#Is it obvious that I love Jeffrey

[semiweirdshipper]

How I feel when I update each of my stories.

I've always wanted to make a post describing how each one of my stories made me feel when I updated them. I guess I thought maybe it could give you guys some insight to how I really feel. Because, in all honesty, I don't like updating some of my stories. But I still write for them because I know you guys like them. It's not really that big of a deal though. I just made this post for fun.

1.) My Own Exit Gate. Piece of cake. The short chapters help give me a break. There's no major drama on the sides. It's a simple uphill battle. Not a lot of brain power has to go into it. Extremely easy to write. Allows me to relax if I'm ever feeling depressed.

2.) Miracle of The Moonlight. Used to be my favorite but I lost my passion due to lack of confidence. But I still love it! Difficult to write because of all the multiple perspectives. The reader is mentally all over the place which requires a lot of brain power to write. No one really cares for it which used to hurt.

3.) Reverse The Dancing Knights. Officially the most difficult story for me to update. Long chapters. Too much plot. Too much action. It keeps me all over the place. Too many characters and relationships. Will have sex which I suck at writing. Too much backstory. The reader is not going to be that happy which I hate. But the show must go on! I love my killers.

4.) Fate of Broken Roads. My least favorite story. Feels like a chore to update. I always feel pressured. I have to write sex which, once again, I'm not good at. I have no layout for it which means that I wing it with whatever comes to my mind, so the fact that I don't like it makes it difficult to want to think about it. Love Jason though.

5.) Battle of The Imaginary Minds. Ahh, talk about stress relief! Officially my least violent story. Only have to deal with one intimate relationship instead of several. Has my baby Jason in it who I love writing! Lots of cute themes. Real world time so there's more unique plot that I can use. Love the slow build. The followers for that story are adorable and I love them. It's just a fun, feel good story. I also don't get to write Jason enough.

6.) My Saddest Journey. My personal therapeutic story. Write it for myself to help cope with my anxiety and trust issues. Has my favorite comfort trope which is father figures. Feels good to write some times and difficult to write other times depending on the plot. It helps me get emotions out. I enjoy writing it.

One shots that I enjoyed writing the most and wish I could write more for.

1.) My Gelastic Flower. Part of the "MY" Collection, this story hits close with the reader having epilepsy like me. But I also really loved how Frank turned out in the story. It's one of the best portrayals of him I've ever written, and I just wish I could have written more of it.

2.) Embracing The Realm of Control. Ok... This story is just hilarious, come on. Everyone's naked? The reader has a problem with fainting? Oh my gosh, it's just too funny. I wish I could have seen how far I could get with it.

3.) The Underdogs Great Stand. Not only is this story purely about killers who don't get a lot of attention, but it's also the only story I have with a reader who was done wrong by rumors, lies and manipulation. Secretly... I do have a layout created for this, with plot and everything. It was supposed to be my first attempt at getting everyone to love Jeffrey, but I never updated.

4.) Circumhorizons Form With Faith. Ehhh, I'm not gonna delve too deep into this one. But the reason why I love it so much is because of the expansion of characters and the different route I took with the Entity's realm. Different groups of people have to survive the fog monsters? Uhh, awesome! Plus it holds my fondest memory where I made Jeffrey likable for the first time ever.

5.) Now That's a Cut! First thing I have to say is... JEFFREY. Dealing with another reader close to me (asexual), this story is just very personal for me and it deals with one of my favorite characters. I'm so proud of this story because it opened up so many hearts to Jeffrey, and I want to finish the job by finishing the story one day.

6.) 3x Mass Overlap. I love this story because it's written in real time which means more plot. I used Hannibal, Wesker and Herman, all of which have the hots for the reader. It's funny, unique and full of drama. I really, really would like to update it one day. It would also give my head a break from all the angst and let me have fun with some humor.

7.) These Muddy Waters. I enjoyed this story because this is my only reader who allowed anger, hatred and bitterness to take control of them, and now they're just mean to everyone, which is a common response to sadness. The point is to show how far the killers are willing to go to make the reader happy even though the reader is deeply scarred and hateful. Idk. I just thought it was unique.

I just had a thought... Why are my story titles always so dramatic?? Lol.

[vulnerasti-cor-meum]

some film conclusions from the past year or so

teaching mrs. tingle is rene girard mimetic theory; and an evening with bevery luff linn is merely rossini's opera l'italiana in algeri; and machester-by-the-sea is faulkner's novel as I lay dying; and jeffrey was probably named after christopher smart's eponymous cat for I will consider my cat Jeoffrey; and I don't feel at home in this world anymore and killing of a sacred deer and love! valor! compassion! all have garden of eden scenes that are keys to understanding the whole film

[diabolimeservavit666]

This has Asmodeus written all over it. You can't tell me he didn't love Ketch so much in fact that it made him hate himself.

[hannnsh]

family and cars .. 🚗

wow guys yall probbly cant guess who my fav team is cause yknow im so good at hiding and its not obvious at all amirite hah haha …

this came to me from a dream im not joking, its so stupid 😭 this was supposed to be a doodle but i spent way too long on this 😭😓 also pls dont look at the car i cannot draw vehicles for the life of me 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

i do not have real designs for them yet 😔 but i knowww joel is supposed to be john something toretto or whatnot but i cant help it but make these two being all cottagecore and stuff 😭😭🩷 like CMON theyre so cottagecore their colours with all the greens and browns and orange UGH, also i give them clothes i would actually wear too soooo yea heheeee

also idk if u can tell but i love jeffrey w all my heart, im so sad he didnt make it in the vids this time but surely we’ll see him again in the futyre 😞😞💔💔

closeup tehee

[tryingtofindava]

some of the creeps with a cannibalistic reader? :> if thats okayy

── 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐛𝐚𝐥! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫*ೃ༄

(Includes: Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, Ticci Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Nina the Killer.)

: ̗̀➛Back to source

>>Part 2

╰┈➤ 𝐉𝐞𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

He doesn’t hide the fact AT ALL that he thinks it’s absolutely gross.

And he’ll always make that clear to you.

Onetime you were in the woods after offing some poor camper, eating away at their flesh. And Jeff came by because he was on his way back to his hiding spot from the world.

He watches and mocks you the whole time, because he’s an asshole.

“Y/n, that’s fucking disgusting.” (he scoffs while being covered in like 7 different peoples blood…)

Anyways lolz he doesn’t support you :3

╰┈➤ 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤

Whether you’re a cannibal by choice or forced to be (like him) he feels a weird connection to you in that way.

I’d be a liar if I said you two didn’t bond over the fact that you both have the taste for human flesh. (Which is like, a BIG deal for Jack since he isn’t the most social Creep out there.)

He may even share his little human organs with you, and it may as well become your guys usual hang out plan.

╰┈➤ 𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲

I’m actually sure he was supposed to be cannibal but was changed later on by Kastoway since it was too similar to EJ’s story and stuff. So it was set that he only ate some parts of his victims on rare occasions.

I’m also pretty sure it’s canon that the way he got the gash on his cheek is because he literally gnawed it off because his gloves prevented him from eating away at the skin on his fingers.

So yeah… he’s probably un phased by your desire to eat people. (Not that he’d give a shit in the first place, he’d probably just tease you sometimes about it)

Maybe even on his mini missions he’d take some human parts from his victims for you to scran on.

╰┈➤ 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞

Again, another two who find it repulsing-ish.

BUT!!

They don’t make it as obvious as Jeffrey does about finding it icky, though you can still sense their vibe being off ‘cause of your strange addiction.

Sometimes when you eat in the woods they may come across you and watch, though you can’t see their faces from their masks you know that they are silently judging you.

If I’m being completely honest, they’re both more curious about it than anything. They’ll both get over it eventually.

╰┈➤ 𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

She’s completely cool and chill about it!!

She canonically dated EJ, so she kinda had to be fine w it lolz.

Her love language is gift giving, and acts of service, so like Toby she definitely brings you humans to munch on.

You want them raw? Okay!! You want ‘em fried? She’s getting the pan out now!

She loves getting her hands dirty for you, and feels no regret what so ever when she ends an innocent person to bring you your dinner!! :)

Half of this was me babbling lolz

[bragginball-z]

If Dean and Cas aren’t supposed to be seen in a romantic light, then why do so many canon characters view them as in love/secretly together??

Like Jeffrey relating to Dean with how he lost his demon and suffered just like Dean is currently suffering since he lost his angel?? And how he literally prefaces relating to Dean’s current unhealthy/unstable state by admitting that he’s in love with the Demon that possessed him?

Or how Balthazar tells him “I think you have me confused for the angel in the dirty trench coat that’s in love with you.”

OR Crowley telling Cas that he smells like the impala and that they “agreed they wouldn’t make out with the boys”?

OR OR OR! How, just in general, it’s a reoccurring theme for basically every character in the show to point out the significance of Dean and Cas’s relationship and how they obviously share a intimate and PAINFULLY OBVIOUS bond?

Just something that’s been haunting me lately, no biggie.

[lemoncrushh]

Her Album

Summary: Harry has finished recording his album, and he wants her to hear it.

Warnings: Angst, lots of feelings

Word Count: 2.9k+

A/N: A short one-shot written in 2019 in first person from Harry's POV. While this is not necessarily a reader fic, the woman's name is never mentioned. This was written before Fine Line was out, so it's pretty wild to think about it now.

The album was done. I’d made a visit to the studio to hear the final mix and then had lunch with Jeffrey and Glenne. As I drove home, I listened to the songs again in the car, deciding not to stop at my house when I got there, but instead to keep going so I could give one last listen straight through.

I’m not sure how I ended up on her street. It used to be automatic, like taking my shoes off before my trousers, or putting the cap back on the toothpaste. I’d driven down her block so many times before, I probably knew it better than my own neighbourhood.

I sat in the car for a long time, staring up at her window. I wasn’t even sure if she was home. I couldn’t tell if a light was on, but it was the middle of the day and that window was her bedroom, so she could’ve been anywhere else inside. I let the album loop around to the first track again, the opening chords hitting me in the chest just like the first time I’d heard them.

I wanted her to hear them too. I wanted her to listen to the melodies and have them bring back the memories that had inspired me to write them. I wanted her to listen to my lyrics and know they were all about her, even the ones that weren’t as obvious. Songs about love and loss. Songs about sex and lust and forbidden fruit. Songs that sounded like they were about something completely different, hidden behind loose meanings and innuendos.

But they were all about her.

I scrolled through my phone and opened the contacts to her name. We hadn’t spoken in weeks, maybe even months. I’d lost count. Being in the studio had helped to heal my broken heart, and my pride, but it certainly hadn’t erased her memory. She was with me every single day, every moment that I worked on a song.

I almost tapped on her name, my thumb grazing over it. But I stopped myself, turning off my phone, and then my engine. Climbing out of the car, I walked around it to the pavement in front of her building, once again looking up at her window. For a second I considered being like John Cusack in Say Anything, holding up an 80s boom box and serenading her with my music so she’d notice. But I reckoned that was borderline stalking, not to mention disturbing the neighbours, so I made my way to the stairs and climbed them to the second floor.

I stopped in front of her door, staring at it for a good two to three minutes before I even lifted my hand. I took several breaths, wondering if I was making a mistake. She probably didn’t wanna see me, let alone talk to me. She didn’t give a shit about my album. She had moved on.

But I was there. I felt like something had brought me there for a reason, and that reason was to play her my music. Let her know exactly how I felt about her - how she drove me crazy and how she’d hurt me and how I’d hurt her. How in love with her I’d been. How I still…

Finally, I knocked, a little too softly at first, but I didn’t want to startle her. At least that’s what I told myself. When no one responded, however, I knocked again, much louder and with determination.

“Jesus, I’m coming!” I heard her yell from inside. “Hold your-”

She stood before me with a half-eaten apple in her hand, her mouth open and her eyes wide. She wore a t-shirt and shorts, her hair pulled back in a loose bun and no makeup. She looked beautiful.

“Hey,” I said, my voice not quite cooperating so I sounded like a frog.

“Harry.” She said my name in almost a question, though she knew it was me. She just wondered why it was me.

When she didn’t say anything else, I shifted my eyes up and down the hall and shrugged.

“Can I come in?”

I admit, I expected her to nod and step back to let me inside her apartment. But when she shook her head, my face fell.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she remarked.

“Um...why not?”

“Because…” she began, her tone hard as steel, “I just got over you.”

“Over me?” I gulped.

“Yeah. It’s taken me a while, but I finally am,” she explained, placing the apple on the table by the door. Then wiping her hands on her shorts, she leaned against the door frame. “You haven’t shown your face here in nearly three months. I can’t just let you waltz on in here and undo everything.”

“‘m not…” I stumbled, “‘m not undoing anything.”

“Then why are you here?”

Her gorgeous but stern eyes glared at me, piercing through my heart. I looked down at my feet, thinking I’d made a mistake by coming. She didn’t want any more to do with me. I’d waited too long and missed the window. Maybe there hadn’t even been one.

Lifting my head, I looked at her beautiful face again. It was then that I recognized the shirt she was wearing - my old AC/DC t-shirt.

“Looks like you’re not completely over me,” I pointed. I dunno why I said it. It was petty and juvenile.

“What?” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

She looked down at the emblem on her chest, seemingly just realizing what she had on. With a sigh, she dropped her arms.

“I just like it,” she said, her head held high. “And you basically gave it to me anyway.”

“No, I didn’t.” Shut up, H, you’re making it worse, I thought to myself.

“Well, you left it here. And I ended up sleeping in it. And you never came back, so…” She crossed her arms again in defense.

She was right. The last time I’d been in her apartment, we’d had a massive fight, and I’d told her it was over and stormed out. She’d tried calling and texting me for a couple days, but I’d ignored her, stubborn with pride. When I’d finally agreed to talk to her again, I was only being a right twat, unable to see or accept her side. So, we only ended up fighting again until she said she needed some space.

“I was giving you your space,” I muttered, knowing damn well I sounded like a wanker.

“For six weeks?” she snorted and shook her head. “You have some nerve, Harry.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“What was that?” she stepped closer to me, her brows furrowed. “Did you really just say you’re sorry?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Sorry for what? For breaking my heart? For being a dickhead? For not calling or texting or even saying one word to me for freaking ever? For telling me it was over in the first place? Or for showing up here now when I’m finally over you?”

I blinked. “All of it,” I admitted.

Her lips twitched, and for a second I thought she was going to smile.

“Fuck you, Harry!” she exclaimed.

Stepping back, she grabbed the door, ready to slam it. But I brought my hand up and stopped it.

“I want you to listen to it,” I said, remembering why I’d come.

“Why should I listen to you?” she asked, her voice cracking.

“Not to me. To the album. It’s finished, and I want you to hear it.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t be serious. You came here so I’d listen to your new music? You really are a douchebag.”

“No, you don’t understand, I-“

“You’re right, I don’t,” she interrupted. “But seems to me you had weeks to explain yourself, Harry. I’m done crying over you.”

She was about to shut the door again when I called out, “I’ve been crying over you, too!”

She stood still, her hand on the door that was opened only a crack. Leaning her forehead against it, I could tell she was holding back tears. I didn’t want her to cry now, at least not over this.

“Liar,” she croaked.

“It’s not a lie, ba-” I almost called her baby, but I knew she wouldn’t like that. Not yet. “Please. Let me in. You don’t even have to talk. Just listen to the album.”

I stood silent for a moment, watching her eyelashes flutter against her pink cheeks. Finally, she let out a sigh and stepped back, opening the door to allow me to step inside.

“Thanks,” I muttered low as she closed the door behind me.

She didn’t reply. In fact, she didn’t even look at me as she grabbed her half eaten apple and went into the kitchen. I stood in the middle of the living room, waiting for her return.

“Okay,” she gestured toward me as she plopped onto the couch. “Go ahead.”

Spotting her laptop on the coffee table, I pointed. “Do you mind?”

She merely nodded and I sat down next to her and opened it. Then sliding my hand into my pocket, I pulled out the USB drive and plugged it in, bringing up the files I’d saved in the studio. With a click of the mouse, the first track began to play, those familiar chords ringing once again. I sat back and watched her, waiting for some kind of reaction on her face.

But none came.

Not when the first track ended, nor when the second song started, the first lyric blatantly about her. I started to get restless, rubbing my palms on my knees and bouncing my leg. I ran my fingers through my hair, a habit she used to tell me was endearing, only now she didn’t give any indication that she even noticed.

Finally, during the third song, I saw her make the slightest move, leaning against the arm of the sofa and resting her head in her hand. We made eye contact for a second before she quickly looked away, her eyes hazy. I wondered what she was thinking. I wanted so badly to ask, to pry it out of her, but I’d promised she needn’t talk.

We were halfway through the album when I caught more movement out of the corner of my eye. I’d been sat with my head down, unable to look at her during track seven, the most intimate and personal song I’d written. My gaze lifted to her, and I noticed her shoulders were shaking. Her head was still in her hand, her cheeks now wet with tears.

I wanted to reach out, to hold her in my arms. God, I wanted that so bad. But I let her be. I knew she needed to cry without me giving false promises that everything was okay. None of this was okay.

I’d cried when I’d written that song. I’d broken down in the recording booth when I’d sung the chorus for the first time. I only just realized as I watched her body shake with sobs that I’d been an idiot for not telling her how I’d felt. But maybe...just maybe she could finally hear me through my songs.

By the time that track ended, I was in tears too. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, sniffling as I tried to compose myself. I sat back on the couch again, my head leant back. I shut my eyes and listened to the next song, one a little more uptempo. I tapped my fingertips on the cushion at my sides, humming softly. This song was about happy memories, when we’d laid on the beach or beside my pool last summer. When we’d been so in love and hadn’t a care in the world. Before all the fighting and jealousy and…

I almost didn’t feel it at first, her hand brushing mine. It was such a light touch, I thought perhaps I was imagining it, lost in the song. But my eyelids fluttered open when I felt it again. I stared at my right hand on the cushion, her slim fingers over mine. She used to like to do that, when we’d be sat together watching a movie, or lying in bed reading. She’d trace my hand and knuckles with her fingertips, her delicate hand dancing over mine before I’d smile and thread our fingers together. It was an unspoken gesture of affection we’d had. I missed it.

God, I missed her.

I raised my head to look at her. I half expected her to be looking at me too, but she was focused on our hands. Her expression wasn’t one I’d hoped either. She looked sad, her cheeks still tear-stained. I wanted to kiss them, make it all better.

I opened my mouth to say her name, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and she looked at me. I turned my hand over then like I used to, wanting to thread our fingers together. But she pulled away, her jaw set.

“Why’d you do that?” I asked, my voice a deep rasp.

They were the first words either of us had spoken since the music started, and I instantly regretted it, knowing I’d meant to stay silent until the end. We were on track nine now, a couple more songs to go. I still wanted her to hear all of it. I wanted her to know I still felt the same, even though I wasn’t completely over the anger, over the heartbreak. But I’d spilled my guts out in my songs. I was shit at communication, I knew that. I hoped that she could understand it all in my music.

“I...I don’t know,” she whispered.

She crossed her legs then, sat in the corner of the couch. She reached behind her head and pulled at her bun, letting her hair fall freely down her shoulders. She seemed comfortable, at least less resistant than she had when I’d knocked on her door. I could tell she wanted to talk, but she kept her mouth shut because I’d told her she could. I also felt like she was really listening though. And that was really all I wanted.

“That was a really good song,” she surprised me after track ten. But she didn’t say anything more.

Clearing my throat again, I sucked in my lips when the final song started. If track seven had been the most personal, this was the companion to it. This was me giving my heart, me asking forgiveness and giving it back. This was me wanting another chance to prove how I felt about her. I’d known as I was writing and recording it that the possibility of that happening was slim to none. But I had to take a chance. I was tired of keeping it bottled up, being a stubborn prat because I’d wanted my way and had to be right. I was all kinds of wrong. I knew I wasn’t fully to blame for our break-up, but I was taking responsibility and owning up to my part in it. I hoped she could hear that in my voice.

By the time the song was over, my head was in my hands. I perched on the edge of the sofa shaking. I’d already listened to it a handful of times in the studio and in my car, but it hadn’t had the effect it had now, sat in her living room with her beside me. I was sobbing like a baby.

“Harry…” I heard her whisper.

When I lifted my head this time, she was right beside me, her face so close it startled me. Her hands were in her lap, and she wrung them like she was either nervous or was trying to keep herself from touching me.

“I’m so sorry,” I cried. “For everything.”

“I know,” she nodded. “I heard.”

“Will you forgive me?” I asked, turning to face her. I wanted to lift my hand to touch her face but thought better of it. Instead, I hesitantly reached for her hand. I was pleasantly surprised when she let me take it.

“Only if you forgive me, too,” she said.

I let out a deep breath and leant forward. I wanted to kiss her but wasn’t sure if she was ready yet. Lifting my hand this time, I grazed her cheek and wiped a tear away with my thumb.

“I still love you,” I admitted. “I never stopped. I’m just so sorry I waited this long.”

She bit her perfect bottom lip, her big eyes blinking fast.

“I thought I was over you,” she said. “I thought you were over me.”

“Guess we were both wrong.”

She leant into me then, and I took it as my cue. I took her into my arms and kissed her, like I’d wanted to kiss her for months. She felt so good against me, and I quickly found myself shedding more tears.

“We still have a lot to talk about,” she whispered when I released her lips.

“I know,” I agreed. “I promise I’m not walking out this time.”

“Good,” she nodded before kissing me again.

We ended up listening to the album again together while we prepared and ate dinner. There were more tears, but also lots of conversation. We had a long way to go, but I was hopeful.

Something had made me drive down her street. I guess it was me.

If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[cherries-in-wine]

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒖𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 ‧₊ ☁️⋅♡ ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

People call Vladimir Nabokov a disgusting creep for writing from the perspective of a pedophile when in reality if you read the book, Humbert Humbert is not likeable in the slightest. He's an unreliable narrator that's so stuck in his own delusions that he can't see how miserable dolores is because of him. Nabokov is a great writer and lolita is really well written. It's a great satire in the sense that it's pathetic to see Humbert Humbert think he's sooo charming and these "nymphets" are soooo in love with him. Dolores' trauma is obvious to any competent reader, I don't know how people are so charmed by Humbert Humbert that they can't see how dolores' defiance which he refers to as "teenage rebellion" or "tantrums" is a very apparent cry for help. Lolita is a Gothic horror, a cautionary tale. It's a genius work of art and what's most horrific about it is how society reacted to it, how it's so normalised to sexualise little girls that blatant pedophilia is interpreted as a tragic love story. Nabokov himself referred to dolores as his "poor little girl". He had a lot of empathy for her and it must be so heartbreaking to see her getting sexualised.

When I first read the virgin suicides i thought it was a great work of satire. I adore the Lisbon girls with all my heart, I see a part of myself in all of them by varying degrees. The boys who claimed they loved these girls, only saw them as some fantasy. Even in death they never truly respected any of these girls. How when they found Cecelia's diary, instead of trying to make sense of why she killed herself, they selfishly searched for their own names. I loved the irony of the boys claiming they loved these girls when they didn't know anything about them. It showed how their "love" was really shallow and surface level. I thought Jeffrey Eugenides really understood me in that sense. But in reality he didn't mean any of the things the boys did to be interpreted as satire. According to him, peaking through windows, stealing used tampons, joking about groping dead girls, these grown men still picturing those little girls years later while they had sex with their wives etc was supposed to show that teenage boys are not disgusting horny dogs, but romantic softies (if anything this made me think teenage boys are much more repulsive than i thought). According to Eugenides the book is satire, but in the sense that you never know what was going through a person's head when they committed suicide and you can't make sense of it no matter how hard you try. Everything about how the boys viewed the girls was not satire and was to be taken at face value. This really broke my heart, an author who i thought really did get me and understood me, ended up making me feel watched instead of seen.

It's so interesting how lolita which is supposed to be from the perspective of an unreliable narrator was taken at face value and the virgin suicides which was to be taken at face value was perceived as satire.

The director of Lolita didn't get her at all, even he thought she was some kind of a seductress instead of a child that was abused repeatedly. While the virgin suicides movie was so much better than the book, Sofia Coppola, the director, understood the Lisbon girls so well and she did them justice.

[tang3r1n]

still on my shitty dabi kick and i think i struck a chord with @mostlyheinous so here’s random ass shit i think a deadbeat bf dabi would do

18+, hard dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, smoking, forced drinking/taking of drugs, dabi purposely makes you have a bad trip on acid, unprotected sex, anal (referenced plus a thumb in the stink) i’ll add more idfk

kay first off, along the smoke vein, dabi would absolutely threaten to put his cigarettes/blunts out on you if you keep crying (openly, he loves watching you cry all quiet n sniffly)

he’s also no doubt changed you around the apartment with bugs/gross shit just to make you squeal and beg him to put it away

“baby it’s jus’lil beetle~” while waving a fucking 4in long roach he found outside in your face, “gimmie a big, sloppy kiss and i might throw Jeffrey away, as much as it pains me to.”

constantly making you exchange physical/sexual acts for practically basic respect

“show me your pretty tits and i’ll let you go hang with those stupid cunts— no i’m not gonna stop callin’em that, they’re dumb cunts.”

loves making you suck him off right after work, still all musky from the day, his cock even more salty from sweating all day (scent/smell kink is my fav im SORRY.) plugging your nose and jutting his hips out harshly to make you gag and cough around his cock, the sinfully wet noise making him groan out a chuckle as he watched you cringe

any and all attempts to change his behavior end with gaslighting and fake hurt plastered on his face as he breaks your fucking back in bed

“ungh- you’re such a fucking good girl f’me.. i love your, pretty, im so sorry you feel the need to accuse me of such things- god squeeze my dick like that again, fuck yeah- i..uh- gonna make you cum so hard, show y’how this noisy cunt ‘sall mine..”

steals your panties and jacks off with them right fucking in front of you, dick swinging and balls out as he strikes himself with your panties pressed against his face. his bright ass blue eyes piercing into you while he noisily huffs in the smell of your pussy and licks up the crotch of them like the perverted degenerate he is

oh and when you try to break it off, setting him down to explain that he is just..too much.. for you, he goes ballistic.

grabbing you by the hair and dragging you to the bedroom, placing you down still surprisingly softly as he ferociously tears off your clothes and starts eating you out like his life depend on it (idk to him it might, he’s a loser)

once he’s got you all whiny and soft after a few mind-shattering orgasms, he’ll start coping and trying to slip you back into the haze of his glaringly obvious manipulative love

“don’t say stupid fucking shit, pretty, jus’cuz y’on your period or what-the-fuck-ever is going on in that lil head don’t mean you can treat me like this.”

hell chastise you while he fingers you, fingers blurred as he finger-fucks you dizzy, fishing his cock outta his dirty jeans and scoffing as you whine and cry again, shuffling up the bed

he pulls you in again by your ankles, a scarred hand quickly silencing you as it softly pressed against your throat, a silent threat, as he spoke patronizing words to your sex and lust filled mind,

“just be my good angel one more time, pretty,” he forces a crack in his voice, flexing his throat so he sounds tearful and sad, “i just..i love you s’much, wanna show my pretty girl, my everything, how much she means t’me,”

the second you nod he’s grinning manically and flipping you over, forcing his cock into your wet cunt and rabidly humping against your ass, dick barely leaving and inch before pumping right back in as deep as it’d fit.

he’d spit on your other puckered lil hole, making your cry and squirm yet again as he pushes his thumb against it, gut burning with lust and a perverted sense of affection

“no- nononono angel- calm it down, i jus’wanna feel your cute ass ‘round me, promise it’ll just be my thumb— yes pretty i pinky promise

(he ends up cumming in your ass i don’t make the rules mb)

other than failed breakups and gaslighting, dabi also likes getting his pretty wasted

like… really wasted.

dabi’ll give you shit after shot, even making you sit pretty for him while he spits Jack Daniels into your awaiting mouth

he spikes literally all drinks he makes you and it’s so obvious but he just tells you it’s to ‘loosen your bitchy ass up,’ but in his own special, joking tone.

cut to you blowing cum bubbles while you suck him off, completely drunk, head dizzy and body fuzzy as he records you almost mindlessly salivating over him.

“say hi to Shigaraki f’me, pretty, little bastard is gonna love seeing you all horned up and slutty~”

he also shotguns his blunt/pipe/bong hits to you—never lets you hit in your own

dabi loves it if you sit on his lap during this too, a rare domestic scene of you both just vibing and grinding, soft praises and touches that feel unreal coming from him

the he ruins it by slapping your ass and making you cook him dinner

wait i had a funny idea hold on

“babe can we please go see my momma today— it’s just that it’s m’birthday and you made me skip it last year..”

“pretty, that bitch hates my ass, why would we go see someone who hates us?” (notice he says ‘us’ anyways)

[cut to momma glaring at dabi the entire time they’re over and throwing shoes at him once he opens his fucking mouth]

kay that’s all for now ig

wait

sometimes when you’re falling asleep you can hear him obsessively rambling and mumbling abt how much he loves you, how disgusting everyone else alive is, how he’d kill anyone who dared talk to-LOOK at you, how he thinks you’re such a soft, beautiful little thing that he just wants to protect but oh how he fucking loves ruining your angel wings.

[squeakintothevoid]

Exmormon thoughts on the Book of Mormon Musical:

The whole thing was spectacularly irreverent

*does some googling* oh its written by the creators of south park, that makes sense

The bright and cheery forced smiles of the missionaries are accurate

The set is amazing, with it looking like an lds temple and everything. The backdrop with the clouds and the planets even looks like the giant murals they have in the temple visitors centers

I love the salt lake city backdrop with the mormon temple right in the middle surrounded by the more obvious corporations like McDonald's and stuff. Did you know the LDS church owns a mall in the same city? It even has a little river going through it

The spooky mormon hell dream sequence was the best thing i've ever witnessed. Especially as somebody who really did get guilt-fueled nightmares, albeit not as theatrical and hellish lol

Seeing the cups of coffee dancing in hell alongside Jeffrey Dahmer and Adolf Hitler was the best, my favorite moment

The song about turning off your uncomfortable/unapproved thoughts was also amazing. The actual phrase commonly used is putting the thought "on your shelf" to set it aside to think about later. There's literally a song they teach to toddlers about never frowning because nobody likes it and making yourself smile instead.

Hearing people crack up about things you used to believe sucks but finally you are surrounded by people who agree that this is ridiculous rather than people who think you are the crazy one for doubting

Mormons don't actually think Jesus was blond but they do think he visited America and most of the art makes him look northern European

Mormons don't really believe in a traditional hell or that Jesus hates you for sinning, but the level of guilt is still the same. Like that might as well be the case because your eternal afterlife is still at stake.

The "I Am Africa" song is so on point. Missionaries go to a foreign country and really do start wearing their traditional clothes and keep speaking the language even after coming home as if they really are part of the culture now

I was not expecting to see punk rock Darth Vader or Yoda or lieutenant Uhura or Sam and Frodo.

When Elder Price said "fuck," that was a blessed moment

I'm so glad I never actually went on a mission and could only relate so much. But that dedication to following all the rules in the missionary handbook is REAL and not even as intense as they portrayed it at times. The religious scrupulosity OCD is like no other. Like it's not unheard of for a missionary to keep working on their mission even if their mom or someone died while they were away.

There are still so many weird things about growing up mormon that they didn't even touch on. Like heaven being an MLM, multiple levels and everything.

Thanks for the read, feel free to ask any questions if you're curious because I like complaining about mormonism lol

[quarterlifekitty]

Letterboxd: Ghost

this is just a little series I'm starting about characters watching movies, and which movies make them point at the screen and go "look, that's us lol". This ended up MUCH SADDER than I thought it would.

cw: spoilers to the listed movies. graphic description of violence (description of the events within the movies), sort of a dive into Ghost's dark thoughts concerning your relationship.

Frankenhooker (1990)- Ghost does not think you know how completely fucked up and beyond saving he would be if something happened to you. He would lose whatever remains of his ability to discern right from wrong. Which is why he thinks Elizabeth Shelley and Jeffrey Franken are so cute! If you died and there weren't enough pieces to put you back together, he would definitely kill a bunch of hookers to make you a new body. And he likes to think you would do the same for him.

Saw (2004)- The original gay bathroom. Something about the relationship between Lawrence and Adam just gets to him. He would do way more than just saw off his foot if it meant saving you.

The Fly (1986)- Simon sometimes wonders if this relationship is held together by your pity for him. If all this time, you've been watching him lash out and degrade and it fills you with disgust and sympathy, and that's the only reason why you put up with him. He wonders if you're waiting for the day that he doesn't come home. He wonders if his desire for a family with you is born of the desperation for self preservation-- if a child from the two of you is the only way to preserve the piece of him that's still human, to prove that it ever existed once it's stripped from him like everything else. Also, every time he does something for you that requires a lot of raw strength he totally says "could a sick man do this?". He knows it's not a direct quote but it's close enough.

Prometheus (2012)- David 8 and Elizabeth Shaw. He feels like sometimes you're the only one outside the taskforce who sees him as a person. He's spent his entire life being used by people who see him as a machine. Sometimes, when he's feeling despondent and selfish, he feels like he would gladly poison the entire world so that you were the only ones left. And no, he never got around to watching Alien Covenant, so he doesn't know that David cuts off Shaw's head and did genetic experiments on it and keeps it as some sort of flayed souvenir in his study. Don't tell him.

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)- Besides the obvious connection to the title, sometimes Ghost feels like your love wasn't meant to be. That he's holding you back. That you met at the wrong time, in the wrong lifetime, maybe. That maybe you could be happy together for real in your next lives. That it would be best if he left you be.

What I'm saying is that he does cry when you watch movies occasionally. Very rarely, he hastens to point out.

[ultimateempath]

rating ace attorney investigations 2 localization names, PART 2! Part one can be found HERE

Blaise Debeste --> Excelsius Winner

9/10. I wanna be mad, I really do, but I just can't. Excelsius is super over the top, but I think it's cool as hell. Why'd they give the shittiest character such a metal name-

Jay Elbird --> Rocco Carcerato

8/10! I like it, it fits him and it's fun to say. Plus he does look like a Rocco.

Rocky --> Teddy

5/10. Calling the bear character Teddy is super obvious and honestly just lazy. Come on now.

Astique --> Azea

9/10, a pretty name that's fitting for a circus elephant.

Ally --> unchanged

10/10, they knew better than to change it, no notes.

Sirhan Dogen --> Bodhidharma Kanis

10/10! I was a little apprehensive at first because of how fuckin long that name is, but I did a little research and I actually really like it! They named him after an actual legendary Buddhist monk and managed tasteful dog wordplay, they did him good.

Anubis --> Helmut

8/10. This is acceptable, I understand the meaning behind the name and it fits well! ..Also it's the same name as a Psychonauts character I love so I'm a little biased.

Patricia Roland --> Fifi Laguarde

7/10. It doesn't roll off the tongue as well, but it fits her and honestly she does act like a Fifi.

Delicia Scones --> Delicia Scone

10/10. They only changed one letter, true perfection.

Jeffrey Master --> Samson Tangaroa.

6/10. Eh...it's not necessarily bad, it just feels very off to me. I get what they were going for though and I appreciate that they put thought into it.

Katherine hall --> Judy Bound

9/10! Not what I expected, but it's a pretty name and it fits her well. I also how he surname Bound can be seen as a nod to how she and Samson are bound together in a way.

Dane Gustavia --> Carmelo Gusto

7/10. It fits him well and rolls off the tongue alright. I don't have anything else to say about it.

Isaac Dover --> Artie Frost

7/10. Very on the nose, but in a way that works well! I think it's fitting.

Pierre Hoquet --> Paul Halique

9/10! It stayed a P name and they moved the que to the surname, I'm happy with this!

Jill Crane --> Rosie Ringer

8/10, it's a pretty name and fits her very well. I also really like the alliteration, it's a fun touch.

Karin Jenson --> Florence Niedler

6.5/10. I get what they were going for, but I don't think it really fits her. She just doesn't look or act like a Florence to me. I like the surname though.

Bonnie Young --> Hilda Hertz

8/10. It's certainly more of an old lady name, but I think it fits pretty well.

John Marsh --> Shaun Fenn

9/10, I like it! They kept the wetland wordplay and I think the name fits him well enough! Plus Shaun is also the Irish variant of John, which is a fun tidbit.

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Can I ask for an Emily x reader from class of 09?

Emily x GN! Reader

AN: yo w i fuckin love emily. literally the goat. tbh i highly doubt emily would date anyone who's not actually at least mildly insane so i'm gonna make reader kinda fucked up yk :thumbsup: Pairing: Emily x GN! Reader Warnings: Drug use, Codependence, Unhealthy relationships, Violence, idk just expect similar shit to the stuff in class of '09

HCs:

The two of you met when you were trying to find a plug to hook you up with some Addy's. It was pretty fucking surprising that you hadn't gotten your hands on some already, but that was mainly because you didn't want to die on the side of the road after downing some fake laced shit.

Emily was apparently a solid dealer. Sold for decent prices and gave discounts to people she liked more and it was pretty easy to ask her. You literally just walked up to her locker with a wad of cash and she tossed you a half-empty pill bottle and talked with you for a hot minute.

Somehow, you managed to win her over by bitching about Ms. Ames once and the two of you spent a shit ton of time together. Like, a LOT of time. Skipping classes together, going to the mall and selling crack, even sleepovers (that had way too much tension to be considered platonic).

After she stopped taking her anti-psychotics, she went full on batshit. All the shit about Emily being actually insane that all the bitchy kids were talking about? Fuck, they weren't lying. Emily was defending you with her fucking life. Fucking Jeffrey called you the lamest insult known to man and she practically jumped that fuckass.

Even though you guys were literally saying 'I love you' to each other like, 9 times a day, she was just your friend. Supposedly anyway.

Honestly, you highkey started thinking that you'd be 'just friends' forever until her gang boyfriend got his old ass hands on a huge fucking package of crack. You told her to sell it because some dumbass middle schooler would probably pay their life savings for half a gram, but of course, she doesn't listen.

Normally this shit would be mild as fuck but her parents were acting up and being bitchy whiny fucks so Emily had the genius idea of snorting a concoction of whatever mystery substances she had on hand and like half the entire supply of coke.

She was fucking blasted as fuck and she had the dead fish eye shit going on when she just started being weirdly clingy and she gave a violent but oddly heartfelt confession. It was like highkey concerning because of the sheer number of threats she not so subtly inserted in but it was endearing in its own twisted way.

Her words were slurred and the entirety of the little speech she gave could be summarized as the same shit she told Nicole in that one route but more sociopathic sounding???

Anyway boom I'm gonna put HC's on what it's like dating her now.

She probably wouldn't bother telling anyone that you two are dating, but it's so obvious. Like, everyone knows.

If someone says one thing that can be taken as offensive in the slightest to you, Emily will fucking pounce on the asshole and curb stomp them. She'd act all nonchalant about it afterwards.

Since a ton of the other people in the school have beef with her, if you defend her and slander the shit out of them, she'll be super happy about it.

Free drugs. She's not worried about OD'ing at all and takes smoke breaks with you all the time when skipping.

You guys have sleepovers like, everyday. Not even an exaggeration at this point. If your parents or her parents try to tell her no, she curses them out. If they're being particularly bold, she goes through with the slashing tires shit and is on the verge of actually beating the shit out of them.

If you ever get her a gift that she actually likes, she's going to constantly flex it. Get her a nice necklace or something and she'll literally never take it off.

Choose your words carefully. She's going to get pissed as fuck if you say one thing that she considers harsh. Drabble time woohoo "...Fuck, this is totally laced." Emily groaned, leaning her face onto her palm. She ran her free hand through her hair. Diverting her gaze from blankly staring at the table, she stared at you and raised an eyebrow. She opened and closed her mouth as if she lost her train of thought before giggling and leaning closer to you. "I love you. Like, I love love you. I'd kill anyone who even dares to be a bitch to you. I'd kill myself if you asked me to." She nonchalantly says. Batting her eyes, Emily firmly tugs you closer to her. She coyly twirls her hair around her finger while pursing her lips — and she's like 2 centimeters away from violently making out with you. What do her lips taste like? Xanax probably. Fuck, she's actually so pretty. "You're not gonna say it back?" She pouts. She's clearly high off her ass right now. At this distance, you notice the little minute details, like how she painted her nails today and how her mascara's just slightly fucked up. With a hesitant 'I love you too', she digs her nails into your shoulders and pulls you in for a kiss. She's acting almost rabid and she desperately wraps her arms around your torso and breathes into your lips. Slipping her tongue in, she pushes you onto the couch and pins your shoulders down. After what feels like a long ass time, she parts the kiss and takes heavy breaths while staring down at you. "Can I stay the night at your place?" AN: lmfao sorry that took a lil while my internet was freaking the fuck out. anyway this was fun as fuck thank youuuu :3

[lovecanyon]

INSTAGRAM BLURB

harry x gemma’s best friend (y/n)

day four!

MASTERLIST | PATREON

-

gemmastyles has added to their stories!

liked by harryfan5, harryfan9 and 264,802 others

harryflorals “Someone very special is here tonight. I grew up with her, so having her here tonight watching me perform makes me so happy. Y/N! She is over here right next to my bully of sister. Now let’s give her a round of applause!” - HARRY ON STAGE TONIGHT IN MANCHESTER TALKING ABOUT Y/N, HIS SISTER’S BEST FRIEND!

harryfan6 oh my god

harryfan6 oh my god

harryfan10 GEMMA’S INSTAGRAM STORY THOUGH…

harryfan7 didn’t he say in an interview during his one direction days that gemma’s best friend was his crush…

harryfan4 harry is down bad for y/n 😭

harryfan8 he’s still in love with her…you can immediately tell

harryfan11 HIS LOVER ERA

harryfan2 i just fell onto my knees

harryfan14 and everything just came crashing down…

harryfan16 imagine being harry styles’ crush

harryfan12 i would die

liked by yourinstagram, annetwist and 2,671,389 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Manchester ll. June, 2022.

view all comments

harryfan22 when he’s a popstar 🙏

harryfan25 HIS FAMILY WAS AT THIS SHOW!

yourinstagram i totally forgot you sing

harrystyles Well maybe you wouldn’t forget…if you go to more of my shows…pleaseee.

harryfan20 you can still tell he has a big fat crush on her

harryfan29 “pleaseee” my man wants her so bad!!!

gemmastyles a true rockstar 🕺

harryfan26 omg harry is such an underground artist…

anthonypham king!

harryfan21 i need him so bad 😫

liked by gemmastyles, harrystyles and 97,901 others

gemmastyleseyewear When you randomly call your best friend to have a photoshoot to promote your sunglasses brand…Y/N I love you!!!!

view all comments

harryfan34 A GODDESS 🙏

harryfan30 when every one direction fan wanted to be y/n…i still do honestly

harrystyles Very gorgeous. Xx

harryfan37 after all these years he continues to have a crush on y/n…he’s so cute 😭

harryfan39 i wanna be you @yourinstagram

annetwist the most beautiful girl ever ❤️

harryfan31 THE STYLES SIBLINGS REALLY LOVE Y/N

glenne_azoff so very stunning!

harryfan35 i have been obsessed with y/n for years

liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 582,631 others

yourinstagram thank you harry for (personally) inviting me to your show, it has been amazing seeing you grow over the years.

view all comments

harryfan46 HARRY PERSONALLY INVITED Y/N? HE REALLY IS DOWN BAD

harryfan41 the caption has me sobbing 😭

harrystyles I love you so much darling.

yourinstagram i love you more of course ❤️

harryfan43 i’m going to need them to get together

pillowpersonpp had such a fun time with you!!!

harryfan48 y/n just made harry’s years of dreaming come true…

jefezoff you are the future mrs. styles, i already know

harryfan40 JEFFREY? EXCUSE ME

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 304,771 others

gemmastyles My date for today!

view all comments

harryfan52 I WANT HER NOW

harryfan55 y/n is so effortlessly gorgeous 😫

harrystyles I’m completely speechless.

harryfan58 WE KNOW 😭

harryfan50 i am going though all stages of grief right now

annetwist never will get over her beauty!

harryfan56 proud to say i’ve been a fan of y/n for almost a decade 🙏

mollyjane_x such a stunning woman!!! 🥰

harryfan59 Y/N SLAYED

liked by harryfan64, harryfan66 and 473,810 others

dailystyles HARRY AND A MYSTERY WOMAN OUT IN LONDON TODAY!

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harryfan60 that’s it nobody talk to me anymore

harryfan65 IT WAS ME BTW!

harryfan68 i never wanted to be anyone so bad right now 🫠

harryfan61 the way the girl he’s with is y/n…

harryfan63 it’s so obvious too 🫢

harryfan67 we all damn know it’s gemma’s best friend 😭

harryfan69 @yourinstagram they got you on camera

harryfan62 he’s finally getting the girl he always wanted

yourinstagram via stories

TO BE CONTINUED…

-

tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ivegotparticulartaste @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @japanchrry @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @seguin-styles1996 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @kaitieskidmore1 @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @iluvjj @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry @lomlolivia @b-reads-things

[lookupthewordjokeinthedictionary]

Back at it again with another Sanders Sides fanart post. This time we have Roman drawing the others the way he sees them, plus a little bonus of my special details and him drawing himself again!!

(is it obvious that I love him?)

First have Virgil drawn by Roman!! He gave him pointy elf ears because he loves him he has an affinity for woodland mythical creatures. I chose that one famous Virgil picture of Thomas on his chair, you know the one. I also gave Virgil some piercings, went a little bold. Ofc Roman wouldn't dare hide Virgil's beautiful big eyes behind his bangs, so they are a little more sparce.

Next we have Patton, and am I proud of this one!! Funny how Roman drew Patton so when you first see this drawing you think he's happy looking at you but instead his gaze turns more and more critical the more you look back. Hmm. Pretty sure that's just nothing. Roman drew everyone a little bigger than they drew themselves, however he didn't draw Patton any arms (totally not because he's tired of being manipulated by him)

Moving on, we have Logan!! Another dissapointed face, poor Logan, he must be dealing with Roman wayy too much. His hair is still neat but not as neat and Roman has definitely taken note of something lurking in the background.

Remus is always very fun to draw, but even though he lacks the mean look of my previous post, he is as unsettling looking as ever before. You could be naive enough to attribute his blackened fingers to paint (it's blood though) and you could also try to make up an excuse about me not knowing how to draw mouths (very true) but he does have a creepy dark smile. All of that, of course, according to Roman. I do appreciate how he drew him in his jazz "Jeffrey Dahmer" pose though, he still can recognise his brother's creativity.

Ah, Janus, our favourite lying fibber. Roman has an affinity for threatics, because he really accentuated that "dark" side of our favourite...side. His eyes are sharp and jydgy and instead of hands, he is given his beautiful snakes on his right arm. One with a halo on, one with some evil sparks. Totally nothing to look at here. (Also love how he gave all dark sides a little winged eyeliner, including Virgil)

If the previous post was about how Roman would draw himself, this one is probably how Roman would draw himself if no one was around. Instead of having a regal appearance and a side profile, he's all badazzled with imperfect sparks on his (badly) drawn fingertips. His outfit is a mess, his hair is curlier than anyone's but he smiles so so much. Poor boy just wants to let his creativity free. (he doesn't know in order to do that, he will need the help of his brother). It's a canon event, you can't interfere.

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

Wishing I Could Be There For You

(Harry Styles x implied!bi!fem!reader)

Part 2 to I’m Here, Right Here

Contains angst, happy ending.

He’s always there, and she wishes she could be there for him.

>>>——————->

You got a new life

“Why is H ignoring you Y/N?”

I hesitate to answer, not even really understanding the answer to Mr. Azoff’s question.

It’s been a month and a half since Harry and I have spoken. We had a break from tour and I went home to visit family. As usual, I went on a date. This one hadn’t been too bad. She was kind, but she had a boyfriend I found out, so obviously that sent me nowhere. And honestly… I can’t stop thinking about what Harry had said that night…

“I.. Don’t know. I’m sure he’s not ignoring me, his mind is probably just preoccupied..”

Mr. Azoff let’s out a sigh and shakes his head.

“Well, one thing is for sure. Neither of you have been the same since that last show. And for both of your sakes, I hope your able to figure it out.”

Mr. Azoff hands me his laptop and walks away from me to where Harry was, chatting with Sarah and Mitch. I look at him, and my heart can’t help but ache.

Am I bothering you?Do you want to talk?

About 30 minutes before show time, I hesitantly approach him, biting my lip as I speak to him.

“Hey um.. Mr. Azoff said it’s time to get ready…”

He gives me a small glance before nodding and looking away. He gets up from the seat he was occupying, pushing past me as he walks out of the room.

We share the last line

“You? Drinking? That’s a first.”

I raise a brow and his teasing expression.

“You said it was fine to drink on the job as long as I don’t overdo it and I can still do my job. That’s what I’m doing.”

I take another gulp of my whiskey, wincing at the taste as the cold liquid travels down my throat. Mr. Azoff only gives me a small smile and shakes his head.

“I know what I said. But in your time with us, you’ve never done it. I was just a bit surprised. This doesn’t have anything to do with that fight you had with him, does it?”

Then we drink the wall. Till we wanna talk.

I shake my head and down the rest of my glass before returning the empty glass to the bar.

“He doesn’t want to talk to me so it doesn’t matter.”

Mr. Azoff shakes his head once more and lays a hand on my shoulder.

“Talk to Sarah. She knows. She’ll help.”

I give him a small sigh and nod as I turn my eyes back to the stage.

I go round and round, Satellite

After the show, I manage to catch Sarah and Mitch before they head back to the bus.

“Talk? About what’s wrong with you and H?”

I bite my lip and nod. Sarah’s expression softens and she pulls me into a hug.

Spinning out waiting for you to pull me in

“He’s loved you since he met you, Y/N. It’s been pretty obvious to everyone but you apparently.”

I can only stay quiet, Mitch’s words hitting me hard. Sarah squeezes me tight and I have to fight back my tears.

“I know you love him, Y/N. You’ve loved him just as long. But you dismissed the idea of it. You didn’t think he’d ever love you like that, did you?”

She lets my go and my mouth drops in shock.

“How did you-.”

Sarah only laughs and hugs me again.

“You weren’t that obvious, but I could tell from the way you looked at him. Always love with a hint of pain.”

I can see you’re lonely down there

“Hey won’t talk to me, Sarah.. How do I fix this? I feel like it’s too late! He brushed passed me the other day! He doesn’t do that to anyone!”

She shushes me, patting my head softly.

“You are one of the people that know him best. We can help get him there, but you have to do the rest. If he’s worth it, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

I give her a nod and sad smile before she lets me go, taking Mitch’s hand and heading back to the bus.

Don’t you know that I am right here?

“Jeffrey, couldn’t this have-.”

The second he sees me, his face drops. He doesn’t even bother to meet my line of sight before he turns on his heel and I shout to him.

“H, please! Just wait!”

He stops for a minute before he slowly turns back around.

I’m in an LA mood

“What, Y/N? What could you possibly have to say to me? Whatever it is, I really don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to talk to you. Don’t you get that?!”

I huff and shake my head.

“Harry, that’s not fair! I’m sorry I didn’t know, but you left and stopped talking to me!”

He folds his arms over his chest and shakes his head.

“Everyone knew Y/N. I didn’t exactly try to hide my feelings!”

He turns around again and starts to stomp off in a huff.

She said, “Give me a day or two”

I sigh and before he can walk away any more, I grab his wrist, but he refuses to look at me as he stops.

“You pulled me in, H. You always have. But I never thought… I never thought we could be together..”

He shakes his head and lets out a scoff.

“How could you possibly think that? Do you think I’m that low, Y/N? You assumed and look where it got us..”

I’m here, right here

“You’re right… but I really thought it was for the best… You’re this international superstar and I’m just… Somebody’s assistant. So I tried. I thought I was doing the right thing. Obviously not…”

He lets out a sigh and finally turns around. He doesn’t say anything, but he holds his arms out to me. Before I can stop myself, I run into him and allow my tears to fall.

“I-I’m so, so sorry H! I-I never meant- I never wanted to hurt you! I just wanted to be there for you!”

He places a kiss on the top of my head as he holds me close.

“ ‘M sorry I got so mad Y/N/N… I just.. Felt like I was spinning out waiting for you…”

I take in his familiar, comforting scent and sigh.

“I’ll pull you in. I’m right here.”

He pulls away enough so I see the smile on his face. He takes a look around at the open area and looks down at me.

“So.. Whatcha got here?”

I smile and pull him towards my makeshift picnic.

“I got all your favorites! Obviously we’re sharing the California Rolls, but I found some really good shrimp tacos-.”

Before I can finish, I’m interrupted by his lips pressing against mine. I sigh and wrap my arms around him, pulling him into me. We only kiss for about a minute when he lets me go for air.

“Harry..?”

He hums as he holds me close, looking into my eyes.

“I love you,H.”

He smiles and pecks my lips before looking back down at me.

“No more spinning?”

I smile and shake my head.

“I’m right here.”

>>>————————->

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