#eddie's gonna stare at him with heart eyes while buck tells the team about the average lifespan of a bee
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Pretty Boy - Ch 6 (Buddie x Reader)
Summary:Â You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize heâs staring at your hand, which is still on Eddieâs knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where youâre an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.
Ch 1Â |Â Ch 2Â |Â Ch 3Â |Â Ch 4 | Ch 5
Chapter Summary: The tension between you and Buck brings you and Eddie closer.
Word Count: 3.3k Warnings: none
Things between you and Buck are⊠weird. Awkward. Uncomfortable. The last time you had a real conversation with him, it was a fight, but it ended with you saying how much you care about him. Itâs left you feeling like thereâs an open wound on your chest, one that exposes your heart. You feel vulnerable, and you hate it. Your hatred of the feeling triumphs over your desire to be around him, at least for now.
In a weird silver lining, your lack of time with Buck has created room for one of your other coworkers â Eddie. Talking to Eddie when Buck was around always felt strange, like there was something in the air that wasnât supposed to be. Which is funny, because when itâs the two of them, theyâre as thick as thieves. Something about you being in the mix feels like adding oil to water.
You like to think youâve gotten to know Eddie relatively well in the last few weeks. So when heâs staring off into space while the rest of the team is eating breakfast, you donât feel awkward asking what heâs thinking about.
âNothing,â he says, turning his coffee mug absentmindedly. âJust⊠this new school with Christopher.â
âDonât think itâs a good fit?â You ask.
âNo, itâs perfect,â Eddie replies, turning his attention to you.
You smile softly. âThen whatâs the problem?â
âThey need to do a family interview.â
âAgain, whatâs the problem?â you chuckle. âI mean, arenât the divorce and custody agreement papers enough?â
âThey would be⊠if I had them.â
You frown. âWhat?â
Eddie sighs as he rubs his forehead. He leans closer so youâre the only one who can hear him. âWeâre still married.â
Apparently, you donât know a goddamn thing about Eddie.
âOh,â is all you manage to get out.
Eddie chuckles briefly. âYeah.â
âWow. Just⊠from how you talk about her, you made it sound like things were⊠over over. Like, officially over.â
â Shannon and I arenât officially⊠anything these days.â
âYouâre officially husband and wife.â
Eddie rolls his eyes, but he smiles as he does it. âTouchĂ©.â
âWhatâre you gonna do?â you ask softly after a moment.
He sets his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands together. âI donât know.â
You just watch him and canât shake the helplessness that washes over you. Eddieâs in a tough spot; no matter what you say, you canât fix it. All you can do is be there.
âTell me what I can do,â you say.
Eddie looks up at you with a lopsided grin. There arenât many things you wouldnât do to keep it on his face.
âIâve been told Iâm a lot of fun when I drink,â you continue. âWell, when I have three drinks Iâm fun: thatâs when I get dancy. After five drinks, I get sad. You can pick the number.â
Eddie laughs.
9-1-1 dispatch is down, making doing your job almost impossible. LA is a maze; without GPS navigation, you rely on your phone and eyes to do most of the work. Itâs a miracle that dispatch existed before computers.
Youâre in the passengerâs seat of the rig, and you tell Hen to make a right turn. When you pull up to whatâs supposed to be the scene, though, thereâs nothing.
âDispatch, this is RA 118,â you say into the radio. âThereâs nothing here.â
âNo pregnant woman?â A dispatcher asks.
âThereâs no building. Itâs an empty lot.â
âStand by, 118.â
You hang the radio with a huff.
âWhatâs going on with you?â Hen asks.
You frown and look over at her. âWhat?â
âYouâve been⊠off lately,â she explains. âLike, youâve got this short fuse now.â
âWhy shouldnât I? We canât even do our fucking jobs because some moron canât fix a computer!â
Hen raises her eyebrows.
âOkay, point taken.â
âBuck says you two havenât talked in a while.â
âWell, heâs a firefighter and Iâm a paramedic. We can work the same shift and not see each other,â you shrug. â I donât know why heâs talking to you about it.â
âIâm not sure, but⊠it sounded like Iâm not the only one worried about you.â
You play with your hands in your lap.
Hen sighs. âLook, I donât know what happened between you two, but I hope it gets fixed, because you two are miserable without each other.â
âItâs not like that-â
Hen raises a hand to silence you. âI donât know what you guys are⊠best friends, work spouses, or dating. Frankly, I donât care. All I know is that, for better or for worse, you need each other. â
â118, you're gonna need to proceed to San Vicente, east of the Miracle Mile District,â dispatch crackles over the radio. âThe nearest cross street is Sixth.â
You pick it up and push the button. âRA 118, copy that.â
âWhere the hell have you guys been?â
When you finally arrive at the correct building, youâre faced with a pregnant woman lying on the lobby floor. A small crowd has formed around them, which you push your way through.
âWe are fighting a system outage, sir,â Bobby explains, âwe apologize for the delay.â
You crouch next to the patient on one side while Hen starts an IV on the other side.
âHi,â you introduce yourself and don some gloves. âWhatâs your name?â
âSonia. Iâm 39 weeks pregnant, and 38 years old, which makes me a geriatric pregnancy,â she laughs a little. âGod, I hate that word.â
âWord doesnât matter: you still get a baby out of it,â you smile. âIâm gonna check how progressed you are, okay?â
She nods.
â10 centimeters, 100% effaced,â you observe. âYouâre doing great, okay? On this next contraction, youâre gonna push, alright, Sonia?â
She doesnât respond, so you look up.
Her expression changed. A moment ago, she was nervous but smiling. Now, her face is flattened, and sheâs staring ahead at nothing.
âThere's something wrong with the baby,â she says quietly.
Your body goes numb.
There are a few things you never want to hear a patient say, and âsomething is wrongâ might be at the top of the list. Itâs called âimpending doomâ â thereâs no obvious threat, but it feels like something is about to go terribly wrong. Youâve seen patients die within minutes of saying something doesnât feel right.
âYour baby is fine, Sonia,â you assure. âYou'll-you'll be able to see for yourself in just a minute.â
âNo! No, this was a mistake, all of it,â Sonia cries. âRoger was right to panic. Look, we can't do this. I can't... I can't do this. I shouldn't have this child.â
âHey! Hey, Sonia, look at me,â you say, patting her knee to get her attention.
It takes her a moment, but her eyes eventually meet yours.
âAll you have to do is push,â you tell her. âThatâs it, okay? Just push.â
She still looks terrified, yet she nods.
On the next contraction, Sonia pushes. You coach her through the contractions, telling her when to push and when to rest. It only takes a few rounds until the baby is fully born.
âHeâs here!â you exclaim as you wrap the baby in a towel.
Thereâs some happy laughter and a round of applause from the crowd as the baby cries.
âBeautiful boy, itâs time you meet your mom,â you say as you move to place the baby on Soniaâs chest.
Sheâs staring at the ceiling, her expression slack.
âIâve got the baby,â Eddie interrupts, taking the baby from you so you can work.
âSonia?â you say, rubbing your knuckles on her sternum. She winces, but barely.
âI canât get a systolic above 70,â Hen says as she deflates the blood pressure cuff.
âSheâs cyanotic,â you say, noting the blue tinge to her lips and fingernails. âSheâs in shock.â
âHemorrhagic?â Hen questions.
âSheâs barely bleeding,â you shake your head.
You press your fingers to her neck. You donât feel a pulse.
âLost a pulse, starting compressions!â you shout.
Everything starts to move a hell of a lot quicker. Within seconds, the defibrillator is at your side, and as you compress Soniaâs chest, Hen is placing the pads. Eddie has a finger on her neck to ensure your compressions are effective.
When you get Sonia on the gurney, Eddie tags you out as the compressor to give you a break. Your entire body shakes with adrenaline, yet you help pack her into the rig and climb inside.
âShe was fine,â Eddie mutters as he compresses. âBirth was going like clockwork, even for a geriatric pregnancy.â
âSudden despair and fear and anxiety, rapid loss of BP, subsequent cardiovascular collapseâŠâ you think aloud. It dawns on you. âOh my god.â
âWhat?â
Youâre reaching for your phone, dialing the phone number of the hospital youâre heading to. âItâs an Amniotic Fluid Embolism.â
Eddie looks over to you. His brow is damp with sweat. âShe could be in DIC.â
âShe needs Mass Transfusion Protocol,â you agree. You raise the phone to your ear. âLA general, this is RA 118 en route, I need to speak to your ER charge nurse.â
When youâre rolling through the ER doors, youâre kneeling over Sonia on the gurney as you do compressions. Doctors and nurses are shouting directions at each other, but all you focus on is your arms moving up and down.
You hop off so they can move her off of the gurney and onto the hospital bed. In the process, you notice that the defibrillator is showing Soniaâs in Ventricular Tachycardia â a shockable rhythm.
âV-Tach,â you say normally at first, then shout. âV-Tach! Everyone clear!â
The ER staff has no idea who you are, but when someone shouts those words, anyone with a medical background knows to listen. Everyone backs away with their hands raised. After hitting the âchargeâ button, you do a quick survey to ensure no one is touching Sonia. Then, you hit the lightning bolt to deliver a shock.
Soniaâs body jerks at the electricity. The EKG tracing goes from tombstone shapes to a flatline. Then, thereâs a beep and a QRS complex. Then another, and another.
âGot a pulse!â a random voice shouts.
You make your way out of the trauma bay and into the hallway, where Eddieâs waiting for you.
âThat was⊠amazing,â Eddie says.
You stand next to him wordlessly. You nod but then let out a sob as you collapse against the wall.
Eddie helps lower you to the floor. He keeps a hand on your shoulder, squeezing tightly.
âGod, this is embarrassing,â you remark between a few sobs.
âIt isnât,â Eddie immediately responds. âWeâve all been there.â
âItâs, uh, itâs how my mom died,â you say with a sad laugh. âThey didnât catch it in time. She bled to death internally. I just⊠I donât know what I wouldâve done if she didnât pull through.â
âShe did,â Eddie says, moving his hand from your shoulder to your knee. âShe pulled through because of you.â
You nod again, wiping away some of your tears. âThank you.â
Eddie nods in return. You notice that his gaze goes from your eyes to your lips and back up to your eyes.
It happens in the smallest of movements, but before you know it, your forehead is pressed against Eddieâs. You can feel his breath on your mouth. You quietly gasp at the sensation, and it makes him sigh.
You press your lips together. âYouâre married.â
âShe wants a divorce,â Eddie whispers.
You smile sadly. âYouâre still married.â
Eddie sighs again, but this time, he moves away from you.
âIâm not saying it can never happen,â you say quietly. âAll Iâm saying is that Iâm not that kind of girl. And you definitely arenât that kind of guy.â
Eddie nods, his mouth shifting into a few different expressions.
You rise to your feet and offer Eddie a hand. âLetâs get back to work, Edmundo.â
Eddie laughs genuinely at the use of his full name. He takes your hand and uses it to help get himself up, but he continues holding it when heâs standing.
âBack to work,â he agrees and squeezes your hand before letting go.
Youâre heading out a scene call, fire in progress with multiple victims suspected. Youâre driving the rig while Eddie sets up the back. The 118 is the nearest firehouse, so your unit will be the first on the scene. It comes with a lot of responsibility, but you know you and Eddie are ready for it.
That is, until thereâs a massive âBOOMâ from behind you.
You immediately pull over and look in your rearview. The engine following behind you is now on fire and lying on its side in the middle of the intersection. You can see a few firefighters lying on the pavement.
âEddie, grab our bags!â you shout as you unclick your seatbelt.
You fly out of the rig and meet Eddie in the back. Instead of handing you your bag, he sets a hand on your shoulder and pushes you both to the side of the ambulance.
âWhat the hell?â You ask.
âThereâs a bomber,â he says in a low tone.
âWhat?â you ask again, peering to the side of him.
Sure enough, thereâs a kid â no older than twenty â with several pipe bombs strapped to his chest. Heâs holding what appears to be the detonator in his hand. Someone is laying at his feet, his leg pinned under the passenger side of the engine.
Buck was sitting in the passengerâs seat.
You try rushing forward again, and Eddie grabs you by the waist this time.
âItâs Buck!â you scream as you struggle against him.
âI know,â Eddie says, his arms wrapped around you as he presses your back to his chest.
âWe have to do something!â you cry, still thrashing against Eddie.
âWe have to wait for the scene to clear,â Eddie explains. Itâs more than a little annoying how calm he sounds. âIf you go in now, both of you could die.â
âSo what, we just let him die?â You ask, but youâve stopped fighting.
Eddie doesnât say anything, but his grip around you loosens. Eventually, you feel his arms drop back to his sides. Thatâs when you make a run for it.
You make it far enough to catch the bomberâs attention. You raise your hands in the air.
âIâm not who you want,â you explain, âI just want to help him. He has nothing to do with this. He has friends and family⊠heâs my family. Please, just let me help him.â
The bomber looks from you to Buck, then back at you. âHeâs collateral damage.â
âIs that how you see yourself?â Bobby interrupts. He approaches with his hands raised.
The bomberâs attention shifts to Bobby, the person heâs been after this whole time. You use it as a window of opportunity to approach Buck slowly. When you finally reach him, you crouch down by his head.
âHey, Pretty Boy,â you say softly. You set a hand on his head. âHowâre you feeling?â
His left leg is the one thatâs pinned, and heâs lying on his stomach. He tries to look up at you. âYou shouldnât be here. Itâs not safe.â
âI could say the same thing to you,â you joke. You move your hand to his neck. âAre you in pain?â
âNo, just kind of numb,â he says. âThatâs not good, right?â
Your heart sinks. âYouâre in shock: itâs normal.â
Bobby manages to distract the bomber long enough to subdue him. As the bomber gets rushed off, the rest of your team rushes in.
âEddie, start two lines, wide open,â you instruct. âHen, get him in the C-collar.â
You dig in the medi bag for a tourniquet. As you apply it, you try to drown out the sound of Buck crying out in pain.
âHow are we doing?â Bobby asks as you stand.
âWeâre out of time,â you mumble. âWe need to get him out and to the nearest trauma center.â
Any extra body moves to the truck, waiting for the count to lift it. You place yourself in front of Buck, taking both of his hands.
âWeâre gonna get you out,â you promise.
He nods slightly.
âOkay, my count,â you say as you move your hands to underneath his arms. â1⊠2⊠3!â
As everyone begins to push, you start pulling on Buck. He isnât budging.
âItâs too heavy,â Bobby says.
âWe got anything on the truck we can use for leverage?â Eddie suggests.
âNo, we need more people,â Chim says, picking up his radio. âDispatch, this is 118âŠâ
Thereâs some clattering from across the way. Bystanders are pushing through the barricades to help. This time, youâre able to get him out.
You get him on the backboard, then onto the gurney. The whole time, youâre telling him that he did a good job and that heâll be okay. As youâre running with him to the ambulance, he mumbles something. Once youâre settled into the rig, you ask him to repeat himself.
âYouâre my family, too,â he mutters.
You wait in the waiting room the whole time Buck is in surgery. When he makes it out of recovery and to the ICU room, you donât leave his side. Youâre sure visiting hours are over, but you stay out of the nurseâs way. She doesnât say anything; she just gives you a sympathetic look every once in a while.
You hear him stir a little bit. You look up from your phone to see Buck blinking awake.
âWelcome back,â you smile.
âYouâre here,â he says, voice rough.
âWhere else would I be?â
Buck looks around the room, slowly orienting himself. His eyes eventually land on his leg, which is in a cast and suspended in a sling. His eyes widen, and he lets out a few breaths as he tries to sit up.
âOkay, okay,â you set a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back. âItâs gonna be okay.â
âIs it?â Buck asks. âDid you talk to the doctor? Did he say anything about how the surgery went?â
âJust that you made it through,â you say softly. âAnd you're now the proud owner of one titanium rod and four beautifully cobalt-chromed screws.â
âBefore they wheeled me in, he, uh⊠he said he didn't know how it was gonna go.â
You take his hand gently. âYouâll walk again, Buck.â
âYeah, h-he said⊠he said he was pretty confident about that. He, uh, he just... he didn't know if I would ever⊠work again.â
You run a hand over your face. âOkay, I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you everything will work out how you want it to. But what I will say is that we should take this moment to be glad that youâre alive.â
âIâm really sorry about our fight,â Buck apologizes.
You laugh. âBuck, that is⊠so far from being important right now.â
âNo, it isnât,â he insists. âIt wasnât fair, how I reacted. Iâm proud of you. I was just⊠scared.â
âScared of what?â
âLosing you,â he admits quietly.
âYeah, well, I was pretty scared of that today, so weâre definitely even,â you joke. Your smile softens and you squeeze his hand. âIâm not going anywhere.â
You move your hand to his forehead. You trail it down to his cheek, letting it rest for a moment. You turn your body to face him better. His eyes are closed, which youâre grateful for because if he were looking at you, you wouldnât have the guts to do what you want to do.
You kiss him. Itâs hesitant at first, and when he doesnât react right away, you start to pull back. Before you can, Buck has his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. Your hand moves from his cheek down his neck and eventually rests on his chest. You only pull away when your lungs are burning from lack of air.
Buck traces his thumb over your lips. âYou have no idea how long Iâve wanted to do that.â
You blush, laugh, and bury your face in the crook of his neck.
#911 abc#evan buckley#evan buckley x reader#911 show#911 on abc#911 reader insert#evan buckley/reader#eddie diaz x reader#eddie diaz#evan buckley x eddie diaz x reader#Buddie x reader#buddie x reader#i can write
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
i for one can't wait to see buck on my screen sharing all his little bee facts <3
#he is a save the bees person i just know it#he's gonna feel so bad for the poor beenado bees#eddie's gonna stare at him with heart eyes while buck tells the team about the average lifespan of a bee#while they're in the middle of a literal beenado#it's gonna be so fun <3#one of his bee fun facts better not be that he's fucking allergic lmao#evan buckley#911 abc#michelleâs 911 thoughts
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
đ©șđ đłïžâđ
đ©ș - The Nurse!Eddie fic:
----------
Itâs late, I should probably go,â Buck said, and Eddie felt his heart sink at that.Â
âOh, yeah,â Eddie replied. âYou have a shift tomorrow?â
âNah, but Iâm taking Maddie to her checkup in the morning,â he rolled his eyes. âShe still hasnât told Chim about it. She claims itâs because she doesnât want him telling people, but itâs really because sheâs too chicken to admit that she wants to raise this kid with him.â
âSheâll have to tell him sooner or later,â Eddie chuckled. âHeâs gonna notice when the baby looks like him.â
âI just donât know what sheâs scared of,â Buck sighed. âI mean heâs totally into her, she just has this whole fixation on the fact that heâs the first friend she really made since moving to LA and she doesnât want to jeopardize that.â
âShe does realize theyâre going to have a literal kid together, right?â Eddie asks with an amused smirk.
Buck lets out an incredulous laugh as he rubs his face in his hands. âHey, do you still need me to pick up Chris from school tomorrow?â
âIf you donât mind,â Eddie grimaced at having to ask Buck to do that. âI work a 12 tomorrow, and I wonât get off until 7.â
âDo you need me to sit with him for the afternoon?â Buck asked. âJust so Isabel can get some rest.â
âI donât want to take your evening away from you,â Eddie turns from the sink to look at him.
âItâs no big deal,â Buck assured him. âI enjoy spending time with the little man.â
Buck was smiling brightly at Eddie, and Eddie couldnât help but return the smile as he crossed his arms.
âIâll repay you with pizza?â Eddie suggested.
âDeal,â Buck smiled. âJust donât get two separate ones because Chris likes peppers on his and I donât. I can pick them off.â
âBuck, youâre babysitting my son on your day off work,â Eddie laughed. âIâm not forcing you to eat pizza you donât like.â
âItâs fine, Eds, honest,â Buck smiled. âOh- I almost forgot⊠If itâs okay with you I thought about taking him to the zoo on Saturday? Since you have a shift.â
âBuck you donât have to let him drag you around everywhere,â Eddie said.
âIâm not!â Buck argued. âI told you, Eddie, I like spending time with him⊠he reminds me of a mini you.â
Eddieâs smile drops for a moment at the idea of Buck enjoying spending time with Chris because he reminds him of Eddie. He honestly doesnât want to think about Chris ending up like him.
âI hope heâs not like me,â Eddie said with a self-deprecating laugh as he turned to face the sink again.
----------
đ - The Fake Husband fic:
----------
Thankfully, before Eddie could make himself sick at even thinking about that prospect, Buckâs voice snapped him out of his trance. âOh, shit.â
Eddie blinked a few times before looking up at Buckâs face, scrunched up in aggravation as he stared into the basket while placing the items on the conveyor belt.
âWhatâs wrong?â Eddie asked, furrowing his brows.
âI forgot to pick up that non-dairy parmesan for Julie,â Buck sighed. âCould you stand here while I run back and grab it? I know exactly what Iâm looking for.â
âYeah, of course,â Eddie immediately accepted, taking the basket from Buck.
âYouâre the best,â Buck gave Eddie a quick squeeze on his shoulder before he was bounding back into the store, leaving Eddie alone at the checkout with an older woman who smiled at him sweetly as he continued placing items on the belt.
âLooks like youâre cooking for quite the crowd,â she observed the copious amount of ingredients Buck had bought.
âWeâre firefighters so we usually do a pretty big team lunch when weâre on shift,â Eddie smiled at her.
âOh, a couple of LAâs finest, eh?â she chuckled as she continued scanning their items. âItâs quite a dangerous job.â
âIt can be,â Eddie agreed. âBut Iâve got a pretty good partner out there who has my back.â
âWell, I think itâs lovely they let you and your husband work together,â she beamed, finishing up scanning the items. âI know sometimes it must be tricky, but it must be nice to know you have someone out there you can trust.â
Eddie opened his mouth to correct her- he knew it would be the right thing to do. Both for Buckâs sake and for his own. It wasnât fair to either of them for Eddie to keep living in this fantasy world he kept creating for himself where Buck actually wanted him in the same way.Â
âYeah,â he smiled, âIt really is.â
----------
đłïžâđ - The Pride fic;
----------
âDid you bring any cash with you, by any chance?â Buck asked, leaning in close so Eddie could hear him.
âI got a 20 in my wallet,â Eddie replied.Â
âGive it to me, Iâm gonna go exchange it for some ones,â Buck held his hand out, as Eddie frowned.
âWhy?â he asked.
âItâs common courtesy to tip drag queens during a show,â Buck told him. âI meant to bring some for both of us, but I forgot and only had time to get cash for myself.â
Eddie nodded, pulling out his wallet and retrieving the $20 bill, passing it to Buck who quickly escaped back into the crowd of people. He sipped his beer as he waited for Buck to return, looking around at the tiny interior of the club, decorated in an industrial loft vibe- very similar to Buckâs apartment.
The lights suddenly dimmed and a voice came over the speakers on the walls and ceiling, pulling Eddie from his fixation on the roomâs design. His eyes were drawn to the small stage on the far end of the room, where a spotlight had slowly appeared on the curtains center stage.
âAttention Ladies, Gentlemen, and all those in between,â the voice announced over the speaker. âWelcome to Los Angeles Pride, 20241â
The room erupted into cheers around them as Buck returned with a wad of cash, handing the stack of $1 bills to Eddie. Eddie brought the hand holding the cash down, resting it on his leg as the announcer continued.Â
âThe Q room is proud to present our very own, Ophelia Morningwood!â The announcerâs voice boomed through the room as the crowds around them broke into more cheering.
Buck and Eddie joined in the applause as the speakers began to blast the opening chords of Patti LaBelleâs Stir it Up. The curtains on the small stage opened to reveal Ophelia Morningwood- her back to the audience- in a floor length gown made almost entirely of sequined fringe in an ombre of dark blue, white, and teal. Around her arms lay a white feather boa with tassels in the same color dangling down from both ends; atop her head a sculpted beehive updo right out of one of Abuelaâs old photo albums.
Eddie watched as she moved in time with the music, spinning around on one of her silver stiletto heels as she began lip-syncing. Eddie furrowed his brows as he tried to place where he knew that face from. He looked over at Buck who seemed to have the same puzzled expression.Â
They watched as she moved around the room, collecting tips from different patrons as she performed the song with ease and sass in every move she made. It wasnât until she stood about 5 feet away from them that Eddie realized why that face was so familiar- and apparently so did Buck as they both turned to look at each other, wide-eyed.
âJosh?â They both said, moments before the dispatcher- in full drag- approached their table, lip syncing directly to both of them as they sat, Eddieâs jaw on the floor, and Buck with a stupefied smile on his face.
----------
#911 abc#911#911 on abc#eddie diaz#buddie#evan buckley#buddie 911#buck and eddie#911 buddie#buddie ao3#ao3 buddie
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Part eleven of the TA Grindr au
Maddie is good humoured about helping Buck find the appropriate clothes for this not-date, but she does not approve of his living situation.
âYou have to move out,â she tells him when sheâs navigated the carefully balanced cases of beer that line the edge of the staircase, his roommatesâ and his own bicycle which live in the hallways in case of prowlers, and Connorâs laundry.
âYeah, I know,â Buck says. It wonât be until heâs graduated because for all its other flaws, this place is close to campus. And, helpfully, to the cafĂ© Eddie picked.
Maddie sets him up with a soft grey sweater that she claims makes his eyes pop, ignores his comment that theyâre just blue and itâs not like theyâre gonna magically get more blue if he wears certain colours, and then banishes him to the cafĂ© before he can chicken out.
Eddieâs already there when Buck arrives, sitting at a table in the window with his gaze fixed intently on his phone. Buck glances at his own, discovers itâs 10:59, and as soon as the clock flips over to 11, Eddie looks away from the technology and starts scanning the cafĂ© door.
Heâs nervous, Buck realises.
âPlease donât be disappointed that itâs me,â Buck whispers, just to himself, and heads inside.
Eddieâs gaze catches on him the second he steps into the cafĂ©, and for the space of a heartbeat, Buck wonders if heâs not going to recognise him, but then Eddieâs face melts into a soft â almost relieved? â smile.
âH-hey,â Buck says.
âHey,â Eddie replies.
Buck struggles for something better to say for just a second and then catches the cup of coffee in front of Eddie, points lamely between it and the counter, and goes to get his own. When he returns, Eddieâs still looking at him like heâs trying to drink him with his eyes.
âI wouldâve gotten you something but I wasnât sure how you took it,â Eddie says while Buck sits down. Almost as soon as the words are out of his mouth, his eyes shoot open wide. âCoffee! I mean, I wasnât sure how you drank your coffee, that came outâŠwrong.â
And just like that the tension breaks.
Buck is badly suppressing a snicker when he says, âwell, I mean, I take it most ways, butâŠâ
Eddie blushes deliciously, Buck discovers. He wonders now how many times heâd been blushing when Buck sent him flirtier texts, and how many times heâd made himself blush.
âUh, anyway, business first,â Buck suggests and pulls out the kindergarten information. He hands the dossier heâs put together across the table to Eddie, who stops blushing and looks for just a second like he might cry. âAnd if it helps, I know a few of the admins in some of the schools and can probably talk to them.â
âThank you,â Eddie says, quiet and intensely sincere.
âYeah, of course, any time,â Buck says.
Eddie carefully places the dossier into his own bag and then looks Buck in the eyes for just a second before looking away like heâs afraid to be caught staring. And then realises heâs allowed to and looks back and Buck had not properly appreciated how warm and lovely his eyes were before this moment.
âSo whatâs the nickname you go by?â Eddie asks.
âOh! Itâs Buck,â he says. âThere were three Evans on the team.â
âBuck,â Eddie repeats like heâs trying it on for size. âIt suits you.â
âIt also fits into a lot of bad puns and jokes,â Buck says. Eddieâs eyes go a little unfocused while he tries to think of the possibilities, and whatever he comes up with brings warm spots back to his cheeks, and Buck laughs. âDid you have any idea who I was?â
âNot officially,â Eddie says, and then looks down at his coffee to add, quietly, âbut I hoped it was you.â
Buckâs heart does a whole series of backflips. Not only is Eddie not disappointed itâs him, Eddie had hoped it would be. Which isâ
âWhy? Just because I kept turning up at your office hours trying really, really hard not to give myself away?â
âI recognised your hands when you turned in your midterm,â Eddie admits.
Buck tips his head sideways. âMy hands?â
Eddie nods, and is blushing so much his face almost matches his shirt.
âMy hands from my⊠Oh. Oh I see,â Buck says, and sips his coffee to keep himself from bursting out laughing while Eddie continues to blush.
Because he recognised Buckâs hands from the only picture he had of Buck. Which was, of course, his main pic on his Grindr profile, where his hand is only visible because itâs marking the outline of Buckâs dick.
âDid you, uh, did you spend a lot of time looking at that picture, Eddie?â Buck asks.
âI didnât know you were my student,â Eddie says, miserably embarrassed, and Buck just wants to lean across the table and cup his face in his hands and kiss him.
âIf it makes you feel any better, I spent the entire semester checking out your ass, so,â Buck says.
âI feel like that shouldnât make me feel better, but it does,â Eddie replies.
Buck grins. âGood.â
Inconceivably, they fall into a proper conversation after that. They talk about Buckâs goals as a future elementary school teacher and Eddie doesnât belittle him or ask why he thinks thatâs worth anything (like his parents had) or mock his idealism about it. And they talk about Eddieâs eventual goals for his PhD â which he apparently wishes heâd gone straight into instead of doing this stopover at an MA â and his designs on someday being a professor himself.
Itâs easy to talk to him, as easy as it had been to message, and they keep laughing together. They stay there, talking and getting along, up until the barista appears at their table to inform them that itâs 4pm and the cafĂ© is closing for the day.
âI guess we kinda lost track of time, huh?â Buck says as they walk back outside together.
âYeah, I guess,â Eddie says, a bit sheepish. His shoulder bumps against Buckâs when he rubs the back of his neck, and Buck feels it like a pulse of electricity down his arm.
âYou have to get home to Christopher, right?â Buck asks. He doesnât know what he wants the answer to be. If he wants Responsible Good Dad Eddie to make an appearance or if he wants this day to just keep going.
âActually, heâs having a sleepover with my abuela,â Eddie says. âTo make up for my long weekend of being the most boring father in existence.â
Buck laughs and keeps leaning against the small park bench beside him. Heâs pretty sure Eddieâs looking at his legs. âIâm sure youâre not boring.â
âAll he got to do this weekend was doodle on the 199 tests I had to grade,â Eddie says.
âI thought there were 200 students,â Buck replies, lifting an eyebrow when that makes Eddie clear his throat awkwardly.
âI had someone else grade your test,â he says. âJust in case.â
Buck nods and feels emboldened to take a step right into Eddieâs personal space. Eddie doesnât step back, but Buck can see his pulse jump in his throat. And oh, how Buck wants to fix his mouth on that.
âYou know, ah, there was something in your picture I couldnât stop looking at either,â Buck says.
âReally?â Eddie asks. He swallows. âWhat â what was it?â
That freckle at the top of your ribs, Buck thinks.
Instead, he gets just a little bit closer. Heâs close enough that he can feel Eddieâs body heat, warm against the slight bite of the December air. And then he pitches his voice low and asks, âCan I meet your cat?â
#ta grindr au#buddienights writes#buddie fic#buddie#911fic#who's the bigger tease: me or buck#cast your votes below lol
348 notes
·
View notes
Note
prompts 8 + 9 for Buck omgggg đ„Čđ„Čđ„Č
Canât Lose Him
Evan Buckley x ReaderÂ
Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of hospitals and injuries, minimal swearing, mentions of pregnancy and Chimâs accident, big brother!Chim
Prompts: #8: âyou promised me you wouldn't be reckless! You promised me!â #9: âDoes he know about the baby?âÂ
Category: mix of angst and fluff
Word Count: 2.4k
Authorâs Note: I loved writing this so thank you for requesting! :)Â
---
Pacing the room, Hen reached out for your hand. âCâmon, your feet must hurt. Sit downâ you sighed, once again you were in a hospital waiting room in the middle of the night with the team and Maddie because Buckâs idiotic self got himself hurt again.Â
âIâm okay Hen, thank youâ you gave her a slight smile. Bobby was talking to the doctors because you couldn't bring yourself to hear what heâs done this time. Bobby returned, Athena by his side now. âOh honey,â she pulled you into a hug, you could feel yourself melting into her arms, she sat with you and her arm wrapped around your shoulder. Bobby sat to the other side of you.Â
âThe doctor said that the pressure of the block cracked a rib, which then punctured a lung. He also has a mild concussion but they say it shouldn't be too badâÂ
âIs he out of surgery ?âÂ
âHe is, but heâs in recovery now. It might be a little bit before we get to see himâ Bobby gives your shoulder a squeeze, you nodded.
Taking a look around the waiting room, Chim held Maddie as she slept with her head on his shoulder. Eddie sat to the other side of them, on the phone with Carla and Christopher. Hen was now talking to Bobby about something.Â
This wasn't an unusual scene but a familiar one. Regardless of what was going on or who it was, the 118 always shows for their own.Â
A rather tall man came into the waiting room. âBuckley ?â he called out, everyone stood, the doctor seemed surprised to see so many people at 4 in the morning. Your hand was resting on your stomach, you could feel eyes burning into your side. Looking to the left, Chimâs eyes were fixed on your hand, you nodded in his direction with your brows furrowed. He shook his head, you didnât think much of it.Â
âWe can take one person in if someone would like to go in now? Heâs still asleep but heâs stable as of nowâ your heart sunk at the term âas of nowâ, shaking the feeling, you look over at Maddie.Â
âDo you want to go in first ?âÂ
âYou go ahead, I'll walk with you and then I'll see him after. I might take a lap, my back is killing meâ she gave your hand a squeeze, the two of you followed the doctor to a room down the hall.Â
She came in for a moment to kiss her brotherâs head and then left you alone in the room with him. You sat at his bedside, your hand held onto his. His hand was cold, the monitor was still going and you could hear his heart beating through the deafening silence but it felt strange.Â
Every time you found yourself back here, it felt odd.Â
Buck was a warrior in every sense of the word, he pulled through, always.Â
âOh baby, what did you get yourself intoâ sighing and leaning back into the chair. Once again, your hand comes down to rest on your stomach, the other hand still holding Buckâs. His hand twitched slightly, he was starting to wake up. âDonât move hun,â your hand rested on his chest softly, Buckâs brows furrowed.Â
âWh-who are you?â his head tilted slightly, your heart dropped. The panic started to set in but you knew better than to let him see it.Â
Heâll come around, heâs just woozy from surgery.Â
âWhy are you here?â he asked once again, âI'm-â you started but was cut off by a little chuckle from Buck. âYou ass!â you let out a breath, âgod, you scared meâ
âSorry baby, I didn't mean to scare youâÂ
âYeah? So why am I sitting in a hospital room while youâre all banged upâÂ
âWe could bang if you wantedâ he gave you one of his stupid wicked smiles
âEvan Buckley!â you scolded him, ânow is not the timeâ your hand held onto his arm, your finger tracing over the tattoo on his bicep. âYou really scared me, the whole punctured lung this isn't a cute look BuckâÂ
âReally ? And here I was thinking that I was pulling it offâÂ
Something flipped in you, you went from relief to anger in .2 of a second. âHow could you?â hitting his shoulder, you stood up. âOw! What did I do ? I'm just laying hereâ Buck whined, you know you didn't actually hurt him, he's just being dramatic.Â
âI know itâs your job to run into burning buildings but would it kill you to be safe? You can't fucking save anyone if youâre dead Evan!âÂ
âWoah, calm down first of all, and why are you calling me Evan ?âÂ
âIs that not your frigging name ?!âÂ
You were starting to lose your patience. You loved Buck, any and everyone knew that but you couldn't deal with how stupid he could be sometimes. Heâd run straight into danger to help others but not once would he stop to think of what could possibly happen to him.Â
âWhere is this coming from ?â he asked you, looking at you. He reached for your hand but you pulled away. You find yourself pacing again, trying to calm yourself before you strangle him with his IV line. âWhat do you mean âwhere is this coming from?â you had a giant block of concrete on your chest Buck! If Eddie didn't find you, you'd be dead, you were on the verge of death as it is.âÂ
âYou don-âÂ
âI don't know that ? I know youâre dumb enough to run into a collapsing building, especially after Bobby told you not to go back insideâ you gave him a look, your back up against the wall. Buckâs face went pale, he looked as if he saw a ghost.Â
âWhat? You thought Eddie wouldn't tell me about your little stunt ? You should know better than that.â
âY/n, baby, I didnât think anything would happen to meâÂ
âYou never think Buck, that's the problem! You promised me you wouldn't be reckless! You promised me! but you never listen, you never do. One of these days, you're going to walk in and not walk back out.â storming out of the room, Buck sat on the bed, his mouth hung open and confused as to what brought on the fit of rage you just had.Â
Maddie walks into the room, âwhereâs y/n?â she sits beside him. Buck rubs his forehead, âum- she just went for some airâÂ
--
It was around 5:30 in the morning, you sat outside on the hood of Buckâs jeep. You had dropped him off at work and taken the jeep for the day, hence why you had it right now.Â
Peaceful.
Thatâs how youâd describe your surroundings. There was no one in the parking lot, you laid back on the hood as your hand came down to your stomach once again, staring aimlessly up into the sky. It wasn't dark but the sun hadn't fully come up yet. It was right before dawn, the world felt like it paused, not completely, but just enough for you to take in these few moments of peace.Â
The weight shifted on the jeep, you opened your eyes to see Chim climbing up to sit beside you. âHey, everyoneâs looking for youâ he says, laying back onto the hood beside you. âYeah, I just needed some airâ lying through your teeth, you give him as best of a smile that you could muster up. Chimâs eyes fixated on your hand once again, you watched him, practically hearing the turning in his head.Â
âWhat's going on in there? The rebar taking its effect now?â you joke, he rolls his eyes.Â
âDoes he know about the baby?â he asks, you sit up and turn towards him. You hadn't told a soul.Â
âHow did-âÂ
âMaddie does it to- the hand on the belly thing. She's been doing it since before there was a bump. Just a motherly reflex I supposeâÂ
You stared off into space, Chim sat beside you quietly. âDoes he know?â he asks once again, you shake your head. âI know itâs not my place,â he rests his hand on your shoulder, âbut I think you should tell him. It might keep him from running into buildings without thinking.âÂ
âDid that work for you ?âÂ
âWhat do you mean ?âÂ
âWhen Maddie told you that she was pregnant, did you think twice before running into a burning building ?âÂ
âHonestly, at first it didn't. It didn't seem real until I saw the bump and heard the heartbeat. Then it all made sense ya know ? I couldn't risk getting hurt because I had something to live for, they were waiting for me to come homeâÂ
âThat's the thing, I don't want to lose him, Chim. I canât lose him. I love him and I need him here, the baby needs him. Thereâs no way I can do this by myselfâÂ
âYou can, I know you would be able to do it by yourself but you shouldnât have too. Buckâs an idiot but he loves you.â
Chim sat with you for a few more minutes, you considered everything he told you. How Buck might not change right away nor did you expect him too but if there was even a chance of him changing, youâd want him too. âReady to go back in?â Chim slides off the hood, holding his hand out to you. You hold his hand and he helps you off the hood.
âWe have a stop to make firstâ you walk in the opposite direction of Buckâs room. Chim follows you down to the gift shop, which was closed as it doesnât open until 7.âAre you kidding me?â you groan, leaning back against the door. âWeâll figure something out,â Chim looks around. Eddie comes around the corner, âwhat are you guys doing here?â he walks over.Â
âI needed something for BuckâÂ
âWhat did you need? Canât it wait until they open?âÂ
âEddie, I'm pregnantâ you just blurt out, Eddieâs jaw drops, literally.Â
âCongratulations!â he pulls you into a hug, âwait, youâre happy about it right?â he checks, you nod.Â
âI need one of those stupid âworldâs best dadâ shirts for Buck but it's closedâÂ
Eddie looks at Chim and then looks around. âAre we gonna?â Chim points towards the door, looking at Eddie. âYupâ Eddie looks around once more, âlean your head towards me y/nâ your face screws into a weird expression but abides anyways. Eddie pulls a bobby pin out of your hair, turning to the door and jams into the lock. He wiggles the pin around until the lock clicks open.Â
âVoilaâ he smiles as pushes the door open. The 3 of you walk in, Eddie stays by the door to make sure no one was coming. âChim, find a pen and paper for me please ?â you walk away to find the shirt you were looking for. Picking up 4, you shove them into a bag form behind the counter. You toss $30 onto the counter and scribble a little note for the person that opens that read:Â
Had an emergency, needed a few shirts. Hope this cash covers it. Thanks! :)Â
Eddie relocked the door before heading to Buckâs room. Everyone was now in the room, scattered in different places. Bobby was leaned up against a wall, Athena stood beside him, leaning into his side. Hen sat on the little counter by the window and Maddie was still in the chair beside his bed. Eddie went over and joined Hen by the window, Chim stood behind Maddie, his hand coming up to her shoulder.Â
âY/n..â Buck whispers as you walk in, you take a seat on the end of the bed by his hips. âIâm sorryâ he says, his hand reaching out for yours.Â
âYouâre an idiot but, I guess, I forgive youâ you say and Buck smiles at you. âWhatâs in the bag ?â he asks, you rest the bag on your lap. âSomething for you boysâ The guys exchange looks, Eddie and Chim knew you needed something for Buck but what did you get for them?Â
Pulling out the shirts, you handed one to Buck first. It was a plain blue t-shirt with big white bold letters that read âworldâs best dadâ. Buck looked down at the shirt and then back at you, he repeated that process a few times and after a couple minutes he finally asked you.Â
âAre you ?â he whispers, the room is silent.Â
âAm I?â you ask.
âPregnant ?â he finishes the question and you smile.Â
âYeah, I amâ your hand rests on his, he pulls you into his side for a hug. You hug him, trying not to squish him and hurt him even more.Â
âOkay,â you sit up and toss another shirt that said the same thing to Eddie. He caught it and smiled, âbecause Christopher couldn't have a better dad than youâ Eddie gives you a smile and whispers a thank you.Â
The next shirt gets tossed to Chim, he laughs. âYou got one for me too?â he asks, pulling the shirt on over his sweater. âYeah because baby girl Buckley is gonna be one lucky baby, despite your not-so-funny dad jokesâ Maddie laughs at the comment, Chim does too.Â
The last shirt goes over to Bobby. He gives you a look, âwhatâs this for ?â he asks, âBecause not only have you been amazing with May and Harry but youâve got a fire station full of âchildrenâ that rely on you. Just a thanks for bringing them home in one piece, well for the most partâ you pat Buckâs side.
The room is filled with happiness and love, the 118 was together once again, not just as firefighters but as a family.Â
--Â
taglist: @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover
#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley imagine#evan buckley oneshot#evan buckley fanfic#evan buckley fic#buck buckley#buck buckley x reader#buck buckley imagine#buck buckley oneshot#buck buckley fic#howard han#chimney han#eddie diaz#911#911onfox#911 fic#911 fanfic#911 imagine#911 oneshot#9-1-1#9-1-1 oneshot#9-1-1 fanfiction#9-1-1 reader insert#9-1-1 fic#9-1-1 imagine#9-1-1 fanfic#9-1-1 fox
788 notes
·
View notes
Text
itâs okay (not to be okay)
(read on ao3)Â
Pairing: Evan âBuckâ Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Summary:Â âGreat idea. Eddie really shouldnât be exerting himself right now.â
âSeriously, Buck?â Eddie asked, standing up with a huff.
Buck didnât have time to be frustrated, because Bobby was instructing him to assist with other patients and he had a job to do.
(Two jobs, if he counted protecting Eddie from himself.)
___________________________
[From: Ana]
Eddie had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. Heâs okay, but heâs struggling, Buck. I canât get through to him, but I think you can.Â
[From: Ana]
He doesnât want anyone to know. Chris had to tell the doctor he was shot. I donât know what to do.
[From: Ana]
He just dropped me off at my house. Maybe someone should check on him later?
Buck stared down at the messages on his phone, panic thrumming through his body with each passing moment. He ran his fingers through his hair and held in the breath he had sharply inhaled to hold back his own alarm. It was a feeling he was used to, one that he grew to absorb and hold back because he couldnât let it interfere with his life, his job. He needed a clear head and when he didnât have one, the panic would become too much to handle, a cross he couldnât and wouldnât let himself bear.
Eddie didnât panic. Eddie was the one who didnât make rash decisions, who thought through everything before he acted, who kept everyone else calm in each crisis the team had. His level head made him an amazing soldier, a phenomenal firefighter, an ideal father, and⊠well, everything Buck had ever wanted to be.Â
So to say he was worried about Anaâs texts was an understatement.Â
He held his phone up to his ear and when the sound of Eddieâs voice rung through the speaker, he deflated. The familiar sound of Eddieâs always professional voicemail pissed him off more than anything so he wasnât about to give up. He dialed the other number saved into his favorites and after a few rings, rustling sounded through.Â
âBuck?â Christopher asked, voice muffled with sleep. Buck checked the time on his watch and sighed.Â
âIâm sorry, buddy, you go to sleep. I was just trying to reachââ
âDadâs not gonna answer.âÂ
Christopher said the words so matter-of-factly that Buck felt his heartbeat speed up.Â
âYou think so? Why is that?âÂ
âHe told me and Ana not to tell anyone,â Christopher began.Â
Buck could hear his pout and he wanted to ruffle his hair and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he had to convince himself of it first. Christopher could see right through him and he wasnât willing to have the kid lose sleep over his own nerves.Â
âYou donât have to tell me anything,â Buck promised, âbut can you let me know what your dad is doing right now?âÂ
âHeâs in bed. He didnât even take a shower and he loves showers,â Christopher exaggerated. Buck let out a huff of laughter.Â
âYouâre observant, you know that?â A few moments of silence passed and even through the phone, Buck could hear Christopherâs worry. âHey, heâs okay, right?â
âI think so.â He didnât sound sure.Â
âWell, both Ana and I are looking after him and you know who else is?â Buck asked.Â
âWho?â Christopher whispered. His breathing was starting to slow, his voice sounding even more muffled as he slowly lulled himself to sleep.Â
â You . Heâs okay because he has you, just like he always has, got it?âÂ
âGot it,â Chris agreed quietly. âLove you, Buck,â he added.Â
The line went dead before Buck could say it back, but he figured Chris knew what his response would be anyway.Â
___________________________
Over the next day, Buck did what he did best. He watched. He noted Eddieâs behavior. He considered the inflections of his voice, the content of his words, the way he handled himself. To any outsider, it was like nothing ever happened.Â
Buck wasnât just anyone, especially to Eddie.
He pretended not to notice Eddieâs hesitation when he was tasked with helping Chim wire the air traffic controller. He pretended that Eddieâs hand didnât feel too heavy on his shoulder when he stood up to quickly diagnose the other man with a potential panic attack.Â
He pretended he didnât see the way Eddieâs hands trembled a little more than they usually did after a call while they made their way to the fire truck and ambulances with the victims. He pretended not to see Eddie close his eyes for a few moments and take a deep breath, in and out, calculated like it wasnât quite second nature anymore.Â
It wasnât until they entered the emergency department that he had ammo for confrontation.Â
âHey, what was with that doctor on the way in? Why is she asking if youâre alright?â Buck asked. He played nonchalance really well but he could be proud of himself for that later.Â
âIt was nothing.â Buck just stared and Eddie sighed. âI wasnât feeling well the other day, so⊠she checked me out.âÂ
âSheâs a cardiologist. At a hospital,â Buck supplied. He knew Eddie didnât think he was that stupidâor at least, he hoped. âAre you saying you had a heart attack?â Buck asked, immediately concerned that maybe he didnât let Ana and Christopher in on the full story.Â
âNo, Iâm not saying I had a heart attack. Iâm saying the opposite,â Eddie said smugly, âIâm saying I didnât have a heart attack.âÂ
âBut you did think you were having a heart attack,â Buck appended. He was leading Eddie to the point, feigning dumb for the good of the situation, but Eddie wouldnât budge.Â
âCan we just drop this?âÂ
Before Buck could argue, Hen walked over and asked, âGuys, want us to tag you out?â Eddie agreed, but Buck felt his annoyance rise within him. He couldnât stop himself from his next words.Â
âGreat idea. Eddie really shouldnât be exerting himself right now.âÂ
âSeriously, Buck?â Eddie asked, standing up with a huff.Â
Buck didnât have time to be frustrated, because Bobby was instructing him to assist with other patients and he had a job to do.Â
(Two jobs, if he counted protecting Eddie from himself.)Â
___________________________
The front door to Eddie's apartment slammed and Buck could see the tension jerk at Eddieâs shoulders.Â
âWere you ever going to tell me?â Buck questioned.Â
âThere wasnât anything to tell, Buck,â Eddie said stubbornly. Buck would have smacked him if he wasnât so worried.Â
âNothing to tell, huh?â He held up his hand and counted off his fingers as he listed off, âYou had a presumed heart attack and were sent by ambulance to the hospital. Turns out it was a panic attack and when asked if there were any stressors lately, you lied to the doctor about getting shotââ
âI didnât lie, Iââ
Eddie stopped himself when Buckâs glare narrowed even further.Â
âYour son had to tell the doctor that you were shot,â Buck corrected. Eddie pressed his lips together, unwilling to argue. âYou almost have another panic attack on a scene and tell approximately no one only have a full-blown meltdown on a helicopter thatâs hanging on by a thread in the middle of a rescue. Am I missing anything?â Buck asked, though it was clear he wasnât looking for an answer.Â
âIâm fineââ Eddie began.Â
Buck waltzed up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him as hard as he could while still being aware of the bullet hole-shaped scar left behind from those few months ago. The scar that might have physically stayed on Eddie, but lingered in the back of Buckâs mind every single day.Â
âYouâre not fine, Eddie! You almost died and youâre sitting here like life goes on and nothing has changed.âÂ
âNothing has. It was a panic attack, not another near-death experience.âÂ
âYou say another like itâs a normal occurrence in peopleâs lives,â Buck exclaimed. âItâs not! Itâs not normal for people to get shot and surviveânot once, but twice. Itâs not normal for people to just move on with their lives like they werenât nearly ended. Itâs not normal to carry on like nothing is wrong when something is fucking wrong, Eddie!âÂ
âBuck, you should take a step backââÂ
Buck pushed himself away before Eddieâs hands could press against his shoulders, that thumbprint on his pulse that reminded both of them that they were still there. He leaned against the wall behind him, unable to hold himself up without assistance anymore, and sighed.
âYou didnât tell me,â Buck said, a whisper of admission into the air between them like a secret Buck wasnât ready to tell.Â
âI couldnât,â Eddie muttered.Â
âYou couldnât?â Buck scoffed. âYou didnât trust me? You didnât want me to exhaust you with my worry? Give me one good reason why you couldnât tell me!âÂ
âBecause then itâs real, Buck, okay?!â Eddie yelled. He ran his hands through his hair before he pounded a fist against the wall beside him. It would hurt in the morning, that much was obvious by the sound that echoed through the empty room.Â
âWhat?â Buck asked quietly. Eddie breathed deeply like he hadnât taken in air in months. Buck wasnât convinced he had.Â
âIf you donât know, then I can forget itâs happening. Iâm not reminded of that moment where the pain was so great that I couldnât hold myself up and only trusted myself to reach out to you to pick me back up. Iâm not haunted by the fact that I almost made my son an orphan for the third time in his life. If you donât know, then I can pretend it never happened and move forward.â
âFrom what, Eddie? You canât just move forward. You know that,â Buck prodded.Â
âYeah, well, I sure as hell can try .âÂ
They both paused, taking the moment of silence to breathe, to think, to figure out what was next.Â
Eddie made the first move, walking over to where Buck had leaned back against the wall and matched his position. He pressed their shoulders together, his eyes glued to the way Buckâs chest moved up and down slowly, imitating the movement as if he wasnât sure he would be able to do it himself.Â
Buck yearned to reach out and hold him, but instead, he asked the questions that lingered on his mind.Â
âWhen are going to let usâany of usâin? When are you going to let me help you ? When are you going to admit that youâre not okay?âÂ
Eddie didnâtâcouldnâtâanswer, but the shake in his shoulders was unmistakable.
As he slid down the wall, Buck followed his every move, wrapping an arm around his waist to ease the fall. When they landed, Eddie pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and let out a gutwrenching sob that had tears bubbling behind Buckâs eyelids. He held them back as best he could because, at that moment, nothing else could matter but Eddie.Â
Cries of pain, anguish, fear, every horrible emotion that had been welling up inside of both of them burst from Eddieâs mouth and he fell into Buck for the support he extended. He clawed at the collar of Buckâs shirt, his nails raking against the skin of Buckâs chest, but nothing was as painful as the way Eddie gasped at the breaths that didnât seem to come as quickly as he needed them to.Â
Buck held Eddieâs hand to his heart so he could feel the simple rise and fall of his chest and mimic it again. His other hand grasped at the shirt of Eddieâs back to keep his panic away, his own way of anchoring himself there so he could continue to be the solid weight Eddie needed to push through.Â
Every part of them was entangled and Eddie had no choice but to press his face into Buckâs neck. Buck hoped his heartbeat stayed solid enough to remind Eddie they were both still alive, even if it felt like they werenât.Â
âIâve got you, Eds, Iâm here. I wonât let you go, never.âÂ
It was too much to say, too easy for Eddie to read into the double entendre of his words and Buck selfishly hoped he was too lost in his own mind to realize it.Â
But the words or the touch or the steady calmness Buck forced himself into seemed to ease Eddie out of the attack of emotions that surged through him. Little by little, Eddieâs sobs turned to hiccups, his tears turned to trickles, and the white-knuckled grip he had on Buck loosened but didnât fall. He breathed in time with Buck, his heartbeat slowing to its correct rhythm, and the tremors in his body settled to occasional chills.Â
âBuck?â Eddie asked, as if he barely realized what was happening inside of him.Â
âIâm here,â Buck reassured.Â
Eddie shook his head and when he finally glanced up, all Buck could see was the redness around his eyes and the tear stains that looked too permanent on his skin.Â
âIâm not okay,â Eddie admittedâ finally âbefore pressing his face back into Buckâs neck with a whimper like the words were painful to acknowledge out loud.
âYeah, Eddie, I know.âÂ
Buck couldnât resist kissing the top of his head and letting his lips linger for just a second too long.Â
âI need your help,â Eddie said, his voice graveled with emotion.
âYouâve got it,â he promised again.
âYeah, Buck, I know,â Eddie teased because of course, even in his darkest moment, he had to get the last word in and it had to be something full of that sarcastic barrier he protected himself with.Â
Buck let him, though, because he figured Eddie knew what his response would be anyway.Â
#911 on fox#buddie#911#911 spoilers#5x1 coda#evan buckley#eddie diaz#my writing#im so happy this season has started#coda fics are gonna own me for the next few months alksdjfl;asd#911fic
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
4x13 Coda
(read it on AO3)
Buck hears the shot in a distant sort of way. It doesn't register until Eddie jerks forward from the impact, his blood spraying. And even when it does, Buck's frozen. He's helpless to do anything but watch the confusion in Eddie's eyes shift slowly to horror. Their gazes meet and Buck is breathless. A moment later Eddie crumples to the ground and Buck wants to scream but he can't. He can't move, can't think, can't anything. And then he's being thrown to the ground, too.
He finds Eddie's eyes again and can't look away. Eddie reaches for him and his heart shatters. There's a weight on Buck's back, but it's shock that's pinning him down. He's screaming at himself to do something! But it's like he's encased in amber, stuck in the moment that he realized what had happened. Eddie's eyes slip closed and the moment shatters.
"Eddie! Eddie!" Buck screams.
He tears himself away from Captain Mehta's hold and crawls beneath the firetruck towards him. He aches to run straight to Eddie's side, but the gunshots are still coming and he'll be no good to Eddie dead. He waits until he hears another shot ping off the truck, then dashes out and pulls Eddie back as fast as he can. Another bullet tears into the pavement beside them, but miraculously they both make it under the truck without additional injury.
Eddie's breathing, but his pulse is fluttery and weak. Buck wastes no time tearing his shirt open so he can get to the wound.
"You're gonna be okay, Eddie, I promise," Buck mutters. "You've just got to stay with me, okay?"
There's so much blood. It coats his hands and Eddie's chest. Buck worries it's more than Eddie can afford to lose. He puts pressure on the entry and exit wounds, but there's not much else he can do without any equipment.
Eddie's eyes flutter open.
"Hey, hey, there you are," Buck says franticly. "Stay with me, Eds."
"-uck?" Eddie slurs.
"I'm here, Eddie, I'm here, I've got you. I just need you to stay awake for me, okay?"
"Hurts."
"I know, I'm sorry," Buck says. "But you have to stay awake, do you understand?"
"'M trying," Eddie says, but Buck can already tell it's a losing battle.
"Can someone get me a med kit?" he yells.
"We're pinned down!" someone shouts back. "PD is two minutes out!"
"That's not good enough!" Buck roars.
"Buck," Eddie says, eyes suddenly clearer.
"Eddie, you're gonna be okay," Buck repeats.
"Tell⊠Chris â "
"Tell him yourself!" Buck says. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes.
"I love him," Eddie forces out.
"He knows," Buck says softly. "But you're going to tell him again, anyway."
"You⊠you'll take care of him?" Eddie asks.
The blood is flowing, too much for his stained hands to stop. Too much, too fast. "Until you get better, Eds, yeah, I will." Tears are streaming down Buck's face now, but he doesn't care.
"Good," Eddie says breathlessly. "That'sâŠ" his eyes slip shut again.
"No! Eddie, no! Come on, stay awake, stay with me. I can't, I â " Buck stares at his hands. It isn't enough. He isn't enough. Eddie's going to die here, and it'll be his fault. He drops his face against Eddie's blood slick chest and lets out a sob.
Suddenly there are hands on both of them, pulling them from beneath the truck. Two paramedics that Buck doesn't recognize are rolling Eddie onto a backboard, and Buck finds himself frozen again.
"If you're coming with us, hurry up!" One of the paramedics yells. He runs after her, catching Eddie's hand as he falls in step with the gurney.
They pile into the ambulance and it takes off at a breakneck pace. One of the paramedics wipes the blood from Eddie's chest to attach electrodes while the other packs the wounds with gauze and prepares to run a line. Buck's helpless to do anything but watch. It feels like the first moments after the bullet tore through Eddie's shoulder all over again.
Buck's sense of time must warp, because they're at the hospital in what feels like seconds instead of minutes. There's a flurry of activity, then Eddie's gone.
Covered in Eddie's blood and slumped in a waiting room chair is how Bobby finds him. Buck's not sure how much time has passed, but the blood on his hands is drying even as his eyes don't.
"Bobby," Buck whispers. He's sure his expression is stricken.
Bobby pulls him to his chest, mindless of the blood. "Captain Mehta called me," he says. "He told me what happened.
"Eddie," Buck says, thankful for the excuse not to look Bobby in the eye. "He- he-" Buck can't get the words out.
"It's okay, Buck, I know," Bobby says.
"It's not okay! Bobby, there was so much blood. T-too much." The tears are falling in earnest now and there's nothing Buck can use to wipe them away because his hands are covered in Eddie's blood and so is his shirt. "I couldn't stop it, Bobby," he whispers brokenly.
"You did everything you could," Bobby says. "Everything. When Eddie pulls through, it'll be because of you."
"If," Buck says dully.
"You can't think like that."
"I can't lose him, Bobby," the desperate words are torn from his chest.
"I know," Bobby says, and Buck thinks that maybe he really does.
Bobby holds him silently for another few minutes as he cries before finally pulling back a little. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? I brought a spare shirt from the station."
Buck follows him wordlessly to the bathroom. He looks in the mirror and blanches. He's covered in Eddie's blood, even more than he'd thought. It's sprayed across his face, and there's even more caking his forehead. His shirt is soaked too, and not an inch of the skin on his hands is visible. He feels like he's going to be sick.
Scratch that, he is going to be sick. Buck darts to one of the toilets and empties the contents of his stomach into the bowl. He dry heaves twice more before his body seems willing to let him stand. He returns to the sink and carefully avoids meeting his own gaze in the mirror.
The water runs red.
"Christopher," Buck says suddenly, once he and Bobby have returned to the waiting room. There's still blood under his nails and spatters of it on his pants, but the worst of it was washed down the drain. "I have to call Carla."
"Do you want me to?" Bobby asks.
Buck shakes his head. "It has to be me," he says. He pulls out his phone and shakily dials the familiar number to Eddie's house.
"Carla," he says as soon as the ringing stops, not waiting for her to say anything.
"Buck, what's wrong?"
He scrubs a hand across his face. "It's bad, Carla," he says shakily. "Don't turn on the news, okay? Chris doesn't need to see this. He â I have to be the one to tell him, okay?"
"Buck, what happened?" Carla asks, more insistent this time.
"It's⊠Eddie was shot," he says finally.
"Oh, god, is heâŠ" Carla trails off. Yeah, Buck wouldn't want to say it out loud either.
"We're at the hospital," he says. "Eddie's in surgery. I donât⊠it'll probably be awhile before we get an update."
"Oh, Buck," she says softly.
"Just don't tell him yet, okay? Let me do it."
"Okay sweetie," she says. "Do you have someone with you?"
"Bobby's here."
"Good," Carla says. She pauses for a moment, as if deciding whether or not she wants to say something else. "Are you okay?" she asks finally.
Buck chuckles humorlessly. "I'll text you if there's an update," he says, then hangs up the phone. He's probably going to regret that later, but he can't think about himself right now or he'll fall to pieces, and he can't afford that.
The rest of the team joins them in the lobby. Hen wordlessly presses a coffee into Buck's hands and Chim claps him on the shoulder. He's numb to it all but he nods his thanks anyway.
The minutes drag, but the hours go by far too quickly with no word about Eddie's condition. It had been morning when⊠ithappened, but it's quickly approaching late afternoon. Buck promised Eddie he'd take care of Chris, and that's exactly what he's going to do, but it will kill him if he has to leave this waiting room without knowing Eddie's fate.
Finally, though, a doctor steps through the waiting room door and calls, "family of Edmundo Diaz?"
Buck's out of his chair like lightning. "I'm his proxy," he says breathlessly. He sees Hen and Chim exchange surprised looks out of the corner of his eye but pays them no mind. "Evan Buckley?" His own name comes out like a question.
"Right, Mr. Buckley," the doctor says. "Mr. Diaz lost a great deal of blood. The bullet broke a fragment off his scapula which nicked his axillary artery. The surgery was touch and go, but ultimately a success. With significant rest, fluids, and a round of antibiotics, and barring any complications, we expect Mr. Diaz to make a full recovery."
Buck sags in relief, feeling like his strings have been cut. "Thank you," he says, infusing the words with as much gratitude as he possibly can.
"You're welcome, Mr. Buckley. We'll be transferring him to a recovery room within the hour, and you can see him then, although it will probably be at least a few hours before he wakes up. A nurse will come and get you."
Buck wants to say something else, thank the doctor again, maybe, but all he can do is nod. The doctor claps him on the shoulder, then leaves. Buck returns to his team, all of whom have stood in anticipation.
"He's going to be okay," Buck says. His eyes begin to water all over again, but it doesn't matter as his family wraps him in their arms. "He's okay," he whispers again, this time just to himself.
Buck texts Carla the news, then calls Pepa and Abuela to tell them. He feels a little guilty for not having called them earlier, but at least now they won't have to worry unnecessarily. They both promise to get there as soon as possible, despite Buck's protestations about the dangers of the hospital.
Pepa arrives just as the nurse tells Buck he can see Eddie. He looks between the two of them, torn.
"Go," Pepa says, making the decision for him. "He needs you. I'll have your friends update me."
Buck darts in for a quick hug. "Thank you," he says.
Seeing Eddie unconscious in a hospital bed feels so wrong, but it's so much better than it could have been. Buck let's out a sob of relief and collapses into the chair next to the bed. With little hesitation, he clasps Eddie's hand in his own.
"I can't even get mad at you for this one," Buck says, letting out a watery chuckle. "You always manage to end up in the hospital going the extra mile for a kid, though, don't you? Too damn heroic for your own good."
Buck brings Eddie's hand to his forehead and closes his eyes.
"Thank you," he says softly. "I know you fought to stay with me. Us."
He doesn't say much after that, just holds Eddie's hand until the sun begins to sink in the sky outside the window. Finally, he stands. Buck loathes to release Eddie's hand, but he made a promise.
"I'll be back as soon as I can," he says, another promise he plans on making good on.
When he gets to Eddie's house, Carla immediately wraps him in a hug. Buck wants to collapse in it, to fall to pieces, but he can't. Instead, he whispers a soft assurance to her, then goes to find Christopher.
"Buck!" Christopher exclaims brightly, and Buck's heart breaks all over again.
"Hey, Superman," he says roughly, kneeling to give him a hug.
"What are you doing here?" he asks. "Are we having a movie night?"
"We can watch a movie if you want. But first I've got to tell you something."
Christopher must hear something in his voice, because he frowns and asks, "What's wrong?"
"Your dadâŠ" Buck wants to throw up again. "⊠is not coming home tonight."
"What happened?"
Buck can't lie to him, but he can't tell him the whole truth either. "Your dad got hurt on a call. It was pretty bad, but the doctors at the hospital fixed it. He's going to be alright, but I'm going to take care of you until he feels better, okay?"
Christopher sniffs. "When Mommy went to the hospitalâŠ" he says quietly.
Buck pulls him in for another hug, running his hand through Christopher's hair. "It's not going to be like that, buddy, I promise. Your dad's going to come home."
Carla stays long enough to make sure Buck eats something and takes a shower, then leaves with a promise to come back in the morning so that Buck can return to the hospital. He wishes he could bring Christopher with him, but it's just not safe.
Putting Christopher to bed is a familiar routine, but doing it with the knowledge that Eddie's not in the next room over or on his way home from a date feels wrong. Chris is subdued, and Buck knows he is too. Still, though, he reads him a story and makes sure he has his favorite stuffed animal before tucking him in and kissing his forehead.
"I love you, Buck," Christopher says.
"I love you, too, kid."
He turns off the light but leaves the door cracked so the hall light can spill in. He knows he should sleep on the couch, but hell, he's already stolen a pair of Eddie's sweats and an old army t-shirt to sleep in. What's a bed in comparison?
Buck slides beneath the covers and top sheet and buries his head in Eddie's pillow, breathing in deeply. The smell is familiar and comforting and altogether not enough, and for the first time since this morning, Buck allows himself to break. He sobs into the pillow until finally, sleep claims him.
Buck wakes to a knock at the door. He assumes it's Carla, so he slides out of bed and goes to answer it, making a quick pit stop to check on a still sleeping Christopher first. He opens the door and â
It's not Carla.
The woman at the door is beautiful and carrying what looks to be a bag of pastries and two coffees. Her face, currently wearing a surprised expression, is vaguely familiar, but it takes Buck a minute to place.
"Shit," he says, eyes widening when he finally figures out who she is. "You're Ana."
"I am," she says. "And you are?"
"God, I'm sorry, come in," he steps back to allow her through the door. "I'm Buck."
At that, she smiles. "I've heard so much about you!" she says.
"Ana, I'm sorry, I should have made sure someone called you. I didn't think."
She reads him as easily as everyone else seems to. "What's happened? Where's Eddie?" she asks.
Buck tells her. She's the picture of a perfectly worried girlfriend, collected but concerned, fingers resting across her lips.
"Do you want me to stay with Christopher?" she asks when he's done.
Buck shakes his head. "I promised I'd be here. Go see him," he says. "I'm sure he'll want you there."
She nods, then hands him one of the coffees along with the pastry bag. "Take these then," she says. "I'm sure you could use them more than me."
Buck thanks her, and then she's gone. He sags against the wall.
A few hours later, after Christopher's up and has eaten breakfast and Carla's arrived, Buck heads back to the hospital. He was torn between staying and going, but then he'd gotten a text from Bobby telling him Eddie was awake and Carla and Chris insisted he go.
His palms are sweaty when he arrives, and he wipes them on his borrowed jeans, stolen from Eddie's closet. He's nervous, although he doesn't know why. He finds Bobby and Abuela in the waiting room.
"How is he?" Buck asks immediately.
"Okay, thanks to you I hear," Abuela replies.
"I didn't do anything," Buck says looking at the ground.
"Don't go saying that to him," Abuela says. "He'll pull his stitches trying to smack some sense into you."
Bobby places a hand on his shoulder. "You saved him, Buck."
Buck aims a watery smile at them both. "Is Ana with him?" he asks.
"She left a few minutes ago," Bobby answers. "Go see him."
"Don't one of you want â "
Abuela pats him on the arm. "Go, nieto, he needs you."
"Thank you," Buck says earnestly.
Eddie seems to be sleeping when Buck gets to his room, so he knocks gently on the door frame. His eyes flutter open and Buck has to stop himself from audibly gasping. It's the first time he's seen them since they were under that firetruck.
"Eddie," he whispers.
"You just gonna stand in the doorway?" Eddie teases gently.
Buck could cry. He takes three large strides across the room, then wraps Eddie in the gentlest hug he can manage. Eddie stiffens for a moment then relaxes, carding his free hand through Buck's hair. "I'm okay," he promises.
"I know," Buck says, speaking past the lump in his throat. "I just had to see for myself." He releases Eddie and sinks into the same chair from before. Immediately, he feels cold.
Eddie stares at him for a few seconds, brow furrowed. "Is that my shirt?" he asks finally.
Buck snorts. "Well, mine didn't quite make it through yesterday, and I spent the night at your place, so yeah, I helped myself."
"Looks good on you," Eddie says. Buck raises an eyebrow. He must still be on the good drugs.
"How are you feeling?" Buck asks.
"A little surprised, to be honest," Eddie says. "Probably still in shock, too. How's Christopher doing?"
"He's okay," Buck replies. "He wanted to come to the hospital, but I convinced him to stay with Carla instead. We owe him a phone call, though."
"Thank you for taking care of him," Eddie says.
"You know I'd do anything for that kid."
"I do." There's a strange look in his eyes, one that Buck can't quite place. "I broke up with Ana," he says after a few beats of silence.
"What? Why?" Buck asks.
"Something Carla said a few days ago. It kind of clicked when I was bleeding out on the pavement."
Buck sucks in a sharp breath. "Eddie â "
"Sorry, sorry, I know I shouldn't joke. I don't really remember most of it. Just hitting the ground and seeing you." He gets a far away look on his face and Buck takes his hand to ground him.
"It's okay, Eds, you don't have to talk about it."
"I do have to thank you, though."
"You really don't," Buck says.
"You saved me."
"I nearly lost you."
Eddie squeezes his hand. "I kinda feel like we've had this conversation before."
Buck chuckles wetly. "I guess we kinda have."
"Then you know how it ends." Eddie fixes him with a meaningful look, pinning him with his gaze. Buck couldn't look away if he wanted to.
"Yeah, I do," Buck whispers.
"Good," Eddie says.
This isn't over, Buck knows. There will be doctors appointments and physical therapy and probably a whole mess of PTSD to deal with, not to mention a shooter who's still at large. But sitting here, holding Eddie's hand, the unspoken promise of a future hanging heavy between them, Buck thinks that for once, everything might just turn out okay.
#911#911 spoilers#Buddie#4x13 coda#911 on fox#fic#abbie writes#i have 0 self control I was supposed to go to bed like 3 hours ago#please reward my inability to prioritize sleep with notes
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
coda/missing scene to 4x05 because i, once again, had too many feelings. read on ao3
Eddie Diaz is good at compartmentalizing. Heâs great at it, at putting his emotions in a box and locking it to focus on the task at hand. Needs to be good at it to be able to do his job, be it in the army or now, as a firefighter. He doesnât get to panic when one of his coworkers is in danger.
He still nearly loses it when he and Bobby hear that Buckâs still in the factory.
Itâs not a surprise, not really - of course Buck disobeyed a direct order to make sure every last person gets out alive, and of course he doesnât think about himself. Itâs one of the things Eddie loves him for. But the sheer terror of hearing Buck explain over the radio that thereâs no way out almost overrides his training. Almost.
For a second, heâs ready to run right back in, on his own if he has to, to find Buck and get him out, somehow, he has to-
Then Buck is on the radio, alive, still okay, and the incident commander tells him that a rescue team is coming in to find them, and Eddie forces himself to stay calm and focused, to be of help where he can be the most useful. And then the factory blows behind them.
Chimney, Hen, Cap, him, they all spin around in shock and Eddie can just stare at the balls of fire and the smoke billowing, feeling paralyzed. The rational part of his brain is already clocking that it wasnât the whole factory, probably just one of the tanks full of flammable gas, and probably not anywhere near where Buck is, even though he didnât seem sure about where that was over the radio. His heart, hammering against his ribs, takes a little longer to catch up and Eddie has to press his shaking hands against his thighs for a second.
Heâs got himself under control by the time theyâre being sent in.
Outside of the factory, he canât bring himself to look at Buck for too long. Heâs over by an ambulance with Bobby, having been checked over quickly, and the look on his face is something Eddie doesnât quite know how to deal with. But heâs got Bobby there, and Hen, so Eddie has to trust heâll be fine.
He and Chim checked the victim over, giving him oxygen and getting him ready to be transported to the hospital. Heâll probably be fine in a few weeks, the smoke inhalation shouldnât have caused lasting damage, and his leg is clearly broken but not crushed. Buck saved his life.
âTell your friend,â Saleh says on a cough, gripping Eddieâs arm after theyâve moved him onto the ambulance, âthank you. Thank you.â
âIâll tell him,â Eddie promises, fixing the oxygen mask over his face again. âBreathe.â
They ride in the back of the ambulance mostly in silence, checking Salehâs vitals and focusing all of their energy on him.
Itâs only on the way back to the station that Chimney says, âSo that was a bit too close for comfort, huh?â
Eddie lets out a humourless laugh. âYou could say that.â
âYou think he shouldâve been working today?â
âI think,â Eddie says slowly, âthat he needed to not be alone with his thoughts today. And I donât think he couldâve done his job any better today.â
âYeah, no, he did everything right,â Chimney says hurriedly, âthatâs not what I meant. I just...worry about him.â
Eddie looks at his drawn eyebrows and hunched shoulders and thinks about the way Chimney has been acting around Buck for the past few days, like heâs walking on eggshells, careful but ready to jump to his defence at any time, and knows heâs being honest. âYeah, me too.â
The way Buck called himself spare parts, defective parts this morning is still echoing in his head. He didnât know what to say or do to make Buck feel better, still doesnât. Whenever heâs tried to talk about any of it for the past few days, Buck has been quick about brushing him off, with humor or sometimes anger, though that was always directed at his parents and never at Eddie.
He gets it, is the thing, knows all too well what itâs like to keep things to himself, to not want to talk to anyone about them. He just didnât know what itâs like on the other side of things. All he wants is for Buck to know that none of this is on him, that his parents are the one who fucked up and didnât do their job. A job that should be the easiest in the world. Eddie knows how easy it is to love your child unconditionally. He also knows how easy it is to love Buck.
One day soon, heâs gonna find a way to prove to Buck how loved he is. If that means coming clean to him about his feelings, then so be it - heâs been thinking about it for so long now that heâs pretty sure Buck wouldnât ever leave him and Chris, even if he canât reciprocate Eddieâs feelings. Buck deserves to hear that someone loves him for him.
Back at the station, Eddie showers and changes into a clean uniform, and when heâs walking up the stairs, Buckâs parents are there. He knows itâs them immediately and catches Henâs eyes across the room, her eyebrows raised.
âIs Buck back yet?â he asks her, voice low as he sits down on the couch next to her.
She shakes her head. âBobby went to the hospital with him, just to make sure heâs really fine. I donât think he knows theyâre here.â
Eddie looks over at them, and has to press his hands to his thighs again at the sudden rush of hatred that he feels for these people. He doesnât want to imagine what it must feel like to lose a child, but it gives them no excuse to treat their living, breathing children the way they did. The way Buck has been acting these past few days is their fault, itâs their fault heâs been feeling like he wasnât enough his whole life, and Eddie hates them for it.
âHas anyone talked to them?â
âChim did, when they came in,â Hen says, âand I kind of wanna give them a piece of my mind. You look like you do, too.â
Eddie gives her a wry smile. âThat obvious?â
Hen scrunches her nose and gives him a kind smile. âYeah. I canât imagine ever treating my children like that. And I think they should know what theyâre missing out on with Buck.â
Eddie couldnât agree more, and before he knows it, heâs pushing himself up from the couch and walking over to them.
They both look up with matching expressions of polite confusion, and Eddie grits his teeth and sits down without asking.
âMr and Mrs Buckley?â he asks. âIâm Eddie Diaz, I work with your son.â
âDo you know where he is?â Mrs Buckley asks. âHoward said he didnât know.â
Depending on when Chimney talked to them, thatâs probably even true, but Eddie wouldnât hold it against him if he was just trying to get away from his parents-in-law as quickly as possible. âHeâs at the hospital.â
âOh, what did he do now?â Mr Buckleyâs voice sounds long-suffering, as if his son being in the hospital is a nuisance more than anything else.
âHis job,â Eddie bites out. âHe did his job and saved someoneâs life tonight. Do you even know the kind of man your son is? He goes above and beyond for everyone. He risks his life to save others - did you know he saved dozens of people during the tsunami, including my son, while he wasnât even a firefighter? Of course you didnât. He shows up for his friends time and time again and he puts everyone else before himself. Heâs a good man, a great man, something he certainly didnât learn from you-â
Thereâs a hand on his shoulder and he cuts off, the sudden silence making him aware of how loud his voice has gotten, and he looks up at Hen, almost expecting her to tell him to shut up, but sheâs looking at Buckâs parents with narrowed eyes.
âWith all due respect,â she says, and Eddie has never heard her voice like this, this hard and cold, âbut Buck deserves better than what he got from you. Heâs not just a valued member of this station, heâs family. Iâm happy to tell you some stories about him, if youâre interested in hearing them, because I agree with Eddie that you should at least know what kind of person he has become in spite of you.â
Mr and Mrs Buckley look almost chastised, speechless, and Hen drops into the chair next to Eddie. His hands are shaking again and Eddie doesnât think he can sit here with them any longer, certainly doesnât have any nice things to say to them, so he decides to let Hen handle it from here on. Sheâs clearly got it under control.
Wordlessly, he stands up and goes downstairs to wait for Buck instead.
When Bobby parks the car, Eddie spreads his arms expectantly, relief flooding his veins when he announces that Buck got a clean bill of health from the doctor.
âGlad to hear it,â he says, but canât help giving Buck a once-over just to make sure for himself. Heâs also showered and wearing a clean uniform, looking miles better than earlier, but thereâs still that sadness around his eyes and mouth that Eddie hates.
âShow off,â he teases him as Bobby rushes off, and Buck smiles at him.
âI had to do it.â
All Eddie wants is to go up to him and pull him into his arms to keep him safe from the world, but this is neither the time or the place. Instead, he just puts as much of that feeling as he can in his smile and tells Buck, âI know you did.â Then, a little reluctantly, he nods his head towards the stairs. âYouâve got some visitors.â
Buck leaves with one last look, a frown on his face, and Eddie watches him go. No matter how this conversation is going to go, Buck has a lot of shit to work through.
First and foremost, he needs to talk to Maddie because Eddie knows how much they love each other and how miserable this situation is making them both. And then heâll need to start believing that they love him - Maddie, the whole crew, Christopher. Eddie. That heâs worth that love. And Eddie will do everything in his power to make him believe that.
#buddie#911#911 spoilers#buddie fic#911 fanfiction#pia writes#man i am NERVOUS any time i post something new#and this is the first time i've written from eddie's pov I hope it doesn't suck#anyway the whole firefam loves buck so much
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
Buddies, 7.3k words, T, (pre-Eddie/Buck, gay!Eddie, coming out)
(ao3)
After Eddie was shot, there were two big things he had to deal with - recovery, and the near-death realization that he was gay. The latter of which proved more difficult of the two. But as his recovery was aided by a physical therapist, Eddie also found someone to help him come to terms with his sexuality and find acceptance. Eddie wouldn't know where he'd be if Michael hadn't taken him under his wing.
However, the consequences of a failed date - encouraged by Michael - lead to something Eddie didn't think he'd be facing so soon. Coming out to his teammates. Will Eddie find the strength within himself to push through his fears? It shouldn't be too hard... right?
      Itâs too stifling for a fall morning in Los Angeles, Eddie thought, as he hopped out of the fire engine and sweat immediately dampened the collar of his jacket. He tugged on the fabric, huffing a tired breath through clenched teeth as he trotted after his teammates. Eddie soon fell into step beside Buck as Bobby began directing them where they were needed along the highway pileup. âHen, Chim, attend to the drivers who are already outside their vehicles,â Bobby ordered, waving at the few bystanders leaning against cars and cradling different parts of their body, like arms and heads and one visibly bloody side with blood leaking through pale fingertips. Hen and Chimney immediately hurried there before the woman fainted from blood loss. Then, Bobby points at the two smoking cars fused together feet away. âBuck, Eddie, I want you to check on the drivers in each car and assess the damage. If you can get the occupants out safely, you have permission to do so.â
      They nodded, Buckâs face stretching with a grin as he locked eyes with Eddie. âWe got this, donât we Eds?â
      Eddieâs heart skipped at the nickname, and he blamed it on the weather. He blamed the warmth pooling in his cheeks, no doubt tinting his cheeks, on that, too. âCourse we do.â He followed Buck towards the wreckage, asking, âWhich one are you checking?â
      âIâll handle the Corvette,â Buck said, âalways wanted to have my hands on one, anyway.â
      âGuess that leaves me with the mini-vanâŠâ
      Buck shrugged, splitting off wordlessly to inspect the red sports car that, in this moment, resembled an empty beer can littering the floor of a house party. You get what you pay for, in the end. Eddie stifled his giggle, sobering to a more serious expression as he rounds the other, less-damaged, car. He found a young girl behind the wheel, staring straight ahead while white knuckling the steering wheel. An older woman sat in the passenger seat, knocked unconscious by the collision. He wasnât worried too much, however, aware of the deflated air bags blanketing their laps. Eddie knocked on the door, âLAFD! Are you able to lower the window?â
      He startled the driver from her trance, shaky hands finally releasing the wheel and whipping to her face. She sobbed through her hands, a muffled sound that tugged on Eddieâs heartstrings.
      Eddie knocked again, softer, until she looked at him. He tapped the window slowly, âCan you lower this?â
      She choked on a breath, chest heaving underneath her safety strap as she did what Eddie asked.
      âHey,â he began, reaching inside to click the safety off, âmy name is Eddie Diaz. Whatâs yours?â
      âOl-OliviaâŠâ she stuttered, wiping at tears that continued to fall no matter how hard she scrubbed her eyes, âIâm⊠oh God, Iâm so sorry.â
      Eddie unbuckled her seatbelt, checking for any cuts or abrasions because of it. The skin around her neck seemed red and tender from impact, a possible burn, but that was the extent of the damage there. âItâs okay,â he assured her, cradling Oliviaâs head in his hands to better assess her injuries. There were scrapes and bruises there, dried blood crusting around her nose. Nothing that screamed âemergencyâ. âWhy donât you tell me what happened?â
      She sucked in a deep breath, then launched into her story. Eddie listened, running through a mental checklist while she rambled. âIâd gotten my learnerâs permit a few months ago,â Olivia explained, âand Iâm supposed to go for my driving test in a few months, for my birthday. In the meantime, Iâve been practicing all I can and I⊠and I thought I was ready for the highway. I mean, itâs not parallel parking, so I thought it couldnât be that hard. But my mom thought I wasnât ready and I⊠I didnât listen and â oh, oh no! My mom -!â
      âIs okay,â he told Olivia, keeping her eyes on him and preventing any further sudden movement. âI promise.â Eddie surreptitiously scanned Oliviaâs mother between beats of her story, noting the subtle rise and fall of her chest. âIs that how you got into the accident? Fighting with your mom?â
      âWell, partly,â Olivia explained, âIâŠâ She hesitated, biting her lip and causing a few more blood droplets to leak past the cut there. Eddie waited, running his hands below the dashboard to check for any strain or damage from the crash that might make extraction difficult. There wasnât any he felt. âItâs so embarrassing,â she muttered.
      âItâs okay,â Eddie said, smiling, âYou wouldnât believe the kind of calls me and my team have rushed to. Iâm sure whatever happened canât be as embarrassing as a woman stuck in a window because she tried throwing her poop out when the toilet wouldnât flush.â
      That encouraged a tiny laugh from Olivia, and soon her earlier nerves from the crash disappeared. âI guessâŠâ she sighed, dabbing at drying tear stains with her hoodie sleeve, âI was doing an okay job driving. Better than either I or my mom figured. But then this huge truck barreled by in such a rush that it shook the car and I freaked. I started screaming, and so did my mom, and I didnât notice that we started drifting and⊠ugh, I felt like Cher, yâknow? From that movie Clueless?â
      Eddie blinked at her. âYou know what Clueless is?â
      âItâs a good movie,â she defended, âPlus thatâs like⊠peak Paul Rudd. Although current Paul Rudd is also peak Paul Rudd⊠heâs really cute for an old guy.â
      He mostly agreed with her, only offended by her closing remark. Paul Rudd isnât old.
      Paulâs ageless.
      Eddie stood at his full height, backing away to give Olivia space. âYou think you can step out of this vehicle on your own?â She shifted, slowly freeing one leg and then the other. Olivia tried exiting, except stumbled after the second foot left the car. Eddie caught her, easing her to the ground. From the corner of his eye, he saw Hen and Chimney approach. âYouâre very lucky Olivia,â he said, âyou had a great car that shielded you and your mom from some pretty serious damage. My friends are gonna help you two out now. You donât have to tell them everything, but be sure to answer all their questions and if thereâs any pain, okay?â
      âOkay.â
      âGood.â Eddie rose to greet Hen and Chimney, quickly combing through all he learned during his short time with Olivia, stressing the most important pieces of information. âI still have to get her mother out of the passenger side,â he said, jerking his thumb at the car, âonce I do that I can carry her to the ambulance so you can do your thing ââ
      âSorry Eddie,â Bobby interrupted, clapping him on the shoulder, âIâm gonna need your help with the other driver.â
      âThat bad?â
      âItâs an older car, made with metal instead of plastic,â he said, âguyâs wedged in there pretty tight, cut up, too. And thereâs a glass shard running right into his shoulder blade.â Bobby turned to Hen and Chimney, âOnce youâre done here weâll need you on standby to help us. No telling how much blood heâs lost so far, or if thereâs any trauma below his waist.â
      âNo problem Cap,â Chimney said, âWeâre almost done here. Hen, why donât you go with Eddie and Bobby while I see to Oliviaâs mom?â
      âSounds like a plan to me.â
      âGreat,â Bobby led them to the other side of the wreckage, Buck absent from the scene. âHeâs getting the jaws,â he told Eddie and Hen. Then, once theyâve reached the Corvetteâs driverâs side, Bobby yelled into the open, broken, window, âSir? Sir, can you hear me? Are you still with us?â
      The man groaned a few indecipherable syllables Eddie couldnât hope to piece together. He exchanged a short glance with Hen, who appeared similarly unsure. Bobby, meanwhile, continued his one-sided conversation as they waited for Buck to arrive with the jaws.
      âComing in hot!â he yelled, lugging the jaws over his shoulders, âWhere you want me, Cap?â
      âLetâs start with the door,â he motioned Buck closer, pointing at the hinge. âEddie, grab the middle. Iâll get this side. When Buck snips this free, weâll gently lower it down and let Hen get in there.â
      âCopy that.â Eddie readied himself, crouching into position. He laid his hands atop the car door, small glass shards crunching under his gloves as his fingers curled. Buck and Bobby talked over his head, working to line up the jaws correctly. During this, Eddie chanced a peek inside at the driver.
      The face he saw, staring back at him, nearly knocked him off his feet.
      Fitting, as that was how it felt when Michael showed him his picture while convincing Eddie to go on a blind date.
      âHe works with David at the hospital,â Michael told him, passing his phone over so Eddie would see what Davidâs co-worker, Dr. Brendan Carmichael, looked like. In the picture Michael found, a selfie from Instagram, Eddie learned more than he needed. That beside the bright, orange hair and freckles splattered across his face like someone flicked a paintbrush over his skin, he also maintained a very strict gym regimen which kept his abs in perfect condition. Eddieâs thumb hovered over the midsection Brendan revealed, careful not to like it on Michaelâs account. âHe broke up with his last boyfriend a few months ago, and only recently started talking about dating again,â he continued, Eddie tearing his gaze away from the phone to better listen, âDavid mentioned you, how you were wanting to date again, too, and Brendanâs interested in setting something up. Only question is⊠are you?â
      It was something Eddie was working himself up to. After breaking things off with Ana during his recovery, and Buckâs focus divided further because of Taylor, Eddie found periods where he was all alone with only his thoughts as company. Because of this, it was harder and harder for him to ignore certain stuff heâd pushed to the back of his mind and crammed into a tiny closet. Namely, his utter sexual indifference to women.
      Almost dying for the umpteenth time put Eddieâs life into perspective.
      He wouldnât know if the next near-death call might finally succeed where others hadnât, and Eddie realized how awful itâd be to go without following his heart.
      So he followed it all the way to Michaelâs. Eddie knocked on his door late one evening, a fifth of whiskey in his veins dulling the voices shouting how this was stupid, how he and Michael were acquaintances at best and strangers at worst. Then, once Michael invited him inside his empty apartment, Eddie vomited his epiphanies until Michael set his shaking frame down on the couch and forced a glass of water down his throat.
      Since then, Michael had taken on the role as Eddieâs gay sponsor. Michael guided Eddie to a point where he could see his reflection and say âgayâ while smiling. He also pushed at the fear that still clung to Eddie, urging him to experience new things, like with this blind-date.
      âI donât know,â he said, âhe does look⊠really, really nice.â Admitting that never felt like pulling teeth with pliers anymore, thanks to Michael. âIâm just⊠not sure.â
      âWhat arenât you sure about?â
      âI donât know,â he shrugged, âI⊠I guess itâs nerves. Iâve never done this before, you know. Is there anything I should know? That makes it different than a date with a woman?â
      Michael shot him a flat look, snatching his phone back. âA date is a date. Thereâs nothing different about it because itâs with another man. Well⊠except for when the check comes, and you have to bare-knuckle brawl in the kitchen to decide who gets to pay.â Eddie returned the favor, brows leveling at his friend. Michael chuckled, âSeriously, itâs nothing you need to work yourself up about. Go into it like it was any other date. Youâll have fun â and Iâm not laying it on. Brendan is a great guy, from what Iâve heard. Heâs got charm and face, which is rare. You donât find men like us in the wild every day.â
      âMen like us?â Eddie parroted, cheeks straining as he fought against the smile threatening to appear.
      âMe,â Michael clarified, grinning freely, âAnd Chris Hemsworth. Thatâs it though.â
      âAnd this Brendan guy,â Eddie added, âif what youâre saying is true.â
      It wasnât, unfortunately.
      The night started with Brendan arriving late to the restaurant he chose because of its proximity to the hospital, and only further plummeted as it went on. Brendan criticized his choice in dinner, goading him into ordering an even pricier dish that Eddie hadnât even wanted. Which Eddie then paid for, although he almost was stuck with the entire bill as Brendan assumed Eddie would cover it. It almost made Eddie reconsider Michaelâs earlier crack about brawling. And if that wasnât bad enough, Brendanâs personality rubbed Eddie the wrong way. He was dismissive of Eddieâs career, unsubtly scrolled through his phone during parts of the evening, and seemed entirely uninterested in Christopher to the point that Brendan interrupted any story about him with an unconnected anecdote, derailing the entire conversation. As the waiter left with their credit cards, all Eddie wanted was to put this date in the rearview behind him.
      Except Brendanâs phone died during dessert, and he didnât drive himself. âIf you could give me a ride?â Brendan suggested, slipping a hand behind Eddieâs button-down and petting his chest, âIâd be very gratefulâŠâ
      Eddie wished he could say he drove Brendan home without anything happening, that he was a stronger man. But Eddie gave in to curious temptation. He let Brendan guide him to his apartment bed instead of racing back home to fall asleep in an empty house, Christopher staying over at Michaelâs with Harry.
      They jerked each other off in the end; a slight comfort over oral and miles above anal. Once Eddie came, he feigned exhaustion and settled in for a sleepless night. He laid in wait for the morning, where he snuck out of Brendanâs apartment as the rising sun filtered past drawn curtains without a word to his date. Eddie did leave a note, promising he would call soon.
      He hadnât and had no plan to, either.
      Still, here Brendan was.
      âCutting in three, guys,â Buck yelled. He proceeded to count down; on one, Eddie heard the snip from the jaws and belatedly realized he needed to move. Bobby swung a second before Eddie, and the momentum of the door made Eddie stumble in his haste to lift the door.
      âEddie,â Bobby huffed, âYou good?â
      âYeah⊠yeah,â he nodded, dropping the door on the street at the same time Bobby did. âNo need to worry about me.â
      Bobby didnât believe him, but he stopped questioning Eddie in favor of looming over Henâs shoulder as she worked on Brendan. Buck leaned against the roof, head ducked inside the cabin, too. Eddie stood apart from the scene as an outlier. He wasnât sure if it was good to approach. Although, being fully removed meant he wouldnât know what the other man might say in his condition.
      Only three people knew of his sexuality â Michael, David, and Brendan. Eddie wasnât ready for that circle to expand.
      Eddie returned, joining the others. He entered to hear Hen finish her line of questioning, her last question prompting Brendan to speak. âThe wound on my shoulder is superficial,â he said, gaze unwavering on the side of Eddieâs face. He felt the weight of it, Eddie turned to watch his co-workers instead of Brendan. Bobbyâs focus didnât waver from the crushed dashboard in Brendanâs lap, prodding it in different areas. Buck kept glancing between Eddie and Brendan. âItâs deep, but a clean cut. You can get to that later, because Iâm pretty sure thereâs something digging into my leg close to my femoral artery.â
      âWeâll get right to it, then,â Hen assured him, âSounds like you know your stuff, though. You a doctor?â
      Eddie bit his tongue, swallowing his instinctual reply. âYeah,â Brendan said, âIâm a doctor.â
      âThen that saves us some time.â Hen reached into her bag for a neck brace, placing it around Brendanâs neck while Bobby muttered something to Buck. Buckâs eyes flicked to his briefly before he jogged towards the fire truck. âWeâll have you out of here in no time. Can you tell me where you were headed?â
      âTo lunch,â Brendan told her, âWe had to push a surgery back a day, and my next one wasnât until two so I⊠I thought Iâd treat myself to something nice. I already had back-to-back operations this entire morning.â
      âWhat were they?â
      âTumor removals,â he explained, âin the brain. Real delicate work. Iâve probably performed over a hundred by now, but I still canât shake the jitters each time I enter the theaterâŠâ Eddie grimaced, hiding it behind his jacket collar. Yes, he knew about Brendanâs job. Hearing it in this context, on the field and not in a dimly lit restaurant, hit differently; like he cared about his patients and didnât use his position as a point of status. This was not the Brendan he remembered. Regret churned in Eddieâs gut, mixing with the shame and embarrassment already present.
      âI know what you mean,â Hen smiled. She rubbed around the shoulder wound, cleaning it of dried blood to better inspect it. âYou can have it all down to a formula, but you will never be sure what might happen when the time comes.â
      âExactly.â
      Buck hurried back with new tools in hands. He handed a saw to Bobby, âWhere do you want me?â
      âOther side,â Bobby said. He tapped Hen on the shoulder, silently urging her off Brendan. âSir,â he started, âweâre going to be cutting the dashboard off shortly. Donât be afraid to talk or shout if you feel any pain, okay?â
      âI understand.â
      âIâll remove the wheel, first,â Bobby said, slipping a pair of goggles on, âdonât move.â He powered the saw on and, in seconds, removed the wheel. Brendan sagged somewhat, breathing stilted and ragged. âAre you okay?â
      âYeah...â He coughed, âThink my ribs might be bruised, possibly broken. I donât⊠I think thatâs it. Not sure.â
      âYouâre talking, so thatâs a good sign.â Hen felt around his chest, then held her stethoscope to hear his lungs. âNothing out of the ordinary here, Cap. Carry on.â
      Bobby, and Buck now, brought their saws to the dashboard and continued cutting. Hen waited, kneeling, holding a bottle of solution and gauze for when it was her turn again. Meanwhile, Eddie uselessly hovered near her. There wasnât much for him to do.
      That wasnât true for long.
      Suddenly he was very much needed, Bobby calling for him and motioning Eddie with the saw. He tripped over his feet, âComing! Coming!â Rushing to help Bobby remove the dashboard that, along with the glass shard, pinned Brendan to his seat. In doing this, Eddie glimpsed the red-stained leather under his leg. âHen!â he said, âAll you.â
      Hen filled the space where the dashboard had been, attending to Brendanâs wound with practiced speed. As Eddie and Bobby returned, she fixed the tourniquet around his thigh and was partway done with wrapping his leg with gauze. And when Buck sidled towards them, she began removing the glass shard in his shoulder. It was much longer than a passing glance would make you believe. âYikes,â Buck muttered, âYou ever think a windshield could do that?â
      âOld cars like these?â Bobby replied, âAnythingâs possible.â
      âHeâs good for removal!â Hen yelled over her shoulder, kicking her bag a few feet back. She stands, dusting off her knees, âIâll go get Chimney and the stretcher, be ready to help us set him down once weâre here.â
      âBuck and Eddieâll handle that,â Bobby said, âIâm gonna do a final sweep of the area, make sure we didnât miss anything. Copy?â
      âUnderstood.â Buck knocked shoulders with Eddie, nodding at the car, âLetâs go get the doctor ready for his ride back to work.â
      Eddie bit his cheek, letting silence give a better response than he could at the moment. If Buck found it odd, like Bobby, he didnât comment on it. They walked to Brendanâs car again, Eddie going through the motions to get him ready for transit. In that short span of seconds, Eddie hoped his luck might keep his secret safe. That Brendan wouldnât mention their date.
      He knelt down, waiting for Buckâs signal to lift his legs, when he made the mistake of finally meeting Brendanâs stare. Brendan offered him a tired smile. âThis is so not how I expected weâd meet again.â
      âŠShit.
      Buck stilled, his hands falling to their sides as he looked to Eddie. âYou two know each other?â
      Brendan sighed in the affirmative. âVery intimately.â
      âWhatâŠâ Buckâs face screwed itself into an expression of confusion, the rainbow wheel in his mind spinning endlessly while he processed Brendanâs innuendo.
      Eddie pounced to fill the awkward silence. âWe hung out, once,â he told Buck, âLike, a few days ago, I think? Super casualâŠâ
      âOh ââ
      âOh,â Brendan interjected, darker than earlier. He coughed, voice straining from the force of it, but he wasnât deterred. âOh, really? Hanging out⊠thatâs what youâre calling it?â
      âUhâŠâ Eddie, taken aback by such an unexpected call out, couldnât produce more than a few mumbled phrases that didnât move beyond one syllable nor, when strung together, were comprehensible. Instead he glanced between Brendan and Buck, wasting precious time with silence.
      Brendan, however, formed complete sentences. âSo tell me⊠since I have you, were you even planning on hanging out with me again, or do you leave all your buddies notes like that?â
      In his anger, Brendan shifted and started angling himself towards Eddie. Buck snapped out of his stupor enough to lay a calming hand on Brendanâs shoulder, âHey! Hey⊠sir, you need to keep still until we move you.â
      âSorry, sorryâŠâ Brendan relaxed, albeit his glare was still focused on Eddie. Eddie flinched under the weight of it.
      âIâŠâ Eddie tried, very aware of the sound behind him, of wheels rolling over gravel and measured footsteps. âI was trying to be nice?â
      âNice?â Brendan spat, âFuck you, Eddie.â
      âEddie,â Buck inched closer, drawing Eddieâs gaze from Brendan to him. He spoke softly, like Eddie were one of the many victims they attended to during their careers. Eddie also noted the sharp steeple Buckâs brows, drawn together as if he already filled in the missing gaps of Eddie and Brendanâs story. Shit. âWhy donât you let us handle this?â
      âIâŠâ Eddie found breathing as hard as speaking, managing enough foresight to sharply nod before standing and striding away from Brendanâs car. He passed a curious, concerned Bobby, but ignored his calls. Eddie kept himself tightly wound all the way to the engine. Once he entered, he fell apart. Eddieâs vision blurred, his lungs couldnât hold enough air, and he melted inside his uniform. All he was able to do before completely shutting down was shoot a quick message to Michael.
      Brendn in acidnt fine but h outd me what do
      Eddieâs grip on his phone tightened considerably when he heard the engine doors open again. Buck slid inside, not meeting Eddieâs wide, panicked stare. There were more doors opening, Bobby and other firefighters climbing aboard. âHen and Chim are taking that guy to the hospital,â Buck said, âOur work hereâs done.â He paused, gnawing on his lip, considering saying more while Bobby slowly pulled them onto the road. âWhat he saidâŠâ
      He missed the rest of Buckâs question. His voice dulled as a sharp ringing in Eddieâs head blocked out every sound around him. Eddie sunk into it, comforted in the simpleness of the noise. He pressed himself against the window, arms crossed over his chest, and watched the scenery blur during their drive to the station.
      Then, when they arrived, Eddie flung the door open and his puddled mass in a jacket spilled free of the engine. He stripped off his uniform in a record-setting pace. And, as he finished, Eddie saw Buck steadily approach, Bobby like a shadow behind him. Both wore similar expressions that warned Eddie of conversations he was not ready for. Because of that, Eddie did something he regret. A course of action so damning it spoke louder than any mangled defense he might put together.
      He hid.
      âStupid⊠stupidâŠâ Eddie whacked his phone across his temple, curled into a tight ball outside the building. He snuck through a door in the back, smart enough to not go far but knowing that itâs so rare anyone used this area. It was set aside for the firefighters who smoked, Chimney explained. Those were always a small contingent, never more than one or two per squad. As the years went by, numbers dwindled, and a smoking firefighter became an endangered species. Now, hardly anyone uses this tiny alley that separates the fire house from its adjoining building. Except for Eddie. âI canât believe I could have such shitty luckâŠâ
      He went to hit himself with his phone again, but a shrill ping cut into his spiraling. Eddie checked his messages â Can I call? It was Michael. He texted back a thumbs up he didnât mean. Soon his phone shook in his hands.
      Eddie answered, âHeyâŠâ
      âHi Eddie,â Michael said, tone soft like Buckâs back at the scene. He hated it. Eddie hated how much he wilted because of it, how his nerves started inching away from the edge at the gentle, implied coaxing. âHow are you feeling?â
      Eddie barked a short, nasty laugh, wiping beads of sweat off his forehead. âI feel like Iâm about to burst into flames.â
      âIf you do, at least youâre around people whoâll know what to do.â
      âWhat if I donât want them to save me,â Eddie groused, âshould I make a break for it before the first spark catches?â
      âLike they wouldnât race after youâŠâ Michaelâs voice trailed, clearly tiptoeing around the words he chose next. âSo,â he said, âyou ran into Brendan again today?â
      Eddie snorted. âMore like some kid ran into his carâŠâ He growled, kneading at his eye with the heel of his hand. âI canât believe what happened, and how I⊠how I froze like that. Seriously, what were the odds?â
      âPretty fucking low,â Michael told him, âBut thatâs exactly what it was, shit luck. Thereâs nothing you could have done to not have what happened, happened.â
      âThatâs not true,â he sighed, âI could have not gone on that date with him. Or, at least, not let him talk me into his bed.â
      âHeâs a charmer.â
      âI had nothing better going on,â Eddie said. He played his words back in his head, silently cursing how brusque they sounded. Was he really the bad guy in this scenario? Brendan hadnât seem interested in a relationship during their dinner, and Eddie thought his own feelings were on display, too. Buck always said his poker face had more cracks in it than a busted sidewalk. Maybe the note was unnecessary, he can concede. Eddie canât rewrite history and destroy it, though. âBesides,â he continued, swatting those past regrets away like flies, âBrendan wasnât all that charming when he outed me, on top of cursing me out in front of the 118.â
      âMan was in a car accident,â Michael reminded Eddie, âHe probably had more to worry about than decorum.â Michael coughed across the line, clearing his throat. âThat doesnât excuse what he did.â
      âYeah,â he said, âI thought it was, like, gay brotherhood that youâre not supposed to out another gay person⊠or whatever.â
      âI⊠donât think he knew. That you werenât outâŠâ Michael hummed, the noise rattling inside Eddieâs chest. âYouâre right, in a way. Any decent gay person wouldnât out a person before theyâre ready. I canât remember if Derek mentioned your⊠situation, when setting up the date. I can text him but, Eddie ââ Michaelâs sigh caused the line to crackle and break, Eddie shivering as it hit his ear ââ Eddie, Brendan and what he might and might not have known isnât important, isnât why I called.â Eddie knew. Of course, he knew. âWhat are you planning on doing next?â
      âThat depends,â Eddie mumbled. His free hand tugged on his laces, loosening them slowly. âDo you want to hear what I want to do, or what Iâm going to do.â
      âWhat do you want to do?â
      âFake mine and Chrisâs deaths,â he told Michael, âStart over somewhere new. Maybe on the East Coast, in a small fishing village where I can be a lighthouse keeper and never have to see another person ever again. Just me and Chris and the sea, until Chris leaves or I grow old and die. Whichever happens first.â
      âThatâs⊠dark.â Michael said, âAnd oddly specific.â
      Eddie shrugged, âI watched the Lighthouse last night. Robert Pattinson jerked it to some mermaid doodle in it. Like⊠I could do that. Survive off of doodles of hunky mermen, or sailors. Hunky mermen getting it on with sailors⊠God knows the real thing didnât work out.â
      âYou donât mean that.â
      âWell, what else can I do?â
      âYou can go inside and talk to your friends,â Michael reasoned, âYour team who cares about you, and are most definitely worried because of what happened and how it affected you. Your family, who is ready to accept you for who you are as they always will. But first, you need to trust them and let them in to see who that is.â
      When Michael explained it, the obvious choice also seemed to be the easiest. The tiny seed of doubt, however, planted once Eddie accepted his heartâs leanings and blossomed into a strange bushel of roses with thorny roots strangling his chest, would not let him be. It poisoned his rationality, shredding any confidence Eddie built. âI trust them with my life,â he wondered, speaking barely above a whisper, âwhy is it so hard to trust them with this? Is it just me?â
      âItâs not you, Eddie,â Michael said. His voice thundered with conviction, startling Eddie. âBelieve me, you arenât the first gay man to feel this way and, unfortunately, you wonât be the last.â
      He sniffed, a wet chuckle escaping past his lips in a raspy breath. âThat sucks.â
      âIt sure does,â Michael agreed.
      âDoes it ever go away?â he asked, âOr⊠get easier?â
      âI⊠itâs not a cut-and-dry answer,â he told Eddie, âIn some cases, yes. Others⊠no. Itâs situational.â Eddie found this answer unsatisfying. He wasnât the only one. âListen,â Michael said, âthis might seem scary now, but I, uh â remember that first night. That night you came to my place and confided in me. What did you say?â
      âThat I was gay.â
      âYesâŠâ Michael sucked in a deep breath, hissing his next thought so pointedly it cut through those pesky roots. âNow, imagine youâre me, saying what you said to me, but instead of saying it to me you were saying it to my lovely ex-wife who, at the time, was still my wife, and all this after weâre both a few glasses of wine deep and the kids are asleep.â
      Michaelâs past helped put Eddieâs own troubles in perspective. He mentioned as such to him.
      âI donât want to come off like âI had worseâ blah blah,â Michael said, âMy point is â you see how good the relationship between Athena and I is. She could have easily kicked me out and then never spoken to me again. But she didnât. She had every reason to hate me, but she didnât. Athena loved me when she thought I was straight and continued after learning I was gay. Itâs a different sort of love now, and yes, it might have wavered at times, but she stuck by my side like I stuck to hers. Yes, I was scared to tell her, just like you were when you came and told me. Just like you are now. But because I pushed through my fear, I freed us both from being unhappy. Her and Bobby⊠me and Derek⊠neither would have happened if I decided to keep my feelings to myself.â
      âYeah⊠your life did changeâŠâ Eddie rested his head against his knees, remnants of adrenaline from earlier fully fading leaving an exhaustion that set deep into his bones. âI guess thatâs what Iâm really afraid of. How⊠acknowledging who I really am, and owning it, how everything will change after.â
      âEddie, will being gay affect your job?â
      âWhat?â Eddie yelped, head rising again, neck aching from the whiplash Michaelâs unrelated question caused. âNo ââ
      âWill you being out really make you a completely different, unrecognizable person?â
      âUh⊠I â I donât⊠no?â
      âThen it sounds like nothing will actually change.â Michaelâs tone relaxed and, finally, Eddie let himself do the same. The other manâs speech wrapped around him like a warm blanket. âYou didnât wake up one morning and decide to be gay. Itâs something thatâs always been a part of you. Itâs been there during every call you went out on. Youâll still be Eddie⊠just a happier Eddie, because youâre allowing yourself to be happy and honest with who you are. Thatâs whatâs important here. Coming out isnât about other people, itâs about you. You, opening yourself to others to see this part of you, and letting them share in the joy of who you are. And the 118, your friends, will still love you because this⊠this gay Eddie you have in your mind, is just Eddie. Thatâs it.â
      Eddie didnât cry. He wouldnât be able to hide it, once he went back inside to confront his friends. If they asked, Eddie might mumble a few broken words about allergies then move on. Because he didnât let his tears fall. âThanks, Michael,â Eddie said, âI⊠Iâm really grateful for you, being my friend. And that you didnât turn me away like you should have done when I showed up at your apartment.â
      âI was less afraid of what youâd do,â Michael laughed, âand more afraid what you might do if I didnât.â
      They ended the call soon enough, with Eddie exchanging a few final pleasantries while Michaelâs goodbye was laced with encouragement.
      Eddie stood, riding the aches of pain that came from unfurling his back out of the tight coil he forced it into. He stretched his arms, pointed high towards the sky. Eddie leaned onto his toes, and even lifted his face to better feel the sun shining above.
      Much too warm for fall.
      Despite the heat and his fears, Eddie returned to the firehouse. He slowly crept inside, alert, gaze bouncing around for a sign of his friends. When he didnât find them on the first floor, not hovering by the truck and newly returned ambulance or biding time in the gym, Eddie passed faceless co-workers on his way to the stairs. Each step Eddie took sounded like beats from a heavy drum, sounding a funeral march. Eddie kept up the tempo.
      As he climbed higher, his head peeked out and Eddie caught a glimpse of the second floor. Like always, his eyes were drawn immediately to Buck. He, along with Bobby, Hen, and Chim, were huddled around the kitchen island. Eddie watched them converse quietly, briefly, the discussion cutting off because Buck, the one currently speaking, turned and saw Eddie. Buck straightened, body taut and tense like Christopher got after Eddie caught him misbehaving. Eddie wasnât foolish enough to think they were talking about anything other than him. Buckâs face flickers, flipping through emotions like pages in a book too fast so Eddie canât read. It settled on a steely façade of determination, Buck readying to move. Before he can, Bobby stopped Buck with one hand on his shoulder. He understood.
      Let Eddie come to them.
      He did, slowly, at his own pace. Eddie settled between Hen and Chimney, both firefighters creating a space for him.
      Thereâs a beat of silence, the air above the kitchen island so weighty Eddieâs shoulders drooped. He fought against it, taking a deep breath. âHey.â
      âEddie,â Bobby spoke first, âhow are you doing?â
      Michael advised honesty. Thatâs what Eddie gave. âIâm a little scared,â he admitted with a laugh, staring intently at a divot in the islandâs counter, and how his finger repeatedly traced it. âOkay. A lot of scared.â
      âWeâre here for you Eddie,â Bobby said, âWhatever it is.â On either side, his friends reached for him. Hen laid her hand over Eddieâs, crushing it in a loving grip, while Chimney soothingly rubbed his back. Eddie glanced at the men in front of him, Bobby looking encouraging at him while BuckâŠ
      Eddie still canât decipher what it is Buck tries to show.
      If he thought about it too long, heâd lose all the confidence he gathered to arrive at this point. Eddie swallowed past the lump in his throat, attempting to smile. âThank you,â he said, âreally.â Then, without fanfare, Eddie shrugged and told his friends, âIâm gay.â
      Like that, the next breath Eddie took felt lighter. It was unbelievable. No one said anything, but their love and acceptance were visible in other ways. Eddie was almost brought to tears because of them. He reigned his emotions in, maintaining control. If they stayed like this, however, heâs sure to break.
      Eddie cleared his throat, âThatâs all. So if we couldâŠâ
      âNot so fast,â Chimney said, smirk tainting their tender moment. His hand slunk across Eddieâs back to his shoulder, clamping down and chaining Eddie there at his side. âThereâs still the doctor of it all thatâs been unaccounted forâŠâ
      âChim,â Bobby warned lightly, trying his best to play boss.
      Hen waved him off. âEddie should have his chance to explain,â she argued, âtell us his side of the story. Lord knows Chim and I got an earful about what that man thought of you, Eddie. Filled the entire drive from the wreck to the hospital.â
      âHe had a lot of opinions,â Chimney added.
      Eddie sighed. He expected they might have questions, especially about Brendan. He wasnât unprepared for this. âI went on one date with the man,â he explained, âsomething Michael set up ââ
      âMichael?â Bobby interrupted, tapping his chest, âMy Michael?â
      âHeâs not just your friend,â Eddie said, âHe⊠heâs been helping me deal with⊠with all this. This⊠being gay, stuff.â He shifted, bending forward to press his chest on the counter. âIt was Michaelâs idea I go on a date with Brendan, sort of like practice. To get more comfortable being⊠out, in public, with another man. Personally, I didnât think the date was that special. Brendan was⊠he had a lot of personality.â
      âSure was flexing that⊠personality, despite all those injuries,â Hen agreed, âKept going on about this â this note you wrote? What was that about?â Hen might have asked coyly, but it was obvious to Eddie she knew.
      He still answered her. âI was going for nice,â he muttered, âI didnât want to up and abandon him after we⊠after he invited me over for the night, and weâŠâ They were at work. Eddie couldnât say more.
      Nothing else needed saying. Even Buck understood, if his rapidly flushing cheeks meant anything. âOh,â he said, âso you and him⊠you twoâŠâ His pointer fingers on either hand were extended, slapping each other with wide sweeps.
      Hen choked on a snort, shoving Buckâs hands apart. âThey werenât sword-fighting, Buck.â
      âYeah, I knew thatâŠâ Because of his bashful pout, followed by Buck tucking his head into his chest, Eddie didnât buy his excuse.
      âOkay,â Bobby steered the conversation elsewhere, âbesides us and⊠Michael⊠have you told anyone else?â
      Eddie shook his head. âReally?â Buck asked, âNot even Chris?â
      âEspecially not ChrisâŠâ Some of that earlier fear returned, roosting in his chest like a bird returned north from winter. âI never⊠I donât know how I would explain it to him or⊠how much I would have to explain? Like, if I was a single dad from the start, Iâm sure it would be easier. But most of his memories are with me and his mom, and I â I havenât figured out a way to tell him while also not invalidating mine and Shannonâs marriage, yâknow?â Eddie agonized over that near constantly. He loved Shannon, truly, and wanted their marriage to work despite not being attracted to her in the way that mattered. Christopher needed her in his life. If that meant Eddie gave Shannon what she wanted, what Eddie pretended he wanted to, it would have been worth it.
      But, in the end, she still went ahead with the divorce. Shannon was more perceptive than he ever gave her credit for.
      âAnd then thereâs the Ana of it allâŠâ Eddie threw out, offhandedly.
      âWait,â Buck said, âwas that why you broke it off with her? When you told meâŠâ
      Eddieâs breath hitched slightly, and he drummed his fingers against the counterspace. âNo,â he said, âI⊠I didnât have the realization then. I meant it, about us not clicking and⊠her being another try at giving Chris a mom. Although, being gay would definitely have played a factor in us not clicking.â
      âThatâs for sure.â
      Another wave of silence washed over them, this the most awkward of them all. âIf thatâs it for questionsâŠâ Eddie extricated himself from the group, final shreds of adrenaline fading and leaving him exhausted. His mind already set a course for the bunks, planning a lengthy nap as a reward for his vulnerability.
      âOf course,â Bobby rounded the island, moving closer to Eddie. Buck was on his heels, but hung back on the fringes of the group, a few inches behind Hen and Chimney. âI want you to know how proud I am of you, though. I canât imagine any of what you had to deal with was easy, and if you need anything from us â keeping this information to ourselves or whatever⊠let us know. Weâll follow your lead.â He then opened himself for a hug, giving Eddie the option to accept or refuse.
      Eddie sagged into Bobbyâs embrace, grateful. âThank you.â Hen and Chimney joined them, squeezing Eddie tighter and tighter. Only Buck kept his distance. Eddie opened his eyes and noticed the younger man watching them, a glint in his eye that struck Eddieâs nerve. Once the others released him, Eddie confronted Buck. âHey, are youâŠâ
      âHmm?â Buck blinked, and what Eddie saw earlier disappeared. It vanished like it never existed. Maybe Eddie imagined it? Regardless, Buck smiled in his usual, too-large-for-his-face way and swept Eddie in a giant hug of his own. âIâm proud, too,â he whispered, âAnd what Bobby said goes double for me. Anything you need, ask⊠and Iâll be there.â
      Eddie caught himself before he spoke without thinking. Instead, he returned the hug. He rested his cheek against Buckâs shoulder, humming in acknowledgment of Buckâs promise.
      Buck would do anything for Eddie, as much as he would do anything for Christopher.
      Anything⊠except what Eddie truly desired from him.
      While baring his soul to the group about his sexuality was one matter, confessing to all his secrets was an entirely different sort he hadnât felt ready for. He doubted he ever will be. Because if he told Buck the reason why he stopped running from the truth, why he couldnât deny his feelings after being content in doing so for years, Eddie feared Buck would prove the sickening voices in his head right by leaving him.
      Really, Eddie thought, what else was there to do when you learn your best friend is in love with you?
      So he ignored how Buckâs touch skimmed his lower back, the gentle swaying dance they began by hugging longer than necessary, and, as they drew apart, the struck-match feeling of Buckâs lips brushing the outer edge of his ear.
      There was nothing to read into, he reminded himself. He and Buck were friends. Best friends. Best buddies. Buck had Taylor, and EddieâŠ
      Eddie had hope. Hope, emboldened by his bout of honesty, that there will come a day he found a man he truly loved to share his life with.
      Even if they werenât Buck.
#buddie#9-1-1 on fox#post-4x14#eddie diaz#gay eddie diaz#eddie diaz comes out#9-1-1 s5 spec fic#evan 'buck' buckley#buck x eddie#pining eddie diaz#bobby nash#henrietta 'hen' wilson#howard 'chimney' han#michael grant#less about the getting together and more about the character study of eddie if they decided to go through with the gay route
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
prompt: buck hears eddie talking about him over the car's bluetooth speaker (or the other way around!)
sang so loud, sang so clear on AO3 (2.4k)Â
It was safe to say that there was no part of his job that Eddie didnât like. He loved being part of the community. He loved being able to make a positive change in the worst moments of someoneâs life. Hell, he loved helping people in general, and that stretched far beyond the âcall of dutyâ; so it was no surprise that when Bobby announced a series of fundraisers that the LAFD were participating in, Eddie was probably the only person who didnât groan in defeat when Station 6 got to host a carnival while the 118 got stuck with a car wash.
He was excited because it was for charity. Not because it meant he got to have an entire weekend free from fire, free to spend some more time with his kid. That wasnât it at all.
It also wasnât because he got to spend some more time with Buck, outside of an assortment of burning buildings. That definitely wasnât itâbecause despite what Carla said (and what Abuela said, and what Pepa said, and the looks that Hen shot him) he was an adult who had control over himself and had his...emotions regarding Buck under control.
It wasnât a crush. He was fine. The fact that he had to go through the Starbucks line again after he got Buckâs order to get his own coffee was purely coincidental.
âDad, can we play my music?â
âSure, buddy.â
Eddie idly switched through the radio controls on his truck as he pulled onto the highway, smiling at his son in the rear view mirror as Chris pulled out his phone, working with the accessibility controls easily. The device was still pretty new, and Chris was still getting the hang of it, but after the tsunami Eddie would have bought him one phone for each hand if it meant he would know his son was safe at all times. Paranoia aside, Chris had been elated at cataloguing his life whenever he couldâthey already had digital albums full of Chris and his school friends, his family, and the things he got to do with Carla while Eddie was stuck at work.
Normally on days like today, Carla would have swung by and picked Chris up from the house, but it was easy enough to push that back an hour or so and have her pick Chris up right from the firehouse when he had all but begged to come in to the 118 and say hi to the team.
And hell, if Eddie got his kid to kick up the cuteness near their tip jar? Eddie wouldnât complain about that, either.
One of Chrisâ favorite albums had wrapped to a close when Eddie pulled off the highway, turning down the volume as they started to approach the 118. The morning was still pretty young, but it looked like they already had a pretty good turnout lined upâthere were cars wrapped around the station building, in various stages of drying, with a line pretty steadily moving through the main engine bay. It looked like Bobby had moved the trucks out toward the street for added publicity, meaning the entire floor of the station was filled with cars, suds, and pop-ish music (no doubt, courtesy of Chim).
âEddie, donât tell me you actually expect us to wash your truck.â Chim snarked from the stairs, his LAFD tee shirt covered in colorful suds and sticking to his skin, and Eddie only smirked as he shoved a twenty into the donation jar. âCome on now, Iâm a paying customer! Are you telling me that youâre gonna turn away someone for a charity drive?â
âNo, he isnât. Eddie, here, gimme the keys.â Eddie beamed as he heard Buckâs voice behind him, sticking his tongue out at Chim in a very mature, grown up way as he helped Chris out of the truck. Reaching back into the drivers seat, he pulled the second coffee out of the holder, the iced drink matching his own save for Buckâs added pumps of sugarâand almost keeled over when he turned around.
Look, if there was one thing that Eddie Diaz knew, it was that life was not fair.
His two tours werenât fair. His sonâs CP wasnât fair. His marriage with Sharon hadnât been fair.
But pulling up to the 118, stepping out of his truck, and coming face to face with Buck? Buck, who was clad only in his turnout pants and suspenders, who was dripping wet?
Well, that wasnât just unfair, that was mean.
âSee, Chim, this is why the Diazâs are my favorite. You gotta step up, man, Eddie brought me my favorite coffee and my favorite Chris.â
Buck was thankfully oblivious as Eddie short circuited, bending down to high five Chris, his face brightening when he saw the second coffee in Eddieâs hands. He pulled the coffee and the keys out of Eddieâs shockingly limp grip, turning to Chim triumphantly as Eddie tried to gather his thoughts. His thoughts, which currently needed gathering, because they were tracing the path a drop of water made as it glided along Buckâs shoulder blades, trailed along to the edge of his torso, resting on a hip that Eddie would very much like to bite, thank you, andâ
âBuck, Iâll be giving you an actual niece or nephew! That has to rank better than coffee!â
âWell, first of all, Maddie will be giving me an actual niece or nephew.  Second of allâŠâ
Eddie pulled himself back to realist as Buck and Chim started to bicker, eyes suddenly desperate to look anywhere else before he got distracted again. âHey, uh, Iâm going to set Chris up upstairs, weâll be down in a second.â
He wasnât sure if he was more thankful for the easy out or for the distance that he got to put between himself and a half naked Buck, but Eddie was nothing if he wasnât an idiotâso even as he helped Chris set up some papers around the table at the loft, he still found himself peeking over the railing whenever Buck laughed, or shouted, or did anything that could draw Eddieâs attention away from the here and now as he sipped his coffee.
One of his little dalliances must have taken a little longer than before, because he honestly couldnât telly ou how much time had passed before he heard Chris speak up.
âDadâs got a crush on Buck, Dadâs got a crush on Buck...â
Eddie felt his head snap up, his face instantly bright red as he almost choked on his iced coffee. He gasped as he saw Chris hiding behind his cell phone, immediately breaking out into giggles as he pointed his camera back and forth from Eddie to where Buck stood in the engine bay. He was quiet enough, thank fuck, so Eddie didnât have to do any immediate damage controlâjust had to save face, doing so with an exaggerated flourish as he easily closed the space between he and Chris, picking his son up playfully with one arm as the other snagged his phone from his hand.
âThe lies! The deceit! Betrayed by my own son!â
âDaddy, nooo!â
Eddie found himself laughing as he flopped down on to one of the overstuffed couches in the loft, grinning like a fool as Chris wriggled beside him, his phone still secure in Eddieâs hand, out of Chrisâ reach.
âDadâs got a crush on Buck, Dadâs got a crush on Buck...â
Eddie blinked, looking up as he heard Chrisâ words repeated, eyes looking at the loop now playing on his phone. It was a Snapchatâone of the few social apps Eddie allowed on Chrisâ phone, after Chris had more or less taught him how to use it (and had promised to send Eddie a few selfies throughout the day).
Chris had done the courtesy of zooming on Buck, bending over to scrub at the rims on Eddieâs truck, and then the camera swung back to Eddie, who... missed his own mouth with his straw, several times, trying to sip from his coffee.
Alright, maybe his crush wasnât as under control as he thought it was.
âDadâs got a crush on Buck, Dadâs got a crush on Buck...â
Eddie frowned as his ears twinged, suddenly aware that the sound wasnât coming from Chrisâ phone, the looping audio echoing up to the loft. He put his head next to the phone, trying to tellâwere the speakers broken? Was something jammed in a port or whatever?
He turned the volume up, frowning, a little disappointed. He had told Chris how important it was to take care of this things, and if his phone had already been dropped or broken, he would have toâ
âDADâS GOT A CRUSH ON BUCK, DADâS GOT A CRUSH ON BUCK...â
âhe would have to crawl into a hole and die, because that sound wasnât coming from Chrisâ phone, it was coming from Eddieâs truck. Eddieâs truck, which was powered on, and still connected to Chrisâ phone from their music this morning.
Eddieâs truck, which thanks to his own idiocy had every speaker blasting, and had a bright red Buck bent over the hoodâfrozen, like Eddie seemed to be, his face unreadable as he stared up at Eddie in the loft up above the bay. Eddie felt his body go numb as Chris finally stole his phone back, the sound thankfully stopping as he locked his phone.
âOh fuck.â
âOoh, you owe a dollar to Carlaâs swear jar.â
-
âThereâs my number one guy! Chris, howâre you doing?â
Eddie managed to successfully avoid everyone for the better part of an hourâit was easy enough to do, considering they still had a line out the door of people waiting to get their cars scrubbed down by the 118. He felt a small moment of dread spike through his heart as Carla managed to seek them outâhe would have a zero chance of hiding if he didnât have his âson-shieldâ up.
Eddie managed a small smile as Carla ruffled Chrisâ hair, clearing his throat. âHey, Carla, you brought your van today right?â
âSure did, whatâs up?â
âOh, nothing. I just need to lie down behind your rear wheels so you can put me out of your misery before you leave.â
â... uh huh.â Carla rose her brow as Chris shoved his papers and markers into his backpack, looking at Eddie in a way that was almost pitying. âDaddy accidentally megaphoned his crush on Buck to the entire station, so heâs been hiding upstairs and helping me draw instead of helping with charities.â
Well, that was one way to put it, though Eddie would have preferred a way that made him feel less of a dick. He winced as he nodded his head, clearing his throat as Carlaâs eyes widened. âAnd thatâs why Daddy has to go throw himself into traffic.â
âWell, I would prefer it if you didnât.â Eddie felt his entire body tense as he heard Buck behind him, only managing a weak wave as Carla whisked Chris off down the stairsâhis protests of âbut Carla, I wanna listen!â making Eddie go even redder.
At the very least, he wasnât alone in that boat. Buck was an absolutely delightful shade of pink, and Eddie was fucking distraught to learn that Buckâs blush went all the way down to his chest, because for some reason the other man still hadnât put on a shirt. Normally, Eddie would have been delighted to see that, but after having his feelings so publicly (even if intentionally) put on blast, all that he wanted was to be swallowed up by the floor.
âDonât worry, Iâd make sure Chim had to scrape me off the pavement, you wouldnât have to worry about it.â Eddie said, his humor landing a little darkâBuck didnât laugh, but his smile did grow, and Eddie counted that as a win as he sighed. âLook, Buck, Iâm sorry, I didnât mean to make things weird and I donât want toââ
âOh, Eddie, Iâm not here to talk about that, I just wanted to get your help scrubbing on the floor.â
Oh. The car wash, right. Eddie felt his stomach drop as he swallowed, processing what Buck had said, nodding his head. Buck wanted to look past it, pretend it hadnât happened. That was... fine. Eddie hitched a smile onto his face, nodding his head as he looked down the floor, finding the tie of his own boots fascinating. âYeah, no, youâre right. Sorry I was putting it off, Iâll grab some towels and I canââ
âActually, you should start washing up with me. I was thinking we could make a bet out of it.â
Eddie looked back up, curiosity outweighing all the weight in his stomach as he tilted his head, trying to get a read on Buckâeven if all he could see was that delicious blush, trailing down Buckâs neck and fucking Christ, across his chest. âA bet? Buck, I donât know ifââ
âWhoever gets the most tips has to pay for dinner... tonight? After weâve dried off?â
Eddie felt his jaw click shut as Buck cut him off again, his brain trying to work a mile a minute as he caught up with what Buck had said.
Because if he didnât know any better, if sounded like Buck was asking him out on a date.
âBuck, you... you? Me, when... you really... when I...â
âEddie, will you please just say yes? I was going to ask you an hour ago, but youâve been hiding very unsuccessfully from me.â
Buck was asking him out to dinner. Buck was asking, him, Eddie Diaz, out to dinner, after Eddie all but humiliated himself. Buck had been waiting since that moment to ask Eddie out to dinner. Oh this, this he could certainly work with.
âSo⊠dinner, huh? Youâre on. But if youâre going to be working in just your turnouts, so am I.â
Yeah, he could work with that. And two could play at this game.
(If Carla was laughing when Eddie explained their little bet over the phone later, she was all but howling when Eddie admitted he won, asking if she could watch Chris for a few more hours and for recommendations as to where he could take Buck on their first dateâeven as Chris shouted âgood luck, dad!â over the phone.)
#buddie#911#eddie diaz#evan buckley#chris diaz#fluff#flospeaks#floanswers#hearteyesforbuck#carwash#a carwash fic in which NOTHING gets washed#ha!
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
stay close (donât go)
fandom: 9-1-1
pairing: Buck/Eddie
rating: gen
word count: 1.2k words
summary:Â Buck and Eddie talk when Eddie wakes up in the hospital.
a 3x15 (âEddie Beginsâ) coda
[read on ao3]Â
or under the cut!
âOn your left.â
Buck blinks, coming out of that half-asleep, half-awake state heâs been in since Eddie was brought into the hospital. Heâs still got that anxiety inside, that uneasy feeling, but at least now Eddieâs awake and speaking. And since Chris got them to watch all of the Marvel films, referencing pop culture.
âEddie,â Buck breathes, scooting closer with his chair. âHow are you feeling? Should I get the doctor or-or a nurse or someone?â
Eddie shakes his head, but the corners of his mouth curl up. âNo, thatâs okay, Iâm good. How long was I out?â
âJust overnight⊠Iâm still gonna get a nurse.â
Buck starts standing up, but then he feels a hand on his wrist, barely there, yet electrifying. He whips his head around and stares at Eddie. Heâs never had this feeling. Not with anyone, definitely not with him.Â
Eddieâs hand lingers, softly holding it there. He says, âStay,â quietly, staring at Buck with red-rimmed eyes.
âO-okay.â Buck almost sits on the seat he was in for the past ten hours, but changes his mind at the last second and sits on the edge of Eddieâs bed. âAre you okay?â
For a while, theyâre quiet. The only noises are the beeping of Eddieâs heart rate monitor and distant PA system calls. Eddieâs hand is still on Buckâs wrist, gingerly, almost absentmindedly moving his thumb in a stroking matter. Buck really doesnât want to think about it, but he canât not think about it.
âI had to cut my line.â
âI know.â
âI kept thinking - what if it was Chris? What if he was stuck down there?â
âI know.â Eddie wants to speak, but Buck knows what he wants to ask. âHeâs fine. He was here last night, he gave you a big olâ smooch on your forehead. Carlaâs watching him.â
Eddie nods a bit, chewing on his lip. There is so much Buck wants to say. He wants to scold him, to tell him off for cutting his line, he wants to tell him not to do anything reckless ever again, he wants to tell him heâs safe now. He wants to tell Eddie that he was so worried, so scared that he was certain the world would collapse under his feet.
Buck doesnât say anything. He knows Eddie knows. He also knows that there is something else heâd like to say, something heâs been feeling for a while. But he doesnât say that either.
âThank you,â Eddie tells him, eventually. His voice is merely a whisper, but it still pierces Buckâs soul. âFor not giving up on me.â
âI would never, you know that.â
âI do.â Eddie sighs and winces. Buckâs muscles tense and he wants to run to get a doctor. But Eddieâs hand on his arm moves, so heâs not gripping his wrist anymore, rather he is actively holding his hand, fingers intertwined. âIâm fine, Buck, I promise.â
âEddieâŠâ
âI am.â He smiles at Buck, but Buck isnât really convinced. He lets it slide, promising to himself that next time, heâs getting a doctor. âI was⊠I was underwater and my tank ran out. I thought⊠That was it, you know? A couple of tours, a helicopter crash and countless disasters, but I never wouldâve guessed that Iâd meet Grim stuck in a hole.â
âEddie, you donât have to.â
âI do, just⊠let me finish. Please?âÂ
Buck nods as he squeezes Eddieâs hand. Thereâs a line theyâre crossing, maybe. His father would tell him that men donât hold hands, only in camaraderie. Heâd tell him men have to be men, strong and stoical, and he canât look at Eddie like that, he canât hold Eddieâs hand like that, he canât think about Eddie like that. But Buck does, he wants to, he needs to. Ever since meeting Eddie, Buckâs been thinking about him like that and those thoughts are not going anywhere.
âSorry, continue.â
Eddie blinks a couple of times. âWhen I was in Afghanistan, we came close to kickinâ it. I never had that âlife flashing before my eyesâ moment until yesterday. I saw Chris, of course, I did. I knew I couldn't give up because of him. But I saw the 118, the family we have there and I saw you, Buck⊠It made me understand just how special everyone is, just how special you are.â
âWhat are you saying, Eddie?â
âYouâve been so good to Chris, so good to me. I donât know where weâd be without you. You keep us safe, the both of us and you make that kid so happy.â Eddie smiles at Buck. Maybe itâs a sudden thing, maybe itâs been building for a while, maybe itâs always been there. âCome âere.â
Eddie pulls him closer; Buck, avoiding the wires, leans on him, sort of awkwardly hugging him, making sure heâs not pressing against him too much. Eddie burrows his face in the crook of Buckâs neck.
Buck exhales, possibly for the first time since Eddie went into that hole. It hurts, but in a good way, like he needed it, like this breath gives him understanding.
âI know,â he whispers and Eddie holds him tighter.Â
They donât need big words or any words at all. Thatâs what makes them a good team, the silent communication, reading each otherâs minds, knowing the other so well.Â
Eddie pulls back, as much as his pillows let him, and looks at Buck. His eyes keep shifting between his eyes and lips. Maybe itâs because of that connection Buck knows the unspoken question, which he promptly answers by pressing a soft kiss on Eddieâs sore lips.
There is no fanfare, no fireworks. Itâs a self-explanatory thing, an easy thing, a safe thing. There is no overthinking, no panicking. Itâs not a conclusion, not a final chapter, but rather a beginning of something.
Eddie smiles at him. âShouldâve gotten stuck ages ago, maybe we wouldâve been here sooner.â
âHey! Donât even think about it.â
âDad!â Chris yells, bursting into the room.
âChris!â Eddie lets go of Buckâs hand and tries to sit up as Chris makes his way to the bed. âOh, how Iâve missed you!â
âHow are you, dad?â he asks, as Buck puts him on the bed, next to Eddie. He takes the crutches and leans them against the side table.
âIâm doing great, kid.â He looks at Buck, then back at Chris. âHow are you? You didnât torture poor Carla, did you?â
âIâm going to leave you two alone,â Buck says quietly.
Once again, Eddie reaches for his hand. âStay.â
âStay, Buck,â Chris repeats, with a grin.
âOh, how could I say no to my favourite boys!â he says, which earns a laugh from both Eddie and Chris. âYou will not believe this, Chris, but your dad actually referenced Captain America when he woke up.â
âReally?â
For a while, they do some catching-up. Chris gets a diluted version of the events, then they talk about what films theyâll be watching, what food theyâll be eating when Eddie gets out of the hospital later that day.
Itâs crazy, Buck reckons, as he listens to Chris and Eddieâs conversation. Never in a million years would he have imagined anything better. He just wishes they skipped the getting trapped bit because the last time he felt that scared for someone was when his sister was in danger. Heâs glad Eddieâs safe and sound. Heâs glad that against all odds, they ended up here, even if âhereâ is a bit confusing right now. Heâs excited about what the future holds.Â
#911#buddie#911 fox#911 on fox#buck#eddie diaz#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#buddie fic#911 fic#evan buckley#911 fanfic#buddie fanfic#mine
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
i will learn to love the skies iâm under
read on ao3
Itâs been a minute since Eddie has been in such a bad mood.
A bad mood is annoying enough as it is, but this one in particular has been lurking for about a week too long, filtering into every part of his life so that heâs pissed from the minute he opens his eyes in the morning until heâs back in bed at night.Â
The worst part of it all is that nothing even happened to set him off in the first place. Chris is back from camp, the 118 has been miraculously tragedy-free recently, he and Buck have even been able to work a few date nights into their endlessly busy schedules. Everything is objectively perfect for the first time in a long time.
But still, these past few days, the very act of being a human has taken so much effort.
He smiles listening to Chris talk about the latest addition to his comic book collection, but he can feel that it doesnât quite reach his eyes, and he knows he missed a bit in the middle about some big twist when he zoned out to stare at nothing. It takes extra energy to make sure heâs focused during shift, so any socializing in between calls just feels draining. The jokes, the carefree laughs, it all slowly grates on him, his skin itching like itâs trying to slide off his bones. He tries, still, laughs at all the right places, but by the end of the day heâs retreating to the bunks between calls instead of the loft, blaming it on a migraine or sore back when heâs questioned.
Heâd had his bi-weekly with Frank shortly after it started, but even he couldnât offer much help.
âI can prescribe you something if this keeps going on and starts interfering with work or family. Otherwise, try and focus on the positives in your life. Itâs easier said than done, but sometimes it makes all the difference.â
So he was trying. He went out for drinks with the team, played with Chris in the backyard, had movie nights, the whole shebang. But everything was just off â he was off. And as much as he tried to act like he was fine, there was still that constant hum just under his skin, a constant reminder that his brain has decided hey man, I know your life is all peaches and cream right now, but that doesnât mean shit. Weâre gonna focus on the bad things instead.
What bad things? Hell if Eddie knows. He canât focus on one good or bad thing long enough to pinpoint what exactly is making him feel like this. It just seems to be the general cloud of past traumas hanging over his brain, and itâs raining all the residual bad feelings down, and he doesnât have an umbrella.
He sets his coffee cup down hard (harder than he meant to, really) before sitting down at the table, earning identical eyebrow raises from Hen and Chimney. He sees them look at each other out of the corner of his eye before they turn to him, pushing MCAT practice books out of the way.
âEverything alright, Eddie?â Hen asks, maternal and receptive as ever.
âFine,â he says tightly, and great, heâs snapping at people now. His energy is so depleted that he canât even keep his people skills in check.
âWeâre here if you need us, man,â Chim says with his reassuring smile. âWe wonât even tell Buck about it if you donât want us to.â
Eddie canât help smiling at that, though itâs still small. He does want to talk to Buck about it all, of course he does. But Buck has been pulling extra shifts this past week while Ortiz is out with a busted ankle. Theyâve barely had a conversation about what groceries to get let alone the fact that Eddie feels completely out of sorts, like heâs screwing up everything heâs normally good at and canât figure out how to do it right again. And he knows Buck will help him, knows he would want to if he knew, but he keeps convincing himself that he can figure it out on his own, that Buck is so overworked now that he shouldnât unload any more stress onto him. That, at least, he can still control.
He wishes his brain wasnât so damn loud.
He sighs, scrubbing a hand across his face as Hen and Chim watch him with matching weariness. âIâm okay guys, I promise. Just been feeling a little off lately.â
Hen smiles sympathetically, reaches across the table to squeeze his wrist. Chim opens his mouth like heâs about to offer his patented sage advice, but heâs quickly cut off by the alarm. They rush to the truck, and Eddie feels just a bit relieved that for at least the next two hours, heâll be humming with adrenaline rather than baseless uncertainty. Heâll forget the clouds and the rain and focus on saving lives, something he knows he can always do well.
He almost convinces himself that clouds will stay away this time.
~~~~~~~~~~
By the end of shift, Eddieâs whole body feels like lead. The last two calls of the day werenât even remarkable, but he feels listless and slow, and heâs glad that he can basically drive home by muscle memory now, because the rain is pounding in his brain agan and itâs hard to focus on anything. As he sits in the driveway, willing his body to get up get up get the hell up, he allows himself to slip for a minute. Maybe if he lets some of the rain in, briefly succumbs to the ever brewing storm, itâll release some of the pressure and itâll be easier to breathe. Maybe heâll feel like himself again for the first time in weeks.
10 minutes later, and heâs pretty sure he just feels worse.
He opens the front door and is greeted by darkness and silence. Christopher is at a sleepover, and the first thing he feels when he remembers is relieved, because now he can sit in his dark living room, alone, all night, and see if heâll feel better if he stews a little longer. Maybe he can work it out of his system in a few hours instead of a few minutes.
He also feels a little guilty that heâs glad his son isnât around, but he can just add that to all the other bad feelings. Might as well keep fueling the fire, at this point.
As he drops his bag in the entryway, he notices that itâs actually not totally dark in his house. Thereâs a soft glow coming through the sliding glass doors that lead to the patio, and heâs pretty sure he hears music too now that heâs paying attention. As he makes his way outside, heâs greeted by blankets and every pillow they own set up on the lawn, pad thai containers, and his boyfriend drenched in string lights and moonlight, adjusting the speakers set up around the yard.Â
Buck looks up as he hears the door slide closed, smiling brightly, and Eddie swears he can feel the rain lighten up. Itâs still there, steady as ever, but the drops arenât as heavy. Buck meets him at the door, drops a kiss on his cheek, and Eddieâs hands instinctively come up to rest on Buckâs hips.
âWhatâs all this?â Eddie asks as he continues surveying the yard. âI thought you were working tonight?â
Buck shrugs, his hands grabbing Eddieâs as he steers them to the pillow nest. âOrtiz got cleared for work a few days early, asked for her shifts back. Plus itâs a beautiful night, and I really just wanted to spend it with you.â
He kisses Eddie, warm and sweet, and pulls him down to sit next to him. They start to eat, chatting about everything theyâve missed since theyâve been on opposite shifts, and for a minute, Eddie can almost pretend like everything is normal, like a reset button has been pushed and he can breathe again. He always felt like Buckâs presence and love was a balm for his heart, but itâs moments like these where heâs reminded just how true that actually is.
But as they finish up, lying back and lapsing into comfortable silence, Eddieâs mind starts wandering again. All he wants to do is look at the stars, but the clouds are back, dark as ever, and he doesnât have the strength to keep fighting them off. He just wants a minute of peace with his boyfriend, that really doesnât seem like too much to ask.
âYou wanna let me know whatâs got you all huffy?â Buck asks, his fingers running through Eddieâs hair as his head rests on Buckâs chest. He thought heâd been keeping his irritation in his head. Or maybe he has, and Buck really can read his mind like Eddieâs always suspected he can.
âIâm fine,â he mumbles, and he knows itâs not convincing. Buck doesnât press though, just kisses the crown of his head and keeps his fingers moving.
And thatâs it, for whatever reason. Buck allowing him to just be, not expecting him to put up a front or plaster on a smile. Letting him navigate the storm in his head on his own, silently supportive. No one else has really pried or made him talk either, but with Buck itâs different. Everything is different with Buck. Eddie knows that he can fully lean into himself and Buck wonât think any less of him or ask too much of him. And heâll be there when he can finally articulate what the hell is going on.
Eddie shifts up, lying on his side so he and Buck are face to face. His eyes flit over Buckâs face, searching for...heâs not sure what. Just taking in the fact that heâs here for Eddie, in every way, and judging by the soft but determined look in his eyes, he doesnât plan on going anywhere. Eddie closes his eyes, lets out a hard breath through his nose. He feels Buckâs hand come up to rest on his jaw, gentle and grounding.
âEverything just feels...bad. I feel bad. And I have no reason to feel like that, because this is the most solid my life has been in years, but that makes me feel even worse.â Buckâs thumb traces a soothing trail along his skin as he collects his thoughts. âIt takes so much of me to function normally and it gets harder and harder every day. People keep asking if Iâm fine and I am, I should be, but I donât know how to say, âThings are going great but I still feel like garbage and I canât stop blaming myself for not being able to be happy.ââ
Buckâs hand moves down to Eddieâs waist and tugs, their bodies pressing together, his head resting on top of Eddieâs. Finally being able to put words to the noise in his brain helped, but he still feels the static at the surface of his skin, and everything still feels wrong.
âHoney, it is absolutely not your fault that youâre feeling like this,â Buck whispers as his hands start roaming up and down Eddieâs back. âAs much as you try and control your emotions, sometimes we donât get a say in the bullshit our brain makes up, and it can be hard to tell if itâs lying or not.â
Eddie sighs, feels his throat catch as he tries to talk. âIâm just tired of being mad for no reason. Itâs one thing when I know specifically whatâs pissing me off, but having it be everything and nothing at the same time is exhausting.â
âThen rest, baby. Itâs just you and me now, you donât have to pretend for me. Iâm here for the ups and downs, no matter what.â
Eddie doesnât know who or what blessed him with a man as good as Buck, but heâll be paying them back until the day he dies. Heâs never had someone he could fully let his guard down around, and now that he does, itâs strange and wonderful, something he hopes he never gets used to and never takes for granted.
He canât find the words to thank Buck, so he kisses him instead. Long and slow, pouring every once of gratitude he has into it, hoping Buck feels it. He thinks he does as he feels him smile against his lips.
He takes Buckâs advice, shifting back to settle into his chest, lets his body get heavy, tries to force the tension away. Buckâs hands on his back and lips on his forehead help.
Heâs not miraculously better, but he feels a little less weary. Left of center instead of all the way off course. The rain is still coming down in his mind, but Buck is there with strong arms, a warm heart, and an umbrella big enough for both of them.
Heâll always be there, Eddie knows that for sure. It makes weathering the storm a little easier.
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#9-1-1 fox#buddie fic#sir that's my emotional support firefighter that i project my feelings onto#ficcery#soft eddie rights
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
Get It Together
@hearteyesforbuck asked for a neck kiss and a Buddie get together, so here is a neck kiss and a Buddie get together.
There were a few facts that needed to be established right off the bat.
Evan Buckley was a good firefighter. He was selfless and brave and loved to do stupid shit if it meant saving one more person. He was also compared to a golden retriever for a few reasons. Yes, there was the blond hair, but he also had an insane amount of energy that sometimes annoyed his fellow â older â coworkers, not to mention the fact that he wore his heart on his sleeve right next to his firefighter badge.
Evan Buckley was insanely in love with Eddie Diaz. Head over heels, dopey grins and heart eyes in love with the man. Eddie also happened to be his best friend and work partner, and subsequently had no idea how Buck felt about him.
Evan Buckley was perfectly content to be Eddieâs best friend and work partner â he really was. Those were things he was proud to call himself and resisting the urge to touch and love Eddie had become second nature.
Evan Buckley hated when Eddie Diaz did stupid shit to save one more person. That was his job. And it saved Buck the torture of having to stand on the sidelines and watch the man he loved scale a burning building to check on a potential victim trapped on the third floor.
--
Bobby had declared the building unstable. Everyone was ordered to get out (âincluding you, Buckâ â which seemed a little unfair) and so far, every one of the team had emerged from the smoke and flames. Except for Eddie.
Buck didnât want to say he was worried, Eddie was good at his job, but Buck was perhaps concerned? Anxious? Apprehensive? Nervous?
Definitely not worried.
When a black and yellow jacket appeared out of the third story window holding a young girl who was curled tightly to his chest, the worry fell away. The stairs were blocked, Buck knew that, the only way out was straight down.
Under normal circumstances, he might have found some enjoyment in watching Eddie climb down the lattice with a child in one arm. It was very heroic and did things to his stomach. But before they could reach the ground, an explosion inside the house, caught the ivy around the makeshift ladder and sent Eddie and the girl flying.
Buck was running in their direction before they hit the ground. He arrived in time to help the girl to her feet and lead her into Henâs waiting arms for inspection. She was safe â terrified out of her mind â but safe and seemingly unharmed.
All that was left was the man slowly clambering to his feet.
âEddie thank god youâre okay.â Buck threw his arms around his partner in relief, his face tucking in to the crook of his neck to inhale the smell of smoke; to remind him that Eddie was alive. Eddie hugged him back, a little tighter than was strictly professional but Buck wasnât about to complain. Not if he had the excuse to touch.
He pressed his lips to the space of exposed skin above the collar of Eddieâs jacket, contentment letting him swing in their embrace. He loved that he could do this, fall into Eddie and be loved.
Buck pulled away with jerk, a surprised gasp escaping his lips before he could stop it. Stupid! Heâd let himself get caught up in the moment and forgotten that he wasnât allowed to do that. Any of that.
âSorry, sorry.â He apologized quickly, his arms snapping to his sides.
Which, of course, only made Eddie suspicious and worried. âWhat are you sorry for?â
Where to begin? Buck wanted to laugh at how royally heâd screwed up. But Eddie hadnât noticed. So he was safe for now. Best to forget it. âNothing. Never mind.â
âNo, Buck, what happened? Tell me.â Damn Eddie for being so⊠Eddie. So kind and caring and sweet and beautiful.
This wasnât helping.
He had to say something, didnât he? So he promised âlaterâ really hoping Eddie would forget all about it by the time âlaterâ came.
He didnât. Of course he didnât. No, Eddie saved âlaterâ for when they were at Buckâs apartment at the end of their shift, drinking beer and laughing off the day as they always did.
âOkay, are you ready to tell me what happened on that call today?â
He didnât even have to ask âwhich callâ â which might have saved him a little time to think of a better answer than the one that came out. âNothing.â
Eddie rolled his eyes. Even his eye rolls were gorgeous. Pull yourself together, Buck. This is getting ridiculous. âYou looked like you were gonna throw up.â Eddie stepped closer which only made Buck feel worse when he recoiled a little. âCome on, you can tell me.â
Could he? Could Buck tell Eddie how heâd been pining after him for months? How he thought he might be in love for the first time, maybe ever? That the brief kiss heâd placed on Eddieâs skin had been the happiest heâd felt in a while? Could he at least say something instead of staring at the bottom of his empty bottle?
âI accidentally kissed your neck. Thatâs all.â
âAccidentally? Then why did you make a big deal out of it?â Good question, Eddie. Well, Buckâs Brain? Why had he made such a big deal out of it? It was an accident after all. Stupid! Eddie saw right through his obvious, guilty expression. âWhy did you do it?â
âInstinct?â Great. Well done. This was definitely going to get him out of the hole he had dug for himself.
âKissing me was instinct?â
There was something in Eddieâs voice that made Buck look up, and suddenly he couldnât breathe. His eyes were so bright, so open, soâŠhopeful? That couldnât be right.
Even if he was projecting that hope, Buck clearly had a lot of it, which is what he would blame for what came out of his mouth next. âIâd like it to be.â
And would he ever. Getting to kiss and hug Eddie after a tough call, kissing him good morning, goodbye, good night, just because. Thatâd be amazing. And now there was no going back. Heâd said what heâd said and this was the end of it for them. Eddie would never be his friend after this.
âDo you want to do it again?â
What?
Hold on.
What??
Eddie hadnât just asked what Buck thought heâd asked, right? Was he trying to kill him? There was no way to answer this. If he said no and Eddie wanted him to say yes, things were done. If he said yes and Eddie wanted him to say no, things were heartbreakingly done. If he said no, and Eddie wanted him to say no, Buck would never be able to look him in the eye again, knowing that heâd been lying. If he said yes and Eddie wanted him to say yesâŠ
âDo you want me to kiss you?â
It was Eddie who pulled him into an embrace this time, arm firmly around his waist to anchor as he pressed his body against Buckâs. This wasâŠunexpected. And Buck was not about to question it. Not when this could be the last time Eddie ever touched him.
âI think we have the same instinct.â
When Eddie pressed his lips to the skin just above his t-shirt, Buck was pretty sure heâd died. Or was still dreaming that very nice dream heâd had a few nights ago. But no, this was real. The curve of his arm around Eddieâs back was real, the scratch of his stubble against Buckâs neck was very real.
Holy shit!
Okay. This was officially the best day ever.
Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie the way he had at the scene except now, he didnât let go for a long time. Not until they were walking down the aisle a year later.
#911 fic#911 fox#buddie#cj writes things#hearteyesforbuck#that was 1300 words I wasn't expecting to write today#where's the mirror fic eli?
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
passing ships
Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz
Warnings: nothing, just being being idiots reallyÂ
Category: AngstÂ
Word Count: 2.6k
Authorâs Note: Takes place right after Buckâs return after the lawsuitÂ
AO3 LinkÂ
----
Silence.Â
No bickering, no fighting and no stupid jokes.Â
Pure deafening silence.Â
The two were no longer speaking, although they had the clear to- he couldn't bring himself to forgive him, not yet and truthfully he didnât know if he would ever be able to forgive him.Â
After what he put the team through, what he caused them and what he did to them- to their relationship.Â
Buck and Eddie sat on opposite ends of the station, the blond on the couch and the brunette in the kitchen. Both glancing at the other when the other isnât looking, hoping theyâd think of something to say to each other.Â
Everyone can feel the tension, it hits whoever enters their vicinity like a brick wall.Â
Eddie blew up at Buck the day in the grocery store and since then, neither of them had spoken to the other unless they were in the field. They worked seamlessly there. Wordless communication, in-sync as always yet the moment they step off the truck, all of that goes out the window and they go separate ways.Â
Buck came close to talking to him one day while unpacking the halloween decoration. Eddie had walked past him, the urge to call for him and tell him that he was sorry but he didnât.Â
A part of him knew that Eddie would forgive him but another part of him felt that Eddie would still hold it against him somehow.
Buck didnât know Eddie as well as he thought he did.Â
Eddieâs pace was much slower than normal as he passed by, his heart pounding in his chest just waiting for Buck to call out to him and to fix what had broken but he didnât.Â
----Â
âDad?â the boy called from the kitchen table, his fatherâs back to him.
Eddie was washing dishes, the sponge in his hand and the tap running but his eyes were fixated on something outside the window. Christopher gets up and walks over to his father, turning off the tap then Eddie looks down. âOh sorry bud, did you ask me something?â he puts the sponge down and turns to his son.Â
The look on Christopherâs face was enough for Eddie to internally groan, not because of Chris but because of what he was about to ask.Â
âWhereâs Buck?âÂ
And there it was.Â
âBuckâs been busy budâ Eddie tells his son. This wasn't a complete lie, from the overheard conversations in the station, it seemed like Buck had been busy.Â
âWhen is he coming over? We were supposed to have movie nightâ Chris sounded sad. Eddie knows how much Chris loves and looks up to Buck and for him not to be around was killing him.. because of Christopher of course.Â
âIâll ask him tomorrow,â Eddie leans and kisses the top of the boyâs head.Â
âBed now, Iâll come tuck you in, in a minuteâ Eddie smiles until he can no longer see Chris then a heavy sigh is let out. Chris isnât the only one that misses Buck.Â
He did too.Â
Regardless of what had happened, Buck had been his best friend for the last year and a half. The person he confided in, the one who had his back and most importantly, the guy who was basically raising Christopher with him. It had been so hard not being able to talk to him those few weeks that the lawsuit was happening and now that they can talk, he doesnât know what to say.Â
Where do you begin after that ?Â
What you did was fucked up and I hate you but I donât because I actually love you and I need you in my life.Â
Yeah, there was no way he was going to say that to Buck. The thought of Buck was pushed back when Chris shouted that he was waiting. He shook the worry from his face, mustering up a smile as he stepped into Chrisâs room.Â
âAlright kiddo, bedtimeâ Eddie pulls the blanket over his son, sitting on the bed beside him now. Chris looks up at his dad, âare you okay?â
âHm?â Eddieâs brows furrow, unsure as to what brought up the question.
âAre you okay?â he asks his father again.Â
âYeah, why wouldn't I be?â he chuckles, his hand patting Christopherâs leg.Â
âOkayâ Chris smiles at his father, deep down he knew something was wrong and Eddie knew that his son knew that he wasn't okay but there wasn't time for that now. Eddie held himself together, he only had him and he had to be strong.
Eddie kisses Chrisâs cheek, tucking the sides of the blanket in and turning on his night light. âGoodnight budâ he smiles from the doorway, about to shut the door. Chris calls out for his father once more and Eddie sticks his head back into the room, looking at Chris.Â
âI love youâ he says from bed.Â
Eddie smiles, âI love you too.â the door shuts and his smile falls from his face.Â
How much longer would he have to keep up this facade?Â
When and how would they fix things?Â
Because no part of Eddie wants to explain to Christopher why Buck isn't around anymore and honestly, Eddie doesn't want to lose him but he lacked the words to tell him exactly how he felt.
His room feels cold and empty, it usually is but this time feels like the house is running out of happiness and warmth and thereâs nothing he could do to fix it.Â
As he lays on his bed, his phone lights up. A notification from Chim, asking if he could help him move some furniture around. He answers and then he stares at the phone in his hand.Â
âlâll ask him tomorrowâ his words rang in his head. He hits Buckâs contact- what to say and how to say it.Â
To Buck: Are you free Saturday ? Chris wants to see you.Â
Less than a minute goes by before his phone chimes.Â
From Buck: I am. What time is okay for me to come over?
From Buck: Should I bring anything ?Â
To Buck: Iâll drop him off at your place. I have something to do.Â
From Buck: Okay. Is 6 okay ?Â
To Buck: Fine.Â
It was utter bullshit and they both knew that. Eddie had absolute nothing to do, in fact he was probably gonna go back home and hang out. Itâll be weird for him to be there when they arenât speaking, hence why he's taking Chris to Buck and not letting him come to them because if they were at home, there would be nowhere for Eddie to avoid him.Â
----Â
âBuck!â The little boyâs face lights up when he opens the door.Â
âChris!â Buck smiles with the same happy energy. The two of them hugging for a moment before Chris turns to say bye to Eddie.Â
âBe good mijo, I'll be back laterâ Eddie kisses the top of his head before he walks off into the apartment.Â
Buck looked at Eddie, his brows furrowed and he was chewing on his lip without even noticing. âYou- Youâre not coming in?â Buck asks quietly, his words barely coming out.Â
Eddie shakes his head, âgot stuff to do, text me when heâs ready to come home.â he hands Chrisâs backpack over to him and turns the other way and down the hall. Buck steps out of the apartment, in the hallway in front of his door and he just watches Eddie leave. He wanted to run after him and tell him that heâs sorry but he doesnât.Â
The afternoon went by rather quickly, Buck and Chris catching up on what Chris had been doing at school, they began playing the new game Buck had gotten and they had pizza for dinner and ate on the couch while watching the sonic the hedgehog movie because Buck promised him that they would watch together.
Chris sat on the couch, his eyes glued to the tv screen until the end credits began rolling, then he yawns and sinks back into the pillows on Buckâs couch.Â
âTired?â Buck looks over at Chris who gives him a sleepy smile and nods.Â
To Eddie: Chris is falling asleep, I think itâs time for him to get to bed
From Eddie: Ask him if he wants to spend the night. There are clothes in his bag
Buck was taken back by the message, not by Eddie suggesting that Chris spend the night because the 3 of them had sleepovers on a regular basis when he and Eddie were speaking but that Eddie was allowing him to stay. He assumed that because they weren't speaking that Eddie would want Chris to come home.Â
âBud, do you want to stay over? Dad said itâs coolâÂ
âMhm, yeahâ Chrisâs eyes were shut, he was already halfway to dreamland by now. Buck smiled at the boy.Â
To Eddie: He just fell asleep, you can pick him up around noon ?Â
From Eddie: Okay
----Â
Saturday at 11:58am and Buck is dancing around his kitchen with a glass of orange juice in his hand. Chris had slept in and he made him breakfast. Buck was on his way to handing Chris the juice but he got caught up in the song that was playing.Â
Christopher sat at the counter, laughing as Buck danced. Buck was slowly but surely making his way over when there was a knock at the door. He sat the juice beside the plate, pressed a kiss to Chrisâs head and shouted that he was coming when the person knocked a second time.Â
He pulled the door open, Eddie stood at the door with his arms folded.Â
Buck gave him a small smile, âat ease soldierâ he said jokingly, the joke had delivered and failed all in one, the smile on his face dropped too.Â
âIs he ready?â Eddie looked at him, Buck stepped back so Eddie could see in. Chris was still sitting at the counter eating his breakfast, he smiled and waved when he noticed his dad at the door.Â
âDo you want to come in?â Buckâs eyes silently pleading for him to accept the offer.Â
âSureâ the one word was all he got from Eddie for the next 20 minutes.Â
He spoke to Christopher and waited for his son to finish eating so they could leave. The tension in the apartment was heavy and uncomfortable, Eddie egging Chris to finish up every 5 minutes so they could get out of there.Â
Buck had opened his mouth to speak multiple times, at this point there was nothing more that he wanted more than for Eddie to forgive him.Â
The way his heart clenched in his chest whenever he saw Eddie or had to work with him wasn't normal.Â
The way he smiled lovingly and stared adoringly at him wasn't normal either because friends donât look at friends that way.Â
Buck loved Eddie more than the average friend. He didnât know if Eddie reciprocated those feelings but now heâd never know.Â
âBye Buck!â Chrisâs arms wrapped around Buck snapping him out of his thoughts, his hand reaching down to rub his back softly. âBye bud, thanks for hanging out with meâ he smiles sweetly at the boy before looking at his father who was already waiting by the door with his bag.Â
Buck walks Chris over to the door, they share one more hug before he steps out. Once again, Buck finds himself in the hallway wanting to go after them- after Eddie- but itâs like heâs frozen in time, he canât bring himself to move towards them. Christopher smiles and waves before he steps on the elevator and Eddie, he just looks at him. Opening his mouth like he was going to say something but instead a sigh comes out, his gaze lowers and he joins Chris.Â
It was a while before Buck heard from Eddie again. Usually, he would have texted to let him know that they got home and were okay but instead radio silence for the next 6 and a half hours.Â
His phone chimes, rolling over and grabbing it off the table, thereâs a notification from Eddie.Â
To Buck: Thanks for last night, he had a good timeÂ
From Buck: Thanks for bringing him over, I didnât realize how much I missed him
To Buck: He missed you too
Buck was about to type a response when the little grey dots appeared, disappeared and reappeared. He waited, looking down at the phone in his hands watching as the dots appeared and disappeared. At some point, Buck put the phone down, he got tired of waiting.Â
On the other side of the screen, Eddie sat on his couch with the phone in his hand. His last message to Buck telling him that Christopher missed him and he quickly typed out I missed you too but his finger hovered over the send button. Now reaching for the delete key, erasing the message. Eddie tried a few versions of that message.Â
To Buck: I missed you so much you donât even understandÂ
That one didnât sound like him and made him seem desperate.Â
To Buck: Chris wasnât the only one that missed youÂ
What was he trying to do? Flirt with him? well.. maybe but this is not the time.Â
To Buck: Come over, letâs talkÂ
Yeah if letâs talk is code for weâre probably gonna end up in bed.Â
To Buck: I don't know what I want to say but I need you here, things aren't the same without you.Â
This one felt right because it was the truth. Eddie had absolutely no idea what he wanted to say to Buck or if he would even say anything to him but he needed him. Things arenât the same without Buck around, home didnât feel like home without him.Â
Finger hovering over the button but he deletes the message, the phone getting tossed to the other side of the couch before getting up to check on Chris.Â
----
The men find themselves in this situation rather often. Eddie texts Buck asking when Chris can see him, Eddie drops off Chris or sometimes Buck picks him up and then when Chris comes home, Eddie texts Buck to say thanks.
Sometimes Buck is the one watching the little grey dots appear and disappear but sometimes Eddie is the one who finds himself in that spot.Â
It was as if they were two parents sharing joint custody of their son and having that awkwardness of what to say when the kid isn't around and honestly, that was exactly their situation. They played nice and spoke the bare minimum when Chris was around or if Chris had a school event and asked for them both to be there, they would both be there with their best smiles on and they'd make small talk with the other parents but the moment they stepped back out of that building, all of that went out the window.Â
Without Chris around, their conversations were nonexistent.Â
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and they turned into passing ships in the night.Â
---Â
taglist: @mrs-dr-reidâ @yelenabelousâ @ickletheficklepickleâ @dralexreidâ @imaginebuck (cause you wanted some buddie angst)
#eddie diaz#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#christopher diaz#buddie#buddie fic#buddie fanfic#buddie fanfiction#911#911 fic#911 fanfic
55 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Evan âBuckâ Buckley/Eddie Diaz | Rated T | Chapters 1/11 | Posting Every Other DayÂ
When Maddie showed up at the one-eighteen covered in bruises and needing a place to stay, Buck didn't hesitate to let her into his home and the new life he had created in L.A. While he was happy to have his sister back, he was tired of insisting to her that he wasn't as lonely as she accused him of being. So when she assumes he's in some secret relationship with his coworker and best friend, Eddie, Buck decides it couldn't hurt to tell a little white lie, especially when it meant his sister could focus on something that wasn't her own past.
Now Buck is stuck trying to navigate through a ruse of his own creation while dealing with newfound feelings for his best friend that seemed to sneak up on him.
Oh, and did he mention the mysterious accelerant that kept finding itself in his path, putting everyone he loves in danger?
read chapter one on ao3
âIâm just worried about you, Evan,â Maddie sighed into the phone. Buckâs heart did that stupid little stutter directly correlated with disappointing his sister and he held the phone away from his face as if that would lessen the guilt he felt.Â
âMads, Iâmââ
âYouâre not fine.âÂ
Buck sighed. âI wasnât going to say fine. I was going to sayââ Buck thought for a second, but his sister was rightâas she usually wasâand who was he to argue with her? âAlright, I was going to say fine, but itâs because itâs true!â Buck urged, hoping that the more times he said it, the more likely sheâd be to believe it. (Maybe he could convince himself of the fact along the way.)
âItâs been almost two months since Abbyââ
âReally, big sis? You just gotta bring that up?â He complained, groaning more than audibly as he stared up at the firehouse ceiling. He had found in the last few weeks of overtime shifts that counting the tiles and slabs that made up the structure was a great way to pass the time.Â
âYes, little bro, I have to bring it up because Iâmââ
ââWorried about you.â Buck finished the sentence with her and prepared for annoyance or, at the very least, another deep sigh, but instead, she stayed quiet as if giving him the chance to speak up.Â
Another sigh resonated before Maddie said, âYouâre all alone in this big city with no family. You have to understand my worry.âÂ
âI do, I really do, but Iâm finally finding myself here. The 118 has really taken me in as their own; theyâre friends who almost qualify as family at this point!â Buck argued, running a hand through his hair. Maddie couldnât possibly understand what his fellow firefighters had meant to him.Â
âHave you at least started dating yet?â Maddie asked. Buck resisted the urge to hang up on her and took a deep breath as he considered her question. He could tell the truth, which was that he hadnât so much as touched a woman since Abby tore his heart out of his chest and stomped it into the ground.Â
OrâŠ
âIâm dabbling,â he decided to say instead.Â
It wasnât completely a lie. He had decided a few days ago with a lot of pressure from Hen and Karen that he needed to at least attempt to get back out there and downloaded one of the most popular dating apps he could find. He set up his profileâalbeit very scarcelyâand had been waiting for those likes to come in. What he wasnât expecting was almost complete radio silence and for his ego to take a direct hit when Chim got a date within the first hour of downloading it.Â
âAnyone I should know about?â For some reason, Buck wasnât expecting the question. He thought that Maddie would shy away from asking or just be happy that Buck had divulged even just that little bit of information, but no. She just had to put her brother on the spot and have him panicking about what to say.Â
âSoon?â He sputtered, immediately regretting his words the moment Maddieâs small squeal echoed through the speaker.Â
âEvan Buckley, I knew you were keeping something from me the second you said you were fine! You knew that I wouldnât just take that laying down, right? You mustâve!â The happiness in her voice broke Buckâs heart a little further and he couldnât back down; not when her joy was so obvious in her rambling and the way she giggled into the phone.Â
âIâ Itâs really new, Mads,â Buck muttered as he tilted his head to the side and let his phone rest against his cheek.Â
âNew is good and you deserve good, Buck,â Maddie said, the words like a gentle caress to his cheek that he would have leaned into if she was there. As if an idea had just occurred to her, Maddie gasped and said excitedly, âIâm gonna come visit. Iâve gotta meet this family of yours and you canât avoid introducing me to whoever is making your life a little less lonely if I show up at your door.â Buck was annoyed that she had a point, but the prospect of having his sister around after a few years of space had his heart warming in his chest.Â
âYouâre welcome here any time, Mads. Iâve really missedââ
âIâve gotta go,â Maddie said, her voice quieter and a bit more panicked than Buck would ever have wanted to hear. âDoug needs me toâ Well, he just needs me. Will you please stop being such a stranger and let me in on your life from now on, little brother?â Buck rolled his eyes at the term of endearment but agreed easily anyway.Â
âYou know everything there is to know, sis.âÂ
He wished he could be surprised when he got the text a few hours later that a trip to L.A. just wasnât in the cards for her.
----------------------------
The one-eighteen was quietâthough Buck wouldnât dare say the wordâfor the majority of his shift a few days after his call with Maddie, which he was grateful for because Bobby was tabling his famous pasta bar as Buck skipped up the firehouse steps. The rest of the team was already seated in their usual spots and Buck took his next to the newest recruit, Eddie, elbowing his side as he leaned to scoop up the first piece of lasagna.Â
âAy, the rest of us eat first, unless youâre planning on serving me, Diaz,â Buck teased with an over-exaggerated wink.
âYou know I just live to serve you, Buckley,â Eddie shot back easily and Buck couldnât help the laugh that bubbled up inside of him. It had been their thing since the new guy started. Buck would flirt with him until the rest of the team groaned or stopped it and apparently, Hen was at her wits end already if the piece of bread that slammed into Buckâs head was any indication.Â
â Jeez , Hen, weâre just having some fun,â Buck pouted, taking a large bite out of the piece of food that landed on his plate.Â
âDo you always have to flirt with the newbie? Itâs honestly sickening,â Hen complained with a roll of her eyes but Buck knew there was no heat in her words. He realized that look was all too similar to the one his sister would have given him. Buck laughed and tossed a grape tomato in her direction in retaliation.Â
âThereâs no stopping us now,â Buck assured her with a wink. Â
And there really wasnât. Buck and Eddie had been like that since the very beginning, and they only grew more comfortable and in sync in the few months they had spent working together. Eddie had joined the team as an openly gay single dad with no hesitation and Buck had respected that immediately. He was not one to hide his interest in any and all genders, but he wasnât exactly waving a flag when he started at the one-eighteen.Â
There was about a minute of silence when Eddie introduced himself before Buck decided that the best way to smooth him onto the team dynamic was to hit on him. Buck made a ridiculous come-on about a firehose that was brushed aside by the rest of the team, but Eddie laughed and gave it right back. The two had been fast friends ever since, much to the dismay of the rest of their team.Â
âWhatâs everyoneâs plans for the next three days off?â Buck asked as he stacked both his and Eddieâs plates full of food, tossing an untouched piece of bread behind his back that Eddie caught seamlessly just before it landed in his salad dressing.Â
âChristopher and I have a Marvel marathon planned that I couldnât even try to get out of,â Eddie offered, slurping up a spaghetti noodle as Buck sat back down. âWhich reminds me that he wanted me to ask you if you could come?â Eddie asked, peering at Buck out of the corner of his eye. Buck wasnât sure where the sudden shyness had come from, but before he could ask or answer, Bobby was chiming in.Â
âMay and Harry are with Michael so I will be finally showing Athena that my cooking skills are not just for show,â Bobby said with a large smile on his face. Buck liked seeing him like that, unapologetically happy for the new life he was starting.Â
âIâm planning on sleeping until my alarm goes off in three days,â Chim laughed from where he leaned back in his chair. âWhat about you, Buckaroo?âÂ
âWell, I was going to try and find a date because my sister wonât stop bugging me about being single, butâŠâ He trailed off, cupping Eddieâs shoulder tightly in his hand, âI just got an offer Iâd be a fool to refuse.âÂ
Eddie smiled and shrugged off Buckâs touch with a fond roll of his eyes before they focused on his plate. Buck glanced around at his team with an uncontrollable smile on his face as they bantered and laughed and listened intently to whatever story Hen was telling about her son, Denny. He thought back to his conversation with Maddie and how worried she had sounded for him, as if he was alone without Abby.Â
He wasnât. His teamâtheir laughter and camaraderie, their friendship and love, their shared stories and experienceâwas everything he needed.
----------------------------
Buck was stuck with the dishes once the table was cleared, but he didnât mind. He liked to get lost in the mundane task of scrubbing and cleaning, the clanging of the dishes a friendly reminder that he had spent much-needed bonding time with his team. Plus, doing the dishes meant he got to decide where they would go out after their shift and he had the best places in mind.Â
âMaâam, are you okay?â Buck heard Chimâs voice softer than he expected from the second-floor terrace.Â
âIâmâ Thatâs just the question of the day, isnât it?â Buckâs heart dropped as he recognized the all too familiar voice and before he could think twice, his legs were bringing him down the stairs in a sprint. âIâm looking forââ
âMaddie?â Buck asked. When she turned, he caught sight of the bruises littering her face and peaking out from underneath the collar of her shirt. The long sleeves did nothing to hide the darkness around her wrists and she didnât even try to cover up the gashes on her cheek and lip.
âHey, Evan,â she said weakly, a forced smile tugging at her lips. Buck had her in his arms before her legs could fully give out and he held her tightly to his chest, careful of the soreness he knew was probably hidden underneath her clothes.Â
âHey, hey, I got you. I got you, youâre okay,â Buck whispered into her hair as she sobbed, nails clawing at his back that probably would have hurt if he wasnât so focused on providing his sister comfort. He caught Chimâs eyes over her shoulder, EMT bag in hand, and shook his head, searching the room for Hen. Chim seemed to understand exactly what he was doing and ran to the back where Buck was pretty sure Hen was resting.Â
âI didnât know where else to go,â Maddie choked out as she tried to pull away. Buck wouldnât let her, though, as he threaded his fingers through her hair and kissed her temple softly.Â
âHere is perfect, okay? Donât worry about it,â Buck reassured. He wasnât sure exactly what to say to her. He had known her relationship with Doug wasnât the best and there was no doubt in his mind that that monster had hurt her. The way her body trembled and her voice shook had Buck feeling uneasy himself as he led her to one of the more comfortable couches in the station.Â
âHey, sweetie, Iâm Hen. Youâre Buckâs sister? Maddie?â Hen said as she approached, carefully as if walking up to an easily spooked animal. Buck appreciated it as much as it hurt him to see.Â
âThatâs me, the overbearing big sister,â Maddie attempted to joke, but it fell flat to everyone that had gathered around except for Buck.Â
âI donât think I ever used the word âoverbearingâ specifically. Maybe persistent, annoying was probably dropped in there a time or two,â Buck teased. He was too grateful when Maddieâs hand came up to swat his shoulder to focus on the wince on her face at the movement.Â
âShe canât be worse than you, Buckaroo,â Chim chimed in from where he stood a few feet away, flanked by Bobby and Eddie, who Buck noted was paying closer attention to where he kneeled beside his sister than he was at Maddie like everyone else.Â
âI promise Iâm not,â Maddie said weakly. Buck held onto her hand delicately as Hen settled beside her, the EMT bag on her lap.Â
âAny family of Buckâs is family of ours,â Bobby stated, nodding at Hen as if giving her the okay to fully check up on her.Â
âHeâs told me a lot about you guys, his family away from family. Iââ Maddieâs breath hitched as Hen pressed her thumbs over the bruises along her collarbones and she pressed her lips together to compose herself before she continued. âIâm sorry for barging in this way, looking likeââ
ââLike a Buckley?â Eddie offered, easing the bit of tension of what wasnât being said in the room. Buck sent him a thankful nod as he squeezed his sisterâs hand. âWeâve heard yâall are prone to accidents. The number of times Iâve had to patch up this one on company time is too many and counting.â Buck laughed and tossed a friendly finger in Eddieâs direction, smiling when Maddie seemed to relax at the banter.Â
âThis one is always tossing himself into the fire quite literally, huh?â Maddie asked. Buck could tell she was relieved to have the conversation moved away from her and he didnât mind being the target for her benefit.Â
âIâve only been here for a few months, but Iâm pretty sure Buck would put anyone before himself.â Eddieâs voice was a lot closer than Buck had expected and he didnât realize how much tension was building up inside of him until Eddieâs hand landed in between his shoulder blades. He glanced up to catch his friendâs eye, smiling softly at the steady and comforting press on his back.Â
âYeah, thatâs exactly who he is,â Maddie muttered. When Buck glanced up at her, her eyes were narrowed and darted back and forth between him and Eddie accusatorily. That was not good . Buck cleared his throat.
âCan you guys give us a minute?â Buck asked.
Eddie ran his hand up to Buckâs shoulder, squeezing gently and Buck couldnât resist reaching up to let his palm brush over the back of Eddieâs hand, letting him know how much the gesture was appreciated. Bobby and Chim hesitantly nodded in response before they all disappeared, leaving an even more tense Maddie and nerve-filled Buck alone with Hen who was treating the cut on Maddieâs cheek.Â
As if scared for Buck to ask, Maddie offered, âIt had been a few months, Buck. I thoughtâ I really thought he had changed.â Buck sighed and rested his forehead on Maddieâs knee, relaxing only marginally when Maddieâs hand patted the back of his head.Â
âWhat was it this time? Did you argue with him a little too hard? Maybe you didnât reach the level of perfection he always required of you?âÂ
âBuckââ Hen warned, shooting a look that could kill in Buckâs direction.Â
âNo, itâsâ Itâs okay. Heâs right either way,â Maddie relented with a deep sigh. âIt had been building since I said I wanted to visit you in L.A. I told him that you had alluded to seeing someone and that I wanted to see if it was true. He said I couldnât go, that he was the only family I needed, and when I argued against thatâŠâ Maddie trailed off, gesturing to her face and that was enough for Buck to put together what happened next.Â
âHe did this because of me?â Buckâs voice shook as he glanced back at his sister, reaching a hand up to stroke a finger over the dark bruise on her jaw. Maddie grabbed it and turned toward her brother, leveling their eyes together with a protectiveness in them that provided him the calm he needed.Â
âThis was not your fault, Evan,â Maddie said sternly.Â
âItâs neither of your faults,â Hen added, resting her palm on Maddieâs arm softly. Maddie nodded and smiled at Hen as brightly as she could given the circumstances.Â
âSheâs right and I came here because I canât have this happen anymore,â Maddie stated, holding onto Buckâs hand a little tighter. âYou mentioned your captainâs girlfriend was a cop?âÂ
Buck nodded and wrapped his arms around his sister, wishing he had never let go in the first place.
----------------------------
Athena had arrived at the station quicker than Buck had expected her to. Upon seeing him, she pulled him into a tight hug that he didnât realize he had needed so much before disappearing into Bobbyâs empty office with Maddie. He didnât trust just anyone with his sister, but the second the door shut, he felt like he could finally take a breath.Â
He was flanked by both Hen and Eddie in a flash while Chim paced in front of them, chewing on a piece of beef jerky to stay occupied. Bobby watched from above, silently observing his team, and looking ready to step in if Buck needed it. They were all there for him and when the door finally opened after what felt like hours later, the smile that tugged at the corner of Maddieâs lips told Buck she had seen just that.Â
âAgain, Iâm really sorry forââ Athena shook her head and pointed a finger at Maddie, effectively stopping her unneeded apology.Â
âYouâll only have to be sorry if you donât let this one take care of you the way you deserve,â she said, raising her eyebrows like a challenge. Maddie pressed her lips together and nodded bashfully as she leaned into the arm Buck had thrown around her neck.Â
âBuck, shiftâs just about over. Why donât you show your sister where sheâll be staying?â Bobby said. It was an order as much as a suggestion but Buck was going to take him up on it either way.Â
âYeah, that sounds great. Let me know if you need me to come back in.â Bobby silenced him with one look.
âWe can survive the next hour without you, man,â Eddie chimed in. He walked over and pulled Buck into a one-armed hug as if he knew nothing could pry him away from his sister. Buck was grateful for the extra warmth Eddie provided him, either way.
âIf you guys need anything, you know where weâll be,â Hen assured, rubbing a gentle palm down Maddieâs arm until their hands were connected. Maddie squeezed it tightly and mouthed her thanks at Hen who brushed it off with a wave of her hand.Â
âI canât thank you guys enough,â Buck began, but he stopped himself from saying any more before any of his team could argue. âIâll see you in a few days?â He asked, directing his attention to Bobby so he could let his captain know that his sister arriving wouldnât impact his work. As if he already knew, Bobby nodded and wrapped an arm around Athenaâs waist.Â
âWeâll probably see you before then,â Bobby offered with a slight wink and Buck laughed.Â
âYou guys sure I can steal my little brother away early?â Maddie asked nervously.Â
âNow that youâve teased us with him leaving, you canât take it back,â Eddie said from beside Buck. They both had to laugh and Buck punched Eddieâs arm in retaliation only for Eddie to grab onto his hand tightly, not letting him pull away yet. His voice was low as he muttered, âYouâll let me know if you need anything?âÂ
It was meant to be a question, but Buck knew it wasnât. Everyone around them was so focused on Maddie and her injuriesâwhich Buck couldnât blame them forâthat none of them really stopped to think how tough the next few days may be for the Buckleyâs as a whole. But not Eddie. Just one glance from his friend told Buck that Eddie was well aware of the toll this might take on Buckâs good-natured mind and that Eddie was going to be there through it all.Â
âYeah,â Buck confirmed, resting a hand on Eddieâs neck in a friendly gesture of comfort, âIâll call you.â
----------------------------
âIâm not going back there,â Maddie said the minute the door to Buckâs apartment shut.Â
âI know youâre not,â Buck agreed because even if she hadnât made the choice herself, he wasnât going to see his big sister hurt like that again.Â
âI grabbed what I could before I left and itâs going to take me a little while to get back on my feet, butââ
âHey,â Buck said gently, wrapping his arms around his sister once more, âweâre gonna figure this out. Itâs always been just the two of us, right? Sure, a few years have gone by, but youâre still the most important person in the world to me and weâre going to figure this out.â He repeated, believing the words so fully that Maddie must have, too. Her shoulders slumped in either relaxation or defeat, Buck couldnât be sure which, and she pulled away enough for Buck to press a soft kiss to her forehead.Â
âCan I stay here for a little? Just untilââ
âMaddie, stop. Youâre staying here whether you like it or not,â Buck said with a laugh, ruffling her hair in his hand before she could swat him away.Â
âI just donât want to impose on any guests you might have around,â Maddie said, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing around his apartment as if looking for signs of additional life.Â
Buck sighed, âGo take a shower while I make up some dinner.â Maddieâs laugh was so refreshing, the tension of the last few hours seemed to fall right off of his shoulders.Â
When he heard the water turn on, he busied himself with finding dinner even though he was still full from the large lunch at the station. He wasnât sure when the last time Maddie had eaten was but her skin was too pale even through the bruises for him not to offer her something good. He rummaged through his cabinets for way too long, losing track of time as he listened to Maddieâs voice stop and start in the shower.Â
He used to love listening to her sing. She had always been carefree and beautiful and that was always something he admired. He could hear the hesitance in her voice as she weakly sang through the chorus of one of her favorite country songs and wished he could heal whatever it was inside that had her balking. Buck loved her more than anything in the world.
With a deep breath, he reminded himself that she had made that first step, the one he had wanted her to so many years before. He smiled to himself, grateful that she made it back to him mostly in one piece. Even though she didnât have that fire in her eyes that he remembered, he knew that her deciding to come home to him was the spark she needed to light it back up.Â
A knock at the door had him cursing because the water had shut off and he still didnât have dinner on the table. When he opened the door and saw Eddie, two pizza boxes in hand, he thought he might cry.Â
âI figured you usually go grocery shopping with Chris and I and weâre running low on food for two soââ Buck interrupted him by wrapping him another suffocatingly tight hug.Â
âMan, you could not have arrived at a better fucking time,â Buck sighed with relief. âI canât believe you did this for her,â he muttered mostly to himself. Eddie opened his mouth, but before he could respond, Maddie trotted down the stairs, patting her hair down with a towel.Â
âEddie, right?â She asked, a twinkle in her eye that Buck wasnât too fond of given the situation. âDid you bring us dinner?âÂ
Eddie nodded and mumbled, âYeah, for, uh, you actually.â Buck took the pizza boxes from his hands and Eddie immediately ran his fingers through the hair on the back of his neck as if suddenly bashful. Buck thought he looked more adorable than usual but brushed it aside.Â
âThat is so sweet of you,â Maddie said, knocking her hip against Buckâs. âIsnât that so sweet of him, Evan?â Eddie snickered and Buck knew it was because of the use of his first name. He shot an unimpressed glance at Eddie who pressed his lips together in return as if holding back more laughter.Â
âEddieâs just a regular old saint if you ask anyone,â Buck explained with much more sarcasm in his voice than he really intended. Maddie didnât seem to notice as she smiled up at Eddie.Â
âAre you staying for dinner? Iâm sure Buck would appreciate the company,â Maddie said happily, side-eyeing Buck as if heâd even thought to go against her words.Â
âOh, no, I gotta get back to my kid,â Eddie said, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder. Buck knew Christopher wasnât with him or else he would have asked them both to come inside.Â
âYou have a kid?â Maddie asked, mouth agape for reasons Buck didnât know but would definitely ask her about later.Â
âYeah, Christopher. Heâsââ
ââThe best kid in the entire world,â Buck interrupted, turning to his sister. âMaddie, this kid is a spitfire and heâs got jokes and comebacks for everything, I swear! And heâs like the smartest 8-year-old Iâve ever met, not that Iâve hung out with many 8-year-olds, but still. Youâre gonna love him!â Buck decided. He must have been rambling as both his sister and Eddie were staring over at him with amused looks on their faces. ââŠWhat?âÂ
âI mean, I was just gonna tell her his age, but I guess all that stuff is true, too,â Eddie teased. He flinched when Buck swatted at him with the hand that wasnât holding the pizza.Â
âHe sounds incredible. I hope I get to meet him?â Maddie asked. Buck nodded quickly and a smile Buck wasnât sure he had ever seen before tugged at the corner of Eddieâs lips. Buck was just about to offer for them to come over the following night when he remembered what he had already agreed to.Â
âOh, crap. The Marvel movie night!â Buck exclaimed as he finally set the pizzas down on the side table. âDid you already tell Chris I was gonna join?âÂ
âYeah, but itâs totally fine. Iâm sure heâll understand that your sister is here andââ
âNonsense! You promised that kid a movie night, heâs gonna get a movie night!â Maddie shouted as she opened up the pizza box and helped herself to a slice. Buck was glad she seemed to still have the appetite he remembered. âI donât mind having a night to myself. Itâs been too long since Iâve been able to just cry over a sad Hallmark movie with a glass of wine, you know?â Buck didnât, but he also really wanted to hang out with the Diazes.Â
âWe can always reschedule. Marvel isnât going anywhere,â Eddie offered, but Maddie just shook her head and slapped Buckâs arm like it was his job to convince Eddie he would be a fool to do that.Â
âIâll be over tomorrow at five with sandwiches to pay you back for tonight, okay?â Buck said softly, holding Eddieâs bicep in his palm. A blush covered his face and Buck wasnât sure why he was being so nervous all of a sudden; they bantered and touched like that all the time.Â
âYeah, okay. Maddie, thank you for letting me steal him and enjoy the pizza. Buck, Iâll, uh, see you tomorrow.â He waved as he backed away and Buck watched as he jumped into his car and drove off.Â
Once the door was shut, Maddie smacked him on the arm and Buck recoiled, sending a confused glance at his sister.Â
âWhat the hell was that for?â Buck asked, rubbing his skin even though it really didnât hurt that bad.Â
âI canât believe you didnât tell me you were dating a coworker !â Maddie shouted, gaping at Buck with joy in her eyes that he had missed more than he realized. He was so focused on her happiness, it took him more than a few reasonable moments to realize what she had said.Â
âIâmâ Wait, what?â Buck asked, pausing mid-bite on the piece of the pepper and sausage pizza he made a mental reminder to thank Eddie for tomorrow.Â
âEddie?!â Maddie repeated in a squeal. âI knew after our conversation that whoever you were dating wasnât just any old person, but another firefighter? A male firefighter at that? No wonder you didnât want to tell me yet!â Buck blanched and finished chewing his pizza carefully so as to not choke.Â
âMaddie, I mean this with no malice and all confusion; what the absolute fuck are you talking about?â Maddie scoffed and grabbed the pizza boxes, wandering to the living room and placing them on the coffee table. She made her way into the kitchen to grab two beers from the fridge before settling down next to Buck who had to sit on the couch and think before he fell over.Â
âOh, you cannot even pretend that you guys arenât head over heels for each other. The hand on your back at the station? The side hug? Bringing you pizza after a rough day? The blushing?!â Maddie raised her eyebrows at Buck and he honestly didnât know how to respond.Â
He should have said it was nothing. He should have said they were the only two openly not-straight men that he knew of who worked at the LAFD and were closer because of that. He should have said that they were just friends who put their lives at risk for each other every day so their relationship was bound to be special. He should have said all of that.Â
But Maddie looked so happy and carefree so instead, he lied.Â
âItâs⊠really new,â he said, echoing the words he had told her before she came to L.A. Her squeal of delight was enough for any regret he might have had to wash away and for his heart to soar that he could put that bright smile back on his sisterâs face.Â
âEvan Buckley, you have to tell me everything !â Maddie crossed her legs on the couch and settled back against the cushions, making herself comfortable in the place Buck had started to call home. Even with the bruises and cuts littering her face, she looked at ease, and Buck smiled over at her widely.Â
âThereâs nothing to tell, Mads. He started at the station a few months ago and we just⊠hit it off. Like I said, itâs new and heâs⊠good.â He wasnât sure why he had hesitated but he hoped she didnât read too much into it. When she rested a gentle hand on his bicep and squeezed, he knew she had believed every word of what he had said. The fact it wasnât a total lie was the only reason he didnât let his guilt build up too much just yet.Â
âIâm really proud of you, you know?â Maddie said softly, moving her hand up to cup the side of his face and brush her thumb along his cheekbone. He melted into the touch and closed his eyes, the words resonating through him as the ones he always longed to hear.Â
âWhat for?â Buck asked.Â
Maddie sighed and said, âFor being you.â She tapped his nose with the tip of her finger before she added, âNow tell me all about him!â
#buddie#buddie fic#911 on fox#911 fic#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#my writing#tiwistb fic#chapter one yall omfg#i cant beleive it!!#aklsjdfkl;ajsdl;f#evan buckley#eddie diaz
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
9-1-1 4x01 random thoughts:
obviously there are spoilers under cut,for this and possibly future episodes so enter at your own risk.
* This show is like an excellent disaster movie but on a smaller scale-as a fan of all disaster movies ever I enjoyed the dam break way too much.And then there was the whole bus crash thing?NICE.And now there is a mudslide taking out the Hollywood sign?CAN IT BE NEXT WEEK ALREADY lol
* On a more serious note:brave Athena,who is still terrified of being out there is now trapped in that house?!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH.Bobby almost getting blown up and giving me and Buck a small heart attack?AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
* May the dispatcher: makes sense to take a gap year during the pandemic.Also from what I remember Athena and Michael weren't ecrazy happy about May's bf taking a gap year,so I am not expecting them to be thrilled about May doing it too and working a hella stressful job. Another thing that makes sense-Harry staying with Michael,if Michael works from home and can take care of him. Athena did say Harry went to live with his dad after quarantine right? Anyways way to go Michael scoring a hot doctor bf and already living with him!Thumbs up,seriously.
* Living arrangements.You know what I NEVER expected? Is for Maddie to live wih Albert.Like anything else wouldn't surprise me at all-but Chim bunking with Buck while Maddie lives with Albert? That was unexpected af. From spoilers we know that Chim has some kind of communication problems with Maddie and has no idea how to talk to her or something,so I am sure we will get more about that later and at some point he and Maddie will reunite.Other than that? Mango Han-Buckley is a good name for a kid lol
* Buck's mystery woman/covid crush-meh.'It's not like that with us' 'She is just a woman you talk to for hours at time'...I am sure its gonna be a big reveal but I am def not thinking about a girlfriend. Why all the secrecy? I mean I can def understand having an online crush/fckbuddy/friend with benefits you won't tell your friends about-but I highly doubt this is about sex or anything romantic.So I am very curious and fandom's therapist theory absolutely makes sense to me. But maybe just a support buddy? Tho therapist more likely.
* "Eddie and Hen went back to their kids months ago.You're the only one still going all World War Z." - are you saying that Eddie and Hen an d Chim all lived together with Buck during the first wave/quarantine? Because if you do I need flashbacks from that!!!! Also barely any Hen or Eddie in this episode and that's meh too.
* Let me talk about Eddie for a minute or two-HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL?!!!! I dunno about you ppl but for months I was wondering how he is gonna look like in S4 because Eddie changed his looks a few times by now and its an important issue when you're me ok? Also they treated Eddie/Ryan like he doesn't exist so we barely got any pics and finally we got to see him in all glory and he is BEAUTIFUL.And I was just sitting there,staring at him with hearts in my eyes...you know for these few short scenes he was in?I need more Eddie next time please.I very much enjoyed him being pretty and a competent badass firefighter,but I just need more!
* I believe that the reason we didn't get enough Hen or Eddie is because there was more focus on Athena and Maddie,but during next episodes we'll def get more of them since 911 will get divided and hopefully weâll get more info about their quarantine situations away from kids. And of course we know that Hen Eddie and Buck go to Texas soon so we'll get more of them later.
* buddie-two lovely scenes and I just really love watching them work together?They're an excellent team and also I have a competence kink so.....;P
* covid stuff-I think they handled it very well and wrote Janell's backstory perfectly to showcase how horrid pandemic was/is but in few short scenes.I am glad they set S4 in September,we already lived through the scariest times and were indeed getting used to new abnormal. Some of us were already dealing with second wave and another lockdown  so it kinda feels like the right time.
Anyways good solid episode now gimme 402 asap I am  ready :D
#i finally watched the episode#it was torture waiting all day for it too#def reminded me of black sails s4 times when i had to wait all day#while everyone were losing their minds lol#but its cool this is fun#so here be just a few random observations nothing serious#911#911 spoilers
10 notes
·
View notes