#eggsy unwin fics

[shadows-of-a-memory]

i don’t need a roof - e.u.

trigger warning: none song: i don't need a roof author's note: closer to an imagine than a fic gary "eggsy" unwin masterlist

It's the sounds that wake you, finding Eggsy tossing and turning and struggling to breathe. "Eggsy?!" You exclaim, moving to your husband's side as quickly as you can. "Honey, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I was-" he pants, "drowning- hngh-" Your hands flutter frantically about him, not processing his words, trying to deduce the source of pain. He clutches tightly at his side, strands of wet hair falling over his face. "It all-" he grunts again, "-got kinda blurry."

He shifts slightly, laying on his uninjured side and propped up on his elbow beside you, head in your lap. Your hands come to rub his shoulders gently, concern never dissipating, but knowing he needs you to be strong.

Your breath is shaky. "You're right here with me," you comfort, breathing coming hard for the both of you as your hearts slow their running. In the relative silence, you can both hear the rain pitter-pattering outside.

in your face

"I finished-" he pauses, "the roof. Reshingling it." Another pause as he breathes through the pain. "Before this happened."

i see a lifetime

You nod, knowing what he means by 'this'. A simple infiltration quickly gone awry, due to a mole in kingsman compromising your covers. You had both fought to the end, but your resources were finite... and your target and captor, an organization known as Octa, had what seemed like infinite resources. And infinite cannon fodder.

in this place

Which brings you to now. You hadn't suffered much, as it was a deeply misogynistic group with the perspective of "how much trouble can she be, she's a woman"; but Eggsy had only gotten thrown back in your little cell around two hours ago, after what felt like at least a day of torture. It's probably shorter than that, as you have no way to measure time, but still. He's been waterboarded, beaten, whipped, and you think a few of his ribs to be broken as well. On top of that, he took a bullet—to the leg, nothing too crazy—in the fight beforehand. Overall, not the greatest condition. You've got a few bruises and wounds yourself, but nowhere near what he's dealing with.

i feel at ease

Belatedly, you realize you forgot to respond, and he can't see your head moving. "Yeah?" You confirm quietly.

wallpaper peeling, paint wearing thin

"The account has... ten years' rent in it..." Eggsy's chest heaves with the exertion of speaking. "You'll be fine."

No, you want to scream, No, I won't, I can't be, not without you, but you don't. Because he needs you to be strong. Because if you can't make yourself to be strong, he won't allow himself to be weak.

"Ah!" He hisses, turning slightly and to press his opposite fist into the ground and lift himself just barely, attempting to alleviate some of the pressure. "Sorry, luv- shouldn't've said- that-"

You take care as you help him sit up, clasping one of his hands in yours and supporting him as much as you can. You bend your head, trying to meet his eyes, and release his hand to cup his face with the one of yours not holding him up.

here's where i end and begin

"I don't need a roof to say I'm covered," you promise. "I don't need a roof to know I'm home." He leans forward slightly, most of his bodyweight transferring to you, but you don't budge. Your hand moves to the nape of his neck, playing slightly with his hair.

there could be a single shingle-dangling overhead

"Close your eyes," you encourage, feeling the struggle to try and support himself again. "I'm still beside you."

i don't need a roof to make my bed

Eggsy falls once more, shuddering against you. "I'm sorr-"

"No," you interrupt quietly. You can hear the rattle in his voice; can hear how much it takes for even those two syllables. You know he's probably punctured a lung; know that, at this point, it's a question of whether that or the blood loss will kill him first. You know your husband doesn't have long and it takes everything in you to keep the tremor out of your voice when you speak again. "No goodbyes needed today."

With that, the two of you sit, you humming a soft lullaby as rain patters down, the only other sound Eggsy's ragged breathing. If you close your eyes, you can almost imagine you're back at home, cuddling on the couch together with JB annoying your husband and a book in your hands.

hear what the rain says, know what it knows

You can almost hear yourself complaining about how messy your hair will be. Can almost hear Eggsy's response everytime you do. "Look on the brightside, luv. After the rain, something grows."

You can picture the happier times. Picture you and him in the kitchen, trying to make brownie batter but interrupted by your husband's decision that it's the perfect time to dance. Picture his arms wrapping around your waist, swatting them away, only to have the whisk removed as he twirls you to face him, positioning the two of you to sway to whatever song he put on.

i don't need a legal deed

You don't know when your offhanded humming turned to a melody line to the words—quiet ones, but words nonetheless—of your first dance song. "I don't need a roof to say I love you / I don't need a roof to call you mine / I don't need adventure in some far away frontier / I don't need a roof to feel you near."

to help me play my part

Eggsy is apparently still conscious, as he taps in morse code along your thigh, your singing falling off as you concentrate on the message. Dot dot long pause dot dash dot dot pause dash dash dash pause dot dot dot dash pause dot long pause dash dot dash dash pause dash dash dash pause dot dot dash. I L-O-V-E Y-O-U.

"I love you, too, Eggs." Your mind flashes to promises you've made over time to him. "All I need is you and you forever; All I feel is true and absolute."

His hand squeezes yours, and the pressure travels up to your heart, to your throat, choking out your life with each millimeter his slips away. You try to lay him down, but another squeeze stops you, an implicit let me stay this way. Your husband tilts his head up, meeting your eyes for the first time since you started supporting him, and you can't control the slight gasp at the blood that comes out as he coughs. In what appears to be extreme effort, and probably takes even more than is shown, he lifts his hand to cup your face.

His voice comes out as a whisper, each syllable formed determinedly, distinctly, desperately. "I don't- cough need- pant a ro- pant a roof to- cough hold- cough cough my he- pant heart," he whispers, finishing the line.

A tear slips down your cheek, closing your eyes to keep its siblings in. You feel it wiped away gently, Eggsy collapsing once more against you. You rub his shoulders, trying to impart what little comfort you can. You don’t trust yourself to open your mouth, worried that the sobs clawing their way up your throat will take it as an opportunity.

At some point, sitting there holding him—maybe milliseconds, maybe minutes, maybe days later, what feels like the blink of an eye and an eternity wrapped into one—you feel him inhale shakily against your breast with no exhale to follow, hand going limp against your thigh and body going heaver still.

“No,” you choke out, not sure if it comes out as a scream or a whisper, if your vocal chords will ever work again, as it feels he’s taken all speech with him. You lay him down gently, his eyes already closed, clutching his hand as if it’s a lifeline. You have the presence of mind to know CPR will have no effect, instead grabbing his other hand, limp but warm, and pulling it to your cheek.

“Stay with me,” you plead. “Eggs, please, please, just stay with me.”

You don’t know how long you babble, words turning indecipherable as they’re overtaken by guy-wrenching sobs. “Please, please.”

Your throat raw, you eventually stop, wiping the blood from his lips and pressing a final kiss to them. Your vigil turns silent, staring, willing at him to heal and return to you, but it doesn’t happen. You don’t notice yourself falling asleep until it happens, chilled to the bone—and all you can hope is that, maybe in the morning. you’ll be with him again under a new roof.

And when you wake curled up beside a corpse, having burrowed into him subconsciously in your sleep, your heart breaks all over again.

Roofless.

[drabbles-mc]

Third Floor

Eggsy Unwin & GN!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language

With the help of This Prompt List by @creativepromptsforwriting and my trusty Wheel of Names with every character I’ve ever written for, I’m aiming to write a fic in 500 words or less every day of March.

Prompt: rabbit

Word Count: 300

A/N: I've been writing Kingsman Fics for essentially 10 years at this point and this is the first time I've ever written readerfic for it. I don't know what else to say! I'd kill a man for Eggsy Unwin.

The only thing that Eggsy could hear over the blood rushing in his ears was the sound of his feet every time they struck the concrete. His arms and legs felt like they were moving of their own accord, doing whatever it took to keep him safe, to let him live to fight another day.

The footsteps behind him began to slow, but it didn’t stop Rottweiler from calling out after him, “Can’t run away from us forever, you know! Fuckin’ rabbit hops will only get you so far!”

Eggsy knew he was right, but it was working for now. Racing along the string of upper balconies, he got to the very end of the building before finally making himself skid to a stop. He crouched down and allowed himself a couple beats, hoping to get his breathing somewhat back to normal before he asked you to let him in again. Always the stray landing on your doorstep, or rather, windowsill.

When he heard the ruckus starting to pick back up down below again he knew he didn’t have any time to waste. Rapping his knuckles against your window, he only had to wait a few seconds before he heard you twisting the lock from inside.

Pushing the glass upward, you stuck your head out. “Biggest fuckin’ pigeon I’ve ever seen!” you joked.

He laughed, and you watched him shake his head, little beads of sweat starting to drop down the sides of his face. “Very funny.”

You popped the window open a little bit more to make it easier for him, stepping back and to the side so he could slip in as smoothly as possible. “Come on, then. Got your nest ready for you and everything.”

He hopped in and shut the window behind him. “Thanks for that.”

[lady-bess]

Fallout - Prologue

Jack Daniels x F!Reader Explicit/18+ (Minors DNI please) Chapter Word Count: 2.6k Chapter Tags: Graphic Description of Violence, Graphic Description of Injuries, Comatose Patient, Grief, Angst, Trauma.

Series Masterlist | A03 Link | Tumblr Masterlist

Next Chapter (Into The Ether) ->

Jack gets seriously injured in Cambodia after attempting to stop Eggsy and Harry from releasing the antidote for Poppy's narcotics. Ginger works around the clock to try and save him - but is it too late?

“Fallout [noun] - the adverse side effects or results of a situation”. 

20th of September, 2017.

“Viva Las Vegan,” Eggsy said, typing the code into the red briefcase he and Harry had retrieved from Poppy. “This one’s for you, Merlin.” And, with the push of the enter key, the antidote to Poppy’s tampered narcotics were released worldwide.

“Thank goodness that was the right code,” Harry joked, “We’d have been in a right mess if it wasn’t”.

“I think we’ll still be in a mess either way, Harry. This is gonna take one hell of a clean up team,” Eggsy said. He pivoted on the spot to survey the diner. All around the two men was a scene of destruction, extending out beyond the large glass windows into the jungle. Poppy Adams had made something unique here, they had to admit that. But now it lay to ruin, littered with the bodies of her accomplices, damaged beyond repair.

“You’re right about that. I’ll go ahead and call back to Ginger, let her know we’ll need a team out here as soon as possible. You tend to Whiskey’s head wound. He got knocked badly back there,” Harry said, tipping his head towards the other side of the counter, where Whiskey lay crumpled over in a heap on the ground.

Eggsy grimaced as he looked at the senior agent laid out on the floor, his mind flashing back to just minutes ago. One wrong move and he would have been in the machine, well beyond saving . The knock to the head wasn’t ideal, especially as it looked to be where he’d only just recovered from Harry having shot him, but at least with the alpha gel it would stop him from having anything wrong long term.

“You think we can trust Statesman now?” Eggsy asked, turning back to Harry. The senior agent nodded as he pulled a phone out from his inside jacket pocket, beginning to dial a number to get the clean-up team out.

“I’d safely assume so. It was clear that Whiskey was working for himself, and himself only . I don’t believe his actions are representative of the organisation he works for. He went rogue, Eggsy. We can trust them now, I’m sure of it,” he said, lifting the phone to his ear.

Eggsy nodded. He had learnt to trust Harry’s instincts, especially given that he was right on the money about Jack in the first place. A part of him would probably always regret not listening to him about his hunch, and asking Ginger to keep Whiskey sedated until the end of the mission. Then again, would he have ever shown his true colours had it not been for this fight?

Eggsy headed over to Jack while Harry placed the call. He overhead him connect through to Ginger, so help would be on the way soon. He knelt down next to Jack, smiling taut and sympathetically as he surveyed the damage.

Jack had a knock to the side of his head, right by his temple. Bruising was already spreading around his eye socket, and Eggsy wouldn’t be surprised if it transpired that he’d cracked his skull. The gunshot scar which he’d walked in here with not twenty minutes ago was already no longer visible under the new damage he’d sustained.

Blood had begun to pool under the agent’s head, and a small trail leaked from the side of his mouth from where he’d taken several hits to the jaw. Eggsy hated that he and Harry had needed to take such action, but it was clear that without it there was no way they were walking out of here alive, let alone releasing the antidote. The mission had to come first, always. 

Whiskey’s hat had already come off in the scuffle, knocked off after he smacked his head, and before he went down on the hard floor line a tonne of bricks. His dark brown hair lay unruly all around his head, the usual neat style he maintained beneath the stetson completely ruined. Eggsy leant over to the hat beside him to retrieve the alpha gel, hoping that he still wasn’t too late to apply the alpha gel now. The injuries looked serious, and Whiskey was losing blood fast. His breathing was already shallow, and the colour from his face was slowly fading away.

Eggsy turned over his hat, and his eyes widened. Panic rose within the agent as the safety net was virtually pulled away from him, like a rug had been dragged out from beneath his feet. Ginger had shown him how to use the alpha gel, and it had come in handy in Italy, saving Whiskey from Harry’s gunshot. He was so calm this entire time because he knew that there was more of this gel to help Jack again. But this time, he found that the hat was empty. 

There was no saving him so easily this time. 

“ Shit ,” he cursed, “There’s no fucking alpha gel!” he said, voice raised to get the attention of Harry on the other side of the counter.

“What?” Harry said, turning to face Eggsy, the line to Ginger still open.

“I said there’s no alpha gel , Harry. His hat never had any restocked after the last batch got used… fuck !” he shouted. Harry’s eyes widened as he saw Eggsy standing up, a look of panic across his face. It was never their intention to kill the agent, merely wound him enough to get him out their way, and then get him back to Statesman for questioning. Neither of them had stopped to consider that their fight could have actually had fatal consequences.  

“Fuck, indeed,” Harry said, “…Ginger, did you get that? We’ll need medics here, too. Whiskey has been hurt, badly, and we’ve no alpha gel to give him,” Harry relayed. Eggsy couldn’t make out what was being said on the other end of the line, but he saw Harry nodding along at whatever was being said.

While they waited for a response, Eggsy set to work. There wasn’t much he’d be able to do, given that this damage was certainly severe around the head, but he’d feel remiss if he didn’t try. He knelt back down next to Jack and took off his jacket, bundling it up to use as rags for the wounds that were visible. He pressed the most injured side of his head against the material, giving the blood he was losing something to soak into. He hoped that if he could at least stop the bleeding, it would give him a better chance at surviving this.

He wanted to put pressure on the wound, but he didn’t dare. The more he cleaned away the blood that had already left his body, the more visible the damage underneath was becoming. Eggsy could see a distinct mark under the thin skin around his eye, indicating there was a pretty nasty fracture there. It was hard to tell if there were any more, but given how hard he’d smacked his head, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

“There’s a team close by who are on their way now. Part of the team are medics, who will treat Whiskey as best they can while here, and then send him back off to America for Ginger to continue treating. The rest of the crew will stay and clear up here,” Harry said, jogging slightly to get over to Jack and Eggsy. He grimaced as he saw Jack’s injuries, now in full view.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered under his breath.

“Yeah, quite ,” Eggsy said, continuing to try and stop the bleeding, “Have we got anything on us that might help him?” he asked. Harry shook his head, his shoulders dropping slightly.

“Merlin did,” he said quietly. Eggsy sighed, dipping his head down in sorrow. Everything had happened so fast that he’d not really stopped to register that Merlin was truly gone now.

“Alright. Well, let’s do our best with what we’ve got. Then, tonight, we’ll raise a glass of Scotch for him,” he said, a faint smile on his face. Harry nodded, smiling back, and then knelt down next to Whiskey to help Eggsy with stopping the bleeding.

Hours had passed since the antidote had been released, and everyone in Kingsman and Statesman had been receiving alerts for most of the afternoon about the “miracle cure which came from the sky”, saving hundreds of thousands of people. It should have been a proud moment for both organisations to come forward and celebrate what was a momentous victory. But all that had to wait.

Statesman medics did their best with Jack on the scene, applying alpha gel immediately and then carefully getting him onto the transport carrier to take him back to Kentucky. The jet got him, Harry, and Eggsy, back stateside within just a few hours, and the second the wheels touched down everyone was scurrying off down to the asphalt.

Champ had arranged for Ginger and her team to be on the ground waiting for Jack when the plane arrived, and Eggsy marvelled at the speed in which the transition happened. Jack was safely in Ginger’s escort vehicle about three minutes after the pilot turned off the engines.

She didn’t stop the entire journey back, and this same efficiency continued once they were back in Statesman’s grounds. It was clear that Ginger was panicking, not wanting to lose a colleague like this. She’d already noticed that Merlin was suspiciously absent from the team, but didn’t stop to ask anything. The time for questioning could come soon; right now she needed all her focus on Jack.

Harry and Eggsy stayed out of her team’s way while she worked, hooking Jack up to all kinds of weird and wonderful machines. If there was any hope for him to ever wake up again, and to have a chance at living, it would only be in this facility. That was the one silver lining here, that at least he was in the best place possible on the planet.

But eventually, Ginger gave up. Broken, exhausted, and defeated after trying everything imaginable for hours, she stepped back from his bed. She’d only handed control over to her assistants once for ten minutes as soon as a dose of the antidote reached Statesman, and she went to administer it to Tequila. But other than that, she was flat out working on Jack.

Harry and Eggsy approached her slowly as Ginger dismissed everyone else in her team of lab assistants.

“How’s it looking?” Eggsy asked, wrapping one arm across Ginger’s shoulders for comfort. She sniffled, leaning into him, and shrugged.

“There’s nothing more I can do. He’s completely comatose. Only time will tell if he’ll recover. But there is a strong possibility that he might never wake up,” she said, her voice cracking from trying not to cry.

“We are so sorry, Ginger,” Harry said, standing at the other side of Jack’s bed, looking across at Clara. She smiled faintly.

“You did what you had to do. If he had his way, there would currently be hundreds of thousands of people dying out there, our Tequila included,” she said. “That’s what I’ve got to keep telling myself, I think”. 

“How is Tequila?” Eggsy asked.

“Groggy,” she chuckled, “But he’ll be fine. Told him to stick to the booze from now on,” she said. Then a silence fell across the three agents – words couldn’t fill the void that encompassed them all, but a question burned in the back of Clara’s mind.

“What happened to Merlin?” she asked quietly. Eggsy sighed softly, the reality of having lost a dear friend now catching up to him. He squeezed Ginger tighter and looked to Harry, hoping he would explain the events of Merlin’s passing, unsure that he himself had the strength to do so. He noticed, for the first time in his life, that Harry was starting to tear up. But still, ever strong, Harry spoke. Chest out, standing tall, like he was trained to.

“You can shed a tear in private”, as Merlin always said.

“Agent Merlin, unfortunately, passed away on our approach to Poppy Adams’ base. He got killed when a landmine exploded,” he said, missing out the crucial detail that he took Eggsy’s place. Deep down he knew that she’d never forgive Eggsy for it, and that wasn’t fair on him. 

“I’m sorry, Ginger. I know the two of you had grown fond of one another since we came to the States. Eggsy and I will be raising a glass to him tonight. We’d love for you to join us,” he paused briefly, gauging her reaction, then continued on, “I think he’d like that, too,” Harry said.

Ginger nodded slowly, a single tear trailing down her cheek.

“Thank you. I think I’ll take you up on that,” she said.

The three agents headed out that evening, an array of monitors and life support machines all hooked up to Jack. There was already a rota in place with a team of staff being in the lab 24/7, so Ginger didn’t have to worry about him being alone, in case anything happened while she was out. What he had done was unforgivable, but at the end of the day they had worked together for so long, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t care about him.

Weeks went by, and with Jack showing no sign of life, Champ made the executive decision to take Clara on board as the new agent Whiskey. He’d lost his moniker, and may never find out. Clara adopted the new alias, but it would take a while for everyone to adjust to the change.

Even though her role as Whiskey now had her out into the field more, finally doing what she wanted, what she had told Merlin she dreamt of doing, she couldn’t quite leave the labs behind just yet. They were Clara’s labs, no matter what moniker she had, or what her new role required of her. The assistants and other technicians wondered if she might be able to leave them behind if he weren’t there, lying in wait for life to come back to him.

Clara carried a lot of guilt since his accident. He was in such a hurry to get in the Silver Pony that she didn’t even think to check that his signature Stetson had been refilled after Eggsy used the alpha gel in Italy. Every time she saw his lifeless body in the lab’s bed, still peacefully sleeping, a pang of guilt ran through her.

Months went on, and over time it got easier to accept what had happened. Jack did wrong, at the end of the day. The Kingsman agents only acted how they needed to in the situation, and for as brutal as the outcome was, she could understand that. It was all in the past now, and she just hoped that he’d be able to forgive everyone involved if he ever woke up. Although, she figured he would probably have to forgive himself first.

Clocking out for an evening, Clara said her goodbyes to Jack. It was a habit she’d gotten into, and as he healed over time and started to look more like himself again, it became a little easier to not grimace every time she looked at him. She’d even been able to bring herself to keep him clean shaven, except for his signature moustache. His hair had grown longer, more grey and curly as the months went by, but she didn’t quite trust herself with his hair. 

But for as much as she hoped and prayed that one day he’d be back with everyone, she knew the chances were slim. Especially after all this time. It was now just a waiting game to see when they’d ultimately pull the plug on the former agent, releasing him into the goodnight forever. 

Until one night, when her emergency phone line rang.

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Next Chapter (Into The Ether) ->

[whimsicalgoose]

mfw when I finally open up ao3 to a longtime favorite series of mine (kingsman) and find that people are shipping eggsy and harry (possibly the most found family dynamic to ever found family)

[congressoutofwedlock]

“You sure you’re alright being back on your feet?” Eggsy quirked a brow as he hopped from foot to foot, knuckles wrapped in boxing tape whilst Hamish worked on affixing his own. “Is three weeks enough for that uh…”

“SON-0,” Hamish finished for him as he flexed his fingers in the wrappings, eyes half-lidded whilst he inspected the shift of his tendons beneath the fabric. “Synthetic Ocular Nanotechnology. Harry thought of it as an ironic naming play on ‘salvation.’”

At Any Cost, Chapter 2

[demonicconsultingwhovian]

i'm looking for a very specific fic that i forgot to save. it was like a harry hart backstory where he earnt a degree or smth by living with an emotionally manipulative professor when he was younger and then he tells eggsy about it all and he runs into the professor when he is an adult.

[pineau-noir]

Is there a hartwin or kingsman server? I need to talk about my newest obsession omg

[artknifeandglue]

in pursuit of you (the sound of time tick-tocking away): DVD extras

Did you read in pursuit of you (the sound of time tick-tocking away) on AO3? Did you enjoy it? Did you wonder about some things that were mentioned, or did a passing comment alluding to history/mythology/etc make you laugh?

Here are all the bits of lore/worldbuilding/character backstory that didn't make it into the fic!

The Immortal Cast, in General

Immortals like Eggsy and Roxy never age and can't die of natural causes (sickness, old age, etc), but they can be killed. As of the time of the story, there are ten existing immortals. One surfaces every century or so for reasons no one can explain, though they both Merlin and Morgana suspect it has something to do with a human being born in the right place (concentration of magical power) at the right time (alignment of the stars, etc).

Despite having potentially magical origins, most immortals aren't capable of magic, and the few in history that could wield magic were never on the same power level as Merlin and Morgana. They also died pretty fast for various reasons. This means that while Merlin and Morgana are technically immortals too, the other immortals consider them to be higher beings and have a healthy respect for them (and also quite a bit of fear, especially of Morgana).

Most of the immortals opt to keep a low profile and either live modestly or stay out of sight and influence things from a distance. Once word gets out that they're immortal, people tend to try and kill them; doubly so for anyone rich/powerful/highly visible, because humans throughout history regularly try and kill those people anyway.

Charlie is the only exception to the above rule, but that's because he promised Morgana his loyalty in exchange for wealth and power and her protection. This happened some time in the eighth century.

Roxy's involvement with the House of Habsburg began shortly before the reign of Maximilian I.

Merlin takes care of the immortals (except Charlie, he's Morgana's property and Merlin can't+won't touch anything of hers), but he has two favourites: Roxy, because she's the most capable of the lot, and Eggsy, whose mission and dedication Merlin respects even if it means he has to go get Eggsy out of trouble every now and then. Also, both of them bring him gifts when they visit.

That time Merlin had to bail Eggsy out of prison? It was 1789, and Eggsy was in the Bastille. Merlin's assistance in getting Eggsy out of prison and out of France are how Eggsy narrowly avoided the French Revolution and everything that followed after.

Merlin and Morgana

Yes, they've been rivals forever. An important note: Morgana isn't evil in the conventional sense of the word, she just isn't particularly attached to humanity and is very willing to trade human lives for her own gain. Merlin generally wants to help and protect the humans, but as the humans got more adept at killing each other in large numbers, he's had to become more practical about the whole thing and make trade-offs to maximise the preservation of greater numbers of lives.

Morgana's reputation as a dark witch comes about because of her willingness to tap into dark magic and her familiarity with it, but it's more a question of specialisation and frequency than one of absolutes. Merlin can and will use dark magic if the need arises, but he will hesitate if there's some sort of human cost to it; Morgana has no qualms using it if it'll benefit her, which is pretty often.

They both had pet cities in which they encouraged the humans to develop! There were a lot of them, but London was one of Merlin's and Edo was Morgana's. For the longest time, they were both territorial over those cities - stepping into the other's city or interfering with it would start a fight. Most of those clashes started with one of two things: Merlin trying to stop Morgana from doing something to the human population somewhere by wading into/sending his minions into her cities, or Morgana trying to provoke Merlin by doing the same things to his cities and causing problems.

Merlin started the Great Fire of Meireki in Edo unintentionally while defending himself from a very angry Morgana, whose cursed kimono featured in this story is taken from the legend of the actual fire. He did succeed in destroying it, but the resulting fire burnt down two-thirds of the city. Morgana very intentionally started the Great Fire of London in retaliation.

Merlin and Morgana do eventually reach a ceasefire agreement in which they no longer jealously guard their cities from each other (open borders! No more territories!), and Morgana agrees not to interfere in global politics in exchange for Merlin leaving her and her cursed artifacts alone. He still keeps track of them and what they're doing, but they result in minor casualties and small-scale losses at best, so he lets them go in exchange for the greater good of not levelling huge cities with hundreds of thousands of people in them.

What brings this wonderful ceasefire about? World Wars I and II.

What were Merlin and Morgana doing in World Wars I and II?

Both World Wars are entirely human-driven - neither Merlin nor Morgana were part of its beginnings, though Merlin does initially suspect Morgana's involvement in the assassination and the July Crisis. He discovers otherwise when he storms up to her lair to pick a fight.

The Great War, as it was known at the time, had such a high casualty count and was horrific enough that Morgana was unnerved by it. She didn't interfere in the war (Merlin was desperately trying to end the conflict the whole time), but watching from the sidelines did influence her decisions down the line.

Kingsman exists in part because Merlin helped found it! It retains its canon origins of a bunch of rich men losing their sons and committing to protecting the world, but Merlin's involvement stems from the fact that wars are getting too big for him to end directly and having an intelligence agency like Kingsman allows him to at least do something about the way the humans fight their wars (or stop them from being fought so fewer people die). It's the humans' idea and they're the ones to get it working, but he helps pave the way for them a little bit and then gets himself in the door.

Merlin did not pick the Arthurian mythology theme for all the Kingsman agents' codenames. The humans did, and he just quietly suffered without actually objecting because you know what, it's fine, it's their project after all.

World War II breaks out, and this time Morgana hears of the millions of people dying (even more than The Great War) and decides that a massive drop-off in the human population is Extremely Bad For Business. She reaches out to Merlin around 1942, but even with their combined efforts, the war doesn't end until 1945.

What was Eggsy doing in World Wars I and II?

World War I: His soulmate who died in 1911 still hadn't been found by the time the war broke out. On Merlin's orders, he (and all the other immortals) hunkered down and went into hiding for the four years it took the war to blow over. Eggsy then found his soulmate in 1930, aged 19.

World War II: Eggsy's soulmate gets conscripted and deployed to the North African campaign, making Eggsy the only immortal to dive into an active warzone. Merlin is Not Pleased about having to run additional interference (on top of trying to end the war!) to make sure Eggsy and his darling both don't get shot, blown up, or killed. (He does so anyway because he has a lil soft spot for Eggsy, his favourite little troublemaker.)

Knights of the Ground Table: The current day

Eggsy's apartment in Kennington is a short walk from The Black Prince.

Merlin tinkers with technology every now and then, but it doesn't always go well - he's found that magic tends to short out larger electrical appliances or make them not function very well. It works fine in smaller devices like smartphones and tablets.

Harry is actually a trained tailor, but more for the purposes of cover and plausible deniability than for any actual work.

Harry does make the first move because 1) he's not exactly a shrinking violet in canon, and so he isn't here either 2) man is a spy! He does pick up on Eggsy being hopelessly in love with him, so there's reciprocated interest.

Merlin has a similar attitude towards Harry Hart as he does towards Eggsy, which is that he does like them but will endlessly complain about them. Also, he cannot believe that the most irritating immortal he knows and the most irritating mortal he knows are somehow an item.

Harry gets on Merlin's nerves on purpose. Always has, always will, and continues to do so even after he learns of Merlin's magical might. This man is a spy and has fully accepted death as an occupational hazard, and really, what's Merlin going to do? Kill him?

By a combination of insanely good luck and skill, Harry lives to the age of ninety-four. :)

Thanks for reading!

[tickle-bugs]

The Ol' Kentucky Welcome

Summary: Eggsy’s attitude gets him into trouble at Statesman HQ. Whiskey and Tequila show him how they handle mouthy recruits with too much pride.

Anon: Hey!  Love your work.  I was trying to think of something I haven't read.  So, kingsman and golden circle.  Maybe eggsy, whiskey, and Tatum s characters get real drunk one night, start teasing each other and a full out brawl of a tickle fight happens!!!  You can do it!!!  Thanks! 

Loose handwaving at and spoilers for Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

Becoming a Kingsman had done wonders for Eggsy’s impulse control and sense of self. He’s got restraint now, and better judgement—he doesn’t blindly chase a whim without considering the consequences first. 

This is what he tells himself as he poaches a bottle of premium Statesman Reserve whiskey from a supply closet rather ominously labeled ‘This Ain’t For Sharing, Friend’. He makes sure to shuffle the bottles to disguise the large gap left behind on the shelf.

He settles in at the Statesman briefing room table, loosening his tie and shirt collar. He unbuttons his jacket and, in a rare flash of bad manners, kicks his feet up onto one of the nearby chairs.

The thought of Harry scolding him for it tugs at chest. 

“Now what do we have here?” Whiskey whistles lowly, ducking into the doorway. Tequila fits in beside him. Eggsy gives a mocking salute before popping the cork on the bottle. He grabs a polished crystal glass from a platter on the table and pours himself a hefty bit. 

“Looks to me like we’ve got a thief, Whiskey.” Tequila arches his brow. “Y’ain’t learned your lesson yet, Galahad?”

“Gentlemen.” Eggsy smirks and lifts his glass. The sharp kiss of the liquor burns his tongue, but it washes back with a smoky smoothness unlike anything he'd ever tried. He smacks his lips loudly, enjoying the slight twitch of Whiskey’s eyebrow in response.

“Thought you fancy-types were supposed to be polite.” Whiskey puts his hands on his hips. 

“And I thought you brutish types couldn’t make something so delicious.” Eggsy angles the glass in the light. The liquid seems to glow. 

Tequila ducks past Whiskey and takes a seat at the table, helping himself to a glass. He clinks glasses with Eggsy and they share another sip. Both of them sigh in unison, sinking deeper into their chairs. Whiskey throws Eggsy’s feet off his chair and takes a seat. 

“You’re lucky I ain’t reportin’ you to Ginger Ale for theft.” Whiskey fixes himself a glass. He takes off his hat and rests it on the table. He shrugs off his jacket, draping it over the back of the chair.

“Report me for what?” Eggsy cocks his head. “You fine, upstanding gentlemen cracked open a bottle of your own reserve to share with your guest and I just had to say yes. Would hate to be impolite.”

Whiskey glares. Eggsy sips innocently. 

“I like this motherfucker, Whiskey.” Tequila laughs, muffling himself in his fist. Whiskey shifts his glare. 

“‘Course you do. You can’t keep your mug outta trouble to save your life.” 

“Least my mug ain’t ugly,” Tequila grumbles. Eggsy snorts. Whiskey turns to fish for a pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket. As he leans forward, a silver shine peeks out of his pants pocket. Eggsy gently plucks a shiny lighter from Whiskey’s pocket and tucks it into his own. 

“Champagne mentioned you’re a cheeky bugger.” Eggsy knocks shoulders with Tequila and winks.

“I dunno what that means.” Tequila frowns. They both watch Whiskey fumble around for the lost lighter and keep smooth, straight expressions. 

“You get into shit. He’s fond of you?” Eggsy gestures at him. Tequila nods. 

“Yeah, well…he wasn’t always. I’ve always been a bit of a firecracker. Didn’t make the best choices. Got people hurt. Built up a reputation for bein’ a problem, and Champagne started makin’ me own it.” Tequila watches his whiskey swirl in his glass. Eggsy hums thoughtfully.

“Sounds like Harry. He didn’t let me get away with shit. If I did something reckless, it was my arse on the line. But sometimes it paid off.” Eggsy smiles and thinks of stealing Harry’s cab on his way out of initiation. 

“To good mentors.” Tequila inclines his head respectfully and raises his glass. Eggsy clinks their glasses together. 

The three of them pass the time draining the bottle and looking out over the twinkling lights of the distillery buildings. A boyish mischief settles into Tequila, one that grows as the liquor in the bottle sinks. Whiskey starts to slur his words, but he maintains a hunter’s focus. 

“Tell me somethin’, Eggsy. What brought you to Kingsman?” Whiskey watches him over the rim of his glass. His stare is piercing. 

“Hm. Harry did. Not so different from Tequila, I reckon. I’d made a right fuckin’ mess and Harry saved me from it. Gave me a job. He saw something in me that no one else did.” Eggsy traces his fingers along the edge of his cup. He glances absently towards Harry’s cell and sighs quickly. Whiskey follows his gaze. 

“Did your lepidopterist friend teach you to have sticky fingers, or do you just like causin’ problems?” Whiskey holds his hand out. Eggsy rolls his eyes and hands over the stolen lighter.

“I’ve always been good at nicking things. S’fun.” Eggsy grins and produces Whiskey’s wallet. Whiskey grumbles under his breath and snatches it. 

“Feels like you’re the only one of your people that ain’t all hoity-toity. What other secrets are you hiding?” Tequila leans forward. The question grates against Eggsy’s better instincts. He searches Tequila’s face for the slightest bit of ill will. All that sticks is the way light catches softly on his eyes. Eggsy hums and turns his eyes to the ceiling to think.

“Well, my girlfriend bein’ a princess isn’t much of a secret anymore, so…I was a gymnast for a bit.” Eggsy grins. Tequila’s eyes light up and he starts snapping in Whiskey’s direction. For each snap, Whiskey gives a disgruntled hm until eventually they’re just swatting at each other. 

“Whiskey, don’t we have them flippy bars down in the gym?” Tequila sniffs, blinking as the liquor hits his sinuses. Eggsy perks up. A spark of excitement picks up atop the warm flush of liquor in his stomach. 

“We do. For Statesman agents. Y’know Rum and Cognac get real touchy ‘bout their stuff.” Whiskey raises an eyebrow.

“Well, we’re workin’ together now, ain’t we? ‘Sides, Rum and Cognac ain’t here. Let’s walk him down there. I wanna see what he can do.” Tequila claps Eggsy on the shoulder. Eggsy gives his best winning smile. Whiskey grumbles, then downs the rest of his glass. 

“Fuck it. Fine. Five minutes.” 

…

They stumble down to the Statesman training facility, passing by a very tired Ginger Ale who opts not to ask why Eggsy’s wearing Tequila’s hat (pretty simple, it’s ‘cause he nicked it). Whiskey puts his thumb to a scanner and the wall unfolds for them. 

The lights click on in rows, lighting the industrial space. Eggsy gasps like a kid on Christmas morning. 

Sophisticated weight training and combat equipment sit in neat rows. Eggsy locks in directly past that, drifting unconsciously towards a heaping pile of chalk bags. Pommel horses, beams, bars, and hanging rings sprawl out on a spring mat, all in pristine condition. A few launchpads and trampolines lay near the equipment. Eggsy laughs incredulously as he takes it in. Nostalgia flutters in his chest. 

Eggsy immediately unbuttons his shirt, folding it cleanly and crisply. He shoves it and the cowboy hat into Tequila’s arms, adjusts his tank top, then works to unlace his shoes. The moment his feet are free, he sprints for one of the springboards. He hits it clean, just like he’d learned, and pushes off the vault, twisting through the air. His landing is a bit messy, but it’s functional, and he takes off to the parallel bars next.

The alcohol writhes in his system, but he doesn’t care. How can he? It’s been years. Coach’d told him he was good enough for the fucking Olympics and he hadn’t touched a set of bars since. The flex of the bars is a comfort to him. He flips and twirls, holding crisp handstands and tucks through muscle memory alone.

He dismounts beautifully from the parallel bars to the pleasant thrum of adrenaline and a smattering of applause. 

“Hoowee, that was somethin’!” Tequila ruffles Eggsy’s hair, destroying the last hold of the gel on his head. Eggsy laughs and swats him away. 

“Hats off to you, kid. Takes a lot of skill to pull that off.” Whiskey nods in respect. Eggsy returns it. 

“I ain’t gonna lie, I thought you were gonna fall on your ass. I’m impressed.” Tequila slugs his shoulder with a brassy laugh. 

“Thanks, Tequila.” Eggsy grins roguishly. “Mind givin’ me a boost?” 

“Sure.” Tequila follows Eggsy over to the high bar. Whiskey loudly clears his throat. 

“Boys, this has been…eye-openin’, but we really should get goin’. Early start tomorrow, I imagine. And this one’ll be fit to collapse when the time difference catches up.” Whiskey inclines his head towards Eggsy. 

“Sorry, bruv? Can’t hear you all the way over there.” Eggsy gestures to his ear with a cheeky grin. 

“I said—“

“No, no. If you have something to say, come whisper it in my fucking ear.” Eggsy snickers, hearing Merlin’s voice in his head. Whiskey rolls his eyes and saunters over. 

“Look, I respect you ‘cause Champagne respects you. Other than that, you’re still a brat that oughta fall into line. Let’s turn in for the night. Both of you.” Whiskey raises his eyebrow. The honey tones of his voice make his annoyance all the more amusing. 

“What’re you gonna do about it? Get me with your skipping rope?” Eggsy smirks. Tequila mutters a quiet aw hell and takes a step back. 

“Maybe I will, you little shit.” 

Eggsy comes to terms with a number of things about himself in that moment, and he puts them all away to process sober. Instead, he gestures for Tequila to give him a hand and reaches up for the bar. 

Tequila picks him up by the waist, and it’s not the smooth, assisted lift he’s used to. It’s the clumsy grip of a drunk surprised by weight. Tequila does lift Eggsy up to the bar, but at the cost of his dignity— he spasms and makes a high-pitched noise when Tequila’s fingers press into his waist.  

In hindsight, he should’ve seen the way Whiskey’s eyes narrowed at that. 

“What the hell was that?” Tequila squints up at him. 

“Nothin’. Thought you were gonna drop me. Bugger off.” Eggsy kicks weakly in Tequila’s direction. He backs up, hands raised. Whiskey steps in, hands on his belt. 

“Get off the bar, Eggsy.” Whiskey sniffs authoritatively. The logical Kingsman agent buried in Eggsy’s brain sets off warning bells, but Drunk Eggsy, who is obviously of much sounder mind, ignores it. 

“Make me, Whiskey.” Eggsy starts to swing in the space he has. Not enough to kick anyone, but enough to look like he will. He manages to rotate clumsily around the bar once, then hangs back down in front of Whiskey. 

“You want me to embarrass you in front of your new friend? Okay.” Whiskey steps up to Eggsy and makes a show of sizing him up. Then, quicker than the draw of his pistols, his hands latch onto Eggsy’s sides and squeeze until he’s screaming and plummeting off the bar. Eggsy’s short life flashes before his eyes as he falls bodily into Tequila’s arms. 

“Are you fucking mental?” Eggsy goes to shove Whiskey, but Tequila holds him back. 

“Woah, watch that mouth of yours!” Whiskey laughs, eyes glittering. “You told me to make you. Your wish is my command, friend.”

Eggsy kicks, trying to break Tequila's hold, and he catches Whiskey right in the balls. He makes a noise like a wounded donkey and folds over. Eggsy snickers. Whiskey whips his reddening face up and glares. 

“Now you’ve done it. Tequila!” Whiskey tosses something his way and he catches it. Eggsy barely has time to react before his arms are bound and hoisted in the air above his head. His toes brush the ground. The bar above him creaks in protest but does not give. 

Whiskey puts his hands on his hips again. Eggsy wonders if that’s a cowboy thing or an American one. 

“Skippin’ rope, bitch.” Whiskey grins, sharklike. “Now…you done with the whole insubordination routine or am I gonna have to give you the ol’ Kentucky Welcome?” 

Eggsy snorts derisively. He tests his bindings. They hold steady. Fear starts to pierce through his liquid courage. 

“I’m honored, bruv, but I’m in a committed relationship—“

Whiskey clicks his tongue and crowds into Eggsy’s space. He immediately steels himself for violence—what else would there be besides violence? He’s been jumped before. He’s no stranger to the predatory tilt of Whiskey’s head. He sets his jaw and glares. 

“When Tequila first joined up, he carried a bit of them clownin’ instincts with him. That didn’t fly with Champagne. We had to figure out a way to take him down a few pegs without hurtin’ him. So, the Kentucky Welcome was born.” 

“Aw, fuck you, Whiskey. Seriously, man.” Tequila pipes up from behind Eggsy. 

“What does this have to do with me? I know you Americans love to hear yourself talk, but I’m not interested.” Eggsy tries to pull free. Nothing. Whiskey’s gaze gets softer, more mischievous. The change is deeply unnerving. 

“Well, you remind me of Tequila. You’ve clearly got a good head on your shoulders, but you’re a little shit. So I’m gonna deal with you the same way we used to deal with him. Last chance, kid. You comin’ quietly or are we gonna have to drag you?” 

Eggsy flinches when Whiskey reaches for him—years of habit die hard—and prepares himself for the hard crunch of knuckles into his ribs. Instead, he’s met with a gentle and persistent scritching. 

A confused noise bubbles up at the back of Eggsy’s throat, quickly chased by a wobbly smile. He ducks his head and bites his lip. 

Oh what the fuck? 

Kingsman had taught him to resist the most painful and stressful of scenarios, but they’d never taught him what to do about this. Tilde’s maybe the only person who knows that he’s ticklish, and even then…he can convince her to let him go by kissing her senseless. Eggsy doubts that’ll work here. 

“Uh oh, Galahad. Don’t tell me something’s botherin’ you?” Whiskey presses an insincere hand to his heart. Eggsy’s brain stutters for a moment as he realizes that Tequila’s the one scratching at his ribs. 

“Fffffuck you.” Eggsy exhales sharply through his nose and closes his eyes--nope, that’s worse. So much worse. 

Whiskey tickles under his arms and Eggsy yelps, bright laughter tumbling after. It shouldn’t be this bad—Tilde’s done far worse to him in jest, but somehow the teasing grin of his begrudging allies gets under his skin. His arms flex as he tries to pull himself up and away, but his strength collapses with every breath. 

“Aw, y’all are twins.” Whiskey leans around Eggsy to smirk at Tequila. 

“Whiskey.” Tequila’s languished tone being hilarious really doesn’t help things. Eggsy’s entire face scrunches as he tries to find his way back towards composure. A hiccup sneaks into his chest, and then he’s giggling incessantly. His chest feels like the sparklers he’d run around with as a kid, bright and fizzling and dissolving with every breath. 

“Y’know, I wish I had tried this when I first caught y’all. Prolly woulda gone a hell of a lot faster.” Tequila’s voice floats past Eggsy’s ear. Eggsy manages a giggly growl and a halfhearted headbutt in his direction. Tequila tuts at him and folds his fingers into Eggsy’s waistline. 

He makes a noise at a pitch that threatens to shatter every lightbulb in the room. Tequila’s calloused fingers strum Eggsy’s nerves like guitar strings and it tickles, fucking shit—

Tequila hooks his fingers just so and Eggsy kicks. Whiskey snags his ankle before a second devastating impact can occur. They make tortuous eye contact. 

“Whiskey—“ Eggsy attempts to appeal to the cowboy’s humanity with what Merlin fondly calls his nuclear puppy eyes. 

Grinning wickedly, Whiskey shakes his head and reaches for his trapped foot. 

Eggsy’s eyes bug out of his head. 

He wrenches his leg free, twists his hands, and flips upwards. Managing a gold-worthy handstand into a dismount, he frees his wrists and lands smoothly. Eggsy playfully curtsies. Tequila starts to clap. Whiskey smacks him upside the head.

“Alright, I’m done playin’ around. Grab him. If we’re caught down here at this hour it’ll be my hide.” Whiskey gestures for Tequila to step in. He does so, still a little off-kilter from the liquor. 

Eggsy rushes in, expecting a clumsier rendition of the fighting style he’d been so painfully introduced to. Instead, Tequila smoothly blocks his blows and hoists Eggsy over his shoulder like a sack of fucking potatoes. One of his arms locks behind Eggsy’s thighs as they start to walk for the door. It takes him a moment to even process being upside-down. The sway of Tequila’s gait shakes some blood into his brain.

“Aw, y’all are twins.”

“—deal with you the same way we used to deal with him—“

A lightbulb clicks on in Eggsy’s head. He shouldn’t…but he could…but he shouldn’t—

He shoves his hands under Tequila’s arms. Before he can blink or breathe, they’re in a heap on the ground. Tequila’s cackling dead weight presses the air from Eggsy’s chest.

“Thought you’d put up more of a fight, bruv.” Eggsy’s eyebrows raise. Tequila shrieks at him in response. Eggsy manages to wiggle free and hop lightly to his feet as Tequila gathers his wits. 

“There’s one of you and two of us. Be wise.” Whiskey cracks his neck. Eggsy looks over at Tequila and smirks devilishly. Tequila pales. 

“I like those odds.” 

The flurry of motion as they charge each other sets off the ‘fight’ center in his brain, but there is some comfort in knowing no harm is on the table. Eggsy flips and twists out of their grasp, taking advantage of his flexibility to pull off increasingly ridiculous dodges. He neatly sweeps both Whiskey and Tequila’s legs out from under them. 

“Little help?” Whiskey gestures lamely at Tequila. 

“Nah, I’m done. Y’all are nuts.” Tequila lays on his back, putting his hat down over his face. He folds his arms behind his head. Whiskey curses at him. Tequila gives him the finger. 

Whiskey grabs Eggsy by the back of the shirt--really, he should know better--and Eggsy sweeps him again. Whiskey’s ready for it this time, though, and he manages a pin faster than Eggsy can roll away. Whiskey plants himself on Eggsy’s back like he’s settling on a bull. 

“Aren’t you tired? Goddamn.” Whiskey sighs. Eggsy winces at the texture of the mat against his cheek. 

It reminds him of Roxy and agonizing training sessions, of hours of sweat and bruising and his face stinging from being slammed into the mat. Even past the wave of grief, he remembers the shape of her smile when she would lecture him about letting her pin him on his stomach. 

“Indefensible,” she’d say, prodding the back of his ribs. “You’re a sitting duck like this.”

And every time he’d roll his eyes, hooking his fingers behind her knees--

Oh. Hm. 

As best as he can, he reaches back and latches onto Whiskey’s thigh, squeezing just above his knee. Whiskey hollers and tries to phase right through the floor. Eggsy rolls them over and pursues, squeezing and squeezing until Whiskey is a wheezing pile on the floor. 

Eggsy flips onto his feet. He knows he’s imagining the fond, ghostly squeeze on his shoulder, but he puts his hand on the spot anyways. 

“Now I’m tired. Goodnight, fellas.” Eggsy salutes with a wide grin, stepping over both cowboys. He gathers his belongings and saunters for the door, whistling pleasantly. 

Whiskey rubs a hand over his face as he stares up at the ceiling.

“Kid’s fuckin’ lucky I like him,” Whiskey grumbles, pushing himself up onto his elbows. 

“Might not wanna speak too soon. He took your hat.” Tequila puts his own ten-gallon back on his head and gestures towards the door with a whistle. Whiskey growls and shoots to his feet. 

“Motherfucker! Eggsy!”

[phreakology]

Hey!

This is kinda my last option because i have not been able to find this fic and have dug through my entire history and saved fics.

Tumblr, you're my last hope 🤦‍♀️

I am looking for a kingsman fic. In it, Eggsy is able to talk to animals or hear them mentally or something and when he's a kid it freaks his mom out. If I remember right he crashes the car because the fox was just out looking for food for her kits

In training he goes after Charlie because Charlie hit his dog to train it and Eggsy tells Merlin that he can train both his puppy and Charlie's. He keeps both dogs and I think he makes Harry take one of them to Kentucky with him. I also seem to remember Eggsy like possessing a racoon or something to help Harry during the church scene.

I know this sounds like some fever dream but I promise it's not. If anyone knows this fic or where to find it or any information, please I'm begging, let me know. This has wormed into my brain and I've not had any peace from it for like 3 weeks. I would dearly love to reread this fic as it's one of my favorites!

Thank you!❤️

[brinleyparke]

Kingsman Fic Ideas/Prompts

Merwin, Perciwin, Hartwin, or Gen: Charlie gets kicked out or at least punished for the water prank.

Parachute test fix-it (Merwin or Gen): Perhaps Merlin takes a minute to understand why Eggsy has said chip on his shoulder

What if Eggsy and Charlie were the last two in the parachute test?

"Manners maketh man. You'd do well to remember that Mr. Hesketh." Or Harry is none too pleased when he finds out how Charlie has been treating Eggsy. (Can be Hartwin or Harry can be more of a father figure in this)

What if Charlie had passed the loyalty test?

Harry lets Eggsy teach Dean a lesson after Eggsy fails the final test and comes home and finds out that Dean hit his mom.

Post-TGC: (Merwin or Gen) Merlin lives, but Eggsy still feels guilty. He's also angry because Merlin sacrificed himself to repay Eggsy's father, not because of Eggsy himself, which parallels Harry saying, "Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him?" in the first Kingsman film.

AU - Canon Divergence, Enemy of My Enemy: Eggsy doesn't kill Charlie. Eggsy and Charlie have to team up against a villain, not necessarily Poppy.

When Eggsy is 12-14 years old, Dean nearly beats him to death, and Eggsy ends up in the hospital. Michelle calls the number on the back of the medal. Harry is given custody of Eggsy but keeps Eggsy's name as Unwin because he feels like Lee deserves to live on through Eggsy.

Merwin or Gen: Daisy asks Merlin to dress up as Gru for Halloween so that her and Eggsy can be minions.

H/C after train track test

Maybe Eggsy is upset that he was drugged.

Maybe Eggsy has been drugged before, so he has a panic attack or a nightmare after the train test.

Maybe Eggsy is still freaked out a little because he thought he was gonna die.

Eggsy gets de-aged to 4 years old (mind and body). Harry takes care of him until they can turn him back. (GEN FIC) Based on this fanart:

Eggsy gets de-aged to 4 years old (mind and body). Merlin takes care of him until they can turn him back. (GEN FIC) Based on this fanart:

Eggsy gets de-aged to 4 years old (mind and body). Harry and Merlin take care of him until they can turn him back. (GEN or Merlahad FIC)

Eggsy gets de-aged to 4 years old (mind and body). The agents of Kingsman take turns taking care of him until they can turn him back. (GEN or Merlahad or Harry/Percival FIC)

Harry apologizes to Eggsy for what he said and the assumptions he made in the Black Prince.

Tilde tells her parents about Eggsy.

Merwin or Gen: After the toast to Merlin, Eggsy leaves the room (maybe he goes to the bathroom or something) and breaks down. Harry or Tequila or Ginger Ale comforts him.

Tilde meeting Daisy and Eggsy's mother for the first time.

Post-TGC: Eggsy has nightmares about Merlin and almost losing Tilde, and Tilde comforts him.

During training, Eggsy has nightmares about Dean.

After Merlin's "most dangerous job interview" speech, Harry explains the bruises on Eggsy's cheek and neck.

After the water test, all of the recruits receive physicals. Eggsy doesn't have much medical history because Jamal treated most of his injuries. The doctor and/or Merlin are concerned about the scars and/or broken bones or bone fractures that didn't heal properly.

"When was the last time you ate?" Or Eggsy's first meal at Kingsman. He's not particularly gross or rude about eating; he just eats very fast. Roxy or Merlin is concerned. In other words, Eggsy has food insecurity issues.

"What's his story?" Or during or after TGC: Ginger Ale or Champ is curious about Eggsy, and ask Harry what Eggsy's story is. Or maybe they ask Eggsy himself

Songfic based on "Waiting For Superman" by Daughtry about Michelle waiting for Lee to come back home even after Harry told her he was dead.

Songfic based on "Save Me" by Jelly Roll

Songfic based on "How to Save a Life" by The Fray

Eggsy meets Merlin's nephew, who is fancast as Richard Madden. They hit it off pretty well. (You can make up the name of Merlin's nephew.)

Merwin: Eggsy and Daisy convince Merlin to watch Brave with them.

Eggsy dresses up as Robin Hood for Halloween. 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵

Arrow x-over: Kingsman needs the Green Arrow's help.

Reacher (TV) x-over: Tequila tries to recruit Reacher.

Reacher (TV) x-over: Dixon or Neagley is recruited to Statesman to be the new Ginger-Ale

Supernatural x-over: While doing recon on what Kingsman believed to be a Satanistic cult, but is actually a coven, Eggsy gets de-aged to 4 years old (mind and body). Harry (or Merlin or Harry and Merlin or all of Kingsman) takes care of him until they can turn him back. Harry or Merlin knows someone in the British Men of Letters and makes some calls to get help reversing the spell. (GEN or Merlahad FIC)

Constantine (Arrowverse) x-over: While doing recon on what Kingsman believed to be a Satanistic cult, but is actually a coven, Eggsy gets de-aged to 4 years old (mind and body). Harry (or Merlin or Harry and Merlin or all of Kingsman) takes care of him until they can turn him back. Someone at Kingsman knows John Constantine and gets in contact with him to ask for his help. (GEN or Merlahad FIC)

[shadows-of-a-memory]

only a bruise (to keep the cycle going) - e.u.

trigger warning: mentioned off-screen domestic abuse gary "eggsy" unwin masterlist

Eggsy is tired. He's just gotten back from a mission, he's sore, he feels disgusting even after showering on the jet, and he just wants to cuddle with JB and take a nap.

But he made a commitment to meet you at the pub today, before he was assigned this emergency meeting, and no matter how worn he is, he's going to maintain it.

[elletromil]

Sometimes, I write stuff

Based on this answer for @solrosan ask

@lottelorelei you migjt be interested in this too

Blue Dragons

They hear it coming first.

Not that they would know how to recognize the sounds of immense wings flapping into the night sky.

They feel the wind next. See the trees leaning to one side, as if trying to escape from a terrible storm.

More sound, as weaker branches start to crack under the assault of the strong winds.

Then, they see it.

Or rather, they see many a star all at once being obscured by that huge mass speeding in the village direction.

It is far too late to flee when the glow of the torches finally catches golden scales.

The ground shake under their feet when the Golden Dragon lands at the village's walls.

The walls had always seemed so tall to Eggsy, even after he was no longer a child trying to climb over them to go explore the world, unheeding of his mother's cries that he would break his neck. He never did, but he also never managed to scale the stones all the way over to the top until he was much older and much more experimented.

Next to the looming Golden Dragon, they seem puny. Inconsequential.

For the first time in his life, Eggsy is paralyzed with horror, his eyes riveted to the massive beast about to destroy their lives.

For the first time in his life, as the Golden Dragon cocks its head in his direction, Eggsy understand true despair.

None of their plans matter now. They never did.

It was pure hubris to think they could ever stand against Valentine.

Only a miracle could save them now.

And he's never believed in those.

[kingsmint]

HOLY SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED A HC I HAD TO SHARE BECAUSE IT CAME UP IN MY MIND ONE DAY AND IT DIDNT STOP BOTHERING ME.

Both Harry, Merlin and possibly any other agent must have had really close contact with explosions at one point right? Especially Harry because if I remember correctly, in the first movie, he was saved by a grenade in 1997, and then blown up by his own grenade while escaping the university and then the church scene, AND THEN in the golden circle where Merlin blew up. (i still refuse that merlin died so he’s alive and im being delusional shh). He could literally by hard of hearing, almost deaf, or have tinnitus.

Merlin as well but not a lot since he was just behind the desk, but when he exploded (and survived.) he most likely had some acoustic trauma as well.

EVEN EGGSY CAN YOU IMAGINE?? Even though bro was a field agent for a little while having done a few missions (evident in the golden circle when he pins his own newspaper articles on harry’s wall) being in the field often enough he would eventually also have acoustic trauma.

So literally almost everyone at kingsman wear hearing aids and has learned sign language and learning sign language has become mandatory for training ever since Harry began his reign as Arthur. Agents also had to get specially designed hearing aids from medical and R&D when it gets  b a d. Since the glasses also has a microphone implemented in them, Merlin upgraded them so that live translation/subtitles could appear. (it became extremely useful for missions but the microphone can only pick up so far, yknow?)

[to-proudly-go]

Sunday/Fic snip!

Thank you @spikybanana for the tag! It's technically Monday where I am but I'm still gonna post this one 😂

This is a Hartwin wip!!

----

In a rare moment of inelegance, Roxy flapped her arms up and down, exasperated at Eggsy’s sheer bullheadedness. “If you don’t call that being head over poison-tipped Oxfords for you then what else could it be?”

Eggsy, the lovable idiot, just shrugged. “Indigestion? Or maybe diarrhea, I think he had the runs this morning.”

Roxy stared at him for a long, hard moment. When Eggsy started to squirm underneath her gaze, she whipped her phone out of her coat, pressed a few buttons, and brought it up to her ear. “Merlin? Merlin, we have a problem. I can’t deal with this.”

The phone’s speaker crackled with a sigh. “Ah. It seems like we find ourselves in the same circumstances, Lancelot.”

“Harry too?”

“Yes.”

“Goddamnit.”

“Um, Rox? What--”

She snapped her hand up and raised her index finger threateningly. Eggsy shut his mouth.

Roxy sighed. “Alright, then. Should we proceed with Plan B?”

“I believe it would be wise. Will fifteen minutes be enough?”

“Let’s make it twenty to be sure.”

“Fine by me.”

Roxy ended the call. She sighed once more and pinched the bridge of her nose, sensing an incoming headache.

The headache shuffled close to her, unsure of his welcome after Roxy’s admonishment. Before he could utter another word, however, Roxy grabbed Eggsy’s sleeve and began herding him away (more like dragging, if you asked Eggsy, but he was currently spluttering as his best mate started herding him someplace.)

“Roxy! What the hell is going on—stop that, you’re wrinkling my suit!”

“Shut up and follow,” Roxy growled.

Eggsy wisely shut up and followed.

-------

“He thought that Eggsy was blushing because of indigestion, Roxy. Who blushes because of that?” Merlin groaned, thumb and index finger coming together to massage the aching area between his brows. Roxy could relate.

“Oh my God. Eggsy said the same thing.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore with these oblivious idiots.”

---

No pressure to do the game!! @tideswept @mischievouschan4

[whumpdoyoumean]

Whumptober #6

xxx do or die

Eggsy isn’t sure where it all went wrong, exactly, whether it was a single bad decision or a million smaller ones that led him to walking directly into a trap. What he does know is that he’s monumentally fucked up, and now he’s going to pay for it. Probably with his life. He’s spent the last several weeks searching for the person or persons responsible for a string of disappearances within the SIS.

Well, he found the bastard. 

Or rather, the bastard found him.

Eggsy hadn’t even had the chance to fight back before he’d been injected with something and then he woke up here, handcuffed to a chair in nothing but his briefs. Even his earpiece is gone. His captor is standing in front of him, picking at his fingernails with a wicked-looking knife. 

He’s wearing Eggsy’s glasses. 

“These aren’t even prescription,” the man says, tapping at a lens with his knife. “And knowing you super-spy types, I’m guessing they aren’t just for the aesthetics. Is there someone watching you then?”

Eggsy doesn’t answer, just grits his teeth. It takes an enormous amount of effort to keep the snarky comments at bay. The man smirks

“There is, isn’t there. I’ve got an audience for this one. Now, that’s interesting. Changes my timeline a bit, perhaps, but I can work with this…” He tucks the knife into a sheath at his hip and then reaches into the pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out brass knuckles. He makes a show of putting them on his right hand, admiring them for a second before looking up at Eggsy, clearly gauging for a reaction. 

Eggsy doesn’t give him one. 

The man smiles again, then moves forward so suddenly that Eggsy doesn’t have time to brace himself before he’s smashed in the face, his head snapping to the side, a gash instantly opening across his (probably broken) cheekbone. He doesn’t move for a moment, just blinks a few times as he waits for his head to clear. And then he lifts his head and looks directly at the man, ignoring the sharp pain in his cheek and the accompanying ache hammering through his skull.

The man smiles. 

“You’re a tough one. Tougher than I’d’ve guessed from your fancy suit. I think I’m going to enjoy this.”

xxx 

It’s rare that Merlin feels completely helpless. But right now, that’s exactly what he is. Eggsy had been taken suddenly, without the chance to even activate his distress signal. It’s only because of the captor’s carelessness that Merlin even has eyes on the young agent--he’d tripped the glasses when he put them on, leaving Merlin with a front row seat to his violence. Eggsy is being held underground, so drones are useless, and Roxy is the only agent anywhere close to where Eggsy’s been taken. 

All Merlin can do is watch, and hope that Roxy gets there before Eggsy is killed. 

The kid is tough. Merlin knows that, had known it before they’d even started training. He had to be, otherwise Harry would’ve never brought him in in the first place. Even bloody and half-conscious, defiance is openly visible on Eggsy’s face. He obviously knows how to take a beating. Not that that makes this any easier.

The man’s been working on Eggsy’s ribs for the past few minutes. Merlin can hear the small gasps as the wind is knocked from Eggsy’s lungs. Every few blows, the man lets him catch his breath before starting in again. He hasn’t asked any questions. He isn’t looking for information. Merlin doesn’t need to see the man’s face to know that he’s doing this for no other reason than that he enjoys it, the sick fuck. 

It makes Merlin feel sick to his stomach. And it makes him angry, a simmering rage that he feels throughout his whole body. His hands are clenched into tight fists, knuckles white.

“Still not a peep?” the man says, his voice a mixture of surprise and amusement and annoyance and, beneath it all, the barest hint of admiration. He holds his bloodied hands up and turns them slowly, getting a good look at them. 

And then he brings the brass knuckles down and Eggsy’s knee, hard, and this time Eggsy screams.

“Bastard!” Merlin yells at the monitor, his heart hammering.

His fingernails dig into his palms.

He doesn’t notice.

Eggsy is panting now, his chest rising in small, sporadic bursts, and Merlin knows he’s struggling to catch his breath while also trying to keep from breathing so deeply that it hurts his fractured ribs. He looks up at the man, and while Merlin knows that Eggsy is looking at his captor's eyes, it feels like he’s staring directly at Merlin. Into him. 

“Lancelot, where the fuck are you?” Merlin doesn’t even try to keep the urgency (bordering on panic) from his voice as he looks over at the monitor that has Roxy’s feed.

“I’m still four minutes out from the coordinates you sent me, I’m moving as fast as I can,” Roxy responds, and it’s obvious that she’s as distressed as he is. “Have you found anything on the kidnapper?”

“Nothing,” Merlin says. “Haven’t had a good look at his face and there’s been no luck with voice recognition. Bring him in alive if you can. But you do whatever you have to do to get Galahad out of there, is that understood?”

“Yes, sir. Understood.”

Merlin turns his full attention back to the screen in front of him and his blood runs cold. The man has traded out the brass knuckles for a knife. 

“No,” Merlin says aloud. He doesn’t know who he’s speaking to, but he says it again, leaning forward in his chair. “No!”

The man steps toward Eggsy and places his left hand on Eggsy’s shoulder, bringing the knife up to Eggsy’s face. Eggsy flinches away from the blade and the man laughs, drawing it down his cheek. A thin line of blood wells up behind it. Eggsy’s gaze flicks up to meet the man’s, and once again Merlin finds himself staring into his agent’s eyes. 

There’s something different in his expression this time, and Merlin isn’t sure exactly what it is, at first. And then he realizes. Eggsy is looking at him. 

“‘s’okay, Merlin,” he says, voice low.

“Merlin?” the man laughs. And then he plunges the knife into Eggsy’s side.

“No!” Merlin screams it now, grabbing the edges of the computer monitor. “Shit! Lancelot, get in there now!”

He’s barely gotten the words out of his mouth when the man turns, and suddenly Merlin is looking into Roxy’s face. 

“Where the fuck did you come from?” the man says, and then the picture cuts off and the screen goes black. 

xxx 

Roxy fires two more tranquilizer rounds into the man’s back before she’s on her knees, patting down his unconscious form until she finds the key to the handcuffs. 

“Lancelot, update!”

“The suspect is down, but alive, I’m pretty sure,” Roxy says as she hurries to Eggsy’s side.

“And Eggsy?”

Eggsy is in a bad way. His face is a mess, with several open cuts leaking blood that runs down his neck and his bare chest. There are angry red bruises forming along both sides of his ribcage, and his left knee is dark and swollen. Worst, though, is the stab wound in his belly, which is leaking blood at an alarming pace, a small puddle already forming on the floor beneath him. At first glance, it doesn’t seem like he should be alive. But Roxy can see the shallow, rapid rise-and-fall of Eggsy’s chest, can hear the short, labored breaths.

“He’s alive,” she says as she hurriedly undoes the handcuffs, willing her hands to be steady because now, more than ever, she needs them to be. “We need medevac.”

“They’re on their way with backup, just a few minutes behind you.”

“Good,” Roxy says, shrugging off her jacket and balling it up as best she can before pressing it against the wound. Eggsy stirs, letting out a weak cry, and Roxy grimaces, looking up at him as his eyes flutter open. His mouth turns up in a weak smile that quickly vanishes into a wince. 

“‘ven smilin’ hurts,” he mutters, and his words are thick and clumsy around the blood in his mouth. “You…took your fuckin’ time. Wasn’ sure you’d get here.”

“Of course I got here,” Roxy says, heart plummeting as Eggsy’s eyes start to flutter. “Stay awake, Eggsy!”

“You’ve got to keep him awake!” Merlin says into her ear. 

“I know, I’m trying. Come on, Eggsy. Come on!” She pats his face and he stirs, looking up at her. She tries to smile. “The hard part is over, all you have to do now is keep your eyes open. You can do that, right?”

“Trying,” Eggsy gasps. “Ain’t ‘s easy as it looks…S-sorry.” His eyes roll and then his lids fall shut, his chin dipping down toward his chest. 

“Eggsy!” Roxy swallows the lump in her throat. “Hang on. You just hang on, Eggsy.”

xxx 

It takes two surgeries, a dozen units of blood, and a chest tube to stabilize Eggsy. Merlin watches over him through all of it. It isn’t until he’s settled into the recovery wing that Merlin dares leave his side.

“Would you like me to call you when he wakes up?” a doctor asks as Merlin steps into the hall. 

“Yes, please,” Merlin says. “How long?”

“A few hours, at least.”

Merlin nods thoughtfully. “A few hours will be plenty of time.”

And then he heads for the holding cells, letting the relief he’s feeling give way to a cold, hungry rage. His fingers twitch in anticipation.

There’s a conversation he’s very much looking forward to having.

xxx