#eden watches doctor who

[halfbakedideas]

the doctor singing the start of ‘pure imagination’ is so hilarious to me.

[ingravinoveritas]

Lovely new article about Michael in Paste magazine. Article is behind a paywall, so here is a transcription (with thanks to the person on FB who transcribed it, and the parts in bold are my own emphasis).

There’s so much to love about Prime Video’s Good Omens. A delightful adaptation of the popular Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novel of the same name, the series is romantic, thoughtful, hilarious, and heartfelt by turns. The story of the almost-apocalypse and what comes afterward, it wrestles with big concepts like destiny, free will, and forgiveness, all framed through the lens of an unorthodox relationship between an angel and a demon whose love for one another is a key to saving the world.

As anyone who has watched Good Omens already knows, nothing about this series works without the pair of lead performances at its center. Stars David Tennant and Michael Sheen—who play the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale, respectively—have the kind of lighting-in-a-bottle chemistry that’s the stuff of legend, and their characters’ every interaction conveys both their deep affection for one another and the Earth they’ve made their home. Their romance is the emotional linchpin around which most of the series turns, and their heartbreaking separation in the Season 2 finale is so devastating precisely because we’ve seen how necessary the two are to each other’s lives.

But it’s Sheen’s performance in that final scene that really twists the knife. As Aziraphale’s face crumples following his and Crowley’s long-awaited kiss, the actor manages to convey what feels like every possible human emotion in the span of less than thirty seconds as the angel realizes what he has both had and just lost. The moment is emotionally brutal to watch, particularly after sitting through five and a half episodes of Aziraphale looking as lovestruck as the lead in any rom-com. Sheen makes it all look effortless, shifting from giddy joy to devastated longing and everything in between, and we really don’t talk enough about how powerful and underrated his work in this series truly is.

Though he’s half of the central duo that makes Good Omens tick, Sheen’s role often tends to get overshadowed by his co-star’s. It’s not difficult to see why, given that Tennant gets to spend most of the show swanning around in tight trousers looking like the Platonic ideal of the charming bad boy, complete with flaming red hair and dramatic eyewear. Tennant also benefits from Crowley’s much more sympathetic emotional arc. I mean, it’s hard not to love a cynical demon with a heart of gold who’s been pining after his angelic best friend for literal millennia even after being cast out from Heaven. Of course, viewers are drawn to that—likely a lot more easily than the story of an angel who’s simply trying the best he can to do the right thing as he wrestles with his role in God’s Ineffable Plan. Plus, let’s be real, Tennant’s sizeable Doctor Who fanbase certainly doesn’t hurt his character’s popularity.

As a performer, Sheen has a long history of playing both real people (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough) and offbeat villains (Prodigal Son’s Martin Whitly, Underworld’s Lucian, the Twilight Saga’s Aro). In some ways, the role of a fussy, bookish angel is playing more than a bit against type for him—Gaiman himself has said he originally intended for Sheen to be Crowley—but in his capable hands, Aziraphale becomes something much more than a simple avatar for the forces of Good (or even of God, for that matter). With a soft demeanor and a positively blinding smile, Sheen’s take on the character consistently radiates warmth and goodness, even as it contains surprisingly hidden depths. The former guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden who gifted a fleeing Adam and Eve his flaming sword and befriended the Serpent who caused their Fall, Azirphale isn’t a particularly conventional angel. He enjoys all-too-human indulgences like food and wine, runs a Hoarders-esque bookshop that never seems to sell anything, and spends most of his time making heart eyes at the being that’s meant to be his hereditary adversary.

Given the much more difficult task of playing the literal angel to Tennant’s charming devil, Sheen must find a way to make ideas like goodness and forgiveness as interesting and fun to watch as their darker counterparts. It’s a generally thankless task, but one that Sheen tackles with gusto, particularly in the series’ second season, as Good Omens explores Aziraphale’s slowly evolving idea of what he can and cannot accept in terms of being a soldier of Heaven. His growing understanding that the truth of creation is colored in shades of grey and compromise is often conveyed through little more than Sheen’s deftly shifting expressions and body language.

Our pop culture consistently struggles to portray the idea of goodness as something compelling or worth watching. Explicitly “good” characters, particularly those who are religiously coded, are frequently treated as the butt of some sort of unspoken joke they aren’t in on, used to underline the idea that faith is a form of naivety or that kindness is somehow a weakness. For a lot of people, the entire concept of turning the other cheek is a sucker’s bet, and believing in something greater than oneself, be it a higher power or a sense of purpose, is a waste of time. But Good Omens is a story grounded in the idea that faith, hope, and love—for one another, God, and the entire world—are active verbs. And nowhere is that more apparent than in Sheen’s characterization of the soft angel whose old-fashioned waistcoats mask a spine of steel and who refuses to give up—on Crowley, on humanity, or on the idea that Heaven is still something that can be saved.

Though he and Tennant have pretty much become a matched set at this point (both on and off-screen), Sheen’s performance has rarely gotten the critical accolades it deserves. (Tennant alone was nominated for a BAFTA for Season 2, and Sheen was categorized as a supporting actor when the series’ competed in the 2019 Saturn Awards.) But it is his quiet strength that holds up so much of the rest of the show around him, and Sheen deserves to be more frequently recognized for it. That he makes it look so easy is just another sign of how good his performance really is.

I love this so much. The thoroughly well-deserved praise for Michael's incredible performance as Aziraphale, but also that Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship is specifically described as a "romance." And of course, the first sentence of the last paragraph that acknowledges how much Michael and David are indeed a "matched set" that cannot (and should not) be separated...

[hanahanumana]

From AnaMaria Abramovic on Fb

Paste magazine has done an article about Michael and how underrated he is in Good Omens and I found a transcript since it's behind a paywall. Here's the link if anyone wants to subscribe. 💙

https://www.pastemagazine.com/tv/amazon-prime-video/good-omens-michael-sheen-underrated-performance-explained-streaming

There’s so much to love about Prime Video’s Good Omens. A delightful adaptation of the popular Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novel of the same name, the series is romantic, thoughtful, hilarious, and heartfelt by turns. The story of the almost-apocalypse and what comes afterward, it wrestles with big concepts like destiny, free will, and forgiveness, all framed through the lens of an unorthodox relationship between an angel and a demon whose love for one another is a key to saving the world.

As anyone who has watched Good Omens already knows, nothing about this series works without the pair of lead performances at its center. Stars David Tennant and Michael Sheen—who play the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale, respectively—have the kind of lighting-in-a-bottle chemistry that’s the stuff of legend, and their characters’ every interaction conveys both their deep affection for one another and the Earth they’ve made their home. Their romance is the emotional linchpin around which most of the series turns, and their heartbreaking separation in the Season 2 finale is so devastating precisely because we’ve seen how necessary the two are to each other’s lives.

But it’s Sheen’s performance in that final scene that really twists the knife. As Aziraphale’s face crumples following his and Crowley’s long-awaited kiss, the actor manages to convey what feels like every possible human emotion in the span of less than thirty seconds as the angel realizes what he has both had and just lost. The moment is emotionally brutal to watch, particularly after sitting through five and a half episodes of Aziraphale looking as lovestruck as the lead in any rom-com. Sheen makes it all look effortless, shifting from giddy joy to devastated longing and everything in between, and we really don’t talk enough about how powerful and underrated his work in this series truly is.

Though he’s half of the central duo that makes Good Omens tick, Sheen’s role often tends to get overshadowed by his co-star’s. It’s not difficult to see why, given that Tennant gets to spend most of the show swanning around in tight trousers looking like the Platonic ideal of the charming bad boy, complete with flaming red hair and dramatic eyewear. Tennant also benefits from Crowley’s much more sympathetic emotional arc. I mean, it’s hard not to love a cynical demon with a heart of gold who’s been pining after his angelic best friend for literal millennia even after being cast out from Heaven. Of course, viewers are drawn to that—likely a lot more easily than the story of an angel who’s simply trying the best he can to do the right thing as he wrestles with his role in God’s Ineffable Plan. Plus, let’s be real, Tennant’s sizeable Doctor Who fanbase certainly doesn’t hurt his character’s popularity.

As a performer, Sheen has a long history of playing both real people (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough) and offbeat villains (Prodigal Son’s Martin Whitly, Underworld’s Lucian, the Twilight Saga’s Aro). In some ways, the role of a fussy, bookish angel is playing more than a bit against type for him—Gaiman himself has said he originally intended for Sheen to be Crowley—but in his capable hands, Aziraphale becomes something much more than a simple avatar for the forces of Good (or even of God, for that matter). With a soft demeanor and a positively blinding smile, Sheen’s take on the character consistently radiates warmth and goodness, even as it contains surprisingly hidden depths. The former guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden who gifted a fleeing Adam and Eve his flaming sword and befriended the Serpent who caused their Fall, Azirphale isn’t a particularly conventional angel. He enjoys all-too-human indulgences like food and wine, runs a Hoarders-esque bookshop that never seems to sell anything, and spends most of his time making heart eyes at the being that’s meant to be his hereditary adversary.

Given the much more difficult task of playing the literal angel to Tennant’s charming devil, Sheen must find a way to make ideas like goodness and forgiveness as interesting and fun to watch as their darker counterparts. It’s a generally thankless task, but one that Sheen tackles with gusto, particularly in the series’ second season, as Good Omens explores Aziraphale’s slowly evolving idea of what he can and cannot accept in terms of being a soldier of Heaven. His growing understanding that the truth of creation is colored in shades of grey and compromise is often conveyed through little more than Sheen’s deftly shifting expressions and body language.

Our pop culture consistently struggles to portray the idea of goodness as something compelling or worth watching. Explicitly “good” characters, particularly those who are religiously coded, are frequently treated as the butt of some sort of unspoken joke they aren’t in on, used to underline the idea that faith is a form of naivety or that kindness is somehow a weakness. For a lot of people, the entire concept of turning the other cheek is a sucker’s bet, and believing in something greater than oneself, be it a higher power or a sense of purpose, is a waste of time. But Good Omens is a story grounded in the idea that faith, hope, and love—for one another, God, and the entire world—are active verbs. And nowhere is that more apparent than in Sheen’s characterization of the soft angel whose old-fashioned waistcoats mask a spine of steel and who refuses to give up—on Crowley, on humanity, or on the idea that Heaven is still something that can be saved.

Though he and Tennant have pretty much become a matched set at this point (both on and off-screen), Sheen’s performance has rarely gotten the critical accolades it deserves. (Tennant alone was nominated for a BAFTA for Season 2, and Sheen was categorized as a supporting actor when the series’ competed in the 2019 Saturn Awards.) But it is his quiet strength that holds up so much of the rest of the show around him, and Sheen deserves to be more frequently recognized for it. That he makes it look so easy is just another sign of how good his performance really is.

[gogogodzilla]

day 21, spitroasting

gavin reed x reader x connor (rk800) warnings: nsfw 18+, fingering, face fucking, rough! Connor, role play, blowjob, dirty talk, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, the psych major in me is showing kinktober ☠︎︎ main masterlist ☠︎︎ read on ao3

You knew that after the android revolution, your work at the Detroit Police Department would increase tenfold. You knew that you’d have to spend more late nights at the precinct. What you didn’t expect was the toll it took on your sex life. You’d barely seen Connor, let alone touched him. 

Connor always offered to stay late with you and help wherever he could; he didn’t need sleep after all. This time, however, it was you who offered to stay with him. Connor sat at his desk, eyebrows furrowed as he went over his case files for the umpteenth time. You reclined in your chair, stretching out your achy muscles. The bullpen was empty except for the two of you, everyone else had the sense to leave while they still could. 

“Why don’t we talk it out?” you suggested as you stood from your desk and wandered over to his. 

He looked up at you as you sat on the edge of his desk, and you shrugged. “It might be helpful to act out your investigation rather than just having all the details rattling around in your head,” you suggested.

“How could we act it out?” Connor questioned, still a bit uncertain. You pursed your lips, thinking for a moment. 

“I can pretend I’m the suspect, and you can interrogate me. Maybe hearing what we know from someone else will help you find the missing piece?” 

He nodded, before standing. His expression was soft as his gaze met yours. It’d been forever since it’d been just the two of you. 

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Let’s get to work.”

Connor handed you a data pad with all his case files which you scanned as you walked to the interrogation room. This case had multiple victims, all male androids and all models previously used at the Eden Club. The victims were in various states of mutilation. They also weren’t killed in the spots where they were found, though, and there was little physical evidence. You furrowed your brows. All of the victims had a red lipstick mark on their cheeks. 

The chair in the interrogation room scraped against the floor as you pulled it out. Connor allowed you a few moments to look over case files before you began. 

“Maybe you should cuff me,” you suggested before quickly adding, “Y’know, since I’m a deranged killer going after androids.” 

Something flashed behind Connor’s eyes before he stood and rounded the table. Instead of the cuffs attached to the table, Connor removed his own off of his belt. 

“Hands behind your back, Doctor,” he said against the shell of your ear as he leaned over you. Your breathing quickened and excitement flowed throughout your body. 

You obediently clasped your hands behind your back and felt the cool metal of the handcuffs wrap around your wrist. The room was silent except for the clinking of the handcuffs.  

Connor returned to his place across from you, opting to stand. He paused for a moment and then he turned his gaze to you. 

It was as if the man you knew and loved disappeared and was replaced with the cold-blooded deviant hunter he was known as. He stared intensely, and you shuddered under his watchful eye. 

“You understand the gravity of this situation, don’t you?” he asked, his voice calm. 

“Yes,” you replied, keeping your response measured. The suspect was obviously smart and had all the makings of an organized killer. They wouldn’t break with one severe look. 

“Good, let’s begin. Does this look familiar?” he questioned, sliding his data pad toward you with a picture of the most recent victim. 

Your eyes flicked to look at for a moment before returning to his brown ones. “No. Doesn’t ring a bell, detective,” you sneered. 

 “Really? Because you were seen by multiple witnesses visiting the scene of the crime,” he countered, raising a brow. 

It would make sense that the suspect would return to the scene of the crime or get involved in the police work. Although, androids were different than humans. Did they have that innate desire to see the carnage they’ve wrought? 

“I live in the area,” you shrugged. You knew it was unlikely that this killer would make the mistake of striking too close to home, but the way Connor was looking at you had you scrambling for excuses. 

He hummed before turning off his data pad and setting it aside. “Can you explain your whereabouts during the time of the incident, then?” 

You met his gaze, steeling yourself. This suspect would be smart enough to keep their cool under pressure. You had to be too. 

You leaned forward onto the table, allowing Connor a perfect view down your blouse. “Tell me, detective, what do you plan on doing if I don’t cooperate?” you asked, a grin spreading across your features. 

“I’m programmed to adapt to various situations and interrogation techniques. I could make you talk,” he answered, leaning in closer. 

“Aiming to find my weak spots, detective?” 

“I don’t have to search for those,” he responded, the corners of his mouth turning up. 

“Let me out of these cuffs and we could make this interrogation much more interesting,” you lowered your voice to a sultry whisper, meeting his gaze. 

He straightened, the smirk he donned earlier long gone, “Unfortunately, I believe I may be just your type.” 

“So, you’ve got me all figured out, huh?” 

Connor nodded, before rounding the table once again.  He hooked his hands under your armpits and pulled you into a standing position. He kicked your chair away from you.

 “I’m still waiting for a confession,” he whispered against the shell of your ear before bending you over the interrogation table. 

It was slightly embarrassing how much this turned you on. You were completely at his mercy. He was steady, as always, behind you, and you could feel his hardening length pressed against you. 

“You’re giving me exactly what I want,” you remarked, glancing at him over your shoulder. 

His hands had begun to wander; one moved upward and began undoing the buttons of your blouse while the other popped the closure on your pants. 

“I’m told I’m very persuasive,” he purred as he unzipped your pants and dipped a hand into them. His fingertips brushed against your clothed core, and you let out a soft gasp. 

He pressed open-mouthed kisses to the side of your neck as he teased you through your underwear. Your quiet moans were quickly turning into desperate pleas, begging for him to just fucking touch you. 

His free hand kneaded your breast, running over the lacey front of your bra. When that wasn’t enough for him, he pulled your bra down, exposing your front. Your nipples hardened against the frigid air of the interrogation room, and he rolled one between his two fingers. 

“Please, Connor, I promise I’ll be good and give you whatever you want,” you whined, pushing your hips against his. 

 He tsked before removing his hold on you. “Since you asked so nicely,” he praised before hooking his fingers into the sides and yanking your pants, and underwear, down to your ankles. 

He slid a finger through your now-dripping folds, and you bit back a moan. Your slick quickly coated his fingers and he dipped a finger into your entrance before sliding back up to circle your clit. You didn’t doubt there’d be a wet spot on his jeans from you canting your hips against his. 

A groan escaped both of you as he slipped a finger inside you that was quickly joined by another one. He pumped them slowly, and small whimpers left you. You were close to falling apart on his fingers with the way he was winding you up. 

The clinking of his belt buckle was music to your ears and you involuntarily clenched around him. You turned your head and watched in the two-way mirror as Connor stroked his cock with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. 

You let out a high-pitched moan as he pushed inside you inch by inch. You’d never get over the way he stretched you so perfectly every time. Eventually, he bottomed out, and within moments you were moving your hips, begging him to move. 

Mercifully, he obliged you and snapped his hips against yours.  He rested his hand between your shoulder blades, keeping you pressed against the table, as he rutted into you. Your wrists dug against the handcuffs and you wriggled against his thrusts. Goosebumps covered your skin as your breasts pressed against the cool metal of the table. 

He bent so his chest was pressed against your back and whispered against your ear, “Why don’t you show Detective Reed how well you take my cock?” 

Your gaze lurched to the two-way mirror as Connor began pounding into you, and your cheeks burned under Gavin’s invisible gaze. The wet sounds of your heat combined with the moans that pushed passed your lips filled the room. What the hell was he doing here? You were a bit too preoccupied to care.

“You like that he’s watching?” Connor hummed, smirking. “Do you want him to join us?” 

You nodded fervently, as you involuntarily clenched around Connor. The mental image of Gavin joining you driving you wild. 

“Please, Gav,” you begged as Connor slowed his brutal pace, nearly bringing tears to your eyes. “Need you, please, please, please.” 

You jumped as the door to the interrogation room slid open. Connor leaned forward and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at Gavin as he entered. 

Gavin palmed himself through his jeans as he neared, cheeks flushed and eyes alight. He cupped your cheek with his free hand and swiped his thumb over your bottom lip. 

“Missed this mouth, sweetheart,” he murmured as he undid his jeans and released his length, allowing it to bob freely in front of your face. Your mouth watered as you watched him stroke himself. Connor straightened and gripped your ass as his strokes deepened, making your back arch. 

You stuck your tongue out over your bottom lip and looked up at Gavin, inviting him in. He slapped his cock against your tongue, teasing you. The whine that left you was borderline pathetic, and Connor’s grip on you tightened. 

Gavin was quick to indulge you and slide his cock passed your lips. You ran your tongue over the tip, moaning at the taste of him. Connor pulled out of you except for the tip before ramming into you. The force of his thrust sent Gavin’s cock deeper into your mouth, and you gagged slightly as a few tears formed.

“Jesus, tincan. Take it easy,” Gavin hissed, swiping a thumb across your cheek as you recovered, bobbing your head slowly. 

Gavin ran a hand through your hair, tugging it slightly as he pulled you closer. Connor’s pace increased as he rocked into you, hitting that spongey spot inside you that had you moaning around Gavin’s cock. 

You relaxed your jaw and hollowed your cheeks, allowing Gavin to use your mouth as he pleased. He groaned as he matched his thrusts to Connor’s, one pulling out while the other was pushing inside you. 

“Feel so good, sweetheart. Almost like this pretty mouth was made for me,” Gavin praised, his thrusts becoming sloppier. 

Connor reached a hand around you to rub tight circles around your clit. You let out a breathy moan and pushed your hips back his, forcing him impossibly deeper inside you. 

It took almost no time for you to come around Connor’s cock. You squeezed around him as your orgasm washed over you. Gavin grunted as your moans sent vibrations down his length. Both men continued to rut inside you, riding out your high. 

Gavin is the one to reach his peak first as his grip on your hair tightened, and he stilled as he came down your throat. You greedily slurped up everything he gave you, but still, some dribbled down the sides of your mouth. He pulled back slightly to give you room to breathe, but you keep your lips wrapped around his cock.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Gavin whined as you lazily bobbed your head, milking him for every drop. 

Connor followed immediately after, almost as if he was waiting for Gavin. His hips stuttered against your own, just as the aftershocks of your orgasm diverged dangerously close to overstimulation. He buried himself to the hilt as he twitched inside you, the thick ropes of his cum coating your walls. 

Gavin pulled out with a shuddering breath as soon as Connor came, watching as the android detective filled you to the brim. Eventually, Connor’s thrusts slowed to a stop, and he slid out of you. His cum dripped down your thighs, and you whined at the emptiness. 

Gavin lifted your chin and captured your lips in a soft kiss. You eagerly returned the kiss, savoring the way his lips felt against yours. A small part of you secretly missed that. 

He pulled away, “You did good, sweetheart.” 

You smiled at his praise, and he tucked himself back into his jeans. He spared a glance over his shoulder at Connor as he made his way to the door, “See ya, tincan.” 

Connor uncuffed you, and you stretched your arms as he helped you get cleaned up.  Once you were situated, he pressed a kiss to the inside of each wrist, frowning at the marks the cuffs left. 

You ran a hand through his hair, “Did you enjoy yourself?” 

“Immensely,” he quickly answered. “Human relationships are still confusing to me. Does this complicate your feelings toward Detective Reed?” 

“No, I love you, Connor. That was purely physical,” you responded as you took his hand in yours. “Have you solved your case?” 

“Yes,” he grinned, “I had it solved as soon as you started flirting with me.”

You rolled your eyes before standing. “Let’s go home,” you said as you dragged him toward the door.

[mellowwillowy]

Yandere Reader × DOL

Warning: Extreme Content, unsafe sex, Crazy Reader

Bailey - Eden (M), Sydney, Ivory, Whitney, Kylar - Mason, Avery, Harper, Alex, Wren, Great Hawk, Black Wolf, Robin

Bailey's boobs! Eden's boobs! These 2 squeezeing your face! DIE! HAPPILY!1!1!

"What are you doing? I'll be charging you for this." Bailey spat as he watched you sucked his tits, hands groping it like a squishy. Eden on the other hand lets you use his tits as some sort of pillow. Ah... heaven... bless.

Sydney's anal bead, I'll squeeze it down your throat instead of using it as a rosary!

Sydney's hand gripped yours tightly as you used the anal bead inside their throat, fuck, they didn't expect this at all. Please, don't stop. Better yet, use your hand or your cock/strap-on on their throat now!

"Mwooh... mhoreeee....!"

Ivory's Necklace, right, fuck you wanna do if I swallow it whole?

"Get it out..." Ivory throatfucked you as their hands and tentacles choked you, "get it out right now, fuck, get it out!" Actually, you doubt they were throatfucking you to get this shit out. They were just trying fuck their cum out.

Walking Whitney

Whitney and a leash on your hand, no, not a leash to you but to them! Crawling the school hallway naked, how did it feel like to have the table turned now? Oh... look at how turned on they are, "fucking slut, you like people seeing your sex hmm??"

"Shut up..." they growled back but the trail of cum they left said otherwise ♡

Kylar and Mason the undies sniffer

Look at them. You understand if it's Kylar but Mason? Really? Sniffing your undies while you were swimming?

"K-Kylar did it! He did it first!"

"That still doesn't change the fact that you are a teacher. Oh, aren't you a perverted one? Just how down bad are you to the point you are caught sniffing with this," you pulled Kylar by his hoodie, "damn fucking loser who jerks off to my picture?"

"Uuu... you look so cute in that jacket so..."

Avery and alcohol

Fuck, you are sick of them raging at you every now and then. So? What to do? You eyed on the alcohols they got for the two of you and...

Crash

You hit their head with it. Just before they could say anything, you forced the alcohol down their throat, burning it. Just as you noticed they were wasted from the hit and burning sensation, you stripped them down and,

"I think you'll look great with your hole stuffed with this," you showed them a bottle of alcohol, "I don't give a shit about safe sex, feel free to have a check with Harper soon."

Doctor Harper...

Harper groaned as you plunged yet another syringe into their arm, the content? It's empty. Better be empty than fill it in with the drug they would use on you right?

"I bet it feels good, getting injected here and there right you fucker?"

Wren the smuggled

"Ehehe~ look at you~ so adorable in my bag, all tied up hm?"

The smuggler had been smuggled. Fuck, you were so going to enjoy fucking them while charging everyone fortune just to watch you fuck them dumb.

Milking Alex~!

Oh, the farm was growing. Look at it, the milk production got better in both quantity and quality! As expected of Alex! Now, it's time to milk Alex with your mouth and hand again!

Great Hawk the terrored

"Come on now, walking is better than flying right?" Great Hawk whimpered as you handed him his daily food. You caressed his bandaged wings that you broke with your own hands. "Good boy~ now eat, you'll need the energy to mate."

Black Wolf, awooooooo

Black Wolf did so as you fucked him dumb. What a pack leader he is, a great breedable alpha all along.

Robin, burn your fat down.

At this point, they were probably either traumatized or suffered from the masochist traits. Look, look at those marks ♡ how many times have you whipped the fuck out of them? It'll help burning down some of the fat they had.

[lieslab]

Devil's advocate

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Felix X gn reader

Summary: After being ripped from your picture perfect life of modeling, you're thrown into an unexpected world where you can't help, but feel sympathy for the devil.

Genre: Mafia AU

Word Count: 5.7K

Trigger warning: Implied stockholm syndrome, violence, sedation, murder, and mentions of alcohol.

_ _ _

You didn’t belong here and you certainly didn’t belong with this crowd. You didn’t fit in with the worst of the worst. Men who pulled the trigger without a second thought. Women who seduced men with kisses one moment and slit their throats the next. 

Mingling with serpents in the garden of Eden wasn’t your ideal pastime. Then again, it’s not like you had much of a choice anyway. Glued to Felix’s side with your hand clenched tightly in his, once again, not by your choice. 

Your vocal chords were practically shredded from all the screaming you did. From Lee Felix’s private doctor, you were on vocal rest for vocal recovery. To Lee Felix, this was a glorious change of plans on his end. 

As he tugged you through the swarm of bodies, he introduced you with his usual cold demeanor. Your name and then, to your horror, the announcement that the two of you were married. 

Amusement sat on the faces of some and curious eyes swept along you for others. You were a shiny new pearl for them and it didn’t help that the color scheme was black. The color scheme was pitch black; the color of the dead of night, the color of the rotten souls in the room, and yet Felix had dressed you in light pink. 

It was soft and lively, he had explained to you before the two of you showed up. You held your breath as he fixed the collar of your outfit. The color of soft pedals, the rosy cheeks of babies, and a color that he could easily find you in. Even if you tried to escape, there was nowhere for you to go due to sticking out like a peacock. 

You hated the gala and you hated him. You hated the pristineness and shine of everything. From the decorative and nearly overflowing punch pool to the crystal tear-drop chandeliers hanging above your head. 

You had been kidnapped and thrown into a world you didn’t belong in. You used to enjoy being a well-known model. The camera was your best friend. Everything had been perfect in your world until you woke up to the cold eyes of a stranger. 

“Don’t worry, it won’t hurt for long.” 

You’d never forget the chill creeping along your spine. That brief moment of silence where your fate hung in the balance. You were sure you were dreaming until your breath was cut off. You shrieked, you screamed, you kicked, and you fought hard, but the sedative was stronger than your sleep-laced muscles. 

When you woke up, the nightmare truly began. The announcement that you were going to be married to a powerful mafia leader and there was nothing you could do about it. You fought like hell, but the indomitable human spirit couldn’t last forever. 

It was all a blur. The sedation. The talks from people reassuring you that this would be a good thing. People would praise you and you’d be protected. You’d live a good life full of luxury and happiness. 

Felix watched every incident you had with that idiotic cold gaze. You refused to believe it. You screamed, you wept, you begged. You went on and on about how much of a terrible person you were. The lies you told, the horrors you committed, but your sins were merely papercuts. Minor, small, and forgettable. 

Your white lies weren’t comparable to murder. Your beauty was something you couldn’t escape. Everything you practically broke your back to achieve was now biting you in the ass; the life that you once adored had betrayed you. 

Every photoshoot, every image, every interview had ended up in the wrong hands. Passed from person to person until it reached Felix himself. Once he knew about you, his mind was set. You would be his and no amount of begging on your knees would change his mind. Whatever he said went and he wanted you. 

So here the two of you were at some gala event or maybe it was a banquet. You couldn’t be too bothered to pay attention to everything. You were upset and your throat hurt. Hindered vocal chords hurt like hell when they were in the slow process of healing. All you had once had was your voice and even now, it was basically gone too. 

You had always hated networking events. Sure, they were incredibly important and could help your career, but you loathed them. Nothing had changed at this event. 

Felix’s cold expression didn’t falter. He kept tugging you around in different directions. Eyes looked you up and down and you hated it. You hated the way everyone oogled at you like you were a new toy to be played with. 

Your own face sat blank as you met different eyes. You were a goldfish in a bowl. People circled and they assumed things. You hated it, all of it. The looks, the whispers, the glares, you just wanted to go back home and wake up from this nightmare. 

Felix was absolutely no help as he tugged you through the crowds. How many people were here? A couple hundred or over a thousand? They all started looking the same at some point. The same black dresses and the same black suits. Like walking shadows, it never seemed to end. 

At some point, away from people, you gently tugged on Felix’s hand. He glanced over at you, looking almost bored. Your eyes met his and you attempted to speak. Hoarse whispers were the best attempt you could give. “Bathroom.”

“You have to go to the bathroom?” His thick accent responded. His eyes narrowed at you as you nodded. “Are you serious?” After another nod, he sighed, and pulled you through the crowd. 

You weren’t sure about Felix or his gang, but you knew people respected him. As the two of you walked, everyone parted like the red sea. People were hesitant about you, but when it came to Felix, it was like everyone tried to purposefully keep their distance. Maybe it was fear? 

The heels of your shoes clicked along the floor as you tried to match his pace. Over and over again, you continued to keep your steps even with him. When he finally led you to a handicapped bathroom. He pushed you inside and kicked up the latch at the bottom of the door. 

You felt yourself getting annoyed at his careless actions. There was a restroom right across the way that you could have used instead of taking this one. You didn’t need his help and you didn’t like taking this bathroom when it was, specifically, created for people who needed the extra space. 

The door slipped shut behind you and you turned to glare at him. Your arms slipped across your chest and your lips pushed together in an angry pout. For the first time this evening, a smirk grew across his face at the observation of your furrowed eyebrows. 

“Are you angry at me, doll? You shouldn’t be so angry, it doesn’t look good on you.” His hand reached up and gently ran across your furrowed brow. Your body jerked in response. “Why do you flinch whenever I touch you?” 

Your heart began to hammer in your chest and your face fell. You hated how weak he made you feel. Butterflies nose-dived into the barrel of your stomach over and over again. No matter how much you hated him, you couldn’t lie, he was attractive. 

Maybe it was the constellation of freckles scattered across his cheeks and nose. Maybe it was the deep voice or the sun-kissed golden skin of his. Perhaps, it was the darkened hair that framed his features. You loathed him and something in you also seemed to love him. 

“I’m not used to it,” you weakly got out. 

His fingers slipped down the side of your face and goosebumps crept along your arms. His hand cupped your cheek and his fingers ran across your cheek. 

“Sweetheart, you can be mad at me for the rest of your life, but it doesn’t change that you’re mine. You can weep from dusk to dawn, but you're in my world now. Whether you like it or not, this is my game and these are my rules. You should get used to my touch.” 

The warmth of his cinnamon breath crept into your nostrils. He had been sucking on a cinnamon disk for most of the night. The overpowering and burning scent made you want to cry, but it also made your head feel dizzy. 

You needed to get a hold of yourself. You couldn’t fall in love with this man. He was a monster and you couldn’t let him win. You needed to stick to what you knew best. This wasn’t someone to fall in love with. 

How many people had taken their last breath at his feet? How many children grew up parentless because of him? How much fear had he instilled in one city? In two? In a handful? If he could reach you through your security team and security systems, just how powerful was he? 

A chuckle fell from his lips. The warm fingertip brushed against your cheek again. You couldn’t stop the blood from rushing to them. Your embarrassment was humiliating. 

“Would you look at that?” He teased. “What a lovely color on you. Maybe I should do things like this more often. The more you shy away from my touch, the more it makes me crave it. You instill a hunger in me that I can’t explain.”

His hand shifted again until his thumb ran directly onto your bottom lip. With wide eyes, you met his own glimmering with a hint of mischief. “Look at you, just like a little mouse.” 

“So scared, so timid, so afraid, and yet so submissive. A strange mix of temptation and submission that drives me insane.” His finger lingered on your lip and gently started to trace it. 

When you didn’t react, he took it as a challenge. His thumb began to push down and your lips parted slightly. He began to press his thumb further into your mouth and then- 

You jerked away, startled by what was happening. The blush on your cheeks darkened to the color of stained wine. Felix’s smirk only grew at your response. “Took you long enough.” 

Amusement danced in his eyes as he dropped his hand back to his side. “Your mouth is a temptation that I find hard to resist. I can see that you have some fighting left in you, but I can’t tell if it’s aggravating or more cute.” 

When your cheeks continued to darken, he cocked his head to the side. “There it is again, that captivating color, it looks good on you. Is it embarrassment or fear that makes your cheeks darken, hmm?” 

His head tipped closer to yours. Almost a little too eager, his breath brushed against your neck. “Perhaps, it’s something else entirely.” 

You gulped and that stupid smirk appeared again. “Spoken in a color that only I understand, I’ll unearth your every secret written in that pretty shade of pink.” 

Your heart had turned into a wild animal. It beat widely against the enclosed cage of your ribs. Your eyes met his and his hand reached back to your cheek. “Cat got your tongue?” 

Snapping back into it, you finally jerked away and he snickered. “Can you leave?” Your whisper came out harsh, but you couldn’t help it. You were annoyed that you were feeling such things for someone so cold and heartless. 

“And to think we were finally getting somewhere. You want me to leave after I’ve been so generous with my touch? The fun was just getting started, sweetheart.” 

Your hand ripped back and gestured towards the porcelain toilet behind you. A soft sigh escaped Felix’s nose and his shoulders dropped. “I suppose I shall give you some privacy. Just remember to behave yourself and don’t try anything foolish. Remember what can happen to mice.” With that, he spun around and left you alone in the empty room. 

With your heartbeat filling your ears and the blood rushing to your head, you swallowed and blinked his actions away. The coolness of the bathroom air hit you. With a quick step, you locked the heavy door in one go. 

Outside, Felix leaned against the wall while he waited for you. Guests lingered and he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He only came here as a reminder of who he was. It wasn’t often that he left the safety of his shadows, but when he did, he was talk of the city for weeks. 

A haunting and startling reminder that the devil had a handsome face. He was strong and stark. With a quick snap of Felix’s fingers, you could be at the end of a barrel of a gun. No amount of pathetic pleading would get you anywhere. Besides, the scene of crimes could be wiped and made anew. 

Blood washed and bleach dissolved traces. All he had to do was say the words and his cleaning crew would be in and out in a jiffy. Toying with Lee Felix was like playing with the grim reaper. Once you summoned him, he wouldn’t stop until you were dead. 

After finishing in the bathroom, you glanced at yourself in the mirror. Nothing was out of place. Felix had hired the best of the best to make you look perfect. The added hues of soft pink along your eyes made your eye color pop. The shiny gloss to your lips made them look hydrated. 

The deep purple bags were gone. The light had been snatched from your eyes days ago. You had been dropped into a pit of inky darkness and had yet to resurface and find yourself. All you knew was that this wasn’t what you were meant to be. You were meant for being far more than just the devil’s lover. 

Felix glanced up when the bathroom door opened. His eyes lingered over your silhouette before he reached out his hand towards you. “I see that my little firecracker has returned. Did everything go smoothly or did you start to cry because there wasn’t a window you could escape through?” 

Your eyes narrowed, but you held your tongue. Getting into an argument with him would only add to his amusement and you didn’t want that. You kept your face blank and nodded. 

“You’re choosing to stay quiet? That’s a new one for you.” Maybe you’ve finally begun to understand your place or-” He cocked his head, “maybe you’re just waiting to pull your next act of rebellion? I’d heed with caution if I were you. You never know who or what is waiting for you.” 

Defiance flickered in your eyes. As the anger began to rush through your veins, you pulled your eyes away and tightened your lips. Felix caught your movement and another smirk came across his face. 

“Every time you try to resist me, it only fuels my desire to test your limits. You really are a little firecracker, aren’t you? You’re quite tougher than you appear to be.” 

He stepped closer, his figure slightly towering over you. He soaked in your scent with an inhale. His hand went towards your forehead, but you didn’t flinch this time. Your eyes bore into his as he slowly adjusted a piece of your bangs. 

“Do you have any idea what kind of fire you’re playing with? Your defiance does something to me, my love.” His voice lowered as it brushed against your ear. “For once, I might have met my match. Perhaps, you might be the death of me, little mouse.” 

Your face falling gave away that something was wrong. Felix began to pull away and that’s when your body reacted first. Your fingers slipped into Felix’s hand and tightened around it. Your back automatically straightened and your chin went up. 

Surprised by your actions, he glanced down at the entwined hands with a hint of surprise. When you squeezed his hand, he glanced over his shoulder to find one of his rivals standing with a grin on his face. 

The unbothered cold look slipped back onto his face instantly. “Well, this is new. I can’t say I’m surprised to find you here. Planning something big tonight?” 

The man chuckled and shook his head. Adorned in black dress pants and a matching dress shirt, he glanced at you. His dark eyes took you in from head-to-toe and you internally cringed. 

Something about him reminded you of a serpent. Maybe it was the way his beady eyes sat too far apart or perhaps it was the nose that came to a sharp sudden point. The white and unnaturally sharp teeth that had definitely been worked on by some sort of cosmetic genius. 

“For once, the rumors are true. The infamous Lee Felix has found the love of his life and settled down. What comes next? A heir or two to continue on the family tree? Careful now, I hear that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.” 

“Something like that,” Felix agreed. When you squeezed his hand again full of anxiety, his thumb brushed against the back of your hand. For whatever reason, you found the gesture to be soothing. 

This isn’t you!

Your brain screamed at you, but you ignored it. The aura of this man was lethal. Something about the way he was eyeing you made you want to squirm. It was potent and overwhelming. If it wasn’t for Felix’s grip on your hand, you were sure you’d curl into yourself in an attempt to hide. 

“What about you?” Felix continued. “Any plans to settle down soon?” 

“You should know that there is no time for love in this industry. Let bygones be bygones. Why create issues when there’s bigger fish to fry? I’m sure you understand what people can do to one another, isn’t that right?” 

You suddenly wanted to deck him. You wanted to march forward, swing, and hear the satisfying snap of his nose. Something about the way he spoke, it was taunting, almost like a dare. 

“You make a good point, but love can be a driving force behind a lot of good things.” 

“I suppose you know that best. After all, your father raised you, did he not? What a shame he had to die so young.” 

You didn’t look at Felix’s face, but you knew the man hit a nerve. You could feel Felix’s fingers tighten so hard around yours that you could feel your bones creak from the sudden weight. 

“And I wonder whose fault that is.” 

“I had to do what I had to do. You run this country’s largest gang, so I’m sure you understand. There’s been whispers that this one is a firecracker,” he gestured to you. “Make sure you keep them in line because if you don’t…well…I think you understand the weight of this business.” 

“Don’t worry about them.” 

“Are the rumors true?” The man took a step closer and your eyes shot daggers at him in defense. He let out a deep belly laugh and shook his head. “You have a long fight ahead of yourself, Felix. I wonder what other traits they possess besides their beauty and spark. I never considered yourself the type to settle down, but it seems you might have your hands full.” 

You suddenly cleared your throat and for the first time in days, you found your voice. It was hoarse, but you managed to get out the words through the burn in your throat. “Can we help you with something?” 

There was shock on Felix’s face, but it was quickly erased and replaced. The man laughed and rubbed his pointed chin. “I’m surprised to hear you speak. I suppose since your beloved is around, your flames have been tamed.” 

“Have you tried the punch?” You managed to get out through clenched teeth. “I hear that it’s some of the best around.” 

“You have quite the tongue, but no, I have not.” The man took a few steps back and relaxed. “I tend to prefer stronger concoctions than some measly fruit punch. I bet you wouldn’t be able to han-” 

“I’ve heard that it’s been tainted with something that lightens the soul.” 

That seemed to get his interest because his eyebrows raised. “Hmm? Interesting. I suppose I’ll have to investigate that claim for myself, firecracker. Try not to burn yourself out in the meantime. Have a wonderful night.” 

In a mocking bow, he dipped down with one hand over his stomach. When he stood back up, you slightly nodded and he sauntered away. Once he blended in with the crowd, Felix let out the breath he was holding. “I didn’t think yo-” 

“Who is he?” 

Felix raised an eyebrow and glanced over at your gaze. You were practically burning holes in the direction the man went. With furrowed eyebrows and narrowed eyes, you were seething. 

“That would be my biggest rival to date. Don’t pay him any attention. He can’t try anything here because there’s too many people involved. If he shakes things up here, gangs would go to war and he-” 

“Killed your father?” You got out.

Pain flickered in Felix’s eyes. His gaze dropped onto the floor. You caught the sadness from the corner of your eye. He looked like a lost boy instead of a grown man. 

“Yes. It was years ago when I was still a teenager. He killed my father and attempted to take over my father’s gang. Fortunately, my father had devoted men that didn’t let that happen and he taught me a lot. At the age of sixteen, the reins of the gang were handed to me. I’ve built it up brick-by-brick ever since.” 

You couldn’t explain why you pitied him so much. Ever since you were dragged from your home, you hadn’t been treated nicely. You were sedated, you were cuffed, and you were gagged, but you couldn’t help, but pity him. Maybe if things wouldn’t have played out the way they did, maybe he would have turned out entirely different. 

When Felix glanced back up, your eyes were angrily searching the crowd for any glimpse of the man you could find, but all you could see were seas of bodies. The dim lighting to the place didn’t help. 

“Maybe that fire of yours isn’t such a bad thing,” Felix managed to get out. “Perhaps, there’s more of your personality in there than meets the eye.” 

“Don’t push it,” you mumbled. 

“And you’re back. If you insist, I suppose I’ll keep a respectable distance, my fiery love.” Amusement laced his voice. You weren’t thrilled with the playful banner. “Just remember what I said earlier.” 

Your fingers went up to rub your throat. It still ached from speaking, but it felt good to speak for once. Even if it wasn’t your normal voice, you had missed it. 

“Does it hurt?” He asked. “You shouldn’t push yourself like that. I can handle myself.” 

“I don’t like him.” 

“Join the club. If you hadn’t noticed, he thinks the world is his and his alone. He struts around like a peacock and I wish I could say his bark is worse than his bite. He’s ruthless and vicious, don’t let his light-heartedness sway you.” 

“Like you?” 

“Don’t compare me to him. There’s a purpose behind my ideals and my actions. Just because you hear things, it doesn’t make them true. I don’t act unless I need to, but him.” He shook his head. “Men like him should cease to exist. They do things just because they can get away with it.” 

“Then why don’t you defeat him?” 

“Despite my dislike, I don’t have time for petty fights. Going after him would lead to a full-blown war. I’m not in the mood to have my people killed off. Haven’t you heard of the term ‘don’t poke the bear?’” 

“Why should that stop you?” 

He sighed, “did you not hear what I just said?” 

Your hand suddenly jerked from his. Your eyes caught something and you weren’t going to miss the opportunity. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Hey! Where are you go-” Felix stopped when you began to head towards the punch bowl. 

The dark red liquid looked like blood. Dripping down the ladle and dropping back into the bowl. The same man from moments ago filled his clear wine glass nearly to the brim. 

He sipped the punch slowly and licked his lips, savoring every bit of the burn on the way down. To his surprise, Felix’s little firecracker had been right. Someone had slipped something into the punch. He shut his eyes and let the alcohol carry him from this gala. 

“How is it?” You asked as you approached. 

In the distance, Felix kept his eyes on you. He had no idea what you were doing and part of him wanted to stop you, but another part wanted to know what you were planning. His brain said go, but his heart said stay put. What’s the worst thing that you could do?

The man opened up his eyes and smirked when he saw you. “My, my, my, if it isn’t the little firecracker again. I’m shocked that Felix let you out of his sight. Shouldn’t you be by his side or something?” 

“I couldn’t help my thirst.” You grabbed an upside down wine glass and tipped it up. “Is it as good as they say?” 

“Far better. Sweet and tart. Fruity and yet oh so strong.” He watched you ladle your cup full. “I’d be careful with that if I was you.” 

“I can handle my liquor perfectly fine, thank you.” 

The man’s eyes shifted into crescent’s when he laughed. You sent him a smile and began to sip your drink. You hated the burn, but forced your face to remain still. 

“Such a shame that Felix got his claws in you before I could. You are something else. I bet you’d be a lot of fun.” 

“You have no idea.” 

“So what did you come over here for?” 

“I already told you that I was thirsty.” 

“I wasn’t born yesterday, you must want something.” 

You inhaled and then exhaled. “Alright, you caught me. I came over here because I realized that I could do better than Felix.” 

The man’s face perked up and he grinned. “Go ahead, I’m listening.” 

So you spilled lie after lie. Talking about how Felix wasn’t good enough. How the two of you argued and bickered. On and on you went and Felix watched everything from afar. He had no idea what you were saying, but he kept seeing you fill the man’s glass over and over again. 

What are you planning, little mouse? 

The truth was that you had started to develop a minor crush on Felix. You hated the way he made you feel and you hated that you had been thrown into this shit show, but you were falling right into his trap. 

He knew if he kept you long enough, he’d be able to break you down. You were the one who had said it yourself in an interview for a magazine. You had a soft heart and were able to find the good in everyone. You were too naive for your own good. 

It wasn’t his fault that you laid your weakness out for everyone to see. All he had to do was care about you, connect with you, and you were smitten. Head over heels in love, there was nothing you could do to take it back. 

“I see,” the man nodded. He kept shifting his weight from leg to leg to keep steady. You have filled his cup about three times now. Tipsy was an understatement. Clearly, he couldn’t handle his liquor. 

“I think the answer is…” He paused and shut his eyes. “Simple. Come home with me and we-” His face scrunched up before his eyes opened. “Can go from there.” 

“I have to get away from Felix to do that.” 

“You can start by getting rid of that god awful outfit. It’s much too bright. In fact, it’s giving me a headache.” He waved his hand at you and waved you away. “Take it off and I’ll distract him.” 

You wanted to roll your eyes. Even if you wanted to go with him, you had nothing to change into. He truly was an idiot. Nothing to change into, nowhere to go, nowhere to escape to, and yet with a few wine glasses of fruit punched spiked with cheap vodka, he was gone. 

You carefully ladeled another scoop into his cup. “Stay right here and I’ll be back.” 

“Go ahead, I’ll be waiting.” He licked his lips and greedily guzzled down the juice. 

You glanced around until your eyes met Felix’s. He had shifted closer to you in the crowd and when your eyes met his, you wanted to grin. You wanted to give him a thumbs up, but not yet. Too many people were keeping an eye on him and probably you. 

Instead, you tipped your head down to the floor and began to look around. Your eyes scanned the crowd in the process. To everyone, it looked like you were looking for something. 

You spun around, kicked your leg out, and then- 

Crash!

It all happened so fast, people could barely understand what happened. You jerked back to the front with wide eyes. Felix’s rival groaned as he pawed at the floor. You stepped back to keep your shoes from getting sticky with fruit punch. 

As if it was blood, the liquid began to seep from beneath him and spread out. That fancy punch bowl shattered the moment it hit the floor. This part of the refreshment table had been stacked with golden platters. 

This was the dessert section. Fancy slices of two-tiered cake had been thrown to the floor. Cupcakes were lying upside down. The perfectly pointed swirls had smashed into messy dollops. Cheesecake bites smeared bits of fruit along the white floor. 

The entire gala seemed to freeze, but they weren’t focused on you. Their interest had been taken by the man who made a fool of himself. In the heavy silence, you could have heard a pin drop. 

When your eyes met Felix’s, you could see him struggling to hold back the corners of his lips. He saw your shoe connect with the back of the man’s knee. Too absorbed and unsteady from the punch, he crumpled instantly. 

A loud laugh suddenly fell out of the crowd. Soon, more people joined in. You basked in the glory that came with it as your own chuckle fell from your lips. Maybe you hadn’t taken down Felix’s rival in a big way, but he’d have a hard time living this down. 

It’d be talked about for weeks. Remember that one gala when that man fell in the punch bowl? A classic lesson that even the best can fall. Sometimes karma comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it doesn’t happen until years later, but when it does, it still packs a punch. 

You doubted the man would even understand what happened. Down on all fours, he was still pawing around in an attempt to get up. His fingers were smeared with chocolate frosting. 

A few men had appeared and tried to help him up, but another came crashing down on top of him. Face first, he hit the floor, directly into an unsliced pie. The whip cream smearing his shocked face was enough to send another wave of laughter through the air. 

A few nearby women asked if you were okay and pulled you to safety. They watched the man and his men with an uncomfortable look on their faces. One grimaced as another man fell. 

“Can’t he understand this is an important gala?” Another grumbled. 

“Aw man, I was really hoping to get my fingers on another one of those cookie dough cake pops.” 

The rush of waiters caught your eye as the catering team scrambled to help. Your attention parted ways when a hand slipped into yours. Felix’s face was full of worry as he took you in. “Are you alright?” 

You nodded and gently squeezed his hand. He thanked the women for helping you and pulled you further away from the crowd. “I can’t believe you did that.” 

“He got what he deserved.” 

“I think he has an alcohol problem.” 

“Speaking of that, can we leave? I was sipping the alcohol to make it seem like I was drinking too. Everything seems too foggy. I don’t drink a ton and I don’t like the way I feel right now.” 

“Just hang tight for a few minutes.” He began to pull your hand and head towards the exit. When he looked back, his rival was being tugged towards the bathroom. A trail of punch followed along behind him causing Felix to snort. 

You leaned into his shoulder as you walked. His arm went around your waist and tugged you closer. “Don’t worry, we’ll be in the car shortly. Are you going to throw up, sweetheart?” 

“I don’t think so. How do people enjoy getting drunk? I feel like I can’t think properly.” 

“Oh, you poor thing. I’ll admit, I didn’t think you were this innocent.” 

“Shut up,” you grumbled. 

After struggling to reach his car, you managed to climb in. He buckled you and began the short ride home. He wanted to get you tucked into bed before you fell asleep, but this would have to do. He’d just have to carry you when he got home. 

Despite your fire and your anger, he had a feeling that you’d start to warm up to him soon. If you were willing, he had good use for that fire inside of you. He had been looking for new ways to take down rivals. 

If you easily went after his biggest rival to humiliate him in a crowd of a thousand people, he couldn’t wait to see what you’d do with unlimited resources. When money wasn’t a problem and nothing was illegal, where would your ideas take you? He couldn’t wait to find out. 

Clearly, you weren’t just a timid little mouse, there was a hint of monster inside you too. 

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[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XI good omens season 1 finale I'M SORRY THIS IS LATE, I WAS READING FANFIC.

How is this a title I'm now forced to write. Yes, I know it's been a week since I finished episode 6 with you maggots. And today is the day we start season 2. However, I, the Official Good Omens Mascot, procrastinated writing part XI, because I was reading too much good omens fanfiction. Yesterday I do believe I was reading till 3 in the morning. Thanks guys.

Season 1 finale, or whatever I can figure out with my records of the watch along chat, at least. WAHOO.

[EDIT: I'm back at the intro after finishing this post, and I realised this is a very long summary, because most of it is me yelling at you guys. As I typed it I started reliving my rage of last week. Read on if you dare, yes the post is long, and yes the second half is in all caps. THIS TOOK EMOTION. YOU GUYS BETTER REBLOG IT INSTEAD OF LIKING IT SILENTLY WHILE LAUGHING AT MY PAIN. I WANT MY RAGE EVERYWHERE ON TUMBLR.]

Someone puts a message about how Crowley can no longer sense Aziraphale's presence, and again for some reason covers it with black. My reaction is of course horrified, and then everyone tells me to STOP CLICKING THE SPOILERS, ASMI.

So that's what that was. I realise this out loud, and everyone is ready to cry with exasperation. I explain to them very reasonably that while I don't read every message on the watch-along chat, every time there is a black message I assume it's important and I click on all of them to reveal the text.

Realising the spoiler function has backfired, as most things do with me, the chat sighs and everyone goes for a break. Then someone puts another blacked out message about the bookshop, and I react to that, leading to another blacked out message which simply says STOP CLICKING THE BLACK.

Oops, I already forgot. THE SPOILERS ARE JUST TOO CLICKY. CLICK CLICK CLICK. I HAVE TO CLICK ALL OF THEM.

Someone says I forgive you, Asmi. I reply with Don't bother, which leads to tears and threats to stab me. The chat maggots give up and we start episode 6.

There is a random flashforward. I don't understand what is happening, but then again, I never do.

Back at the airfield. Crowley walks in, recognises their hubby instantly, and takes charge sexily. Then the Bentley bursts into flames.

Crowley is heartbroken. No one comforts them. When I point this out (read, YELL IT AT THE CHAT IN DEVASTATION) someone tells me that this is how it always is.

APPARENTLY DAVID WAS TOLD TO THINK ABOUT THE TARDIS EXPLODING IN THAT MOMENT. I HATE THAT I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

Crowley needs all the therapy. Someone says kinder fanfic authors give it to him. LIES, I point out, FIRST THEY GIVE HIM EVEN MORE REASON FOR THERAPY. THEN GIVE HIM THERAPY.

Everyone is yelling about a fanfic called demonology while Adam the Antichrist feels so weird at Aziraphale being inside someone that's not Crowley that he separates them in the First Bigeneration style. Doctor Who is inspired.

Aziraphale like the babygirl he is, tries to girlboss his way through the situation by making Crowley murder the kid.

Pepper FUCKING STABS WAR IN THE NAME OF FEMINISM WITH THE SWORD OF EDEN AND THEN OTHER TWO KIDS END THE OTHER HORSEPERSONS IN THE NAME OF HOMECOOKED MEALS AND ECOFRIENDLINESS AND WHAT THE FUCK THESE KIDS ARE TWELVE WHAT PERCY JACKSON LEVEL OF BADASSERY-

Crowley and Aziraphale give a half-assed attempt at a father-son (gn) talk with the Antichrist as the world is ending. It is a terrible contribution to saving the world. The Antichrist thankfully has inherent common sense, because he wasn't raised by them.

Aziraphale tries to overshare his and Crowley's meetcute and has to be shushed by an embarrassed Crowley who is trying to keep them alive.

Satan is supposed to arrive. I mistakenly assume Gabriel is actually Satan. Which pleases a lot of people.

Gabriel and Beezlebub talk and blame Crowley and Aziraphale (who contributed exactly JACK SHIT to averting the apocalypse).

I kind of ship Gabriel and Beezlebub after seeing them interact for 30 seconds, which for some fucking reason leads to a lot of reactions and yelling. I want them to be together. Which leads to more yelling. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY CANON?

Satan arrives. Antichrist disowns him. Through the power of Manifestation, Law of Attraction and Positive Thinking, Adam is now no longer the Antichrist, Satan leaves, none of this happened and the BENTLEY AND BOOKSHOP ARE SAVED.

NO ONE IS FUCKING HUGGING CROWLEY. I'M GOING TO STAB A BITCH.

There is the bus stop scene Crowley asks Aziraphale to move in with him and they hold hands I DON'T FUCKING KNOW BY NOW THE CHAT HAS DESCENDED INTO CHAOS I'VE LOST MY BRAINCELLS.

ICE CREAM DATE AND SUDDEN INVASION AND I'M WATCHING THE ACTING AND I'M LIKE HANG ON A SECOND SOMETHING IS OFF AND I ASK SUDDENLY IF THEY SWITCHED.

THAT'S RIGHT, I ASK IF THEY SWITCHED. I KNEW THERE WAS A SWITCH AND I THOUGHT IT WAS MIDWAY THROUGH SEASON 2. BUT THE SIGNS ARE TOO MANY HERE. EVERYONE IS NOW YELLING AND PEOPLE KEEP IGNORING ME.

ALL THE ACTING IS FLIPPED I'M NOT BLIND YOU FUCKERS. AZIRAPHALE'S FACE IS DOING CROWLEY'S COULDNT-CARE-LESS EXPRESSION AND HE'S QUESTIONING HEAVEN AND CROWLEY'S TALKING HAS LESS CONSONANTS THAN USUAL AND NO CROWLEY SASS MORE AZIRAPHALE SASS IT'S THE SAME BACKGROUND AS THE NOSE-SCRUNCH SCENE AND SURELY THAT WAS AZIRAPHALE RIGHT.

EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME TO WAIT AND SEE. I KEEP YELLING THAT THEY MUST HAVE SWITCHED.

SOMEONE SAYS I'M EITHER A MADMAN OR A GENIUS. I TELL THEM I'M BOTH BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT DID THEY FUCKING SWITCH.

I'M NOW QUESTIONING MYSELF BECAUSE EVERYONE ISN'T LYING BUT THEY'RE MAKING ME QUESTION MY REALITY SO THE CLASSIC GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSSING.

I'M YELLING ABOUT HOW ONLY AZIRAPHALE WOULD BE POLITE ABOUT JACKETS AND SURVIVE HOLY WATER. EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME. I'M NOW 60% SURE I'M WRONG.

PEOPLE KEEP YELLING WAIT AND SEE AND TALKING ABOUT SADIE AND DOTTIE I HATE IT HERE.

CROWLEY IS IN HEAVEN THAT WAS HIS DISMISSIVE LOOK I'M NOW 90% SURE I'M RIGHT. I'M YELLING ABOUT IT.

ADAM LEAVES THE GARDEN IN A METAPHOR AND THEN AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY SWITCHED BACK. THEY SWITCHED BACK. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT. I AM LIVID. I AM YELLING.

IT'S VERY EMOTIONAL AND NIGHTINGALES AND THEY TOAST THE WORLD AND I'M VERY EMOTIONAL BUT I'M COPING BY THREATENING MURDER BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING RIGHT.

THE END.

SEE YOU GUYS TODAY AT SEASON 2 I GUESS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

[jamethinks]

Story idea where Anya develops a new power: hallucinations

(Vaguely based on breaking dawn pt 2 and Ashe)

Eden kids go to a veteran place thingy where they're honoring the brave men and women who served in the wars bla bla bla

Twilight normally follows Anya on these but decided to sit this one out because he just didn't want to hear a bunch of pro war anti westalian propaganda (he's been having a hard time)

At the event they meant this vet who used to fly bomb planes. He tells his proudest story where he came up with a plan to bomb a specific area in Westalis to stop the rest of the country from getting aid from neighboring cities

This town happened to be Luwen and the year was 1943.

Ie this was the man who killed Twilight's parents, and here he was gloating to his daughter about it

Damian notices that Anya is acting strange and tries to get him to stop before accidentally telling him that Anya was westalian (a hc ik)

In his head the mam reacts in disgust and says a lot of anti westalian shit but out loud he gives her some bs peace crap

Suddenly he blinks and he's in a random town, Luwen. He checks his watch and sees the date and time. He knows what's about to happen.

He starts rushing everyone into the bomb shelters they think he's crazy but then the bomb start dropping and bla bla bla

After he's walking around trying help clean up the mess and anyone who finds a young boy trying to pull a woman out from the rubble

He goes to help only to realise that the build had crushed her head and he just pulled a decapitated woman out in front of a child who was actually her son.

The child doesn't react and keeps trying to save her and begs him for help but the man could only look in horror

Then he looks up and there is Anya standing creepily talking to him. Her voice is all echoy and creepy and she's saying weird stuff and it's freaking him out

He blinks again, and he's back in the museum with 5 kids staring at him. He starts going on the weird tangent and calling Anya a demon and bashing westalians and going crazy

Damian defends he and the guy calls him a traitor. Then Damian starts talking in the weird disembodied voice, and the things he was saying didn't make sense for him to say

He freaks out and then runs off. He runs and runs and runs all the way to Berlint General. He dragged to the Psych ward and they call the on call doctor... Dr Forger.

He immediately recognizes him and then falls to his knees and starts apologizing and admitting to all the shitty things he did during the way and flat out saying he killed Loid's parents

The tranquilize him and chalk it up to ptsd. A nurse asks Loid if he's OK believing the man's story. He reassures her that it had no effect on him at all. He didn't even live in that area lol

Then he goes home, pretending to be ok. Yor's out late so it's just him and Anya. It was awkward night but he got her to bed and was ready to go into his. Bond but was being oddly clingy but it was probably nothing.

Yor finally returns home and is going on about how bad she felt for missing bedtime and dinner and then out of nowhere twilight just falls to ground and just starts balling his eyes out.

He is having a full blown panic attack just fucking going through it. He can't breathe he's choking he's sweating, like in 5 seconds, he goes from chill to a complete disaster

Poor Yor hasn't even gotten a chance to take her coat off and is now trying to figure out how to console him or why he's even freaking out like this. This man doesn't even cry when chopping onions. Let alone just start hyperventilating on the floor

Eventually he calms down by laying on her lap with Bond on top of him giving him a shit ton of pressure

Yor decides to soothe him with a nice lullaby... I think you can guess what happened once he recognized the song

In the end, she had to wack him unconscious and ask the Shopkeeper for horse tranquilizer to keep him calm until she could figure out what the hell is wrong with him

[exy-shmexy]

AU where Andrew has had an absolutely terrible night at Eden’s with clients being annoying pests so he’s driving home with nothing but anger and exhaustion in his bones, zooming through the streets of Columbia when suddenly something heavy hits his car.

Can this night just fucking end already? He unlocks the door to see what the hell that was, but an auburn-haired menace jumps in his car before he can get a foot out, and stares at him with an expression of pure terror in the bluest eyes Andrew has ever seen.

The boy, because really that guy is barely an adult, frantically asks him if he can take him to the airport, he’ll pay him however much he wants. Andrew is frozen in place, but then he sees the blood. He points at the guy who is becoming paler by the second and tells him he won’t make it to the airport. The guy blanches more. Andrew tells him he can take him to his house, his brother is almost a doctor by now he can do stitches. The boy is terrified, but he reluctantly says yes so Andrew drives him home where Aaron is indeed waiting because wtf andrew you’re so late. When he sees Andrew carrying someone else inside. Aaron is just this close to losing it but Andrew tells him to shut up and just stitch that guy up. Aaron asks what’s going on. Andrew says he has no idea this is a long day he needs whiskey, okay?

Aaron patches up the guy in silence while Andrew watches him work. The man is passed out on their couch, leaving blood on their cushions which is just great. He wakes up a couple hours later with Andrew and Aaron hovering above him and they ask wtf this is about. So the menace—Neil—panics and tells them he’s really sorry but he needs to go now. Andrew pushes him back on the couch and demands an explanation. Aaron suggests calling the police but one vicious glare from both Neil and Andrew is enough to shut him up.

So this is how the twins find out Neil is on the run from some very shady people who tried to murder him last night and he needs to leave the country to be safe

[talktomegooseman]

Baby baby

Ship: Bob Floyd x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 678

Warnings: pregnancy, mention of childbirth (nothing graphic)

Authors Note: Not Proofread. Feedback is always appreciated!

You hear the door open, and listen to the pitter patter of feet as your two kids go to greet their dad. Bob walks into the kitchen with Eloise on one hip, Eden on the other. “Hey mama. You been feelin ok?” He asks, putting the girls down, watching as they run to the living room and placing his hands on your protruding belly, feeling the taut skin. He looks at you with concern, knowing you were near your due date.

“Bobby. I’m fine. Elijah has just been kicking for the most part. Up until an hour ago…” you broke off, grimacing as a contraction rolls through you. “Babe. Why didn’t you call?” Bob asks, pulling you close, his hands kneading your lower back. “Because this is baby number three and knowing my luck he’s gonna be late anyways.” You reply, voice muffled by his shirt. “Given the fact that you’ve been having contractions for an hour, I think we’re gonna have ourselves a valentines baby sweetheart.” Bob says. He knew that with the girls it progressed fast and he had a feeling that it would be the same with this one.

You on the other hand, didn’t want to believe it. That is until things got more intense in the middle of the night. “Bob. Bob. Robert!” You whisper yell, shaking your husband awake. “Sweetheart?” “It’s time to go. I’ve called Reuben and Maria. They’re on their way over to watch the girls.” Bob got up with speed and precision that only a Naval officer could have, and helped you to your feet, grabbing a pair of sandals for you, slipping them on.

You leaned on your husband as he lead you to the car, having to stop a couple of times for a contraction to pass. You meet Reuben and Maria in the driveway and tell them to go inside. You knew the girls would be happy to see them come morning. The pair of them knew that they would be watched by them when you left.

Bob made sure you were in the car, and hopped into the driver seat and headed towards the hospital. “You ready for this sweetheart?” He asks, his hand in yours, rubbing circles with his thumb on the top of your hand. “About as ready as I can be. Are you? Last baby and all?” “Yeah. I am. I’m ready to meet my son.” He says, as he pulls into a parking stall nearest the entrance. He gently leads you into the building and gets you checked in.

“Mr. and Mrs. Floyd, good to see you!” your doctor says, walking into the delivery room, and begins the routine checks. “You too Dr. Draper.” You say with a grimace, as you feel a pop and a gush of fluid. “Right on time doc.” Bob says, as she laughs. “Let’s get this show in the road!” She announces, as your nurses enter the room ready to bring your son into the world.

A sharp cry filled the room at 1:30 AM and you slumped back against the pillow, chest heaving. “He’s here sweetheart. Elijah is here.” Bob says, tears in his eyes as your baby is placed on your chest. “Hi baby boy. I’m your mommy. This here is your daddy.” You say, voice thick with emotions, tears running down your face. “Happy Valentine’s Day Bobby.” “Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart.” He says, kissing you, as Elijah is taken by a nurse who cleans him and takes his measurements. “Little man here has a good set of lungs, ten fingers and toes, and a whole lot of love.” Dr. Draper says, as she exits the room, leaving the three of you alone.

“Happy birthday Elijah Robert. We sure do love you.” Bob says, cradling the newborn in his arms, swaying gently. “We love you. Your aunts and uncles love you. Your big sisters love you. It’s right that Valentines is your birthday baby boy. You’re so loved.” You say, as Bob perches on the bed, relishing in the warmth and love you share.

[halfbakedideas]

doctor stop promising you’ll keep so-and-so safe, your track record proves otherwise!

[ofliterarynature]

TBR TAKEDOWN: Week 12 (Aug 18)

TLDR: I have too many unread books, and I’m asking tumblr to help me downsize. Pick one or none, and comment if you can - a convincing sentence is worth a dozen votes! You’re also welcome to just choose the one that sounds the worst :D Book descriptions below the cut, see my pinned post for more info.

The Rector and the Rogue by W. A. Swanberg

It began quietly enough one morning in February 1880, with a mutton-chopped Acme Safe Company salesman knocking on the door of Reverend Morgan Dix, the starchiest clergyman in Manhattan's most respectable church. The salesman was surely misdirected, Reverend Dix explained--he had no need for a safe, and he had not made an appointment. But soon after, used clothes dealers arrived, followed by heavy machinery salesmen, and soon the street filled riotously with wave after wave of solicitor-tormentors--hundreds of funeral directors, horse traders, wigmakers, fellow clergymen, doctors--all insisting they'd been summoned by the bewildered Reverend Dix. And for weeks, it continued in this manner. Reporters from every newspaper in New York camped out to watch the fun, and as the story gained national attention, police and postal officers raced to capture the gleeful prankster-cum-performance artist who was making a mockery of the esteemed Trinity Church.

A fascinating tale of detection and revenge, The Rector and the Rogue uncovers for the first time the trail of celebrated Victorian trickster "Gentleman Joe"--the mysterious con-man whose innumerable identities, wild fabrications, baffling motives, and international trail of chaos would lead to one of the most bizarre criminal cases of the 19th century.

The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl by Melissa Kiel

Alba wants to stop time so she can stay in her small town forever - but the end of the world might just force her to confront her future.

Alba loves her life just as it is. She loves living behind the bakery and waking up in a cloud of sugar and cinnamon. She loves drawing comics and watching bad TV with her friends. The only problem is she's overlooked a few teeny details. Like, the guy she thought long gone has unexpectedly reappeared. And the boy who has been her best friend since forever has suddenly gone off the rails. Even her latest comic book creation is misbehaving. On top of all that, the world might be ending - which is proving to be awkward.

As doomsday enthusiasts flock to idyllic Eden Valley, Alba's life is thrown into chaos. Whatever happens next, it's the end of the world as she knows it. But when it comes to figuring out her heart, Armageddon might turn out to be the least of her problems.

Full of Keil's trademark quirky characters and witty dialogue, readers will be hooked by Alba's romantic dilemma and the hilarious plot that links the end of high school with the end of the world.

Moth and Spark by Anne Leonard

A prince with a quest. A commoner with mysterious powers. And dragons that demand to be freed—at any cost.

Prince Corin has been chosen to free the dragons from their bondage to the Empire, but dragons aren’t big on directions. They have given him some of their power, but none of their knowledge. No one, not the dragons nor their riders, is even sure what keeps the dragons in the Empire’s control.

Tam, sensible daughter of a well-respected doctor, had no idea before she arrived in the capital that she is a Seer, gifted with visions. When the two run into each other (quite literally) in the library, sparks fly and Corin impulsively asks Tam to dinner. But it’s not all happily ever after. Never mind that the prince isn’t allowed to marry a commoner: war is coming to Caithen.

Torn between Corin’s quest to free the dragons and his duty to his country, the lovers must both figure out how to master their powers in order to save Caithen. With a little help from a village of secret wizards and a rogue dragonrider, they just might pull it off.

[mintartem]

hey, hey! Me again. The one who cursed you for blessing me with two new ships lol

Anywho, since you mentioned it, art of Adam x the other angels? Raphael, Gabriel, Azriel, Sariel, all of 'em!

Would love to see art/ designs, but I can settle for hcs lol

I was going to make this into art but I’ve been busy. I hope you don’t mind headcanons and my portrayal of them instead. (I will draw them and ship them with Adam eventually)

I can’t write ALL of the angels (there’s like 50+ of them and that’s not including the fallen) I’m going to focus on the 7 heavenly virtues first (excluding Michael so 6 of the 7).

Please note all of these are for the Hazbin Hotel fandom and not an actual Bible lore or theology. Although some info here are based on theology.

Gabriel (Seraph) - Diligence

He is an energetic, loud, bubbly, and trustworthy angel who is loved and respected by all. But he is scary when he is angry or pissed off

It’s not easy to piss him off but if you did, it means you’ve done something absolutely horrendous in his eyes

He enjoys watching souls get their deserved justice or punishment

Since his heavenly virtue is diligence, he is the fastest angel to finish his work. But at the same time, he also has a lot on his plate. He values breaks in-between working.

Flirts with Adam and loves to get in his personal space (Adam doesn’t mind and lets him)

He trusts Michael the most

The only beings he follows/listens to are Michael and God

He wonders why he was chosen to be God’s right hand when the position should be Michael’s (in his eyes)

He enjoys his job of delivering messages

Has the best stamina and endurance among the angels

He has a sweet tooth

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. But his most favorite instrument to play is the trumpet.

The third brother

He [will be] against Charlie’s plan of redemption

Raphael (Seraph) - Humility

He is a calm, collected, and gentle angel who wants the best for everyone and heal them as much as he can.

He wouldn’t hesitate to scare off souls with medical threats if it means it’ll help them heal

He is a pacifist

As the heavenly virtue of humility, despite his high position and rank, he doesn’t see himself better than others and chose to ground himself (which is confusing for other angels)

As the angel of healing, he heals not just physical pain, but also emotional, mental, spiritual, etc. health.

When it comes for mental health, he does need a winner’s help since he is an angel and can’t understand human thought process that well

Surprisingly, he prefers spicy food

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. His most favorite instrument is the lyre.

He [will not be] against Charlie’s plan for redemption, but wouldn’t support it either.

The youngest among the four brothers

The tallest among the brothers

He and Gabriel tease Michael because of his crush on Adam

Also in love with Adam and loves watching Adam tend to his garden

He loves herbs, poisons, and other medical things (that includes snakes)

He is fascinated by human biology and anatomy. Adam is the usual target of this fascination

Has a doctor’s (terrible) handwriting

He is the most mature out of all the brothers

Has a sadistic side

Leader of the virtues

Azrael (Archangel) - Patience

When Adam met him in Eden, the impression he got from him was that he is a shy and quiet angel.

Azrael is a flirty and playful, but kind angel that enjoys the company of his fellow archangels

He loves the nature noises (such as chirping birds, cricket noises, swaying leaves)

He is mostly remembered for his wings. Angels and winners alike describe his wings as “so black that it’s like darkness itself created a solid form to serve as his wings”

He is respected even by the Seraphim for his duty

Originally, Samael was the angel of death. The title was given to Michael, who then gave it to Azrael

He is most known for taking the souls of “The Death of the First Born” plague in Egypt. He does not like being known for it though.

He created the Grim Reapers to help him with his duties.

He once offered Abel to be his first Grim Reaper. Abel declined.

Platonically flirts with Abel. Cain does not like it (he thinks its romantic)

Romantically flirts with Adam. Cain also does not like it

Cain does not like him in general. Azrael think its because Abel sees him as an older brother. (He’s right)

Despite being younger than Michael, Lucifer, and Gabriel, they see him as an older brother figure

The only angel who is allowed to enter Hell and Heaven without permission, paperworks, etc. (This is because some depictions portray him as the one who leads souls to heaven or hell)

Doesn’t care about Charlie’s plan for redemption.

The elders are wary of him

He kept Abel’s soul until Adam died and went to heaven.

He is the one Adam first saw when he died so, like Abel, Adam has an attachment to him

Uriel (Seraph) - Chastity

He is a quiet, serious, scholarly angel with an aloof and unreadable expression.

Contrary to his serious appearance, Uriel enjoys teaching angels and winners.

He is loved by his students. Outlookers would wonder why, but his students know what type of angel he really is

He loves dark chocolates. His students are the only ones who know. He receives a lot of dark chocolate every Teacher’s Day

He tends to question anything and everything for knowledge’s sake

[will] support Charlie if she can defend her redemption project (like a research/thesis defence)

He witness Adam’s creation and grew attached to him

He guarded Eden’s gate with a flaming sword. Currently, he hid away his flaming sword only to be used if Lucifer or anything evil decides to attack Heaven

He was Adam’s teacher when he got to Heaven. Uriel taught him about Heaven, heavenly duties etc.

He doesn’t hate Lucifer per say, but he is extremely disappointed.

He enjoyed watching humanity (especially Adam) discover things. Currently, his focus are now the winners, angels, and heaven borns

He enjoys reading about human philosophers and their philosophies (both east and west)

Loves playing chess against Adam

He is the one who provides strategies to Michael and is the one who helps plan training activities

“My house is not a mess. It’s an organised chaos”

He has his moments where angels cannot tell if he is being smart or lazy.

He is great at multi-tasking

On purposely uses scientific terms to annoy Gabriel and Lucifer. He does know how to “dumb it down a notch” according to Lucifer.

Cannot be wavered once he is focus on something/s

Cassiel (Archangel) - Temperance

He is an empathic, sensitive angel who wants to enjoy Heavenly life with his fellow angels, heaven-born, and winners

When Eden was created, he wanted to visit but he was forbidden to do so. Unlike Lucifer, he controlled himself and decided not to do so

He is the fastest angel

He helps Raphael in healing Adam’s emotional health

He has a pet dragon. The dragon likes Adam

He [would be] conflicted in Charlie’s redemption plan

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. His favorite instrument is the harp

Remiel/Jeremiel (Archangel) - Kindness

He is a kind, caring, and understanding angel who wishes the best for everyone

As the archangel of hope, Remiel tends to see the best in everyone. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t see the bad things either

He is an optimist

He is that one angel everyone goes to for comfort

He is usually the voice of reason

Like Cassiel, he also helps Adam in healing his emotional pain

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. His favorite instrument is the grand piano

[will] support Charlie’s redemption plan

“Please don’t mistake me as the fallen Ramiel. We’re different”

(I struggled with coming up hc for Remiel and Cassiel)

Bonus - Angels I want to create a character for:

Ariel (Archangel) - self proclaimed “Michael’s girl best friend!” Totally supports Michael and Adam’s relationship. Angry at Lucifer

Jophiel (Archangel) - sees Adam as the most beautiful creation. She hangs with Metatron often. Adam has deep respect for her.

Metatron (Archangel) - Human name: Enoch.

Chazaqiel (Watcher - Fallen) - Sahaquiel’s younger sister

Raguel (Archangel)

Selaphiel/Selathiel (Archangel)

Well this is long so I’ll end it here. I enjoy reading about Theology so this was really fun!

[ineffablenlghtingales]

Look, the thing(s) I love about Good Omens is this.

1) It's witty. The humour is quick, clever and it's almost like blink-and-you-miss-it.

2) There's TONS of hidden things, references (not to mention those of Doctor Who among others)

3) The amazing storytelling. I've watched shows that have been well written and have twists and turns and whatnot but I have not before seen one like this that portrays the events in a way that (well I don't want to say 'misdirect' in the sense that they're directing us wrong but that they're leading us to believe on thing and actually doing another) gets us to think one thing and then another.

Case in point: The spray bottle Crowley uses when dealing with Hastur and Ligur. We see him (I'd say exaggeratedly but let's be real, he knows how dangerous holy water is for someone like him) preparing to handle the thermos Azi gave him and carrying it gingerly with tongs while wearing gloves that cover most of his arms and a smock. Now he's STILL holding the spray bottle that way when he carries it (but the spray bottle, we later discover, didn't have any holy water). It was pointed out to me that this could possible have been to make us thing that it had holy water because up until the moment when the droplet rolls down and lands on Crowley's finger, we're all not sure and probably crying out "No! NO! Crowley, no!" But then we realize, with Hastur, that it didn't have any. Other point, the appearance swap. I don't know about everyone else because you all were there when this stuff all happened and I've only just joined this wonderful fandom but when I saw that episode, and I saw my boys about to face their impending annihilation, I was thinking, "Well, damn, how are they gonna get out of that." But then the swap happened. It's so clever, and I love it.

4) The complexity of the characters and the perhaps intentional reversal of what might be stereotypical ideals

Case in point: Crowley. He's a demon, the Serpent of Eden who tempted Eve and brought about the downfall of the human race. But he's not entirely evil (we see that in the fact that he didn't want to and didn't kill Job's children or his goats...the fact that he, of his own volition, stopped a girl from unaliving herself despite the punishment that would mean for him and his concern, care, whatever you want to call it for people. Wanting to get them out of harm's way when Shax and her demons came to attack, pleading with God not to test humanity to the point of destroying them...the list goes on.

Need I say more? I am in love and I do not understand how I did not discover this earlier. Ah, of course, also David and Michael's chemistry and fantastic acting, that's a big factor too.

[littlepatchofhell]

Hozier's management people: so, Andrew. What were you thinking for the new music video?

Andrew Hozier-Byrne: Maybe... doctors dancing? That way, everyone's masked up and safe as possible. And you can turn the hospital gowns into those choir gowns, that'd be striking.

Management: what about your role? It's your song, your fans want to see you perform it.

Andrew: oh, erm. Yeah. Well. Uh... what hasn't been done to me in a music video yet?

Management: well, we arrested you in From Eden, took off an arm and a leg in Eat Your Young, burned you in Dinner and Diatribes. Also, had you slick your hair back and shave your beard to make the terrifying anti-andrew.

Andrew: can't do that again, the psychic damage alone is... uh- what if I just died? Just kicked it on the operating table during an emergency surgery or something. Could you imagine the weight of that loss on the mind of a stranger? Some surgeon who just got their license, exposed to some new horror while I watch the psychedelic light show of my own dying brain.

Management: Sounds great! we'll see what it takes to get you rigged up for fake heart surgery.

Andrew: oh... I was just thinking outloud. But yeah, I guess it'd be quite cinematic, wouldn't it?

[etherealsdreaming]

Assassins Finding Out Their S/O Is A Witch 💙

Altair Ibn La’Ahad

💙 When he learned; he wasn’t surprised one bit as everything added up, now making sense. All the late nights out, the strange herbs and things made and hidden away in your shared home. But unlike others he was more curious than fearful. In fact so much he would begin to ask questions, understand, and learn all the secrets to life, to the universe. To know that hidden knowledge. He wouldn’t be concerned about your safety knowing you have handled yourself quite fine before he met you and would find that Masyaf is one of the safest places for you where he’d be least concerned.

Connor Kenway

💙 He would be the one whose most accepting of it. Some of it is similar to what his own tribe’s beliefs and practices so he’d be the one who would help you gather materials for any spells/rituals. Even learning green witchcraft and herbalism himself. As for safety I wouldn’t think he wouldn’t be as concerned for yours seeing as the homestead is full of more trustworthy, openminded people who happen to know of Connors native and warrior like background; besides that others may see you as only a doctor. But he would warn you even on the request of Achilles in hopes you wouldn’t speak of it to others outside the safety net. But you always knew to never do such a thing.

Ezio Auditore

💙 It would depend on which Ezio we’re talking about. If he was his younger version; he would be open to it but still question your belief and the way you do things; especially if you believe in multiple existing gods. But after his meeting with Minerva he would believe there’s more to life than meets the eye. Therefore be more accepting and even curious; willing to enjoy the few moments when you open up and talk about it and even watch your work from afar. But if you aren’t in a relationship with him nor the type to fall for his charm then he may be afraid if he offended you and if you might curse him for it. Or he may ask you to do a reading on why he keeps falling into a cycle of never having love or if he ever will find love for that matter. But who knows maybe your cards indicated your future relationship together. 😉 Since it was a time when the witch trials occurred; Ezio would be fearful of your safety. You’d find him being overprotective and upset whenever you ventured out or did anything careless or in which would make you appear to be a witch. (Like if you were to heal people) But knowing you may do so anyways, to the least he would ask you to do so only near the villa and that he’d be the one gather ingredients himself.

Arno Dorian

💙 Although the witch trials declined considerably and even convicting a person difficult; it still worried him. Therefore he would still guard you from any suspicious people. On the other hand he will be confused as to why you believe yourself to be a witch. Yes, there are pieces of Eden with mystical powers. But this is different and he may appear unbelieving or not take it serious. That’s until you prove a point of his “gifts,” his abilities to see things that are not there or to witness memories through people and objects. You’d consider this his “third eye sense,” clairvoyance, or Psychometry. He would be surprised you know of it as he never told you. If not that he’ll start believing you more when he sees spells coming to fruition and your simple “knowing of things.”