#effervescent snail

[majinie]

saw a snail today....... effervescent

[queer-twihard]

this is the effervescent shell of a killer bella

[brucie-kent]

the thing about effervescent is nobody knows what effervescent is so. any time i hear the word effervescent i can't help but laugh and then i just look like im insane

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[xensilverquill]

🐌 mama ragu & the pasta babies (castellane, gnocchi, orzo, farfalle, & penne)

(patterns (x)(x) by crafty intentions!)

[dewitty1]

Ride like the wind, lil buddy...

[canisalbus]

machete would absolutely send the "saw a snail today... effervescent" text to Vasco

.

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

[m0ose-idiot]

The US version of Ghosts is generally (mumble mumble mumble) but credit where credit is due, introducing a ghost snail and calling it "escarghost" was a good call 🐌👻🤍🐌

[frick-yes-dragons]

latest addition to my jacket! Not incredibly technically difficult but she did come out *exactly* as I imagined in under 3 hours so it's a win in my book

[lookitsaworm]

Twilight but, when Edward rips his shirt off in his 'skin of a killer' moment, he doesn't sparkle but instead reveals a massive chest tattoo of a snail with 'effervescent' in cursive underneath.

[colin-becher-death-countdown]

question is only tangentially related to a post you made several days ago but does someone actually say effervescent in twilight?? i thought it was just from that one tumblr post that was like "if edward had a phone he would just use it to text bella things like 'saw a snail today. effervescent' "

literally not a single person. We have only watched the first two so far but my friend who loves twilight and read all the books even the genderbent and Edwards pov one confirmed it for me it is never said

This on the other hand did happen, me and my friend saw this before we watched the second movie and were absolutely gobsmacked, we thought it was like the effervescent snail meme

(in the movie the Someone asked a different question but hallucination Edward popping in just to say "Lie!" and vanishing was so funny. It's never explained why Bella turned schizophrenic for a few months.)

[akiragatr]

"Kill them with kindness" WRONG! SUPER INTELLIGENT IMMORTAL DEATH SNAIL THAT CONSTANTLY IS MOVING TOWARDS YOUR LOCATION ATTACK

[starsandwriting]

Loving the specific genre of videos youtube is recommending me today

[eleayzar]

you know, you really gotta hand it to smeyer for writing a 'happy ending' that literally has every character worse off than before edward met bella