#easy remedy
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One of the commissions I received last year introduced me to the utterly amazing game, Control, which I cannot recommend enough! In that game I fell in love with Dr.Darling, who you get to know through various recorded videos and text, and ugH I CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF MY MIND (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
I'm just utterly obsessed! Ooooh god if we don't get more of him in Control 2 I'm going to rIOT- Speaking of said commission, I've just finished one part of it! A whole sketch page of Dr.Darling and Jesse~ which i'm about to post! (Another wonderful client who waited an age and a half 9w9") The 2nd part is a NSFW sketch page, which will eventually be posted onto my patreon~
Then there will be more because oh my god I haven't been able to stop thinking about this amazing game, it's world and the remedy-verse as a whole!
#Control#control remedy#control game#Dr.Darling#Casper Darling#dr. casper darling#dr. darling control#okkennymay#I'm so going to make prints of this and have someone sell them for me at conventions one day#There's not a single portrait of this beautiful man out there and damn it I had to change that#it wasn't easy the only reference shots i could find where not of the highest quality 9w9" A crime I say#I need about 100000 more images and gifs of darling please and thank you#....i may have a folder already filled with every single one I could find like a dragon hoarding treasure
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The urge to replay Control... she grows stronger everyday...
#remedy control#so many gorgeous pictures and gifs of it on my dash lately... I'm not strong enough...#it's such an easy game to replay... Jesse I miss you...
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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i think my avoidant attachment style might be the death of me actually
#i’m difficult to love i know this#i’m easy to love but loving me is a whole other story. sorry! lol#unfortunately i’m also chilling and will do nothing to remedy this bc so far it’s working for me#other than the slight loneliness
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really tragic there was a whole complex fan project to make a xena themed cookbook that while totally insane is completely lacking in two vital xena cookbook concepts which is one a hippie friendly sprouted seeds and nut bread edible for those so insane and health minded they would never let a brownie touch their lips and also as tribute to gabrielle eating the drugged nut bread that makes u gayer in altared states and then a drink that can be served with or without alcohol thats like a mix of every single juice you have in your cupboard called xenas juices subheading can we cook with your juices ok bows and scurries away
#still so fascinated this was ever a project since i struggle to imagine a show worse suited to a fandom cookbook#as the characters both eat almost exclusively campfire fish and like bread#and due to its totally insane timeline and location hopping one cannot attempt the other#easy out for making a fandom cookbook especially for fantasy series and just#look up recipes from a referenced time period totally unrelated ot the original material#and even if u tried to nail it down to 2000+ years ago in greece there simply are not many recipes that survive lol#tho my one note is that in the bullshit herbal remedy portion would have been way funnier#if it had like random quotes from like galen and told people how to reduce their choleric disposition
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obviously sucks that jerma's having health issues and we wish him the best but also him coming back after not streaming for nearly two months and going on genuinely unhinged rants is so fucking funny. why did he do the singing bit for so long. why did he talk about mario becoming a greek god for so long. every time he laughed he sounded like he was genuinely in pain
#also the game he decided to play LMAO#he was like “alright guys im gonna be taking it easy” and then played a game he got genuinely intense about#also chat suggesting medications/remedies for him to try. our favorite was someone recommending estrogen#confluence.txt#jerma
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I didn’t notice this before in the Control AWE dlc but I love that there’s a stack of cans (Ahma beer!) in the Bright Falls room like the random ones in the first game
#I would say that I also knocked this stack of cans over#but Jesse is so powerful that she punched a hole in the wall and sent those cans flying 😭#control 2019#control remedy#alan wake 1#(person who’s only played Alan Wake and sees cans of beer) Alan Wake reference?#Just finished this dlc btw. I’m planning on finishing side quests but otherwise done#this was fun although I still wish this dlc was better overall#the Hartman final fight was SO easy this time but I died immediately after#because hiss spawned in 😭😭😭 I can’t stand the random enemy spawning sometimes#awe dlc#‘can pyramids’ pyramid? inverted pyramid? just like the boar—#this detail is probably obvious to Real Alan Wake Fans but I genuinely didn’t notice. too distracted by the cute miniature town
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Chapter 5 of Kill your Darlings | Dr Casper Darling x Tom Zane
Casper dives headfirst into the films Tom has created during his time in the Dark Place and learns some uncomfortable truths about the previous Toms that have gone through the spiral.
#alan wake 2#control remedy#alphawave writes#casper darling#i march to the beat of my own drum#tom zane#thomas zane#ahti the janitor#Ahti is great but also OMG Finnish is not easy and I know Thai and Polish!#Chapter 6 is what I'm REALLY looking forward to write because that's gonna be another juicy reveal#Can't wait for you guys to go bananas like I am
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make it make sense that I enjoy doing my job (especially the tedious parts) when I am off the clock, but as soon as I am supposed to be working I'd rather be doing LITERALLY anything else????
#like im having so much fun prepping all my TEAMS posts for Monday and doing SLEUTHING to figure out who owns this one meeting rn#but come Monday im gonna whine and groan and try my best to avoid my job as much as is reasonable. like??#and this happens often. I love doing remedial tasks at 2am. plugging shit into the glossaries that I dont care about woooooo hell yeah.#doing a quick audit on Tuesday at 10pm? yes. easy. takes 30 mins at MOST.#but like. ask me to update glossaries or make posts on TEAMS or do adults between 7am and 4:30 pm??? ABSOLUTELY NOT I will drag my FEET#If I really wanna psychoanalyze myself... I think that what's happening is that my work isnt interesting to me and I find it too easy#and really boring. and if im bored and dont care. it HURTS its SO HARD its PAINFUL to drag my brain through the mud to do it#and so I thus hate my job. BUT. the exact work I do for my job is what I ENJOY doing in my real life. I love organizing and scheduling#and prepping and alll that shit. like I work as an admin assistant at my job but like. I LOVE BEING AN ADMINISTRATOR FOR MY REAL LIFE!!#so when im off the clock and im in *sort my life out and prep for the future* mode of COURSE work is fun!! thats how I get my dopamine!!!#but I dont wanna be doing that ALL THE TIME cause like. tbh its kinda a stress response. so like. I want to do work that fills other needs.#I wanna do work that makes me hyperfixate and get super curious and challenges me and makes me think analytically and learn a ton#but my job doesnt do that. and my brain thus sorts the work I get paid to do as work that I do on my own time#thus I am really productive when im off the clock and dont do SHIT during the times I put down on my timesheet that I am working#shit still gets done but like.... at what cost?.#googoogajoob
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aren't we tired. aren't we all tired
#speak friend and enter#as gently as possible: if you are out here asking 'are you mad at me' without any trace of irony you need to grow up#'but im autistic and can't read social cues' so am i. but social cues are like anything else - you can learn to read them!! and you should!#i am sooooo tired of this site's main demographic's insistence that being neurodivergent absolves them of all social responsibility#like. the internet is one thing but in real life people are going to expect you to know when they're upset with you.#i know in my case that's not always easy for me to know right off the bat - BUT i can analyse the situation and figure it out#and respond accordingly.#but if you just go 'well im self diagnosed autistic so i can't bear any intellectual weight here' people aren't going to want to talk to yo#im sorry if that seems harsh but it's true.#and sometimes you're going to misinterpret a situation and make some kind of faux pas but guess what: you will live#neurotypical people do it all the time. it's a whole genre. farces are have been and will be made all the time#but life goes on and you can't remedy those kinds of situations by throwing up your hands and going 'well im blameless bc im neurodivergent
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yahoo!!!!!
#next week banned from running far or hard (except for track workout). RECOVERY WEEK!!!#Week after that I'm on vacation...yay!!#Today's run actually was super nice but I only was like super in the zone miles like... 7-10 and the rest was good but i was definitely lik#having to. Focus#This is crazy tho to me that i can be running an easy comfortable pace and it's around 10...im always saying this but like it's TRUE#THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!!#Idk if it's just... That im a little older or im in the best shape of my life or what. Its Def in part how flat some of my routes r.#But still... My hometown is insanely flat and I've never run like this there lol#Tetrapod runs#Oh one other thing#I don't feel like im consuming enough calories on my long runs which is new for me also!!#I think bc it's so. Humid.... I'll drink my whole pack but I just don't rlly want to eat...#Like i think i consumed. Like 450 calories on this run (a oat bar and 2 gu). And i had brought also some candy but didn't eat it#been more into solids than the gels lately also#So hopefully this ish will be remedied simply by it getting cooler in the fall. If not... We'll see!#Also jdjdjd the sweat stains today were crazyyyyyyy.
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what ethnicity do you think the mikaelsons should be, if nordic isn't correct? just curious!
hi!! please sit with me for this, because we're gonna talk about the absolute mess that is the tvdu lore since jp insisted that mystic falls should be the centre of the world, completely missing why everything was happening to fells church in the books. putting under the cut because i couldn't stop rambling i fear.
so, the mikaelsons being nordic is absolutely fine. in fact i think they did something really cool by making them vikings and they missed potential from that by never going any deeper with it. astryr isn't half black because i think the mikaelsons should be poc, that is another issue that actually came about from a couple of months of discussion with a friend.
the problem is, unfortunately, klaus. i'll be honest and say i think it's really dumb that jp had the mikaelsons arrive in america a bit too early when it's well known that vikings had a presence in england and there are even confirmed settlements in canada. it would have been so easy for them to put their human home in england as farmers, which is why i do that in my canon so that there's no whitewashing going on with klaus. it would have also made sense with the accents in my opinion. or, even, to say that most of them were born before they travelled to america.
but. canon does insist that the mikaelsons after elijah were born in mystic falls. which causes the problem. it was already iffy that klaus' father would be a white man since he was the alpha of a pack of local wolves, but you could have room there if you fiddled some things around and said ansels pack and the mikaelsons were all part of a nordic settlement that travelled there together.
then s4 gave us the origin of werewolves, which actually brings in a different problem i have with the casting in tvdu (the french quarter being overwhelmingly white, making the lebonairs one of the first werewolves that all descend from a native tribe yet all the nola wolves are white, the fact when they did cast poc it was usually as a villain.) but yeah. s4 confirmed all werewolf packs came from one native tribe. and logistically that is a problem, cause at that time period? it makes absolute no sense at all that the werewolves in mystic falls would be white. it'd still be...odd even if the mikaelsons did go to england instead but we're already fucking with history so who's to say that some of those original werewolves didnt run so far that they crossed the ocean too.
instead....yeah, i'm sorry but if ansel was from mystic falls. if he's a werewolf alpha. he should NOT be white. he should be native. like, objectively, klaus should have been half native. which, ofc, i'm never gonna hold that against klaus writers because joseph is amazing in the role, and the majority of the tvd rpc knows this and has taken steps around it.
anyway, that got long. tldr; the mikaelsons being nordic is perfect from a writing standpoint if you want to ground them from the books, but by their own lore klaus should be half native and i will fight jp in the parking lot of hell.
#𝕺𝕺𝕮 / answered asks.#𝕺𝕺𝕮 / being gay on main again lads.#i do hope this makes sense and im always so ready to sit down and explain any changes ive made or problems ive expressed with canon#i also want it on record im never targetting klaus writers about this its just that the casting for the other issues i mentioned#was systematic in the tvdu whereas this is one firm problem that had an easy remedy#but when im writing on disc i try and remedy it myself too i use alt black and native fcs for my hayley and hope. so like#i completely get its hard and it sucks that jp made such a mess of the lore and all
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after my chem final today I'm going to finish fwct chapter 2 that's what I'm gonna do oh yeah not going to regret saying this when I come out of the exam haggard and stumbling without will to do anything
#I NEED TO POST IT IT'S KILLIGN ME!!!!! KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I can feel my brain falling to pieces the longer I go without dragging more people into my moth brainrot . I need to remedy this.#NOW!!!!!!#and I'll FINALLY HAVE TIME after this fucking chem final is over. I have one more exam after that should be easy and then I go home.#and then I have about TWO WEEKS. To do nothing but write.#before I have to get on a plane n disappear for a month straight#but UNTIL THEN. This moth. I'm gonna get her out there. Swear to Her.#clamtalk
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One of the biggest indicators of how close Kaeya and Diluc were growing up is not only their matching jealousy streaks, but also in the way they will get territorial on each other’s behalves.
#hc; kaeya#hc; diluc#//Just between mine; others don’t have to adhere#//But yeah#//They fall into jealousy VERY easy when it comes to others; but not when it comes to each other around their respective partners#//Actively feel MORE at ease with the other around their partners than another person#//Bc they may actively jab at each other and beef nowadays; but that is a line they will Never cross#//But esp bc they will actively get take care of people getting close to the other’s s/o FOR them#//They both know their own & each others’ jealousy/possessive streaks better than anyone; so OFC they’d take care of things for each other#//Luc sees sb getting a lil Too close to Kae’s s/o? Dude will be glaring holes into that person head until they leave em#//Dark ol Menacing Aura that’d make anybody think twice; or turn heel and run hfbfb. Maybe start for them if that alone’s not enough#//Kae sees sb getting Too friendly w Luc’s s/o? he is Personally intervening & lookin for the 1st chance to utterly Humiliate that ’pest’#//Or smoothly extract said s/o from the situation by feigning needing them for smth; while glaring slight daggers at the other person#//They will happily sabotage people for each other’s sakes; no questions asked. Utter Menaces abt it; too#//And they can be ESP set it if the other is barely in the courting phase of the relationship#//They WILL sabotage the other suitors and make the other other look better; subtly (or not) wingmanning for them#//They won’t even mention the fact that they’d do this for each other; to each other or others. it just IS#//Thats always been their habit since childhood; being territorial of their things & for each other’s things#//But being perfectly fine with each other handling them#//They trust each other SO much in that regard even now—which makes it funny when they both have a thing for the same person#//Get in a Vee with those two tho; that’d prolly be the easiest way to remedy it AND make them to get along hcbcb#//Competitive; yes; but more at ease/comfortable
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guess whoooooooooooo is the fucking idiot that checked the "yes i wore them" mark when i just tried on some shoes and now i can't return them
#i'm trying to look at the bright side because it can be an easy fix#as in they're tight because of the width of my foor and not the length#and there are some like home remedies for that but also there's a shoe repair shop near me#so i'm just#gonna take them there and hope they're ready before saturday#they're very cute and the best outcome would be them fitting#but i'm still mad at myself for it LMAO#not like i could've gotten a bigger size either they were the last one#and i was like oh sick that's my size! and it is but they're just a tad bit tight#anyways here's to hoping LMFAO#b.txt
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listening to a podcast about the histor of qatar while doing something and realising i knew absolutely nothing about the country beyond the human rights abuses etc. 🫣 like did i know the portugese were there and were ousted by the dutch and british? You'd think so as i live in the netherlands and history education might sometimes be lacking but the VOC usually gets its time in the spotlight. Or about the Ottoman empire time, or about its relations wth the Saudis. But no. No idea. Also had no idea it was rich from pearlfishing before the oil. I may be stupid.👍
#the good news is that i can remedy this specific bit of stupid by downloadi g a few books#truly never a better time in history to be a lil ignorant it's so easy to remedy
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