#edit oh also i need to read the suffering game!!!!!!

[six-of-ravens]

FINISHED MY SONG OF THE LIONESS REREAD!!!!

(if this makes no sense please bear with me, it's after midnight)

Overall, some parts of the series didn't hold up as well as I thought they would, but many parts did. Alanna is still my homegirl. The swordfights and sorcery and all that never fail to entertain. There is a bit more sexism than I remember, and some of the parts with the Bazhir didn't age very well, but it remains a classic.

BOOKS RANKED BASED ON HOW MUCH I LIKED THEM:

1. Lioness Rampant - I think this is the book where Pierce really hit her stride as a writer. The world seems fuller, the plot thicker, the characters more established. The pacing is a lot better, too: this book is about 100 pages longer than all the others and Pierce uses those pages well. The final battle against Roger is a little anticlimactic (though it's preceded by like four other battles) but well earned. I hated Liam for the most part, because frankly he's a shit boyfriend to Alanna, but also she dates 3 men over the series and I guess one of them had to suck for real. I did love Thom though - I think he and Raistlin cemented my love for asshole fuckup mildly, ambitiously evil wizards early on.

2. Alanna: The First Adventure - this one is kind of tied for first place. It's a shorter book, but the pacing is decent and we get all that wonderful knight school content. Extremely entertaining, and a very fun start to the series.

3. The Woman who Rides like a Man - a nice breather of a book after the events of the first two, lots of character growth for Alanna, with cool desert sorcery and fighting and all. I think this book is what really set the pattern for The Immortals and the Circle of Magic books - Pierce looooves writing kids learning magic, and she's good at it. That said, there are obviously a lot of Issues with the portrayal Bazhir (clearly based off a combo of Islamic folk and Native Americans) as violent and sexist, and Alanna and Jonathan (especially Jonathan, as the Voice) take on kinda cringe white saviour roles. It's not the most explicitly horrible thing ever but it does grate a bit.

4. In the Hand of the Goddess - well, someone had to be last. This is kind of the weird middle child in the quartet, where Alanna is in the midst of becoming a knight but there's a lot of random events that happen in that time. Most of the book is told in a series of vignettes - mainly incidents where Alanna or Jon narrowly avoid death or injury due to Duke Roger's schemes. However, they're a little too disconnected and Alanna's motivation (or lack thereof) is a little too vague until the final scene to satisfy me. The official explanation is that Roger was veiling Alanna so she just kept forgetting to report him, but we never actually see this in the story. She just builds up all these theories and is 100% certain it's him but doesn't tell anyone but Myles because she's certain no one will believe her (and why would they - at this point he's a respected noble). Idk, I just wanted more like....harmony between the ending and these vignettes I guess. Also, there's the horrible cringe subplot of everyone, including the goddess, treating Alanna like she's some frigid old hateful spinster when she's 15 and doing the normal teenage thing of going "I'll never have a boyfriend!!" I just wish some of the patronizing speech had been cut and Alanna discovered her sexuality without all that BS. Also, George is quite creepy in this one, he's quite a bit older than Alanna and she's still underage by modern terms so I didn't enjoy his attempts at romance as much as in the next book.

ANYWAY. Childhood favourites, like 8/10 will read again, just have to brace myself for the 80s-ness of certain things and remember this was the author's first series and she was still experimenting with style.

[marlenesluv]

book lover. (LN)

summary: you’re a booktuber, always posting about your books, coffee, music, and of course, your amazing boyfriend, lando norris.

warnings: none!

note: i’ll probably write another book reader for daniel as well. (the polls were close and idk i think they’d both be cute.) also, another note, haley pham, sara carroli, and destiny sidwell are bookstagram/youtubers, so keep that in mind while reading. this is for my taylor swift and books lovers, cuz me too.

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: landonorris, haleypham, and 246,275 others

y/n.user: “and it would’ve been sweet, if it could’ve been me”

view comments…

landonorris: are you breaking up with me????

|> y/n.user: HUH??

|> landonorris: the caption??????????

|> y/n.user: thats a taylor swift quote, lan. and it’s about the book i’m reading

|> landonorris: you NEED to update me on these posts before you post them

|> oscarpiastri: he was literally running around the paddock thinking you were mad at him

|> y/n.user: oh no, my baby 🙁🫶

haleypham: i cant wait for your new video :))

|> y/n.user: :))

|> booksfan: Y/N AND HALEY COLLAB????

georgerussell63: how on earth did you take a picture of your phone with your phone…

|> y/n.user: that’s not my phone….

|> georgerussel63: we’ll it isn’t landos?

|> y/n.user: i have other friends besides lando

|> landonorris: *boyfriend*

|> y/n.user: right, he’s also my only boyfriend

readerpop: live, laugh, love, y/n <3

_______________________________________________

liked by: y/n.user, danielricciardo, and 346,015 others

landonorris: my little book worm🫠❤️

view comments…

danielricciardo: what book is she reading, lando?

|> landonorris: i think “the tales of the housewives”?

|> y/n.user: i’m reading THE HANDMAIDS TALE LANDO

|> landonorris: i was close

f1wagsupdates: OUR book worm, actually

landonorris.fanpage: they are too damn cute

carlossainz55: mate, i think she rather read than be with you rn😬

|> landonorris: she said she’s “escaping reality”

|> oscarpiastri: so “escaping you”

|> landonorris: what

|> y/n.user: THATS NOT TRUE, STOP STRESSING HIM OUT

formula1.fp: cutest f1 couple

_______________________________________________

liked by: landonorris, des.sidster, and 251,947 others

tagged: haleypham

y/n.user: new video out with haley!! we read, drank wine, played uno, and suffered listening to lando and ryan talk about football🙁

view comments…

haleypham: literally, suffered. but at least we got reading time

|> y/n.user: so true

f1.edits: am i obsessed with the fact that y/n gives us lando snippets? yes, yes i am

|> y/n.fans: just wait, she said a while ago that she’s posting a video from game night with the grid

|> y/n.fp: is that even still happening??

|> y/n.user: mwahahaha, soon

|> y/n.fp: i think i j shit my pants omg

landonorris: everyone go watch my girlfriends new video!! she’s so pretty and cool and awesome and sexy and funny and adorable and etc

|> charles_leclerc: there isn’t a better promotion for this video

|> y/n.user: thanks lando! my boyfriend is also so pretty and cool and awesome and sexy and funny and adorable and etc!

|> landonorris: you think i’m pretty?🥹

|> y/n.user: my pretty boy

|> landonorris: ive passed out

|> maxfewtrell: YOU BROKE MY BSF

_______________________________________________

liked by: y/n.user, carlossainz55, and 401,284 others

landonorris: date nights consist of book shopping, reading, and y/n taking pictures of me in a golf cart!

view comments…

y/n.user: good thing you’re the photographer in this relationship

|> landonorris: and you can read enough for the both of us

f1wags: cuties are being cuties

bookstagram.edits: so y/n has GOOD book taste, i see

alex_albon: i think y/n has an eye with the camera

|> landonorris: don’t lie, alex

|> lilymhe: at least y/n can read

|> y/n.user: GO OFF QUEEN LILY✊

formula1updates: pls pls why are they so sweet, WHY AM I SINGLE

carlossainz55: how did you manage to get a girlfriend who reads and deals with you

|> y/n.user: he offered to buy me books, so i give him gf content

|> carlossainz55: ah yes, this makes sense

|> landonorris: thats not funny

|> y/n.user: hehe

|> landonorris: let’s see how “hehe” that is when i don’t cuddle you tonight and throw ur books away

|> y/n.user: NO MY BOOKS

|> carlossainz55: AHHHAHAHA MATE OMG

|> landonorris:…..cuddles……

|> y/n.user: I MEAN- OH NO I NEED MY CUDDLES

f1xupdate: omg the comments HELP

_______________________________________________

y/n’s instagram story:

seen by: landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 324,048 others

_______________________________________________

liked by: landonorris, saracarrolli, and 399,824 others

y/n.user: “he was sunshine, i was midnight rain” (lando its just a t.s. song lyric i love you.)

view comments…

landonorris: i love you more☺️

taylorswift: you guys are adorable! i wish you nothing but happiness and love <3

|> y/n.user: TAYLOR!? OMG YAYWBFLWNR KENT FI CSMT OWKFKS HELP DIDKSD OMGBRODK

|> pierregasly: uh oh, taylor broke y/n….

|> des.sidster: OMG Y/N TAYLOR AHHHHHHHH

|> y/n.user: IK AHHHHHH WKEKDOSK IABRFKDJE

|> maxverstappen1: lando. your girlfriend is glitching

|> landonorris: she’s sobbing in my arms, she’s more than glitching, mate

f1.edits: i am LIVING for taylor being here

y/nxlando.fans: where did taylor, mother, come from?

y/n.user: GUYS TAYLOR FOLLOWED ME. TAYLOR ILY AND I HATE JAKE GRRRR JAKE

|> arthur_leclerc: GRRR?????

|> olliebearman: i get it

_______________________________________________

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[hyperfixiation-station]

I really like digging into details, and I was thinking that maybe you can make a list of hcs of Simon in a fight? Don’t spare your words I really think it’s interest your view of him 🥰

CW: Mentions of abuse, sa, addiction, canon typical violence So I wasn’t 100% what you were looking for so I decided to go for both him fighting in a professional setting (ie. training/sparring), and also in public(ie. bar fights). Also, this got way longer than I intended so sorry about that. I hope you like it :)) Also sorry for how aggressive this starts out lol And, as always, this is not edited so please let me know if there are any mistakes :3

First off, I do not agree with the whole oH he’S iN tHe miLiTarY, he HaS tO kEeP hIs CoOl sentiment. This is not a true statement, for anyone in the military.(I am willing to explain this if anyone has questions) Ghost isn’t going to get kicked out because he has anger issues. Not to mention that he is a part of a highly specialized group, the rules are much more lax. However he doesn’t really need to worry about it, because he doesn't go around picking fights. 

Like I said in my previous post, he spent his childhood being abused, he does not take pleasure in physically hurting those weaker than him. He would not hurt new recruits, civilians, or his squadmates. In fact, the only times he will physically fight people outside of work is if they start it. (ie. people threatening him and his, men who won’t leave women alone at bars, and one time a guy he saw kicking a dog) 

Now don’t get me wrong, he has major anger issues, but he has a handle on them, for the most part. He is not going to fight a recruit because they are mouthing off. He might pit them against Gaz to humble them a bit, but again, he does not take pleasure in hurting those weaker than him. 

In a fight, he is ruthless and efficient. It's rare for him to draw out a fight, and only when he is trying to make the target suffer.

He uses his height and muscle mass against his opponents, 9/10 being able to overpower them with sheer force.

He loves knives, collects them actually. The action of slamming a blade up to the hilt in someone's neck is muscle memory for him.

He taunts his opponents, throwing them off their game by lashing out at their insecurities. (Or telling really bad jokes if he's sparring with Soap)

He doesn't like fighting, but he knows he can never stop. Since the moment he was born he's been fighting. It's in his blood and he knows it. The euphoria he feels when he leaves the battlefield or the ring scares him. He's worried that one day he is going to take his bloodlust home.

Okay now onto professional/work-endorsed fight hc’s

This man is not afraid to throw hands. He is 6’2 and 220 pounds of pure muscle. In hand-to-hand combat, he could take pretty much anyone on and win, and everybody knows it.(Think Prison Break. Ghost went out with a knife and a pistol and took out a buttload of Shadows with just Soap guiding him from the cameras.) Any mission that is Close Quarters Combat, Ghost is sent in. 

He has fought a recruit once. It took him about 10 seconds to pin the kid, and another 10 seconds for him to tell Price he was never training a recruit like that again. (tbh I don’t think that the 141 trains new recruits, but for the sake of getting my point across I am going to hc it.)

Soap and Price are the only ones he is willing to spar with. While Soap is much shorter, he has muscle that rivals Ghost’s and can hold his own pretty well. Gaz asked to spar once but Ghost refused. Although Gaz is close to him in height, he is far too skinny for Ghost to feel okay with fighting. 

Soap is agile and intelligent, landing heavy and precise blows before darting out of reach, but is too hot-headed and doesn’t think through his movements half-the time. Ghost is good at reading people, and he knows when to bait Soap and tire him out, and when he needs to take control of the situation. 

Ghost studies Soap’s (or any of his opponents really) body with a warrior's mind. In training, when they are clad in gym shorts and a T-shirt, he can tell which way the Scotsman is going to lunge just based on the way his muscles tense. In the field it is a bit harder, his targets usually clad from head to toe, hiding and protecting their bodies, but there are still signs. Just a twitch of the eye or a shift in weight are enough to give him the upper hand. As any child that is a product of a dysfunctional home can attest, he grew up watching these signs in his father, it wasn't too hard to translate those survival skills from childhood to military life. 

If they end up training recruits, Price will have them line up and watch as Soap and Ghost go at it. Ghost enjoys that fear in their eyes when he grabs Johnny's wrist and yanks down, uses his free hand to push the opposite shoulder back, and sweeps his legs out from under him all in one swift move. The collective oooooh from the greenies, and the sight of Soap gasping for breath makes him almost smile. He actually does smile when he watches Soap pull it on Gaz a week later. (It takes Soap exactly 3 tries to figure out how to avoid Ghost when he tries to pull it, and another 3 for him to try it on Gaz and get it right). 

Price, and eventually Soap, can always tell when Ghost needs an outlet for his pent-up anger. When he gets mouthy one of them will take him to the mats and spar until they’re both exhausted and soaked in sweat. 

In the field it is a lot less fun and games. There is no subduing or tap outs, it is kill or be killed. Gaz understands why Ghost refuses to spar with him after he’s sent on a mission with him and watches in almost awe as the man lives up to his legend and comes out victorious in a 4v1. Banged up and in need of medical care, but victorious. 

Now onto the public

Honestly I don’t think adult Ghost gets into too many fights outside of work. Teen Ghost got into fights all the time, but adult Ghost has a better handle. However when he does get into a fight, it’s usually his fault, because he provoked the person into swinging. He has a way with words, a terrifying ability to pick out a person's insecurities and use them against them. He rips into people's emotions, and when most of the public places he frequents are bars, his targets are easily riled up. He doesn’t necessarily go looking for fights, he just enjoys pissing people off. 

Like I’ve said before, Ghost is not a heavy drinker. He was surrounded by addicts his whole life, he knows what alcohol and drugs can do to a person. He would never drink himself to the point of oblivion. He may have a drink or two when he and Johnny go out to the bar, might even let himself get a little tipsy if the squad is celebrating something huge, but he never gets drunk to the point where he can’t function. Because of this, any fight he gets into in a bar is resolved within seconds. One solid punch to the jaw, and the drunken asshole pawing at some young girl drops to the floor. A person who can’t even stand up straight has no chance against a member of Special Forces. 

He doesn’t take cheap shots. He’s not gonna kick a guy when they’re down. Once his opponent hits the ground, he stops. He very rarely loses control and just keeps going. 

He has been in a couple of bar fights, one time he took a bottle of alcohol to the head and had a hard time trying to explain to Price why he was given 15 stitches and a week's medical leave.(Not that he took it)

Sorry there's not a lot for this one. I just don’t see adult Simon getting into that many unwarranted fights. He will fuck a guy up if he’s harassing you, or any woman for that matter, he’ll step in if someone gets too rowdy at the bar, if they swing he’ll swing back, and he does not respond to threats against him and his very well,  but things like that really don’t happen to often in his way of life. 

Fight club(sorry I just keep going 😅😭)

This is a bit ooc, but I thought it was fun nonetheless

Soap takes him to a fight club once, just to watch, but Ghost is enthralled. Soap comes back from getting pretzels to an empty bench. He panics for a second before his gaze moves to the ring, where Ghost stands in a t-shirt and shorts, a plain balaclava hiding his face. Soap makes a lot of money that night. 

Ghost finds a new pass-time in this ‘fight-club’ that Soap showed him. It’s a great way to release pent-up energy when he is on leave, and he always leaves feeling relaxed and less volatile. 

When the memories and nightmares get too much for him, he goes and pounds it out in the ring. He finds  a man of his size and skill, and they become sparring partners almost every time.. Despite the broken ribs, he leaves feelings much happier. Price, however, is not when he hears that Ghost will be out of commission for at least a month. 

He goes by the nickname Reaper. (He let Soap pick it out, and regrets that decision deeply)

He enjoys the fight club almost more than he enjoys sparring with Soap. He enjoys being able to fight for fun rather than survival. The anonymity he’s allowed and the money that comes from winning is a nice bonus.

He still keeps to himself, declining his opponents/partners attempts to get a phone number or offers to grab a drink. 

If he’s married, you notice that he’s not quite as harsh when he gets back from deployments as he used to be. Though you don’t like his bruised knuckles and bloody noses, if this is what helps him process his trauma then so be it.

He takes you sometimes, to watch. You like watching him win, like the way the clothes cling to his muscled frame, but the sight of his face getting punched in is one you'd rather never see again.

They offer self-defense classes, and he signs you up. He had already taught you some self-defense tips, where to aim and how to hit in the even of an emergency, but he'd rather you have someone to practice with so you know what to do.

Extra(aka sad stuff)

I know that Ghost is not superhuman or immortal, but this man is a beast. He survived an abusive childhood, being kidnapped, tortured, assaulted, and the massacre of his whole family. He can fight through incredible amounts of pain, and is ruthless and blood thirsty. In a life or death situation, all morals go out the window, and he will do what it takes to survive. He’s not proud of it. 

When he holds his newborn son for the first time he almost panics. The fragile baby body feels wrong in his scarred, war-torn hands. He sits on the bed for a long time after you take the baby to put him down, just staring at his hands. His fingers curl and uncurl in his palm as he tries to get the image of crushing his baby's fragile skull like he's crushed the throats of his enemies out of his head. It takes hours for the feeling of blood to fade from his skin.

Anywayyys, I hope this is what you were looking for, and again, sorry for the length 😅 Let me know what you think and/or if you want more headcannons in the future :))

[tavyliasin]

The Abdirak Essay - Fandom, Pain, and Loviatar's Love

Another day, another Lia Essay - and if you're really really deliciously sinful my very dear darlings, I shall give you yet more when the sun rises again upon the morrow. So, today in Niche Fandom Adoration Hours, I give you:

For The Love of Loviatar: Why Discomfort Can Be Delightful, How Agony Alleviates Anguish, and All The Ways Abdirak Fans Are Also TavyliaSin's Very Favourite People (Who Also Probably Need A Hug) ((Do We Love The Long Titles?)) (((If No, Consider This Essay Title Part Of Your Penitance)))

The themes of this essay will discuss: BDSM, Kink, Chronic Pain, wounds/injury, Acute Pain, Mental Health, mentions of harmful behaviours, a discussion of psychological elements from someone with absolutely no formal training or experience, vague mentions of trauma, and the magic of friendship. So please make sure you are in a comfortable place within yourself if you feel any of the above might be difficult to read for any reason. It is ok to skip sections as each has a topic header, or you can leave at any time. Nobody is judging you for that at all. Additionally, NSFW discussion further through, so minors DNI as usual. Very little of my blog will ever be suitable for under 18s, for your safety and for mine. Editing in to add a link to the Abdirak fandom gift to chronic pain pals A Cameo from Declan (Abdirak's Performer) (Fully SFW)

All that said, the main theme of this piece is actually:

To truly understand suffering is to avoid being its cause.

So, let's understand what "Suffering" is first, shall we, Dear Ones?

The Difference between Pain and Suffering

Lia hasn't completely lost the plot darlings, the two words may seem almost interchangeable but they are not. At the very least, this is the interpretation I have and the discussion that follows will stick with it too~ Pain is the sensation itself, whether physical or mental, it is the hurt, the bruise pressed upon, the moment a heart breaks. That is pain. Suffering on the other hand, is the effect that the pain has. It is the anguish, the torment, the overwhelm and the exhaustion. So, whilst two people might have the same pain, let's say a stubbed toe for a simple example, their suffering might be very different. One might feel able to walk it off, maybe swear a little and move on. Another might need to sit immediately, feel tears in their eyes, or even become utterly overcome by misery from the intense sensation. This might sound like a difference in tolerance, but it can also be seen as taking the bigger picture into account. One brick might not feel so heavy to someone with empty hands, but added to a pile of bricks already carried it may feel as if it weighs a dozen times as much.

What about Abdirak? How does he relate to Pain and Suffering?

When I first heard Abdirak speak, I knew he understood this concept to its very core. His goddess wants pain, but in himself he does not seem to want actual suffering. He does draw a different line, with pain being physical and suffering being the mental aspect, however the principles are very close to my own. Some people might see Abdirak and judge him as cruel, as a torturer delighting in anguish, but that could not be further from the truth. When he speaks of delivering pain with a loving hand, that really is meant. When he was speaking to the player character, for a moment I felt so intensely seen when he speaks of seeing a greater suffering.

"Forgive me, but that look in your eyes - something terrible has happened to you. ...I see those same eyes when I look in the mirror, dear one."

This, to me, was such a moment. He recognises trauma easily, and we also have this chance here to either interpret this as "oh, right, the tadpole stuff, the things in the game" or we can allow our own feelings about a player character's backstory as the interpretation of what he has seen. Either way, he immediately offers to alleviate that suffering with pain, something he is familiar with, something he knows to help from personal experience. There's the important point. His motivation is not to cause hurt, but to relieve it.

How does pain make anything better?

Deep breaths loves we're getting to the heart of a few things here and it may get heavy. At the most basic broken down level, right at the bottom of everything, it's about distraction. Pain is instant, sharp, a sensation that draws our nerves tight and fires off that electricity directly into our brains. It takes our attention and focus away from whatever else is on our minds. Usually? This would be detrimental, to be unable to concentrate on something because pain is intruding. However, think back here, "delivered with a loving and measured hand." This is precise pain, sensation that is welcomed and applied with expert care in order to reach that point right between where pain is suffering and where it cuts out the thoughts. BDSM darlings will know this as similar to "subspace" which I will discuss later~ Whilst there is some short term benefit to using strong sensation to distract the mind and alleviate intense distress, if taken into real life scenarios there are a lot of things to consider, and it is far better to speak with a therapist. Though the most commonly suggested low-harm methods can be things like gripping an ice cube for a minute or two, or even something like exercise that can push the mind to focus on the body instead of the source of the distress. The element of penance is also there. Abdirak brings to the fore those thoughts of struggle and guilt, so those are the thoughts that are stripped back by the physical pain. It's intentional, careful, and taps at the other core of using pain to alleviate suffering.

Why we love Abdirak, and the importance of recognising the weight of unwarranted guilt.

Remember my little villain essay? Back then I spoke of how a love for villains can also come from the way we are prone to judge ourselves unfairly, to heap undeserved guilt at our own feet, and to believe every slight mistake to be a heinous sin. Sorry, darlings, the only heinous "sin" you are allowed to believe in is me. Name puns aside... Part of the draw is indeed right there, believing ourselves deserving of punishment it's appealing to want to submit to that and find absolution from everything we judge ourselves for. And yet, it isn't a horrific thing, it's coloured by love and affection. The Love of Loviatar from Abdirak does not ignore that first part. But I do encourage you, if you are feeling particularly called out right now, to stop seeking punishment for things that are objectively not your fault, and instead treat yourself with kindness and forgiveness. By all means continue to indulge in our beloved priest of Pain and the joy he brings, but do so without any negative self-assessment, alright? Good, I'm glad we agre- THAT MEANS ALL OF YOU. No exceptions.

And what of the Fandom?

Ahh Abdirak fandom. Small, loving, welcoming, and utterly devoted~ Similarly to villain fandom (Abdirak is obviously not a villain, but is arguably villain-coded), his fandom also draws a lot of kindness and understanding. Despite how we might see ourselves, we are remarkably free from judgement in how we treat each other. There's endless encouragement, genuine warmth, and alongside spicy takes that might make lava look like a suitable spot for ice fishing there's a profound amount of respect and consent. By which I mean, there's no shame. There's no allowance for "I hate that character you like", or "that kink is bad because I don't like it". Tags and CWs are applied to posts and works with care and nobody is treated poorly for enjoying what (or who) they enjoy in the fictional space. To go back to the quote at the start of this essay, "to truly understand suffering is to avoid being its cause." I feel the vast majority of us have that depth of insight and recognition for suffering and have the empathy required to wish to avoid it. And that is why I would perhaps feel safest in the company of Abdirak fans (and likewise Raphael fans), there's another level of connection in those tadpoles~ Which leads me neatly forwards to...

Endurance: Abdirak and Chronic Pain Sufferers

Here, loves, we're going to get a bit more personal. Those of us with chronic pain conditions may find an even deeper connection. So I'll go over a little for those who are fortunate enough to not have personal experience here: Chronic Pain - This applies to pain which is constant or frequently recurring, that lasts (and/or is expected to last) for more than 3 months. It's not like a broken bone that heals and has an end, it's not like a few headaches that come and go with little consequence, it is either always present or always on the edge of flaring up at any time. It's different to acute pain, because most conditions have no cure, many barely have any treatment so all one can do is try to endure the worst of it. The other side-symptoms can be reduction in physical ability, exhaustion, mental health difficulties (because for some odd reason constant pain is not a path to happiness), low self esteem, and of course carrying the guilt of feeling like a burden if you need help from others (you are not a burden, and anyone who says so can receive the blessing of forever feeling like there is a stone in their shoe that they cannot find). As an aside, this can apply to chronic mental health struggles too - it is still pain, only a different kind. Though I will be looking primarily at physical pain here, as that's where Abdirak's focus is. Now, where are we going with this? The difference here is in how pain is treated. Abdirak speaks of pain as a wonderful thing, as something that is sought after, that is a way of worshipping Loviatar. This is something that might feel strange to someone who is plagued by pain, but there's another quote I'd like us to remember.

"Pain without purpose is a terrible thing, wouldn't you agree?"

Chronic pain has no purpose. It's there whether by illness or injury, or some other unseen cause. It was not a choice, it doesn't bring any relief, and often it drags us right down with it.

"Please let me alleviate this pain."

And there's another line, one we wish we could hear, one we wish so very deeply in the core of our being that we could believe. That there could be someone who could bring an end to the pain even if only for a brief time, a fleeting hope of relief.

How fanworks can be a means of coping with chronic pain.

So here's the next point... What in all the hells do I mean, how can fanworks help a single thing? Well, have some personal moments. I had a deeply unpleasant flare up the other night, so I put out a brief ask to writing groups for some comforting fiction shorts. In the past, I've written a few myself - like these: Abdirak - Migraine Comfort Yurgir - Migraine Comfort Tav - General Comfort, with Audio Multi-Character Comfort Drabbles (Including Abdirak) Full AO3 fic of Abdirak x Chronic Pain Reader (Spicy, NSFW)

These are the two I received from some writers very dear to my heart who have more talent and skill than I could ever hope to aspire to in their works. Elfvamp (who does not have tumblr) (image description is attached to the image)

and this one from @morb-untamed

Darlings, when I tell you there were tears in my eyes at these, I mean it. THIS is just an example of the understanding and compassion possible in the community, the care and consideration, and the emotion that words can carry through them that make things genuinely feel more bearable in the moment of distress. Both captured something that it took me too long to realise. Perhaps what follows might sound entirely unreasonable or unhinged, but for someone like myself who has not known a single second of what "0%" feels like in over 10 years, it's beginning to seem far more sane by the moment. What if, within the confines of my mind, I try to rewrite the understanding of pain as something different. Just tell myself each new pain is an offering to some vile deity who has decided my mortal vessel is worthy of enduring, rather than one that is being punished with suffering. Breathe through it and listen to those character voices, find my own purpose to the pain. Let it become inspiration, note it down, get that visceral and intimate knowledge to the page instead. Naturally, this probably isn't a healthy coping mechanism, nor one that is infallible, but there have been moments recently where thinking that has made the moderate levels less distressing, easier to tolerate for a time. Perhaps it could do the same for you, but perhaps not, either way - it is there. Please do read through the comfort pieces too, and if you would like to see more - even ones with more specific aims and pains, please do just ask and I will make them happen. Either through my ask box, or in comments/reblogs, or any other way you wish to contact me honestly.

Alright, Tavylia, we've covered personal pain, but you promised NSFW discussion!

Oh my very dear darlings I had not forgotten this part~ You may here people talk about "good pain" and "bad pain", and wonder how/why pain can ever be good. It's not just about a physical hurt sensation or using that as a distraction. Pain can cause a rush of adrenaline, and even endorphins - similar to how people enjoy extreme sports, horror films, or theme parks, it's a pleasant feeling from something that would usually be scary, because it's safe and controlled. Falling from a high place? That's terrifying, dangerous. Parachuting safely from that same high place? It's controlled, there's no real danger, but the feeling of danger brings that adrenaline rush. There's the key. In real life BDSM there is control in the safe signal, in knowing it can and will stop when needed, that although there is someone causing pain they will stop at a moment's notice. (Anyone who does not respect a safe word/signal is not someone you should be in that situation with, if you are engaging in or want to try BDSM with real partners please PLEASE do your research on safety, that's too long a lecture to add here) In the context of fiction, we can go a lot further. Could a real person easily withstand Abdirak hitting them with an axe in their back? Obviously not, that's far too much. But this is a world with magical healing, and our fantasy and fiction is quite safe to extend where we find is interesting. So when reading - and especially writing - with pain and pain play, I encourage you to remember these links to adrenaline, endorphins, and that it isn't about harm, it's far deeper, and finding an understanding of that (even if you never wish to experience it) might be of some benefit to understanding those around you who have this intimate relationship with pain.

A title for the End

I think I've covered a lot here, but I do just want to round us off now. If you have any questions about this topic (or any of my other essay posts), please do feel free to ask - that's why my box is there, for all kinds of discussions to open up. Not just for smut and creative writing, but for all the ways we connect with fiction and characters. There is so much more than a single story being told, each of us experiences it through the lens of our own experience, we all find our connections in different ways, and I will have more character essays on this later. There's so much more to see, to learn, from all the interpretations throughout the fandom. I'm very grateful to be here to witness it, and for you being here to share in these thoughts and explore them more with me. Pain can teach us many things, about ourselves and others. Empathy, kindness, compassion - when we know how much we need them ourselves, we begin to see how much others may need it too. Much like how Abdirak sees the pain behind the player character's eyes, and feels that strong desire to help in the ways he knows how.

A Final Note for the Pain Pals

To my Chronic Pain Pals, darlings you do not always have to be strong. It's alright. It will not break you entirely to let go of that incessant need to try and quietly endure. Find those places it is safe to let it out, look for those tricks you can use on your brain to make Loviatar's Favour just a little more bearable. You are worthy of kindness, support, and compassion. The same you are likely giving of yourself to everyone else. You are not a burden, these are pains you do not choose, and you deserve something more gentle without any guilt attached to it. You are also not alone, find community, find those who understand.

Pain without purpose...but have we given it one now?

So I hope this time the pain has had a purpose in teaching, in helping us connect in new ways, to find compassion and understanding. Until next time, Dear Ones, look after yourselves.

Oh hey look I know who made that gif that came up in the search~ What an absolutely wonderful coincidence ;) (And a final final footnote, hello Abdirak fan community, you are perfect and I wish you nothing but the best in all things)

[unsettlingcreature]

RIGHT OK SO thoughts. i have them.

MINRATHOUS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. MINRATHOUS!!!!

It's beautiful. I want to see more of Minrathous and Tevinter in general, I am SO excited for the environments and buildings and- (muffled screaming).

Also Minrathous? Do you know who else might be in Minrathous? 🥺🥺🥺 i'm sorry i just want to see dorian again. But also, I hope we'll see Maevaris too! So badly!

edit: actually, I realised what the started segment where you run through the city with demons Fucking Shit up reminds me of! The scene in Origins where you are running across the bridge to get to the beacon at the battle of Ostagar! Having to ignore the carnage around you as you push forwards because the end goal is ultimately more important...

I love that we get a background for our Rook that seems to actually come up outside of the rare dialogue option. And speaking of dialogue, I like that we're keeping the dialogue wheel with contextual icons! I'm not a massive fan of the UI but it's by no means bad.

As they walked through the streets of Minrathous, I was for some reason reminded of Assassin's Creed. But once combat began, I was reminded of Shadow of Mordor...? I think it was the switching between blade and bow.

I can already tell that the combat is not really my thing. I'll cope. I'll suffer through it. I will say that it looks very fluid and makes me hope that we'll get a similar flow of combat (for rogues at least) similar to DA2 (which I think has the best dual-wielding combat of the three games imo). I'll probably still pick a mage for my first playthrough but rogues are tempting me.

The warning lines for ranged attacks is... interesting! I've seen something similar in a few games and it'll definitely make dodging a lot easier to figure out timings, even if I personally hate dodge-heavy combat. Again, I'll cope.

The music... oh my god, it's beautiful. As they approached the ritual site, you could hear the same motifs that were present in the Tresspasser's soundtrack (specifically Dark Solas Theme) (I go feral whenever I hear those strings btw). Very excited by the music, even the song that was present for the countdown before it started was beautiful!

Some of the dialogue was a bit... quippy. It was way better than the character reveal though. For the most part, it felt fine but then now and then I'd pull a face at a cheesy line or the odd sentence that felt stilted to me.

I didn't realise Neve was an amputee! I love the stylised prosthetic. I definitely need to get around to reading the comics.

The new direction with demons is interesting. They seem to be going more wraith-like, with even the pride demon no longer have legs and just kind of floating. The fiery dog-like are what I assume are meant to be rage demons? I actually love them, far more than the weird blobby things we've seen in past games.

The facial expressions are very good. Definitely not having the same issue as ME:A. Honestly, the animation in general is brilliant. I enjoyed watching Rook dart about during combat and his movement was very fun.

Whenever the pride demon teleported away just as Rook went to strike, I kept thinking "nah that would piss me off so much".

Seeing Varric approach Solas, I was like haha wow, imagine if they killed off Varric really early on in the game. I don't think Bioware would but it did genuinely put me on edge for a moment. Destroying Bianca though... Nah, somehow that's worse. Where's he going to get another one? :(

Also, hi Venatori! You're still around after ten years? Fucking hell, you'd think they'd have given up considering Corypheus was dunked on over a decade ago. Learn to take the L.

Finally, that shout from Solas as the ritual was disrupted... I think it's the angriest I've heard him, at least put against how he was in Inquisition. Also are we going to talk about the purple eyes? I think I'd like to talk about the purple eyes. Solas could get it. WHAAAAAT WHO SAID THATTTTT, THAT'S WILDDDDDDD...

[thewalrus-said]

Tagged by @brigdh!

Last song: Last full song was "Dance, Dance" by Fall Out Boy, but I was in the middle of "Misery Business" by Paramore when I got home.

Favourite colour: Purple theoretically, blue practically

Last Book: In the middle of Murder on the Rockport Limited, because I wanted to reread the first few TAZ graphic novels to see if they'll be okay for my niece's fifteenth birthday, and also I want to reread them before Suffering Game comes out in...June? *googles* July. I can tell from the cover that it's gonna fuck me up and I am so ready, frankly.

Last Movie: Oh god, I don't remember, but just running the probabilities it was likely Fatal Journey, the Untamed spin-off movie about the Nie brothers.

Last TV Show: As above, so below: I'm rewatching The Untamed, ostensibly for the purposes of copy-editing the subtitles but mainly because I'm still in the phase of fandom obsession where I need to Inhale all the Content as often as I can physically stand.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I'm gonna be up-front with you, I can call sweet and spicy to mind, but if you asked me to define 'savory' or give examples of savory food, I would absolutely draw a blank and maybe start crying. So I can't answer this question sldkfjslkdjf

Relationship status: "it's complicated" with fictional character Nie Huaisang

Last thing i googled: The release date for Suffering Game :D

Current obsession(s): MDZS, specifically Nie Huaisang, specifically all the possible situations and machinations that could result in him doing ungodly things with Lan Xichen.

Looking Forward To: A couple of times a day @socksolotl will gently feed me snippets of her upcoming megalongfic like I am a baby bird, and I am always in some sort of quantum state of looking forward to the next. Also, @incandescentantelope is reading TGCF for the first time and I am also always in some sort of quantum state of looking forward to her distressed livetexting.

tag 9 people: @socksolotl @incandescentantelope @luka-button @lexicaldreamer @theliteraryluggage @jewishvitya @findingschmomo @dreamclock @thedreadpiratematt (only if you want to!)

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

How could you translate Katniss' internal thoughts to screen?

If you become the screenwriter for the new adaptation, what would you do?

Are there any movies or tv series which have good example of this type of narration?

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

Oh tough question @curiousnonny. I've literally been sitting on this one for at least a year because I've been trying to figure out how the heck I would translate more of her internal thoughts to the screen. I will say this...

I have such mixed feelings about what Gary Ross and company decided to do for the films. I get why they did it, but man did it suck at times. What I mean by that is, they turned Katniss and Peeta into The Watson character. By that, I mean that in the original Sherlock Holmes stories, Watson's role was primarily to ask questions and doubt Sherlock's theories in order to give Sherlock a chance to explain what happened and show off his so called "genius."

Haymitch has to explain certain things about the Games to Katniss and Peeta that, in the books, THEY ALREADY KNOW because they live in this world and are not idiots. And the thing is, the movies showed that the film makers DID grasp the concept of how to show us a little and trust the audience to figure out the rest. Gale's thirty second rant in the woods about "What if everyone just stopped watching... It's sick. You root for your favorites and cry when they die" (paraphrase). Movie!Gale tells us something about the Games that we get from Katniss's internal thoughts in the books. And that is that while the districts hate the Games...they partake in them. Katniss tells us about how people in 12 ENGAGE in the betting. It's become a cultural thing so that even though there are people who know the tributes, even though it might one day be you or your sweetheart or your child in the arena, the Games are STILL treated as a form of entertainment on some level...even in the districts. And Katniss knows this, which the movie shows when she tells Gale "That'll never happen" (another paraphrase).

There's also the odds board that we see very briefly in the Capitol. Now we the audience know, just from those handful of seconds, that there's wagering on the Games, without Katniss telling us. More brief scenes like that would help with the world building.

Which leads me to... it works better as a tv series. It's written by a television writer and the story is blocked and paced like a tv series. And I cannot believe that I am saying this, knowing that it winds up being so hated by so many of the fans by the final season, but Game of Thrones the tv series, at least in the first season, did a phenomenal job of translating an entire book to screen. I've only read one book and watched two seasons, so I cannot speak to later seasons/books, but wow. Just... do THAT with The Hunger Games. The added length of a tv series gives you the advantage of more scenes and less of the book being cut out. You have the luxury of included so many of the characters that got cut from the movies, which all of that will naturally bring more of Katniss's thoughts and feelings, and understanding of her world, to the forefront.

But you can't stop there, you need an actress who, at a rather young age, can tell an entire story in just a few facial expressions to play Katniss. Not to bash Jennifer Lawrence because there were some parts of her portrayal of Katniss that were excellent, but I felt like her acting was hit or miss sometimes, and at others her portrayal suffered because of both the script and the editing. Sorry not sorry. So casting is key to bringing her internal thoughts to life through acting.

From there, I hate to say it, but at some point, you do have to trust your audience to be able to pick up on things. I think you do need to include a few flashbacks, but you can slow roll them. Show us Peeta giving her the bread in flashback then cut back to Katniss on stage looking slightly horrified and confused. Peeta's trying to talk to her on the train, return to the flashback and show his mother hitting him. Let current Katniss show just a flicker of guilt followed by slight annoyance and determination. You can even keep the flashback silent, if you want. Peeta's helping clean up drunk, vomit covered Haymitch and tells Katniss that he doesn't need her help and doesn't want the Capitol attendants. In her train compartment, Katniss shows us the whole thing, starting with her Mom being nonresponsive, an emaciated Prim, a picture of her father on the mantle with the black ribbon over it and a picture of the whole family next to it. Ah yes. Audience can now deduce that Katniss's father is gone and Mom's a wreck, the family is falling apart. Then give us the sound. Katniss pawing through the trash, Mrs. Mellark screaming at her, and the gift of the bread. Your audience is smart enough to take it from there.

You'd have to give us the dandelion part later on, too, but I actually think you could work that in somehow during the arena. Have Katniss find some dandelions after the girl from 8 dies. She can stare at them, cut to the flashback of the day after the bread. K&P share a look and then end it. She sees the dandelion. Prim can mention the bread, causing Katniss to look away from the dandelion, maybe ask how Katniss got it, and then Katniss goes into the woods to gather dandelions for her family to eat. Cut back to Katniss in the arena, confusion playing on her face until she remembers she's on camera and drops the mask back down. There is so much that can be done with one second of emotion that quickly changes to something else in this situation, and while they did manage some of that with Jennifer Lawrence, I don't think they used the technique to its full advantage.

The problem is that the movies were inconsistent with how they handled this problem of translating what Katniss tells us/says to us onto the screen. At times, they spoon fed us too much and did it in the form of spoon feeding information to Katniss and Peeta that they would've already known, making our protagonists look like idiots. At other times, like with the bread flashback, they didn't give us enough, so we don't understand the stakes and the significance of that moment. Fix the inconsistencies, and I actually think they were kind of on the right track with the movies, they just didn't follow through completely or effectively.

[rosieblogstuff]

This might be too many but, for the MacGyver ask game:

4, 7, 15, 16, & 18?

(:

There's no such thing as too many. 😂 It's just a matter of how long it'll take me to write something for all of them. But here goes:

Do you have any favorite fandom media you’d like to recommend? (Fic, edits, art, etc.)

Hooooo boy, am I ever bad at picking a favorite of anything and sticking with my opinion the next time I come across something shiny. Has anybody not read Turkey Day yet? Everybody's surely read it. If anyone hasn't they should immediately run over to AO3 right now.

How did you discover the show?

It was October 2021 and I was suffering Peak Pandemic Loneliness. Friday night I watched a couple episodes of The Americans because one of my writing forums was having a big plotting discussion about it. I love spy shows generally and I really enjoyed The Americans the first time through but it was just NOT the mood I was in right then, it was too dark and too bleak. So at the end of episode 2 Amazon popped up a list of “also recommends” stuff and there was the MacGyver reboot, first thing on the list. I loved OG MacGyver, watched it after school and in the summers as a kid, there are episodes I managed to see enough at a time when you were stuck watching whatever the TV wanted to show you that I could easily recall major plot points and characters like 30ish years later BUT. I hadn’t seen the reboot because I’d seen friends panning it on Facebook when it came out. (I’m sure I’ve posted Rosie’s Theory of Why Middle Aged White Guys Hated MacGyver 2016 before. But I didn’t realize it at the time.) So I thought to myself, well I’m already in a bad mood and bored, why not watch something crappy that I’ll probably hate? and started up 1x01.

Obviously that did NOT go as anticipated because 1x01 is really a pretty awesome pilot episode and I enjoyed it enough to immediately start up episode 2, and by the end of episode 2 I was in love with the whole thing. Like, obsessively in love with it in a way I rarely get. I stayed up until 2am watching the first 5 eps in a row.

Have you learned any Mac Hacks?

Oh definitely, although I’ll admit my favorite (and most useful) Mac Hack of all time is from MacGyver 1985: the time OG Mac magnetized an iron pole by hitting it in the same way over and over, a trick that can also be used to magnetize a screwdriver. A few months ago I accidentally locked a door at the youth group where I volunteer. No one had a key and we really needed to get back into the room, and I got it open by user-testing an idea I’d come up with for a fanfic. 

What’s your favorite cold open?

Definitely 1x12, the truth serum cold open. The 1x02 North Korea escape is also pretty high on my list of favorites. 

If you could wish an episode tag/missing scene fic into existence, which episode would you choose?

Jack taking Mac to Texas to meet his family. We got a family/backstory episode for Riley, Bozer, even Desi, but we have to headcanon basically everything about Jack’s family.

[kozykricket]

knight ramblings

alright so, im watching this video on how theres not only one knight, and going in im like. YEAYEA everyone is "the knight" for their own reason... and im only 3 minutes in and. well, the stuff talked about gets me thinking, and i pause at 3:27-ish and... i comment this: oh my god its gonna be the WILL of the knight is probably the only thing they know. she was GUESSING based off the knights ACTIONS of creating a dark fountain (and thus their will, their desire to delve into fiction) ...that they want more. that they desperately need even more escapism taken literally, this is a computer seeing someone reach out to them as a form of escapism and being like "this person WANTS to spend ALL of their lifetime enveloped in fiction." aka they must clearly want the world enveloped in darkness... heck maybe the will of the knight ends up... having the knights desires be given to the darkners, and their desire is . that theyre sick of the light world and the way it treats them. that they subconsciously DO want the roaring, even if they dont know its the roaring. they want more fantasy

and also... re-reading queens monologue during her fight... (also thanks to the video) soon the world will be covered in darkness... and then no one will have to suffer THATS OKAY YES I KNOW ITS VERY OBVIOUS WE ALREADY KNEW DELTARUNE WAS PLAYING WITH ESCAPISM AND FICTION BUT LIKE GOD "NO ONE WILL HAVE TO SUFFER" is SO on the nose how didnt i think of that its. when you just step back and look at the narrative as "this is toby tryna tell a story about how fiction can be great, but it can be dangerous to just get absorbed solely in the world of fiction." "also hey what if the fiction you get absorbed in... was sentient and actually believes you want or need more, to stop your suffering..." like honestly. thats a more innocent take on the messed up way tech companies design social media. like. oh, you need MORE distractions to be fed your way... so that you need not suffer. we will bring you all the comfort of never having to face the real world.

these are all just.. toys, games, and other things, that see our desire to escape from the real world using them... and who will gladly accept that role. but end up tryna take it too far when they try to fulfill our subconscious desires to stay enveloped in fiction. one can argue that since King doesn't believe in serving lightners, this falls apart... but still, maybe he... sees the knight as a Special lightner, and . thinks that the other lightners are those who dont want to "play" who just want to cast them all away. and THATS why hes against serving them. because he thinks if hes just a temporary escape for them (one to be thrown away when we're done with him, like a card game) ...then well, ofc he doesnt trust lightners. but someone who wants to just... not live in reality, and live in a world like the card kingdom forever? that'd be someone he'd appreciate, and gladly try to help. even if they didnt TELL him that they *wanted* that... maybe its just a thought they, again, subconsciously have and queen takes it in a more innocent way where shes just like oh dam yea lightners r all kinda sad arent they. hm. and hm im gonna continue watching the video, even though they're kinda getting onto a different point about the knight(s) involving how... the king and queen knew each other. hmmm. dont entirely agree? but i still think there are multiple knights, for plenty of reasons. i just think the "agenda to cover the world in darkness" and the name "roaring knight" just come from the will of a lightner who crave escapism. though ...admittedly THAT truly falls apart when you consider queen didnt know what the roaring was. yet still calls them the roaring knight. why would she call them that, unless they specifically called themselves the roaring knight? edit: upon further watching the video, i dont really agree with who they think the knights are exactly... the reasoning feels fairly off however yes alvin will definitely be making a fountain lol i do think its very plausible noelle was the knight in ch2!! if we ignore the uh, knight calling themselves the roaring knight.. but like, i think its REALLY funny to envision. noelle. doesnt know what a dark world even is. but shes just really determined to ... take a break from the stresses of home life. wants to stay at the library. and in some frustration at a question on her homework, she stabs her pencil onto the table. and opens up a fountain. and then berdly and noelle just both kinda forget wtf happened

[veradragonjedi]

✍️ - What is your favourite line or scene from the project? for BBB?

WAAAAAA NOOOO THERE ARE SO MANY TO COUNT 😭

I'm gonna bring my top five I think so far (I know this asks for just one, but ugh I just have so many thoughts in my head)

(Edit: this gets more and more insane as I go down the list. Just. FYI..) OH. And. BBB spoilers under the cut! Please... enjoy <3

*Game Theory voice* NUMBER FIIIIVE

5. Everything about Luke changed, but him. He was solid, rigid, reliable.

UGH I'm a SUCKER for moments when Luke's ever-shifting demeanour, ever-changing self, shape and form, are expressed as they are. Luke is the Force, Luke is a corner of the universe folded, origami-style, into the shape of a human. I'd like to believe that you see the Gaussian blur of motion in his body when he moves. Like he is travelling at supersonic speeds through time and space all day every day and we're all just witnessing him at his slowest.

This works EVEN BETTER when you remember that in BBB Luke is totally covered head to toe, with no part of his skin showing. He is Everything. He is always moving. His cloak is always flowing. His eyes are always shifting.

But, despite all that, the thing that is actually Luke Skywalker, that kindness, that strength, remains the same.

He is rigid, solid, in his compassion, but, physically, spiritually, he is ever changing.

4. A sunless, wicked, beauty.

Din's first thought when he sees Luke for the first time, and WHO can BLAME him!? This is in Chapter 1, The Darkness Brings A Shadow, and it's my blog title over at @blood-blindfolds-and-butterflies :3

I'm obsessed with the imagery of it. Just... in awe. I need to eat it. For a very long era in this fic, Din has no idea what Luke looks like, and every word that he first ever describes Luke as is considered wrong.

Luke is not sunless, though he tries to be. Luke hides behind his veil, behind his cloak, behind the locked doors of his temple, and STILL the sunlight peaks through the cracks of his withered body and overcomes everything around it. (This actually reminds me of another quote I love, see 2. !!!) Luke is also, despite the hardships he's suffered, not wicked. He is kind and selfless, but he doesn't believe it himself. And, lastly, Luke would never in a million years call himself a beauty. Him? Scarred? Torn? A vampire?? Luke has not allowed anyone in the galaxy to call him beautiful in a very long time (that's... the essence of bbb. Being loved for who you are, and finding beauty in the ugly and mundane. So obviously this sentence drives me kriffing nuts.)

Luke can't be beautiful, so Din must be wrong about him from the start. And Luke TRIES desperately to get him to understand that he is WRONG about him, but Din has his heart set on learning about and understanding Luke beyond the first image he caught of him, and it's perfect.

3. ...Din was left nursing a feeling of guilt...

Thanks to my wonderful editor (my dad) the verb 'nursing' is in play here. We spoke about this particular sentence after it was posted and... wow do I have thoughts.

Context: Din has found out that Luke is a vampire, and is feeling guilty because he no-longer feels safe around him, even though he trusts that Luke isn't a threat, and knows that it's a horrible thing he's doing (basing someone's character entirely on their species, especially after he had already formed a good opinion of Luke.)

There are two ways to read the word 'nursing' in this context.

1. Din's opinion of Luke is healing. In this case, the guilt is the disease, the pain, and Din is softening the sting. Din is caring for his sore heart, waiting to confess to Luke that he knows he is a vampire, and also regaining his original position on living with him (wants to do that.)

2. Din's opinion of Luke is dying. In this case, the love, the care, is the pain, and Din is driving it out, all the while "nursing" (taking care of—) the guilt he's formed, and preparing to either leave Luke forever or kill him (does not want to do this, however, his son is now in danger, from his point of view)

2. Effortless kindness was so alien, but Luke left a trace of it in his wake, on the rim of every cup he put his lips to, and in the imprint of his footsteps in the ground.

"The Jedi Code is like an itch..." etc etc... 😭 thank you Kenobi.

LUKE oh god. Back to 4, Luke leaves this unwashable, un-get-rid-able trail of kindness everywhere he walks. Every spoon he's ever put in his mouth, every flower he's ever opened, every time he kisses Din's cheek, lips, knuckles, he leaves a little bit of kindness behind, and that kindness is like a virus.

It spreads, infecting others like Vader and Han. It makes roots, it sinks into the ground, it grows and reaches upward, and when it releases its spores, more kindness springs from the places they land.

Luke's effortless kindness is alien to Din because Din has never experienced it. YES Din was given a home, food, armour, by the Mandalorians, but— he was always going to be younger, weaker, and he had to fight for real respect and love just like everyone did.

Luke loves Din. Luke's kindness toward Din takes him little to no energy at all.

Din is mesmerised.

1. Luke loved the child; Din had made him realise that.

Do I even have to say anything. Yes.

Luke is Grogu's dad as much as Din is, we just never got to really see the two of them connect, and I'm really bitter about it ngl.

In the same paragraph, Luke confesses to Grogu that he does love Din (believing that it is platonic)

They're a family they love each other they're helping each other grow and learn and I am so proud of them all.

Because, Din was never really loved. And, now, he believes that taking love from a man who is struggling so hard to even maintain some left for himself IS selfish and cruel and Din won't do that. Din doesn't want ANYTHING for helping Luke. No money, no favours, absolutely no love in return.

Because love, to Din, is like currency. Love is priceless, and help is so so easy.

Luke believes that accepting help from Din is incredibly selfish and rude, as he can't help in return. All he can give Din is love and friendship, and even then, its easier telling Grogu that he loves Din, rather than telling Din to his face (or... helmet, rather.)

But, Din doesn't want that. Because Din believes that that love goes to waste if Luke gives it to him when Din is simply doing something he enjoys.

Luke believes that Love is all there is to give, Din believes he is selfish for accepting it with nothing in return.

Din believes that Help is all there us to give, Luke believes he is selfish for accepting it with nothing in return.

AAAAAAA IT ALSO WORKS FOR GROGU BECAUSE AT FIRST DIN ONLY SAVED HIM BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. BUT HE SOON REALISED HE WANTED TO BE MORE OF A FATHER TO HIM AND GROGU ONLY EVER SAW HIM AS A FATHER FIGURE

Din, seeing Grogu: this is a thing. I must help it find its kind because that is my purpose and I enjoy it. I will not fall in love with the thing.

Grogu: :)

Din: I have fallen in love with the thing.

Din, seeing Luke: this is a Jedi. I must help him find his calling and also learn how to appreciate himself because that is my new purpose, and I enjoy it. I will not fall in love with the Jedi.

Luke: :)

Din: it will not happen again.

Luke: :( *sigh* guess I am unlovable and unworthy.

Din: ........ by Manda this can't be happening—

Oh my god 😭 they are such different people but when it comes down to it family is the most important thing to both of them 😭 oh... ohh

They love each other, but until they realise it, they are soooo incompatible and that's what makes me the happiest sometimes :,)

I love BBB. I love my story. I am in love with it. I would kiss it if I could.

THANK YOU for this ask. A great big mahoosive THANK YOU. I'm SORRY it took SO LONG getting to it, it has been a troubling year. I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on some of these, I hope I was ever so slightly coherent.

And, tbh, I'm heckin proud of this, so. @doublechocolate @airlocksandaviaries @funkyphonophorae @jspookywolf <3 tagging the people who might enjoy a lore dump?

Ily Nova!!! Keep doing what ur doing.

[kittynomsdeplume]

Writer Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @morganlefaye79 and @thedastrash.

Do you write in order?

For one-shots, I usually do. Beyond quickly noting down one or two sentences that might have already formed as I was thinking about a concept/prompt.

I hate it though, this compulsion I have to write linearly and I've been working to try and break the habit. To allow myself to skip over parts i'm having trouble with and come back to them later.

For multi-chapters fics though, I might have random bits and pieces in each chapter written if there is a set piece that I know is going specifically into that chapter.

Do you start with something in particular?

The beginning!

Generally when I'm starting, I might only have a vague idea of what the overall piece is going to be. I might know the beats I want to hit, but not exactly how I'm going to depict them.

Sometimes I might have just a very vivid moment, something I want to show, or even some lines of dialogue that the whole piece evolves from, so they might get put down first, but then I need to go back and think, well, how did they get here? And that's usually the point where the seeds are lain for a very simple concept to blow out into a 10K word fic 😑

How fully formed does your writing come out on the first try?

I would say it's fairly well formed. Another bad habit I have, where I struggle to move on if each sentence doesn't sound quite right. Eventually I get frustrated enough to carry on, usually. I am getting better at just letting go and keeping the momentum going, but it's ridiculous how easily I fall into old habits.

I'm always annoyed at myself too when I realise I've been sitting agonising over something for thirty minutes, and every time I'm like, 'Oh, you should just move on!'. It always seems like this novel thought too, like I've never considered the possibility before.

I feel like all the sensible things I've learned over years of writing, just completely disappear from my head when I'm deep in the midst of writing.

How many drafts do you go through?

Pssh, I really have no idea. I have a tendency (and it's probably a bad one), to write a bunch of stuff and then come up for air. At that point, I sit back, go back to the start and read everything over, editing it as I go.

I also do this frequently when I'm really stumped and can't figure out how to move the story forward.

So depending on the length of the story, and how much trouble I had getting it all down, I might have been over it five times, or fifty times before its done.

The one benefit to this though is that, when I am finishing up the end, or the last tricky passage that I was struggling with, I know that the rest of the fic is probably pretty solid by that point. It's a nice relief to know that I can just publish the story and finally forget about it 😆

Tell me about your process?

Pretty simple to be honest. Have obsessive thought - furiously type obsessive thought into document. Then spend days, or a month in abject agony, trying to build a coherent narrative around that thought.

Sometimes I'll be reading shit posts from fandoms I don't even know anything about, and I'll have a thought like, 'Oh that's such a blorbo vibe.'

Truly though, so many of my fics begin with a thought like, 'Wouldn't it be funny...' and I imagine some truly bonkers, crack nonsense. So then I start writing it, cackling with glee, and somewhere along the way I think, 'Wouldn't this be better if they were suffering?'.

I also spend an absurd and probably unnecessary amount of time researching all manner of things. Again, I'm always annoyed with myself at the end of this process too, because its hours and hours of deep-diving on some topic, which ends up being like three words in the final fic 😅 Or even worse, all that time spent and then I go, 'Ahhh, ya know, I changed my mind, I'm not even gonna mention this particular thing in any event.'

No-one really needs to know the type of flora that grows at a specific altitude, in mountainous regions, during a certain period of the year and in a particular hemisphere/geographic location - IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SMUT FIC KITTY! 🫣

Researching other people OC's however, is never a waste of time. I need to absorb their essence before I can even contemplate writing them. Otherwise I just get extreme anxiety and can't write anything at all.

As to the nitty gritty, I am 100% a pantser. I don't really do outlines or anything. I have the concept in my head and I just sit down and start writing it. The only notes I would make are if there is very specific plot points, or details I need to remember. Say like the age of a character, or the time of year its set, or something significant about a location etc. Sometimes, dialogue for a later scene has formed perfectly in my head and I don't want to risk forgetting exactly how it went, so that gets noted down.

Beyond that, I don't always know exactly how a story is going to play out, I just feel it out as I go.

I actually sat down and outlined a whole long-fic once, and by the time I was done, I no longer had any compulsion to write it. Knowing what was going to happen sort of robbed me of the excitement of discovery so... I try to avoid over-planning fics now because I don't want that to happen again 😅

Tagging: @sidhelives | @charlatron | @noire-pandora | @rosella-writes | @dreadfutures | @isk4649 | @queenaeducan | @cleverblackcat | @pikapeppa | @charmcity-jess

[meissashush]

🍁🌾💐🌺☄💦

for Ro

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Ro is a habitual hider. In a new place, she'll always sniff out the quietest place to hide unseen, regardless of whether she actually ends up needing it. That said, she isn't really one to claim an area. If her so called 'territory' is ever usurped by a different antisocial weirdo introvert, she won't contest it. The location just gets written off as 'less than ideal' and a new one is hunted down.

The closest she has to a comfort corner is her room, and later her solo apartment. It's not intentional, but rather incidental in nature. She's naturally inclined to keep everything she considers 'hers' confined to her personal space, and she tends to only keep things she genuinely needs or likes.

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

EDIT FROM FUTURE MEI!!!! IM STUPID AS SHIT AND ALSO DYSLEXIC AND READ THIS AS "Describe your OCs eyes through the lens of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them" BECAUSE IM A FUCKING MORON. Anyway, this stays as a monument to my stupity.

"Crystalline. They contain such a profound clarity that they can rend you quite transparent, despite one's best efforts." - Ignis

"Icy. Like the crisp blue of a clear. midwinter sky. But, like, in a refreshing sort of way." - Gladio

"Oh man, I've been trying to figure this one out for years. It's like if baby blue, cerulean, and royal blue started making out, you know?" - Prompto

"Uh... they're blue, right?" - Noctis

💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

Well, she's a Leonis, so not well. She'll hide her illness/injury for as long as possible, and who ever can catch her is going to be the one wrangling her into bed for the duration. Ignis and Nyx have the best luck with it simply by virtue of being more stubborn than her, followed by Prompto and Noctis who are great at distracting her with video games and co-naps, with Gladio and Cor coming in solid last. Turns out trying to just force her into bed and expecting her to stay there isn't the best strat. Naturally, this means she a pretty awful patient.

As for her as a caretaker, she's pretty decent. Quick to find what you need, intuit what you want, and most likely to remember bizarre things like how Prompto can't stand the smell of eggs when he's ill. Bedside manner is not the best, but she's not Cor or Gladio.

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

When she was younger, and sometimes when there is no real time to recover, she has a tendency to just work through it until she can't anymore. As she got older and learned to rely on people more, she became much more prone to seeking comfort from others. The best person for the situation varies heavily, but Cor is definitely a one-size-fits-all person for an upset Rosea. If she's alone, she's gotten better of just talking herself through it in a quiet space. It takes longer, but it does work.

☄️ Does this OC deserve better treatment from you? Do you make them suffer just a little bit too much? Be nice to them!

This isn't even a question, this is just you yelling at me :[

I am very nice to her, thank you very much. Those are load bearing traumas. All of them. Even the non-canon ones I make just for fun.

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

I would erase the event that led her to emotionally cutting herself off from everyone she loved :] The first one, anyway. Pretty sure that's the main jenga block in all of her -gestures vaguely- that.

[aberooski]

fanfic asks: 22, 30, 49 💫

Oh yay! Thank you for the asks! 💜

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

This is an interesting one because honestly I don't have any specific point in the process where it happens. Titles just kinda find their way to me whenever they want. Sometimes I'm struck with inspiration early on in the writing process or even before I even come up with an idea, but I like the title so much I have to come up with a fic for it, or I'll have a fic completed and be struggling and fighting tooth and nail with my brain to come up with something to call it 🤭 let me pull a few quick examples from my pantheon!

Once Upon A Duelist, that one came super easily to me. Of course that fic being a Sleeping Beauty au, having the play on Once Upon A Dream was pretty simple to think of but I digress, it was an easy one to title.

Sons of The Stars on the other hand, that one I was ruminating and formulating titles for throughout the whole process and getting nowhere for the longest time. Angel's Tears was like that too when I wrote it back in the day. (Tbh in the market for a new title for that one, I used to love it but recently I've liked it a lot less)

And my Final Fantasy XV fic What Goes In. That one was super easy because I took it from a line of dialog that Gladio has in one of the cutscenes that was actually written into the fic.

And Sustained by Hate is the title of a song from Final Fantasy XIII and well the cutscene it plays in in the game is the scene involves a child trying to murder a man because he blames him for his mother's death, so 😬 but the title was very relevant because the only thing keeping Camula's soul together and keeping her from being assimilated into oblivion was her hatred of Jaden and desire for revenge, so she was quite literally sustained by hate. I actually borrowed or was inspired by a lot of titles from that game's songs and story chapters for the chapters in the fic too aksksk

I take a lot of inspiration from songs for both fic titles and chapter titles, ever since I was a kid writing shitty fics in actual physical journals. But I also sometimes just try to think of something relevant from my own brain aksksk

So yeah they just kinda find me whenever they want to, I don't really have any specific point in time where I come up with titles. But that honestly can be the hardest part of the entire process for me if they don't come to me early on in the process.

30. How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

This one's easy actually, I usually wait until the end and go back and do it all at once. Mostly because just about every fic I've written in the last like 5 years has been for the YGOBB so I've been writing on a time crunch for a long time and I'm a slow writer so I never had the time to spend editing as I go. I'd wait until the rough draft was done and turned in and then go back and edit after.

Now I've been going back and even editing and revising those fics again because honestly I don't think I did a very good job the first time. But I'm less horrified when I read my old fics now so that's good 😭

I do find myself going back and editing as I go more now than I used to, especially since I'm stepping back from YGOBB this year and taking a break from that. Love the event, but I think all my fics have suffered from the time crunch and I always burn out having to push myself to pump out my fics so yeah need that break.

But generally I do write a fic all the way out before I'll start editing so I can focus on one thing at a time. Get the foundation first and then build upon it. 👍

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

Oh boy this one's actually a very hard question for me 😅

When I think about it I'm kinda tempted to say Sustained by Hate (abby's version)(from the vault)

It's a multi chapter fic which is my forte, it's in universe which I don't often do in my long fics, the concept is entirely plausible with Camula being brought back and wanting revenge for her defeat, it works in a lot of my little touches and portrayals of the characters

Dad Crowler, Hassleberry’s leg being an issue for him a lot, Alexis being protective of Atticus like to the max, Jaden going out of his way to try and protect the squad but specifically Sy, Bastion playing the role of team mom, Chazz and Atty's relationship period, and you even get some of my quirks and inner workings of my mind with Mrs. Rhodes and Mrs. Princeton hanging out on the sidelines

Also the blatant, very thinly veiled Little Mermaid reference of a plotline..... I mean c'mon the chapter is literally called Poor, Unfortunate Soul 😭

I also actually wrote a duel and that was really hard and I'm very proud of myself and everyone should be impressed 😭

Anyways that one is very me, there's so much in that fic that's very authentic to me and I think it's probably the best intro to me and my writing in terms of the long fics.

One shots, Salt In The Wound. No question. Maybe when I go back and edit that one A Friend In Need would be good too, and Traffic Lights is pretty good but again SITW is so authentically me as a Syrus stan/kin who has major beef with Zane.

I'd love to say OUAD, you know I would. But that's my magnum opus man, if that's your introduction you've set the bar pretty damn high 😭

And Sons of The Stars, as much as I demand everyone in the universe read it because I worked harder on that fic than anything I've ever written in my life, that is NOT a starter fic. It's 136k. And a whole ass built from the ground up au. And honestly draws on a lot of stuff in season 3 and there's a couple subtle nods to other works in it so it's not a starter at all. That's one to read after you've read a couple aksksk

So yeah, if you want a quality starter fic, Sustained by Hate is probably the way to go I think.

Angel's Tears or What Goes In wouldn’t be bad either if you wanted to see the progression of my work from high school to now. Even with the revisions I've done to both of those fics in the last couple months, in my opinion you can still tell I originally wrote them when I was like 18 years old.

But I legitimately think Sustained by Hate and Salt In The Wound would probably the best options depending on which length of fics you like to read.

Thanks again for the asks, these are so fun!!

☆ Abby ☆

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No fr it’s funny because even Ego says that like “you guys live in the comfort of Japan where you’ll never worry about surviving” so good that bllk is self aware but I agree the stakes in the beginning fr felt a bit intense which was refreshing!! Yeah im still a little irked about himizus backstory too like that could’ve been a gorgeous karasu panel instead but NOPE wtv also makes me a little sad that we won’t see karasus backstory animated since its in epinagi

HAHA its funny when you remember he has a second lead role in one of your reqs he will not get his happy ending quite yet it seems LMAOO but also I JUST SAW we literally called it yuki and Karasu certified gentlemen FRRR yayoi knew what she was doing!! I bet it’s also because granny Karasu lives with them too so he’s constantly surrounded by older women and learning to respect them! No because what am I supposed to do with the info in hioris profile he what?????? Hospitalized y/n era next /j I’m crying it just has me imagining like does that include like a whole ass full body cast where you can’t even see the person but yeah anyways and we all thought Karasu was the weird one for commenting on his leg this is a different level of freak

I’m convinced otoya is the animators’ fave because he looks so good?? Like they make him so majestic too I see so many edits of him trust yuki and nagi will get their moment when we see their match!! Very excited to see all the clips from there! Some scenes of Shidou are actually INSANE did you watch through the ep? Towards the end they have pics of the top 6 and when I tell you I fr got jumpscared by Shidou but I also could not care less like yesss save the budget for Karasu pls!!!

FR like how are they even connected…actually ik a lot of people ship megumi and sukuna because of sukunas plan for megumi and how he didn’t let him die etc but Karasu is wild…maybe someone mistook megumi for Karasu and went to town with it idk LMAO

IM CRYING THE STOCK PHOTO thats fr me whenever i have to be productive im crying well at least the sufferings over now!!! You made it!! LMAOO wait im kinda excited for when you have to get to the Isagi req too not just to read but to hear your commentary as you write LMAOAOA I love the classic Mira foreshadowing hint drops i like picking them out and being like “oh yk someone’s dying” or something LOL

AGAIN WITH THE HISTORICAL REFERENCE your research game is too strong but I loved the story overall I mean you know I’m not a Kaiser fan either LMAO but I certainly didn’t mind reading that!! Another win in my book wait again the Kunigami cameo LMAOOOO fr had me like “omg what are YOU doing here??” LOL

Wait your process for making the layout already sounds complicated to me LMAO ibis paint is fr pretty insane though for a free app!!

That panel is so good speaking of I can’t wait to see that animated too omg

LMAOAOAOA you are correct in fact those two edits actually made it to my fyp which was pleasantly surprising but YEAHHHHHH THAT KARASU SCENE CHEFS KISS he looks so good and LMAOOO the “mama a girl behind you” audio is so funny and it works perfectly with otoya being sneaky

- Karasu anon

LMAOO ego calling them out will always be funny to me like bro was not playing around 😭 but agreed it added a bit of self awareness to the show!! and yeah…idk why we needed an entire focus on himizu when we know he’s irrelevant moving forward…just another example of how bllk ends up on focusing on too many characters and spreading itself too thin 😫 it was a perfect chance to expand on karasu and/or kiyora who are both playing in the current match 🙁 but maybe i’m biased because i want more karasu i’m sure the two himizu fans out there were happy abt it

HFJDJSS KUNIGAMI FOREVER SUFFERING at least he’s entering the miraverse though…maybe one day he’ll debut in full probably not though because alongside being ginger he’s also kinda boring i fear 😭 perhaps if the wildcard backstory makes him rlly fascinating i’ll change my mind but idk…ANYWAYS YESSSS YUKI AND KARASU MY GLORIOUS KINGS also i think it’s funny that the rankings are voted by other blue lock characters and karasu’s constantly an asshole to like all of them?? yet they still voted him as the number two gentleman KDCNDJS bro has no enemies fr i love him 🥹 HAHAHA PLSSSS ngl the more i learn abt hiori with his ln and now his profile the more i’m like nah karasu is JUSTIFIED in fucking around with him LMAOAOA everyone thinking he’s the weird one when he’s just a slightly sassy guy who likes to say goofy stuff to his friends meanwhile hiori is like actually lowkey a freak 😰

SHIDOU CONSISTENTLY JUMPSCARING HE’S SO GOOFY I CAN’T 😭 pls i just know they’re going to do yuki and nagi so well in the next episode they show up in…okay but i saw a panel of manga karasu and i was fr like 😫 as glorious as he is animated he fr hits diff in the manga for some reason JSDHSJSJ anyways yeah they’re really eating it up with the otoya scenes ngl good for them otoya would be proud

yeahhh i think that’s why it’s such a popular ship!! since sukuna was all like “megumi absolutely cannot die” ofc we know that wasn’t romantic but when you’re a shipper anything works ig 🙂‍↕️ my only thought is someone who ships sukuna and megumi together started bllk and put the pieces together and created the rare pair of the century

I LOVEEE THAT PHOTO a guy sent it to a gc i was in whenever he had to do computer science hw and i IMMEDIATELY saved i think it’s hilarious 😭 literally me seeing all of my sae requests and zero nagi ones 😔 but YESSSS I’M FREE FROM KAISER AT LEAST not sure what i’m going to work on next but we’ll see!! hopefully it won’t take as long as that did to come out 😫

HISTORICAL REFERENCES ALWAYS #trust LMAAOOA yeah i don’t love kaiser as you know but he is fun to write abt sometimes he’s more on the karasu end of things where he lends himself to more plots…HELP i was thinking of leaving the guard anonymous but then i was like nah let me let kunigami get his first name drop KDJDJDDHJS anyways fun fact in the very first scene when reader takes kunigami to the art gallery and they leave the other guard to watch over her father the other guard is meant to be barou!! also if she didn’t get sick and meet kaiser/literally die she probably would’ve ended up marrying kunigami 🙁

SPEAKING OF HISTORICAL REFERENCES…rin said his fav historical figure is oda nobunaga apparently??? aka the person hollyhock y/n is based on 😭 rin is a hollyhock y/n stan wait imagine we were joking abt what it would be like if hollyhock characters met their bllk selves but imagine RIN meeting hollyhock y/n he’d genuinely glaze her i fear 😰 probably hollyhock karasu too since he’s also one of the three unifiers 😜 probably feels bad they got reincarnated into such “lukewarm” modern time equivalents

yeahhh ibis paint x fr goes hard i love it!! and it’s not too bad DJFHDJ the hardest part is picking what panel i want to use 😭 it wasn’t hard for kaiser because he doesn’t have that many panels with the long gold hair which is what i imagined him having while as an actual angel but i’m sure i’ll start to run out of sae panels at some point HAHAHA

UGH barou goal animated is going to be so good they always do him and his goals SO well i have full entire faith that he’s going to look amazing…barou my handsome amazing boyfriend…I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE KARASU SPAWNING INTO EVERY CELEBRATION TOO he’s literally in ALL of them (except nagi’s i think that’s just his fist pump and then we see isagi and chigiri running towards him) IT’S SO FUNNY LIKE BRO IS IN THE MIDFIELD WHERE DOES HE EVEN COME FROM 😭

THAT KARASU SCENE IS SOOOOO ugh he carried the episode i’m trying not to rewatch because i plan on rewatching all of s2 at once after it’s all out but it’s so tempting i want to see him again 😫 and the mama a girl behind you audio for otoya CRACKS ME UP it’s so him also wait lowkey is it just me or does otoya kinda look like rin 😭 maybe it’s the hair idk they’re kinda giving twin

[spectre-tabris]

tag game

tagged by @pluviance

oh wow it's been so long since i've done one of these.

Current time: 6:20 pm

Current activity: typing up character bios for the oc page i started redoing...a while ago and never finished

Currently thinking about: before thinking about answering this? definitely doing the rotating-blorbo-in-my-head-like-a-microwave thing with jehenara. again. it's a Problem

Current favourite song: um. how dare you make me pick one. promiseland by mika has been stuck in my head for like a day and a half, so we'll go with that one.

Currently reading: the mystery of mysteries, an edgar allen poe biography my mother got me for my birthday and thus will expect me to have Thoughts about next time i see her. i am not usually a biography person so it is slow going

Currently watching: well i was going to answer this with what i most recently watched since i don't have anything playing at the moment, but apparently that's the next question shhh

Recently watched: ...most recent thing i watched was an online linguistics lecture after a conversation with mistralrunner made me remember that i actually really like linguistics. because i'm a giant nerd. but if we're talking specifically shows, i think the last thing i watched properly was the clone wars show, because i like to make myself suffer i guess

Current WIP: um. oh dear. so much. many of them being the reason behind the "rotating in head like a microwave" problem above. so uh. if we're talking purely fic-based and not the character bios i've been working on, an eso fic that is basically a character relationship study for jehenara and verandis at lorkrata hills. though i also have a few pieces with jehenara and gwendis figuring out how to be friends that need to be edited and then i need to decide if i'm going to do anything with them that isn't leaving them on my google drive and never acknowledging them again.

i think anyone i might normally tag has already been tagged by other people, so we're going to pretend i tagged someone here and move on

[usagifuyusummer]

Oh wow!!! Yippee!!! Some of the stuff you've shared so far regarding this FOP AU!!! I am your number one fan on this hahahah lmao (and now co-creator too hahaha). 🥳🥳🥳💞💞💞💖💖💖🎉🎉🎉🎉

I'll share the links of the related posts regarding the FOP AU down here too. (I'll also repost the one link you've shared too, just to have clearer notes on what has been conceptualised.)

Origin Discussion Posts

Updated Character Designs 1

Concept Art 1: Boy with a Parasol

Tumblr Asks 1

More ramblings on my thoughts about this down below lol. I hope the formatting is okay... Or not, I will edit this post a lot...

But yes!!! I am now in a collab with @keyintheeye-blog on this FOP AU because I love their original designs and thoughts they shared before. PLUS, I really want to see OG FOP in a more horror classical era fairytale-ish style. Like we have discussed the set-up narrative but it will take a while to streamline everything. (We're both university level students, so I think you get the picture of how busy we really are lmao.)

Good News! (Or maybe lukewarm-ish lol) I am here for the long game!!! As I've decided this is something I wanted to commit as... I know I don't have much time left to do on what I really love, which is the creative arts.

Why FOP though, and not any other works of media? Because, I've noticed that FOP, despite its really unique concept, and wonderful colorful visuals, and so many more that I adore about the OG, doesn't get as much love as I think it deserves (not including the new iteration of the show)... and I acknowledge that this is due to the part of the multiple problems the show suffered throughout its run.

Can't change what's already happened in the past... so, I've been thinking of wanting to create something, anything, that I can personally enjoy (and possibly others too). Similar to the many amazing fanworks that I've seen and read from the other fandoms!!! I am very thankful that they took the time to create and leave behind such wonderful materpieces for anyone who had the chance to find them in this vast digital space (for free even!!!). Hence, why I'm now here assisting and contributing a fanwork for FOP, and not on the other millions of works of media that I still love and adore.

(One fanwork that I've been amazed so far on FOP is the works of Metala Kahame from Fanfiction.net. I'm currently reading their fic, Broken Child. Really slowly tho lmao.)

Although, I admit that I still have a long way to go in terms of my artistic abilities... Additionally, I don't think my art works are that amazing personally lmao and this is also the first time I'm doing something like this. So, I don't really have high expectations on being recognized or anything for this self-appointed creative project lol. What's important is that I'm doing this for love!!! and because I want to leave behind something before I drown in the bleakness and harshness of adulthood lmao. (Plus, I'm not sure if this AU can reach its completion..., like I have ideas, but I need to discuss with the creator first.)

Currently, I'm really busy with university preparations stuff. Like, I'm currently packing a lot of stuff as my uni semester starts in October. But, I do have a list of things I want to create for this AU! At this moment (whenever I can manage to lol), I'm in the middle of creating another silly (stupid) short comic to answer the asks I've been getting so far hahaha (there's not a lot really). Then, I want to streamline the narrative timeline of this AU, with other details and concepts (personally with them later hehe) while also, completing the second concept art for this AU.

So yeah, when I'm in the middle of doing a lot of these, I will be my usual art hoarder gopher self and reblog works of art that I can find from other users. (whenever I have the time of course) Like how this blog is usually is lol. A trash blog of the things I love. Thus, if you're reading this far and are interested, I will tag the posts related to this AU properly, so that you won't sift through this trash can of a blog lmao.

I hope we can work together well and have fun while creating this FOP AU together @keyintheeye-blog. Let's fumble through this and learn from our mistakes while we can lmao.

If you're still reading this far, I hope you have a nice day!!! I will impart you a sketch drawing of Timmy threatening you with a saw from the short silly stupid comic that I'm doing to answer the asks lmao. (I think I might be too ambitious on the short comic this time... I need to better formulate stuff...)

Victorian era AU

So, we can't delay any more! I have accumulated concepts and sketches on Victorian AU and I am ready to share them with you!!! YAY!!! FANFARE!!!

Let's start with the fairy flower crowns.

So, I thought it would be fun if there were flowers with meaning in the flower crown, and not just beautiful ones. And of course, there is more than one type of flower in the flower crown. To determine which flowers can be in the flower crown of Cosmo and Wanda, I used the "Language of flowers". The picture is signed with flowers and their meaning so that everything is clear.

I must say right away, yes, it's not that important, it's just a small detail, so if you are a person who wants to draw on the topic of this au, don't worry, it's not necessary to understand colors. Draw flower crowns as your heart desires.

Oh and hey! Look, I drew Jorgen in this Au

Of course, since he is also a fairy, he is just as sparkling shiny and with wings. And of course he cannot be left without a flower crown, but it is woven into his helmet. It seemed like a good idea to give him a Roman helmet. It suits him, because he is all so military, belligerent and definitely has some kind of dominant and protective role in this au. It's still in development, but I'll definitely think through this part more. Well, his wings are the wings of a large beetle, these wings suit him, it would be strange if he had butterfly wings like in the designs of Cosmo and Wanda, so yes, all fairies have insect wings suitable for them.

A little bit about Vicki

So, let's take it in order, otherwise I'm afraid that I'll get confused in my thoughts lol.

There is a manufactory/factory that is definitely owned by Doug Dimmadom (who else?). Child labor is used in this factory, because, well, have you seen children? Have you seen their little nimble hands? They are excellent workers to work with small details! So, Vicky, who is in charge of these poor children, also works there. She probably rose to this position, but it would be funny if her little one was noticed initially as a commander over the children lol.

What else about the Dimmadom family is there in AU? Well, actually not much. Doug is still a tycoon who owns a bunch of businesses, and Dale is probably also kidnapped by Vicky here. Why would she kidnap children for the sake of child labor if she is already in charge of children at work? Well, obviously, more money and power for a woman in this difficult era. We have not considered this in more detail yet

Other things

My dear co-author (@usagifuyusummer) also has good ideas for the storyline of this au! I think I can't reveal all these ideas, because well, work on them is still underway, but I can tell you a little about them.

There is already a pretty detailed idea of how Timmy got to know the fairies, and then got to know Cosmo and Wanda specifically (the first sketch). I don't want to reveal how it all happened yet, but after one situation Cosmo and Wanda followed Timmy everywhere in an attempt to help him (well, or have fun, we already know what kind of fairies they are) and after a long time when unexplained phenomena occurred, Timmy accidentally discovers these two fairies (yes, unsuccessfully falling into the bushes, with who does not happen)

Well, the second sketch as a reference to the work of the Urusami, lol. This art is gorgeous, if you haven't seen it, take a look. Personally, I was delighted with this picture!

And if you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask them, I will be happy to answer!

Thank you all for your attention!!!