#dying inside about it tho
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
last line challenge! thank you @ambrozians for tagging me 🤭
rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).
He bathed in the river and returned to his hotel room in the next town to grab his bag. He had to get out of the country, not for fear of being caught, but for fear of losing his mind completely.
tagging: anyone who wants to do this because I can't remember any @'s for this one off the top of my head!
#fic#lily of the valley fic#this is like chapter 28#i hate this chapter so much#but i also really like what it's going to do for the plot#dying inside about it tho#it's posted now so nothing can be done#all i can say is rip
1 note
·
View note
Text
We all know and love the AUs where either SY!SQQ or SJ!SQQ get dosed with truth serum and hilariously clear up a bunch of stuff, but consider:
Yue Qingyuan accidentally gets truth serum-ed, said truth serum removes all brain to mouth filters and makes him voice his thoughts a loud.
Not only would this probably lead to him reconciling with SJ and just speaking about the damn cave incident, but also be unbearably honest to everyone else.
I cannot imagine ANY of the peak lords would be able to look at him the same ever again, we all know this man is deeply unhinged and SJ-co-dependent deep to his soul.
Mu Qingfang would probably have to deal with the worst of it as he frantically tries to find some cure so that they don't have to collectively hide their sect leader and stop him from saying real unhinged stuff
#svsss#yue qingyuan#mxtx svsss#the peak lords realizing their sect leader is a lot less adjusted and domesticated on the inside#and at the same time they really want him to stop gushing about xiao jiu#sj is probably dying of a qi deviation caused by too many fucking emotions#mu qingfang has never been so stressed at his job his entire life#and then they have to deal with disgusting reconciled qijiu#they'll live tho there's worse things than their sect leader being happy and sqq finally somewhat chilling tf out#probably#let me know what you think even if just in tags i read that stuff always
286 notes
·
View notes
Note
sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Here's a quick question for the Bean AU, is Solar Flare alive in this? If he is, is he still in Eclipses head or was he put in a robotic gerbil, a furby or a toy or something.
Stupid question, but still kinda curious.
AAAAAA I FORGOT ABOUT HIMMM
#I HAVE NO EXCUSE CAUSE I HAVE HIM IN THE SPACE AU AND POKEMON AND ANOTHER ONEEEE#GDIIIIII#HES NOT GONNA BE A PET THO#hes a person.... or well was starting to be one#im gonna need to think about this one BUT DYING ON THE INSIDE CAUSE ITD BREAK SOME BEAN CANON HOLD ON#we'll be back after these messages-#bean eclipse au
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
#like come on man did you not talk to her???#didn’t have any inside jokes??#odette baby I could treat you better than him#Siegfried and albrecht in my pile of shit tier ballet men#tho to be fair Siegfried leaves albrecht in the dust#why are so many ballets about women dying because of their stupid boyfriends#princess tutu#lea posts
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
N tropy doing a perspective pose
#crash bandicoot#n tropy#fanart#i'm dying 😭#Imagine his toes😭🙏🏾#Bro fine tho#Why he looks like he about to say “are you serious right now bro”#Hiss#His clock is in the inside is the Smurf cat#Not a c_ck😭
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers 💜💜
�� ꈍᴥꈍʔฅ💛💛💛💛
1. I actually really like loose leaf tea. I'm very picky about tea but once I switched to quality loose leaf it was a huge door being opened for me. I actually have a whole table with a stone tea tray on it to brew in the Chinese Gong-fu style, tho I don't sit down for a full session very often since I have limited time in my evenings due to my work hours and I'm just tired on weekends. I drink some green tea I have at work, but I don't have a good container over there to brew it so I have an abomination set up involving two Styrofoam cups and the bottom half of a tiny tea strainer. I really need to just get a proper infuser-nesting mug lol.
2. So, when I last renamed this tumblr, I was going for the alliteration and joke because I had in real life made the "my trash is your trash as long as you properly recycle" more than once. I also found the image I use as my profile picture and thought it was funny. My ao3 does not share this name but it is another animal and another raccoon and trash icon. (I've thought about changing it to my current handles/nicknames but at this point I haven't changed literally anything about my Tumblr in so long I'm being stubborn about it.)
This is all to say, neither of these animals are my favorite.
I really really like North American Badgers specifically. I bought a cheap comforter specifically because I found a cheap comforter cover that was a North American Badger. I have two North American Badger statues that I bought specifically for use as tea pets. (I use the big one on my stone table but have used the small for my traveling tea set recently.)
I do hate that initially what got me started on badgers was being repeatedly sorted into Hufflepuff way back when, but I've LONG disavowed that for obvious reasons Besides, that's a European badger.
Anyway, North American Badgers make me exceedingly happy whenever I see stuff of them, especially since they're not exactly the popular types of badgers.
3. Unfortunately, similarly to badgers, I first started my journey to liking yellow due to the previously mentioned fictional house. I didn't start REALLY loving it tho until the recent few years, and I actually own a few articles of clothing in this color now.
4. A more minor one is that I am at some of my most happiest and most content when my dog gets on the bed to cuddle with me when I go to sleep, and I can fall sleep face-in-fur. She doesn't do this very often, far more likely to sleep on the floor as she's an independent breed. If I move too much or try to move her even a little she will leave without hesitation. I have made astounding space compromises at times to achieve this falling asleep scenario.
5. Stupid jokes. I make puns at work and Verbally OUT LOUD AS WELL AS PHYSICALLY imitate the ba-bum-toosh following the jokes. Literally every time for years whenever people ask me "what's up" (usually only in relation to the type of what's up that's about one's day) I go like "ceiling, wires, insulation, ventilation-" etc. I don't go on long, a few seconds/3-4 items usually, but do always follow up with a genuine answer and return the question. These types of stupid jokes bring me endless joy and yes I do think I'm very funny.
#asks#try to make a short easy list challenge failed#im not going to send out my 10 asks immediately tho#given i normally have fairly quiet notifications (being muted not withstanding lmao) but i recently went a little feral with a post#and there is a spike of activity#i hope to have some variety in who i send them to then just the people reblogging that slecific post#no i will not rewrite that whole tag to correct thyag spelling mistake.#i am dying inside tho about it
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Serot's own arsenal of spells and generally how he applies necrotic magic differs from modern day Anactaci. You can clearly see the foundation he laid, but it has been over a thousand years. The order has evolved considerably in that time. There's also the fact that he was reborn at level one and has structured his skills to suit his present needs, but [hand waves]
There are different sects and roles within the Anactaci who call on the Plane of Death in different ways, but certain generalities can be relied upon. Their magic is largely geared toward what would be considered divination. They are the bridge between this life and the next, the messengers of eternity. They commune both with the souls of the dead and with spirits — chiefly spirits / entities on the Plane of Death but spirits of all types, including those like Refhremmit. Indeed, every City of Eternity has one Anactaci dedicated to communing with their patron. It is a sacred office.
Beyond that, their magic is deeply focused on the soul and the threshold between life and death. They are adept at identifying and countering curses or maladies of the soul. They are adept at identifying and addressing possessions or spiritual attachments. The skilled can manipulate the ravages of time on a body or object (a skill shared with the Manthu). The most skilled of all can leave their bodies behind to inhabit ritually prepared objects; these become the teachers of the Anactaci and keepers of the deepest mysteries.
Yes of course, they animate and preserve corpses, either directly or by calling a spirit to inhabit it. This is part of Meketi funerary rites. But, simply making dead things move is only part of their skillset. Indeed, it's the most basic part.
Anactaci are bound by sacred oaths to turn their magic to holy purpose and with a thought for balance always. However, a truly irate or unscrupulous Anactaci could do serious damage. Particularly if they are skilled. Insidious curses and nigh-undetectable possessions (i.e. slowly driving a person to madness with ill luck or nightmares; far worse curses are possible). Yanking a person's soul directly from their body, either holding it captive or causing it to become lost. Learning secrets from spirits or from souls that can utterly destroy a person. Causing them to rapidly age, turning to sun-bleached bone before their eyes, one limb at a time. Or causing them to wither, then return to their correct age, then wither, then return to their correct age — over and over until they don't know whether they're alive or dead. If capable of severing their soul from their body, they can possess others directly, influencing or totally overriding their will. They might not touch a person at all; they might sap all life from their home instead.
Fortunately, such corrupt Anactaci are rare — and swiftly dealt with.
#META / HC: WORLDBUILDING.#RE: ANACTACI#this isn't a polished meta#but I'm reading about Chosen so obvs magical abilities are on my mind#Serot's rain of blood and animate blood he learned as a ghul lord have the fucking pizzazz#but modern Anactaci are frightening in ways you don't think to fear til it's too late#or rather they have the potential to be if they forsake their oaths#which has consequences. Anactaci and Manthu both are literally bound by their oaths. those tattoos aren't merely aesthetic#but that's a discussion for another time#Serot getting angry enough to yank someone's soul directly out of their body tho . . .#he would have to be beyond incensed for that#and would feel absolutely disgusted with himself afterward. like might vomit type of disgusted#still. if Serot wasn't a moral man. he could be horrifying#he could make your blood boil you alive from the inside#he could make your own body turn against you while you're trapped inside helpless#he could keep your soul in a jar while he puppets your body#and allows you to learn whether the incorporeal can feel torment#he could call the Plane of Death into your very soul and watch it consume all life within you#and leave your body to infect anyone else nearby with the same fate#he could banish part of you to the Plane of Death so that the part of you on the Material Plane experiences that torment without reprieve#and must live from then on missing something with a searing ache that was swallowed by death itself#or he could banish you there just briefly and pull you back before you exploded. dangling you just above death like a pot of boiling oil#he could call down plagues. he could raise droves of undead their ranks replenished by their victims#he could drain life from the very earth itself#he WON'T but he COULD#well also it's gonna take time to get back to the power level he was at before dying in his first life#and frankly he doesn't want to be back at the level if he doesn't have to be#but y'know. first life. if he'd been a cruel man.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A SHOP FOR KILLERS SPOILERS
so im on the last two episodes and 🤧🤧 freakin lee Dong Wook looked so good in that uniform i was losin my mind, but I CANT WAIT TO FINISH IT. it’s been such a roller coaster and i still wanna believe he’s not dead but I can’t anymore 😭😭 cause i bet he offed himself so Bale can’t get him *DONT TELL ME IM JUST VENTING!!!*BALE IS FUCKIN CRAY. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT I CANT EVEN CALM DOWN. terrified. im actually terrified of him and I hope he gets murdered so hard, how is he even not dead already after that whole flashback scene I am pisssed!!!!! and I’m still not over my ex baby boy, we call him baby bitch now 😭😭🤣💀 hopefully he dead and died a slow painful one while hanging upside down since he wants to be a psycho and lock people in rooms to see if they’re really mute or not wtf. and the way he thinks he killed jeong jin man … but really is just a weak coward 🫢 I hate him so much. Pasin or ig Ji an’s master 🤣 love him, he is a vibe and I understand he scammed people but I forgive him 🫶🏼 he bettr not end up evil i s2g 😤 I love this show
#ITS SO GOOD#HOEPFULLY ME AND MY FRIEND HANG SOON AGAIN#WAS FUN#AND SO WE CAN FINSISH IT 🤣🤣#IM DYING#also Bale is kinda sexy bc there’s something wrong with me#it’s fine#I don’t enjoy him tho 🤣 he needs to die#he’s just more terrifying than sexy lmao man has no emotion’s literally#just murder people#and be visibly so glad about it 💀#everytime they showed his creepy ass face I was like ‘pls he’s so scary i can’t’ 🤣🤣#but on the inside I was also like ‘so scary pls shove your dick down my throat amen’ 🤣🤣🤣🤧🤧 this is one that’s just for tumblr#my friend will never know 😭😭 bc he will unbestie me for sure 🤣🤣
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
giggling and kicking my feet picturing Desolation!Martin preforming The Mechanisms' 'Hellfire' to a bunch of people as the building slowly burns down around him
#actually this is post is about a tma dnd au I've been thinking a lot about but this would also be fun in canon circumstances#pls ask about that au I'm dying to talk about it#like martin is a bard without an instrument canonically i love him#in general however#kinda like to picture his performance is partially a distraction to keep the people inside the building until it's too late too#bad people tho don't worry!!!! they had it coming!!!!!!#tma#the magnus archives#martin blackwood#the desolation#back in my desolation!martin bullshit again
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ramattra: Do you know why I called you in here? Maelstrom: Because I accidentally pinched one of your wires during repairs yesterday. :( Ramattra: (pouring expensive omnic oil, surrounded by lit candles) ...accidentally?
#the concept of antirust oil coatings being an omnic luxury is never not going to be funny 2 me lolllll#ram and maelstrom's interactions are a compilation of wild misunderstandings.#ramattra x oc#ow oc#ow2 oc#overwatch oc#overwatch 2 oc#text#meme#tw suggestive#suggestive#the original meme is really funny but explicit. this post is just a shitpost on the backburner for now#i need to draw this meme out one day tho lmao#low light. clothes/fabrics neatly folded in the corner. fancy candles. burning incense. pouring expensive oil into hand cloth.#Maelstom: “so................... ur doing laundry? let me get that 4 u it's the least i can do--”#all while ramattra is just. standing there. dying inside. LOL#maelstrom doesn't know anything about omnic culture.#(spraying oil coatings is more efficient. hand towels are effective but wasteful--but it's intimate like washing someone's back.)#(ram does his laundry outside and folds it usually so that was the misunderstanding.)#(i headcanon omnics use smoke baths so the incense & fancy candles are misunderstood by maelstrom as a bath instead of a mood setter)#ramattra misunderstanding Maelstrom's actions as omnic flirting when M's just acting as a human does is rlly funny to me#M: (goes in for a handshake)#Ramattra: /////// how scandalous....#omnic#omnics#robot#robots#maelstrom oc#maelstrom
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
IM WARM BUT IM COLD
AND I WANT TO SLEEP BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS DUMB ASS FUCKING PAPER ABOUT DUMB ASS GAY MEN MAKING OUT AND PAINTING SHIT AND BEING ALL HEDONISTIC
BUT I DONT REALLY KNOW WHATS GOING ON AND ALSO THE PAPER IS ABOUT THOSE TWO GAY MEN BEING THAT OTHER GAY MANS ANGEL AND DEVIL ON THEIR SHOLDER
BUT OH GUESS WHAT PLOT TWIST
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FUCKING BOOK REMINDS ME OF MY ONE FUCKING EX AND IT WAS NOT A FUN TIME FOR ME BUT IM STILL COMING TO TERMS WITH THAT
AND ITS FUCKING TWO FOURTY AND I JUST WANT TO GO TO FUCKING SLEEP
#yea this is about#the portrait of dorian gray#what are you gonna do about it#fight me#im fucking tired#im dying#let me sleep#i should have done this yesterday#im extreally burned out#but all the normal fixes arnt working#im going crazy#certified not good time#my insides feel like they're screeming#everything is a lot#it all takes so much effort#i wanna scream#lol#im fine tho#haha#frfr#im good#:)
0 notes
Text
Month 8, day 30
Made a block of ocean! Minecraft eat your heart out lol
Got five seconds of animation to render and with my GPUs enabled it's taking anywhere from a minute 15 seconds to a minute 50 seconds to render so that's uuuuuh too many. Too many minutes to render. At least two hours to render and hahaha nope I am not staying up that late, I don't care that it's a long weekend and technically I could lol
But yeah. Water, woo!
#the great artscapade of 2024#art#my art#blender#blender render#blender 3d#cycles render#in other news we have not one not two but THREE orb weaver spiders living around our house :D#we're gonna be so well protected from bugs 🥰#I knew about one because she's been here for a couple years and also I keep walking through her webs in the mornings lol#wish the house spiders on the inside would eat the damn mosquitoes tho#I've swatted three as they feasted on my blood#ma'am that's my blood I need it for not dying leave it inside of my body plz and also thanks
1 note
·
View note
Text
under the cut bc it is relating to The thang rhat happened yesterday. so umm. idk how to tw it. i thought some very scary stuff happened to my body but none of it actually did but i talk abt it a bit in detaul and its a bit gruesome . and i rambled abt it in the tags for a bit so dont read those either if u r squeamish Andor just dont want to hear abt that rn . apologies
in hindsight now im calming down a bit it is like. funny in a sad way that while i was literally Convinced that my rib had punctured my lung and also my heart and blood was filling my entire body. i Kept on asking the paramedics Is this gonna be really expensive . im sorry. um is this ambulance gonna cost a lot . and when my mom got to the room i kept crying and saying sorry in between my literal gasping for breath and gagging on what i was convinced was blood and uncontrollable shaking bc i was rly rly rly terrified it was going to cost her a lot of money . bit funny. where r your priorities girl...
#i rly and truly thought i was dying i was like. it ws funny bc i had just talked abt my weirdness thing. and i was like. Feeling the blood#getting up to stumble to the living room and my vision was going fully dark and i was literally in my brain like Its bc i talked abt it now#theyre getting me . this abtually is rhe end for me. i got a little too honest and now my pumishment is duing of internal bleeding jn front#of my entire family. of course that didnt happen bc i didnt actually Lay down too hard and my ribs stabbed my insides to death. bc that like#isnt a thing bodies can do. also i tried to lightly and casually explain what i thought had happened to me to lamp and it quickly became not#light and casual so then i changed the subject midway theough. whatever#its rly rather funny tho bc it was literally a moment of like Damn the things in my head that tell me i can never tell anybody about my#problems and i have to keep it all to myself and not seek help for anything or horrible awful things will happen to me and everyone i love#avrually were right . so i have to listen to them forever now If i live past this. but funny. great situation for the terrified man#its fine tho. just a girl momenttt and now its fine#i know i dont come off as someone who keeps their issues to themselves LOL but. well. 1 this is online 2 i treat this more as a diary 3 i#only post abt like. Some of the stuff on here. i do actually keep most of it private bc itisnt rly intelligible to anybody but me. you guys#i dont even talk to u guys abt like. the g. or the website. and those r like base fundamentals of what goes on in my head#but its ok. and im not going to tell anybody abt those ever even mentioning them feels a bit wrong. but theyre the like... Easiest to talk#about one supposes.#a2t#jic
1 note
·
View note
Text
I love markiplier but I kinda wish there was a trigger warning on his newest video (unless there was one and I missed it somehow)
#I don’t have any related traumas but I’m still sensitive to that kind of horror and it made me sick#I didn’t know anything about the game before so it really caught me off guard#I was genuinely thinking about it being a post apocalyptic story about a dad trying to protect his kid but ends up dying leaving you to make#the choice whether you stay inside and starve or go out and learn how to survive#yeah I feel bad after watching that#loved to see dog tho
1 note
·
View note
Text
if i was writing a book where a parent and a child disagreed on matters of personhood for those different from oneself,
and to sort of mirror these disagreements in a way that would not immediately implode their relationship, i gave them a shared media interest that had been given several incarnations over the decades,
and one of them loudly derided every iteration that wasn't the one they grew up with because of their differences from it,
while the other enjoyed all iterations and just wanted to share their joy over this interest without getting talked over and told they were wrong for enjoying anything other than the first's favorite,
and this inability to communicate due to one party's insistence on being right about this interest was paralleled and expanded upon with the way the other slowly closes themself off about matters of personhood for much the same reasons,
i feel like an editor would make me take it out due to it being too heavy-handed.
#rosie rambles#this post is about#tmnt#but it's also about hearing one's parents call she/her trans women 'it'#and about hearing one's parents grow more and more convinced that white people are the new targets of racism#and about hearing the phrase 'hitler had some good ideas' unironically#while you yourself are hiding that you're everything they despise#(a genderqueer person who is not straight and thinks people should be Nice Actually)#and it is also about dying inside when your dad insists that 'the ORIGINAL april oneil' was a red-headed news reporter#and that a black teenage childhood friend april o'neil is completely unrecognizable and should never have been greenlit#…it is also about cackling wildly as you double-check your research and have it confirmed that#the original april was neither 'a ginger' (his words. why tho? we're usamerican) nor a reporter#and ergo HE WAS WRONG
1 note
·
View note