bernal#neruda 2016#what is there to say about neruda that can be expressed in tag form?#it's intelligent and beautiful and fantastical and creative#and it asks questions about fiction and poetry and history and politics and life#(also a lot of it's funny because pablo larraín)#and i really wanted more than eight gifs#i started off with FORTY and had to whittle them down#even as i type this i'm thinking 'i really should have included one with mercedes morán' but i am not messing with them any more
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I remember you mentioning “The Watchers”, who are they? Can you tell me some lore behind them?
This is a rabbit hole that I don’t fully have time to go down myself right now but there’s a gold mine of information here and it can be split into about 3 parts.
From what I know:
There’s the original Watcher lore which is canon to Grian’s Evolution SMP, which started in 2017 and ended just over a year later. My knowledge of the SMP is mostly second hand, but the premise of it was to run through all updates of minecraft in order from the earliest version (buggy, grainy, fairly difficult to survive) to the more recent ones (transitioning bit by bit into the game we know today)
Evo smp and watcher lore is really concisely explained in a tumblr post here.
from the Evo wiki: Grian's final episode of the server was of the dragon fight, where he joined The Watchers when everyone jumped through the portal after killing the dragon. His joining of the Watchers had a modified end screen poem, where a text color representing Grian and additional text mentioning some of the other Evo members was added in. if you follow the link to The Watchers you’ll get more information on what exactly they are!
Grian talked about Evo and the watchers briefly in a podcast a good few years back (co-run by the same person who voices the Hermitcraft recap actually, Pixlriffs!) - when he joined Hermitcraft in Season 6, it's my understanding that his version of watcher lore ended with Evo. Canonically, Hermitcraft!Grian isn’t influenced by them at all. This isn’t the case in fan lore, which I’ll touch on later. There happen to be some incredibly interesting example of a what-if-they-do-follow/influence/kidnap/affect-him by talented writers, so if you want fanfic recommendations just ask :3
Where it gets really interesting is that creator Martyn, ign InTheLittleWood, decided to continue a version of watcher lore. This "eyesandears" (<- tumblr tag for it. Will contain spoilers) watcher lore is only canon to his interpretation of the series, and isn’t a server-wide thing that others incorporate into their videos. This runs throughout the life series and includes cryptic poems/rhymes, elaborate reasonings for why canonical events took place, Jimmy’s canary curse, who remembers the events of previous seasons and so on.
Note that the life series isn’t scripted, and has very loose guidelines for how players should act besides adhering to the rules. Martyn therefore has the story adapt as the series evolves (pun unintended), and a great example of this was his stream after limited life (life series iteration number 4) ended. He’s also on tumblr, because of course. This is his vod - I don’t have the time to go through it again myself. It contains lots of spoilers, but if you hang around in the fandom long enough you’ll begin to recognise the winners of each season and a few key events/alliances/betrayals/plot points regardless. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
As far as I know, none of the other life series creators really know much about this or keep this in mind when the life series is going. It doesn’t influence them, nor does Martyn seem to go out of his way to incorporate huge amounts of it into his own pov. The lore adapts to what the players do, not the other way around.
There’s also the fanon (fan canon) watcher lore which is incredibly well (and quickly!) covered by Ezzriin, I’ll link that video here - this is more important for understanding why Grian’s depicted the way he is (and exactly what that usually entails).
The links I’ve included explain things better and more concisely than I can. Martyn’s 2 hour vod may take some time to get through, but I recommend at least checking out the others! :)
#Not sure how to go about tagging this and I’m too tired to like. Edit it. So I’ll keep it brief#watcher lore#Hermitcraft#The life series itself isn’t huge either. You could get away with watching like eight 30-minute episodes for each of the 6 seasons*#*real life was an April fools joke and there’s only one video per creator. However I’m calling it canon. There are 5 full length seasons#so far and another one on the horizon. So it takes about 4 hours (depends on the pov) per season (5 times) +30mins to catch up to live#Life series smp#Trafficblr#Hope this answers your question#It’s quite a big thing in the fandom but easy enough to summarise#Edit: looking at Grian’s “_ life: the movie” episode compilation here. 3.5+4.5+3+4+5.5 hours. I can watch that again /delusional
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Did they reveal what the staffs represent?
No, they didn't even mention them, just showed them in the background and that's it.
Maybe some day, in s7? Or in one of the arc 3 seasons, which hopefully will come to be.
The only thing we've learned is that the stone in the staff of Ziard was actually a quasar diamond all along and that it being there was Aaravos's contingency plan. Coincidentally, the corona of the heavens turned out to have one of its diamonds fake. Sooo- At some point in the past he must've taken a real diamond from the corona and put it into the staff. Which means that the staff didn't have it before and that the stones in the other staffs are definitely not differently coloured quasar diamonds (as there are only three). Maybe they are different primal errm minerals? Like, Sky sapphires, Sun rubies, Moon opals...
Two questions, though.
Excuse me but what kind of contingency plan was that, Aaravos??? What were you even preparing for? Who in their right mind thinks "Hm, they may also imprison my soul and destroy my body. Let's steal a diamond, to be on the safe side"?? Like, I can't even say it was too much of a precaution because IT WASN'T. Damned genius. I wonder if he has any other crazy contingencies.
Are there any Dark magic alternatives for the de-coining spell? Because if there aren't, then Viren is a madman. I've always wondered why he did this freaking spell so readily. Did he EVER think about how he would get the coined people out??? If he knew about the quasar diamonds, it's still no less crazy: one, there are only three of them so Viren obviously had math problems as he did the spell FOUR times; two, how was he planning to fetch them?
True, Viren might've cracked a little but he's never been an idiot. He must have had a dark magic de-coining spell. But then, why didn't Claudia use it?.. It's the same spell, restoring bodies to separated spirits. Claudia is also not an idiot, she learned from her father and even took the coins after him. If there is a dark magic spell, she must have known it. So, why didn't she use it to free Aaravos?
I don't know the answer but I think it's down to these two options: either there's no dark magic alternative and Viren was a dummy OR there is and Claudia was just too caught up in her "avid follower" mode at that moment to remember that she could actually do it another way, no need to waste a priceless stone. She was literally: Aaravos speaks and I listen.
P.S. ah, one more thing. If these diamonds are all so rare and precious, why the Celestial elves gave them away so easily?
P.P.S. there MUST be a Dark magic alternative. Otherwise, how would the previous owners of the coins free their prisoners? I don't believe Viren was their first owner or the first one to use them. However, if we look at it from a darker side... Maybe the previous owners had no need to get anyone out. They just sealed people inside and left them there until they disappeared and freed the space inside a coin. :) Absolute pragmatists. Right, Viren?
upd: what's the matter with these asks? this is a second time I'm getting an ask from an account that gets deactivated in the course of like 15 minutes. I've heard there are some erm strange people in the fandom who make several accounts and write strange things, okay, but what's even the point of creating an account for the sake of asking 1 simple question?.. i mean, the question was easy to answer, i just got carried away as usual. alright, if I'm such a nice little account (no) that you couldn't help but write to me, that's fine, but then why delete your newly made account?.. really don't get it. ig it's either a very shy person (if so, you could use anonymous asks. it's more simple) or a strange person. or i just don't get it.
#the dragon prince#tdp s6#tdp s6 spoilers#tdp season 6 spoilers#the dragon prince season 6 spoilers#eight in a line#tdp eight staffs#tdp aaravos#tdp claudia#tdp viren#“im always planning for contingencies”#seriously? to what extent? what else have you got#you swindler?#aaravos & claudia#tdp quasar diamonds#tdp pragmatist#tdp coins#tdp dark magic#too many tags ahhh#questions and answers
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I'll be on the edge of my seat waiting, then 👀
(I use they/he, thank you for asking 😊) - 🌻
oh god. something, something, the 3 of us. the details are kinda fuzzy I can’t really recall
(of course 🥰)
#cowboy.answers#asks#🌻 anon#HA SO FLOWERBOI WAS EIGHT I FUCKIN KNEW IT#something just felt right about it#😌#flower hypothetically are you a switch/ strictly top/ I’m assuming not strictly bottom??#sub?? dom? (again- assuming at least a dom if not both)#the bottom is too scared to ask these questions so here we are 😫#tags
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your recent perseus art was SO. EPIC. do you think you'd draw more of him?! have a good one!
maybe! I have some thoughts about his return home that I might turn into something, but it'll take awhile for those thoughts to become something tangible 😔 (the comic I did post was something I had been thinking about for the better part of a year before it finally came together into something I wanted to finish)
#honestly the fact that crassus has made relatively consistent appearances on my blog since i became obsessed with him#is impressive#my rate of 'turn thoughts into comics' ranges anywhere from a few days to seven or eight months#and whether or not there will be any regularity to those thoughts is a question only my attention span knows the answer to#anyway that was a roundabout way of saying 'i have no idea' and 'this is why my ancient greece tag jumps around a lot'#my attention span is. uh. well it is#ask tag
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The absolute irony of watching an episode (and a half) of Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir out of curiosity the other night while waiting out a PC update to be done only to get hit with the news it just ended its first arc after eight years.
#just for the record i have no horse in this race on the show so i can't give an honest opinion#other than there are a lot of fics for it on AO3#and the story quality has questionably dipped although YMMV#but how do you spend EIGHT YEARS on a single arc???#i don't think even one piece is that bad and the pacing is fucking GLACIAL#yeah btw somebody on tw!tter called this show the one piece for french ppl and i lost it lmao#no but srsly how do you drag an arc out for that long#sailor moon had five seasons and by the end of the show the girls were more than halfway through high school#eight arcs and the show's cast is still in MIDDLE SCHOOL#if there's a sense of time progressing idk but you'd think by the end of season five they'd already be in high school#again i can't form an opinion b/c i have next to no knowledge on the show#i'm just surprised it took THIS LONG to wrap up just ONE story arc#miraculous ladybug#fuck it i'm tagging this just to see if anybody else is just as surprised as i am YEET
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I got a question for anyone who wants to answer. Can anyone name a story where enemies have to work together to fight a mutual foe? Also, the mutual enemy has to be a third party/separate faction.
Off the top of my head:
1) Jason and Salim from “House of Ashes” (U.S. Marine and Iraqi Republican Guard / Iraq War / the mutual enemy are alien vampires)
2) Warren and Mannix from “The Hateful Eight” (Union and Confederate veterans / American Civil War / the mutual enemy are the Jody Domingre gang)
3) The Hamunaptra dig party and Ardeth Bay’s Medjai from “The Mummy” (no war, but one side wanted to discover Hamunaptra’s secrets, the other wanted to keep it buried / the mutual enemy is Imhotep)
#jason kolchek#salim othman#house of ashes#dark pictures anthology#the dark pictures anthology#quentin tarantino#the hateful eight#the mummy#rick o'connell#ardeth bay#imhotep#enemy of my enemy#anyone can interact#reblog game#reblog bait#anyone can reblog#questions#reblog tag#anyone can reply#questions for tumblr#questions for the universe#reblog and share
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still having brainrot over Eight and Lana's own commander-and-outlander relationship bc i can't fucking sleep and have to make flop posts, but the day before he leaves is the day they sit down with one another atop his ship, watching the sunrise. (I guess this counts as a WIP whenever but I've slacked so hard this month I don't even remember how or what i've been tagged in...OTL)
they've both been made aware of one another. Lana's incomparably guilty. Eight looks at her and sighs.
"Be proud, Lana Beniko. Yours is the shield that our enemies dashed themselves on, that guaranteed a new future for all those you held dear. If you're at a loss for what to say to me: don't. No other would go so far. That is why we won."
For once in her life, Lana finds no speeches at the tip of her tongue, no ready-made phrasing that does just enough; she merely stares at her friend, (her hand), and stammers.
"I... don't know what to say. Eight, I..."
"I just told you not to." The spy feigns irritation with a roll of his eyes, then cracks a smile at her, faint and fleeting as the breaking dawn. "Neither of us were very good at listening to each other, were we."
An awkward silence descends on them. Lana is visibly discomforted, now made aware of the exact implications of such a statement. Eight had bent over backwards to follow her sense of right and wrong. Eight had devoted everything to heeding her call. She hadn't even known his reasons for doing so until the very end, blinded by her own eagerness to be saved. Her gloved hands grip the edge of their perch, white-knuckling them beneath the leather.
And she'd been none the wiser until she awoke one day to a slightly panicked holocall from base saying Eight was gone.
He'd fled. Deserted. In the traitor Theron's words, as he put it with uncharacteristic gravity to his features, "was it any surprise that he ran away? you used him-- and now he wants nothing to do with you or the Alliance. It's over."
The betrayal had stung almost as much as the revelation. They'd made up by now, but...
"Lana." Eight's voice pulls her out of her morose reverie, clear and lucid as day. His eyes lock with hers, piercing right into her soul. Lana's breath hitches, and his next words punch the air right out of her chest, like a battered hole in a damaged dreadnaught in the vacuum of space.
"Stop it. I know that look. Stop punishing yourself."
He grips her by the shoulders, shockingly earnest for a spy who concealed all emotion. Lana opens her mouth to speak, but instead of words coming forth- something unfathomable flows into her across the bridge of physical and mental contact, whisking her away on the tides of fate.
#swtor#swtor fanfiction#wip whenever#sweats at all the six sundays and wip tags i've missed#bleh. just haven't felt particularly confident lately about writing either and got sucked into uh castlevania#hence the dry spell#this one's... not particularly exciting either but i like thinking about it#just kinda. they're good friends. they're the worst to ever be paired up. they ruin each other's lives.#eight mirrors whoever he devotes himself to in an extreme kind of way#and every single time there was a moment in the story where he got separated he thought about leaving#lana in her infinite pragmatism avoids the responsibility of bloodshed by deferring it to the outlander#but following her moral sense made him kill almost everyone in the way. the body count got so high...#i don't think lana would question her morals. i do think she would question herself if she unintentionally damaged her underling that badly#and then had both theron and eight skedaddle LOL god. the stress#yeah. yeah sheer hilarity of both of them being traitors bc theron couldn't just leave him there and eight would be so curious/onboard to#playing that game as well.
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return of the nightmare potluck. a plague upon my house.
#yapping tag#required: a dish which will be equally good chilled or room temperature or reheated#(because there are no set parameters for how we are lucking these pots! when will it be and in which room?? loser questions!#only someone insufficiently Normal about how fucking tragically pre-purchased all these foods are going to be would care about the answers#we'll eat sometime after eight and before four-thirty fuck you. in either this building or that one. presumably in a room#will there be a fridge or a microwave? wouldn't you like to know. weatherboy.)#okay so also required: something to properly convey that I am so Normal about potlucks. casual. stress-free. effortless.#I want a 'woke up this way' food. something Tossed Together. I cooked (because I am better than you) but I didn't /try/#something they will think is Fancy but not Too Exotic. rage lives within me but they mustn't perceive it.#something vegetable-forward. they need vegetables and I need to know in my heart that I provided a delicious nutritious easy vegan side#I'm thinking roasted vegetables with a lemon-sumac dressing#romanesco. italian red sweet peppers. zucchini. cute little globe eggplants and rainbow cherry tomatoes and just a bit of red onion#varied and colorful and tasty and easy enough to pick out pieces if you hate ingredients but refuse to talk about your preferences Deborah!#the flavors and textures should hold up through a variety of temperatures so long as I don't dress it until serving#and sumac and fresh pepper and lemon juice and high-quality olive oil in a tiny jar on the side to shake and pour over and toss#that feels appropriately dramatic-casual. I woke up like this because I sleep with an eyebrow pencil in my pillowcase. fuck you.
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I know most of the edible plants in my region, and I like to randomly pick them off the ground sometimes and eat them just to freak people out a bit. Never been sick from it so I intend to keep doing this.
(screw it what's a fun fact about yourself also @ people I'll go first I'm allergic to myself
@escapetheslaughter
@ugly-astral-taurus
@bees-official
@gremlininthedark
@bloodmoon-da-idiot
@multifandomcutie13 )
#Open tags#crazy how many people who hate icebreakers irl jump on this train so quick#I’ve been asked this question eight times every year on the first day of school
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Sitter
dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader
You’re spending spring break alone at home while your father is five thousand miles away when all of sudden, you fall sick. Enter Joel Miller: your father’s buddy, sent by him to check on you.
Tags: Explicit MDNI, no outbreak, age gap, no mother in the picture but your father has a named girlfriend (sorry), no bra household, dry humping, footjob while watching SpongeBob, oral (m and f receiving)
Word count: 6.8k
“Dad,” your voice is hoarse like it has just come out from a dying goose, and you spend the next five seconds trying to clear your throat.
“So like, I’m… sick, kinda, but it’s not really bad, so—” A train of coughs that feels like they are going to tear your lungs apart. “—sorry about that. It’s nothing. Don’t worry too much, don’t even think about it. I just wanted to let you know.” Another coughing fit. “Okay. Have fun, I love you.”
You click your phone screen and let the voicemail find its way to your father’s ancient block of telecommunication. It’s 11 p.m. for you, 5 a.m. in Tuscany, you calculate with your fingers. You might be wrong. Either way, your father is probably asleep. He had been away for a couple of days with his girlfriend Amy for her nephew's wedding. And they plan to spend another week there, because it’s their anniversary, and Amy had always wanted to go to Italy.
“Will you be okay?” your father asked, apologetic. He leaned onto your bedroom door’s frame while you were unpacking your backpack.
“Yeah, Dad, what am I, eight? Go.” you laughed lightheartedly.
“It’s just you came down here from school and then I go, you know. I wish you’d said yes and come with us.”
“And third-wheeling you and Amy for ten days?” you giggled. “Dad, it’s okay. Come on. We’ll still have the weekend together when you come back.”
You heard Amy call for your father from downstairs, followed by a question about his dress shirt. You grinned, gesturing for him to go.
“Me and Amy will make sure the fridge is full, okay?” he says, voice fading as he steps down the stairs. You shook your head. You’ve survived on dry ramens and day-old coffees in college. You would be okay. Right?
Loud buzzer sound. The game show on the TV you put on to distract yourself from the fever is not doing a good job. You try to focus, but the noises coming out of it sound muffled, and the colors are just so bright and saturated that they make your head spin. You click on mute before slamming the remote on the coffee table, and it lands safely on some crumpled Kleenex. A thermometer is sitting next to the box, the tiny display screen blank. It’s broken, and you make a mental note to scold your father for always keeping faulty things around the house as if he’s going to fix them. A few bottles of pills you fished out of your father’s medicine cabinet to at least ease your aching muscles are toppled next to a half-empty Nyquil Nighttime Relief bottle with its cap screwed but crooked.
You second-guess your decision to let your father know that you’re unwell. But again, he hates surprises, so letting him know that he might find your rotting corpse in front of his TV when he gets back is, perhaps, doing him a favor.
It’s dark in the living room, and the leather couch is sticking to your sweaty leg. You should probably put sweatpants and a hoodie on instead of biker shorts and a stretched out shirt that looks more like a rag than a proper clothing item. But climbing the stairs now? No, thank you.
You shift your body, trying to find the best position to fall asleep in since the wrong angle seems to block your nasal passage. A groan leaves your throat when you can’t pull the fleece blanket to cover your body. You find out you are sitting on both ends of it. To hell with it.
You blink slowly. The Nyquil seems to start working. Can’t sneeze or cough if you’re knocked out, you think. You close your eyes, the colors from the TV somehow find their way in and flash washed-out red, white, yellow behind your eyelids. You’re too tired to reach for the remote.
Maybe you’ll feel better when you wake up.
You jolt when something cold makes contact with your forehead. Within microseconds, you yeet the thing away hysterically, hitting yourself in the process. The thing flies and lands on the wooden floor with a wet, thwap sound.
“Easy, easy,”
If it was just a little bit not so sudden and confusing and designed to constrict your blood vessels until your organs fail, you would have yelped. You nearly snap your neck trying to find the source of the voice, and your tense shoulders fall as quickly as they were raised when you notice the familiar face belonging to a broad frame standing next to the couch.
It’s Joel Miller.
Of course it’s him. Your father likely has him on speed dial.
He and your father go way back. Went to the same school, crushed on the same girls, hit the same bong, and so on. They were even in a band together. Your father has pictures of them from years ago, with greasy hair, earrings, bass and drumsticks in their hands. Cringe.
Well, just your father. Not Joel though.
You haven’t seen him in like, what, a year? And yet he looks good as ever. Well, Joel has always looked good his whole life. When you saw the pictures of him from high school you thought, Oh Fuck, I Would Totally Have A Crush On This Guy. And then you had to sit in silence and ponder, because, well, you are having a crush on this guy. Sort of. Maybe.
He bends over to pick up the thing you just yeeted on the floor, which is apparently a washcloth, and dunk it in a basin on the side table, which is now clean from all the stuff that was previously there.
“Joel,” you chirp. “Hi.”
“Hey.” he smiles as he squeezes the washcloth. Beads of water come trickling down his knuckles back to the basin, gleaming in front of the still-turned-on TV. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. What time is this?” you straighten up, rummaging around the blanket to find your phone to no avail.
“One-thirty. Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. Your old man asked me to check on you." He folds the cloth in two and dab it before stepping closer and pressing it against your forehead, nice and cold. His other hand supports your head from the back, basically cradling your skull.
“Your front door was unlocked when I came in.” says Joel, as if you are capable of digesting any kind of information at the moment. “You shouldn’t do that.”
“Sorry,” you say sheepishly. “And sorry my Dad made you come here. You didn’t have to, it’s not so bad.”
“Come on, it’s only a ten minute drive. ‘S okay. I checked your forehead. Not too bad, but still a fever, y’know. You took the Nyquil?”
The thought of Joel Miller touching your forehead with his palm in the dark while you were asleep somehow makes the neurons in your brain stop interlinking for a second. Were you sleeping with your mouth open the whole time? You knew you did fall asleep that way since you couldn’t breathe through your nose. Man.
“I did.” you nod, shaking the thought away. You feel your lungs tighten, though. Another coughing fit incoming.
“Good,” Joel presses his hand to your forehead again as if trying to make sure the wet washcloth is properly glued onto your face. The soft pressure disrupts your composure and you cough like a machine gun submerged in a container full of Elmer’s glue, hacking up thick mucus up your throat. Joel leaves your side with hurried steps and, within seconds, somehow has a paper cup under your chin for you to spit into.
You try to grab the cup, flustered, but he doesn’t let go and instead helps you sit up straight, patting your back.
“Spit.” he says as you wheeze with phlegm in your mouth like an imbecile. You awkwardly grab his wrist for support and spit the mucus out into the cup. Soon you’ll realize how foolish it is to grab someone’s wrist using the same hand you used to cover your mouth while coughing. The string of saliva takes a ridiculously long time to break free from your lips, but Joel is unfazed. He takes a glance at the mucus, likely checking the color and consistency.
“Thanks,” you blink rapidly, still processing.
“You wanna go to urgent care?” Joel asks.
“Nu-uh,” you shake your head. “I’m okay, I promise. I feel a lot better already.”
“It’s probably just a bug,” he pats your back again before walking to the kitchen to dispose of the cup. “How long has it been going on?”
You wait until he comes back because you don’t think you can speak loud enough for him to be able to hear you from the kitchen without tearing your throat apart. Joel thinks you didn’t hear him the first time and is about to repeat his question when you say, “Uh, it got progressively worse last night.” you realize how serious that sounds and quickly add, “But not like, worse worse. I mean, compared to,”
“And before that?”
“Just a scratchy throat.”
He looks like he’s mentally taking notes with arms folded in front of his stomach. It’s the first time that night you take a full look at him under the glow of the muted TV. You can’t really make the colors out, but he’s wearing a dark t-shirt under an unbuttoned flannel shirt and jeans. He’s keeping his beard kind of thin compared to the last time you saw him, but still the same, well-tended mustache that makes a strong presence over his lips. You can’t help but notice the graying strands of hair that stick out among his dark, messy hair, complimenting him so well. You are pretty sure the ratio between light to dark hair has been shooting up this year. You like it.
And his eyes. They’re rich, and dark, and the fact that he furrows half of the time that it creates permanent dents between his eyebrows just makes him ridiculously hotter.
The mucus factory must be working overtime tonight because you can feel the slight slippery feeling of lubrication where you’re sitting. Fucking stupid, you think, read the room.
All of sudden, a lightning flashes, lighting up your surroundings before the grumbling roar of thunder follows through. For a second, you can make out the shapes and silhouettes of everything in the room like a photograph. Joel fits rightly in the left third of this main piece in your mind exhibition. You wish you could take screenshots with your eyes and keep it to admire later.
Joel glances out the window. Heat lightning reveals the blobs of clouds outside, and the strong wind is starting to blow debris to rattle the windows. He shifts his focus on you again. “Did you eat?”
“I’m okay,” you shrug. Storm is coming, Joel better go home before it gets worse.
He chuckles. “Yes or no?”
That chuckle tickles something deep inside of you. You smile shyly. “Yes, Joel. I’m okay.”
Joel stares at you, and you are pretty sure he senses that you did not, in fact, eat dinner. “I’m starvin’, actually,” he gets up and takes his flannel shirt off, and then tosses it on the couch before making his way towards the kitchen. You scream internally at the sight of his biceps like a deranged fangirl.
“Mind if I take a look in the fridge?” he yells while opening the fridge door. Just being polite. He knows your father will let him dismantle the house and take the pieces home if he wants to.
You free the tangled blanket from around your legs, only noticing now how under your old, sweat-dampened, Marlin Club shirt, your nipples are as erect as fireman’s poles. Was it the temperature, Joel, or both, you can’t conclude.
Joel whistles when he finds that the fridge is full. He grabs a can of beer and pops it open, studying the contents of the fridge and thinking of what he can cook for you as he gulps the beer down.
You follow him to the kitchen, jump to sit on the kitchen island as Joel grabs some produce off the fridge and sets them next to you. He looks at you, blinks a couple of times, then occupies himself with the food cabinet over the counter. You try to be helpful by unwrapping the basil and cherry tomatoes.
“So, how’s school?” Joel breaks the silence as he washes his hands. “And don’t just say okay, please.”
“You got me there,” you laugh. “Nothing really amusing, really.”
Then a few more superficial, classic-catching-up questions while you both prepare the pesto. Joel asks about the trip to Italy, how your father mentioned proposing to Amy soon, what do you think about that. You ask about his brother Tommy, work, and the average cost to renovate a room, to which Joel answers in detail really nicely. Then come the usual do-you-remember-when stories, melting down the strange and awkward atmosphere between the two of you. Laughters fill up the room. It’s fun and familiar.
“Did you remember when you used to call me Uncle Joel?” Joel sneers as he tosses a pan to the sink. “You used to be so nice and polite.”
“I was like six!” You snorted. “And you can’t even pay me to call you that again, Joel.”
Then, the once-your-pops-and-I anecdotes. You’ve heard some of them from your own father’s mouth, but you still listen to Joel’s versions eagerly anyway.
At one point, you start to cough again so Joel instructs you to just sit down on the counter. You don’t complain—it means you can just sit back and watch him from the back and imagine how it would feel to run your fingers through his hair.
When Joel stirs the pasta with the pesto sauce, the weather has gone full-blown insane out there.
“You should stay the night,” you try to sound as nonchalant as possible. His presence is sending arrays of erroneous signals to your reproductive organs, which will most likely result badly if he stays, but how can you let him drive home in this kind of weather?
Joel hands you a fork and pushes a plate of fusilli for you to eat. “Eh, we’ll see,” he shrugs. “I don’t mind drivin’ through a storm, but I can’t just leave you alone if you don’t feel well.”
“Dad told me you got a folded chair smashed through your windshield last summer.” You take a bite, the thick sauce coats your tastebuds and you groan in satisfaction, even though you can’t really taste it to the fullest because of your stuffy nose.
“Oh, yeah, that.” Joel chuckles. “I was lucky it aimed for the shotgun.”
He eats standing up across you, one elbow on the counter. When you both finish the meal, he takes your plate and starts washing the dishes. You tell him to do it later, and then offer your help, and he says no to both. You insist on drying the dishes anyway, standing side by side with him.
After the very late dinner, the two of you retreat to the living room. Joel asks you to take some medication again and you decline, stating that you feel better already.
“Headstrong, ain’t ya?” Joel sighs. “Okay, sleep then. Wanna sleep in your bed?”
“Not really sleepy,” you shake your head. “Feel free to take Dad’s bed, by the way. You have work in the morning, right?”
“Nah, I’m alright by the couch.” Joel scoots to make room for his legs and lies on his back, groaning like every other old person when they finally get to be horizontal. His feet are dangling on one side, his head on the opposite armrest. You take the old recliner that doesn’t even recline anymore near Joel’s feet, facing both the TV and Joel at an angle.
The TV is still on, showing the same game show but already on a later season. You unmute it and watch it together with Joel for five minutes before you realize that none of you has laughed yet, and you ask Joel if he wants to watch a movie instead. He says why not.
You open a streaming service and browse for movies on the home page. Joel probably likes action and other classic old man genre types. You pretend to read some of the summaries and see if Joel perks up at one of them, but he doesn’t seem to really care about the TV.
“I don’t know what to watch,” you admit. “Do you wanna pick the movie?”
Truth is, Joel can’t give a single shit about no goddamn movie. He’s been distracted by so many thoughts in his mind. But he gestures for you to scroll back up anyway. “Let’s see the trending ones.”
You stop at a tally of newly released and currently popular films at the top of the page, giving Joel a chance to read about them before moving to the next one.
“This one looks excitin’.” Joel points at the screen. The poster shows a man in classic Viking attire, staring intently at the viewer with striking blue eyes. Some kind of pelt is draped over his shoulders. His hands are on top of each other, resting on a sword handle, the blade facing the earth. Dried mud and blood are splattered over his face and armor. The Conquest, it says. You don’t recognize the actors listed. The summary says something about revenge, passion, blood, power, blah blah. You click play.
The movie opens with a battle scene. The movie looks like it runs out of lighting budget, and you need to squint to be able to tell what they are actually doing. Nothing can be heard except grunts and blades clashing. You look over at Joel to see his expression, but he’s looking at you. He quickly averts his gaze back to the screen.
Twenty minutes pass, and none of you are really paying attention to the plot. Not until the main guy enters a wooden tub filled with steaming hot water with his asscheeks out, and then a woman enters the scene with nothing but a thin white veil covering her body. She drops the cloth and joins him. The warm light from the torches is highlighting her breasts.
“Woah,” you look at Joel again, but he says nothing, but you can see his Adam’s apple moving awkwardly.
They kiss, and he grabs her bosom with his humongous palms and knead them. Then he buries his face between them, with the woman kissing the top of his head. After what feels like a millenia, he lifts her lower half from the water, and then puts her down to sit on the edge of the tub before performing cunnilingus. She moans.
You start to feel a pool of heat brewing inside of you. This feels invasive of their privacy, somehow, with no soundtrack added, just fire crackling and water splashing and erotic moaning.
Joel clears his throat. “Uh, maybe we shouldn’t watch this,”
“You’re the one who picked the movie.” you say, eyes fixated on the screen.
“Well, it didn’t say nothin’ about eatin’ a lady out in the summary.”
He reaches for the remote and turns the TV off, leaving only the sound of rain hitting your window in your eardrums.
“Hey,” you whine. “That’s not nice. I didn’t say yes.”
“It’s late. Go to sleep.” Joel folds his arms over his chest, partly staying warm, partly because he’s so flustered he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He then closes his eyes, knowing damn well he’s far from feeling tired let alone fall asleep.
“We’re both adults anyways,” you mutter, but Joel doesn’t move. He’s probably actually tired.
Your gaze is affixed on him. He surely doesn’t look like he’s sleeping in peace right now but he’s still handsome nonetheless. His old shirt is a tad bit too tight around his biceps. You can see the protruding veins beautifully decorating his arms and hands. His legs are slightly crossing with one ankle on top of another, and his breath is steady. He’s gorgeous.
In your wildest dreams, you would jump to straddle Joel, and he would grab your hips and fuck you to death. Is it bad that your immune system is fighting one of the worst battles in your life, and yet your number one priority is somehow to get laid, by this man specifically? It’s both excruciating and foolish.
The movie you just saw doesn’t help, either. In fact, it makes everything worse. Your mind keeps wandering back to it, the way the man eats the woman out, and then back to Joel, imagining the top of his head would look like when he eats you out. Fuck. You know that if you don’t get to touch this man in the next 30 minutes, you are either going to combust or burn everything in the vicinity.
You close your eyes, try to do the mindfulness practice you once saw in a magazine. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. You repeat “Release me from this earthly desire” in your head like a rookie buddhist wizard trying to cast a spell with a broken wand. You ball your fists in your lap so hard the joints start to hurt.
It’s not working.
Your mind keeps wandering back to different scenarios, different positions, different spots around the house. Low grunts, fingertips pressing your sides, tongue between your lips…
You can’t do it anymore. You need release. You need to at least be able to feel something, a little reward for your throbbing clit. Trying your best to be as casual as possible, you pull your folded legs closer to your body, your left heel even closer to your biker-short-covered cunt, and shift your body weight on it.
The pleasure that has been building up there bursts like a balloon. You sigh.
There are two things that Joel is not: young, and oblivious.
Oh, he is totally aware of what’s happening. You are not doing a good job trying to be subtle. From the non-stop staring, to the constant fidgeting, to the borderline sexual sighs, to the hard nipples, Joel knows you are going through something that is completely different from just being ill.
And he totally understands. He’s been there, done that. There was a time when his back wasn’t hurting and his face hadn’t been ‘graced’ with crow’s feet and age spots yet, when his hormones were at all-time high and his blood liked nothing more than flowing to his cock recklessly at the slightest inducement. He understands what you are going through.
So when you start grinding yourself onto your left heel followed by soft moans, he is not exactly surprised, just mostly in awe of your debauched audacity.
That is too much, even for him. He clears his throat, hoping you’d catch the hint and stop for good. But you don’t, and your eyes are closed and your eyebrows are knitted together in concentration, and your hips are moving slowly, sensually, chasing something, the sight of it stirs something up in his guts.
It is vulgar, and most importantly indecent in every way, but Joel can feel his own arousal creeping up no matter how hard he tries to convince himself that it is not happening.
He calls your name. Your body responds faster than the critically thinking part of your brain and you stop like you just got cursed by Medusa.
You can physically feel your heart drop to your ass. Your neck moves stiffly to find his eyes like a broken animatronic. “Yeah?” you croak.
“Do you think I don’t know what you’re doin’?”
You blink. Deny? Act stupid? Admit? Deny, deny. Wait, deny? No, act stupid.
“What… Do you mean?” you say, and you realize that you chose the dialogue option that actually sounds the dumbest.
Joel clicks his tongue. “Might as well hump me if you want it that much.”
Wait, what? Your eyes light up. “Really?”
Joel stares at you in genuine perplexity before lifting one hand up to massage his temples. He takes a deep breath, and in the softest way possible—like telling a puppy she can’t eat electronic parts—sighs, “No.”
“Oh,” you cover your mouth. “I thought you meant—“
“Yeah, yeah. My bad.” he sighs again, sounding significantly more frustrated. He then uses his hands to support himself to a sitting position, composing himself.
Silence. You don’t dare to look at Joel, but your cunt keeps pulsing like a metal detector. You understand that the beeping—desire—will not die down unless you get the valuable artefact from the bronze age—Joel—in your hand. Is this time to be bold and brash?
“Joel,” you call, and you can swear that was not a sober decision, but the stage curtains have been pulled back, and you are pushed to the stage to play your part.
“Hm?”
“What if… I hump you anyway?” you stand up, and your knees are slightly buckling but you act tough and bold regardless.
Joel’s jaws opens and stays slightly agape for a while before he says, “That fever is really messin’ with your brain, huh? Sit down.”
“You’re bricked up, Joel.” you accuse. You don’t actually know for sure since Joel keeps a hand on his lap to cover his crotch, but Joel gulps. Gotcha.
“Unrelated to you.” he hisses in defense.
You scoff.
“Joel, please,” you grouse, voice cracking and desperate. “I want this so bad.” you whisper as you take slow, threatening steps towards Joel until your crotch is not even an inch away from his knee. “I want you so bad.”
“This ain’t right, kid.” Joel puts a hand on the outer side of your arm, and it’s worth pointing out that he’s shaking. “You know that.”
Joel doesn’t tell you that he’s battling demons in his head, and he’s currently losing. A million impulses are catapulting burning boulders onto the gate of his conscience, and all he got is one bleeding, sickly troop with a chipped wooden sword. But he puts his best stern expression despite the fact that his body is betraying him.
He could leave now. Push you away. Clear his head. Come back later. Or not come back at all.
But he knows he doesn’t want to. He can hear his blood rushing and his heart singing battle cry. Not to mention his cock, hard and nearly burns a hole through his jeans.
A long pause. You want to push him further, but you know you don’t need to. The black marlin printed on your shirt does a worthless attempt at distracting Joel from your hard nipples, putting him into a trance.
Joel takes a deep breath. He knows he has lost. “You can help yourself, that’s all,” he nods, more trying to convince himself rather than talking to you. “Just to make you shut up and get rest. That’s it.”
That’s an unenthusiastic barf-colored green light, but it is a green light nonetheless.
You put your hands on Joel’s shoulder before putting your left knee next to his right leg and lower yourself down onto his thigh, while your other knee rests in front of his crotch and presses onto his raging hard-on. Your cunt pulsates in pleasure upon contact, and you let out a gasp. Joel anxiously places his hands on your sides to keep you steady, one thumb ‘accidentally’ brushing your nipple, earning a whine. You lock gaze with him, and start moving.
The friction sends buzzes up your head. You make each grind count, and every single one feels like heaven despite the layers of fabric between your cunt and his beefy thigh. Moans and Joel’s name spill from your lips indeliberately, and he tightens his grip on your body until his fingertips turn white as if you would fly away with a gust of wind if he doesn’t. If you weren’t so absorbed in your own pleasure, you would’ve noticed how shallow and rapid Joel’s breath has become. It turns him on watching you getting off because of him, using him, how your eyelids flutter and your pupils are having a hard time staying in place.
Joel wants to break free from his denim, badly. While he consciously thought, planned, and stated that he’s doing what he’s doing only for your satisfaction and be done with it, it isn’t exactly nice having your kneecap pushing button-flies shaped caves on his crotch repeatedly. Especially not when his cock, which probably has its own brain, has been begging to be taken care of, too.
You, on the other side, are having the best time of your life. As your climax is building up in your south region, you smile at Joel, who smiles back. His hand leaves your ribs briefly to brush the hair that is sticking to your sweaty forehead away from your face.
“That feels good, doesn’t it?”
You nod weakly. “So good, Joel, so good,”
For a moment there you consider kissing him. His face is merely two inches away from you, and he looks ravishing, all sweaty and blushing. And how you just want to have your tongue inside his mouth, his lips all over yours sloppily. But that feels like overstepping boundaries, like a whole uncharted area you can’t cross, spreading the flu aside. You opt to put your chin on his shoulder instead, trying to focus on your orgasm.
“I want to see your face,” Joel says in your ear, his beard grazing your cheek. Takes you three whole seconds to process that, and when you do, it tingles your core. Before you can answer, he continues, “You’re so beautiful like this.”
You pull back, meeting his gaze with flushing cheeks. You don’t know what to say, and maybe you don’t have to. You continue to be dumbfounded when Joel stops your motion and helps you to stand up.
“Hold on,” he says as he undoes the buttons of his jeans. “I need to take these off.”
He quickly kicks the jeans off his legs, revealing a dark gray boxer briefs under. A wet patch adorns the bulge right in the center. He then manspreads and gestures for you to come back onto him, to which you comply. “C’mere,” he says, “I need to feel you on me.”
You straddle him, positioning your cunt right on his cock, and on everybody and their mother, it feels good. No, it feels right. Joel lets out a groan that cuts into a gasp when you start to grind. “Fuck, yeah,” he grabs your ass, helping you settle on a rhythm.
The contour of Joel’s cock, albeit still covered by the fabric of his boxer briefs, touches every last nerve ending of your cunt in such a different way that his thigh did. You pick your pace up, getting the pleasure to build up again.
“Joel, I’m gonna come,” you moan, voice quivering. You rake your fingers through his hair, your noses almost touching.
“Keep going, baby,” he says through a smile. “Don’t hold back. You sound so pretty.”
The encouragement is shooting up fireworks in your lower belly, and you start making more sounds. You’re close. So close.
“Makin’ me so hard all night, you,”
You whimper as you come, hips convulsing. Time slows down, and it feels like your cunt is pulled towards a strong gravitational force within your own body as you are sinking down a quicksand, all while pleasure forces your brain to reboot itself.
“That’s it, that’s it. There you go. You’re so good.”
Joel holds the back of your head while you’re laying on his chest, limp. When you pull yourself away from him, he presses a palm to your cheek, smiling. “Attagirl.”
When you finally gather yourself, you pull away from Joel, leaving a huge wet spot on where you just had your cunt on, and scoot to the spot next to him on the couch. You are about to lean onto his shoulder when he stands up and picks his jeans up from the floor. He sees the wet trail of arousal you left on the fabric in the thigh area and snickers.
“Damn, kid, you’re practically a snail,” he points to it. “Poor thing.”
You wince. “What are you doing?”
“Puttin’ my pants on?” he answers in the exact same tone, fixing the position of his boxer briefs.
“But you haven’t even come yet!” you protest. “What the fuck? Take them off!”
“That’s not what I agreed to, remember? I help you come so you’ll shut up and sleep. You’ve come, now shut up, and go to sleep.” he lays it out like basic math while you press the base of your palms onto your eyelids, confounded.
“You’re a sick person,” you shake your head, and then point to his crotch. “You’re literally still hard.”
“That has nothin’ to do with anythin’.”
You stare at the open space, like you’re trying to break the fourth wall in a sitcom. Can you believe this guy?
“Joel, your line is ‘I’m going to fuck you so hard.’ Now let’s start again from the top.”
Joel, who’s struggling trying to fit his bulge back in the jeans without hurting it, stops fussing with his button-fly shortly to push your head back—softly—to the couch. “Sleep,” he drags his palm over your face to close your eyelids.
“Joooooel,”
“Your line is ‘Yes, Joel, good night.’”
“Yes, Uncle Joel, good night, Uncle Joel,” you mock as you swiftly jump from the couch and pull his jeans down to his ankle and force him to step out of it. You hear Joel yelling hey, hey, hey as he tries to simultaneously fight you and not hurt you. You throw the pair of pants across the room with all your might and it lands with a loud thud.
“What are your pants made of, steel?”
“What is wrong with you?” he takes a step to fetch it, but you stand up and push him back to the couch. Joel is for sure going easy on you, because if he wanted to, he could definitely launch you through the walls. Instead, he just accepts his fate and stares at the ceiling, defeated.
“Nobody sleeps with jeans on, Joel,” you reach for the TV remote again. “Now let’s watch something again and then sleep.”
“We’re not watching the viking movie again.”
“We’re not watching the viking movie again,” you repeat. “We’re watching SpongeBob.”
Joel groans.
“What, you don’t like SpongeBob?”
“Not my era,” Joel says. “I watched Gumby. Tom and Jerry. The Muppet Show.”
“No wonder you act like the heckling old guys.”
“I don’t, but, sure,”
“Oh, you’re more like the eagle. So serious all the time.”
Joel rolls his eyes. You play the first episode of the first season of SpongeBob Squarepants, and the familiar intro begins. You take a look at Joel in the corner of your eyes, how he has one of his forearm on the top of his head, bicep almost as thick as his head. The other hand is resting on his thigh, and you can tell that he’s at least still half-hard. You wonder how he looks under those boxer briefs.
On the screen, Squidward and Mr. Krabs are climbing a post with a sea of raging anchovies under them. Joel’s lips slightly turn upward. Ha, eat that, Mr. Old Cartoon Head.
You shift so that you’re on your back, legs resting on Joel’s lap. He gives you a look, but doesn’t say anything. Minutes later, totally absorbed with SpongeBob pestering his neighbor with a reef blower, he has a hand on your ankle, caressing it without much thought.
They would have written about you in a Greek tragedy the way you’re consumed by greed and lust. When your toes stroke Joel’s bulge, totally by accident and not precalculated at all, you pretend like you’re captivated by the TV. It’s hard and you can definitely discern the ridge of possible veins and the head of his cock.
Joel exhales, sounding so done and tired. “I know you were going to do this,”
But he doesn’t push you away. And that excites you.
You don’t say anything or look away from the screen, but you keep rubbing the outline of his cock, which is now more visible and grows slightly larger, with the space between your big and index toe. Your brain automatically puts the ice clinking in a vase while SpongeBob is getting dry under Sandy’s treedome as background noise to amplify Joel’s restrained grunts.
You like this. You like having Joel wrapped around your finger. Soon after, you withdraw your legs and sit up, causing him to open his eyes over the sudden halt.
You stare at him, bold. “Would you like my mouth?”
Joel nods.
You don’t even wait for a second. Joel helps you take off his boxer briefs, the length of his hard-on springs out like jack-in-the-box. You admire how it looks, how the tip is totally sticky and glistening, before lowering your tongue. Joal lets out a sound akin to a whimper as you let your saliva ooze down the underside of his cock and quickly retrieve it into your mouth using your tongue. He tastes slightly salty, like sweat. And if you could smell better you’d see how hypnotizing his scent is, like calling you to stick his cock down your throat until the world collapses.
“That’s it,” Joel says, out of breath. His cock is now grazing the soft wall of your cheek, and he wonders how experienced you actually are because you definitely don’t act like an amateur. You use one elbow to support yourself, the other one taking turns massaging his balls and the base of his cock.
The only downside of this is that Joel can’t really look at your face. He craves the sight of you, how your lips are wrapped around his cock, and how your cheek is bulging like a squirrel full of him. One of his hands crawls up your back under your shirt, rubbing it before it finds a new target: your breasts. He kneads on one, thumb flicking the bud. You can’t help but moan and take him deeper, sending vibrations from your throat to his cock.
Joel knows he won’t last much longer, and he would very much like to keep this thing going as long as possible. So he asks you to stop, averting your disappointment by lifting up your shirt and sucking on one nipple. He’s surprisingly tender with it, taking his time. You reach a hand to his cock again, trying to at least get him off with your hand, but he pulls your wrists back and locks them on your sides.
“Joel,” you whine. “Fuck me. Please.”
“No can do,” Joel answers as his lips are trailing down to your stomach, where he peppers kisses all over. You scoot backwards and like reading your mind, he tugs the hem of your shorts down to your ankle before yanking it away, revealing your throbbing, desperate cunt. He then dives down, nose pressing against your mound as his tongue explores the new treasure island.
Just like in the movie.
You try to grab on something, anything, but the leather couch does nothing but squeaks, and Joel instinctively laces his fingers with yours. The view of the top of your head is exactly how you imagined it would be. The moans released from your lips are rather loud, especially when Joel creates a suction cup with his lips right on your clit.
“Joel, Joel,” you grasp his hands with all your might. “This is fucking unfair, I’m so— I’m gonna—”
Before you get to finish your sentence, your body already decides that it’s time for another release. Your heels are planted firmly against the couch as your hips lift to the air, and Joel lets go. He kneels before your cunt, pumps himself to oblivion and comes all over you before you get to collect yourself, staining your stomach and breasts. Later you’ll realize that the first spurt went a little bit rogue and landed on your hair.
“Fuck you, man,” you complain, sticking out a middle finger at him. “I was supposed to make you come.”
Joel rests his head on the couch armrest, eyes closed. “You did.”
“I meant technically,” you attempt to nudge him with your leg, but he dodges and stands up to grab the washcloth he used to compress you with earlier. He then wipes your stomach and breasts with it, the cold water making you squirm.
“What now?” you ask when he hands you your clothes.
“Sleep. It’s four in the mornin’.” he says as he puts his stained, sticky, wet boxer briefs on and sits on the recliner. So you can’t drive me mad anymore, he says.
You whine, but you realize that your eyelids are actually very heavy. “Blowjob first time in the morning?” you offer before letting yourself drift off.
“Thought you were s’pposed to be sick.” Joel shakes his head. But he grins.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller#dbf!joel#dbf!joel x reader#dbf!joel miller x reader#tlou#the last of us#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#dbf!joel miller
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the hot dad next door (m) | park sunghoon.
﹙ 🎬 ﹚ ぃ ────𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂?
preview. the ever quintessential first time dad moves in next door with his five year old and finds it impossible not to fall for you, the pretty girl who gives his daughter cookies and him; the doll eyes. obsessed with your entire being, unable to keep his hands off you, park sunghoon questions if he's just crazy or he's crazy over you.
or where, he notices the way you look at his hands a little too long for it to be innocent.
meet the cast. single dad!park sunghoon with his pretty neighbour fem!reader.
genre. DILFF AUU !!, SMUT MDNI, fluff, neighbours to lovers, sunghoon is quite literally yes insanely crazed over you and for the sake of god can't keep his dick soft, domestic a little bit i guess, i want to make her my wife trope EEEKKK, slight age gap (hoon in late twenties and reader in early twenties) more to be added.
word count. est around 20k or more
warnings. inaccuracies about parenting cause i aint a parent, i got no idea. more will be mentioned in the actual post.
releasing. TBD , progress update tag , second preview
park sunghoon was hot, he was a walking greek god. was single and wore these fitted suits that had you weak in the knees. if that wasn't hot enough, park sunghoon also had the cutest baby girl you had ever come across and it just made him hotter than he could ever have been.
"hey, um .. is ji—" sunghoon stands at the threshold of your open apartment door, one hand holding his creased blazer and the other rubbing at the back of his neck. embarrassed and shy at having to show up at yours looking like a mess after work because his daughter ran off while he was busy on a call and taking out her school bag from the backseat. and because everytime his daughter ran off, it was to the pretty girl next door who gives away sweet cookies all the time.
"is jia here? yeah she's in the kitchen," you answer, smiling soft and knowingly at the worried guy who barely looked like a dad. he worked in a corporate editorial, out before eight in the morning just as you prepared ingredients for your bakery. taking his daughter along to school, her excited voice resonating through the halls talking about how they were going to play with clay in class. around seven in the evening you'd hear her again, this time alone as she would skip over to your door because dada was too slow.
on weekends it'd be impossible to ignore the ruckus they made playing around, sometimes inviting you over for lunch because sunghoon apparently made too much and jia wanted to share her dada's delicious food. on some occasional weekends when he'd be called in to work for a few hours, jia would promise him to stay home and behave only to call you through the landline the moment he'd step out the door. and you would text sunghoon to come over to yours after work, his daughter munching on the new flavored cupcakes you made, unbothered about her dad and his scoldings.
"come on in, i made some almond lime tart, you could give me some feedbacks along with jia. you know she always says it's good and i can never know if it's actually good," sunghoon can't help but chuckle at that, slipping off his shoes by the front and walking inside. his eyes following your figure with a fond look as you tend to his daughter delicately, and might he admit— even more so than him.
you're sweet, you know how to handle kids; cue that one time jia was crying her eyes out after school and he had no idea what to do to comfort her, knocking at your door frantically and having his mind blown at how quickly you figured things out and calmed her down.
you're sweet, you know how to handle kids, you treat them both so well, always ready to help him out with jia, giving them sweet treats every other day and most of all— you're fucking pretty. way too pretty for him to handle.
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