#less about the getting together and more about the character study of eddie if they decided to go through with the gay route

[dreamwatch]

Echoes and Silence, Patience and Grace

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest

Day #4 - Prompt: Eddie | Word Count: 997 | Rating: T | CW: mention of abusive parent, mention of death of a parent, language | POV: Eddie | Tags: Angst with a happy ending, rock star Eddie Munson, Introspective Eddie Munson, character study | AO3

****

It’s an odd thing, to be moulded by hate. To know that the person you are now has been shaped by anger where most are shaped by love.

He doesn’t think about it a lot, dwelling on old hurts does no one any good according to Uncle Wayne, but it hits him like a sudden gust of wind the moment he passes the Welcome To Hawkins sign. 

He does this once a year if he can, though sometimes less if he’s touring. When he first started coming back, Wayne was still here in that shitty trailer the government gave him to replace the other shitty trailer they destroyed. They were blink and you’ll miss him visits, in at the ass crack of dawn to have breakfast with his uncle, then a quick drive through town before getting the fuck out. People still looked at him like shit. Resentment and hatred, squeezing him, making him all hard edges and sharp words, compressing him until he had to leave. Steve says it made a diamond out of him. But Steve’s a romantic fucker so it doesn’t count.

The hate was there long before poor Chrissy Cunningham died in his trailer. It’s not hard to pinpoint the moment everything changed. His mother’s death was like a finger snap; his life has been a collection of before and afters, but this was the first. A happy family broken down to a sad man who couldn’t care for his child, and a little boy who had to grieve for both of his parents, the living and the dead.

His mother worked in Melvalds until a few months before she died. Joyce Byers got the job she left behind. Maybe that’s why she turned a blind eye to him stealing when he was a kid. Melvalds is gone now, a deli touting organic produce in it’s place. He takes a picture on his phone to send back to Steve so they can laugh about it later. Steve doesn’t come with him on these trips; they’re not out and the less they’re seen together in certain places the better. Though they’ve been talking about it lately, since Halford came out. Maybe one day.

He doesn’t really know why he keeps coming back. It feels more like duty at this point. He doesn’t really remember his mother anymore. Just the memory of the memory, the idea of her. 

He swings his rental car past the high school, the bane of his existence for six fucking years, and all for nought. There are happy memories here, though they’re few and far between. Nights playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends, preaching his sermons from the dining room tables. An awkward audition that changed his life forever. 

Maybe he comes back to try and remind himself of the time before the hate. Before life became painful in an ever increasing number of ways. Before his mother left him in the care of a man that became an abusive bully. (He doesn’t see it as abuse, never really has. Just his dad being his dad and Eddie being Eddie and the two of them rubbing each other the wrong way. But he had a therapist for a while in LA when things were going to shit and they kept calling it abuse, and well, it stuck. He’s a whole new man.)

Then there was that last day of his academic career, a meeting with Chrissy Cunningham that upended his life and nearly killed him. And that was difficult in so many ways, but maybe the hardest was the hatred, the sheer overwhelming amount of it coming from everywhere. From the people of Hawkins, from Chrissy and Jason’s friends, from the police who never really did buy the stories. That was the hate on the outside.

But then there was the hate on the inside. The black hole of self-loathing for being such a fucking loser that he was dealing drugs to kids, despising himself for spending three years of his life as a high school senior, and even then never graduating; he should have been long gone way before Vecna got his claws into Chrissy.

And then, and god help him for this, the hate for Chrissy.

Because as much as he was ashamed of it, he did hate her for a while; it was her fault, right? She came to him, she dragged him into this. If she had never put that note in his locker it would never have happened. He’d have scraped his passing grade and got the fuck out of Hawkins. 

He’s long past that now, though.

He picks up flowers from the little shop on Main Street. The owner knows him now, she arrranges flowers over the phone when he can’t be there, even takes them out to the cemetery for him. Perks of being a rock star.

No one bothers him when he’s here. The odd person side eyes him but probably because they don’t recognise him. Small towns and their strangers, a hate hate relationship. He’s been spotted a few times over the years, the odd photograph and a signature. Something he’s usually okay with, but not here. But it’s not worth the blow up so he smiles, and chats and signs, and then he gets back to his business. 

He stops at Chrissy’s grave first, places the bouquet, says sorry, though he’s never been sure what he’s sorry for, and then he heads up the hill to his mom. He spends more time with her, though he doesn’t talk anymore. He’s in his forties now. He wonders what she would look like, would she be proud of him, but he doesn’t say it out loud anymore. There’s no point.

As he heads out of the cemetery he turns his phone back on; messages from Wayne and Steve start to come through. Checking if he’s okay. Loving him.

So yeah, he was moulded by hate, but you can break moulds, right? 

[steventhusiast]

once again so late to the party i've practically missed it BUT it's @steddiemicrofic time yayyyy i did it JUST in time

prompt: suck | wc: 480 | rated: G | cw: none | tags: steve trying to learn dnd for dustin, questionable study methods

-

Steve feels like his brain is melting as he stares at the multiple books open on the table. The words are blending together at this point, and he looks up from the page about DnD races up to Eddie's hopeful face.

"I'm never gonna get this, Eddie." He sighs, and puts his head in his hands so he doesn't have to look at the words anymore.

"Babe," Eddie starts with a chuckle, and Steve hears him walk closer and then feels hands on his shoulders. They rub comfortingly before Eddie continues, "I don't even know why you're trying so hard to do this."

Steve whines into his hands as he thinks about the reason. Dustin has wanted Steve to join in on DnD sessions for a long time now, and for his birthday Eddie's running a surprise oneshot session with the entirety of Hellfire going through a campaign that Dustin's been raving about for ages. Steve just wants to be included in that if he can, but he didn't realise how much math and creativity it takes even to just create a character. Let alone play the actual game.

"I wanted to surprise Dustin. But I suck so much at this that he might just end up disappointed." Steve's voice is muffled against his palms as he speaks.

Eddie giggles again, and Steve feels as he leans down to rest his chin atop his head.

"You're so dramatic. Dustin'll be pumped you even tried and you know that." He insists, and Steve finally moves from the safety of his hands to look down at the books.

"Wonder who I get the dramatics from." He says in a mutter, and Eddie lets out a thoughtful hum at the word 'dramatics'.

Eddie presses a kiss to his hair and then gets up.

"No more of this!" He proclaims, and starts dramatically pulling Steve up from his chair by the shoulder, "I cannot let my beloved be sad any longer. We must find another way to teach you these things!"

Steve lets himself be pulled over to the couch, and Eddie sits cross-legged sideways on the couch, patting the space in front of him with a smile. Steve sits in a way that mirrors him, and looks at him suspiciously.

"What's this?"

Eddie ignores him.

"What's the only way you successfully studied in high school?" Eddie asks with a grin, and Steve frowns.

"Flashcards and little rewards for myself. You know this." Eddie's grin gets wider at Steve's words.

"Exactly. I'm going to quiz you on a DnD race, and if you get it right, you get a little kiss!"

He sounds so excited that a smile creeps up on Steve, and he nods slowly.

"I would never turn down a chance to kiss you."

Unsurprisingly, Steve only learns a little quicker with their new method. But it's less painful. So, worth it.

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 9

Chapter 9 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, the 118 gets closer through a car accident and a plane crash, while the little family unit Buck has with Chris and Eddie also remains. However, it’s all still on unstable ground, impermanent.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slow burn)

Warnings: internalized misogyny, injury, minor character death mention, addiction mention, referenced sexual assault (vague)

~~~

Chapter 9: Almost a Family

Buck is at the station when he is called again by a number he saved as Abby 911. When she called the first time, it felt nice. Someone checking in on him, giving him some advice, some reassurance, making him feel less like a failure.

However, as he watches the phone ring now, his stomach is filled with nothing but dread.

She got his number from the file. She saw him on the news. She sought him out and called him and is now calling him again. She probably wants something from him.

Maybe if Eddie hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have had the stupid crush – or deep love but who’s counting – and he wouldn’t have thought about what Dr. Wells did. Maybe he wouldn’t have noticed without Eddie pointing it out. Maybe he would be lonely now and flattered by someone liking him enough to seek him out. Maybe then he would have liked to be called again

But he doesn’t. None of that happened. Instead he’s here and the thought of answering that phone makes him a little nauseous. So, he hangs up the call without picking up, then blocks her number, trying not to feel rude about it. Buck isn’t ready to be back in the dating game. Or the sleeping with people game.

Instead, he tries to focus on his friendships, because he does have a lot of good friendships even if he wishes one of them would be a romance. And one day that non-romance will disappear, so he should cling to what he has, make a proper family out of the 118, so he won’t be alone when he gets left behind again.

And the others reach back. It’s not how Buck would’ve wanted it to happen, because it starts with Chimney getting a piece of rebar stuck through his head. It’s harrowing to see one of their own like that and he doesn’t even feel the usual mixture of butterflies and guilt when he crushes Eddie in a hug when he gets home, just needing his friend to be close.

Waiting for Chimney to wake up is the worst. They’re all climbing the walls and Buck is sure Hen is annoying Karen as much with her worrying as he does Eddie. He is glad to get a call so he can let the nervous energy out, even if he hates people being in danger.

When they get there and get the truck open, the relief to be doing something, anything, dissipates immediately. The truck is filled with immigrants, all in need of medical attention due to the conditions.

Buck and Hen work together to bring a kid back. As he does chest compressions all he can think is how this kid is about Chris’s age. How easily it could have been Chris there. He’s pretty sure Hen is thinking of Denny too.

He talks to their patient and his parents in Spanish, encouraging the boy to wake up, to breathe, then assuring the parents that he’s alive, that he’s okay when they finally get him back.

“I didn’t know you spoke Spanish,” Hen comments when the boy is in the ambulance.

“Lived in Texas before this, picked somethings up,” Buck tells her, because it’s close to the truth anyway. Eddie wants Chris to speak Spanish, so Buck has been trying to learn more right alongside the boy – who is more skilled at the language – Helena and Ramon didn’t care much about him learning, but Abuela and Pepa have taken to trying to teach him, refusing to speak English with him from time to time so he can learn.

“Aren’t you from Pennsylvania?” Hen frowns.

“Yeah, but I traveled. Lived in Peru too, was a bartender there,” Buck smiles.

“Okay,” Hen says after a moment, studying him. It’s as if she is still processing that he can do that and he rolls his eyes slightly.

He knows he doesn’t look it, but he can’t help but be slightly annoyed that his frat boy exterior prevents them from thinking he can’t have his intelligent moments. Sulkily, he thinks, if I took Eddie’s last name, they wouldn’t be so surprised. Before his face becomes beet red at the thought of having Eddie’s last name.

Fortunately, Hen is distracted by arresting the driver after spotting him, so she doesn’t notice his flushed look or thinks to ask more about his Spanish speaking skills.

They’re all relieved when Chimney wakes up that evening. When he seems to understand them and is capable of reacting to their input. It can still go horribly, horribly wrong, but there are positive signs. They need positive signs.

However, they find out the hard way that positive signs doesn’t mean the positivity will last. A plane crashes and Bobby almost gets himself killed to rescue a mom.

Buck gets it, he would die a hundred painful deaths if it meant Chris got out of a situation like that alive. But he also would want someone to fight for him, to fight so he wouldn’t have to abandon Chris, not leave him behind like Shannon had.

Still, he selfishly doesn’t want Bobby to die for her either. Doesn’t want someone he cares about to die, not when he can help. Doesn’t want to be abandoned himself either. So, he helps and together they do one of the most hair brained rescues that Bobby would have never signed off on, if Buck had suggested it under any other circumstance.

These big casualty events always make him want to call Eddie to check up on him and Chris, but he can’t yet. They still have work to do, this call isn’t over yet. So, he’s checking people’s vitals with wet shivering hands, ignoring the way his waterlogged uniform clings to him.

He’s not the only who’s out of it, when they’re finally relieved, the atmosphere in the engine is subdued. Bobby seems to be off in another world with how deep in thought he is and Hen is quietly calling her wife.

Buck wants to call Eddie, wants to hear him be okay and talk to Chris for a bit. But it’s late and unlike Karen, Eddie didn’t marry him out of love. He has no right calling Eddie awake and wanting him to wake up Chris, just for him. So, he just sits there and wraps the blanket that Hen shoved into his hands when she saw him shivering a little tighter around himself.

When they get back to the station, his phone rings, Eddie’s contact lighting up the screen. The others are trudging off to the locker rooms so Buck doesn’t waste a moment fumbling with his numb fingers to pick up. “Eddie? Are you okay?”

“Am I okay? What about are you okay?” Eddie replies, sounding stressed. “I saw your unit on the TV at the crash and then I didn’t hear anything from you.”

Oh, Eddie has been worrying about him. The thought makes something warm bloom in his chest, he never considered the feeling around these kind of accidents would be mutual. The worry makes him feel loved and he smiles: “I’m sorry, Eds. Didn’t wanna wake you or Chris.”

“Well, that- that’s nice, but wake me up next time, alright?” Eddie says. “And you didn’t answer my question, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Little wet and a little cold, but fine,” Buck promises. He’s shaken up slightly and he’s exhausted to all hell, but those are details.

“Stay there, I’m picking you up.”

“No, Eddie, you don’t-”

“Buck, you’re in no condition to drive.”

“You don’t know that,” Buck pouts.

“I do know that. You’re a stubborn shit and your definition of ‘fine’ and ‘little’ are off, so you’re gonna stay there and let me pick you up,” Eddie says forcefully.

Even if the context is off, Buck’s inside flutter at Eddie telling him he’ll pick him up. However, he is used to that feeling when around Eddie.

It’s been months since he realized he’s in love with his best friend and he’s learned to live with it. It’s a pleasant background feeling that sometimes pokes through the surface, making him painfully aware of it, but most of the time it’s just there.

Right now, he mostly feels fond affection and the fuzzy feeling of being cared for. Even without the romantic aspects of his feelings, he and Eddie are closer friends than average and he cares deeply about him. So, he lets Eddie care for him in turn too, smiling as he gives. “Alright, I’ll wait.”

They hang up and Buck goes to move to the shower, wanting to get that over with so he can crawl into his bed as soon as possible when he gets home. Maybe he can even nap in the car.

He runs into Hen on his way there, who is already dressed. When she spots him in his still wet clothes, she frowns: “Are you okay, Buck?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he smiles tiredly. It’s even true after his call with Eddie. “Just called for a ride, my arms feel like they’re going to fall off.”

“I hear you, I’m gonna sleep so hard when I get home,” Hen smiles back. “Want me to wait on your ride with you?”

Again affection blooms in his chest at the offer. The 118 truly is a family sometimes and Buck has been brought into the fold entirely with little moments like these showing how much they care, how much they all care.

Despite that fondness, he finds himself shaking his head: “Nah, I’m gonna shower real quick, ride should be here by then. Besides, you had a long day too. Go home to your wife, Hen.”

“Alright. Goodnight, Buck.”

“Goodnight.”

Buck doesn’t see Bobby when he goes to the shower, nor when he goes to change or leaves. He wanted to check up on him, but he supposes he’s probably gone home for the night. Buck can’t blame him for that, so he leaves the firehouse in the very capable hands of the B-shift.

Eddie’s truck is right there and he throws open the door with little grace, tossing his bag on the backseat, before collapsing in the passenger seat. It’s only when he’s sitting that the exhaustion sets in and he lets out a long groan.

“Still think you could have driven home?” Eddie asks smugly.

Buck sends him a half hearted glare. “Oh shut up.”

“I think the words you’re looking for is ‘you were right, thank you, Eddie, for picking me up instead of letting me do something stupid,’” Eddie retorts with a bad impression of him, as he drives away.

“Oi, I don’t sound like that,” Buck complains.

“You do a little.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes-”

“Ugh, stop it,” Buck cuts him off, before he can go on. Too tired to argue. Instead he asks: “How was Chris’s day? And yours?”

Eddie doesn’t have it in him to play offended at Buck adding his day as an afterthought. He knows from the army how on some hard days, you just want to know your kid is okay. He doesn’t begrudge Buck for that or deny him the comfort.

So, he talks about the failed pancakes then cereal for breakfast, what Chris talked about on the drive to school, then repeats what Chris told him during dinner. Beside him, Buck sinks off into sleep pretty soon. He looks exhausted and Eddie doesn’t want to wake him. If Chris wasn’t waiting at home, he would have taken a detour, but as it is now, he drives home and sits in the drive way for a few minutes.

He was really worried today. He’s not used to being on this side. To being home while someone you care about is out there and in danger. Buck has had dangerous calls, but not like this. Not where Eddie knows about it while Buck is still out there, instead of hearing about it in hindsight.

Eddie wonders if this is what it was like for Buck when he was off fighting, if he worried like this too, if he was relieved any time he answered the phone. It makes him grateful all over again for Buck’s presence. That Buck stayed.

For a second, he doesn’t know what to do with the feelings that overwhelm him. He has never had a friend like this, never had a person like this. Someone that chooses him over and over and always sticks by his side. Today, he thought something might have happened to Buck and he could have lost that. It scares him. It makes him realize just how much he has. How much he can lose.

So, he sits there and watches Buck for a moment, tracking the way his chest rises and falls, how his face is slack, ridding itself of the worry and exhaustion.

Then he shakes his head. He’s acting weird. He didn’t lose Buck and he was just worrying for nothing. There is no reason to be all- all emotional about it. He can just suck it up. It’s just the job, the same job he’s going to have soon. Getting stuck on those kinds of things won’t help.

Still, his hands are gentle when he prods Buck awake and he shoos him inside, grabbing Buck’s bag to carry in, because he doesn’t want Buck to exert himself. Buck rolls his eyes at it, but lets him, going on ahead. When Eddie joins him inside after putting his bag in the proper place and getting the dirty clothes out, he finds him at Chris’s door, peeking in through a crack.

“Just wanted to make sure he’s okay. Irrational, I know,” Buck whispers.

He sounds apologetic, he often does when doing something for himself in regards to Chris. Eddie wants to get it into his thick skull that he can do that as much as Eddie does, that there is a reason Chris calls him papi. However, every time he tries the words get stuck and it feels weird. “I get it, I check on him all the time.”

Buck is quiet, just nodding. He doesn’t seem to be fully there mentally, staring at Chris for a little longer. Eddie is about to suggest going to sleep when Buck says: “Me and Bobby saved this kid and his mom.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, prompting him to continue.

“We got the kid out pretty easy, but the mom was stuck. Bobby ordered everyone out, but he was going to stay behind himself to save her. I, uh- I stayed behind too. Against orders. It was stupid, but I couldn’t leave them, I had to try and save her. She had a kid to come home too, I couldn’t let her abandon him. I’d want someone to try and get me back too.”

“You made the right call.”

“Did I? Because right now, all I can think is how I nearly died and left Chris to save someone I don’t know.”

“That’s your job, Buck. It’s who you are. You save strangers despite what will happen to yourself, you always try to help. It’s what you did for me and Chris.”

He can see that Buck doesn’t really know what to do with that honesty. “Oh, uh- well… I mean, Chris wasn’t exactly a stranger. You were. I wanted to help Chris, I just kinda got stuck with you.”

“Oh fuck off,” Eddie replies, a grin on his face. It’s a joke to deflect, he knows that Buck is doing it, but he’s not going to push.

“Shush, there are children nearby.”

“Chris is asleep and you should be too. Come on, let’s get you to bed, big guy, you look dead on your feet.”

Buck does shut up at that and Eddie is confused about why he’s red, there isn’t anything too embarrassing about being tired. But he doesn’t point it out and lets his friend save face, instead following him to the bathroom so they can brush their teeth side by side, before they wish each other goodnight and retreat to their respective bedrooms.

The next day, Buck is up with the others. He is still sore, but he has the next day off, he can sleep later. He wants to spend this morning with Chris and Eddie.

He makes them breakfast and drives Chris to school with Eddie in the passenger seat, so he can drop him off at PT. He would like to stay, but he’s buying decorations and gifts for Chris’s birthday that is coming up.

He is half playing with inviting the 118. Chim is in recovery and things might settle down. He wants to open up more, maybe share this part of him and he feels a bit better about it after last night with Eddie saying he saved them.

However, that idea goes flying out the window when he comes in to work and Bobby isn’t there for his shift. Bobby is always there for his shift.

Finding Bobby the way they do is absolutely heartbreaking. He is in clear need of help, of someone to be there for him.

So they’re there for him. They check up on him after rough calls, reign him in when he snaps and sit with him in the quiet hours – though none of them will ever dare to use the word quiet.

Still, they don’t know anything about him, about why he started drinking and why he stopped. Much like Buck, Bobby has a tight grip on his personal life, but Buck now learns that might be because he doesn’t have a personal life. Just a job.

He can’t imagine what that is like, what not having people to come home to is like. He probably wouldn’t have survived some of the things he saw these past few months if he couldn’t come home and hug Eddie or watch Chris breathe.

However, it also makes him realize that no matter how close they’re all getting and how nice it is in the firehouse, he has no clue what these people are like outside of team drinks.

Of course he has faith that they’re good people and with time, they will probably become proper family. But not now. Not yet. It feels too early for something like inviting them to Chris’s birthday party. He needs to know more about who they are outside of work, before he exposes his son to them. Maybe next year.

And it feels like he makes the right call when things get frosty between Bobby and Hen. He doesn’t know exactly what went down on the call at the wedding, but something must have. Now, the team feels out of balance.

Much like them, he can’t wait for Chimney to get back. He hopes the other’s presence can pull things in balance once more. He can’t have this falling apart on him.

Despite his reservations, he has not felt more at home anywhere but with Eddie and the 118. He knows what he has with Eddie is temporary, so he needs this to be permanent. He needs the 118 to survive.

Buck doesn’t really know how to make a family survive.

He never could make his mom or dad love him, only succeeding in temporarily gaining their attention. He couldn’t get Maddie to stay with him. Couldn’t convince Shannon that him being there would make a difference. Could only convince Eddie to build this life with him because there literally wasn’t another option and he married the man with the promise of an easy divorce, even if that hasn’t happened yet.

For him, family has never been permanent, no matter how hard he tries. It all feels unsteady, so he does what he does with Eddie, pretends that he doesn’t feel the way the ground shakes and hopes that the building is strong enough not to collapse in the aftershocks.

And he is thankful for Hen, who despite her frostiness, is capable of making it work. Of making a family.

Through working with her, he has heard about her wife and her son. He loves hearing about her and Karen. He himself isn’t out at work, but hearing her always makes him happy – albeit a little wistful too – and confident that when he wants to share, it’ll be okay.

Hen made her family. He doesn’t know exactly how they got Denny, but she mentioned once he was a child of her ex. Getting to where she is now, she must have worked for that.

So, it makes sense that she’s the one that gets through to Bobby and gets Bobby to open up to them a little over family dinner that day.

He is incredibly grateful to her for that, but he doesn’t say that. He doesn’t want to mess up the good thing they have going on. Doesn’t want to mess up the work she put in. So, he just gives her a nod and a smile and carries on as if this is normal, as if he never thought anything else would happen. As if people always stay, instead of leave.

However, just because he doesn’t mention anything, doesn’t mean he isn’t desperately clinging to it all in the background.

When Hen asks for help planning Chimney’s welcome back get together, he jumps in feet first, doing anything she asks to make sure it’s all good. Up to her standard. Up to what Chimney deserves.

Sure, they’re getting closer, but Chimney is a glue, a heart and they need him back. He can deal with Hen when she gets snippy due to stress, he’s been there long enough that he back talks to Bobby, and is social and open in a way that allows him to pull Buck into the fold easily without it being awkward or forced.

Meanwhile, he’s also planning Chris’s birthday parties with Eddie, since that is coming up soon.

Both are kind of anxious about it. It’ll be the first birthday where no one has recently left or can’t attend and the first where Chris will have a kid’s party at an earlier date, before family comes. Because, yes, Helena and Ramon are flying in for Chris’s birthday.

Chris is thrilled and excited to see them again, Buck and Eddie less so. It’s the first time they’ll be there after the two of them basically fled the state to get away from them. This party has to impress them. Has to prove they’re capable of raising Chris without them.

Buck is glad Eddie isn’t starting the fire academy yet. He will soon, but he’s still getting his strength back and gamely taking Buck’s house wife jokes in stride.

For now it helps that Eddie is available to pick things up and organize things, while Buck busts out his planning skills. However, Buck is jittery and stressed. This has an added layer now. He’s in love with Eddie and he already knows his in-laws hate him, hell, they hate that they’re his in-laws to begin with.

He still remembers Shannon complaining about her horrid ex-in-laws in the Johnson farm kitchen, how he listened to her sympathetically, glad it wasn’t him. Now it is him and, unlike Shannon, he actually wants a family, a life with Eddie, and that sadly involves in-laws. He’s never going to get their approval, he knows that, but he at least wants to impress them.

It’s stupid and he knows it, but he stresses about it and to forget stressing about it, he lets himself drown in party planning.

And it works.

Chimney’s welcome back party goes well, the cake is done one time and everyone from the A and B shift is there. Athena shows up too. Everyone has a good time. He doesn’t even get weird when they talk about Valentine plans, happy that he has a shift then, so he can’t get in his head about it. Plus, they get to enjoy the party, before the alarm goes.

Chris’s party with friends from school goes well too. Both Buck and Eddie are familiar faces from pick up and they’re somewhat friendly with the parents from the other kids. It is a sweet kind of torture to be seen as an actual married couple by them, neither of them having ever felt like explaining the whole situation, since it’s complicated and personal.

The important part is that Chris enjoys himself and no one gets hurt and the house is in one piece at the end. When everyone is home, Chris is in bed, and he and Eddie are cleaning up the house, Buck relaxes a little bit.

He has survived two out of the three parties he planned. The full moon is this week, so that’ll be over by the time party three rolls around. He’s going to be fine.

~~

A/N:

The horrible balancing act of Buck being a chronic over-sharer, but needing him to keep a secret for the sake of plot lmao

[midsummer-semantics]

holy palmers' kiss

Happy Steddie Summer Exchange day! This fic is for Salvadore and you're amazing idea of a S2 Steve character study. I'm so glad I got to do this for you! I hope you enjoy!

Rating: E

Words: 11,781

Tags: Post-Season/Series 02, Canon Universe, Alternate Universe - Different, First Meeting, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Steve Harrington-centric, Character Study, Canon-Typical Violence, Flashbacks, Ambiguity, how they proceed from here is entirely your call, Getting Together, maybe who knows?, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Steve Harrington, Protective Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Eddie Munson, Emotional Infidelity, But he's kind of confused about it, I took the canon into a dark room and dissected it for parts, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Blood and Injury, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, Feelings Realization, Finger/Hand Kissing, Gift Fic

Summary:

It’s been less than five hours since Billy tried to bash Steve’s brains in, three since he descended into the depths of the tunnel system below Hawkins to fight off a pack of demon dogs and set fire to the place — he feels like that should have been more of a wild experience, but after the flower-headed creature at Byers' house and the showdown at the junkyard, it’s all kind of lost its shock appeal — an hour since he dropped the kids off at home and realized he can’t face his parents looking the way he does.

He can’t go home. He can’t go to Nancy’s. He can’t go to the hospital. He sure as fuck can’t go to Tommy’s.

There’s one place he might find help, though.

——— Or: In the wake of Steve's fight with Billy and the descent into the tunnels, Steve weighs his options, and finds himself at the doorstep of the only person he knows will help him.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week's writer spotlight feature is: @ciriceart! They have sixteen works under the Stranger Things tag and ten under the Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson tag over on Archive of our Own!!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following of their works by CultOfAdoration:

I get this feeling I'm in motion

Rule Me Captive, Drain Me Empty

a good age to meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with

to have everything you can see

They care alot about capturing the accurate voice of the characters they write about, and put lots of thought and care into character motivations and worldbuilding :} - anonymous

Below the cut, @ciriceart answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I just like the dynamic, and getting to write dialogue and think about conflicts that might naturally crop up between the two. I don’t think that there was a chance for them to get along well at all if not for the kids dragging them both into the end of the world, so it’s kind of fun to find different ways for them to get past it. Less of a “they would never get together” and more of a “under what circumstances would they get together” situation.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I think I just like anything that falls into character study or backstory development. I used to eat up anything under the hurt/comfort or angst tags as well, and those can all go pretty well together. Anything that even vaguely evokes Orpheus and Eurydice is also pretty much guaranteed to get my attention.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Slow burn. A lot of my writing never sees the light of day (or outside groupchats), but a majority of it is “will they, won’t they” slow burn with the two kind of dancing around the subject until it feels inevitable.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m not sure if I have a singular favorite fic. “New York Hardcore” by CaptainHoney is pretty high up there. It’s part of a larger series, but that first entry stuck with me. The tag “Steve deserves to be happy and go ham in the moshpit” is the truest statement I’ve ever read about that man.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’ve been working on a sort-of AU road trip fic about Steve, Jonathan, and later a hitchhiking Eddie, as they go cross-country. It’s very “right person, wrong place, wrong time”. Right now it’s just a big mess of notes and writing sprints, though.

What is your writing process like?

Almost everything starts off as scribbles in a notebook/Notes app, or taken down in notes app using speech-to-text on my phone. I always have to do the worst version first or it just doesn't feel right. Everything I want to be included gets thrown in there with very little regard for eloquence or order. From there, I break everything down into bullet points that I can expand on whenever I have time, and move things around into chronological order.

Do you have any writing quirks?

There are some words that I feel like I overuse. Things like “definitely”, “just”, and “very”, which reflects my real life speech habits.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I try holding off posting until I’m finished if only because it feels SO bad if I don’t manage to complete something. It doesn’t usually work. I get excited, so usually I end up starting to post when things are maybe 60% finished. Schedules remind me too much of school to be fun.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I don’t think I have one I’m most proud of, but I don’t have one that I’m not proud of either. “a good age to meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with” is one that I thought a lot about and still think about, even though it’s pretty short. I only posted it very recently, but I wrote it shortly after Vol. 2 when thinking too hard about Robin and what her personal life might be like after everything.

How did you get the idea for Rule Me Captive, Drain Me Empty?

I thought it would be interesting to explore the two of them fumbling through kink and figuring things out in a more organic way. It’s something I always find quite cute, and it feels more natural to me when they’re not exactly well versed in the ins and outs of “proper” kink etiquette and terminology. 

I’m also a Dom-leaning switch Steve truther and I’m out here in the trenches. 

When writing to have everything you can see, what was something you didn’t expect?

The response to it from readers, mostly. I had several people letting me know that the subject matter is more outside of their usual interests but that they ended up enjoying it and seeing the appeal regardless. That’s a pretty big compliment to me because I’m somewhat in the same boat.

What inspired to have everything you can see?

So, when I don’t share an interest with others, I get really heavily invested in why they like that thing, or how the interest came about. It could be about anything - books, music, shows, ships, spirituality, kinks. I just like to Know, I like “getting it”. 

I wrote that fic to understand “under what circumstances would this be A Thing for this character” in a somewhat judgment free zone. Just going right the hell into it like “alright, this is what these characters are into. Make it believable and make it fun”. It works!

What was your favorite part to write from I get this feeling I'm in motion?

I think it’s the implication of how routine hangouts like that are, with Steve and Robin. They go to her house, they get snacks and drinks, and they immediately make themselves comfortable in her room. There’s something really sweet about a best friend making themselves at home in your house, and just existing beside you.

How do/did you feel writing Rule Me Captive, Drain Me Empty?

Nervous! I get really in my head about how I go about things at first. Am I being too needlessly verbose? Too much exposition? Do people even care about all the pointless errands they’re going on, or should we just get right to the bedroom?

But then I calm down and figure, I’m having fun writing about Steve intentionally dragging Eddie around town, and everyone else is just going to have to make peace with that. 

What was the most difficult part of writing I get this feeling I'm in motion?

Does “not immediately oversharing all of my personal hang-ups in the author's notes” count?

Actually, it was probably making the “repercussions” of Steve’s actions still be scary enough for him to internalize as a kid, but not be too disastrous or dangerous for him. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. 

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

It’s very small. In “a good age (…)”, Robin thinks about what it might’ve been like if Steve were her brother and they (affectionately) come to the conclusion that they would have been little shitheads to each other as kids.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have a handful of steddie illustrations based on fics that I’m waiting for the green light on to post, and quite a number of fics I’m chipping away at. Watch this space!

Thank you to our author, @ciriceart, and our nominator! See more of @ciriceart’s works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[the-ace-with-spades]

Dunno if I'm going to ever finish it (written in bits and pieces at the moment, about 2 out 9 chapters done + dialogues for the rest) but I might as well post it here. It was supposed to be part 1 of a series (the cure series) but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

'cause boys don't cry AU after Eddie leaves 118. When Eddie says a few words too much during an argument, Buck decides to leave LA but still stays in contact with everyone and still acts like Chris' second parent despite being miles away. It takes him two years hopping around the country to realize that his family will still be there without their workplace holding them together. It takes Eddie less to realize he misses him like a lung. Buck-centric, character study, slow burn, mutual pinning, getting together

.

Any kind of holiday cheer has left Buck and by the time he and Taylor are back in his loft, all he wants to do is sleep and forget the whole day happened.

Taylor takes it in stride. Buck has long suspected that she knows a bit too much about the feelings he has regarding Eddie—the feelings that are also too much. She’s been patient with him, like no one else has ever been, to the point that Buck felt guilt about how she was giving him more than he was giving her.

She lets Buck fester in his own mind while she keeps herself busy with unpacking the leftovers and tupperware Bobby handed them on their way out. She puts it all in the fridge which Buck will have to rearrange later and switch some of the stuff into the freezer. He has his own system and she doesn't know it, even after almost a year of dating. It’s fine.

"I know we promised not to talk about it until after New Year," Taylor says when she closes the fridge, voice soft and soothing in the silence of the loft, "but maybe it's a sign."

"Maybe," he agrees.

A few days before Christmas, Taylor got a job offer. In New York. They promised to talk about that first thing first, in January. They haven't talked about it beyond the offer that Buck could be a firefighter in New York. It was Taylor's offer, a compromise that would keep their both careers intact; an offer that seemed perfect on paper.

One thing is clear—Taylor is going, with or without Buck.

And the thing is, Buck would never hold her back, would never ask her to stay in LA with him and that was probably saying more about their relationship than he'd like to admit. But up until this point, he'd been thinking about a way they should go about their split up—because Buck couldn't do a long-distance relationship again—and not whether he actually could be a firefighter in New York. The wait has, so far, been unexpectedly good for them—maybe a deadline to judge how true their I love yous and I miss yous were and deciding whether the last year really proved they were better as a couple than as friends, maybe it was a good thing. Maybe the certainty that by January, they will know what the rest of their year will look like was something they both needed.

"Let me write some emails before going to bed," he tells her.

She smiles back at him, in a way that's almost calming. Not quite, but maybe in a couple of years…

Three hours later, Buck is tired. He's researched how external transfer could work—and it's manageable even if barely—and he's sent seven different emails with his firefighter CV and certs to various chiefs, admins and HR people.

Maybe it's impulsive. Maybe he should wait a bit and cool down. But maybe this is how he should do things—with his heart as the only guide. And his heart is hurt enough that he would do anything to leave LA as fast as he can.

Taylor brings him a mug of cinnamon tea and he gives her a kiss and the only thing his brain wants to acknowledge right at the moment is that Eddie hates cinnamon.

.

The next day, they are at work—having the Christmas Day off means going to work before or after it, or both, in Buck's case—and Buck is tying his shoes on the bench in the locker room.

Everyone is quiet. There's no Eddie. The only familiar faces are Hen and Ravi but the rest of the crew is also avoiding Buck's eyes, like they know he can break at the right look.

"You alright, Buck?" Hen asks, in the end, because someone has to and Bobby is already in his office.

"Peachy."

There's nothing else to say. Eddie was right—he has no right to be angry, about anything, or sad or disappointed or—It's not Buck's place to feel anything regarding Eddie or Christopher and he might have forgotten about it but now that he remembers, he's fine. He is.

Everyone leaves the locker room without a word. It's still ten minutes before the shift begins.

Buck keeps on trying and trying but he can't tie his shoes correctly, his hands shaking enough that both ends tangle together before he can make a proper knot.

Hen steps closer, because she won't leave him alone like this. But that's the thing—she will. Three years and she will be doing rounds in a hospital with other med students. And maybe she gave them a lot of heads up to get used to the idea and maybe, definitely, she will be a brilliant doctor, but it's all the same.

Hen stops his hands from tugging on the shoelaces. Her fingers wrap around his palms, embracing the tense muscles until he loosens the grip. She guides them away, closer to her waist.

"Buck," she says. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm fine, Hen."

There's no other truth. He has no right to any other truth.

"I know you're mad, Buck, and I know you don't want Eddie to leave but—"

"I'm not mad, Hen," he interrupts and it's not a lie. He's not mad—he's hurt and he feels stupid that he forgot his place and that he let himself get comfortable and hopeful again. Things with Eddie hadn't been great ever since the shooting and only spiraled downhill once Buck moved out of Eddie's house after he recovered enough to take care of himself and Christopher on his own—he should have known that it was Eddie's choice, that he was recreating boundaries for Buck so he wouldn't cross into a territory he shouldn't.

But it was too late for that.

Buck has already crossed every boundary anyone from the One-Eighteen had set for him. It wasn't intentional—he just thought his boundaries were in the same spots as everyone else's, that they weren't playing house, that they were living it, the same way he did.

"I think Eddie is making the right decision," Buck tells her because that's also the truth and he doesn't like lying.

If Eddie had talked to him about it, Buck would have told him that too—he would have been supportive, would have helped him with shortlisting potential jobs, would have helped him with talking about it with Christopher, would have set a budget and time-off plan, would have put some order into the chaos the decision was. Eddie was doing what was best for Christopher and that—that's something Buck would never deny him. But Eddie hadn't talked to him about it.

And that hurt. That hurt because one of the things Buck has always thought he would have, no matter what his feelings for Eddie were—platonic, romantic or too messed up to name—was that little place in Eddie's family.

And it was like Maddie all over again, too. Because he thought he had that little place in Maddie and Chim's family, that he would be part of the struggle and the decisions and he would be part of the help. It wasn’t about Maddie not being there for him, it was about Maddie not allowing him to be there for her. It's never been about being left behind—it's always been about being part of someone else, having a place with someone.

And if Buck's not part of any of the two, then who exactly is he? Who is Evan Buckley? Maybe it's time to figure it out, on his own. Maybe it's just part of being a human, leaving others behind, never really settling down with anyone, and maybe Buck needs to do exactly that.

He clenches his jaw and slides his hands out of Hen's grip.

He gives her a small smile and uses the same shaking hands to finally tie his boots. He can't look her in the eyes, at least not for more than a millisecond.

"I'm fine, Hen. Really."

.

Eddie doesn't show up to the shift, or the rest of his shifts, before his two weeks notice runs out—Bobby said he used up the leftover PTO he had, to focus on finding a new job and adjusting to a new life.

Buck picks up Christopher on both Wednesdays and they have a little trip to the cinema and to the new interactive science exhibition for kids they opened just after New Year's. Buck worked on New Year's Eve and on New Year's Day. He takes Chris back home but never walks him past the porch, just watches Eddie open the door for Chris, like he was waiting at the entrance since he heard Buck's Jeep park on his driveway.

He texts Eddie for the first time in two weeks, still sitting in his car in Eddie's driveway, seeing the light turning on in the kitchen of Eddie's house. His engine is on, waiting for Buck to make the escape, to be chased or to be chased out.

To Eddie: Ill pick him up from school for a sleepover next fri

Then, he adds, because he realizes he should be asking for permission;

To Eddie: If its alright with you

A text comes in a minute later.

From Eddie: I have a taster day on sat To Eddie: Ill take him to your abuela b4 my shift then

He puts the Jeep in reverse. He drives to the loft and once he is in the underground parking lot of his apartment complex, he texts Taylor.

To Taylor: Lets do it

There's no signal underground so the text doesn't go through until he's in the elevator. He could unsent it in the next three minutes it takes him to go across the parking lot, if he wanted.

He doesn't unsent it.

He cooks dinner—too much because he never really stopped being used to cooking for two grown men and a growing pre-teen, but Taylor can always take some to work for lunch the next day. It’s a compromise.

Taylor doesn't text him but when she finally comes back from work, she has a soft smile on her face.

She takes a look at Buck, sitting on his couch with an open laptop and filled-out application forms and drafted reply emails to both the chief and the HR admin from FDNY, and she looks at him and steps closer and guides Buck's head onto her chest.

Buck sighs when she brushes her fingers through the short hair on the back of his neck.

It's not quite what he wants but it's something he can grasp now and something that a new place, maybe, can shape into something he wants.

.

On Thursday, Buck goes to work early. Or earlier than he usually would. He goes through the motions—puts on freshly washed and dried uniform, button after button, even getting done the collar one today, slips his boots on and folds his civvies into a neat pile, packs it all back into the sports bag. He goes through the locker too, packs the athletic wear he has to wash between a small towel and gets rid of the little notes, photos and trinkets he has pinned to the inside of the door. It all lands in the trash can, except for the drawing he has from Christopher, of Buck in turnout gear, now years old, and a little origami flower he got from a kid he had rescued from a pile-up his first year on the job.

His name tag is still missing on his chest and as he looks into the mirror on the wall, checking if he's pinning it down straight and while staring at the Buckley written on the silver plate, he realizes he will have to give back his uniform on his last day.

FDNY doesn't have name tags. Their surnames are embroidered onto the uniform in a bright red thread, permanent in a way that Buck would have loved not so long ago.

"Buck," is what shakes him out of his head.

He looks up in the mirror and Bobby's face is already catching his eyes in the reflection.

"You're early," Bobby continues, in that level-headed, monotone voice he uses when he isn't sure what's going on but has a feeling about it. "There's over half an hour left before the shift starts."

Buck doesn't know what to say to that so he asks, "Can we talk? In private?"

Bobby takes him upstairs, to his office. They are quiet on the way there and Bobby's hand is warm on the small of his back when he closes the door behind them. He doesn't sit down, instead, he leans on his desk and looks at Buck. His arms are open like he's preparing for a hug—Buck expected them to be crossed over his chest.

"Cap—" he says and then he corrects himself. "Bobby, I didn't want you to hear from anyone else but I already submitted a copy to the chief."

He hands him the manila folder he snatched from his locker before following him out of the changing area. Bobby opens the elastic in a second and reads the papers inside.

“I think it’s time,” Buck adds when Bobby doesn't say anything.

This stirs something. Bobby looks almost angry—it's a look Buck's never seen on him. Disappointed, disapproving, defeated? Buck's seen that, not this.

“Time for what? I thought this is what you wanted, what you fought for. Buck, you can’t just—”

“It’s an external transfer, Cap, not a resignation letter," he interrupts. Bobby could, probably, talk him out of this and he knows it.

He needs him not to talk him out of this.

“I need a minute to myself, find a place in—with someone. I got too attached to this,” he admits, without really admitting what this means. “To the station, to the crew, to… We might act like it sometimes, but it isn't a family, isn’t that what you told me? I think I took it too far and—it's not—”

Healthy. It's not healthy for him.

Bobby flinches at the words, maybe because he hasn’t remembered them until now or maybe because he hasn’t thought that Buck would remember them. And he hadn't, not until a few days ago when his heart started breaking after sustaining too many cracks in the last months. It’s been five years and Buck still remembers. This is not a family.

And that's Buck's main point here—it's been five years and Buck is in the same place as he started, maybe there's less stolen trucks and meaningless hookups but emotionally, he's stuck. Desperate for a family. Loving with his whole heart without being loved back the same amount. With no clue who he is, except that he is a firefighter, and although this, somehow, might give him a lifeline to grasp, it's not enough anymore. He doesn't want to just survive, he wants to thrive.

“We are a family, Buck. This crew, we all love you, we will always be your family—”

Buck wants to believe it—

“On shift, maybe.” —he knows better now though. “But after the shift, you all will have your real families. You’ve got Athena, and May, and Harry, and Micheal, Hen has Karen and Denny and her fosters, and—and Chim will have Maddie and Jee and I—I just have an empty apartment and way too many feelings. I hate it, Bobby, I hate how this makes me feel so angry and so desperate and so empty, and I need to be less attached. I need to know who I am again without questioning how much of this is real and how much I imagined.”

He can't look Bobby in the eyes—he knows what he would see if he does. Defeat. Sadness. Maybe even a bit of a heartbreak.

“Taylor got a job offer in New York, I checked with the command and they would need me to recertify there if I wanted to be a fully trained firefighter on the crew or squad but they will gladly let me be a floater in the meantime, I don't even have to redo the full training, just pass the ones reciprocity can't be reached on. I’ll technically belong to Station Two-Fifty-Two but I’ll be bouncing around to whichever house will need me at the time. It’ll be good for me, not getting too involved, you know? Just doing what I love with no strings attached.”

No boundaries to cross or to overstretch. Just Buck, in his purest form. Just Buck, not the imagined version he created in his own mind. No Buck 1.0, no Buck 2.0, no Buck 3.0, no Buck 4.0. Just Buck.

Just Evan.

"It'll be good, I promise," he says and it almost sounds like he's saying, I'll be good.

Bobby stands there, his arms falling down his sides. And then he opens them again, this time wider, this time leaning into Buck's space from afar.

Buck lets him hug him. Lets him hold his nape in his palm and lets him guide Buck's face into his shoulder. Lets him sway Buck from side to side until Bobby's breathing, shallow and rapid, is back to normal. Lets himself have this for the last time.

"Please don't tell anyone about it, Bobby," he pleads into his shoulder. "I have two weeks left. I want them to be normal."

Bobby squeezes his shoulders tighter.

.

On Friday, he picks up Chris from school.

First thing in the morning, while, he knows, Eddie is driving Chris to school, he parks on the driveway and uses the spare key to get in. He tries not to look around—at the dirty dishes in the sink, at the thrown over the couch blankets, at Eddie's unused work shoes, sitting near the entrance.

It's not his place, to look at them.

Instead, he packs an overnight bag for Chris—his favorite PJs, two in case something gets spilled, clothes for the next day, his weekend workbook, his space-themed notebook, his comfort blanket, the one he had since he was a baby, and Chris's meds for two days.

He hesitates before going back out to his car. Turns around back to the kitchen and takes a sticky note from the fridge and writes down what he doesn't want to say.

Packed stuff for Chris for the weekend. Don't freak out if anything is missing.

The key is under the mat

– Buck

He leaves the sticky note on the fridge and leaves the spare key under the mat. He's flying out in two days, on an overnight flight on Sunday, it's not like he's going to use it again.

Chris is happy to see him. Just like Buck suspected, Eddie hasn't told him the plan for the day. Buck clenches his jaw before saying something along the lines, Glad you liked the surprise, buddy.

The day is good. They start up by making dough for a homemade pizza and the loft looks like a warzone afterwards but Buck doesn't care. While the dough is left to grow, he helps Chris with his homework and then, they finish up the pizza, making a monstrosity of various toppings that probably shouldn't go together. It’s something they’d done multiple times over the years, even if Eddie is usually there with them.

Chris is amazing the whole day like he always is. They play a mix of video games and board games and even play some modified Uno. Chris rambles about his school day throughout the whole ordeal and runs down possible ideas for his upcoming projects by Buck and they discuss the idea of making a giant soda volcano, just to spite Eddie when it inevitably erupts in their living room—Buck makes him promise he will take a picture of Eddie's face when it happens.

They finish up with a healthy snack—veggies and hummus—and Chris and he brush their teeth before they go to bed for their half an hour of before-bed quiet reading time, each with their own book. When Chris's eyes get tired, Buck finishes up the chapter for him, reading out loud, until Chris curls into his chest on the brink of sleep.

Buck tucks them both in. Chris falls asleep as soon as he kisses his forehead.

He remembers the first time like this, back when Eddie was dating Ana and Chris came for a sleepover in the loft while his dad was breaking Buck's heart, laughing in a restaurant with a woman that wasn't Buck. He had been anxious the whole evening and trying desperately not to think why Eddie wanted Chris to sleep at Buck's and not Buck at their house. But as soon as Chris was under Buck's covers, the only thing he could think about was just how scared he was to sleep with Chris in the same bed. 

Because no matter how big it was, Chris was so small and Buck was not and Buck was a kicker—and a snorer, according to Chris and Eddie—and the thought of hurting Chris, even by accident, or even putting him in any form of discomfort, made him want to grab a spare blanket and sleep on the floor next to the bed.

He stayed awake for about an hour after Chris fell asleep with his head on his chest, contemplating just not going to sleep, when he felt Chris's own legs kicking his thigh with a single, abrupt movement. And then, somehow, he knew Chris would be fine.

And he holds Chris, for an hour, without falling asleep, just like back then, and he knows Chris will be fine with him leaving. He will be fine because he will make sure of that. It's not going to be like his dad leaving for the army or like his mom leaving for LA after breaking down.

It’s a normal day. The upcoming days will also be normal, even if different.

They are eating breakfast in Buck’s kitchen the next morning, Taylor comes in, says hi to Chris and leaves within minutes with her laptop. Before she goes, she stops in the doorframe, looking at Chris’s back, at how unsuspecting he is, and gives Buck a smile that feels like a squeeze of a hand. He nods back at her and smiles, his cheeks protesting at the motion.

Chris is still half-awake but he finishes his choco-chip pancakes without problems. It’s slow, and quiet, and sunny and Buck hates it.

"There's something we should talk about," he starts when Chris is scrapping off the whipped cream off the side of his plate. Buck hasn’t even tried to eat. "Something I have to tell you."

[the1trueanon]

Finally got around to making Sage/Rosemary's Neighbor Chart!! Maybe now I can finally get myself to do her official Neighbor description XD

Welcome Home and all it's characters belong to the great @partycoffin!! The Neighbor Chart template belongs to w i s d o m#0465 (thank you for making it)! Sage and Rosemary belong to me (@the1trueanon) -w-

Here's a further description of all of their relationships for you guys! ⏬

Wally: Sage isn't very close to Wally at first, though he does make it known that he is looking out for her in little ways. Though sometimes it seems almost as if Wally is sad or wistful around her. Despite this and some of his weird behaviors, they end up as rather good friends until Sage starts remembering Rosemary. Wally and Rosemary are very close. When Rosemary was alive, Wally was one of her closest friends and confidants. Now, Wally acts as a guide and companion as Rosemary remembers herself and tries to work out who she is, and Rosemary teaches Wally about the Outside and about himself and all the new things he learns and experiences. The two of them have the closest relationship, and love each other very much. One could potentially call them soulmates @:3

Barnaby: Barnaby and Sage are pretty good friends, though they aren't particularly close at first, They become much closer when Rosemary starts coming back. Barnaby and Rosemary become practically besties, as both of them adore making horrible, horrible jokes together. He's also an older sibling/father sort of comfort figure for her at times. The two of them and Wally hang out a lot.

Sally: Sage and Sally are very close, and end up dating each other! Sally prompts shy Sage to do more things, while Sage is Sally's voice of reason. However, the relationship between Sally and Rosemary is complicated. Though Rosemary and Sage end up as one person and still love Sally, and Sally still loves Sage, their relationship is strained with the introduction of Rosemary. But no matter if they stick together or break off their relationship, Sally and Sage/Rosemary will always be close.

Poppy: As always, Poppy plays a generally "motherly"-like role for both Sage and Rosemary. She and Sage often share recipies, complete with ingredients from Sage's garden. Poppy was also very key to helping Rosemary adjust when she finally came back to herself. When Rosie would have panic attacks or get overwhelmed, Poppy, Barnaby, and Wally were the main three able to help her step away and calm down again. Rosemary finds Poppy's company very comforting and cozy.

Frank: Frank and Sage are really good friends! Frank enjoys being around Sage as she's much calmer and less energetic than the others, and listens whenever they like to talk. The two share lots of gardening tips and ideas, and Sage gives them recommendations on what plants to try out in their garden. While Rosemary is noticeably more energetic and chaotic than Sage, Frank is still pretty close friends with her too. With Rosie's new confidence, she and Frank can now enjoy sassing each other back and forth XD The two are still gardening buddies all the way, and Rosemary even helped Frank with setting up an apiary once for him to study bees!

Howdy: Whether Sage or Rosemary, the general relationship between her and Howdy remains pretty much the same: she's one of Howdy's suppliers! Whether it be flowers or herbs, syrups or supplies, Howdy and Sage pretty much engage in a "tradesies" sort of deal. Sage, of course, still runs her own shop, but a lot of her supply also goes to Howdy's store. A bonus, however, of the addition of Rosemary is that Rosemary now engages in jokes with Howdy and Barnaby, typically resulting in the three of them dying of laughter on the floor!

Eddie: Eddie is probably the neighbor Sage/Rosemary has the least relationship with, though they're still good friends and enjoy spending time together. However, between Sage/Rosemary's work and Eddie's hectic schedule, the two don't normally get to spend time together unless it's in a group. Unfortunately, they're both workaholics 😅

Julie: Julie's bouncy personality typically overshadows Sage's calm and quiet demeanor, so while Julie and Sage are pretty good friends, most people wouldn't particularly recognize it. Sage is pretty good at helping calm Julie down when she gets overexcited however, and Julie -- like Sally -- pushes Sage to come out of her shell. Julie and Rosemary, on the other hand, are very obviously good friends. Paired up with Frank, the three of them can start a teasing spree that never ends! If Rosemary isn't with Wally and Barnaby, you'll absolutely find her with Julie and Frank.

[griefabyss69]

also idk if this is allowed but i’m very intrigued by all three of the final three. take your pick or post all three if you wish to delight your audience triply:

more antagonism for the masses

natureboy

slapping is a sincere form of pleasure

This is totally allowed!!! A palm tree triple delight for everyone: I'm giving notes on two of them and then an excerpt from the last one! more antagonism for the masses:

This one is because I loved writing Acceptance and Negation (Steve loses a bet against his rival Eddie and has to become his foot stool etc) and the dynamic there was so good to me.

It's going to maybe be a little bit meaner but I'm still going to try to find the balance again, and also I'm hoping it's going to be a short and sweet one (not 18K lmao). I have ideas on what they're going to do but I'm not going to make a promise I might not keep!!!

natureboy: this idea hit me like a flash of lightning while writing something completely different (which is how like a quarter of my WIPs start). It's going to be about how Steve feels a pull towards nature that he's never really been allowed to explore due to needing to be a tidy little fancy rich boy. USUALLY I just have this background characterization of Steve being a former boy scout, but not in this one! I do touch on this idea very shortly in The Smell of Autumn, but that's an erotic microfic and this precedes that and will be waaay more in depth (and to be honest, it's me, probably erotic as well). I really think Steve would make a great outdoors kinda guy, he's got the kinesiological smarts and probably wouldn't even feel embarrassed about talking to trees like they're his journal. I just read what I have for this (under 300 words so far, I had the other fic to get back to!) and I like it a LOT. So whether this ends up being short or long I think it might be a Fave. slapping is a sincere form of pleasure:

This is another serious one! It's a Steve character study but from Eddie's POV, heavier on the kink than usual in a way (less like they stumble into sex that has bdsm elements and more like they go right into it knowing exactly what's going on). On the cover it'd be something like "Eddie enjoys slapping a lot" but it goes a lot deeper than that. Little excerpt from the beginning: (Contains: slapping ofc, kink, rated M)

While he can't say he's super familiar with the feeling of proper leather cuffs, he knows the stinging on his skin like the back of his hand.

How he got here is… not quite a mystery, he can piece it all together step-by-step, but it's one of those things he only believed was real once the first grounding hit had connected with him.

The mystery is all inside of Steve, carefully filed away until Eddie manages to find the right key for the right drawer to slide open. This particular drawer had been dense, and he's still not sure how he even got it open - weed and a witching-hour conversation already accounted for.

Steve's life between his graduation from high school and the Boat House Reunion is all blurry question mark, but all Steve says about his "Yeah, Eddie. I know what BDSM is. I can prove it." admission is that he's taking something back for himself.

And Eddie's desperate to know what it is, but earning access to that information will take a while. So he just enjoys what Steve's let him in on, becomes a collaborator in his previously private healing.

Steve's large, gorgeous hand cracks against Eddie's face again and he grunts - not yet at the point to give up his arbitrarily stubborn decision not to moan - enjoying the way his body's buzzing as his heart pumps faster.

[queenofnabooty]

Ficlet Week Challenge (schedule here)

Day 4: Unlikely Allies - examine a connection between two characters who are (at least typically) opposed in some way

Asriel & Edward - His Dark Materials

“I was studying here so often, I think there’s a print of my backside on the seat,” Edward Coulter patted the arm rest of the leather chair nostalgically, affectionately.

The fire crackled in front of two alumni of Jordan College. It was more smoke than flame, but the peat moss gave it a pleasant aroma. Stelmaria rested her chin on the toe of Asriel’s shining dress shoe. The council meeting suffered a last minute change of location to the college library, rather than the prestigious office of the king’s advisor, a place which Edward was very proud to call his own. There was still half a bottle of tokay left and Asriel was determined to savor it even if the politician would be lingering.

Edward pointed a finger, “I think I saw you back then. I’m sure.”

“I don’t think so,” Asriel said bluntly.

“Yes, I did. You were in your last year while I was in my first.”

Asriel often forgot how young he was. His colleagues in age seemed so hazy eyed because the world hadn’t gotten to them yet. Asriel didn’t have the luxury of protection, he saw the real face of life early on and he wasn’t so cowardly that he would look away. But Edward must know something to get to the position he did, even if he could slouch his way up the ladder like the rest of his kind.

“It shocks me,” Asriel bounced Stelmaria’s head with his foot, “that you decided to marry when you have plenty of bachelor years left in you.”

Edward rubbed his wedding band and smiled, “When you meet a woman like Marisa you can’t afford to wait. Besides, it doesn’t appeal to me. Not that I look down on those who prefer it.” He added the last part rather quickly. In his line of work, he didn’t think he could afford to antagonize anyway.

The scent of the tokay kept Asriel focused enough to say anything too risqué. Marisa used that word when lecturing him the last time they met. She had been less amused by his hidden jams of late. In fact, her patience had run thin in most categories.

Edward leaned forward, “As much as I like talking about my wife, I won’t let you change the subject. I was in that lecture hall when you ripped that professor in two. It was spectacular.”

Of course Edward would see that scene as a spectacle, because what was it there for but to amuse him. Asriel remembered the moment he referred to in its truth: a lint-ball of a man was not too pleased as Asriel’s two minute tardiness and had some choice words. What was it he said again? Ah, sand-

“But I suppose that’s a usual day for you, right Asriel?”

Asriel said, “Yes, it wasn’t unusual.”

Not another word passed through Asriel’s lips before Edward began gesticulating more emphatically. “God, I wish I could do that in my office. But there are expectations, with the position, you know. And Marisa... well, she doesn’t appreciate my moods. There I go on about her again.”

“What would you fight for, Eddie?” he couldn’t hide the incredulity in his tone and from Edward’s expression, it did not go unnoticed.

“Greatness,” Edward scrunched his eyebrows together, “A world where every man has the tools to gain and protect the things he wants. His family.”

Asriel might have asked what exactly Edward meant by that, but he was already bored. To his ears, it sounded very much like the world they were already living in. This man had a fetish for the family structure. It was a wonder why he enjoyed Asriel’s company at all, but people do like to visit zoos after all.

Instead, Asriel simply asked, “What was your area of focus when you were a student here?”

“Economics. If you understand the flow of capital you understand the world right?”

“I can’t disagree with you there.”

There was that great Belacqua fortune that afforded Asriel a life with a view from above. His graduation was really a favor from overly sympathetic Master to Asriel’s parents as he barely attended enough of his course to truly qualify for the degree. This money sent him on adventures since he was a teenager with his reluctant manservant following behind to make sure he didn’t get himself killed. However, stating the value of money was redundant, and Asriel didn’t consider it a worthwhile focus.

Smoke drifted into the room and the men were forced to wave the air in front of their faces clear. A student scurried up and refilled Edward’s glass all the way to the brim, eager aspiring politician. Edward nodded at the student as if this wasn’t entirely ludicrous behavior and turned his attention to the snow leopard daemon.

The student waited expecting a word, and when it was clear he wouldn’t get one he let the tokay bottle clang against the side table.

Edward kept his eyes on Stelmaria as he spoke, “Do you think there was a point where you, Marisa, and I were all studying in Oxford at the same time?”

“If you were in your first year when I was in my last, and Marisa was in her last year when you met her to woo, how could we all be studying at the same time?” Asriel took a large swig allowing the smoke and the liquor to intermingle on his tongue.

Edward joked, “You know young girls like to go see the Jordan boys for fun.”

“Marisa would have been in France then.”

It was said too quickly. It shouldn’t have been remembered at all. Asriel figured Edward would register that and keep that in the catalogue of his mind, if not agitate his temper. Marisa had mentioned in passing that Edward could burn up in a second if one wasn’t careful around him.

“She would have,” Edward slumped back into his seat, “it was just a thought, that’s all.”

[kitkatt0430]

So I've got a character study for Iris West, the 1990 live action version, I wrote up after watching the pilot episode last night. Currently in a editing phase and I'm debating adding one more scene to it, but it gets to be first in my Six Sentence Sunday snippets.

In the 90s show, Iris only shows up in the pilot episode. She's dating Barry, but their relationship is pretty clearly on the rocks. They actually break up and get back together over the course of the episode; yet despite them ending the episode as a couple, Iris never shows up again after that. Which isn't totally surprising. A lot of shows have been known to have characters get quietly dropped after the pilot episode, but the fact that was done with Iris West of all characters...

I guess I got a bit curious about her point of view in all this.

"I was thinking," Barry said, sliding their fingers together and ducking his head a bit nervously to look at them, "I could have been killed last night.  And something like that makes you look at your life, you know?"

Iris tried not to just yank her hand back, feeling a creeping unease up her spine.  "Oh, I know where this is going."

"What's wrong with that?" Barry asked.

Nothing, except he'd asked before.  Not this subtle beating around the bush, but down on one knee with a ring in hand, gazing up at her with so much hope and...

Since it's intended to be canon compliant, I lifted some dialog from the episode. By repeatedly replaying certain parts of the episode since I couldn't find any transcripts online. This Iris doesn't nearly have the developed personality of 2014's Iris West, even comparing just pilot episodes alone, though I do feel like her being a graphic artist could have been an interesting change to her character if she hadn't been so quickly scrapped.

As for my 2014!Flash fics, I think I'm getting close to wrapping up the 'Barry takes Joe's demand not to tell Iris poorly' fic. There's been a lot less Joe in it than I initially thought there'd be because there's been so much more Barry-avoiding-Joe going on. But that's given Cisco more space to be the person Barry seeks sanctuary from when he's upset about things. So I'm not complaining too much.

That said, I've finally reached the part where Barry confronts Joe about how much what he said hurt Barry. Well meant intentions don't make a poorly worded request any better, after all.

Despite telling Iris to mind her own business, Barry winds up at Joe's house one evening anyway.

It's all weirdly normal.  Joe acts like everything is fine. It drives Barry quietly up a wall.

"Why did you ask me not to tell Iris, anyway?" Barry finally demanded.  Rather glad Iris wasn't there for this conversation.  Apparently she'd told Joe about Eddie and they were mad at each other.  Again.

"Because I thought she'd do something stupid," Joe admitted. 

I'm not going to end on a 'Joe apologizes, everything's magically fine' note. But they'll be making steps towards being okay again, so they'll be okay down the road.

And the second fic in the Man in the Lightning series is being a bit sticky in places, but I've had Barry give his two week notice at work and also tell Singh the truth too.

"I want you to get peace officer certified," Singh finally said.  "It'll legitimize any arrests you need to make on your own.  I'll do what I can to keep your identity as the Flash secret."

Barry smiled.  "Thanks Captain."  He hesitated.  "I think Joe is expecting you to talk me out of quitting."

"Even I don't make crime fighting my work and all my hobbies too."  The Captain gave Barry an understanding look.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Buddies, 7.3k words, T, (pre-Eddie/Buck, gay!Eddie, coming out)

(ao3)

After Eddie was shot, there were two big things he had to deal with - recovery, and the near-death realization that he was gay. The latter of which proved more difficult of the two. But as his recovery was aided by a physical therapist, Eddie also found someone to help him come to terms with his sexuality and find acceptance. Eddie wouldn't know where he'd be if Michael hadn't taken him under his wing.

However, the consequences of a failed date - encouraged by Michael - lead to something Eddie didn't think he'd be facing so soon. Coming out to his teammates. Will Eddie find the strength within himself to push through his fears? It shouldn't be too hard... right?

           It’s too stifling for a fall morning in Los Angeles, Eddie thought, as he hopped out of the fire engine and sweat immediately dampened the collar of his jacket. He tugged on the fabric, huffing a tired breath through clenched teeth as he trotted after his teammates. Eddie soon fell into step beside Buck as Bobby began directing them where they were needed along the highway pileup. “Hen, Chim, attend to the drivers who are already outside their vehicles,” Bobby ordered, waving at the few bystanders leaning against cars and cradling different parts of their body, like arms and heads and one visibly bloody side with blood leaking through pale fingertips. Hen and Chimney immediately hurried there before the woman fainted from blood loss. Then, Bobby points at the two smoking cars fused together feet away. “Buck, Eddie, I want you to check on the drivers in each car and assess the damage. If you can get the occupants out safely, you have permission to do so.”

           They nodded, Buck’s face stretching with a grin as he locked eyes with Eddie. “We got this, don’t we Eds?”

           Eddie’s heart skipped at the nickname, and he blamed it on the weather. He blamed the warmth pooling in his cheeks, no doubt tinting his cheeks, on that, too. “Course we do.” He followed Buck towards the wreckage, asking, “Which one are you checking?”

           “I’ll handle the Corvette,” Buck said, “always wanted to have my hands on one, anyway.”

           “Guess that leaves me with the mini-van…”

           Buck shrugged, splitting off wordlessly to inspect the red sports car that, in this moment, resembled an empty beer can littering the floor of a house party. You get what you pay for, in the end. Eddie stifled his giggle, sobering to a more serious expression as he rounds the other, less-damaged, car. He found a young girl behind the wheel, staring straight ahead while white knuckling the steering wheel. An older woman sat in the passenger seat, knocked unconscious by the collision. He wasn’t worried too much, however, aware of the deflated air bags blanketing their laps. Eddie knocked on the door, “LAFD! Are you able to lower the window?”

           He startled the driver from her trance, shaky hands finally releasing the wheel and whipping to her face. She sobbed through her hands, a muffled sound that tugged on Eddie’s heartstrings.

           Eddie knocked again, softer, until she looked at him. He tapped the window slowly, “Can you lower this?”

           She choked on a breath, chest heaving underneath her safety strap as she did what Eddie asked.

           “Hey,” he began, reaching inside to click the safety off, “my name is Eddie Diaz. What’s yours?”

           “Ol-Olivia…” she stuttered, wiping at tears that continued to fall no matter how hard she scrubbed her eyes, “I’m… oh God, I’m so sorry.”

           Eddie unbuckled her seatbelt, checking for any cuts or abrasions because of it. The skin around her neck seemed red and tender from impact, a possible burn, but that was the extent of the damage there. “It’s okay,” he assured her, cradling Olivia’s head in his hands to better assess her injuries. There were scrapes and bruises there, dried blood crusting around her nose. Nothing that screamed ‘emergency’. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

           She sucked in a deep breath, then launched into her story. Eddie listened, running through a mental checklist while she rambled. “I’d gotten my learner’s permit a few months ago,” Olivia explained, “and I’m supposed to go for my driving test in a few months, for my birthday. In the meantime, I’ve been practicing all I can and I… and I thought I was ready for the highway. I mean, it’s not parallel parking, so I thought it couldn’t be that hard. But my mom thought I wasn’t ready and I… I didn’t listen and – oh, oh no! My mom -!”

           “Is okay,” he told Olivia, keeping her eyes on him and preventing any further sudden movement. “I promise.” Eddie surreptitiously scanned Olivia’s mother between beats of her story, noting the subtle rise and fall of her chest. “Is that how you got into the accident? Fighting with your mom?”

           “Well, partly,” Olivia explained, “I…” She hesitated, biting her lip and causing a few more blood droplets to leak past the cut there. Eddie waited, running his hands below the dashboard to check for any strain or damage from the crash that might make extraction difficult. There wasn’t any he felt. “It’s so embarrassing,” she muttered.

           “It’s okay,” Eddie said, smiling, “You wouldn’t believe the kind of calls me and my team have rushed to. I’m sure whatever happened can’t be as embarrassing as a woman stuck in a window because she tried throwing her poop out when the toilet wouldn’t flush.”

           That encouraged a tiny laugh from Olivia, and soon her earlier nerves from the crash disappeared. “I guess…” she sighed, dabbing at drying tear stains with her hoodie sleeve, “I was doing an okay job driving. Better than either I or my mom figured. But then this huge truck barreled by in such a rush that it shook the car and I freaked. I started screaming, and so did my mom, and I didn’t notice that we started drifting and… ugh, I felt like Cher, y’know? From that movie Clueless?”

           Eddie blinked at her. “You know what Clueless is?”

           “It’s a good movie,” she defended, “Plus that’s like… peak Paul Rudd. Although current Paul Rudd is also peak Paul Rudd… he’s really cute for an old guy.”

           He mostly agreed with her, only offended by her closing remark. Paul Rudd isn’t old.

           Paul’s ageless.

           Eddie stood at his full height, backing away to give Olivia space. “You think you can step out of this vehicle on your own?” She shifted, slowly freeing one leg and then the other. Olivia tried exiting, except stumbled after the second foot left the car. Eddie caught her, easing her to the ground. From the corner of his eye, he saw Hen and Chimney approach. “You’re very lucky Olivia,” he said, “you had a great car that shielded you and your mom from some pretty serious damage. My friends are gonna help you two out now. You don’t have to tell them everything, but be sure to answer all their questions and if there’s any pain, okay?”

           “Okay.”

           “Good.” Eddie rose to greet Hen and Chimney, quickly combing through all he learned during his short time with Olivia, stressing the most important pieces of information. “I still have to get her mother out of the passenger side,” he said, jerking his thumb at the car, “once I do that I can carry her to the ambulance so you can do your thing –“

           “Sorry Eddie,” Bobby interrupted, clapping him on the shoulder, “I’m gonna need your help with the other driver.”

           “That bad?”

           “It’s an older car, made with metal instead of plastic,” he said, “guy’s wedged in there pretty tight, cut up, too. And there’s a glass shard running right into his shoulder blade.” Bobby turned to Hen and Chimney, “Once you’re done here we’ll need you on standby to help us. No telling how much blood he’s lost so far, or if there’s any trauma below his waist.”

           “No problem Cap,” Chimney said, “We’re almost done here. Hen, why don’t you go with Eddie and Bobby while I see to Olivia’s mom?”

           “Sounds like a plan to me.”

           “Great,” Bobby led them to the other side of the wreckage, Buck absent from the scene. “He’s getting the jaws,” he told Eddie and Hen. Then, once they’ve reached the Corvette’s driver’s side, Bobby yelled into the open, broken, window, “Sir? Sir, can you hear me? Are you still with us?”

           The man groaned a few indecipherable syllables Eddie couldn’t hope to piece together. He exchanged a short glance with Hen, who appeared similarly unsure. Bobby, meanwhile, continued his one-sided conversation as they waited for Buck to arrive with the jaws.

           “Coming in hot!” he yelled, lugging the jaws over his shoulders, “Where you want me, Cap?”

           “Let’s start with the door,” he motioned Buck closer, pointing at the hinge. “Eddie, grab the middle. I’ll get this side. When Buck snips this free, we’ll gently lower it down and let Hen get in there.”

           “Copy that.” Eddie readied himself, crouching into position. He laid his hands atop the car door, small glass shards crunching under his gloves as his fingers curled. Buck and Bobby talked over his head, working to line up the jaws correctly. During this, Eddie chanced a peek inside at the driver.

           The face he saw, staring back at him, nearly knocked him off his feet.

           Fitting, as that was how it felt when Michael showed him his picture while convincing Eddie to go on a blind date.

           “He works with David at the hospital,” Michael told him, passing his phone over so Eddie would see what David’s co-worker, Dr. Brendan Carmichael, looked like. In the picture Michael found, a selfie from Instagram, Eddie learned more than he needed. That beside the bright, orange hair and freckles splattered across his face like someone flicked a paintbrush over his skin, he also maintained a very strict gym regimen which kept his abs in perfect condition. Eddie’s thumb hovered over the midsection Brendan revealed, careful not to like it on Michael’s account. “He broke up with his last boyfriend a few months ago, and only recently started talking about dating again,” he continued, Eddie tearing his gaze away from the phone to better listen, “David mentioned you, how you were wanting to date again, too, and Brendan’s interested in setting something up. Only question is… are you?”

           It was something Eddie was working himself up to. After breaking things off with Ana during his recovery, and Buck’s focus divided further because of Taylor, Eddie found periods where he was all alone with only his thoughts as company. Because of this, it was harder and harder for him to ignore certain stuff he’d pushed to the back of his mind and crammed into a tiny closet. Namely, his utter sexual indifference to women.

           Almost dying for the umpteenth time put Eddie’s life into perspective.

           He wouldn’t know if the next near-death call might finally succeed where others hadn’t, and Eddie realized how awful it’d be to go without following his heart.

           So he followed it all the way to Michael’s. Eddie knocked on his door late one evening, a fifth of whiskey in his veins dulling the voices shouting how this was stupid, how he and Michael were acquaintances at best and strangers at worst. Then, once Michael invited him inside his empty apartment, Eddie vomited his epiphanies until Michael set his shaking frame down on the couch and forced a glass of water down his throat.

           Since then, Michael had taken on the role as Eddie’s gay sponsor. Michael guided Eddie to a point where he could see his reflection and say ‘gay’ while smiling. He also pushed at the fear that still clung to Eddie, urging him to experience new things, like with this blind-date.

           “I don’t know,” he said, “he does look… really, really nice.” Admitting that never felt like pulling teeth with pliers anymore, thanks to Michael. “I’m just… not sure.”

           “What aren’t you sure about?”

           “I don’t know,” he shrugged, “I… I guess it’s nerves. I’ve never done this before, you know. Is there anything I should know? That makes it different than a date with a woman?”

           Michael shot him a flat look, snatching his phone back. “A date is a date. There’s nothing different about it because it’s with another man. Well… except for when the check comes, and you have to bare-knuckle brawl in the kitchen to decide who gets to pay.” Eddie returned the favor, brows leveling at his friend. Michael chuckled, “Seriously, it’s nothing you need to work yourself up about. Go into it like it was any other date. You’ll have fun – and I’m not laying it on. Brendan is a great guy, from what I’ve heard. He’s got charm and face, which is rare. You don’t find men like us in the wild every day.”

           “Men like us?” Eddie parroted, cheeks straining as he fought against the smile threatening to appear.

           “Me,” Michael clarified, grinning freely, “And Chris Hemsworth. That’s it though.”

           “And this Brendan guy,” Eddie added, “if what you’re saying is true.”

           It wasn’t, unfortunately.

           The night started with Brendan arriving late to the restaurant he chose because of its proximity to the hospital, and only further plummeted as it went on. Brendan criticized his choice in dinner, goading him into ordering an even pricier dish that Eddie hadn’t even wanted. Which Eddie then paid for, although he almost was stuck with the entire bill as Brendan assumed Eddie would cover it. It almost made Eddie reconsider Michael’s earlier crack about brawling. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Brendan’s personality rubbed Eddie the wrong way. He was dismissive of Eddie’s career, unsubtly scrolled through his phone during parts of the evening, and seemed entirely uninterested in Christopher to the point that Brendan interrupted any story about him with an unconnected anecdote, derailing the entire conversation. As the waiter left with their credit cards, all Eddie wanted was to put this date in the rearview behind him.

           Except Brendan’s phone died during dessert, and he didn’t drive himself. “If you could give me a ride?” Brendan suggested, slipping a hand behind Eddie’s button-down and petting his chest, “I’d be very grateful…”

           Eddie wished he could say he drove Brendan home without anything happening, that he was a stronger man. But Eddie gave in to curious temptation. He let Brendan guide him to his apartment bed instead of racing back home to fall asleep in an empty house, Christopher staying over at Michael’s with Harry.

           They jerked each other off in the end; a slight comfort over oral and miles above anal. Once Eddie came, he feigned exhaustion and settled in for a sleepless night. He laid in wait for the morning, where he snuck out of Brendan’s apartment as the rising sun filtered past drawn curtains without a word to his date. Eddie did leave a note, promising he would call soon.

           He hadn’t and had no plan to, either.

           Still, here Brendan was.

           “Cutting in three, guys,” Buck yelled. He proceeded to count down; on one, Eddie heard the snip from the jaws and belatedly realized he needed to move. Bobby swung a second before Eddie, and the momentum of the door made Eddie stumble in his haste to lift the door.

           “Eddie,” Bobby huffed, “You good?”

           “Yeah… yeah,” he nodded, dropping the door on the street at the same time Bobby did. “No need to worry about me.”

           Bobby didn’t believe him, but he stopped questioning Eddie in favor of looming over Hen’s shoulder as she worked on Brendan. Buck leaned against the roof, head ducked inside the cabin, too. Eddie stood apart from the scene as an outlier. He wasn’t sure if it was good to approach. Although, being fully removed meant he wouldn’t know what the other man might say in his condition.

           Only three people knew of his sexuality – Michael, David, and Brendan. Eddie wasn’t ready for that circle to expand.

           Eddie returned, joining the others. He entered to hear Hen finish her line of questioning, her last question prompting Brendan to speak. “The wound on my shoulder is superficial,” he said, gaze unwavering on the side of Eddie’s face. He felt the weight of it, Eddie turned to watch his co-workers instead of Brendan. Bobby’s focus didn’t waver from the crushed dashboard in Brendan’s lap, prodding it in different areas. Buck kept glancing between Eddie and Brendan. “It’s deep, but a clean cut. You can get to that later, because I’m pretty sure there’s something digging into my leg close to my femoral artery.”

           “We’ll get right to it, then,” Hen assured him, “Sounds like you know your stuff, though. You a doctor?”

           Eddie bit his tongue, swallowing his instinctual reply. “Yeah,” Brendan said, “I’m a doctor.”

           “Then that saves us some time.” Hen reached into her bag for a neck brace, placing it around Brendan’s neck while Bobby muttered something to Buck. Buck’s eyes flicked to his briefly before he jogged towards the fire truck. “We’ll have you out of here in no time. Can you tell me where you were headed?”

           “To lunch,” Brendan told her, “We had to push a surgery back a day, and my next one wasn’t until two so I… I thought I’d treat myself to something nice. I already had back-to-back operations this entire morning.”

           “What were they?”

           “Tumor removals,” he explained, “in the brain. Real delicate work. I’ve probably performed over a hundred by now, but I still can’t shake the jitters each time I enter the theater…” Eddie grimaced, hiding it behind his jacket collar. Yes, he knew about Brendan’s job. Hearing it in this context, on the field and not in a dimly lit restaurant, hit differently; like he cared about his patients and didn’t use his position as a point of status. This was not the Brendan he remembered. Regret churned in Eddie’s gut, mixing with the shame and embarrassment already present.

           “I know what you mean,” Hen smiled. She rubbed around the shoulder wound, cleaning it of dried blood to better inspect it. “You can have it all down to a formula, but you will never be sure what might happen when the time comes.”

           “Exactly.”

           Buck hurried back with new tools in hands. He handed a saw to Bobby, “Where do you want me?”

           “Other side,” Bobby said. He tapped Hen on the shoulder, silently urging her off Brendan. “Sir,” he started, “we’re going to be cutting the dashboard off shortly. Don’t be afraid to talk or shout if you feel any pain, okay?”

           “I understand.”

           “I’ll remove the wheel, first,” Bobby said, slipping a pair of goggles on, “don’t move.” He powered the saw on and, in seconds, removed the wheel. Brendan sagged somewhat, breathing stilted and ragged. “Are you okay?”

           “Yeah...” He coughed, “Think my ribs might be bruised, possibly broken. I don’t… I think that’s it. Not sure.”

           “You’re talking, so that’s a good sign.” Hen felt around his chest, then held her stethoscope to hear his lungs. “Nothing out of the ordinary here, Cap. Carry on.”

           Bobby, and Buck now, brought their saws to the dashboard and continued cutting. Hen waited, kneeling, holding a bottle of solution and gauze for when it was her turn again. Meanwhile, Eddie uselessly hovered near her. There wasn’t much for him to do.

           That wasn’t true for long.

           Suddenly he was very much needed, Bobby calling for him and motioning Eddie with the saw. He tripped over his feet, “Coming! Coming!” Rushing to help Bobby remove the dashboard that, along with the glass shard, pinned Brendan to his seat. In doing this, Eddie glimpsed the red-stained leather under his leg. “Hen!” he said, “All you.”

           Hen filled the space where the dashboard had been, attending to Brendan’s wound with practiced speed. As Eddie and Bobby returned, she fixed the tourniquet around his thigh and was partway done with wrapping his leg with gauze. And when Buck sidled towards them, she began removing the glass shard in his shoulder. It was much longer than a passing glance would make you believe. “Yikes,” Buck muttered, “You ever think a windshield could do that?”

           “Old cars like these?” Bobby replied, “Anything’s possible.”

           “He’s good for removal!” Hen yelled over her shoulder, kicking her bag a few feet back. She stands, dusting off her knees, “I’ll go get Chimney and the stretcher, be ready to help us set him down once we’re here.”

           “Buck and Eddie’ll handle that,” Bobby said, “I’m gonna do a final sweep of the area, make sure we didn’t miss anything. Copy?”

           “Understood.” Buck knocked shoulders with Eddie, nodding at the car, “Let’s go get the doctor ready for his ride back to work.”

           Eddie bit his cheek, letting silence give a better response than he could at the moment. If Buck found it odd, like Bobby, he didn’t comment on it. They walked to Brendan’s car again, Eddie going through the motions to get him ready for transit. In that short span of seconds, Eddie hoped his luck might keep his secret safe. That Brendan wouldn’t mention their date.

           He knelt down, waiting for Buck’s signal to lift his legs, when he made the mistake of finally meeting Brendan’s stare. Brendan offered him a tired smile. “This is so not how I expected we’d meet again.”

           …Shit.

           Buck stilled, his hands falling to their sides as he looked to Eddie. “You two know each other?”

           Brendan sighed in the affirmative. “Very intimately.”

           “What…” Buck’s face screwed itself into an expression of confusion, the rainbow wheel in his mind spinning endlessly while he processed Brendan’s innuendo.

           Eddie pounced to fill the awkward silence. “We hung out, once,” he told Buck, “Like, a few days ago, I think? Super casual…”

           “Oh –“

           “Oh,” Brendan interjected, darker than earlier. He coughed, voice straining from the force of it, but he wasn’t deterred. “Oh, really? Hanging out… that’s what you’re calling it?”

           “Uh…” Eddie, taken aback by such an unexpected call out, couldn’t produce more than a few mumbled phrases that didn’t move beyond one syllable nor, when strung together, were comprehensible. Instead he glanced between Brendan and Buck, wasting precious time with silence.

           Brendan, however, formed complete sentences. “So tell me… since I have you, were you even planning on hanging out with me again, or do you leave all your buddies notes like that?”

           In his anger, Brendan shifted and started angling himself towards Eddie. Buck snapped out of his stupor enough to lay a calming hand on Brendan’s shoulder, “Hey! Hey… sir, you need to keep still until we move you.”

           “Sorry, sorry…” Brendan relaxed, albeit his glare was still focused on Eddie. Eddie flinched under the weight of it.

           “I…” Eddie tried, very aware of the sound behind him, of wheels rolling over gravel and measured footsteps. “I was trying to be nice?”

           “Nice?” Brendan spat, “Fuck you, Eddie.”

           “Eddie,” Buck inched closer, drawing Eddie’s gaze from Brendan to him. He spoke softly, like Eddie were one of the many victims they attended to during their careers. Eddie also noted the sharp steeple Buck’s brows, drawn together as if he already filled in the missing gaps of Eddie and Brendan’s story. Shit. “Why don’t you let us handle this?”

           “I…” Eddie found breathing as hard as speaking, managing enough foresight to sharply nod before standing and striding away from Brendan’s car. He passed a curious, concerned Bobby, but ignored his calls. Eddie kept himself tightly wound all the way to the engine. Once he entered, he fell apart. Eddie’s vision blurred, his lungs couldn’t hold enough air, and he melted inside his uniform. All he was able to do before completely shutting down was shoot a quick message to Michael.

           Brendn in acidnt fine but h outd me what do

           Eddie’s grip on his phone tightened considerably when he heard the engine doors open again. Buck slid inside, not meeting Eddie’s wide, panicked stare. There were more doors opening, Bobby and other firefighters climbing aboard. “Hen and Chim are taking that guy to the hospital,” Buck said, “Our work here’s done.” He paused, gnawing on his lip, considering saying more while Bobby slowly pulled them onto the road. “What he said…”

           He missed the rest of Buck’s question. His voice dulled as a sharp ringing in Eddie’s head blocked out every sound around him. Eddie sunk into it, comforted in the simpleness of the noise. He pressed himself against the window, arms crossed over his chest, and watched the scenery blur during their drive to the station.

           Then, when they arrived, Eddie flung the door open and his puddled mass in a jacket spilled free of the engine. He stripped off his uniform in a record-setting pace. And, as he finished, Eddie saw Buck steadily approach, Bobby like a shadow behind him. Both wore similar expressions that warned Eddie of conversations he was not ready for. Because of that, Eddie did something he regret. A course of action so damning it spoke louder than any mangled defense he might put together.

           He hid.

           “Stupid… stupid…” Eddie whacked his phone across his temple, curled into a tight ball outside the building. He snuck through a door in the back, smart enough to not go far but knowing that it’s so rare anyone used this area. It was set aside for the firefighters who smoked, Chimney explained. Those were always a small contingent, never more than one or two per squad. As the years went by, numbers dwindled, and a smoking firefighter became an endangered species. Now, hardly anyone uses this tiny alley that separates the fire house from its adjoining building. Except for Eddie. “I can’t believe I could have such shitty luck…”

           He went to hit himself with his phone again, but a shrill ping cut into his spiraling. Eddie checked his messages – Can I call? It was Michael. He texted back a thumbs up he didn’t mean. Soon his phone shook in his hands.

           Eddie answered, “Hey…”

           “Hi Eddie,” Michael said, tone soft like Buck’s back at the scene. He hated it. Eddie hated how much he wilted because of it, how his nerves started inching away from the edge at the gentle, implied coaxing. “How are you feeling?”

           Eddie barked a short, nasty laugh, wiping beads of sweat off his forehead. “I feel like I’m about to burst into flames.”

           “If you do, at least you’re around people who’ll know what to do.”

           “What if I don’t want them to save me,” Eddie groused, “should I make a break for it before the first spark catches?”

           “Like they wouldn’t race after you…” Michael’s voice trailed, clearly tiptoeing around the words he chose next. “So,” he said, “you ran into Brendan again today?”

           Eddie snorted. “More like some kid ran into his car…” He growled, kneading at his eye with the heel of his hand. “I can’t believe what happened, and how I… how I froze like that. Seriously, what were the odds?”

           “Pretty fucking low,” Michael told him, “But that’s exactly what it was, shit luck. There’s nothing you could have done to not have what happened, happened.”

           “That’s not true,” he sighed, “I could have not gone on that date with him. Or, at least, not let him talk me into his bed.”

           “He’s a charmer.”

           “I had nothing better going on,” Eddie said. He played his words back in his head, silently cursing how brusque they sounded. Was he really the bad guy in this scenario? Brendan hadn’t seem interested in a relationship during their dinner, and Eddie thought his own feelings were on display, too. Buck always said his poker face had more cracks in it than a busted sidewalk. Maybe the note was unnecessary, he can concede. Eddie can’t rewrite history and destroy it, though. “Besides,” he continued, swatting those past regrets away like flies, “Brendan wasn’t all that charming when he outed me, on top of cursing me out in front of the 118.”

           “Man was in a car accident,” Michael reminded Eddie, “He probably had more to worry about than decorum.” Michael coughed across the line, clearing his throat. “That doesn’t excuse what he did.”

           “Yeah,” he said, “I thought it was, like, gay brotherhood that you’re not supposed to out another gay person… or whatever.”

           “I… don’t think he knew. That you weren’t out…” Michael hummed, the noise rattling inside Eddie’s chest. “You’re right, in a way. Any decent gay person wouldn’t out a person before they’re ready. I can’t remember if Derek mentioned your… situation, when setting up the date. I can text him but, Eddie –“ Michael’s sigh caused the line to crackle and break, Eddie shivering as it hit his ear “– Eddie, Brendan and what he might and might not have known isn’t important, isn’t why I called.” Eddie knew. Of course, he knew. “What are you planning on doing next?”

           “That depends,” Eddie mumbled. His free hand tugged on his laces, loosening them slowly. “Do you want to hear what I want to do, or what I’m going to do.”

           “What do you want to do?”

           “Fake mine and Chris’s deaths,” he told Michael, “Start over somewhere new. Maybe on the East Coast, in a small fishing village where I can be a lighthouse keeper and never have to see another person ever again. Just me and Chris and the sea, until Chris leaves or I grow old and die. Whichever happens first.”

           “That’s… dark.” Michael said, “And oddly specific.”

           Eddie shrugged, “I watched the Lighthouse last night. Robert Pattinson jerked it to some mermaid doodle in it. Like… I could do that. Survive off of doodles of hunky mermen, or sailors. Hunky mermen getting it on with sailors… God knows the real thing didn’t work out.”

           “You don’t mean that.”

           “Well, what else can I do?”

           “You can go inside and talk to your friends,” Michael reasoned, “Your team who cares about you, and are most definitely worried because of what happened and how it affected you. Your family, who is ready to accept you for who you are as they always will. But first, you need to trust them and let them in to see who that is.”

           When Michael explained it, the obvious choice also seemed to be the easiest. The tiny seed of doubt, however, planted once Eddie accepted his heart’s leanings and blossomed into a strange bushel of roses with thorny roots strangling his chest, would not let him be. It poisoned his rationality, shredding any confidence Eddie built. “I trust them with my life,” he wondered, speaking barely above a whisper, “why is it so hard to trust them with this? Is it just me?”

           “It’s not you, Eddie,” Michael said. His voice thundered with conviction, startling Eddie. “Believe me, you aren’t the first gay man to feel this way and, unfortunately, you won’t be the last.”

           He sniffed, a wet chuckle escaping past his lips in a raspy breath. “That sucks.”

           “It sure does,” Michael agreed.

           “Does it ever go away?” he asked, “Or… get easier?”

           “I… it’s not a cut-and-dry answer,” he told Eddie, “In some cases, yes. Others… no. It’s situational.” Eddie found this answer unsatisfying. He wasn’t the only one. “Listen,” Michael said, “this might seem scary now, but I, uh – remember that first night. That night you came to my place and confided in me. What did you say?”

           “That I was gay.”

           “Yes…” Michael sucked in a deep breath, hissing his next thought so pointedly it cut through those pesky roots. “Now, imagine you’re me, saying what you said to me, but instead of saying it to me you were saying it to my lovely ex-wife who, at the time, was still my wife, and all this after we’re both a few glasses of wine deep and the kids are asleep.”

           Michael’s past helped put Eddie’s own troubles in perspective. He mentioned as such to him.

           “I don’t want to come off like ‘I had worse’ blah blah,” Michael said, “My point is – you see how good the relationship between Athena and I is. She could have easily kicked me out and then never spoken to me again. But she didn’t. She had every reason to hate me, but she didn’t. Athena loved me when she thought I was straight and continued after learning I was gay. It’s a different sort of love now, and yes, it might have wavered at times, but she stuck by my side like I stuck to hers. Yes, I was scared to tell her, just like you were when you came and told me. Just like you are now. But because I pushed through my fear, I freed us both from being unhappy. Her and Bobby… me and Derek… neither would have happened if I decided to keep my feelings to myself.”

           “Yeah… your life did change…” Eddie rested his head against his knees, remnants of adrenaline from earlier fully fading leaving an exhaustion that set deep into his bones. “I guess that’s what I’m really afraid of. How… acknowledging who I really am, and owning it, how everything will change after.”

           “Eddie, will being gay affect your job?”

           “What?” Eddie yelped, head rising again, neck aching from the whiplash Michael’s unrelated question caused. “No –“

           “Will you being out really make you a completely different, unrecognizable person?”

           “Uh… I – I don’t… no?”

           “Then it sounds like nothing will actually change.” Michael’s tone relaxed and, finally, Eddie let himself do the same. The other man’s speech wrapped around him like a warm blanket. “You didn’t wake up one morning and decide to be gay. It’s something that’s always been a part of you. It’s been there during every call you went out on. You’ll still be Eddie… just a happier Eddie, because you’re allowing yourself to be happy and honest with who you are. That’s what’s important here. Coming out isn’t about other people, it’s about you. You, opening yourself to others to see this part of you, and letting them share in the joy of who you are. And the 118, your friends, will still love you because this… this gay Eddie you have in your mind, is just Eddie. That’s it.”

           Eddie didn’t cry. He wouldn’t be able to hide it, once he went back inside to confront his friends. If they asked, Eddie might mumble a few broken words about allergies then move on. Because he didn’t let his tears fall. “Thanks, Michael,” Eddie said, “I… I’m really grateful for you, being my friend. And that you didn’t turn me away like you should have done when I showed up at your apartment.”

           “I was less afraid of what you’d do,” Michael laughed, “and more afraid what you might do if I didn’t.”

           They ended the call soon enough, with Eddie exchanging a few final pleasantries while Michael’s goodbye was laced with encouragement.

��          Eddie stood, riding the aches of pain that came from unfurling his back out of the tight coil he forced it into. He stretched his arms, pointed high towards the sky. Eddie leaned onto his toes, and even lifted his face to better feel the sun shining above.

           Much too warm for fall.

           Despite the heat and his fears, Eddie returned to the firehouse. He slowly crept inside, alert, gaze bouncing around for a sign of his friends. When he didn’t find them on the first floor, not hovering by the truck and newly returned ambulance or biding time in the gym, Eddie passed faceless co-workers on his way to the stairs. Each step Eddie took sounded like beats from a heavy drum, sounding a funeral march. Eddie kept up the tempo.

           As he climbed higher, his head peeked out and Eddie caught a glimpse of the second floor. Like always, his eyes were drawn immediately to Buck. He, along with Bobby, Hen, and Chim, were huddled around the kitchen island. Eddie watched them converse quietly, briefly, the discussion cutting off because Buck, the one currently speaking, turned and saw Eddie. Buck straightened, body taut and tense like Christopher got after Eddie caught him misbehaving. Eddie wasn’t foolish enough to think they were talking about anything other than him. Buck’s face flickers, flipping through emotions like pages in a book too fast so Eddie can’t read. It settled on a steely façade of determination, Buck readying to move. Before he can, Bobby stopped Buck with one hand on his shoulder. He understood.

           Let Eddie come to them.

           He did, slowly, at his own pace. Eddie settled between Hen and Chimney, both firefighters creating a space for him.

           There’s a beat of silence, the air above the kitchen island so weighty Eddie’s shoulders drooped. He fought against it, taking a deep breath. “Hey.”

           “Eddie,” Bobby spoke first, “how are you doing?”

           Michael advised honesty. That’s what Eddie gave. “I’m a little scared,” he admitted with a laugh, staring intently at a divot in the island’s counter, and how his finger repeatedly traced it. “Okay. A lot of scared.”

           “We’re here for you Eddie,” Bobby said, “Whatever it is.” On either side, his friends reached for him. Hen laid her hand over Eddie’s, crushing it in a loving grip, while Chimney soothingly rubbed his back. Eddie glanced at the men in front of him, Bobby looking encouraging at him while Buck…

           Eddie still can’t decipher what it is Buck tries to show.

           If he thought about it too long, he’d lose all the confidence he gathered to arrive at this point. Eddie swallowed past the lump in his throat, attempting to smile. “Thank you,” he said, “really.” Then, without fanfare, Eddie shrugged and told his friends, “I’m gay.”

           Like that, the next breath Eddie took felt lighter. It was unbelievable. No one said anything, but their love and acceptance were visible in other ways. Eddie was almost brought to tears because of them. He reigned his emotions in, maintaining control. If they stayed like this, however, he’s sure to break.

           Eddie cleared his throat, “That’s all. So if we could…”

           “Not so fast,” Chimney said, smirk tainting their tender moment. His hand slunk across Eddie’s back to his shoulder, clamping down and chaining Eddie there at his side. “There’s still the doctor of it all that’s been unaccounted for…”

           “Chim,” Bobby warned lightly, trying his best to play boss.

           Hen waved him off. “Eddie should have his chance to explain,” she argued, “tell us his side of the story. Lord knows Chim and I got an earful about what that man thought of you, Eddie. Filled the entire drive from the wreck to the hospital.”

           “He had a lot of opinions,” Chimney added.

           Eddie sighed. He expected they might have questions, especially about Brendan. He wasn’t unprepared for this. “I went on one date with the man,” he explained, “something Michael set up –“

           “Michael?” Bobby interrupted, tapping his chest, “My Michael?”

           “He’s not just your friend,” Eddie said, “He… he’s been helping me deal with… with all this. This… being gay, stuff.” He shifted, bending forward to press his chest on the counter. “It was Michael’s idea I go on a date with Brendan, sort of like practice. To get more comfortable being… out, in public, with another man. Personally, I didn’t think the date was that special. Brendan was… he had a lot of personality.”

           “Sure was flexing that… personality, despite all those injuries,” Hen agreed, “Kept going on about this – this note you wrote? What was that about?” Hen might have asked coyly, but it was obvious to Eddie she knew.

           He still answered her. “I was going for nice,” he muttered, “I didn’t want to up and abandon him after we… after he invited me over for the night, and we…” They were at work. Eddie couldn’t say more.

           Nothing else needed saying. Even Buck understood, if his rapidly flushing cheeks meant anything. “Oh,” he said, “so you and him… you two…” His pointer fingers on either hand were extended, slapping each other with wide sweeps.

           Hen choked on a snort, shoving Buck’s hands apart. “They weren’t sword-fighting, Buck.”

           “Yeah, I knew that…” Because of his bashful pout, followed by Buck tucking his head into his chest, Eddie didn’t buy his excuse.

           “Okay,” Bobby steered the conversation elsewhere, “besides us and… Michael… have you told anyone else?”

           Eddie shook his head. “Really?” Buck asked, “Not even Chris?”

           “Especially not Chris…” Some of that earlier fear returned, roosting in his chest like a bird returned north from winter. “I never… I don’t know how I would explain it to him or… how much I would have to explain? Like, if I was a single dad from the start, I’m sure it would be easier. But most of his memories are with me and his mom, and I – I haven’t figured out a way to tell him while also not invalidating mine and Shannon’s marriage, y’know?” Eddie agonized over that near constantly. He loved Shannon, truly, and wanted their marriage to work despite not being attracted to her in the way that mattered. Christopher needed her in his life. If that meant Eddie gave Shannon what she wanted, what Eddie pretended he wanted to, it would have been worth it.

           But, in the end, she still went ahead with the divorce. Shannon was more perceptive than he ever gave her credit for.

           “And then there’s the Ana of it all…” Eddie threw out, offhandedly.

           “Wait,” Buck said, “was that why you broke it off with her? When you told me…”

           Eddie’s breath hitched slightly, and he drummed his fingers against the counterspace. “No,” he said, “I… I didn’t have the realization then. I meant it, about us not clicking and… her being another try at giving Chris a mom. Although, being gay would definitely have played a factor in us not clicking.”

           “That’s for sure.”

           Another wave of silence washed over them, this the most awkward of them all. “If that’s it for questions…” Eddie extricated himself from the group, final shreds of adrenaline fading and leaving him exhausted. His mind already set a course for the bunks, planning a lengthy nap as a reward for his vulnerability.

           “Of course,” Bobby rounded the island, moving closer to Eddie. Buck was on his heels, but hung back on the fringes of the group, a few inches behind Hen and Chimney. “I want you to know how proud I am of you, though. I can’t imagine any of what you had to deal with was easy, and if you need anything from us – keeping this information to ourselves or whatever… let us know. We’ll follow your lead.” He then opened himself for a hug, giving Eddie the option to accept or refuse.

           Eddie sagged into Bobby’s embrace, grateful. “Thank you.” Hen and Chimney joined them, squeezing Eddie tighter and tighter. Only Buck kept his distance. Eddie opened his eyes and noticed the younger man watching them, a glint in his eye that struck Eddie’s nerve. Once the others released him, Eddie confronted Buck. “Hey, are you…”

           “Hmm?” Buck blinked, and what Eddie saw earlier disappeared. It vanished like it never existed. Maybe Eddie imagined it? Regardless, Buck smiled in his usual, too-large-for-his-face way and swept Eddie in a giant hug of his own. “I’m proud, too,” he whispered, “And what Bobby said goes double for me. Anything you need, ask… and I’ll be there.”

           Eddie caught himself before he spoke without thinking. Instead, he returned the hug. He rested his cheek against Buck’s shoulder, humming in acknowledgment of Buck’s promise.

           Buck would do anything for Eddie, as much as he would do anything for Christopher.

           Anything… except what Eddie truly desired from him.

           While baring his soul to the group about his sexuality was one matter, confessing to all his secrets was an entirely different sort he hadn’t felt ready for. He doubted he ever will be. Because if he told Buck the reason why he stopped running from the truth, why he couldn’t deny his feelings after being content in doing so for years, Eddie feared Buck would prove the sickening voices in his head right by leaving him.

           Really, Eddie thought, what else was there to do when you learn your best friend is in love with you?

           So he ignored how Buck’s touch skimmed his lower back, the gentle swaying dance they began by hugging longer than necessary, and, as they drew apart, the struck-match feeling of Buck’s lips brushing the outer edge of his ear.

           There was nothing to read into, he reminded himself. He and Buck were friends. Best friends. Best buddies. Buck had Taylor, and Eddie…

           Eddie had hope. Hope, emboldened by his bout of honesty, that there will come a day he found a man he truly loved to share his life with.

           Even if they weren’t Buck.

[alloftheimaginesblog]

pretty eyes {e.m}

Plot: Eddie's always loved your eyes.

Character: Eddie Munson x Plus Size Reader

part of my eddie munson 'pretty eyes' series!

It wasn't uncommon for Eddie to fall asleep last, he was always awake until the wee hours of the morning whether he be playing guitar quietly or painting his Dungeons and Dragons figures or watching a movie, Eddie Munson was a night owl. It was uncommon however for Eddie to be awake first. Eddie Munson loved to sleep in, he went to bed late and woke up late, however this morning was different. He woke up at the crack of dawn and now he was just waiting for you to wake up; waiting to see those pretty eyes.

He knew that he could've done something productive with his time, caught up on cleaning and studying, learned the riff to the Metallica song he'd been learning or even just showering but he didn't want to. He was quite enjoying just cuddling into your sleeping frame. Something that the majority of people wouldn't know about Eddie was that he loved to cuddle, he always had to be wrapped around you somehow no matter how hot he got. He craved your touch, innocent or not, and even during sleep that didn't change. He was always touching you during the night, a hand round your waist, legs tangled together, holding your hand or shoulders pressed together; he always had to touch you.

This morning Eddie was just appreciating you. Whenever he wanted to look at you, you'd get all flustered and shy and you'd hide and make him promise not to stare but all he wanted to do was stare. You were gorgeous with full cheeks, a perfect nose, a lovely smile and god those eyes. Those goddamn pretty eyes could make him do anything if you asked. You'd point out a million flaws about yourself, your overhanging stomach, your fat thighs, your wobbly arms, your double chin, your chubby cheeks, but Eddie worshipped you. He loved every single thing about you, thought it was so sexy and loved it all because it made you and he adored you.

Eddie loved your body, he loved your curves (especially your thighs, stomach, hips and ass), he loved the way your stomach curved and dipped, loved the way you thighs dimpled, loved the stretchmarks that littered your body from head to toe; he loved every single blemish, mark and imperfection you had and no matter what you said, he'd never stopped.

Over the last few months of dating, Eddie had proved over and over how beautiful he believed you to be, whispering it against your body in the dead of night, calling you gorgeous every five minutes, getting turned on by you just looking up at him (those goddamn pretty eyes) and through Eddie's constant praise, you'd started to see yourself in a different light. It was small steps to self love, you were nowhere near there yet but you were a little closer than you would be had you not been dating Eddie. He helped you see that just because your body was larger and different to most, didn't make you any less beautiful or any less worthy than someone of a smaller frame. He hated that mindset you had, that society had drilled into you, so he vowed to help you change it and slowly, it was working.

Eddie's hand reached out, brushing a stray strand of your hair back behind your ear, as you began to stir and he could already feel the excitement building in his stomach as he willed you to open those pretty eyes of yours. Groggily, your eyes fluttered open and shut as you adjusted to the light before you found yourself staring up at your gorgeous boyfriend, Eddie Munson.

"Could feel you staring at me," you teased, voice croaky and sleepy.

Eddie smiled, "Sorry, Princess, I was just desperate to see those pretty eyes of yours and that gorgeous smile." At that, you giggled. You loved waking up like this, the rarity of it making it even more special to you.

"I'll be a mess, I'm not even awake."

Eddie leaned close, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, "Absolutely perfect, Princess. You're so fucking perfect." And in that moment, as you wrapped around Eddie, wrapped in bed in your little quiet pocket of the world, you believed him.

[scarletttries]

You Are In Love (Eddie Munson x Reader series)

Part Six: Morning, His place

Pairing: Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) x F! Reader

Tags: One mention of food, otherwise nothing to warn about I don't think :)

Word Count: 2k

Author's Note: This is the sixth part of an Eddie Munson series inspired by Taylor Swift's "You Are In Love". Links for other parts on my Eddie Munson Masterlist :) As always please feel free to send me thoughts and headcanons for Eddie Munson or any of the characters in this post <3

Morning, His place, Burnt toast, Sunday

"I swear I'm never gonna get this! Are you sure you don't just wanna give up and do something else?" Eddie pleaded, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and shutting the book in front of him.

"We're almost done, and no I'm not giving up, getting you graduated is a peak girlfriend duty, and one that I do not take lightly." You rebuffed, flipping his book back to the right page and relishing in the small smile that crept across his face at the word; girlfriend.

It had been one month since you taken up that mantle, everything seeming to fall into place effortlessly from that moment onwards. This year Eddie was more determined to graduate than ever, his grades already starting to climb now that you two had your little routine of study dates together. On Sundays Eddie had the trailer to himself so you'd come over first thing, and spend the day trawling through your homework together before he finally succeeded in distracting you with the lure of a movie, or walk, or anything that didn't remind him of school.

"Please can we give up? I already got a B in English last week, if anything you've made me too smart! I'll let you play my guitar, I'll cook for you, anything but more Spanish!" He begged, melodramatically falling to his knees, hands clasped before him.

"You turning toast to charcoal isn't exactly cooking sweetheart. But I am very proud of you for that B, so we can take a break." You conceded, taking his hands from their resting position on your lap and bringing them to your lips. Before Eddie could take advantage of your lapse in focus, a key in the door startled you both, Eddie clambering back into his seat beside you. You watched as a work-worn middle-aged man stepped through the door, Eddie springing to his feet as Wayne's gaze fell over the two of you.

"Wayne!" Eddie greeted, clearly startled and a little caught off guard at having you both in the same room.

"Sorry to interrupt, some machine at the factory is on the fritz so we got shut down for the day." He shrugged as he turned to attention to you, slowly rising from your seat, not quite sure of the appropriate gesture for this introduction,

"Hi I'm (y/n)" you offered warmly, trying to hide the slightly shake of anxiety in your voice, feeling it ease at the genuine smile Wayne offered to you in response.

"Of course, you're the nice girl who won my nephew that giant bear. It's nice to finally meet you. Wayne." He stretched his palm towards you in turn, a less-than-subtle smile thrown Eddie's way as you gave it a firm shake. "I didn't mean to break up your studying," He continued glancing at the mound of books and notes scattered over the little table

"Oh no, it's fine, we're heading out in a minute anyway." Eddie answered quickly. He seemed nervous about the exchange, quickly folding away his notes, eyes fixed to the table as you elaborated,

"Yeah, we're meeting some friends at the movies!" Wayne seemed to accept the excuse more at the mention of further friends, always wary of Eddie feeling like he needed to avoid his uncle, like he was wrong for taking up space in his life and his home. "Eddie, why don't you get changed while I pack up my things?" You prompted to the tense figure beside you, who nodded and headed off as you asked, but couldn't disguise the panic in his eyes at you being left alone with Wayne. As his bedroom door pulled quietly closed Wayne spoke up,

"He hasn't said as much, but I get the feeling you're responsible for more than just the bear in this trailer." You listened intently, unsure of what to make of him, given Eddie didn't speak about his uncle often, "I got a call from the school about Eddie's grades, and this time because they were going up. He's all but set to graduate, they said, and now I find you here studying with him..." You shook your head,

"I can't really take credit for that, Eddie's done all the work himself." You settled onto the chair closest to where Wayne had settled on the couch, lowering your voice to avoid unwanted eavesdroppers. "We both know Eddie's a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for, he just gets down on himself a lot." You tried to choose your words carefully, not wanting to say anything to get off on the wrong foot, "I guess he just needed, for lack of a better expression, his own personal cheerleader, for when things are hard at school. But I know at home he's glad he has you." Wayne smiled at your evaluation, relieved by the loving gaze in your eye as you glanced instinctively in Eddie's direction. He was worried about his nephew when he came home that first night, clutching his bear and wearing the brightest smile Wayne could recall seeing on him. Kids could be cruel, heartbreak even more so at that age, especially when he got the feeling Eddie spent a lot of his time feeling lonely about his place in Hawkins. But meeting you, seeing the thoughtful look in your eye as you spoke about Eddie, the fact that tonight his nephew had plans with friends, normal teenager plans, well it made Wayne feel just a little bit less worried.

"I know Eddie's glad he has you too, he's been a lot happier since-" His thought was cut off by Eddie bursting back out of his room, the involuntary reflex to smile as he saw you not escaping Wayne's attention.

"Hey! I'm ready to go, do you want to-" He gestured towards the bathroom as you rose from your seat,

"Yeah, let me just fix my makeup." You said softly, your hand grazing over Eddie's arm as you walked past him to the back of the small but lived-in home.

"We'll get out of your way," Eddie told Wayne apologetically, rubbing the back of his neck as his uncle seemed to look at him with more focus than usual,

"You're not in my way son, this is your home too." Wayne patted beside him on the coach, not much more comfortable than Eddie who seemed to glance around before perching beside him, like he might have been motioning to someone else. "I like (y/n)," Wayne continued, Eddie's lips twitching at the sound of your name, unsure how anyone could meet you and not be captivated,

"I like her too." Eddie offered up sincerely, surprised at the growing joy inside him that his little family had been introduced, even if by accident.

"I can tell. You've been a lot happier lately. That's all I ever really want for you, you know. And (y/n) looks at you like she wants the same thing, like she cares. She's a keeper." Wayne nodded resolutely, placing his hand on Eddie's shoulder and giving him a firm squeeze as he rose to his feet. Eddie felt taken aback by the brief show of affection; he knew Wayne cared about him, took him in when no one else would, never gave him shit about his grades or the town gossip, but for the first time Eddie really felt like he wanted to let him in, like they could be more than two individuals who share a space.

You stepped out of the bathroom with a chirp of 'ready', snapping Eddie out of his contemplative trance and rousing him from his perch. Wayne watched warmly as again his nephew beamed at your return to his side, the sun seeming to rise for him every time the two of you were in the same room.

"It was nice to meet you Wayne, I hope you have a nice rest of the day off." You gave a friendly waved as you pulled the trailer door open, stepping out into the cold and giving Eddie a final moment with his uncle,

"I'll be home a little late," Eddie started drawing a hearty chuckle from Wayne, not used to seeing Eddie act like any other high schooler,

"Don't worry about it, just make sure you both get home safe." He shut the door behind him, leaving Eddie standing on his front step and wondering if this is what family feels like.

---

"Munson! I heard you insisted we see a horror?" Robin called out excitedly spotting you both across the cinema foyer, sly smile on her face threatening to give away her own ploy.

"Buckley, you gotta keep that quiet or (y/n) will figure I'm only here in the hopes she'll hold my hand when she's scared." He replied in falsely hushed tones, echoing Robin's own words from when she excitedly planned this double date. "Hi Vickie, I'm glad you're here, when it's just (y/n) and Robin I think they sometimes forget I'm even here." Eddie greeted warmly, earning a slap on the arm from Robin before she threw an arm over your shoulder, gasping in shock,

"Well if you're going to be like that I might just have to steal my best friend back from your clutches."

"Okay, okay. Why don't you two go save our seats and work out your differences while Vickie and I get popcorn?" You offered diplomatically, stealing Vickie away for a bit of subtle interrogation while your dates slunk off toward the screen, circling one another like they might tackle each other to the ground at any moment, before Eddie surrendered to hold the door open for Robin. As they stepped into the dimly lit hall, Eddie let Robin step in front of him, leading them confidently to the back row of the almost empty screen.

"Don't worry Buckley, I know you'll always hold the best friend title for (y/n)." Eddie offered in defeat, the low cinema lighting not quite enough to hide his crimson blush at the sentiment.

"Thanks Eddie, and I'm sure (y/n) knows she can't compete with the many children you hang out with." Robin replied jokingly, sinking into a seat and sliding off her jacket. As Eddie settled beside her, contemplating who from Hellfire would hold that mantle, she added, "but just between you and me, I think you're alright."

On reflex Eddie leaned over, bashing his shoulder against hers to nudge her slightly, unsure of what else to say to acknowledge their budding friendship. Even though always these new hopeful shoots had sprouted over time, it felt like all in one day he had looked up and realised the land around him no longer stood barren. He had never felt more surrounded by warmth and life, never more cared for as he did when you and Vickie stepped through the doors beside him. The notion of being at a movie with his friends, a girlfriend, one his uncle had been so pleased to meet: it made him feel both incredibly normal, and extraordinarily happy. Like maybe he hadn't been as alone as he felt in the first place, he just hadn't looked around and seen what was always within his reach.

The noise of the projector began to rattle behind him as the lights dipped lower, an apprehensive silence settling over the screening as images began to spring to life in front you. You leant over, gently resting your head on his denim-clad shoulder and settling a hand on his bicep, as comfortable in his company as if you'd never been apart. As he stared down at you, watching the lights flickering in your eyes, he thought about what Wayne had said, about how much happier he'd been lately and how you looked at him like you cared.

As if to prove his uncle right you tilted your head, eyes gazing up at Eddie, gracing him with a soft smile that had his heart racing in his chest even in the dark. He returned the affectionate look, before forcing himself to glance at the screen, hoping that even with the lights out you could see it for what it meant.

He cares too.

You Are In Love taglist:

@lacrymosa-24 @aftermidnightwriting @fluttergirl1202 @tayhar811 @souls-rain @neewtmas @kimmi-kat @wintrrrsoldier @dylanmunson @sidthedollface2

@eddiemunson95 @mistiatmosphere @omgsquee2001

[cicimunson]

Dollhouse Part 7

Chapter Summary: You and Eddie settle into a routine together. Billy makes an appearance and things get out of hand. You defend Eddie from Jason and his friends.

(Series Summary, Pairings and Characters listed on Part 1)

Warnings: Violence, mentions of blood, a minor is injured (from a fall), profanity, PG-13 situations. (I think that’s all, please let know if I missed anything.

Work Count: 1.7k+

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 8

You and Eddie settle into a routine that’s almost domestic. You get up and feed the girls, and then he takes them to school and brings them home, along with your homework. You decided not to go back to school until your face healed completely. The teachers think you have the flu.

Then it’s homework with the girls, getting them fed, Eddie doing the dishes after you cook while you make sure the girls bathe and brush their teeth before bed.

Wayne gets up to eat and leaves for work, and the girls sleep in his room. You tuck them in then sit down to catch up with your schoolwork. You and Eddie watch a movie afterwards, and the past three nights you’ve fallen asleep in his arms on the couch.

It’s been like this for almost a week now. You worry that you and your sisters are going to wear out your welcome but Wayne and Eddie are incredibly hospitable. 

“Don’t worry.” Eddie had reassured you when you brought it up. “My uncle loves having you here. You cook and clean and your sisters are good kids.”

You had dropped it after that, but the thought still lingered in the back of your mind.

You and Eddie are sprawled out on the couch, watching some scary movie he’d put on. His hand draws lazy circles on your calf, after having pulled your legs into his lap.

Eddie barely watches the movie. His eyes keep drifting over to your face.

He’d never admit to anyone but his uncle, but he liked this situation you two had going on currently. Before Wayne he’d never had a good home life, and even after he’d moved in with him he was lonely. Wayne slept during the days and worked nights. He tried to make time for Eddie, of course, but work had to come first to support them.

It was why Eddie had gotten involved in dealing in the first place. So he could buy his own clothes, his own records, fix his van himself, and Wayne could work a little less.

He’d never had siblings but he’d gotten attached to your sisters. Max was sassy and had good taste in music and Sarah was sweet, albeit a little loud and always sticky.

But his attachment to you was what surprised him. He found himself craving your presence. You soothed something in him he didn’t know needed soothing. He wasn’t used to someone caring if he’d eaten or had clean clothes. He wasn’t used to someone pushing him to study and do his homework. He wasn’t used to someone giving a damn about him.

His eyes flicker over to your face once more. Your forehead had a tiny scar, no doubt from one of Billy’s rings. Eddie wanted to kiss it, to smooth away the worry on your face that seems permanently etched there.

His hand tightens on your calf and you moan a little protest, your eyes drifting shut.

“Someone’s sleepy.” He teases.

“Mhm.”

“You know we don’t have to sleep on the couch every night. I have a bed big enough for both of us.”

“Of course he’s trying to get me into bed.” You mumble.

“I’m just saying. We’ve been squeezing on this couch together the past three nights.”

“That’s because you keep falling asleep in here.”

“Come on. I know you’re sore from sleeping on this crap couch. Stop being such a martyr.”

You kick at him playfully, but get up and follow him down the hall, crawling into bed. He was right, the couch was scratchy and you could feel springs digging into you when you tried to sleep.

Eddie lays down beside you, careful not to touch you. Sure, you two had cuddled up on the couch and slept, but cuddling in bed together was a whole different thing.

At least he thought it was. You slung an arm and a leg over him, laid your head on his shoulder, and were fast asleep within minutes.

The next morning you wake up to someone shouting and a banging noise. You sit upright quickly, straining to hear.

“Y/N!”

Max’s voice makes your blood run cold. You sprint down the hall into the living room. Max is in the corner, holding Sarah as she screams. You can see blood on her shirt. 

“Oh my God what happened? What happened?”

“Billy’s outside!”

Oh God, how did he find us?

You can hear a loud commotion outside. 

Max looks horrified. “Eddie is gonna kill him. Go. I’ve got Sarah.”

You sprint out the door. Eddie has Billy on the ground, punching him repeatedly.

For a split second you’re stunned. You don’t know what to say. Finally you start yelling.

“Eddie! That’s enough! Stop!”

Eddie throws one more punch and climbs off him. “If you ever come around here again, I’ll kill you." 

Billy is laying on the ground, blood sputtering from his mouth as he breathes heavily. You can smell the booze from where you’re standing. He manages to get up and stumble to his car. You watch him drive away before going back inside.

Max is holding a wet rag to Sarah’s lip.

"Did he hit her?”

If he did I’m going to kill him. I will literally beat him to death with my bare hands.

Max shakes her head. “He barged in acting like we would be happy to see him. He tried to pick Sarah up but she tripped and fell getting away from him. Hit her mouth on the coffee table.”

“And Eddie?”

“He lost it when he saw Sarah bleeding.”

You smooth Sarah’s hair and kiss her forehead. 

She must have been terrified. She and Max don’t deserve this shit. I’m failing them.

You walk down the hall into the bathroom. Eddie is cleaning the blood from his hands, a pained look on his face.

“Are you okay?”

“Is Sarah okay?”

“She’s fine.” You reassure him.

“I’m sorry they saw me lose my temper like that. But that son of a bitch barged into my home drunk as hell and grabbed Sarah. When she fell I couldn’t see straight. I wanted to kill him.”

“We’re gonna have to ice your hands. Your knuckles are so swollen.”

“I’m fine.”

“Who’s being a martyr now?” You murmur.

“I really am okay. Thank God he was drunk.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not an idiot, Y/N. If he was sober he’d have beaten me to a pulp.”

“You would have fought him anyway.”

“He deserved it for what he’s done to you and the girls. I should have killed him.”

You glance up at him. “You really care about us, huh?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

You kiss him then, just a little peck on the lips to say thank you. Eddie smiles softly.

“Let’s get out of here today. Take the girls to the park or something.” He suggests.

“Sounds great.”

A little bit later you’re sitting on a bench watching Eddie push Sarah in a swing while Max practices skateboard tricks.

It tugs on your heart strings to see Eddie being so good to your sisters. You knew they could be annoying and you figured they would have gotten on his nerves by now but Eddie was incredibly patient with them. More than you, sometimes.

He comes over to you with Sarah on his shoulders. “She wants ice cream.”

“She hasn’t had lunch yet.”

Sarah pouts.“Ice cream!”

Eddie laughs. “Yeah, Y/N, ice cream!”

You roll your eyes but fail to suppress your smile.

“It’s two against one. Three against one when Max hears.”

“Fine. You win.”

He grins. “I always do.”

__________

The four of you are tucked into a corner booth, you trying to keep Sarah from getting ice cream everywhere, Eddie stealing the cherries from your sundae. Even Max is in a good mood, laughing as you dodge Sarah’s sticky fingers.

The bell above the door rings and your good mood dissipates as Jason and his friends walk in. Eddie scowls and squeezes your hand under the table.

Jason’s friend Eric saunters over. “See you got your van fixed, freak. Was wondering what had happened to it.”

Before Eddie can say anything, you’re on your feet. Max immediately covers Sarah’s ears, knowing you’re about to let all kinds of curse words fly.

“It was vandalized by some stupid assholes. Really dumb motherfuckers. The kind of motherfuckers that try to start shit in front of little girls.” You gesture to your sisters.

Jason approaches.

“Speaking of.” You mutter and Eddie has to stifle his laughter.

“Can we talk for a minute, please?”

“What about? How you tricked me into believing you were a good person? How you vandalized Eddie’s van and lied to me?”

“Y/N.”

“Oh, I know! How you called me a bitch and left me to walk home in the rain?”

“You’re the one that got out of my car and walked off.”

“Because you lied to me about trashing Eddie’s van.” You hiss through clenched teeth.

“I didn’t realize you cared so much about the freak.”

“Well, I do. So you can fuck off, Jason.”

You sit back down and tuck yourself in Eddie’s side, snatching one of the cherries off his sundae. 

“Come on man, it’s not worth it.” Patrick calls from the counter.

Jason and Eric walk away.

Eddie smirks at you. “Look at you, defending the freak from your jock friends. Time certainly changes things.”

“They are NOT my friends, Eddie. Not anymore.”

He studies your face. “And you’re okay with that? Siding with me over them?”

“You’re worth ten of them.”

He looks surprised, then grins. “So are you.”

That night you tuck the girls in and head into the kitchen where Eddie is rinsing the dishes up.

To his surprise and honestly yours too, you wrap your arms around his waist and lay your head on his back.

“You good?”

“Yeah. Just sorry about all the drama today. The girls don’t deserve it and neither do you.”

He turns and lays his cheek on top of your head. “They had ice cream and played in the park. They had fun today. You’re doing the best you can for them, some kids don’t even get that.”

Once again you know he’s talking from personal experience, but you don’t pry or ask questions. Instead you step back and peck his lips, then change the subject.

“I hope you have a good movie picked out for tonight.”

He grins. “Absolutely.”

[duskdrawings]

Okay so Ronance has officially summoned the fanfiction writer in me (after a year or so of not writing anything) and now my brain has just become a vessel for Ronance prompts to bounce around in and I have a bunch of ideas that I'm hoping to write for them so I just wanted to compile a list in case anyone was interested or had any ideas/suggestions! These aren't all fully finished ideas yet but I'm currently giving them plenty of thought (as I'm finding myself unable to think of much else besides these two 😂)

Fics will be mostly Ronance centric, possibly with side ships in a few but definitely with Ronance as the main focus/main ship.

Band AU:

•Could either be set in modern times or in the actual years of ST, I've not fully decided.

•Either one large multi-chapter fic or lots of random one chapter fics inside a series.

• The band starting out being a duo consisting of Steve and Robin who were messing about and decided to start a band (And they want to impress Eddie and Nancy).

•Stuck between two ideas: one idea involves Eddie and Nancy eventually joining the band OR the other idea has them just becoming their biggest fans and always cheering them on and watching them practice and things like that and Eddie could still be in his own band whilst Nancy is studying into journalism and could write articles on the band's performances?

-If the fruity four were in the band together:

Eddie: Lead Guitar (pretty obvious choice really 😂)

Nancy: Bass (I feel like Nancy could rock a bass). And possibly keyboard if it's part of the song.

Robin: Main vocals and rhythm guitar? And bits of brass if the song includes it because of her band kid background. (I recently heard Maya Hawke's song 'Thérèse' and just love the idea of Robin singing. And Robin starts out as the main guitarist before Eddie joins).

Steve: Drums? (I just like the idea of Steve on the drums).

(Could potentially swap Robin and Nancy's rhythm guitar and bass around as I'm not fully sure about those yet).

They could all do vocals on different songs as I feel like they would all have amazing voices but Robin acts as the main vocalist. They play all sorts of genres to suit each other's tastes. Steve and Robin writes songs for Eddie and Nancy when they are just a duo.

•Main ship would be Ronance and a bit of Steddie

•A little bit of jealousy flares up when Nancy/Eddie see Steve and Robin with fans or Robin with Vickie. I just love the idea of Nancy being jealous and Robin calming her down when she finds out but being touched that Nancy was getting jealous over her.

---

Modern AU:

•Probably lots of random one-chapter fics set in modern times where the gang are just vibing and being gay.

•One where Robin is an avid gamer and likes it when Nancy joins in and plays with her. Especially with Mario Kart. Robin usually wins but Nancy doesn't mind as she enjoys seeing Robin being all happy and celebrating - but she secretly wants to beat her at something so she trains at a game and then smugly beats her.

•One where the whole gang go to Pride (because let's face it, Hawkins is a whole entire fruit fest. And the ones that are straight are huge allies and come by to support their friends) This fic will probably be less specifically Ronance centric so I can write for all the characters but they'll definitely still be together and being cute. The people who are more knowledgeable on all identities/sexualities teach the ones who know less/are questioning.

Not fully set on everyone's labels yet but here's what I've got so far:

Robin: Lesbian (canon)

Nancy: Bisexual or Lesbian (she gives me HUGE struggling with comphet vibes)

Steve: Bisexual with female lean

Eddie: Gay

Jonathan: Pansexual? Nonbinary? (There's just something about Nonbinary Jonathan that makes my heart happy) Questioning?

Argyle: Pansexual or just doesn't use labels but is attracted regardless of gender

El: Lesbian? Asexual? Pansexual? Questioning? (I have way too many thoughts on El 😂)

Mike: Bisexual or Straight??

Will: Gay (pretty much canon at this point)

Max: Bisexual

Lucas: Straight

Dustin: Bisexual or Straight or Questioning???

Hopper: Straight

Joyce: Straight?? (Joyce would make a killer lesbian, I just know it but I'll probably just say she's straight 😂)

Murray: Gay (this matchmaking king totally likes dudes)

Some are working out their pronouns.

Possible ships: Ronance, Steddie, Jargyle, Jopper, Byler and either Elmax or Lumax and possible mentions of Duzie. (Definitely Ronance though).

---

Coffeeshop or Diner or Ice-cream Parlour AU:

•A true classic where one of them works at either a coffee shop, diner or ice-cream parlour and the other is a customer (because you can't beat the classics!)

•Most likely set in the same years as ST is but just without all the monsters and Upside Down stuff

•Robin will most likely be the one who works and Nancy will be the customer.

•Nancy is a regular at this place but keeps finding excuses to go back after Robin starts working there because she likes Robin. Even takes friends there to try and see what they think of her.

---

Robin getting trapped in the vines:

•One chapter, just something short and self-indulgent as I always wished it was just Robin who got caught so we could see how Nancy and Steve reacted to almost losing her.

•Focuses on Robin, Nancy and Steve. But Robin is the only one to get trapped in the vines.

•Gets rid of that conversation between Steve and Nancy about him wanting Nancy to be the mother of his six lil nuggets because no.

•Basically a rewrite of some of the scenes in season 4 episode 9.

---

Graduation fic:

•One chapter

•Most likely angsty unrequited love but part of me just wants to make our girls get together in everything so I'll see how much gay stuff I can throw in for them both.

•Set in a graduation after-party in the school gym after the events of season 4 - except Eddie is alive and Vecna is dead and defeated and Hawkins is saved. And for all intensive purposes, we're just saying that everyone is graduating at the same time and is in the same year.

•Characters involved are: Robin, Nancy, Steve, Eddie and Jonathan.

•Everyone has a partner/clearly soon will be with someone except Robin and Robin is pining for Nancy.

•Nancy either single or with Jonathan?

•Steve possibly with Eddie?

---

Nancy figures out she likes girls:

•Maybe one chapter or perhaps a few chapters?

•Basically Nancy is having a huge gay crisis and doesn't know what to do and goes to Robin about it and Robin helps her figure herself out.

•A very jokey and light-hearted fic.

•Nancy either bi or lesbian (who suffered with major comphet) but either way, Nancy is a total mess for women. Robin Buckley in particular.

•Completely Ronance centric

---

Dates:

•Several one-chapter fics of Ronance basically just going on dates and being cute and gay

•Unsure whether to make modern or set in the past

-Cinema (Robin getting really invested in the film and whispering little facts and observations to Nancy throughout, they secretly hold hands during tense parts, Nancy finds herself staring at Robin lots and missing parts of the film).

-Sleepover (Them giggling together under the covers, one of them staring at the other whilst they sleep, them sharing a bed and keeping each other safe and warm and cosy and warding off any nightmares. Also I headcanon that Robin hasn't really been over to anyone's house since she was really young so she's really flattered when Nancy invites her over).

-Buying presents for each other (they both want to get each other something special and wrack their brains for the perfect gift and they just think about how much they love each other and all the things they love about them. Super cute and fluffy and soft girlfriends).

-cafe/coffee shop (cute lesbians sharing sweet treats!)

-Fun fair (Robin wanting to be tough and strong for Nancy and win her gf a prize and Nancy teasing Robin as she continues to fail but she makes it better by giving Robin a kiss)

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Vampire AU:

•Robin being turned into a vampire. Either she gets ambushed by a random vampire one night or I'm wondering whether to make her get close to another character (possibly Vickie or someone completely different) and it's because of them that she gets turned. Then the fics/fic involves Robin navigating being a vampire and possibly trying to look for a cure? With the gang finding out and being supportive, Nancy being the most protective of all.

•Multiple one chapter fics in a series or a big multi-chapter fic.

•One involves Nancy finding out. Robin tried to hide it from her to keep her safe but Nancy gets suspicious and is either with Robin when she turns or follows Robin and sees her turn/get into a fight or confronts her.

•One could involve Nancy caring for Robin after something goes wrong. (I'm a sucker for some good hurt/comfort) Robin is initially scared of being around the gang because she doesn't want to hurt them so Nancy.

•Robin saves Nancy from being hurt by other vampires, she's hella protective of her gf and that causes her to get braver when other vampires cause trouble.

•Robin would definitely want to be a "vegetarian vampire" and not feed on humans but gets forced to at one point and causes her to have a big crisis.

•Ronance centric (possibly with a few side ships?)

---

Some of these are only loose ideas and may alter slightly during the writing stage. If anyone has any suggestions or more prompts/ideas that they'd really like to see or just wants to discuss Ronance/Stranger Things then don't be afraid to hit me up! I don't really write NSFW but could potentially include a few slightly risqué moments if desired. I've already begun planning and some I've already started writing so they are in the works and I'm really excited to see where all these ideas go and to just add more Ronance fanfiction out into the world! I just love the idea of getting Ronance right near to the top/to the top of the most popular Stranger Things ships on AO3 because they really are so amazing together and throughout my years of shipping in fandoms, Ronance has pulled me in in a way no other ship ever has.

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

Companions react to sole somehow getting the internet to work? She only has a few computers up and its not as fast as they used to be, but hey the data is still there! Shes got games, BookFace, even TubeTube!

This was such a cute one!!! Awesome request, anon! 🥰💙💛

Cait - Does not really understand the big deal about the entire thing. She starts trying to use the internet, and she very quickly grows aggravated with how slow it moves and she does not really enjoy using it. Therefore, she is extremely dismissive when everyone else is talking about how wonderful it is.

Piper - Is beside herself with enthusiasm, and she eagerly starts looking into politics of the old days. In her search, she soon finds herself of Tok-Tik, and she finds quite a bit of information about truths about the American government. She avidly looks at all of the videos, but she makes sure not to let it totally run her life. She still dutifully takes care of her sister and makes sure that she is up to date on Commonwealth events. She just looks on Tok-Tik in the evenings when she has time to look.

Curie - Is absolutely thrilled and excitedly spends quite a bit of time on the Internet in an attempt to absorb as much information as possible. Her personal favorite is TubeTube. All of the informational videos on there totally fascinate her, and she studies them for quite some time. She binge-watches so much medical videos that F!Sole ends up having to remind her about her work in the Commonwealth. She then starts to balance her time on the internet and her time in the real world, and she is soon quite well-versed in a variety of topics and can offer even more medical assistance to F!Sole and the rest of the group.

MacCready - Is in love as soon as he starts to use it. He plays tons of games on it, but his favorite thing of all to do is to watch TubeTube episodes of popular superhero cartoons. He could watch that for hours, and he becomes very knowledgeable about different heroes and spends a long time sharing the lore and whatnot with F!Sole.

Deacon - Is an absolute fiend as soon as he starts to use it. He is on BookFace all the time looking at the drama of days gone by. He also goes and interacts with some foreign accounts that are still up and running in areas that were not bombed. He loves to create drama and troll any pages that he finds to be inappropriate or less than moral.

Codsworth - Is very pleased that a piece of Pre-War life has been brought to this new world. He does not use it himself, but he does occasionally watch F!Sole play games on the computer. He is particularly fond of one game where she can play as a wide variety of different cartoon and video game characters while also having them do all sorts of insane dances. It was a kids' game, but he still rather likes it.

Hancock - Loves it for a variety of reasons. He loves all of the music that he can get on holotapes and he loves the games of online poker. Granted, there was no one to play with except the computer AI, but he loves it nevertheless. It's like regular poker but without the possibility of losing all of his caps.

Danse - Is fascinated and very excited about it. He eagerly is looking on TubeTube for tutorials about fixing up power armor and adding special mods to it. He is also looking at tons of other mechanic videos that give tutorials on a variety of things such as putting together cars and even how to craft awesome mods for guns. He also likes looking at the tribute videos to veterans and war heroes. He would never admit it, but they bring a bit of tears to his eyes.

Preston - Thinks it is amazing and he asks F!Sole to download patriotic music onto holotapes so Radio Freedom can blast the inspirational music throughout the Commonwealth. That is the primary reason that he wants to use the internet, and he absolutely loves to hear all the old tunes celebrating America and patriotism.

Valentine - Thinks it is very interesting, and he looks on the internet for any unsolved cases from the past that he might could get access to. He enjoys pondering over them and wondering if there could be the slightest possibility that some of these bad guys could still be alive. After all, Eddie Winter was still kicking after all these years.

X6-88 - Seems to be completely unimpressed when looking at the surface. However, on the inside, he is really quite interested. When he thinks no one is around, he is looking on TubeTube and many other websites. However, when he discovers cat videos on TubeTube, he is completely in love and binge-watches tons of them every night when most people around are asleep.

Dogmeat - Does not like how this new convenience takes up so much of everyone's time. He wants more attention than what he's getting. However, he soon realizes that there is merit in being able to just lay his head in people's lap as they sit and look at the devices. He gets a lot of pets that way.

Strong - Does not understand the significance of it. It is not anything sitting right in front of them, so he finds it to be rather pointless. Why concentrate on something that is not even real? He is soon aggravated by the entire thing and wants to smash all the computers that have this internet on them.