#eight of them and they were very loud but also very funny. they were having such a good time.

[pretentiouswreckingball]

Reggie’s first train ride! 🌸🐧 🧢 💺❣️🚆

[luciferanalyzestar]

I love dark humor but HH is very lacking about expect the pilot for example the jolke about angel insults vaggie who asks if he is trying to be rasist oe sexist and he tells which make her more mad. Only joke I like in series it is when nifty told about how she torture insects and nobody catch her because they are too afraid.

The comparation between hh heaven and P&S one is beacuse the main character act rude and sinful but big point they are been kicked out ! Heaven don't approve but in same time there is episode where a demon ascend , so P&S heaven is good place.

The funny thing i don't consider HH!heaven corropt sure they made extemination, in secret so we don't know what all population thinking about, and without extremination sinners would be dangerous because Hell is just amusement park for evil, imp company make their money killing humans by commision from sinners, if they could they do themselcves. Hell is full of worst , for examople when vaggie was suppost to be protitue for me, that heaven was corropt because prostitue should be hold accontoble like pimp, serial killer, gangster

I like dark / general fuck up humor too. For example, the life lesson parody channel Tomorrow's Teachings. That channel has made me laugh out of loud so many times due to how absurd the plots are. I do not like every joke made in those videos though and they can cross into tasteless or too fucked up if you know about that channel's history.

For a show set in Hell, Hazbin is lacking in the dark humor category. The only joke that got a giggle out of me was in episode one when Niffty freezes up when the camera is on her and I like how it comes back at the end of episode eight. I like to me a good call back.

This show never made me laugh. I found those Gen Alpha parody songs that were made when the show was released to be funny. So many of them live in my head rent free. Also, I have watched this voice over parody more than the actual show. Makes me laugh every time, it is so stupid. /lh

Back on topic, I wish the show had more character-based humor and maybe dry/deadpan humor. There are many forms of humor. Focusing on just on one type can make your show dull.

The funny thing i don't consider HH!heaven corropt sure they made extemination, in secret so we don't know what all population thinking about, and without extremination sinners would be dangerous

I wonder what the reaction would be if the exterminations are revealed to Winners. Will they be against it, for it, or neutral. This is probably will be explore when Molly [Angel's twin sister] gets introduce. Like would she care that there is a chance that her brothers and father will be killed by angels? It is also a headscratcher that she is in Heaven. She is a spider like the rest of her family, meaning she had a part in crimes her father or brothers committed. We just have to put a pin in that until Season 2.

Hell is full of worst , for examople when vaggie was suppost to be protitue for me, that heaven was corropt because prostitue should be hold accontoble like pimp, serial killer, gangster.

I think I mentioned before, I think in my Charlie blog post, but I wish Hell and Heaven had clear set rules on what gets you set to those places. The unfortunate implications of that being a sex worker gets you sent to Hell is horrible. I hope when we see more of Heaven it is revealed that sex work exists in Heaven like in the form of OF models.

[toulousewayne]

Batfamily Shenanigans:Head-canons Pt: 4

The Wayne family attends Gala all the time. Some have for years, but that doesn’t mean that all enjoy them. Bruce and Damian attend them purely for appearances, Dick is there to kept his siblings from burning down the building, Jason always sneaks in as different undercover identities, Tim has to go because he has to also keep up appearances but most of the time you will find him indirectly call the investors idiots. Duke and Steph are at the snack table, Cass sticks next to Babs at the table and they watch the chaos together. Alfred joins them sometimes.

It comes as to no shock that Tim has severe Narcolepsy, but Dick and Bruce have insomnia.

Damian watched Tim while he sleeps. No one knows when he started but he always tells the other it’s because Tim is prone to falling. Which is lie but no one ever stops him.

Stephanie is very skilled mechanic, sometimes when there’s down time she’s found repairing or working on of the bat bikes or the Batmobile.

Dick Grayson is color blind. It’s only when he comments on Stephanie’s brown sweater that Jason points out to him. Barbara and Bruce knew the whole time and just thought he was doing it to be funny, it comes as a shock to Dick though.

Duke and Cass go to the flee market every Sunday. The buy fresh produce and eggs for Alfred. Cass even thrifts a few clothing pieces.

Speaking of Clothes, no one has all their clothes anymore. Jason’s hoodies are always stole from the manor, his safehouses in the city and out of the country it doesn’t matter. They’ll usually end up in Cass, Tim or Steph’s closet. Dick’s T-shirts are public domain at this point because all his siblings have at least one of them. Barbara can never find her fuzzy socks until she visit the manor next and find them on Damian and Stephanie’s feet. Tim’s jewelry is always around Cass’ neck. Damian is the only safe because no one can fit his stuff but he does get Duke and Tim’s clothes they’ve outgrown.

Cass will sometimes spend time with Alfred in the cave repairing the suits. She’s very good at sewing.

Selina is lactose intolerant, Bruce finds this hilarious.

Duke took dance classes sense he was eight. He can dance the waltz, break dance, ballet, jig, salsa, and a few others.

Bruce allowed Tim create the design of the newest bat tech.

Alfred enjoys his tea with sugar and crème, Damian of course likes sugar and lemon. They have weekly tea parties in the sunroom with Alfred the cat and Titus.

Dick has the most mixed playlist of songs. So, whether he’s on a steal out with Bruce, driving Damian to soccer practice, or even just cleaning his apartment by himself he’s got something for everyone.

Barbara loves Amy Winehouse, she plays her record several times a day in the Clocktower.

While on the subject of music, Tim can sing and it was very embarrassing when his family found out. Tim was in his room singing with his headphones on but his door was open and he didn’t realize how loud he was. Dick and Steph came across him singing. Stephanie record it and sent it to the group. Tim was embraced by his family for his beautiful voice and they wanted to hear more, but poor Tim wanted the world to swallow him whole. Jason can play guitar and Dick can’t sing well but he can also play guitar in addition to the bass.

Damian is able to find his family with little tech involved. The OG Titans came back to the tower after helping Donna with a mission and Robin was perched in their living room. He gave Wally a heart attack. Tim was having a game night with Conner,Bart, and Cassie and the scream Bart unleashed when they found Damian in the kitchen starring at the pizza boxes on the counter and questioned Tim on lack of a proper diet.

Clark has nearly broken the sound barrier twice over not being able to hear Bruce’s heartbeat. Luckily both times Bruce had to slow his heart rate to be near death to escape sticky situations and both were ended due to a worried Krypton.

“I wanted Red Claw to think I was dead, I had to slow my heart rate to throw her off.”

“AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO SAY THAT TO ME, I WAS IN AUSTRALIA?”

Speaking of the Man of Steel, when Dick was freshly Robin and before Clark married Lois, the Boy Wonder tried to set up his father and Clark on several blind dates. Once he canceled a date of Bruce’s and rescheduled a business dinner for Clark and the two ended up on a romantic balcony date in Metropolis. They were both shocked and a blushing mess. It got worse when the waiter address the “Happy Couple” has was instructed from the reservation that Dick set.

Robin got an ear full the next morning from Bruce but to Dick it was worth it and even Alfred may have pulled a string or two.

Another time Bruce couldn’t watch Dick and Alfred was visiting London for the next week and Bruce had to Wayne Enterprises Event. He asked Clark if he could watch Dick for the night and of course he offered.

Not even five minutes after he left did Dick turn to Clark,”So, your dating my Father?”

Clark was as red as his cape and he tried to explain to Dick they are just friends. “Whatever you say Clark, but just curious would you take his last name or will he take yours? Because honestly I don’t see why you can’t use both—“

Clark cover his face as the young bird continued to show his support for his favorite ship.

“Are you also gonna adopt me too now?”

“Okay, time to see what time your Father’s coming back.” He sighed.

[ivy-diaries]

⋆ REALLY LIKE YOU is the NINTH mini album by IVY. it was released on APRIL 4TH 2024. this mini album has nine tracks, a total of 29 minutes.

IVY performed the title track, "really like you" for five weeks. the title won ten music show wins. She performed the b-side "Bam Yang Gang" for another five weeks because of how viral it went. The b-side won six music show wins.

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. TRACKLIST !!!◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

˒ Really like you

˒ Bam Yang Gang

˒ Rest

˒ Popo (how deep is our love?)

˒ Pillow

˒ Dream feat. baekhyun

˒ Melody

˒ Warmth of Love

˒ Epilogue

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. STYLING !!!◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. ALBUM CONTENTS !!!◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

photobook ( 120 pages ) ⋆ four random photocards out of twenty eight ⋆ three random mini poster out of nine ⋆ one lyric book ⋆ one mini keychain ( ᝰ ) ⋆ two sticker sheets ⋆ two poster out of five

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. HIGHLIGHTS !!!◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

when it was announced that ivy was coming back, the fans were really excited because it was the same time as most of her close friends including txt!

this was ivy's first comeback after her wedding in November. the fans who were present for the music show recordings, were in awe when she showed them her ring! the moment was also captured in the inkigayo behind the scenes fotage

the first music show interaction was with indeed her hubby and fans were so glad that fans caught the interaction just because how cute it was. the couple was seen talking about how they didn't have any milk in their house! the fans burst out laughing and it is only then that the couple realized that they had their mic on

this era, in fans opinion, brought in the most interactions with other idols or her friends with ivy. ivy did her challenge for this comeback with almost every single one of the idols that were promoting during the same time as her or if they weren't? she went to her house to do it. soleils swore that they stan a mad women and that they're proud of it!

when soleils asked her about that tour she promised them, she laughed and asked them to wait a little longer and that it's in the works!

ivy was still promoting when ttpd was released and txt who was in the dance studio with ivy when the album dropped, say that they've never heard anybody scream that loud. the moment was caught on a txt vlog and fans can see that beomgyu drops the sandwich he was eating, soobin fliches and kai screams and yeonjun looks surprised and alarmed for a second but looks like it's just another day for him. taehyun, who was not in the room, came bolting in hearing the scream. ivy just laughed at the others reactions when all of them were just playfully scolding her.

for a performance, baekhyun surprised even ivy with a surprise appearance at music bank to perform dream with her. fans were so excited to get an interaction between them and their ears were blessed with the beautiful vocals of the two vocal gods of kpop.

ivys last performance was a chaotic to see the very least. she performed with her crew, aka her managers, stylists etc. and they just ended up laughing looking at eachother almost every 5 minutes and netizens, even korean netizens who are known to be really brutal, even found it really funny.

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. PHOTOCARDS !!!◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. TAGLIST !!!◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

@stealanity @alixnsuperstxr @riikiblr @escapetheash (lmk if you wanna be added)

[atths--twice]

Adding to the Fund

Working in a restaurant can be stressful and tiring, but it can also lead to a relationship that was not expected.

Fictober Day 14

Prompt- That's all? Easy.

Sunrise and Sunset, the restaurant on Baker Street was packed. Sundays were always busy, and sometimes stressful, but thankfully the patrons tipped better on those days. 

Well, some of them, Dana Scully thought, rolling her eyes as she picked up the tip from table nineteen. 

It had been a group of older women who had complained about nearly everything: the amount of ice in their glasses of water, the lack of a butter substitute, the temperature of the coffee, and their meals- all for different reasons. 

“Young lady,” one of the women had said, crooking her finger at Dana to come closer. “This bread is far too toasted. I can’t eat this. Take it back and bring me a new sandwich.” 

She had taken the sandwich to the back, swearing as she replaced only the top slice of toasted bread. Waiting a minute to calm down, she had smiled as she brought it back to the woman. 

“Hope this is okay,” she had said and the woman only hummed in reply, her eyebrows raised. 

But she ate everything on the plate, didn’t she? Dana thought, shaking her head. 

Bringing the dishes to the back, she sighed as she added the receipt to the paperwork for the day. 

“Any tip from that party?” a voice asked and she turned to look at Fox Mulder, a fellow worker, his arms laden with plates. 

“Yeah. Two whole dollars. On a sixty eight dollar tab, I might add. Oh, and they also left me a note.” 

“To join them at their church?” he asked, shuddering as he set the plates down. 

“Not this time, no,” she laughed, knowing how often it did happen on a Sunday. “Here.” She handed him the note and he read it out loud. 

“My grandson works in a law firm. He’s very busy and finds looking for a girlfriend to be tedious. I’m sure he would enjoy your company, once he got to know you. 574-1296.” He looked at her, his eyes wide. “Oh, well this one deserves to go up on the board.” 

“No, Fox,” she said, trying to take it from him. 

“Why not?” he asked, holding it out of her reach. “You're not going to call him are you?” His mouth dropped open in mock horror and she shook her head. 

“Not for many reasons, but especially because with that many red flags, you know he’s a douchebag of a person.” 

“Then why? You have others up there. And so do I.” He pointed to the bulletin board on the wall where notes from patrons were kept, especially when they were particularly cringy or funny. “I think this one could make it to the top.” 

“No,” she said, stepping closer to him to take the note out of his hand. “This one just… it makes me feel… I don’t like it. I don’t like thinking that they could treat me shitty the entire time they were here and then suggest I call their grandson, who finds dating tedious. Like I deserve less than from a man who is apparently better than me. It’s gross.” 

“It is. I’m sorry I joked about it,” he said and she nodded as she tore up the obnoxious note and threw it away. 

“There. Gone. Reset,” she said, letting out a deep breath. “Their two dollars will gladly join the Dana Scully eats tonight fund.” He smiled and she smiled back. 

“Fox! Tables twelve and fifteen, orders up. Look alive,” Raul, the head cook called out. 

“Coming,” Fox called back and Dana walked with him. He gave her a confused look and she smiled. 

“I’m heading back out. I’ll help you then see to my tables.” 

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” he said, picking up the plates and lining them up his arm. “I’ve got fifteen. You’ll like twelve better.” 

“Okay,” she laughed, setting the plates along her arm as well and carrying the last plate in her hand. 

At the door, he nodded for her to go first and she smiled her thanks. 

When she was walking to table twelve, she saw why he had given it to her. There was a chubby, bald headed baby sitting in a high chair biting on a plastic toy and a little boy who was drawing on the back of the kids menu. 

“Hello, I’m Dana,” she said as she stood at the table. “Fox was busy so I offered to help him out. Who had the ham and cheese omelet?” 

“Right here,” the husband said, reaching for the plate. “My wife has the French toast and Davy here has the pancakes and bacon.” 

“Perfect. Here you all go,” she said, setting their plates down. She smiled at the boy who looked up at her and kept staring, his green eyes wide. 

“You look like Ariel,” he said in awe. 

“Oh!” she said in surprise. 

“I’m so sorry,” his dad said quickly. “Davy, you don’t just-”

“That’s okay,” Dana said, smiling at Davy. 

“But Ariel’s hair is down, not up,” Davy said. “But it’s red like yours. Do you have blue eyes?” 

“Davy!” his mom admonished him, but Dana only laughed. She squatted down beside him, smiling as she looked at him. 

“Well?” she asked and he leaned forward, looking into her eyes and smiling. 

“You do,” he whispered. “Are you a mermaid?” 

“Not at the moment, because I’m in a restaurant,” she whispered back. “But when I get into the water…” Her eyes widened and then she winked. 

“Like magic?” 

“Like magic,” she nodded and Davy’s smile grew. “But you can’t tell anyone except your mom and dad, promise?” 

“Promise,” he said, nodding emphatically. 

“Will you do the special mermaid handshake to bind the promise and keep my secret safe?” 

“Yes! Yes, I will!” He clapped excitedly and Dana smiled. 

“Okay. So, we do it like this.” 

She took his hand and shook it, then locked their fingers together, thumbs pointing up, then released his hand, waving her fingers up and down like a mermaid tail swimming away. 

“Show me again,” he whispered and she smiled, taking his small hand into hers again, perfecting the handshake before leaving their table to check on her own section. 

Back in the kitchen with her next set of orders, she smiled at Fox who nodded with a wink. 

At her break, she stepped outside behind the restaurant, needing a moment of fresh air. Standing in the sunshine, her head tilted back and her eyes closed, she heard the door open and close. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey yourself,” she said and Fox chuckled as he came to stand beside her. She opened her eyes and he smiled at her. “Thank you for giving me that table earlier. It’s just what I needed after-”

“Two bucks, Betty?” 

“Exactly,” she said with a laugh. 

“Good. I’m glad it helped.” 

“The little boy thought I looked like Ariel.” 

“Hmm,” Fox hummed, staring into her eyes. “He’s not wrong. But you’re much prettier.” 

“Because I’m not an animated drawing?” she teased and he laughed, his fingers brushing against hers before locking together loosely, causing her heart rate to increase. 

“That and you just are.” 

“Okay.”

“I really wanna kiss you,” he whispered, his grip on her fingers tightening slightly. 

“After you didn’t last night, which was a huge mistake by the way-” 

“I agree completely,” he said, nodding his head vigorously. “I… I hesitated too long.” 

“You did,” she agreed. 

“I was nervous. I thought maybe it was just me who was feeling…” He stopped talking when she smiled and shook her head. She squeezed his fingers, interlocking their hands further. 

“It’s not just you,” she admitted and he exhaled as he nodded. “I thought being in a group setting like we were, would help me loosen up enough to at least ask you to dance.”

“Which it did.” 

“Well, the alcohol definitely helped with that,” she said with a laugh. 

“That’s all it takes?” he teased. 

“Easy,” she warned and he laughed, both of them then falling silent. 

“I thought you said you wanted to kiss me,” she said quietly and he drew in a deep breath. 

“I do. Very much.” 

“Well, my break will be over soon and so will yours. You might-”

His lips touched hers softly, then more firmly as their kiss deepened. He let go of her hand and placed it onto the back of her neck, holding her close. She moaned as she wound her arms around his neck, her heart pounding. 

“Hmm,” she hummed when they broke from the kiss, his forehead pressed gently against hers. “That was good.” 

“It was,” he said with a quiet chuckle and she smiled. 

They sat down at the picnic table bench provided for employees to use during their breaks, talking and kissing until their break was over. 

Taking her hand, he pulled her to her feet, kissed her one more time, and walked to the door. 

“Oh,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “The family with the little boy asked me to give this to you.” He handed her the kids menu that had been folded into a small square. “I’m sure this one will be better than the one you got earlier.” 

She smiled as she opened it and then gasped when she found ten dollars inside. 

“Oh,” he said in delighted surprise as she began to read the note that was written in blue crayon. 

“Thank you for showing me the special mermaid handshake. I won’t tell anyone your secret. I hope I can see you again some time. Love, Davy. P.S. I’m four and a half. Oh, isn’t that just…?” She sniffled, blinking back tears as she read it to herself again. 

“A much better note,” he said and she laughed softly, tracing her fingers over the drawing of a mermaid that Davy had made. She had big blue eyes and red hair drawn in a similar style to Dana’s. 

“An incredibly kind note,” she replied, folding it back up, with the money inside, and placing it into her pocket. 

“And the money adds to the Dana Scully eats tonight fund,” he said and she shook her head. 

“No, this money will go into a different fund.” 

“Which fund is that?” he asked as they walked inside and put on their aprons. 

“The… Dating Fox Mulder fund?” she asked tentatively and he paused as he was tying the strings of the apron behind his back. Grinning, he nodded as he finished the task. 

“Only if it can be combined with the one I already have.” 

“Which is that?” she asked, tying her own strings. 

“The Just ask her out already fund,” he said with a grin. 

She laughed loudly, covering her mouth and looking around, but no one had noticed. 

“Yes,” she agreed, stepping close and squeezing his hand. “We can combine them.” 

“Good,” he said, squeezing back. “And it will be my treat tonight because I’ve got quite a bit in there. It pays to be somewhat of a nervous coward.” 

She laughed and shook her head, walking beside him to the kitchen, as his hand rubbed gently at the small of her back. 

[skullsterritory]

Hi guys. My splatoon agent headcanons if you even care ALL OF THEM ARE AROACE FOREVER

Captain / Agent 3 - they/he/she aroace genderfluid, 19yo

5'10" Inkling

He's not mute she just. Prefers to not speak because their voice is very quiet and they don't like raising it so they prefer to use sign language

They like to keep to themself and she avoids talking to others unless he Has To. He is awkward as all hell and she dreads the idea of Interacting With Other Beings oooohhh the googlies

SHE'S TRYINF HER BEST. AS CAPTAIN. He has never done this in their life they're NEW TO THIS guys

THE AUTISM BLASTER + depression

Still feels guilty as hell about the fact they almost beat Eight to death and they apologize for it as much as he possibly can

Caffeine drinker 4000

People look at her and go like "Girl what happened to your face" and he shoots them a death glare and they shut up

Introverted

Agent 4 - they/she aroace demigirl, 16yo

Shortest of the agents. Like 4'11". Pipsqueak Inkling

Im going to be honest she doesn't know what she's doing but they try their best so it's ok we forgive them

AUDHD 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

They have a loud voice and people have to tell them to be quiet and it makes her sad

Her favorite activity is frolicking /j unless

They tried to smuggle an Octarian (specificslly an Octoball, which they heard about from Captain then promptly ran off to find) to keep as a pet and moped for like weeks when they were told that they can't do that and it isn't legal

She really really likes talking to people and goes on for hours about the randomest shit ever and people love her for thst

SLEEPS LIKE A DEAD PERSON like. In the family guy death pose too. It's ok guys they're alive

Has vocal stims like "YOU USED TO CALL ME ON YOUR CELLPHONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥" and "I'm 1! Boioioing" (I am projecting)

Full of childish whimsy and wonder

She's surprisingly tough for someone so small

Extroverted

Agent 8 - they/them aroace nonbinary, 16yo

5'7" Octoling

Selective mutism. Sometimes they talk sometimes they're like ☝️☝️☝️☝️👂👂

Inklings SCARE THEM. The googlies. They arent scared scared but very intimidated

OTH #2 fan only second to Agent 4 who is the world's biggest fangirl

AUTISM ✌️✌️✌️😇😅😀😃😆😀😅😀🤣🤣🤣🫠 And anxiety and ptsd too I think

Shy as all hell I think they'd rather get crucified than make a phone call (4 usually helps them with that since theyre like. Roommates or something isnt that canon I forget)

They really like gardening even though theyre kind of bad at it there's just like a bunch of dead plants all over their house (they don't know they're dead)

SCARY GOOD AT FUCKINH. SQUID CANDY CRUSH AND SQUID BEATZ

They can't play piano. At all. Theyve tried so many times they can't do it

After the events of Side Order they have gained a strong dislike of gelatin

They keep insisting it's fine and they're not mad at Captain but he does NOT listen and keeps apologizing

Introvert

Neo Agent 3 - they/it agender aroace, 14yo

5'4" Octoling

THE SCURRIER

AuDHD 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Completely mute. Doesn't really know sign language either and doesn't show any interest in wanting to learn because apparently everyone understands them just fine

It zones out really often and kind of just. 😐😐😐😐

It is SCARILY flexible. Them after contorting their body in ways not even squid jesus could imagine (it thinks it's funny)

Smuggled a Smallfry out of Salmon Run and is banned from Salmon Run (Also for beating the shit out of Mr. Grizz and squidbagging him after)

They draw pictures of their friends a lot and everyone's (especially Captain's) walls are covered in little doodles of them

It looks up to Captain a lot. They think 4 is nice and they think 8 is just. Really badass they also want to save the world not once but twice

It squidbags people it doesn't like COUGH MR GRIZZ COUGH

Introvert (as far as everyone is aware)

The end 😝😝

[autie-hobbit]

Some TUA Fic Recs!

These are some of my absolute favourite “Umbrella Academy” fanfics! All of these fics are finished, except for one. Please note that most of the tags I am including are not all of the tags on the fic, they are mostly the general ones and warning ones. Also, all of the word counts have been rounded. (all fics are on ao3)

“Against the Waves” by noodlerdoodler | Rated T | 3,200 Words | Main Relationship: Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Fluff, Nightmares | Synopsis: 

“Charming. Isn’t my company entertaining enough for you?” Dramatically, Klaus threw up a hand against his forehead and collapsed onto his bed as if he were wounded.

“Don’t be an ass,” His brother rolled his eyes but there was a fond expression on his face, “You know that some of us aren’t actually nocturnal?”

Klaus stuck his tongue out, “What are you doing up then?”

Instantly, his brother’s defences snapped back up and he scowled, “I t-t-t-tol-tol-told y-y-you th-“

Whatever his excuses were, Klaus couldn’t be bothered to hear them. As lowly as the others thought of him, he was actually pretty intuitive and it was obvious the real reason Diego was out of bed was because something was bothering him. He wasn’t one to just wander around after hours for no reason- that was more Klaus’s gig. Whatever it was had really gotten under his skin. Unfortunately, his brother was too emotionally constipated to say what was on his mind. 

| Comments: Very sweet. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519572

“Business Man'' by Cate_Olivyn | Rated T | 6,800 Words | Main Relationship: Five Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Major Character Death, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Intoxication, Ghosts, Temporary Character Death | Synopsis: 

“Terminate David and Klaus Katz.”

Five ignored the pang of guilt that accompanied the name, because it was only a stranger with his brother’s name. He ignored the ugly feeling in his chest when he saw his mark, and he looked so much like the man he left to rot in the apocalypse.

But he can’t ignore the pain in his brother’s eyes when he talks about a love lost, and a life in another time. 

| Comments: Pain. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40455777

“Firestarter” by Melivian | Rated T | 8,900 Words | Main Relationship: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Minor Violence, Drug Addiction, Past Character Death, Deteriorating Relationships | Synopsis: 

"It's funny," Klaus said. "You start out with something so great. And you think it'll stay great forever, so you'll do anything to hang onto it, you know? But then one day you realize it's turned into something else when you weren't looking. And you don't know whose fault it is, or how to make it right again. All you know is that you're holding the same pieces, but suddenly they don't fit together anymore."

Ben said nothing.

"What happened to us, Ben?"

~~~

Ben, Klaus, and two very different Halloweens eight years apart. 

| Comments: Heartbreaking, but good. A character study of Klaus and Ben's relationship. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34527199

“I can die when I’m done” by Kaufmann | Rated T | 3,300 Words | Main Relationship: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Missing Scene, Panic Attacks, Flashbacks | Synopsis: 

Klaus breathed quickly through his nose, panting and panicking. At his side, Ben was muttering assurances of comfort, telling him to calm down. But Klaus couldn't calm down, because the closet was too small and dark and reminded him of the mausoleum and he would be locked in there, alone with ghosts and...

Klaus writhed violently, shouting as loud as he could with the tape in his mouth, looking at Blue and Pink in panic and fear. [...] Klaus shouted once again, choking on his breath and the tears that threatened to suffocate him, a chorus of no, no, no, no in his mind.

Or

In the show, after Klaus reveals the little information he knew to Hazel and Cha-Cha, we have a time jump and in the next scene, he's locked in a small closet in the motel room.

But what happened after he revealed the information? How did he end up in the closet? How did he handle the long hours locked up until Hazel and Cha-Cha came back late at night? How did he handle the guilt of telling about Five? How did he handle flashbacks and panic attacks? 

| Comments: More pain. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32148223

“Relics in Amber'' by bacondoughnut | Rated T | 8,400 Words | Main Relationship: Dave Katz/Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Past Rape/Non-Con, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus and Dave in Vietnam, Drug Use, Alcoholism, Angst, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | Synopsis:

 "Klaus," Dave tries tentatively.                                     

He almost asks if Klaus is okay, but the answer's already clear enough, and that question dies on his tongue. He can't immediately think of anything else to say though, and the silence makes Klaus's quiet whimpering all but deafening.                                         

And Dave doesn't know how to handle this.                               

Or; the one where Klaus has a very bad night, and Dave is there to help. 

| Comments: One of the first Klaus/Dave fics I read. Quite sad, but very soft. I’ve read this fic multiple times, it just hits all the spots. (this fic is locked, so you can only read it if you’re logged in)|

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40237791

“Single Red Thread” by riverwrenwrites | Rated T | 38,000 Words | Main Relationship: Dave Katz/Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Vampire AU, Soulmates, Reincarnation, Canon-Typical Violence, Mild Gore, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort | Synopsis: 

In 1716, Klaus has lost the love of his life in a horrible tragedy and found himself cursed with immortality. 

In 2019, Dave and his hunting partner Elliot are investigating a number of disappearances, and when they find themselves face to face with the vampire they think is behind it, Dave can't shake the feeling that he's met this man before... 

| Comments: I don’t usually read AUs, and especially not AUs like this, but I like this writer and I was going through all of their TUA stuff. Very cute. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28650759

“Sneaking Out for Snowmen” by MalecAcid | Rated G | 800 Words | Main Relationship: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Fluff, Pre-Canon | Synopsis: 

"We should build a snowman." Diego said, excitedly clapping his cold hands together.

OR

Nothing but fluff ensues when Diego, Klaus, and Ben sneak out to build a snowman. 

| Comments: Cute. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28308621

“Someday (c’est la vie, c’est la vie)” by JaggedEmeraldsOfGold | Rated G | 5,200 Words | Main Relationship: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Pre-Canon, Fluff, No Incest | Synopsis: 

“Because I don’t go memorizing locations of old board games, especially when they’re in a dumpster,” Ben says, and Klaus doesn’t deign that with a response, instead climbing the precariously balanced trash bag pile, one hand reaching for the top edge of the dumpster while the other clutches the thin cardboard box to his chest. He drops himself over the edge, and lets himself fall on his ass onto the cement, hoping there isn’t something he wouldn’t voluntarily sit in waiting for him. There isn’t, he finds, and he climbs to his feet as Ben appears next to him, all collected and unbothered and otherwise immaculate.

“Come come!” Klaus tells him, and starts down the alley, away from the dumpster, staggering a few steps until he regains his footing. “Diego will love this, we’ll have a bunch of fun, and he’ll thank me for the relaxing break from work.”

“He isn’t— he won’t,” Ben calls after him, but Klaus feels him follow him out of the alley and back to the McDonald’s anyways.

Or: 21 year old Klaus and Diego (and Ben) chilling in a car, and then a McDonald's. 

| Comments: Also cute. I’m a sucker for these three. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32896588

“Something Blue” by lemur_catta | Rated T | 2,200 Words | Main Relationship: Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Childhood Trauma | Synopsis: 

Diego angsts his way through Allison's wedding to Patrick, unable to curb his growing disconnection from Klaus. (Takes place pre-season 1, 2013-ish.) 

| Comments: Sad. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41289621

“Ten Months” by Majure | Rated M | 150,000 Words | Main Relationship: Dave Katz/Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Minor Character Death, Klaus and Dave during Vietnam, Period-Typical Homophobia, Drug Use, Alcoholism, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Explicit Sex, Ghosts | Synopsis: 

It makes him sad, sometimes, that in order to find acceptance, Klaus has to travel back fifty years into one of the bloodiest wars of American history. Most of the time, he doesn't care. His family probably doesn't even notice he's missing anyway.

---

Dave is looking at him, eyes soft and heavy lidded. “What did you say to that guy?” he asks, head resting on the wall, body turned towards Klaus.

“Ah,” Klaus laughs, dropping his hand to take a drink. “Just mouthed off. You know how I am.”

“That mouth will get you in trouble some day,” Dave says softly.

Klaus looks up, swallowing. “Some people like my mouth,” he says.

“I do.” 

| Comments: This fic is not finished, and has not been updated in 2 years, but it is well worth it, I promise! I read it twice in two months, and it gave me all the emotions. I had to stop at one point because I started crying (I don’t cry while reading fics very often). Very good fic. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18214736

“The Wedding That Never Was” by Cate_Olivyn | Rated T | 2,500 Words | Main Relationship: Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Grief/Mourning, Intoxication, Missing Scene | Synopsis: 

Allison leaves the wedding after her argument with Viktor with a plan: take a bottle of booze and lock herself in her room where no one can bother her. This plan takes an unexpected turn when she finds Klaus half conscious in the upstairs hallway. 

| Comments: A little cathartic to be honest. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40268313

“The Zoo Is Better When It’s Not Dead” by sharkneto | Rated G | 11,000 Words | Main Relationship: Five Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Sibling Bonding | Synopsis: 

Klaus needs a distraction from missing Ben. Five needs a distraction from... well, everything. Somehow, that means a day at the zoo. 

| Comments: Actually acknowledges Five’s trauma, wow, a miracle. Very sweet, though a little disturbing at points. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32488858

“Things That We Got Wrong” by evesbeve | Rated T | 22,000 Words | Main Relationship: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Pre-Canon, Drug Use, Overdose, No Incest, Hurt/Comfort, Angst | Synopsis: 

Ben suposes death isn't the weirdest thing that has happened to him. Becoming best friends with Klaus though? That he never would have guessed. 

| Comments: *cries* I love them, your honour! |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794943

“Trouble Child” by ToriAnne | Rated M | 65,000 Words | Main Relationship: Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone | Important Tags: Temporary Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Canon, Post-Season 3, Body Horror | Synopsis: 

The tentative peace between the Hargreeves siblings and their father is disrupted when Klaus returns from an unexpected trip to the afterlife with his powers restored. In the ensuing struggle, Klaus could be Five's greatest advantage, which turns him into Reginald's number one target.                    Hargreeves now remembers both his timelines, after all, and he is keenly aware that the most overlooked aspect of Klaus' abilities could lead to his downfall. 

| Comments: Very good. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41254302

“Who You Gonna Call..?” by riverwrenwrites | Rated T | 130,000 Words | Main Relationship: Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Buddy Cop AU, Murder Mystery, Fluff, Angst, Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Sibling Bonding, No Incest, Mild Gore | Synopsis: 

At the ripe old age of 25, Diego is still struggling with that age-old problem of balancing work and pleasure. Especially when, for him, work is being a desk-bound police detective, and pleasure is running around back alleys as a masked vigilante. Lucky for him, he may have just stumbled on the perfect unsolvable case that will finally have him taking his career seriously. Unlucky for him, the only hope he has of cracking said unsolvable case lies with his drug riddled, party going, fashion innovator of a brother. 

| Comments: First long fic I read! Very good, have read multiple times. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18371999

Honourable Mentions: These are some of the WIPs I’m reading.

“Chained” by Salvador_Daley | Rated M | Currently 50,000 Words | Main Relationship: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves | Important Tags: Pre-Canon, Murder Mystery, Angst, Drug Use, Blood and Injury | Synopsis: 

“Hey, er…” He’s forgotten the boy’s name. Something with a G. Was it Gavin? Or Garth? “Hey, buddy. I got somewhere to be, but if you wake up now we can go for round two before I have to leave.”

Twenty-two-year-old Klaus Hargreeves awakes following a one-night stand with an enigmatic young artist.

Apart from a stinking hangover, he now has two problems: he possesses almost no memory of the night before and there’s a gruesome surprise in the bed.

Accused of a horrific crime, and with the police watching his every move, he faces a race against time to clear his name.

If he can only stay sober long enough to patch together the memories of that night, he might just stand a chance. 

| Comments: Hasn’t updated in a few months, but I have hope. Has you on the edge of your seat and suspicious of everyone. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34364929

“Where You Gonna Run To?” by ToriAnne | Rated T | Currently 43,000 Words | Main Relationship: Just the Brellies with each other | Important Tags: No Paradox AU, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Recreational Drug Use, Non-Linear Narrative, Domestic Violence, Past Child Abuse, Religious Abuse | Synopsis: 

Sparrow AU with no paradox. Ben uncovers a mystery in his father's office and won't rest until he has answers.

This is how the Umbrellas changed and remained the same as they lived separate lives, how they found each other even so, and what happened when they did. 

| Comment: Updates every Wednesday. Excited to see where this fic goes. |

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44881930

[fistsoflightning]

14 | there will be signs

ffxivwrite2024 14: TELLING Having force or effect; effective; striking.

elwin wouldn't say he won the cactpot, but. lumelle & elwin. 1135 wc.

"Well," Lumelle said uselessly with her hands propped on her hips, "I can see where I got things wrong."

Beside her, Elwin copied her in a much more animated and irritated manner. "I told you I know the difference between kolossus and colossal like eight times and now you're reconsidering?"

She didn't need to rehash their quarter-bell linkpearl call that she spent mostly saying 'El, are you sure you don't mean colossal problem' only for him to repeat 'kolossus problem' like those were words that went together outside of Garlean robot colossi. The Gold Saucer could make up words for whatever. She didn't care. She absolutely did not care and there was no use continuing this spat.

But.

"I know you know but does the rest of Eorzea know? Someone could have spelled it wrong or something and you were just reading it out loud!"

"Lumelle."

"FINE!" She threw her hands up in the air, just to put her energy somewhere other than her voice. The Gold Saucer was loud enough to mask most of their bickering, but if she really yelled it was more like than not to gain a draconic tone near the end and that would make things extremely not fine. "FINE, you were RIGHT and I'm SORRY, but what are we going to do about—uh…"

Lumelle's voice trailed off as she turned to point at the very large korpokkur idling nearby with the most innocent look on its face. A not insignificant part of her wanted to squish its face a little and make silly noises; the rest of her was trying to figure out how her brother had ended up with it and also what the hells they could do about it. She knew that it positively couldn't come home to Ishgard. How it had ended up in the deserts of Thanalan in the first place was beyond her.

"I don't knoooow…" Elwin looked reluctantly back at his prize. "Um. Wedding gift for A'dewah?"

"Extremely funny idea, but that's not for moons at least and also this guy would not fit through Haruki's door," Lumelle said. It would be gut-bustingly hilarious to somehow put this guy in a box and witness A'dewah's face when he opens said box, but incredibly not possible unless A'dewah gets his shite together and actually sends out invitations or elopes. Whichever seems most appealing when he snaps. "Also also, I think Munehise has a korpokkur or three already, another is overkorpokkur. Can't you return him, or something? How did you end up with a gigantic korpokkur anyways?"

Elwin reached up to pull at his goggles in distress, the tips of his ears turning a dark red. Lumelle hastily reached down to keep him from snapping them over his eyes, because that was how you got eye damage, wasn't it?? And that absolutely wasn't happening on her watch.

"I won't laugh," she said. Maybe a giggle, but Elwin didn't need to know that.

"But I'm still embarrassed," her brother squeaked out.

"You have literally seen me go crazy and turn myself into a dragon because my crush was getting a little hurt," Lumelle said. "That time I came almost crying to your room because I tripped and ate floor in front of Alisaie and she wouldn't stop laughing at me because I made a funny noise when I did it. The 'who is A'dewah into anyways' incident."

Elwin groaned and said, eyes now screwed shut, "That last one doesn't count 'cause you gave me secondhand embarrassment."

"The point stands that you will never be as embarrassing as me," Lumelle insisted. "Tell me how your errand turned into korpokkur ownership before we get kicked out for making a scene and then we'll go get overpriced food and drinks that you can cry into."

"I'm not going to cry about this… Let go of my goggles." Elwin cracked one eye open, waited for her to stand back up to her full height of still-only-five fulms, and said, "So I did finish my errand. I delivered the mark seven drone to the lady."

"And you got paid," Lumelle said, "in… korpokkur?"

Elwin shook his head. "I got paid in cactpot tickets. For some reason. And they were—the Jumbo kind, which is definitely not what I should have been paid in? But by the time I thought about that she'd already left to have her husband try it out?"

She knew immediately where this was going with a biting clarity. "Elwin, no."

"So since I just had them now, and today was the number draw, I was thinking 'well, I guess I'll stick around and redeem these and get a funny hat after'. But as it turns out—" Elwin gestured to the korpokkur, which was not a funny hat in any sense. "—with my three tickets, I got the MGP from both first and second place? Since the lady had picked sequential numbers? So I had like, enough MGP in my hands to buy a small house, and a lot of people looking my way and saying things, and by then I was thinking 'I have got to get rid of this immediately or there's going to be a situation'."

"So you…"

"Bought. A few things." Elwin hid his face behind his hands, peering through the gaps between his fingers up at Lumelle's incredulous face. "The korpokkur isn't the only thing I grabbed but it is the only one that is. A problem!"

This was, frankly, hilarious to a degree Lumelle couldn't even comprehend at the moment. It would likely hit later when she was recounting the whole thing to Alisaie through laughter. She took another look at the korpokkur's gormless face, then looked back at Elwin and said, "You paid a mountain of fake coin for a whole plant that bounces. Look at it, it has no thoughts in there."

"I'm sure it has at least one," Elwin sighed.

"Yeah, the one that makes sure that water droplet doesn't fall off?"

"You're gonna hurt his feelings, Mellie."

"He's like a dog, he doesn't know! But fine, I'll be nice to your oversized moss ball. So long as he doesn't smush you beneath his roundness."

"Can I beg for mercy now?" Elwin's face was fully buried in his hands now. "I still don't know what to do with him."

"I'll call Miriel later, don't worry." And if that failed, she'd just have to go drop in on A'dewah in the Doman Enclave sooner than she was planning. No biggie. "I do have one last question, though."

Elwin groaned. "Promise we're done after? I can stuff my face in buyer's remorse?"

Lumelle patted the pocket of her coat that had her gil pouch. "Promise. Now—did you buy enough of the bunny ears for us to surprise Valdis with?"

[hypomanicsatanicpanic]

a few thoughts on the queer Purim comedy show I went to last night

The queer humor was fantastic. Some of the Purim content was ok. I am a non/post-Zionist, but I absolutely expected and looked forward to jokes about Israel and Zionism, given that I found out about this event in an explicitly anti-zionist discord server, and 50% of the money raised by tickets and donations went to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund, but I at least expected them to be jokes, you know? The whole thing gave "white guilt." It gave "white savior" and "noble savage." It gave "I'm one of the good ones."

First, it was a mixed bag on funny:

Four of the eight comics were hilarious, I fell out of my seat laughing during about half of those sets. I would pay money to see any of these people do comedy again.

Two were ok, laughed out loud at least 1-2 times during their sets. Wouldn't leave if they were at stand-up night, but probably wouldn't remember their sets after the fact.

Two were very seriously talking about things they obviously (and understandably) found upsetting, but trying to pass them off as deadpan jokes. One of those comics (who identified themself as an Arab Muslim) repeated several pieces of misinformation about Israel and Palestine-not even different opinions, verifiably false information that has been widely debunked. The other (who identified herself as a secular Jew) made several boomer wife jokes at the expense of her Palestinian wife. Those two comics also repeatedly complained about being called names by Zionists, concluding they "gave off incel vibes" as a punchline. For that to be funny, you've gotta unpack it! Say something original and unexpected, or you're just regurgitating antisemitic Tumblr posts and my former friend who uses "zios" as a slur. These two also made fun of people in diaspora who were feeling uncomfortable about being visibly Jewish in public. This same person also called Purim "just another Jewish holiday celebrating genocide" without unpacking that at all either.

It was also such a weird tone-clash for people to be talking about "ongoing genocide" and "40 family members killed" and "people sacrificed for a brave and noble cause" completely seriously--**during their comedy set**-- right between people joking about spelling out their pronouns in nipple grafts after top surgery, and other people joking about yonic hamantaschen and boric acid suppositories. That's not to say we shouldn't talk about it, it's just *how* and *when* felt pretty badly off in this case.

I'm not one to call other Jews self-hating, or kapos. But it really felt gross to see such performative hatred of other Jews who did not share the exact same views or life experiences get so much applause, despite being low-effort and unfunny. Like, don't get me wrong, the content was low-level upsetting, but became much more so because it was such lazy comedy. I think I would have enjoyed it much more if those statements/jokes were balanced with some good-humored, self-critical jokes. Telling the audience whatever they want to hear is cheap and boring. Tell us shit that confronts us, makes us uncomfortable, but forces us to laugh at it!

And the assumptions that everyone there would be 100% on board with everything said about other Jews present and historical, no matter how nasty, bad-faith, or false. The absolute and wilful misunderstanding about others' actual beliefs and experiences, the lack of compassion for Jews struggling with antisemitism *in their own cities and communities*, the self-pity, the failure to successfully lampoon OR engage meaningfully or originally with the ongoing conflict or the more troubling parts of the Purim story... The assumptions about the views and experiences of everyone else there. The absolute certainly and smugness about being morally superior to the vast majority of other Jews.

It was troubling to have so much in common with so many of the people there, and yet to feel so alienated. We were almost all queer Jews, with all of that attendant baggage. And I'm 100% certain we want the people who live in the Levant (Arabs, Jews, everyone!) to have lasting peace and safety, and also want Jews to be able to live and thrive in diaspora. Ultimately though, I'm not willing to throw other Jews (most of whom actually share those goals!) under the bus to signal those beliefs or get a couple of feeble chuckles. I wouldn't want to make money at their expense, even if some of the money went towards a worthy cause.

Next time this event comes around I'll probably skip it and just donate what I would have paid for admission to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund (which you can do here )

[greypetrel]

Ask game time! 🌩️

Love me some crack!

Hello!

Thank you for asking, I considered what exactly to put here... But the DadWolf AU won.

Here's for you all the "Dorian and Mia start an uprising not to clean the table".

🌩 Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

Of all the outcomes Solas would have ever thought about waking up from Uthenera, a house full of teenagers with a big table to unpack surely was very, very low on his expectations. As low as in “if someone would have told me fifteen years ago I would have taken offense”.

The domesticity, tho, wasn’t all that bad, and he really waited for so long... The Veil could have waited some more, even if he could feel a headache incoming and wanted borderline to strangle Dorian that was doing all his best to cause a mutiny and convince three out of for Rutherford siblings and all four Hawkes to mutiny to the “unjust oppression of chores” and skip helping out in the house, against all adults in the room insisting. Five adults against eight teens, or well. Four adults, as Solas had to glare at Varric more often than not as he did the devil’s advocate and sided for the teens. Unfortunately, Mia Rutherford was with Dorian on this, and she was unyielding when she put her head to something, and charismatic enough that loud Branson, always up to some fun, and sweet, shy Rosalie, just followed them. The Hawkes were all more or less chaos gremlins: Raina followed ruckus where she found it, in spite of being the eldest of the bunch, Garrett followed his sister -trying and failing to tone her down-, Carver did the opposite of what Raina did but when it suited him -and avoiding a chore counted as such- and Bethany followed up the chaos as well, having fun. And then there was Dorian: brilliant enough that school and most activities had him awfully bored and in need for fun, enough so that he caused trouble on purpose. Like now. He loved him and was so proud, but today he also hated him for listening to him and taking the “fight oppression” discourse so litterally and chaotically against him.

If only the other two teens in the house were there... Kind Aisling, who always empathised, and shy, level-headed, responsible Cullen. It was their idea to celebrate First Day all together. After all, Leandra was one of the oldest friends of Varric, and for the Rutherfords ten years of friendship between the kids that brought on an equal friendships between parents. It all made them a kind of big enlarged family, and all the kids would have met right after lunch anyway, so it was only logical to stick together to eat as well, no?

Yes, but it also meant more teens to manage at the same time. Dangerous, as it proved to be.

So, he argued yet again with Dorian and Mia that it wasn’t oppression, it was just a matter of being kind and collaborate to the community, to which they replied that if so, no one should have made it an obligation and just reserved for the younger at the table, and they were fighting the very principle, it was an important battle.

“It’s a nice principle, Chuckles, weren’t you the one insisting for them to have some and stand up for them?”

Varric was quickly added to the list of people Solas borderline wanted to strangle, as he brought back to the kitchen a pile of dirty plates, nonetheless. He would not spend the whole day with a dirty table out of silly rhetorics, no thank you, there were enough headstrong people in the room for him to join. And he hated a table full with dirty dishes.

Also, a nugging thought was gnawing at the back of his head: where were Aisling and Cullen, exactly?

He had made the talk with the girl, of course. And made it a strict rule that when Cullen was around, the door to whatever room they were in must be open at all times. It was maybe still to soon, but he’d rather be safe than sorry, and it was painfully clear that since a year or so, the boy has started to look at his daughter with more than friendship in mind.

It was, honestly, the cutest thing to watch develop. Particularly because Aisling seemed totally, hopelessly oblivious, and if he knew his daughter, Cullen would have needed to spell it out for her in very clear terms. Which wasn’t something he was bold enough to do. But still, as the current predicament and revolution happening in the dining room proved, it was ultimately better not trust teenagers with ideas of their own.

[shsy7573]

We’re in This Together - Overview

Summery and information

Description: Janeway and B’Elanna are trapped underground on an unfamiliar planet, and no way of knowing how to get to the surface. The natives of this planet seem intent on killing them, and the two are forced to rely on each other in order to survive. Will they be able to make it until Voyager comes to their rescue, or will they perish at the hands of their spider-ly foes?

Setting: VOY Season 3

Relationships: Platonic Janeway & B’Elanna (hinted mother-daughter)

WARNING: This fanfic contains instances violence and animalistic cannibalism. Neither are extremely graphic, but they are present.

Master list/Chapter index

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Fun Facts and Author Comments

- As stated in the beginning of each chapter, this story has not be read over or edited at all. I wrote it all in one burst over the coarse of three days. I just had to get it out of my head.

- This story was originally just going to sit in my Google docs for my eyes only, but I was so happy with the concept that I just had to post it.

- I created a tumblr account just so I could put platonic Janeway and B’Elanna content onto this earth!

- B’Elanna and Janeway should have gotten more relationship development in the show. That scene in the beginning where they’re essentially just geeking out whilst brainstorming solutions stole my heart and then THEY JUST NEVER GOT CLOSER! So I did it myself.

- Barge of the Dead was one of my fav episodes, if you couldn’t guess.

- I went WAY too hard on this fic. Every time it would timeskip change I put what time the new scene started and ended on in brackets so I could make sure time was passing accurately.

- Adding on to that, I actually pulled up an online calculator of how little water a person could survive off of based on how much physical activity they were doing.

- I also drew a (very poor) map of the tunnel layout so I could ensure they were travelling an adequate distance before each day ended.

- By Chapter Six I was really starting to run out of cool and interesting ways to basically do the same shit of “they walked, they came across a cave, they walked, they got attacked by spider-aliens- they walked.” But, I at least hope it stayed engaging.

- Yes, I did name the aliens “Arachnomen” JUST BECAUSE I thought it was funny. And yes, I did chuckle every time I wrote it.

- When I started writing this fic, I had no idea where it was going, but I’m happy with where it ended up.

- I really, REALLY tried to keep the characters as consistent and accurate to canon personality-wise as possible. But, I just know there are some points where it’s questionable.

- Part of me wants to write a little spin-off fic of all the senior officers visiting Janeway in sick bay while she recovers, but I also… don’t. So, if anyone would be willing, feel free! (Just make sure to credit me :) )

- I thought concussed, mood-swing B’Elanna was rlly funny.

- I laughed out loud several times writing Chapter Eight.

- I rlly hope tumblr doesn’t take down Ch. 7 post for tagging ‘animalistic cannibalism’

[winecupwars]

progress report: it's 2023!!!

happy new year!!

it's nine days into the new year and already two big things have happened:

i broke up with my girlfriend, because she's the kind of downer that drags you down even when you're trying to uplift them, and i don't have the energy to deal with that shit all the time

my 15 year old dog died :( which we were bracing ourselves for, since she has been in pain for a while now due to the tumor on her neck and a multitude of other issues. i miss her so much. she was our first inside dog and we spoiled her just like you'll spoil the youngest baby of the family. here she is, enjoying the sun:

listened. in preparation for their upcoming album, i decided to listen to paramore's "after laughter" (2017) in full for the first time in my life. i don't know why it's taken me this long to listen to it - i was obssessed with "hard times" when it came out - but the whole album is good! the energy and vibes from the first song flows through each song, making everything sound cohesive. i think, though, that i would have enjoyed and appreciated this much more if i had listened to it when it came out in 2017; that's when i was just starting therapy and taking medication for depression (which turned out to be bipolar disorder lmao). my favorite song has got to be "rose-colored boy" by a mile

watched. i've seen two movies already! "banshees of inisherin" (2022) and "deleter" (2022)

banshees of inisherin - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ i fully enjoyed every minute. it's laugh-out-loud funny, quietly sad, very bleak. this is a movie about two very repressed irish men in 1923 and the one-sided fracture of their friendship. i sympathize with pádraic because the end of friendship always hurts especially when it's so abrupt, but to be honest i related more to colm because if someone i broke it off with kept bothering me like pádraic kept bothering him, i'll also [SPOILERS] cut off all my fingers and throw them at their door. please watch this!!

deleter - ⭐⭐⭐ i just keep thinking of what this movie could have been. the potential that it had!! there is already horror inherent in lyra's content moderation job - having to watch violent and disturbing imagery for eight hours a night, decide which ones are too much and should be deleted, which ones should be let slide; the subsequent desenzitation to such things; the dehumanization of that line of work - and the movie could have shown that horror without resorting to your typical ghost revenge story. also there were elements that weren't really needed and just added bloat to the movie, like jace's character, lyra's "missing" mom, the rape scene. all that being said, i did like it. there was just so much that it could have done different to be a better movie. nadine lustre, as always, was amazing though. deserved the best actress win :)

misc. people always say, "run free!" to their dead dogs in their social media posts, but that doesn't apply to my bubba, because she never ran. she charged, she trotted, she sauntered. she walked leisurely. but she never ran. so walk free, my bubba. i will love you forever!!!

[occult-roommates]

Video call

One evening, everyone in the apartment was minding their business, doing their stuff. Charlie was in her room reading, it was Daniele’s turn to do the dishes, while Rudi, Akva and Dawud were watching a movie. Then, Kino was on a video call with their lovely girlfriend, aka Toni.

Toni: Aw, I love you so much. Kino: No, I love you more! Toni: Nooo, I love you more! Daniele: Oh my god, you guys are gonna make me sick! Kino: Jealous. Daniele: Didn’t you used to be a serial dater? Does Toni knows that? Kino: I am a changed woman now. I know she’s the right one.

As a sign of protest against this overtly cutesy moment, Rudi rose the TV volume as loud as possible.

Akva: My back is killing. Daniele: My neck, my back, lick my- Rudi: Don’t. Akva: I’ve been wondering but like, is there something about pregnancy that causes back pain or like, does having a big belly will cause strain on your back eventually no matter what? Dawud: Yes. Rudi: Have you considered losing weight? Dawud: Wow, I totally never considered that, in fact I don’t even know what that is. Thank you for enlighting me. Akva: Why are you guys always so rude to each other! It’s not funny! Dawud: Hey, we’re not being rude, it’s just friendly bickering. Rudi: “Rude”. This is not how you pronounce my name.

Feeling like she was going to start being rude too, Akva went to her room, she was exhausted anyway. Who the fuck said it should be legal to force you to keep working in retail while eight months pregnant? 

The following afternoon, Akva also had a video call, this time with Paisley. They had been keeping in touch in order to finalize the adoption formally, and that day, Paisley had very exciting news. The nursery was done and ready.

Paisley: I’ve sent you picture so you can look at them. We have a bedroom for the little one, there’s not a lot yet but you know, we still have six weeks left before the baby is here and also I don’t think an infant cares all that much about having a lot of toys. However, we also made a play room for her with lots of toys for her to enjoy. We also made a playground for her outside, near our pool. The good thing about her being a mermaid is that we won’t have to worry about her drowning... Akva: That’s great, wow. Paisley: Speaking of which, do you know any good place where we can find mermaid related stuff? Damian and I have been trying real hard to find some but it’s almost all Little Mermaid related and I’ve heard this tale is really offensive to merfolks cause in the original it is said that you guys don’t have a soul. Akva: I mean, I don’t think anyone is getting offended by any of the modern versions but it’s true it can be a bit iffy how the entire plot is related to her wanting to become a human and getting that in the end. Paisley: So, any place where I can find actual mermaid related stuff by actual merfolks? Akva: Uh...I don’t know, you can google merfolk owned business. Also I can send you some family jewelries if you want her to keep in touch with her Guyanese root. Paisley: By the way you shouldn’t drink coffee while pregnant. Akva: It’s a decaf, I’m not stupid...

Akva looked at the picture. Wow, that woman was really ready to have a baby, in fact she was even ready to have a toddler running around already. In fact, Paisley was much more ready than her to have this baby, and she’s not even the one who will have to push out the damn thing...

Prev - Next

[batz-surveys]

2.

Have you ever fallen asleep in the last car you were in? I'm sure I have, although we've only taken two road trips in it so far.

Have you ever been cheated on? Yes. What's funny is I ended up becoming pretty good friends with the other person.

What’s something you do every day besides breathing, eating, and sleeping? Sing. Made up songs, songs I'm listening to; I just love to sing.

What’s the nearest blinking object to you? A little light on my laptop is blinking right now.

What were you for Halloween last year? A vampire. I like sticking to the classics.

Don’t you need to charge your phone right now? Holy hell, I actually do. It's at 28% but I'm just going to wait until my Target order is on its way. My shopper is very thorough and I want to remain in contact so I don't get anything I don't want.

When’s the last time you laughed really hard? I don't know, probably yesterday or even this morning. My husband is the funniest person I know.

When’s the last time you cried really hard? I'm glad you added the "really hard" because I cry like, daily, haha. I can't remember the last time I cried hard. Probably last year when my brothers got drunk, and my eldest brother punched my older brother in the face so hard that it broke his jaw in three places. He was bleeding from the ears and I had to go over there at like, midnight to convince him to go to the ER and when I saw him, I just broke down because he's my best friend and I was worried about bleeding on the brain. We don't talk to that brother anymore. There's a whole list of shitty things he's done in our lifetime, and that was honestly the final straw. So, I personally went no-contact with him and his family.

Do you believe that karma can come back and slap you in the face? I'm certain it does. I've seen it, and witnessed it first hand.

Are you currently trying to avoid somebody? Not really.

Are you feeling guilty for something? I feel a little guilty for not going to see my parents this weekend even though I had loads of time. I just filled the time with other things. I promised next weekend I'd go over there for a long while. I'll maybe even take them to dinner.

When you’re sad, who/what usually cheers you up? My husband is the who. Music is the what.

What was the last thing you bought? A bunch of food items from Target.

Do you own suspenders? Nope.

Do you get mixed signals often or rarely? I'm pretty good at reading people, so I'd say no. And I'm too impatient for people that are passive aggressive, so if I get a weird vibe or feel that something's not right, I'll just straight up ask.

Are your nails/toes painted? Nope.

Are you usually quiet or loud? I'm the quiet one. I've always been the quiet one. Unless, I get a few cups of liquid courage then I'm super chatty. But I wouldn't say I'm loud.

Do you ever check your horoscope? No, I used to though.

What color is your microwave? Black.

What was the last thing you ate? Some pasta and vegetables.

Do you talk to people even though you hate them? I laughed aloud at this one because there are so many people that I dislike that I come into contact with at work and I have to suck it up and be friendly. I'm a teacher and the amount of stupid and rude parents I deal with is astonishing, but you'd never know because I'm always smiling.

Name something you have always wanted and never got. A winning lottery ticket, haha.

When was the last time you went outside? About an hour ago to walk the dog.

How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? During the work week, maybe two hours max. And during the weekend, probably, close to eight because I'm playing Sims right now.

Do you have any siblings? I have two brothers, one who is my best friend and another who I refuse to acknowledge, and a half-sister. But if we're talking in-laws, I also have another brother, and three sister-in-laws.

Do you know someone named Curt? Nope. But everytime I hear that name, I think about Kurt Wagner. Or as he was known in the Munich circus: The Incredible Nightcrawler.

Have you ever been to Texas? No, and I have no reason or want to ever go.

Do you have an alarm clock? My husband uses an alarm clock. I just use the alarm on my phone.

Can you play the piano? Sure, but I haven't in a while. I play by ear, but man, I wish I could read music.

Do you go to church? No.

What color was the cup that you last drank out of? It was multi-colored.

What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? I'm a nostalgia nut, so I'm constantly watching things from my childhood.

Do you have shoes on? Nope.

Do you have a printer? Yes, but I hardly use it.

Do you read the paper? No.

Do you have a swingset? No.

What is something you do every summer? Complain about the heat, haha.

Do you have a job? Yes.

Do your siblings text you? Yes.

Do you tend to make things complicated? No, not really.

Do you want a small or big wedding? I wanted a somewhat big wedding, but I had a micro-wedding because we got married when Covid was new, in 2020. We always said that we would have a bigger, more traditional wedding later on (like a vow renewal) but quite frankly, I don't see the point because I loved that day the way it was.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Sure, hasn't everybody?

Would you rather have cash or a gift card? Cash.

Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? No, I was kissing my husband goodbye because he was heading to work.

Do you live near a beach or amusement park? I live about 45 minutes from the beach, and about three hours from the nearest amusement park.

Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don't talk to any of my exes and haven't for a very long time.

Do you have your eye on anyone at the current moment? Just my husband.

Ever been called a bitch? Oh yes, definitely. I already know I can be a bitch, so it's not really an insult to me.

Who would you be shocked to see call you? Anyone that's from my past.

If you could drink only 2 things for the rest of your life, what would it be? Water mixed with Liquid IV and Diet Coke.

Would you date someone taller than you? Yes, I'm only 5'5" tall. I'm married but my husband is taller. Everyone I've ever been with was taller than me, except for my first girlfriend. She was only like, five feet tall. Maybe 5'3" at the most.

Have you met anyone that has been a major influence on you this year? Not this year, no.

Ever kissed someone who smokes? Yes.

Have any interesting conversations lately? Not really.

If your friends warn you about someone you like, do you listen? I don't think I've ever had that done before, but I've definitely been the person warning a friend.

Who did you last pinky promise with? Probably my husband.

What do you do when you’re having a bad day? If I have to work, I suck it up and deal with it. If I'm at home, I'm sixteen again, listening to music and pouting.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? Depends on the day.

Do you have your own computer? I do. It's a laptop. I have like four of them. One I use for work, one I use for gaming, and two older ones that I can't seem to get rid of.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Yes, I used to smoke, even though that's stupid of me because I have asthma.

What’s your hair like at this present moment? It's straightened and currently I have it in two braided pigtails and I'm wearing a red hairband.

[leelee120000]

My Voice: How Dungeons and Dragons Saved My Quarantine

August 6, 2020

Iwrite fiction in my spare time and have consistently for nearly eight years now. When I was very little, I used to tell my stories verbally to my friends. The theatrics of live storytelling has always been something I enjoyed. Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) feels like that. Imagine writing a story out loud, now, imagine co-writing that story alongside nine other people with a very fluid plot and rules. It’s a spectacular chaos filled with extreme highs and lows.

It’s no secret that we at the Clarion are, for the most part, big nerds. However, the general public might be unaware that back in early October of 2019, we formed an unofficial joint Dungeons & Dragons party between us and a few members of Sinclair’s Bright Signal Alliance with Clarion photographer Brian Walker as our leader. 

Our group has met weekly since, not counting the odd weekends where a majority of us were too busy to. Before quarantine, we made D20, the local D&D bar, into a second home for ourselves and added a few players outside the main groups of the Clarion and Bright Signal. (Speaking of which, support local business whenever you can right now.)

In pop culture, D&D is typically portrayed as a group of men in one of their mother’s basement. They gather around a candle-lit table covered in junk food while wearing dollar store costumes, argue over math and throw a pile of funny dice. While players do occasionally cosplay, it’s not a requirement. 

Also, the gender gap of players is greatly decreasing. Personally speaking, my own party is seven women to three men‒a relief to the common problems associated with being the only girl present. 

House games are still quite common, but now there is a growing trend of having community bars or clubs houses for players to be more social. Math in D&D is almost always a basic addition. Nobody would argue over it. A dice set is typically made up of seven dice. 

There’s the 20-side die, or D20, the 12-sided die or D12, the 10-side die or D10, the 8-sided die or D8, the six-sided die or D6 and the 4-sided die or D4. 90% of the time the only die the player uses is D20. The rest are used typically in battle, but we almost never use them all at once.

D&D isn’t as complicated as it appears at first glance. The first thing you pick is your character’s race. Note, race in D&D refers to if they are a mythological creature or humanoid, not skin tones. For example, mythological creatures include orcs, half-lings, etc. 

Next is class. Class is not an economical place, but more an occupation or defending characteristic. These include, but are not limited to, a bard, a fighter, a ranger, a wizard, a rouge, etc. 

There is a list of all the rules that apply to each race and class in the DM’s guide book. These rules are the lifeblood and launching point for your character. However, there is a lot of freedom in creating your appearance, backstory, and personality. After the group of players create their characters, they are a party.

The dungeon master, often referred to as a DM, either creates or uses a pre-created campaign for these characters to adventure forth in. They could last anywhere from three months to years. The players use their rules and earn points each time they play together in a session. Over time, the points add up, causing the players to earn levels which grant them new skills overtime.

Currently, our group is facing our biggest opponent yet – the leader of an army of shapeshifters. I have a suspension that the leader will be a multiple session fight. Our sessions are four to five hours. I am beyond excited about it, and I theorize so many things about the character in our group chat, undoubtedly giving Brian free inspiration to use later against our characters in battle. He is a good fiction writer. I’ve seen his foreshadowing of this in previous sessions.

However, the bigger reward is the friendships we’ve formed. I’m never lonely anymore with a group chat that often hits 70+ messages a day. Someone is always up to talk about life or joke about the frustrations of college. 

These friendships run deep, and I truly know that any of them would help me in a time of crisis and I would for them. It’s refreshing and probably one of the happiest things in my entire life.

The effect on my own happiness has been profound. College caused a lot of frantic changes to my life. I had to handle the change in responsibility from high school to full-time college and navigate my first paying job while fearing I would mess it up. My best friends of over a decade were suddenly gone, moved away or busy. 

It left me resentful and bitter, feeling like I was all alone again. I was terrified. Having started working at the Clarion in July 2019, I was already making fast friends with my coworkers. A D&D group seemed like a wonderful addition to my life. That was, for the first time in forever, not going 200 miles per hour with 15 extracurriculars. I didn’t know just how much I needed something like it. 

It was never a question after the quarantine began that we would find any safe way possible to continue our game. And try we did. YouTube banned our livestream for copyright. Discord crashed practically anytime more than five of us used it. (To be fair they have done a system overall after the beginning of quarantine.) Google Hangouts never wanted to work and was just as bad as it was back in 2014. Skype has zero users but is still laggy.

Zoom is currently where we house our game and seems to be our long-term solution until the world is safe again. It hurts not seeing their faces weekly. It hurts when my crappy wifi drops me from a game, but we know it is the responsible thing to do. Keeping a 5-hour weekly distraction where I force myself to try not to look at the news, work, or school. Just five hours of hearing my friends weekly have done more good for me in quarantine than I could ever understand.

LeAnne McPherson

[renatorizzuti]

An Extra Special Friend

Written By Renato Rizzuti & Graphic Picture By Maria Rizzuti

When I was eight years old and growing up in Ottawa, I had an extra special friend. His name was Andy and he was always kind of scruffy and he always had his shirt hanging out of his pants before it was fashionable to do that.  Andy always looked like he had just gotten out of bed with his uncombed hair and his rumpled clothes. He had a kind of funny speech pattern, not a speech impediment per se but it was somewhat different and intriguing. At first, I never realized how “extra special” Andy was.

 Andy lived with his aunt down the street. I am not sure where his actual parents where and I did not concern myself with it since at eight years old, such matters are somewhat irrelevant. We became instant friends as soon as we met, almost like we had met before in a past life or somewhere in the cosmos. We met on a very hot and humid day, the kind of icky and sticky day we you would rather be at the beach instead of being stuck in the steamy city.

The first thing Andy did was to show me a dirt box containing his pet worms. I thought nothing of it at the time and did not consider it unusual that a boy my same age would keep worms as pets. Andy told me that he could speak to the worms and he proceeded to speak in what sounded like an official worm language to me. I actually believed that he could communicate with the worms based on his intense conversation he was having with them.

Along with his worm fixation, Andy was preoccupied with trying to catch a sparrow. We would spend long hours trying to catch a sparrow in his backyard.  He devised all sorts of traps like a wire loop and one made out of a coffee can and a stick.  Andy would demonstrate a tremendous amount of patience and concentration during these escapades.  He also assured me that his magic bird sounds would attract the sparrows.  We never did catch a bird but we had fun trying!

A Saturday morning was spent playing monopoly at my house.  The game took a long time because I had to help Andy count out his money.  I ended up winning the game but felt that I was somehow guilty of taking advantage of Andy.  My mother asked Andy if he wanted to stay for lunch and Andy agreed once he found out that we were having what he called "spassgeetie" My mother and Andy and I ate lunch together. My mother was a very tolerant and patient woman and enjoyed eating with us.                           

At one point during lunch, Andy was having trouble mastering the twirling of the spaghetti with a fork and spoon to follow our spaghetti eating technique.  Andy announced in a loud voice that the spaghetti was like “Eyetillian worms” and so he would talk to these worms in his worm language to get them to behave properly and he would be able to eat much easier. My mother smiled and was amused by Andy’s attempt to simplify the eating of the spaghetti.

After Andy left, my mother said that she was happy that I had found a nice friend.  My mother also said to me in her southern Italian dialect known as Calabrese that Andy seemed like a bit of a “chiotarellu” which means “little dummy.”  I was not completely sure what she meant at the time and just thought she meant that Andy was a real character.

Andy’s preoccupation with catching a bird was kicked up to the next level on a rainy Monday afternoon.  We were in Andy’s backyard and he had set up a new bird trap that consisted of a bushel with bread crumbs in it and a sheet of cardboard to cover the bushel once a bird landed in it.  Andy unknowing gave me a lesson in method acting as he proceeded to explain his plan:

“To catch a bird we gotta act like birds so that a bird will think we are birds and want to come and join us.  We gotta pretend we are covered in feathers, and have wings and can fly.  Oakie doakie Pokie? Soes we gonna climb up on the garbage box and jump off and fly like birds soes we can fool the little birdie birdies.”

We jumped off the garbage box frantically flapping our “wings.” Andy was a much better “bird athlete” then I.  Andy had a skinny build compared to my chubby cherubic body.  It was no wonder that I started huffing and puffing way before Andy did. 

“You are supposed to be a bird, so stop huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf,” laughed Andy.   

On my last jump, I landed on my foot funny and hurt my ankle.  I was moaning with pain.  Andy came to my rescue:

“Okay, officer down, calling for back up and an ambulance!  Doctor Andy on the scene.  Okay, lay back and relax.  I give you healing treatment!  Abracadabra, hiss boombaa you gonna get better now!”

Andy massaged my ankle vigorously and miraculously; the pain went away!  I was able to stand and I watched Andy make one final jump. There was not one bird fooled by our scheme but it was great fun anyways! 

There was a time when I did not see Andy for a couple of days.  I was sitting on the sidewalk playing with a stick in a puddle when Andy’s aunt walked by.  She was a very large woman with wild eyes. She told me that Andy had been hit by a car and died.  Tears welled up in her eyes as she told me that Andy was happy to have me as a friend.  She said that Andy never had too many friends because Andy was “retarded” which meant that there was something wrong with him.

I had heard the “retard” word before in the school yard and I knew that it meant that you were kind of stupid.  I could not believe that Andy was stupid and that I would never see him again.  I was overcome by confusion and sadness.  I thought about how Andy did not really seem that much different then me.  Maybe Andy was not a “retard” but was labeled as such by the “official” adults in his life.  To this very day, I cringe when I hear the word “retarded.”  We now use the term “mentally challenged” but that still upsets me when the term is used to describe a child.

I am sure that Andy is up in heaven now.  He is probably still talking to worms and trying to catch birds.  I am sure that everybody up there understands Andy.  Andy is probably also talking to God but nobody is laughing at him because of it.

I will always remember Andy as my extra special friend.