#edited because i forgot how fucking centuries work
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CR C3E89 Spoilers
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Travis, I fully agree with, Ludinus’s goal on the surface has a glaring hole between how the points connect and how the hatred began, and I’m betting it’s because the fucker survived what happened to Aeor.
He’s ancient as shit, lived in Molaesmyr but was established even then, knows Aeor Tech, like shit I’m convinced he “made” FCG.
I still really love the vibes of the Volition, and all the folk on Ruidus, and I know that the likely ending is a lot of them coming to Exandria and opening up new playable ancestries, like what happened with the Aeormatons.
And talking about missing info, the whole origin of the Ruidians, and what the Willmind destroyed I am deeply intrigued about.
Least I know the whole “We literally do eugenics” removes the grey around them…
Gotta say though, outside of the Storm Lord, Matt can you please have some good religious folks showing up, like I get that the Betrayer Agents showing up is to flavor the desperation of the times, but it’s painting an interesting message that I think some folks in the fandom are sold on, but it honestly doesn’t feel the party is big on, at least not as it used to be.
Leliana being IN on the Koolaid, was not surprising but I did genuinely feel bad for Imogen in that moment and I did like that the moment that become clear she went cold on her Mom. I don’t… know if Matt will actually kill her offscreen but shit it would be interesting to see Ira’s work pay off and the party have to grapple with that.
Curious to see how this split party deal goes, and what else we might learn.
See folks talking about guests but I doubt it…. Since I don’t think this split would last long enough for that to have an impact.
Genuinely excited for more Candela next week.
But I really do love the overall vibes of what’s been going on in Ruidus.
Edit: HOLY FUCK MOLAESMYR FELL THE SAME CENTURY THE CRUSH HAPPENED ON RUIDUS! Ludinus caused the rise of the Imperium!
Edit 2: Completely forgot to mention the Imodna conversation and how it felt… like there might come a time when what they want and who they love might face a barrier they might not be able to push through.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr imogen#cr fearne#cr laudna#cr orym#cr ashton#cr chetney#cr fcg#ruidus#ludinus da'leth#reilora#predathos#liliana temult#ira wendagoth#imodna
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amusing bits from Martin Luther: Renegade and Prophet so far:
* "What sparked [Luther's] anger, so he later reminisced, was the preaching of a Dominican friar, Johannes Tetzel, in the nearby town of Jüterborg, who went so far as to claim that his indulgences were so efficacious that even if a person had raped the Virgin Mary they would be assured complete remission from Purgatory." used car salesman-ass strategy lol
* "...the wealth of material that has survived on Luther is so great that we probably know more about his inner life than about that of any other sixteenth-century individual... His collected works, the famous Weimar Edition, extend to 120 volumes, including 11 volumes of letters and 6 volumes of his dinner-table conversations"
holy FUCK. truly a poaster before his time. like would the median tumblr blog fill 120 volumes jeez
* "In the early years of the Reformation, for example, [Luther] talked constantly of invidia, or envy, attributing it to his opponents—though it is hardly likely that they would have envied a penniless, powerless monk, while he, on the other hand, had every reason to be preoccupied with those he envied." lmao. mean girl who goes "they're just jealous" every time ppl hate on him
* "Extraordinarily, in an age when letters were routinely passed from person to person, were forged or intercepted, and when every chancellery filed drafts, Luther kept no copies. This gave his correspondents huge power, because they alone had records of what he had written, but Luther was relaxed about this, joking that he could always deny his own 'hand,' a remark that reveals his remarkable confidence."
i will have to look into this later but this is lowkey fascinating??? it hadn't occurred to me the 16th century world would've, like. written out copies of every damn thing. to support audit trails and such. just because the overhead of producing all those damn copies seems really high. suggests fun possibilities for intrigue and mailfraud shenanigans lol
* "It was popularly believed that when of the counts [in the town where Luther grew up] commissioned an altarpiece for the chapel depicting the Crucifixion, he had the thief on Christ's right painted as his most hated co-ruler
LMAOOOooo. also reminds me of the funny story that the tobacco magnate who funded the creation of Duke University Chapel asked that the stained glass depict the 12 desciples smoking cigarettes, and the dude had to be talked out of it... though i can't find any reference to the story on the internet, sadly. did the duke chapel tour guide MAKE UP LIES to me
* Luther grew up in a family that owned a mine & it's sort of hilarious how bad all these 1500s miners were at economics. they're like. running whole mining operations but with only the haziest idea of, like. where capital comes from. how to not resource trap your way into fuckedness. etc. i dunk on economists a lot but y'know there are some concepts here that actually were p worth formalizing
* our dude Luther was a fucking DRAMA QUEEN let me tell you:
"[Luther] joined the Augustinian order in Erfurt on July 17, 1505 [...] Luther sent his academic gown and ring home to Mansfeld, telling his parents he had drawn a line under this part of his life. He sold some of the fine legal textbooks his father had bought him and donated others to the monastery. Then he invited all his student comrades to a lavish meal, with music and entertainment. At the height of the party, he told his shocked companions of his decision to become a monk, announcing melodramatically, 'Today you see me and never again!' He then left for the monastery, accompanied by his sobbing companions." bet those dudes never forgot that party
* though Martin Luther's dad sure could match him for drama queen-ness (and apparently never stopped resenting Luther becoming a monk instead of a lawyer):
"At the ensuing feast to celebrate [Luther's first mass a priest], for which Luther's father, always the man for the grand gesture, had given the sum of twenty guilders, the breach was still evident. Luther asked whether his father now accepted his decision, and in front of everyone at the table, Hans Luder replied, 'Remember the fourth commandment, to obey father and mother.' 'What if it was an evil spirit' behind [the storm that convinced Martin to become a monk]? he asked. It was a very serious charge, made at a point where Luther had just acted as Christ's representative on earth for the first time."
* Luther was in one of the more hardcore monkish orders, and said order had a pretty rigorous schedule of prayers that involved waking up in the middle of the night... but apparently you could just pay other monks to pray for you if you just Didn't Feel Like Doing It one day? lmao. and in particular Luther did the strategy of "i'll just get them done ALL IN ONE DAY" instead of, like, doing them throughout the week (going without food or sleep, working that day & night to get them done)
* our dude could definitely be a poor lil meow meow / woobie if fandom got their hands on him. this boy is constantly having literal panic attacks about WHAT IF I MISINTERPRETED THIS PART OF SCRIPTURE AND NOW WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL, when he's in Rome one of the things that bothers him the most (besides the famous indulgence thing) is the fact that they SPEEDRAN masses over there and he's like "oh no though, i spend SO MUCH time on the masses i run, i'm so afraid of doing it without true feeling... who are these speedrunning fucks with no respect goddamn," his confessor gets tired of him because he'll spend UP TO SIX HOURS AT CONFESSION agonizing over shit that doesn't matter... (this is part of the reason he went into academia, actually, his confessor was like "boy you have got way too much anxiety for the purely monastic life, go get a degree or something i stg")
* i do kinda love it when theologians get sexy with it:
"[Staupitz] wrote of different 'stages' of union of the soul, the first being that of 'young maids in faith,' the second that of the 'concubine,' the third, the 'queens': 'They are naked and copulate with the naked one. They taste that outside Christ there is nothing sweet and they enjoy [his] continuous sweetness. For the naked Christ cannot deny himself to those naked,' while in the fourth stage, which Mary alone experienced, Jesus 'sleeps naked with her naked and he shows other signs of such love.'"
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Quick rant about ATYD because, the slander just does not make sense to me. It's not a perfect fic and people are allowed to not like it but some of the reasons for people not liking it are just so weird to me. Like- people don't like it because Sirius is sexist.... Sirius is a teenage boy. Do the people that say that hang out with teenage boys IRL? They are sexist and sometimes racists, pieces of shit- especially around their guy friends or girl they think 'are cool with it'. Also, it was the 70's. Like, do people not realize that a white, rich (like fully out of touch with reality, Billionaire with money dating back to the 15th century Rich), SEVERLY TRAUMATIZED cis guy from the 70's would be a piece of shit as a child. Like, as Sirius got older he would grow to regret all the fucked up stuff he said an take the time to actually apologize and stuff but we never saw that because he was 21 when he was imprisoned. He never even left his frat boy era. And then I have seen others be mad because they made Dorcas white. This is a complaint I have only seen from white people and as a Black mauraders fan, it literally does not matter. Like- Dorcas meadows is a character mentioned less than five times in the entire series, with her race being nothing more than a token black person that J.K shoved in The Order to prove it wasn't all white and that the HP world has diversity. Her being made white changes nothing in the plot. People also say that wolfstar is toxic in it, like this isn't a fic about two deeply traumatized boys with no role models or healthy relationships or base their own off of, other than Effie and Fleamont which they don't meet until they are like 13. Like, of course they are going to be toxic and fucked up- their entire lives have been fucked up. The only valid critique I have seen is the fact that the G word is used to describe the wolf packs. Granted, I didn't know that was a slur until 2021 or so, it's still a fucked up term to use. But yeah, I feel like people often say it's a bad work, which is fine if you just don't vibe with it, but the reasoning for not liking it makes me pause a little because 'what?'.
Edit: Forgot to say this but people also hate the characterization of Mary because she is oversexualized, to which I say: so is Sirius. Like, they are both sooooo fucking slutty and sleep around a bunch, the fact that people only talk about Mary in this light can be attributed to one of two things. Either A: grasping at straws, or B: Putting the weight on Remus's narration. Him being inexperienced for alot of his time as hogwarts would allow for any kiss or hookup seem like the end of the world for in his eyes and by reading with the grain I can understand that- but even then don't slut shame the black women and not the Black. "but mary lost her virginity at 14"- people get their sexual urges right as they hit puberty. Teens are horny. In the 7th grade my middleschool took an all day trip that used to be over night until two students got caught fucking in a cabin. 13 year old 7th graders. I am not saying it is right to loose your virginity at such a young age but it isn't unheard of.
Edit 2: Last edit I swear, but I just saw some one's post saying they didn't like how remus having a learning disability was for shits and gigs or that he did drugs and joined a gang. Firstly, remus having a learning disability is a beautiful metaphor for his lycanthropy and class. He is studying along side his friends, completely confused and just playing along to not give anything away. It doubles onto how isolated Remus must have felt and his whole problem with opening up to others. Also, the fact that Remus had to push himself so hard academically just to get the same grades as his rich friends who coast by on their name and the fact that they have been learning latin and french from tutors since they could walk- I mean, it's just chef's kiss. And, do people not realize that people in the real world do drugs? That a lot of people struggle with addiction and are more prone to said struggle when they grow up in a shitty environment with out learning proper ways to cope with the traumatic events? Remus was in a gang because he was surrounded by people who were in a gang- people who understood him more than James or Sirius did.
Like, I know that I can't really say this because I am a legal adult ranting on tumblr, but all of the slander just makes me want to tell people to go outside. Make friends irl- not mutuals. Touch grass, hand out with people you age. Like yes atyd isn't perfect but it was very much accurate to how real people would have been in the 70's and I personally prefer that to the babygirl-ification of every male character in Harry Potter to the points where they are almost caricatures of themselves
#atyd#mauraders era#had to get this off my chest#wolfstar#rant post#this is very long#sorry#I am just very heated when people have bad media literacy#is it obvious that I'm an english major?
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Wings of Fire thoughts continued: Talons Of Power Edition
I've heard that Arc 3 has Animus magic get totally shut down for everyone and I can kind of see why? I think giving it basically no limits on its functionality other than "If you use it too much you might go crazy but we're not sure" and who gets their cheesy counteraction spell on another animus off first was probably a mistake, as was the "Actually you can totally just directly put a spell on another dragon" thing. I think the general idea of a magic system where everything has to work off an object is a good idea, but I'd like to see things like Darkstalker needing to social-engineer his way into getting other dragons to accept items that have Trojan Spells and doing obnoxious things like enchanting items to be invisible while worn so everyone has a headache trying to figure out how he's doing it. Make him a threat because his prophecy makes him really good at anticipating the countermeasures to his magic, not just "I have a blanket Charm spell up at all times."
I'm also not a huge fan of the "Turtle made Anemone an Animus" thing. I think it's more impactful if he can never know the truth. Also cool: if Turtle was sure it was his fault she was an Animus for a while because "What are the odds that after centuries of zero Seawing animus dragons, suddenly TWO dragons turn out to have the power?" and then after everyone found out Orca was also an Animus it was like, if there were two there's no reason why there couldn't be three.
...Anemone is certainly a case study in why encouraging 2-year-old dragonets to use magic is a bad idea. Poor kid's going through it. I think her having a Villain Arc out of pure intoxication-of-power plus thinking it's inevitable and deciding to kill her whole family is one of the less interesting things that could've been done with the premise, though. I would have rather seen her cause serious damage with a well-intentioned spell because she worded it wrong or didn't think through what it would do, or Darkstalker fed her phrasing that would make her spell do something horrible, and then Turtle was forced to out himself as an Animus to stop her / tell her how to deactivate a spell, and Anemone lost it at him and him specifically, because she realized that her entire life her older brother could have prevented so much of what she went through, or done something about so many of her unborn sisters being murdered, but chose not to.
Horrible fucked up thought: imagine if Darkstalker tricked Anemone into casting his Icewing Genocide Plague spell for him because he foresaw that if he cast it himself it would be countered pretty quickly. Like what if he gave her instructions for a spell to make "All those who are sworn enemies of the Nightwing Tribe" sick as a "practical joke" and a "test of her powers," and worded it in a way that she didn't have the medical knowledge to know the symptoms he described could be fatal or made her word the spell to replicate some disease she hadn't heard of? And this eventually still fails because Darkstalker forgot Anemone existed so he couldn't anticipate a future where she turned it off. He did detect her casting the counterspell but he knew that some random Sandwing showed up for about a second when he cast the "Summon every animus dragon" spell so he was like "well I caught the missing rogue Animus (Turtle), I bet I scared that random sandwing so much she put up a protection spell, which is a problem for later."
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Thinking a lot about whether or not poison would work on the immortals and I think the general fandom consensus is that yes it would but I think it would be so fucking funny if it just didn’t. Maybe that’s why Booker constantly has to be drinking like a frat boy, because his liver is just so goddamn Super Effective.
Like I’m picturing them all at some late 19th-early-20th century high society fancy crime dinner, doing some espionage and then the moustache-twirling villain archly reveals that all the guests dishes have been poisoned. The mortal guests all die and Andy, Joe, Nicky and Booker are all sat awkwardly at the table.
Andy is like: Oh you want me to die?
Joe decides to go full Theatre Kid and loudly proclaim that if he is about to die he is damn well going to confess his Totally Secret Hidden Love for Nicky, and makes it about half way through his daring confession before Nicky has had enough and they just start making out instead.
Booker doesn’t even look up from eating his Poison Soup.
#the old guard#tog headcanons#andy andromache of scythia#yusuf al-kaysani#nicolò di genova#sebastien le livre#booker#joe x nicky#might fuck around and write a fic#also open if anyone wants to write it#I'm not your boss#edited because i forgot how fucking centuries work
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Today I bring you… *drumroll*
Edit: I forgot to tag the lovely artist that inspired me write these. @levionok, ask and you shall receive!
Teacher!Hob headcanons (mixed with an aftertaste of dreamling because I’m mentally ill about them)! Plus a bonus, mildly NSFWish, bit because, as much as I insist on writing sexy shit about them, I’m shy in front of an audience
Teacher Hob headcanons
Hob drives a motorcycle to university. it’s very important to me, ok? (picture him in a well worn leather jacket, distressed blue jeans and taking his helmet off/putting it on 😭💦🥴)
Hob’s outfit game slides from the most “cleans-up-nicely”, contemporary style, to the “just woke up with a migraine this morning after pulling 3 all nighters grading essays” half-made bun and T-shirt. His students can tell at what point of the school period they are depending on Mr Gadling’s looks alone.
Some of Hob’s literature students have taken to playing a game consisting of making him rant about William Shakespeare. He’s become scarily good at keeping his thoughts about the playwright to himself through the ages, and he can manage entire classes teaching his works without issue (maybe Will is still important or whatever). Still, once every blue moon, a student is able to get him riled up enough to trigger one of his signature “Shakespeare’s overrated” monologues. They have kind of a formula figured out: Bring up the topic of the bard’s possible inspirations, or the possible muse for Sonnet 130 and you’re pretty much a winner. He gets… passionate about it, to say the least.
Hob writes short quotes on the board at the beginning of his classes, hinting at the topic of the day. He makes his students try to guess it. He can be quite creative, which makes guessing more difficult. So, if they get it in the first three tries, he let’s them leave a bit earlier. As a treat.
He’s a MASTER storyteller. It’s one of the reasons why his lessons are so in demand and almost always full. His intonation, rhythm and body language are captivating. Sometimes, he’ll wear full-on costumes (with props and everything, the sweet man) to make his lessons more entertaining and interactive. Mr Gadling may be a little exotic, but that’s part of why he’s so popular at uni. (Something something, Dream’s rather private, but the pride that swells in his chest at Hob’s narrative abilities is undeniable).
Hob showed his students an antique fire weapon once (it was one of his, from the 17th century) and proceeded to baffle them after. demonstrating how to safely dismantle it, quickly put back it together, charge it and shoot it in record time. Like he’d been there when they first were made… Hey, Mr Gadling certainly has a variety of interests, huh?
So many faculty members have a crush on Mr Robert Gadling. He’s damn handsome and his easy smile melts even the coldest of hearts. He never seems to return anyone’s romantic sentiments, though. He insists there’s someone in his life already, but no one’s ever seen them?? And Hob won’t even tell their a name??? (He’s still a bit possessive about Dream’s name. It took him 600 years to get it, for god’s sake).
Cue the entire university slowly getting invested in Mr Gadling’s love life.
Bonus NSFW!
Dream enjoys visiting Hob at the uni. Sometimes, he’ll materialise in lecture halls, wait for him at the door, at the halls, at his office… Hob’s prudence is constantly hanging by a thread because Dream has taken a liking to showing up with nothing but his pitch black robe on and getting Hob to push him against the wall and maybe fuck him on his desk, if they have time.
#dreamling#the sandman#sandman#dreamgadling#dream x morpheus#dream x hob#hob x morpheus#hob x dream#dream of the endless#dream#dream the sandman#hob gadling#morpheus#dreamling headcanons#headcanons#the sandman headcanons#sandman headcanons#these are more like a ultra-short drabbles because i couldnt stop writing what the hell#i thought they'd be harder to write so imagine my surprise when the ideas wouldn't stop coming#anyway my thirst is really starting to show so imma stop there
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I hate how the most mysterious characters in the house is the fucking golden retriever vampire and the Dilbert-looking guy
I know that we know stuff about Nandor and it doesn't feel like he's mysterious because he's Nandor but he IS. And I know that we don't know much about Colin Robinson, because he's supposed to be this boring guy but I wanna know what he was up to before the others came along.
We know quite a lot of the human life of the other vampires and pre-house life of Guillermo :
Nadja : born in the 15th century, grew up very poor in a big family in Antipaxos, they were discriminated against because of their Gypsy blood. She lost a lot of family members (like her mom who was eaten by a bear) and the conditions she lived through made her the tough bitch we know her as. She either was turned by a vampire disguised as a serpent while she was throat-singing or by the Baron Afanas and chased off by her family and the villagers of her island. We know she's interested in fashion and music (songwriter and singer).
Laszlo : born in 1711, grew up rich and noble in England and was brought up by his nanny. He received an education and even went to Eton from where he was kicked out. He was turned by Nadja, was in the Sherwood Club, left it, met Sigmund Freud, was a sailor, was a pornstar, was Jack the Ripper, turned Elvis Presley, wrote famous songs with Nadja and we know about his interests (music, sciences, sculpting, cinema, porn).
Guillermo : born in 1992, was raised by a single mom in a lower class household in the Bronx. He's fascinated by vampires and wants to become one since he saw Antonio Banderas in Interview with the Vampire. He went to public schools. He was bullied through highschool with his best friend Jeremy. After highschool he went to work at a Panera Bread and met Nandor. He draws, seems to like Lego and watching TV and movies.
And then we have the other two :
Colin Robinson : born in 1921, apparently had a relatively normal childhood with normal parents, his father was a "Rupaul-type" person and his mother was boring and still is and we met his grandma once. He's 100% white. He likes his roommates, belly dancing and sifting through human shit??
Nandor the Relentless : born in 1262,had a mom and dad, was a soldier then a general in the Ottoman Empire, trained in the Al-Qolanudar army and became Supreme Viceroy of Al-Qolanudar at 17. Had a horse, Jahan, considered best friend that he had to eat to survive. Ransacked and pillaged many villages (including Nadja's) and was nicknamed "the Relentless" from said pillagings. Had 37 wives, was turned at some point and his wives left him. Was driven out of his country by peasants. He likes reading, dancing and basketball.
THAT'S ALL WE FUCKING KNOW.
And we don't even know if he was a Viceroy before or after training in the army. I have being saying lies like "oh Nandor was so good he rose through the ranks, he came from nothing blablabla" we don't know if he was born noble or peasant. We don't know how, why or when he was turned. We don't know any hindsight on how he felt in the army or what he did as a Viceroy or what he did after he was driven out THE GUY IS TOO MYSTERIOUS PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF NANDOR PLEASEPLEASEPLE-
Edit :forgot Nandor liked basketball smh
Edit2 : Laszlo told us his age in s1 I can't believe I didn't noticed the moment he said it
#Pulling at my hair and eating my nails over this man#For someone as self centered as nandor he never talks about himself#He kinda talks about him but everytime it's through his armies#nandor the relentless#wwdits#wwdits meta#what we do in the shadows#him ❤️#guillermo de la cruz#nadja of antipaxos#laszlo cravensworth#colin robinson#m
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Pranked You ;) {Colby Brock}
Request: Hello sweetie! I was wondering if you could do a story where the reader and Colby aren't dating YET but there is yah know, chemistry and tension. But one day sam decided to pull a prank on Colby and it involved EVERYONE. So basically he makes it seem like he woke up in a different world or something where stuff is different. For example: him and reader are dating (you can choose whatever other stuff happens, lol) but once Colby figures out the prank, he pulls reader aside. They have a small argument before reader blows off on him, in which he says "I've never wanted to kiss you as badly as I do know" and that's how they admit their feelings! Thank you! And can't wait to see what you write love
A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for your request, sorry for the wait, I have been very busy with school and work. I hope the wait is worth it though! Get ready for a long imagine, I’m pretty sure this is about 3,000 words. I hope you love it! I just realized that I tried to keep this imagine gender neutral but I forgot that I accidentally put some she/her pronouns in it, I’m so sorry!
Warnings: Angsty, Cussing, Mentions of alcohol, implied smut
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It was just like any other day for you. You woke up around noon because you were exhausted from the day before. Between working, going to college, and trying to keep somewhat of a social life, everyone could see just how worn out you would get day to day. So today you decided to treat yourself with a few extra hours of this beautiful thing called sleep.
Your phone rest on the bedside table and of course checking it and replying to the unread messages was the first step of your morning routine. The first messages you saw were from the group chat that consisted of you, Kat, and Tara. Apparently, while you were sleeping, Tara and Kat had a whole conversation about a girl’s day that they wanted to plan for you three. The last text sent was from Kat and it read, “I can’t wait for y/n to see all these messages in the morning. We planned the best girl’s day while she was probably passed the fuck out in her bed lmao”.
You smiled sending them a text back alerting them that you are indeed alive and down for all the plans they had created. In fact, you would be seeing them later at Sam and Colby’s place for a couple’s dinner/pool/movie date night. Jake would be there as well, and although you were tragically single, you loved all of them to death and hanging out over there was like the most elite sleepovers you would have with your best friends as a child.
A new text appeared on your screen just as you began to emerge from the comfort of your bed sheets, “God finally you’re awake. I’ve been waiting for Kat to tell me you answered her message all morning. I need your help tonight with a prank. Colby is never going to see it coming”
“A prank? I thought you guys didn’t do that anymore...? But I’m in ;)” You sent back. Out of all the trap girls and all the boys, Colby and you got along the best. Ever since you first met, which was years ago at this point, Colby and you have been inseparable. You tried so hard to avoid your feelings for him, in hopes to not develop a crush that ended up ruining your friendship, but Kat picked up on it right away. She told you constantly that she could easily set you up with the beautiful blue-eyed boy, but you insisted that things would happen naturally if there was truly something there between the two of you. And so, you went on, day by day, falling helplessly in love with the sweetest boy you have ever come to know.
Sam sent a message telling you to head over to their place as soon as possible. You swore that you basically lived there already. You were at their house way more than you were at your own. You couldn’t imagine living further than 15 minutes from them. After what felt like a century to Sam, you arrived at the house. Your hand loudly knocking on the big wooden door.
“Hey y/n! How are you?” Kat asked, pulling you into a big hug as she opened the door. You smiled and hugged back at her kind gesture, “I’m good! How are you? Do you know anything about this prank on you know who?” You questioned her. She glared at you, silently telling you to lower your volume. “Y/n! Colby is right upstairs be quiet!” She whispers, laughing at you almost blowing their cover immediately upon arrival.
Kat was quick to take you by the arm and drag you to the theater room where Sam was already sitting on one of the opulent red couches. He greeted you, telling you that he wanted to film your reaction to him telling you what prank you were going to pull. You agreed and sat down on the sofa facing the blonde. “Colby’s taking a nap right now upstairs because he was up super late last night editing one of our Sam and Colby videos. I figured we could use his exhaustion to our advantage and try and prank him that he woke up in some sort of alternate universe. I figured you could go into his room and set up a couple cameras, and I’ll keep two hidden in the living room where me, Kat, Jake, and Tara will be, so we hopefully get his full reaction. I want you to sneak into his bed and like cuddle him or something and when he wakes up, I want you to pretend that you’ve been dating him for a long time now. He is going to be super confused but just try and convince him that it’s true. If he ends up downstairs, we will go along with it too. I really want to see if he will think that it’s real after a while.” Sam explained.
You felt your face burning as your cheeks became a deep shade of red. He couldn’t be serious right? He wanted you to pretend that you were dating Colby? “I- Uh… I don’t know Sam won’t that be a really mean prank?” You tried to play it off, hoping that you didn’t just annihilate all your efforts to keep your feelings hidden. “You guys are like best friends, I don’t think he could be mad at you for such an innocent prank.” Sam replied. You began to feel incredibly flustered at the thought of having to be so affectionate with Colby. The room started to feel like a sauna as the sweat began accumulating all over your body.
Sure, you and Colby had cuddled before, but it was extremely platonic… Plus, it only happened in very specific moments, like last Wednesday after you had a couple of drinks, and everyone was sat watching a movie where he wrapped his arm around you so you could rest your head since it could barely hold itself up. You snapped out of your thoughts quickly realizing that Sam had been waiting on a response from you. You knew Sam was stubborn, he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Your eyes met back with his and the only thing you could get yourself to do was slightly nod your head ‘yes’.
“Perfect.” Sam smirked, getting up to turn off the camera and hand it to you so you could set it up in Colby’s room. You already knew that he was thinking about how many points this would score him for a Sam and Colby prank war if it turns out the way he is wanting.
Before you knew it you had made it all the way up into Colby’s room where you had strategically hidden the camera, facing it towards the sleeping boy in his bed. You let out a deep sigh, trying to prepare yourself for what was about to go down. “If this ruins everything for me, I am going to kill you Golbach.” You whispered, knowing the deep sleeper wouldn’t hear a single thing. And so, the prank began.
You took a gentle hold of the silky black sheets and quietly slipped into bed right next to Colby. There was no game plan in your mind, you didn’t even think up a storyline about your fake relationship for once he woke up. You squeezed your eyes shut in fear as you quickly wrapped your body around his, resting your head under his chin as he slept on his back. He twitched slightly, bringing his arm up, lazily holding you back. The breath caught in your throat, this was already hard enough for you and now he is cuddling you back? You glanced up to see his face, his eyelashes were slightly fluttering, and his soft lips had a slight part in them. He was still fast asleep. You decided to try and wake him up by moving around in his arm slightly, hoping the movement would pull him out of his dreams.
“Y/n?” His voice rung through the room, deep and raspy. He sat up slightly, glancing around the dark lair that he called a bedroom, but his arm still remained around your frame. “W-what are you doing here?” He stuttered, visibly confused by the sight of you in his arms.
“What? I can’t cuddle my boyfriend?” You answered, shocked that you could even get those words to come out of your mouth. His eyes widened at your response, pure shock etched into his face. “Boyfriend?” You felt his heart start to race as he replied.
His arm dropped from your body as he delicately pushed himself out of bed. He was now hovering over you as he stood by the bedside table. There was a clear glass with some water sitting on a coaster on the table. His strong hand wrapped around it as he brought it up to his mouth, downing the rest of the water that was in it. You could tell by his body language that he was beyond confused. The glass clinked as he practically dropped it back onto the nightstand.
“Am I dreaming or something? Since when was I your boyfriend?” His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to look at you for some answers. Your heart sunk thinking about how mean of a prank this truly was, at least from your point of view. “Baby�� Are you serious? We’ve been together for years now, are you feeling okay?” You said as you threw your legs over the side of the bed, pulling his hand into your own.
Your thumb gently rubbed circles onto the back of his hand, but only for a couple seconds before he pulled it away. “Is this a fucking prank or something?” He asked, irritation evident from his tone. You shook your head ‘no’, it was becoming hard to process words. You knew this was upsetting him, but Sam had you promise to make the prank last for as long as you could.
“I’m sorry- I have to get out of here really quick.” Colby said, making his way out the bedroom door. You said nothing back, hoping that Sam would end the prank for you as Colby made his way down the stairs.
“Hey brother! You’re finally up. Where’s y/n? I thought we were all doing a couples movie night?” Jake interrogated as Colby glanced to see Sam, Kat, and Tara standing over in the kitchen. Colby brought his hand up to his face rubbing his eyes, there’s no way that Jake is saying this too. Colby began to think that he was seriously going crazy. And then everyone else joined in on the conversation. You could hear them loudly as you stayed glued to Colby’s bed.
Sam began to ask if Colby was feeling alright, and you heard Kat say that maybe we should take Colby to the hospital in case he was losing his memory. You felt the panic in Colby rise as he was deflecting everyone’s concern insisting that he wasn’t losing his memory, and that he definitely wasn’t going crazy. He knew for a fact that you two weren’t dating, and none of them could convince him otherwise. “Dude, she’s gonna hear you up there. You’re going to break her heart. You really don’t remember?” Sam pushed.
You finally had enough. You raced out of Colby’s room and rushed down the stairs. You stopped immediately upon entering the kitchen, seeing everybody else still standing there surrounding Colby. The energy switched as they all looked to you, Sam pleading with his eyes for you to keep going. “I’m so sorry Colby, it was just a prank, please don’t be upset.” You couldn’t handle it any longer, the pain on his face was too much for you to bear. You watched as he scoffed back, “I knew it. Fuck you, guys. I’m going back upstairs.”
You felt horrible as you watched him stomp back up to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Tears stung the back of your eyes, this was all your fault. You excused yourself from the group and somberly made it to Colby’s door. You preceded to place a faint knock on the wood, “Colby? I’m so sorry, can you please open up?” Your voice was so soft, it would’ve been hard for him to hear if he hadn’t already anticipated your arrival. The door swung open as Colby quickly made his way back over to where he previously sat on the couch.
You stayed frozen at the door for a couple seconds, hoping to brace yourself for the angry boy inside. You took hold of the cold metal doorknob, pulling the door shut behind you. You tip-toed your way over to the sofa and took a seat far from Colby. Your mind was running a hundred miles an hour as you tried to concoct a coherent sentence. “What the hell were you thinking? Did you seriously think that I would find this funny?” He spat in your direction.
“It wasn’t my prank, Sam just wanted me to help him out.” You said back, desperately trying to reason with him. He sarcastically laughed, running a hand through his dark hair. “I didn’t ask who’s prank it was y/n.”
You gulped, it felt suffocating in his room. The dark ambiance that normally felt inviting suddenly seemed like your own personal hell. “Colby, I didn’t want to hurt you I swear. I was trying my best to keep everything lighthearted. I could never hurt you.” Your voice was so delicate, it was so hard to speak. The tears were still threating to make an appearance, and that was the last thing you wanted.
“But you did, y/n. That’s the thing. Whether or not you ‘meant’ to hurt me, you did. And everyone else was in on it to. Did you even try and tell Sam that this prank wasn’t a good idea? Did you even think, for a split second, that this was incredibly immature? You were all treating me like I was losing my damn mind, trying to convince me that we were dating when we clearly never were.”
His words hurt, but they were all true. You had never been together, what were you thinking pretending like you were? All to satisfy Sam? To help him get a head start on the prank wars by completely crushing Colby’s heart? He is your best friend for crying out loud. “Look Colby. I never wanted to do this, okay? Did you ever stop and think that maybe I didn’t want to be doing this either? You mean everything to me. Why would I ever purposely hurt you? Especially after everything we have been through. All the ups and downs, the messy breakups, all the fights. I love you so god damn much and I hope you know that I would never, ever, hurt you like that.” By this point the tears were streaming down your face. Your previous spot on the couch was long discarded as you now stood right in front of Colby, praying that he knew you were being serious about not hurting him.
Your eyes searched his for any glimpse of a sign showing that he believed you. His bright blue eyes looked a lot more intimidating than usual. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his expression not giving you any clues. Finally, he responded, “Is it wrong that I’ve never wanted to kiss you as badly as I do right now?”
And finally, there was your sign. His eyes no longer looked intimidating. In fact, they had completely changed into something much different, lust. You quickly took a step closer to him as he took a stand right in front of you, placing his strong hands on either side of your face. He roughly pulled you in, causing your lips to crash together with loads of passion. They fit perfectly together, better than you ever imagined them. They worked in sync as the feeling inside of you was igniting a fire. He was so rough, but surprisingly still gentle. Acting as if one wrong move would completely break you. Your lips remained locked as he pushed you backwards, surprising you as your back made contact with his plush bed. He was on top of you, hungrily continuing the kiss.
You both pulled apart abruptly, gasping for air after your heavy make out session. “I guess now’s a good time to let you know that I am absolutely, one hundred percent, in love with you.” You stated, starring deep into his eyes. “Then I guess now’s a good time to tell you that I feel the same.” He responded, bringing you back in for another passionate kiss. You pulled back again, “So, does this mean I can finally see those handcuffs I keep hearing about in action?” You asked him, slightly laughing. “Only if you promise to keep quiet.” He winked back. And that was the start of your amazing, long awaited relationship.
#colby brock#Sam and Colby#colby brock x reader#colby brock imagines#sam golbach#jake webber#tara yummy#kat stuart
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a lot of hot takes about Batman and Gotham in general feel off to me because generally they seem to assume gotham is a normal place that has an unusually large number of costumed criminals and heroes to fight them but is otherwise conventional and, its really not.
there’s a secret society of malevolent rich people who are orchestrating things behind the scenes to keep things getting worse forever. they wear owl masks all the time and meet in deep underground battle arenas beneath the ocean. they use a secret assassin (who is visually based on Batman’s evil counterpart from the crime universe) in an owl costume, presumably completely unrelated to Batman’s own bat themes.
Not that far from Gotham itself is a swamp called SLAUGHTER SWAMP. they dumped a mob boss in there and he rose from the dead as a hulk zombie that used a nursery rhyme as the basis for his entire new personality and sometimes he can only talk in verse from that nursury rhyme. For a while Batman wasn’t even involved with him at all, he was fighting the magic version of Green Lantern who couldn’t affect his powers with wood and also that zombie mob guy was... internally made of wood at the time, i think.
in one continuity the whole city is built on top of a steampunk wonder city powered by energies from a weird chemical pool that heals people real fast and can straight up bring the dead back to life but it also drives you violently irrational and the chemicals drove the entire city into a killing frenzy and then they built Gotham on top of it and straight up forgot about having a city built on top of a murder-laboratory. (If you assume the chemicals are STILL affecting people and are partially responsible for at least influencing people, this explains a LOT about Gotham.)
In most continuities, until the rise of super criminals, Gotham was straight up run by the mafia. The mayor was super corrupt, outright admitted that his fondest desire was to kill all the poor by setting them on fire, and was essentially a criminal head in his own right. The police weren’t just dirty and power-mad, they were an arm of the crime families and they were literally just gangsters in uniforms.
The infamous mental insititution was founded by a guy that ended up being tormented by nightmares of a bat over a hundred years before Bruce Wayne was ever borne, with strong implications that somehow the horrors and madness afflicting modern Gotham were so bad they went back in time and drove the founder of Arkham to madness out of the horror he saw coming. (Gotham is so fucked up it screwed itself up RETROACTIVELY.)
Gotham is so weird and so screwed up that Batman doing his thing isn’t him LARPing, no more than Zorro is LARPing, and its not a case of him not applying his money to charity and public works. He already does that, as well as giving henchmen stable jobs. No, supervillains just keep popping up anyway and odds are good that the average guy running a charity is gonna get a costume and get guns out and start a hold up during the next function while declaring themselves the Flamingo and staggering around on stilts and talking about how they will filter-feed what they deserve from the people of the world and start mugging people
GOTHAM HAS ZEPPELINS FOR NO REASON
basically if you approach Gotham like its any kind of normal city that has some costumed criminals and heroes, that’s kind of missing the point! GOTHAM IS FUCKING WEIRD AND SCREWED UP and it really says a lot that the one time the Joker edited old timey photos to make it look like he was an immortal spirit of discord plaguing Gotham for centuries, a lot of people just went ‘okay that sounds about right’ without actually being shocked
(also it says a lot about Gotham that Mayor Hamilton Hill, exposed to truth chemicals, ranted about how much he really wanted to murder the poor and thought every single horrible thing he did was their fault, and no one even blinked or thought this was unusual.)
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hi! do you recommend reading demons/have any tips? i recently read crime and punishment and im trying to get into more ruslit
hi! this is going to be so fucking long im sorry in advance lmao
overall i really liked it, crime and punishment is still number one for me but this is a close second (until i finish tbk and notes from underground.) i know some people (cough, redditors) hate it because it's pretty long for like. three things to happen at the very end but!! i would argue that a big part of the point of the book is how the village and the different classes within interact. it's not plot driven, but it's also not meant to be plot driven; its a satire of real people who dostoevsky knew of and hated lmfao. (side note i love how so many of his works are thinly veiled criticisms of shit he hated. he is So Interesting to me) demons is also pretty swag because you could make the argument that multiple characters can be easily read as gay which adds SO MUCH. (the big one is pyotr verkhovensky, but they’re all kinda 💅 ) no spoilers though if you’ve been on my blog since i finished you’ve probably seen them but there is one chapter that is very very emotional and touching and i was crying... iykyk. anyway the rest is under a cut
some things that would be helpful when reading this is for starters, reading it on a regular schedule; there are a lot of details early on that i forgot because i was just picking it up when i felt like it/when i had time. also, the pevear/volokhonsky translation hits (there are a lot of scenes with word choices that made me go umm... gay.... so if that’s your thing...) and the appendices are very in depth and very explanantory (demons is verryyy 1860s russia and there are a ton of references to that and i, as a 21st century north american, did not understand at all.) It took me 3.5 months to finish demons, but i wasn't reading it very consistently. Finally, i think most editions/translations have the chapter 'at tikhons' as an appendix, and apparently it was one that dostoevsky wanted to include, but wasn't allowed to. definitely read it, either right after the chapter that replaced it, or the end of the book. (i read it after i finished the book)
Here are some themes/devices to keep an eye out that i looked for that are pretty significant imo
what is stavrogins deal? is he the mastermind/god people seem to think he is? is he a villain or is he just caught in a shitty situation?
DEFINITELY read into christian imagery and allusions. note allusions to the holy family (i picked up on two, there probably are more) and who is being called a christ figure, and who is calling them that? are they right?
what is the deal between stepan trofimovich and varvara petrovna? what events can they be blamed for? are they just as bad as pyotr/the revolutionary circle?
likewise, take note of things that are called demonic, insane, possessed, etc. note when they happen as well, and the frequency.
try to pinpoint when things start to go wrong for everyone/when fate is sealed.
look at the main guys in the revolutionary circle, and which ideologies they seem to represent, as well as their main conflicts. what are their main personality traits?
the ladies, both Stavorgins Sluts (sorry marya timofeevna:( ) and the rich old ladies. how are they hypocritical/ironic? are they victims or enablers of their men (specifically stavrogin and the verkhovenskys) which of them are ignorant (or are they just stupid? note: definitely not a feminist novel.)
a lot of people (not just tumblrinas) read pyotr verkhovensky as kind of gay when it comes to stavrogin. is he actually, or is he acting to further his schemes as some sort of fucked up flattery? how is this expressed through the eyes of other characters around him?
what is the deal with kirillov and shatov? what do their philosophies say about one another and their relationship (pertaining to like. literary analysis but also are they gay?)
obviously this is a critique of nihilism/atheism/socialism in russia in the 1860s but i found that a lot of the sentiments and the r/epublican party/ m*ga movement. do you agree? what do you recognize from today’s politics? 
if you read this mess of a book (cue white mom sign that says bless this mess, because there is so much drama ) i hope you enjoy it and please like. talk to me about it i need to scream about this criminally underrated book.
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hey everyone! here’s that little drabble i had talked about! i think it’s really cute, and i did try to keep johnny in character- somewhat. but it’s hard to write gruff characters like himself, and avoid putting my softer personality onto him. but i did my best! i hope you enjoy it :>
edit: i completely forgot!!! this fanfic does contain spoilers for the beginning of the game!! it is also written from the perspective of a street kid. sorry i didn’t place this here before!
Are you gonna watch me sleep, or join me?
Johnny x V / GN Reader
Night City had been exceptionally rough on you today, as it usually was. It didn’t help that a man who’d been dead for half a century was on your ass for a majority of the time. That was likely going to be the case for a long fucking time.
You’d finally gotten back to your apartment at about two in the morning. You were completely beat after running around all day, tryouts not to find a way to stop, or at least delay the process of your doom.
The door to your apartment slid open once you arrived, the lights inside switching on. As the door closed behind you, the flickering of the rockerboy you’d been forced to become familiarized with appeared by your wardrobe. He had his usual pose: arms crossed, leaning against a wall, hair slipping into his face, sunglasses threatening to fall off his nose, and that stoic, almost annoyed expression.
He looked at you through the red tint of his sunglasses, not saying anything for a moment. And you hoped that he would remain silent, god you prayed that he would, but he never really showed himself without having something to say.
“So, how was work today, sweetie?” Johnny sarcastically asked. You rolled your eyes as a response, not giving him the satisfaction of a vocal reply. You kicked your shoes off, setting them down beside your closet. He watched you closely, and as you glanced back at him, you could tell he was waiting for a true response.
For now, you wouldn’t give him one. You walked over to the bathroom, starting to run the sink. The mirror switched on, helping you to start cleaning your face. There was a small silence between you two for a moment, the only sound in the small apartment being the sound of running water.
After you shut the water off, he pressed on. “Are you gonna answer me?”
You let out a heavy sigh, continuing to stare at yourself in the mirror. Soon enough, he would appear behind you, still in that same pose. “I’m really not in the mood tonight,” you answered, reaching your hands up to rub the dark bags under your eyes.
“I don’t think you have much of a choice, V.” Johnny stared at you through the mirror, taking his glasses off and playing with one of the temples between his metal fingertips.
You moved your hands away from your tired eyes, now looking down at the sink’s countertop. You reached over to grab one of the pill bottles that Misty had given you weeks ago, specifically the blue colored one. Shaking it with your hand, you looked up to Johnny through the mirror. The sound of pills rattling must have caught his attention, because he looked up from his glasses. Though, he didn’t look concerned.
“I think I do, actually. I’m pretty sure you remember the last time I popped one of these, and wherever you went when I did.” You eyed him in the mirror as you spoke, catching one of his eyebrows raising. You’d turn around, leaning back against the counter while continuing to hold up the bottle. “Now, I won’t hesitate to take some more of these, if you won’t calm down on your own. You understand?”
Johnny stood there for a moment, keeping his gaze on you for a while. He didn’t say a word, staring relentlessly with his deep brown eyes. You eventually decided to break the almost unbearable silence for him, deeming this his lack of speech was his answer.
You gently shook the bottle a final time, and placed it down on the edge of the sink. He stood still, no longer playing with his sunglasses. Eventually, you ripped your eyes away from his gaze, and proceeded to walk over to your bed. A light yawn escaped your lips as you stepped over to your bed. Johnny would reappear beside the bed, standing in the spot where you first met him in. Well, technically you first met him in... your mind? His mind? You weren’t all too sure. It was after the heist after so many people died. Including those you were close to. God, poor T-bug, and Jackie...
You fell back into the bed, your legs drifting over the side. You could feel Johnny’s eyes still on you, which frankly, might be a bit more unnerving than him talking about how he wants to take your body for himself.
Setting your arms underneath your neck to prop your head up, you look up at him. “Are you gonna just watch me sleep? Or are you gonna join me?” You asked sarcastically. This certainly caught his attention, making him let out a scoff of a chuckle.
“You’re really offering a dead guy to sleep with you? That’s pretty fucking pathetic,” he insulted, looking over you with a puzzled, yet amused expression.
“Yeah, yeah. Take it or leave it, dickhead.” You hadn’t exactly planned for this to be the actual outcome of your sarcasm, but you know what? Fuck it. Some actual human interaction after about 50 years could do the fucker some good.
You shifted your body to the side, moving to face the wall. This provided some space for Johnny, if he actually chose to lay down. Of course, you didn’t expect that to be the case, so you closed your eyes and tried to sleep.
And you would have fallen asleep, if not for a slight weight appearing beside you. Obviously, you knew it was him, but you glanced over your shoulder to look at him anyway.
He had been looking at your back however he looked up to your eyes once you glanced over. He seemed much calmer now, like he wasn’t concerned with being so big and scary anymore. Or at least, for the time being.
You weren’t exactly sure if you should say anything at all, but your curiosity tugged at your mind.
“Do you ever sleep?” You asked, slowly shifting to face him. “Do you even need to sleep?”
He didn’t answer for a moment, his brown, near black hair slowly slipping in front of his eyes due to gravity. “Whenever you sleep, I get that energy. So I guess not.” His eyes dashed down to the blankets, analyzing the fabric without any real purpose. “I haven’t tried actually sleeping since I was... revived, or whatever you want to call it.”
You let out a quiet hum and gave a small nod as a response. As much as this bitter man was an absolute pain in your ass, you still felt kind of bad for him. He was stuck with you completely, and would either be forced to live again through your body, or be killed for a second time. Frankly, you weren’t sure which outcome would be worse.
With a bit of hesitance, you reached forward to set your hand on top of his cold, metal one. It was strange, how you could feel him, and how he could still make small impacts on the world, in a sense. He could pick up objects, make floors creak underneath the weight of his body, and of course, touch and affect you.
The warmth of your hand caused him to look up from the blankets, and to your hand on his. He appeared confused at first, glancing to your eyes for a reply, or at least some sort of explanation.
It took you a moment to put together words that had actual substance to them, but you pulled them together eventually. “I’m sorry that you have to go through this crap. It must be a lot to process all at once.” You paused, seeing him scoff quietly. “I mean that, Johnny.”
He shook his head after that, letting out a quiet sigh. His lips parted, as if he was going to say something. However, he remained silent. He seemed to be stumped, unsure of whether or not to believe you. But why would you lie? You had no reason to.
“You shouldn’t be apologizing. Ain’t exactly your fault that we’re stuck together.” Johnny spoke quietly, avoiding eye contact with you once again. He flipped his arm over, his metal palm now meeting with your own. You thought about intertwining your fingers with his, but he would end up doing that for you. “I’m sorry, V.”
To hear an apology that sounded genuine from Johnny fucking Silverhand... It seemed to good to be true. But he didn’t have a reason to lie either, or at least, you didn’t think so. Instead, you chalked it up to him being tired, as were you.
You both laid there, staring down at each other’s hands. Your hand was smaller than his, but only just. Even though his arm was cold, it was still oddly comforting. You hoped that your own touch had that same effect.
You gently squeezed his hand, looking back up to give him a faint, gentle smile. “Get some sleep, Johnny. It sounds like you need it.” He gave a small chuckle to that, shifting onto his back, but still holding your hand. You remained on your side, watching as Johnny settled onto his back.
No other words were spoken that night, and no words were necessary, either. The silence between you two was peaceful, and it worked to quickly put you both to sleep. Arms still linked by your hands, a restful slumber was given to you both, which was certainly needed and deserved.
#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk#johnny silverhand#johnny silverhand x reader#x reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader#fanfic#drabble
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Idk if you doing requests or not rn buut, feriowind has been posting a bunch of vampire!Hermann and I needs some modern vampire Hermann and professor Newt...
uwu ily
SO I feel like I should open by saying a WIP fic with this concept by @coloredpencilroses exists and I Love it, so read High Stakes for something much better than this lol (and leave a nice comment). HAPPY OCTOBER!!!! warning for very mildly implied sexy stuff. EDIT: and of COURSE I forgot to tag @theloccent for my extremely belated fill for the “Vampire” square on my bingo card :/
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Newt has always been an extremely persistent type. He considers it, naturally, one his greatest strengths—no theory goes untested, no question goes unanswered, no experiment goes…well, unexperimented. You don’t get more PhDs than you can count on one hand if you’re not persistent. You don’t get a date with the hot new engineering professor down the hall if you’re not persistent, either, but Newt is finding this venture is taking a little more effort than usual. That’s fine, though. He likes challenges.
Dr. Gottlieb was hired by the university at the start of the semester, after the head of the engineering department—who’s nearing her seventies—finally decided she’d had enough and announced her retirement somewhat last minute. He is, frankly, unlike anyone Newt’s ever seen before, a weird combination of cheekbones, wide lips, and a turn-of-the-century old-fashioned air that carries over into everything from his wardrobe to the stiff way he carries himself. He wouldn’t look out of place in a black and white photograph, Newt thinks. Or maybe even the illustrations of a Dickens novel. That’s not why Newt’s into him, though—well, not the only reason why.
In the entire month and a half Gottlieb’s been here, he hasn’t spoken a single word to anyone his contract doesn’t require him to; when he is forced into conversation, he scowls and snaps and mumbles his way through before making a polite excuse as to why he needs to leave the room right now, immediately. No one knows anything about him other than the bare minimum—that his name is Dr. Gottlieb, he lectures in engineering, and he exists. Shit, Newt doesn’t even know his first name. The little plaque outside his office just says Gottlieb.
The mystery just makes Gottlieb all the more alluring to Newt.
Anyway, his continued failures in winning Gottlieb over aren’t a result of a lack of trying. On Gottlieb’s first day, Newt stopped by his office to introduce himself. He didn’t bother knocking. Maybe that was his first mistake. “I’m Newt,” he said. “My office is a few doors down from you. You’re the new department head?”
Gottlieb looked stricken, but he nodded. “Yes,” he said. He didn’t say anything else.
“Cool,” Newt said. “Anyway, I’m technically in the bio department, but I teach a few interdisciplinary courses with engineering, so I requested they stick me over here to get a bigger office.” He cracked a grin. “I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”
“Hm,” Gottlieb said.
Newt tried again the next day.
“Your office is so dark,” he said, conversationally, because it was—lights all off, books stacked up everywhere, maroon drapes drawn tightly in front of the single small window. Dark and stuffy. “Feel free to stop by my office whenever you want a break from it. I have a corner one, so I have two windows.”
“I requested this office,” Gottlieb said, not looking up the article he was marking up.
Newt became desperate by his third attempt and did something that’s left him burning with shame even now, weeks later, and that would probably warrant the immediate transfers of sleep-deprived engineering majors out of all his courses if word ever got out it was him: he deliberately broke the department coffee machine. “Man, I can’t believe that thing is busted again,” he declared to Gottlieb. “Good thing I have a Keurig in my office.” Newt had gone out and purchased a Keurig immediately before destroying the coffee pot. “Seriously, come by whenever you need caffeine.”
Gottlieb blinked at him, long and slow, and Newt had the strangest sense that he knew exactly what happened to the coffee pot. “I never drink… coffee,” Gottlieb finally said.
For all Newt’s troubles, the list of things he knows about Gottlieb has expanded by two pitiful points: that his accent is English and posh, and his voice is low and sexy. Helpful.
It’s a chilly day in late October when Newt finally decides to enlist the aid of his interdisciplinary undergrads. Some of them—he learned after poking around their registration records—have a seminar with Gottlieb, and they seem his best bet at learning anything. A spouse—a first name—Newt would take Gottlieb’s favorite color, even. “So,” he starts class, unwinding his scarf off his neck, “that Dr. Gottlieb sure is weird, huh?”
In Newt’s firsthand experience, undergrads love to gossip about their professors, and his certainly don’t disappoint. Gottlieb’s classes are all held in the basement of the engineering building. All run well into the evening, after the sun’s set—most not finished until nine—and Gottlieb hustles out of the lecture hall the moment he can. He walks with a cane and a slight limp. He always dresses like that. He’s never mentioned any sort of family, and wears no wedding ring. He’s scary good at math. No one knows his first name.
“You’ve been an invaluable help,” Newt tells them all seriously.
He mulls the new information over in his office later as he grades some tests. So Gottlieb is a bit of shy, reclusive, genius. No surprise there. Well, his apparent hatred of sunlight is kind of weird (if unsurprising, given how pale he is) but maybe he just has sensitive eyes or something. Who is Newt to judge? At least he knows how to improve his next plan of attack—he just has to ask the guy to come over and sit in a dark room in silence with him. That’s probably Gottlieb’s dream date, actually.
There’s a knock on Newt’s office door. Newt looks up and drops his pen: it’s Gottlieb.
“Uh. Hey, dude!” he squeaks, unsure of how to proceed in this entirely unfamiliar territory. Gottlieb, willingly interacting with him? Willingly leaving his office? “Is there…can I help you with something? Did you want that coffee after all?”
“Most definitely not,” Gottlieb says coolly. He’s standing far enough back from the door that not a single sliver of lamp light from Newt’s office hits him, instead shrouded by the shadows of the dark engineering department. Newt didn’t realize how late it had gotten. “My students informed me that you were interrogating them about me.”
It’s not a question. Newt is struck by a wave of nervousness that he doesn’t quite understand—maybe it’s the sour expression Gottlieb is giving him, something in those dark brown eyes that are piercing through Newt. He feels, foolishly and briefly, like cowering under his desk. He swallows. “Yes,” he says, and adds, stammering, “I mean—I wasn’t interrogating them. I was just asking a few questions.”
“Why?” Gottlieb says.
“Uh,” Newt says. “I guess I was…curious, about you?”
He works up the guts to look Gottlieb in the eyes; he sees Gottlieb’s eyebrows jump the tiniest fraction of an inch. “You’re attracted to me,” Gottlieb says, another non-question, though Newt hears a flicker of surprise.
“Yeah,” Newt admits.
“I see,” Gottlieb says. Then, to Newt’s surprise, he suddenly smiles. “I’d like if you invited me over for dinner, Dr. Geiszler.”
“Dinner,” Newt says. He feels strangely dizzy; but, shaking himself, he quickly gets over it. “I mean, dinner! Yes! Shit! When?”
“Tonight, I should think,” Hermann says.
Tonight is Friday, which means they don’t have work tomorrow. By the time they make it off campus it’ll be almost ten—way later than people eat dinner—and besides, Newt already had a sandwich at around seven. Is dinner a euphemism? Is Gottlieb propositioning him? God, why didn’t he wash his sheets with the laundry this week? “Tonight,” Newt says. He stands up abruptly and grabs his leather jacket with trembling fingers. Why is he trembling? Nerves, he guesses. He’s about to hook up with total hottie Dr. Gottlieb, he’s allowed to be nervous. “Fuck yes. Let’s go now.”
Gottlieb is not impressed with the messy state of Newt’s apartment, and even less impressed with the state of Newt’s refrigerator and freezer. “Dinosaur chicken nuggets and canned Lime-A-Ritas,” he says with a sniff. “Hm. You ought to be getting more vitamins, Dr. Geiszler. I’m certain you’re deficient in something.”
“You sound like my dad,” Newt snorts. He throws his car keys on the counter and shrugs off his jacket. “There’s some leftover Chinese on the second shelf if you want it—just some lo mein. Or I could put a frozen pizza in the oven. Or I guess we could order something too?”
Gottlieb shuts the fridge door delicately. “How kind of you to offer,” he says. He doesn’t sound like he means it. Newt is suddenly struck by how bizarre a sight he is in the midst of Newt’s chaotic kitchen: buttoned up to the throat with his stupid shirt and blazer, prodding at the fraying lime lizard-shaped rug by the sink with the end of his ornately-handled cane. Out of time and out of place.
“It’s Newt,” Newt says. “Please don’t call me Dr. Geiszler, it makes me feel ancient.”
“Hm,” Gottlieb says.
“And what,” Newt says, deciding to test his luck a little, “uh—what should I call you?”
Gottlieb considers him. “Hermann,” he says.
The name rings a bell in the back of Newt’s head. He swears he’s heard it somewhere before—an article, maybe. A book. Has he stumbled across Dr. Gottlieb’s research before without even realizing it? He’s on the verge of asking what publications Gottlieb’s been featured in when Gottlieb suddenly snags hold of his hand; then, raising it to his mouth, he kisses it. His lips are as cold as his skin. “Would you like to show me to your quarters, Newton?” he murmurs.
Newt shivers; he nods.
“Hermann Gottlieb,” Newt says aloud later, while Hermann redresses himself. “Now I know where I’ve heard that name before.”
“Yes?” Hermann says. He’s lacing up one of his Oxfords.
“I worked with his research in one of my dissertations,” Newt says. “Another Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, I mean. He was a brilliant mathematician from—God, 1830-something. German. His work was groundbreaking for the time, or shit, for our time, too.” He remembers seeing a portrait of that Hermann Gottlieb in one of his sources; the whole of the similarities between him and Newt’s Hermann Gottlieb (the dark eyes, the mouth, the cheekbones) are a little too much to be entirely coincidental. “You must be related to him, right? Like, he’s your great-great-great—”
“Yes,” Hermann cuts him off quickly. He turns to Newt and smiles. “A distant ancestor, certainly. I believe you are the first in some time to have made that connection.”
“Always thought he was cool,” Newt yawns. “Man, I’m tired.” The romp with Hermann had been fun, if not unexpectedly exhausting, and a little…out of the ordinary. The dude apparently has some sort of weird biting kink that left Newt’s neck stinging a little bit, but it’s cool, Newt doesn’t mind. It was like boning a vampire or something. Kinda hot. “Do you need me to show you to the door, or can I just stay here? I’m serious about spending the night though. I really don’t mind.”
Hermann fiddles with the laces of his other shoe, then, slowly, draws the whole thing back off. “If it’s not an imposition,” he says, and smiles again, shyly. “Though, I warn you—I’m a bit of a late sleeper.”
“Good, so I am,” Newt says. “Could you toss me the sweatshirt hanging on that chair? You can grab one for yourself too, if you’re cold, I’ve got another hanging in the closet. No, not--yeah, that door.”
They dip under the covers and get cozy, Newt taking on the task of big spoon, because Hermann is a cold sonofabitch and could use a little insulation. The last thought on his mind before he drifts off to a comfortable sleep is how strange it is he can’t feel Hermann’s heartbeat—though, he realizes, it’s probably just muffled by their clothing.
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What are your thoughts on fanfic writing in the f1 fandom? I am pretty sure I saw you tweet about it at some point something small but I was too scared to interact with you on it over at twitter :D
So, this is a hotter topic than I’d really like it to be on my Tumblr and it’s my own fault but. Here we go.
RPF has some questionable ethics and some even more questionable origins. I’m ancient enough that it just used to get straight-up published as a ‘5 minute fantasy’ in young women and girls’ magazines where you’d get like, some 15 year old’s daydream about meeting a boyband member on holiday and falling in love and this was for some reason just treated as an absolutely normal bit of publishing not like ‘what the hell, that would be illegal’ and ‘why is this the fantasy we are encouraging girls to have as an ambition when it comes to sports or even pop success’ and y’know.
Anyway, the 90s: really can’t emphasise enough how fucking weird having only a few sources to get your media from makes them.
Back to RPF; its roots are in political obscenity, if you want to talk about the bawdy stuff. The French Revolution, in particularly, wrote lots of erotica (the kinkier the better) about the royal family as part of refusing to acknowledge their divine rights under the church. It was an anarchical refusal to accept the situation as it was and to undermine it.
Beyond that you’ve got historical fiction - Thucydides was all about working up a really good narrative take* on the Peloponnesian war back in the fifth century BC. Extra scenes, big dialogue, you know. If he’d known about self-lubricating buttholes then you BET Herodotus would have put them in the Histories.
Point is: writing fiction about real people isn’t really that weird, Shakespeare did a load of it. But we tend to problematise RPF and consider it strange, even amongst fanfiction.
Now, to 21st century sports and specifically F1. We speak here on Tumblr dot com, the audience where F1 fans skew most largely LGBT, non-cis and female or non binary rather than every other platform which is full of cis het men. Here is where we talk about fanfic. Because they don’t know we’re here, I assume, is the logic.
(they kinda don’t, to be fair)
Most of us do not see ourselves in sports. Most sports media is not aimed at the way that a lot of us were socialised to engage with stuff and most of us - lucky buggers like me aside - do not get to write the narratives of the way sport is engaged with or talked about or who does it.
A lot of us who live here on god’s abandoned internet have drifted in and out of fandoms and a lot of that will have involved engaging with fanfiction. Fanfiction is a really fun sandbox to play in, as an adult - we get told to stop playing, as we grow up and it’s no surprise that we still want to.
There’s a six monthly cycle of some AAA game that asks the question “is shooting people bad?” that prompts 10 broadsheet newspaper pieces on Videogames: Not Just For Kids Anymore (and sub in comics/superheroes/etc for games there) that makes everyone who knows that roll their eyes. Games and comics and superheroes are big, legitimised industries now that turnover hundreds of billions of dollars.
Fanfiction is an outlier, as the purest form of play in a lot of senses. Unfettered, it’s the democratic media platform; there’s no minimum standard for publishing, there’s no real limits beyond your own ethics on what you can publish. it doesn’t turn a profit, by its very definition and it allows lots of games and versions of itself within that.
For something with a ludicrously broad definition that encapsulates hugely different types of works, it has defined forms; from drabbles to wingfic, as structural formats, we also recognise fluff or hurt/comfort as genre. Fanfiction isn’t really the thing itself, it’s the bookshop and what you find in it will vary on where you look and often, the advice of the bookseller or friends you speak to.
If you’ve enjoyed wandering that bookstore and adding to its shelves as part of the way you engage with media and then you come to a sports fandom? Well, you’re gonna look for the fic. If you don’t see yourself in the sport, as a woman or a queer person then you can write yourself in. It’s sad that we sideline the fantasies where we exist - given they’re entirely normal to have - into places where we jealously guard them away from the reality we daren’t intrude on but that is how it is.
And fuck: if your whole reason for liking F1 is cus you wanna marry a driver and you’re writing those 15 minute fantasies about them like you’re 15 and they’re a poster then it’s not doing any harm - it’s a lot healthier than stalking them. You might even work out what you really want or more things about yourself, in the process.
(if it’s ‘to marry an F1 driver’ then I suggest you take some boring swimwear snaps somewhere that looks expensive, stick ‘em on Insta and wait for the DM slide)
One of the things I like best in fanfic is the possibility of a queer narrative without complications, of telling queer stories without having to justify them as Issues, of letting us see ourselves and our own awakenings because fuck, you know the big book shop (if such things still exist) has one shelf of expensive, niche published novels you find difficult to related to and three sex ed books.
F1 fanfic was one of the ways I wandered back to the F1 fandom and one of the reasons I work in the industry now. It was enough of an in to make me want to really think, to have that new crush energy of obsession and enjoyment, about motorsport in a way I’d drifted away from as I felt sidelined from the sport through my early-to-mid 20s. I found brocedes much more compelling, as an interpretation and a way of processing the intense rivalry between Lewis and Nico - even knowing it was fictional conjecture - than I did the equally fictional conjecture about their psychological states and potential weaknesses published in the sports papers.
So, yes, I have read some excellent Formula 1 RPF. I have written some frankly mediocre and in retrospect very poorly edited F1 RPF that I posted to Twitter in a drunken moment of excitement because I was happy I’d finished it and forgot, idk. I have a tricky relationship to being a Notable Person I guess, I hadn’t intended any harm and was mostly worried I’d get flack from the industry. Lol. Anyway, only saying it cus like; this isn’t just me talking about things theoretically.
There’s a lot of F1 RPF that is more insightful than a lot of columns about ‘inside the drivers’ minds’ working off very little more than the RPF is.
Some of it, I won’t lie, I find really fucking weird but I guess like, that ain’t for me. There are a lot of problems with RPF - it’s too male, too frequently misogynist, too keen to reinforce homophobic ideas, too often white and blonde, not radical enough but those issues are for the advanced class rather than the 101 overview I was aiming for here and go well beyond F1 or RPF.
Shit I should be writing the weather report. Fuck. I’m the worst. Err, there you go, that’s a whole thing.
(I don’t read very much - I am busy af - but occasionally and especially on long haul flights when the idea of anything other than soothing is impossible)
*Actually tbh Thucydides couldn’t write for fuck but it was early and you know how when a tag’s young you’ll read a lot of mediocre stuff?
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Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 39]
Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!
If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. None edited chapters are under the cut.
My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15
I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.
Alright. Time to get a bit of studying done.
Arc II What We Do to Each Other
Chapter 16:
As it would turn out, Janus and Virgil did not get in trouble for hooking up the old phone to Virgil’s integrator, mostly because it wasn’t really a mistake on their part. The phone cleared all virus checks that the tech people both from the university and the TPI ran on it. The phone should have been clean and should not have caused an issue.
In fact, they were still trying to pin down the code on the general university server. They could tell that something was mucking about on the system but what or how was a mystery. This also meant that there was no telling what information had been compromised and considering how many things Silver Mountain had its hands in, that was… a bit worrying.
Another worrying thing was there was suddenly more activity of late at the TPI. There were more time distortions popping up every day. Usually they would be few and far in between. There had been 3 total recorded the year before, but over 12 in the last week. Some of them were fake like the one Janus had investigated, but some of them were real. It painted a distressing picture and also was a drain on their resources. Khalid was actually looking to advertise positions to hire new recruits which was something she rarely did as she liked to keep appointments to the TPI in house.
They’d even loosed the number of field agents needed for each mission and Janus and Remus had been splitting up just to get everything done. Today, he and Remus had thankfully only two missions scheduled for the day.
“Are we going together or separate today?” Janus asked Remus.
“Think they’ll burn me at the stake for being a witch if I go alone to either of them?” Remus asked.
“I don’t know. Probably. I think we’re getting a bit late into the 1700s for that in Cuba, but I have no idea about Mesopotamia.”
“Let’s just go together. I did not like almost drowning yesterday because I was the only stranger in town when the weather was going wonky.”
“Surely it isn’t because you opened your mouth. Ever.” Janus said dryly.
“How was I supposed to know he was the local clergyman’s son?”
Janus rolled his eyes. “On second thought,” he said, pushing a button on his desk to choose Cuba as he next mission, and standing up. “I don’t want you coming with me.” Yet, he did not protest when Remus also signed up for the Cuba mission and he waited for him by the office door before going to talk to Rhi.
Rhi was a bit frazzled when which meant quite a bit as she was usually incredibly put together. Remus didn’t even seem inclined to tease her today.
“Okay,” she said once they’d closed the door behind them. She flipped through some documents on her desk. “Picani and Clockson. Camaguey Cuba 1755. Do you know Cuba?”
“Uh,” Janus said. “Yeah?”
“Like you’re reading the things, right? I don’t have to babysit you, right? You got it? The Seven Year War was happening, but it won’t affect you much as it hasn’t really hit Cuba. It’s the middle of the Camaguey Carnival. Everyone will be everywhere and there will be chaos so as long as you don’t really fuck up you should be fine. Um…apparent races.” She looked up at them and studied them each for a moment as thought looking at them for the first time despite having known them for years. “It’ll work. Go to costuming.”
“Shouldn’t we…” Janus said, “sign things?”
“…Yep,” she said, fiddling with her desktop and then sending documents over to their side to sign.
Janus and Remus both did before sending them back.
“Great. Good.” She stood and grabbed some things from behind her. “You can go.” She sat back down as they took their things and Janus noticed a message pop up on her desk. She looked up at Remus looking exhausted. “What?” she asked.
“Just open it,” Remus said.
Rhi tapped it and a photo opened.
“I got her a new mouse toy!” Remus said happily as Rhi looked at the picture of Diesel Fuel attacking a cloth mouse.
“That is… appreciated Agent Clockson,” Rhi said. “Now get out.”
They did, leaving to get their costumes on and checked. Costuming was just as busy and frazzled as Rhi had been and they actually had to wait for decon because there’d been a mix up with the agents leaving before them. They landed in Cuba without issue. Janus could already hear the festival in full swing outside the small building they’d were in. Remy was standing there with a very not time appropriate mug of coffee.
“Sue me,” Remy said when Janus raised an eyebrow at it. “Please just… get in and out without causing trouble. Seriously. I don’t want to have to deal with that on top of everything else.”
“We’ll do our best,” Janus assured.
Remy pulled his sunglasses down to look at him. He looked exhausted. “God please do more than your best.”
Janus nodded tightly. “We’ll be in and out,” he said, already glancing at his timepiece. It had been disguised as a golden bracelet which made it a bit harder to actually use, but wrist watches wouldn’t be invented for more than a century, so they’d have to make do. “The time distortion, if that’s what it is, should be in the middle of town. Let’s go.”
He and Remus exited the building onto the packed city street.
Janus was immediately bombarded with all types of sights, sounds, and smells. There were many colorful articles of clothing and costumes as people went every which way along the street talking to other members of their community, playing instruments, and dancing. There was the sound of people speaking Spanish, still mostly almost pure Castilian Spanish with perhaps a bit of influence from Taino as the Haitian revolution had yet to push the Creole language over to Cuba. People must have been hard at work cooking different dishes for the carnival as many different spices wafted through the air. It was sticky hot considering it was the middle of June in the tropics and Janus was immediately sweating despite the temperature appropriate clothing he’d been outfitted with.
He glanced around their immediate area, just scoping out the crowds. His eyes were immediately drawn to one person near them.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he said out loud when he saw Pat. Remus looked in the direction Janus was.
Even if Janus didn’t recognize him the moment he laid eyes on him, he probably still would have ended up staring as he was the only person in the area who clearly did not know how to do the dance he was attempting.
Remus snorted and Janus shook his head in secondhand embarrassment. “Well, would you look whose boyfriend’s here,” he said to Janus. Make that firsthand embarrassment. “Has anyone told him the Mambo wasn’t invented until the 1900s and also that’s not how you do it?”
Chapter 17
Pat stopped dancing the moment he saw Janus approaching him, but he still bobbed cheerfully ( and unrhythmically) to the music. “Hi Janus,” he said pleasantly.
“You just have to rub it in, huh?”
There was a flash of confusion across his face, but then he smiled. “Well, I know where in our relationship you are. How was France?”
“You’re a bastard.”
“You stole the phone,” he laughed.
“You stole the bomb,” Janus countered, “and you wanted me to steal the phone. You booby trapped it.”
“No,” Pat correct, putting a finger up. “We have security on my phone because in high school I once forgot it in the school locker room and long story short, the three of us ended up in a lake. So, then Lo made sure I always had some sort of tracker on it. When I started time traveling, he updated it and when I met you we updated it again in case there was ever an opportunity like that. Lo calls it using our weaknesses to our advantage.”
“He’s a bastard too,” Janus growled.
Pat just laughed.
“Is someone talking about me?” Remus asked, stepping over to them. Janus rolled his eyes.
“Oh,” Pat said, blinking at Janus’s partner for a moment. “Remus.” He hesitated slightly. “How are you doing?”
“Me?” Remus asked. “Uh, I’m doing good. A little stressed out with work, but fine.”
“Good,” Pat said with just a little too much heartfulness to it.
“What?” Janus asked, eyes narrowed at Pat. “What is that?”
“What is what?” Pat asked. He met Janus’s eyes briefly and it made panic surge up Janus’s spine because the look Pat was sending him wasn’t one that said he was playing dumb. It was a warning.
Oh, Janus did not like this. That look told Janus Pat had some foreknowledge that he absolutely could not tell Janus about without messing up the timeline spectacularly. This was why this mess the two of them were mixed up in was so bad, but it seemed Janus did not have much of a choice when it came to Pat.
Despite how bad of an idea he knew it was, he still wanted to push, because whatever Pat was hiding could be very, very bad and it had to do with Remus. There were so many reasons Pat could be acting like that around Remus, but the worst ones were definitely the ones on his mind. Death, injury, illness. They were all possible especially in their line of work and especially with how time was being screwed with right now. And Pat knew. He knew exactly what the answer was, and oh did Janus want to push.
Experience knowing what worse things could come out of having foreknowledge made Janus bite his tongue.
“So, what are you two doing here,” Pat asked, and Janus unhappily let him change the subject.
“Oh, like you don’t know,” Janus replied.
“I don’t know,” Pat said innocently.
“There’s another time distortion,” Janus said, “and while you didn’t know what it was the last time I saw you, I’m pretty sure you do now.”
“Oh, I didn’t know there was a time distortion here. I can help you if you like,” he offered sweetly.
“Oh, yeah, sure. Then why are you here?”
“I wanted to see if I could find the Flying Dutchman,” Pat told him.
“And so you went to Camaguey?”
“Uh huh.”
“One of the farthest places from the ocean in Cuba?”
“Is it?”
“I don’t trust you.”
Pat just shrugged. “Well, if you don’t want my help finding the time distortion, I’ll just be on my way then.”
“Wait,” he said when Pat went to turn away. Pat paused. Janus turned to Remus. “Remus, do you think he’s bullshitting me so I let him wander off and do whatever the hell he’s doing, or do you think he’s bullshitting me into letting him come with us.”
“Hmm,” Remus said, looking Pat up and down. Janus could immediately tell he wasn’t going to get any helpful answer. “Well, if we’re going with the how much do I get to see his, admittedly very sexy, ass criteria.” Janus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Letting him leave now means instant gratification and a nice full image when he turns away. However, letting him go with us means many more opportunities to get a glimpse, but they’d probably just be glimpses. So, yeah that’s a tough call.”
“You didn’t even bother to give me an actual hidden suggestion with that bullshit,” Janus groaned. He glanced at Pat only to see him hiding his very red face in his hands. Janus blinked. “Oh,” he said. “You got him, Remus.” Janus was surprised. He’d expected a bit more tenacity for someone with Pat’s personality. Of course, Janus was used to Remus, so that perhaps had some effect. Pat made a muffled distressed sound behind his hands and Janus raised an eyebrow. “You really got him.”
Pat flapped one hand around while still using the other to completely hide his face. “It’s just. His face. Saying that. Is weird.”
Janus could not say that he didn’t feel a slight spark of joy at seeing Pat flustered. After all, Pat’s weapon of choice had often been flirting with Janus in the past. However, he still smacked Remus on the shoulder when it looked like he was about to continue with something likely far more inappropriate. “We are here for a reason,” he reminded. He turned to consider Pat and squinted at him. “You’re coming with us, I’ve decided. I don’t want to let you out of my sights. Don’t,” he said empathically turning to Remus as the man opened his mouth once more.
Pat had mostly recovered, though his cheeks were just a bit pink still. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Where do we start?”
Janus glanced at his timepiece. “It’s not showing up on our trackers yet.”
“It messed with your tracker last time,” Pat pointed out.
“I know,” Janus said. “Which means it could be another fake one or whatever is causing it hasn’t started yet. If things start going wrong, but it still doesn’t show on our radar, it’s almost certainly a fake one, but some of the fake ones haven’t blocked our technology.”
“Here, I can check,” Pat said.
“Please don’t pull out an iPhone,” Janus begged.
Pat stuck out his tongue at him, and then smiled. He reached for the bracelet on his wrist and twisted it back and forth a few times before pressing his palms together. He glanced around them quickly to make sure no one around them was watching and then peeled apart his palms like he was miming reading a book.
“What the fuck is that, and how do I get one?” Remus asked immediately. It was innocuous, whatever it was. If someone from this time caught a glimpse of the display, they’d likely assume it was a trick of the light, but staring right at it, Janus could tell it was a map of the surrounding areas with a softly glowing blue light marking their current location. Janus could see no screen or origin of a hologram. It looked like the image was drawn onto the man’s palms, but as he watched, the image shifted to zoom out.
“There doesn’t seem to be anything major yet,” Pat said wiggling his fingers a bit. The display changed slightly to some sort of colorful overlay Janus did not understand. Pat hummed. “Did you two come from that building recently?” he asked nodding at it.
“Yes,” Janus replied. “How do you know?”
“There’s sometimes a slight temperature change when people time travel,” Pat explained. “I can read it on here.” He tilted his head. “There also seems to be a big enough temperature change in a church a few blocks away that could indicate time travel. Want to check it out?”
“We might as well,” Janus agreed.
“And if it’s nothing, we can get drunk on the communion wine!”
“He’s going to get immediately struck by lightning,” Janus said.
Chapter 18
“If we see anyone,” Janus said as they entered the church. “You keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me? Remus, do you understand me?”
Remus immediately turned to Pat. “You know, I didn’t grow up Catholic,” he said to Pat who looked at him in confusion. “So the first time I ever entered a Catholic church, you can’t blame me for being a little confused about the whole cabinet thing with a wall between them. After all, everyone was singing about glory to god and what not. So I…”
Janus slapped him. “This is why you were almost burned at the stake yesterday.”
“Excuse you,” Remus said, putting his hand over his heart. “I was almost drowned.”
“You were almost drowned?” Pat asked, his voice seeming legitimately distressed.
Remus shrugged a smile on his face that caused a Pavlovian migraine to start up behind Janus’s eyes. “It’s one of the hazards of the jobs, and really it would have all been worth it if I’d actually gotten to drown in that man’s…”
“We’re in a church!” Janus cut him off switching from Spanish to Swahili in the hopes that no random passersby would be able to understand him in this time and place. “Don’t talk about lewd sex things. Don’t talk about sex at all. It’s a Catholic church!”
Remus continued to speak in Spanish with no regard for anything. “But not talking about lewd sex things takes away 3/4ths of my personality,” he pouted.
“More like 9/10th,” Janus grumbled, “and the other 1/10th is just normal stupid.”
“Hey, you shouldn’t be mean,” Pat scolded, in fucking English for some reason, “but Remus, honey, you probably shouldn’t be saying things like that right now.”
“No, no, he has a point,” Remus said switching to English.
“He’s my partner, I have the right to call him stupid,” Janus insisted.
“And I love you too!” Remus said in Greek because he was really, truly, stupid.
Pat looked between the two, but then seemed to accept it, dropping the concerned expression for a slightly amused one. “If you say so.”
“Can I… help you?” A voice asked. All three of them whipped around to see a young boy looking at them and seeming very confused. Which was fair considering that to his ears, they’d just been speaking nonsense.
“We’re here to pray!” Remus claimed, then he turned to wink at Pat and said under his breath in Swahili, “to that ass.” Pat went immediately bright red again, which was doubtlessly Remus’s aim. Janus subtlety stepped on his foot while smiling at the boy.
“Oh,” the boy said. “Okay.” Thankfully, he didn’t seem interested in questioning the random strangers in front of him further. “I’m going to go back to the celebration now.”
Janus smiled at him. “Have fun,” he said. He waited for the boy to leave through the front door before slapping Remus on the back of the head.
“Ow!” he whined sounding far too pained for how hard Janus had actually hit him.
Janus rolled his eyes. “Let’s just start investigating,” he said.
“Sure, sure, you never let me have any fun,” Remus said, pulling up his wrist and spinning the golden bracelets on his arm. “Hmm…” he said.
“What?” asked Pat.
“Either I put on the wrong jewelry this morning… or my timepiece isn’t working.”
“Well, then I’m guessing we’re in the right place,” Janus said. He turned to Pat. “Your stuff still working?”
Pat brought up whatever device was on his hands. “Yeah,” he said, “and it looks like something is just starting.” Just as he said it, there was a violent crash of thunder.
“Well,” Janus said. “We should probably find the source and soon. Which way?”
Pat glanced around himself and then motioned with his wrist. Suddenly there was a 3D display of the church in front of them.
Janus could see immediately where the problem had to originate. There was a swirling mass of some sort of energy centered at the top of the bell tower of the church. As he watched, he saw the picture of the church glitch out a bit. He had a bad feeling about that.
“Is there something wrong with your display?” he asked, or more hoped.
Pat shook his head slowly. “I don’t think so…” The room seemed to shift suddenly underneath their feet. It felt a bit like time travel, but also wrong. The picture on the display flickered harder, part of the building fracturing and dissolving before appearing back in place. The room settled after a moment, but Janus’s stomach did not.
“Whatever is going on,” Janus said, “We need to stop it right now.”
Pat nodded. “The quickest way up would be that way,” Pat said pointing. The display closed as he did.
“Then, let’s go,” Janus said.
The world was eerily calm as they all started off in the direction Pat had pointed out. In fact, it was almost too quiet.
“Where’s the nearest window?” Janus asked when they came out on the second floor.
Pat glanced at his hand. “There should be a couple a few feet that way.” Janus nodded and left them standing there. When he glanced out of the first window he came to, it appeared to be night. Yet, when he walked to the next window, he saw daylight.
26606
“Time is fracturing,” Janus informed them. “We need to be careful.” This time distortion was much more intense than any of the other ones the agency had been tracking down over the last few months. It had also come on much faster. Usually there was some time between when the time distortion began and it started having extreme effects on the environment. He was suddenly very glad that he and Remus had not split up today. He was even glad for Pat’s company, no matter how aggravating he may be sometimes. Not to mention, he was glad for the man’s technology that seemed to circumvent whatever was blocking Janus and Remus’s timepieces.
He backed away from the windows and returned to the others.
“Whatever you do,” Janus said. “Don’t let anyone be in a room alone.”
“I know what time fractures are this time,” Pat promised.
“It was as much for the idiot as it was for you,” Janus said.
“You accidently bring a bubonic plague infested rat to 900BC one time and you never live it down.”
“I’d say I should put a leash on you, but you’d twist it into something disgusting.”
“Probably,” Remus agreed.
“Where next?” Janus asked, ignoring him.
“That way,” Pat said.
They walked together to the door he’d indicated. “Please don’t be bullshit,” Janus prayed. He opened the door and immediately got bowled over by a stream of salt water.
Chapter 19
Janus landed flat on his back, a wave of water splashing over him and then quickly retreating, but still leaving him absolutely drenched. He sighed, looking at the ceiling. “Don’t,” he warned, “say a word.”
Of course, he was with the two most impossible people in all of space and time, so neither of them headed him.
“I thought you said we were far from the ocean, Jan,” Pat said.
“Yeah, Janny,” Remus immediately jumped on board because he was an asshole. “I thought we were far from the ocean!”
“Maybe I’ll achieve my goal of finding the Flying Dutchman after all!”
“Ooo ghost pirates! I’ve never gotten to fight ghost pirates before. Any good with a sword Patty?”
“My friend has a sword and he let me use it before… but all I did was cut a hole in our couch, and then Lo was mad at us.”
“I mean… just pretend the pirates are a couch and we’ll be good!”
Janus slowly sat up. There was still water on the floor and every so often a wave would crash into the room as though the door frame signaled the edge of a beach. Pat reached down to offer him a hand up and Janus slapped it away.
“Rude!” Pat claimed, but his eyes were alight with mischief.
Janus shoved himself to his feet on his own power.
“You deserve it,” he hissed. “For all of this!” he waved his arms around.
“Water you talking about. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You are on thin ice.”
He looked down at his feet with a contemplative expression. “Looks like water to me.”
“Arg!” Janus spat, throwing up his arms.
“I don’t sea why you’re screaming, Janus.”
“Yeah,” Remus contributed. “You seem overally emotional to me.”
“Yes, yes,” Pat replied. “Very em-ocean-al.”
“One may even say he’s pretty salty.”
“I know where you live, Remus,” Janus reminded.
“Alright, alright Remus, reel it in,” Pat said.
Remus opened his mouth to respond, but Janus cut him off. “Why don’t the two of you dedicate all of that brain power to figuring out how to cross the literal ocean in the next room,” Janus suggested hotly.
And it was a literal ocean. If one ignored where they were and the fact that there was a staircase climbing out of said ocean about 80 or so meters away. There was sand being washed up across the door frame and a seagull flying in the distance. At least it looked like a nice day in the room with the way the sun was glinting off the water. At least it wasn’t storming there. Yet.
Janus’s head throbbed with the thought of what had to be happening with the time distortion to plop a piece of the ocean into one single room in a church. Usually they’d be calling the TPI for backup or at least for information, but that was a loss. Even if they tried to get out of range of whatever was disrupting their timepieces, time was so unstable, they’d very possibly get dumped somewhere dangerous. It was better to just get to the time distortion as quickly as possible and stop it.
“Hmm,” Remus said. “I wonder how deep it is. Do you think there are man eating sharks in the water? Or giant jelly fish? Remember that one time I got stung by a jelly fish and almost died?”
“Yes,” Janus said, lips pursed, “and it was entirely your fault.”
“I just looked so squishy!” he declared, “I didn’t know it was a murder blob.”
“I think I have a boat,” Pat said.
They both turned to him. “What?” Janus asked. He was looking at his hands and just hummed in response to Janus’s question. The next thing he knew, Pat made some motion with his hand and a yellow raft started to autofill from his palm. “...Why?” Janus asked.
“I… recently started carrying a wilderness survival pack in my time device.”
“I’m not going to question it. It’s better than swimming.” By the time the raft was completely deployed, they’d all been shoved into the walls by it.
“Huh, on second thought. I probably should have put the raft in the room before blowing it up.”
“You think?” asked Janus.
Pat glared at him over it. “I never really thought about how to open it in a narrow second floor corridor.”
“Just try to shove it through the door without popping it.”
“Why are you looking at me?!” asked Remus.
They managed to somehow squeeze the raft through the door into the other room after a few minutes.
Pat squinted at the tottering raft he was holding to the door frame. “After you,” he offered.
Janus glared at him.
“You’re already soaked!” Pat defended himself.
Janus sighed and very carefully climbed into the raft. It tottered dangerously, but he didn’t immediately fall out, so that was a plus. The other two of them slowly also climbed onto the raft with him. They then sat in it for a few seconds. “Is there an oar?” Janus asked.
“Oh right!” Pat did something else with the device in his hands and an oar slowly unfolded from his hand.
“Seriously, I want one of those,” Remus said.
“Let’s just get out of here,” Janus said, snatching the oar. The staircase luckily wasn’t too far away. They probably could have swam it if necessary, but the raft gave them some modicum of protection. Everything seemed to be going in their favor, which of course meant everything was about to go incredibly wrong.
They were about halfway across the water when the entire world around them rumbled.
“…I hope that was a giant jellyfish,” Remus said.
It was unfortunately not a jellyfish or any sea creature at all. The world around them fractured, the ocean seeming to split right down the middle so the water right of the staircase was 6 feet higher than on the left. The sky flashed red and yellow before the water split completely like Moses splitting the Red Sea.
There was a millisecond as the split widened until it was only a few feet from them, to decide whether when they landed they wanted to be on the side with the water or on the side without it. On one hand, going towards the side without water could mean they fell to their deaths or the water crashed back down on top of them when it settled. On the other hand, if the fissure was closing or shifting to a new area, it was very possible that they’d end up trapped in the middle off the ocean with no connection to the church.
Well, the best chance to actually get to where they were going was probably the side without water. It seemed everyone had the same idea at once because as he grabbed for both of them, they both grabbed for him and they all went tumbling off the raft into what could have very well been a bottomless pit.
Janus learned after a couple of seconds of free fall, that it was definitely not a bottomless pit. He landed hard, flat on his back and saw stars. The next moment something landed on top of him, squeezing all of the air out of his lungs.
Something else fell half on top of his legs.
“Ow,” Pat said from near his ear.
“Yeah, well you’re the one on the top,” Janus groaned though his teeth.
“Wow, I never took you for a bottom, Janus,” Remus said from near his feet. Janus kicked up his legs into whatever part of him was on top of Janus and he gave an “oof.”
Pat snorted a bit and Janus glared at his… shoulder? He shifted around a bit so he was less thrown across Janus and more just on top of him. Janus blinked. There was a wooden ceiling above them, so that was a good sign, though there was also a giant dark hole of nothingness directly above them which was not as good.
Janus moved slightly. He could tell he was going to be bruised later, but he didn’t seem seriously injured. “We should,” he started, but was interrupted as the hole above them pulsated and dumped a bunch of sea water.
Pat shrieked as they were all drenched with the chilly water. Luckily, they seemed to be on higher ground because, while water kept pouring out of the hole, it drained away just as quickly instead of drowning them.
Water still hitting his back relentlessly, Pat peeled his head up to look Janus in the eyes. A giggle bubbled out of his mouth.
“It isn’t funny,” Janus informed him. Pat just giggled more, leaning his head against Janus’s chest and cackling.
Janus just rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, this is an entirely appropriate reaction. Thank you for your contribution to our very important mission.”
Pat seemed incapable of stopping laughing completely, but he did calm himself enough to peel himself off Janus’s chest and lean forward so their noses almost touched. “It’s hilarious and you know it,” he claimed.
“In what way is this ‘hilarious’?”
“In many waves,” was the joy filled answer.
“You’re horrible.”
Pat hummed. He hadn’t moved to get off of him even though they really should be moving in case something worse than water came through the hole in the ceiling. He hadn’t even moved his face away.
“No, no, you two just tell me when you’re done being gay for each other,” Remus interrupted. Janus was surprised to see he’d stood up at some point and was now hovering over them.
Janus flipped him off even while Pat laughed once again. Pat finally drew away and rolled off of him so Janus could sit up. Pretty much everything hurt when Janus moved, but he was able to stand up, so he was probably fine enough. “So,” he said looking around. “Where are we now?”
Chapter 20
Janus looked around himself while Pat booted up his map to try to figure out where they were. They were in a small room that may actually be considered a large landing as there were staircases on either side of it. The water that was still coming out of the ceiling was running down the staircase that led down from the room.
Something was stopping the water, creating a pool on the steps that was already about to overflow into the room. With the speed the water was flowing, they should have enough time before the room completely filled up with water and drowned them.
Janus wondered if they were in the church or not. It was not out of the question and there was church like décor around them, but who knew? He could feel a strange vibration in the ground and the one window in the room shone with green light.
“Hmm,” said Pat. “That looks not good.” He’d projected his map so they could all see everything.
The map itself was moving. Rooms were phasing in and out of focus and fracturing down the middle. One room was even spinning lazily around in circles. Janus could see the room they were in. It was connected to the bigger blob of rooms, and there was a black line connecting it to another room from the top which was obviously the hole spewing water at them.
“Well, at least the time distortion is still coming from the bell tower,” Remus said. Janus shot him an unamused glance. Said bell tower was currently upside down and shuddering as well as divided from any other room by at least two inches of empty space.
28842
“How are we supposed to get there?” asked Pat.
“We don’t,” Janus said. “It’s literally impossible.”
“There has to be some way,” Pat argued with a frown.
“If we try to use time travel, we’ll definitely get shredded by the warping time and space around it and walking there isn’t an option. There aren’t even any entrances!”
“Well, there were at one point.”
“Yeah, before,” he gestured wildly to the ceiling that was still pouring water into the room.
“So?” Pat asked.
“’So’?! What do you mean ‘so’?!”
Pat shrugged. “When one door closes, cut another one.”
Janus froze and looked at him for a long moment. “Where the hell did you hear that?”
Patton raised an eyebrow. “You.”
“I don’t think like that anymore.”
“Well then I guess we’ll die,” Pat said lightly. “Of course, that’ll make an even worse time loop considering I’ve met older versions of you.”
“Fuck,” Janus spat. “Fuck. Fine. Give me a minute to think. Not that I even know if we have a minute because,” he gestured once again to the room.
“Okay,” Janus said. “The room with the source of the time distortion is separated from us by a swirling pool of dark nothingness and there is no way to get to it. But, the only way we’re going to stop the distortion from ripping apart time and killing us as well as probably a bunch of other people is to get to it. That is an impossible situation. There is no solution. That door is closed to us. What other ways are there to look at it?” He looked at the visual representation of the rooms. One of them suddenly went spinning out and his eyes tracked it. We need to be in the same place as the source,” Janus said. “That is fact, but we don’t have to get to it.”
“Um, what do you mean?” Remus asked. Pat shushed him.
“If you want thing A and thing B to be in the same place, there’s more than one way to do it. If you can’t move thing A to thing B, you might be able to move thing B to thing A. Pat, you have a working time device. We can’t travel with it because that would kill us, but if we can make it do a stutter warp, it could draw the time distortion to it.”
“You…” Remus said. “Want to create another time distortion in hopes that the original time distortion will be pulled into this room?”
“Yes.”
“Well, sounds good to me!” Remus said.
He maybe had expected Pat to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he moved his hand to his wrist. There had been nothing there before, but when he touched down on his wrist with two fingers, there was suddenly a metal bound around it that Janus immediately recognized from the times he’d seen Pat’s timepiece before. How was it made invisible? He shook the thought off as Pat offered it up wordlessly. Janus took it and Pat leaned over his shoulder to look.
Despite the fact that the device looked nothing like his own, the interface was surprisingly convenient. “I assume you have safety setting to prevent a stutter warp,” Janus said. “How do I turn those off?”
Patton pointed at a gear icon on the screen. “You put it under your normal settings?” he asked.
“I have to put in my password or use my fingerprint!” Pat defended.
“It doesn’t matter right now.” He navigated through the settings. He was interested to see that there were many different saved default security settings, but he didn’t get much of a chance to read what all they did. He just turned them all off.” It popped up with a message to put in the password and Pat pressed his fingertip to it. Another message popped up warning them that turning off these settings could cause damage to the machinery, the person using it, and time itself. Janus pushed “okay.” A message popped up that asked “Continue” and Janus pressed “yes.” One last message popped up that said “Security functions disabled.” Janus pressed “okay.”
“Anything else I’d need to disable?”
“Nope,” Pat confirmed.
He navigated back to the main screen and then bought up the manual travel input screen. Yet another message warning him not to do this flashed and Janus once again ignored it. He copied the space time coordinates that the device said they were currently at and put it in the ‘travel to’ location. “Well,” he said. “Here it goes. Let it be known that if I die, it’s my own fault for allowing Remus into a church.”
“Really?” Remus said. “That’s what you’re choosing to be your last words?”
Janus just raised an eyebrow.
“Love you too Janus.”
Janus nodded and hovered his finger over the travel button. He quickly mashed his finger to the button 22 times.”
The device warmed in his hand enough that he almost dropped it. Time literally froze for a few breaths as whatever Deity that may or may not exist processed their stupidity.
Janus was not a scientist or technician, but he had a good idea of how badly they were fucking up right now. The timepiece was attempting to travel over and over again to the exact same place and time. This basically punched a small hole through time, that if left unfixed would grow and disrupt space time all around them. As it was, their current position, all gathered around it and staring at it while one of them had it literally in their hand, was perilous.
There was a rumble under their feet and the world tilted on it’s axis. The all went tumbling down in a pile of limbs to new floor of the room which had once been a wall.
Of course, this change of gravity caused the water that had been building up in the staircase to dump on top of them.
Janus would have cursed, but he was too busy being under the water. He maneuvered himself away from the other two flailing bodies and managed to shove his feet against the wall turned floor. His head popped above the water in time to see the ceiling, or well, it would be the opposite wall, rip in two and the other walls/floor/ceiling start to fold in.
“Give me a boost!” Pat called over the noise of water rushing and walls crunching.
“Give you a boost where?” Janus asked.
“Up!” Janus wasn’t sure if ‘up’ really existed right now, but he still nodded. The water was a few inches over his head, so he held his breath and interlaced his hands so Pat could put his foot in it. He was shoved down into the water, but it gave Pat enough leverage to shoot up out of the water. When Janus resurfaced, he saw that the man had grabbed ahold of the crumbling wall and was pulling himself up into what for all appearances seemed to be absolutely nothing.
It took a moment, but then Janus blinked, and he was suddenly in a new room entirely or perhaps it was the same room. He honestly didn’t know at this point. Remus was next to him. He couldn’t recall if he’d been there before the shift or not, but they were both treading water. Pat crashed into the water next to them. Janus’s wrist buzzed as his timepiece came back online. “Got it!” Pat declared when he resurfaced, holding a device up. It looked almost the same as the device they’d found in France, but this one was definitely different if it was able to cause that much chaos that quickly.
Janus looked around and pointed at what appeared to be a set of stairs. The three of them swam over and pulled themselves out of the water.
“Where are we?” Pat asked.
“Looks like a basement,” Remus replied. “A flooded basement.”
Janus pulled up his timepiece and pushed some buttons to stabilize Pat’s timepiece. It slowly stopped vibrating and cooled. “Here,” he said, handing it over to him. “I suggest you put the safeties back on now.”
Pat nodded and took it.
“We’re still in Cuba,” Remus informed them, looking at his own timepiece. “Same church too, but in the basement and… two and a half centuries later.”
“Remy is going to be pissed,” Janus said.
Remus shrugged. “He’s always pissed… at least at me.”
“Well,” said Pat, slipping his timepiece back onto his wrist. “Thanks for being willing to pool our resources.”
Janus rolled his eyes. “Stop.”
“Ah, mi sirenito-”
“I hate you.”
“-never.” He disappeared with a pop which was when Janus realized, he’d never handed over device that had caused the first time distortion.
“…You bastard!” he yelled at thin air as though the man could hear him.
“Well,” said Remus, “that mission went swimmingly.” Janus reached over and shoved him back into the water.
Chapter 21
“We should probably get out of here,” Janus said, very much not helping Remus out of the water. Remus pulled himself back up onto the staircase and shook like a dog. Janus crinkled his nose as water droplets hit him. They didn’t smell salty anymore, he noted. In fact, there was a broken pipe spewing out water on the other side of the room.
Janus and Remus cautiously snuck out of the church, not wanting to be seen and blamed for the flooded basement. They came out on a city street that was much different than the one they’d entered from.
They walked down the street a bit, Janus’s eyes scanning the buildings. His eyes caught on a sign and he tugged Remus towards it.
They entered the small paladare and the person delivering food to one of the tables blinked at them both. Right. They were in clothing from the 1700s and were soaking wet. He met eyes with the woman, challenging her to say something. She did not.
They found a seat at one of the tables.
“Ah…” the worker said, approaching them. “English?”
“Ron,” Janus said, “por favor.”
Remus turned and started ordering the both of them food in Spanish. Janus didn’t pay attention to what he did.
After his second shot of rum, Janus sighed and brought up his timepiece to ping the TPI. The reaction was almost instantaneous from their perspective. Remy all but kicked down the restaurant’s door and walked over to them. “How the fuck?”
“Ah, Remy,” Janus said calmly. “Have a seat. We’re waiting on our food.”
He did, but probably only because people were looking at them. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s been a long day,” Janus answered, “and I’m hungry.”
“Yeah, it certainly looks like you’re interested in the food,” Remy said, eyeing the empty shot glasses.
“Let’s just say, I’m glad Cuba started letting paladares legally serve liquor a few years ago.”
It’s clear that Remy wanted to ask them what had happened, but he also was cautious enough not to make a scene here and Janus wasn’t planning on getting up until he’d at least gotten his food. “Why are you soaked, by the way?”
“Turns out the ocean isn’t as far away as we thought,” Janus said.
“Also, a church basement is flooded,” Remus said.
“Fantastic,” Remy replied.
They sat there mostly in tense silence until their food came, and then Remus and Janus ate. Remy slapped down some pesos once they were done and then proceeded to all but physically drag them out of the restaurant.
They were led to an alley way and then through an old almost hidden door. Remy immediately rounded on them. “What the hell happened?” Remy asked.
“The time distortion caused level 5 time fractures in its vicinity, we almost drowned three times, and the worst person in the universe fucked me over again.”
“To be fair,” Remus said. “He did save our lives before that.”
“I saved our lives first,” Janus said. “I don’t have to be fair.”
“Oh, yeah, Mr. Curl Up In A Ball And Perish. I’m sure we would have been fine without him.”
“Anyway,” Janus said to Remy. “If you want your lump of flesh, I suggest you take it now, because Khalid is going to murder me, and then fire me, and then rehire me so she can put me on desk duty and make me do paperwork until the end of time.”
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So Shane liked a tweet about going crazy if they don't date someone in the ripped jeans community and my mind immediately went to Ryan's ripped knee black skinnies and I just- 😩😤 nEED a drabble, or ficlet, or ANYTHING about Shane pining for ripped jeans Bergara. Or don't it's okay you work hard enough as it is I just really want to talk about this since I am also a hoe for ripped/distressed jeans 😅❤️
Nonnie, I’m so glad you sent his. I had to go look for myself AND BAM! You and Shane are so valid, tho, It gets me every time djbvidnfidnfifr
(pic credit to @helloitsvehere)So, here’s a little something.
(Read on AO3)
Ryan must know. He certainly must know what it does to Shane every single time he shows up to work in those ripped back pants.
He has to.
There was no way he hadn’t noticed after years of knowing each other, that Shane’s eyes would linger on him and his legs more often when wearing said pants. He couldn’t be that blind, that fucking naive.
Shane really wanted to believe his friend must know, otherwise they were both lost, and otherwise he was about to either lost a good friend AND one of his work partners, making Watcher HQ into an awkward working space for everyone, or just give him a good laugh he would probably end up sharing with the other lovable dudebros at his home.
“Ry,” There goes nothing, the man looked at him after pausing the video he was trying to edit.
For a second, Shane forgot what he was about to say.
It wasn’t just the pants, of course.
Ryan was a handsome man. He had a beautiful body and gorgeous face. But it was also… just Ryan. The little guy. The man that kept him awake in more than one sense, listening to ramblings about ghosts but by also just existing as Shane wondered if his sleep schedule was alright or someone kept him up like it was happening to him.
His eyes went down, immediately looking for the prize. The skin exposed was enough to have Shane fanning himself like a improper lady of the past century, horny at just the sight of some flesh, and someday he’d wanted to tell this joke to Ryan but right now, his fingers touched the skin, seeing as Ryan tensed under it.
Shane looked up, unsure if his touch had been too much or– Ryan looked at him with expectation, seeking an explanation in silence as he left everything happen in the middle of the day when people were distracted.
Maybe Shane should have thought this through.
“I like your pants.” He said lamely, but it seemed to make the trip since Ryan didn’t groan or hit his hand away.
So, he dared a little bit more, moving his fingers until his palm was firm on Ryan’s knee, fingers slowly going under the dark denim.
“I know you do.” Ryan answered at least, stealing a smile from Shane.
Of course he knew.
His cock throbbed in his own pants, very aware of this conversation.
Shane’s fingers went up, softly touching the skin he had been dreaming of, eyes lost on his own movements without thinking of how Ryan must look, how red his face must be. But the man didn’t move away, just let Shane touch him as if he had been waiting for this to happen, too.
This of being brave was turning out to be pretty good, Shane swallowed as he cheered himself up with these thoughts to try something else.
“You know what I think when I see you in these?” He asked, discreetly making sure nobody was looking or listening to them.
Fortunately, Steven had a conference on a campus that morning, taking with him a few people since he wanted to take the chance to talk with some possible participants for Homemade, which left them with fewer people to worry about in his not-so-romantic confessional plan.
He should have thought this further, but whatever.
“I have an idea…” Ryan admitted in a whisper, the smoothness in his voice didn’t face him.
Shane looked up, finding Ryan interested in whatever he was about to say.
“I want to rip them more until I can see those skinny briefs I know you’re wearing.” He answered in a whisper too, hoping he had used the right amount of sexy to get this to another place later, his cock needed this to end right. “I wouldn’t take them off, though. Just open up enough to let me get those briefs down and fuck that pretty little ass of yours.”
A shiver went up Ryan’s body, his lips forming a white line on his face as his eyes closed for a second, and Shane wondered if he went too far. The answer came as Ryan’s hand landed on his, grip strong and warm, and Shane had to stop a gasp from escaping him, realizing just now how much he wanted Ryan to touch him too.
He was hard. Shane wondered if Ryan could see it, if he knew he had this effect on him on a regular basis.
“These are really nice, though.” Shane added, Ryan opened his eyes and looked at him with a tiny smile. “I think I’ll just remove them a little and worship that ass.”
“I knew you were an ass man.” Ryan shook his head, pulling slightly on Shane’s sleeve where his hand was over his.
Shane rolled his chair closer to him.
If he kissed him now, would Ryan beat him up for being such a non-romantic and exposing a possible relationship between them to everyone in the office just like that?
He smiled at his friend when Ryan looked at him.
“I’m home alone today,” he said with a dreamy sigh, “do you wanna come?”
“Baby,” Shane smiled at him, wide and so damn excited, “of course I want to come.” He said, Ryan rolled his eyes but laughed. “With you, preferably.”
“Oh, I better come first if you are ravishing my clothes.” He said, pausing for a second to look at something on Shane’s face. His lips, then his eyes, then lips again. He swallowed visibly. “Multiple times, though. That would be ideal.”
Shane snorted, going away before they ruined their first kiss. “Ideal! Multiple times is law, baby. You just have to wait.” He winked at him.
Ryan shook his head while laughing again, going back to his place as he seemed as excited as Shane felt.
He had never been a brave man before, Shane felt some kind of pride and how well everything went. The time to go home couldn’t come sooner, but to know what was to happen once they were on their own after work was all Shane needed to keep going with work all day long.
Except–
Except none of them could.
It wasn’t even lunch time when Ryan left the office space to get into the bathroom, Shane had been following his every move since their little risky conversation, wondering if he could convince him to either leave work or just do something in one of their cars, the bathroom never coming into mind because, again, he was no romantic but at least wanted their first kiss to be something else.
By the time he phone rang and Ryan’s name was displayed on it, Shane had frowned but stood up, starting to walk into the bathroom to see if everything was alright.
“Come.” Was all Ryan said, hanging up immediately.
With a frown, Shane walked in, finding him sitting in front of the mirror, hands put together between his thighs.
“It’s everything okay?” Shane asked, staying still by the door. “Ry?”
“Close the door…” He asked, his voice husky and just– shit. Shane’s dick stirred awake, he closed the door and walked over to Ryan. “It’s just–”
“I know.” Shane answered, finding his place between Ryan’s open legs. “I know…”
He wasn’t going to kiss him in this bathroom, doesn’t matter how clean and fresh they kept it.
Shane buried his face on Ryan’s neck, kissing softly on the skin exposed there as he felt Ryan relax at his touch. His hands were on Shane’s shoulders, just there as they didn’t push him away or move him forward, he took this as a sign to keep going and so, he bit a little onto his skin, aware of not leaving any marks that could lift eyebrows in the office.
Suddenly, Ryan’s legs rounded his hips, getting him closer than before and Shane chuckled, looking at Ryan as his hands held the man by his sides.
They looked at each other for a long moment, maybe an entire minute as he found this was not just lust and overgrown tension of years of wanting. It was longing, a feeling that this should had happened a long time ago but they had been waiting for the other to give them a sign.
As it turned out, it had always been there, but they had just been too scared to act on it.
Shane was not going to kiss Ryan in this bathroom, he hoped the man understood this as he let his forehead lean on Ryan’s, closing his eyes as they breathed the same air.
“I don’t care.” Ryan murmured. “I just want you.”
He swallowed, looking up to find Ryan’s determined stare that always made him shiver and smile. There was no braver man in the world, no firmer man.
Shane was truly in love with the best man ever.
His hand cradled Ryan’s cheek, thumb caressing him tenderly, eyes on his lips as he slowly leaned in. He could feel Ryan’s warm breath as his eyes closed, soon finding the soft of his lips in a firm kiss that made every pining second worth it.
They kissed sure of each other, aware of the feelings they held for the other and how strong their attraction had become. They kissed like if they had been waiting an eternity for it to happen and finally, finally, they had found their way to each other.
Ryan opened his mouth wider, tongue caressing Shane’s lips until he granted him entrance and the man explored his mouth. The air in Shane’s lungs felt hot, his tongue moved on Ryan’s and slowly went into the man’s mouth, feeling as they got closer, so close he could feel Ryan’s hard-on on his belly, making his own cock throb in his pants.
A string of saliva kept their mouths connected when they went apart, Ryan eyes were open and hooded, expecting as Shane moved away and made him get down and into a stall with him.
They didn’t bother closing it, Shane just made sure the toilet was closed before sitting down and waiting for Ryan to get himself comfortable on his lap.
Words felt unnecessary, their hands spoke for them as they were kissing again and Shane’s fingers found the skin of Ryan’s knees again, going up slowly until he could jank at it and get Ryan closer, making the two of them moan between their lips when their erections touched.
He had meant it when he said he wanted to rip the jeans apart, he wanted to unravel Ryan and know every corner of his body, and Shane hoped they would have time for exactly that later, when they were alone in his room, on his bed, very naked and unbothered.
Right now, he wanted to give Ryan what he needed, what they both needed. And with a smile, Shane moved his lips, making Ryan sigh with the way his erection rubbed on Shane’s belly as Shane’s found friction on his ass.
It had been a while since he last did this. Years, actually. Not since freshman year in college.
He wondered if it was the same for Ryan, or if he was more familiar with the desperation that came with each touch of clothes where they needed hands and warmth.
“Fuck…” Ryan murmured, both hands on Shane’s nape as he started to move his hips in rhythm with Shane’s. “You’re gonna make me come in my pants?”
“Yes.” Shane answered, “Open your eyes. I want you to see it when it happens.”
“I–” He moaned, his lips were red and used, his movements slow but firm, almost afraid of this ending too soon.
Shane swallowed, holding Ryan by the hips to make him go faster with him. He trusted forward, moaning with Ryan as his eyes snapped open, looking into Shane’s with his mouth hanging open, letting out soft moans and sighs that made Shane’s cock throb in desperation.
If just with this he felt lost, Shane could only imagine how it would feel like to have Ryan naked against him.
“Fa-faster… please…”
Whatever you want, he wanted to say, whatever you need, but his mouth was more busy with Ryan’s neck and every other inch of skin he could find on his collarbone and shoulders. Shane moved faster, aware of how every trust made him want this man more, made him wish they could get riskier in here.
“Ry,” He called him, holding him still in spite of the way Ryan whined in protest. “Stop that, here…”
His fingers went down, undoing Ryan’s button and putting down his zipper. Ryan moved slightly, giving him more space to take out his cock after pulling his pants and boxers down slightly. Shane smiled at the sight, giving him a few strokes as he got his pants open with his free hand.
Ryan moved again, giving Shane more space as he struggled to fish for his own dick and put down his jeans and underwear enough for it to happen. When his cock sprung free, Ryan giggled. Like a fucking schooler, giddy at the sight of another dick.
Shane rolled his eyes.
“What’s so funny, Bergara?”
When he stopped, Shane looked up at his face. He had such a shiny and happy expression, Shane moved his head to one side, waiting for an answer.
He could feel Ryan’s fingers back on his nape, slowly caressing where his hair was covering before kissing him softly.
“I knew your cock was big.”
It made Shane laugh, it also made him trust upwards. Ryan moaned at the touch, bitting his bottom lip as Shane brought their cocks together with one hand. Swallowing visibly, Ryan went back to kiss him, trying to move on his fist.
“Oh, I bet you heard the rumours back in our old office…” Shane murmured, looking at Ryan’s face as he pumped their dicks together. “Of course you’ll be a size queen, always looking for the best, uh?”
“Mmm…” Ryan nodded, hips trying hard to stay still as Shane stroke their cocks together. His arms rounded Shane’s neck, he loosened the grip a little to finally let Ryan move against his cock, fucking into his fist as Shane continued his task. “I always knew, though…”
“Yeah?” He closed his eyes, feelings Ryan’s breathing on his face as they stole kisses between words, movements going faster.
“Mhm.” Ryan continued, kissing Shane for longer, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. “Since I first saw you…” He moaned, “I thought that… if your head was so big, your dick better be as big.”
Shane snorted, laughing as Ryan kept moving his hips. When he looked at the man’s face, he was smiling, eyes shining bright with lust and want. He stopped moving, Ryan looked down between them and saw Shane bring his hand to his mouth, spitting on his pal and then showing it to Ryan.
“Spit.” Shane said, showing his palm to Ryan.
The man frowned, “What?”
“Spit on my hand, come on…”
“Ugh, you are so fucking weird…” Ryan answered, spitting still and making Shane laugh.
He brought it down to Ryan’s cock, the wet sensation making it easier for his hand to move on his skin, making Ryan moan as he stroke him a few more times before repeating his actions, asking Ryan to spit again and doing the same on his own cock.
“Fuck…” He groaned now, bringing their cocks together again, stroking both faster than before. “Fuck!”
“Shit–” Ryan held himself on his shoulders, looking down to watch their cocks disappear together on Shane’s fist. “Jeeesus fuck–”
“Ry,”
“Don’t stop,” Ryan looked up, his hips moving slightly again. “Shit, I’m close– don’t stop!”
Ryan’s eyes closed, the frown on his face made him look adorable in a way Shane couldn’t truly describe. He wanted to capture this image forever, sure to bring it back a few times for when he was alone and in need of Ryan.
He swallowed, groaning as he felt Ryan’s cock throb in his hand, against his own dick.
“Fuck, I’m–”
Shane nodded, watching as Ryan moved his own hips faster as his neck and shoulders tensed, his grip on Shane’s own shoulders feeling harsh. He was probably going to leave his mark, Shane couldn’t help but feel excited at the thought of finding it later on his skin. He couldn’t wait for both to discover each mark they were sure to make in each other in here and once they were out work.
“Shane–”
“Mmm, are you gonna come for me?” He asked, licking a line on Ryan’s neck when the man arched it with eyes closed hard. “Ry, my angel, are you gonna come for me?”
“Fuck!”
His cock twitched when Ryan came, the sight of his beautiful face frowning with pleasure as his fingers gripped Shane’s shoulders harder was everything Shane needed to find his own release.
Moaning in each other’s mouth with a wet and messy kiss, Shane stroked them both through their orgasms, using their come as lube until they were spent and slowly softening. He held them in his hand, close together and sensitive, as Ryan kept kissing him silly and sloppy.
He couldn’t help but smile, happy this had happened even if they had made a mess or seemed too desperate. They had waited long enough.
“Fuck…” Ryan murmured, forehead against Shane.
“Mmm…” Shane sighed, finally letting their cocks slip from his hand.
Shane hoped their indiscretion wouldn’t be too loud. Thank fuck the bathrooms were far enough from the office, but still, he hoped they wouldn’t find anyone looking at them weird after this.
They needed to clean up.
“Baby?”
“Just another second, please.” Ryan said, kissing him a few times more as Shane kept his hand away from them. “Shane…”
“Uhm?” Shane answered, smiling at him as Ryan peppered his face with little kisses. “Angel?”
He pecked his lips at the end, Shane followed wanting a longer kiss, but the man had other plans, holding him away with a smile.
“I love you.” He said, firm and happy.
Shane blinked as his heart filled with joy, lungs feeling warm again. He couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. “I love you too, angel.”
All Shane knew was, the wait was worth it.
#shyan#shyan fic#skeptic believer#buzzfeed unclean#idk my muse has been weird lately#THANK YOU FOR THIS NONNIE#mine#my fanfics#my drabbles#otp: we took an oath#shyan*#fanfictions#socmed#shane's twitter#shane's twitter likes#Anonymous
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BTS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 🎃
[You're wearing a scandalous Halloween Costume]
A/N: I know, I know... I'm too late. But better later than never!😜
Gender of the reader: female
Prologue
It's the 31th of October, Halloween. Because the boys unfortunately have to go to practice that evening, you're going to be all alone at home the entire Halloween night. So you spontaneously decide to go to a Halloween-Party with some of your girlfriends. But your boyfriend didn't expect that you dress up in a such short and scandalous outfit (more or less by your own choice ;D), which shows so much bare skin...
「© tipsydipsydo」
These following Scenarios are my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!
I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!
That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.
Thank you.
Jin
Costume: Bunny-Dominatrix
Jin just wants to go to your shared bedroom to get another hoodie he can put on after practice when he drives home. He didn't expect to find you standing in front of the mirror in such an outfit.
He stands frozen in the doorframe and his jaw drops, completely speechless. You're standing in front of your dressing table and concentrate to turning your hair into accurate curls with your flat iron, until you notice Jin in the corner of your eye.
"Jin, what are you doing and why are you looking at me like I'm from an other planet?", you ask, giggling slightly.
Secretly you're thrilled and proud of yourself to get such reaction out of Jin. Mr. Handsome, who always blabber nonstop, can't say a word right now.
Jin knew you wanted to go to a College-Halloweenparty with some friends of yours tonight. But he didn't know that you chose a Bunny Costume... like this! He thought, you were putting on your adorable Bunny Onesie you bought some time ago... and not that his usual so sweet girlfriend was suddenly dressed up like a Bunny-Dominatrix!
Jin bites his lower lip, trying not to show what kind of reactions cause this outfit.
"Not what you've expected, right, Honey?", you question and turn towards him with a teasing smirk on your lips.
Jin just nods slightly, his eyes are wandering over your body. The skirt is shorter than what he would've expected, what you're comfortable to wear and for the first time he sees you in fishnet stockings.
Futhermore, this latex rabbit mask gives you a completely different appearance. Much more ... dominant.
"I ... I didn't think you would wear... that," he says barely noticeable.
"Really not? Then you don't know some other sides of me yet.", you answer and tilt your head provocatively.
"Which sides?", Jin whispers in an airy trembling tone as he approaches you, lays his hands onto your waist and looks down at you. Your dark red lips twist into a devilish grin and you nudge his nose with your index finger.
"I think, we should find it out tonight when I come back home from the party. I think you'll look gorgeous when I tie you up to the headboard and let you beg for permission until I'll let you cum~
Hm? Would you like that, my big boy?"
Yoongi
Costume: Mafia Girl
Before you put your winter coat on and leave the apartment, you quickly go back to your bedroom and stand in front of the full body mirror to take a picture of your outfit. You want to send it to Yoongi, who gets stuck in his love-hated training once again. You hesitate a little bit before you press on the Send-Button. After that, you quickly put your phone in your handbag, grinning a little stupidly, as if you had been caught doing something forbidden. You know Yoongi and know that he will not like your outfit at all.
You don't know where this idea came from, but somehow you wanted to test your boyfriend, how he would react to seeing you in a ... very short outfit.
You like your Mafia-Bad-Girl-Look pretty much, especially how "dangerous" and at some point also lewd these two plastic pistols looks in your Garter Belts.
Just in the moment when you want to sit down in your ordered Taxi, your phone starts to ring. When you take it out of the bag, you already see Yoongi's profile picture. Oh oh, now you're definitely in trouble...
"Hm? My little Gangster Girl", Yoongi say these words in a mocking tone.
"What are you trying to tell me with this outfit? That I haven't fucked you good enough lately? That you can't remember that's me who fill your pussy up so good? Is that so? Well, then I'll make sure tonight that you know who you belong to. It's me, is that clear? I'm gonna turn you into my good Girl again. See you later, lil bad Girl."
Namjoon
Costume: Jane Bennet from Pride and Prejudice with Zombies
After some considerations, you've decided to dress yourself up as Jane Bennet from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. You don't like the movie very much, but at least it's about one of your favorite books and it's Halloween, so the zombies in there are okay too. You just want to leave your shared apartment when Namjoon comes through the door. In surprise you look at him, why he's here now, after all, actually he should be in the dance studio. But how Namjoon looks at your outfit is very much more disbelieving.
"You... want to go to the Halloween party... like that?" He asks with a raised eyebrow.
You look down at you, you are wearing a dress in the style of the 18th century with a corset, but in a modern cut and a waterfall skirt.
Yeah okay, the skirt slit on your left thigh may have gotten a bit too high, but after all, the Garter Belt with the fake knives should be able to be seen! And yes, maybe the corset is really a bit too tight, actually it shouldn't be shown that much of your breasts. But you don't have time to change that anyway.
"Yes why not?"
Namjoon takes a deep breath and presses his lips together.
"I'm not your father who tells you what you're allowed to wear and what not, I'm not gonna tell you what you should to wear, you're a grown up woman and you can choose your outfit for yourself!"
"Namjoon, are you mad?"
"No!"
"Why are you saying such things then?"
Namjoon ruffles his hair and doesn't really look like he's not angry.
"Damn, I don't have much time, I have to go back to practice, but I don't think it's funny how you press your beautiful breasts in this crappy corset and overall, that you'll be out there without me! You know, I'm not going to tell you stupid rules what to do and what not, you're an independent woman and can decide whatever you want to! ...but fuck, I would break this damn corset now if I only had enough time and show you how angry and horny I am! Be prepared when you come home tonight!"
Hoseok
Costume: Satans Daugther
Hoseok knows that you spontaneously decided to go to the Halloween party, now that it was clear he wouldn't get a free evening. He has no problems with it, he always prefers that you're with your girlfriends and around peoples, than to sit alone and lonely at home. At some point during the practice, he realizes that he hadn't asked you as what you are going to dress yourself up for the party. As curious as he is, he text you immediately during the break.
Hobi♡ [07:42 p.m.]: Hey Baby, I forgot to ask you as what you're gonna go to the Party? We'll move on in a few Minutes, have fun later!💕
You [07:44 p.m.]: Hey Hobi! A few days ago I ordered some things from Amazon and now I make my costume out of it. I'm going as Satan's Daughter~😈
Hobi♡ [07:45 p.m.]: So my little Girl is a cute Devil~ With Horns and a Tail too? In my metal Image it's pretty cute!😍
You [07:46 p.m.]: I'll send you a picture, give me a Sec!
You [07:58 p.m.]: *You have sent an image*
You [08:20 p.m.]: I arrived at the party, I'm not gonna look at my phone so often anymore. See you later💋
Hobi♡ [09:11 p.m.]: Baby ... please tell me, that's a bad joke that you're wearing this right now! You didn't leave the house in this...thing?! That's nothing you can call "Outfit"!
Hobi♡ [09:15 p.m.]: Baby... Answer me!
Hobi♡ [09:31 p.m.]: I swear to you ... if you come home tonight in this outfit, I'm gonna ruin you so bad, even Satan would start blushing from Embarrassment.
Hobi♡ [09:40 p.m.]: Be prepared for the fact that you will not be able to walk the next days!
Jimin
Costume: Snow White
"Okay, then I'll come to your house for 08:00 p.m. Okay great! But I have to hang up now, otherwise I won't get a costume for tonight! See you later!"
You press the red calling button and put your phone back into your pocket, go straight into the hall and slip into your winter boots and your coat. Quickly you reach for your wallet and the car keys and head in fast steps to your car. You don't have much time left to get a costume for yourself, in one and a half hours all the stores would be closed because of Halloween. You hope that luck is on your side.
When you finally stand in front of the mirror, you look at yourself critically. Actually, you wanted to have the Snow White Dress with a long skirt, but the store didn't have it there in your size. And because many of your friends are going as Disney princesses, you also wanted a matching dress for the Party. So you decided at the last minute with an uneasy feeling in your stomach to choose the costume with the short skirt. And, as it turns out, this outfit has a very short skirt!
When you were on your way home, Jimin called and just wanted to hear your voice and ask what you are doing on Halloween night, where he sadly has to stay in the studio for practice. You tell him about the spontaneous Halloween Party to which your friends and you want to go.
"Oh, sounds really cool, I wish I could join in. As what are you dressing up as?"
You tell him that you're going as Snow White, already searching for some pretty but also wearable shoes for the night. You want to enjoy the evening and doesn't want to think about aching feet.
"Oh my god, I think that fits you really good and it's gonna be look so cute on you, please send me a picture!"
You look at the wallclock and begin to panic slightly, say that you're already late and you promise him to send him a picture later from the Party.
Later in the evening, a little bit tipsy already and much more confident in your costume, you take a picture with your girlfriends and send it to Jimin, giggling softly.
You are awfully curious about how he will react to this picture and what he's gonna say about it. If he like it? You begin to blush when you remember his intense gaze when you walk around in clothes they're shorter than usual. Especially Dresses and Skirts. He's a little Pervert sometimes, but he's your little Pervert!
You [11:38 p.m.]: *you have send an image*
You [11:39 p.m.]: Jiminieee ... I'm going to jail for Breaking and Entering ... help me!😔
Jiminie💕[11:42 p.m.]: Firstly... why is this dress so fucking short and why does it have such a deep cutout?! And why does it look so sexy on you?!
You [11:44 p.m.]: Do you think? I was unsure at first because it's so short...
Jiminie💕[11:45 p.m.]: You look so damn hot in it and I really don't want to know how all these guys there are looking at my Girl. But... could you please come home soon? I got a problem here. Which only you can solve. So... please?
You [11:46 p.m.]: Let me think... hm, nope! 😜
Jiminie💕 [11:48 p.m.]: Well... then I'll just come to you at the party and fuck you in the bathroom. After all, I know how wet you can get when we do lewd things in public~ 😏
You [11:49 p.m.]: JIMINIEEE! 😳🙈 Don't text me such things!
Jiminie💕 [11:50 p.m.]: Love you Princess~
Jiminie💕 [11:51 p.m.]: I really can't wait anymore until you get home again. Oh God, I want to fuck you so badly right now!
Taehyung
Costume: Red Riding Hood
You [08:36 p.m.]: Hey baby, I just wanted to tell you that some friends of mine spontaneously picked me up for a Trick or Treat-Tour through the neighborhood. So don't worry if I'm not there when you get home.
You quickly write a message to Taehyung before you put the costume on that your girlfriends have brought extra for you. They bought it only for you, so you wouldn't have an excuse why you couldn't come along.
You begin to smile at the thought and roll your eyes. They've really thought of everything, to be on the safe side they have chosen a Red Riding Hood Costume, arguing that you can take Yeontan with you as your wolf and he gets an extra long Walkie.
Behind the locked bathroom door you can hear your girls squeal with delight and Tanni barks full of exitement when they call him a handsome boy.
After you closed the zipper of the dress, you get up and straighten your dress. Well... your friends have chosen a short dress for you! They probably didn't realize that you're a little bit taller than the average. You shrug with your shoulders, you're only wearing it for this evening and you're not alone on the streets anyway.
You make a picture for Taehyung and send it to him, jokingly complain about the short skirt, before you slip into your shoes and put Tannie's dog harness on, who is more than happy about the evening walk.
Tae💜 [09:21 p.m.]: Hey Darling! To be honest, I think the dress is pretty short too... Please stay safe when you're out there. Who knows what kind of drunken idiots try to chat you up?😕
You [09:35 p.m.]: Oh Tae ... I understand your worries, but why do you always have to think the worst of your own gender? 😅
We girls will looking after each other, Nicki is dressed as Harley Quinn and has a baseball bat with her! So nothing to worry about😘
You [09:37 p.m.]: *you have sent an image*
You [09:38 p.m.]: Moreover, Tannie is still there, my little wolf and will protect us!😉
Tae💜 [09:38 p.m.]: You took Tannie with you?!
Tae💜 [09:38 p.m.]: I hope he's a good boy and will protect you from evil weirdos!
Tae💜 [09:39 p.m.]: Because your real big bad wolf is waiting very impatiently at home and he's starving to eat his little Red Riding Hood out!🐺
Jungkook
Costume: Harlequin
"Hey Kookie, I just wanted to say goodbye to you! We all will meet up at Katy's House, before we make our way to the party together. You have to leave in 15 minutes, right?", you ask him and lean in the doorway of the living room.
Jungkook is sitting on the couch, playing one of his countless mobile games. He concentrates so much on his game, seeming at first to pretend that nothing and nobody can distract him and just wish you a good night out without even looking at you. But then he looks up and is so shocked by your appearance, that even the phone slide out of his hands and falls into his lap.
"Holy Shit ...", slips from his lips and he swallows hard.
A slight blush settles on your cheeks and you look away nervously, giggling softly. No matter how long you already are in a Relationship with him, his intense gaze embarrasses you again, as so often.
Today is Halloween and you decided to dress up as a Harlequin. And maybe your outfit has become sexier than expected...
You're wearing a black bodysuit with white small bobbles on it, in combination with a pair of long opera gloves and velvet Overknee-Boots. Around the neck you're wearing a Harlequin Collar in a black and white pattern. At the ends of them there are little bells attached and jingle gently with every movement.
Jungkook's eyes wandering over your body, he doesn't even try to hide his hungry gaze. Slowly, he gets up and walks towards you, resting his hands on your hips and gently pushing you against the wall.
"So you want to go out of the house like this?", he whispers softly into your earshell.
You're breathing out shakily, you didn't even realize that you were holding your breath.
"But not until I marked you up as my girl... and maybe also make you come before I let you go.", he growls, nibbling on the soft skin of your collarbone. His fingers start to move, they know exactly where they need to go.
Jungkook reach skillfully between your thighs, open the clasp of your bodysuit and push the bothering fabric upwards. He doesn't let any time pass and slips his hand into your panties.
A trembling moan escapes your lips, still trying to push him half-hearted off of you.
"Kookie ... I ... I can't do it now, I-I have to go, Katy-"
"Katy and the others have to wait. If you want to get out of this house, then just let me finger your tight pussy and mark you as mine, Baby. You can't present yourself in such a hot outfit and then still expect that I could keep myself under control. Give me only five Minutes and you'll come... Then I'll let you go."
My Imagines!
My Masterlist!
#bts smut#bts scenarios#bts scenarios smut#bts imagines#bts imagines smut#bts x reader smut#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#bts x reader reactions#jin x reader#yoongi x reader#namjoon x reader#hoseok x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#jungkook x reader#bts x reader fanfic#bts x reader fanfic smut#bts halloween
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