#dying=not dead yet vs rotting=been dead for a while

[gummy-axolotl]

"Rotting" is such a cool word. Like, it's so much more visceral and frightening. The decay over the passage of time, the imagery of mold and maggots, eating from the inside out.

"the world is ending" "the world is broken"<<<<< "the world is ROTTING"

[oogaboogaspookyman]

[MANUAL BLAST?]

.

.

.

[1]

Well hey hello there old beepin' friend

It's been a while since we last saw each other again

After everything that's happened, you still have the audacity to show your face around?

*...*

[2]

Isn't it enough having destroyed our reputation?

Aren't you satisfied having pushed her near literal extinction?

Why are you here again if you're not coming back to just apologize already at once?

*...*

[3]

Come on, buddy, it's just good ol' me, the blue blur Sonic himself!

Don't you remember the old better times before the land became a desolate scorching wasteland?

Maybe it's because of you, maybe it's your own fault it's so empty and devoid of life

*...*

(everything here is dead)

(and i don't see anybody else around to blame)

[4]

10, 9, 8, don't fill up with hate, yeah!

7, 6, 5, it's time to shine, yeah!

4, 3, 2, no better to do, yeah?

1, 0, hear the clock tick tock away, you can't run away no more

[5]

10, 9, 8, don't fill up with hate, yeah!

7, 6, 5, it's time to shine, yeah!

4, 3, 2, no better to do, yeah?

1, 0, hear the clock tick tock away, you can't run away no more...

:)

You're too- you're too- you're too- yOU'Re too- you're too- you're tOO-

YOU'RE TOO SLOW

[FORGOTTEN REMNANT (MANUAL BLAST FAKER COVER)]

.

[1]

EVERYTHING AROUND ME KNOWS NOTHING BUT PURE LIES

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SUFFER ALL THE TIME

*...*

(I WILL NOT BE REPLACED)

[2]

I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A GOD, I AM NOT A FRAUD

I'VE BEEN LABELED AS THE MONSTER FOR FAR TOO LONG

I'M THE VICTIM, TO EACH AND EVERY ACTION IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN EARTH AND YET THE BLAME IS PINNED ON ME ANYWAY

*...*

[3]

EVERY SINGLE DAY

I HEAR THEM ALL LAUGH AT MY MISERY, SPOUTING WHATEVER WORD THEY WANT

JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE ABILITY, I AM NOT DESERVING OF THEIR CRUELTY

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, THE ECLIPSE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN

IN THE SAME WAY YOU HAVE BROKEN ME, I'LL TEAR THEM APART

WATCH THE SUN GO BLACK

I'M GOING TO BURN EVERYTHING YOU LOVE TO THE GROUND

*...*

*...*

*:)*

*:)*

*:)*

*:)*

*:)*

*:)*

[4]

*:)*

MADE A BLOODY MESS, DON'T YOU REGRET IT ONE BIT?

LOOK AT THIS DISTRESS, ARE YOU NOT PROUD OF IT?

JUST DIE

[5]

YOU JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR LITTLE MORTAL MIND

DIDN'T YOU HAVE ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY? EVERYTHING'S ALREADY DEAD IN THE GROUND LIKE YOU WANTED

YOU'RE JUST ONE OF THOSE LUCKY LITTLE SOULS WHO ARE LABELED AS INNOCENT NO MATTER THE CRIME

*...*

(BREAK THEIR DAYS)

(COUNT THEM OUT)

(DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING TOGETHER)

[6]

ISN'T IT IRONIC HOW THE VERY REPLACEMENT FOR MY EXISTENCE IS BEGGING TO NOT BE DISCARDED ANYWAY?

LOOK AT HIM ROARING HIS THROAT AWAY, FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM LIKE I HAVE BEFORE MYSELF

*...*

(LOOK AT HIM ROAR FOR MY WISHES)

(LIKE IT'S HIS WILL FUELING THE FIRE)

[7]

I FIND IT INSULTING HOW THEY CREATED A PERFECT RECREATION OF MY LIKENESS AND CALL IT ORIGINAL

THEY TURNED MY OWN FACE INTO MY WORST ENEMY AND MADE A MOCKERY OF MY SUFFERING

*...*

(DRENCHED IN UNBOUND PRIMAL DESIRE)

MY COPY MUST PERISH

[8]

THEY NEED A MONARCH, NOT A TYRANT

THEY ALL ASK FOR THE REAL CROWN

YOUR SELFISHNESS DECEIVES NOBODY

*...*

DON'T FORGET

[9]

CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THIS ALREADY DYING WORLD?

IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT BUT YOURS THAT EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE

JUST ACCEPT IT'S YOU WHO'S TO BLAME FOR THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS

*...*

(HATE KNOWS NO BOUNDS)

(NOONE AROUND)

.

[10]

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU'RE THE ONE TORMENTING EVERYONE ELSE FOR WIELDING THE MIRROR IN FRONT OF YOU

*...*

(IT'S NOT ME WHO'S BURNED IT ALL, IT'S ALL JUST YOU, ONLY YOU RIGHT HERE)

[11]

LOOK AROUND YOU AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE OTHER THAN FIRE AND ROTTING SHELLS OF YOUR OWN KIND, DEAD BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T THINK OF MORE THAN YOURSELF

*...*

(THIS STORY DIDN'T HAVE TO END LIKE THIS BUT IT HAS NOW)

[12]

AREN'T YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF IN THE SLIGHTEST? YOU HAVE GOTTEN EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER ASKED FOR, NOW DIE IN A FIRE ALREADY

*...*

(THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO KILL)

[13]

JUST ACCEPT IT, BLAME IS YOURS

I AM NOT THE ENEMY, NO MORE

*...*

(I DON'T NEED GLASSES TO SEE IT CLEARLY, UNLIKE YOUR BLIND SELF THAT CAN'T HEAR)

[14]

JUST SEE YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S ALL JUST YOUR DOING IN THIS CARNAGE

YOUR SELFISH DESIRES LED EVERYONE ELSE TO THIS UNNECESSARY WAR IN THE BATTLEFIELD THAT USED TO BE EVERYONE'S BELOVED HOME

*...*

[15]

THESE ATTEMPTS AT REPLACING ME ARE NOTHING BUT PROOF OF YOUR OWN MALICE BORN FROM THE JEALOUSY OF MY SUPERIORITY

SURRENDER NOW, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO TRY ANYMORE, BECOME CONSUMED BY THE FLAMES OF YOUR OWN MISDEEDS

*...*

I WILL NOT BE REPLACED!!!

BURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNINGBURNING

[16]

EVERY SINGLE DAY

I HEAR THEM ALL LAUGH AT MY MISERY, SPOUTING WHATEVER WORD THEY WANT

JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE ABILITY, I AM NOT DESERVING OF THEIR CRUELTY

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, THE ECLIPSE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN

IN THE SAME WAY YOU HAVE BROKEN ME, I'LL TEAR THEM APART

WATCH THE SUN GO BLACK

I'M GOING TO BURN EVERYTHING YOU LOVE TO THE GROUND

*...*

(PLEASE)

(ALL YOU'RE DOING IS FUEL THE FIRE, NOTHING MORE)

(COME ON, TRY)

(KILL ME NOW)

(YOU'VE LOST ANYWAY)

(I AM GOD)

[17]

I'm not the enemy, just doing what i'm told to do

I'm sorry for what happened, just know that you're not alone

I KNOW THERE'S NO HOPE, I'LL FOREVER BE A BEAST (I'm not hiding out of selfishness, i'm just scared for myself)

ALL I'M ASKING IS FOR ALL OF YOU TO PAY YOUR OWN SHARE (I never wanted this, i'm sorry for everything)

[end.]

[imawhoreidiot]

Babe, wake up! New Ghost theory(s) dropped

I have come down with a bad case of Ghost brain rot, so I feel compelled to contribute to silly little theories to keep myself from going insane. Big fat “what will happen to Copia?” theory under da cut :D (warning: it is long, BUT IT SCRATCHES AN ITCH, I PROMISE)

Recently, there was a rerelease of Mary on a Cross. At first, it seemed innocuous enough. Bands release songs in separate single albums all the time to get a little extra money. It wasn’t until I saw the cover that I started thinking there was some foreshadowing involved.

On the cover of the new album is Copia depicted in Roman coin fashion. He is crying blood. The coin is a parody of a Caligula coin (Both shown below)

In case you are not familiar with Caligula, he was a Roman Emperor that was killed by the Praetorian Guard, which were the equivalent to his bodyguards at the time.

Among the reasons he got assassinated: he became delusional with power. He demanded to be worshipped as a god, was accused of incest, and made many other poor political decisions (This is a highly simplified version of his reign.) The final straw was when he tried to move from Rome to Alexandria, Egypt in hopes to be venerated as a living God. Before he was killed, his delusions and paranoia grew to include those he was closest to and the people around him.

I don’t think any members of the clergy actually want Copia dead…yet. I think within the next year, we’ll be shown a side of Copia we’ve never seen before and he’s going to get more and more paranoid of dying or being replaced.

On stage, he is already starting to display irregular and erratic behavior. While singing Rats, he seems to have started yelling “NO” after the line “Never to return.” I’ve also seen videos of him being a little more tough on the Ghouls. 

More specifically, I think the Ghouls are going to be the ones to do it. They will grow fed up with his paranoid behavior and be the ones to do it, likely on stage. Impera is all about how no empires lasts forever and I think that message will directly correlate with how Copia will die. 

Additional support to the ghouls will be the ones to kill Copia theory: there was a patch that was available to purchase on the website that is now sold out. It’s a mimic of Michelangelo’s Pieta.

VS

As you can see, the patch shows Copia lying dead on Sister Imepators (heavily implied to be his his mothers) lap. In the original, Jesus is lying dead on Mary’s lap. One of the leading causes of Jesus’ death was due to the betrayal of one of his disciples. What if this is foreshadowing that Copia’s death will be caused by one (or more) of his ghouls???

Actually, since this is a theory post, and I’m already on the topic of the parallels between Copia, Imperator, Jesus and Mary, I’m going to go fuckign crazy with the theories,,,, so here’s your BOGO theory for the day,,,,

I also think Copia is being teased as being the antichrist. As in, son of Satan. I think Tobias is really amping up the “Copia and Sister Imperator are Jesus and Mary parallel.” I don’t think Nihil is actually Copia’s dad, but I do think he is playing the begrudging step father role, which makes him kinda a Joseph figure as well.

The main evidence I have for this theory is one of the fixed songs on the US tours set list is Prime Mover. Prime Mover hasn’t been played live in YEARS. Prime Mover is about Satan using a Nun to carry his child. Anti Virgin Mary if you will. Regardless, I think within the next year, we’ll get a lot more evidence to support some kind of coming of the antichrist, even if it’s not Copia. I have no idea where this theory would fit in with the other one, but hey, I said it was a theory, not that it made cohesive sense.

“But OP, who could ever possibly come after Copia??” no one says. 

“Do you have any theories?” no one pleads. 

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DO!!!

In messages from the clergy, chapter ten, we get to see a little glimpse of Copia’s room. There’s a part in the video ( 1:40) that shows some Catholic style prayer candles. The one that has the main focal point is this bad boy

St Martin of Tours to be exact. And what was he famous for, you might ask? RESURRECTING 3 (THREE) PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD. THREE EXACTLY FOLKS.

Now, if the papas do get brought back (here's to hoping) I don’t think that they’ll front for the band, but I do think that there is a chance that they’ll be there. 

I unfortunately do not have anymore additions to any theories for now, but I am insane and don’t shut up, so more to come I’m sure!! I’m sure none of these theories are new, I just needed to articulate something 

[nefoe-dd]

SO SMT AU AM I RIGHT GAMERS

I mentioned this in the tags of another post and joked about it in Discord but my brain went brrrr during my last class of the day and now I lowkey have a full plot starting to form lol.

Keep in mind the only Shin Megami Tensei game I’ve played myself is the Nocturne remake, plus I only really remember bits of the plot of 4 and whatever we’ve been given so far of 5 so I’m not super well versed in the series.

Also I’ll add this to the tags too but DSMP Spoilers specifically for the contents of Techno’s Will exist in this post, because that is where the idea for this came from. A lot of other JRPGs have similar plotlines but I specifically thought of SMT because its kind of a meme specifically for that at this point how the plot always seems to have the same type ending bosses. 

Also some spoilers for Shin Megami Tensei IV

ANYWAYS

Now Presenting: An AU where Techno’s Limbo is an SMT Game lol

(Under a ‘Read More’ because it got way ahead of me)

An Introduction to Relevant SMT terminology:

Demons: Makes up a large majority of the characters in the game. They are the enemies that you face in combat, and its possible to recruit them to your team through various means. Some demons exist in the overworld though, and can be talked to normally, they’re chill most of the time, unless you do something to tick them off. ‘Demon’ is not taken literally by the Christian definition, they are based off of various figures in folklore and religion around the world, some are even based on Gods and Angels.

Law vs Chaos: Many SMT games have multiple endings based on these two alignments, along with the neutral alignment. It is usually decided by some important decisions the player makes throughout the game. I’m most aware of the SMT 4 ending, in which the route you are on decides the final dungeon, the character you team with for the ending, and the final boss (its either Satan or the in-game version of God). It’s based off of the traditional interpretation of these two, where Law represents the importance of authority, and Chaos represents the importance of freedom. 

Another note is that a lot of SMT games take place in a post-apocalyptic world of some kind, which, spoiler, is the case here.

General Plot Details and Worldbuilding:

- Techno dies in the prison. The stasis chamber fails and Quackity succeeds in killing him. Permanently. 

- Despite dying, he wakes up again in the main prison cell, but things are different. The lava isn’t blocking the entrance anymore, (in fact there isn’t any lava at all), and he’s alone. Upon peering outside the main cell, he notices a bit of sky peeking through the prison ceiling, like it had been broken into. 

- The drop down to the bottom floor is long, but he’s dead, so he just shrugs and jumps down so he can see what’s going on. Turns out there are several holes in this part of the prison, in fact there are multiple on the ground, likely where the lava had escaped from. (Obviously Minecraft lava specifically doesn’t work like that, I’m pretty sure in the DreamSMP the bottom is all source blocks, but just ignore that bit). 

- He exits from the back wall of the prison, and everything there so far looks normal, except for the fact that there appears to be less trees than normal. Of the trees that are still there, many of them were cut down and never collected, and some appear to have fallen over due to some damage.

- Techno goes around the prison to the front, and that’s when he notices some things that are very wrong. Various parts of the prison, not just the main cell, are also sitting destroyed. Many cracks, scuff marks and full-on chunks are missing on the walls. The usual entrance which houses the nether portal is hardly still standing, and he can see straight into the main lobby where the portal would lead into once you were let through. 

- The surrounding areas are not much better. Tommy’s outpost is toppled over in the distance, only the base and bottom floor are left standing. The tents near the beach are collapsed and destroyed, the only remnants of one of them is a small piece of fabric ripped from the main bit and laying on the ground. Skeppy and Badboyhalo’s mansion is crumbling where it stands, half of the back wall and ceiling are gone. And that’s only what’s visible from here. 

- The rest of the server is also in various states of destruction, the spawn walls are hardly left standing, the main nether portal area is covered in potholes, none of the portals are active. The prime path is rotted and broken in most areas, the buildings along it are not faring much better than the ones he’d seen before. And the further he gets away from the prison, the more the plants themselves appear to be dead or dying. 

- L’manburg’s crater looks much the same as it once did right after its destruction, albeit with more debris at the bottom which had fallen from the sides as they slowly eroded. The flag at the bottom is torn up and discoloured, honestly its hardly recognizable. The nature that had finally begun to reclaim the land has slowly been dying instead over time, and the bridge overtop has completely collapsed. The only thing still standing, is the ever present obsidian grid that looms over it in the sky. He supposes that whatever disaster had caused this wasn’t able to reach that high up, or that it was at least in part done by someone that liked the way it looked. Not that there seems to be a need for the reminder anymore. 

- Something something, he finds out DreamXD is here, and that he might have had something to do with how this world looks. And as much as it shouldn’t matter in the afterlife, he did promise Phil he would be killing God sooooo he goes on a mission to do just that. He can do pretty much anything now that he really doesn’t have to worry about dying, so why not. He has no reason to care about some God, especially when they’re the only ones left.

- Some DSMP people hang around the world and are represented by certain demons, the mostly chill ones that kinda just hang around in the apocalyptic scenery. They don’t recognize him, it isn’t really the people he knows after all, but they are willing to talk to him since they can tell he isn’t human either. He learns little bits of what happened through them, and learns where DreamXD resides, that being one of the strongholds that’s a bit further out. 

- Unfortunately, due to the portals being inactive, and his inability to break anything efficiently, or even at all, he has to travel using the overworld. Along the way he manages to speak to some others, this allows him to better locate where the God is, although it doesn’t seem to be hiding out. He even sees it sometimes flying around, which he uses to follow where its hiding. 

- Some of the random demons he runs into recognize that he’s not supposed to be here (according to them at least), so he has to fight his way through them. Luckily, many of the friendly demons that he talks to end up tagging along in order to help, thus making up a team he can use to get through them instead.

 - There’s probably a demon that seems to resemble Phil somewhere, living alone (alone for so so long) away from everyone in an arctic house perhaps. If I wanted to really up the angst, the demon takes a liking to Techno right away, which is partly how Techno is able to tell its him so quickly. The more they talk, the more Techno realizes how lonely the Phil he knows must be without him there, how upset he’d be once he reads the will and finds out what happened to him. Thus he’s more motivated to, you know, fight God, in an attempt to figure out what the hell happened. (DXD is the only entity existing here that also exists where he’s from, he can guess pretty easily that maybe, just maybe, they are one and the same). Thus, he is given a choice that he knows he will have to make in the future. 

- Eventually he manages to find the stronghold and comes face to face with DreamXD himself. DreamXD is just kinda chillin there, they fight, through DreamXD doesn’t seem to be putting in too much effort, almost like it does not want to win. 

- Techno wins (duh), and he is left with a choice, a choice to finish the job, or spare the god and allow it to go free. And, well, he feels that he doesn’t really have the right to decide whether it lives or dies, and while its possible that DreamXD caused whatever disaster created the current state of the world, but he doesn’t know that for sure. DreamXD has done nothing this whole time he’s been here, and its done nothing to him or his companions.

- He chooses to leave it alone, and DreamXD seems to know that it was always going to end that way. 

- DreamXD disappears, and Techno wakes up in the cell again post-revival, the prison and the world around it is the same as he remembers

(I don’t remember the exact real-world to limbo time difference but I imagine that it felt like, a day, maybe half that, while irl it was only a few minutes to an hour.)

Some other notes/details:

- The other possible ending would have resulted in Techno killing DreamXD and being given ANOTHER choice to take its power over the world, or just leave and stay there forever. Basically DreamXD’s existence is vital to the power of the revival book, and it’s death would have resulted in Dream not being successful in his revival attempts. Obviously we have no idea how the powers actually work yet, but I just came up with an explanation because I thought it would be interesting. You can decide on your own which of these endings fall into Law, Chaos or Neutral because uh, its complicated given the scenario. You can also decide if letting DreamXD live even fits into his character! Idk! But its not like DreamXD’s being oppressive by any means, not that there’s anyone to oppress here anyways. That’s my logic anyways.

- I don’t know what demons would represent specific people, I’d like to use one of the Angels for Phil but the Demons based on Angels usually have an important role in the plot that is in line with the Law alignment and like, protecting god or whatever, so no. There are a couple bird ones but idk if they fit the vibe, idk it could work, I’d have to look at a list if I want to go into this further.

- I kinda want Eret to be an Inugami because it’s body does that thing that ferret’s do when they’re all stretched out :) The only reason I’m hesitant is because Inugami is a dog, and Goose deserves representation.

- The reason I imagined for why Techno can’t break anything is because the mining fatigue lasted throughout this because he died with it, it’d get in the way of fighting too but at least it isn’t weakness, and he’s not alone either.

Uhhhhh that’s it for now I think!

(will potentially add to this if I figure something else out in the future)

[nightlightrequested]

The rotting of Georgenotfound

You wanted an essay. Here it is.

This is an essay on mushroom George with the thought of the mushrooms growing out of him are because he’s dying inside.

For @marv3l-drag0ns and @denkilightning especially, thanks for the enthusiasm! I hope this makes sense

This is for the character of George no implication to George in his real life.

George lore as a character is a very good example of minimal structure meeting creative freedom meeting.

George lore has very little concrete lore that defines him as a character, some of it is given to us through other characters and the rest is given to us by personal interpretation due to the situations and circumstances we understand.

What we do know.

-George likes mushrooms, he’s cottage house was adapted into a mushroom cottage, and he’s apart of a mushroom themed kingdom.

-George has less than natural, and very abnormal sleep habits

-he misses his best friend

-he has trouble separating reality and Dream states.

-he used to be considered a powerful and loyal ally to anyone who sought him out. Dream didn’t seek him out technically but had wanted George help during the orginal wars and fights.

And Quackity had asked for George specifically as his running mate during the compaige days. George’s faith and loyalty to these people was never questioned or considered weak.

-the campaign days are also the last “real” event George remembers.

What has been created off these ideas

-George himself has started growing mushrooms off his body, weather due to an abnormal human heritage or magic

-George is cursed or his sleep is being manipulated by an outside power. (Usually Dream or DreamXD)

-he misses his best friend very much, with some added fear and guilt

- George has no way to distinguish between realities, he’s never actually been asleep, he doesn’t know what’s happening or what is truth vs what is made up.

-George has become the bitchboi of the dreamteam. Weakest in combat, weakest mentally and has never had real power, or was never a threat to anyone.

He has no sense of loyalty and is a selfish person to his roots. Only doing and thinking of his self value. Long term wise he’s only ever looked out for #1. And so is willing to sell anything for material gain.

-he can’t remember is real last awake memories.

While each in itself are their own essays, I’m gonna talk about the mushroom growing here.

As well as try to relate points in correlation with the mushroom growing.

Mushrooms are known as both cute and gorey. Pastel and gothic. These ideas can and do co-exist.

And so they are well reasoned to exist with George as a character. He does like mushrooms and has a personal preference for them on a strictly lore and fact base, and creativily the mushrooms are used to spice up George’s character design and overall inhance his character.

But the implications of mushrooms growing out of him have that duality of, cute and magic, and really dark and depressive reality.

Because mushrooms as an organism feed on dead or rotting cells. They can’t produce and metabolise their own nurturients. They need something to do it for them.

So mushrooms growing off of George’s body implies that they are feeding off him.and because they feed off dead or rotten cells it’s then implied that George has something dead or rotting inside him.

George’s life can be divided into two separate parts, two parts of the same timeline of George lore.

The first half could be counted as before the Election Day of L’manberg, and then the after the election as the second half.

Why are we worrying about how to time divide George’s life when we just started talking about mushrooms? Well it’s that we can relate George’s life, and himself as a garden with a tree in it.

During the first half of his life, the garden was in good health, it was well maintained and cared for, by George himself and others.

It was obviously well loved and well treated, and was a stable environment.

No mushrooms grew because nothing was dying.

This relates to his mental stability and overall general well-being as a person. People loved him without secondary motives, he was a trusted friend and a known loyal man and that wasn’t seen as a negative aspect.

However, after Election Day, it was a slow decrease in care and upkeep of the garden, there wasn’t an urgent need to make sure it was clean, happy and healthy because well it’s been healthy and happy for so long already that surely it doesn’t need constant attention.

However, to go from being loved so readily without a backhand meaning to being at the bottom of the priority list within such a short time had its consequences.

Added with the beginning of sleep troubles and reality identifing issues, a mushroom grew.

This is showcased literally with the mushroom house. A place to be isolated from others, a private area. A place he could allude to the excuse of not feeling invisible around others. With the added incentive that his best friend believed it to be his best interest. And George trusts his friend so why would there be anything wrong with it?

We’ve now entered the second half of the gardens life, George’s life. The slow negligence of the garden and its consequences.

See the things with trees is, despite looking undisturbed they’re very sensitive things, and changes in the environment no matter how small are felt, just not visualised quickly.

And so George’s outward showing of just not caring, and not appearing to have emotional empathy or understanding for others is that outward appearance of good health while the inner parts are sick and rotting.

And would you belive it? The inner dead and dying cells is exactly what mushrooms feed on.

An interesting relationship to look at with this now understanding, is DreamXD and George.

In this Metaphor George is the host, the tree, who due to lack of self care and care from others and negative changes in his life and environment has begun to die and rot on the inside while looking untouched and undisturbed.

These dying cells and rot, welcome the growth of fungi, mushrooms, DreamXD.

DreamXD as a mushroom could possibly be considered a parasitic type.

But could be disguised or try to appear like a non parasite but behaviour says otherwise.

George naturally tries to fight or deter this threat but it’s a battle, and without outside help or assistance the tree (he) can only last so long before the mushroom or fungi cause enough issues that George gives up and succumbs to DreamXD entirely.

But what changes in the environment, in the garden, in his life have allowed for George to welcome DreamXD?

-the mental stress due to his inability to distinguish real and fake. Weather it be subconscious or consciously George can recognise and unsafe atmosphere and people. And with the inability to understand what he’s recognising and inability to do anything about it is causing him to internally rot and fester.

-his long time best friend suddenly being gone from him without a goodbye. And then being told and shown that his friend wasn’t actually caring, wasn’t actually as atttached to him as George was. That everything he had faith and trust in was a ploy, ruse, an act.

-but also that loyalty inside him, that desire to trust and care for people despite everything that was only ever encouraged during the good half of his life, that begs and screams out that Dream cares about him.

Those two facts, are both reality. And yet they aren’t compatible.

Dream is a manipulator and will use everyone vs his hard loyalty in Dream and his love for his friend.

And when reality doesn’t add up? Something has to be wrong. Something has to fake. But which?

-his need for security and stability, secure memory. Stable relationships, his need for someone to help weed away at an overgrown garden because it’s a lot for one man to do alone. And nobody is just going to help him. Nobody does anything out of the good of their heart, cause it’s the right thing to do. Nobody wants to help the man who can’t recall when he last woke up, and can’t make dates.

George needs help but the dying cells are feeding a voice and an idea that he doesn’t, that he doesn’t need anyone, and that nothing wrong, but the natural instinct to fight is causing internal pain and strife.

The mushrooms are growing and no one is stopping them.

[qwirk]

*vigilantes ch. ~64 and main manga ch. ~255 spoilers*

although idk if these are really spoilers if these chapters came out a couple years ago! anime-only fans beware. anyway here’s my extremely long rant about the obvious, not trying to explain anything- i gotta yell!

so that vigilantes arc destroyed me! i’m not good at immediately putting thoughts about media into coherent points but i’m just so sad :( first of all after catching up with the main manga, shirakumo, despite being technically dead during his introduction, rocketed up to one of my favorite if not my favorite character. aizawa is also up there for me- he was first introduced as this strict teacher who seemed to psychologically torment his students for the fun of it, or at least for some yet unknown ulterior motive. but we now know that, while still kinda harsh, he does this to give his students that lead-dropping-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach rush in order to push them to succeed (or something like that?). he truly cares about his students and their growth which has been demonstrated multiple clear times. but what drives him to be like this??

shirakumo!! his actions today are a clear answer to the pushes shirakumo gave him back when they were students. they’re so obviously influenced by shirakumo that they’re almost literally answers. the main chapters are a little foggy because i speedread them at 3 am, but i just caught up with vigilantes. 

at the start, aizawa sees himself as someone who’s constantly just behind and will stay there as everyone moves on. he trudges into class drenched after leaving the kitten behind and he’s super emo about it. meanwhile, shirakumo literally flies through the window, also drenched, saved not only the kitten but aizawa’s umbrella, and manages to put on this cheery (albeit borderline explicit) show about it. it’s a CLEAR contrast between the two and aizawa goes as far to say that he hasn’t reached his “true self yet” while he looks at shirakumo and then says that he starts to change. 

as if it’s not enough for aizawa to beat himself up mentally, his classmates bring him down for not having a “heroic” enough quirk. shirakumo is constantly stepping in to bring him back up, even during real work study stuff, and goes as far to lend him a pair of his goggles so that his eyes become more useful. this becomes a stronger bonding point between aizawa, shirakumo, and hizaishi for them to start looking to the future together. while wearing those goggles, which are protecting his sight from the strong winds on the roof, he stares into the sky, feeling like he’s getting swept into the future like the clouds in the wind. (also the clouds as a metaphor. damn)

and then we come to the last fight. everyone that aizawa looks up to is crushed in the wake of the villain, and he’s the last one standing. there’s a group of children to protect, and he’s panicking and drowning in his overthinking. the way he’s given a huge panel to himself only to be visually overwhelmed by his thought bubbles stood out to me. and then the thing that snaps him out is shirakumo’s voice cheering him on. it’s a bunch of simple praise, but it means everything in the situation. the friend who’s been pulling him up no matter how hopeless or apathetic aizawa feels is of course the one to spur him into action in a life-or-death situation. aizawa realizes he’s gotta fight immediately, and even reminds himself of exactly what shirakumo told him- that his quirk IS useful and levels the playing field. 

i was already kinda spoiled for this part since i read the main manga first, but hearing shirakumo’s cheering the entire time while aizawa is absolutely toiling to defeat this huge villain would have been touching regardless. and when he lands in triumph, hurting but victorious, he screams for his friend to hear that he did it!! but then you see this joy start to like. rot away as soon as it pans to kayama and hizaishi. it’s raining again (THE CLOUDS AS A METAPHOR! DAMN!). shirakumo’s corpse is lying feet away from him, staining the medics’ sheet with blood. i don’t have much to say about this part, it was just a lot for me to process!! also i’m still not entirely sure about the way his speaker works so i might be wrong here, but did he really spend his dying moments with a traumatic head injury cheering on his friend to not only beat the immediate danger, but to self-realization?? or maybe it was prerecorded? idk but either way, truly a hero. 

aizawa and hizaishi are left standing in the rain because once again, “it fits the mood.” so obviously there’s the callback to when aizawa first said that when he comes to class after leaving the kitten and i have yet to fully comprehend it because i have no braincells for interpreting media. i guess maybe it’s like- aizawa at first felt terrible for not being able to save even a kitten while being enrolled in the most prestigious hero course in the country. getting drenched while settling with (what he considers to be) a cowardly measure is the icing to the cake for his self-hatred. it’s the classic “this might as well happen” scenario to get soaked by random rain or a car splashing you with a puddle on a bad morning. rain is sad. but in comes shirakumo, equally drenched but still the bright light that he is. he’s also done everything aizawa couldn’t but wanted to and more in this situation. he could do it not just because of his storing quirk, but because he held the life of someone who needed saving more important than the school rules. this decorum lets the kitten slide as it makes itself at home in the classroom. the rain stops soon after. but then you have shirakumo’s death. once again, aizawa, and even hizaishi, who’s usually always upbeat (almost every panel of him was just him screaming YEAHHHHH. plz give him more dialogue) both agree that the pouring rain fits the mood. this also brings us back to the present that preceded the flashback- koichi just rescued a cat and a child from a villain with aizawa’s help, and now they’re standing under an awning to escape the rain. this situation is literally almost exactly what happened at the beginning of the flashback which is why i guess it brought it on, but it’s interesting to see what changed- aizawa is the one who’s learned from this situation and teaching the student the meaning of responsibility (using an abandoned cat as an example, no less), and they’re all properly shielded from the elements this time. i guess the conclusion (that could be totally wrong) i’m coming to is that the rain sort of represents the adversaries aizawa faces in life- his self-deprecation, those that don’t believe in him, his personal failures that he has been facing lately. shirakumo has always been there to guide him past it, and once he lifts up aizawa nothing can shake him again. but now that he’s definitively gone, it’s back to haunt him for this one last moment of sheer grief. it’s only this one moment though, as aizawa clearly uses this moment to move on and better himself not just for his sake, but for everyone counting on him. he’s escaped the rain.

it’s so clear how this manifests in the main manga and i’m so happy vigilantes was able to spin out such a good backstory and explanation for his actions!! one of the most immediate ways we see his ideals stand out is his taking in of shinsou as his apprentice from general studies. it’s absolutely because he sees himself in this boy. he has a quirk that’s seemingly useless once you get into combat and everyone thinks he’s a creep for it. more people might even wary around shinsou than aizawa’s case. during the a vs. b practice fights, shinsou explains what he did wrong, clearly upset at himself for not doing enough. aizawa immediately pulls himself up, reminding him that in order to achieve what he just said, he’d have to be a pro, and that what he managed was more than enough. these parallels between aizawa and shinsou are definitely hinted at in the main story, like when midoriya underestimate’s his prowess in combat at usj, but with the vigilantes arc everything is so much clearer. in the main manga, we get a direct reference of aizawa’s expulsion rate in relation to how it helps students grow when they face “’death’” as he’s interrogating kurogiri. though dramatic, i feel like it has to be linked to the dire situation aizawa faced when the pro heros and shirakumo got knocked out during that one fight because of its placement in the chapter. he understands better than most in the story that a lot of times pushes, whether big or small, are needed to grow. he wants to be to his students what shirakumo was to him.

OK EDIT because i didn’t realize there was more to the arc after 64 lol. so obviously after shirakumo dies aizawa’s and hizaishi’s dreams of starting a triple hero agency have been dashed. aizawa seems to distance himself from hizaishi, or at least they’re on uneasy speaking terms. he’s coping by training super hard and is bent on going solo after graduation, the opposite of what they had all planned. but this time, he has conviction on what he’s going to do with himself, and that’s great! he learns that you have to be there for yourself in life. there’s a small montage leading from graduation to where is now in vigilantes and it’s been hard, but he’s been making it. still a lone wolf as ever, aside from the pushes from kayama to become teachers with her and hizaishi at ua. he thinks doing that would be a stupid choice for him, he’s been alone this whole time and doesn’t work well with others (anymore, he thinks). but now that he’s in the cafe with everyone, he changes seeing everyone fawn over the cat but their new dreams of being a popular cat cafe. 

the impact of seeing their newfound hope brings him back to another flashback of the rooftop trio, and THE PARALLELS!!! of them also dreaming to start their hero agency based on their first rescue of sushi the cat. back in the present, aizawa, who’s been spacing off, suddenly realizes the sky and his mind have cleared (THE CLOUDS KEEP COMING BACK AS A METAPHOR!!! if this happens in the main story i’ll cry). i’m still not 100% sure of what exactly makes the dots connect for him, but it’s been hinted through the flashbacks and his reactions to the rescued cat that he’s actually a good teacher himself, though he had been mainly shown to have learned from others around him. he drilled husbandry requirements into shirakumo and interrogated koichi about responsibility as if they were second nature. i think aizawa realized that he’s actually always had a soft spot for watching people grow and do good things and wants to be a part of facilitating that. or at least because he wasn’t able to accomplish doing good with his friends originally, he wants to help other accomplish the goal he couldn’t. also the fact that kayama still sends him updates on sushi isn’t just really nice of her, but it’s also another representation of how aizawa’s convictions he developed as a student still drive him to do what he does today.

MY MAIN POINT IS: aizawa really loves shirakumo. to have so much of his character based in the lessons he purposefully or inadvertently taught him is an amazing testament to that appreciation. aizawa never emotes except for the occasional creepy smile when he psychologically toys with 1a, but the emotion he displayed during the interrogation really caught me by surprise. the apathetic emo character suddenly being truly happy or sad is a cliche but this panel right fucking here was so powerful to me:

yeah his eyes are always bloodshot as a trademark to his quirk, but the emotional EXHAUSTION written on his face is so starkly different than his usual boredom. this feeling that horikoshi illustrates in two small panels is so human that it’s instantly recognizable deep in our hearts. we’ve all been in those heavy and direly serious moments that wrack our mental and emotional fortitudes, where the only response manageable without hideously breaking down is some subtle motion of the hand or crinkle of the face. we all know what this means without understanding the japanese onomatopoeia or needing additional dialogue. before i read vigilantes, i still immediately understood what this man meant to aizawa. and that’s why i love shirakumo so much!! we all know at least a little how aizawa used to feel as a student, and to have someone constantly pushing you and acting as such a light in your moments of darkness is something so incredibly special. i really hope they’re able to get him out of his nomu state so those three can finally become heros together :’)

god!!!!!!!!!!

[sadoeuphemist]

YouTube Rewind 2028: Back From The Brink | #YouTubeRewind

unpossiblr 4 years ago

Is anyone else still out there? I figure I should post this here because, well, youtube’s still running, isn’t it? There’s got to be someone out there, the engineers or technicians or whatever, whoever you are who’s seeing this. This is crazy, all the lights on, all the videos still playing, and yet it’s so quiet. The trending bar’s on the fritz, I think. Videos with zero views surfacing over and over again, the last ones uploaded before the end. I haven’t watched any of them. I don’t want to. But I’m alive. I don’t know why I’m still alive but I am. And you’re alive too. Whoever’s reading this. Where are you? Please, just contact me somehow. I’ll be refreshing the comments on this video. If you’re out there just say something. I’m all alone. I’m scared.

unpossiblr 4 years ago 

hello? Is anyone else out there? Is anyone else seeing this? The servers have to be up, which means that there’s got to be someone maintaining them. I don’t know if you can see the screen, or if my comments here are just a blip of energy or a light going off or whatever, but you’ve got to see this. Anyone. Just a sign, anything. I’ve been exploring, and there’s no one, no one. I think we may be the only ones left.

unpossiblr 4 years ago

I’m still here.

unpossiblr 4 years ago

I’m still here, and you are too. Say something. Comment. Give me a goddamn like. Or dislike! Make the numbers change. Increment a counter somewhere. I’ve scavenged food. I have shelter. if we can meet up I can help you. Or if we can’t meet up, we can trade info, we can help each other.

We can not be so alone.

unpossiblr 3 years ago

I’m still here. I am leaving a mark. if anyone sees this in the future, contact me. I’m still listening.

unpossiblr 3 years ago

please

DOOMSDAY PREPPERS: 10 Urban Survival Hacks

unpossiblr 3 years ago

bookmarking for future use

A World Without People | Ahrman Dijkgraaf | TEDxKlagenfurt

unpossiblr 3 years ago

bookmark

POST-APOCALYPSE COOKING CHALLENGE |  Can we make something edible with canned CHEESE??

unpossiblr 3 years ago

bookmark

unpossiblr 3 years ago

fucking bullshit

ASMR MUKBANG with LEXIE | Spicy Noodle & Grilled Squid

unpossiblr 3 years ago

I guess I should be leaving comments on these videos, just in case someone else stumbles onto them? Leave a mark. This is a fucking terrible one to start on, but whatever. I haven’t seen anyone else in months, so what if I want to watch someone enjoying a goddamn meal? We eat together, me out of my cans and her in that nicely lit room with all the plates of food laid out so that i can almost smell them and her cute little chopsticks. What, you’re going to fucking judge me for that? Hell, bring it on. Judge me for it all you like, sure. It’ll be an icebreaker, at least.

North Tacoma County Instructional Video on Working with Energized Power Lines

unpossiblr 3 years ago 

I was here.

PTSD and Holistic Qi Gong Meditation Rituals for Recovery and Stress Reduction

unpossiblr 3 years ago

I was here.

The 10 Most Breathtaking Places In The World

unpossiblr 3 years ago

It’s here. It’s just all here. All the videos ever uploaded to youtube. Millions of them. Billions. Every place, every country in the world. All the people. No new videos, no new views but mine, and yet it’s all here, pristine, preserved, while everything else rots away. And as long as I can siphon enough gasoline to keep my generator running, it’s mine, all of it. Everything else has gone to shit. But not this. Not this.

Anti-War Hysteria EXPOSES Liberals’ Scorn For Human Resilience, They Don’t Think We Can Win

unpossiblr 3 years ago

you fucking piece of shit. How’d that chest-thumping go for you, huh? How’d you die? I hope you died scared shitless. I hope you watched all your family die before you, i hope you watched their skin melt away and while they were dying they knew it was your fault and that you couldn’t save them. Fuck you and every sub-literate hooting troglodyte fan of yours who took us right up to the brink and pushed us over

unpossiblr 3 years ago 

@catullus-rex fuck you

unpossiblr 3 years ago

@HorganWoosley how’d you die, huh? I hope it was painful. big guy, big tough guy. you weren’t immune to radiation, were you?

unpossiblr 3 years ago 

@ThatGuyWithTheTopHat did you remember making this comment when you died? Did it flash before your eyes? I hope it was the last thing you remembered, i hope it was all you could think about, what a miserable wrong idiot failure you were, how your entire life was a miserable example of humanity marching off a cliff

unpossiblr 3 years ago

@QD99419 go to hell

unpossiblr 3 years ago

@TheSkepticalGamer who’s alive now, huh? and you’re rotting. you’re dead. you’re meat. I hope you’re one of the bodies I had to drag out of the corridors with your eyeballs burned out like that. you’re stinking rotting meat

fuck you

fuck you all

Ruin Of The Stars - Part 127 | We Meet Our Maker (END)

unpossiblr 2 years ago

I’ve got to tell you man, I’ve watched maybe twenty different let’s plays of this by now, and you’re the only person I’ve ever seen to get the ‘apotheosis’ ending with Nadezhda. I didn’t even know it was possible. That’s the depth of this game, it’s such an underappreciated classic, that even in disintegrating systems of entropy it’s still possible to ‘save’ everyone, if only for a moment, if only in that split-second before you have to cut the tether and let go. That was some real emotion, man, and I’m glad I got to experience this with you. You should really check out wobbletuffet’s let’s play of this, it really diverges from yours, how she deals with the bush crawlers may surprise you!

PRO vs GRANDMA: Chicken Noodle Soup | The Yum Chums

unpossiblr 2 years ago

@jenny-garland lmao you’re right how’s anyone supposed to beat granny’s recipe!

unpossiblr 2 years ago 

@fobby-bray just like my nana used to make :)

Cozy Dinner for Two at an Italian Restaurant [ASMR]

unpossiblr 2 years ago 

My day was actually pretty good, thanks for asking. I found a new cache of canned goods, altho I had to fight off like a feral dog or something to get it. I don’t know what it was for sure, it’s hard to tell when their skin is sloughing off like that. Don’t know how they’re still alive, or how they survived when no one else did - Or maybe they’re not dogs at all, just something else ...

But sorry, yeah, I don’t want to get into work here. This place is lovely. The music, the atmosphere, the ... everything. I love it here. I love our date nights together. Mm. The food’s great. I love it here, just being with you.

unpossiblr 2 years ago

This is so stupid. I just keep coming back to this one video, to our date at Il Fresco, because I can see what’s happening. We’re running out of videos. There’s three more, and that’s it. That’s all you made. That’s all you ever uploaded when you were alive.

And - that’s it. I know you’re dead, I know everyone’s dead. And I could just start again, if I wanted, rewind to the beginning or pick and choose, relive those moments that have faded in my mind, because really they’re preserved forever now. They’re immortal. And I thought - there are millions of videos on youtube. Billions. More than I could ever watch in a lifetime. It’s a world, of which I could only ever experience the smallest part of it. And if I run out of someone’s uploads, well - people die. People die in real life. They are dead in real life. And all I can do is know them, the smallest part of them, for a little while. While they’re here. While it lasts. And I thought - it’s all the videos on youtube. More than I could ever watch. And I really thought I’d be all right.

But there are three videos left, Lexie. And I keep looking at them, the last three, the last three there’ll ever be. And I’m terrified you’re going to die, Lexie. And i don’t know what to do.

Spa Date! [ASMR]

unpossiblr 2 years ago

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I did this. Lexie, you’re dead. And you could have lived forever, all of you, preserved together somehow in this beautiful hall of mirrors that never dies or fades, but I kept watching. It’s the last video you ever made. Will ever make. And you’re dead for real now. Dead for good. Never coming back. I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m sorry Lexie. RIP. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. Rest in peace.

this is the END OF THE WORLD as in Revelations pray for us pray for all humanity

unpossiblr 1 year ago

god why did i watch this. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.

Are We In Hell? // Ask a Satanist

unpossiblr 11 months ago

bookmark

Awww - So Adorable! ♡ Fun and Happy Cutest Baby Animal Compilations of 2028 ♡ | Cute Baby Animals #3

unpossiblr 8 months ago

bookmark

Radiation Poisoning: Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment

unpossiblr 5 months ago

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck ohfuckohfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

fuck me

fuck

Parents and Children React(TM) to Make-A-Wish (Kids with life-threatening illnesses)

unpossiblr 5 months ago

it’ll be okay

it’s just one moment of carelessness, all these fucking years alone and I fuck up once, but it’ll be okay

look how stupid this is and ludicrous and beautiful. it’s a miracle. that everything else died and Youtube, Youtube of all things survived. inexplicably. for no reason. just like me.

and now I’m dying and this is humanity, you know? Youtube. All of it. all that’s left. millions, billions of videos, maybe longer than the lifetime of human civilization, all stacked end to end. more than I could see. more than I could have ever seen. and now I’m throwing up on myself constantly and i can’t eat and my teeth are falling out and i’m going to die and be the worms in the earth, and there’ll just be all these stupid beautiful ludicrous videos playing forever, as a monument to humanity.

it’s okay. we survived. it’s a fucking miracle, but here we are

here we are. all of us. yes.

lofi hip hop radio - beats to sleep/relax to

unpossiblr 5 months ago

can’t even get out of bed anymore. vision’s blurring. it’s okay. it’s okay. just go to sleep and never wake up.

it’s fine, you know that? it’s fine. they’re all immortal, all of them, lexie and maximillian beers and goofyfruit and the yum chums and bombadour and the kids and their parents and grandma with her chicken noodle soup and all of them, everyone i ever loved, all the videos flickering cheerily through their windowed screens

it’s like the world never ended. and i mean that. it almost is. i can loll my neck around and look at the shadows creeping up on the wall and pretend im in my room with my computer and outside the room everything’s going on as normal, has been, for these past four years. they’re still making asmr videos and eating korean bbq and playing video games and building new machines and cooking and having kids and moving to their new studios and living their lives, and i was around for a little while to witness it

the world never ended, you know? it’s just me all alone in here as it gets dark, and everyone, everywhere else.

👍 1

[getrealfunky]

the living are flush-red

(part 1)

(crossposted here)

(part 2 of the maria lives verse!)

(cw/tw for this part: trauma mention, gore mention, pregnancy mention (maybe?), body horror (it gets fixed but u know lol))

SUMMARY:

Venom, as much as they can take away and devour, can also give back and mend. Not just for Eddie, but for Maria, too.

If she's willing.

Maria knows how to stay hidden. From most things, anyway: people if she didn’t want them to look at her (even if she used to stick out, hunched into herself just outside of Mrs Chen’s shop), the police, “well-meaning” “Samaritans”, her relatives-- anything and anyone.

She’d thought she’d exercised her flexible visibility well enough, along with her seemingly astute sense of danger. Some people give off a slimy aura, others are warm. But the Life Corporation had slipped past those filters, and lured her in. Because she was hungry for something other than another night out on the streets.

At least she’s not dead. She’ll have nightmares for sure, and she’s been sick since escaping (squeezing stomach cramps, mostly), but hey, at least she’s alive.

Eddie (and Venom) had noticed. That her stomach cramps had, by the slightest of increments, worsened, leading to being winded and curling in on herself on the couch, eyes squeezed shut as she tried to breathe through the lancing pain. Like breathing through contractions, but that was a thought for another time. Not that she wanted to think about it at all. If she did--

Sometimes, there’s the other thought that being out on the streets would be better than sharing space with the two of them and have them seeing her like this. It was Hell, and she’d hesitated, declined and tried looking elsewhere (besides the space between Mrs Chen’s store and the newspaper stand) (even then, she was’t looking too hard; she’s tried that before, and--), but Eddie had insisted that it wasn’t a problem. Had the gall not to say anything about the bills piling up on his kitchen table.

Somehow, it feels worse than the street. At least there, she didn’t feel like a burden -- shower water, clothes, food, taking up space when pain made her inconvenient. But, again, Eddie, good Eddie, had insisted it was fine. Never insisted she’d stay, but that it was fine. Yeah, it’s the nuance; that’s why she stayed.

She feels cleaner, anyhow.

“Eddie,” she starts, eyeing up the coffee table. The overflow of food over plates is mouthwatering to just look at (not that it’s fancy or gourmet or whatever, but by Jesus, it’s a lot -- c’mon, Eddie), but the smell is still rich like-- Maria pushes the thought away.

“C’mon,” he insists, gesturing to sit and eat with one arm while deflecting Venom's probing tentacles (arms? they look too semi-fluid to be called either) (whatever) from stealing from the plates. It doesn’t work; Maria giggles, watching the back-and-forth banter between Venom and Eddie. Wait a minute vs We are hungry.

A gurgling noise disrupts the bickering. Maria slaps a hand over her stomach. “Shhh-- sorry.” Then a squeeze of pain (kidney? stomach? pancreas?) makes her wince. “Ow.”

“You OK?”

“Yeah, just -- hungry.”

Eddie doesn’t look away from her just yet, although Maria starts digging in with fingers and eyes. The unbidden thought that there is a trace of tearing on the inside of her body (when Venom was forced there by circumstance -- either death in oxygenated air or a multitude of never-quite-matching hosts) hangs over her, ghostlike. It’s been a subject of nebulous nightmares: rotting from the inside out, unfixable, necrotized organs becoming thick black fluid and spilling out of her mouth -- that sorta thing. Somehow, no worse than some other nightmares she’s had.

(Why is it that her mind keeps travelling backwards now?)

(Home means comfort. Comfort leads to complacency. Complacency leads to memories, and it's only a matter of time--)

Her stomach crumples in on itself, tilting her forward on the coffee table, hand over stomach, hand pushing a path through plates and bowls and knocking them over as she tries to breathe it out, begging incoherently stop it hurts stop it hurts stop it hurts, flinching away from Eddie's hands when all he's trying to do is help her onto the couch.

“It hurts, Eddie.”

Shivering, cold fingertips, world sideways, but at least Eddie's stroking her hair. It doesn't help, but he's there.

Venom still scares her.

No, not quite. What happened in the Life Corporation scared her, and it was only because Venom was hungry.

And yes, she knows that Venom had taken a bite or two out of Eddie, but they’d fixed that and Eddie’s fine, now. Better than fine, actually. But Eddie was dying.

... Christ. What does that mean for her?

“Maria.”

She yelps, head snapping up from a half-hearted online search for part-time jobs, the paper ads exhausted.

“Sorry.”

“It’s OK.” She closes the tab and turns in her seat to face Venom. Just as well that they’re only noodling, an extension from Eddie, and not full-formed. She’d probably freak out.

“I can fix it--”

Eddie leans forward, effectively cutting Venom off, and it is forward, because ah, there is something wrong with Maria. She is dying. Well, so much for job-seeking. Eddie extends a hand forward, and that could bridge Venom to her, even though she knows nothing will happen unless she says yes, please fix me, I’d like to live for a little bit more, thanks.

Maria hums. Holds Eddie's hand. Hesitates. He only squeezes her hand; it grounds her. Nothing bad is gonna happen to her if they do something. The fear still lurks. The memory still lurks. And Venom might taste that, freshly.

“If you can fix it, then... please fix it.”

It’s slow, completely the opposite of the glass box where the black blob had chased her (escape was impossible, the space too small, but she wasn’t letting that thing eat her if she could help it, if she could stave it off for one second more) and she’s grateful for that. Perish the memory; they're trying to help her.

Eddie, still grasping her palm in his hand, looks like he’s had the wind punched out of him once Venom slips completely under her skin. Must be strange -- to have nobody in your head, then having someone like Venom, then, even if it’s only for a bit, nobody again.

Your head is clearer now.

Well yes, the threat of the unknown isn’t splotching towards her--

And it doesn’t hurt as much, hearing them there. Only a twinge.

Venom talks clinical, and Eddie reaches for her other hand. It hits her that they must look a strange sight, if anyone could look -- seemingly two people holding hands in the middle of an apartment, staring at each other. Perhaps not too strange, but--

Liver. Kidney.

“Oh.” Should she be dead by now? She repeats: “Liver and kidney, they said.” Eddie nods, brow furrowing before relaxing again.

Quiet, as Venom seems to hum and fix internal bitemarks. If that’s what they are.

Not quite.

She can't tell if they’re being factual, or if she's missing out on nuance of tone -- if they regret it (must do, surely, because all current evidence points to that), or if they’re amused by the idea of actual bitemarks on someone’s internal organs. It could be pretty funny, to be fair.

Maybe Eddie understands better.

Kidney, now.

“That's quick.” A slight laugh; relief.

It doesn’t take much more than five minutes, then Venom says they’re done and Maria sighs as they slip back to Eddie. Relief, again; Eddie breathes in harshly, and Maria lets go, flexing her fingers.

“Your hands are sweaty.”

“Your hands are sweaty,” he shoots back, but he’s rubbing his hands on his jeans anyway.

The next time she feels a stomach cramp, it’s only because of how much she's eaten.

[xadoheandterra]

Title: Don’t Write Me A Postscript Chapter: V (I / II / III / IV / VI / VII / VIII / IX / X / XI / XII / XIII) Fandom: Red vs Blue Characters: David Church | Agent Washington | Recovery One, Micheal Caboose | Agent California | Micheal-210, Church | Alpha Summary: He was all sorts fucked up and didn’t want to admit it. Being alone for fourteen months didn’t help matters--except, well, Church was tired of being alone. Tired of people leaving and dying--and he thought, no more. I’m done. I’m out.

Won’t Say You’re Sorry (I / II / III)

Do You Even Feel Compassion? (I / II)

There were a lot of things Agent Washington expected when he interacted with the Sim Troopers. A lack of fundamental understanding of how the army actually functioned, the realization that they weren’t actually in the middle of a civil war, or the knowledge that Freelancer’s where merely using them as training grounds. Wash didn’t anticipate running into a Sim Trooper like Caboose, who had team kills by the hundreds, who talked to vehicles as if they were alive, and who half the time made no sense at all until hours down the road.

Caboose actually reminded Wash a lot of Idaho. He missed the triplets. They used to talk and hang out a lot before he got bumped up to Alpha Squad—and before they went completely missing. Wash closed his eyes behind his helmet and rubbed at the back of his neck where his implants burned with psychosomatic pain. The real kicker though, after Kaikaina ‘Sister’ Grif and meeting the AWOL Captain of Red Team Sarge, was honestly Church. Wash eyed Caboose who stood in front of the base with his arms spread out wide.

“Fuck! I missed him!”

Wash watched as the bullets missed Caboose, sometimes by a hair, and yet the larger SPARTAN-esque Sim Trooper just stood there, happy. It defied logic and reason and Washington couldn’t understand it. Was there something in the water? He has to be hallucinating. That was the only thing that made sense.

Wash sucked in a breath. Breath, David, he’s a shit shot and you are fine.

“This is your friend?” Washington asked, and he felt a part of his throat tighten because what kind of friend fires live arounds at another?

Caboose lowered his arms and turned to look at Washington through his helmet and he sounded kind of exasperated as he said, “Yeah.”

“And he’s…shooting at you?” Washington asked, because he felt like he needed to clarify. Who thought shit like this was normal? Several more shots rang out, followed by ever increasing vitriolic curses, and Wash forced himself to breath. He counted back and muttered under his breath the exercises his therapist taught him.

Wash came back at the tail end of Caboose’s response.

“…something up about me killing him, but uh, that’s only the truth. Uh,” Caboose paused, then hastily corrected, “it’s a joke.”

I had to have misheard, Washington thought weakly.

“You can play along if you want!” Caboose chirped.

“That—that doesn’t—you did—you—killed him?” Wash squeaked.

Three more shots went off, and then Church actually popped his head up and shrieked at them and Washington wanted to bury his head and groan.

“Seriously! Get the fuck outta here!”

Maybe there was something in the water at Blood Gulch? Washington thought while Caboose yelled back—and then Church reached a pitch that went right through his brain and he rubbed at his implants again with a faint grown. Or maybe I’m hallucinating due to starvation or something. When was the last time I ate? That…ration bar? How long ago was that? Yesterday?

“What is wrong with you?!” Church shrieked again, and Washington decided he had enough. He stepped out from behind the rock, then quickly jumped back when a shot hit the dirt in front of him.

Wash raised his hands, sucked in a breath, and shouted, “Open the gate!” because fuck—he felt like he was in some weird film and his head hurt with forgotten memories.

“No can do!” Church shouted back down. At least, Wash noted weakly, he’d shouldered his weapon. “This here is a secure facility. No one in, no one out! So scram! Get! And don’t come back!”

Wash stared up at Church, then glanced over to the caution taped and marked off giant hole in the wall, and then back to Church. He wondered if he should even bother to deadpan a reply. They stared at one another for a moment longer, and Wash closed his eyes.

“You have a giant fucking hole in your oh so secure wall,” Washington said bluntly. “I could, of course, just walk in.”

A beat, a moment of silence, and then a loud groan and a growled response of, “Fine!” Washington waited for the door to grind open on damaged gears.

Caboose tore into the facility first. He practically bounced up to Church and squeezed him into a hug while Washington gingerly stepped along behind him. The place was an utter wreck. Vaguely Washington remembered pulling the files on Outpost 48—the two Sim Teams wiped one another out so completely that Command had issues in filling in replacements and repairs.

“Put—put me down! Caboose! Put me down dammit!”

Washington stared, watched as Church struggled in Caboose’s grip for a moment, and then sighed heavily. This was going to be a headache, he could already tell.

Thirty minutes of Caboose squeezing and chattering on about all that happened at Rats Nest and Church had, miraculously, guided them toward the decrepit kitchenette in the base. Somehow he got Caboose to sit still, and Caboose actually tore off his helmet when Church rummaged through the fridge—he grumbled something about how half the food was rotted and he’d need to put in a request again before he pulled out what looked like orange juice.

“Smell that for me buddy,” Church said and handed the cartoon to Caboose. “Let me know if it’s still good.”

Caboose cheerfully accepted the carton and twisted off the cap. He took a sniff and crinkled his nose before he tipped the carton back and began to drink. Church scrambled to grab the carton away and Wash watched it all with the fascination of a train wreck in progress.

“Goddammit moron don’t drink it! Fuck just tell me if it’s rancid—you’re going to make yourself sick you stupid—” Church wrestled the carton away and tossed it into the bin before he scrambled for a cup and quickly twisted the faucet for water. He shoved that at Caboose, along with what looked like some sort of pills, and quickly commanded the large man to drink.

“It was okay! Only a little bad!” Caboose said, but he drank as ordered and Washington felt like an outsider. “My stomach is lead-based. I’ll be fine, I think, won’t I Church?”

Church groaned and flopped down into another chair. Washington thought he mumbled something about how it was a miracle that Caboose wasn’t dead yet before he raised his helmeted head to look at Wash and somehow Washington could just tell the man was exasperated as much as he was happy.

“So,” Church said blandly. “A Freelancer Agent. Here.”

Washington blinked behind his mask. “Recovery Agent actually.”

“Even fucking better,” Church spat out and leaned his head back.

Washington wondered if he should just ask—the food was apparently rotted and as far as he could tell there was no one else in this decrepit, rundown base. He sucked in a breath and decided to just go for it. “Uhm, how—how long have you been here?”

Church rubbed at his helmet in the way one would rub at their hair and then glanced up at Wash tiredly. “What day is today?” Church questioned.

“Tuesday,” Washington said quickly.

“Fourteen months,” Church shot back just as quick and Washington wondered what the day had to do with calculating the length of time in High Ground. “To the day,” Church added, and Wash gaped.

“F—fourteen months? Alone? Here?”

“Yeah,” Church said tiredly. “Been great. Just…really fucking awesome.” Church glanced to Caboose. “Caboose, drink all of it.”

“Okay!”

Wash glanced to Caboose as well and watched the man tip back the glass and drank.

Church sucked in a breath and turned back to Wash and said blandly, “So, Recovery Agent, what the fuck are you doing here at High Ground?” After a second he added, “And how did you even know I was here?”

Caboose answered for him before he could—and he looked rather sheepish about it all too. Washington was reminded how Caboose explained that he snuck a look at the transfer papers and how Church hadn’t really wanted him to know.

“Oh that’s my fault,” Caboose said. “Agent Washingtub wanted people who dealt with Omega and you dealt with Omega the most and I knew where you were so I said I’d lead him here! And here we are!”

Church turned to Caboose. “Caboose,” he said, and the words were ground out with frustration. “It was supposed to be a secret.”

“But what if you were in trouble, Church?” Caboose whined. “What if I needed to rescue you?”

Church sighed again and turned back to Washington. “Does Command know you’re here?”

Washington blinked. “Not yet. I haven’t updated them to the situation. Which reminds me I should—”

“Wait, wait! Don’t call Command yet!” Church scrambled across to grab Washington’s hand like that would stop him from activating his radio. He listened, however, curious as to what the man wanted to say. “This is about Omega?”

Washington said slowly, “Yes, and no.”

Church scowled beneath his helmet. “That is not a fucking answer!”

Washington opened his mouth to respond when Caboose started speaking up again. “Church. Church.”

“Oh my god Caboose finish your water,” Church ground out—he didn’t even bother to look at the other soldier.

“But I did. I finished the water. But, uh, my tummy feels a bit weird?” There was a pause, before Caboose continued, “Uhm, yeah, I am going to be sick.”

Church groaned, held up a hand to stall Washington, and quickly started leading Caboose out of the kitchenette.

“This is why you don’t drink spoiled food, rookie!” Church snapped out while he walked away. Washington wondered how he was going to survive being surrounded by morons. Was this divine punishment? Washington wondered, for a long moment, if he really was suffering from some sort of fever dream brought on by hunger.

“Oh my god Caboose in the toilet! In the toilet!”

Wash dropped his head to the table and wished for simpler days.

They left Agent Washington for thirty minutes, and part of that was because fuck did Church miss this, and fuck did Caboose miss this too. After the mess in the bathroom Church helped Caboose out of his armor—minimal help needed, the man knew how to get his own armor off he just liked to get Church to help him. Church discarded his own armor, resolved to dump them off to get clean later because right now he just—

(his caboose)

(he came back)

—just wanted to rest. Caboose wanted to cuddle. They made the best of the mess and settled down onto Church’s rarely used bed, Church with his back to the fortified wall and Caboose half in his lap, face pressed to his lower stomach, arms wrapped tight around him in a hug. Church sighed and let it just be. Subconsciously his hands stroked through Caboose’s hair, and they rested there for a half hour.

(he came back)

When thirty minutes ticked over Church nudged at Caboose.

“Buddy I need to go and get our armor situated,” Church said.

“Dunwanna,” Caboose mumbled.

“I get that,” Church replied calmly, “but if I don’t dump them into the tub to get cleaned they’re going to smell like vomit forever.”

“I dun’like vomit,” Caboose mumbled again. “I’sucks.”

Church snorted. “Of course it does. Should’ve just did what I said rookie and not drank the damn thing.”

“Jus’a little.”

“Nope, we are not doing this,” Church nudged Caboose a bit harder. “Come on. You dragged a damn Freelancer agent into my base. We left him alone for thirty minutes, and our armor stinks.”

“S’nice,” Caboose mumbled. “’Ashingtub.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure he’s a real peach,” Church drawled, “but I don’t trust him.”

“’st’me?” Caboose shifted, tightened his grip. Church sighed, his fingers in Caboose’s dark-wheat-like hair, and they tightened slightly.

“Yeah, buddy,” Church mumbled. “Of course I do.”

For a second nothing happened, then Caboose sighed and shifted off of Church. He grabbed at the pillow and buried his face into it, and Church relaxed just a bit.

“’Ome back,” Caboose said, and he shifted to look at Church with one pale blue eye.

“Of course. Just gotta take care of shit,” Church said as he got up from the bed. “Just relax. I’ll get you some more water too. If you have to throw up, for the love of god make sure you get it in the bucket.”

“Kay.”

Church rubbed a hand over his face and resigned himself to having to clean up vomit if Caboose did have to throw up again. The man lived to try his patience sometimes. With a huff and purpose Church strode out of the room. He headed first to the bathroom, thankfully he couldn’t smell, and gathered up the soiled bits of armor.

This particular base had an automated system for cleaning armor. When Church first discovered it he’d stared and wondered why. At Blood Gulch if the armor got dirty they had to clean it themselves. This was higher tech than any Sim Outpost should rightly had. Not only did it clean the armor, but it helped removed unwanted smells that Church and Caboose and Tucker otherwise had to live with when they cleaned their armor themselves. Sure it took longer to work but the benefits outweighed anything. Plus, Church really didn’t want to clean up vomit off of power armor.

Once he’d dumped the armor into place, wiggled and finagled the power to actually get the machine to work, Church headed back to the kitchenette. Agent Washington was not there, and Church cursed loudly. Just fucking perfect. Now he had a Freelancer Agent, Recovery Agent or not, wandering around High Ground unattended. He didn’t like the itch he felt with that. He didn’t know Agent Washington.

(he should be dead)

(he is dead)

(who is this?)

He didn’t know this Agent Washington. Church felt something was off, something was wrong. He hissed a breath and turned on heel. He needed to find the Freelancer, and now.

[eleutheriana-archive]

I just watched a video from Star Wars Theory about what might happen if Anakin killed Obi-wan on Mustafar, then Palpatine, and became the Emperor, but i didn't like the story they set up for Padme, so i figured there is no one better than you to ask: If Anakin became the Emperor, how would Padme react, and what would she do?

i just want you to know i saw this before i ate breakfast and got online and i’ve been highkey crying about it since then and i didn’t want to touch it until i had enough coffee. but like ??? i’m ???? ‘no better than you to ask’.

me: starts fucking bawling

I’M JUST !!! THANK YOU !!! SO MUCH !! FOR TRUSTING ME TO DO OUR GIRL SOME JUSTICE

but okay !! onto the question –––– if anakin had killed obi-wan and palpatine and crowned himself emperor, what would have padmé done ?

so let’s start at the beginning of the mustafar scene with this one, because i need to go into this in a meta somewhere and i think this is the perfect time to talk about it. i’ve mentioned this before here and there in passing but there was a scrapped part of rots where padmé gave birth before mustafar and then effectively went after darth vader with a knife, which is normally what i consider to be canon for my padmé verses where she doesn’t die in childbirth, and like….padmé pulling a knife on anakin on mustafar is pretty much canon for my padmé regardless. the reason for this ––––– i’ve talked a lot before about how padmé feels RESPONSIBLE for anakin in a lot of respects, and knowing that she, in a way, caused his fall into the dark side….she’s going to feel responsible for the monster he’s made himself into, and she’s going to feel like it’s her responsibility to kill him. this isn’t an act of hatred or anger. this is an act of love. padmé loves her husband, she loves anakin, and she knows that deep down the man she fell in love with would not want to see himself become this monster. padmé’s mentality here is a matter of ‘i made him into this, i have to unmake him. i owe him that.’ so like keep that mentality in mind while you read this. padmé feels like she made darth vader. it is her responsibility to unmake vader. 

so we open on mustafar, we’re going to say for the sake of argument here that padmé has not yet given birth. she runs down to try and talk anakin down, it doesn’t work, vader takes over, and while embracing him, she pulls out a vibrodagger and tries to end that motherfucker. also doesn’t work, because he’s a sith lord now and padmé, god bless her, is not force sensitive, and does not have jedi reflexes. vader chokes her to the point of unconsciousness with the mentality that he’ll come back for her and the child when he’s done with obi-wan ( and if that sentence doesn’t fill you with the blessed and holy spirit of perpetual yikes idk what will ) and then goes to duel obi-wan. in this universe, obi-wan dies at vader’s hand. 

WHILE THIS IS GOING ON: padmé has woken up from being unconscious, manages to stumble back onto the ship. somewhere in this process, her water breaks. this is important, because SHE WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT OBI-WAN ON MUSTAFAR OTHERWISE. it’s VITAL for padmé’s survival that she gets off mustafar before the duel ends, but she would not leave obi-wan there unless she goes into labor. obi-wan is one of her best friends, she trusts obi-wan with her life, and she would not leave him ––– unless her child is in more pressing danger. 

so she leaves mustafar and hates herself for it, is probably sobbing the entire time because not only is her husband dead, but she’s just left her friend to certain death, and her baby’s on the way and there’s literally nothing she can do to stop any of this, but it’s really important to note –––– SHE GETS IT DONE. 

she probably makes it to the rendezvous point on polis massa with like contractions less than two minutes apart and six centimeters dilated but the point here is that she makes it. she gives birth to luke and leia, which is a long and grueling process, and she’s highkey in shock and about to crush bail’s hand, but because vader isn’t dying and palpatine isn’t leeching off her life force, padmé doesn’t die in labor.

now, this is probably around the time they find out obi-wan didn’t make it. i’m assuming, for the sake of ease with this storyline, that anakin/vader goes straight back to palpatine, some exposition happens there that i’m less concerned about because this isn’t about that, it’s about padmé, and anakin/vader kills palpatine. now, vader’s named himself emperor, is probably ready to hunt down his child and his wife, dead or alive, and padmé is. not. about. this. fucking. business. the reason luke and leia had been separated was because it would be harder for the empire to find them, and i stand by that in a verse where palpatine survives and is ruling the galaxy with an iron fist, but in a world where it’s vader vs his wife ? nope. it’ll be a cold day in space hell before padmé lets anyone take her children away from her. 

FIRST ORDERS OF BUSINESS: get her family off naboo and find sanctuary for herself and her children. vader has enough of anakin left in him to know that the naberrie family is the first place to look for information, and padmé knows that, so she would get her family off planet first and foremost. while i’m attached to the idea of padmé hiding on alderaan, it’s not the smartest move, given that her friendship with bail and breha is public knowledge. now, knowing what padmé knows about anakin, she’s not going to take them to tatooine. while anakin would never want to set foot on that planet again, owen and beru are still there, and padmé doesn’t have the added security of sand straight up destroying vader’s suit in this verse. so with all that in mind, she’d find a remote planet, something that they do not have personal history on. somewhere like dantooine. she’d follow mon mothma and the rebellion, with luke strapped to her back and leia strapped to her chest, and work as a leader of the rebellion against the empire that her former husband is now the head of. 

the main difference here is that ANAKIN WOULD STOP AT NOTHING TO FIND HIS CHILDREN AND HIS WIFE. and padmé would rather set herself on fire than see him ever come near their children. she’d probably move around more and hide significantly more. she’d use an alias, and her priority would always be her children. she’d be hell bent on taking vader down, because, again, this is her responsibility, but luke and leia’s safety would remain, always, her priority. ( if i’m being honest she’s probably the one on the ship that gets the death star plans and then confronts vader directly with the same vibrodagger she tried to kill him with nineteen years prior and it all comes full circle but anyway !!!!!! ) 

so yeah that’s how i feel like her life would go thank you for letting me ramble about this i love you.

[magpiewritingthing]

not the bitter dead sea / 2

Part: 2; the living are flush-red

Series: not the bitter dead sea

Chapter Summary: Venom, as much as they can take away and devour, can also give back and mend. Not just for Eddie, but for Maria, too.

If she's willing.

Warnings: trauma mention, gore mention, pregnancy mention, body horror (it gets fixed but u know lol)

Other notes: post-movie in Maria Survives AU uwu

Maria knows how to stay hidden. From most things, anyway: people if she didn’t want them to look at her (even if she used to stick out, hunched into herself just outside of Mrs Chen’s shop), the police, “well-meaning” “Samaritans”, her relatives-- anything and anyone.

She’d thought she’d exercised her flexible visibility well enough, along with her seemingly astute sense of danger. Some people give off a slimy aura, others are warm. But the Life Corporation had slipped past those filters, and lured her in. Because she was hungry for something other than another night out on the streets.

At least she’s not dead. She’ll have nightmares for sure, and she’s been sick since escaping (squeezing stomach cramps, mostly), but hey, at least she’s alive.

Eddie (and Venom) had noticed. That her stomach cramps had, by the slightest of increments, worsened, leading to being winded and curling in on herself on the couch, eyes squeezed shut as she tried to breathe through the lancing pain. Like breathing through contractions, but that was a thought for another time. Not that she wanted to think about it at all. If she did--

Sometimes, there’s the other thought that being out on the streets would be better than sharing space with the two of them and have them seeing her like this. It was Hell, and she’d hesitated, declined and tried looking elsewhere (besides the space between Mrs Chen’s store and the newspaper stand) (even then, she wasn’t looking too hard; she’s tried that before, and--), but Eddie had insisted that it was’'t a problem. Had the gall not to say anything about the bills piling up on his kitchen table.

Somehow, it feels worse than the street. At least there, she didn’t feel like a burden -- shower water, clothes, food, taking up space when pain made her inconvenient. But, again, Eddie, good Eddie, had insisted it was fine. Never insisted she’d stay, but that it was fine. Yeah, it’s the nuance; that’s why she stayed.

She feels cleaner, anyhow.

“Eddie,” she starts, eyeing up the coffee table. The overflow of food over plates is mouthwatering to just look at (not that it’s fancy or gourmet or whatever, but by Jesus, it’s a lot -- c’mon, Eddie), but the smell is still rich like-- Maria pushes the thought away.

“C’mon,” he insists, gesturing to sit and eat with one arm while deflecting Venom’s probing tentacles (arms? they look too semi-fluid to be called either) (whatever) from stealing from the plates. It doesn’t work; Maria giggles, watching the back-and-forth banter between Venom and Eddie. Wait a minute vs We are hungry.

A gurgling noise disrupts the bickering. Maria slaps a hand over her stomach. “Shhh-- sorry.” Then a squeeze of pain (kidney? stomach? pancreas?) makes her wince. “Ow.”

“You OK?”

“Yeah, just -- hungry.”

Eddie doesn’t look away from her just yet, although Maria starts digging in with fingers and eyes. The unbidden thought that there is a trace of tearing on the inside of her body (when Venom was forced there by circumstance -- either death in oxygenated air or a multitude of never-quite-matching hosts) hangs over her, ghostlike. It’s been a subject of nebulous nightmares: rotting from the inside out, unfixable, necrotized organs becoming thick black fluid and spilling out of her mouth -- that sorta thing. Somehow, no worse than some other nightmares she's had.

(Why is it that her mind keeps travelling backwards now?)

(Home means comfort. Comfort leads to complacency. Complacency leads to memories, and it's only a matter of time--)

Her stomach crumples in on itself, tilting her forward on the coffee table, hand over stomach, hand pushing a path through plates and bowls and knocking them over as she tries to breathe it out, begging incoherently stop it hurts stop it hurts stop it hurts, flinching away from Eddie’s hands when all he’s trying to do is help her onto the couch.

“It hurts, Eddie.”

Shivering, cold fingertips, world sideways, but at least Eddie’s stroking her hair. It doesn’t help, but he’s there.

Venom still scares her.

No, not quite. What happened in the Life Corporation scared her, and it was only because Venom was hungry.

And yes, she knows that Venom had taken a bite or two out of Eddie, but they’d fixed that and Eddie’s fine, now. Better than fine, actually. But Eddie was dying.

... Christ. What does that mean for her?

“Maria.”

She yelps, head snapping up from a half-hearted online search for part-time jobs, the paper ads exhausted.

“Sorry.”

“It’s OK.” She closes the tab and turns in her seat to face Venom. Just as well that they’re only noodling, an extension from Eddie, and not full-formed. She’d probably freak out.

“I can fix it--”

Eddie leans forward, effectively cutting Venom off, and it is forward, because ah, there is something wrong with Maria. She is dying. Well, so much for job-seeking. Eddie extends a hand forward, and that could bridge Venom to her, even though she knows nothing will happen unless she says yes, please fix me, I’d like to live for a little bit more, thanks.

Maria hums. Holds Eddie’s hand. Hesitates. He only squeezes her hand; it grounds her. Nothing bad is gonna happen to her if they do something. The fear still lurks. The memory still lurks. And Venom might taste that, freshly.

“If you can fix it, then... please fix it.”

It’s slow, completely the opposite of the glass box where the black blob had chased her (escape was impossible, the space too small, but she wasn’t letting that thing eat her if she could help it, if she could stave it off for one second more) and she’s grateful for that. Perish the memory; they’re trying to help her.

Eddie, still grasping her palm in his hand, looks like he’s had the wind punched out of him once Venom slips completely under her skin. Must be strange -- to have nobody in your head, then having someone like Venom, then, even if it’s only for a bit, nobody again.

Your head is clearer now.

Well yes, the threat of the unknown isn’t splotching towards her--

And it doesn't hurt as much, hearing them there. Only a twinge.

Venom talks clinical, and Eddie reaches for her other hand. It hits her that they must look a strange sight, if anyone could look -- seemingly two people holding hands in the middle of an apartment, staring at each other. Perhaps not too strange, but--

Liver. Kidney.

“Oh.” Should she be dead by now? She repeats: “Liver and kidney, they said.” Eddie nods, brow furrowing before relaxing again.

Quiet, as Venom seems to hum and fix internal bitemarks. If that’s what they are.

Not quite.

She can't tell if they’re being factual, or if she’s missing out on nuance of tone -- if they regret it (must do, surely, because all current evidence points to that), or if they’re amused by the idea of actual bitemarks on someone’s internal organs. It could be pretty funny, to be fair.

Maybe Eddie understands better.

Kidney, now.

“That's quick.” A slight laugh; relief.

It doesn't take much more than five minutes, then Venom says they’re done and Maria sighs as they slip back to Eddie. Relief, again; Eddie breathes in harshly, and Maria lets go, flexing her fingers.

“Your hands are sweaty.”

“Your hands are sweaty,” he shoots back, but he’s rubbing his hands on his jeans anyway.

The next time she feels a stomach cramp, it’s only because of how much she’s eaten.