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andtheyweredeskmates · 5 years ago

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Chapter Eight- Of Latte’s and Lingerie

For those of you who are interested, I posted my concept art for the red piece from the last chapter. If you got back to chapter seven there’s a link. If you don’t feel like going back and looking for it, you can find it here

Here’s the previous seven chapters for those of you who are interested

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

AO3

TAGLIST:

@catsssmeow @toodaloo-kangaroo

When Adrien went to bed he was still texting Marinette. He started to pay a little more attention to the way he worded things. Maybe he was being a little flirty. Adrien sighed as he stared at his phone.

Did he really even know what flirty was? Nino was right, he hadn’t really been interested in anyone since high school, and even then it had been a halfhearted crush. Kagami was one of his only friends aside from Chloe and they’d spent a lot of time together. She was his first kiss. But it wasn’t long after they’d started dating that Adrien realized his feelings for her were no where near as strong as her feelings for him. So, he broke it off. They of course, stayed friends but Adrien could tell he’d hurt his friend. It was never really the same after that.

Adrien supposed that was why he never really tried too hard to get the attention of women. He was always so focused on making friends, he kind of let the idea of romance slip away.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng

So who’s your dad? You keep telling me about how your dad is connected to the fashion world. Maybe I know him?

Coffee Buddy

Um, it’s a surprise. I’ll tell you after the show

The last thing he needed was to ruin a perfectly good friendship by telling her that his dad was her boss.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng

All right fine, keep your secrets. I’m going to bed. I don’t want to be late to work again. Are we still on for coffee tomorrow?

Adrien smiled softly.

Coffee Buddy

Yup! Good night Marinette, see you tomorrow.

…

Marinette really did plan to go to bed. But the racing of her heart and the pride she felt when she thought about how smoothly she was able to talk to the Hot Guy, kept her awake for hours. It was nearly two in the morning when she fell asleep. As Alya would say, she had it bad.

…

Miraculously, Marinette managed to get up on time the next morning. Even more miraculous however was the amazing mood she was in. Today would be a good day. She would go to work (and seeing as she was not in charge of running the upcoming show she would be free to start on yet another project and forget about the horror that would be Fruit of Passion), go to Dunn’s, talk to the Hot Guy, and come home for a self care night, complete with a bubble bath, candles, and a Jagged Stone record. Today was going to be a good day.

…

“Mari, I got your pieces for the show back today, I want you to try on the red piece so we can make sure it fits correctly. I know it’s your size but I want to ensure its flattering you in every way.Every detail matters.”

Marinette really thought it was gonna be a good day.

…

“Mari I’m almost impressed how well it fits you,” Audrey mused. Meanwhile, Marinette was blushing in the corner of the room trying very hard not to succumb to the instinct to cover herself. Audrey moved closer.

“You know these straps almost make it hard to tell how flat chested you are.” Marinette resented that.

“You know, I was under the impression that models were supposed to have perfect bodies. Full chests, toned stomachs, tan skin,” Marinette spat. Audrey rolled her eyes.

“Well luckily for you, we’re attempting to rebrand for the general public. Showing off average body types has become more widely accepted. Besides, that red does wonders for your pale skin. No one is going to be searching for your six pack.” Marinette groaned.

“If you’re really worried about it, you’re welcome to go to the gym,” Audrey said offhandedly. Marinette recoiled. She hated the gym. The sweat, the pain, the yelling, the stupid pictures. She’d much rather sit at home watching trashy television and sipping wine on the couch.

…

TEMPORARILY CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE

“No!!!!” Marinette screeched. She stared at the sign on the front door, mouth open.

“Oh man, I saw the sign that they would be doing renovations soon, I didn’t realize it was today, sorry Marinette.” Marinette turned around to see the Hot Guy standing behind her.

“You mean… they had a sign?” Marinette felt stupid. How hadn’t she noticed. She was only here nearly every day of the week.

“Yeah its been up for about a month now. I hadn’t really paid much attention to it though.” Marinette glanced back at the door.

“But…. Coffee…” Marinette said, defeated. The Hot Guy laughed.

“We could always go somewhere else! I still want to hang out. What about Starbucks?” The Hot Guy sounded a little desperate. Maybe he was desperately in need of coffee too. Marinette sighed.

“Yeah lets go there, hopefully they aren’t crowded.”

…

Starbucks was definitely crowded. Nearly filled to the brim with people.

“It doesn’t look like there’s anywhere to sit,” Hot Guy said, glancing around. Marinette bit her lip.

“Um this might sound lame but we could always take our drinks back to Dunn’s and sit outside? I mean, if you aren’t busy. I know that’s a lot of time to drive back and forth.”

Hot Guy laughed.

“Sounds kind of scandalous, like cheating in your own house. I’m down if you are Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Marinette nearly swooned. The gleam in Hot Guy’s eye when he said it, the low sultry tone. She really had it bad.

“Haha, yeah well I’m gonna order…” she said awkwardly. Hot Guy smiled.

“Just tell me what you want. I’ll grab both of our drinks. Just sit tight.” Marinette gaped at him.

“Oh, uh thank you. Let me hand you some cash…” Hot Guy was shaking his head before she finished.

“Don’t worry about it, consider it thanks for letting me crash your pity party at Dunn’s the other day.”

…

Adrien kinda wanted to kick himself. Crash your pity party? What an asshole thing to say. Luckily Marinette somehow didn’t seem to mind.

“Oh, thank you. Just get me an iced cocoa cloud macchiato.” Adrien smiled at her.

“No problem. I’ll be right back.” He walked over to the coffee line and waited patiently. Thankfully, even though the line had been long, the baristas moved efficiently.

“What can I get for you?” The barista looked dead inside. Circles under her eyes, a flat tone to her voice. Adrien was a little thrown. Starbucks had a very different atmosphere than Dunn’s.

“Oh, uh let me get a large mocha frappe and a large iced cocoa cloud… thing.”

“So a venti mocha frappuccino and a venti iced cocoa cloud macchiato?” Adrien blushed a little. He felt stupid in a place like this.

“Um, sure.”

“What’s the name?”

“Adrien.” The barista wrote quickly on the side of the cup.

“Your total is $10.29,” she grumbled. Adrien fished in his wallet for some cash.

“Here.” The barista counted his money and handed him the change.

“It’ll be out shortly,” she said. Adrien thought breifly that she kind of reminded him of a dead fish.

“Right,” he said quietly. He made his way back to Marinette.

“Well, it should be out in a bit,” he said cheerfully. No need to complain about how much he really did not like this establishment.

She smiled back at him. Adrien stared at her for a moment, as though for the first time. She really was pretty. She was mixed, that much was evident, even if you didn’t know her last name. She had fair skin and beautiful silk black hair. Her thick lashes brushed her cheeks when she smiled and her monolid eyes were a very astounding deep blue. He could see why Nino had such a big crush on her. She was beautiful.

“I’ve got a mocha frappucino and iced cocoa cloud macchiato for Aiden?”

…

Marinette jumped for a moment at the loud call of the barista.

“I guess that’s us,” Hot Guy grumbled, turning back to counter. Marinette immediately felt relief. Aiden. So that was his name. She can’t believe she hadn’t thought about that before. Listening for the call of the coffee. She immediately changed his contact name in her phone. Alya would be proud.

When Aiden came back, she smiled at him.

“So Aiden…” She trailed off. She hadn’t really thought of what to say, she had just wanted to try his name out. She was a little put off by the roll of his eyes.

“Oh whatever, you know that’s not really my name.” Marinette froze and laughed awkwardly.

“Ha, yeah… well I think I’m just gonna have to call you that from now on,” she said mechanically. ‘Aiden’ laughed.

“Oh no, don’t tell me this is a thing now,” he said. Marinette pulled up her phone and showed him his new contact.

“Yeah, it’s too late. That’s your new name,” she said.

“Alright, well I guess that’s just part of making new frineds. They always find cruel and unusual ways of making fun of you. Come on Mari, lets go back to Dunn’s.” Mari followed closely behind him and facepalmed. How the hell did she get stuck in these ridiculous situations?

Thanks for reading! I actually edited for once but if there’s any typos that you notice please let me know, I accept feedback of all kinds! Also I did another concept art for Marinette playing with the idea of her aged up with monolids. It isn’t really how I picture her but it was fun to draw! It’s here if you wanna see

Next Chapter

#my fic #adrienette #adrinette #coffee shop au #mlb fanfic #miraculous ladybug #mlb #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #crack fic #of lattes and lingerie #fanfic

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shookethbrooketh · 5 years ago

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seven days

day four: part two

summary: dan is stuck in the wrong timeline. one day, he kisses phil goodnight. the next morning, he’s completely alone. he doesn’t even recognize where he wakes up, and little details in the world around him have changed. he has no clue what’s happening or where to go next in an effort to fix it; all he knows is that he has to find phil.

genre: sci-fi, a lil bit of angst, happy ending

warnings: just some swearing!

fic word count: 10.4k chapter word count: 1.4k

written for the @phandomreversebang ! inspired by the awesome moodboard/edits by @maybeformepersonally ! beta’d (beginning to end) by @i-might-just-leave-soon !

dan became immediately aware of the flowers still in his hand. he held them up and made sure they were still perfect, putting on a smile. “follow the trope.”

read it on ao3

Before Dan could even think, he was inside the tattoo parlor. “Hello, I bro-”

“Yeah, you got the flowers. You’re too late; buzz off,” Phil said, the harsh tone in his voice catching Dan off guard.

“Are you okay?” he asked, immediately jumping into protective boyfriend mode. He could tell Phil was seriously upset, and it was almost instinctual for him to step in. “What happened?” he added, stepping up to the counter and resisting the urge to reach out and touch Phil.

“Oh, nothing, just my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. So I don’t need your stupid flowers.” He grabbed them from Dan’s hand anyway, but he immediately threw them on the ground and stomped on them.

“Oh…” Dan whispered. “Alright then.” He perked up, showing Phil a cautious smile. “I’m sure he didn’t really forget! He’s probably planning a surprise for you later.”

“Nah, he forgot,” Phil grumbled. “I can always tell with him.” He rolled his eyes and walked around the counter to stand beside Dan. He planted his elbow on the counter and looked up at Dan. “That was a cute thought, though.”

Dan raised an eyebrow at this; he’d known Phil long enough to know when Phil was flirting with him, and Phil was definitely flirting with him. “Um, thanks,” he said. Obviously he missed Phil, but this was the Phil he knew ten years ago; it was simply… odd.

“How old are you?” Phil asked, inching a bit closer to Dan.

“Twenty-eight,” Dan replied, scooting back a bit. He and Phil had a considerable age gap, but four years and six years were a different ballpark, especially when it came to hitting on the man you’re in love with but ten years younger. There was no definitive word to describe it other than uncomfortable.

“That’s not too old,” Phil replied, and Dan didn’t know how to react. On one hand, he was generally creeped out; this clearly wasn’t the Phil he knew. On the other hand, he wanted Phil back so badly he was almost willing to take any Phil he could get. Besides, the trope was drawing him in, and he couldn’t help but feel as if he was supposed to let it.

“D-don’t you have a boyfriend?” Dan stammered out, still wary of the concept of becoming involved with this morally skewed version of Phil.

“Dumped him for bein a twat,” he said, standing up from the counter and matching up to Dan so that they were only a few inches from each other. “What’re you, straight?”

Dan instinctively laughed. “No-”

Before he could even finish his vowel, Phil pressed his lips up against Dan’s, and it felt as if every emotion known to man rushed through his head at once. There was the familiar relief; all logic and reason drained from him and was replaced by the love he felt every time he kissed Phil. It was love he hadn’t felt in days, and even that was far too long. There was also some fear and discomfort. Even though he technically was still kissing Phil, he still felt almost as if he was being unfaithful to the Phil he knew. Plus, this Phil was a different Phil even in his intimacy; when he kissed his Phil, it was deep and full of love. This Phil, being much younger, kissed with lust and revenge. He was sure they weren’t unlike him in their youth, but he’d matured since then, and in the moment it was really a bit gross.

“I can’t do this!” he shouted, and it was as if he could feel everything crumbling around him. He was living in a simulation, a cheesy, fetishizing fanfiction written by some 12-year-old who didn’t know better, and he couldn’t bear to go along with it, even if he was “meant to.” He didn’t give a shit if he was “supposed” to take Phil out to dinner and fall in love; he was already in love, and he wasn’t going to sit through some horrendously predictable plot when he could just as easily explain himself to Phil and hopefully Phil would help him find a way home. This young, angry boy was apparently a scientist, after all.

But at the same time, he felt as if pulling away gave him some sort of a game over screen. He set himself up for the bad ending by doing something good. He could feel the trope crack in half in his very heart; it was like he was nothing more than a character, and he’d just broken the fourth wall. He was Wreck It Ralph, and suddenly, because he stuck up for himself, the game wasn’t quite right anymore.

“What do you bloody mean you can’t?” Phil replied, hostility back in his voice like when they’d first met.

“I love you,” Dan blurted. He couldn’t think of anything else.

Phil stood in silence for a moment before leaning forward a bit and blinking a few times, clearly unable to even process what Dan was telling him. “Alright, now I know you’ve gone mad. Get out.”

“Wait, liste-”

“Out! You’re a bloody crazy man; get out!” At this point, Phil approached him again, but rather than making a move, he simply turned him around and started pushing him towards the door.

“You’re trying to time travel!” Dan shouted out of desperation. Suddenly Phil stopped in his tracks and backed away from Dan.

“Who told you?” he said, taking calculated steps back as if he was scared of Dan.

“I came from the year 2019,” Dan said, and it took all his effort not to laugh because of how ridiculous it sounded; he was speaking like he’d walked straight out of a movie. “I actually am in love with you, or, well, another timeline’s version of you. I keep getting transported to different timelines, and you’re the only one who can help me get back.”

Phil backed himself up to a door at the other side of the room. “I can’t help you do shit. It’s too early in the timelines for me to develop time travel. I’m only beginning to look into it.”

Dan’s eyes widened in terror. “So there’s no one in this timeline who can help me get back to 2019? I’m stuck reliving the last ten years?”

“Not necessarily,” Phil replied cautiously. He still looked scared to his core, although Dan couldn’t quite identify why. “Maybe some Phil’s done it.”

“Don’t you know these things?” Dan asked, beginning to get angry. “I thought you all had some weird sixth sense bullshit.”

“Nope!” Phil said, all too cheery. “So sorry, but I must be going!” he said in a voice far too posh for him before turning the knob and swiftly slipping into the room behind him. Before Dan could even respond, he was gone.

“Phil!” Dan shouted. “Phil, you little shit, what are you hiding from me?” He banged on the door with all his force, but it wouldn’t open. Finally he realized that he was taking his anger out on a piece of wood, and he gave up, sliding to his knees and softly beginning to sob. He was never going to get home.

Dan heard a heavy sigh from the other side of the door and raised his head to see the door creaking open just a bit. “If you can find another Phil from your year, he should be able to get you home,” Phil said. “We don’t have the technology yet, but he will.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to find a 2019 Phil in 2009?” Dan growled. He must have looked absolutely pathetic; his cheeks were coated with tears, and he could barely see Phil. It was a miracle Phil was willing to talk to him.

“If you’re here, the Phils of the future probably are testing on various things, and a version of you was one of them. I don’t doubt that one Phil tried stepping through a portal himself.”

“But how can I find him?”

Phil rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, but not here. Just get out of here and go do your thing.”

Dan clambered to his feet and made his way to the door. He walked slowly and emotionlessly back to the flower shop and into its adjacent flat, where he flopped back down onto the same couch he woke up on. He hadn’t even anything to process; he knew exactly what he had to do. He had to wait - for another day, for another trope, for another Phil.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phic stuff #dong and ping

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contrariancy · 6 years ago

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liner notes for ‘reach’.

So, uh. When I write, whatever I write, I always keep a separate “notes” file with things like general plot points, timelines, stuff I’m debating putting in, cut things, and deleted/rewritten bits. And needless to say, the notes for reach got a little, well, long.

Some of the cut stuff I’m actually repurposing for an upcoming series (tentatively titled ‘iƒ’, based on branching points in ‘reach’), but even when I remove that, it’s a lot. So I figured I’d just dump them here and hopefully someone will find them interesting or what have you.

➤ this fic was how I coped with chapter 295; chapter 1 was written almost in its entirety before 296 came out. I acted cool on tumblr and twitter, but I was absolutely sweating bullets and fully prepared to write bizarre fix-it fic because I wanted it. After 296, I lost some steam, but I had a couple friends tell me they really liked the first chapter and thought it was a good concept. I’ve done enough "lost scene" fics that I wanted to try a new challenge and see if I could create an engaging AU fanfic.

Here is exactly what spawned this:

➤ there were a few rules I created for myself before I got started. The first one was that I couldn’t post anything until the fic was mostly done and once I started posting, that was a commitment to finish it. The second was minimal to no OCs — I had to bend this later with Bathin, but I compromised by making his power fear-based and having him take other forms.

The third rule was that any character introduced had to have some sort of role to play; they couldn’t be there just to "be there" and exist to boost up other characters. Zeal was the only character in it out of necessity, as Guila would have been written entirely differently if she didn’t have her brother with her. Even then, I tried to give him something that wasn’t "[X] in distress." I think the character that came closest to being that was Hendrickson, honestly.

➤ originally, Hendrickson was going to have a phone that he talked to and would have run into Dreyfus while exploring the city. I opted against this because I didn’t want to write any OCs in this and a phone counts. Also, it would be ten times more interesting to have him bounce off of Dreyfus instead of some phone that the reader does not care about. It was also important to me that Dreyfus get introduced as soon as possible, especially in a fic like this where the reader is being asked to accept something different from the top.

➤ Jericho and Howzer were not in the initial draft notes. Then I came up with the pair concept early on (after realizing there was a pattern with Guila-Zeal and Hendrickson-Dreyfus and I could play with that for the eventual Merlin reveal). Fraudrin was an actual character briefly before I decided that Fraudrin as a villain was kind of a tired thing; if I was going to write for him at this point, I would want to explore more of the shades of gray with his character, and this fic would not give me the time or leeway for that. So Howzer became Gil’s paired partner instead, also because I just wanted to write Howzer. Jericho offered the most opportunity for writing things, and I wanted to play her off of Hendrickson and Dreyfus.

➤ Merlin was always going to be the deus ex machina. Merlin was always a factor and always the only Sin I was going to put in. The only thing that changed is she went from sweeping in and completely taking out Bathin and Fixing Everything Ever to coming in for the assist at the end with her OP skills.

➤ Helbram is only in it because he was the first dead character I thought of as a potential partner for Zaratras. I wrote the first half of interlude 1 before anything else and I loved the odd couple pairing, so he stayed and became kind of essential. He’s also very fun to write for and I thought he would be an interesting contrast to the others.

➤ Bathin was going to originally be a straight up Fraudrin clone and just the entity Bathin using Fraudrin’s guise as a persona or whatever. Again, I decided Fraudrin as a villain was a tired thing at this point and having the villain just be Fraudrin again was a bit of a cop out, even if I really didn’t want to write any type of OC. Bathin is like Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist, later complete with Velvet Crowe from Berseria’s arm (which is. also Meliodas and Derieri and I went "oops oh well"). I liked the mental image of Margaret beating everyone up too, so that’s why that happened. It’s also because they’re the two figures in Hendrickson’s life that get possessed and Bathin poses as both of them.

Bathin was meant to be cruel but fun, like an animal that plays with its food. His downfall is his hubris! He thinks he’s on top — and it’s his world, why wouldn’t he think that? — so he doesn’t see anyone as a real threat. The unknown terrifies him though, and that’s why he was tearing his hair out over the 'interloper.'

➤ ftr, Bathin is one of the many demons referenced in the Lesser Key of Solomon. I’d originally considered something else and even looked into a lot of Arthurian lore, but since Nakaba mines those for canon and I didn’t want to risk any overlap, I swerved in a different direction all together.

➤ epilogue 1.0 is hot garbage, I started writing this before 296 came out and it was built on assumptions that thankfully turned out not to be true. I trashed it quickly and I like 2.0 much, much better. It’s embarrassingly bad though and this is why you edit, okay. Also, it focused solely on Hendrickson and Dreyfus when the fic did become an ensemble piece and therefore, the other characters deserved to get closure. Some of the sentence structure and imagery got cannibalized for the very last part of the new epilogue, though.

➤ most of the chapter titles stayed the same from the beginning; only chapter 5’s changed. It was originally "in which a good boy questions a demon’s fashion choices" which was a reference to Howzer switching sides and Bathin-as-Fraudrin stuff. Bathin shifted to chapter 6 entirely though, so it became less relevant. The placeholder title was 'in which lightning strikes twice’’ which is a reference to Gilthunder and Zaratras, but since Zaratras doesn’t actually fight in that one, it didn’t make sense.

Everything from here on is from my notes in my project file; the only things I’ve done are rearranged the order for clarity and expanded on shorthand, though there are a couple of italicized notes in parenthesis that I added in later. Some of it is pretty disjointed tbqh! I have a bad habit of not writing in order.

Like I said before, I do a notes file for pretty much anything I write, as it’s where I dump ideas so I don’t forget or move cut text to in case I decide I like the older version better later on (it’s happened). This one just got ridiculously large, so hopefully someone besides me gets a kick out of it.

General notes

Hendrickson wakes up in an apartment, everything is taken care of, wtf

maybe Zaratras has been there for a bit and they're like ARE WE DEAD?? and he's just all HA HA you better not be.

Zaratras is the guy who has just been there!! Forever!! He runs a bar.

Gil is from just before the Kingdom Infiltration arc, so he is just sad and tired all the time.

Howzer is from early and a good boy but also devoted to Dreyfraudrin so it’s like. ??? When he sees those two. He will bond with Hendrickson and this time it will be Hendy’s turn to be like hey. Come. It’s fine.

The ultimate goal with Gil and Howzer is basically attempting to make people whisper "who hurt you."

Merlin shows up in the end like hmm you were all pulled into a pocket dimension but don’t worry, you should be expelled right back into the timeline where you left. No big deal. Bye.

Helbram and Hendrickson kind of. They’re not OKAY but they realize they are both shitty people who were in an impossible situation. Helbram is the petty type, so he’s not really going to forgive him, but Hendrickson doesn’t need his forgiveness either. The two of them work together though because it’s the only way out

Helbram just dunks on Hendrickson constantly because of course he does

Guila is from the same period as Hendrickson and Dreyfus, but she has been there for months by the time they arrive. Zeal is there too because otherwise she’d destroy everyone and everything.

They come in pairs, from similar points in time?

Guila and Zeal are just before the holy war, around chapter 252. Team smartass gen z

Hendrickson and Dreyfus are post 266 / 285 or whatever. Team old man

Zaratras and Helbram are team post death. Team DEAD

Gil and super early bro Howzer who work for Dreyfraudrin. Team dumb boys

Jericho and Merlin. Merlin just lurks for ages, there should be hints about her from chapter 2 on then she’s like lol hi. Post 197 for Jericho, Merlin plays coy because who cares. After 197, Merlin senses Bathin and is like gimme. Team Jericho Broke Nothing

Bathin notes

It’s powered by a crystal that preys on their fears?? Hence Dreyfraudrin existing. Zaratras kind of knows what’s up because he can sense it, since the energy sort of started when he got there, the dude gained a form when Gil showed up, then power when Guila arrived and later Jericho, and now Hendy and Dreyfus sort of complete the collection. It’s their fears all manifested. Merlin has no impact on it though and actually weakened it because ha ha ha you think she has fears, that’s cute. (this shifted to Bathin’s true form being a crystal — I was trying to stick to my "no OC" rule.)

Beleth or Bathin, a fragment of the sangréal? <— too complicated, stick with Ars Goetia lore interpreted for nnt-land. (I think my plan here was some ancient artifact?? Like the sacred treasures. It got really complicated really fast which is no good.) Belialuin Bathinal

Bathin is a demon, its true form is the crystal, it feeds on fears and created the pocket dimension to try and regain a more viable physical form, the weakened state is why its legions are so weak.

But also Bathin feeds on fears and craves Hendrickson and the others’ fears of Fraudrin and everything, and when Bathin finally gets Hendy and is like aren’t you afraid?? He’s just. Yes. I am absolutely terrified. But because Dreyfus took the time to punch him in the heart repeatedly he’s not going to roll over, he has to keep going. Helbram also yells at him like HOW DARE YOU. YOU CAN’T. (This shifted to Jericho in chapter 5 so it could become a more solid arc in the end with the confrontation in 6. Helbram got his moment with Hendrickson and Guila instead and, later, his goodbye.)

Bathin appears like Dreyfraudrin and Margaret, so when they strike Fraudrin down and are like ok?? We good?? Margaret turns and cuts them?? You have until chapter 6 to decide. (it’s pretty obvious what I decided.)

Outline

Hendrickson is the perspective character. Only the interlude, which is Dreyfus-centric, isn’t. (The other two interludes were added as I was writing later on.)

Chapter 1: Hendrickson and Dreyfus and general scene setting. Chapter 2: They actually go around town, Guila and Jericho are super introduced, we get glimpses of Gil and Howzer and they kind of talk to the latter. Kind of. Chapter 3: They get to the bar where there’s a bartender that dresses like a mysterious knight, spooky scary etc etc. It’s Zaratras. Helbram is there, too. More on Gil, Howzer should be questioning. Hendrickson leaves Dreyfus at the bar, runs into Howzer on the way out. Interlude 1: Dreyfus figures out Hendrickson’s plan re: Ludociel. Interlude 2: Jericho and Guila on Helbram. Interlude 3: Howzer and Gilthunder. Chapter 4: The confrontation between Dreyfus and Hendrickson. Howzer crashes their place because of course he does. Chapter 5: The Dreyfraudrin chapter. Vs Gilthunder. Zeal will guide them; alluded to in chapter 3. Chapter 6: The source, Bathin, is revealed, Merlin shows herself. Epilogue: The end. "I’m going to make you see how wrong you are." —> this promise HAS to be fulfilled.

TIMELINE:

Five+ months — Zaratras and Helbram

Five months — Gilthunder and Howzer

Three months — Guila and Zeal

A week — Jericho and Merlin

~Days — Hendrickson and Dreyfus

Setting

Eighteenth Plaza — Bathin is the 18th Goetia. Based on Shibuya 109 on the outside.

Pub’s name — Wandering Knight, Silver Helm

Possible Combos - Shot Purge (Guila-Hendrickson) —> Holy Shot?

Flats are like a venus fly trap, lulling them into a false sense of security and complacency so Bathin can keep feeding off their fear?? Maybe it was and then Merlin showed up like lol hi. (I dumped this because it overcomplicated things a lot; it just became very subtly and only partially implied in chapter 5 but ultimately not very important.)

Cut lines

Chapter Two: What the four of them manage to put together quickly — really, Guila and Hendrickson exchanging theories and ideas while Jericho and Dreyfus watch from across the booth in silent wonder, occasionally exchanging glances as if to say what is wrong with these two — is this: (I wish I could have kept the Jericho and Dreyfus bit, but it didn’t work. This was when they were in the booth, exchanging information.)

“Now hold on a minute, Gilthunder!” Dreyfus turns back to face him, squaring his shoulders. “This— this isn’t what you think! If it’s about M—”

It’s Hendrickson’s turn to yank Dreyfus back, hissing in his ear. “Don’t.” (I didn’t want to complicate it with Margaret. This was before I’d decided to have Bathin use Margaret as a guise as well, but I’d still cut it even if I knew.)

Chapter Five: “You should be.” Hendrickson counters, resting his hands on the back of the couch, leaning forward to look down at Helbram. “Because he brought you and Zaratras here before anyone else. It’s likely that he preys on the souls of the dead.” He pauses at that, glancing over at Guila who nods in agreement, before shifting his attention back to the fairy. “Even if we ‘get out,’ you can’t just live here. Bathin will continue to eat away at your very spirit.” (there are several logical flaws in this that got cleaned up in the final version, which reads very similarly.)

“That should be plenty of time.” Guila pats at Zeal’s shoulder lightly. “Some of us won’t even need that much time, certainly.” (The scene was dragging on for too long and this was ultimately unnecessary. I tend to be really wordy and not know when to stop a scene, so I cut a lot for the sake of flow later on or rework things.)

“Especially since this isn’t Dreyfus’s field of expertise.” (This was cut from the conversation Hendrickson had with Zaratras -- about strategy -- because frankly, it isn’t true and even if it was, Hendrickson wouldn’t say something like that. I cut a lot of stuff like this where it works for the plot but doesn’t track with the character. editing good!!)

The screech of tires can be heard in the distance.

“Ah, I believe they’ve managed to find a vehicle!” (god I really wanted to put Zaratras commenting on grand theft auto in this, even if it made no narrative sense.)

Chapter Six: “Huh?” Jericho gives her a confused look before looking back over her shoulder, where Bathin and Gilthunder were battling it out hand-to-sword. “Yeah, I just— this place is starting to fall apart.”

“Yes, it is, which is why we need to be careful. If you could provide a distraction—”

“Oh!” She snaps her fingers in response. “Yeah, okay, I can do that!” (Jericho was a bit too passive here and it was difficult to transition to the next beat. I reworked it in the final version.)

“Be careful. He’s using his weight as a weapon.” (This was somewhere in phase two of the Bathin fight. I was trying to set the character apart from other demons that they’ve fought, but this was too expository. Hopefully, the sentiment got across in description and whatnot and if not, uh. Oops.)

As he pulls away, flying off towards solid ground, the ice begins to audibly crack. Hendrickson stares up at it, almost resigned in a way. “So this is it,” he murmurs to himself, watching the cracks spider-web their way along the platform (I removed this and tweaked the final paragraph because it didn’t quite line up with Hendrickson’s character in this, especially given the turning point that comes only a paragraph or two later. That one line doesn’t line up with the rest of his arc in the entire fic; I was trying to make it obvious that the ice was cracking and wasn’t going to hold, but uh. This was not the way to do it.)

As an amicable silence falls between them — a far cry from the silence that lingered the last time he took this elevator up — (The transition in the elevator was hard.)

Gilthunder clenches a fist. “That’s exactly why I can’t forget. If I—” He swallows hard. (A lot of stuff gets cut because I start typing and can’t figure out where to go with it. It just didn’t work in the sequence and was too emotional for Gilthunder’s canon point.)

“By the way, have you seen Helbram?” (Zaratras was going to ask about Helbram as well, but that would have dragged the pacing down. Besides, I’d like to think that after their time together, Zaratras ‘gets’ Helbram on some level and knows he’d want to head out on his own terms.)

The orange hue fades into the black of the night, growing brighter and brighter with every passing moment, much like the world around them. And then, it reaches a point where it becomes blindingly bright, like a warmth washing over all of them at once. And then—

And then— (Did you know that this was basically the same format I used to end the pentultimate section of another fic because I sure didn’t until I just so happened to reread it before posting this one. god. damnit.)

Epilogue:

“I’m getting better, right?”

Jericho looks over her shoulder at Hendrickson, then gestures at a small patch of ice in front of her. The druid glances between her and the patch, looking mildly uncertain. “It’s progress,” he admits after a moment.

“You should have seen it the other day, though!” She stomps her foot. “Sir Dreyfus told me I had a lot of potential. (This was originally how Jericho’s epilogue was going to start. It didn’t seem right for her though, especially given the ‘reset’ tone, so I cut it and started from scratch. This would potentially work if it was Dreyfus, but not Hendrickson.)

Detailed chapter breakdowns

Chapter 3: Helbram is disguised, Zaratras is in his armor, it’s a pub and they’re INCOGNITO ok. Helbram spills a drink on Hendrickson like an asshole before the reveal. They figure out that the bartender and server aren’t on the same “script” as the NPCs.

CHAPTER 4 ends with them meeting up with Guila and Jericho, Guila is like this is Bathin, the Eighteenth Duke of the Demon Realm.

CHAPTER 5 is the big planning chapter + infiltrating and fighting Gilthunder. At the end, Bathin’s legions converge on Eighteenth Plaza and Dreyfus stays behind to stop them. Zaratras helps, brothers!! They can have a sad scene with Hendy.

CHAPTER 6 will have a big fight scene in it, this needs to be carefully blocked and mapped out. (narrator voice: it was not carefully blocked and mapped out.)

THE PLAYERS

Bathin — via Dreyfraudrin and Margaret. A lot of darkness, demon powers, fear manipulation. Teleportation? Dreyfraudrin has strength, Margaret has Velvet Crowe-esque hand bs? Dark tendrils, like a cat’s tail.

Hendrickson — Purge, Acid. Purge can weaken Bathin’s power. Dreyfus — Break, Full Size. Full Size might be too much for the building. Dreyfus and Zaratras could hold off Bathin’s legions? Guila — Explosion. Combo with Hendrickson at one point. Jericho — Ice Fang. Someone can get thrown out the elevator at some point and Jericho uses ice to extend a platform and keep them from falling. Eventually uses ice to root Bathin in place so she can PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!!! Howzer — Tempest. Gilthunder — Thunderbolt. Short circuits the electronics? Helbram — plays his part disguised as Gil to get everyone in, fucks off partway through. Returns to yell at idiots. (This plan was too complicated; what I settled on works better character-wise and narratively speaking.) Zaratras — Great Thunder. Works with Dreyfus to hold off Bathin’s THIRTY DEMON LEGIONS so the others can take him.

Merlin — Infinity. She needs Bathin to be weakened and have his guard down to strike, which is why she slinks in the background and waits. Probably steps in after they’ve done that but Bathin is like YOU FOOLS!! Etc etc. Uses infinity to keep the Holy Shot effect goin’ (see above notes about Merlin)

THE SETTING

Top floor of Eighteenth Plaza. There’s the massive office, the long hallway, and the elevator. This is the main area for Bathin.

In the lobby, Zaratras and Dreyfus will take on Bathin’s legions of demons after freeing Gilthunder from his influence.

Guila and Hendrickson get thrown out the glass elevator window, Jericho creates an ice shelf that they cling to, Howzer and Gil work on keeping Bathin busy while Helbram flies out and grabs Guila at Hendrickson’s urging. Hendrickson falls.

Small brief flashback to super young Hendy and Jenna? A call back to being shown how wrong he is. Jenna’s just like LOOK YOU’LL BE FINE, YOU NEVER LIKED IT HERE ANYWAY!! Gosh you’re such a dour kid sometimes, geez, but don’t worry, someone’ll show you how wrong you are someday.

Full Size Dreyfus catches him because gratuitous yes.

Bathin is unfair but so is Merlin.

. . . and that’s it! Hopefully that was interesting to someone and if not, uh. I’m very sorry. Thank you for reading! 🙏

#nnt #fic #liner notes

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onmywaytobe · 6 years ago

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1-50 do it if you dare

ohoho challenge accepted

(also i love you omg how did you know i love to talk about myself)

(most of them under the cut bc I don’t want everyone to hate me lol)

1.What made you start writing?

My teachers always said I was good at it and tbh I’ve always made up stories with like dolls or stuffed animals or whatever

2. How old were you when you started writing?

I was 12 when I started my first novel (and that’s still the only novel I’ve ever finished, how about that)

3. What was the first story you ever wrote about?

That first novel is what I’ll count, it was basically self-insert Merlin fanfiction before I knew what fanfiction was, and I changed all the names so nobody would be any the wiser

4. What’s your favorite genre?

I’m really into modern fantasy at the moment, like anything mystical set in modern day I love

5. What’s your least favorite genre?

I can’t do hard sci-fi, I wish I could but it’s too much for me

6. What’s your biggest strength as a writer?

Probably dialogue? I write a lot of scripts where dialogue is the only thing that really matters so I work on that the most

7. What’s your biggest weakness as a writer?

SETTING DESCRIPTIONS nobody knows what anything looks like anywhere and I’m so sorry

8. What writing projects are you currently working on?

I’m waiting for NaNo to start so I can get working on They Met in a Cafe, which is about an art thief who falls in love with the journalist who’s been writing about him

9. Who’s your favorite author?

I think I have to say Tolkien, he was just so iconic

10. Who’s your least favorite author?

Cassandra Clare.

11. What’s your favorite book?

The Professionals by Owen Laukkanen (it’s so good)

12. What’s your least favorite book?

This book called Best Served Cold by Joe Abercrombie, it took me so long to read and it wanted to be Game of Thrones so badly but it just wasn’t

13. What’s your favorite trope?

MUTUAL PINING (gets me every time)

14. What’s your least favorite trope?

Enemies to lovers (unless done really well) doesn’t always sit well with me, but I know that’s a popular one on here

15. Have you ever gotten anything published?

I don’t think so lol writing is very much just a hobby for me

16. Do you prefer to type or write by hand?

Type, I can write much faster and closer to the speed of my thoughts lol

17. What’s your favorite literary magazine?

I uh…don’t have one

18. Are there any topics you don’t feel comfortable writing about?

Yeahhh nothing too graphic (in terms of torture, sex, death, etc.) I keep it fairly PG-13 except for swearing haha

19. Where do you get your inspiration from?

Literally everywhere, I’ve never had an original thought in my life

20. Do you prefer to write fiction or poetry?

Fiction, I am so bad at writing poetry

21. How long is the stuff you usually write?

Usually I give up around 15-20k into a story, which is unfortunate

22. How do you deal with writer’s block?

I either take a break from writing as long as I can, or I outline the scene as best as I can until I start getting ideas for how to write the actual scene

23. Have you ever taken any creative writing classes?

None specifically dedicated to creative writing, just the general high school ones

24. Which of your characters has the most in common with you?

Of my current characters, definitely Cam from Descendants of the Earth, he is so soft and loves his friends so much and that’s just me af

25. Who is your favorite character you’ve written about?

I loved my character Colin from my first novel, Stay True, writing him just made me really happy (I think because at the time I was obsessed with Merlin, and he was the Merlin in my story lol)

26. Who is your favorite fictional character in general?

I would die for Samwise Gamgee but he would never let me

27. What time of day do you usually write?

I’m trying to get in the habit of writing in the morning on the bus, but it’s usually in the evening when I should be doing homework

28. How much planning and/or research do you do before you start writing?

Usually none at all, I just make stuff up, but for Cafe I’m actually doing a lot of research bc art history is fascinating and I want to represent cystic fibrosis accurately

29. What writing related accomplishment are you the most proud of?

I think the fact that I actually won NaNo last year while also being a college student

30. Have you ever dreamt about your characters?

No but I wish I could omg

31. What is your ideal writing environment?

In my bed, under a blanket, computer on my lap, nobody else in the house bothering me haha

32. Which published book do you wish you had written?

The Forbidden Game (by L.J. Smith), that book influenced my writing style so much and I love it a lot

33. Which themes do you like to write about the most?

I think I do a lot of found family/ragtag group of friends stuff, and happy endings for everyone who deserves one

34. What is the best advice you have for a beginning writer?

Literally just write. And it will suck and you won’t like to read it. But it’s so much fun if you just do what you love and enjoy it while it’s happening.

35. What is the worst writing advice you’ve ever heard?

Idk I try to avoid most writing advice, probably just anything that says “never” write something in particular because like….that’s ridiculous

36. Do you prefer pens or pencils?

Pens! I worry about pencil smearing.

37. What traits do your protagonists usually have?

They’re usually stale cinnamon rolls, like they used to be so happy and pure and now they’re cynical and tired. And everyone is so sarcastic, because thats how I am

38. What is your ultimate writing goal?

I would love to be traditionally published someday, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon if ever

39. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever written about?

The weirdest thing I actually tried to turn into a full novel was this series about a group of girls who each had different supernatural things happen to them (one was selected to be a fairy princess, one had the power to manipulate fate, one was the daughter of Hades, and one could go back in time)

That actually sounds really cool summed up like that but…it was middle school, it was not good

40. What is the most random fact you’ve ever learned while doing research for a story?

I just recently learned that having cystic fibrosis makes your skin taste salty, so that’s a thing

41. What would you do if you were suddenly teleported into your WIP?

Hug the heck outta Leo (he needs all the hugs) and also try to join the heist crew lol

42. How many drafts do you usually go through before you finish a piece?

One and a half, I’ve never edited a damn thing in my life lol but I do usually do a read-through after it’s finished and fix some things that I don’t like before calling it good

43. Has your writing ever made you cry?

Not as such, but I’ve made myself really sad while writing Voice of Treason (which is a feature film, not a novel)

44. Would you rather have your WIP adapted into a movie or TV show?

Lol well since Cafe is based on a book within a movie I produced, I have to say that I’d want it made into a movie

It would also make a good movie tbh

45. Where do you share your writing?

Only on here, and I post finished (or close to finished) things on Wattpad

46. What’s your favorite line of your current WIP?

Well I’ve only got the one small section so far, but I really like this line.

She laughed softly, her warm, coffee-stained breath fanning across his face.

47. What’s the first sentence of your WIP?

Currently it’s “Leo nervously slid into the coffee shop, glancing behind him” but that’s subject to change once NaNo starts

48. What’s the last sentence you wrote?

It was actually for DotE, and it was “Logan watched and laughed, grateful to be invited into the fun despite declining the offer.”

49. What inspired you to write your WIP?

This is actually my favorite question. So I worked on this movie two years ago with these dumb guys, and within the movie there was the character of this writer girl, and she was writing a book called “They Met in a Cafe” and throughout the movie you see her acting out these scenes from the book with her imagination, which takes the form of this cute guy (it was not a good movie lol)

Anyway I decided to take those scenes and basically write the book that she was trying to write in the film, but I’m gonna make it make sense and it’s gonna be so good (hopefully)

50. What’s your favorite thing about your WIP?

I love the whole concept of it, it really just appeals to my silly romantic sensibilities as well as my fascination with art and history in general, I just think it’s really fun

THANK YOU FOR ALL THESE QUESTIONS!! I literally love talking about myself so much and I was in such a bad mood bc my roommate has people over but this made me feel so much better so thank you

#asks #answered #about me #cafe #treason #dote #cam #leo #long post #logan

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kuriquinn · 7 years ago

Text

Recovery & Patreon & Other Stuff

Hey everyone!

So, I’ve been having a good day today (much better than yesterday!) and thought I’d catch up with you guys.

I’m still dealing with the anxiety stuff. When I get into potentially stressful situations I still burst into tears and get shaky and a lump in my stomach, but I don’t get too bad left to my own devices anymore. I’m going to start going back to live on my own as opposed to bunking with family soon, which is nice. I’ve always been very independent and I loved living on my own, so getting back to that will be nice.

Anything work-related still triggers me, so I’ve had to completely disassociate from that (no work alerts, no answering emails, no lesson planning). That’s been hard, because I’m so used to doing something constructive that not doing it stresses me out. While I hate being stressed, I like to be buysy. More on that below.

I’m productive and almost functional between 10am and 12pm, and if it’s a really good day I get to 1:30. After that there’s no point to even trying because I just get a brain full of fuzz and can’t think through it.

Therapy has been helping A LOT, but I don’t know how long I can keep going to this therapist as it’s rather expensive. Again, big thanks to all of you who have been using my ko-fi jar this past year, you’re the reason I could pay for yesterday’s session.

Slowly, I’m working through all of this, and I couldn’t do it without you guys. Special shout out to those of you who have been checking in with my almost daily. If I didn’t have you, I don’t know how I’d be coping, to be honest...

I love you guys!

PATREON

I have been considering launching a patreon page for months now, and there’s never been the time to really work on it. And since everything in my life started to get really complicated, so many of you have reached out wanting to know how you can help support me so I can get back on my feet, back to my best self and back to writing stories!

Since I’ve been put off work for a few weeks to recover, I thought an interesting creative project for myself would be to start setting up my patreon in earnest (and my therapist says I need a non-workplace related, non-stressful activity that I can work on at my own pace).

After much thought, I decided not to offer fanfiction on patreon, because I’m really uncertain and uncomfortable with the legalities of it all. And added stress and anxiety is probably not a good idea right now. I may set up a different page later offering my own original fiction and short stories for a small fee, but I’m not yet at that point. That’s an entirely different project, but I’ll keep you in the know about it (especially those of you who said you wanted to read my original work!)

My patreon page that I’m constructing now will be dedicated to offering writing tips & tricks, video tutorials, writing prompts, personalised critiques and editing of patron creative writing content (this could be something as simple as cursory proof-reading to in-depth content editing, depending on the reward tier chosen). Original creative content and transformative works will be welcome, but I will not be looking at academic writing because honestly, I’m sick of correcting academic work.

I’m hoping this will give me the ability to build my resume to transition from the field of education into something more writing/editing/journalistic based. Or, possibly even start my own proofreading/editing/content creation service.

At the moment, I don’t have any major rewards up as I’m in the process of creating them - at my own pace and when I have the energy to do so. But for anyone who would like to start supporting me now while I get things up and running, I have enabled the general support incentive of $1 per month on the site. And I’m trying to come up with better goals, but as mentioned, this whole thing is a work in progress. ^_^

ORIGINAL FICTION

A little while back I mentioned waking up utterly inspired for an original story/novel and I’ve mostly been working on that when I’m in the writing mood and not feeling too stressed.

As mentioned, it’s a romance/mystery/comedy novel, kind of in the style of Naruto Gaiden, Tanya Huff’s Vicki Nelson series (go read it now if you haven’t!) and Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum mysteries, but in my own style. I’m basing the main characters heavily on our favourite SSS family, so hopefully that’s of interest to you guys.

I’m currently in research mode for it, which is always a really cathartic part of the writing process for me. It involves a lot of reading of books/novels that I draw inspiration from and fact-checking (I know, I’m weird, but looking up/researching information is calming to me. I don’t know why...)

I’ve also been fleshing out the characters. Some of them even have names already *gasp*. Once I’m more sure of them, I’m going to exercise my creative muscles and try to create some concept art of the characters. I may make these available for you guys to look at here or on a different platform. Again, this will probably be for a small fee as it is original content.

We’ll see how all of this goes. It’s longterm goals right now, nothing concrete, but I feel like you guys have been so involved with me for so long you should know my plans.

FANFICTION

I work a little on my stories every day according to my energy and inspiration.

I’m currently editing Samsara as it’s been a while since I looked at it and it could use some improvement. Also, I’m thinking of using it as a means of showcasing my editing/proofreading skills, so it’s both a labour of love and serves a greater purpose.

Mostly I’ve been jotting down a few paragraphs here and there on some upcoming Indra/Shachi companion pieces and working on outlining my Tales of the Uchiha stories. Occasionally I’ll take a look at Never Tell Me The Odds and try to get back to it, as I know there’s a lot of interest in me finishing it, as well as You Are Cordially Invited.

I hope I can come back to fanfiction soon, but of course, I’m not going to rush anything unless I’m feeling particularly inspired.

Anyhow, I just wanted to catch up with you guys and let you know what’s going on in my life right now. And I’m getting kind of tired now so I’m going to sign off for today.

I’ll check in with you guys again soon.

Lots of love!

Kriss

#checking in #status update #real life stuff #writing stuff #kuriquinn #misskrisscritiques #patreon update #creative writing news #mental health and support #recovery #working on original content #plans #goals #trying to get better #trying to get back into it #thanks for your support

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resbang-bookclub · 7 years ago

Text

AMA Transcript: Leap Year

Next up, @blinkfl0yd, @ahshesgone and @innocentcinnamonbun stopped in to answer questions about their Resbang, Leap Year! Here’s some of what went down!

*Please be advised that this AMA contains one (1) small spoiler for the unpublished part 2 of Leap Year :)*

Q: My first question is for Inno and Ash! How did you choose which scenes you wanted to draw! :)

Inno: Ahh I usually like to draw scenes that have a big emotional impact or are just really funny (Which a lot of scenes in Blink’s story made me laugh out loud pretty hard) I also like to make book cover-like pieces for Bangs I do.

ahshesgone: Ohhhhh I was so in love with that first scene with Spirit and Maka, I HAD to do it, because it set the tone so perfectly for both of them. Then it was mentioned that Blair babysat Maka and I Had To also, bc that right there was a dream I had and I realised it when I read it, and Stein and Marie were just impossible to pass up. Blink writes so vividly, I would draw forever if I had the time.

Q: What was the inspiration behind this story? I always love stories about the adults and we get them so rarely!

BlinkFl0yd: Honestly I just really like the adults haha, I just thought they needed some love. I'd been playing around with a college AU for the adults probably since before Resbang was announced, but I think the biggest thing that kind of inspired where it was going to go was probably learning about anesthesia awareness?? Which is pretty much exactly how it sounds and is actually really terrifying and made me think of Spirit and Stein which is pretty much what kickstarted that whole plotline. So that was sort of the basis for the whole fic. After that it was just... coming up with different shenanigans. The horse head was totally a spur of the moment thing.

Q: This one is for everyone: did you guys have fun working together? Was there a lot of communication? :D

ahshesgone: I really liked working with both Blink and Inno!! They're the awesomest. I guess we could do with more similar timezones though, tbh.

BlinkFl0yd: Oh gosh seconded. ash and Inno are so cool and so talented and it was so much fun working them them.

Inno: I had such a blast working with ash and Blink ;;;u;; <333

Q: Was there anything that you wanted to add but couldn't? Or anything that originally wasn't going to be there that ended up going in?

BlinkFl0yd: So the thing is, as a result of splitting it up for Resbang, I now get to sort of rework some concepts that I had to originally cut out because of the time crunch. I think the biggest thing is that I originally had a whole plotline planned out for Medusa and White Star that I had to cut out or rework for sake of time, but now I get to add it back in and I'm really excited.

Q: bb Maka is SO CUTE AND I LOVE HER, how did you go about characterizing her?

BlinkFl0yd: Oh gosh yes, baby Maka was fun but difficult. I have no idea how children work so…

Q: Yeah like, you didn’t make her too babyish which is a problem I see a lot when people write kids.

BlinkFl0yd: I am honestly not very good with kids, but yeah, it does irritate me when people write kids super babyish, I deadass once read a fic where a ten year old was still making baby sounds and even I know that that is Not Right. I think that's the one thing that helped me with baby Maka and the rest of the kids.

Q: Favorite character to write and favorite scene to write?

BlinkFl0yd: It was a lot of fun to get into Stein's head, and I also had a lot of fun writing Blair's appearances. I also enjoyed Sid a lot more than I thought I would, and Nygus.

Inno: You wrote Stein so well, it made me cry tears of joy.

ahshesgone: Omg I loved them both so so so so much. [And] OH MY GOD Azusa.

[there is much joyful screaming about Azusa]

Q: Artist chans, what was your arting process like once you decided what you wanted to art? I think you both did digital, but I bet there are a lot of differences in how you work!

ahshesgone: Hmmm well my process for these ones was pretty all over the place. They were all started around the same time but I finished all of them at different times so I think all of them came [out] looking pretty… dissimilar? I wish I had made the Blair one look less digital because I think that's what I needed for my art for Leap Year, for it to look??? tactile?

BlinkFl0yd: I honestly cried a little when I saw the first draft of the Spirit and Maka picture.

Inno: Ahh I lay out a gesture sketch, then a normal sketch, then I lineart the sketch, fill the whole canvas with a color that pertains to the mood of the piece and use a low opacity brush to lay in colors then just start blending colors from there to form lighting and shade. After that I sometimes air brush some more color into the piece. :,) Other pieces I just color in the lineart and add basic cell shading :,,) I hope I answered right :,)))

BlinkFl0yd: BOTH OF YOUR ARTS MADE ME CRY A LITTLE.

Inno: Couldn’t have made it without such an outstanding source material blink ;;u;;;;

Q: For all of you, do you think Resbang helped you hone any skills/get better at something, maybe something you decided on trying to work on or something you surprised yourself with?

BlinkFl0yd: Honestly, yeah. I've never never actually worked with other people before for a fic, I've never even had a beta before until Resbang? So that was new.

ahshesgone: Oh, I used a really weird way to sketch the steinmarie thing which I was very impressed with myself for. I think I crosshatched the silhouettes and then just erased where I needed lighter areas?

Inno: I've been trying to get better with perspective and comics as well as drawing backgrounds and resbang definitely helped out getting my butt into gear to practice drawing those things. I did pretty well too on it.

Q: Do you feel like your writing has changed or improved at all during the course of writing this? I'm just curious if you felt that your techniques or style had changed at all.

BlinkFl0yd: I'm not really sure if it's changed much? I think if anything I’ve gotten better at working under a time crunch. I'm kinda a perfectionist, which does not go very well with Resbang, so I guess if anything I've gotten better at just word-vomiting first and editing later.

Q: Were there any particularly difficult scenes or roadblocks you needed to work through?

BlinkFl0yd: Hmmm. I think some of the trickiest scenes to write were the ones with Shinigami and Kami. We know so little about [Kami] so she was probably the hardest one to write. I was coming up with a full-on backstory and personality for her as I was writing, so that was both kinda fun but kinda difficult. And Shinigami is… Shinigami.

ahshesgone: OH BUT THEY WERE SO GOOD. I was shaking when I was reading that fight in the car.

BlinkFl0yd: oop. SPOILERS.

Inno: LOL.

ahshesgone: SORRY.

BlinkFl0yd: That's one thing that'll be in the next parts haha.

ahshesgone: Oh my god sorry I read so many versions of it I’M SORRY.

BlinkFl0yd: It's fine! Lol, call it a teaser.

ahshesgone: t-tt-tadah!

Q: Totally not rushing you, but do you plan on posting some of part 2 soon???

BlinkFl0yd: Hopefully soon. School has actually been horrible.

Q: After this, do you have any other projects lined up? And artists, what're you working on next? >:)

BlinkFl0yd: There's a lot I want to do!

Inno: r e v e r b.

BlinkFl0yd: Oh gosh, REVERB.

#AMA transcripts #rbbc #resbang book club #leap year

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ahainesmajortwo2021 · 4 years ago

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50/50 (Both Halves) INSTALLATION - assessment + physical graduate show (set up/proposal)

THE SET UP

My intention would have been to display my project as an interactive art installation, set up as the image above shows. The room would have been theoretically split in two halves. On WALL 2 would be a 4:3 television monitor, placed on a plinth displaying the Cassette Tape Animation film, with two sets of headphones for the accompanying audio. On WALL 1 would be a projected image displaying the Lunatic (music video) film, with two speakers in either corner playing the sound aloud into the space. The projector would either be mounted to the ceiling (as shown here) or placed on the adjacent wall on a high shelf and then projected to correctly display on the centre of the wall (similarly to the way in which I projected my film Oven in the Picture in Motion exhibition). On the adjacent WALL 3 would be a physical document displaying my dads original lyrics for the song (as written out at the time) - much in the same way a caption is often displayed alongside a piece of art, to provide further context. I will now show a close up of this image:

document displaying Lunatic lyrics

SUMMARY

The overall experience would have been set up with the intention that viewers would become active, navigating the work in a space that they can experience visually, aurally and tactilely. I knew early on in this project that i wanted to create something beyond just the small screen, I wanted to create a space in which the viewer could really become immersed in the work and the time in which it took place. The use of the old 4:3 monitor acts not just as a visual aid but also a physical connection to the past. The song that I have chosen for the music video film (Lunatic) is also very clearly ‘of the time’, one of the main reasons I chose to use it, for its obvious synth sounds and the overall texture of the song. I have furthered this connection through sound in the ‘5050′ film that will play between loops of the music video (excerpt of this is displayed in the previous post). The sound offers a subtle but continuous VHS buzz that will fill the room through the connected speakers, allowing the viewer time to engage with other areas of the installation while not always being drawn to the projection. The 5050 visual also offers further context to the subject - simultaneously acting as a displayed title for the installation:

still from the 5050 film that will be displayed between loops/showings of the music video

RATIONALE/CONCEPTUAL DEVELOPMENT

The reason for the Lunatic (music video) film being projected is representational of the way in which the ‘music’ and the ‘music video’ are the materials that artists put out into the world for their audience, these are what we associate with a musicians identity. I think this is especially true in the context of the early 1980s when music videos were first emerging and how much importance was placed onto music videos for commercial success in the pop music industry. When it comes to the space itself, the music video will be playing aloud on speakers that fill the space and this in a literal sense will be demanding the audiences attention, as soon as they enter the space it will be the music video and the music that takes their attention. The development behind this film has very much been conceptually that of making a music video in a typical sense. For this film I have specifically taken the footage (originally taken by my dad of the ‘5050 band’ in 1983) that was intended for the purpose of making music videos for several of their songs at the time. I have selected a new song (one of their very early ones), which I have listened to and considered both lyrically and musically when it comes to developing and creating the aesthetic and narrative of this music video. The development has been considered in the context of the early 1980s music videos, as well as my own artistic context today. (The concept and development of this film is all explained more thoroughly in previous blog posts).

To juxtapose the dominance of the music video is the old 4:3 television monitor on the opposite wall screening the Cassette Tape Animation film with headphones for the sound. This film is representational for the fun and the contextual elements of the subject, the side that isn’t ‘shown’ to the audience in a more commercial sense. Being in the space on a smaller screen with headphones encourages the audience to seek out the film much in the same way we would have to seek out more information about the ‘people’ behind any of the music we hear. The audience will be intentionally choosing to engage with this film, unlike the projected film which they will see and hear as soon as they enter the space. This film is more personal, more of an insight ‘behind the scenes’, its playful and humorous, and has a hand-drawn/home made quality to it. To really capture that sense is why I have opted for it to be displayed on the smaller screen and experienced through headphones - orchestrating that personal interactive moment between itself and the spectator. This sense runs through the development of the film too - its all hand drawn and hand written animation further emphasising this personal aspect, as well playing to the ‘unfinished/unpolished’ sense of the process from an IDEA track (one where the drum machine broke at that), through to two iterations of a more complete song. The monitor itself simultaneously acts further as an immersive support, a physical connection to the 1980s. Visually, its the music video with its obvious VHS texture/aesthetic that connects with the 4:3 monitor, but instead its the Cassette Tape animation that is screened on it - creating a further connection between these two films/spaces.

AUDIENCE ENGAGMENT (conceptual)

Being within the documentary genre I don’t believe this project is aimed at a particularly specific audience, as the subject is based in reality the primary intention is to inform. I feel as though I am creating a space that offers people an insight into quite a specific and personal topic, but they are able to engage with it through various forms of moving image art that make the subject somewhat more accessible to the wider audience. Rather than revealing this topic through direct facts and opinions, as is typical in a more conventional ‘talking heads’ ‘single screen’ documentary, I have approached this topic in a more abstract sense allowing space for the audience to interact with the work/subject in their own way, leaving room for personal interpretations. Of course there are obvious thematic elements such as music and the 80s, but there are also subtler, themes of friendship and nostalgia, these run on a deeper level through each of the films, and also through the concept of the installation as a whole - and hopefully encourage more people to connect with the project overall.

AUDIENCE ENGAGEMENT (physical)

As explained above I have set the space out with the concept in mind - in two theoretical halves - each displaying one of the films. Both films are set to loop in the space. For the projection the 5050 graphic that runs for 5 minutes between each showing allows the audience time to engage elsewhere in the installation, and also acts as an indicator for the start and finish of each showing of the music video. For the monitor film, I have edited this in such a way that it can be viewed starting at any point as long as it is viewed for 1 full loop from where the viewer starts, due to the cassette ‘chapter’ structure. As the projected film plays aloud in the space it enables multiple people to engage with it at once, while the monitor film is heard on headphones restricting it to a max of 2 people at once - automatically creating the more personal/intimate experience as intended. Due to the nature of being on headphones it also means that the viewer must choose to engage with this piece, in this way they are actively deciding to understand more about the subject/context, the people and relationship behind the ‘music’ (as presented through the Lunatic film). Beside the projection is the ‘caption’, the document containing the lyrics to Lunatic, offering the audience further understanding of the film, as well as furthering the physical connection to the past.

CONSIDERATIONS (technical/financial)

My proposed set up would have ideally taken place in one of the studio spaces in Edward Street for my assessed presentation. I would have also liked to set this up in the same way for a physical graduate show, and I have ensured that all the equipment needed I would have been able to access from the technicians at Edward Street:

4:3 television monitor, 2 x headphones, plinth, projector, 2 x Mac mini, 2 x speakers, + all necessary cables.

Having previously set up a projection installation at Edward Street (the same installation in two different spaces), I have been able to think practically about the execution of this installation and the spaces available to me (despite not actually having been able to visit the site during this module). As this project involves a double screen set up it is definitely a development from my previous installations, but still something I know would have been achievable had I been able to access the space/equipment.

(END OF PROPOSAL POST)

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quincywillows · 4 years ago

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hey maggie! i’ve been following you for so long and as my sophomore year of college is wrapping up soon (thank god, online school is the worst), i’ve found myself literally not doing a lot of enjoyable things that i would want to do or really creating/writing in time that i have away from homework/classes. i’m so curious as to how you created and did all of your writing for fun/fanfic things after already having to write so much for your major?

omg a long time follower... hello. hi my pal. so honored you’ve stuck around this long and my apologies that you’ve dealt with me for so long LOLLLL but happy to have ya! CONGRATULATIONS on finishing your sophomore year of college, especially in these crazy times. i really can’t imagine trying to do school productively in these circumstances, so i have a lot of respect for all y’all that are powering through -- hopefully you’ll get some sense of normalcy in the coming school year. i especially commend you, because sophomore year can be tough no matter where you go to school / what your major is (sophomore slump is a real thing). it was my hardest year of college by far, so mad props for doing the damn thing. you’re super powerful for making it and i’m proud of you!!! i hope you’re proud of yourself too.

this question... it’s a tough one. i hear ya. my first major piece of advice is let yourself rest and recharge if you need to rest and recharge. if your semester has just wrapped up, you might not feel the effects of that fully until a few days after you’re free of it. and it’s 100% okay to let your brain take a little break after being in school mode for so long. i totally get the instinct to feel like okay now that i’m free i have to take advantage of it as much as i can and jump right back into these things i love since i should have wanted to do them this whole time... but our brains are strange things. they need time and their own methods to process things, even in ways we don’t consciously realize we need, and sometimes a break is truly necessary. that means from everything that uses brain power, including those things we love so much. and i know it can feel guilt-inducing to just not do anything (like i said, i know that feeling all too well and am living with it Too Much at the moment), but if your brain needs the break, give it the break. don’t push yourself to write for fun if it ends up feeling stressful and not fun. so to start, try giving yourself a day or two with no expectations to write or be creative and just... relax. absorb some media for a change rather than crafting it (my go-to is always reading books when i’m not creating output these days). i would be willing to bet that if you let yourself breathe with no expectations for even a little while, you’ll start to feel your creative urges and instincts bounce back without even trying, just as you’re hanging out and vibing. that’s how it always goes with me, anyway!

once you get the recharge done and you’ve got some mental energy back, then the question remains -- how do we do creative things and stay motivated while we also have other stuff to focus on? i’ll be candid, for me, writing stuff for fun is the escape from writing stuff for work / school. like it keeps me creatively fresh on both fronts to be constantly playing around and working with different ideas, so i try to keep multiple projects going at one time for that exact reason. when i start to burn out on one concept, i jump into working on something else. (the only time this backfires is when everything is in an outline / brainstorm stage, like i am right now, which let me tell you is a whole other ballpark and my nightmare LMAO). but i think all this to say, part of it is just reframing how you look at the writing you do for fun. i dont think of it as stuff i’m doing On Top Of everything i’ve got going on, it takes equal importance and residency in my mind. they’re just different categories of output. in fact, i’m guilty more so of like working on the fun things when i’m supposed to be working on the Work work (hehe), but again, that’s another angle.

so then what are ways we can get inspired to jump back into the fun things, after reframing our mindset and after our recharge? for me, i have a lot of different things i do that keep writing fun for me. the main one -- and i cannot stress this enough -- is building a storytelling community of some kind where you can just have fun, bounce ideas around, and do writing in a very non-stressful environment. i’ve had friends like this since i was 11, and i owe all of them a life debt because they will never know how much they kept me going creatively. there’s just something very inspirational and creatively rich about having a group of people you feel safe to just throw ideas out to (and who you know actually enjoy listening to you ramble -- that one is crucial. i’ve had friends who i thought were those kind of people and then it ended up turning out pretty bad, and that can kill your creative buzz). for example, i would say 9/10 of the fun fanfic ideas i’ve written and shared started, in some shape or form, as me pitching it to my friends and getting to pop off about it and work out the bare bones with that test audience of sorts. plus, if you have writer friends, for example, this is something you can do for each other and not only build your creative friendship, but also support one another. that’s a key to the sprint method, and it’s how @ambitionsource gets written -- i don’t know if ambition would be almost through 3 seasons at this point if esther and i weren’t writing it together and constantly talking and chatting and brainstorming about it by feeding off each other’s enthusiasm. and in the real world, that’s basically what writing courses are for -- your peers and classmates are that community in that class. there’s something truly so invigorating about having that community, so if you can find that, i cannot recommend it enough.

but what can you do on your own? it’s not always easy to find that community, or if you don’t want to, and honestly sometimes its nice to just work creatively on your own with no interaction from others. for me, one thing i do is try to build the aesthetic around the project to get in the mood of it. for me, the biggest method to this is playlists. i’m a huge music junkie, so making a playlist (often times both vibes with lyrical musical and instrumental with movie scores) is like my immediate go-to when i need to tune in or flesh out a new idea and get in the zone. another thing i love doing that always gets me in the zone is doing character tests / alignments / etc. like personality quizzes are my shit, and i love doing it even more for characters. i’ll spend hours over time taking tests and assigning types and stuff just because not only is it damn fun, it really does flesh out character in ways you wouldn’t expect -- you have to step into their mind to answer questions and really think... like oh, how would x respond to y situation... and it’s really eye-opening sometimes! (hit me up if you want a list of the common personality tests i do for characters; i have a folder on my bookmarks bar lol). you can also try other creative things like making moodboards / pinterest boards, or making edits if that’s up your alley.

if all of that doesn’t seem to unblock your fatigue towards doing what you enjoy, my last piece of guidance -- and i know this sounds annoying, but bear with me -- is to just do it. even if you’re not Feeling It, do it anyway. for a little bit of time, bit by bit. that’s the whole conceit behind the sprint method, which takes writing and breaks it into bite-sized chunks. i’m a subscriber to the belief that writer’s block is a myth and isn’t real, and sometimes you really just have to push through your hesitation and do it. 9/10 times, when i do this, i find myself feeling so much more productive and happy and ready to write again once i just break that mental barrier. and whatever you do in that first breakthrough does not have to be brilliant, it’s just about getting back that energy and flexing those muscles -- especially if they’re rusty.

hopefully some of this will be helpful to you as you try to get your rhythm back! let me know if you’re still feeling stuck and maybe we can narrow in on what might be causing the fatigue. best of luck, writing legend!

#i'm so touched you've been following me for so long and feel comfortable coming to me for advice #i'm proud of you friend!!! you're killing it #writing gabs #writing tips #writeblr #writing #maggie.txt #Anonymous #ask and you shall receive

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dangerouslycleverbooks · 7 years ago

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MARCH WRAP UP???

Hi everyone!

So I decided that Saturdays will be the day of posts. Posts in other days than Saturday will be more random and probably shorter. I do realize that it’s the middle of the month of April and that everyone kind of forgot about March, but I’m about to post my March wrap up anyway.

Because in March I’ve read 9 books I will try to write it as short as I can. It’s not a lot, but I’m not disappointed, because as I said before there are 8 books I need to read per month (because of my reading challange for 2018). Not only I wasn’t disapointed by the number of the books, but also the contents; from all of 9 books I’ve enjoyed every single one, some more, some less, but there is no book I’ve give less than 3*.

The first book I’ve read in March was Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls by Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo. I’ve enjoyed these stories. I wish I had this book when I was younger. It’s inspiring and really well written. Most important it’s not only “book for children”, it’s something that we all can learn something from. Not only young girls and what’s most people haven’t noticed; not only girls. While I get a lot of women that were mention in book are not a really good examples to be followed for good girls, the book is not about being GOOD. It’s for a rebel girls for goodness sake! The book is about powerful and influential women, which sometimes doesn’t go along with being “the good girl”.

The next book was Before I Let Go written by Marieke Nijkamp. Best friends Corey and Kyra were inseparable in their snow-covered town of Lost Creek, Alaska. When Corey moves away, she makes Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return. Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated―and confused. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones about the town’s lost daughter, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she’s a stranger. Corey knows something is wrong. With every hour, her suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets―chilling secrets. But piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter… Though I haven’t gave this book 5* it’s still one of my favorite storie I have ever read! I love the concept, getting to know characters, the wat Marieke wrote this book, not unnecessary the style. I don’t want to say too much because I’m afraid I could destroy you the reading experience.

Another book, or should I say graphic novel, is The Mortal Instruments; The Graphic Novel Vol I. Hanging out with her best friend, Simon, is just about the most exciting thing in Clary’s life…that is, until she realizes there are people only she can see. But when her mother disappears and a monster attacks her, Clary has to embrace a world that she never even knew existed–a world full of vampires, werewolves, demons, and those who fight for the humans, Shadowhunters. I love the idea of the graphic novel for The Mortal Instruments because the first books from the series aren’t really good for older teens and adults. They could easily skip the first three books by reading the graphic version of them! For now, there is only the first half of City of Bones (the first book from TMI series) but there will be more! And hopefully we will get them at least to City of Glass. I recommend buying this edition not only for people who are a bit too grown for the way CoB was writte, but for everyone. It’s fun, the illustrations are really good and also there is one scene that was missing from the original book!

The fourth book from March wrap up is Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levensellet. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her the perfect opportunity to search their ship. More than a match for the ruthless pirate crew, Alosa has only one thing standing between her and the map: her captor, the unexpectedly clever and unfairly attractive first mate, Riden. But not to worry, for Alosa has a few tricks up her sleeve, and no lone pirate can stop the Daughter of the Pirate King. It’s really typical YA novel and from the synopsys you can clearly say it is cheesy, but I really enjoyed my time reading this. I hope the next book (because it is a duology, and I haven’t gave you the name of the sequel for a reason; it’s pretty spoilering). Maybe I liked it because the book is about pirates and sea adventures, and I’m all about it! I don’t have problems with light books (and this was definitely one) I also don’t have any stipulations with it. But I do have some thoughts starting with „this could be better if…”. I wasn’t the big fan of a romance in it, but I believe that Levenseller will make it up with another books!

The next two books are my rereads and the first one is Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare. The year is 1878. Tessa Gray descends into London’s dark supernatural underworld in search of her missing brother. She soon discovers that her only allies are the demon-slaying Shadowhunters—including Will and Jem, the mysterious boys she is attracted to. Soon they find themselves up against the Pandemonium Club, a secret organization of vampires, demons, warlocks, and humans. Equipped with a magical army of unstoppable clockwork creatures, the Club is out to rule the British Empire, and only Tessa and her allies can stop them… I’ve reread this book because I am taking part in rereading Clare’s books before Queen Of Air And Darkness release. I have to admit when I first read Clockwork Angel I wasn’t a big fan of it, especially the love trangle. During the reading this book this month I focus on London and the case they were into, I’ve tried to ignore the love affairs and I have to say, I was really pleased with it. I’m not saying that I’m madly in love with Infernal Devieces and it’s not my favorite series by Cassandra, but it definitely jump on higher place.

My second reread is the first book of my favorite duology of all times (which are basically on the same place as Shades of Magic by V.E. Schwab), and that is Six of Crows by Leigh Berdugo. Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price–and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith. A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes. Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first. If you still wonder about buying this book… don’t wonder, just buy it! If you already read The Grisha trilogy, buy Six of Crows asap! Or if you’re not really interesting in reading The Grisha, just jump right into it! I am really mad at myslef for ignoring Six of Crows because of the hype, but it really is worth it, at least for me. There is no words that can describe my love for this book. The first time I’ve read this book in January of 2018 and I immediately had to jump into the second book! I’ve finished SoC at 9 AM and right after this I went to local book store and bought Crooked Kingdom! Still it wasn’t enough so I ended up wanting to reread both books! First time I focused only on the story and the task they had to do, which basically made me miss a lot of really important things in relation between characters. Probably with the third reread (which will probably happen in the next 4 months) I will find something else. Six of Crows is connected to The Grisha trilogy and some people says it’s not necessary to know it before reading duology. I do believe it is better to read Grisha first because there you have the whole magic system and most important thing of this world is in it. Plus Six of Crows happened after The Grisha series which basically means you might find some spoilers, not big one, but still spoilers. I personally read Six of Crows first, but if I could I would definitely start with The Grisha series.

And now the book that I did enjoy but not that much… and everybody seems to love it… and after years of trying reading it I finally finished it. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone or if you prefer The Sorcerer’s Stone by none other but J.K. Rowling. Everybody probably knows what this book is about so I won’t write about it. And to be clear I love the world of HP, I love the films, I love the story, I love characters… it’s just, the book (THE FIRST BOOK) was not for me. I dislike the first movie from the series as well so maybe it’s just how it is. And maybe because I wasn’t growing with the books or that they are written for kids… I didn’t get it. The only thing I liked about this book was the exploring the world all over again. More details about it etc. For me the worst part of the book (and I do get why it was shown this way, but it still was really pissing me off) is the hate towards Slytherin. That everybody in this house have to be evil. Like they are the worst. (I also might be a bit offended because it’s my Hogwart house). But I will continue the series becuase after all I didn’t hate the book. It was okay, just not something I am madly in love with… or at love at all. I hope the next books will be better, I’m especially excited about The Half Blood Prince which is my favorite part when it comes to movies. I hope to love this series just as everybody else so much! Let’s hope I will.

Let’s move on to two the best books of March, and the first one is… Strange the Dreamer by Taylor Laini. I am so suprised that I loved this book so much. The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around—and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he’s been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep and when a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors who proposed an expedition … to someone else. Because I’m writing full review about this book, I am not gonna write here much. I really do love Lazlo and the storie following his person, and not only his! I am really happy I did buy Strange the Dreamer and I cannot wait to hear more stories from Laini because she’s an amazing author!

And finally probably best of the best reads of this year is A Conjuring of Light by one and only, amazing V.E. Schwab. I absolutely adore Shades of Magic trilogy, it stole my heart with the first sentence! Because A Conjuring of Light is the third book in a series I won’t write anything about it, except the fact that it did broke my heart and left me empty, and yet the ending was so satisfying and beautiful that I cannot complain, but I do need more. And I heard we will get the stories set five years after the Shades of Magic, but we will see what will happen! For now, I will just highly recommend you this trilogy.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my little wrap up and that people won’t jump on me becuase of Harry Potter… we all should respect each others opinion, I mean, everybody has a right to have one (..right?). But that’s it for much, thanks to anyone who read this and let me know down in a comments what was your reads of the month of march and what was your favorite? 🙂

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wsmith215 · 5 years ago

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The Pentagon’s Joint AI Center wants to be like Silicon Valley

It was a busy week for defense-focused AI: DarwinAI signed a partnership with Lockheed Martin, the world’s largest defense contractor, to work on explainable AI for solutions. Robotics company Sphero, the maker of BB-8 droid from Star Wars, spun out Company Six, which will focus on military and emergency medical applications. And Google Cloud was awarded a Pentagon contract for its multi-cloud solution Anthos this week, even though the $10 billion JEDI contract between AWS and Microsoft Azure is still tied up in courts.

But one of the most notable contracts was a five-year, $800 million contract with Booz Allen Hamilton to support the Joint AI Center (JAIC) warfighting group. (Another contract to create the Joint Common Foundation, a cloud-based AI development environment for the military, is also in the works now.) This week, the JAIC also shared more details about Project Salus, a series of predictions from 40 models about supply chain trends in the age of COVID-19 for the U.S. Northern Command and National Guard. With Salus, the JAIC went from idea to AI for military decision makers in two months.

The JAIC was created in 2018 to lead Pentagon efforts to use more artificial intelligence, and is also tasked with leading military ethics initiatives. Perhaps more than any time since its creation, the JAIC is in the midst of change and transition. JAIC director and Air Force Lt. Gen. Jack Shanahan, who has served as JAIC director since its founding steps down next week. VentureBeat spoke at length with his incoming replacement, current JAIC CTO Nand Mulchandani about the future of the organization.

Shanahan spearheaded Project Maven in 2017 with companies like Xnor, Clarifai, and Google, where thousands of employees opposed the contract. For the sake of national security and the economy, Shanahan argues that business, academia, and military must work together on AI solutions as algorithmic warfare becomes a reality.

VB Transform 2020 Online – July 15-17. Join leading AI executives: Register for the free livestream.

Although Shanahan retires August 1 according to the Air Force website, JAIC CTO Nand Mulchandani will take over as acting director in the next two weeks, a JAIC spokesperson told VentureBeat in an email today. He will serve as acting director until a flag officer or 3-star general is confirmed as director later this year. Unlike Shanahan, Mulchandani spent most of his career building startups in Silicon Valley.

In March, the JAIC finished revamping how it approaches AI projects and workflows and moved to adopt a different organizational structure; Mulchandani said the restructure makes the JAIC the only organization in the Pentagon with product managers and an approach to AI product development that resembles Silicon Valley startups and enterprise sales teams.

In an interview with VentureBeat, Mulchandani talked in detail about JAIC’s restructuring in March, how JAIC is helping the U.S. military develop predictive early warning systems, how the Joint AI Center will use Google Cloud’s Anthos and the $800 million Booz Allen Hamilton contract, and how COVID-19 is influencing the group’s operating mission.

This interview was edited for brevity and clarity.

VentureBeat: How will the Booz Allen Hamilton contract play a role in supporting JAIC teams? And will the Joint Common Foundation (JCF) or any other part of JAIC be part of the Google Cloud Anthos deal that was signed with the Pentagon earlier this week?

Mulchandani: We had to find somebody who could help us pull together the sort of software-hardware interface and bring that level of expertise in terms of dealing with the tactical edge or applying models to different form factors with drones and things like that. And that’s where the [Booz Allen Hamilton] joint warfighting contract came in for dealing with incredibly complex deployments across geographic regions, and dealing with different pieces of hardware, software, etc.

So that’s what we’re relying on them for. Their job really is to work with us on pulling in the best AI technology to be able to deploy, so in some sense, we’re not relying on Booz to actually build out all the artificial intelligence for us. They’re here to help us assemble and pull the best of these fits together.

Similarly, we have a Joint Common Foundation RFP out of the street that we’re actually going through the procurement process right now. We’ll have news on that hopefully soon.

The JCF is different in that it is a more of an AI development environment as opposed to an infrastructure management system. The basic goal is when we build out the JCF one day hopefully very soon, we will bring best of breed AI tools and products into the system to allow for AI development.

VentureBeat: So will JAIC be using Anthos then?

Mulchandani: That one [Anthos] came in from the Defense Innovation Unit (DIU). And the sort of multi-cloud model I mean, it’s tied up in this whole discussion around JEDI and cloud infrastructure and the JCF. The DIU did that particular one, and they’ve done it as a sort of general purpose contract that allows DoD customers to use Anthos as a multi-cloud management system.

The JCF is going to be fairly agnostic towards the infrastructure level stuff. We’ll support pretty much all the standard stuff that will support Google Cloud, Azure, Amazon — these are all targets for workloads. And when JEDI shows up, the JCF will be pretty agnostic towards all types of cloud infrastructure and targets. So it’s somewhat related, but those are kind of two separate things on that front.

VentureBeat: Can you walk me through some of the structural changes that the JAIC through earlier this year?

Mulchandani: The reorientation of JAIC basically came around the need for product managers and product teams that build world-class products, and we need a missions team with colonels from our military running those missions that understand to a very deep level what our needs and requirements are.

What we’ve done is taken two sort of key models and applied them. So one is the venture capital model, which is really more about how…we approach investing in and selecting the products and projects that we take on. And the other I would characterize as an enterprise sales model.

Those are the two models that we apply, because they are well understood. Thousands of companies do this every day out in industry in the world.

I spent 26 years in Silicon Valley before going to the DoD. I’ve been here one year, and the most natural pattern for me was the venture capital model because it deals with early stage technology. At the DoD that’s a little trickier, because this is the United States military, and we have lots of people who are trained in doing military things, not building software.

If you’ve ever been in an enterprise technology company, how we build and run sales teams and deal with volumes of customers, and how you triage them and grow that customer base to convert them from leads to customers. “Sales” could have a negative connotation, like we’re trying to sell something, but the way we’ve modeled it is more in terms of customer relationships and customer knowledge.

So we now have a product group that’s composed of a couple of key types of people. So number one is the product manager. The product manager is in charge of owning that sort of requirements-gathering, functional specs, [and] selecting and working with the engineering team to build this thing out and make it happen.

We’ve got a very robust AI and data science team. We’ve got a test and eval section testing products to make sure that they’re there, but it’s also imbibing and making sure that we’re following many of the ethical principles. And the missions team is really — you should think of [that] as our enterprise sales team.

VentureBeat: How is Project Salus a step in a new direction for JAIC?

Mulchandani: So what we did with Salus was a great example of this model, where instead of spending a year over-specifying the product, you get the core needs and requirements in a really basic depth. The funny part was the first version of Salus that we showed NORTHCOMM and the [National] Guard; in some sense, they were a little puzzled because they were like “What’s this? This seems like really, really half baked.” And we had to explain to them that this is the new world, right, that in seven days or eight days this is what you typically get.

It’s a bare bones product that barely works. Every single company that I started, you know, the first board meeting after we raised a couple million dollars from investors, you go show the first product, the “Hello World” product to the board, and if they haven’t done venture capital before or early tech, some of them do fall out of their chairs and say, “Wait, I just spent a couple of million bucks for this company and this is what you built?” It’s like, well no, it’s not ready yet. We’re going to stay close to you and learn what you want and what you need, and we’re going to iterate with you.

VentureBeat: How is COVID-19 sort of changing the way that JAIC looks at its mission, or things of that nature?

Mulchandani: What [Salus] actually taught us to do was to get this sort of concept of code thing into practice, this idea of having the product manager, project managers, the legal and policy folks, the test and eval, everyone; co-residents, the missions team, all aligned and working together. We basically want to bottle this up this experience and this method of building products, and we want to replicate it.

This all stemmed a lot from an off-site that we did a couple months ago. And it gave us a chance for the entire JAIC to actually go off site, sit together, think, ideate, spend some time together outside of the office. And one of the things that struck us was every great organization has a business model and a business plan that it operates on.

When you start a company. What is your world-changing idea? What’s your business plan and model to go attack that business plan? That led us to our mission and charter around leverage and creating repeatability and industrialization and scale around AI.

VentureBeat: In an interview earlier this week, Lt. Gen. Shanahan brought up this notion of a national predictive warning system and that JAIC will be involved with more of that in the future, in part to respond to COVID-19 and as part of a general effort to make the DoD more predictive than reactive. Can you talk a little bit more about that idea of creating early warning systems with AI?

Mulchandani: Typically in the popular imagination, AI always immediately folks go to killer robot and Terminator immediately. But what you’re going to realize is the biggest revolution that’s going to occur with AI in the short term, and is already happening, is in decision support.

That is the biggest and most critical area where it can aid and unambiguously support, and [it’s] also easily deployable without any of the sort of ethics and other issues that we’re grappling with longer-term around the economy and things like that.

What makes AI so powerful — and this is where Lt. General Shanahan, and all of us are sort of pushing this idea of this area in AI — is the ability to highlight and come up with a non-obvious result. When you look at many of the more surprising results in AI recently — all the stuff around Go for instance — the one phrase that we all have to look at is the one which says, the computer behaved in a non-human way. That to me was the critical insight into that whole drama — the non-obvious nature of the solution that the system came up with. And that typifies AI, and that’s where it’s different from statistics and the normal math that people use.

It’s the non-obvious things that humans won’t think about, which is where we’re going with predictive capabilities, and we want to apply this sort of model, not only to pandemic modeling, but of course, we’re going to apply this to … joint warfighting and many of the decision support stuff that we need at the DoD to be able to fight and win the next war if and when it happens.

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shitfics · 8 years ago

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One of These Nights (4/?); jongyu; pg

Jinki knows that he’s gay. What he doesn’t know is how to handle a crush on someone as entwined in the music industry as he is.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

and here’s part 4! ^^ i’ll try and get this whole fic up on ao3 sometime soon as well. this part goes through hello era, up to swc 1, and ends with jongyu having to say some goodbyes for a while since shinee is beginning their japanese debut (2011).

also, fun note maybe: i imagine that in this au, jong got the inspiration for one of his early songs from the last scene -- i kinda wonder if it’s obvious which one, but hopefully y’all can enjoy it! there might be a bigger gap between this part and the next than there was between 3 and 4, because i haven’t started editing the next bit yet. ^^; but i’ll try to keep it MUCH shorter than the gap between 2 and 3 was, lmao.

***

Jinki can’t decide if he has the best luck in the world, or the worst.

The next time he goes to see Jonghyun, it's ten past ten at night, and Jonghyun isn't answering his door. Jinki sends another text message and stretches out his back, opening up a random phone game and prepares himself for a wait.

Two levels later, when the door finally opens, Jinki looks up from his phone, eyes going wide. His greeting is stuck in his throat, somewhere between the realization that Jonghyun is shirtless and the realization Jonghyun is wet.

"Sorry, I haven't finished getting ready yet," Jonghyun smiles, inviting Jinki inside. "I found a good melody, and I got caught up writing, and then I was humming the song to myself in the shower, and--"

"It's fine, hyung, I’m used to it." Jinki steps past him quickly. His nerves prickle at the extra warmth radiating off of Jonghyun's bare skin from the shower. He's always wondered if he'd catch Jonghyun half undressed, considering he’s usually behind schedule, but he hadn't expected it to be today -- or for him to be so far behind that he was only wearing a towel.

In an attempt to imitate his usual actions, Jinki takes a seat on the couch and leans over the coffee table, pretending to be interested in the new stack of books -- anything to avoid looking up. "How, uh -- how long do you think till you're ready?"

"Not long." Jonghyun trots in front of him, foiling Jinki’s plan to avoid looking at him, and glances down at the books. "Do you want to borrow one of these?"

Jinki grins stiffly. "No thanks. I can a probably read a few while you finish getting ready."

"I won't be that long." Jonghyun rolls his eyes and throws the towel from his hands over his head. "I just have to dry my hair and get dressed."

Jinki's eyes snap to the movement as if pulled by a string, face heating at every flex of Jonghyun's torso as he rubs at his hair. He tries to keep his attention up, on Jonghyun's face, or the little mole that rests between his collarbones, but the trail of dark hair leading from Jonghyun's stomach to the towel around his hips keeps pulling it downwards.

Jinki clears his throat and forces himself to look up, only to flush brightly when his eyes meet Jonghyun’s. He jumps for the first excuse he can think of for staring. "How is it that you work out more than I do, when I'm an idol?"

Jonghyun laughs, a pleased smile on his lips. "You're dancing all the time, you don't need to."

"Yeah, but that's cardio. You obviously lift, which I haven't really done much." Jinki sighs. "And Minho's convinced they'll want us to go shirtless for our next concept. I don't think I'll do it, but I'll still probably show my arms and shoulders more..."

"Hm." Jonghyun's eyes scan down Jinki's body. "You already have a good build right now."

Jinki flushes. "You think so?"

"Yeah," Jonghyun says. "I mean, if you're worried, you could always come work out with me -- I've been skipping way too many days to hang out with you since your rehearsals have started slowing down."

Jinki laughs. "I’ll think about it -- I’m just not sure I’d want to spend the time. I enjoy doing nothing too much."

"It's nice, isn't it?" Jonghyun grins. "Let me get dressed so we can get to drinking and doing nothing."

Jonghyun clutches his towel to keep it from falling as he walks back towards his room. Before he slips inside, he gestures for Jinki to follow, apparently not wanting to end their conversation. Jinki stops, hesitating at the threshold of the door until laughs. "You can come in, I’ll be dressing in the bathroom. There's nothing in here but my clothes and a bed."

That's the problem, Jinki thinks when he steps inside. My imagination has been bad enough without the details.

Even with that in mind, Jinki can’t help but look around the room while Jonghyun files through his closet. At least it keeps him from staring at Jonghyun while he’s shirtless.

The walls of Jonghyun’s room are dark, and the furniture is modern, the same simple mix of white and black that Jonghyun had used to decorate the rest of his apartment. An assortment of candles rests along the shaded window, with a select few placed on a small bedside table and the small set of dressers opposite the bed. If it were anyone else's room, Jinki might snicker at the deliberate sensuousness of the decorations, but in Jonghyun's, it just makes him smile as he imagines Jonghyun humming to himself as he pens new lyrics in the candlelight.

"Sorry again for making you wait," Jonghyun says, interrupting the image when he turns away from the closet back to Jinki. He throws a pair of jeans and a shirt over his shoulder and retreats to the bathroom. "I'll be right back, just have to put clothes on."

"Sure," Jinki says, throat tight as he watches Jonghyun leave.

The door clicks behind him, and he looks away from it quickly, unable to face it when he knows Jonghyun would be naked behind it.

He turns back to the rest of the bedroom. With Jonghyun no longer the center of his attention, Jinki's focus automatically shifts to the single point of color in the room, a large but simply composed photo resting on the mantle above the faux fireplace. The sunset shade of orange that predominates the image adds to the relaxing atmosphere of the room, but the subject of the photograph makes Jinki's heart race.

The picture is nearly close enough for Jinki to touch, but he has to do a double take of the image to believe what he sees -- the frame is predominated by the bare back of a shirtless man, resting on his elbow as he looks at what appears to be another topless man opposite him. After looking over his shoulder to make sure Jonghyun hasn't left the bathroom yet, Jinki steps closer to the picture and squints at the corner to read what he assumes to be a title: boys.

Jinki swallows. His English isn't the best, but he can understand that. His thoughts race ahead of him. Did the picture mean something? There’s hoping, and there’s being desperate, but...an image like that isn’t the kind of photograph he would expect to find as a centerpiece in a straight man's bedroom.

Jinki jumps away from the piece when the bathroom door swings open, turning quickly to Jonghyun and putting on an innocent smile -- he hopes he doesn't look guilty.

Jonghyun grins back at him. "I told you I wouldn't take long, but I decided to wear my contacts today, and that was a bit of a struggle. You all ready to go?"

Jinki nods absently, still preoccupied with his thoughts.

"Let's go then, I don't want to miss getting a good table." Jonghyun walks backwards toward the door, pointing at Jinki in challenge. "I'm going to beat you at billiards tonight, you should watch out."

Jinki shoves Jonghyun's shoulder, sending him stumbling. Falling back into their usual teasing should keep from thinking any longer about the photograph on the mantle. But when Jonghyun asks him to shut the door behind him, he steals one last glance, pausing to take imprint the bare shoulders of the boys into his memory.

It doesn’t feel real. He can't shake the feeling that tomorrow he'll doubt he saw it at all.

***

realjonghyun85: Hello~ Hello~

majingki: ...Hyung

majingki: How long are you going to use that joke TT

realjonghyun85: Until you make me stop!!

majingki: Well, I couldn't do that to you he he

majingki: I'm too happy you like the song that much ^^

majingki: You've played it a few times on Blue Night already, right?

realjonghyun85: Of course I've played it!!

realjonghyun85: My songs are still on that album too...

realjonghyun85: Promoting it benefits us both he he

majingki: You're so greedy hyung

realjonghyun85: Only because I want to buy you meals~

realjonghyun85: But you know I'm playing

majingki: I can always tell ^^

majingki: How are you hyung?

majingki: I've barely gotten to talk to you since our repackage promotions started TT

majingki: I miss you

realjonghyun85: I’m good

realjonghyun85: And I've missed you too Jinki-yah

realjonghyun85: But you’re nearly done, right?

realjonghyun85: So we can meet more? ^^

majingki: Yeah we’re nearly done with our repackage

majingki: But I'm actually still kind of busy TT

realjonghyun85: Oh?

majingki: We're preparing something big...

majingki: I'm really excited for it

reajonghyun85: Something big?

realjonghyun85: Why are you being so vague...

realjonghyun85: Are you going to tell me what it is???

majingki: Hm...

majingki: Not sure

realjonghyun85: Jinki-yah TT

realjonghyun85: Please?

majingki: No ^^

realjonghyun85: You can't just leave me hanging like that TT

realjonghyun85: You have to tell me!

majingki: Of course I'll tell you eventually

majingki: But I'd rather tell you in person

majingki: I want to see your face when I do~

realjonghyun85: Hmph, fine TT

realjonghyun85: I'll wait till then

realjonghyun85: But I'm not buying you anything until you tell me what it is!

majingki: Really hyung ... you would blackmail me like that? TT

realjonghyun85: It's not blackmail, it's incentive

realjonghyun85: So you should tell me whatever it is the first time we meet again ^^

realjonghyun85: You want something delicious?

realjonghyun85: You're hungry after your promotions, right? How about steak?

majingki: Fine hyung ... I’ll tell you right away when I see you

majingki: Let's meet soon

majingki: I really do want to tell you ^^

***

"You’re having a concert?" Jonghyun blinks at him, excitement already bubbling through from under his shock. "Seriously? SHINee’s first concert?"

"Our first concert," Jinki repeats with a grin, leaning over the table to whisper. "The first show will be in Japan, the day after Christmas."

"In Japan?" Jonghyun's eyes widen as he takes in the information. "Not here?"

"I don't really get it myself." Jinki shrugs and sits back in his seat. "I'm sure some people aren't going to like it, but I guess it kind of makes sense. We're launching our Japanese debut right after, and it's a good way to start things off."

"Mm." Jonghyun's finger runs a slow circle around his drink. "I keep forgetting that's coming up...or I'm trying to forget about it." Jonghyun sighs. "Even though you're usually busy, I've gotten used to having you around, you know? I don’t know what I’ll do with myself."

"Yeah," Jinki agrees in a quiet mumble. The excited buzz that had carried between them dampens, and Jinki watches glumly as Jonghyun traces his eyes absently around the restaurant. The pessimistic part of him is already convinced that leaving will put Jonghyun in the perfect position to find a girlfriend. Spending nearly a year away from home for their new Japanese promotions would be hard enough without that worry hanging over his head.

Thankfully, Jonghyun cuts the silence short. "Come on, let's not make this sad just because of what will come after -- you brought good news. Your first concert! Am I going to have to fight for tickets, or are you going to get me some?"

Jinki tilts his head, confused. "Tickets...for the concert in Japan?"

"I can afford to go," Jonghyun says with a shrug. "I'll just fly out and book a hotel for the weekend. Unless you'd rather me not?"

"No, it's not that. We're just having Seoul concerts a few days later, and those would be easier for you to get to."

"But the one in Japan is special, isn't it?" Jonghyun grins. "I figured you'd be having one here too, but I'd rather go to your first."

Jinki smiles. He doesn't want to encourage Jonghyun to spend that kind of money, but he's having a hard time hiding that he's pleased. "You're sure, hyung?"

"I'm really sure." Jonghyun reaches over the table to squeeze his shoulder. "Besides, I have a new reputation as a fan to maintain."

Jinki raises an eyebrow. "You're really getting invested in that, huh?"

"Of course," Jonghyun says. He leans forward, looking around the near-empty bar before he switches his voice to a dramatic whisper. "So, about getting a ticket..."

"I'll get you one, I promise." Jinki pushes him back with a wide grin. "You'll just have to worry about getting there."

***

Exhaustion weighs on Jinki’s bones the moment he opens his eyes to his blaring phone alarm. His knees are still protesting from the test of their stage entrance, and his arms are sore from the fall he had to break when someone had left a cord in a dark corner of the stage -- but it's not enough to keep him buried under the covers. The excitement of the upcoming concert takes the edge off his aches, and the knowledge that Jonghyun would be meeting him that morning has him jump out of bed to claim the shower before Kibum can even grab his toiletry bag.

After a quick rinse-off, Jinki rushes through drying his hair and doesn’t bother to style it with more than a brief comb-through. That would be taken care of by professionals later, anyways, and he doesn’t want to missing a minute with Jonghyun. He needs to make the most of the time he has left with Jonghyun before the months where his schedule will force them apart.

Jinki takes the elevator down the ground floor and steals a bench in the lobby. His leg bounces impatiently as he waits. A variety of guests filter in and out from the doors at the entrance, smiles and travel-worn frowns peaking out over their high collars and bundled scarfs that protect them from the chilly weather. Gusts of wind slip inside to his seat on the bench, and he shivers, readjusting his jacket as he peers out at the crowds. Jonghyun had said he'd get here about now...

A familiar leather jacket catches his eye, and he stands up, squinting through the small crowd at the entrance until he recognizes Jonghyun. When their eyes meet, Jonghyun’s lips pull into a grin. He pushes through the crowd, rushing meet Jinki at the bench, and stops just in front of him to catch his breath. "See? Told you I'd make it."

"I never doubted that you’d show." Jinki pulls Jonghyun into a hug. When he starts to pull back, he sees that the bags under Jonghyun's eyes are deeper than ever, and he can’t resist chastising him. "You didn't sleep at all, did you, hyung? You just stayed up all night before your flight."

Jonghyun shrugs. "I'll have plenty of time to sleep today while you're busy with rehearsals. I love Tokyo, but I've been here enough that I don't need to do sightseeing anymore."

"If you say so," Jinki says. He narrows his eyes when Jonghyun covers a yawn against his shoulder before stepping out of his arms. "...Just try not to fall asleep over breakfast, alright?"

"I won't, trust me! I'm starving. And I'm craving pancakes." Jonghyun fixes his bag over his shoulder and peers around the lobby. "Do you know where the restaurant is? They should have pancakes there...I did some research on the trip over."

"Yeah, we ate there last night -- I'll lead you there," Jinki says, eager to get out of the crowded lobby and sit so they can talk properly. Grabbing Jonghyun by the elbow, he steers him towards the restaurant, keeping his head down when they weave around the gathering bundle of travelers by the check out desk. He'd been so preoccupied with the thought of meeting Jonghyun he'd forgotten how public a hotel lobby could be, and he doesn't want to risk running into a group of fans without a translator to turn them away kindly.

Thankfully, they reach the restaurant without interference, and Jinki greets the waitress with his name and the time of the reservation he had booked last night.

"Wow, you planned ahead." Jonghyun's eyes crinkle in amusement, and he nods at where Jinki's fingers are still wrapped around his sleeve. "That excited to have me here, huh?"

Jinki snaps his hand back quickly, but can’t fight the flush that blooms on his cheeks. He doesn’t know why, but something about seeing Jonghyun in a new place is making it harder to keep his feelings in check and his hands to himself. His balance is thrown off, and in the lobby of the foreign hotel, the only tether to his usual life in Seoul is the pleasant buzz in his chest when he looks at Jonghyun. It's hard not to cling to that.

Now overly conscious of his movements, Jinki makes sure to leave extra space behind Jonghyun when he follows him to their seats. Jonghyun is his friend, and nothing more, so he needs to act like it -- he doesn't have liquor as an excuse this time, and he doesn’t want to ruin the memories of his first concert for a feeling he's already gotten used to ignoring.

But at the first smile Jonghyun gives him from across the table, Jinki's resolve weakens, and he smiles back despite the pinch it causes his heart.

After the waitress takes their orders, he places his hand near Jonghyun's to make sure he has his attention. "Thank you for coming to our concert. You know I wouldn't mind if you went to the one in Seoul instead, but you still came all this way...it means a lot."

"I wouldn't want to miss your group's first solo concert, Jinki-yah. It's worth it to me." Jonghyun leans forward and raises a brow. "And besides, I’ve heard rumors that you'll be singing some of my songs."

Jinki huffs and props up in front of his face to keep Jonghyun from reading his expression. "I'm not telling you anything, hyung. I want all the songs to be a surprise -- it'll be more exciting that way."

With a single finger, Jonghyun reaches across the table and tips down the front of Jinki's menu to stare at him until he's forced to look away to keep from laughing. Jonghyun grins victoriously. "Yeah, I can tell you're doing a song or two of mine. You're horrible at keeping things a secret."

"I’d say I’m good at it, actually." Jinki snaps his menu back up to hide his smile. Though Jonghyun probably expects that them to do one of the ballads he wrote for their last album -- and they were -- he probably wouldn't expect Jinki's solo song to be a cover of a song he wrote for a different artist years ago. That was going to be a surprise, he's sure.

The waitress returns a short moment later with their drinks and pancakes, and Jonghyun thanks her briefly. "How are you enjoying Japan? Are all the concert preparations going well?"

"We haven't really gotten to see much of Japan yet, we’re too busy," Jinki says. "And rehearsals are exhausting, but I’m not really noticing it as much as I thought I would. I'm too excited we're finally having a concert. I'm more bothered at spending Christmas night alone for another year...they always plan things right around it. I’d like to at least go see some lights or get a cake."

"You won't be alone though, right?" Jonghyun asks, plopping the strawberry perched atop his pancake into his mouth. "You'll probably still be rehearsing with your members."

"Yeah, I guess." Jinki frowns as he drenches his pancake in syrup. "But that's pretty much the same thing as spending it alone, you know?"

Jonghyun snickers. "Really? Spending Christmas with four handsome men can't be that bad, can it?"

Jinki freezes with his fork in his mouth. He stares at Jonghyun, then glances away, trying not to look uncomfortable as he hurries to finish chewing. It’s a joke, he knows -- Jonghyun had laughed while saying it -- but his pulse is still racing at the mere possibility that some part of him had given his sexuality away.

"Sorry, that was a bad joke, wasn’t it?” Jonghyun covers his mouth with his hand and clears his throat. “I shouldn’t try and be funny when I'm really tired. And the last person I talked to was my sister, and you know I have no filter around her."

"It's fine." Jinki shrugs, trying not to read too much into the wording of Jonghyun's apology. “I'm not offended."

Jonghyun looks up from his plate, stare suddenly serious. "You're really not?"

"Not at all." Jinki fiddles with his napkin in his lap to avoid Jonghyun's gaze. It's irrational, he knows, but he's afraid if Jonghyun looks at him for too long he'll realize the flush on the back of his neck is because the joke hit a little too close to home. Everything about the way Jonghyun had said his last question made it sound like a test.

Jinki fumbles for a change of subject. "So, hyung...you're heading back to Seoul right after the concert?"

"Yeah, the morning after." Jonghyun sighs. "I won't be able to go to your concert there, unfortunately. It cuts too close to Blue Night, and we're doing a New Year's special, and I have to do it live."

"That's fine, hyung. You coming here is more than enough. But you're at least coming to the afterparty, right?"

Jonghyun blinks. "Am I allowed to?"

"Of course you are! I’m inviting you." Jinki smiles. "I already told them I'd have a friend coming. My parents are going to the Seoul concert, so it really isn't a problem."

"I'll be there, then.” Jonghyun grins. “I can't stay too late, but I don't want to miss seeing you all excited after your concert...I'm sure that'll be fun."

***

Somehow, the lights in the hallways backstage feel brighter than the ones they had performed under. Jinki blinks away his last image of the crowd as he tries to adjust to the glaring white walls and drags a sniffling Kibum along with him back to the dressing room.

After bowing at a dozen staff members, they finally reach the quiet room, and Jinki pulls the rag out of his pocket to dab at the the tears still on Kibum’s cheeks. "You going to be alright, Kibum? Don't cry too hard, we have to sing again in a few days."

"I'm fine...just happy we made it here." Kibum laughs and wipes at his eyes. "Shit, I hate crying like this."

"We deserve to get a little teary." Jinki squeezes his shoulder. "Better to get it out now than when we're celebrating."

"Yeah. I still can't believe we--" Kibum yelps when Minho and Jino suddenly surge up behind him with linked arms and grapple him until he's forced into the middle of their hug. With little luck, he tries to squirm out of it, but only manages to pop his head up from between them with a scowl. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You're crying so much, we wanted to comfort you." Kibum's expression softens slightly, and Minho lets him go with a grin. "We're going to sneak out the back soon with the managers. They already reserved that restaurant for us, so we just have to get in the van."

"It's gonna be great." Jino swings out of their huddle, but keeps one arm around Minho's waist. "We're going to drink so much."

"Hopefully." Jinki pulls out his phone and immediately pulls up his chat with Jonghyun. "We’re going to the same restaurant they were talking about last night, right? I wanted to invite Jonghyun along with us."

"Yeah, it's that one." Jino leans towards Jinki's phone to try and get a peak of his screen, but gives up when Jinki tilts it away. He sighs. "I still can't believe he came out all the way to Japan for our show, even if we are doing some of his songs. How'd you get him to do that?"

"You know we're friends...it’s not like I had to drag him here or anything," Jinki says, trying not to flush. "Working with SM just opened up a lot of opportunities for him, so probably means a lot to him that we were doing his songs live."

"Well, we'll sing them again for him once we're drunk. He'll never get a show like that in our concerts."

Jinki rolls his eyes, choosing to ignore that comment when he hears a ping from his phone to let him know that Jonghyun has responded. With the verification that Jonghyun will meet him there shortly, he tucks his phone away and allows the other members to drag him away to the van.

As the adrenaline of their concert fades from his system on the ride to the restaurant, his nerves take over, and a part of him begins to worry that Jonghyun hadn’t yet given his opinion of the concert for a reason. What if he didn’t like the arrangement they’d used of his songs? Or thought Jinki breathed in the wrong parts? Or that his voice was too warm for the old song he’d chosen?

By the time they arrive, Jinki’s palms are sweating, and he grabs the first seat he sees that will give him a good view of the entrance. Taemin sits next to him and chatters away, apparently not noticing Jinki’s nerves or the fact he keeps one eye on the door, but his presence is comforting enough that when Jonghyun finally arrives, Jinki manages to greet him with a smile.

Jonghyun pulls off his hat and gives him a small wave, then circles his way around the table to say hello to the other members and staff. After finishing his last introduction, he pushes his way back to Jinki to squeeze into the seat across him. "Looks like everyone already got started with the drinking, huh?"

"Most of us, yeah." Jinki reaches for the nearest bottle. "You want me to pour you one, hyung?"

"Sure, thanks." Jonghyun unwraps his scarf and pulls off his jacket. "Hopefully it'll warm me up. It’s about to snow outside, I can feel it."

"It'll help." Jinki keeps his eyes on the cup as he pours out the drink, still nervous -- Jonghyun still hasn't said a word about the concert. When Jonghyun’s fingers brush against his as he takes the cup, his stomach does an extra flip, and he finally meets Jonghyun’s eyes with a heated flush across his cheeks.

"Sorry for not talking about the concert yet, I wanted to wait to see you in person--" Jonghyun turns his head to take the drink in one quick swallow, then sets down the empty cup and grins widely. "You were amazing. The whole concert was incredible. I might have cried a little, at the end...and when you did my song. You didn't warn me about that."

Jinki shrugs, trying to play it off, and refills his glass for him. "I figured you'd know, since it was one of the ballads, and you already guessed that we’d be doing it."

"I expected you to sing one of my songs from the last album, yeah -- and you did really well at that -- but you know I mean the one you did for your solo. Why didn’t you tell me?"

"Oh, that one..." Jinki bites his lip. He's been anxious to hear Jonghyun's reaction to that one the most. "Did I pull it off well?"

"I loved it." Jonghyun beams at him. "I really never imagined you singing Love Belt, since I wrote it before I thought I had a shot at working with SM artists, but it was a perfect fit for your voice. You should have asked me before using it, though."

"Why? Are you going to sue me for it, hyung?" Jinki teases.

Jonghyun laughs. "No, of course not. I'm honored you did it. I just wish you had given me the chance to make a special arrangement for you.”

"Next time, maybe?" Jinki smiles, heart fluttering when their gazes lock, but his attention bounces quickly back to the table when he sees his drink move. He frowns at the hand on the glass, recognizing it as Taemin’s, and pushes it back. "Really, Taemin? You're going to steal my drink while I’m distracted?"

"If you're not going to drink it, I don't see why I can't," Taemin says. "You let me drink back at home sometimes."

"Yeah, but that's different -- we’re in a different country right now. I don't want to start our Japanese debut with a drinking scandal," Jinki says, fully aware that Jonghyun's watching the exchange. He's not sure if the amused smile Jonghyun's wearing is for him, or for Taemin, but seeing it softens him up -- it probably wouldn’t hurt if he let Taemin drink a little.

Jinki sighs and pushes the glass a subtle inch over towards Taemin. "I changed my mind -- you can have some. Just don’t make yourself sick."

"I won't." Taemin grabs the glass with a grin. After turning his head to drink, he sets the now-empty glass on the table with a loud clink and coughs, mouth staying open as his face puckers from the bitter taste.

When Jonghyun laughs, Jinki grimaces, already regretting his decision. "Please don’t drink at that rate. You’ll definitely get sick."

"I'm just trying to catch up with everyone else." Taemin huffs. "I drink almost as well as you do."

Jinki rolls his eyes, but decides not to dignify that with a response. He doesn't want to open up a chance for Jonghyun to talk about the times he hasn't handled his liquor as well as he'd promised. As if reading his thoughts, Jonghyun smiles at him knowingly from across the table and pushes his own glass towards Taemin. "Here, you can have mine too. I just realized I probably shouldn’t have much since I have an early flight tomorrow."

Taemin smiles, voice as polite as he can seem as he snatches up the glass before Jonghyun can change his mind. "Thank you, Jonghyun-ssi."

Jonghyun shakes his head. “You don’t need to be formal, since I’m close to Jinki. You can call me hyung."

A spike of jealousy stabs at Jinki’s gut. He pushes his foot against Jonghyun's under the table. "Hyung, do you want to go outside?"

A shout as Minho bests yet another manager at arm-wrestling snaps Jonghyun's attention away from him just as he blurts out his question. He blinks widely, then turns back to Jinki with an apologetic smile on his lips. "Sorry, what were you saying? It's a bit hard to hear."

Jinki flushes. Somehow having to repeat himself makes asking Jonghyun for a moment alone seem more serious than he had meant it to be. "I was wondering if you want to head outside for a bit? I know it's pretty loud in here, and I kind of want to see the city..."

"That sounds good." Jonghyun looks at him warmly and reaches back to grab his jacket. "A walk would be nice, and we can grab some street food. I'll slip out ahead of you."

Nodding in agreement, Jinki mumbles an excuse about the restroom to his manager and grabs his own jacket and scarf. Bundling them until he can hide them behind his back, he waits for the clamor on the other end of the table to distract the last of their managers before slipping outside.

When Jinki opens the door and steps outside, Jonghyun looks up from tugging on his gloves. "Not bringing anyone else?"

"No..." Jinki trails off shyly and begins to put on his jacket. "I kind of wanted some time alone."

Jonghyun laughs and steps away from entrance, putting them out of view from the inside. "A little tired of your members?"

"A bit, and I'll be stuck with them for the next few months." Jinki grins guiltily. "I've had enough of them in the past few days alone.”

"I can imagine, with rehearsals and everything. But it paid off, didn’t it? Your concert was incredible."

"You've said that already." Jinki laughs laughs as he pulls up his face mask.

"It's worth repeating." Jonghyun begins to walk, leading the way down the street towards a long line of food stalls. "It was really nice to hear you all sing the song I wrote live."

"You've said that already too, when we were in the restaurant with Taemin."

"Yeah, well -- I wrote it with your voice in mind, and you're my friend. So it means a little more just saying it to you."

Jinki stops in the middle of the sidewalk. "You wrote it for my voice?"

"I mean -- I considered the other members too," Jonghyun waves his hands defensively as he corrects his statement. "But you have a really distinct color to your voice, you know? It makes sense to focus on that when composing. Haven't I said that before?"

"Kind of, I guess," Jinki mumbles. "Maybe I'm just processing it differently because I'm drunk..."

Jonghyun laughs and wraps an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him tight enough for Jinki to feel it even through the thick wool of his jacket. "I know you're not that drunk, Jinki-yah -- you didn’t drink at all after I got there, and your tolerance is way too high for you have gotten drunk before I did."

“Maybe.” Jinki leans into the warmth of the contact just before Jonghyun lets go and sighs. He wishes he had gotten to drink more before they left, but he didn't trust himself to mix post-concert adrenaline and alcohol around Jonghyun -- considering they were alone now, he probably would have wound up doing something stupid.

"Is there anything you want to try?” Jonghyun says, interrupting his thoughts. “I'll buy you something, since your managers covered all the food in the restaurant. I think you'll really like yakitori."

"Funny, hyung." Jinki rolls his eyes. "I know that's chicken."

"Well, do you want it or not?"

Jinki bites his lip and looks into the small little alley. Even out here, he can smell the food, which is more than tempting -- he'd only managed to get down small one plate of appetizers at the bar before he had jumped at the chance to sneak away with Jonghyun.

Jonghyun already looks triumphant before he opens his mouth, and Jinki sighs, knowing he's only adding to the long list of times he's chosen his favorite food over trying anything radically new. "That sounds good, hyung. You lead the way."

"I thought so." Jonghyun bumps his shoulder against Jinki's before stepping into the alleyway. As he walks ahead, he hums the last song from the concert, and there’s a small smile on his lips when he ends it just as they arrive to the food stall.

Inside the tarped entrance, there's not much room for space between them. The heat from the grill makes Jinki sweat under his bundled clothing the moment they step inside, but it's a welcome relief from the chill of outdoors. Jonghyun orders for them both smoothly in Japanese and pays, nodding politely and passing over his change when the cook hands them their plates.

Jinki waits until Jonghyun passes him the skewers to switch back to Korean. "You speak Japanese, hyung?"

"Just enough to get around," Jonghyun says, smiling widely at Jinki's shocked expression and picks up a skewer for himself and pulls a small piece of the chicken from the skewer with his teeth. "I’m not fluent enough to write lyrics in Japanese, but I can sell my songs here."

"You could have helped me with some of it before I came here. You know how bad I am with languages..."

Jonghyun laughs, covering his mouth. "Would you really want to spend our time doing that? Instead of drinking and everything else?"

"I guess not," Jinki admits. He pouts until Jonghyun gives a nudge that lingers long enough to feel more like he’s being leaned on.

His heart flutters light in his chest when Jonghyun finally pulls back to smile at him. He doesn't think Jonghyun had anything to drink -- he hadn't seen him order a single beer -- but this is touchier than he usually is sober, and it only makes him want more. Jinki takes advantage of the cramped space to press their knees together under the counter as they finish off their meal, and Jonghyun seems to accept that, because there’s a hand on his knee a minute later that feels warm enough to burn his skin all the way up to his cheeks.

There's no excuse to linger after their plates are taken back from them, but Jinki is reluctant to give up the contact. He keeps himself close to Jonghyun when they finally squeeze out of the stall and back into the alley, and his fingers dance nervously in his pocket when they turn onto the street and he stays just as close, shoulder half-brushing against Jonghyun with every step. He waits for a question, or for Jonghyun to move into the new space in the sidewalk, but all he gets is shy smile that strikes him quiet as they continue to back out to the street.

Neither of them mention heading back. Jonghyun walks them in circles around the same two blocks, humming an unfamiliar melody that Jinki assumes is a work in progress. There’s words stuck in Jinki’s throat -- words he can’t say, like how Jonghyun’s hair looks beautiful in the mix of moon and street lights, and words he can, like how much he’ll miss him and how he’ll text him often -- but there’s not nearly enough need to express them to force them past his throat.

All they'll have over the next few months is talking to each other, and what he'll miss the most is the simple presence of Jonghyun besides him. He has that now, and he doesn’t want to disturb it.

When a snowflake lands on his nose, leaving it cold and wet, Jinki stops. He reaches up to feel his hat, yanking his hand away when he feels that some of the knit is already damp. "How long has it been snowing? I somehow didn't realize..."

"Damn, is it? I wanted to stay out a little more." Jonghyun looks up at the sky and sighs. "I guess we should take you back to the restaurant, then...I don't want you getting sick before the Seoul concerts."

Jinki buries his face down in his scarf, hiding a frown. He wants to argue that he'll be fine, but he already knows he wouldn't win -- Jonghyun is too much of a worrier to let him risk his voice for a few extra minutes together. He exhales loudly in annoyance. "Do you remember the way back?"

"Yeah, I led us around the same routes for a reason," Jonghyun says. "I know how easily I can get lost."

They head backwards along the same path they’d been traced several times now, until Jonghyun changes a single turn to bring them back to the restaurant.

“Here it is.” Jonghyun says. He pulls his phone out his pocket and dials a number. "You can head inside, I'm calling a cab to take me back to my hotel. It shouldn’t be too long of a wait."

"No, I don't want you waiting out here alone," Jinki says. He crosses his arms and joins Jonghyun by the curbside. "It’s too late for me to just leave you here."

Jonghyun opens his mouth to protest, but decides against it when the service he’d been calling finally picks up. After giving his current location and the name of his hotel, he hangs up the phone and sighs. "If you insist on staying with me, I won’t stop you. Just go inside if your throat starts hurting, okay?."

"Sure, hyung," Jinki agrees, attention already on the street.

At every cab that passes, Jinki’s heart clenches, expecting each to be the one that will take Jonghyun away from him for the night. When he finally takes his eyes away from the traffic to glance at Jonghyun, he freezes, caught off guard.

There’s an expectant look to Jonghyun. Judging by the fact his eyes didn’t have to move at all to meet Jinki’s, he must have already been staring, and his lips are pursed, hands shoved fully into his pockets as he blinks away the snow dusting in his eyelashes.

He smiles warmly, half-shy, and Jinki smiles back. Jinki’s stomach flutters with hope -- he’s never seen Jonghyun smile quite like that before -- but it twists into a bitter knot before he can even think to do something with the emotion.

He tears his eyes away, biting his lip as he tries to gather himself again.

If he were a girl, he wouldn't hesitate to confess to Jonghyun, and he's even considering it still -- it's heavy on his tongue, held back only by a fear of what he might lose if he says them -- but he can’t say a thing.

He forces himself to meet Jonghyun’s eyes again, and this time, the smile Jonghyun gives him is stiff.

Jinki’s heart tightens again, and he tries to console himself with what he already has. At least he can enjoy the longing. At least he’s able to stand two-feet away from the man that makes him consider the possibility of risking his career.

At least he doesn’t have to worry about rejected, since he’ll never try.

He’s pulled away from his thoughts when Jonghyun inhales sharply and rocks back on his heels. "So, uh -- how long till I see you again?"

"We'll be back for our Seoul concerts, and I'm staying with my family for a bit." Jinki says. He looks down at Jonghyun's feet as he kicks them against the sidewalk. "But then we have recordings, and photoshoots, and interviews...a bunch of performances, too. It's kind of like we’re debuting all over again, so we’ll be busy."

“Ah.” Jonghyun bites his lip. "It'll really be a while till you’re back then, huh?"

Jinki nods. He's tried not to think about it or put it into numbers -- he hasn’t wanted to imagine going so long without seeing Jonghyun in person, and he hasn’t wanted to imagine what Jonghyun might do with his time instead -- but it really will be months.

A taxi pulls up besides the curb. Jinki’s heart stops. And suddenly, there’s arms around him, and he’s being squeezed from all sides as Jonghyun wraps around him in a tight embrace.

"You keep reading, alright? Don't forget the books I brought you. I’ll send you more if you get through them."

Jinki laughs, grinning wide to keep himself from tearing up. "Yes, teacher."

"Don't be a smart ass," Jonghyun grumbles. He pulls back and forces out a smile as his hands linger on Jinki’s arms. "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too," Jinki chokes out. He doesn’t trust himself with more words when Jonghyun's eyes are already brimming.

Jonghyun lets go, and steps into the open door of the cab.

"It'll only be a few months," Jinki says, hoping to lift the heaviness already weighing down on his chest.

"Yeah." Jonghyun nods and climbs into the back of the cab, now avoiding Jinki's eyes. He dabs at his own with the sleeve that peeks through the end of his jacket. "Good luck with your concerts and your Japanese debut, Jinki-yah."

“Thanks."

The door of the cab snaps shut. Jinki bites his lip and steps back. The car takes off in an instant, and he watches the red lights of the cab with a hole in his chest until it disappears out of view.

#jongyu #hyung au #long fic #this is the SLOWEST slow burn i swear to god #JUST KISS...#those photos in jongs room are gay #and the photographer has a lot of other...similar photos #remember how proud he was sayin he decorated his room himself lmao

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