#eddie sad

[eddieangel]

It's so weird watching that guy win cus... goddamnit. It feels like everyone is mourning their lives.

Stay strong. You're still standing. Stay strong.

[eddieangel]

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS! I just need to put my thoughts somewhere.

I'm having a horrible month, and an ever worse week but today was just... extra.

God strike me dead soon please.

I sorta regret... backing out from that. It's one of my biggest regrets actually. I was afraid it wasn't going to work and i would have terrible side effects for all my life but. I really did want to go. I do want to go. I just don't want to stay in a worse state.

Or maybe i do. Maybe if i do i'll be allowed to exist without the same expectations as everyone else. Maybe if i do i won't cry and hit myself because "oh god i just wrote three lines this is just too much". Maybe i'll remember to brush my teeth which i haven't done in two days or take a bath because it is just too humid here and i'm sweating bullets but can't take a bath or maybe i'll be allowed to be myself and smile and have fucking crutches and wheelchairs to one of the worst medical pains ever.

I miss when the pain wasn't constant. I miss when the tired wasn't too much. I'm so sad.

I want to go, not because i'll never be well but because i want to be me without my body falling apart at every moment and that's impossible.

Maybe it doesn't get better, maybe it IS a lie. Maybe i'll get worse and worse forever.

I don't know, it hurts.

[eddieangel]

I cant find my compresision socks im heavy mental fog an small rn hurt i hvave stuff to do im so tired im to tiredb so so tirnsd

[eddieangel]

She is upset. She's sad and i can't fix it. I want to take care of her, i want to be helpful to stop her from hurting.

I asked for a week, she said yes. It'll be alright. She has so much love in her heart so it'll be alright.

I'll take care of her, i'll make sure she's alright

[eddieangel]

Y'know. Maybe going to ballet during a flsre up ISN'T A GOOD IDEA. Huh.

"Courage" i say, as future me screams "stupidity" at the top of their lungs.

[eddieangel]

◇ WELCOME TO THE EDDIE BLOG!

☆ about me!

I'm eddie! I'm a disabled, medium needs autistic person with paranoia and chronic pain and fadigue.

I'm brasilian!! And proud!!

I have very bad brain fog and do not speak english naturally so i'm sorry for any spelling mistakes!

I don't want children on my blog, it does not mean i think less of any of you! I just don't think this is the right space.

My favourite colors are pink and orange!

I'm an bisexual enby boy! My pronouns are he/they/bear/angel!

I am a religious neopagan hellenic polytheist, even if i don't speak much about it. I'm specially connected with my god Dionysus!

I'm a recently discovered posic and objectum as of 2024, i age regress sometimes as a sfw coping mechanism, i do furry content for myself but mostly don't post it.

Everyday of every month is halloween for me!

I enjoy doing art and literature, most of which i do not post unless it's fandom!

I reblog like crazy, but i do add to the posts from time to time.

Please please dm me! Let's be buddiez!!!

☆ here you'll find...

■posic and objectum content!

■fandoms such as pressure, the toxic cesspit, dreams of an insomniac, sonic the hedgehog, mlp, cult of the lamb, resident evil and other horror games, minecraft, fnaf, studio ghibli, friday night funkin, fullmetal alchemist, percy jackson, a24's movies, creepypasta, hello kitty and sanrio, vocaloid, invader zim, mitski, the crane wives, tf2, gravity falls, better half, homestuck AND OTHERS!

■lgbtq+ discussions

■illness, disorder and disability discussions

■memes, shitposts and dumb shit

■current state of the political and social scene aswell as identity discussion

■late 2000s to early 2010s media and fashion (i'm one of those)

■VERY rare art

■dogboy stuffz

☆ Do not follow list -

▪anti-otherkin or anti-furries, anti-posic or objectum, anti-neopronouns, anti-agere anti-xenopronouns, anti-mogai or anti-gender hoarders.

▪16-, zoo, pedo or incest apologists, proship, radqueers and transids, terfs and transphobes, homophobes, xenophobes and racists.

■ cluster-b/schizophrenia/paranoia/psychosis abuse believers, anti-endogenic systems, anti-self diagnosis, ableists and the such.

■(or not. You can follow me but i will shadow block/straight up block you depending on who you are)

[eddieangel]

I'm gettig worse. Physically i mean, i've aways been shit mentally but like- idk i've been getting worse for a while now but this is the first time i really think about it? I haven't told anyone yet, other than tumblr ofc.

I don't really care to be honest, it's not like i've never struggled with my health, but it's a bit bothersome because i'm studying for an important test that will probably change the course of my life and i can't do that AND do my chores so i'm half assing the laundry and the dishes and ignoring everything else.

Uuugh illnesses suck, fml