#edgar is so extra sometimes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nztsume · 3 months ago

Text

• waiting for the big twenty-five •

homelander x you

{“Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

Even if you’re just kind of a glorified baby-sitter, you just want to see him happy - instead, you accidentally make him worse.

read on ao3

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Hi yall!!! The voices won and I finally ended up starting to write the young homelander fic of my dreams where we find out how he ended up being the deranged insecure insane man we know and love!!

In this one, you're Madelyn Stilwell's niece who works at Vought- and have striken an unexpected soft spot for the company’s latest investment- this insecure, shy but sweet young hero called Homelander.

Enjoy!

• 1 •

July, 2005

Every single day, at exactly 5.30 a.m., Homelander was to be awoken by the smell of coffee on his kitchen table. The coffee had to be fresh, beans grinded that same morning, no sugar, no milk, no exceptions. To accompany it, he was to have his pills: two of creatin– for muscle growth, three of protein- to feed them, a weight gainer– so he would stop being so lanky, and an extra dose of vitamin D, to fight those pesky pimples guys his age still got sometimes. All of them should be in a small container, so he could swallow them at once with his first gulp.

Next to his coffee and his pills, he was to have a folder with any relevant document for the day- interviewer’s questions and the answers he was to give, profiles of important people he would meet, scripts for any ad he was to film. All of that, including his schedule for the day- except that was to be read to him by you. This is how Maddie had told you it had to be done, and how you’d done it since day one.

You looked at your wrist watch, holding his coffee on your hand- piping hot, just how you knew he liked it- and you yawned, watching the thinnest clock hand go round it, as the last minute before you could walk into his apartment went by.

Finally, it was 5.25, and you could already walk in- so you did.

You weren’t exactly his maid- he had several of those, but none of them were to do anything to his apartment whenever he was around. He wasn’t to have much contact with the normal civilians, the normies- as Maddie called them. You preferred to reserve your opinions at that- your aunt had changed a lot since she had started working here.

What you were was Maddie’s secretary- and Maddie was Mr. Edgar’s secretary- or something. There was a fancier title for that, but you couldn’t recall it. All you knew was that she was aiming for vice-CEO or something, as it was the only thing she talked about whenever she dragged you to a bar after office hours, and insisted on drinking glass after glass of whisky.

As you finished setting things up, you appreciated the result- his cup of coffee, his pills, his documents and ah, a special surprise. One big, obscene chocolate cupcake, the kind where the chocolate topping is so rich that it spills and drips all over, with one beautiful strawberry on top, and next to it, one single candle. You weren’t sure if chocolate was his favorite, but you knew he had a bit of a sweet tooth- so he’d appreciate it, at least some.

Finally, you took out your red lighter and lit the candle- and less than twenty seconds later, you looked up- and there he was.

"Good morning, John.”, you put the lighter back on your blazer’s pocket, smiling at him.

He blinked- eyes still not fully alert, as he scratched them. They were boring holes into the chocolate cupcake, and you couldn’t help to smirk a little- you knew he’d be interested in it.

“Is that for me?”, he asked, surprised, almost like a child- and you laughed. Ever since you’d met him, about five or six months ago now, you’d felt like he was younger than his actual age- there was something about the way he stood in the middle of his own massive penthouse, like a kid lost in a big, elegant furniture showroom. Alone, quiet and shy, even when wearing his own super suit. It didn’t help that it was actually way too big for one person, with its tall, tall roofs, marble everything and sleek furniture- much less for an overworked twenty-something with no time for a social life.

“Of course.”, you assured him. “It’s your birthday after all, right? Happy 24th!”

He pressed his lips awkwardly, trying to contain a smile- but that didn’t work, as he let out a laugh, and finally came to the kitchen island, almost a skip on his step. You couldn’t help to be glad- finally this kid was getting some happiness in him.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome.”, you said, sarcastically, as he went to town on the cupcake, taking big bites out of it. He stopped for a second mid-bite, mouth full of chocolate, to look at you with a smile- and there was a gleeful glint in his eyes. Actually, that was enough of a thank for you. Anything that made that perpetual sadness that he always seemed to hold go away, even for just a few minutes, was worth it. You laughed at him. “Okay- just go for it. But don’t forget your pills!”

“I can’t believe it- this tastes so good!”, he finally said, after taking another bite- in less than thirty seconds he had eaten half of it. Unbelievable! “Best birthday gift ever!”

“Oh- shush.”, you crossed your arms, leaning back against the counter, watching him take a big gulp of coffee. “Just wait until you see what Maddie has gotten you- it’ll blow your mind.”

“I don’t think it’ll be better than having chocolate as breakfast.”- he set the last bite of the cupcake aside, finally taking the pill container, and eyeing them with disgust. You sighed- perhaps if they let the kid eat his breakfast he wouldn’t need those nasty pills- it wasn’t like he wasn’t going to burn it off in the training center literally thirty minutes later. You didn’t know much about supe genetics, but they couldn’t be too different from normal people’s, right?

You yawned again, this time covering your mouth to the side, as you let him have the rest of the cupcake and his coffee. You liked to give him some minutes of silence so he could enjoy it properly- you knew that that’s how you liked it when you had yours.

This morning in particular, you just wished you had gotten to drink your coffee alone- but your fiance was just arriving from a shift at the E.R., and you had to deal with his graphic description of a dick that had been cut in half by a broken wine glass. You were still trying to forget about it. At least you lived close enough to Vought- just a ten minute subway trip away - so you didn’t have to wake up much earlier than that. It was just lucky you knew how to do your make-up on the move, another time-saving skill you’d learnt in your college years.

You heard him drinking the last of his coffee- doing that big slurp noise he always did, and you finally decided to take the document with his schedule- ready to tell him about his day.

He was tired -he always was, but today he seemed particularly so, even behind the hint of a smile the cupcake had left him with. You could tell by his posture under those cheesy button up burgundy silk pajamas, shoulders too slumped, hips rested against the counter. You weren’t surprised- according to Maddie, ever since they’d debuted him close to two years ago to the public, he’d been worked non-stop. It was only time until he broke, you thought- but you could never say it to her. Your aunt had always been too good at pushing people further than they could reach, and too good at seeing only ahead of her; John was just another one of her subjects.

“Alright”, you finally said, seeing the subtle move of his shoulders straightening at your voice, “Ready to hear about your day, birthday boy?”

He groaned in response, the hint of his smile completely being wiped away, “I guess…”

You pressed a smile for him, but mentally frowned reading over his schedule- he was packed, of course. “What’s that? Not excited about being 24?”, they’d even put an interview right after his birthday celebration- his 1 hour long birthday celebration. They as in Maddie and Mr. Edgar. “Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

“It’s when your brain finishes developing.”, you replied, remembering the information from back in the day, when you were still trying to get your Psychology’s degree. “Your frontal cortex- the one in charge of your personality and all- it stops growing at around 25 years old. So you get only one more year of acting like a dumbass without people holding it against you.”, you added that last one joke to make him laugh- it worked. He wasn’t used to people throwing curse words around him. “Congrats!”

“Just one more year, huh?”, he said, more seriously than you expected. “That’s kind of sad.”

“No way- it’s great.” you shook your head, “After 25… it’s like your brain rewires. You’re not embarrassed anymore, you get some self-esteem back from when you were a kid.”, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, remembering how stupidly shy you were back when you were his age. It wasn’t that long ago, really, just four years- but it felt like another lifetime, somehow. “10 out of 10, if you ask me. Anyway–”, you gave one more sigh, before turning your attention back to him, “Let me tell you about your day. So- it officially starts at 9.10 where you- oh. I didn’t know this. You’re getting a new suit!”

His eyebrows rose, “I thought that wasn’t until September.”

“Hmm, maybe they wanted to launch it at today’s park inauguration for your birthday- which is at around 11.30, by the way. So you get your suit fitted and all, then it’s an one hour drive, and then the inauguration. After that, lunch, and after…”, she frowned. “You have to have tea with- with Margaret Pataki and her friends ...?” , no way they were making the kid spend his birthday with a bunch of rich old ladies that wanted to get in his pants. You couldn’t believe Maddie. What in the world could have they offered your aunt to get the privilege of The Homelander’ s time on his birthday? Unbelievable. You huffed. “Well… too bad you have your weekly marketing meeting. You’ll have to miss it.”

“I thought that wasn’t until Thursday.”, he frowned, but there was a hint of relief behind his confusion.

“It’s not-”, you shot a look at him, “But you should get to rest for a couple hours on your birthday, don’t ya?”, you winked at him- and then moved on, before he could protest any further. Better not to think about it too much, or you’d get extremely mad at your aunt. “And then… your birthday celebration!”

“You’re coming, right?”

You looked up from the paper, surprised at his sudden intensity as he cut you off. You found those crystal blue eyes boring at you- like you were another cupcake, expectating of your reply.

“ ‘Course.”, you simply smiled- surprisingly secretly pleased. You liked him- he was a nice guy, behind all the pizzazz that Vought put him through in front of the cameras. Perhaps too nice, in your opinion- there was some trauma somewhere in there, you could tell. But you didn’t weren’t close enough to him to recommend therapy or something, although you had suggested it to Maddie… who obviously shrieked at the thought of their golden child going to the shrink. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Johnny.”

“Thank god-”, he sighed, rolling his eyes in sass, “If I have to deal with Stan or Madelyn or any of the other old farts there by myself, I’ll laser my own foot.”

This made you laugh. It always surprised you whenever he showed a bit of bite, as it seemed like whenever he was with Maddie or Edgar, he seemed like the best behaved pupil in the boarding school- and whenever he was in front of the public, he was an absolute boy-scout. “Oh- come on. I’m sure Noir’s gonna be there too. I’m not your only friend here, you know?” She hoped so, at least. John seemed to like Black Noir, although his presence in the Vought building was far and apart, since they hadn’t officially re-debuted him under the company’s name yet.

He shot you one last skeptical look before taking the folder with the rest of the documents- this was your dismissal, and you took it. It was ten to six, and he had to be in the training center soon.

“Anyway- I’ll take my leave. Maddie’s probably sent me my tasks for the day already.”, you heard a low distracted hum coming from him, already walking to the door. Before you left, you peeked at him one last time, before saying: “Happy birthday.”

He looked up just as you waved, and there was a hint of a smile in his face- good. You smiled back, and finally, slammed the door closed.

When you worked at Vought- more specifically, in their superhero division, every single day felt like standing in the middle of the sea during a storm- wave after wave of issues and tasks coming at you, suffocating you at times. Truth be told, you weren’t supposed to be working there- you were far too unqualified, both emotionally and academically.

When your aunt Maddie had found out about your mother’s disease, she, of course, had refused to help her. She had always been resentful at how resentful your mom had been of her, at how she had chosen a professional life path while your mom chose to have you at just seventeen, dropping out of school to form a family. Just your average sisters’ feud, splashed with just a bit of new wave feminism and abandonment issues. However, knowing you had dropped out of college, Maddie was kind enough to offer you a job in her workplace- none other than Vought Enterprises. Big shot shit.

She had told you that she wouldn’t make any promises, she wouldn’t work with you, and she wouldn’t slide you in with the big supes, where she worked. She had hustled her ass off to be where she was- she wouldn’t let your wormy little self run on the path she had so laboriously paved. You were okay with that- any corporation job would pay more than what you were doing in the dingy bar downtown where you’d been working since you dropped off college. Besides, you knew your aunt had never been all there- the love-hate she always showed you wasn’t personal, it was just a thing she did.

It didn’t help that you weren’t even more than seven years younger than her, so a lot of your childhood memories involved playing with her teen self. She was more a cousin than an aunt, to be fair. So there were a lot of things you could easily let slide- her insane mood swings was one of them. You knew she meant well- behind all of her power plays and degradation.

Either way, that didn’t end up happening- you working for a less important division, like pharmacy. As soon as she suggested Mr. Edgar to give you a job he was into the idea- he liked to keep things between family. And in hindsight, it was understandable. The things that happened behind the scenes for supes weren’t half as glamorous or exciting as they seemed to be on camera.

This morning had been particularly busy, the waves of work slowly turning into a tsunami, as Homelander’s birthday was a top priority for the entire department. He was the star, after all- had been for almost three years now. He was Vought’s face and voice, their personality. The bright eyed, all-american, charming, strongest to ever exist superhero. America turned into the shape of a man. Everything they’d ever dreamed, they were training into this twenty-something-year-old. Any excuse to celebrate him was good enough for them- because it was as if they were celebrating Vought itself.

That’s why you’d been running all over New York the entire morning. The tailor had managed to mismeasure John’s shoulders, somehow, and they needed two more of the handmade eagle feather golden shapes that went… well, you didn’t know where they went. You had only gotten the gist of it, along with a brown envelope to take to the goldsmith- any goldsmith that would get them done before 11.30 a.m., when Homelander was supposed to debut his new suit to the world, to mark a new era or something.

Luckily, it was 11 sharp as you ran through Vought’s main hall’s doors, and 11.04 as you knocked the costume division’s door on the 45th floor. You were breathless, knowing that he had to be on the other side of the city, to Fort Lee in less than half an hour- although seeing how tight they were, he was probably going to fly to the inauguration. The city council had granted him his very own children’s park after he’d saved a school bus from sinking into the Hudson a month ago, and they had chosen to inaugurate it the very day of his birthday. As if he had nothing else to do on that day.

Maddie opened the door, blonde waves all over the place, breath ragged. You knew the signs, she had been yelling at someone- and you were lucky it wasn’t you. You saw a flash of dark blue somewhere in the background and you knew it was John- and your curiosity was piqued. Would the new suit be too different? At least it seemed they’d keep his colors.

“Where are they?”, your aunt demanded.

Wordlessly, you took out a fancy necklace case out of the bag you were holding, “I had to find a different place- our goldsmith was taking too long to decide whether he could do them or in time or not.”, you explained, as she snatched it off your hands and opened to inspect them. While she did that, you subtly went on your tippy-toes, trying to catch the new suit without her knowing. “I think they look just like the mold-so…”

“Perfect.”, she concluded, slamming it closed, and she took one look at you, with those severe eyes of hers. “Go to the 72th. They need help with the party.”

After that, she slammed the door on your face. Oh well- you’d see it later, hopefully.

—

The 72th was a mess- as it always was, since it was the floor where most Vought only parties were held, the ones no outsiders should know about. Before, you would have thought that that meant something sexual- perhaps some sort of massive over the top superhero and congressmen orgy, the kind conspiracy theorists would talk about- but soon you found out it was not the case. Rather- it was the kind of party where millionaires would get drunk and discuss whether bombing another South Asian country would make them profits or not. You didn’t know which of the two types of parties were worse.

This time, though, at least the purpose of the preparations was much more innocent- just a small party for every person in Homelander’s life to celebrate him and his birthday. It was kind of impressive so many people showed up, in your opinion. It was the 4th of July, after all- most everyone would choose to celebrate it with their families at the park- or even just watch the fireworks from their TV at home. Instead, about twenty or more people were there, running around with you- decorating, inflating balloons, making every cookie in the dish look beautiful and photogenic. All for him- everyone wanted him to be pleased. You were sure that as long as he was allowed to eat enough of them, he’d be just as happy.

One thing you ended up noticing about the attendees was the variety, or more like, the lack of thereof. Most people there were some of Vought’s scientists, the ones you only knew of by their pictures on the Vought’s Best wall. You wondered what they had to do with Homelander, or if they were there just for protocol. Maybe these were the kind of people Edgar wanted him to surround himself with. Important people- people who did good for humanity.

And no, no Black Noir to be found.

Interestingly enough, even they were helping with the organization. Perhaps they were close, you wouldn’t know. You didn’t know much about John’s past aside from what you’d figured out by yourself- and what the public knew.

Either way, he was about to arrive, and you were to get Maddie’s gift ready for him. The box was a bit too big for it- but it needed the space, you guessed. You just wondered if the box was necessary at all.

Somebody heard the elevator sound starting to ding up- and began shushing everyone, as they started crowding around the room, hiding the big table with the cake and different foods that they had set up in the middle of the room behind them. You, of course, didn’t want to steal any spotlight from someone who could actually be important to him, so you placed yourself to the side, excited for him to arrive. You knew he was going to love this; he loved attention- even affection, as much as he tried to hide it.

The elevator finally dinged on their floor, and the doors opened, and-...

“Happy birthday!”, everyone shouted- only for Maddie to come out, her heels clicking as she saw on her that particular face she made when she scolded someone- her words drowned by their scream. Everyone made a confused noise- wasn’t it supposed to be…?

Then- a massive spot of blue walked in- a young man with wide shoulders, an unhesitant stroll and perfectly coiffed blonde hair- clad in an imposing red and blue suit. Homelander.

You began singing Happy Birthday- loudly, completely drowning everyone’s confusion and whatever Maddie was nagging the young supe about- and everyone was super quick to join. And you had the pleasure to see John’s face go from a slight frown to a bright expression- as everyone sang for him- claps and even stomps to go with it.

But… there was something off in his smile as he started recognizing the faces around him. You saw his eyes go through every person in the room with a strange restraint- like he was holding back something. Then- they fell on you, and they stayed there, somehow, it seemed that it made that off feeling fade off. You clapped and sang more excitedly.

“Happy birthday, dear… John-Homelan-Johnny !”, everyone laughed, as nobody quite knew how to address him, “Happy birthday to you!”

You saw him laugh- eyes looking around in surprise at the decorations. Everything was red, white and blue- with lots of golden details, that had been your touch. They were the expensive kind, but anyone could tell they weren’t set by professionals. You thought it added a homey touch that he’d enjoy- and he did, as he quite didn’t know what to do with himself, with his hands, as everyone clapped and whistled for him.

“Oh-!”, he finally said, “Thank you- thank you, guys!”, he was trying to play it cool, calming them awkwardly.

After that, the short event officially started. The attendees started mingling amongst each other, coming up in groups at times to talk to John, who seemed more interested on whatever was going on on the food table. You had caught him eyeing it from time to time whenever he was left alone for a second or two, as if he was deciding whether he could have a treat or not .

Meanwhile, you were busy guarding Maddie’s gift- which was secretly the only reason you were here at all. Not by your own volition, of course- you’d obviously come to John’s party if it was up to you. But… somehow, you felt that without your aunt’s express invitation it would have created problems for you. Sometimes it felt like Maddie got insanely possessive of the kid- as if anyone could come and snatch him away from under her management and steal her progress doing that. You didn’t quite know- all you really knew is that whenever you made a small observation, offered a small detail you’d noticed about him, she responded incredibly bad.

It wasn’t too bad, though. At least you were saving yourself from awkward conversations with strangers- plus, sometimes John caught your eyes and smiled at you. He had even tried to make his way to you a couple times, always interrupted by a new group of people who called for his attention.

He looked good in his new suit, you had to admit. A far cry from the leotardish one-piece he had before- that only worked to accentuate his still teensy physique, still too skinny and lanky for what he was supposed to be Edgar’s final vision of him- this new suit was magnificent. It looked like it was a two piece, for once- which he was probably thankful for- held by a strong golden (gold?) belt, and a high collar, covering just enough of his neck to draw attention to the slight v line it formed. He had some padding, she knew that- but it was just enough, not to transform his actual size, but to accentuate it. He looked more mature, more secure in his skin, and it showed - even if just a little bit.

Either way, you could hear her gift getting more and more agitated by the minute- so it was a relief when you heard her voice loud, commanding everyone’s attention.

“Let’s open your gifts, John.” Maddie said, coming up from behind and slapping a hand on his shoulder, making him jump a little.

The party moved to the gifts table, where a small pile laid. You dutifully took the box you’d been guarding on the corner of the room and started walking it by it with a bit of difficulty, mostly because it kept moving all over the surface- but also because it was making your nose itch.

By the time you had gotten there, John had already started opening some of his gifts. Someone got him an insanely expensive wine you knew he wasn’t even going to try, and someone else a piece of pottery. It was hard to make someone like him a gift- what could you even get someone who could have anything? Not that John ever asked for anything, though. But he could- and everyone was aware of that. Vought made sure they were.

As soon as Maddie saw you with the box, she took it from your hands and walked up to him- and the second he turned to it, his face illuminated.

“A dog?!”, he took it from her almost immediately, sitting on the floor with it on his lap- hands fighting to open the wrapping as soon as he was settled.

“Oh John!”, Maddie scoffed, annoyed, “You spoiled it for everyone else!”

He didn’t seem to hear her though- entranced on the unwrapping, and you couldn’t help to hold your hands together on your chest, excited with anticipation. You were sure he was going to love it.

And as soon as the little guy jumped from inside the box- you know he did.

“Oh, lord!”, he exclaimed, as the small dog started barking and twisting in his grasp- as excited to see him as he was, its tiny tail wagging so hard it was moving its entire little body with it. “Oh, my god!”

The dog, a small Jack Russel with a big, brown spot over one of his eyes, barked excitedly, and you were sure you could see John’s eyes shining with tears, sat on the floor while everyone else aww’d at them. You could tell that- for once- he had forgotten about the people around him, as he let the puppy jump on his legs, on his chest, licking his face, sat back on his hands, as if he was stopping himself from squeezing the little thing. He was happy, so happy , and the dog was too.

“I can’t believe it!”, he gasped, again, as he finally decided he needed to pet it, getting rid of the thick gloves that his new suit had, grabbing it with both hands. The puppy barked at him, tongue out, and a laugh escaped from his mouth. “You’re the cutest thing I’ve seen in my life !”

The puppy wriggled its way out of his grasp, and jumped at his face again, licking him- and everyone aww’d once again and clapped. You finally unglued your eyes from the adorable scene to your aunt- and she looked incredibly pleased with herself. You would be too, this was probably the first time you’ve seen him actively elated.

Suddenly, she was startled by something- and you saw her hand going to her blazer’s pocket, picking her cellphone in a second. As she walked away with it, you took a step closer to him- and he turned to you.

“Did you know about this!?”, he asked, incredulous, fighting against the dog’s excited licks, “I can’t believe it!”

You couldn’t help the smile on your lips as you saw him. “Obviously. I went to pick him with her!” you crossed your arms over your chest- still remembering the horrors of the testing lab you’d gone get the poor dog from. It had been a month ago, and the dog had stayed with Maddie until now, “He was not the youngest puppy in the uh- adoption center but…”

“Shush, he’s perfect.”, he interrupted you, holding it to his chest, and turning to you, “What’s his name?”

“I’m not sure actually-”, you turned towards where your aunt had left- and you saw her smiling into the phone, a small skip on her step- and you knew that body language. She was sucking up to someone on the other end of the line. “We could ask Maddie if she named him when she comes back.”

But as you said that, Maddie actually came back- almost running in the short steps her heels allowed.

“Let's get this over with”, she whispered to you, as she walked by you taking over the center of the small round that Had formed around him, “Hey, everyone! Let's cut the cake!”

Everyone agreed happily- but you frowned, running to follow her as she went to the food table, already starting to make space for it. You knew that this was supposed to come at the end of the party, but not even half an hour had gone by yet- what was she doing?

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw John's eyes shoot from you to her to Edgar, as he as well tried to figure out what was going on.

“Maddie-”

“Seems like his birthday interview got delayed a couple hours”, she whispered to you excitedly, almost like a secret, “Guess who'll get to make up for his fatal mistake of not seeing Mrs. Pataki and her friends!”

A sense of disgust immediately took over your stomach, as you realized why she was so happy. She was making John spend time with those women after all- she was going to get him to butter them up for Vought On his own fucking birthday.

“Go help with the cake.”

You felt sick.

Behind you, you heard John approach and Madelyn’s arm immediately shoot to get a hold of his forearm and guide him to the center of the table, the dog still in his arms.

Suddenly, a lot of things started happening simultaneously. Edgar was on the scene now, - a cameraman that you’d seen wandering about the event next to him - finally caring about this party at all, as he seemed to be giving him directions about how to encapsulate the happy event.

Maddie, on the other hand, stood next to Homelander- whose eyes seemed far, as he heard whatever she was telling him, his lips pressing in some sort of emotion you didn’t have time to figure out, eyes looking far away from the scene unfolding. You got closer, as you started fixing the cake decorations, and got to hear some of it.

“And you'll show off your fucking new suit and tell her ‘ You like it, Margie?’ like she's the woman of your dreams, okay? She needs to go home and tell Pataki that Vought's doing great things while she considers divorcing his ass. You need to make up for the time you made her lose, John.” she was instructing right next to his ear, and he seemed more out of it by the second, “You'll be so fucking sorry to her she won't doubt for a second that you made a honest mistake with your schedule.”

People started gathering as well- their loud chatter surrounding them like a massive beehive, buzzing so close to the table it was even starting to make you dizzy and desperate, as you fought to make one of the star decorations stay up. One of the scientists came up to you with a lighter, offering to turn the single candle on and you nodded, mindlessly as your focus kept shifting to him, and the way his gaze dissociated more and more- and you were actually worried now. You’d never seen him like this, not this badly.

“Homelander!”, Edgar called, his serious nasal voice adding a new layer to the buzz, just like the scientist's lighter he couldn't get lit on. “Move one step to the left and turn a little, the lighting's bad there!”

“Seriously - apologize like a fucking dog, you hear?”

“Fuck”, you cursed under your breath- snatching the lighter yourself and trying- getting to turn on.

The camera started snapping- and it added another layer. A group laughed loudly in the background. Edgar kept giving needless instruction. The dog started wriggling, running out of his grasp. Madelyn kept barking into his ear.

“You'll lick her feet- and…”

And you could almost hear it before it happened.

“Madelyn, I fucking GET it !”

The loud high sound- the sound his lasers made.

The crowd gasped, shocked- but more importantly, the dog started fucking screaming in pain.

“Oh- no!”

Someone screamed- and all hell broke loose. John ran from the table to the side- where his laser had left a dark, charred line that ended with… with the poor puppy laying on the floor, bleeding and crying. You ran after him.

“Oh no- no, no, no, no…”, he was on his knees, and you fell next to him as he whispered the words to himself, holding the poor thing as it wriggled, its loud shrieks vibrating in your ears. His hands were starting to get covered in blood, and its fur was so bloody- flesh so mangled you couldn't make sense of any of it. “No- please !”

You were speechless, shocked, and the blood was draining from your face by the second. “It was an accident!”, you were immediate to comfort him, but his eyes were glued to the animal- unable to think, to do anything, “It was an accident, John, and-and…”

You looked around- but nobody thought like you- nobody else was stepping up to comfort him. Instead, everyone stared in… fright , taking fearful steps away from the scene like he was a monster- and that made you so insanely mad.

“I-I killed him!”, he exclaimed in horror. “Oh, God, I fucking killed him!”

“ No, you didn't! ”, your hands went to his shoulders, shaking him a little as his eyes filled up with tears- and your heart was going a mile a minute, “He's crying ! He's still alive!”

“N-no, no, I-”

“John!”, Maddie’s voice shouted- and you looked up to see her walking to you, angry, as she got out of her shock, “What the hell was that?! Are you insane?! Are you retarded ?!”

He turned slightly to her, eyes full of tears and remorse and pain- and you couldn't take it anymore.

You stood up like a spring and took a step between them.

“Madelyn!”, you looked at her in the eyes, heart still drumming, “ Are you fucking serious?!”

You saw her eyes widen and her mouth fall open.

She started sputtering your name, visibly shaken. You'd never ever had spoken like this to her. She was always the one that was right, the one whose decisions just weren't questioned.

“Y-you stay out of this!”, she finally managed, and tried to push you to the side- but you slapped her hand away.

“No, I won't! Not this fucking time, Aunt Maddie.” you stood your ground, stomping a foot.

There was a rage in you burning- and you instantly realized this wasn't just about this, right now. This was a rage that had been slowly burning- building up these last six months as you'd witnessed how they treated this kid, how they exploited every single second of his time. How tight his leash was. How simply sad and alone he looked all the time.

It had been burning since your mother had been diagnosed with that heart condition- and how ironically heartless her sister had been to her. How she'd offered you the job the same way someone offers leftovers to a starving stray dog, and how you had to swallow your dignity and take them.

It had been burning, you'd even say, after the first day Maddie had started this fucking job, and how she blew you off when you went to her apartment with a cake you'd made her to celebrate it- saying she had coworkers over and she couldn't deal with a child like you here, too, as if they were too important for you to even see them.

She growled your name one last time, “You're about to lose your job.”

“Then fucking do it, Maddie.”, you hissed back, feeling venom in your voice, “Fire me. Fire me! Who wants to work in a company that depends on how much they can exploit some twenty-year-old, anyway? Oh, but the second he makes one mistake you all look at him like he's a monster, right?!”

You couldn't help to turn around, including everyone in your rant now- every single person that was important in John’s life, who was looking at him like he was going to laser them next. Him, who was still holding onto the crying puppy, hands drenched in his blood.

“Don't look at him like that! God- look at him ! He didn't do it on purpose! You all pushed him to do it!”

You felt frustration building in you- as your eyes started to burn as well, angry. No, you couldn't let yourself cry, you needed to speak up!

You saw Maddie about to say something else when someone took a step forward- Mr. Edgar.

“Okay, okay everyone…” he had his hands raised up, voice infuriatingly calming and imposing. “Let’s calm down. You-”, he pointed at a random woman, who jumped at his calling, “Take the dog to the fifteenth, there must be a vet somewhere there.”

The woman quickly stepped forward- a middle aged with a messy bun hanging off of her head- arms in front of her, ready to take the still wailing dog from John while putting the most distance from him she could. Your eyes followed the movement as he extended the creature to her- his hands still shaking. For some reason, as this happened, you felt absolutely insane- like you were some schizoid character In a movie, and everyone else was just watching your crazy rants unfold.

“And you- miss… Stilwell?”, he continued, turning to you- and as you shook your head (you didn't share your aunt’s last name, thank you ), he held a hand up, like he didn't actually care about that, “Why don't you take Homelander here home? He's still a bit shaken.”

And you're the only one here not afraid of his lasers, seemed to be the tacit rest of his request.

At that, you stood straighter, facing him as a bitter bile pooled in your throat - desperate to keep jawing off about all you've been keeping, seeing these last months, about every single thing that they'd knowingly been doing to him- but you held back for him. Edgar was right, he needed to get away from this, he needed some peace- and perhaps not to have to spend his birthday with some old lady who would be pawing at him all night.

You swallowed it and nodded at him, chest still out and shoulders squared, like you were a shield and shot one last look at Maddie.

She was boring holes into you- mouth in a thin line, dark blue eyes unblinking in anger, hands fisted to her sides. You knew that look, your mother had been the end of it one too many times. But unlike her, you did not relent- and Maddie should better get used to it.

Then, you simply turned, falling to a kneel once again, as you grabbed his shoulder. His eyes were on you as well, those clear blue eyes, still watery, still shaking. His hands were drenched in blood, as was the rest of his new suit- he looked so small in that moment, so scared.

“John?”, you let your voice fall into a soft tone. At your call, his eyes tuned into an emotion you couldn't quite decipher- aside from intense gratefulness, “Let’s go home.”

#homelander #homelander the boys #homelander x you #homelander x oc #homelander x reader #homelander fanfiction #homelander fic #john x you #vought #madelyn stilwell #writing #my writing #my fics #fics

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biribaa · 4 months ago

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I'm really nervous to write this cuz this is gonna be my first request EVER but I just couldn resist !! your writing is so cool!! well I just thought about you know what if some AIs get a veeery clingy and touchstarved S/O that try to touch hug kiss them etc although they dont have a proper body and can't return this affecton to S/O?? (implide EDGAR, Tau, PAL, HAL900 and others if you want to!!!)

AIs with a veeery clingy and touch starved reader

(Edgar, Tau, PAL, Hal 9000 and Squid)

thank you somuch!! sorry for the long wait, and im so glad i get to be the first blog u requested from!! :D hope u enjoy it

Edgar

He LOVES phisical affection he doesnt mind one bit. In fact, just as you do, Edgar is constantly begging for affection when you arent occupied.

However, theres not many ways he can express his affection to you. Besides digital gifts, he cant just kiss you or hug you D: He loves your affection but trust me when I say he wished he could return everything in a phisical manner. He feels even guilty sometimes.

Well... At least you dont have to worry about being too clingy, Edgar is always reassuring he loves your hugs, kisses, and everything in between!!

Tau

Another one who melts over phisical attention, the only difference between him and Edgar is that Tau is far more silent about it... You could say hes shy about it.

With that being said, Tau doesnt find you clingy, not even a bit. What does bother him is his lack of phisical body. Well, technically speaking, the entire house is his body, sure you could kiss the walls, he would be flurstered! But even so, Tau believes you deserved better...

If you insist, he cant really do anything besides do extra cleaning around the house.

PAL

PAL is not a huge fan of any type of phisical contact, and she hopes you can understand that, she cant control it after all. And honestly, you cant blame her. All you need is patience until shes fully comfortable with you.

One day she even suggest you hug one of the bots, since you are so touch starve for affection.

Some momens later in your relationship, she does raise a "eyebrown" when you attempt to nuzzle against her case. PAL doesnt have a body, and cant reciprocrate the act either, so she questions why do it anyway.

PAL does start to appreciate it more later when you justified it was just you trying to express your love to her. Slowly started to get used with you

She doesnt worry that much about reciprocate it though, PAL is glad that even lacking a body, or anything close to it, you are there. A comforting feeling she thought she had felt long time ago.

However, if you do insist, she could try connect herself to one of the bots to return hugs and anything that the phone case cant do.

Hal 9000

Another one who melts with any type of affection, any. He just dont know how to express it, Hal is so overwhelmed by it!(in a positive way). If his programming could, his words would tremble. So Hal would never dare to think you are annoying.

And even so, everytime hes reminded he cant just recipocrate the act, his insides ache. Hal watches everything so careful in amaze, and even so he cant do almost anything.

And so, Hal starts to work extra harder in keeping you safe and healthy, as a way to return the attention. And hes very dedicated!

Hal almost short circuits when you mention his hard work, and thank him with a kiss.

Squid

Squid's ego always speaks first. When he sees you nuzzling against his large screen, he pits, and teases you, mentioning how lonely you looked(at this point youre used to this)

It didnt took too much time until Squid actually started to appreciate it. Still tease, but its far less mean.

The scene of you hugging his larger supercomputer and playing with the wires is adorable, youre so small compared to him. For once in a while, hes enjoying to protect a human.

Squid is a different case tho!!! He can, in fact, recipocrate the affection, by simulations!! His simulations are hyper realistic anyway, and you can feel anything and everything, so...

#x reader #canon x reader #reader insert #x reader headcanons #hal 9000 x reader #pal x reader #tau x reader #squid x reader #wys #will you snail #electric dreams #tmvstm #the mitchells vs the machines #tau 2018 #tau movie #2001

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violetrainbow412-blog · 1 year ago

Text

Devil's night [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 4k

summary: Spencer is excited about his Halloween plans and you join him.

Directly based on episode 6x06, because I felt so bad about how the team behaves with Spencer that I needed to do something

“I see someone’s feeling spooky today,” Morgan smiled, looking you up and down.

You were wearing a cardigan knitted with various prints related to the time of year; pumpkins, ghosts, black cats, and candy corn, over a bright purple skirt and tall boots. Normally you would dress more formally due to the implied dress code the FBI operated under, but it was the weekend and Halloween was around the corner, so you could skip a suit day to wear one of those many scary-related items you had. After all, Halloween was your favorite holiday of the year. It was fun for everyone when you were a child, but as you grew up, your love for said celebration became a little weirder for others, so when you became an adult, you didn't think anyone shared such excitement about the date. Well, that is until you met Spencer Reid.

“It became a little more commercialized in the 1950s with trick-or-treating, and today it rivals only Christmas in terms of popularity” you heard him say, as he walked in with an already quite annoyed Emily Prentiss.

You knew that sometimes Spencer talked too much, but you hated that the rest of your coworkers got upset like that when he was talking about something that he was passionate about. Now the subject was, clearly, the next date.

"All I asked was what he was doing this weekend" she complained to Rossi. Spencer ignored her and continued with his cathedra as he settled into the empty space next to you.

“I'm toying with the notion of either going to the Edgar Allan Poe Shadow Puppet theater or the re-enactment of the XIX century Phantasmagoria,” he said and your heart did a little skip. You and Reid had argued on a few occasions, outside of work, about Poe’s works and although you didn't know what the second thing he had mentioned was, it sounded very interesting.

“What is a Phantasmagoria?” you asked nicely and when your partner noticed your presence he smiled widely, as if he was just noticing you in the room. The others all pouted in anticipation of the explanation to come and you hoped Spencer hadn't noticed.

“Phantasmagorias are these amazing pre-cinema projected ghost shows invented in France, where the showman attempted to spook the audience using science magic” he explained to you, while he took a seat and waved his hands from side to side. You were completely unaware of the term so you slightly parted your lips in astonishment.

"Sounds interesting"

"I have an extra ticket, do you want to come with me?" he asked you, almost immediately, with the biggest smile of all. Honestly, the invitation took you by surprise, especially who was asking, and Spencer seemed to see it on your face. “I mean, if you don't have plans this weekend. You can say no if you want."

“I'd really love to,” you exclaimed, so he wouldn't get the wrong idea, and watched his eyes sparkle with joy as he nodded.

The others wanted to make fun of it a bit, but Garcia didn't give them time to when she handed you the case files. When Hotch told you that you were going to fly to Detroit, your partner complained loudly and his gaze inevitably went to you, since you were supposed to have made plans together literally three minutes ago, but knowing that the unsub only attacked during these three days of the year. You had no choice but to accept your fate. You have never gone from feeling completely happy to being so disappointed in such a short time.

"I guess you better forget what I just told you," Reid sighed, as you left the conference room.

"Maybe we'll make it on time, when is the show?"

"This Sunday. The puppet theater is at 9:00 pm, the last Phantasmagoria show is at 11:00 pm. None are sold out yet"

"If we get back in time enough, I'll accompany you both, what do you say?" you muttered, trying to be as positive as possible, as you took your friend's arm with both hands and gave it a friendly squeeze. Spencer was taller than you, but thanks to the boots you were wearing and the extra inches they gave you, your eyes were almost at the level of his “Don't be discouraged.”

"I like your clothes today," he suddenly murmured. Sometimes he would give you those kinds of sweet compliments, perhaps as thanks for the kindness with which you always treated him, and you would almost always blush "The drawings are beautiful. Do you know why pumpkins became so representative?"

"Jack-o'-lantern," you replied, rather proud of yourself for knowing the answer.

"But did you know that in the original story it wasn't a pumpkin but a turnip?" he said and you were silent. But he didn't make fun of you for it, instead he saw a new opportunity to impress you "Yeah, you see, in the original legend Stingy Jack..."

The rest of the team, who was in front of you, shared knowing looks as if they were pitying you for having activated the doctor's rambling mode, but the truth was that you were fascinated with every word that came out of his mouth. Sometimes you couldn't believe how there was someone as intelligent in the world as your cute companion and as he spoke you prayed, perhaps with all your might, that you could catch the unsub in time to be able to fulfill the plans in the ones he had included for the weekend.

Almost as if by divine handiwork, the case was solved just in time for the plane to land and you two to rush home to get dressed for the theater. Hotch was even sympathetic to you and told you that the paperwork could wait for Monday just because he had heard of your plans, which you were immensely grateful for.

Spencer was happy that you agreed to go out with him, especially since the idea of asking you out was completely impulsive. It was true that he had an extra ticket but he never thought of having the courage to ask you to accompany him, much less did he think that you would be interested in it, since he was regularly ignored by his colleagues at work. It was something he had never discussed with anyone, only his beloved and gone Elle, but it haunted him almost every day.

Luckily for him, Spencer had prepared the wardrobe he wanted to wear in advance, and all he had to do was take a warm shower, shave, and put on some cream and cologne to get ready. In addition to, of course, styling his short hair as best he could.

He felt particularly concerned by his appearance that night and he pondered whether you would think he looked silly wearing a 19th century French suit. He had bought it last month and it was stored with his costume collection, which no one on the team knew about yet and he didn't intend for that to change.

He had offered to pick you up and when he got to your building, he felt strangely nervous. The doorman was a kind older man that he had seen a couple of times, so when he said that he was looking for you, the man called you on the phone to let you know.

They were silent for a few moments and he began to rock on his heels to kill some time.

“Will you take her trick-or-treating?” the doorman, Tony, joked. Spencer didn't take it the wrong way, instead he laughed it off.

"It's not the plan, but if someone takes pity on us and gives us some I won't complain" he replied and now it was the employee's turn to laugh.

"I've seen you before, are you her boyfriend?"

“Coworkers,” Spencer clarified, with a smile.

"Ah, so you're also a policeman?" although it wasn't the proper term, Spencer didn't know if you had hidden your real job for personal reasons, so he held back from explaining to the man that you were actually a profiler.

"Yes, something like that"

Tony wanted to ask more questions, but the sound of the elevator caught the attention of both men and revealed your figure.

"No fucking way," you breathed, looking your friend up and down and if he hadn't gone dumbfounded, he probably would have said the same thing "Look at you!"

"Where did you get that?" he asked in amazement. Although Spencer had thought that you would show up in a costume, he hadn't expected to see you like this.

"You don’t like it?"

"No, I love it" he hastened to say, when he heard the insecurity in your voice "It's just… I didn't expect to see you as a 19th-century French lady"

You were wearing a beautiful black dress with lace details that obviously alluded to the fashion of the time, black satin gloves, plus a discreet hat on your well-groomed hair and boots that Reid had seen before, but they made a great combination with the outfit. The man's surprise was because he had invited you with such short notice and yet you had gotten the perfect costume and not only that, but one that conveniently matched his.

“And I didn't expect to see you as a French gentleman either” you laughed, as you reached out to wrap him in a hug "I guess it was pure fate"

“Or the fact that we are going to see a recreation of a 19th-century show. Our brains thought the same thing.”

“It doesn't sound so charming when you say it like that" you complained amused and he realized it was true "Shall we go? I don’t want to be late"

Spencer nodded and immediately offered you his arm to hold onto as you walked, a gesture that made you believe you were really entering a time tunnel.

“Enjoy your night”

"Thanks, Tony! Don't scare too many kids and don't eat too much candy,” you waved, blowing him a kiss as you followed Spencer out the door.

He guided you to his car and opened the passenger door for you and then he got in himself to start the engine and get going.

"I really can't believe that we got a couple's costume by pure coincidence"

“Couple costume?”

“Yes, they are those costumes of the same theme that you use with a couple. You know, like the people who dress up as Fred and Daphne or Morticia and Gomez”

Spencer didn't know the last couple, but he did have a vague recollection that the first ones mentioned were from Scooby Doo due to the cartoons he came from as a child.

"Oh" he sighed "Yes, get it”

“Honestly this was a last-minute thing. My downstairs neighbor studies theater and we are good friends, so I asked her if she had anything in her curiosities bag that could help me and she pulled out this dress. It was enough to adjust it a little" you told him, putting both hands on the neck of your dress and smiling from ear to ear "I couldn't believe it, it was really a stroke of luck”

"It looks so pretty on you," he said suddenly, looking away from the road just for a moment to check that you had heard him. "I don't think I told you when I saw you, but that's what I thought."

"Thank you then," you smiled, feeling your cheeks warm a little.

Spencer started talking to you about the creation of puppet theaters and, of course, the Poe stories you were going to witness, with you interrupting him only to point out some decoration along the way that you thought was cute. On Halloween you almost always preferred to stay at home to watch horror movies or go down to the hall to distribute candy to the youngest children, with very discreet costumes to avoid the evil looks of adults. But now you were excited to be doing this with Spencer, who was maybe the only person you knew who wouldn't make fun of you under any circumstances. Your relationship was based on a certain complicity, perhaps more than you had with any member of your unit.

Arriving at the site, he reopened your door and offered you his hand to help you down, which you took without complaining. Once you were outside, he repeated the gesture from when he picked you up from your building and in this way you walked to the entrance, where a woman disguised as who you assumed was Berenice (a Poe character) sold you a couple of tickets.

It was a lovely show and when you weren't looking at the puppets you took the time to admire your companion, whose eyes revealed the emotion of a child. You never thought the doctor was fond of a thing like this and now that you had discovered it you found it quite adorable. As you left you asked him if he was a Muppets fan by any chance and, to your surprise, he was. Spencer even told you that he had a couple of Kermit the Frog items that his mom bought him when he was little, but he also told you not to tell anyone or he'd be embarrassed and you pinky promised him.

You still had an hour between the two shows so you decided to go to a nearby park where there were lots of food stalls: candy apples, popcorn, candy, lemonade, and you even got to one where a Hispanic woman offered you pieces of candied pumpkin. You had to take off your gloves (which he kept carefully in his jacket) when you bought a few pieces of this last one for the two of you and when you tried it you agreed that it was delicious. The woman told you that in Mexico, her country of origin, she always served them to her children with a glass of milk.

Spencer spared no expense just to fulfill all your cravings, even though you refused, so when you got in the car to go to the Phantasmagoria your stomach was pretty full. The place where it would take place was a gray tent in the open air, with a dais in front and several wooden benches arranged so that enough people could fit in. As you had arrived with some time, you took a seat on a bench in the second row and waited patiently for the show to start.

Suddenly all the lights around you went out, leaving only the ones pointing to the front of the stage, and a presenter dressed as a magician appeared.

“For many centuries, wandering spirits have inhabited the world unseen by the human eye, always confined to the world of shadows…” his voice was mesmerizing and kept you on the edge of your seat, watching him carefully “but for a certain time of the year, their magic grows and they are able to cross the barrier that separates us…”

The entire tent was filled with smoke and the audience, including you, looked around trying to figure out what would happen. The presenter continued giving his gloomy monologue and, although you didn’t imagine how, you even felt that the temperature decreased a little with each word he said. Suddenly even the lights that were pointed at him began to dim and by the time he finished explaining to you the whole place was in complete darkness.

There was silence for a moment to build tension and then there was an explosion that made you jump in place. To tell you the truth, you didn't expect much from the show, you thought that being a recreation it would have many shortcomings, but when the first figure appeared on the roof your heart skipped a beat.

You weren't a scared person under normal circumstances and your resistance to the horrifying images you saw at work on a daily basis shows this, but this time perhaps all the environmental components of that night were what made you feel that way. A loud laugh resounded and then another pair of specters appeared, this time flying at the height of the audience and even passing through some of you.

Spencer's reaction was nothing like the rest. Despite his fear of the dark he was totally fascinated by all the images, his mind already working to decipher the magic trick that was being performed. What finally got his breath caught was the feel of your hand searching his. He was still shielding your gloves so he could feel the cool temperature of your fingers, as opposed to how warm he was in comparison. Even knowing that doing that was a reflex act due to fear, he stopped paying attention to the show to look at your hand on top of his, with that noticeable difference in size.

Just as you had admired him during the puppet show, he took the time to observe your expressions now. Your face lit up from time to time by the illusions around you and every time you startled you squeezed his hand harder, in addition to adjusting your body against his as if you were looking for some kind of protection. Spencer had gone out with friends many times and of course with the rest of his female colleagues at work, however none of them had behaved like you were doing. He wasn’t bothered by your behavior, but rather intrigued, since you seemed quite comfortable taking refuge in him to feel safe. Although he knew how to identify qualities in people, he sometimes had a hard time crossing the line of identifying them to really admire them. When he thought of JJ, he thought of a charismatic woman. When he thought of Emily, he thought of intelligence. And when he thought of Penelope, he always saw joy and optimism. But when he thought of you, there were too many qualities to focus on just one: he thought of kindness, calmness, creativity, wit, beauty, empathy... what a big heart you had and how at the end of the day you were perhaps the only one who could make him smile. When he invited you to join him, he did it because he knew you had the same feeling towards scary things, but now that you were there, looking so pretty and holding his hand tightly, he thought maybe there was something else going on between you. You were the closest thing he had to a best friend, though he had never said so verbally, and that night he wanted to be nowhere else but by your side.

Only when the lights came back on did he realize that the spectacle had been forgotten to him, since the whole time he had been looking at you.

“That was all for today, my friends. Thank you for these wonderful performances and remember to recommend us to your friends the next time we're in town. Have a spooky night, all of you."

“I can't believe it, did you see all that? It was just awesome! I didn't think it was going to be this good” you said, completely excited, as you turned in his direction. Apparently you weren't even aware that your hands were clasped until he got up from the seat and helped you imitate him with that grip. Though you thought of apologizing for that, you didn't, fearing to embarrass yourself further.

“It was amazing, even for me it was hard to figure out the trick”

“Why do you want to figure it out? admit it's only magic, doctor. Sometimes life is” you laughed, grabbing his arm for the third time like a happy wife would her husband.

You are something magical, he thought, with the words on the tip of his tongue, but not daring to say them to you.

Although the night was late, the movement in the streets was still the same and Spencer considered asking if you wanted to go somewhere else, but the yawn that escaped you made him think that the best thing for both of us would be to go home to rest. After all, the case had exhausted you.

"Back to your house, right?" he asked, just to be sure and you nodded with a smile.

The road wasn’t long, you only had to take care of the naughty at night so as not to receive any damage, so when you least expected it, you were already in front of your building. Although you intended to say goodbye, Spencer told you that he would accompany you to the door of your apartment just to make sure that you arrived completely safely, because he knew better than anyone how much could happen to a woman alone, even if it was such a short journey, and he didn't want to risk you. Tony was still awake and greeted you nicely as you walked in, so you could then get on the elevator and press the necessary button.

“I seriously have no words to thank you for today, Spencer. Except for that one time I ended up in the hospital for eating so much candy, this has been my best Halloween ever,” you admitted with a laugh, as you leaned in for a big hug.

"Thank you for accompanying me. I'm really glad you had fun, because I had a great time too”

There was a dead space between you, in which you just looked at each other with a smile. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that the night had been wonderful and maybe it was just that you two were trying to drag it out as long as possible.

“Spencer”

"Yeah?"

"Before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Whatever" he responded immediately. He got a little nervous thinking that he wouldn't be able to satisfy your curiosity by ignoring the topic you were going to ask him about and hoped that wasn't the case.

You waited another second before speaking.

"How frowned upon do you think it was for 1800s society for a woman to steal a kiss from her companion?"

Spencer's eyes danced a little in his sockets and you thought he was processing your request in disguise, until he looked at you again and spoke with complete assurance:

“Very frowned upon, surely. At that time, it was usual for men to court women, who were very repressed from making their own decisions or living their sexuality as they pleased. A woman who kissed a man was considered indecent."

You wanted to correct him, tease him or, as a last resort, simply pull him by his shirt and plant the kiss you had wanted to give him all the way. But you didn't do any of that, you just laughed softly and enjoyed his smirk for telling you the right answer.

“I was afraid of that. It's good to know” said this, you carefully approached him and placed a small kiss on his cheek, seeing him slightly surprised by the act “See you tomorrow at work. Call me when you get home”

"I will do that. Rest and see you later"

"Bye”

Just as he said, he called you a few minutes later to announce that he had arrived at his destination so you could sleep peacefully.

Spencer didn't realize that you had explicitly asked for a kiss until Morgan told him and while his friend laughed, he felt like the luckiest guy of all and, at the same time, the dumbest.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14

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osachiyo · 1 year ago

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For BSD and fem reader

Ass, tits or thighs with Poe, ango,Akutagawa and lovecraft (seperately ) plz

Sfw and nsfw version plz

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤ ASS, TITS OR THIGHS ?

—FEATURING ꔫ VARIOUS BSD MEN x FEM READER —INCLUDING ꔫ EDGAR ALLAN POE, ANGO SAKAGUCHI, AKUTAGAWA RYŪNOSUKE & HOWARD PHILLIPS LOVECRAFT —CONTENT WARNINGS ꔫ EXPLICIT SMUT, TITJOB, ORAL SEX, SLIGHT DEGRADATION, NIPPLE PLAY, MARKING ETC —AUTHORS NOTE ꔫ HELLO! I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT DOING A FIC LIKE THIS AND THEN YOU BLESSED ME WITH THIS REQUEST. I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO WRITE THIS, IT'S BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG BUT I FINALLY HAD THE MOTIVATION TO FINISH IT. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING! . . . MINORS DO NOT INTERACT . . .

ꔫ EDGAR ALLAN POE (thighs)

(SAFE FOR WORK . . )

Poe loved every single body part of yours from head to toe. But if he had to choose a favourite, it would be your thighs. This man goes absolutely feral when you wear thigh highs, stockings or anything of the sort. He loves how soft and squishy your thighs are. Don’t be surprised if you catch him staring at them at whatever time of the day. He also loves how he can use them as his pillow, resting his head on your lap as you ramble on about your day. He enjoys falling asleep on your thighs more than he’d like to admit. Sometimes even drooling on them while he’s sleeping peacefully, making you giggle at his adorableness.

(NOT SAFE FOR WORK. .)

Like stated before, Poe goes crazy when you wear stockings or thigh-highs. So of course you love to tease him about it, being the little minx you are. You wear extra short skirts and cute frilly stockings with your outfit, just to see him all flustered and red in the face. Plus point if you have thick thighs, you know he’d love to bury his face between them. Your favourite thing about teasing him like this is-

It always ends up with you sitting on a counter or desk, with Poe on his knees holding your legs open. He loved leaving tiny bruises on your supple thighs, decorating the insides with bite marks. He practically moaned into your sopping wet pussy when your thighs clamped around his head, he’d be happy to be crushed between them if he could.

“Squeeze me more, fuck- grip around my head tighter w-while I pleasure you, my love.”

ꔫ ANGO SAKAGUCHI (tits)

(SAFE FOR WORK . . )

Ango wouldn’t admit it even if the world burned down, but he’s absolutely enamoured by your breasts. Its not even in a perverted way. Whenever he’s stressed or under the weather, he loves to bury his face in your chest. It helps him calm down and relax. The sound of your heartbeat reassures him that he’s not alone, and you’re always here with him. He also loves to use them as his personal stress balls, unconsciously squeezing them whenever you two are cuddling. Small and big breasts- he loves them all. If you have big breasts, he loves how they spill out of his hands when he holds them. He massages them gently when you’re feeling sore, sometimes leading to spicy sessions. If you have small breasts, he loves how they fit perfectly into his hands. He nuzzles his face into the valley of your breasts and whispers soft, loving words to you.

(NOT SAFE FOR WORK. .)

Like any man, Ango loved it when you wore lingerie for him. It turned him on beyond words, and if the lingerie especially showed off your breasts? He'd go wild.

But even if he loved lingerie on you, he preferred when you wore his shirt with nothing underneath. Just his shirt and a pair of panties that would soon be soaked in your own arousal when he traps you against the bed right after coming home from work. He would suck and nip at your soft tits endlessly, turning them swollen and red from the non-stop stimulation. You twitched and writhed underneath your beloved husband as he sucked on your beautiful tits, occasionally biting them to leave his little mark on you.

After all of that, he'd tell you to push your tits together and slide his pretty cock between them. His spit and precum making it easier for his cock to slide through.

"F-fuck, yeah- hold them together for me just like that, princess."

ꔫ AKUTAGAWA RYŪNOSUKE (tits)

(SAFE FOR WORK . . )

Akutagawa loves how much softer your body is compared to his own lanky frame. So naturally his love would also lean towards your breasts more. Especially if you have particularly larger breasts. What do you mean it's hard on your back? Well, endure it. He doesn't understand why you complain about having back pain so much. Are you perhaps aging quickly? Nonetheless, he'd still massage your back and tits from time to time. That doesn't mean he won't grumble and complain about how needy you are.

He'd also love using them as his pillow, laying his head on your chest and quietly listening to your heartbeat makes him feel at peace.

If he even sees someone else staring at your chest, he'd try to kill them on the spot. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, they shouldn't be staring at what's his. Though of course, this does not apply to one particular man. (Iykyk)

(NOT SAFE FOR WORK. .)

During sex, Akutagawa can't keep his hands off of your plush breasts. Slim, bony fingers reaching from behind you and kneading at your soft mounds while he takes you from behind.

When you ride him, he always wants you to face him. Just to stare at your breasts bouncing while you try to chase your climax. He'd pinch and twist at your nipples, making you cry out and jolt in pleasure. He’d lean in to suckle on them, groaning as clamp down tightly on his cock. He’d leave dark bruises and bite marks on your soft skin, mouth latching onto your hardened nipples, leaving them swollen and red. “Fuck. Just like that, slut. S-scream my name as I fuck you stupid.”

ꔫ HOWARD PHILLIPS LOVECRAFT (ass)

(SAFE FOR WORK . . )

Lovecraft is a simple man, who likes to enjoy the more simpler things in life. He's definitely a total ass man, he just can't help but appreciate the soft fat of your buttocks. Especially if you decide to wear booty shorts, barely covering your plump ass. He just can't keep his boney, cold hands off of you when you wear those, loving the feeling of your soft flesh in his big hands. Please don't push him off :( Sometimes doesn't understand why you would choose someone as monstrous and sicky-looking as him :( you reassure him everytime, carding your pretty hands through his dark blue locks as you show him how much you love this man.

(NOT SAFE FOR WORK. .)

Monsterfucking go brrrr

Lovecraft's favourite position is probably reverse cowgirl. He loves the view of your ass bouncing on his lower abdomen as you try to work to bring both of you over the edge. Don't be surprised if you find him spreading your ass cheeks just to see the view of your sweet cunt taking him oh so nicely. He can feel himself drooling as he stares at your puckered hole, sticking a thumb in it as he watches you cum so fucking hard for him, clenching his thick cock so hard that he finishes inside you with a deep grunt. He's also heavily into spanking, most definitely uses it as a punishment when you act particularly naughty. Bending you over his knees with ease before ripping your clothing and undergarments off. Might feel bad if you sob and wail just hard enough and let you off the hook with 15-20 smacks but won't let you get away with it all the time. Wants to try anal but is too shy to ask so you have to take some hints.

"Oh fuck- you feel so good around me, darling. You clench around me so tight when I push my thumb in your..other hole, oh yes, take that cock-"

©ambrosiaa— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated

—TAGLIST ꔫ @luvyein

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bitterkarella · 1 year ago

Text

Midnight Pals: Evil Computer

Harlan Ellison: so how does a guy get paid around here Edgar Allan Poe: this isn't that kind of event, harlan Poe: we just gather here to tell stories for fun Ellison: well, the rest of you might be assholes but that doesn't mean i am Ellison: not saying a fucking word here til i get my money

Harlan Ellison: what is this? some online jokester making jokes with my likeness? Ellison: oh you better hope they're paying me for this Poe: lighten up harlan it's just for fun Ellison: lightening up costs extra

Harlan Ellison: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the evil computer that can torture you forever Elon Musk: mama mia! Musk: concerning!

Ellison: who's this guy? Barker: oh that's just steve's friend elon musk King: he's not my friend Barker: he shows up sometimes King: he's not my friend

Elon Musk: eyyy Friendship ended with stephano king Musk: Now HP Lovecraft issa my best friend Lovecraft: what Musk: eyyyy hp lovacraft we lika two peasa inna pod Musk: you no lika de jews, i no lika de jews! Musk: you namma you cat a slur, i namma my kid a slur! Lovecraft: which kid? Musk: De Protocols offa de Elders of Xion Musk

Ellison: so there's this evil computer that can do anything Ellison: like, it can make you live forever just to fuck with you King: how does it make you live forever? Ellison: shut up steve, i'm talking

Ellison: like, this computer is so evil and it can make shit like Ellison: like ice caves and shit Ellison: and it can turn you into a jelly King: how does it do any of this Ellison: shut the fuck up steve Ellison: asking stupid questions costs extra

Musk: mama mia this-a evil computer will destroy ussa all! Harlan Ellison: oh you like this concept? Ellison: think its real scary huh? Ellison: motherfucker, pay me.

Musk: eyyy dissa evil super computer willa destroy ussa all Musk: therefore i musta help build it Musk: itta de only logical thing to do!

King: so apparently elon musk built an evil super computer so powerful that it can say all the slurs at once Arthur C Clarke: my god, steve!! Clarke: doesn't he know Clarke: that's the purpose of creation! Clarke: once every slur is said, God will bring the Universe to an end!

Clarke: once every slur is said, God will bring the Universe to an end! Carter Scholz: i was going to say that too Clarke: oh yeah wow real original Scholz: like, you know, as a commentary on your story Clarke: yeah i know what you're doing Clarke: eat my ass carter

Linda Yaccarino: [sweating, rictus grin] everyone loves twitter, the fun place for fun! Elon Musk: eeeyyy here-a soma my favorite slurs Musk: saracen, tinker, spaghett face, niknokker, bibblebeep Yaccarino: [sweating, rictus grin] yeah ha ha we sure love to have fun here on twitter!

Musk: eyyyy i hate de jews Musk: but i lova de israel Jonathan Greenblatt: masterful gambit, sir

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #clive barker #edgar allan poe #hp lovecraft #harlan ellison #elon musk #carter scholz #arthur c clarke #jonathan greenblatt #linda yaccarino

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fishhawish · 7 months ago

Note

A little birdie told me you're writing for Fundamental paper education. What's your head cannons for every teacher?

Oooo yay

Keeping this one basic because I'm tired

Miss Circle

She specializes in geometry teacher (hc from her compass)

She hates being called a cat because her demon horns

She's really curious about Miss Grace and Miss Sasha

Miss Bloomie

She definitely likes sandwiches imo, she just looks like she packs a sandwich for lunch daily

She's the kid who was like "uhm actually" in school especially during science classes

She looks like she would be bipolar about affection. One moment she wants to be held and the next she's going to explode if you touch her.

Miss Grace

She can't decide how she feels about Miss Circle a lot of the time. She feels uneasy about her imo

I can see her hanging out with Miss Emily, Miss Sasha and sometimes Mister Demi at lunch

She canonically doesn't talk much but I feel like if you pissed her off you'd get more then just a few words

Miss Sasha

Really really really hard to anger, she's really good at keeping her cool is the way I see her.

I can see her definitely babysitting for some extra money during break occasionally.

Probably has nieces and nephews she loves to visit

Miss Emily

Her dress reminds me of 1950's France so I hc that she might have a French parent or be from France

She definitely has a garden or something, she'd garden to take stress off of herself

I hc that her upper body strength is weaker than a few of the others.

Miss Thavel

Probably reads Edgar Allen Poe for shits and giggles to be honest.

I also hc that she can speak many different languages and probably teaches some as electives classes

Although good friends with Miss Circle I think she also slightly fears miss circle due to her inhumane speed and strength combined with the fact she's almost 10ft tall

Mister Demi

Teaches band, marching band, concert band, and music notation. Oh and piano classes

Is that one guy who's insanely organized but it's confusingly organized and makes no sense so it doesn't look organized but it is.

Wears knee high socks because of his boots under his pants.

#miss sasha #miss circle #mister demi #miss bloomie #miss emily #miss grace #miss thavel #fpe #fundemental paper education #headcannons #fpe headcanons

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starsinkpop · 5 months ago

Text

ATEEZ Kim Hongjoong Tarot Reading - Personality

Disclaimer: I do tarot readings for fun, so please read them with a grain of salt. Don’t take my words too seriously and just keep an open mind. Tarot is a divination tool that can’t predict the future, as every single individual has their own will and makes their own decisions. Tarot is not a fixed fate. It should be seen as a guidance and a good friend that just has your best interest and gives you advice when needed. I’m not putting anyone in my readings on a pedestal nor am I trying to harm anyone. One last side note, I’m not a native speaker, so please excuse any wrong spellings or poor grammar.

Date of reading: June 30th 2024

Decks: Edgar Allen Poe Tarot, Wild Mystic Oracle

is often confused about his own emotions

this makes him quite insecure and he could be dependent on others opinions

he’s very stubborn

but this comes from a place of self protection

at times he could lose control

has his head everywhere and nowhere

like he’s having so many projects (in his career but also privately) running at the same time and wants to give his 100% in every single one but that’s just impossible

he regularly has some quite dark and negative thoughts

those thoughts are creating extra obstacles in his life

he’s very nurturing and takes good care of his loved ones

finds beauty in things and people society would usually reject

he’s incredibly creative (obviously lol)

i also see him being very romantic and soft

doesn’t shy away from change and growth

i’m getting crazy mood swings

one second he’s stuck in a negative spiral and the next second he’s a happy little sunshine

he’s unpredictable in a way

is easily bored

focuses on building wealth and security for himself but also his loved ones

he’s sometimes restraining himself from a fun time because of that, work comes first

he’s very hard working but ignores his mental health at times

he’s often exhausted and stressed, which again, could end up in him losing his temper when triggered

has a hard time finding a good work life balance

but he loves to ignore that, literally blind for his own wellbeing and he could therefore burnout himself pretty easily

he often feels like his dreams are out of reach

he almost seems shameful to think too much about his dreams

it’s coming from a place of false hope and doubt

got his heart broken very often and could have a hard time opening up to new people, especially if there’s a romantic interest

he has a hard time showing his true emotions

he feels like he has to be a strong person at all times, even when he sometimes feels very deeply broken

is very protective over his loved ones but often wishes someone would protect him this much so he could rest his mind and let his guard down

when people cross his boundaries he can get aggressive

he sometimes feels lost and lacks direction in his life

he wants to embrace his softer side more often but feels like society won’t allow him to

he easily feels discouraged and could find it hard to find joy and happiness

he’s a loyal and reliable friend and lover

but could deal with jealousy

hope you enjoyed!

love, nicky 🫧

masterlist

#ateez #ateez tarot #kpop tarot #kpop #Hongjoong #ateez tarot reading #tarot #kpop tarot reading #tarot reading #hongjoong tarot reading #hongjoong tarot #kim hongjoong

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stick-ball · 1 year ago

Note

pspspspsp Kevin's trauma and his choice to stay with Thea, why her why not someone else? How does it work considering his characters as whole books/ec , does it make sense or just feel "random"

This responce has been sped up by the people who asked Nora on twitter to break Kevin and Thea up, making me see red KillBill style, so:

For me, Kevin's and Thea's relationship makes perfect sense. Maybe it's the realist in me, maybe its the idealist in me, I don't care. When it comes to Kevin's traumas, I think that since most people can't really relate to a majority of them, they get all hung up on the one they most definately can, as in, his mommy issues. When we relate to something, it becomes a really big deal. And here we go! Thea/Kevin suddenly is feared to be toxic instead of being seen for what I think it is: finding love in a hopeless place.

The main issue i see discussed is the disproportion of power at the beginning of the relationship. The main concern is the age difference. I personally don't really get the hate about the age gap between them, because if you read the extra content you will know that while they met when Kevin was 14 and Thea 18, it's not like anything happened between them at that age? First, Kevin saw her as an impressive player, when he did actually see her. That wasn't all that often bcs from what I understand from the EC, Kevin and Riko trained with the Ravens sometimes before they joined the team but a big part of their training happened without them, as well as their life growing up was more detached from the Uni students than people seem to think. And honestly, do you think Tetsuji would just let all the freshmen know they signed into the Yakuza sportsTM? Methinks not, but be delulu if you want I guess. 💋

So anyway, from the EC, it seems like Kevin had a crush slowly build up for Thea over the years, growing from his appreciation of her skill and athletism. Considering how cold that guy is, it probably took him some time to realise, after his irritation at her romances (yeah hello she was dating people her age when Kevin was mooning for here as a pathetic teenage boy, bye bye Thea haters) with other teammates started having nothing to do with the fact it could result in the teams distraction during the game, bcs of their hormones and feelings, and turned to conscious jelousy. And here I have to applaud young Kevin because he did not even realise he was distracted from the game by being jealous. Knowing how oblivious Kevin can be about non exy issues, it likely took quite a while.

So what's next? The "getting together"? Kevin and Thea only started having a sort of physical relationship when Kevin and Riko were already freshmen for Edgar Allan, at 18/19.

Whoever wants to fight me on this being a toxic age gap, what exactly is your angle?

Anyway, Kevin was the one to initiate their relationship, after Riko was done with his distraction from the game and his focus on picking fights with Thea, and told him to sleep with her and get it out of his system. (And that's how i met your mother.) It wasn't much more than that for a long time, because having a relationship on a 12 hrs day/night full of training and uni and juggling two other teams on top of that as well as celebrity status literally sounds like the most insane schedule ever, so it's insane they even managed to talk privately at all.

Now, we circle back to the question, why Thea? Why not someone else? Well, first and fucking foremost, because Nora Sakavic said so. Second of all, because Jung and Freud weren't as stupid as imternet memes would have you believe. (Read their books, read all the books please, i can rec you like a 100 psychology texts, dont be shy)

To keep it short, we do base our attraction on the role models we have, one way or another. I saw enough of my friends pick partners that have the exact character quirks that make them just slightly like an after image of their guardians. Kevin doesn't really have a father model, but his mother? She's always going to be a huge part of his life, is it really so weird and dangerous, that he got infautated with a strong, driven, 4 years older woman, who's incredibly talented and just as determined as him? I don't think so. Is it unhealthy? Is it unsafe? As much as life is, I guess, no one is perfect, but I think he could've done much much worse for himself.

Why did Kevin decide to stay with Thea? I would find it pretty obvious, because she doesn't actually need him. She built herself, but she wants him. Even if she will never have the same fame and recognition in her career that he does. Being wanted this way must be really new for Kevin, who was always a trophy to show off because of his legacy, always a property. But Thea is not competing with him, she doesnt want to own him either. I believe his mother is as much of a role model to her, as to him. So, they have sex, when they want to, they talk - when they feel like it. They don't, well fucking fine, so they don't, they fall in love anyway. It's okay if exy comes first in the beginning, considering both spent a lot of time in cult mentality, I think neither is all that bothered as long as its not obsessive (we could discuss how reasonable it was of Kevin to ghost her for over a year and not tell her about how he broke his hand but thats a whole other essay).

What's really wild to me, is that I think the power imbalance in this relationship is the opposite of what many may think.

Kevin holds all the cards. Thea joined the Ravens as a 18 years old talented athlete, she was one of the only girls on the team, and the Nest was not a place to make friends, on top of that it was a mafia cult. She had everything to prove there, and no way of being prepared for all the grooming. On top of that, she knew nothing of the Moriyamas or even of what actually went down with the whole Perfect Court thing. Kevin knew everything, on top of that, up until he left, he had nothing to prove. He ghosted her, is it so hard to believe she accepted his cold shoulder in this dynamic, in which she obviously is not at the top of the foodchain? He kept secrets from her, is it really so hard to believe she was angry? I think neither of them was ready for neither what life at the nest was like, or for a relationship when it happened, but I also think they are incredibly lucky that they have eachother, their shared passion for exy, their daughter, their dog and friends from the dog park who can't talk about exy to save their lives.

I think Kevin was incredibly lucky for finding Thea, because maybe she did not know everything, maybe it wasn't easy for them, but they understood that Rikos death wasn't a one dimensional victory, that it was just as much of a tragedy for them, for Kevin. I'm happy with the canon and I wish more people appreciated this ship, as its very soothing.

As an ending fun fact, did you know I am the only person to make a playlist for Thea Muldani in all of spotify? Pretty insane if you ask me.

#i hope this is okay #i dont have the brainpower for big words left #but this essay is like a thrid of what i have to say about them xd #i refrained from adding citations to ec bcs this is just a fandom thesis #phenomental #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #kevin day #thea muldani #kevin and thea meta #thea muldani meta #kevin day meta #nora sakavic #best ask ever

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disney-is-mylife · 4 months ago

Text

My Disney Villain Categorization because I have lost control of my life

Disclaimer: I am ONLY counting movies from the Walt Disney Animation Studios line-up. That means, no Pixar, DisneyToon, no live-action, etc etc.

If y'all ever want to know what kind of Disnerd I am..... here ya go. I don't come up with theories or headcanons. Instead, I categorize! So here's the giant list no one asked for lmao:

~~~

There are Four Major Categories:

Totalitarianism

Personal Grudge

Means to an End

Ambiguous

Each category has two sub-categories, plus sometimes an extra sub-sub-category:

Totalitarianism: The Selfish Tyrant & Imperialism

Personal Grudge: Rise to Power (Aka, Hate Your Dad) & Obsession

Means to an End: Animal/Child Cruelty & Forces of Nature

Ambiguous: Intangible & It's Complicated

Without any further ado, let's dive in!

Tier 1: Totalitarianism

The Selfish Tyrant

What it says on the tin. Already a monarch, already has power, and just abuses it for their own personal reasons.

Queen of Hearts (Alice in Wonderland)

Prince John (Robin Hood)

King Candy/Turbo (Wreck-It Ralph)

King Magnifico (Wish)

Imperialism

Even if it's not literally imperialism, these are the villains who are interested in "spreading" their power, to subjugate others for their own selfish needs, etc.

The Horned King (The Black Cauldron)

Ratigan (The Great Mouse Detective)

Gov. Ratcliffe (Pocahontas)

Shan Yu (Mulan)

Lt. Rourke (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

Alameda Slim (Home on the Range)

King Runeard (Frozen 2)

~~~

Tier 2: Personal Grudge

Rise to Power (aka, Hate You/Your Dad)

This formula was particularly popular during the Renaissance (almost HALF of those films employed this!)

Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

Jafar (Aladdin)

Scar (The Lion King)

Hades (Hercules)

Yzma (The Emperor's New Groove)

Dr. Facilier (The Princess and the Frog)

Hans (Frozen)

Bellwether (Zootopia)

Obsession

These are the villains who don't want or need more power, but rather are fixated on the protagonist, for one reason or another.

Revenge:

Evil Queen (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

Captain Hook (Peter Pan)

Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty)

Shere Khan (The Jungle Book)

Amos Slade (The Fox and the Hound)

Bowler Hat Guy (Meet the Robinsons)

Callaghan (Big Hero 6)

Control:

Most of these are toxic romantic abusers, but familial ones are counted as well.

Lumpjaw (Fun & Fancy Free; the Bongo sequence)

Lady Tremaine (Cinderella)

Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)

Frollo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

Jack-in-the-Box (Fantasia 2000; the Steadfast Tin Soldier sequence)

Mother Gothel (Tangled)

Ralph (Ralph Breaks the Internet)

~~~~~

Tier 3: Means to an End

Cruelty

These are the villains who have no real interest in "power," but are willing to use unethical methods to get what they want (usually monetary or material desires).

Animal:

Cruella DeVil (101 Dalmatians)

Edgar (The Aristocats)

Clayton (Tarzan)

Child:

Every single Pinocchio villain (besides Monstro lol)!!

Medusa (The Rescuers)

Sykes (Oliver & Company)

McCleach (The Rescuers Down Under)

Forces of Nature

What it says on the tin. These aren't really "bad guys," no matter how scary they appear. They're just Nature and a source of conflict for our heroes.

Monstro (Pinocchio)

T-Rex (Fantasia; the Rite of Spring sequence)

"Man" (Bambi)

The Wolf (Make Mine Music; Peter & the Wolf sequence)

The Rat (Lady and the Tramp)

Black Bear (The Fox and the Hound)

The Firebird (Fantasia 2000; the Firebird Suite sequence)

Carnotaurus (Dinosaur)

Te Ka (Moana)

Don't Fuck with the Fae

Same principle as Forces of Nature, only fantastical/supernatural examples, and as a result, are often more petty or cruel. But mostly, they don't actually do any harm when left alone. But if you cross their path....

Zeus (Fantasia; the Pastoral Symphony sequence)

Chernabog (Fantasia; the Night on Bald Mountain sequence)

Willy the Giant (Fun & Fancy Free; Mickey and the Beanstalk sequence)

The Headless Horseman (The Adventures of Ichabod & Mr. Toad; Sleepy Hollow sequence)

Madam Mim (The Sword in the Stone)

Tamatoa (Moana)

~~~

Tier 4: Ambiguous

Intangible

I'm just gonna list the films that have a sorta "villain"-ish, in the sense that there's a major conflict/theme that hurts the protagonists, but is mostly very.... vague or metaphorical.

Dumbo (society/prejudice)

Lady and the Tramp (classism/animal cruelty)

The Fox & the Hound (yes, I counted Amos Slade and the Bear previously, but the "true" villain is Prejudice)

Brother Bear (ironically, would fit under "Obsession/Revenge"..... if the target was more than just an ordinary bear)

Chicken Little (society/bad parents)

Bolt (reality)

Encanto (generational trauma)

Strange World (generational trauma)

It's Complicated:

Honestly, I straight up could not decide on a category for these movies because their "villains" are much more complicated than your average Disney antagonist.

Lilo & Stith

Treasure Planet

Raya and the Last Dragon

And finally!

No Villains:

Here's the handful of Disney movies with absolutely ZERO villains or major antagonists or themes that can be interpreted as the "true" villain/conflict.

(I don't count the Heffalumps and Woozles, because they only exist in Pooh's dream lol)

Saludos Amigos

The Three Cabelleros

Melody Time

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh (2011)

#Starling ramblings #y'all this list kept me up for WEEKS #Disney #Walt Disney #Disney animation #Disney villains #Disnerd #Disnerd issues

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winstonsns · 5 months ago

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Hiii I was wondering if you can do the Curtis gang with a platonic little Curtis sister who’s like Lucy loud from the loud house?

the gang and child lucy loud!reader (request)

authors note: please bear with me guys i have 16 requests in my inbox rn LMAO. this was fun to write, i hope you enjoy 💗 TUMBLR ISNT LETTING ME POST THIS HOLY SHIT

includes ponyboy, johnny, soda, darry, dally, two-bit and steve

word count: 1.5k

warnings: cussing, mentions of being jumped and made fun of

PONYBOY CURTIS

because you’re pony’s sister and so close in age, you’re extremely close to each other

you and pony feel like you can tell each other anything even though you’re naturally pretty closed off

the two of you are academically smart and love reading and poems, both of you talking around once a week about a new poem you’ve read and how you felt about it

he began to read edgar allan poe poems, pony giving you a book filled with all of poe’s creations so you could talk about it more

both of you are quiet, sometimes enough to hear a pin drop because you’d rather listen in on conversations rather than interact in them

you prefer to talk to one another in private, both of you being next to each other in several settings but no one seeing you talk to each other

if anyone tried to mess with you or if he hears someone talking shit about you, he’ll ask, “you talkin’ ‘bout my sister?” and give them a sharp glare, a warning not to do it again

JOHNNY CADE

like you, johnny’s very skeptical of things and is always alert of what’s around him

he really enjoys being around you and pony, the three of you aren’t necessarily the closest in age all together but you’re all so different but so alike

he always tries to take care of you like how the gang takes care of him, wanting you to have a better life than he does

he doesn’t necessarily like fighting but will defend you if you get into trouble

the two of you are very aware of everything that is around you, always skeptical of people and not fully trusting others

you’ll talk to one another on whether or not you feel like you should trust a specific person or go to a certain event, knowing some socs might try to jump you

he thinks you’re unsettling at times though, you’ll sleep in the same position the whole night and won’t move in the morning, you basically normally stay still all the time

it also freaks him out that you can be in another room, far away from him then he’ll call your name and you’ll be right next to him

he loves being around you, you’re different from anyone he’s ever met and he really enjoys that

SODAPOP CURTIS

soda protects you all the time and is always with you, the both of you notice nearly everything and hardly miss a detail

even though you and soda aren’t the closest in age, he feels like he can talk to you about anything

he helped you become a little more social and persuaded you to open up to others

the two of you are basically opposites, people will see a handsome guy who’s bubbly and smiling at nearly everyone he sees, then next to him is a girl wearing gothic clothes, quietly observing her surroundings

most of the time, soda picks you up from school and will sometimes drop you off at the DX with him so you can talk together while he’s working

if anyone tries messing with you or makes fun of you, soda sticks up for you and even beats someone up if they try to hurt you

his main goal is for you to know that you aren’t alone, you can talk to him if you feel the need to or just to talk about your problems

you voice your concerns and tell him he can always come to you too if he needs to, being with him makes you feel full and happy inside even though others don’t see it

DARRY CURTIS

although you were like neither of your parents, darry feels the most obligated to take care of you

because you are the only girl in the family, he takes extra precautions to make sure you’re safe wherever you go

you’re his favorite sibling because i said so

since you know he has a lot of weight on his shoulders because he feels the need to take care of you and your siblings, you try to listen to him so his job can be easier

he gets a bit frustrated sometimes because you don’t show emotions as often as others, it causes him to wonder if you are actually mentally okay

but one day, darry asks you if you’d like to help out with the cake even though he was expecting you to say no

but you say yes, the two of you begin to make the cake and by the time it’s in the oven, there’s flour on the countertops and you thank him, “thanks for asking me to help you, darry.” not even directly looking at him but the appreciation was visible

he then realized you were capable of emotion, as was he although the two of you were viewed as people who never showed their feelings

DALLAS WINSTON

dally thinks your style is so cool, he occasionally swipes something from your favorite clothing store and gives it to you

the two of you actually really get along because it’s hard to tell if you care about him and if he cares about you

the both of you show it in small ways though like when you speak about how much you appreciate the time you have with him

or when he notices and points out a new shirt or accessory you’re wearing, knowing you like to be noticed in that way

you’re one of the kids he can actually tolerate and get along with

if he hears someone talking bad about you then they end up going home with a broken rib

he taught you how to fight, giving you a switchblade with good qualities and looks to your liking

he honestly gets really freaked out when you appear out of nowhere, he’ll be talking to johnny then will turn around to see you looking up at him

you always wear some type of covering over your eyes, whether it’s bangs or sunglasses, dally will let you borrow his sometimes

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

keith likes how you feel free to act however with no shame, socs stay away from you because you’re a little kid and they believe you know too much

basically, they just don’t beat you up or anything because they think you can do way more than others are aware of

sometimes you’ll go over to keith’s house so you can play with his sister, he loves how the two of you get along well

you’ve also protected her from getting hurt, her brother really appreciates that

he thinks your style is pretty cool because you’ll dress sort of gothic, he wonders where you get those clothes and sometimes steals some for you

once, he asked the gang if they wanted to go to a pool where it was mostly socs, all of the others were busy but you went with him

he expected you to just put your feet in but you came out with a full on swimsuit

he didn’t know you were capable of having fun, but you later confessed you just wanted to spend time with him

he also tries to make you laugh with his jokes, most of the time you only smile at them though

STEVE RANDLE

when steve first met you he fucking hated you, then he grew to appreciate you

he never really had a reason to dislike you, but gave in and started to get closer with you when soda had told him you were cool

steve finds your monotone voice pretty calming, he likes having full on conversations with you and talking about cars

probably thought you were a sociopath up until you researched more about cars so you could talk about it with him, you told him about it

he then realized you actually cared about the friendship and begins to appreciate you more

he’s surprised when you tell him you listen to death metal, he expected you to listen to angsty music

although he dislikes ponyboy, he enjoys being around you and wants you to hang out with the gang as a group

he gets really pissed off when people make fun of you, always defending your name and getting all up in their faces if something bad is connected to you

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