#dying rn agh

[m3char0b0l0v3r]

Last line Challenge

Rules:

In a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or however many as you like).

Tagged by: @ntls-24722 (Thankz 4 the tag ^_^!)

Last line:

"Ur- actually not gonna lock us up forever dumbass. Ur just bein' pissy because u got a mall to guard. Ain't that right Mikaela?" Sam says, her elbow knocking into her side, if she could with handcuffs.

A draft in my bay fic lol.. I'm working on it >;(

Last line:

It’s a oc for FPE (Fundamental paper education) which I have no idea I got in the fandom??

Bam art wip revealed

[emmabebe0906]

COME BACK I MISS UU😭😭 you shaped my childhood i found your works when i was 12 IM 17 NOW i miss slyth i miss YOUR OCSSS WE MISS YOUUU

:(

im sorry to disappoint you, i cant draw as much as i used to. my body has severely deteriorated compared to when i was able to draw every day, back in... um.. when was it.. it feels like its been so long i dont really remember when it started. im gonna guess around 2020/2021 maybe?? i feel like it was before that but im not sure.

either way, i miss the days when i was younger too. youre not alone in that.

i have a lot of mental and physical problems i've been working very hard to fix, and ive been slowly but surely trying to get healthier. ive been to a lot of doctors and specialists and i even stayed at an eating disorder center for a while. i dont want to go into too much detail about my personal life but the past few years have been entirely focused on improving myself.

i also finished college, so im trying to find my place in the world on top of all of that. i really wanted to do animation/art as my career, i even got a degree in computer animation... but i dont feel like i learned much... and i cant sit in a chair long enough to actually get any work done. its so painful to draw, and even exist for that matter. im in a lot of pain, constantly. it sucks. ive been working really hard, but if i dont improve soon. i might need to pursue a different profession.

i do have a lot of art i havent posted here that i plan to post eventually, but ive been very preoccupied. on hiatus basically. sorry to everyone on discord i havent replied to (i have so many dms but no energy to keep up with this online identity T_T). ive taken a severe step back from the internet as a whole, and everyone on it, i guess. id like to create more original content... but because of everything that's happened, my creative juices arent flowing as much anymore.

i hope you all wont miss me too much. id like to come back some day, i hope i can get better soon. i love you guys, and thanks for checking up on me anon. it means a lot to me that people still care/think about me. heres a slyth doodle i made for you, he misses you too.

[nintendont2502]

In my emotionally horny* character arc rn

*lonely

[kingdomhearts-and-soriku-trash]

Okay so change of plans since I’m impatient for some reason and fear how long this will take. I’m going to load the save I made before I did the final battles with Ansem, and I’m going to try and finish him and technically finish a whole run of KH 1.

Whenever I actually have the patience and time for it, I’ll finish this current run of KH 1 since I do wanna redo it, but at the same time I don’t😭.

[crownstar]

love recently every time something good is happening in my life something worse happens at the SAME TIME

[epicqtefail]

still cannot get over the fact that in game hank and connor know each other for 3 days, 3 and a half tops? like, how do you have such an effect on someone you've literally just met? they met evening of nov 5th and last chance connor is nov 9th, yet they have all those scenes that make it seem like they've been attached at the hip for the last five years, at the minimum? countless times where they have a chance to kill each other? in 3 days?? i want to leave such a bold impression on ppl i meet irl

i think about this all the time!! still recovering from the whiplash of it. And doesn't Partners through to The Bridge all happen in 24 hours??? that's bananas!

In the space of 24 hours Hank goes from "be a good little robot and get outta here before i crush you like an empty beer can", to bringing the robot to a sentimental spot possibly because he is aching to share his trauma with someone but this comfortably doesn't count because connor "isn't real" although he kind of wants him to be real, or at least show some sign that connor thinks the android and connor situation is messed up too, and so tries to force an existential crisis on him by pointing a gun at him and asking him if he's afraid to die and what he thinks will come after.

*big inhale*

AND THEN,, then after those 3 or so days, Amanda or Connor-60 or whichever cyberlife exec is pulling their strings recognise that Hank is Connor's Achille's Heel. After 3 days of bickering and throwing tantrums at each other and forcing each other to confront their respective crises and playing dress-up-lieutenant. and so they essentially use Hank as the kidnapped damsel in distress to sabotage Connor's involvement in the revolution.

OR they try to kill each other to death in the most This Is Personal fight i've ever seen.

they really did a number on each other in those few days, for better or worse. and the same thing is happening in Markus' and Kara's stories but the constant high stakes survival drama of theirs makes the bonds and conflicts seem more appropriate in terms of intensity. whereas hank and connor are kind of just hanging out for half of it.. but boy is it intense.

(agh I'm DYING to make a joke rn that pokes fun at the way they immediately stopped being Just Hank and Just Connor like 1 day in and became Hank & Connor instead... But that "joke" is also some fanart i started a while back and i still need to have that reason to finish it lol. but just know im currently the meme of that guy straining so hard the veins in his head are bulging)

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

hello mod goldmary here is the promised essay about alear's gender

so. let's start with the obvious. the "dragons as a metaphor for gender" thing. it is very easy to slot Fell Dragon and Divine Dragon into agab and gender identity respectively. Alear was a Fell Dragon, now they're a Divine Dragon. Alear used to be their agab, now they're something else.

i don't have the spoons to find screenshots rn so uh. just take my word for it lol. but in Chapter 20, after Griss does the big reveal (which can be read as outing in this interpretation), Alear's friends assure them that they are who they choose to be, not what they're born as. Timerra literally says "if you wanna be a Divine Dragon, you're a Divine Dragon." actually fuck it we're going all in with the metaphor. so Chapter 20 in this interpretation is basically: Griss outs Alear and Alear gets (understandably) really distressed; they lose all confidence in themselves, they believe their friends are better off not associating with them, they feel like they've been lying to everyone, and they're worried that the people around them will see them differently because of this. Alear's friends assure them that it's okay, Alear is their friend, they're not lying about their identity, and they even affirm Alear's identity (see Timerra's quote above).

speaking of affirmation, let's look at a place where. there isn't much of it. yippee, Sombron's transphobic now. "No child of mine shall live as a Divine Dragon. Death was this one's inexorable fate" yeah fuck you too bitch. in Chapter 20, Sigurd mentions that Sombron "turned his back on [Alear]" and that Alear's "life was in danger." basically, Sombron disowned Alear for being trans and threatened them with physical violence, which unfortunately happens too frequently to trans people. Eveyle also disowns Alear in her boss dialogue in Chapter 21. i don't remember the words exactly but basically Eveyle calls Alear a coward for turning to Lumera (in this metaphor, finding a support network that affirms their identity) and says that they are not her sibling.

Sombron then kills Alear in what is obviously a transphobic hatecrime (this is a joke, the actual scene fits better as a metaphor for child abuse)

the Chapter 22 flashback (the one where tomato Alear commits PatricideTM) is. augh. as Alear is dying in Lumera's arms, they lament how they wish they could be more like her. Lumera is their role model. Lumera is everything they're not in their mind, even though they did something heroic. they are who they wished they were, but they can't see that beyond all the pain and trauma they've suffered. the fact that they're a Fell Dragon is at the forefront of their mind when they finally fall asleep. their last thoughts before the coma are literally their dysphoria like. ough agh ow.

can you tell i'm normal about past alear

also yeah. the blue hair is just. dragon transition. lol

i will admit i'm. not totally sure where Corrupted Alear fits into this metaphor. uh. BUT Emblem Alear is Alear fully embracing their gender identity. they've had doubts in their Divine-Dragonness before (aka they wonder if they're really their chosen gender identity), but here they embrace it. congrats to them on their transition. i've always wanted to make that joke. the really interesting part is that they don't totally reject their Fell-Dragonness, though. yes, their Emblem form is fully divine, but their normal form? still red and blue. there are multiple ways to interpret this and I love all of them equally.

oh yeah. Alear's immune to transphobia now. Griss rubs Alear's Fell Dragon lineage into their face, essentially saying that Alear will always be their agab in this metaphor. Alear's response? "Lol ok. why are you such a bitch." pop off king (gender neutral)

AND THAT BRINGS ME. TO CHAPTER 24. i have. an entire thing written about it. on my blog. lemme see if i can find it

OK HERE IT IS:

ok so if we're going with the idea that Alear is a trans allegory then

does that mean Past Alear's interactions with Alear in chap 24 could be read as gender envy

(incoherent word dump about Alear's gender thoughts under read more)

“this is like looking in a mirror. what I see... bothers me”

suddenly i am not normal. i am pointing and screaming and sobbing

it's like if you ever look at someone who is everything you wished you were, and you hate yourself for it, you hate how you are, you hate that you were born like this, and attaining that is so clearly unachievable, it is literally physically impossible to change the body you were born with to ever match that. you hate yourself for even having those thoughts in the first place, because this was how you have always been and always will be, no matter what

and you have no idea it is actually possible to change this, because you grew up with the idea that this is what you are, you have to fulfill that role like this this and this, and if you don't you're defective and wrong. if you want to throw that label away in favor of something else, you're a failure and don't have the right to live. you grew up with this label and it doesn't fit right at all, like a shirt 5 sizes too small, but you have no idea it's possible to change that label into something right. that label defines you and sticks to you everywhere you go, it defines your relationships with others, it defines your relationship with the world around you, and you wish you were born differently, that you weren't so aware of this crawling feeling in your skin.

but you push all of that aside, because if your father realizes you feel this way, he'll kill you, like he killed all of your other siblings, and that terrifies you. you keep walking down this path that you hate, because it's the safest option you have. and being safe is better than being yourself when you don't even know what "yourself" is.

----

tldr Past Alear has really bad dysphoria but can't really do anything about it because they don't even know being trans is possible. and also that trying to experiment is incredibly dangerous in this environment

again i want to point out how Present Alear doesn't reject Past Alear. in fact, they seem to come to a greater understanding of themself afterwards.

when it comes to like. the trans lens of Present and Past Alear's relationship, i've always seen it as Present Alear coming to peace with their dysphoria. Past Alear vents all of their frustrations with their life, with themself (Past Alear comparing themself to the Corrupted and then immediately following that up with how much they hate the Corrupted. ough), and Present Alear listens. they provide assurance to Past Alear, and though that assurance falls on deaf ears, Present Alear never stops being kind.

so. yeah. Alear trans :thumbsup emoji:

👀

[yelenasdiary]

New Friend Request

Pairing: Gamer! Kate Bishop x Reader

Summary: After posting on a subreddit looking for people to play a new game with, you received a new friend request.  

| Comfort? | 0.8K | No Warnings | 

AC: Here is something a little different to my usual works! I hope you enjoy this, I found it pretty fun to write!

It was Friday night, you had a weekend off from work and had planned to sit down with plenty of snacks and binge play a new video game you just treated yourself too. The only downside was that all your friends that you played video games with were either busy this weekend or had no interest in playing the new game you'd been waiting so long to play.

With a sigh and nerves kicking around in your stomach you decide to post on a subreddit asking if anybody else would like somebody to play with over the weekend. It wasn't something you'd done before but you liked playing games with friends more than playing solo.

Hours had past and your phone was left dry, not a single notification from anybody reacting to your post. Another sigh left your body as you tossed your phone to the side and decided to turn your PS4 off.

*DING*

(LuckyArrow has sent a friend request)

The notification stared at you deeply as the feeling of excitement and relief soon filled you. You punched in your passcode and quickly accepted the strangers friend request.

LuckyArrow: Hey! are you still looking for somebody to play Dying Light 2 with? I saw your post on reddit! ☺️

yourusername: Hey, I am! I just thought the game and none of my friends want to play it with me 😩

LuckyArrow: agh! that sucks! I have a friend, Yelena, she doesn't play video games much and refuses to play with me! If you want, I'd love to play it with you. Have you played the first one?

yourusername: That would be great! Thanks! I'm assuming your user is LuckyArrow on PSN aswell? I have played the first, have you? Oh! btw, I'm Y/n!

LuckyArrow: Sure is! You have a cute name! I'm Kate, are you from New York?

yourusername: Oh wow! 😅 Don't take this the wrong way but I wasn't expecting you to be a girl! I actually just moved to NYC! Are you also from here?

LuckyArrow: You'd be surprised how many of us female gamers are out here ☺️ Where did you move from? if you don't mind me asking

yourusername: Just a small town that was hella boring! hence why I got into video games haha!

LuckyArrows: I hope you don't mind, I had a look at some of the game you play! You have good taste, how far are you into the story of Dying Light?

yourusername: Thanks! & not very far, I don't really like playing games solo most of the time. I've completed the first couple of missions though so I'm able to play co-op.

LuckyArrows: Awesome! Well, I have plenty of time tonight if you'd like to play now? If not, just let me know when you're free and we'll work something out ☺️

yourusername: Actually, I'm free all weekend so now would be great! Do you wanna play on my save or we can start one on your game? Whatever works ☺️

LuckyArrow: I've already completed it, let's just do a save on your game! Send me an invite x

LuckyArrow: Sorry about the x!!!! I'm just used to sending it to friends 😅😅

yourusername: Don't stress! it's okay ☺️ I'll send you an invite rn!

Friday night soon faded into the early hours of Saturday morning, plenty of laughs and jokes were made between you and your new friend, Kate. You learnt a lot about her, you felt comfortable with her even though she technically is still a stranger online, you both planned to meet for pizza for lunch.

Who knew that a simple post online would lead to you making a new friend.

2 months later

LuckyArrow: Hey! you free this weekend? sorry I couldn't play last weekend, I had a mission...I missed you though! 💜

yourusername: Hey!! Don't stress it, you get to actually kick some bad guys butts! it's pretty cool! I am free this weekend, I took work off, I need a break anyways. I missed you too, did your mission go well?

LuckyArrow: Meh, it was a pain (literally) but one less menace on the streets to deal with now! 💪🏼, I actually wanted to ask if you'd like to come over...I can order pizza and we can play video games or something, whatever you like! 😅

yourusername: Of course! it'll be so fun! Are you okay though? you seem a little off? x

LuckyArrow: I'm Fine ☺️ wanna come over Friday?

yourusername: Lock it in! Friday, date night haha!

LuckyArrow: Haha...😅

yourusername: Are you sure you're okay?

LuckyArrow: I'm not good this...but, I'm not asking you to just come over as a friend..😅

yourusername: Kate, are you asking me out on a date?

LuckyArrow: I am...we don't have to do something so causal, in fact I'd like to take you out on a real date but I don't want to scare you off or make things awkward between us..

yourusername: Oh thank god! Honeslty, I'm so glad you asked because I've really wanted to ask you out but I also didn't want to ruin anything

LuckyArrow: Well now that makes me feel a lot better! How about I pick you up at 6pm on Friday?

yourusername: it's a date! x

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @kiwiana145  | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok |  @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145  | @valiantmugcowboyscissors | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @musicinourlips | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | @blue-serendipityy | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | 

[fluffypotatey]

Leverage 2x01

Yo ✌️ been some time since I’ve watched this show, but I am here!!!! New season new heists idk what I am getting into

Episode calls itself “the Beantown Bailout Job” 👀 so someone will be going to jail??? We’ll see I guess

the hell is Nate doing at an office??? no heist???? 🥺🥺🥺

no wait y’all they got back together end of s1 right????

the cut off at the finale was a fake out right???? my criminal found family are still in touch with each other right????

NATE IS NOT GETTING AN OFFICE JOB NO

lmao he did a batman (and yes!!! you would have hated it there Natty-boy)

ooooh ok and here we have our new poor souls for the episode 

????

Oh he’s the banker????

What are you doing dude listen to your daughter 

NATE NO

OH SHIT

ok if they hit Nate that will be a little funny

what a way to meet a new client lmao

DAM

OH SHIT

oh no the dad is gonna die

shit

Stressed

Leverage stop stressing me out challenge 

Oh hey! Dad isn’t dead

WE HAVE AN INTRO?????

Oh it’s so dated but I love it

Ok ok I think I see where this is going

Boss is so shifty. How dare you be so judgmental about alcoholics to Nate >:( he has just placed you on his shit list

awwww poor babygirl 🤧 

SOPHIEEEEEEE

SHE IS IN SOUND OF MUSIC

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

OHHHHHHH MY GOF

REUNIÓN

THEY 

THEY

REUNION

TO SEE SOPHIE

y’all I’m crying 🤧 so bad 

how dare they give Sophie bad reviews >:((((( 

Eliot 😂😂😂😂

“That’s very….Catholic” HELP 💀

Parker I love you

Hardinson I love you

ELIOT NO

“Not me!” Says the most criminal of them all

“I am not a thief” says the biggest thief of them all

OH SHIT

Sophie what accent was that???

PARKER

WHY ARE YOU A NUN

Hardinson already hacking shit my beloved

HARDINSON MY HACKER MY BELOVED

Eliot looks so excited saying he nabbed a briefcase

THEY ALREADY HAVE A PLAN I LOVE THEM

“What, you think she dresses like a nun for no reason?” “….she’s Parker.” no yeah that’s valid

Y’all we cannot just be 15 minutes in help me

This is such a nice apartment for one guy

Poor Eliot, always the guy (child) caught in the middle of the Nat/Sophie disaster affair

HARDINSON

OH MY GOD

fucking dying Parker the nun and Hardinson the priest help me

“I did look for you” NOBODY TOUCH ME

Parker are you flirting 👀👀👀

They just made his apartment their new office lmao

Love how Hardinson knows how to play Nate

“Oops,” says Hardinson because he, in fact, did see Eliot before he left and sent him to go look for more shit which just so happens to be in mob territory :)

YES ELIOT

LETS GO!!!! FUCK EM UP

Parker I love you

Nate :) it’s ok :) don’t hold yourself back :) help them out :) just this once yeah?

He can’t even help himself it’s so funny. He has to speak. He must share his knowledge 

I love how they all are like “yeah of course, Nate. Just one last job. Of course.”

YES HARDINSON AND PARKER FBI DUO BACK AGAIN (they aren’t playing fbi rn but you know what I mean)

Eliot & Hardinson my beloved

“Jimmy Ford’s kid” oh? They know his dad?

Love you Sophie <333333

Ohhhhhh I get it

Wait so is the dad going to die?????

Nate’s fatherly behavior coming out my beloved

NATE’S FATHERLY BEHAVIOR ACTIVATING HIS MOTIVATION FOR THIS SEASON

ok so I just know they did some extra shit we didn’t see which will tie this heist up nicely but AGH I WANNA KNOW

“There’s a problem” oh no! how will this interfere with the heist! i sure hope they have many contingencies 

Oh shit wait ok this is a big problem

“Make this up as we go” oh fuck 

Wait this guy sounds sO familiar

ELIOT!!!! ELIOT DAMGER

man, i sure hope Nate recorded all of that 👀

Eliot will not die 

WHO

NO 

WAIT HE IS FINE THO RIGHT???

Oh ok he’s fine it’s just Sophie

Sophie what are you planning 

Aw poor O’Hare

Love how Hardinson changes his voice for intimidation 

You are going shoot the dad in a hospital. Where the gunshot will be heard. As if no one will catch you. Yeah, sure go for it banker man

HAHA

LMAO THEY DID ROB IT

Awwwwww happy ending 🥰

“Still your last job?” Lmao 

Sophie you fucking liar you do not have a boyfriend

No 🥺 (y’all she doesn’t right?)

NO NATE >:( stop being dumb (ok fine just sniff it like a weird person i guess)

Well at least he paid 🙄

YES!!! APARTMENT OFFICE

THE GANG IS BACK

General thoughts: 

THE GANG IS BACK :D 

My only hope is that they don’t separate ever again in the future. Please. They are so lonely without each other. The fact that a Hardinson looked for Parker 🥺 and how he has probably looked for the rest of them. Just to keep tabs. Also how Hardinson knows a lot about Pakistan through White House emails and Eliot was in Pakistan!!!!! My ot3 heart 🤧(Yeah I am totally believing Hardinson checked the White House emails to keep tabs on Eliot. what about it?)

And how Sophie invited all of them to her show as a way of reuniting them, and her and Parker may have stayed in touch since they seem to have planned a surprise like 🥺 idk just the fact that Sophie and Parker are close gives me the warm and fuzzies

Omfg and the fact that their new office is Nate’s apartment and how everyone just falls into their roles so nicely. Like they never left it. As if it they’re all meant to be together 🫠

Love this show

[creatively-storm]

!!WARNING: SPOILERS FOR MHA SEASON 7 EPISODE 2, READ AHEAD AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

The season 7 opening it such fire animation. I just- agh. And don't even get me started on the lighting- Every time I think 'The opening animation can't get any better than this' I go watch the next season and am proven WILDLY WRONG. AND I'M NOT MAD ABOUT IT.

I just want to draw to attention how Star decided to save her squad. Using New Order to make sure they wouldn't succumb to decay, when she could've saved herself. Small detail, but I feel like that truly spoke volumes about her character. Also, "I can't stop falling apart" was so terrified (fair). And it really makes you think about how awful it would be. To slowly feel yourself falling apart and dying.

Star is has became a favorite character of mine. And she's dying. Of course she is, because why wouldn't she.

This man bursts through your wall and says "Cmere" What'chu doin'? Cuz I'm running. I'm joking because I'm 100% not on the verge of tears rn because of Star.

I love this little thrush in the ending credits. It's so cute. And I know I already talked about animation a bit, but the end op is so good too. And I'm not even mentioning the fight scenes. But I love the choice of having the older versions of the kids walk past/see/meet their younger selves.

I also just wanna say I don't like how there's only one of them in this scene. And it's Katsuki, because Izuku has scars on his hands. Where's Izuku? That's making me nervous every time I see it, because some shows DO kill off their protagonists, especially in the end, AND NOW I'M WORRIED. He does show up in another scene in the ending, so maybe it's fine, but still. Have a good day :>

[marshymoss]

BSD 107 SPOILERS

//SPOILERS!! AHHHHH!!!! I'm putting my thoughts here because I have a moot on Twitter that I don't want to spoil things for....

OK. SO. You know how Dazai is Not having a good time rn.... like bro is seeing the pearly gates. And Chuuya (who is not in control of his own body) is on his way to kill him via Fyodor's orders.

NOW, many people, including myself... ARE SO EXCITED FOR THIS SKK REUNION!!! like... so many monumental things abouta possibly happen. SUCH AS (list off the top of my head): 1. Chuuya bite Dazai vampire style and that nullifies the curse. Aha. i can imagine the edits now. (and to see that animated at some point.. ough) 2. Skk beats up Fyodor double black style ;) 3. Skk bantering that we have missed so so so much 4. Chuuya potentially faking being vampire, lifting his hat up, and looking at Dazai... "You missed me?" OR "You look like shit. Almost makes me forgive you for that stunt you pulled with the water." 5. Dazai being carried princess style by Chuuya ahhahahtg73849ewk 6. Now, what me personally wanna see.... Chuuya BOOKING it down the halls trying to get to Dazai in time. I don't think this will happen because the shock value of seeing Chuuya actually faking being vampire wouldn't be as good. BUT OH BOY AM I IMAGINING IT. 7. oh and Chuuya having his own flashbacks ab their relationship too!!

IM SO EXCITED FOR JULY YALL. EEK.

Now, I don't think Dazai is going to die. But. It a possibility that we cannot ignore.... and I've got some angst that it can cause. Like. Agh. This is the reason I'm making this post; I want to shock others with fear. Fear that I don't want to suffer through alone. NOW, MY ANGSTY LIST FOR HOW THIS SKK INTERACTION MIGHT PLAY OUT:

Fyodor calls back vampire Chuuya (Sigma situation) and he doesn't make it to Dazai in time and Dazai dies Alone. (I don't think this is going to happen at like. All. But it could! Maybe!)

Turns out Chuuya is faking being vampire, but he gets to Dazai and it's too late to do anything (poison kicks in, bro bleeds out, etc.) He dies in his arms! ^^

Chuuya is forced to activate corruption, Dazai can't save him because BROKEN LEGS and both Chuuya and Dazai die (i will stop reading bsd.

Chuuya kills Dazai as a vampire, the curse isn't nullified (FYODOR is the one who sent Chuuya there afterall) and this is when we get Really Angsty: (1) It's obvious that Chuuya and Dazai care for each other on some level, even if you don't ship them. Chuuya would be killing somebody that he cares about, and he would probably blame himself for it. Dazai is somebody that he has known for SEVEN YEARS!! That shit would HURT!! The sheep, flags, all of his subordinates that have died on the field, now Dazai. (2) NOW as for DAZAI!! If I remember correctly, Dazai says something along the lines of "Everything I want I lose" or something like that, right?? Now. Imagine this. Dazai, someone who craves death and constantly tries to commit suicide, dies. OK so what?? No. I think that Dazai very much wants to try and stay alive, it's hinted at multiple times (15 novel, his character song, a much happier life with the ADA in contrast to the mafia, etc.). Let's circle back to what I said earlier, "Everything I want I lose." Dazai goes full circle from wanting to die -> wanting to live -> dying. It hurts and it would prove what Dazai thinks/thought is right!! Everything he wants, he can't have! (Also, cherry on top. He hates pain!! He would be dying a very, very painful death. He even says that he is in a lot of pain in the chapter) OK, ONE AGAIN I DONT THINK CHUUYA OR DAZAI IS DYING!!! im sorry. lets.. focus on the positives!!! Sskk reunion yayyy! (it's also really painful to think about them)

[beantothemax]

There were five people down in the sewers of Grandport.

1 woman with the mark of a crow on her thigh, clutching a bloodstained notebook.

And 4 others, gore everywhere around 2 of them. The other 2 clutched weapons, anger etched on their faces.

Tressa was knelt down on the slick stones, hand pressed over her stomach as blood stained her dress. Ophilia murmured healing spells, but none of them seemed to stop the bloodflow.

Primrose shook with tears and anger as she clutched her dagger, bearing a furious expression. H’aanit had her axe in one hand, Linde’s collar in the other to restrain the leopard, a hunter’s calmness on her face and the rage of Draefendi in her eyes.

Esmerelda laughed, one of her knives stained with crimson blood. She tossed the book to the ground in mockery, kicking it away with her foot as Tressa feebly reached out for it with shaky fingers.

“Face it, kid. You’ve lost. All of you have. I wanted to let you walk away carefree, but you forced my hand. This is your fault,” she snarked, and Primrose trembled with untold anger. “Her fault!? Was she the one who plunged the dagger into her stomach?!? Was she the one who resorted to petty thievery over a fucking book!? Was she the one who mocked someone as they lay festering and dying!? ANSWER ME!” She screamed, cutting Esmerelda’s hand. The crow screamed, dropping her knives. Primrose held her own to her throat. “You will not escape judgement. May the Sacred Flame forgive your sins... For I certainly won’t.”

She sank the dagger into Esmerelda’s neck, and dropped the woman to the ground, instead rushing over to Tressa.

Ophilia had gone deathly still, face pale from effort and-

Gods, no. Please, anything but this. Please...

H’aanit trembled where she stood, looming over the others. Linde rubbed her face against Tressa’s cheek, worry visible in the cat’s face.

Ophilia bowed her head, and Primrose screamed, falling forward. She clutched Tressa’s dress in futility, sobs wracking her body. Tressa Colzione had promised she wouldn’t go down without a fight, and Tressa Colzione had put up one hell of a final struggle.

If only she hadn’t been so close to her dream.

MAVVVVVVV MAV WHY FO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!! “IF ONLY SHE HADNT BEEN SO CLOSE TO HER DREAM” STOP!!!!!!!!! IM GONNA CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGH!!!!!!!

I swear if you make a fic for every traveler dying at their final boss… and all of them coming so close to their dream but failing at the last minute,,,,,,,,, I can’t handle this rn

[hollypies]

Oh!!! Oh!!! You're trying to beat Rain World??

We've gotten into rain world ourself recently so !! if you have any questions just ask!!! We'd offer to co-op with you sometime to help you out but we don't have the dlc, so.....

Sjbshsjs I don't jave the dlc either AGH ! looks fun tho !

I have no idea what's happening at all im just. Following the golden thing and it keeps leadng me in circles :( wah

Also co op sounds so so so fun wish I could do it hhg . Playing as monk rn because it's a bit easier. I'm hoping to beat it before silksong comes out but I am pretty sure that's not gonna happen!

If you all have any survival tips PLEASE share I am dying over and over ! Mostly by leeches. And drowning cuz I can't. Figure out how to swim :(

Also what's you alls opinions on scavengers? I think they're neat unless they are throwing spears at me. I threw a bomb at one once by accident

[323398149]

It's been 10 years

I'm low-key not even a swiftie anymore (kinda, sorta)

I'm living my dream career (technically) (sorta)

And it's not once an hour, it's not once a day, it's not once a week, a month, or a quarter. It's more like once a year that I miss him. It's not even miss, it's more like think about and contemplate the past and relate it to my present.

I don't even know him. I just know the concept, the memory.

And I know that even the memory was terrible and gross and toxic.

But let me explain what happened recently that triggered these annoying, lame, over-done thoughts:

I got new skincare. I've been eating and sleeping well. I've been praying/meditating. I've been maintaining a positive outlook and been happy and hopeful recently. I finally started wearing nice makeup and I finally have the most fire wardrobe rn that I coulda only dreamed of in the past.

And so I've been getting a bunch of compliments recently of ppl telling me I'm glowing. Specifically three ppl from different parts of my life all used the same word.

But the thing is that none of those compliments feel like they hold any weight.

I already pulled the hottest guy in our grade. He was in love with me. ME! AND keep in mind that that was the ugly, loser, insecure, shitty, judgemental, mean (honestly SO mean), stupid, fifteen year old version of me. Not this sorta stable, medicated, whole, adult version.

Remember that gorgeous older white girl that asked him out? Or all those gorgeous tall academic girls crowding around me in grade 12 asking me questions about him because they couldn't understand how this RUSH loser could have been worth his time? and they wanted to know everything they could find out about him from me before they made their moves. Or when tiffany didn't talk to me for a year and then later apologized because she felt bad for letting a man pit her against me. And Jessica obviously (that one was just sad). ALSO LETS REMEMBER all of this was grade 11+12 so I didn't even have any communications with him at this point but I was still being interrogated about him.

Anyways my point is lmaooooo I think when my heart broke at 16 idk but maybe a part of it really did die. It's hard to describe it but I feel like a part of me is dead inside. Ever since then, anytime I've gotten attention I haven't felt special or grateful. I almost resent it. I feel annoyed that they're telling me something I already heard in a way more special way. Like they're parroting and copying it but they'll never be able to meet the magic or rush I used to feel when he said it.

There isn't a magic to it anymore. Now love feels very clinical. I guess I stopped believing in love? I guess at too young an age I became bitter and now just chalk it up to hormones and chemical imbalances.

And recently I heard someone talking about falling in love and I literally thought "agh that sounds terrible why would anybody want to FALL in love??! sounds like it would hurt smh". I just want to gently like drift into a soft stable comfortable kindness with someone. That's all.

Anyways idk if it's the new taylor swift album coming out (which pls be proud of me I haven't heard all the way through yet and I'm hoping to never hear it and stay halal) but yeah idk if I'll ever love anybody like I did that one time at fifteen which didn't even lead to anything and had zero payoff so it feels so wasteful and annoying that it happened.

But then I think about how like what if I end up dying alone and that ends up being the only thing I ever had worth remembering so maybe it's not so bad and maybe even tho it didn't pay off in a bigger way, maybe it was worth something.

Anyways but loooooooool like LMAO don't get me wrong like I know I know let's definitely not forget that it was literally NOTHING. Absolutely nothing happened but two teenagers feeling seen by eachother.

Tbh one of us should cash out on it and write a teen novel.

Wait after typing that out I just had a terrible realization. Lmaooooo jeez Louise this is why I'm supposed to journal so I can make sense of my toxic period thoughts.

With j I felt like "well duh you should obviously be saying that to me because you don't even compare to him. You saying that does not validate me in any way. I'm out of your league." BUT GUYS IT'S NOT MAGIC HELPPPP

I think I'm just finally grown up and confident and whole??? I don't feel "magic" from external validation. I know I'm a baddie helpppppppppp which I didn't know back then. Which is why I'd probs get hella endorphin release when he'd write those damn poems because I wanted someone ELSE to tell me good things about me. But now I know them in my own brain. Woah. Big thoughts. So maybe we're grateful to him for giving me that back when I really needed the attention. And now I'm ok with dying alone loooooooool and I don't need anybody to make me feel good. How interesting.

Well that was a weirdly wholesome exercise/rant. Glad we did this lmao @ my multiple personalities. Catch y'all on the flip side.

[itgirlgyurecs]

started giggling as soon as i read "moonlight dripping onto his skin while he bent lower to stand eye level to you" as someone who firmly believes that soobin resembles the moon on wavering water surface, and a heart that skips way too many beats at the mention of height difference.

STOP SEXY AND SECURED UP TATTOES SOOBIN BOYFIE might just end up dying idc

and big tatted up soobin being so adorable with his niece and letter her and you color his tattoos ans omg when he was kissing your matching star and whining when they stopped at your collar bones,, agh THAT IS SO FUCKING making me hazed up rn what do i do my mu fucking good you're singlehandedly my bane GET THIS SOOBIN OUT OF MY HEAD,, HIM ANS HIS BIG ASS HEAD NUZZLING IN MY NECK BITCH.

and omg okay kai i think the more i love soobin, and how cool and desirable he looks while smoking i think i am in love the way you write him so so so much more. the way you wrote about him smoking, and reading trying it for ths first time—that entire scenario, in your words, left goosebumps on my skin.

i can't get enough of YOUR writing and the way you make me imagine tatted soobin in spun in your vivid scenarios, why is HE SO FINE?!?

IMAGINING . . . SOOBIN & HIS TATTOOS <3

☆ 💽” —— ˘˘˘˘

p — CHOI SOOBIN × FEM!READER | g — SUGGESTIVE, fluff, established relationship!au, slight domestic!au somewhere in there | w — kissing (like a lot), sexual tension, smoking (reader & soobin), mention of cigarettes, mentions of food, j a lot of that stuff

A/N — um. i'm in distress. thank you.

🖇️ READ PART ONE HERE !!

finding soobin in the corners of the party— moonlight dripping onto his skin while he bent lower to stand eye level to you, tilting his head and making his hair bounce towards the side. a hand on yours while you slowly traced the design on his neck with the corner of your nail, and he'd wince at you, pressing his lips together everytime you dug a bit too deep. “you're gonna kill me, pretty.” and you'd giggle, fingering the necklace he wore, his forehead against yours and him groaning if you'd tug on it too hard.

and soobin's hand on your waist whenever you were near him— he wasn't really the type to make a scene in person, and you knew he wasn't afraid of anything. soobin trusted you enough to know you'll do the right thing, and if you ever needed him to be there for you, that's what he'll do. so when you'd glance towards him if you had someone particularly difficult hitting on you— he'd walk up to you, his hand softly finding your waist, a finger curling around the gold chain you were wearing around your stomach, and sweetly ask, “do we have a problem?”

and surprisingly, you didn't think you'd be admitting this, but soobin was good with kids. you remember when he called you once, asking you if you'd like to tag along on a day out with his niece. and when you arrived at his place— he sat there on the floor, his legs in a W position, the shape of his muscles defined as he blew bubbles around, smiling softly as his niece scrambled to pop each one. it was quite the sight to see, someone intimidating like him waving a wand around and popping each bubble. and seeing you, she ran to hide behind soobin, who cooed and softly encouraged her to say hello.

“she warmed up to you pretty quick,” soobin hummed as he watched from the kitchen, watching his niece show you her favorite sofia the first plushie, “she doesn't let anyone touch that doll.”

and saying that, she grew shy, calling her uncle a “big meanie !!!!” and you joined her, pointing at soobin and blowing raspberries together, drowning his voice accusing you of letting her say ‘bad words’.

and after an unhealthy lunch of dinosaur nuggets and smiley face fries, soobin took his car out the garage, slowly watching you point to cats and birds in the late afternoon with his niece, her watching in awe with your vast vocabulary of animals beyond ‘cat and dog.’ and at the park, she sat with tons of paper and markers scrambled out in front of her, encouraging you to color with her. but you weren't coloring on paper, or in her barbie coloring book, but on soobin's arm.

and soobin was particular about his tattoos being colored, making faces if a marker of his choice wasn't picked up. and you'd whisper in her ear to “shut the FUCK up,” when his niece's bottom lip would start quivering, cooing at her that soobin would love the color she picked. and he'd take a nap as he'd feel the cool markers spread across his skin, sometimes smiling at the feeling. and when she'd finish, he'd beam at her, pinching her cheek and calling her his little artist— and you'd watch him in awe as he'd listen to his niece trying to convince him why he should have a heart tattoo with her and your name in it, and how she would color it pink.

and after she had gone to sleep that evening, a strict bedtime of 7PM soobin would rather die than not follow, he plopped next to you on the couch, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. and he told you how pretty you were today when you asked if she was asleep, so sweet around his family. and you felt soobin's fingers tap your thigh as he bent closer and placed a soft kiss to your jaw, nibbling at the streaks of marker on your shoulders— your “matching stars” as his niece called it, sighing as he felt your fingers tug at his hair. and he'd glance up at you occasionally, tilting his head with a smile as he fake whined, “they stop here,” he rubbed right below your collarbones, “thats not fair,” and you'd tell him to shut up, placing a finger over his wet lips, just in case his niece walked out.

and soobin loved it when you'd stare not so discreetly at his legs when he'd sit down, or the way you'd watch when he'd steer his car with one arm, picking at the material of your top. and he'd ask you what's wrong, knowing it was him that had you look so flustered, feeling the heat rise in the room. and he'd giggle at you, his chain coming over to hit your chest as he buried his face in your neck, telling you in between gasps that that he can't concentrate if you're staring at him like that.

and soobin was never someone to pressure you to try new things— but if you wanted to, he'd arrange for it. like sitting on his lap in his car, fingers softly playing with the waistband of his sweatshorts while he helped you try a cigarette for the first time. and although it wasn't particularly up your alley, he laughed at your reaction, hands grazing your thighs while you reached over to open the window, saying you'd never try that again.

and you watched him take it into his own mouth, blowing the smoke softly on your chest and lightly up your neck, the feeling of it nip at your bare skin. and he'd see your eyes trail from his lips down to his collarbones in his tank top, oh, so pretty with the smoke curling around his face. and you'd drag your fingers up from his waist to his shoulders, asking him sweetly if you could kiss the designs on his collarbones. and he started coughing on his next puff, eyes going wide and cheeks growing pink, feeling butterflies, nibbling at his stomach walls. and he'd nod, swallowing lightly as he saw your back arch in the windshield while you bent over to place your lips against his skin, his thigh involuntarily flexing underneath you, a shaking finger moving to press the button to shut the window.

and the cute whine he'd let out when you'd obviously avoid his lips while kissing his face, shifting underneath you and tightening his grip on your waist. and you'd ask all innocent, “what?” and he'd sigh, leaning his head back, eyes not being able to focus on you, licking his lips. and he'd mutter your name, whispering a small, “please.”

and you'd watch silently as he took a puff, sizzling in the silence, and bending closer and placing his craving lips on you— soft smoke curling on your skin and around your vision as his teeth lightly peppered you, asking you why you would tease him like that? and he'd try again, another sizzle in the silent car before the sound of his lips on your skin continued, lightly whimpering at your nails trailing up and down his back.

and you'd inhale the scent that was now kissed onto your skin as you'd watch soobin place his head back, teased red lips in a smirk and slick on his chin as he'd watch you, smoke in your hair and you'd smile at him.

and he'd whisper breathless as you giggled at his gaze, asking him to teach you how he did that, reaching over towards another cigarette and placing it between your teeth as he clicked the lighter in front of your lips.

“so pretty, aren't you?”

txt — masterlist

main taglist (hmu to get added!) — @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny  @kdyism  @neotism  @bluejaem  @radiorenjun  @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou @mrkcore @imdamnconfused  @sicluvz @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @1921choi @bangchansbae

I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

[mcmoth]

GOD I HATE MY BRAIN I WANNA WATCH THE STREAm,,,,, SO BAD...... tubbo lore my absolute beloved oh my god just hearing bits and pieces from my dash got be absolutely buzzed ohhghhhhhh I am shook