#edward and elizabeth i think looked a lot like each other

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Endgame: The Book Report

So here it is. It kinda goes off the rails towards the end. That's the problem with having to drink through this: it's very easy to lose your train of thought, so you end up rambling.

As always, the TL;DR first. I'm goign to use headings and subheadings in the report below for easier skimming.

There aren't many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom but it's still not good.

Scobie definitely holds a grudge for the way he was treated after Finding Freedom published.

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Scobie and the Sussexes don't understand how business works.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

Rage against the machine and media

Not many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

There isn't a whole lot that's new. Most of the book (maybe 75%/80%) is things we already know about because they were covered extensively by the media when it happened.

Sources. He never names names, so the whole thing is written based on anonymous sources and it doesn't seem reliable. Not to mention, some of the sources read like it might be the same person, but Scobie is treating them as different people so it looks like he has a ton of sources. It suggests, to me, that he doesn't have the kind of access he claims to (which is probably true. There was a leak a couple months ago by one of the royal reporters that Scobie once called them begging for contacts and sources because no one was talking to him) and he's scrambling to cover it up.

Piers Morgan. Scobie confirms that Piers is close to Camilla. They grew up near each other and have fond memories of their hometown that they’ve connected over. There’s a 10-year age gap between them so it’s more like they have people/experiences in common than they played together. Scobie is careful not to say that he thinks Camilla gives information to Piers but he makes it clear that Piers’s loyalty has not gone unrecognized by Camilla.

The Bee, The Wasp, and The Fly. Harry's villains in Spare, which he nicknamed so he wouldn't be sued could speak more openly about them. I remember a lot of guessing about who these were but I can't recall if anyone confirmed their names. Well, Scobie does.

The Bee is Edward Young, whom Harry hates because “Young abused his gatekeeping power, gaslighting him when it came to passing along important messages about his lawsuits to the media, and then prohibiting access to his grandmother when Harry needed her the most, all under the guise of ‘protecting the sovereign’.” Harry and Scobie also believe that Young truly loathed Meghan and “was slow to help find patronages and active roles” for her after the wedding. “Sources say he ‘dithered’ for eight months before nudging Queen Elizabeth II to appoint Meghan as the royal patron for the National Theatre.” (So Meghan is incapable of doing her own work to find suitable charities and patronages? So much for hitting the ground running like she claimed.)

The Wasp is Clive Alderton. He's Charles's crony.

The Fly is Simon Case, whom Harry sees as the cause for his and William’s relationship breaking. In Harry’s perspective, Case made moves that prioritized William’s role as heir without consideration for Harry. Some of Case’s actions felt like they were made to promote William at Harry’s expense (for instance, Harry believes Case pushed British media to attack the Sussexes over their travel by private flight and organized the Cambridges’ commercial Flybe flight to Balmoral with the express purpose of being able to tip off the press). 

Rota System. Scobie describes how the rota works. It is the most complete explanation of how the rota works that I can recall reading in royal books and I can't see them being very happy he pulled the curtain back. (More on this in the 'Media' section further down.)

Courtiers - Scobie explains that in the palace lexicon, a courtier is “a press official or private secretary who manages and offers advice to working royals, strategizes engagements, and releases information.” These are Diana’s “men in gray suits.”

The bombshell - Scobie implies that Harry accused Christian Jones of either hacking his and Meghan’s phones/office(s) and feeding information to Dan Wootton at The Sun or facilitating access for Wootton/The Sun to hack their phones/offices, leading to Wootton’s Megxit scoops.

Scobie doesn’t say that specifically and he’s careful to paint Harry with sympathy but it’s there between the lines. After describing what happened, Scobie writes that Harry was surprised by the Palace’s response, that they were angry at him, not Jones, and that they had arranged a lawyer for Jones (which is, to me, the first subtle hint that Harry wasn’t just complaining and had actually made some kind of accusation). Scobie goes further to say that the Palace interpreted Harry’s complaints as a threat to sue so they lowered the boom and then Harry realized how badly he fucked up so he did the classic “you’re overreacting, that’s not what I said.”

The timeline is a little unclear but from Scobie’s writing, Harry’s “report” to higher authorities of his concerns about Jones and The Sun happened in April 2020 after “starting” in January 2020 at the Sandringham Summit when Harry apparently spoke to William about this. Now, this is where I get a little “be fucking for real.” Let’s be clear: the Megxit statement was Harry announcing his intent to quit and the Sandringham Summit was the BRF saying “we accept your resignation, your last day is X” (which ended up being March 9th, the Commonwealth Service). Which means that by the time April rolled around and Harry made this “report,” he was no longer an employee of the firm; he was, for all intent and purpose, a disgruntled ex-employee with a grudge. Of course the Palace is going to come down hard on him, because they’re going to protect the person who is still there working for them. 

Harry (and Scobie) seem to believe that this “report” of his concerns with The Sun is directly connected to the palace’s decision in July 2020 to cut off all the financial support he and Meghan were still getting from the Crown, including the official private security that Charles was paying for. (This is the second subtle hint that his “report” was actually some kind of accusation or threat.) Maybe there is a correlation, maybe there isn’t. But at the end of the day, Harry fucked around and Harry found out.

(Christian Jones comes up again in the Media section.) 

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom, but it's still not good.

Finding Freedom. One of the things everyone roasted Scobie on was all the merching, name-dropping and brand promotion that was in Finding Freedom. He must have learned his lesson because there’s very little of this. In that regard, Endgame isn’t as obnoxious to read.

The Crown. Scobie mentions The Crown a few times and talks about a couple of plot points. It only happens three or four times, but it’s a definite clue that his audience is the casual royal watcher here only for the drama. It’s hard to take him (or anyone, really) serious when he’s compelled to base the veracity of something happening on whether, or how, The Crown covered it.

Editing and fact-checking. The editing (grammar, punctuation, etc.) isn’t as bad as in Spare, but Scobie and his team definitely have some mistakes. Someone on that team doesn’t know how to write a list, so there’s a lot of strange clauses and phrases.

With the fact-checking, there are a few glaring errors that close followers/watchers of the royal family will pick up. The most egregious one is this sentence:

During a conversation just hours after the September 19, 2022, funeral of Prince Philip, Harry confronted his father and brother about why nothing was done on Meghan’s behalf.

Philip’s funeral was April 17, 2021, and we know there was a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards. The Queen’s funeral was September 19, 2022, and no one reported a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards, so I don’t think it happened there. (Also William wasn’t talking to Harry by September 2022 - Scobie makes it painfully clear that William was both refusing to see Harry and refusing to take his calls.)

However, if you google Prince Philip’s funeral, you get this:

The truth is that Philip’s funeral was on April 17, 2021. But Philip wasn’t actually buried (i.e., placed in his final resting place) then. That had to wait until The Queen’s funeral, and it was widely announced at the time that he would wait. The Queen and Prince Philip were both interred together on the evening of September 19, 2022, in a private family-only service.

So that’s some very lazy fact-checking. It's Internet 101: Verify, verify, verify.

Other similar instances:

Scobie’s description of The Queen’s return home to London: "Five days into the ten-day period of national mourning, King Charles and Camilla, Queen Consort, received the coffin at RAF Northolt, on the western outskirts of London. It was there the royal family handed over her body to the public she served--Her Majesty then lay in state until the day of her funeral." (Charles and Camilla weren’t at RAF Northolt. They received the coffin at Buckingham Palace - remember, Scobie? When you got the only photograph of the moment because Meghan tipped you off?, and the family didn’t “hand over” The Queen until the following day, Day Six.) (Here’s the livestream from RAF Northolt; go to 25:07 for a view of the receiving party).

Scobie writes that Sara Latham was working for the Sussexes in Summer 2018, but she wasn’t hired until March 2019. (The specific quote is in the Meghan’s Lapdog section below.)

Scobie writes that William “automatically became the Prince of Wales--the Duke of Cornwall in England and the Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew in Scotland” on the Queen’s death and Charles’s accession. William got the Duke of Cornwall and the rest on Charles’s accession. Charles had to bestow Prince of Wales on him.

The second instance of fact-checking that jumps out is Scobie’s own fact-checking on misinformation about Harry and Meghan, yet he perpetuates it against other members of the royal family. Here’s an example. Scobie discusses how News of the World published stories about Harry's drug use as a teenager but then goes on to say:

While Harry has admitted to spending many nights at Highgrove getting high and drunkenly falling into trouble at a local pub in Wiltshire, the story failed to mention that this rebellious time in his life was partly the result of Charles leaving him alone at his country mansion for a majority of the summer in 2002.

But then Scobie gives only partial stories for other royals, conveniently leaving out the pieces that nullify his argument:

It's impossible to forget the time Kensington Palace issued an official statement in defense of Kate after a plastic surgeon had suggested to a newspaper that she, then the Duchess of Cambridge, had 'baby Botox' injections to reduce wrinkles.

and

And who can forget when [Edward and Sophie] was sent to Antigua and Barbados, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, and Saint Lucia just one month after William and Kate's flop Caribbean tour?

and

“There is even a rumor (one that, surprisingly, sources have confirmed) that Charles likes to have someone squeeze exactly one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush for him ahead of his bedtime routine.”

The truth is that KP only took action about Kate's baby Botox claims because the surgeon was using her image to promote his practice. And the way Scobie describes the then-Wessex tour of the Caribbean, he means for us to think it was an apology tour after the terribly-received Cambridge tour, but that is not at all the case: the Cambridge tour and the Wessex tour were both announced on the same day, in the same press release. And yes, Charles did once have someone toothpaste his toothbrush, but only when he had a broken arm/wrist and couldn’t do it himself.

Citations. Let me ask you a quick question first. When you read a nonfiction book like this, you expect the author to cite their sources in the text, right? You want the footnotes and the endnotes so you can look up where things are coming from, right? Well, not Scobie! He lumps his sources and citations together in a “credits” section at the end of the book. If you want to know what a source says or which article he’s referencing, good luck. For me, this is terrible practice because it obscures and obfuscates the strength of his work. It calls a lot of questions about the accuracy of his reporting that he can’t properly attribute his quotes, sources, or reference materials and makes the possibility that his entire book is the same handful of anonymous sources more likely.

Strange interludes. Throughout the book, there are strange interludes of, well, history lessons. There are sections on Charles II and William IV, sections about Hamlet and Beckett, and Scobie even discusses Lucy Worlsey’s book on Georgian courtiers (YOU KEEP LUCY WORLSEY OUT OF YOUR MOUTH **Will Smith slap**). I see what he’s doing - he’s trying to connect the issues in the modern House of Windsor with other periods of institutional stability - but it doesn’t really work. It’s awkward. In some places it works better than others, like the piece about Worlsey’s courtiers goes easily with Scobie’s discussion of Charles’s courtiers. But to bring up William IV only to point out how Charles is older than him? It’s clunky.

What exactly is this book? I don’t know. Sometimes it’s a cultural interpretation of the modern House of Windsor in the new Carolean age through the lens of media relations. 

Sometimes it’s Scobie’s memoir. He puts himself in the middle of these stories a lot, to the point where it’s like 50% his personal recollection and 50% commentary. We get it, man. You have a fabulous job with access to the kinds of people and events the rest of us can only dream about it. But it’s not about you. It’s about the people around you. Take yourself out of it.

Sometimes it’s an investigative journalism-like expose. It reminds me a lot of the works by the muckrakers, who were working hard to expose corruption and implement reform. There are sections of the book that feels preachy, where Scobie is writing about his ideas for how the palace’s relationship with the media need to change or how their stance on race relations could modernize, and when it’s not accepted or taken seriously, you can feel his anger seeping off the page that no one’s listening to him. 

And sometimes it reads as if it’s been ghostwritten by Meghan and Harry themselves. There are some stories, some quotes, some details–especially post-Megxit–that could only come from them, or people very close to them in California. And you know, given how intensely private Harry and Meghan are, they absolutely consented to those stories being part of Scobie’s book. Scobie tries hard to cover those tracks but it leaks through. Here are some of those quotes/sections:

The next morning, after a further Palace update warned that her doctors were 'concerned for Her Majesty's health and have recommended she remain under medical supervision,’ an insider messaged me to say, 'It's not looking good.' For a multitude of reasons, I hoped the warning would turn out to be false. Arriving at ABC News' offices that Thursday afternoon, I received a text from someone very close to the family. As I caught my breath in the elevator of the Disney-owned building, 'A Spoonful of Sugar' was playing quietly in the background, making a surreal moment even more so. 'Please don't say anything yet, but I think it's happened,' they wrote. I responded with a follow-up, checking that I understood their message correctly. No doubt trying to get confirmation of their own, the source--someone whose word I had come to trust over recent years--didn't reply.

and

[Princess Michael] later apologized for the indiscretion (though never directly to Meghan), but according to sources, the princess still shrugs and wrinkles her lip when the subject comes up. 'I don't think she particularly cared,' a senior royal source told me.

(how would Scobie know she never apologized directly to Meghan?)

and

As the morning sun rises over Santa Barbara, bathing the steep Santa Ynez Mountains, and the Pacific Ocean sparkles with California's trademark glow, the sprawling Sussex compound in the wealthy enclave of Montecito is already popping. With Meghan already preparing a family breakfast in the kitchen, Prince Harry is busy getting the couple's children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, ready for nursery school and toddler playgroup, respectively. Despite the staff on hand to help during the daytime, when Harry and Meghan shift into work mode, the Sussexes keep their mornings as time 'for the family only,' said a source--no staff.

and

The Sussexes' team received correspondence from Buckingham Palace's Keeper of the Privy Purse Sir Michael John Stevens, who informed Harry and Meghan that, as they were no longer working royals or based in Britain, they needed to give up the keys to their royal rental, Frogmore Cottage. Although there were reports to the contrary some months later, I spoke to a source close to the couple on the day they were informed, and there was a clear feeling of shock and disappointment as the news sunk in.

Kate. How Scobie writes of Kate reveals that he may not be as close to the Waleses as he claims:

And now, like Diana, she, too, is the Princess of Wales. It’s a title that carries a huge and extremely important legacy, but sources close to the royal (who, for those wondering, ‘is just as happy being called Kate as she is Catherine’) say she is surprisingly ‘unfazed’ by her new destination.

I’m specifically talking about why he calls her Kate versus Catherine. (And I have issues with “surprisingly ‘unfazed’” too.) Yes, everyone knows that at one point, she was called Kate. But it’s been made very clear that she prefers to be called Catherine. She introduces herself as Catherine. William and the family calls her Catherine. She signs her letters, cards, and tweets as Catherine. She asked her own friends and her own family to call her Catherine. Nobody calls her Kate except the public, and I feel pretty confident in saying that the “call me Kate or Catherine” message was explicitly intended for the general public, because she isn’t going to be all ‘ahem, my name is CATHERINE’ to fourteen-year-old Jennifer who’s so excited to see her, and the press decided to lump themselves into that category because their SEO is tied to ‘Kate.’

But what I’ve noticed is that people in the traditional press are starting to call her Catherine, especially those that write books. The shift seems to have begun when The Queen passed and Kate became The Princess of Wales.

So for Scobie to happily call her Kate and justify it with ‘well she said it’s OK!’ when she very clearly prefers Catherine makes him more uncredible. He can call Meghan by her preferred name. Why can’t he call Kate ‘Catherine’ because she prefers it?

(As for “surprisingly unfazed” - listen. The woman took William back seventeen years ago KNOWING that this was her future. That’s 4 years “pre-engaged” and almost 13 years of marriage, and you’re telling me you’re shocked, just SHOCKED, that she was prepared to be the Princess of Wales? Scobie, please.)

Scobie holds a HUGE grudge about the way he was treated after Finding Freedom.

He’s not Meghan’s lapdog! Much of the criticism Scobie endured from Finding Freedom were allegations of how close he was to Meghan. He denies, denies, denies all through Endgame, and those statements are dripping with scorn and derision. He absolutely hates that people don’t take him seriously because of a perceived connection to Meghan:

The papers would often refer to me, incorrectly, as Harry and Meghan's 'pal,' another lie largely created to delegitimize the details I was sharing from sources close to the couple that often went against narratives that tabloids were reporting.

He goes to great lengths to tell us and make sure we know that he is not close with Harry and Meghan, that he is close to their communication aides/staff. That may or may not be true, but it certainly does not help his case when he keeps saying things like:

During the peak of [Meghan's racism on-slaught and Scobie's social media pile-on] in late summer 2018, I received a call that I thought was from the couple's head of communications at the time, Sara Latham. We had been texting back and forth about an upcoming royal engagement. 'Hi, Omid!' a female voice chirped. It was different to Latham's northwestern American accent. 'It's Meghan.' I put my iced coffee down, not quite sure if the call was a prank. 'We saw your name keep coming up on the phone...and I just wanted to say high, see how you're doing.' Sara had mentioned to her that I was dealing with my own online harassment and threats.

and

When the couple left their children in California with Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland, and a nanny to visit the United Kingdom and Germany for five days of engagements in September 2022, neither knew that the quick-fire trip would result in a two-week return to royal drama. Neither did I. During this visit, I joined some of their engagements and watched as Meghan gave a speech to teenagers and young adults at the One Young World summit in Manchester.

and

That summer, Christian Jones--who remained at Kensington Palace to oversee all the Cambridges' media efforts--messaged me out of the blue to say it would no longer be appropriate to socialize. Another aide later told me that William had requested this. As we approached 2020, I felt the growing strains on my working relationship with Kensington Palace, who were also much more guarded when it came to their own communication with the Sussex team at Buckingham Palace. I was still invited to the private briefings and announcements but, two months after returning from an October tour with the Sussexes in southern Africa, one of William's aides revealed that William felt 'uncomfortable' with my relationship with the Sussex team.

He’s so close to the Sussexes that Meghan has personally spoken to him, that he was invited to cover their fauxyal tour in September 2022, and William himself is uncomfortable with the access he has to Harry and Meghan. And he doesn’t see how or why people may think he’s in Meghan’s pocket?

It’s very clear that Scobie thinks of himself to be a consummate journalism professional, a neutral third-party whose only loyalty is to truth and fact. According to himself, he can report a Cambridge/Wales versus Sussex issue fairly, accurately, and evenly, but the way he describes certain events taking place tells us that part of his dislike for William is because William never gave Scobie the opportunity to prove it; William, or William’s team, saw Scobie getting closer to the Sussexes and nipped his “both sides of the fence” strategy in the bud. This, I suspect, is why he’s so offended when people accuse him of being close to Meghan and Harry - because by being so closely linked to the Sussexes, he lost preferential treatment from the Cambridges and that absolutely reflects poorly on him. 

Lost access. Scobie is very transparent and very clear that he lost sources and access to Kensington Palace several times because of his “loyalty” to the Sussexes, most especially after Finding Freedom published:

Owing to a unique pool of sources and a refusal to follow the crowd, I quickly became a trusted confidante for many in and around the younger family--a true insider. But all that changed in late 2020 after the publication of my first book, Finding Freedom, about Harry and Meghan's whirlwind journey in, and out of, the House of Windsor...The fear of damaging revelations scared the family and angered powerful Palace operatives, and it also put a mark on my back...I'm still in the mix, but let's just say I'm no longer the journalist who some in the family, or the more royalist-leaning correspondents, are thrilled to see at engagements. Having moved away from playing the Palace game of give-and-take to maintain access, I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution.

While he’s mostly bitter that Finding Freedom cost him sources and affiliation, he also sees it as a badge of honor, arrogantly boasting:

I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution. Why? Because I know--and share--too much. For four years, some of the most damaging in Windsor history, I witnessed the full scope of the deceptions, malice, and defensive posturing of an unstable family business and an institution in decline. I saw how far they would go to save their own skin, the deep corrosion at the heart of the royal establishment, and I've witnessed the human damage done because of it."

and

Parts of this book will burn my bridges for good. But to tell the full story, there’s no holding back. Not anymore. We’re in the endgame. (Isn’t this the same speech Ironman gives in Avengers: Endgame?)

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Overly sympathetic to the Sussexes. We all knew that Endgame would be clearly biased in favor of the Sussexes since that’s where Scobie has drawn battle lines, but the extent to which he gives Harry grace and sympathy is beyond astounding and, at times, beggars belief.

For instance, one of the constant lines throughout the book is how frequently Harry keeps trying to reach out to Charles and William to have “conversations.” In Scobie’s world, Harry is completely absolved of anything he may or may not have done to upset Charles and anger William, that the lack of relationship between Charles/William and Harry is completely on Charles and William because Harry is always communicating, always reaching out, always wants to talk, always available for a call. Scobie makes it clear that Harry (and Meghan) expect apologies and accountability. But where is Harry and Meghan taking accountability and making apologies for what they did? There’s a fundamental inability for any of them on “Team Sussex” to realize that if they truly desire a conversation and apologies, then they need to apologize first; doing so would make it clear to Charles and William that they’re serious about resolving these issues. 

Except I think they know that. The way Scobie phrases some of this seems to hint that the Sussexes know being able to have this conversation means they need to take accountability for their own behavior/actions and apologize to Charles and William. But they won’t because they thrive on the attention and drama that making these demands every quarter brings them. It’s the only way they have been able to reliably and consistently stay in the news.

And one of the more infuriating comments Scobie makes is this one:

One is left to wonder if William of Anglesey or William the air ambulance pilot would have left his sibling out in the cold in the same way.

Why is the broken brotherhood all on William? Why is it exclusively related to William coming to terms with his status in the family? Why isn’t there equal accountability on Harry, who takes such pride and ownership in being a soldier, who’s talked about the guilt of having to leave my guys behind? If William of Anglesey or William the Air Ambulance Pilot wouldn’t leave Harry out in the cold, then Scobie needs to equally ask: Would Captain Harry Wales have abandoned his brother and left him behind?

Bias against William and Kate. We also knew that Endgame would be a smear job against William and Kate. Scobie doesn’t let us down. He delights in pointing out how awful William is to be thinking about a future without Charles (forgetting that Charles did the same thing to The Queen, and also when The Queen was much younger than Charles is now). He’s thrilled to paint William as a ruthless bully in the way he manages his staff and how his staff is equally ruthless in the way they engage/interact with other staffs, especially in communications and media relations.

What surprised me is that Scobie isn’t as venomous as he usually is in his coverage of her, which often is rooted in the relationship between Kate and Meghan. He does get his digs in, don’t get me wrong:

He calls her workshy and lazy without saying the words directly: “Where other senior royals are out and about several times a week…Kate has long maintained a smaller work schedule that helped her check off the required royal boxes while saving time for her roles as a mother and wife.”

He reinforces the “Carole is the master schemer” rumor: “Carole saw that the pretty and grounded Kate was ready to carry the family name further to the top…The Middleton strategy involved more than just aristocratic affectation–Carole calculatingly placed Kate right at the center of young Prince William’s world….Carole set things up, and Kate took it the rest of the way.”

He mentions the “plastic princess designed to breed” article.

He says that Kate’s Hold Still project was the same thing as Meghan’s Hubb Community cookbook. (On the surface they are similar, yes, but Meghan slapped her name on the cookbook and took credit for everything whereas Kate was involved with the Hold Still book from Day One with the initial contest and took credit only for the actual introduction she wrote, letting the community own the actual content.)

He brings up the unfriendliness with Meghan: “She spent more time talking about Meghan than talking to her…Kate has jokingly shivered when Meghan’s name has come up around her”.

And of course, it's not a smear job until the Rose rumors are addressed. Don't worry. They're here too.

There’s plenty more where this comes from, but Scobie’s overall portrayal of Kate is that he sees her as a victim to the palace machinery who survived on the basis of being willing to submit fully to the “palace personality makeover.” She has succeeded where Meghan, Diana, and Sarah failed because she was willing to be trained (why, Scobie claims, The Queen liked her) and she had William’s protection to keep the monarchy from corrupting her. It’s an interesting spin that I didn’t expect from Scobie, but he takes it too far with a metaphor that the Palace has stifled her individuality: 

"Here's the thing about [the weeping blue cedar Kate planted at an event in 2019]: It's naturally slow-growing and requires adequate space for its sculptural branches and cascading needles. But if there is too much pruning, or the space around it is too restricted, the tree ends up taking on an odd shape and loses the character that made it so special in the first place."

Because in blaming it all on the Palace, Scobie conveniently leaves out any accountability for himself or the press in the way they treated, and have, at times, mocked Kate, such as:

Some journalists who have been approached by publishers to author biographies about the Princess of Wales have turned down the chance. 'I'd barely be able to do a chapter, let alone an entire book,' one joked to me. (Even so, a Kate book would sell like gangbusters. Missed opportunity if you ask me.)

and

[M]ainstream coverage of Kate in the British papers is overwhelmingly positive, often bordering on infantilizing the princess, with articles marveling at her ability to perform the simplest of tasks (think enthusiastic reporting about kicking a soccer ball or flipping a pancake or how amazing it is that she can assume a perfect 'princess pose' in photographs).

Scobie seems unable to realize that the reason Kate has retreated “further into” the palace machinery is because the press keeps pushing her into it. She has kept her individuality and her personality and her “Kate”-ness, but it’s reserved only for those close to her and only for the general public that genuinely cares for her. The “palace persona” that Scobie sees her in is the elevated version of herself she presents to the press. And why wouldn't she let them see who she really is? They mock her and belittle her any chance they get!

The hypocrisy, overall. It’s just exhausting. Scobie plays everyone against each other, sometimes even contradicting his own stories.

We can be ageist but not racist - discriminating against Lady Susan Hussey is okay because she’s eighty years old and that disqualifies her from public service.

It’s okay for Harry to complain but not William or Charles.

It’s okay for people to not know who the Earl and Countess of Wessex are but everyone in the whole damn world must know who Oprah is.

It’s okay for Charles to plan his future but not William.

It’s okay for Charles to own six properties but William can’t have three.

It’s okay for Harry to use the media to settle grievances, but not Charles.

It’s okay for Charles to show leadership, but not William.

It’s okay for the Dutch royals to let scholarly research on their role in the slave trade determine how, where, and when they apologize for their colonialism but the BRF needs to apologize and make reparations immediately.

It’s okay for Meghan to have help at home and prioritize family time, but not Kate.

It’s okay for Harry to cash in on Diana’s memory but not anyone else, and certainly not William.

It’s okay for the Queen to take lots of time off because she works a lot but not Kate, who doesn’t work because she has children. (Is raising children not work?)

It’s okay for the Queen to avoid talking to the media, but not Kate.

It’s okay for the Sussexes to have preferred reporters but not the Cambridges/Waleses.

It’s okay to tackle misinformation about Harry, not anyone else.

It’s okay for Charles to upstage the Queen/his parent but not for William to upstage the King/his parent.

It’s okay for Harry to blindside his family announcing things to the media first, but not anyone else.

Scobie and the Sussexes have no idea how actual business works.

So many times I thought “tell me you don’t know about the corporate world without telling me you don’t know about the corporate world.”

The biggest giveaway that they have no idea how businesses operate is this mutually-held idea that change must be immediate and must begin as soon as someone thinks of it. There’s no regard for policy, no regard for process, no regard for procedures, no regard for research, no regard for any kind of preparation to make it a lasting, effective success.

Here’s an example, from Scobie:

But it would be hasty to unreservedly believe that real change is on the horizon for the wider royal establishments just yet. In 2023, it was reported that 9.7 percent of employees in Buckingham Palace were from ethnic minority backgrounds (up from 9.6 percent the previous year) and Kensington Palace employed 16.3 percent (up from 13.6 percent). The numbers appear to be ticking up in the right direction, but a closer look at the senior staffers around royal family members reveal a predominantly white lineup (exclusively, in the case of communications team members and private secretaries at William and Kate's household). It depressingly shows that the majority of non-white employees are at junior levels or working in more service industry-type positions.

This reads like Scobie’s expectation is for the Palace to fire their existing teams and replace them exclusively with diversity hires - but even that isn’t an effective solution because everyone would just scream “it doesn’t mean anything! It’s just for the PR!” The kind of institutional change Scobie is demanding actually takes a lot of time to implement, more than the few days he thinks it should. They have to wait for vacancies to open up or, if they’re going to create a new position, then it’s even more complicated:

Where in your budget is the money coming from to be able to pay the new person their salary and benefits? What project isn’t going to happen? What program is going to get canceled?

What exactly are they going to do? If you’re taking X duties from Jane, then what is Jane going to do now?

Where are they going to sit? What kind of technology do they need? What kind of resources, access, passwords, keys?

What’s the priority for this staffing need? What aren’t you going to do because you’re going to do this hire instead? What position isn’t going to get filled? What project isn’t going to get done? 

Should the palace be hiring more diversely? Yes, absolutely. But it’s going to take time. It’s not going to change very much in one year. But what can change in one year is the recruitment strategy behind hiring, and that’s something that Scobie could actually get answers on. Are they still recruiting from the usual places or have they diversified and branched out? Are they doing blind hiring (where they remove all the personally identifying information like race, gender, name, education)? Are they recruiting from the Commonwealth realms? And this is what someone like Scobie should be asking the BRF to uphold their accountability.

Here’s another example:

Naturally, as paid members of the team, household staff for each of the three offices look out for the royals they represent. This is where 'briefings' get complicated, because while the aides are all working to prop up the Crown, they owe nothing to the family members they don't report to.

Um…does Scobie not know that he’s described every single organization and every single job? Everyone at the company works to support the company but you only owe results to the people you report to. Does he not see this at his own magazines or has he freelanced for so long he doesn’t remember what a “real” job is like?

Family businesses. Harry, Meghan, and Scobie cannot see the firm as a business. They look at and perceive everything through the lens of ‘family.’ This is, probably, the biggest “lightbulb” moment I had in reading Endgame. Harry and Meghan don’t understand, or they don’t care to understand, that there’s a family side to the monarchy and that there’s a business side to the monarchy. Everything they have done, they’ve done through the family side, hoping to leverage their personal relationships for change and action, when it was really a matter for the business side. 

And all of their problems with William, with the courtiers, with how things are done, is because they viewed the monarchy as “family first, family always” when everyone else understood, fundamentally, that there’s a time for family and a time for business. And what’s interesting is that William and Kate - forasmuch as they prioritize their own family (scaled back diaries and long breaks overlapping with the kids’ school holidays), they also prioritize the monarchy and the business side of it. They show up when it matters: they do the ceremonies, they do the walkabouts, they do the small talk, they promote the work and the people and the culture of Britain. 

Here are some quotes from Scobie illustrating how he, and the Sussexes, think “family only”:

Over time, William increasingly complained about Meghan to aides and family members. He didn't like how opinionated she was, how she spoke to his staff, and how much of her Markle family dramas were in the press. 'William shifted away from acting like a brother and became more like someone only focused [on the Crown]," a source close to the Sussexes said.

and

Charles vanished into the sacred Crown's engulfing orbit, leaving William to face the royal family's new chapter and the institution's increasing demands without his brother close by, the one person in the world who can empathize with all that's in store for him.

and

During the days ahead, Harry and Meghan kept a low profile, praying the press wouldn't turn their attention to them but remain rightfully focused on the loss of a beloved monarch. 'There was an incredible sense of sadness,' said a family source. 'For them, the Queen was one of their last strong links to the family. She always made them feel welcome. Without her...it will never be the same.

And this is in addition to Harry expecting to keep the perks of monarchy as “just” a family member that I mentioned in the “bombshell” section. He really thought he could have his life, “career,” and family fully subsidized by the business profit because he’s the CEO’s son/grandson. He’s so gobsmacked in July 2020 to realize that not everyone sees the monarchy as “family first, family always” that it literally breaks him. All of his lawsuits and all of his fighting since then has been trying to force the BRF to remodel themselves into his vision of “family first, family always” so he can get his perks back without having to work another day in his life.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

I know that race and race relations can be painful to talk about, but this is incredibly important. I don’t want to wade in too deep into it because these are conversations that aren’t easy to have through screens.

The monarchy, the institution, needs to change to be more conscientious of the power dynamics at play between an aristocratic white family who made their money on the backs of labor, land, and servants and a fast-changing world demanding more and more accountability. Charles's endorsement of the research project that the University of Manchester and the Historical Royal Palaces is a good start, as Scobie also recognizes, but there needs to be more and they can't just wipe their hands off when the report gets published saying "We did our piece. What's next?" There needs to be more and I hope there is more.

Scobie makes a lot of good, important points in his discussion (like it's not enough for the BRF to remove offensive pieces of art or contextualize their collections and they can't hold these discussions behind closed doors and that the public/the Commonwealth realms deserve to have a say in what happens next). But he also makes a few points that seem to indicate he doesn’t fully understand just how complicated race relations are, particularly when it comes to their intersection with politics. Scobie seems to think that the royal family, including the monarch (The Queen at the time), should disregard the “don’t get involved in politics” principle on a case-by-case basis to be able to speak out and support communities suffering injustice and inequality. It’s a fine line to tow; at what point is something “worthy” enough of the royal family to speak out? And how is something judged “worthier” than another to warrant royal intervention? And why has the press nominated themselves to judge that line, instead of, you know, the actual public the monarchy serves?

Probably the most disappointing thing about this section is how misplaced it feels in comparison to the overall book and message. 90% of the book is about media relations; Scobie's relationships with communications staffers, the relationship the palace has with the media, the dynamics at play between aides, principals, and the media. And then there’s a chapter on race. It's as misfitting as the chapter on Andrew (which largely just serves only to let Scobie remind everyone of the Epstein affiliations because Charles seems to be sweeping it under the rug). And that is horrific for Scobie to do; the palace's inability, or unwillingness, to recognize their role in a near-global racial disparity should not, cannot, and must not be equivalent to Andrew's scandals.

Purely from an editorial standpoint, this chapter would have been much stronger, much more compelling, and probably more thought-provoking if it was a standalone essay or part of a larger work that specifically examined racial and ethnic diversity in modern institutions of power or modern monarchies. I think Scobie shoots himself in the foot a little if his goal is to have a conversation and introduce reform by burying it in a book about media and communications. 

I do hope Scobie considers writing more on this. In fact, I think if he did do a larger and more critical piece about diversity, he might be able to earn back some of the professional credit he’s lost by becoming so closely affiliated with the Sussexes.

Rage against the machine and the media

(It kind of goes off the rails here. Apologies in advance.)

Royal rota system. So there are two rota/pool systems. One is for broadcast/television reporters. One is for the newspaper/print reporters. “Royal rota” as it’s used in the royal-watching community popularly refers to the newspaper pool.

The rota is a system where members take turns reporting back to the larger group all the information (and gossip - Scobie makes it very clear that the royal reporters absolutely engage in gossip as much as we do) from royal engagements where open coverage isn’t possible or when a larger group isn’t necessary (i.e., “boring”). The smaller rota pool is one print reporter, one television camera/broadcaster, a couple of photographers, and someone from the Press Association. This smaller group travels “inside” with the royal while everyone else waits outside in a designated press pen for arrivals and departures.

There are 10 print publications that participate in the rota. Only established British national papers are allowed. There have been occasional exceptions for the London Evening Standard and Hello. No Commonwealth publications, no foreign publications (albeit one exception), and no digital publications/media sites are permitted to join.

The exception to the “no foreign publications” rule is US media. Americans are not officially part of the rota but in about 2010ish, the rota invited two US-based reporters (Scobie and one other person) to unofficially join the rota on a honorary basis. They were given access to the pool reporting notes and could join the rota’s press pen at engagements, which had priority access. This changed in 2017 with Meghan’s arrival, because with Meghan came more US media. The new American reporters complained to the rota’s oversight officials on grounds of fairness (i.e., Scobie and the other guy were getting more information and more access than all the other Americans) and the decision was made to take them off the rota.

And just who made that decision? Who’s in charge of the rota? Drumroll please…

The Daily Mail. Rebecca English, specifically.

But how it comes across in the book is that Scobie believes, bitterly and scornfully, that he was demoted from the rota because of his closeness to the Sussexes, and specifically Meghan. It really isn’t looking good for his denial that he treats Meghan “objectively.” He says that English told him he was pulled from the rota because he had become, largely, an American television news reporter and in classic Sussex whataboutism, Scobie says she “conveniently ignor[ed] my role as royal editor for Harper’s Bazaar.” Well, Scobie, you seem to be conveniently ignoring that Harper’s Bazaar is an American publication which further disqualifies you. That’s quite the entitlement.

The rota is overseen by the News Media Association. They appoint press “captains” - there’s two, one for the everyday and one for overseas tours - who manage assignments, the rotation, and ensures that everyone is getting the reports. Rebecca English has been the captain for thirteen years, which Scobie sees as a “monopoly.” Valentine Low, of The Times, is the overseas tour captain.

And that, to me, sheds a little bit more light on Harry’s vendetta against The Daily Mail. He hates that they “control” the rota and how firmly enmeshed the rota (i.e. The Daily Mail, in Harry’s mind) is with Palace operations. Harry says in Spare (which Scobie helpfully reproduces): “I'd had it with the royal rota, both the individuals and the system, which was more outdated than the horse and cart...It discouraged fair competition, engendered cronyism, and encouraged a small mob of hacks to feel entitled.”

Scobie feels the same way, and while he’s a bit more polite about it, he is equally as bitter:

Restricted access for Commonwealth outlets, digital news organizations, or US publications (the latter being relevant to a newly installed American duchess in the House of Windsor) didn't make much sense to man of us. With the support of two senior Palace aides, I wrote a letter to relevant senior individuals at Buckingham palace about why it was important to have an additional position in the rota--one that could at least be shared by the aforementioned groups. Harry, I was told, was also keen to back the effort. But it quickly hit a dead end. Rather than decide themselves, palace aides called in [Rebecca] English and The Times' royal correspondent Valentine Low, the rota's overseas tour captain (who was admittedly far less bothered about petty politics and mostly attempted to be fair in this less-involved role), for a meeting. English told them that letting 'others' in would be unacceptable. 'To be honest the rota is just a headache none of us want to deal with. It's easier to just leave it as it is,' a senior courtier said with a shrug over coffee with me. Yet another case of institutional fear and blinkered acceptance of the status quo when it comes to the media.

Scobie’s entire focus is on restoring his access to the rota. It’s not unlike Harry’s entire focus of media reform being on positive press coverage. 

Speaking of Harry, Scobie immediately drops another revelation, one that directly played into Megxit:

Harry and Meghan, who were having their own conversations about the same issue, were then told that if they wanted to break away from the rota system and give other journalists access to their work, they would have to foot the bill for their own engagements. The list for their reasons to leave was getting longer by the month. 

Concern about cronyism, outdated tools because ‘status quo’, and a refusal to modernize are legitimate complaints, absolutely. It would be far more beneficial if the rota system was overhauled completely to reflect today’s diverse media environment. (Not to mention, adding some spots for Commonwealth and realm publications could very well have an impact on the kind of coverage being reported back home.) But once again, Harry’s entitlement leaps off the page here.

He is such a penny-pincher that he couldn’t put up his own money to institute the kind of change he wanted to see. It wasn’t his responsibility, you see. His job is to make demands, but it’s up to everyone else around him to do the actual work, to pay for his ideas, to implement the change he desires. And circling back to the “Harry has no idea how a business works” theme from earlier, this betrays what Harry thinks “business” or “work” is. Harry thinks “work” is just showing up at the appointed time, reading the provided script, sharing a genius idea or two, shaking hands, and returns in 3 months expecting to see 10 years of progress on his genius idea so he can take all the credit. Harry absolutely is not capable of comprehending exactly how much happens behind the scenes to make his idea reality. It’s no wonder why Invictus Games is sinking like the Titanic. It’s no wonder why Archewell has plateaued. No one is interested in buffing up Harry’s ego anymore. No one is interested in implementing his ideas because he refuses to help or contribute.

But you know who does? William. William has an idea or William wants to see a change, William puts his head down and does the work to recruit the people, give direction, and find the funding. When the press start spreading lies or misinformation, William doesn't just sit there and complain at people to protect him. He uses his own resources to fix the problem, which Scobie (and Harry) perceive as the problem: William as heir has more power than Harry does to protect his wife. That's not what's happening. What's happening is that William doesn't take 'no' for an answer and he works the business till he gets what he wants. Harry gets told 'no' and he tries to manipulate the family to get what he wants...but the family can't do anything.

At the end of the day, it has nothing to do with power, or money, or status, or resources, and what William has that Harry doesn't. It’s that the Cambridges/Waleses are willing and able to do the work themselves. They put their money where their mouth is while Harry and Meghan prefer to buy knockoff athletic competitions and ice cream trucks that they can slap their name on and reap glory.

And Harry is so short-sighted. There would have been absolutely zero harm in abandoning the royal rota for one week or one month, paying out of pocket for press coverage with the “specialist media”, “grassroots media organizations and young, emerging journalists” and seeing what happened? If the experiment failed, then that gives him legitimate grounds to complain that the rota blacklisted him and more people would be sympathetic to the cause. But if the experiment was a success? Oh, man, it would’ve been the modern equivalent to Lord Altrincham’s recommendations to The Queen and Harry could have coasted on that for the rest of his life. Well, woulda, coulda, shoulda. Now William will be the one to reform the press when the time comes, all because Harry freaked out at “do it yourself.”

(Which is pretty ironic, if you ask me. He and Meghan are so desperate for this ‘changemaker’ label yet when they were presented with the opportunity to do just that–albeit at their own expense–they bailed. How dare you -- spend my money on other people?! Meghan couldn’t have clutched Diana’s pearls any tighter.)

Palace relationships. I’ve said it in a few other places here, but Scobie’s book is largely about the relationships between the palaces and the media. There’s nothing really new here and it’s mostly an opportunity for Scobie to brag about how close he is to certain people and how much access he has for his reporting.

Scobie absolutely hates the team at Kensington Palace and the deeper into the book you read, the more it becomes apparent that he isn’t targeting William and Kate as much as he’s targeting the communications team that works for them. Christian Jones and Jason Knauf, to be more specific. Scobie doesn’t like how readily they appeared to do William’s bidding, how fiercely the palace protected them when Harry (and Scobie, remember, he likes to put himself in the middle of everything) called it out, and how freely they seemed to work the press for amiable coverage of William and Kate:

My proof of Kensington Palace's schemes at work wasn't just in the newspaper coverage. I also had close working relationships with Buckingham Palace aides and people on Harry and Meghan's team. Back in 2019, one of the Sussexes' main communication aides felt strongly that William's staff, led by press secretary Christian Jones, crossed a line with the mental health stories. One of the couple's team called me the moment the 'William's concerns for Harry' front pages dropped. 'It's pretty disgusting that they would pull out the mental health card for this...None of them care for his health,' the aide said. As Harry later shared, 'They were happy to lie to protect my brother. They were never willing to tell the truth to protect us.' This wasn't Christian Jones's first rodeo, and he was just one of many at Kensington Palace who engaged in these tactics. William's private secretary Simon Case and communications secretary-turned-senior-advisor Jason Knauf also shared details with preferred reporters to quell rumors about the broken relationship between the Cambridges and the Sussexes. When William and Kate went to see Harry and Meghan after the birth of Archie, Jones made calls to a Mirror reporter and me to share an exclusive--the couple had just minutes ago stopped by for a special visit. 'It's a great story that shows that the the relationship isn't as bad as everyone makes out,' he said. 'It was really sweet.' What he failed to mention, as I later found out from Sussex sources, was that the couple's lukewarm drive-by lasted less than twenty minutes.

(Also, in what universe do the parents of a newborn baby want visitors and guests to stay for hours on end? Twenty minutes to check in on the new parents, deliver some food or a gift, and give the baby a cuddle sounds like an appropriate amount of time for visitors to be there.)

Scobie further goes on to describe how he thinks it’s hypocritical of William to be so manipulative and treacherous in how he uses the media to improve his reputation, particularly at Harry’s expense, because this is exactly what Charles and Camilla did to him and he had hated it. Scobie’s overall message seems to be that the more power William gets, the less “William” he is and the more “Palace” he becomes (similar to the argument he makes of Kate), and the more “Palace” he becomes, the more ruthless his communications team gets.

I mean, Scobie even goes so far as to say that William has gone so far into the Palace machinery that he's abandoned and discredited his mother in accordance with the preferred script:

The differences in the brothers' statements are stark. Both expressed understandable outrage over Bashir's duplicity and the BBC's moral and professional failures. But while Harry stopped to acknowledge and honor Diana's strengths, despite the whole faisco, William reinforced the counternarrative that his mother was paranoid at the time. While there is no duobt that William's rebuke came from a place of love, sources sexplained he was also keen to toe the company line without any concessions to what his mother said during the interview itself. To write his statement, William turned to a number of aides within the royal household, including former private secretary Simon Case, who had left a month earlier for his new role as cabinet secretary for then prime minister Boris Johnson. He embraced the institution's version that, because Diana was duped, the interview was null and void as a result--even if wha she said was completely in line with what she had previously expressed in Morton's book. By disparaging Bashir's trick and by extension the entire interview, William ended up discrediting a large part of his mother's own story. To make his points, he did not remind the public that his mother was candid and truthful, despite Bashir's dirty work, but, instead, maintaned the royal version that she was emotionally fragile and thus easily manipulated, and therefore her claims are not to be trusted.

Or maybe, Scobie, this is William’s own personal experience and recollection of his own mother. It’s well known that William had a very different relationship with Diana than Harry did, such that he already understood at the tender age of fourteen, just how complicated her life was and how complex a person was. And, t was recently revealed that William did actual work to understand who his mother actually was as a person, warts and all. He spoke with his family and with her friends and came to know Diana The Person, whereas Harry has only entrenched himself in his twelve-year-old “My mummy is better than yours” fantasy. 

Both versions of Diana – William’s reality that she was a complicated and complex person and Harry’s reality that she was a beloved idol – can be true. But to dismiss William’s truth as “Palace bullshit” because it doesn’t match the popular narrative as told by Harry is, frankly, poppycock.

Welp, that was a huge train derailment. Getting back to the point: Scobie doesn’t like Jones because of Jones’s relationship with Wootton and his readiness to speak William’s truth at Harry’s expense. (Which is also hypocritical because Scobie spends all of Endgame speaking Harry’s truth at William’s expense.) And Scobie thinks it is unethical for Jones to be openly friendly with Wootton.

But here’s the catch. When he was being interviewed for the job in 2019, Jones disclosed his friendship and working relationship to both Simon Case and William. Yet William still hired him anyway. And with that little nugget, it becomes very clear very quickly what one of Harry’s issues is: he’s butthurt he didn’t get to know of the pre-existing relationship between Jones and Wootton and wasn’t asked to weigh in on whether he should be hired.

Now, for Knauf. Well, I’ll let Scobie tell you himself how much he hates him.

Knauf continued to work in his role as chief executive of William and Kate's foundation for a few more months before stepping down to join the board of the foundation for William's Earthshot Prize. As a loyal aide, he stuck by William through it all, from helping brief the press long after his communications role ended, leading the bullying allegations against Meghan, and joining forces with the Mail in court. Unsurprisingly, a year later, King Charles included him on his list of those to receive the honorable title of lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order for his 'personal service to the monarchy.' Notably, this high honor is chosen by the royal family and not the government, and it was his pal the Prince of Wales who performed the investiture on May 10, 2023, at Windsor Castle. Knauf--a man who went above and beyond to protect the royal family's relationship with a British tabloid--emerged from this fiasco as a titled hero, the personification of duty above all. His dangerous dalliance with the media in the courtroom is all part of a job description you won't find on his LinkedIn profile and a soon-to-be forgotten footnote in a celebrated career.

Scobie’s angry that Knauf waded in on Meghan’s copyright lawsuit with the Daily Mail. After all, he didn’t have to come forward and there was no official request for his evidence or any palace evidence in her lawsuit. But he did, because “it was [William’s] opportunity to watch the institution strike back after Harry and Meghan went so public with private details about the Firm.”

So everything goes back to the all-powerful William and his newfound power to use the palace’s relationship with friendly press to suppress, control, and humiliate others.

Paradigm Shift. After the discussion on the royal rota, probably the most fascinating part of Scobie’s criticism of the media is something he glosses over: the paradigm shift as a result of the information revolution that changed palace strategies with public relations and communications. In the span of about 50 years, the BRF went from one centralized Palace staff to three companies of Palace staff. They went from one single royal brand using ten newspapers to nine competing royal brands using national newspapers, foreign publications, digital media, and special interest groups and two ghosts (Diana and The Queen) whose legacies shape the 21st century.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather read that book than 300+ pages of background for Harry’s lawsuits.

Rehabilitating Harry. Scobie reveals the plan for how to rehabilitate Harry if/when the time comes: it's Operation PB, Mark Bolland's creation to rehabilitate Camilla for the public to (eventually) accept her as Charles's Queen.

A parting gift for making it all the way through: my very favorite quote.

Just five years ago, the thought of the Windsors becoming equal citizens without privileged status seemed unreal to most, but now that future doesn't seem as far-fetched. Harry and Meghan have already fled to real life, and, by the looks of it, they're not hurting for either money or status.

You sure about that, Scobie? You sure that Harry and Meghan aren’t hurting of money or status? Harry just flew 20 hours round-trip for a 12-minute meeting with his father to make sure his inheritance was still solid after offending everyone and burning all the bridges.

[bowtiepastabitch]

Let's Talk Costuming: It'd take a miracle to get anyone to see Hamlet

Huzzah huzzah, we return to the Renaissance for part two! You can click here to see my analysis of Aziraphale's costume through the lens of Elizabethan sumptuary laws, aka our angel is a bit of a fop and we love him for it. As a reminder (or if you don't feel like reading the other at all) we're towards the end of the Elizabethan period, around 1599-1601, and England is protestant now!

Guys I absolutely love these costumes. Chronologically, this is the first time we get to see Crowley being stylish. I mean you could count Bildaddy as being... something, but I'm not sure I'd I would not consider it to be vogue or on trend. It is, as I pointed out for Az, highly indicative of his building an identity on and appreciation for Earth.

Silhouette-wise, he's pretty on the nose, and he continues to follow the trends to some degree for many centuries up until around Y2K. He's learning to blend in with the humans and properly enjoy what they bring to the table: clothes, wine, plays, et cetera.

He's not particularly ostentatious, especially standing next to Aziraphale, but his costume speaks more to a quiet luxury. Black, for example, was a very expensive color to dye things, and the buttons and leather accents betray some level of fashion sense.

( The Royal Progress Of Queen Elizabeth I, 1740)

I think one of my favorite things about this costume is the way they took all these elements of the period and then just had them... in black. Even the little ribbon garters on the stockings! It's one of his rare outfits that's entirely and exclusively black and I love that for him. There's a variety of materials, leather detailing and buttons for example, giving the garments a lot of texture and detail nonetheless (and keeping him from looking like a black void on camera). From the first season, this is one of my favorite fits.

According to this article, these costumes are actually borrowed from the Globe's costume archives! Which makes a lot of sense looking at them, they're very elaborate and theatrical, plus I just have a soft spot for costume collections and things that have been worn for multiple productions over time and the way it ties theatre and people and artsists together. Plus, look at those shoes!!!

As per usual, the two costumes compliment each other beautifully. Their historic costumes highlight their narrative foiling of each other in a slightly different way than their modern ones do. Most notably here, at the Bastille, and in Edinburgh, their clothing has a lot to say, were they human, about both social and economic class. We see Crowley demonstrating a significantly higher level of class awareness than Aziraphale, both in their dialogue (virtues of poverty) and in their dress (Aziraphale showing up to revolutionary era Paris in full aristocratic style). Here, in the Elizabethan era, Crowley blends in much better than his angelic counterpart (see again my analysis of Aziraphale's costume in this scene).They really don't look, to your average human unaware, like they belong together. If they weren't staring at each other with puppy dog eyes, it might would be rather believable that they're not friends.

(Portrait of Sir Edward Herbert, 1st Baron Herbert of Cherbury, circa 1613-1614)

I also found this incredibly slutty portrait while I was researching for this post, which bears similarities to Aziraphale's dress, so I figured y'all might enjoy seeing it.

For further reading: https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1577/clothes-in-the-elizabethan-era/

Please note that I did write all of this intermittently over several days, and though I've done my best to proofread I'm rather tired so if it's not perfect just look the other way

[rosemarytales]

Clothing colour symbolism in The White Queen

So. I was looking at this image and wondering why Richard stands out so much in terms of colour and what it might mean, which led me down a rabbit hole. I discovered that there's one too many coincidences to be casual.

So, here's my theory about each character and what their clothing says about them and their motives.

Richard Duke of Gloucester

Richard, throughout the first episodes of the show, is mostly seen wearing either blue or Edward's trademark colours (cream, white). Blue signifies loyalty, a trademark of Richard ("Loyaulté me lie") and that loyalty is to Edward.

After Edward's death, he is seen wearing a darker shade of blue (blue + black = loyalty and grief). He is wearing full black after the deaths of Edward his son and of Anne.

Edward IV

Edward wears mostly cream or beige. It could be interpreted as white (purity), in some cases even as yellow (generosity). I haven't found much about cream: maybe it was normal nobility clothing, even though the most common association with nobility is royal purple.

The most interesting thing about his outfits is when other characters match him to show their loyalty to him, most notably Elizabeth and Richard, but also George after his betrayal of Warwick.

Sometimes, him and Elizabeth alternate, with one scene where one is wearing cream and the other light blue and viceversa, which may represent their loyalty to each other. I think, but I am not sure, that the one who is wearing cream is the main focus of the scene, whereas the blue-wearer is showing their support. But I don't remember the context of the scenes, so this is just conjecture.

His colours are always light though, be it yellow or blue.

George Duke of Clarence

I would have expected George to wear a lot of green, considering it is the colour of envy, so I was quite surprised when I realised he didn't so much (he still does sometimes, though). I had noticed, however, that in his introduction scene, while both his brothers are wearing cream/beige (matching), he stands out with orange clothes.

What does orange represent? "Worthwhile ambition". Checks out.

He sheds the orange definitively by the time he joins Edward's side again (as shown in the top picture) and he wears progressively lighter clothing, possibly showing his redemption? By the time of Isabelle's death and his own, he is only wearing a white chemise. He is visibly wearing the chemise under black clothes (grief) at the masked party.

But, do you know who wears a lot of green?

Richard Earl of Warwick

Do I need to explain this one? He envies both Edward and the Woodvilles for the power they hold.

He wears some yellow, which represents generosity, so long as he is keeping up friendly appearances and up until his betrayal of Edward. He does not, however, wear white, because the last thing he wants is peace. He is just acting like it for what he thinks is Edward's sake.

Queen Elizabeth

White is the colour of peace (in the first scene she is trying to make peace with Edward). We also see specks of blue (loyalty), probably to her dead husband.

However, she is most often seen wearing yellow (generosity), most notably at her coronation, white (purity) and light blue (loyalty). Much like Richard, she often matches with Edward.

Queen Anne

Anne is quite funny. She changes colours quite a lot, sometimes matching Richard, her sister or her father, other times not matching anyone else.

I think it shows her loyalty is to the people she loves and not to loyalty itself, unlike her husband. However, she is also ambitious and follows her own agenda, but she's always careful not to step on any toes.

She is loyal, generous, reliable and sometimes envious, which all shows in her clothing throughout the show.

Literal Queen.

Margaret Beaufort

Say what you want about her, but I am in love. Her strength of character is incredible and she is so funny, but this is unrelated to the post.

Black = the colour of grief. Her character arc is loss and gain, but the latter only comes into play in the literal last minute of the show. So loss of everything and subsequent grief.

Red = the colour of martyrdom. She is the most pious and self-sacrificial character in the whole show.

Blue = undying loyalty to the House of Lancaster, despite the risk it poses to her life and that of the people around her.

Jacquetta Woodville

Blue all the way down. Her loyalty is not to a house, or to a King, but to her daughter.

Isabelle Neville, Duchess of Clarence

Lots of green, like her dad, but mostly in a lighter shade, showcasing innocence.

She is also quite envious of Elizabeth, but not to the point of starting a war about it, so less envious (therefore, less green) than her father.

In her case, green might even represent youth.

Anthony Woodville

Brown, the colour of honesty, stability and reliability.

He is not afraid to speak his mind to Elizabeth ("your marriage was fake"), but he is also her rock throughout the show.

[eve-to-adam]

hello! first of all, i am in love with all your art, like, seriously, especially the recent ones 'cause young EoY is sooooooo indescribably lovely!!!🤧🤍 but i also got curious if you have any headcannons or ideas in general about her sisters and the relationship between them, maybe particularly with the oldest ones, like Mary and Cecily? just curiosity really, 'cause i think a lot about it 🤭

Hello!

Thanks for the compliments! I am delighted to know that my ideas arouse your interest! <33333

Indeed, it can be said that I have some headcanons with the York sisters, especially the first three - Elizabeth, Mary and Cecily. I will speak more on her behalf, because we know the most information about her, but Elizabeth and the York royals formed a very united family, especially that of Edward IV. I'm not necessarily saying that it's something out of the ordinary in the Middle Ages - although it may have seemed so - but the moment when I learned about Edward's affection for his daughters was the same when all the scenarios about them came to life.

This is especially because I am the type of person who likes to look more towards the domestic side of medieval life, not necessarily politics. Of course, at first it seemed natural to me to start this journey by illustrating Elizabeth - she being the most popular of the York sisters -, and at the same time trying to figure out what kind of personality I could attribute to her. All the information we know about her put her somewhat in the light of a saint or at least that of a "perfect child", so I wanted through all this artistic search of mine to discover what would be the correct approach regarding her childhood - the challenges she could create for her parents; fits of anger through which she could express her dissatisfaction; the moments when she proves a little more difficult to discipline. I want to explore the defiant Elizabeth, the impulsive Elizabeth, the Elizabeth who prefers to resort to deception or an innocent lie instead of taking responsibility, the one who uses her position as a princess to get what she wants. In short, my goal is to get past this historical covering of perfectionism and discover the child in Elizabeth, not necessarily the Queen of England. The same aspects are valid for her other two younger sisters.

Back to the headcanons: I've always imagined Elizabeth being closest to Mary, just as Edward IV was closest to Edmund as a child - as two confidants, secretly sneaking sweets into the bedchamber they share together , playing and reading stories even though they should be sleeping, lending each other some accessories, poking each other with sarcastic lines while embroidering, etc. I have the impression that Cecily would receive special treatment, being the third and the youngest among them, ending up causing some jealous reactions from the two older sisters. Elizabeth is the eldest, but she can be very impulsive at times. I imagine Mary to be much quieter and more obedient and Cecily would be the one who probably causes most of the disasters, lol. That is unless we are talking about the scenario in which all three appear, the "daddy's princesses" group, in which case they most likely got together to make Edward's life an ordeal, haha. Because I like nothing more than putting Edward in difficult or stressful positions because of his princesses. I love doing this. A lot.

Here we have an existential crisis roughly outlined in 30 minutes, lol.

[bethanydelleman]

I've wondered for a long time why there's such a bias among Austen fans toward Pride and Prejudice. Even just looking at # of fanfiction works, there's a clear P&P supremacy. I know Darcy and Lizzie's story has that enemies to lovers spark, but I think there are electrifying/exciting/shocking romantic moments in all her works. Is it that people like the adaptations better for P&P and that creates the bias? Is it really just a Colin Firth bias? (but then again, the director of the 2007 Persuasion called Rupert Penry-Jones "sex-on-legs", so there's plenty of very attractive leading men). What do you think creates the bias?

My understanding is that Pride & Prejudice has always been Austen's most popular work, even in her lifetime. Why it remains the most popular I can't quite say but I have some suspicions.

For one, it translates very well into the modern day. Elizabeth is outspoken and witty, she feels a lot like a modern woman, at least at first glance. Darcy is a recognizable romantic hero.

If you compare Darcy to Edward Ferrars, even though we don't have a similar class structure today, I think the idea of: Darcy could do much better/his family expects better but he's so in love with Elizabeth that he doesn't care is something we still fundamentally understand as a society. But Edward Ferrars is engaged to a woman he doesn't like, but that is admirable? It takes some work to fully comprehend why what Edward does makes him heroic.

Pride & Prejudice also starts in a very fun way. No prologue or set up, we are just thrown into a conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. The book never really slows down from there, lots of action, lots of banter and witty dialogue. There is also a fun cast of ridiculous side characters like Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine whom we can laugh at with Elizabeth.

I think Austen was right when she called it "light, bright, and sparkling". It's fun! There isn't a whole lot of angst and when it does happen, it's over pretty quickly. Compared to Persuasion which is like, waist-deep angst most of the time. Which is not a criticism, it's good angst, lots of people really like it.

Now I do know that JAFF mostly sprang up from P&P 1995 and there has been a strong 1995 influence which has lasted till this day. The main concept in JAFF seems to be that Elizabeth and Darcy are the immortal, destined, true pairing and no matter the circumstances they will always get together. Which is interesting because Jane Austen makes their love story pretty fragile and coincidental right from the beginning (Bingley took Netherfield on a whim).

You can see the influence of 1995 in the physical description of the characters. Darcy is almost always is described as having dark curly hair, Jane is blonde, Caroline wears orange etc. despite none of this being in the novel.

Jane Austen’s novels are so different from each other and there is really something for everyone. But the Pride & Prejudice bias is very strong, and I’m not sure if it’s mostly because of 1995 or there are other reasons.

Add your own theories here:

[dooplissss]

i saw your tags on that post, can you tell me about the homestuck quadrants? i was hugely into homestuck like 10 years ago but i’ve forgotten almost everything. i want to remember the ancient ways

* cracks knuckles >:) *

Matesprit ❤️ is easy, its just what humans see as romance and true love etc. One of the two reproductive quadrants, yadda yadda you get it.

Examples: - Morticia <3 Gomez - Ruby <3 Sapphire - Darcy <3 Elizabeth, with arguably some grey/black romance thru the story but thats what makes it so enduring

Moirails ♦️ is my personal favorite quadrant and is fairly straightforward, tho the canon definition is different from fanon. In fanon, its interpreted basically as best friends/queerplatonic, which, yeah, can and usually does happen with that proximity and thats why I love it, but in canon its more a power balance to prevent violence and death, typically with one figure reining back a more chaotic one. When applying to humans and other fandoms tho its better to lean toward the slightly fanon interpretation since Alternia's violent culture is so different from ours.

Examples: - Nepeta <> Equius - Aziraphale <> Crowley (obvi the situation is changing but lets leave this here) - Dean <> Castiel (obvi i'm team matesprit but canonically they belong here up til cas declares his love) - Joel <> Ellie (this is a strictly platonic quadrant dw) - Caleb <> Nott/Veth (I want to shake liam and sam so bad and explain that the relationship they were looking for was right here and they didnt have to awkwardly choose between romance and friendship)

Auspictice ♣️is the one everyone gets wrong and drives me the most insane. It's a tricky and very specific balancing dynamic thats hard to find, except maybe on the CW. Canonically, its a group of three people, two (left and right leaves) want to outright kill each other. This does not make them kismesis, I cannot stress that enough, kismesis don't want each other dead, but we'll get there in a sec. The third person is meant to prevent them from killing each other, being the mediator. Its rare for this dynamic to not be outright toxic, esp in human examples, but its a healthy option on Alternia to prevent unnecessary murder. I think this dynamic is meant to be temporary tho, even in that culture, as it weighs on the mediator a lot.

Examples: - Eridan <3< Sollux ^ Feferi, unfortunately unsuccessful showing how difficult and straining this relationship type is (also everyone who said eridan and sollux were kismesis owes me $5, I'll become a millionaire instantly) - Edward <3< Jacob ^ Bella - Pearl <3< Greg ^ Steven, a happy ending example of an auspictice (ignore the ptsd)

Kismesis ♠️is. man where do I begin. its so good. its such a fun dynamic, especially when you have a pairing that gets it just right. Kismesis is perfect enemies, arch-rivals that share a mutual respect and drive each other to improve themselves to better outwit their opponent. Its when a captain sees one of their ships on fire and smiles, knowing just who did it. Its tipping your opponents head up by the tip of a sword. Its the bad guy showing up at your doorstep because theres no one else they trust more than their greatest nemesis. Its the other reproductive quadrant because its just as deep and passionate as true love, and it can in fact switch between love and hate very easily and often.

Examples: - Quark <3< Odo (imo the BEST non-homestuck example) - Batman <3< Joker (friend hates when i say this but i'm right, esp with lego batman) - Xavier <3< Magneto - Light <3< L - God <3< Satan, why not lmao

I wish homestuck was seen as less cringe bc the quadrants are SOOO FUN to apply to ships and dynamics in other fandoms and contexts. At the same time, people get the quadrants wrong constantly, especially between kismesis and auspictice. And the quadrants aren't static, you don't have to lock a ship in just one forever! feelings change and very easily turn from black to red to black again, its all so complicated and fun to watch.

Hope all this makes sense lmao, thanks for the ask!

[yorkshire-rockchick]

Please can we know about your OCs, I've seen the odd mention to them in your fics on AO3

Oh, I love my OCs and can say so much about them.

THE PLAYERS;

Harry Winters - Goal keeper who moves up from the academy team at 16. Good frieds with Noah and Drew, boyfriend of Chloe.

Ezekiel Noah Gordon - Goes by Noah because he hates his first name. Came up from the academy. Plays as a right back defender. Good friends with Harry and Drew

Andrew "Drew" Cameron - A Scottish trans player who also went to the AFC Richmond academy. Plays as a striker and looks up to Jamie and Dani. Unofficially adopted by Paul and Tom.

THE FAMILY MEMBERS

Isabella "Izzy" Rosenfeldt - Anders girlfriend, later wife. They've been together since they were 15. You know the woman who hugs Anders at the end of the last episode when Richmond wins? This is her, I just made her interesting. She's half Spanish, half American. Her dad works for the US Government which is how she ended up in London.

Erin Reynolds - Paul Reynolds wife. They met at church and are the only Richmond couple to get married in a church due to both of them having a Catholic upbringing. Erin speaks Irish as a first language and didn't learn English until she was 16 when she decided she wanted to go to law school.

Olivia Catherine "Liv" Reynolds - Paul and Erin's eldest child. Named after her godparents. She is smarter than most children her age, likes hanging out with the team and calls them all her uncles. Based on the line "You told my daughter..." in series 2 when everyone has a go at Jamie

Emily Grace Reynolds -Erin and Paul's youngest daughter. Based on the line "What about sonograms?" when everyone has to delete photos off their phones.

Sophie O'Brien - Tom O'Briens wife. They met when Tom accidentally crashed his car into Sophie's. They get married after 6 months because they both like each other and they think it is a good idea. Sophie has a masters degree in chemistry and teaches at a private all girls school. She eventually gives up her job to focus on her PhD.

Pippa Kukoč (nee Edwards) - Sasha Kukoč's girlfriend, later wife. She is a nursing student who has a placement in the local Accident and Emergency department which means she sees a lot of the Richmond players. She is Jeff Goodmans cousin so he disapproved of her relationship at times.

Elizabeth - the fabulous creation of @orbitalpirate, she is a curvy goddess who is loved by Thierry Zoreaux.

Chloe Morgan - Harry's girlfriend. Knows nothing about football beyond what colours Richmond play in. Grew up in care so had a rough start in life. Rebecca offers her a job working for Richmond as a means to support herself and she loves it.

THE PETS

Spagetti the Corgi - Arlo Dixon's corgi. Occasionally looked after by Olivia Reynolds. Spagetti is a rescue dog, so everyone jokes Arlo is a rescue human after he moved in with Jeff.

Alfred Bumbercatch - Moe's cat. Alfred turned up one day and that was that. He is a Sphynx cat so Moe knits him a lot of jumpers.

Arthur the Rabbit - Tommy Winchester's rabbit. Arthur is spoiled and has free run of the house. Decan claims not to like him, this is a lie. Jamie laughs every time he hears the name.

Marshamallow McAdoo-Bumbercatch - Isaac and Moe's Pomeranian puppy that they get when they get married. Pretends not to like Alfred. Isaac treats her like a princess and it shows at times.

Cleo the cat - Jamie and Colin's maine coon cat. She is stubborn and only likes Jamie and Colin. She has been known to poop in the shoes of people she does not like.

Rocky the horse - Izzy's horse, brought for her by Anders after they found out they couldn't have children. Izzy swaps horse tips with Rebecca after Rebecca also gets a horse.

There are more OCs to be added, both human and pets but they are still in development.

[richmond-rex]

I know neither of them are contemporary, but I'm absolutely obsessed with how similar Elizabeth Woodville's most famous portrait is to her daughter's, and also how similar the two of them look in their family depiction in Canterbury.

I'm so here for the the way Edward IV and Elizabeth Woodville's children were strongly identified with their maternal family - while classism certainly played a role in it, it's also clear that the fact that their maternal family was English and were regularly at court as opposed to being foreign nobles, which meant that they had a stronger presence in the York siblings life than most previous royals. And we know that Elizabeth Woodville kept her children close to her, that Elizabeth of York regularly accompanied her mother and emulated several of her mother's activities as queen, that Elizabeth was an official member of her son the Crown Prince's council which gave her formal authority rather than informal influence, and that Anthony Woodville was his nephew's governor. I think Richard Gray also became involved towards the end of his life. And there's the fact that some people wanted to seperate Edward V from his maternal uncle and brothers until he came of age presumably because of their influence on him, and the fact that people were worried about Richard III potentially marrying Elizabeth of York because she would use her power to avenge her uncle and (half) brother.

Hi! Yeah, it's very telling that there were people who actually thought Elizabeth of York would use her position as queen to avenge her Woodville relatives and brothers. And we do have evidence that she cared about them, as she later paid people who served them (her uncle Anthony and her brother Edward V). She was also very protective of her sisters, paying for their diet and clothes even though they were married (and theoretically, those should be provided by their husbands) — I don't know of any queen who paid annuities for their sisters like that — so it does seem like she cared a lot about her immediate family. In my opinion, it speaks to a certain way that she and her siblings were raised, very much surrounded by maternal uncles and their Grey half-brothers (not to mention, for example, their grandmother Jacquetta, who even went to sanctuary with them in the first time).

The most famous portraits of the two Elizabeths are not contemporary but there are other images which very much resembled each other. The Canterbury stained window, as you said, and Elizabeth of York's effigy and Elizabeth Woodville's manuscript illustration:

[jortschronicles]

Monmouth caps and awesome hats

Those of you who know me in person or on facebook may know that last year, Mistress Elsa got me into the deep dark black hole wonderful world of knitting monmouth caps! I started this as a way to fidget when nervous and burn up some scrap yarn, but this has definitely spiralled out of control with 112 hats made and two (in different sizes) sitting on the needles. I've made a variety of colors, sizes, and patterns, including developing a pattern for the Ansteorran and Vindheim stars on the crown of the hat. I've found this ongoing project rewarding, especially since I started giving the completed hats to my baroness to distribute at her own leisure. There's something pretty magical about seeing your creations in the wild. I do not see this project ending anytime soon.

I have a small number of garb projects in time out for their sins and crimes (mostly, not working exactly the way i want them to right then and there). Foremost of these are my lined Rus Coat and the Neapolitan dress. The neapolitan dress is an experiment in creating a kirtle entirely from scraps of other projects, and the gores just happen to look an awful lot like neapolitan ice cream. the rus coat is in time out as the liner, mill ends of the fleecy liner carhartt uses in jackets, is not cooperating with the outside shell and i got frustrated by fitting issues. this will be picked up again when i feel more confident and less stressed about being warm.

My current ongoing project is creating an ottoman outfit from the ground up. I made a supportive gomlek which fits well and stress tested it at Pennsic. My next step is a zibin or entari, and I think i have just the right fabric picked out for each. I get excited about starting new periods bc I want all the pretty headwear, but have to restrict myself to only starting a new period when I've finished 1 full outfit for the one I was last working on. My pink and orange rus was finished in time for vindheim's 4th coronet tournament, so on to turkish!

the final project on my immediate docket is a new cotehardie and surcote to wear for the medieval fair of norman. For mental health and physical health reasons, I will be putting the fictional character of Margery Arkewright, greatest shepherdess in Avalon, on the shelf for a couple of years and will in the meantime join a court. I'm currently looking at Elizabeth de Burghersh, Baroness Despencer and as a result, need to make fancier garb. I've got the polysatin shell from some old blackout curtains I intend to line with a light linen and make my cotehardie, and some lovely bronze and black curtain material i'd like to make a surcote from. If I'm a little short on either material, I'm planning on doing a simple particolor between the two. Since we're trying to make more of a push for heraldic wear among the court of Edward III and his family, I looked into what arms might have been associated with her. She married into the Despencer family, whose arms are...something, alright

luckily, from what I can tell it looks like she inherited the barony of berghersh in her own right, and the associated arms are something I can work with

If everything works out, I'm considering a strip of red silk around the cuffs of the cotehardie with the lion embroidered at the wrist? If i have enough pretty red fabric (i may have a cheap velvet somewhere...) I may put a strip of velvet at the bottom of the surcote with the lions repeated around the hem. Just gotta fancy it up a little, ya know?

All that being said, that's my current WIPs, plans, and updates. I need to make some more garb for some locals so they're not fighting in denim and so they have more outfits to wear to different events.

[buffyfan145]

Was thinking again about Haladriel and the whole “I would make you a queen” thing and realizing if that had happened a few historical royal couples they actually reminded me of. :D I’ve always been fascinated by Queens and historical romance novels that are based off them, especially in the British royal family, so I easily started to think of actual royal couples that Haladriel were reminding me of and weirdly enough Tolkien would’ve known of them all too. And there are plenty of books, movies, and TV shows about all of these couples if anyone wants to read/watch that I totally recommend, especially since it could work as AUs in some cases. Putting behind a cut since this is a long post and it’s in historical order too.

1. Elizabeth of York & King Henry VII 

This couple is what first came to mind to me, especially since the actors who played them in the miniseries “The White Princess” even looked like Morfydd and Charlie (and there’s now fanart that’s using images from this miseries for Haladriel). LOL :D Elizabeth’s parents were King Edward IV and Elizabeth Woodville and her mom was the first commoner to marry a king. At first everything was fine for the House of York (White) when they took over the throne from Lancaster (Red) during the Wars of the Roses but then it all turned dark as her dad died unexpectedly, her brothers went missing and likely were murdered, and her uncle King Richard III became obsessed with her and even wanted to marry her. Henry Tudor (Hal is normally is nickname for Henry) was the last hope of the Lancaster house and would start the Tudor line and he actually killed Richard III in a massive battle. After Henry was crowned king the families stuck a deal to unite the houses again under Tudor and Henry and Elizabeth married. It was arranged but they actually fell in love and are to this day considered one of the actual love matches between any royal couple in history as neither of them cheated and were so devoted to each other. After Elizabeth died Henry never married again, which was uncommon in those days, and mourned her for the rest of his life. It’s also why Elizabeth is refereed to as the Queen of Hearts and is the queen shown on the playing card. I’m also getting the latest book on them from Alison Weir soon from the library and I’ll make a separate review post but have seen really good reviews for it so I’m excited to read it.

2. Queen Elizabeth I & Robert Dudley 

I made a separate post about this already but there’s lots in common here too. This Elizabeth was the granddaughter of our first couple, the daughter of Henry III and Anne Boylyn, and considered one of the best queens in history.  Even though she never married she had a long relationship with her childhood friend turned love Robert Dudley. Robert was from a family that served the royals but was tainted at first as both his father and grandfather were considered traitors. It was something he and Elizabeth had in common as her mother was killed by her own father.  Then during her sister Mary’s reign both Elizabeth and Henry were imprisoned in the Tower of London thinking they were both going to be killed. This likely is what bonded them for the rest of their lives and turned their friendship into love even though he was married.  Then they were saved and Elizabeth became Queen after her sister died and Robert was at her side as one of her trusted advisors. They kept up their relationship all through till Robert died in his 50s and even though he was married twice. She couldn’t marry or she would lose power due to the rules in those days as she was expected to give power to him so she could have children, and over time he grew to accept that even though he wanted to be her husband. A lot of us now consider him the unofficial consort since he pretty much did have that role till he passed and Elizabeth never loved anyone else like she did with him. And of course Cate Blanchett playing both Elizabeth and Galadriel.

3. Catherine the Great & Grigory Orlov

Going with the Russian royal family here this also reminded me Haladriel in an AU where like Catherine she would take the throne from the husband she hated and rule for the rest of her life. Grigory was her main ally and her main lover for the rest of his life and they had at least 2 kids out of wedlock too as she never remarried after her husband Peter was killed. She did have a son Paul with Peter though who was still her heir. It was Grigory who helped her create her plan and launch the coup that took out Peter. The show “The Great” on Hulu changed this a lot but the actual story fits more here so no gif to use.

4. Queen Victoria & Lord M & Prince Albert & John Brown

This is a tricky one as Queen Victoria was in love 3 times so you can see Haladriel being any or all of the 3 relationships. LOL It started when she became Queen and her prime Minister Lord Melbourne also became her private secretary.  They two of them bonded over so much despite their age difference and fell in love. Most modern historians agree like the show “Victoria” that there were feelings there but neither one acted on them knowing they couldn’t be together. They had 3 years together too before she married and he lost the election, but it’s pretty much known now he was her first love and she was his last as he died a couple years later. She did name her daughter Alice in honor of him as that was his favorite girl’s name and it’s possible that could’ve been the name of his own daughter who died years earlier (her gravestone never had her name on it as she was still a baby). Then Albert came into Victoria’s life oddly enough with Lord M’s blessing and he helped arrange the marriage even saying Albert was like a younger version of himself. Victoria and Albert’s relationship is also considered a great love story among the royal family even with how heated their fights were thanks to people at the palace and other prime ministers writing about it. LOL They also had 9 kids so even with the fighting there was also that between them.  I would recommend watching “The Young Victoria” to get more of their story as personally the TV show was ok with this but the chemistry between Victoria and Lord M overshadowed everything else (which is what I’m worried about with “Rings of Power” and whoever they cast as Celeborn).  Then sadly Albert died young and Victoria was so distraught after his death that she only wore black for the rest of her life/almost 40 years  But she did fall in love again with her Scottish servant John Brown, which there’s a great movie about “Her Majesty, Mrs. Brown” with Judi Dench.  It was another major thing as queens didn’t fall in love with servants and they tried to keep this a secret but it got out and historians found more about it too. But they bonded over the loneliness and John brought happiness back into her life.

5. Princess Louise & Joseph Edgar Bohem

This couple is a newer one I found out about last year thanks to the novel “An Indiscreet Princess” and looking up the history so no gif here either, as this was Queen Victoria’s daughter Louise and the decades long love story she had with her art teacher/sculptor Joseph/Edgar (he was called by both names LOL). They fell in love when she was allowed to attend an art university (she was the first royal to do so) and even though she had to marry they kept up their relationship, eventually with her husband John’s ok as there’s a lot to suggest now that John was gay and their marriage was more arranged. Louise was never able to have children either due to an illness she had as a child so they never had to worry about any children out of wedlock and she and Joseph/Edgar stayed together till he died.  They also both became famous sculptors/artists with their works all over England, Canada, and Australia. So turns out she and her mom were very alike in their relationships, similar now comparing Galadriel, Celebrían, and Arwen.

6. Princess Margaret & Peter Townsend

This is another one that’s more recent but everything that happened between Margaret and Peter just breaks my heart. They weren’t allowed to be together because of the rules at the time, their age difference, and him being divorced even though they loved each other. Thankfully they reunited again in the years leading up to his death but still just sad they couldn’t be together.  This all has been so well done and shown in “The Crown”.

There’s likely more out there but these are the ones I’m more familiar with and would suggest reading/watching more about. :)

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Ebony Black

The ballroom floor was crowded with people dancing as the music play, many party goers buzzed from the cider or drunk off the party's atmosphere. It makes sense for it's a ball celebrating the turning clock of another year of age of one of England's most lovely women.

The very lady of the hour stands still staring out the large glass window of the ballroom, her long wavy locks of golden curls tied up in a gentle curled and rolled up with her long strain rest against the left side of her face, her ears wearing polished pearls much like the many rows around her neck like a tightly snug noose, her gown well kept and not wrinkled in the slightest as she wears her long elegant white gloves and her high heeled shoes peek out under the lace of the skirt just so lightly. Indeed, she has given up her childish short heeled shoes long ago since the whole rumor mill of her engagement cut and the criminal gossip around it. She still can't quite look at the newspaper articles without feeling sick now a days.

"Would you like to dance Lady Elizabeth?"

The voice of a man takes the maiden out her fogged thoughts, her spring green eyes looking to a blond man dressed in a military suit, a cocky grin on his face. With a meek smile, she shook her head, "No thanks. I'm alright right now." She watched as her smile fades as he walks away with a not so hidden scowl. With a sigh she muttered, "Busy bees the lot of them." "My my that's a sudden tongue." Elizabeth whips her head around to see a handsome man with long hair of silver that work well with his beautiful silver coin eyes dressed in fine white with shiny metals on his breasts holding a campaign glass in his black gloved hand. "Grey, hello again." She Elizabeth with a smile and a lighter tone of welcome in her voice for she truly means it as he was simply one of many who have been beside her and her family's side after the whole parade of madness that was the media and trauma.

"Happy birthday My Lady." Said he with a grin that shines, causing a giggle to escape soft pink petal lips. "Thank you so much Charles, you're so sweet." Though the gesture was sweet indeed, Lizzie indeed felt something amidst. "I believe I saw Edward go to the gardens by himself, sure is getting dark-" "I'll go check on him for you."

Lizzie giggles as she watches him hurry out after taking the bait like a bird begging for worms. The two have been painfully obvious for the last few months so it's only natural they see each other away wandering eyes.

She wishes she felt that way again...

As the clock chimes the next hour, Lizzie felt her power hit the bottom of the dance floor. She used to love parties but no they have grown dull. She used to love being a butterfly in center of attention, but now she hated the eyes on her judging her every move awaiting for her to burst. She used to lavish in the moment, but now she just wants to hide away in shame.

Shame of never knowing the difference of her fiance. Shame of "leaving" her fiance and his brother behind. Shame of not once accepting a proposal years later. Shame to have never...accepting that stoic handsome face sooner.

After the entire thing the Midford family worked together with the Phantomhive and Trancy family names as the Queen's Guard Dog and the Funtom business as per pleading request of Lizzie herself. It's honest decent. It distracts her mind and heart from the sudden shift of field. Not at her ex fiance or his twin brother whom she cared for just the same, but to a butler dressed in black with eyes a beautiful red bead color. Lizzie hates herself for thinking of her and him possibly being alone in the garden walks she does when she reads a case. She hates herself for cursing a kiss goodnight from him every night when she feel melancholy. And she hates always thinking on what he said that one day many months ago when he suddenly had to take a leave of absence, his words of confirmation of his much strong affection towards her despite him knowing he can't be with her due to his status as a butler but also as she and her family now know... a demon.

The door open suddenly, the room growing quiet with some whispering murmurs and stares of awe, the sounds of footsteps echoing across the marble floors polish in sparkles as many people stare.

A shadow appears out the ways of the crowd, a shadow of a tall man with hair dark as black combed back and the longer pieces tied back in a bright pink ribbon bow tied tightly dressed in a fine white attire with flares of red and blacks as if the elements were battling right among his skin, a elegant appearance he holds as he's dressed in jewels of many kinds and shiny items that seem like metals if you look closely, his handsome face perfect framed in the shadows and glow of candle lights and the night sky just outside the large bask windows including the large ceiling as his dark eyes shine in a wondrous awe.

With each step he took, his footsteps echo around and into Lizzie's soul as she slowly catches memories of the very man from his gentle smile and that warm glow of his red eyes.

Suddenly, he stops right in front of her and bows much like how a prince does in fairy tale books, his voice deep and gentle, "I am Sir Lord Banishes Calamities, I have came all the way from my homeland to wish you a very happy birthday, dear Lady Elizabeth. And, if you are so kind, I would like to wish you a birthday blessing in a form of a dance if I may so beg?"

Lizzie glanced to her family as her heart swell at the slight plea of his voice, she can tell they know very well who this man is, and she know well that they know her feelings of this moment. She had swore many years ago to never hide from her family again.

So, with a smile, she reaches her hand out and gently took the hand before her. Instantly, the feeling of everyone else has long since disappear from the room. It was just her and him, him and her. Together.

As they dance under the dark sky, Lizzie felt her heart swore in new heights. He may be a demon from Hell, yes, but tell me how she felt like she was in a new found Heaven when she's this close to him.

Her heart swoon more and more with each elegant spin and dip from the mysterious male before her, of course only he can add the flares of the countless fight dances they faced together.

"I must admit, you surprised me." She spoke softly, feeling a drunk flush cover her face in warmth of his senses new her's as her heart beats right against her breast so hard. Sebastian smiles down to her and spins her once more as he speaks low to her, "Well I did say I couldn't be with you due to my status of a butler correct? I figured me showing my status as Lord is more acceptable." Green orbs blink fast as she stares at him, her voice a squeak of shock, "You're a actual Lord?" The demon simple chuckles as he dips her, his face near her neck as if a realistic vampiric creature, the two can simply feel their souls connecting as one as they also hear a new sound...Two hearts beating as one.

Lizzie smiles softly to herself as she gently rubs the golden band coated in a rather large shiny diamond and two rubies and two emeralds on her thin finger. If she could go back and talk with that little girl who made a promise to hide her fencing and be cute and worthy of protecting for the sake of her 8 year old fiance she would happily tell her all the chapters of her engagement and married life of a wonderful man and give birth to their lovely daughter.

The same lovely daughter who stands so still out the largest window of the manor eyeing the road in the front of the courtyard pass the thick floral trees until a black carriage of two come to view. "Mama! Mama! They're here!" Pipped Bell, her seemingly mature appearance shattering into the form of a child in guise of a young teenage lady dressed in dark green as she runs down the halls to the door.

Lizzie giggled and hurried after after she hikes her skirt up to run her flat heeled boots against the floor.

"I feel so terrible. You and I just got wed and I will have to leave you alone."

Lizzie smiled to her new husband, both sitting on a picnic blanket with a bunch of beautifully adorable treats and tea sat ready before the two, the spring sun high above them as she swore a soft yellow gown with short heeled shoes of a pink color and her hair down her back while he wore a simple white button up and black pants with a yellow tie around his neck and dark red vest unbuttoned on his stomach area with his hands and feet bare with his toes buried in the cold water.

Her gentle arms wrap around his strong one and snuggled her face to his shoulder as she speaks, "It'll be alright Sebastian. Obviously you still have your duties as a butler of a Earl Phantomhive. Besides, we'll still see each other when we work on cases and you can visit as much as you may." Sebastian's eyes slowly scan away from his wife, he honestly looks...bashful?

"Yes but...what'll happen if you and I...have a child?"

Two hand held together as they watch the scene unfold of the children talking and bonding as always. Beside on Lizzie's left was Doll, Ciel, and Alois while on Sebastian's right was Hannah and Angela.

"Honestly, I still scratch my head at the idea of what things used to be." Said Doll after looking as Albert and Rachel make flower crowns and place them on both Brair's and Bella's heads. The blond girl couldn't help but giggle in response, "I couldn't agree more. But that's a good thing, yes?"

This is a part two of my previous fic, Angel Belladonna Cake which was written for @sebalizzie, @annoyinglyshinycherryblossom, and @nullb1rdbones

[statecryptids]

YULETIDE BOOK REVIEW

The Wimbourne Book of Victorian Ghost Stories, Volume 1

Edited and with an Introduction by Alastair Gunn

Winter is the season of ghosts. As the nights grow longer and the days colder, as the trees turn to twisted skeletons and the land itself goes to sleep, it is said that the walls between worlds grow thin, allowing the dead- and other, stranger spirits- to step into our world. If you look at Yule traditions outside of America, you’ll find hordes of ghosts, witches, trolls, household spirits, and other things creeping around the outside walls or hiding behind the stove.

This Yuletide spookiness underlies the British tradition of telling ghost stories around Christmas. When you hear “Christmas ghosts” you probably think of Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol” (and maybe also the line about how “there’ll be scary ghost stories” from the song “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”).  But this was just one among many in a long history of tales. And indeed, it was only one among man Christmas ghost story Dickens wrote.  

Winter ghost stories have been told in Europe for centuries, but in Britain the tradition really took off in the Victorian period. These tended to be what you might call “cozy” stories. The protagonists were often well-to-do or at least comfortably off. The hauntings frequently took place in or around a stately manor or otherwise well-furnished dwelling. These were tales meant to spook, but not horrify. Something to create a little creepy fun on a cold winter’s night. What M.R. James called “a pleasing terror”.

The Wimbourne Book of Victorian Ghost Stories is actually a series of anthologies collecting dozens of ghostly tales from the late 19th and early 20th centuries.  Each volume has a theme for the included authors, and this first volume focuses on women writers of British ghost stories.

Though many of these tales ae meant to be light, there are still plenty with a gothic sense of dread such as Elizabeth Gaskell’s “The Old Nurse’s Story”, or Isabella Banks “Wraith-Haunted”. Others are quieter, moody encounters such as Amelia B. Edwards “How the Third Floor Knew the Potteries”, or Louisa Baldwin’s “How He Left the Hotel” (I’m particularly fond of the latter tale because I find the thought of being an elevator-operator in a haunted hotel oddly quaint and charming).

Some stories are just short descriptions of ghostly encounters, such as Mary Louisa Molesworth’s “The Story of the Rippling Train”, or Ellen Wood’s “Seen in the Moonlight”. Then there are tales that are phantasmagoric enigmas such as Rhoda Broughton’s “The Man With the Nose” which has lots of Freudian and even feminist themes to it.

Many of the stories are written as if they were transcriptions of a narrator relating a story to friends- likely because they were meant to be read out loud to an audience gathered around the fireplace. The effect gives the tales a distinct feel that can take some getting used to. Also, some of the cultural attitudes can be dissonant or off-putting at times coming as they do from a society and time period obsessed with class and maintaining social mores. Though the only story that really falls flat is Lilian Giffen’s “The Ghost of the Belle-Alliance Plantation” which relies on a weird racist trope for its big jump-scare moment.

Overall, however, there is enough variety in the tones and themes of these stories that a reader will likely find several favorites. You can get a copy of the Wimbourne Book of Victorian Ghost Stories: Volume One right here.

[fideidefenswhore]

She is of middle stature, and is in face like her father, especially about the mouth, but has a voice more manlike, for a woman, than he has for a man. To judge by portraits, her neck is like her mother's. With a fresh complexion she looks not past 18 or 20 although she is 24. Her beauty is mediocre, and it may be said that she is one of the belles of this Court  (fn. 2)  

She is active, and apparently not delicate, loving morning exercise and walking often two or three miles. She speaks and writes French well. Saw letters of hers in French, written to the Emperor's ambassador in the time of her “ennuy.” She understands Latin and enjoys books of “lettres humaines,” which were her solace in sleepless nights at the time she was molested. She delights in music and plays the spinnet “singulièrement.” In conversation, together with sweetness and benignity, she is prudent and reserved. The chamber woman says that when her mother was first repudiated she was sick with “ennuy,” but, on being visited and comforted by the King, soon recovered and has had no such illness since. Her physician and apothecary are Spaniards, and to enquire of them would arouse suspicion; but the apothecary once told Marillac that he never gave her anything but light things, “comme casses, conserves et semblables drogues,” which she took more often because it was her father's command than because she needed them. The chamber woman thinks her of a disposition to have children soon, if married. Has tried to get a portrait of her, but no painter dare attempt it without the King's command.

[2] Kaulek suggests that a negative is omitted either in the first or second part of this sentence, and that Marillac must have meant either that her beauty was not mediocre or that she was not one of the belles of this Court. But may he not have meant that the beauties of the English court were commonplace?

[bethanydelleman]

Possible Other Book Pairings Part 1: Pride & Prejudice

I’m kind of a strange JAFF writer because I have very few One True Pairings. The only pairing in Jane Austen I will not mess with is Henry Tilney and Catherine Morland because I love them too much. I’ll happily kill Elizabeth Bennet or make her and Darcy never meet. And I am always trying to get Fanny away from Edmund. I might write up some of these in the future, but here are my possible cross book pairings for P&P characters:

I wrote a Persuasion and P&P crossover (which you can currently read for free) and spoilers, the pairings were Louisa Musgrove & Bingley, Anne & Darcy, Elizabeth & Wentworth, Jane & Captain Benwick, and Caroline & Mr. Elliot (he likes her, it’s fine). I also prevented the Wickham/Lydia debacle and Mary married Mr. Collins.

Northanger Abbey: I think Darcy would be interested in Eleanor Tilney, but he’d probably see Catherine as a little sister. Bingley might be drawn in by Isabella Thorpe but he’d get over her pretty fast. Caroline divides her flirting time between Frederick Tilney and Darcy. I think Elizabeth would find Henry Tilney fun but I don’t know if they would actually work as a couple (they both like to talk too much). I think Jane might be better suited to Henry. Lydia would probably actually like John Thorpe and would definitely be BFFs with Isabella.

Emma: Emma and Darcy would probably like each other but that pairing would be THE WORST and WE CANNOT ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN. I am fairly certain that Darcy wouldn’t agree to move to Hartfield full time so we are safe. Emma and Darcy are basically the same person and I think they’d bring out the absolute worst in each other. Bingley would probably like Jane Fairfax, and I could see Frank Churchill being interested in Georgiana (aged up a little), though he’d flirt with Elizabeth. I think Elizabeth would be happy with John Knightley. Lydia and Kitty would be all gaga over the Hot Preacher Mr. Elton, but as he’s looking for money he’d be after the newly rich Miss King. Charlotte makes a play for Mr. Woodhouse. I could also see Jane being happy with Mr. Weston.

Sense and Sensibility: Darcy would probably love Elinor and hate Marianne. Bingley goes for Marianne’s looks, not sure if he would like her personality... but to be honest he might find it endearing. Lucy Steele would be ready to try for both Darcy and Bingley, probably focusing on the easier mark of Bingley. I think he would see through her and Darcy certainly would. Wickham would try for Sophia Grey. Elizabeth would probably love Willoughby and then be disgusted by him when she found out the truth. I could see Jane liking Colonel Brandon. I’m not sure if anyone pairs well with Edward… maybe Jane? Jane can’t marry everyone! Lydia and Kitty would be all over Willoughby but probably dismiss Colonel Brandon as too old. None of the men are rich enough for Caroline.

Mansfield Park: Bingley has trouble picking between the two beautiful Miss Bertrams but settles on Julia because she actually has an okay personality. Darcy is completely uninterested in them, but is drawn in by Mary Crawford. He clues in to her amorality WAY FASTER than Edmund and then falls for Fanny because she is awesome (she also activates Saviour Complexes and we know Darcy has one of those). Elizabeth would probably like Henry Crawford but if he tried the flirting-with-multiple-sisters thing she would shut him down (because she actually has good sister relationships). I could see Edmund maybe getting together with Jane. Caroline tries for Tom Bertram, since he’s the heir, and has very little success because she’s not a racehorse and that’s what he’s into right now. Lydia and Kitty fawn over William Price with all his exciting sea journeys. Henry Crawford probably wouldn’t actually marry.

(And yes, I leave out Mary Bennet a lot, I just don’t find her very interesting or likable...)

[therealvinelle]

Hii! Your blog is amazing, your twilight analysis are so interesting and i agree with a lot of them.

I would like to know your opinion on Rosalie ?

I think her character had so much potential, and smeyer just tried to write her as a shallow bitch and is so unfair.

I think Rosalie is very different from how she’s presented to us. She’s presented pretty much as you describe, shallow and bitchy. But, I don’t think that’s congruent with what we see of her.

The big thing, to me, that we only see her through the eyes of highly biased people. Edward has made up his mind about her, Bella’s view is informed by Edward and her own insecurity, and Jacob sees her as the bitchy vamp who’s helping Bella commit suicide.

There’s her dislike of Bella, the big thing in the books (unsurprisingly, since Bella is our narrator and doesn’t handle being disliked well), but I don’t find that damning. Sometimes people don’t like each other, it happens.

The thing about Rosalie’s dislike of Bella, is that it’s blown out of proportion. Rosalie doesn’t have any dislike towards Bella as a person, not at all, and she makes that clear at every turn. Bella as a person is just fine, she’s glad Edward found someone. It’s Bella’s life choices, and what Bella represents, that offends Rosalie. She disapproves of the former, and the latter, well, that’s just depressing for her.

At no point in canon is Rosalie bitchy, or catty towards Bella. She seeks her distance and sends some grade A angry glares, and that’s it. Not one snide comment (and we see with how she is with Edward or Jacob that she’s very capable of that) directed at Bella, no petty Regina George moments, nothing. On the contrary, by Eclipse Rosalie appears to have accepted Bella as family. Family she’d rather see leave the Cullens and vampirism behind for a bright human future, but in a world of «us» and «them» Bella has become an «us» nonetheless. (I’m basing this on Rosalie being 100% on board with protecting Bella from Victoria, cost what it may, and choosing to confide in her the most traumatic moment of her life so Bella will understand her and rethink her choices.)

A significant, and to me telling moment is in Midnight Sun, before Bella is taken to meet the Cullens. Edward pulls Rosalie aside to talk about this, and they have an open conversation about how Rosalie feels about it and why she’s been so negative about it. She makes it clear that it’s got nothing to do with jealousy, the problem is that she’s watching this girl throw away everything Rosalie ever wanted like it’s nothing. It’s painful to watch, bringing up all the demons. They talk it through, and Rosalie agrees to try and be accepting, on the condition that Edward doesn’t ask too much of her too soon. She’s going to try and work on this.

«Good talk,» Edward says, and proceeds to ask too much of her. Would Rosalie mind being Bella’s welcome committee into the family? See, she’s coming over in a few hours.

Rosalie throws her hands in the air, and boycotts Bella’s introduction.

Edward proceeds to tell Bella that Rosalie’s not there because she’s jealous.

Mere hours later, the Cullens are all in danger, and Rosalie questions right in front of Bella whether this girl they barely know is worth being risking their lives.

As far as first impressions made on both Bella and the reader, Rosalie got a spectacularly bad one, and it’s not one that gets better as she continues to set her own boundaries, up until Breaking Dawn when Bella finally makes a choice she can approve of.

Then there’s the fact that Rosalie is living with a telepath who will judge her for her every thought and misrepresent her, so speaking her mind at the cost of brutal honesty no one wants to hear is as much her personality as it is a survival tactic. She has accepted her place as the bad guy, so to say, the Cordelia of the group who will say what no one wants to hear but should be said. She’s the one who asks why they’re all risking it for Bella in Twilight, the one who takes it upon herself to tell Edward that Bella’s dead. Unfortunately for her, Bella and Edward are fragile people who can’t handle it.

Overall, while Rosalie has her less endearing moments (voting to kill Bella because she wanted to continue living in Forks comes to mind), she’s generous and mature. Setting boundaries and speaking her mind is no sin, but our narrators make it out to be.

(Also, and I think this is best saved for another post on Edward and Rosalie specifically, but with regards to the jealousy and Edward’s fixating on it, I think he is in fact jealous of her, and projects. He’ll never admit it, not even to himself, but... the thing is, when he tells the story of how Carlisle turned him, he removes Elizabeth Masen’s plea from the equation entirely, even in his Midnight Sun inner monologue, making it out to be that Carlisle chose him of his own accord. Rosalie is the one Carlisle chose with no outside prompting (quite the opposite, with Rosalie Carlisle had Edward telling him not to do it, yet he insisted). She’s the one Carlisle looked at and said “I can’t leave this one to die”, yet Edward not only makes it out to be that this is how it happened in Chicago, but also fables that Rosalie was turned for his sake. He seems to view Rosalie as competition for their father’s affection, and retcons things so Carlisle is all about him, which is why I speculate that jealousy could be a factor here.)

[extremelyblackandwhite]

illicit affairs

pairing: sheriff lee bodecker x younger! reader

warnings: smut (18+), cheating, age gap

a/n: i love perfumes which smell of daisies so i made the reader use something like that. i do imagine her going for a very much female appearance and aura despite her personality and i can see lee fancying that sort of fragile femininity look paired with her independency. this song is based of illicit affairs from taylor swift but i was also listening to all too well at some points so i think some of that passed onto the writing. hope you enjoy xx

> DRESS

Leave the perfume on the self that you picked up just for him so you leave no trace behind like you don’t even exist. Take the words for what they are a dwindling, mercurial high, a drug that only worked the first few hundred times ... And you wanna scream don’t call me “kid”, don’t call me “baby”, look at this idiotic fool that you made me. You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else. And you know damn well for you I would ruin myself a million little times ...

The snow settled onto the ground, a view she could see from her white window. Sprawled against her window pane, the blue soft fabric of her dress cascaded down her body as she watched the snow fall and become one with the mass of white covering the once green grass of her home. Her feet dangled in anticipation, hair cascading into hairdresser set curls, held away from her face with a pearl barrette. Her fingers dangled across her collarbones, feeling the cold matching pearls which unlike her barrette clip, had been offered to her by Lee on thanksgiving. “A pretty girl like you deserves her own pearls” his voice echoed in her mind whenever her feeling felt the smooth irregular circle shapes of the pearls laying against her collarbones. There was nothing more than she wanted than to wear those pearls to the police winter ball, to show up wearing something he had bought for her with what money he gathered from his fickle Captain position, but she couldn’t. Everyone knew what she had, what jewellery she had, it was all valued at the insurance centre downtown and the pearl necklace definitely wasn’t. Her own pearls rested inside her ivory jewellery box along with the ribbon she was wearing around her waist when she first kissed him, and the comb that held her hair in place whenever she met him during windy nights. 

Her grandmother had left before her, leaving with the grocery shop owner as her date for the ball but she had stayed behind. She had told her she’d rather go alone, blaming her loneliness on the fact all the boys her age were either engaged thus going with their wives and the single ones not wanting to do with her. Of course that was further from the truth and as she watched the snow fall, she imagined Lee’s cruiser driving through the snow, stopping in front of her home and knocking on her door to take her. But those were nothing but impossible scenarios created from the deepest part of her psyche. Looking over her shoulder, the clock on her bedside table shone 9PM into bold red letters. She should get going before her grandmother got worried. Her eyes lingered across her beauty parlour to the silver platter with her perfume, the one she’d picked just for him after hearing how much he loved the smell of daisies. She had to leave it, she couldn’t put any perfume on, she couldn’t take her pearls, she doesn’t exist. At least, she as Lee’s lover does not exist for all that everyone could know and nothing hurt more than the sound of her pearls returning to her ivory box. It was were they belonged, away from everyone, hidden, a mysterious sin secret. 

With her white fur wrapped around her arms, she entered her glossy yet dull red car, pulling the hood up despite the weather. She wanted to feel the cold, she wanted that numbness to hide what she had been feeling for the last months. It was all so exhilarating when it began; the summer walks, laying in the middle of the forest in an old towel as he feed her ripe strawberries, escaping from her grandmother’s house at night and meeting him up under the apple tree in light dresses. However, at time wind down, she started to crave the rest of a relationship, the holding of hands. Instead what she got was clandestine meetings in parking lots, behind the bars or in the middle of the forest when no one could see them. She constantly told herself it was going to eventually be her turn, he was gonna leave Jane for her. Yet, she seemed to constantly fall on the same error every mistress before her did, the mistake of forgetting her place. Stopping in front of the old town hall where the ball was being held, she could see the soft lights, hear the laughter and it made her sick. She didn’t want to go in, she didn’t want to see those happy couples but she had too. She had to put up a show, be the little pedestal trouble starter woman she was expected to be and so she would. 

Stepping into the hall, her eyes immediately found Lee in the corner speaking with the Sheriff, arm draped over Jane’s shoulder while the other hand held a clear cup probably with his favourite drink. Her heart sunk to the same place it always did as she got lost in the dance floor. She knew everyone in this town hall, from the first boy she ever kissed Jonah and his third wife Elizabeth to Billy whom had been prom king with her. There was nothing new anymore and what once felt new and true was now anchoring her inside a fishbowl of images of her own mistakes and unfulfilled life needs. 

      - Hey, Y/N. - Billy called out for her attention. She held onto the fur wrapped around her for comfort as she prepared her facade of a happy girl at a happy party. - Your grandma told me you ain’t gotta a partner for tonight. Could’ve told me, I would’ve taken you. 

      - It’s ok, ain’t like I need a man. - she replied, almost angrily although he deserved no anger from her. - What’s the stage for? We’re getting a band tonight?

      - No, the new sheriff candidates announcing themselves tonight. Prepare for the blood bath. 

      - Sounds interesting. - she spoke out, her voice getting mumbled out as the mic’s sound hurt her and everyone else’s ear. The police chief stood there in his best attire, holding a small piece of papers, his fat thumbs hitting the mic to gather everyone’s attention. He already had their attention merely by wearing a cowboy’s hat with a formal suit. 

       - Now folks, we all now how much we gonna miss our good old Sheriff but it’s time to elect a new one. - his southern accent was pronounced, too pronounced, cartoonish even. Y/N remembered laughing as a child when she first heard him speak only to immediately shut up when her grandmother looked her way with a look which left room for no questions. She herself had barely developed an accent, her grandmother still very keen on instilling in her the education she herself had gotten. However, the longer she spent with Lee, the more it would sometimes slip; one or two words, nothing major. - Of course, Leroy is running again.

     - I don’t know why he tries. - Y/N whispered to Billy, concealed laughing smile behind her hand. 

     - You gotta admit it’s a good thing to imagine. Damned Leroy and his prostitutes running the town? We’d be forgotten by God.

     - We’re already forgotten by God. We were banished from the garden of Eden, don’t you remember? - she teased, always enjoying to toy around with the religion Knockemstiff was so hang up on. - We’re probably direct descendants. 

     - You ought to keep that mouth shut if you don’t wanna get in trouble. - he warned yet it went through deaf ears. Y/N liked stirring it, specially when it came to things which were so analytically flawed. 

The regular list of candidates continued to go from officers to common folk who all believed they could make the town better. At least that was all they said they wanted to get some votes but at the end of the day, they just wanted to control the town with an iron fist. Do what they wanted without anyone question it. She couldn’t blame it, humans are hardwired to go crazy for power and let it consume them so she just let it pass. She knew all the candidates, they were always the same. Leroy, Matthew, Edwards ... all the common ones, she even wondered why they kept announcing it. Those three competing for the sheriff position was as certain as the sun coming up each morning. 

      - The last candidate is our cap’tain Bodecker. - her head snapped to the stage as every sound seemed to dim until she was surrounded by pure silence. All she could hear was the buzz from her ears as she watched him climb up the stairs to the stage, shaking the chief’s hands. 

Everything seemed to be stuck in slow motion yet her mind was running faster than a shot bullet. The clapping was slow, everything was silent yet she could see their hands slowly clap and their lips moving in whispers. Her eyes roamed the crowd finding Jane right in front of the stage, looking up at him with adoration at the possible place she could possible hold; the sheriff’s wife. The slow motion ended with a loud crash and suddenly everything seemed just too fast. She ignored Billy’s pleas for her attention and moved straight to the small plastic tables covered in burgundy towels to make it look fancier where all the drinks and food were being held. One of her only friends from high school Mary was the one in charge, happily serving food and drinks to anyone who asked.

     - Hi Y/N. - she always looked like the perfect housewife and that was always what she wanted to be. Beautiful, bountiful blonde hair with a few flowers matching her pink dress. Despite it all, she was always nice to her even with their different life goals. 

     - Hey Mary. How’s Paul? I heard from rumours you two had quite a nice honeymoon. St.Louis, right? 

     - Yes. He booked us a nice honeymoon suite, it had flowers and those heart shaped beds and chocolates. It was real nice, I’m hoping to be pregnant soon. What about you? Your grandmother said you came alone. You could’ve told me, my brother would’ve taken you.

    - That’s alright, Mary. I don’t intend to stay for long ... Uhm, can I have a drink?

    - Of course. Sidecar, as per usual? 

    - I think I’ll just have a double cognac, please. Or maybe some gin ... whatever can make me dizzy the fastest.

    - Everything, okay?

    - Just need to forget some stuff, it’ll be okay. - she forced a smile. At least half that phrase was true. Mary served her up with her best gin and she returned to the dance floor, trying to blend with the rest of the attendees, however her baby blue dress was much too different from anything else in town. 

Y/N thought she’d be best outside where no one could see her and so she left, avoiding Billy who kept asking for her. She leaned against the old wood of the town hall, mascara running down her cheeks, and gin glass on the other one. She looked like the perfect warning tale of why you should not mess her married men. She knew better, she knew so much better but she still did it, like the idiotic little fool she seemed to be. Y/N sighed, the air condensing in the air as she drank from the glass.

     - Pull yourself together, Y/N. - she looked to see side, her grandmother standing outside with the look she used to give her when Y/N embarrassed her as a little girl. - What did you expect?

     - I’m just not having a good day, nana.

     - You’re hanging around with Captain Bodecker that’s what you’re doing.

     - What?

     - Don’t play innocent with me, Y/N. You’re just like your mother and I’ve raised your mother so I’d know. I saw you leave in his car last week. Do you want to defend yourself?

     - Is it even worth it? - she took a sip out of her drink. - What do you want me to say? 

     - I want you to pull yourself together and go inside. You better have this finished off before those elections start. I will not have my granddaughter be a home wrecker.

Y/N ignored it. There was nothing her grandmother could say that hurt more than what she was already feeling. She watched the snow fall from the cover of the banner covering the town hall, cold and icy yet somehow warmer than her. The drink didn’t last forever and although it was much stronger than what she was used to, she didn’t feel the slightest bit dizzy. It was if the universe was punishing her for her choices. She shook her head, leaving the glass onto one of the windows. She’d be better off at home and she’d already made her appearance. If someone asked where she was, she could’ve blamed it on their drunkness. Opening her little clutch, she started fishing for her keys through a sea of change, makeup and receipts. 

    - You better not be thinking of driving after you just drank. - she turned her head to see Lee with his hands on his waist, playfully smiling at her. His smile faded as he noticed the streaks of mascara from her eyes to her jaw. - Did that shithead Billy say something? 

     - No ... Lee, I wanna go home okay. - she sighed. - Can you just pretend you didn’t see me drink?

     - I was hoping we could spend the night together. Rent a hotel room outside town. A real nice place, with a pool and some room service. My treat of course.

     - I ... We can’t, Lee. Your wife is inside as she’s gonna notice you’re not there and you’re not home. 

     - She’s going home early. Jane’s been taking a few sleeping pills. She’s down for the night, won’t even notice. - he took a few steps closer to her, knowing everyone was too drunk to even remember. - I was waiting for you to come greet me, congratulate me. I can’t believe my girl wanted to leave before showing me how pretty she looked. 

     - You didn’t tell me you were running for Sheriff. - he cupped her face, thumb caressing her cheek. - You said it was a silly position.

     - Yeah but ... it’s a Sheriff. I could become Mayor, ya know. The old sheriff thinks I’d be good for it. - he scratched the back of his neck, something he always did whenever he was nervous or was confronted by something he did not expect. Y/N had learned to read him and knew him better than her own favourite books. - C’mon, kid. It’s a night worth celebrating, don’t you think?

     - Don’t call me kid. - she shot her head his way, his word hitting a particular hurt spot which she didn’t realise she had. 

     - Hey, I’m not trying to mock ya. - he rose his hands. - What’s wrong, huh baby? Hm? Tell me sugar, I hate it when you’re upset. Besides, if it was that Billy kid I’ve been wanting to give him a good beating.

    - Don’t call me baby, either. - she sighed, throwing her purse inside the car, before turning to him. - Billy didn’t do anything I’m just ... tired.

    - I’ll drive you home, then.

    - I don’t wanna go home either. - she pushed her hair from her forehead, looking at the ground. The snow engulfed her feet and her shoes, yet it might as well have engulfed her entire being. Lee noticed her lip trembling and how her free hand was trying to stop tears from falling down. He looked behind him, the town hall door shut, before taking his jacket off, draping it over her shoulders, and opening the car door for her. 

 Y/N daren’t look him in the eye, instead sitting in the passenger seat as he pushed the hood of her car up. After all, most people did not enjoy driving in the snow with the hood up. She didn’t know where he was taking her and for all it mattered she didn’t want to know. If he was driving her to her killing location, it sounded much better than having to work out through the bubbling feelings in her tummy. Y/N didn’t even noticed how much she was crying until the tears started streaming so fast they were falling onto the palms of her hands like diamond daggers. She leaned her head against his shoulder, watching the road ahead through the blurry orbs of her own eyes, trying to find some warmth through him. The drive seemed endless and her mind rushed in an even more endless way as she considered all her choices til now. She found it unbearable how not guilty she didn’t feel about it. She could still remember the feeling of the cold water against her body and his lips against hers, being tangled in his bed sheets while he drank a beer, his grunts as he thrusted into her inside his patrol car. She remembered every detail either it being lust or romantic but most importantly she remembered how he looked at her. It was almost as through rose coloured glasses, most of the times agreeing with her pessimist view of the town she was in. Lee looked down on her, watching her perfect hair break through the gelled curls she had set down. He never liked the polished look anyway, he loved to see her walk in her white dresses and freshly washed hair flowing with the wind. This woman sat next to him was gorgeous but he preferred his Y/N, he preferred the woman who would poke fun of casualty and rush into the woods with her nightgown. This woman next to him was pretty yes but she seemed tainted by a sadness he could see yet couldn’t help. He didn’t want his Y/N to be the slightest bit sad. She did not deserve it. She was too pure, too young to be consumed by the loneliness, darkness and sadness that came with being an adult. Yet again, he had to start learning the young woman she was wouldn’t stay young forever. He wanted to know how to help. he wanted to be the man who wakes up next to her on summer mornings and winter evenings but life is not how we plan it out to be.

She watched the snow fall from her window as “You are my sunshine” played on the background from her radio. Looking up to him, his eyes were glued to the road, the sign of leaving Knockemstiff way past them and the hotel on the horizon. She called it the Heartbreak hotel, with its red walls and luxurious nature. A more fancy place for those who wanted to give a better night to their mistresses but that was not why she called it the heartbreak hotel. It was due to the fact she ended up crying every time she or he left. While inside those walls, she could pretend they were Mr. and Mrs. Bodecker, young couple moved out of Knockemstiff on a romantic getaway yet she wasn’t Mrs. Bodecker, Jane was. She had seen who the future sheriff’s wife was and it was not and it would never be her. He stopped the car in the parking lot, looking at her who was lost in thought, leaned against his shoulder.

   - Come on, sugar. What is it? - Lee kissed the top of her head. - The heck happened in that Town Hall?

    - Just being silly, Lee. - she shook her head, faking a smile. - Just don’t like parties one bit.

    - I hate ‘em too, sugar. All show no action. Besides no party is a party without my baby. - he hooked his ring finger under her chin, softly pulling it up. She tried not to look at the moonlight illuminating the silver band around his finger, a symbol he belonged to someone else and she knew it. She had seen the wedding photo on his secretary, a much younger Lee with a much younger Jane with the facade of a happy marriage. Thinking about it always made her sick and ever since seeing that picture she couldn’t bring herself to do so. - Come on, let’s get you a bubble bath, yeah?

She followed him into the hotel almost in a zombie like state until the reception. The talk was a dance she had danced before, it was all the same. Lee would present money in cash so it wouldn’t show up on his credit card statement. He would sign in with a fake address but with his own name and no one would question it. After all, the staff wanted money, they didn’t care if it was an illicit affair or not. To be honest, she didn’t care much anymore.

     - Mrs. Bodecker? Mrs. Bodecker? - the receptionist called out to her but it didn’t even register until she was looking her into the eyes. Mrs. Bodecker, she was definitely not. - Would you like a complementary tea? You look cold.

     - No, it’s okay. - she smiled while Lee grabbed the keys. His hand wrapped itself around hers, leading her over to the elevator.

God, she wanted him. She really did, he thought to himself. It was an unbelievable feeling to have someone who loved him back, someone who always had encouraging words to tell him, someone who would stay after a fight. He thought and imagine what it would’ve been like if she was born earlier, god he would’ve courted her and would’ve married her the second they were out of high school. Sadly, the woman he loved was born 10 years after and he met her when he was married. He led her to the 13th hotel room and closed the door behind them.

     - Things are gonna be different when I’m sheriff. No more sneaking around, no one will dare  say a word. I can move to Brewer Heights, heck, I can buy two houses, one just for you and me.

    - Lee ...

    - Where are your pearls, sugar? You know I love to see you with them, makes you look so pretty.

    - You know I can’t wear them in public, Lee. I am not your ... - she shouldn’t say that, she should not let those words out. - They’re not insured under my name, people would comment about it.

     - You worry too much. - he pushed the fur that covered her arms down, placing a small kiss on her elbow. - My little over-thinker.

     - One of us has too, Captain Bodecker.

     - How about some champagne? - he pointed towards the champagne bottle in the ice bucket by the dresser before walking towards it, raising it so he could inspect the brand. He longed for the finest things in life, no longer wanting to be that middle to low class man he’d been forced to be. Being Sheriff, Mayor someday was going to be really something, it’d be his chance.

    - I’m not 21 yet, Captain.

    - Only a month til you are, kid. - he filled two long crystal flutes, handing it over to them. - By then I should stop calling you kid, huh?

    - You shouldn’t call me kid, now. - she took a sip of the golden liquid, hoping it would take away her jealousy. Lee hummed, leaned over to kiss the crock of her neck, climbing up to her jaw in a move that was sure to leave marks. It was okay for him to leave marks on her, she was unmarried, young but on him? Sometimes she wanted to, sometimes she wanted to mark his pale plump skin as a possession, one that screamed Jane might have the wedding ring but she had the man. Yet, she couldn’t. - You look so handsome tonight.

    - You’re my worse critic. - he smirked, placing his glass on the bedside table before pulling her chin towards him, placing a soft kiss on her plump, painted lips. - God, you can’t even imagine how fucking hard I got when you walked in.

    - Such gentle behaviour. - she teased, fingers lightly tracing the skin of his face. He moaned, leaning in to kiss her again. - I wore it just for you. Blue. I knw you like it.

    - You’re always such a good girl for me. - he started to remove his jacket, pushing on her chest lightly so she laid against the luxurious bed.

The alcohol sure did a better job than her about making her forget what she was doing it. The alcohol and his kiss, his touch on her skin made her forget the clench in her heart when she saw Jane Bodecker clap once they said his name. It made her forget she couldn’t hear perfume around him unless he showered, it made her forget. Both of her moaned through the kiss, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that it was a sin. Maybe that’s why it taste so sweet, the sin, the thrill. None of them cared really and all he wanted to do now was hold her, touch her, look at her.

    - You are so beautiful. - he spoke, more to himself than to her specifically, leaning down on the bed as he spread her legs, taking his place in between them which was so familiar to him. Lee ran his knuckles through the middle of her folds, cold hands making her shiver. - Ev’ry darn day I wake up and I think, I got myself the most beautiful woman in the world.

Her eyes were glued to the ceiling, the white paint of it engulfing her as his hands caressed her thighs. All she could feel were his cold hands massaging the skin of her thighs, spreading them apart and giving him full access to her. His lips attacked her core, always chapped which made her feel so good, it made her know it was him giving her that pleasure. She moaned out loud as he dwelled in like a starved man, her head relaxing against the pillow. There was never any mercy with him, he teased her like he owned her, focusing on her clit while licking her folds. He had her exactly where he wanted her - starving for him.

   - You’re gonna see. - he mumbled out while he relentlessly ate her out. - When I’m sheriff there will be no more hidin’. No one gonna dare say anythin’ about it.

   - Lee, please ... no foreplay. - she whined, begged even as he stopped his motions. His eyes curiously searched for hers, hands pulling his body up as he stood on top of her. - I just want to feel you.

   - Weren’t you feelin’ me, sugar?

   - You know what I mean, Lee. - she wrapped her hands around his neck, head cocked to the side. - I don’t want any foreplay today.

    - Oh sugar ... - he chuckled leaning down to kiss her collarbone. - You’re just a cock slut for me, aren’t ya? Can’t just wait for me to treat ya right ain’t it, baby?

     - Lee, please. - she whined, hands wavering over his police issued chunky belt. Lee smirked, holding her hand before she could do anything. Y/N pouted, head leaning against her shoulder. - C’mon.

   - But baby, you look so pretty when you’re begging. - he returned to kiss her neck, leaving marks which were sure to become hickeys tomorrow but she didn’t care. No one was going to see it. - I was expecting you to come congratulate me in the way you always do, maybe in the back of the town hall. Hoping someone would catch us so they’d see you’re my girl.

    -  Lee ... -  she whined as he kept kissing her neck and collarbones. - Please.

    - Tell me what you want, baby. You know I do everything you want. - he rose from her neck, toothy grin as he leaned down to kiss her plump, pink painted lips. - Tell me you want my big fat cock. I know you do, baby. Tell me how much you need it. 

  - Lee ... please, need you.

  - You have me, baby, tell me what you need. Tell me what you want. - his knuckles ran through the middle of her folds again. - You’re so wet, baby. Just tell me what you want, c’mon

  -  Lee ... please. - she looked at him with those wide eyes that could get someone to commit murder for her, as he pushed down his trousers. - I want you to fuck me with your ... big fat cock, Capitain. 

  - Oh, baby ... - he leaned his forehead against hers as he pushed his cock past her entrance, eyes shut tight  as he tried to keep himself sane at the mere feeling of her walls contracting against him. His lips found hers as he shed himself fully into her. Her hand searched for his, as Lee slowly rolled his hips against hers, basking in the mere high that was being inside of her. - You okay, baby? 

  - Yeah. ... fuck, move. - she whined as he removed himself from her and pushed back in, slowly starting to rock into her as he always did. The little tease. Her hand clenched his as he speed up his thrusts, lips returning to hers in a messy, moaned filled kiss. All she could hear was the sound of skin against skin and interrupted breathing. - Lee, fuck.

  - I know, baby. - he laughed, returning to kiss her the way he liked as her walls started to clench more forcefully against his member, milking him for all he was worth. His free hand grabbed her hip as he further sped up against her, bruising her skin as his breaths got more raggedy. He bite onto her neck as he felt his control over his own orgasm disappear. 

  - Lee, fuck! - she moaned, almost raising off the bed as her own orgasm washed over her. Her head fell against the pillow, sluggish as he continued to thrust into her until ropes and ropes of cum painted her walls. He chuckled mid grunt, holding her against him as he turned around in bed. 

  - You all fucked up, aren’t ya, sugar? - he kissed the top of her head. - You’re gonna see, sugar. Things are gonna be so much better.

  - Right ... - she cuddled against his chest. - Hm ... Lee can you drive me back home early on?

  - Early shift?

  - Yeah.

  - Okay, sugar.

The morning was a harsh breaker of dreamy hazes and just like that she was back to the place where she always was, in her home, surrounded by the scent of the perfume she had bought just for him. She sat on her dress, taking the necklace he had given her from the little mother of pearl seashell shaped box and holding them against her chest. She loved him, she really did. Some people had their downfalls and hers was painted onto her neck and held by her hands. He was her downfall. 

The sun was high up on the snowy midday in Knockemstiff and once again Lee had been resigned to desk duty after the Sheriff not taking it too lightly he decided to run without his permission. Normally he would’ve been upset but he knew, he knew he was close to winning and then he could throw away those stupid hotels and just get her a little house close to him. God, he couldn’t fucking wait.

    - Captain Bodecker, someone here for you. - his secretary knocked on his door. - Mary Gillies, sir. 

    - Mary Gillies? - he knew her to be a friend of Y/N’s, perhaps her only friend other than that punk Billy. - Send her in.

    - Good afternoon, captain. - she said as she walked into his office. - I’m so sorry to be bothering but Y/N ...

    - Is she alright? - he interrupted her.

    - Yes, well ...  - she rummaged through her bag to find a cushioned envelope with his name on it. - She told me to give you this.

   - What is it?

   - I don’t know, captain. I must get going, my husband is waiting for me.

   - Of course. Thank you, Mrs. Gillies.

He waited for the woman to be out of his office and for the door to be shut for him to open the envelope. The minute he opened the envelope, pearls fell into his desk, the same pearls he had given Y/N followed by a small note in the dusty pink stationary that normally laid on her dresser. Turning it around, he saw the words he’d been dreading to read or hear ever since he met her. I’m sorry, Lee. He threw the letter on his desk before getting up from his desk as fast as he could, ignoring the calls from his colleagues as he got into his cruiser. Damned, Brewer Heights, why couldn’t it be closer?

He approached her home fast and closed the door as fastly as he ran up to the door. Her hag of a grandmother was possibly at church and he had learned where they kept the spare key; behind a violet pot. His heart was beating as fast as a deer on a hunt as he climbed up the stairs and found the once filled room was empty, with only a perfume bottle on her empty dresser. He observed the whole room as if he were in a nightmare, sitting on her bed as he clenched the pearls he had given her not so long ago, the smell of daisies in the air as some song played on the still turned on radio.

You never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away ...

taglist: @lookiamtrying​