#ehhh not really but you can never be too careful

[caxycreations]

Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry

NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.

So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.

So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Saiki K

Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".

So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"

One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.

And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.

Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.

Popeye

Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.

Bugs Bunny

The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.

He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.

The Warner Trio

Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.

They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.

Road Runner

Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.

Pop Team Epic

I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.

ASDF Guy

Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."

Heart Diagram

Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.

Chowder

Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.

Force Ghost Trio

Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.

Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.

Kirby

Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.

Kevin McCallister

Okay, hear me out.

Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.

So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?

Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.

Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.

It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.

This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.

So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.

Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.

You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.

Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.

"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.

Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.

Shedinja

This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.

But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.

It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.

It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.

Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?

Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.

Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.

Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.

That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.

Saitama

I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.

A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.

However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.

So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.

He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.

So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.

The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.

Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.

So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.

Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.

Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.

So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.

Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.

This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.

In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.

That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%

So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.

The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.

That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.

So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.

Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?

Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.

Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.

And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.

We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.

So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.

Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.

Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).

We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.

So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.

And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.

So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.

Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.

Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.

To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.

This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.

But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.

Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.

So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.

Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).

But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.

What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?

Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.

It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).

So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.

What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.

And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.

So what do we have so far?

Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).

Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.

Saitama has Universal strength.

Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.

At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.

Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!

Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.

Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.

And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.

The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.

And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.

And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.

Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.

Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.

Kingdom Hearts Mickey

K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.

Crash Bandicoot

Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.

Hatsune Miku

Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.

Wario

Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.

Sans

Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.

And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)

@that-one-enby-onyx

[landosjpg]

fall back together | ln

the one where your ex-boyfriend invites you to spend a few days with him, but you two still have feelings for each other.

lando norris x fem!reader

word count: ~2.5k

warnings: pining, the tiniest bit of fluff i believe, language, smut, oral (f recieving), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), cockwarming

note: ehhh i don't really know how to feel about this but i wanted to post something, once again not proofread! also i have a looooong flight later this week so pls send in some requests so i can entertain myself during it! <3

you and lando had dated for a little over two years when you decided to call it quits. it wasn't messy; you two had mutually decided to stay as friends. and for the few months that you had been just that, it had worked well so far.

that's why lando had decided to invite you over for the monaco grand prix, insisting that you should spend a few days prior with him so you two could catch up and spend some time together.

as friends, of course.

it took him a few days to convince you, but you finally agreed. and that's why you found yourself walking down the corridor that led to his apartment, suitcase in hand. you could hear his giggles already from the other side of the hall, the sound bringing a smile to your face.

as you opened the door with the keys that he had insisted you should keep after breaking up, for emergencies (even when you lived in a total different country), you heard him talking.

"hey, chat!" you heard him say. you should've guessed he would use his days at home to stream like he used to. "guess who's here!"

you smiled as you walked to the room he was in. the fans had always loved you; you saw the edits they made of your relationship, how everyone used to lose their minds over the way you two looked at each other when you decided to make an appearance on one of his streams.

utterly in love.

and of course, you saw how everyone couldn't believe it when he had announced the end of your relationship.

it's not like any of you had expected it either, but you knew it was for the best or the relationship would consume one of you. but you were happy you had managed to make a friendship work, not really wanting to lose lando. and of course, his fans were excited to see you again.

he turned his chair around as you entered the room, his smile widening as soon as he saw you. you walked his way, happily waving at the camera. normally, he would grab your waist and pull you into his lap.

but this time he didn't.

so you stood there, right next to his chair. and as much as you knew that was how things were, it didn't fell completely right to you.

"i think i'm gonna head to bed," you interrupted after a few minutes in which you talked with him and with the viewers, answering a few questions just like you used to do before everything went down.

but after a long flight and a taxi ride to his house, you felt exhausted and all you wanted was to lie down and call it a day.

lando reached to mute his mic before he could answer you, turning to look at your face as he spoke.

"take my bed, i'll sleep in the spare room," he said. you were certain that the fans would try to decipher what you were saying later, but you didn't really care.

you thought about what he was proposing. it would feel weird, sleeping in his bed without him, so you weren't really convinced about it. and he must had seen it in your face, because before you could say anything, he added:

"come on, y/n". you're tired and the spare bed isn't even made," he looked at you with soft, pleading eyes.

you knew he still wanted the best for you, so you sighed in defeat and accepted his offer with a nod of your head.

after saying goodbye to the chat, you left the room to get ready for bed. as you went through your daily night routine in the bathroom, you noticed how everything you had left there behore the break-up was still in its place.

it looked like you had never left.

you tried not to think too much about it, there could be multiple reasons why he had decided to keep all your stuff. he definitely had moved on, right? it had been months since you two ended things.

you brushed it off, not really wanting it to get to your head and then walked to his room. everything was just like you remembered. damn, he even kept some pictures of you on his wall.

with your pajamas on, you climbed into his bed and covered your body with the soft sheets, the smell of him quickly washing all over you.

you rolled around with a sigh, the bed feeling way too big now that he wasn't next to you to wrap hismself around you. you were unable to sleep as your mind filled with all the nights spent in that exact same mattress between laughs, kisses and endless conversations.

you missed the feeling of his arms around your waist, the sound of his snores and the warmth of his body enveloping you every night.

with your mind racing with all the memories that wouldn't leave your brain, you realized it had been hours since you got in bed when you checked the time on your phone. the house was completely silent by that moment, so you figured lando was already asleep.

you sighed and got up, wandering to the kitchen silentely to not wake him up, with the intention of making yourself a tea that would hopefully help you sleep.

୨୧

sat on the counter, you contemplated the city lights with a warm mug of tea in your hands. the only light that illuminated the kitchen was te one that came out of your room. lando's room.

you were lost in your own thoughts, so you didn't notice his figure walking towards you.

"is that seat taken?" his voice made you jump a little in surprise, swearing under your breath as you turned to look at him, simply shaking your head in response. "sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he added with a chuckle, sitting on the stool right next to you.

you didn't really know what to say, so silence fell between you two while you just stared at each other. despite of it being dark, you could appreciate his messy curls, the spark on his eyes and the sly smile that beautifully decorated his lips.

"can't slep?" his voice was low and tender as he brokw the silence.

"bed feels too big."

at your answer, he just nodded. he kept quiet for a few seconds, pensive, and you could see that he was wondering wheter what he was about to say was appropriate or not.

"you know, as much as it hurts... i'm happy that you're moving on," he finally broke the silence, his words hitting you like a truck.

"i'm not... what do you mean?" you asked in confussion, but your mind was more focused on the fact that the possibility of you moving on hurt him.

"i've seen the pictures."

despite of the sadness that his whisper hid, you knew he wasn't mad at you. he had always said that he wanted you to be happy, whether it was with or without him.

silly of him to think that anyone else could ever make you as happy as he once did.

"just a friend," you mumbled, knowing that he was talking about the guy in your latest posts. but he was nothing more than a friend to you, not even close. "not really my type," you joked, earning a little smile from his lips.

once again, the silence felt deafening as he didn't give you an answer. your nerves were starting to kick in and so, in an attempt to try and make it feel less awkward between you two, you gazed back to the window.

"do you ever miss me?" he whispered again seconds later, the simple question making you freeze.

the answer was easy: yes, like crazy. but you couldn't just say that.

as he waited for you to reply, you felt his eyes on you, curious about what you would answer. and you swore he could hear your heart racing in your chest.

"sometimes, yeah," you finally decided to give him the truth.

or part of it, because confessing that it hadn't been a day in which he didn't cross your mind at least twice a day made you feel too exposed and vulnerable.

you halted when you felt his hand creeping up your legs slowly, stopping when he reached your thigh.

"i miss you, too," his murmur sent you a shiver down your spine, and he was looking up at you from where he was sitting, with puppy eyes.

you knew damn well what those words meant, and you felt your heart breaking at your own answer.

" i don't think it's a good idea, lan," you murmured, not able to hold his gaze for long.

"i know", he uttered, and you felt him sigh, but his hand stayed in your leg. "i'm sorry."

when you heard his simple apology, you closed yout eyes and tried to keep your tears from falling down your cheeks, but you failed miserably.

you knew he was apologizing for not being his best self during the last weeks of your relationship. at first, you had tried to convince yourself it only was a rough patch, but it was burning you down.

and, when you asked him for some time, he agreed. he knew he hadn't been the best boyfriend to you during that time, and he hated seeing you suffer because of him. so he ultimately decided to set you free.

"i'll never take you for granted again," he whispered, his hands cupping your cheeks and wiping the tears that fell down your face.

you hadn't noticed that he had stoop up from the stool and positioned himself between your legs, but having him so close again made your heart feel warm. and you looked down, knowing that if your eyes met his green orbits you'd throw yourself back right into his arms.

"lan..."

"i swear, y/n," he interrupted you; you could see his eyes were also watery, tears threatening to come out as well, but he held them back as he kept talking. "i know i fucked up, but it won't happen again."

closing your eyes, you sighed. your fingers softly wrapped around his wrist as you kept silently crying.

"please," his whisper made you sob, wanting nothing more than to go back in time and never let go of him. "i promise."

as you took in his words, your hand slid to his neck and he rested his forehead against yours. your breaths were mixing together and you nodded your head slightly, giving him your final answer with that small gesture.

before you could think about it, his lips were on yours. soft, just as you remembered, and you could taste both your tears on his lips. he kissed you slowly, tenderly, as if he didn't want you to slip out of his fingers again.

and you knew he didn't.

"i've missed this," he sighed in between kisses, pulling you a little closer, his arms now wrapped around your waist. "i've missed you, baby."

at the sweet pet name that you never thought you'd be hearing from his lips again, you exhaled with a smile.

"want to join me in bed?" you asked in a whisper, your fingers softly brushing against the skin of his neck. you wanted nothing more than to sleep next to him again, so close that one would think you two were literally attached at the hip.

"you're inviting me to my bed?" he chuckled as his arms went lower on your body, pulling you closer and picking you up from the counter.

"our bed," you corrected him with a giggle of your own.

he planted a soft kiss on your lips and walked you back to his room, wrapped in his arms. he lied you down on the mattress gently, keeping his body over yours. your gazes locked for a few seconds before his lips attacked yours hungrily, the tenderness of the previous interactions now long gone.

your hands roamed all over each other's bodies, clothes soon flying everywhere as both your breaths got heavier.

he started trailing small, wet kisses down your breasts and torso, his hands carefully pulling your underwear down your legs. he spread your open for him and positioned himself between your thighs, looking up at you from the edge of the bed.

you slightly nodded, giving him permission to go on. a long sigh left your lips as soon as you felt his lips pressing a soft kiss on your sensitive bud, and your fingers instinctively got lost in his curls, urging him closer.

"you're so gorgeous, baby," he mumbled, his hot breath against your slick making you moan softly.

you felt his tongue flatten against you and he started licking your cunt as if he was starving. a smug expression plastered on his face when your back arched as his lips found your clit again and he sucked, fingers tugging on his hair.

"fuck, lando..." you stuttered, your legs closing around his head as you felt the knot on your lower stomach about to snap. a small groan escaped his lips, his hands gripping around your thighs, surely leaving small bruises on your smooth skin.

soon, the warmth of his tongue on your pussy felt too overwhelming and your orgasm didn't take long to wash over you, leaving you a moaning mess under his touch.

as you came down from your climax, he got rid of his boxers and hovered over you again, his lips finding yours once more. as you tasted yourself on his tongue, you hummed contently into the kiss, your fingers finding their wait to his curls again.

"you alright, love?" he gently asked, taking a minute to look into your eyes.

"need you inside of me," you panted, your legs hooking at each side of his body as you pulled him closer.

he locked his lips with yours as he teased your folds with his cock, both of you moaning into the other's mouth at the friction. he positioned himself at your entrance and slowly pushed inside of you, letting you adjust to his size.

"so fucking tight for me, baby," his voice sounded breathless as he started thrusting into you without a hurry.

he took it slow, his movements almost lazy but deep.

and god, did it feel good.

you held each other tightly as he kept that slow pace that you two seemed to be enjoying. he reveled in the way your sweet moans filled the room and your nails drew crescent moons on his shoulders, your face contorting in pleasure as he stretched you out deliciously.

feeling your second orgasm starting to build up, your pussy clamped down on him, drawing him even deeper inside of you; which resulted in a low grunt from his lips.

"baby, i'm gonna... fuck..." you whimpered, unable to even form a proper sentence as the pressure in your lower stomach increased again.

"look at me, love," he groaned, and you did as he had asked.

with your gazes locked in each other's, it only took the two of you a few strokes to come undone, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt him cumming inside of you and leaving you weak under his body.

he collapsed on top of you, a little winded as he left a sweet kiss on your lips before moving to lay down on the mattres, pulling you with him.

"i love you," he uttered, his arms wrapped tightly around your body as he kept his cock buried deep inside of you.

"i love you, lan," you mumbled, your face finding the spot between his jaw and his shoulder as you caught your breath, feeling yourself slowly drifting off to sleep with your nose nuzzled on his neck.

[finsplurtz]

addicted — izuku.midoriya

— dom ! male.reader x sub ! Izuku Midoriya

— contents : dom!bottom ! izuku maybe.. non-con/rape , blowjobs as friends , some public play , you’re both virgins , use of his quirk , bondage

warnings : rape/non-con

- second part: soo meann

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮

Deku never thought about sex, he found it like ehhh

he was always focused on improving his quirk and stuff he never really thought about it, he didn’t masterbate often either cause he never had time and it never really interested him

you were a close friend of his, it was always you ochaco lida and izuku. He always praised you and admired you as a friend, always found you to be his safe place.

so when he accidentally walked in on you jacking ur shit he freaked out. He was thinking about how he ruined yalls friendship and stuff

you didn’t continue obviously…though you were close to ejaculating you just couldn’t continue, you told him to come in and he awkwardly walked in with his face red.

“I’m so sorry yn..! I didn’t mean to— I should’ve knocked I’m so sosososososososo sorry!!” he was a cute babbling mess, you laughed nervously and told him not to worry about it and that accidents happen.

“don’t worry izuku! I know you didn’t mean to ya know…it’s fine we’re guys this is like- normal so no need to be awkward” you smile at him and he nods his head before apologizing once more.

“…..doesn’t it hurt..?” he shyly pointed at your crotch and you let out a nervous chuckle.

“well……..don’t worry I’ll just take care of it later” you scratched the back of your neck while izuku just nodded and looked around anxiously.

“…I’m sorry I can’t help but think that you didn’t get to.. you know…! I w..wanna help in some way..? i just feel bad yn” he whined and blushed looking off to the side.

you just stared at his adorable face feeling your dick twitch in your pants.

“well I guess if you..want to, you can…..” he tensed up and stiffly walked over to your bed and sat down in front of you.

he looked you in the eyes waiting for you to give him orders. you looked off to the side for a second and back. “…do you know how to..”

“N-no..I don’t” he blushed embarrassed.

“I’d hope not.. just uhm how do you touch yourself? it’s like that but on another person” izuku was thinking about blowing you really but…….. makes sense

“I don’t touch myself” he said. you held In a laugh but grabbed his hand and placed it on your thigh.

“….im just helping a friend it’s fine..” he mumbled to himself.

“izuk.. u don’t have to yk I can kinda just do it by myself” he insisted and took you out of your pants making you gasp.

He’s never done this before, he loves helping people that’s why he was doing this…..and cause he was curious, it’d been a while since he touched himself and just wanted to.. explore

he stuck his tongue out and put you in his mouth, you let out a deep breath and stiffened feeling his hot mouth work on your dick.

this all happened too fast- I mean anybody with common sense would NEVER offer to blow their friend just cause they accidental interrupted them………that’s gay

but izuku’s just…overly kind or something, you’ll just let him do whatever he wants. Only a crazy person would turn a blowjob down anyway

you started to let out small moans and gently grab on izuku’s soft green locks. He started to really get into it….taking you down his throat and swallowing around you.

“fuuuck..~ I’m gonna…fucking c..NGH—!” you’re eyes rolled back feeling the cum rip out of your cock and into midoriya’s mouth, your chest raised and lowered rapidly trying to catch your breath.

“haa….shh..it..” you combed your finger thru your friends hair as he slowly got off and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

you just stared at him and smiled.

“th..thank you i-zuku..” you felt dizzy and he just smiled happily.

“a..anytime yn..” he said his goodbyes and left you alone in your room staring into the void. what. just happened.

izuku started to spend more time alone in his room after that, you guys weren’t thattt awkward but there was a little tension between you guys. it didn’t happen just once though, he had walked in on you accidentally again and apologized like it was the first time. then he’d offer to help.

it started to become a regular thing you guys did, nothing more than a blowjob. you would offer to please him in return but he always turned it down so…

he liked how he made you feel. it made him feel funny but he couldn’t bring himself to stop it was like an addiction. it started to happen OUTSIDE of your room…..

he went to use the bathroom and you were coincidentally there and next thing ya know, he blew you in one of the stalls. it scared you because you didn’t want to get caught.. but you didn’t say anything.

he had become more touchy, always touching you in some way, your hand, arm, thigh, legs just- he had to be touching you.

he was becoming like a…sex demon, he couldn’t stop wanting to touch you. addict to dick….

one night he was in your room again you stopped him.

“sorry- izuku I just… this is weird why are we…” you watched as his face saddened a bit…..he looks so cute:(

“am I not good at it…?”

“nono izuku! You’re great at it— it’s just like what if we get caught…?”

“oh…then we’ll just have to be more quiet! we won’t get caught that way..” he crawled closer to you and placed his palm on your crotch.

“I-i know but- ugh..~” you couldn’t say anything else as you got lost in the pleasure.

this time while he was blowing you he made eye contact with you, he looked at you with his big glossy green eyes. He’d moan around your length sending vibrations that drove you crazy. what you hadn’t noticed was how he’d finger himself while blowing you, he was stretching himself….for what

when you did notice it though, it didn’t leave your mind. Surely he won’t want to fuck right..? no that can’t happen. you have to make sure of it. you can blow him and everything but- you can’t lose your virginity to this kid and he can’t lose his to you.

“Hey midoriya, ya know this is as far as we can go…right?” you looked at him and you could see the disappointment in his eyes. he hesitated to answer.

“We can’t do anymore than a handy or a blowjob. so don’t…get any funny ideas”

.

.

.

“mh” he smiled and said his goodbye and left. after that he visited…less. like the addiction just left, just like that. He didn’t offer anything but he was still touchy with you. this was fine, you could tell he was looking for something else, it was good to break things off.

after a couple weeks of no nightly visits, he suddenly knocks on ur door. you let him come in and he starts talking about whatever. how his day was, how his training was going, all that normal stuff.

“izuku do you want something from me” you interrupted him mid sentence. he tilts his head pretending to be confused, he tries to say something but he can’t.

“what is it. do you want me to touch you or what” he blushes and bites the inside of his cheek. “i just…can..i…..” he felt the embarrassment down his spine, he pointed at your crotch and then his mouth.

you sigh and grab his arm dragging him to your bed. You stand in front of him while he’s on his knees on the bed looking up at you like a lost puppy. you pet his head and pull your half hard dick out.

He’s practically drooling as he wraps his hands around your cock and pumps it slowly while giving it kitten licks.

He quickly stuffs you in his mouth earning slutty moans from you, he does this till you start getting closer and closer to releasing. you had your eyes closed so you failed to see his quirk blackwhip slowly creep out of him.

he didn’t take his eyes off you, he just stared while he blew you. you felt your body quickly getting bounded tightly together, you opened your eyes and izuku got off.

“wha…what are you doing izu..”

“‘m sorry yn..! I really really n-need this…~” he slipped his shorts off and straddled your lap, your dick at his entrance. you tried to fight against the restraints but obviously, didn’t work. he was blushing like crazy and shaking as he slowly lowered himself on your cock.

“s-stop—! stop it izu..aghn..~!” The wave of pleasure punched you in the face.

he was squatting on you like a rabbit, his hands on your abdomen and his back arched.

“haa..why’re you s..so tight..” your vision was blurry and you had already stopped trying to escape, it was no use. you’ve never been inside someone, you knew it would feel great but this…felt so much fucking better than you thought.

“d-don’t worry yn..I’ll milk your cock and it’ll feel great…~” he smiled pathetically as he lifted himself up and slammed himself back down, your cock hitting his prostate. He gasped loudly and arched his back oh so beautiful, tightening even more around you.

“Sh..shit izu..! you’re soo..hmnn~” you whined feeling your dick throb in him. he began at a fast and rough pace, bouncing on your dick.

“ugh- mm..~ so big yn…~! you feel so g-good..~” he’s moaning loudly while you just watch him fuck himself on your cock. you’re panting and feel as if you’re about to pass out and he still looks as cute as ever forcefully taking your virginity. you flush red and let out a small whimper.

“W-we’re still..close f..friends, right yn-y..” he leans down so he’s closer to your face.

“mm..” you’re too confused and lost in pleasure to respond properly. izuku smiles and gives you a small peck on the lips before sitting back up.

“I hope I can use your cock whenever I please yn..~” he roughly sat all the way down on your dick, his eyes rolled back and his tongue lolled out. a slutty moan ripped from his throat, your dick was deep in his gushy insides.

he tightened around you and you whined once more finally cumming deep inside him.

“haa..uhn~” your body was tired, you just kept watching him. What was he gonna do next. He slowly lifted himself and you watched your own nut drip out of him.

“hm…th..thank you yn..” he looked you in the eyes with such seductive eyes before he went limp and fell beside you on your bed, his quirk disappearing.

you shakily got up and went to clean yourself up, you cleaned your friend up as well and got back in bed.

you finally looked at izuku’s sleeping face and let out a small sigh.

though you wish he would’ve asked for consent, you’re kinda glad that virginity shit was over with. you’re confused is all.

you gently wrapped your arms around the smaller boy and pull him closer for warmth.

that morning you woke up with midoriya on your chest, his face hiding in the crook of your neck.

“izuk— ugh~!” you gasp realizing you were inside him again.

“let’s stay…like this..” he said tiredly kissing your neck before probably passing out… he was like addicted to this.

why can’t you say no to him.

a/n; what are y’all’s thoughts on izuku w/ the low taper fade

[breathinlove]

berry picking with els ellie williams

a/c: found this cuteness!

cw: js swearing i think

as soon as ellie got to jackson, you noticed her. well, everyone did, but you wasted no time introducing yourself with an invitation for her to sit next to you at dinner.

ellie was skeptical but she grew to like you. you were the same age and you both never knew your parents. you lived with your grandparents and they like saying they found you in the trash. it's not funny at all you think, specially because ellie joined in on the joke overtime.

they had a nice backyard where berries grew and everytime they were in season you and ellie found yourselves busy with berry picking. that kept happening for years until now, both of you 19, waiting to pick some berries.

“so yeah, jesse said you weren't shit and that you should die.” you smirked. you were all at the tipsy bison, talking about a game of cards you didn't care much about.

“you're such a fucker, dude.” ellie snickers and pushes jesse's arm.

“y/n’s the fucker, i just said you don't know how to play.” jesse shrugs and you and dina giggle.

“same difference.” ellie murmurs, looking outside, it must've been around 4pm. “whatever, me and y/n gotta go.”

you smile, dina and jesse start complaining about you both leaving early as ellie gathers her stuff.

“we're berry picking!” you say, smitten, as you get up.

“dumfolery ass tradition.” jesse fake coughs.

“ehhh, coming to think of it, it really is like a tradition. right?” ellie nudges your shoulder and you turn on your heels.

“yeah yeahhh… bye guys, miss you.” you wave to the friends you were leaving, dina smooches the air and jesse waves.

ellie leaves right behind you, jumping in excitement. you two count the hours for this, your parents only let you pick in the afternoon because ‘the morning sun is bad for the skin.’ or something.

“bruh, i’ve been waiting all.. day.. long for this shit.” she supports herself on your shoulders with both hands as she jumps

“calm your ass down… me too.”

you too walk to your house, greeting your parents first, which ellie very much likes doing because it always ends up with some making fun of you. afterwards, you two change into some clothes you can get dirty. you change into some shorts and a stained shirt, ellie just changes into joel’s clothes, he might be mad if he finds out.

you go to the backyard with baskets for the berries in hand, you get around the trees and bushes with smiles on your faces.

“they're so many this time.” you nudge her this time.

“i know right, we're gonna feast on berries.” she laughs, starting to pick them and you start doing the same.

you pick berries, eat them and laugh. gossiping and bickering, just like every other time, and as always ellie's gonna complain about-

“yikes, i touched a rotten one.” she starts wiggling her pink tainted hands around with a disgusted face.

“awh, poor baby.” you mock her, mimicking her and laughing.

“stop, it's disgusting.” she throws a berry at you after eating one herself.

“eww its yucky! that's what you sound like.” you smirk, looking away from her and going back to picking your berries, knowing you'd make her mad.

she comes closer and pushes you, you lose balance and fall into a bush, eliciting an “ughh elliee!!!” and a cry of pain.

“alright, i’m sorry.” she stands out her hand for you, willing to help, you take it. “you're just soooo annoying.” she laughs.

you scoff and pull her down with you, she falls on top of you, each hand on each side of you and a leg snug in between yours. she's silent since she fell and you're studying her face as it becomes pink, now it looks like the berries didn't only stain her hands and lips, but her whole face.

“you blushing?” you smirk and she sits up on her heels immediately, turning her face to the side.

“no? stupid.” she coughs, covering her face with a hand.

“you're still embarrassed even after i made you my girlfriend, what a loser.” you sit up and give her a soft kiss, holding her pink hot cheeks.

ellie palms your neck with her clammy hands, holding it as she kissing you deeper.

“bruh i love these berries.” she changes the subject giggling. she gets up and turns away from you.

“you were blushinggggg…” you get up after her, hot on her trail.

“shut your traps!” she refused to look you in the face for the rest of the berry picking, choosing to pick them 5 steps away from you.

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 08/10✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like in cannon baby MK was the kind of kid to eat glue, mainly because he hatched from a rock and doesn't know what anything is.

isn’t it like how all babies are? I think I also used to eat glue

@purpleprinceblood ha chiesto: In the spicynoodles bit where you explain how Red Son was charmed by Mk's beautiful personality and kind nature (/silly), you said Mk is Demi sexual Do you have other sexuality headcanons for the cast, or is it just "they're gay for each other"?

Pan for Mei, Bi for Redson, both Wukong and Macaque are in a way pan, in the sense that they don’t really care about gender, but are only gay for each other.

@kehideni ha chiesto: Whatever happened with never drawing a background ever again? :D On a more serious note: may we know the exact relation of DBK and Chiyou(did i spell that right?)? I'm just the nosy type :3

Chiyou has 72 brothers, one of them is an ancestor of DBK

@marcusalexander ha chiesto: I have a question is spider queen in your comic, and if so, is she like a part of the team or enemy or anuite? I'm just curious since she isn't that evil. By the way, I love your comic shadowpeach parents

The AU is set after S5, so I guess she’s enemy

Anonimo ha chiesto: Macaque HAS to be doing a little happy dance in the bio parents AU that murder isn’t considered distinct from self-defense Imagine being like… a legitimate threat to the world around you, and getting put down to defend it, and then being hailed as “the less bad one” because you were killed But this also means that MK probably views himself as a murdered for killing the LBD/Azure Lion too cause again “killing in self defense/defense of others= murder

most likely MK feels super duper guilty for what he did, and will continue to be until he get some extra comfort.

@goldenthecat ha chiesto: I'm wondering, since you watch lmk do you watch other Lego shows too? Like Ninjago or friends

does having saw the ninjago movie and a 4 hours video essay recap about the first 14 season count?

@haruwashere29 ha chiesto: Did wukong put his head over macaque’s chest to hear his heartbeat? 😭😭😭

OH OK NOW WE ARE ON WITH THE ANGST. YES 100%

Anonimo ha chiesto: You said Wukong is warm , change my mind that macaque has absolutely put his cold feet straight on wukongs back while he was sleeping not just cause he was cold but because he thought it was funny

hehe he has cold feet poor boy.

@og-glitch-punk ha chiesto: I'm haunting you at thisnpoint im so sorry but your lmk comic gives ideas and thoughts bro lmao /gen SO HERES ANITHER THOUGHT... If you technically think about it, MK is basically an clone (not but words are EHHH) of Sun wukong because they came from the sane rock. But what about our spooky Macaque? We have no knowledge of how he came to be but we all may assume it's the same way with MK and Wukong. but.. BUT. If Macaque had his own stone somewhere in the shadows then what if there's an basically MK but Macaque verison? Even if not, that would be wild to think about lol

like a slightly more emo version of MK? Something like the OK KO situation?

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hello I just wanted to say I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMIC it's sooooo good I'm obsessed and the recent part... I have no word only emotion Even though I use Tumblr for a while I still getting use to it so.. do you know any other Shadowpeach comics? I couldn't find any 😅

mmmm @kristea9ay is doing a shadowpeach parent story that’s really cute!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I NEED to see wukong and macaque having a cute moment and accidentally touch each others tails yk? 🥺🥺🥺 (and mk quitting is a stab to the chest, i dont think there is anything worse in store... Right?... RIGHT?!)

at this point they ain’t touching the tails “accidentally” anymore these bitches are too gay I can’t anymore-

@amyrosewithoutshadow ha chiesto: I think the next one that will need Sandy is Wukong, lol I always thought about one thing, how Wukong deal with traumas and crises? We only saw him dealing with it during his sleep, but what about a daylight crises? Love your art 💞

he has a “I can do it with a broken heart”-by-taylor-Swift-masking situation.

@alizardonfire ha chiesto: I understand why MK doesn't want to be their successor mostly because I think he needs time to think about all of it. There's a lot to unpack! I love how wukongs more shocked about it. And I think macaque kinda saw it coming?

i think Mac forseen that MK would have changed his view on Wukong for sure. But he didn’t know in which way.

@siennabanana ha chiesto: HDBDJDBDHSHDV NEW HEADCANON UNLOCKED: sometimes he misses his human form but he doesn’t tell wukong and macaque bc he feels like that would be an insult to them and plus he still thinks his monkey form is cool but eughhh dysphoriaa

awwww he might be sometimes! Good thing they are starting to hang out outside FFM as well!

@blazerratbluefire-blog ha chiesto: If Wukong ever manages to be able to control his kaiju form, I could easily see Macaque's kaiju form using him as a bed, and along comes MK wanting in on the action. Then, he proceeds to lay on top of Macaque, squishing him with his kaiju and making a wholesome monkey family bonding session. With Wukonh laughing that Macaque is being squished. Just a funny thought I had.

oh my I think he would be waaayyy to big for the other two ahah

Anonimo ha chiesto: For your LMK shadowpeach AU will Ironfan be making up for all of MK's birthdays she missed? (Dropping off a mountain of presents at FFM?) (My partner joked she would give Redson in a box, not in a bow or anything just in an open box like a cat.)

she would probably make a courtnapping room for her son to gift him, and Red Son would die from embarrassment right there.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Dose macaque sometimes cook for MK and wukong since wukong tends to eat his fur/hair and macaque fonts approve of it

I think yes, he would cook probably really basics but nutrient-full meals, the few times they don’t eat noodle from pigsy shop

Anonimo ha chiesto: TCan we get Red Son and MK Angst because Red Son technology tried to kill MK a lot of times?

just bc of the AU main plot I don’t think so, also bc at this point traffic light trio are all friends with each other.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Speaking of birthdays, I assume Pigsy and Tang celebrate when MK showed up in their life or a random day when MK first asked about his birthday. Would Wukong and Macaque ask Nuwa the day he was put in the rock/broken out of it (I assume he came out and was immediately brought to Pigsy the same day but idk) or is that sort of a sore subject still, with the whole harbinger thing?

I think the best thing would be to celebrate it the day they found it!

@yuk1yun ha chiesto: Giuro che è un mese che provo a rendere il mio cosplay di mk simile alla tua au (perché anche se è semplice è stupendo), ma non so come fare le orecchie... Sono di nuovo qui per dirti quanto adoro la rua au btw :)

ADUYDJYTDY SE HAI BISOGNO DI RIFERIMENTI FAMMI SAPERE! E MANDAMI IL RISULTATO QUANDO HAI FINITO!!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I'm just waiting until Mk realizes the other things Wukong and Macaque did, yk like what Sun did to Redson, what Mac did to some of the monkeys all that

I think with time MK will slowly learn everything, but for example I guess now Red Son and Wukong are at truce

Anonimo ha chiesto: I'm just obsessed with your shadowpeach comics!!✨✨ But heey~ how about bai he!? l think it will be super amazing if add her in the future to this little cute monkeys family

awww baby!! I hope she went back to her family honestly! But I also hope sometimes she visits MK!

@yainmy ha chiesto: Oh gods I when I found this bio parents au I got HOOKED. I love it so much and the shenanigans and the angst are just *chef's kiss*. I have some curious questions if you don't mind me asking, but if a similar situation happens in the future like when mk got baby-fied, but instead his forms get split up (human and monkey demon) would he have that child crisis of fear "if im not this certain way they wont want me as theirs anymore", considering he is still learning about the whole monkey business? Also in a shenanigans sort of question, I don't remember how stone monkeys are made in their world but it would be hilarious if mk asked wukong and macaque that since they both are male and they technically "had" him then does that mean they can give him a sibling if they wanted? Sorry if it's to long of an ask 😅

i think MK would mostly feel a sense of loss for the fact that in a way, things should have been like this, like when he “hatched” Wukong probably would have found him if it wasn’t for the fact someone or something brought it to Pigsy shop. He would have grown up with someone who could tell him how to be a stone Monkey and teach him his power. Surely, I think Wukong wouldn’t have been as good as a parent as Pigsy, and MK doesn’t regret a bit how things actually ended up happening, but it’s a bit of a case of “sometimes I imagine how my life would have been if it went this way”

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know it's a bit out of the scope of your comic, but I'm wondering if Mei's design is just stylistic additions as if they were always there due to her dragon heritage, or if you have any ideas of scenes that took place as she grew more dragon features?

she started to grow more and more into them after she was accepted by her family sword and started to use her dragon form more and more.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you ever think Macaque and Wukong argue over who the little monkeys on the mountain like more? Like Im 100% sure Macaque wouldn't really care but the idea of not being the favorite bothers Wukong

the monkeys go crazy for soft fur Mamacaque. Wukong will always be pissed at this.

@snsp6 ha chiesto: do u like the hc that Mac has naturally snow-white fur? cs when u showed him wo glamours I realized that u don’t rlly color anything so I wanted to ask if it was still black or some type of mix between the two

akjdkajsbkaj I love for that shit YES. Yeah I don’t really colour my comics but yeah he cover it with glamour

Anonimo ha chiesto: I don't think MK ever really acknowledged that Wukong is a person, still a glorified deity. As mentioned MK hasn't really read the actual book and really didn't know his flawed side. MK has seen the worst parts of Macaque and still accepted him.

and now he knows about Wukong worst oarts and still accept him :D

@alistairliddell ha chiesto: What is FFM?

Flower Fruit Mountain

[simp-ly-writes]

The Comment's Section (pt.10)

─────── · ·

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: an epilogue (no spoilers here!).

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, slowburn, fluff, light angst, cheesiness, friends that act like lovers, friends to lovers, mutual pining, attempt at humour, social media au, officially lovers.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT

─ · · A/N: my last smosh fic! thank you all seriously for all the support. I wouldn't have written as much as I did for the fandom without the comments, reblogs and tags I have had the pleasure of receiving. I may come back once I get through the creative burnout i'm feeling for smosh but who knows! Anways-uh... enjoy!

─────── · ·

A few years later...

🔔 (name)s_username just posted for the first time in awhile, check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by phatchance, spennser, glen_powell, and others

(name)s_username Never really been much of a secret just how much I love my best friend that I can now, officially, call my husband 🫶

Thank you, Spencer, for dealing with my bullshit, for calling me out, letting me cry on your shoulder, yell in your face, eat everything in your fridge and yet still find ways to love me, all of me, and never make me question it for a moment. Thank you, my love, for showing me what love can feel like, what it can look like, and how it can be practiced.

It does not feel like twenty years have gone by but then again, I see you everyday and now I get that with the promise of forever. I love you and that is something I will never take for granted.

*No pictures from the wedding, sorry everyone but I'm keeping those for myself, friends, and family :-) Have roadtrip pictures instead!

View all 11,301 comments

spennser gosh, I didn't know we were hard-launching already?!

↳ (name)s_username babe, we did that nearly five years ago... 😬

username01 I will NEVER get over these two! 😭 I want a love like this! Its been so incredibly beautiful and fulfilling watching you two interact on screen together, congratulations! You both deserve nothing but happiness! #(yourshipname)isforever

username31 why is nobody else commenting about that last picture 🤣

co_mill you have me inspired to re-new my vows! Gosh, I remember meeting you both for the first time and seeing that initial re-spark and to see it, to celebrate it now, gosh-bestie you have my crying. I'm so happy for you both 🫶 #(yourshipname)isforever

↳ (name)s_username you have me sobbing now too! and I told myself I wouldn't cry anymore today! 😭 thank you for always believing in us (even when we didn't lol) ↳ co_mill of course! some people are just meant to be, just at a different time. ❤️❤️ ↳ (name)s_username couldn't have said it better myself ❤️❤️ ↳ username24 okay but why is this thread the most wholesome thing on the interweb??? ↳ username00 who tf says "interweb?"

username69 still don't understand why anyone would care about such a terrible person like yourself. The biggest liar is here and everyone knows it- you lie to yourself too.

username31 congratulations!!! 🎉

username12 OMG THEY GOT MARRIED????? 🥳 YESSSS #(yourshipname)isforever

shayne_topp woah! you got married? OMG I did that too!

↳ (name)s_username oh shit really? I'm still trying to figure out if I like this whole marriage thing or not... /sarcasm ↳ shayne_topp ehhh, I mean, I don't know about you but I have a pretty killer marriage. You and Spencer can try... ↳ (name)s_username SPENCER!! 👺 ↳ spennser yes, love? ❤️ ↳ (name)s_username do we have a better marriage than shourtney? 🥹 ↳ spennser I-uh... 😬 ↳ anthony_padilla (psst, just say yes!) ↳ spennser yes! 😄 ↳ (name)s_username see shanye! take that! 😄 ↳ username88 "yes, love" AHHHHHHHHHHH 💞

username33 #(yourshipname)isforever #(yourshipname)isforever #(yourshipname)isforever #(yourshipname)isforever

username29 YESSS LET"S GOOOOO BOYSSSSS!!!!!!

filmingamanda does this mean I can't make anymore "spencer is attractive jokes, now?"

↳ (name)s_username I mean... you're not wrong so I won't stop you 😉

username90 this all feels surreal... but congrats!! 👏

ianhecox proud of you both, truly ❤️

chickenshopdate and here goes another ex of mine getting married. WHEN WILL IT BE MY TIME GOD??? PLEASEEE

phatchance you both looked so beautiful today 🫶

tomeybones wishing you both years of happiness to come!!

username12 I hate you, so much now.

─────── · ·

🔔 spennser just posted for the first time in awhile, check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by (name)s_username, filmingamanda, and others

spennser today and everyday from now, I get the pleasure of waking up in my spouses arms. if you would have asked me in college that I would be dating a movie star, comedian, writer, and director as talented, smart, and gorgeous as (name); I would have, quite frankly, told you to shut up and fuck off.

Funny how things change, huh? I now cannot think of a singular day without you in it and cannot remember a day without you in my life. I am so incredibly thankful that you fell in love with me, trusted me with your heart up until now and for forever.

You will always have my love and support. My arms to welcome you back home and I will make sure you never question how much I love you, my love and show you everyday just how much you mean to me.

*No pictures from the wedding! Keeping that private, please do not go looking for pictures.

View all 4,220 comments

(name)s_username I love you, so much. 🫶

↳ spennser I love you. 🫶

username01 AHHHHH. 😭 No but like- AHHHHH you GUYsss are killing me here. After years of waiting im now dying here. My heart cannot take this level of sweetness 🫶 #(yourshipname)isforever

smosh #(yourshipname)isforever

smoshgames #(yourshipname)isforever

smoshpit #(yourshipname)isforever

↳ username99 not all the smosh channels coming together LMAO 😂

username24 "So this is love, mhmm, mhmm, so this is what makes like divine~" - (name) x Spencer

username68 babe, wake up! (name) and Spencer actually got married! #(yourshipname)isforever

damienhass you guys are so stinkin' cute 😊

username77 eh. I bet it'll last a year or two before Spencer gets sick of em.

anthonypadilla with everyone getting married im beginning to feel left out...

↳ ianhecox I mean... we could always get married?

username33 I love that this whole post is about Spence being both genuinely so happy the get to call (name) there's but also wondering how on earth he managed to get with (name) too XD

username90 wishing the couple nothing but happiness and respect 🫡

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: and holy shit! the comments section is finally over! thank you all again for reading this far, I hope you all have enjoyed reading this series as much as I did writing it. 🫶 - I will always think about this lol

─ · · SPENCER AGNEW TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @babble2 @delaneyburghardt @thevintagefangirl @uniquely-haunting @maricarorp @sarahskywalker-amidala @laurasdrey

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: “Babe, you have an amazing brain, love everything going on in there-”

Charlie: “Thank you!”

Vaggie: “-but we need a LITTLE bit of organization or we’re NEVER gonna remember what great ideas you had five minutes ago.”

Charlie: “Wait, what great idea did I have five minutes ago???”

Vaggie: “I don’t know. You scribbled it on a napkin and there’s like, five hundred of those scattered around our room.”

Charlie: “Aw shoot.”

Vaggie: “Some of them are folded in the shape of swans?"

Charlie: "Nnnoooo I've been trying so hard not to DO that so much!!!"

Vaggie: "It’s, pretty impressive honestly.”

Charlie: (huffs) “Okay. Fine. Maaaybe you’re right. Maybe I might have a slight, uh, organizing thoughts problem.”

Vaggie: “No worries sweetie, I have a solution.”

Vaggie: (dramatically steps aside) “BAM!”

Charlie: “OH OH VAGGIE! YOU GOT ME METAL BOXES~!”

Vaggie: “They’re filing cabinets.”

Charlie: “OHHHHH!!!”

Charlie: “…..”

Charlie: “How… how do we activate the filing cabinets?”

Vaggie: “You put your ideas in folders, label the tabs on the folders, put them in a drawer, and label each drawer. Then when you’re looking for something you just open the drawer and-”

Charlie: “Bam?”

Vaggie: “Bam. There it is. The brilliant ideas of Charlie Morningstar.”

Charlie: “As organized by Vaggie, her amazing wonderful super smart and beautiful girlfriend!!!!!”

Vaggie: (chuckling) “I don’t think looking good has anything to do with organizing…”

Charlie: “Hmm, you still are though, miss good looking. Annnnnd it DOES have a lot to do with what I’m thinking about right now.”

Vaggie: “What’re you thinking, Charlie?”

Charlie: (grins)

Vaggie: “…really? Right here, in front of our new cabinets?”

Charlie: “Heheh. I like it when stuff is ‘ours’~”

Vaggie: “Why do I get the feeling the first recorded thoughts of Charlie Morningstar are gonna have to be filed under ‘for our eyes only’.”

Charlie: “Your smirk would have to go there too then. But does this mean it’s a good idea!?”

Vaggie: “Definitely.”

Charlie: “WOO! Kisses kisses kisses-”

Vaggie: “AFTER we’ve cleaned up all these napkins. AND have neatly folded the ones that aren’t already swans.”

Charlie: “Wh- but- but there’s almost five hundred of them!! The kisses-?”

Vaggie: “One kiss per every fifty napkins, how’s that sound?

Charlie: (pouting) “Insufficient kiss ratio.”

Vaggie: “Sorry, but as much as organizing your brain turns me on, the storm of paper in here is kinda a total mood killer. No way I can focus on anything with this mess everywhere. So. Start cleaning.”

Charlie: “I’m starting to think writing on napkins was my worst idea yet…”

Vaggie: “Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been paper airplanes again.”

Charlie: “THEN I could’ve just thrown them all out the window! Be free! Fly!!! Shoo! Let me make out with my girlfriend in peace!”

Vaggie: “Ha!”

Charlie: “…. Vaggie. What if we-”

Vaggie: “Charlie no.”

Charlie: “Oh come on! Swans can fly!”

Vaggie: “Not when they’re fancy origami ones that we’ll just have to clean up later anyway.”

Charlie: “Feh. Stupid ideas on stupid napkins.”

Vaggie: “Would one kiss per every two dozen napkins make you feel better?’

Charlie: “Yes.” (deep sigh) “But I’ve only folded ten.”

Vaggie: “Perfect, I’ve done fourteen, so that makes two dozen.”

Charlie: “Wh-”

Vaggie: “Kiss ratio completed.”

Charlie: “It’s based on our combined number???”

Vaggie: “Why not. You like it when stuff is ‘ours’, don’t you.”

Charlie: “….yesthankyouiloveyouonekissplease.”

- a few several many moments later –

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “I’m suddenly getting the idea that… those were way more than one kiss.”

Vaggie: “I don’t care and wasn’t keeping count. File it under ‘Vaggie can’t multitask for shit’.”  

Charlie: “Mmm, ehhh. I think we just need a ‘Vaggie has AMAZING focus while kissing, but specifically only on the actual kissing’ folder instead.”

Vaggie: “Are you trying to get me to kiss you again.”

Charlie: “Is it working?”

Vaggie: (shoving napkins in her hands) “Here. Fold.”

Charlie: “I’m filing that under a yes~”

Vaggie: “Charlie. Fold. NOW.”

Charlie: “Hm-hmm-hm-hmmm~” (folding at lightspeed) “My newest great idea is that we should get even MORE filing cabinets.”

Vaggie: “Oh for-”(throws aside napkins) “-fuck’s sake-” (gives up and kisses her again)

[impactrueno]

hello dear! I was wondering and i apologize if you’ve already been asked but I was curious…ik that that toonjuice cares about Lydia like a niece/daughter, and the musical cares about her too, how would both react at how keetenjuice treated movie Lydia in the first film when she was a kid?…like say they never knew he was a p#do, how would they react? (And I’m sorry if this sounds bad or weird I’m just curious if they’re protective and shit or?…😭😭)

ok sorry first off i gotta reiterate: movie beetlejuice is not....a pedo....he was just using lydia as a green card thing just like musical beetlejuice.........he says it himself

this misconception comes from people repeating it a lot, especially after they spread the knowledge about the first versions of the movie script (which they changed for good reason,) but when you watch the actual movie and pay attention to what he says and how the wedding goes, it's a lot more clear that his sole intent was to cross over as soon as the wedding was finalized and get the hell out. especially now that we can compare that scene to the sequel where he actually IS into lydia now as an adult (which is creepy as hell on its own but it's very much not pedophilia let's not water down the terms here) and THIS wedding is like a WHOLE thing, he relishes it, he's not frantically hurrying it up, he takes his sweet time trying to woo lydia and enjoys it. his attitude could not be more different this time around

ok now that that's out of the way

if you're asking about my comics specifically, i've been writing them like they're already caught up with what went down with their respective lydias. each of them knows that movie bj tried to marry his lydia twice and has been stalking her for 30 years (he himself mentions it and musical bj uses that against him to insult him,) that musical bj DID marry his lydia but she immediately killed him (cartoon bj called her the "little black widow" and movie bj mocks him for getting tricked into it, as if he himself didn't also get tricked into marriage and murdered by his first wife lol) and that cartoon bj is best friends with his lydia and hangs out with her all the time (babysitting her, as movie bj put it.) the rest, they've been finding out through their conversations.

cartoon bj as we already know is jealously protective of his lydia, but musical bj ehhh not that much. hell, i'd argue he needs to be protected from her, lol.

i think he just knows she can take care of herself, she IS tougher than she looks and he can personally vouch for that. he did step in to save her from his mother, but i think that might've just been because he literally owed her his (incredibly brief) life and he wasn't gonna let someone take that from her. that has more to do with how he himself feels about life and death than how he feels about his lydia, i think. i'm not saying he doesn't care about her because he clearly does. but it's not like the dynamic cartoon bj and lyds have.

cartoon bj's protectiveness of lydia stems solely from how much he cares about her. he's not noble, he's not a hero, he's not a good guy, he doesn't protect her because it's the right thing to do, but because that's HIS best friend and no one better touch a hair on her head or take her away from him. a little selfish but oddly sweet in his own beetlejuicey way. lydia thinks so, at least.

i went off on a tangent here but i think establishing how they feel will help ppl understand where i'm coming from with this argument.

your question is how they would react to learning how movie bj treated his lydia when she was 15:

i talked a bit about how cartoon bj wouldn't stand up to the other two because he knows he has no room to talk, and i think he would only take action if either of them tried to do anything to his lydia (which they won't, obviously, but HE doesn't know that and doesn't trust them) but he also can't help but have a fondness for the other two lydias even if he doesn't really know them. he probably thinks hey if they're lydia, they're probably great. cartoon lydia has similar feelings about the other two juices; she thinks they can't possibly be that bad. but she's not stupid, she's also a bit wary. i think she just wants to get to know them and understand them, maybe sees them as misunderstood, just like how she sees her own beej.

now musical bj.........lol he would be the KING OF HYPOCRITES if he gave movie bj any shit about what he did, because he did exactly the same and was WAY more aggressive about it. he's extremely volatile and that makes him the most dangerous of the three in my opinion. he and lydia became friends, she left him alone for a bit to find out if she could see her dead mom again, his mommy issues and abandonment issues made him take that extremely personally ("you wanna treat me like a demon? then i'll be a demon") and he immediately decided he was gonna backstab her and force her to marry him so he could become alive and not be alone anymore. he tricked her the exact same way jeremy tricked astrid and almost got barbara killed just to extort lydia into agreeing to the marriage and possibly to also get back at her for leaving him, at the maitlands for helping her and everyone else for getting in his way. full on rampage. then when he falls for her bait and switch, he goes "ok well my plan failed so now i'm gonna kill ALL OF YOU"

if anything i think movie bj would be the one questioning musical bj about this stuff, especially now that he seems to have genuine feelings for lydia and helped her save astrid and get rid of rory (the rory thing was a freebie too, but i guess he needed him out of the picture if he planned to marry lydia anyway.) how he dealt with rory and jeremy shows that he actually has some integrity, and from how he talks about dolores we know that "even he has his limits." he follows through with every single deal he's made and he's never lied to lydia once. you can't say the same thing for the other two juices (cartoon bj constantly disappointing his lydia with his lies and lack of integrity, and musical bj for lying to, tricking and backstabbing his lydia)

i think movie bj would come up to musical bj, drape an arm over his shoulder to pull him closer "hey c'mere. lawrence. may i call you lawrence? just wanted to know what the hell is yer damage. lydia can teach ya some breathing exercises to, yknow, control yer emotions so you can stop making a fool of yerself know what i mean?" pat him firmly and stare him down with a scary sleazy smile. musical bj does need therapy. like. asap lol

it's interesting because it's not how you would expect things to go. but when you look closely and compare each of them....it's what makes the most sense.

at least that's what i think, this is all my opinion of course

[aliamor]

Thought this would be funny since I finally got to watch the Minecraft stream everyone's talking about with Case, sketch, and Jynxi(I think is how u spell it)

What would it be like if Y/n was playing there with them. It can be platonic or romantic but I'd think it would be so hilarious that case went to the mines and came back up and sketch and Jynxi have only made a bridge and Y/n is no where in sight cause she dropped their dead weight and she's got a whole base built up 😭

Only if u want to though! Make sure your staying healthy and drinking plenty of water 😤

I love thisss, i got youu, literally watching that stream had me STRESSED OUT.

But loove you, im staying healthy. Make sure you all are staying healthy too and taking care of yourselfs🗣️

—

Playing minecraft with caseoh was always fun, but the mix of sketch and jynxzi… wasnt a productive run through.

Sketch and jynxzi would mess around hitting each other as the day gets wasted once again. Case and you running around getting wood and coal and other good resources. Cases many failed attempts to teach the other two shortly ends as case explores into a cave and never to see the light of day ever again.

But you decide to stick by the other two so nothing to bad can happen, but they manage it to be. About 20 minutes into that, your minecraft skin disappears into the the forest that you’ve told them you’d ‘get wood from’. But really sneaking off to set off into different land.

Case every so often comes through his mic to ask you how your doing, and responding back with “good, hows the caves treating you?”.

“Ehhh…not as smooth as i want it to be” he always hums back.

Hour of that going on and off with the constant laugher coming out through the mic because of sketchs or jynxzis funny remarks, they were having fun so thats all that matters.

“You dont seem as excited as i am with this bridge” sketch speaks out to jynxzi. God knows what he means because at this point you’re miles away from them with a nice pretty house built, food cooking up in the furnace and armor building up. But soon you hear that case is rising out of the dust, finding sketchs beautiful four lane bridge. Cases voice rings through the mic, “i come back from the deadlist expedition of my life to find you built a bridge to a cave THAT GOES NO WHERE!!”

Cases hand slaps down on his desk as you laugh hearing it more promptly from the other room of our house, “and where is y/n?? YALL LOST THEM OH NAHHH..”

“I got lost and built a house from where i was” i lied out, though i did build a house its the ‘i got lost’ part that was a lie

“Baby give me your coordinates, lemme come see you” case says, which you do and he goes in that direction for about 10 minutes before coming across a nicely built house, which of course has everything he needs. A basement that can have a cave mining strip, furnaces on furnaces, and a farm growing out back.

“WOAHHH! HOLY, HOW IN THE WORLD??” He says as explores into the house more.

MWAH,

Would kill to play minecraft with caseoh, it would be so fun😭 be safe lovelys🩷

[dearemilia]

When you know, you know

pairings | Ace Trappola x gn! reader

tags | fluff, hurt to comfort, Grim and Deuce being third wheels, teenage love.

note | This is for my dear hana! @ranhaitanisgf, I just got a little inspired so just think of this fic as a gift! ( •̀ ω •́ )y

In your entire life, you have never expected to be relieved about touching grass.

Having to deal with Idia’s overblot and rescuing the ones who did overblot was draining your energy.

You feel lightheaded, sweaty, and tired. 

You are so lightheaded that you think you can hear Ace’s voice, you think you are hallucinating…wait— “Prefect!! Grim!!” Never mind, you aren’t hallucinating. 

“Ace! Deuce!” Cried Grim.

“H-hey! Catch them Grim!” “H-Huh?!”

Before you could fall flat on the ground, crushing Grim. You felt a pair of arms wrapping around you.

You raised your head to look at Ace.

His face was unusually plastered with a concerned look, you could almost feel his heart fasten with each second passing.

“P-Prefect! Are you okay?! We should get you to the infirmary!”

“Ehhh! Henchman! Why is your face so pale?!”

You touched your forehead, staring at Grim and Deuce with a weak smile “I’m fine…I just need some sleep, that’s all” 

“You…You idiot…”

Just as you open your mouth to speak, Ace beats you to it “You could’ve actually died there! Do you even know how dangerous it was?!”

He continued “Why do you always have to put yourself in danger, dammit!”

Your eyes widened, seeing tears drop from his eyes “Ace…I didn’t—” You sigh “I had to go, I needed to save Grim and the others” You tried reasoning with him.

“But what about us?! You can rely on us too right?! On me?!” 

Ace has never cried this much in his entire life.

Why did you have to go around making him worried like this? Why don’t you ever open up to him? Do you not trust him? Or was it because you didn’t know how?

“I know, I know, I wasn’t thinking straight, and I—”

Before you could even continue, you felt him hug you so tightly that it felt like your ribs could crack. The others watch in silence.

Ace seemed to realize that everyone was watching them and he pushed away from you.

He wiped his tears away, furiously.

“Tch…I was just a little worried that’s all!”

“I thought that…I mean—we! We thought we’d lost you…” Deuce rolled his eyes at Ace’s comment.

He smiled, relieved “We are just glad that you are alive”

Deuce smirked at Ace “Ace here, couldn’t stop thinking about you—He even demanded the teachers that he’d go after you” 

“W-What?! No, I didn’t!”

“That’s something Ace would definitely do”

“What?! Grim, shut your mouth!”

You let out a laugh and Ace found himself staring at you, even if he’s seen you multiple times. Yeah, he knows he probably looks stupid right now.

He’s always thought you looked a little cute but now, right in front of him. You’re ethereal.

“C’mon, let’s get you to the infirmary” Ace looked away with a blushing face and ears almost as red as his dorm leader’s hair.

As the four of you go to the infirmary, you say “I'm sorry…Ace”

He raised a brow “For what?” 

“That I made you worry for me”

Ace felt his heart pounding “Don’t apologize…I just—I just couldn’t bear to think of losing you…” He rubbed his neck.

“And…I’m sorry for yelling at you like that”

You smiled “It’s alright…I was worried about you too, you know” Ace felt like his heart would explode right there and then.

“I was…afraid of not being able to see you again”

“Really?”

“Really”

Ace had always thought that if you went back to your world, he wouldn’t care and that this ‘small’ feeling would go away once you returned to your world.

But now all he could think about was you staying with him.

Perhaps, it's not just a small crush like he thought it was. Maybe he wants to stay with you forever.

Meanwhile, Deuce and Grim whispered to each other.

“Geez, when are they gonna confess? It’s making me barf just watching them like this”

“Ace better be buying me tuna if he ever dates my henchman!"

header by @cafekitsune

[sugoi-writes]

KNY HCs - A Surprise Kiss! (Hashiras + Kamado Crew) Part 1

Prompt: You give them a kiss unexpectedly; how do they react, when they like you back?

A/N: This is Part 1! This part includes Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Inosuke, Rengoku, Giyuu, Shinobu, and Sanemi. Next part will include the rest of the Hashira, Nezuko, and Genya.

Some of these have implied less-fluffy notes, but nothing explicit/over the top.

Tanjiro

Let's be honest, he would internally be a mess. He would try hiding it, but his face would flush and give himself away. He would hastily touch the spot you kissed him (whether his cheek, lips, forehead, etc.), eyes beaming.

"S-Sorry, I wasn't expecting that...!" Unprompted, he would take you by the wrist if you were trying to walk away," W-Wait!!! Let me return the favor!!!" Mentally, it's like you're proposing to him. This boy takes you and your love VERY seriously!!!

One kiss becomes MANY. He isn't overtly the PDA type, but makes it his goal to sneak up or surprise you with it every once in a while. Especially before big missions.

He becomes more protective of you, like Nezuko, and always makes the time to kiss you good morning, and kiss you goodnight. It's a routine that he will live by, and love by, as long as he can have you. Domestic vibes, for sure.

Zenitsu

Let's be for real: you already know what happens. But let's get into it anyway:

Similar to Tanjiro, he goes to touch the spot you kissed him at," Ehh?? Ehhh?? Y/N-san??? Was that real-- just now?!" He's stammering, blushing vibrantly. You may have to kiss him again just to keep him from spiraling with questions.

He would be a mess under your kisses/touch. He would be all over you in a SECOND, clinging to your arm, his arms wrapped around your waist: anyway he can be close/touching you, he will. He makes it his mission to never leave your side again.

He becomes heavily protective of you: to the point he has "The Talk" with Tanjiro and Inosuke. He'd be warning them that if they try to make a move: he'd kill them (all jokes... for SURE). He's spunky and fiery, but as soon as you get a hold of him, he's putty in your hands.

Inosuke

He gets a far off look on his face, before snapping back to reality," WHAT WAS THAT?!"

You'd have to explain it properly for it to sink in. And even then, it may take a few times for it to really click. He would have to talk through it, OUT LOUD, even if other people were around.

"So it's not an attack; it's meant to be a good gesture... Friends don't normally do it, but there is a stage ABOVE friends that do all the time... it's disarming, but it's STILL not an attack or a way to parry..." Inosuke would grab you by the shoulders, shaking you.

"TEACH ME MORE!!! IT MAY NOT BE AN ATTACK, BUT IT CAN STILL BE USED IN BATTLE!!! THEY'D NEVER SEE ME COMIN--'"

You explain that the boar mask would have to come off for that to be effective. Then his resilience would deflate, but he'd get the picture. Can't go around kissing demons...

But he DOES do it to you. It becomes a game to him. Almost like rough housing/fighting... Whenever you're in a compromising position, whenever you're doing chores or tasks, even before a big mission: Inosuke always surprises you with a kiss.

Again, one becomes many... and soon enough he deduces that there's a reason you only kiss him... so in return, he'll save his kisses for you.

Rengoku

His large eyes, normally unblinking and brilliant, twitch. He would blink a moment or two, looking up/down to you.

"Ahh! Thank you, friend! That is very sweet!" You would have to explain that you had feelings that stemmed PAST friendship.

"...OH. Ohh, goodness... well-- nothing is more valuable than companionship. I am honored that you've considered me."

He would wrap his arms around you so quickly, spin you around and kiss you deeply.

"Allow me to choose you, too!! I choose... to be with you!!!" Be careful. Similar to Tanjiro, it almost feels like a proposal. 

He would usually be his normal self around you, but would go out of his way to kiss you. Especially before big missions or summons. He would make the time to see you and be with you, even if it was a detriment to himself. Whenever he kisses you, he locks you in somehow: by a hug, a two-handed caress of your face, or even by locking his legs around you... (This last part is mostly if he's sitting down)

Like it or not, his kisses are as fiery as his spirit: it's VERY easy to get worked up for the both of you. It's like Lays: you can't have just ONE.

Giyuu

Similar to Rengoku, he would be taken by surprise. You would see his eyebrow move slightly, or his eyes widen a touch. Even with him being super dense emotionally, the dots connect for him instantly.

"O-Ohh..." More than usual, he's basically speechless. But leave it to him to practically sweep you off your feet with a kiss in return. He takes it seriously.

You started it. And now he won't let you go a day without at least a few kisses, heated or tame.

Much like Inosuke, he would go out of his way to find you and kiss you. But unlike some of the others, he won't shy away from doing it in front of others. He doesnt give a FUCK if they see, make fun of you two, etc. A kiss is a kiss, and hes gonna have one with you whether they care or not.

Some think it's on purpose, to show the other Hashira that he has friends AND more. But Giyuu is just REALLY touch starved. And he REALLY likes you.

His kisses are intense, especially before a big trip or mission. It's hard not to get into something more when he comes for you. He practically makes your legs give out, and he has held you the few times they have.

His kisses are dangerous. Be careful with this one. Especially if you aren't alone...

Shinobu

"Hmm? Did you need something--"

When you kiss her, she wordlessly kissing you back, smiling," Ahh~ you're so sweet, Y/N-san!"

At first, she thinks you're just overly friendly or affectionate (similar to Mitsuri). But she starts to get it once it starts to happen more often.

Her kisses are interesting. She kisses you places that are a bit off-kilter. The knuckles on your hands, the tip of your nose, close to a spot where she had to stick/poke you for blood.... she kisses you most everywhere, but hardly ever on your lips.

She's not the type to show PDA: she'll hardly ever do it. But when she does want to kiss you directly, she's making excuses to sneak you away and do it privately. It's a very intimate thing for her, and she doesnt want to feel prying eyes. It's hard for her, especially at the Butterfly Estate, but she warms up to you and PDA after a while.

Her kisses are featherlight. And though few and far between, she makes them count.

Sanemi

"...what're you on about--?"

Oh. Oh shit.

When the kiss ends, the air immediately becomes tense. Heat rises in his face and ears almost instantly, as he takes you by your wrist. If you're not already in a private place, he takes you to one and nearly slams you against a wall.

"...what're you trying to play at here?" Similar to Inosuke and Rengoku, you'd have to explain yourself. While his body language is guarded and on the offensive, the blush betrays him. He's smitten. He's ALWAYS been smitten. But hearing your words and the way you say them really nails in the fact that you aren't joking, and that you're not trying to get him embarrassed or anything. You GENUINELY like him.

Similar to Giyuu, his kisses are dangerous. Which is why they're usually received or given in private. He HAS held you up before because his kisses can get pretty steamy. But he's also given you kisses so sincere and sweet that it makes you relax enough to fall asleep with your head on his shoulder.

He's a man of many words and actions: most of which are aggressive or crass. But he saves the nicest things for you when you're alone.

But be wary: if it's been a while since your last kiss, especially due to missions: just know it's coming. And when it does, it'll be REALLY hard to stop.

---

End of Part 1

[meaningofaeons]

Ehhh hi! I love your work so i wanted to ask for hcs with star rail men and kafka (choose whoever you want) with gn!reader or s/o who has a lot of childhood trauma. I mean brutal emotional and physical abuse from a really young age, a lot of scars, blood, sa, ect. How would (star rail character) react to s/o telling them about their past/ seeing s/o's scars? Pls angst🙏. If you dont like the request, just ignore this. Have a nice day/night! -anon

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ old scars die hard

⊹ character(s) - sampo koski, kafka, jing yuan ⊹ word count - 1.3k ⊹ notes - gn!reader, TW!! themes of abuse both emotional and physical, self-harm tendencies (not touched on as much but possibly implied?), etc. please read with caution and heed the warnings!!!

hi anon omg I hope you're okay (ﾐዎ ﻌ ዎﾐ)��� I don't know whether this is personal to you and your experiences or not but regardless!! this req touched me I know it's been sitting in my ask box for a while but I wanted to do it proper justice. I love you anon and I hope you are doing well <3!!! thanks for the req!

⊹ Sampo Koski

He's not super concerned at first when he sees the first signs of scars

I mean, he's had his fair share of run-ins with disgruntled "customers". His scars are more numerous than yours, he'd assume.

That is, until he remembers you're not really in the same line of fire that he can typically find himself in

That's what gets him wondering.

Sampo's not really one to get into emotional vulnerability, and I don't think he'd ask you first

Unless of course, you started to gain new ones under his watch

If he's known you for a while, I feel like he'd have questioned it often until you told him to stop, and then he'd be kind of reluctant to bring it up again.

However, if you two are fairly new friends/partners, he'd dance around the issue but try to confront it regardless.

Especially if the abuse is current from people currently in your life or something you recently inflicted on yourself, he'd try to mention/address it in a roundabout way.

"That doesn't look so hot, Y/N! Might wanna see Miss Nat for it. What, you getting into the business of scam—aheh, I mean, customer service—too?"

Sampo tries to keep it light, but when he notices the way you tremble at the acknowledgement he makes of your wounds, his face crumples.

He's instantly apologizing, instantly doing anything to make you feel even a little better.

Offering to take you out to lunch, buy you something nice, or just get some takeout food and watch a show together.

I feel like Sampo, being relatively unequipped to seriously handle stuff like this (considering he's very much a humor-cope kind of person) would be especially frantic in trying to assuage your troubles

Whatever you want! Seriously, he'll bend over backwards for you, especially when you're vulnerable.

Sampo Koski may not be the most sensitive or empathetic, but he knows when to hold the quips and jokes.

He's a very good listener, though. It's honestly pretty shocking.

Now, Sampo's not much of a violent criminal.

Yes, he's a conman, but usually his plans involve escape over actual fighting back.

Still, when he hears about those who have made you suffer, he's not going to stand by.

In the cover of night, after tending to your wounds (both physical and emotional), he'd be off.

He won't kill them. But Sampo sure as hell will make sure they wouldn't even think of coming within five miles of you ever again.

And you'll never find out about it, either.

All that will happen is your life improving because your abuser will be out of it, and Sampo is perfectly content melding back into his usual joking self, bringing as much normalcy to your more peaceful life as he can.

⊹ Kafka

At first, I think Kafka sees your scars/wounds and is kind of... uninterested? Or perhaps less uninterested and more just unconcerned.

Sure, there's questions and thoughts to be had, but everyone has their pasts—especially those among the Stellaron Hunters.

However, over time and with careful, calm observation, Kafka notices more about you.

She takes a special interest in you that she doesn't quite hold with her other fellow Stellaron Hunters.

How you apologize endlessly over small mistakes...

Or even how you flinched back when Silver Wolf of all people got angry and shouted at one of her video games.

I mean, Silver Wolf! The smallest of the Stellaron Hunters—outside of her abilities in manipulating the data of reality and hacking, she physically couldn't hurt a fly.

So, Kafka takes matters into her own hands.

She's pretty upfront, seeing no reason in beating around the bush.

She was content before in letting it slide as "everyone has their secrets", but she eventually develops something akin to concern for your situation.

"Darling, I just had a few small questions for you... Don't feel pressured to answer if you're not inclined."

The second half of her sentence shocked her a bit.

She has abilities relating to hypnotic suggestion—if there's something she wanted to hear or know, there's no reason she couldn't acquire it. And if there's something she wanted someone to listen to and obey, she could do it with no questions from the other party.

So really, it was awe-inspiring that she afforded you the luxury of choice here.

After hearing what happened to you, Kafka is not the type to go on a vengeance-path.

She knows the past is the past, and that you're with the Stellaron Hunters now, so your abuser is long gone from reach.

I think Kafka mostly focuses on comforting you in the moment.

Especially if you're partners, she'd be very inclined to give you a shoulder to lean on, a person to cry to.

Kafka may seem flippant, but she holds a deep-seated affection for you and she treats your trauma with the utmost respect and seriousness it deserves.

She'd definitely get more protective of you after hearing your past.

As long as it's not against Elio's script, she's accompanying you on any mission you need to attend to.

And, well, if someone happens to trigger any unpleasant memories, be it a stranger or otherwise...

They're taken care of. Quietly.

⊹ Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan, teddy bear of a man he is, is likely the most forthcoming of the three about any scars he sees on you.

He's the General and goes into battle so that you don't have to get scars like his, and yet, what are these past wounds he sees on you?

The man isn't an idiot, though. He knows the circumstances behind them are likely far from pleasant.

He also knows how to treat a matter with the delicateness it requires.

"My dear... May I ask about that wound on your arm?"

So, so gentle.

He's already got you in his arms before you can say a word, cradling you gently and soothing you before you can get the story out.

Listens to every single word you have to say, only breaking your continuous sentences to hush you now and then and calm you down

Doesn't matter how much work he has to do, Jing Yuan would stay with you for hours or days on end to make sure you were okay

He, like Kafka, is not the type to be overly vengeful or seeking of retribution against those who hurt you.

Rather, he's more of the mindset that the best revenge is a life well-lived, and that's exactly how he intends to get back at your abusers—by making your life as wonderful as he can.

That's not to say he won't do anything, though.

If your abusers were still alive or around, he'd definitely pull some strings.

Nothing violent, of course, but the abuser(s) lives aboard the Xianzhou Luofu would never be peaceful again if he knew who they were.

Jing Yuan is more focused on you and your recovery.

If you ever feel like hurting yourself, or the past comes back to haunt you, he's dropping everything for your sake.

He doesn't just treat you like glass or tiptoe around you, though.

He knows how strong you are to have made it through such experiences and still be alive—to a long-lived species, it's especially admirable that one could sustain themselves through such things

As such, Jing Yuan respects you greatly. And he demands the same from others.

Not that he didn't already, being that you're his partner or closest friend (however you'd like to interpret, but he is most certainly in love with you!)

He's just more conscious of his own actions henceforth.

Jing Yuan wasn't the type to raise his voice or get visibly upset with you even in moments of disagreement or conflict, but he's especially more gentle after hearing your past.

The man is literally a walking green flag, I don't know what else to tell you!

[crystalflygeo]

Smut Alphabet ft Baizhu + fem!reader

cw/tags: mentions of various sexual acts, oral sex, praise kink, pet names, sensation play?? marking/biting, TEASING, itty bitty possessive/jealous behavior, I gave Baizhu a bunch of snake traits I'm sorry it's the monsterfucker in me //sighs.

notes: SOMETHING NON-ZHONGLI??? WOWOWOW Yes I simp Baizhu sue me, more will come hopefully. Lord this has been on the works since the other one it took SO LONG I just didn't know what to write vbhsdbjk. Again feel like I'm repeating myself 20 times hhhhhh also this man is v vanilla or at least it started like that but then it got progressively hornier and.... yeaaaahhhhh. Partially dedicated to @floraldresvi bc even tho she doesn't share some of these ideas she gave me quite a few and she is the cutest Baizhu simp so <3 ehe

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Baizhu is quite clingy and loving in the aftermath, sometimes rubbing and massaging special scented oils along your skin while peppering kisses, to relax the muscles and prevent cramps.

Sometimes though, your activities also take quite the toll on him... in such occasions he’s left exhausted, he'll simply pull you into an embrace and stay curled up and close to you as you both come down from the high and relax together.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His hands. How could he practice medicine without them after all? The fact that he can pull such wonderful sounds and reactions out of you with them is just sublime. Even if they're a little bony with slender fingers, there is so much he can do with them.

As for his favorite part of your body: all your soft curves. Thighs, tummy, breasts, hips. Who cares if you got some scars, stretch marks or some "rolls"? it's only natural, you're healthy and your body is beautiful no matter what. He loves running his hands along your hips, rubbing a thumb at your thigh when sitting together, or resting his head in your lap/tummy as you play with his hair.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s very careful and considerate to always use protection, after all it is not only safer but more convenient at that. Either that or just release on his own stomach, then quickly get rid of it. He’s actually not that into it, the whole marking and dripping his seed on you. In fact, he feels it’s kind of degrading or disrespectful to you, convinced you’re too good to be dirtied like that. If you're giving him head and he does come on your face, expect a flurry of embarrassed apologies as he scrambles to clean you off.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes seeing you wear his clothes, seeing you doze off at his bed or just hang round his place. There’s a little feeling of belonging there, a little possessiveness. That you’re really his just as he is yours, that you two are together. It’s rather domestic but it warms his heart. When you rub your eyes first thing in the morning, still naked and sporting yesterday’s marks on your skin, when you step in the kitchen for some morning tea wearing only one of his larger robes… it makes him want to pull you close and never let you go.

He also quite likes to… bite…

But you’ll never hear that from him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Truth be told... Baizhu has no real experience with this. He's tended to himself and had the occasional wet dreams and fantasies sure, but hands-on action... ehhh. If you're experienced, he'd love to let you take the reins for sure, and if you're both on the same boat, well... he'll gladly walk that path along with you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Baizhu likes propping you over any slightly elevated surface: countertop, desk, table... you name it. That way neither of you exerts themselves or is weighting on the other, and he quite enjoys having you on eye level like this, your silky legs surrounding him, your thighs at just the right height for him to rest his palms on them as you take off his glasses and he leans in for a kiss...

But oh, sometimes he also quite likes having you on top, seated on his lap rocking slowly with his hands on your hips, you own supported around his neck bringing you two impossibly closer, hot breaths and sweet moans mixing together.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s a tease, and often likes to poke fun or fluster you, but it’s all in good faith, last thing he’d want is to actually make you uncomfortable. He’s quite lighthearted, little smiles and breathless chuckles weaved in together with other sounds of pleasure. He means for you both to relax and enjoy the moment.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc.)

If his gorgeous long hair or immaculate looks aren’t a clue already, yes, Baizhu takes very good care of his appearance. More often than not he wants to give off a sense of professionalism and good health, after all, as a doctor he’s got to set the example. His hands are rather soft and skin clean and shaven. Likewise, he simply keeps himself well trimmed down there. And yes, the drapes do match the curtains… (why would anyone ask or doubt that?)

I= Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Are they romantic?)

For him, this step of the relationship is certainly not to be taken lightly. When both of you finally decide to be intimate, he’ll make sure to treat you with the utmost care and love, focus on your movements, your voice, your reactions, kissing you tenderly. He is a passionate man, but that passion comes in slow waves, molten gazes, careful simmering touches. After all there’s no need to rush…

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

Baizhu doesn’t usually… indulge in things like this, already too worried with his mind thinking a million different things, body exhausted, always working, Changsheng always draped over him. The need to get off doesn’t linger and fester in him for too long. It’ll come, he’ll get slightly uncomfortable, then it'll leave. But in the lone relaxing moments he has, soaking in the bathtub, lying awake late at night in bed he can finally relieve some tension, thinking on your warm skin and wet kisses, letting out frail husky gasps and moans. And why should he be embarrassed? After all, it is a normal, natural and healthy thing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It’s hard to get him to admit it really, but he undoubtedly has a marking/biting kink. You see, the thing is, not only does he possess viperine eyes but also other certain traits as well: fangs, a forked tongue, an acute sense of smell, poor eyesight, bad regulation of body temperature, you name it! And if there’s something he likes it’s to sink those fangs on your skin like a mating mark. Don’t worry, he won’t actually hurt you of course, it’s just that marking you and leaving his claim feels immensely satisfying. He loves to admire them for days to come.

L= Location (Favorite places to do the do?)

Anywhere you two have a private quiet moment to yourselves, though nothing beats the intimacy of the bedroom. Particularly enjoys taking you apart at the pharmacy’s backroom, and if the situation arises when Changsheng and Qiqi are both busy he’ll pull you into his embrace for quite the ride. Slowly unraveling you on the bed by the candlelight, bending you over or perching you at the table, and even once he simply pressed and caged you against the wall and the rest was history…

M = Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them going?)

Your cute noises and reactions. To have you shivering under his touch, flushed red and whimpering, sporting his marks, telling him how good he’s making you feel, how much you love him. Please be vocal and praise him a little! There’s nothing he won’t do with a little begging from you. And he WILL make you beg, kissing your little clit ever so softly causing your hips to twitch, running his hands lightly over your breasts seeing the goosebumps rise and nipples pebble.

N = No (Anything they wouldn’t do?)

Baizhu doesn’t do well with degradation or harsh treatment, sure a quick desperate fuck here and there is doable, some spanking, but nothing really rough. Hard limits on anything inherently dangerous like knife play or choking, he simply wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt. He’s also really mindful and strict on things like proper preparation, hygiene, protection and aftercare. For as much as he likes to test limits and boundaries, he has the utmost respect and love for your body.

O= Oral (Do they like to give or receive? Are they skilled?)

Baizhu is all about the giving. He enjoys seeing you come apart on his skilled fingers and tongue, the sounds you make, the feeling of your soft thighs clamping on his hold. He takes his time, listening to the softest keens and moans that slip from your lips, taking in the pace of your heartbeat on his tongue to know exactly when to plunge the serpentine appendage inside you like he’s starved.

On the other hand, slick with precum before you even put your mouth to him, he is really sensitive and his pretty flushed cock will twitch wildly in your hand as you stroke him, tracing that small vein, lapping at the engorged head. As much as his head is spinning and low groans fall from his mouth, he’ll try very hard to maintain eye contact and keep track of your ministrations, the way your soft hands move and your lips stretch to accommodate him down to the hilt, cupping your cheek lovingly to wipe away a couple of tears, your eyelashes fluttering to meet his golden eyes.

P= Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Definitely a slow and sensual lover, Baizhu prefers taking you apart bit by bit with loving and deliberate strokes. His life is already quite restless and chaotic, so he wants to make this as sweet and delicate as he can. He takes his time with his hands tracing every mark on your skin, pinching a little at your tummy and thighs, and rubbing gentle circles on your hips.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies? How often?)

A rare occurrence to say the least, but with his hectic schedule it’s bound to happen once in a while. They’re nice enough, every moment spent with you in his arms is precious, it’s just that he doesn’t like how short they are. A quick fuck in the backroom of the pharmacy between breaks not only has its risks but he actually often ends up feeling more riled up. Returning to his work slightly more distracted and aroused much to Changsheng’s frustration. He’d rather have long drawn-out sessions with you, slowly building up the heat.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

For all his vanilla sweet love, if there’s anything he likes in life is trying new things, and that philosophy extends to the bedroom. Without a doubt he would agree to indulge in things that interest either of you, anything to bring you more pleasure after all. Communication is key and who knows, you might discover some new fun ways to enjoy time together. That said there's not much of a risk factor with him, Baizhu always plays pretty safe even when you're doing things in a bit of an impromptu manner.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

His constitution is frail, that is no secret. Now, he’s genuinely a little self-conscious about it, afraid he’s not properly satisfying you or even upset and insulted if you coddle and fuss over him too much. Sometimes he’s tired, it’s late at night after a long day of seeing patients, he gives you lazy thrusts and quiet touches showing it’ll be a simple night, a settle down for the day. Usually, his body gives out after he comes once or twice, though if you still have one more round in you, well, he’ll gladly give you the reins for the rest of the night.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He definitely enjoys playing with your senses. A blindfold, a bit of bondage, the touch of a feather dragging along your skin, even some ice or hot wax from a scented candle, don’t worry, he’ll be very careful. It’s not so much that he’s kinky per se, he just loves to see you react. Arch your back and cry out. And there are definitely interesting concoctions out there, electro slime can be used to increase sensitivity, and a combination of flaming flower stamen extract with some oil can... well... he’ll let you discover that by yourself.

U= Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

He is a tease through and through, both inside and outside of the bedroom. A silver-tongued devil he knows very well what words to use and when to obtain the reactions and effects he wants. Fond of inside jokes, bringing up things that will make you squeak while other are none the wiser. Whenever he gets a little jealous, you’ll notice he also gets touchier, placing a hand at your shoulder or hip or straight up giving you a peck or blurting some pet name.

You’ve lost count of how many times a night you’ll tell him to stop teasing. He just chuckles and apologizes but after a few minutes he’s back on the game.

V= Volume (Are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk?)

He will praise you and tease you non-stop, spouting compliments and whispering promises into your skin as he worships your body. If you manage to catch him off guard and turn the tables on him, he actually lets out the most wonderful noises. So endearing in their restraint with quiet hisses and whimpers, and so surprising in their rawness with deep groans and occasional growl.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Although he can identify some scents and physiological reactions better than most, Changsheng is the real menace. A few flicks of her tongue and she’ll know for sure if either of you are… ehem… wanting. She’ll tease, she may even be a little passive aggressive but she’s respectful and considerate enough to slither off somewhere and give you both (or just him) some “alone time”. She might not always keep her mouth shut to Gui however.

X= X-ray (What’s going on down there?)

Baizhu’s size is nothing to sneeze at no matter how much he scoffs (blushing a little) and calmly mentions he’s statistically rather average. The thing is this man is a grower. Once hard his cock is rather long but not all slender, with a curve upwards and a few visible veins that are even more sensitive than he already is. You love to see him twitch after every kitten lick, rub or puff of hot air, and the tip takes on that pretty, purplish hue when he's really really needy. Although he makes it out to be not a big deal, he can't help the smugness that fills his head when he lowers you down on him that first time and sees the way you gasp and flinch as you try to adjust.

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Average, if a little low technically? It’s not so much he craves the sex in itself but rather that intimacy, that connection. For him making love is just as much about the… well, love. He doesn’t just chase pleasure but he loves to see you come apart and have you drag him along. Never once has he thought he'd have such deep, pure love as the kind he has with you, so having you by his side, in his arms, under him, or sleeping peacefully curled up to his chest, completely at ease and comfortable in his presence, is a gift that he never takes for granted.

Z= Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep?)

He’s a little insomniac, pulling few frequent all-nighters to work or rolling over restlessly under the sheets. Sex, however, is one of the few things able to wear him out well enough to fall asleep easily, especially if you’ve gone for a few rounds. Occasionally, he still won’t be able to fall asleep afterwards, but in most cases the warmth of your body will be enough to lull him into an at least somewhat restful state for a few hours.

[euphor1a]

Bewitched (iii)

↬ pairing: bad boy!yeonjun x good girl!oc

↬ characters: loner bad boy!yeonjun, heartthrob!soobin, best friend!beomgyu, female oc (can be read as f!reader too) + a few supporting characters.

↬ genre: college!au, bad boy!au, slow burn, drama, strangers to lovers, smut, a bit of unrequited love.

↬ summary: After starting college, you never really imagined that you’ll cross paths with Choi Yeonjun — the loner bad boy with influences. But life is full of surprises, ain’t it?

↬ rating & word count: 18+ ; ~3.1K

↬ warnings: profanity, mentions of anxiety, bullying, explicit sexual content; manhandling, dirty talk, fingering, orgasm denial.

↬ disclaimer: this is fictional and doesn’t reflect any of their actions or personality!

↬ previous 𓍯 series masterlist

↬ a/n: thank you to anyone who’s still interested in this baby of mine, i appreciate you a ton <3

You’re supposed to vacuum the apartment today, but you can’t seem to focus, at all. And honestly? It sucks. The more you’ve been trying to move on and be grateful to have dodged a bullet like him, the harder you’ve been thinking about the culprit nonstop.

Three days have passed since you found out a very shocking fact that has left your poor heart in a whirlwind. But you don’t know which is more terrifying — the fact that Daniel is Yeonjun and he lied about his identity, or the cold, harsh truth that you’re still insanely attracted to him. 

A dreary sigh escapes you. Life is not favoring you at all. It’s become such a pain in the ass at this point. Why did you have to fall for someone like him? It would’ve been so much easier if you had feelings for someone whom you know and trust, someone sweet and caring, like Soobin, or even Beomgyu.

Plopping down on your couch, you close your eyes. Things are looking very complicated right now. Not only the thought of that lying bastard has plagued your mind, but also, it’s hindering your daily life. You’ve been extremely unmotivated and anxious ever since the truth unfolded. You wish you had the power to fix everything, but alas, you don’t. 

You remember how Yeonjun looked at you under the moonlight, the way his soft lips devoured your mouth. Are bad boys really capable of such gentleness? You don’t know… from the start, you’ve stayed away from the problematic people, like “bad boys”, just as your parents instructed. And guys like Yeonjun, if you’re being honest — you still prefer to steer clear out of their way. Not the devil himself, though. He got you addicted so fast and so hard that it’s difficult to back out now.

As if to distract you from his thoughts, your phone rings loudly. You squint your eyes, letting the sound bring you back to reality. Soon after, you inhale sharply and reach for the device, your heartbeat picking up with stupid hope.

Turns out it’s Soobin. With a gentle smile on your face, you answer the call, his soft voice cooing in your ear.

“___, just wanted to check in! How are you holding up?” You calm down almost instantly, grateful to have someone like him in your life.

“I’m… alright, I guess. How about you, Soobs? Anything interesting going on?” You speak softly, not keen on making this gentle giant worried in any way.

“Ehhh, what a lame way of trying to change the subject. It didn’t work. You better be taking care of yourself, miss lady, or I’ll–” 

You cut him off midway, reassuring him. “Oh god, of course I am taking care of myself! Don’t worry!” 

“Hmph.” Soobin grumps on the other side. Even if he tries to come off as threatening, he really just ends up sounding adorable.

“Oh, come on now, don’t be mad at me…” your voice is adorably childish in the end, making him sigh. Why do you do this to him? 

“I’m not mad at you. But you do need to take care of yourself.”

“Did you really call me to lecture me about self-care?”

He groans at that. “So, what if I did?” 

You pout, trying to change the subject. “Soob, can I ask you for something?” 

“What is it?”

“Where did you meet Yeonjun that day? Just curious.” 

There’s no answer.

“Soobin?” 

He clicks his tongue. “At our college.” 

“I know that! I mean where at the college?!” you whine, clearly displeased.

“I can’t tell you.” 

“Why?” 

“Trust me, I’m doing you a favor.” 

“I didn’t ask for your favor, did I?” 

He ends the call, leaving you frustrated. Before you can call him back, you see a message pop up in your notifications.

Soobin: i think ___ is genuinely going crazy

Soobin: beomgyu, we gotta do something

___: Soobin… 

Soobin: gyu? this is urgent! 

Gyu: uhhh what now..? 😭

Soobin: she wants to know where i met yeonjun.

___: 😶

Gyu: girl why are you asking for trouble 

Gyu: if it’s something important we can talk to him about it 

___: Do I look like a five year old to you?

___: Why would you talk to him instead of me?

Soobin: you don’t understand, do you?

___: Understand what? This bs?!

Gyu: ___… 

Soobin: see, this is why it’s so hard to communicate with you 😔

Gyu: soobin! don’t! 

___: Wow, okay. I’ll leave you guys be.

Gyu: nono princess 🥺 don’t listen to him!! soobin is out of his mind!! 

Gyu: you can’t just leave us :( 

___: Damn right I can 🥰

Soobin: NO ONF IM SO SORRY 😭😭

Soobin: *omg i was just emotional and said whatever came in my mind i’m sorry

Gyu: this is such a mess 🥲

Soobin: don’t leave us 🥺🥺🥺🥺😔😔☹️☹️😢😢💔💔

___: Yeah whatever

Gyu: why do you want to meet yeonjun, anyway? 

___: *sigh*

___: It’s personal.

Soobin: uhm that’s suspicious 🙂

___: And you asking the very same Yeonjun for “help” isn’t? 

Soobin: ouch 🤕

Gyu: this guy… how many times do i have to tell you to watch your damn mouth 😒

Gyu: ___, i understand that it’s personal. but, as everyone says, it’s better to stay away from him.

___: You two don’t understand 😞

Soobin: i give up 

Gyu: soobin 😬

Soobin: i’ll text you the wing, floor and room no. 

___: Thank you, I guess

Soobin: you’re welcome bb 🥺

Gyu: soobin, you’re a whole goose 🙄

___: Huh? 

Soobin: GYU 🔪🔪🔪

Gyu: nothing lol

___: Okay 

Soobin: 🥺🥺

Gyu: 😧

___: ??? Bye

Gyu: just promise that you’ll be careful! 

___: Promise 🥰

Gyu: 😘

You smile as you notice Soobin’s direct message shortly after. Instantly giddy, you sent him a bunch of heart emojis.

It’s official. You’re gonna confront Choi Yeonjun. Face to face.

Next monday,

So, today’s the day. You’ve thought it through several times and took your time. Beomgyu did try his best to scare you off, but you’re not afraid of Yeonjun. Not at all.

Maybe because you know that he has a weakness for you. Or probably because the urge to meet him is too much and it’s numbing any other senses. Either way, here you are, walking through the hallway that leads to where he usually hangs around.

Tall, scary looking fellas stare you up and down, whispering to themselves as you walk up to the empty classroom, also known as his den. 

“Hey kitty, where are you going?” An edgy looking girl stops you, regarding you curiously. The unsolicited nickname throws you off, but you refuse to let that be visible. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” you shrug, hoping to appear nonchalant. They are kinda scary… 

Another guy comes up, his voice mocking, “This place isn’t for you, cutie. Go back to your class or something.” A bunch of other guys agree, laughing at you. 

Their ridiculous behavior makes you sigh. This type of people are the last ones you wish to deal with. “And who are you to tell me that, exactly!?” you state firmly, crossing your arms around your chest. 

A bunch of them chuckle, drawing more attention. “Aww look, she’s trying to bite back. How adorable.” 

“Really? Is that a way to treat someone?! If I’m here, that surely means that I have business with him, don’t you think?” you hiss in anger, glaring at everyone who gathers around to see the show.

Your words and attitude only fuel their laugh. A person from the crowd remarks, “Look, this little nobody thinks she has business with ‘him’, apparently.” 

More people join in to laugh at you, various remarks being thrown around carelessly. You start to feel cornered and humiliated, your hands turning into fists from frustration. 

“Why the hell is there so much noise? Do y’all want to be sent back or what?” A deep, commanding voice shuts everyone up. You turn around with bated breath, your body freezing immediately as your eyes register the familiar face. 

It’s him. The demon that’s been haunting you for weeks now.

Yeonjun seems pleasantly surprised when he sees you, but he quickly replaces it with his cold demeanor. “What was happening here?” 

The girl who approached you comes forward. “This… this kitty was trying to get into your office. So, I stopped her and asked what she was here for. Guess what? She was trying to be all sassy as if she’s the one in charge. Obviously, she got destroyed… hence all the noise.” 

His expression is unreadable for a second, and you wonder if you’re gonna be sent back empty handed. But then, Yeonjun glares at the gathered crowd menacingly, a hushed silence falling across the hallway. The ones at the front immediately lower their heads. “Judging a book by their cover now, are we? I don’t keep you guys around to assume if a kitty has business with me or not. And, last time I checked, stopping someone doesn’t include ridiculing them in front of everyone just to feed your petty little egos.”

“Jun, but–” one of the guys start, taking a step forward. 

“I don’t have time for your hollow excuses, get out of here immediately, all of you.”

“We’re sorry!” Several of them chime in, dispersing without looking back. But some throw you suspicious looks, earning another glare from Yeonjun. 

“My, my. Rebelling much? If you have a problem, then come over here and talk to me.” His raised voice booms through the space, making everyone leave with mumbled apologies. Once everyone is out of sight, he turns towards you, his eyes earnest. “I’m sorry for how they acted. They’re not used to seeing pretty, little, goody two shoes like you around here. But still, they were rude, and I apologize.”

You nod in acknowledgment, rolling your eyes. For some reason, his words feel insincere. But you have other things to worry about. Like, confronting him for his actions.

Before you can do or think anything further, Yeonjun grabs your wrist, gently pulling you inside the classroom. You gasp when he presses you up against the closed door, his body caging yours, a bit too close for your liking. 

His brown irises study you with curiosity. “Why are you here, ____?” 

You struggle against his grip, trying to move your hands away but failing. “Ugh– let me go!” Being so close to him makes you feel all mushy, and you don’t want to deal with that now.

Thankfully, he untangles one of his hands from yours, raising an eyebrow. “You didn’t answer my question.” 

“Pfft— Shouldn’t I be the one demanding for answers, Daniel?” 

Like the maniac he is, Yeonjun chuckles at that, shaking his head. “I see. What answers, if I may?” 

Is he kidding with you right now? What the hell is this attitude? “Why did you lie?” 

He stops at that, regarding you thoughtfully. “I had my reasons.” 

His monotonous reply pushes you off to the edge. Failing to hide your anger, you jab a finger on his chest, demanding clarity. “What reasons, Yeonjun? That you had to lie and play with my feelings for a day?”

Yeonjun grits his teeth, his grip tightening significantly on your wrist. “I did not play with your feelings, ___.” 

“Liar.” punching him on the chest, you try to take your hand away, but it backfires. He traps you inside his strong embrace, his hot breath fanning over your head. 

“What are you doing–”

He tips your chin upwards, his pupils dilated as he looks at you with a burning hunger. “You enjoy testing my patience, don’t you?” 

Your body shivers involuntarily, your lips just inches away from his. Swallowing nervously, you look away. But he grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him.

Yeonjun leans in, dangerously close to you. “I’m warning you, don’t play with fire. You’ll be suffering and I hate to admit it, but I’d be damned if that happens.” His whisper is hot against your lips, a weird feeling coiling in your stomach.

What the hell is he talking about? Why does he sound like he’s from a cliché forbidden romance fanfiction? 

“Well, what if I want to play with fire?” You suppress your wish to cringe, eyes challenging him to reply. A strange wave of emotions displays in his brown irises, his free hand forming into a tight fist. 

“Don’t blame me when you get burnt.” His lips crashes against yours swiftly. Yeonjun lets go of your arm, and you curl them around his neck, instinctively pulling him closer. He smiles in the kiss, as if victorious, his hand grabbing your ass and squeezing the flesh briefly. The stinging sensation makes you moan. 

Yeonjun grazes your lower lip with his teeth, asking for permission to ravish your mouth — which you gladly provide. His prying tongue slides past your lips, meeting with your tongue in a passionate kiss. You gasp in pleasure, pulling onto his hair when he starts trailing kisses down your jaw. Yeonjun backs you up against the only table in the room, his voice a growl. “Why do you do this to me? Fuck!” 

You look at him, your chest heaving as you try to process the mind-blowing kiss. But alas, he’s not done yet. 

“Are you here for this, huh?” He reaches to drag his thumb over your chin, forcing your gaze up to him. “Wanted my touch that bad? ___?” 

Liquid heat rushes through your veins when he moves his hands all over your body, brushing against your sensitive spots. He squeezes your breasts, enjoying the perky nipples that he feels through your clothes. “Tell me.”

“No!” You choke out, “I came here to ask you why you lied about your iden– ahh, god!” 

Yeonjun lowers his head to your neck, dipping his tongue to lick the sweet spot. You melt under his touch, both pleased and bewildered by the fact that he obviously hasn’t forgotten your most sensitive spots. His eyes are fixed on you as he brushes both his hands beneath your skirt, tracing them up to the edge of your panties. 

You throw your head back in pleasure, your knuckles turning pale as you grip on the edge of the table. “Please… ” you mewl, looking at him desperately. 

Yeonjun smirks, brushing your inner thighs. “Please what?” 

“I need you to touch me.” You sigh shakily, your eyes pleading with him. Apparently, he’s beyond teasing, because as soon as he reaches your soaked pussy, he pulls the piece of clothing to the side and pushes two of fingers into you.

“Yeonjun…” your head falls on to his shoulder while he pumps you gently, a groan escaping him. 

“Fuck, you’re drenched.”

He picks up pace, not giving you a moment to breathe. You cry out when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting your g-spot. His pace gets rougher, clearly fueled by your moans. 

When his thumb finds your clit, you clench around him, your breath coming in short gasps.

Yeonjun smiles complacently. “You love this, don’t you?” The pressure on your clit increases slightly. “You love that I’m the one doing this to you.”

Without waiting for an answer, he draws his now slick digits away and puts them in his mouth, depriving you of an orgasm. 

You whine, biting his neck from the frustration. Yeonjun makes you look at him, his voice dropping by an octave, “Bad girls don’t get to come.” 

You try to rock your hips, craving any type of friction that can satisfy you. But he stops you, growling in your ear, “It’s time to go back, sweetheart. I have work to do. As much as I’d love to do you instead… I can’t. Not now.” 

You look at him with dazed eyes, your voice a whimper, “You always leave me high and dry like this. I came here to confront, but you–” 

“Shh. I told you; I had my reasons. I was simply trying to protect you.” 

“Protect me from what exactly?” 

Dropping a kiss on your forehead, he retracts. “I’ll tell you the next time we meet, ___. If I find it feasible, of course. You should probably fix your clothes though…” 

You look at your disheveled state, sighing. “You’re not trying to get rid of me, are you?” 

Yeonjun looks offended. “You clearly don’t know me yet.” 

“But–”

“No buts. Don’t you have classes or some shit?” 

You yelp at that, suddenly remembering where you exactly are. Quickly climbing down from the desk and fixing your clothes. While you finger brush your stray waves, he regards you intently. 

“Like what you see?” 

Yeonjun chuckles, nodding. You walk up to the nearby window to see your state, the dusty glass surprisingly reflecting quite well. “Tsk, thank god I wear a transfer-proof lip tint. All of my lip-gloss is gone however, and it looks weird.” 

“You don’t have a bag with you, though. How are you gonna reapply?” 

You sigh. “I left my bag with Soobin. I’ll just reapply later.” 

“Wait.” Yeonjun walks up to you slowly. “Won’t it look suspicious, though? I have a lip balm, does that work?” He offers you a small tube of strawberry scented lip balm. 

“Well, it won’t look the same but obviously it’ll be somewhat glossy.” 

“Then take it.” 

You quirk an eyebrow at him, gingerly taking the tube from his hand. His eyes follow each of your little movements as you part your lips a bit and apply the lip balm, pouting at the end which makes him chuckle. 

“Thanks, here you go.” You proceed to give it back, but Yeonjun shakes his head, throwing his hands up. 

“You can keep it for yourself. It suits you so well.” 

“Oh?” A bit surprised, you look at the cutesy tube of lip balm in your hands. “Thank you…? Won’t you need it though? Your lips look a bit dry, even now.” 

“Are my lips dry? Hold on.” Yeonjun leans in for a peck, his lips firmly landing on yours. Your heart skips a beat from his sudden action, butterflies in your stomach. Why’s he so??? 

He pulls back soon enough, rubbing his lips together. “Thanks, baby.” The glint in his eyes indicate that he’s enjoying this exchange very much, only causing your heart to go mayhem.

Nodding, you start to walk away nervously. You cross the room quicker than expected, hand resting on the lock of the door.  “We are not done yet, Choi Yeonjun.” As you look back one last time, you feel a strange sting in your chest. 

Yeonjun tilts his head, smiling, “Oh, trust me, this is just the start.”

end of part iii ↺ next

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 end notes ꒱

thank you so much for reading!! it’s been a while but i hope this was a fun read! 🩷 sorry for any mistakes left in there!

as always, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! your support keeps me motivated 🌺🌟 you can also send feedback through asks <33

[kerubimcrepin]

Crepinlore and the 30-50 random games 90% of fandom has never heard about

This post, like everything else about this blog, is very self-indulgent. I discovered many things during its making, and I simply can't not share. So, let's begin with something you likely have literally never heard about, and go to more popular things from there:

KROSMASTER ARENA 3D

Krosmaster arena online was a video game it seems nobody played, and honestly, I am mentioning it here because I fear that if I don't document it, it will disappear, and it will turn out that it was simply a vision I had, as if in a David Lynch movie. Evaporating, like tears in rain.

I don't think anyone ripped/tried to rip/found a way to rip the models from it — and considering the fact they're pretty... mobile ad-core, not much may have been lost.

Anyway, here's Keke beating the shit out of some guy.

Wakfu Les Gardiens

Joris appears in the quest "The Tree of Life" of this game, which, as far as I'm aware, was updated in time with Wakfu episodes.

Even back then, Ankama knew that 1. Joris is very sus and 2. you cannot let him get close to you during a battle, or it's OVER.

It's all very cute.

There is something interesting I wanna say about this sprite, actually:

An alternate version of it exists, made as a concept for the Dofus MMO. I am assuming it was Juien Druant elaborating on the ways Joris might look in the game. The first two designs are: baby Joris (probably not used because he looks too young to be a 200 year old man...) and Welsh & Shedar 60yo Joris. They were combined to make the iconic Dofus MMO-era 200yo Joris design.

I'm quite sure that this sprite references the Les Gardiens one very heavily.

One More Gate: A Wakfu Legend

The first game in this list that actually has implications for real lore, and yet its plot is literally "it was all a dream that Oropo was having while inside the Eliacube"

For this reason, the events of this game are not entirely reliable — but are probably based in some way on the memories Oropo has.

The main contribution this game has to Crepinlore is a third Crepin, who might be an ancient ancestor of the brothers, whom Oropo met and remembered, some sort of cousin, or he might be based entirely on fiction, and inspired by Kerubim (though ehhh I severely doubt Oropo would care so much about him that he'd hallucinate a guy like him within Eliacube's fake world).

I really want to headcanon that the events of the game are based on something he really experienced, waaay before forming the brotherhood. But that's just my brain disaeses.

Here we can see the store itself.

Krosmaga

I saved the best for the last — Krosmaga.

A video of the casts of Dofus and Wakfu beating the shit out of each other

There are characters besides Atcham, Joris, and Kerubim in this game — Julith, Jahash, Lou... But I choose to concentrate on my favorite three ones. Or I will die fr.

If this Ecaflip gives the impression of constantly having a bad hair day, it's precisely because he doesn't have any! Brother of Kerubim Crépin, Atcham is fiercely jealous of the man he considers his worst enemy. And how could he not be, when not only does he occupy the prestigious position of Ecaflip's favorite son, but also displays his dense, silky fur without any modesty or sensitivity?

Here are his three forms:

I'm.,. unwell about the white one. I have to draw Atcham in a Bontarian getup one of these days.

They're really giving a fight to this Joris costume recolor from a Christmas event in one of the MMOs... (Now I want to see Kerubim in red too!)

On topic of Joris,

Adopted son of Kerubim Crépin, Joris is a curious and mischievous little boy. His favorite pastime is listening to the childhood adventures of his beloved "Papycha". And when he's too busy serving customers in his antique store, he's off playing with his best friend Lilotte! An avid boufbowl player and fan of Khan Karkass, Joris also hopes to become a star of the horned ball. While his destiny may already be mapped out on the stadium pitch, his origins are much less clear… But the good thing about not knowing where you come from is that you can imagine anything! For the little boy, there's no doubt: his parents were great boufbowl players, and it doesn't matter if it's true or not!

Here are his alternative forms:

I LOVE THE WAY HIS ADULT SELF IS DRAWN IN THIS GAME... I'm insane.

And now, last but not least: Kerubim.

Judging by his adventures, Kerubim seems to have had more than 9 lives! From small-time opera rat, to Bontarian police officer, to lawyer: the least we can say is that during his youth, the man Joris calls his Papycha never stopped working! So much so that today, the owner of the antique store Aux Trésors de Kerubim takes advantage of his free time to purr quietly in his armchair, or to tell his adopted son about his past adventures. Past? Well, not quite! Because when the terrible witch Julith arrives to retrieve Jahash's Ivory Dofus, and seems intent on attacking Joris, the old tomcat doesn't hesitate to get in her way. With Kerubim, there's no age limit to being a hero!

Once again, it is confirmed that the store's name s literally "Aux Trésors de Kerubim". Sorry, I'm insane about the name of the show being the name of the store.

And his alternative forms:

He's beautiful.

[semiweirdshipper]

How I feel when I update each of my stories.

I've always wanted to make a post describing how each one of my stories made me feel when I updated them. I guess I thought maybe it could give you guys some insight to how I really feel. Because, in all honesty, I don't like updating some of my stories. But I still write for them because I know you guys like them. It's not really that big of a deal though. I just made this post for fun.

1.) My Own Exit Gate. Piece of cake. The short chapters help give me a break. There's no major drama on the sides. It's a simple uphill battle. Not a lot of brain power has to go into it. Extremely easy to write. Allows me to relax if I'm ever feeling depressed.

2.) Miracle of The Moonlight. Used to be my favorite but I lost my passion due to lack of confidence. But I still love it! Difficult to write because of all the multiple perspectives. The reader is mentally all over the place which requires a lot of brain power to write. No one really cares for it which used to hurt.

3.) Reverse The Dancing Knights. Officially the most difficult story for me to update. Long chapters. Too much plot. Too much action. It keeps me all over the place. Too many characters and relationships. Will have sex which I suck at writing. Too much backstory. The reader is not going to be that happy which I hate. But the show must go on! I love my killers.

4.) Fate of Broken Roads. My least favorite story. Feels like a chore to update. I always feel pressured. I have to write sex which, once again, I'm not good at. I have no layout for it which means that I wing it with whatever comes to my mind, so the fact that I don't like it makes it difficult to want to think about it. Love Jason though.

5.) Battle of The Imaginary Minds. Ahh, talk about stress relief! Officially my least violent story. Only have to deal with one intimate relationship instead of several. Has my baby Jason in it who I love writing! Lots of cute themes. Real world time so there's more unique plot that I can use. Love the slow build. The followers for that story are adorable and I love them. It's just a fun, feel good story. I also don't get to write Jason enough.

6.) My Saddest Journey. My personal therapeutic story. Write it for myself to help cope with my anxiety and trust issues. Has my favorite comfort trope which is father figures. Feels good to write some times and difficult to write other times depending on the plot. It helps me get emotions out. I enjoy writing it.

One shots that I enjoyed writing the most and wish I could write more for.

1.) My Gelastic Flower. Part of the "MY" Collection, this story hits close with the reader having epilepsy like me. But I also really loved how Frank turned out in the story. It's one of the best portrayals of him I've ever written, and I just wish I could have written more of it.

2.) Embracing The Realm of Control. Ok... This story is just hilarious, come on. Everyone's naked? The reader has a problem with fainting? Oh my gosh, it's just too funny. I wish I could have seen how far I could get with it.

3.) The Underdogs Great Stand. Not only is this story purely about killers who don't get a lot of attention, but it's also the only story I have with a reader who was done wrong by rumors, lies and manipulation. Secretly... I do have a layout created for this, with plot and everything. It was supposed to be my first attempt at getting everyone to love Jeffrey, but I never updated.

4.) Circumhorizons Form With Faith. Ehhh, I'm not gonna delve too deep into this one. But the reason why I love it so much is because of the expansion of characters and the different route I took with the Entity's realm. Different groups of people have to survive the fog monsters? Uhh, awesome! Plus it holds my fondest memory where I made Jeffrey likable for the first time ever.

5.) Now That's a Cut! First thing I have to say is... JEFFREY. Dealing with another reader close to me (asexual), this story is just very personal for me and it deals with one of my favorite characters. I'm so proud of this story because it opened up so many hearts to Jeffrey, and I want to finish the job by finishing the story one day.

6.) 3x Mass Overlap. I love this story because it's written in real time which means more plot. I used Hannibal, Wesker and Herman, all of which have the hots for the reader. It's funny, unique and full of drama. I really, really would like to update it one day. It would also give my head a break from all the angst and let me have fun with some humor.

7.) These Muddy Waters. I enjoyed this story because this is my only reader who allowed anger, hatred and bitterness to take control of them, and now they're just mean to everyone, which is a common response to sadness. The point is to show how far the killers are willing to go to make the reader happy even though the reader is deeply scarred and hateful. Idk. I just thought it was unique.

I just had a thought... Why are my story titles always so dramatic?? Lol.