#he’s just more terrifying than sexy lmao man has no emotion’s literally | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

frankiekatt · 3 years ago

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Wowy hii, saw that you're writing for slasher, so here I am!

Can I plz have some hcs about any slashers with s/o, but their s/o is a literal gremlin, like they're not serious at all, always joking and annoying people around, but sometimes might be quite soft and quiet.

Thank you and have a nice day! ❤️

This was fun to write lmao

Warnings: Sexual harassment, NSFW, murder, blood, canabilism

Characters: Thomas Hewitt, Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Billy Lenz, Stu Macher, Michal Myers

Slashers With An S/O That Never Takes Anything Seriously:

Thomas Hewitt:

Thomas is a little overwhelmed by your personality at first.

He’s a quiet and reserved man who’s never had any kind of friends, so goofiness and jokes can make him feel uneasy at first.

But!! He gets used to everything very quickly!!!

Thomas loves everything about you and he finds you to be incredibly charming.

He can get a little anxious when he sees you annoying Hoyt because he doesn’t want his uncle to do anything bad to you in irritation/retaliation.

Your jokes are always a stress reliever for him, since he spends most of his days in a dark basement, surrounded by blood and gore. Your humor just shines a little bit of light on his day, and he loves you for that!

While Luda Mae and Hoyt might not like the fact that you never take anything seriously, Thomas finds it relieving. At the beginning of your relationship, Thomas was terrified of losing you because he thought you would be terrified of all screams, murder, and cannabilism, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that you didn’t pay much mind to it.

Thomas’ family mostly saw you as a clown, but Thomas could only ever look at you as the brightest ray of sunshine that has ever graced his life.

After all, he was the only one that saw your softer side.

Your soft and quiet side mostly shone through during the evening. Something about the sunset and cicada chirping calmed your heart.

You would often take Thomas by the hand and lead him outside to sit on the front porch with you, so the two of you could cuddle and watch the sunset together.

Thomas was always so used to your voice, because you loved to talk about anything and everything, so your temporary quiet nature was new, yet comforting.

During these moments, there didn’t need to be any talking between the two of you. You deep emotional bond allowed you both to communicate through actions.

You would lay your head on Thomas shoulder, stroking his chest, and Thomas would wrap his big arms around your smaller frame, resting his masked cheek against the top of your head.

This was Thomas’ way of saying, “I love you, you’re the best thing in my life,” and your way of saying “I could never live without you.”

Bo Sinclair:

You’re gonna annoy the fuck out of this boy

Sometimes you both wonder how the two of you even got together, but the nights you and Bo spent pleasuring each other, going round after round, reminded you both how. (Your both just sexy okay its that simple)

Bo was a serious guy, so he was a little miffed that he was always the one having to take the lead in everything since you just couldn’t stop making a joke out of everything.

Sometimes you would actually make him really irritated due to your tendency to irk people endlessly, so he would have to step away to cool off and blow off some steam.

Sometimes he would yell at you in anger, which always made him feel like shit after, so he tended to stalk off to his shop to calm down before speaking to you.

You would have to go see him a couple hours later to wrap your arms around him from behind and shyly apologize to him.

He favored these moments the most.

Your voice quieter than usual, focusing on just him, touching him gently.

He would always accept your apologies, of course, and would let you know by kissing your lips softly.

Bo liked to take advantage of your softer side by lifting you up by your waist and setting you on the hood of whatever car he had been working on and kissing down your neck.

As revenge, Bo liked to draw out his teasing as long as possible. Kissing down your neck, chest, stomach, massaging your pussy through your skirt, palming your breast roughly.

It gets to a point where you just have to tell him, “Bo, I need you to fuck me.”

And he would oblige.

He would take you right then and there, on the hood of the car.

The metal beneath you was always shockingly cold, making you shiver against Bo’s chest.

“You cold, Darlin,” Bo would ask teasingly as he pulled your panties off. “Don’t worry, I’ll warm you right up.”

He would spend hours licking your pretty pink pussy if he could. He licks and sucks and kisses your most intimate part until you're shaking and crying above him, begging him to fuck you sensless.

After he’s satisfied with your helplessness, he’ll lean back up and ram himself inside of you. There have been many nights where he has taken you gently and slowly in his garage, holding your hand with every thrust, kissing your sweet lips to quiet your whimpers, but tonight was different. There was a primal need shared between you two. Bo wanted to let his frustrations on through loving you, and you wanted to be taken hard and fast.

When the two of you are done, you lounge around inside the car to catch your breath, holding hands. Everything seems so perfect.

Until-

“Hey, Bo? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?”

“.....”

“I want you inside me! Eh ha ha..”

:////

Lester Sinclair:

!!!!!

You like constantly joking and never taking things seriously? He does too!!

Lester would find you absolutely hilarious. Every joke you cracked would have him doubling over in laughter. Which would make you double over in laughter. Which would make Lester laugh harder, because now you both have the giggles and both of your laughs are just too infectious.

Everytime the two of you would go to Ambrose to visit his brothers, you guys would annoy the hell out of Bo and Vincent. Bo just wants to be left alone to work in his shop but instead he’s stuck listening to you tell a 40 minutes story about how you burnt dinner last night.

And Vincent just wants to be left alone to paint and sculpt but instead he’s here listening to Lester crack jokes that are a.) not funny and b.) don’t make any sense. -_-

Your and Lester’s trailer is always filled with so much love and laughter and the two of you could not be any happier.

You both have your own soft and quiet moments that hit at random times.

Sometimes it happens when the two of you are play fighting in the living room, howling with laughter. You both fall to the floor, wrestling and giggling until the both of you run out of breath and just gaze at each other as you lay on the carpet.

“You look so cute,” he giggles.

“No, YOU look so cute!”

“W-well!!! I love you!!”

“Uhm...well...I love you MORE.”

And it just turns into an argument about who adores the other more.

Billy Lenz (1974):

The perfect couple.

Literally.

The two of you are always joking around, cackling and goofing about every little thing.

Billy has finally found his soulmate and he could not be happier.

He two of you prank the sorority girls together, making sex sounds in unison to sound even more vulgar.

Everytime you crack a joke, you get worried Billy is joking because of how hard he’s laughing.

“Umm Billy you okay? It wasn’t even that funny.”

“HA haha...piggy makes me laugh...Billy loves your jokes.”

Needless to say, your relationship is filled with smiles, laughter, and praise.

Billy will tell you you’re the funniest person he’s ever met and he wants to keep you forever.

You tell Billy you love how much he laughs at your antics and that you can’t live without him.

It’s impossible to annoy Billy. It’s just not feasible.

Any time you try, he’ll just giggle and pat your head, telling you you’re his ‘favorite piggy ever.’

He LOVES when you annoy the sorority girls thoug!

Hearing you moan and squeal and speak so sexily vulgarly to Barb and Jess makes Billy so proud. And horny.

Almost all of your sexual encounters are filled with complete silliness.

Sometimes, however, the joking and cackling subside. The two of you will just be chilling, nothing else to do, and you just feel the need to profess your love for your boyfriend.

“I love you so much Billy.”

Billy will look startled at your sudden outburst, before he breaks out in a huge grin, launching across the room to tackle you into a hug.

“Billy loves you too! Billy loves you more than anything!!!”

Now the rest of your day will be spent in Billy’s arms, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Stu Macher:

Match made in Heaven!

Stu loves to joke around.

He hardly ever takes anything seriously.

He annoys everyone.

And once he meets you? It's love at first sight.

The two of you are always in detention because you guys just cannot shut up in class. You are always disrupting something.

But you know what that means!

Detention dates <3

As long as the two of you together, Stu couldn't care less about where he was.

He and Billy appreciate your habit of not taking anything seriously because once the murders start occuring, you don't think too much about it, never asking questions or arousing suspicion around your boyfriend and his bestie.

When Billy had told Stu his plan to kill Sydney, and asked him if he was going to kill you as well, Stu’s heart sank.

He remembers when he was dating Tatum, just a few months ago, before he broke up with her for you, he had no qualms about killing her,

But you?

He loved you. You were his other half. The one person who understood him, who accepted him. He could never hurt you.

“Nah dude. I’m leaving her out of this.”

That night, he sneaks through your bedroom window to see you.

“Stu! (where the hell have you been loca) What’re you doing here?”

The sparkling smile you flash at him and the love swimming in your big, beautiful eyes makes him feel even guitler.

He feels bad that you’re dating a serial killer. He thinks you deserve better, but he would never let you go.

“Hey babe! I just missed you!”

You rushed over to him, dressed in kitty cat pajamas, and hugged him tight. He had only snuck through your bedroom window a couple of times before, and they had all been planned. Seeing him in your room as a surprise made your heart burst with happiness.

Stu led you to your bed and pulled you up onto his chest to cuddle you. It was late, and the both of you were tired. Stu just wanted to lay with you in silence, appreciating your presence.

You didn’t feel like releasing your usual high energy at the moment. Right now, you just wanted to fall asleep on your boyfriend’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

Michael Myers:

Girl

Michael does not appreciate your antics.

Annoying him is easy, but you would never know that.

He keeps his emotions very private, so when he is annoyed he’ll just stalk away from you.

He does not think you’re funny :(

He does enjoy your quiet moments. He likes to come home when your energy is low.

He’s usually covered in blood when this happens, so you clean him up without cracking a joke which he appreciates.

You’ll turn on a movie for the both of you, and Michael lets you cuddle up with him.

He does like you, he just doesn’t want you to know that...

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oneoftheprettynerds · 4 years ago

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Worth The Eternity: Dark! Bucky x Reader (Vampire AU + Mob AU + Soulmate AU)

This is for @cherienymphe’s 5K Twilight Renaissance Writing Challenge. Congratulations, keep slaying! I wrote this instead of studying, so pray for my paper please lmao.

A/N: This tired girl tried.

WARNINGS: something between dubcon and noncon present. Triggering, darkish themes.

Summary of sorts: Ever seen Hotel Transylvania 1/2/3? In this AU, mythical creatures exist and have soulmates and you feel a zing if you are blessed enough to encounter them.

"Boss, we narrowed it down to these core three suspects.” A husky voice, slightly muffled by the sack on your head, entered your ears and you had a hard time being calm.

You had been picked up from your office, specifically the basement of Oscorp Industries while entering your sleek silver car. A pinch in your neck and everything comically blurred. Next thing you know, you are waking up with your entire body sore, your muscles and joints screaming and begging for freedom from tight restraints. Your vision is black, as if you are staring into an abyss and your vision is filled with white and red dancing spots forming patterns, maybe from the hours of inactivity.

Muffled noises of protest and scraping of metal against the concrete floor entered your ears and you realized you are not the only one here held captive. You racked your mind for possible explanations but couldn’t come up with one.

You lived a very simple life, even as the vice president of Oscorp industries. No messing around, no rivalries with other employees, no butting heads with the seniors on the Director’s board. Was this a ploy against the company? Or a domination statement against the weaker species, the humans?

Lucky enough for you, you realized you would soon find out as the sound of a shutter opening and metal clanking noisily filled your ears.

“Took you long enough, Scott. Fill me in.” Another brooding voice reprimanded jokingly and a million goosebumps traveled the path of your skin as you involuntarily shuddered.

“Yes Boss. We tracked the missing sum to the account of this man on the left. He has fourteen other accounts under different names and nationalities, pretty hard to trace but not impossible luckily. This proved he is shady so he’s most definitely involved.”

“This ginger on the right, he made the suspicious call with weird words so we believe he pretty much passed the verdict, calling the shots with the codewords. He has had several surgeries, his face is fucking silicon at this point but his DNA showed us his true identity, Mr. Rumlow here is the Consigliere of The Midnight Moon.”

You sat and listened, piecing together whatever you understood. The pack/mob name more than rung a bell, it scared you shitless. You were quick to catch on, realising that you were caught in an inter species scruffle.

“This shit just got interesting folks. Alright, where does Miss Sexy Legs fit in all this?”

The pencil skirt you wore wasn’t the most modest piece of clothing to exist and the spaghetti straps blouse was a bad choice considering the sheer coldness in this warehouse, the temperature only seemed to go down with the entry of your kidnappers but it’s not like you knew this was going to happen.

You could only assume with your legs on display that you were the one being sexualised and talked about.

“We are not sure about her though, that’s why I said suspects. We have proof the call was made from her phone but the videos show her lending it to a creepy stranger at a café. It might be really good acting but it’s highly unlikely. We brought her in because in the transfer of the stolen cash, her account was an intermediary but it’s a good chance that she was tricked when her phone was borrowed by Mr. Rumlow. Also, she’s a human, you see?”

If it was you being talked about, you felt a jot of relief, just a smudge because at least they were aware you weren’t involved in whatever game they were playing. That didn’t necessarily ensure your freedom, but hey, you were willing to take anything at that point.

“That’s the sweet fucking scent I keep on smelling!” The leader exclaimed as if he made a great discovery, a cure for a pandemic or cancer you’d think. His gruff voice almost had a light, cheery undertone to it, too unlike of a man who was wronged and cheated and was close to murdering someone no doubt. These mobsters are always maniacs like The Joker.

“It sucks that you brought her here. She might not be guilty, but now she knows too much. She’d make a good blood bag though. Maybe I’ll just have a taste, who knows?” The ‘boss’ made a disturbing slurping noise and your heart stopped at his words, a tear almost escaping your eye.

Discussion about drinking blood? You were most definitely in The Vamps territory, your assumption about the inter-species conflict true. You had no doubt you were the weakest in this creepy space, the frailest here, most probably the only human.

“Show me the bastards’ faces.” Like the flip of a switch, the joking man swapped his personality and all but growled. You heard the ripping of cloth and a man gagging, his shrieks muffled. Another flurry of movements and another man retching on the fabric could be heard.

“Well, hello Mr. Rumlow. I must say, brown suited you better.” A horde of chuckles made you widen your eyes, even though only black still filled your vision, as you realised there were at least a dozen twisted, sick men in the room. The fact that they were silent as fuck till now only showed you how disciplined and regimented these soldiers were.

“This one has a pretty face, boss.” You felt the sack ripped off you, and your eyes closed with the sudden flooding of the lights. Your eyes sealed due to hours of inactivity and you kept them shut, afraid to face your tormenter.

A cold hand cupped your cheek and straightened your face that was trying to hide itself in your silky locks by curling in your own neck, the cool metal of rings and insanely icy fingers chilling you literally.

“Open your eyes sweetheart.” A voice called out behind you and you gathered enough courage to face your impending doom, the air as silent as the calm before a storm.

Your orbs opened and gazed into piercing sapphire blue eyes and everything behind this chiseled face blurred. You could swear a ring of pink and red passed over his eyes and you shuddered again, getting overwhelmed due to the eye contact yourself. This wasn’t the usual anxiety you felt while meeting new people, it was somehow both a pull and a push. An inviting comforting pull and a terrifying, ‘stay cautious' push.

You, a self-sufficient woman, who had been independent for as long as you could remember, suddenly felt half; incomplete in a way that you couldn’t fathom. You felt an attraction, a tug towards the man in front of you, and the absurdity of the thoughts and emotions that popped in your brain made you heave on the gag.

Your intellect couldn’t find a reason, your view on love and romance until now completely conflicted. You believed soulmates to be separate pieces of art that complemented each other when together; then what was this broken jigsaw puzzle sentiment you were having now?

Your wide eyes somehow managed to break free of his stare, panicking and looking around to observe, which wasn’t comforting in the least as men with guns and gadgets filled your vision. You were relatively unharmed in comparison to the beaten lads beside you, one with a bruised face and the other with a bloody one.

The handsome man, the Boss’s stare didn’t leave you through the entirety of your searching around, you were sure they saw you as a scared little rabbit, waiting out its inevitable death.

“Lost in her eyes, Boss?” The sideman cracked what he believed to be the funniest joke in existence, earning laughs of the horde of the soldiers around.

Your eyes went to the Boss’s face, surprisingly when his left your face to glare a nasty stare on his trusted man. His muscular form raised the forelimb, his hand signaling to stop, that effectively quietened the room to a pin drop silence.

With gentle fingers, the man took off your gag and yours lips quivered, throat too dry to make a noise though. You greedily gulped the air through your mouth for whatever reason, maybe just to move your jaw after hours of inactivity.

Maintaining eye contact was challenging, arduous to say the least. It seemed as if he could read you, find everything about you there is to find by studying the flecks in your orbs. His delicate hands, loosened the ties and you were now more so confused, along with the trepidation.

Just what the fuck was going on?

Bucky had almost lost hope, centuries on this planet and no one to love and cherish, no personal confidante, no soulmate. But good things take time, right? And in his opinion, best things take an eternity. He knows this now.

Expect the unexpected was the truest phrase, idiom whatever it was, in this moment. He had spent countless nights wondering about his soulmate, was she pretty? Ugly? Was she even a she or not? Dumb or witty? He made a lot of scenarios of how they’d meet, the kids, reigning together. He entertained the idea of her being from a different species, a nymph, an orc, maybe a werewolf?

And now that he found her, it was a revelation, a surprise honestly. After all optimism got evaporated, after traveling the dark tunnel for centuries literally, there she was, his beacon of light. Finding her was a wonder, and her being a human was astonishing, a possibility he somehow failed to consider, but he was over the moon cause there she was, right in front of him now. A beautiful, stunning lady in flesh and blood, human flesh and blood, with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. His zing.

He always liked humans, apart from the similar appearances the vampires shared with them, they were always docile and accommodating. In the last few millenniums, after the mythical creatures showed themselves to the world, the humans understood their place and tier pretty early.

They were smart to surrender and be peaceful as all the species came to light, clever to know that even with less numbers they could be overpowered and bloodshed was detrimental to all involved.

He knew he would convert you soon though, your lifespan far too short for his liking, and obviously, now that he found you, you were to rule together. For Centuries.

His happiness was over taken by the realisation that you were not in the most hospitable settings, you were tied and strapped, being preyed on by his men. He made quick work of the restraints, allowing you to breathe by loosening them first. Your scared, trembling form plucked his unbeating heart’s strings, but strangely enough, his brain found amusement and he felt smug. Seeing you tied up and trembling was definitely a turn on for him, noted.

After commanding his foolish men to stop giggling, he leaned closer to you, your aura comforting and intoxicating as he smelled your hair. A divine scent, an addictive one for sure. The goosebumps on your skin confirmed the reciprocation of his connection.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” His husky voice, calming but imposing resonated in your ears, his hand tapping your cheek on the other side. Even though the private statement was whispered for you, the deafening silence made every person witness it.

He leaned back, his hands behind his back as he grinned, tone again light like earlier and commanded, “Get her out of here and cleaned up, tell Nat and Wanda, they’ll know what I mean. Then we’ll deal with these guys here, after the lady leaves of course. No scratch on her from this point forward or you’ll lose a limb. Proceed.”

All three of you, the hostages were going to get ‘taken care of’ but in different ways.

It had been over twenty hours for sure, you were abducted in the early hours of the morning and now the moon was out again, like one endless night. You remember being escorted to a sleek black car; your limbs ached but you managed to keep up. You tried to keep up with the car’s turns, trying to memorize the streets but your head was pounding and eyes were blurry.

You remembered being led to a suite in an expensive hotel like ones where your conferences were held, being taken to room and given towels to clean up. You didn’t change the dress when given another, the attire being a summer dress even shorter. A woman came a while later named Wanda who checked the forming light contusions and scuffed skin with hands so delicate, as if you were precious cargo. You were, you just didn’t know.

You didn’t eat anything they provided and after hours of conspiring and overthinking, you heard sturdy footsteps. Since your arrival, only women bothered with you, probably the ones the leader sent. But these were heavier, harder.

The door opened and you glanced up to find the leader who demanded your locking up in this fancy place, his eyes travelling on your form sat up on bed, as you mindfully pulled your skirt down. You were anxious the entire day, dreading your future but nothing was like the restlessness that ran through you in this person’s presence.

Maybe it was the fact he was a vampire, or the leader of a Mob or maybe both, but whatever it was he intimidated you, alarmed you, even though you’ve had only two encounters including the present one. You were smart to be scared, he looked at you like, like you were something to eat, your mind told you.

“Hey.” His raspy voice caught you off guard, not having heard a single syllable out of the women the entire day, your questions being ignored the entire time.

You stared at him warily. Your mind having a myriad of emotions and thoughts. You didn’t want to trigger him, besides the place being armed well, he was a vampire, a beefy one at that and you would be stupid to try anything. Shouting and making a scene was no good either, your best option being the lamest one: to talk it out. You refused to become a willing blood bag.

You let out a long sigh, surprising him somehow, “Look, I have money, resources in the business sphere, information, what do you want? I know I got caught in this by accident, but I’m willing to do a lot of things to get out. Name it and I’ll do my best.” You said with your ‘business deal’ voice, the wise, guiding leader voice from your office.

For some reason though, the man found it hilarious. He slapped his hand on his chest, his boisterous laugh echoing. It wasn’t that good a joke if he believed it to be one. Men, ever so condescending.

“Humans, ever so gluttonous. I don’t want your money, precious.” His term of endearment didn’t fall short to your ears, but you had larger things in play here than a sweet nothing.

“I have other things to offer, name it.” Within your moral sphere, of course.

“You still don’t get it, do you? And you humans boast you have everything figured about us.”

He neared you and you leaned to the inner area of the bed, refusing to get cornered to the wall if things escalate and wanting to have the option of running away, probably in vain though. With each step he took, a new shudder ran through you because of the closing distance between your bodies, it getting triggered in unexplainable ways.

You didn’t need to say words to prompt him to explain, your scrunched eyebrows already doing that mission. “You should feel it too, you know? The goosebumps, the bewilderment in your insides, you’re intoxicated by my very presence too, aren’t you?”

The more he neared, your breaths quickened visibly, his words becoming truer. Your skin heating, mind losing a bit of consciousness. His presence didn’t affect you to this extent in the warehouse, but now? You were putty, almost incapable to think. You tried to roll over to the other side but your plan failed because he caged you with his bulky hands on your shoulder, body diagonal across yours. With how slow and out of it you were, he didn’t even need his heightened speed to trap you.

“Oh, it’s kicking in, isn’t it? The realization, the surge of love and lust? To be held and cherished and be full of me?” He smirked at your trembling form, your chest heaving and weak arms trying to push him off.

“I’ve read humans feel flushed, hot, so let’s get you out of these scraps, yes?” He slid off the thin straps while you mumbled a very unconvincing ‘stop’. Both actions were pretty pointless because he wouldn’t stop, you both knew that and also, he ended up taking the top off over your torso the normal way.

Your hands barely managed to land themselves on his wrist to pull them off, but the foolish limbs ravished in the feel of his cold skin instead. It was like a high you had never experienced and your body wanted more. It was already addicted to the feel of this stranger whose name you didn’t even know.

He unzipped the skirt, your pathetic body no longer even fighting him as he rambled on. “Among us vampires, well not much to tell but we’re all freezing cold when we find our ‘zing’. Like every normal day. Except for the inability to think and the need for their mate’s blood, of course.”

He came back up to kiss you, his body now in line with yours as one hand held your cheek and the other groped your breast. You had an out of body experience, feeling disgusted for reciprocating the kiss but also wanting more of that, more of him.

He trailed down your neck to your collarbone and you gasped for air, your thoughts incoherent. He kissed between the valley of your breasts, removing the bra sometime in between as you heaved. He wanted nothing more than to rest in those swells for an eternity.

As soon as cold air hit your nipples, one was being sucked while other was being pinched. The nameless stranger alternated between licking like a kitten and sucking like a baby on the breasts. Your rational part felt gross but the dominating side was the one experiencing delight.

He kissed down the sternum, to your bellybutton and then hovered above the thin, flimsy underwear. His hands slid down your sides, down the curve of your waist and hooked themselves at the cloth’s side, pulling them down in a swift motion.

Your legs quaked, trying to close themselves but one muscular arm on your thigh was able to hold them off, throw one away from the other. He leaned down and you were pathetically still under his muscles, your lower limbs either not daring to move or not wanting to.

You wrapped your hands around your torso to hide a bit of yourself, but did that really matter in the larger picture of the events unfolding right now?

You closed your eyes, tears already escaping since minutes ago as you tried to accept the reality of what was happening. A cold sensation on your little button caught you off guard; an infinitesimal fraction of time later, an inhale reached your ears.

You looked down, opening your eyes to find the man smelling you, his Grecian nose poking through your folds and taking in sniffs of your intimate part.

“Please sto-”

“The scent at its source, so fucking divine. I want a taste.” With that, your sentence got interrupted by his words and then by his action as his tongue licked away. It sucked on the bead, delving in the cavity there pretty fucking deep and he slurped away like he pretended to do when you were blindfolded.

Your back arched like a gymnast, hands that were folded across your chest clawing at your own skin, leaving marks behind. His hands were hooked around your thighs and they threw your legs on his shoulder some point in between. When he thrusted three fingers at once, an audible wheeze left your lips, your noiseless gasps now hoarse ‘Aah’s and you could feel him smirk.

There a also a lot of teeth involved with his razor sharp canines that appeared out of nowhere during this and when he thrusted his fingers particularly hard with his teeth nibbling on your sensitive bud, you shamelessly let go of the inside flow.

It felt humiliating and mortifying, your body glowing with the aftereffects of descending into bliss while your mind wanted to cry. Your soul was surprisingly content with what unfolded, at peace. You hated the diversity of emotions you felt, revolted to find even a bit of positive sentiment at your assaulter’s actions.

While your inner monologue happened, the man got up and out of his clothes painfully quick. You tried to sit your up, feebly trying to escape but ineffectively so. Your eyes couldn’t meet the handsome stranger’s nor did you want to see him naked and removed him form your eyeline, making you get caught off guard when his hands wrapped around your ankles and pulled you down, finishing the small distance you managed to crawl up.

His hands left their place as he kissed his way back up your flushed skin, from the swell of your ankle to the swell of your stomach. He licked away the drops of blood around the crescent scratches left by your nails under the intense ecstasy he forced upon you. Then he continued his journey from the swells of your chest to the swell of your cheek, taking you in a fiery, needy yet affectionate kiss.

Your surroundings blurred a second into the kiss, mouth and skin hungry for his touch alike. A thrust had you painfully gasp as you were stretched unlike ever before, impaled to a depth unlike ever before. He kissed away your tears that continued to spill on command of your ashamed mind and leaned back to look into your eyes, a pretty pink passing over them for a fleeting second.

His blue orbs bore into yours and you almost believed he loved you by the intensity of his gaze. At this moment in time, nothing but you two mattered, connected and finally together. How you got here didn’t matter, how unwilling you were didn’t matter. This felt right, felt necessary and was worthy of everything you went through. The rational part seemed to die the instant you two physically connected and somehow, everything and nothing made sense.

But you felt complete.

Your lips captured his of their own accord, and you both smiled into the caress of your lips while he began thrusting, one hand on your waist, the other supporting his weight. Out of breath, he leaned back, still thrusting though, and gazed at you. “Scott back there, he called you pretty, that’s practically an insult. The way you look right now, you’re much more than beautiful. You’re ethereal, my Zing, the loveliest in existence.”

His genuine words tugged at your heart. For some reason you believed him, had confidence in his feelings. Your foreheads connected as he quickened, his hand caressing your skin, the cool against your warm skin soothing. It didn’t take long for you to let go again this time; your previous resolution already dissolved. He neared your ears and whispered, “I want you to scream my name. It’s Bucky.” You nodded absentmindedly, chasing the high.

One particular thrust paired with his canines piercing your skin made you cry out “Bucky!” and you felt him smirking in your neck, lapping the blood. You wilted in bliss and your eyes closed, warmth filling you minutes after. Your eyes were dazed and you felt ‘Bucky’ shift, removing his towering frame from you, a goofy smile on the chiseled face.

With mind free of the aforementioned disapproving thoughts, you checked out his handsome face. It was like you saw him in an entirely different light now.

He gave you a quick peck, his hands cradling your face and he spoke with the utmost sincerity. “You are worth the wait, precious. No measure of time with you will be long enough. But we’ll start with forever to compensate. I’m never letting you go.”

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violet-t-9 · 3 years ago

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Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 140

1. Nobody in the party perma-dies in the potential battle against Lucien/the Somnovem (temporary unconsciousness is to be expected).

Jester did not perma-die! Nooo Caleb no don’t die please wow this is one of my nightmares- ok Lucien died nvm Caleb you are fine WHEW. No perma-deaths. NOT EVEN MOLLY

2. The group discovers/uses more new eye functions that we have not seen before during the combat (unlikely, but still may be brought up).

Nope, but telepathy did get used for communication a lot, so that was fun.

3. They successfully defeat Lucien, stop/destroy the city and prevent the end of the world by the end of the episode.

Well, Lucien is stopped before the break at least!

4. A glimpse of Molly is shown before Lucien is defeated (e.g. he starts to remember them, etc) due to their effort to try to reach him/trigger his memories.

They got him to lose so many legendary reactions! Lucien also clawed his own face and torn himself apart in the end, so I’m going to count this as Molly, fighting back to protect his friends.

5. Beau and Yasha battle couple moments and possibly a passionate kiss after.

They didn’t get many power couple moments in this fight. However, Beau and Yasha’s consistent damage output brought them so much closer to success! ALSO YES A POST-BATTLE KISS I KNEW IT I CALLED IT the healing hands hug too nice.

6. More mind control attempts occur in combat (emphasis on the “attempt”).

Well yes, against Essek again (thankfully failed) and Yasha with the nightmare cage. Caleb mind blank was so clutch, at least SOMEBODY cannot be mind-controlled here. No Veth got charmed oh no.

7. Fjord and Jester healing/saving each other and some sweet moments after.

Jester healed Fjord among the mass cure wounds as well! Also the fire resistance ring still played a role! Aww the hug in the marine layer fog was so cute! Also ayy they recovered the Cloven Crystal hahaha. Nice moment!

8. Artagan/sprinkle is mentioned/makes an appearance.

The divine intervention attempt by Jester almost succeeded Nooo. Thanks for showing up at Caleb’s revival at least.

9. Obligatory wish for Essek’s fancy dunamancy or magical items (can we please stay away from Lucien for like one round and let him use dark star).

TETHER ESSENCE YAY!! Loved the description. No dark star sad (Matt WAS saving for it), but 8th level gravity fissure is still cool though! It was unfortunate because Essek had such a high initiative as well, but all is well.

10. Obligatory wish for the polymorph spell.

Look this is just a permanent feature ono this list.

11. Obligatory wish for Essek’s room in the tower.

Look this is just a permanent feature on this list.

12. Obligatory wish for Cad being a MVP in and out of combat.

Cad’s revivify on Jester THANK YOU CAD (also thanks Caleb for getting her to him so he can bring her back quickly). JESTER HDYWTDT YES thanks to path of the grave from Cad. I knew it, Cad is always a MVP. 13. Veth being attracted to Lucien’s Astral Washboard (still reeling from the “you are not my type... but maybe you are?”)

“Kind of like a minotaur” LMAO Veth I knew it. Even in the final boss battle... That aside, Veth is such a MVP in terms of damage. Rogues, man! She did so much on Lucien and had evasion which was clutch.

14. creepy but awesome lair actions from Cognouza the flesh horror city under Lucien’s control + other new moves from Lucien’s secondary form.

Summon Cataclysm?? Will Aether?? Oh no Caduceus :( Nightmare Cage?? Yasha :( LAIR ACTION WITH PATTERNS oh NO- whew everyone rolled high thank you Jester for the Heroes’ Feast. The EYES get to go?? FOLD SPACE?? The 6 bladed attacks on Veth OH NO. NO Caleb got thrown with a tower at Essek wow those legendary actions sure are pretty strong.

15. They get to the end of the combat without anyone reaching 9 eyes.

YES! This happened! I’m so glad that the timer, whatever it was, did not activate in the Lucien fight.

16. Their eyes vanish after they defeat Lucien/destroy the city.

YES! YES! I knew it! Ayyyyyyy

17. Caleb uses more fire/customized/dunamantic spells creatively or with nice flair (what’s sexier than wizards NOTHING).

He WILLED a glaive to hit Lucien I love you sexy wizard I literally love your imagination and creativity Widogast this is why you are my favourite. CALEB WITH YOUR MIRROR IMAGE YOU ABSOLUTE TANK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

18. Fjord uses his vestige in battle (come on that’s a star razor you’ve got there).

I... Marine layer also works, sure. Also you know what, Eldritch blast rules anyways. Fjord has always been a perfect warlock (and paladin probably).

19. Veth successfully using the Aeorian security cannon’s feature to hit again OR Veth using a fluffernutter.

Wow did not expect ASC to succeed in the first round, but it did! I’m so proud of you ASC.

20. The city’s inhabitants get freed from their fates of perpetual screaming.

“You hear whispers in your mind” YES! They are grateful and they are freed!

21. The party’s reaction when any member goes down (give me the angst).

No Veth is down... OOF. Nooo Jester NOO! Cad was almost down (death ward clutch). I regret wanting angst I’m sorry! I mean I knew it was going to happen. No Caleb is down Nooo I regret everything why did I want angst?! CALEB NO I didn’t want angst I didn’t-

22. Yasha uses her undead barbarian superpowers to fight on 0 hitpoints forever because she is awesome.

You know what, I’m glad she never got to 0 HP. So many party members went down already.

23. Obligatory wish for everyone to remain relatively happy and alive by the end of the episode except Lucien, and the episode hopefully does NOT end on a terrifying cliffhanger because they win.

WOW, I was right. We got it, guys. We really got it, a happy ending.

Bonus moments:

Jester’s banishment on Vigilan was nice and quite crucial. Jester and Caduceus remind us every day why having two clerics is necessary for M9. Jester willed the bag of holding back to them lol.

Fjord THANK YOU for the Fastidan kill, that eye was such a menance.

The wizards helping each other in battle were such nice moments.

Molly fighting back and helping them until the end :( WAIT is Caleb going to raise dead with his transmuter stone YES THE RITUAL I’m about to cry from Yasha, Jester and Beau... No NATURAL 1... WAIT DIVINE INTERVENTION?? 2% WHAT THAT WAS A WHIPLASH. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY. DUDE THE IRONY OF CAD BRINGING MOLLY BACK THOUGH.

Score: 17/23

Wow what an emotional rollercoaster oh man oh man

What a story

I love them so much

See you next Thursday!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #the mighty nein #cr spoilers #manifest list #cr liveblog #campaign 2 #c2e140 #campaign 2 spoilers

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eldritch-elrics · 3 years ago

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svsss: the (not so) grand return of peerless cucumber

so a LOT happened in the chapters i read last night (44-49) and i have. SO many thoughts

not as many as i had right after i read but i really had to go to bed so i couldn’t write them all up.....

i put some reactions in individual posts but i’ll repeat them here!

first of all. shang qinghua. fucked off to the demon realm. like, good for him? but also. i want to see my boy

binghe keeping sqq’s body??? xue yang vibes OFF the charts

so I’M IN LOVE WITH THE MUSHROOM PLOT

i love how every so often sv will hit me with a twist that is SO up my alley that i just. lose it a little bit

HE MADE HIMSELF A CLONE BODY OUT OF MAGICAL MUSHROOMS AND TRANSPORTED HIS SOUL INTO IT.

i love mushroom shit and i love bodyswapping and. my god.

the fact that sqq has died twice and been forced to inhabit 3 different bodies??? wei wuxian wishes he were this cool

sidenote but the mental image of sqq doing radio calisthenics in the forest is really funny. or maybe it’s just funny to me because of the associations i have with this one time in japanese class?

sqq’s new body looking like a cross between shen yuan and shen qingqiu is really interesting and perhaps... symbolic....?

also hey does this mean he doesn’t have to deal with the cureless poison anymore. i assumed that it would be cured in his eventual sexytimes with binghe but hmmm i guess not!

the point where i really lost it was when he realized he was disconnected from the system. i know now that it wasn’t permanent but that was just so interesting, how much he hates it and wants it gone. which makes sense! even though it has helped him get out of bad spots at times, it’s a sign that he’s not really from this world. now i’m just really curious what’s gonna happen to the system at the end of the novel. maybe it’ll shut off once he achieves the “goal” it’s seemed to have set for him and gets together with lbh?

also i’m glad that sqq seems to have matured a little bit in terms of his people skills / problem solving skills? though uh. remains to be seen how he’ll act in front of binghe when binghe realizes who he is

it also seems like i was completely wrong about sqq’s motivations for sacrificing himself lol. lot more selfish than i thought? but it makes sense! fun twist

mxtx sure likes to have her protagonists execute plots that they don’t tell the reader about until after they happen lol (i’m thinking of the golden core transfer)

uhh back to plot reactions

love the running joke about peerless cucumber. also the demon names... six balls <3

also hold on a minute, peerless cucumber is a dick joke? lmao

thank you airplane for making it clear binghe has a big dick. absolutely vital character information

so i’ve said this before but sqq’s narration really CARRIES this novel. here i’m thinking specifically about his diatribe against sha hualing’s nails

shl is pretty fun. sexy evil lady!

sqq can turn his fan into a blade. nie huaisang get ON that smh

yang yixuan my beloved!

also HAHA i predicted that sqq’s super mushroom powers could help the xin mo thing and i was RIGHT

so sqq is just. SO invested in getting the plot back on track. like with all the harem members and stuff. it’s so funny because like bro. surely you’ve noticed by now that things are going very differently than in pidw. and also... you don’t WANT to go back on the pidw track bc that would kill you!!!

so the system reactivates when binghe turns up right? i am thinking about. the fact that when it tries to reboot it’s like “contacting customer service”

WHO IS CUSTOMER SERVICE.

it’s so interesting because like... obviously the whole system thing is so much bigger than just A Book? it’s even got airplane trapped inside it. and he’s the fucking author! who is running this thing? and for what purpose?

sqq listening in on the gossip about how lbh is DEFINITELY obsessively in love with him was SO funny. poor man

so binghe. he has become so COLD

i don’t like it :(

once more. my dude go to therapy.

wait also random but sqq has a beard now and for some reason that’s so funny to me

life at the palace seems terrible lmao no one is doing ok

smh, mxtx protags keep dying and staying dead for huge amounts of time and then coming back in different bodies

the fact that binghe’s happiest memories are training with sqq :(

THE FACT THAT BINGHE IS ABSOLUTELY SHIT AT KISSING

my god. that entire scene

went from “awwww headpats” to “AAAAAAAA”

the fact that the system congratulates him i’m sjkdhgjhsdhgjsds poor sqq.... didn’t ask for this shit.......

after 50 chapters, he’s finally realized he turned the male lead gay <3 say goodbye to all those funny oblivious moments!

i had to stop there because it was way too late at night but wow. we shall see how this relationship progresses

i can’t see it improving anytime soon but at least sqq knows lbh likes him now???

i had a LOT of thoughts last night but now i’m pretty much just like. i really need to see where it goes before i make any judgements on bingqiu

rn i’m not a big fan because 1. sqq is so wildly uncomfortable (understandable lol, even if lbh thinks it’s just a dream) and 2. lbh is very obsessive and that’s not really my favorite trope. but like it’s obviously not meant to be a healthy relationship, at least definitely not right now, and i do like some good fucked up romance! i’m excited to see the developments where sqq realizes what his real feelings are

i’m also fairly neutral on binghe as a character atm. his main personality traits seem to be “obsessed with sqq” and “trying not to die from evil sword qi poisoning” and i don’t find that all that compelling? between him and lwj i have to say that mxtx’s love interest characters are not really my favorite, though i wouldn’t say i dislike either of them.

furthermore i’m slightly concerned with how lbh’s “i’m the main character and i get what i want” attitude is gonna affect the romance. i know there’s some dubconny stuff later which i can’t say i’m excited for but i am excited to see how binghe’s character is gonna develop in general

my aspirations for bingqiu is that they’re both able to eventually break free of the expectations of the system

because, look at this from sqq’s pov. there’s this ai in your head that has, for literal years, been steering you towards a romance that you (at least outwardly) don’t want. isn’t that fucking terrifying? i love it. the system (at least how i see it) has been bending the established plot of the world in order to make this happen. it’s like fate but you can see the gears turning.

and even if sqq does end up liking lbh back, can you imagine the existential crisis of like. wondering if he really CHOSE to get with binghe or if he was somehow compelled to by the system which acts based on binghe’s emotions?

i think that would be so interesting

however what i think is Actually going to happen (based on that one time when airplane was like “hey cucumber, uh, is lbh just a character to you or is there more...”) is that sqq is gonna realize that he’s had a bit of a crush on binghe since reading pidw and is only just now dealing with his internalized homophobia. so him getting together with binghe has less strings attached

i think there’s some opportunity here for a commentary on the soulmate trope? because svsss is just so steeped in themes about agency and fate. i think that would be really cool but we’ll have to see. i feel like the ending is gonna be simpler and happier than i want it to be but obviously i cannot make any judgements yet! i’m just having Thoughts :)

so, i also read one of the extras (the one where he goes with lqg to battle succubi) because the translation i’m reading recommended it! it was pretty fun

sqq SO clueless. like i get it, he doesn’t think he’s into anything other than Pretty Cis Women, but. sqq we’ll work on this

also ASKING LQG IF HE’S A VIRGIN. sqq literally stop

(that was so funny though)

liu qingge ACE RIGHTS

actually lqg’s outburst in this chapter was kind of bizarre and can be explained in a few different ways i think?

i really like the idea of him being aroace. thinks true love doesn’t exist etc

i feel like the intended implication of lqg’s outburst is that he’s realized madame meiyin is referring to binghe and is like “holy shit no sqq can’t be with Him”

maybe lqg is just homophobic?

but i. also kind of wonder if lqg is gay and in love with sqq? and is just putting up the “such deep love doesn’t exist” thing because he really doesn’t want sqq to know

there was that whole line where the succubus was like “well you’re not his soulmate you don’t know” and it made me think

on the other hand i can’t really see lqg liking sqq that way; they seem to have more of a Bro Bond

then again lqg does keep fighting binghe for sqq’s sake

either headcanon is fun! i’d be excited for more insight into lqg in general i think

#my god this is long #svsss #svsss spoilers #finn reads scum villain #my post

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op-peccatori · 5 years ago

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The MLQC Boys and Sleeping/Bedtime Habits (nsfw-ish)

more ‘quick thoughts’ lmao...I can go on and on when it comes to these men. Literally had to step away from the keyboard.

Rating: Mature

Tags/Warnings: mentions of/implies sexy times but nothing too explicit, this wasn’t meant to be so long wtf, unedited atm

song of the moment: little things by one direction

Kiro:

Most open to being the little spoon! Although he likes curling around you, likes to feel like he can protect you from anything, he also enjoys feeling your arms curled around him. You’re the treasure, and he’s the dragon guarding his hoard. Under his bright exterior is a fierce love, resolute and undying, which most people will never get to see.

This is something he’s told you before, and he hopes he’s done a good job conveying it—to him, you’re home. Climbing into bed with you after a long day is the only good way to end that day. He loves singing to you, whether it’s a soft ballad or a completely made up silly song. You can’t count on hand the number of times you’ve giggled over the songs you two have created, silly whispers in the dark, fingers stroking warm skin. Some nights are quiet, with your bodies doing the talking, pressing your love into each other’s skin, smiling into soft kisses. It’s like basking in your own personal sunshine, the warmth seeping into your very bones, leaving you with only hope and the belief that everything will be okay.

He’s your partner in crime. Midnight snacking, gaming and dance parties until you collapse.

Nights spent away from you are spent video calling you, singing to you onscreen, showing you any new foods he’s tried. He tries to keep days away from you at a minimum, and though he tries really hard to control that feeling of sullenness and unease when he’s not with you, the fact of the matter is that his day is just incomplete if he doesn’t get to talk to you or see your face.

It’s not surprising to wake up with his face buried in your stomach, or with his leg curled over you. Kiro truly treats you like his own beloved stuffed toy, and you can’t help but melt in his warm embrace as you both watch a movie. Neither of you is very good with horror movies, but watching them together as you cuddle in fear is better. You’re always stronger together, after all. Both of you have a hard time going to sleep after, choosing to play games to distract yourselves.

However, if you do happen to be good with horror, prepare yourself for an armful of Kiro, and to be the big spoon that night.

Lucien:

He doesn’t glue himself to you. Sometimes, he’s content to face you and watch you drift into sleep, or run his fingers through your hair until you sleepily cuddle closer to him. You grow bolder with your requests for him to read to you, his voice always soothing your stressed-out mind; nothing delights him more than seeing you inch closer to him even in your sleep, although he’s aware that it’s probably just due to his body heat.

He’s a movie buff, and you love listening to his interpretations of the plots, and the dialogue. He’s not a snob about his choices, he’ll watch anything. He does enjoy watching the LOTR movies, which never fail to–eventually–put you to sleep no matter how big a fan you are.

If he does fall asleep next to you, you might wake up with his hand still tangled in your hair, or laced with yours. Just a little contact with you feels grounding to him. It’s enough to calm the raging waters beneath his skin, to fill him with contentment. You love waking him up with butterfly kisses, because you know what he’ll do, and you pretend to be surprised every single time–when his lips curl up a little before his eyes have even opened, and sneaky fingers wrap around your waist so he can give you a proper good morning kiss.

You’ve been embarrassed about him watching you sleep quite often, but he doesn’t know how to explain it to you–how human it makes him feel. When it’s just you two in bed, he’s just a man in bed with the love of his life. He doesn’t remember ever having someone let their guard down around him so fully, and sleep without a care in the world. Every incoherent word you mumble, every little twitch, it’s seared into his memory. It actually makes him want to try harder and actually sleep, to join you in that other mystical world.

For the longest time, he looked forward to waking up next to you, just to see what he’ll wake up to. Will you be hanging off the edge of the bed? Will your face be burrowed into his armpit? It’s all very exciting for him, even if it makes little sense. For someone who’s delved into things most people can’t possibly comprehend, these are such tiny things. But they mean the world to him, and he could spend the rest of his life noting them down in his head.

Lucien craves intimacy, so badly that he has to rein it in, lest he scares you away. Especially when you both give into your desires and he loses himself in your skin–it shows in his eyes. You’re rendered speechless when you lock eyes with him, feeling so completely exposed as if he’s peering into your very soul. And he feels the same, because his eyes are where his emotions exhibit themselves, but only to you. It’s like looking into an unexplored yet inviting abyss, terrifying yet exhilarating, with promises of discovering things about yourself you couldn’t have even imagined.

Initially, it’s always Lucien who’s pulling you into his arms, taking over, sheltering you. When you finally convince him to place his head on your lap, carding your fingers through his hair, it’s as if he’s discovered something new. He enjoys pressing his face into your stomach during afternoon naps, shedding his armour and weapons for a brief respite. He feels like he could shatter into a million little pieces when you trace his features with curious fingertips until you’ve had your fill, which is never. He doesn’t quite know how to cope with the fact that you’re just as crazy about him as he is about you. On the surface, he’s thrilled. But with Lucien, you need to look deeper, and you’ll see the disbelief, the terror, the possessiveness, the vulnerability that comes with loving someone so deeply.

Once he’s had a taste, Lucien will do everything in his power to spend every night with you. He loathes sleeping alone, in a cold bed, and only feels better when he receives a selfie of you wrapped up in his shirt. If you just happen to give him a glimpse of bare skin, revealing the lack of clothing underneath, he’s calling you right away. He loves instructing you over the phone and receiving your own breathless demands. He loves hearing your breath even out as you fall asleep after, finally settling his heart down.

Gavin:

The first time you fell asleep next to Gavin, he couldn’t fall asleep the entire night. His nerves were on fire, and he was so afraid of making the slightest of movements and waking you up. It took a while for him to lift his eyes to your face. He felt a little guilty about it, but he couldn’t look away. You looked so beautiful even in your sleep, and it robbed him of all tiredness. He isn’t used to sleeping next to someone. This isn’t about taking charge and looking out for you. This is about relaxing.

He jolts if you mumble anything in your sleep, straining his ears to catch the words. Gavin takes time to really get used to you sleeping in his bed. The girl of his dreams (teenage and adult) tossing an arm over him, nuzzling his chest. The first few times, it’s a shame you’re not awake to witness the way he smiles. An arm thrown over his face to hide his burning cheeks, but it doesn’t help with the happiness swelling in his heart. He feels incredibly full with it.

Despite his shy smiles, romance comes to him rather easily. He doesn’t even realise it but he makes you feel so loved with just a few simple actions, you only wish he could accept the same from you. You have to bulldoze past his protests that ‘he’s fine’, massaging his sore feet or back–you get your reward in his snores, in his relaxed limbs, in the automatic way he pulls you into him when you settle next to him.

He loves hearing about your day. You can go on and on, thinking he’s probably tuned out, but he’s paying attention to every word that comes out of your mouth. Slowly, he starts sharing what he can of his days too. At first, he tries to hide the dangerous things, but when you insist on it, he shares–with as little detail as possible. It’s an important step for him, learning to share his troubles, his needs, his desires. He’s never been one for naps, but can’t help it when you curl into him. You feel so incredibly loved, nearly worshipped, and you’re warm with it. What you have to do is show him how important he is. Hold him close, tell him as many times as it takes (even if it’s forever) that he is loved, that he’s in your heart. Be there for him as he heals, as he comes to accept his own value. All he needs is for you to love him.

He doesn’t know how to ask for sex, afraid of pushing your boundaries or pressuring you. The day he slips a hand below your shirt, stroking soft skin, you nearly derail the attempt by beaming at him in absolute joy. It’s fixed by curling your leg over his hip and your slipping fingers into his hair, showing him how much you like it.

He doesn’t watch TV. But watching something with you, watching you react to whatever’s going on is amusing. To your delight, he does end up liking Brooklyn Nine-Nine quite a bit. It’s fascinating to watch him laugh softly, amber eyes shining with mirth–until he notices you staring and blushes. Tell him how cute he looks when he’s embarrassed and he might stop breathing.

Victor:

It might take you both a while to really settle into this intimate space. Victor is such a private man, and his bed is the deepest part of his fortress–he has his own sleeping habits, and you’re not sure if you should press. You’re not sure if he likes his space in bed. At the time same, Victor is agonising over whether or not it’s okay to just pull you close and bury his head in your fair. He does eventually notice you inching closer, waiting for him to react, until there’s barely a few inches between you. A whisper from you about the cold will have him suppressing a smile as he winds an arm around you.

It doesn’t matter if the temperature in the room is actually perfect–he keeps you close. When he wakes up in the morning to find himself curled around you, his front to your back, he decides that from now on, this is how it’s going to be. He loves spooning you but will never admit it, always feigning ignorance when you wake up with a snuggly Victor, even though you had gone to sleep in completely different positions.

He’s a man of action, of never wasting time, but Victor can actually spend the entire day in bed with you, doing absolutely nothing. It’s so cosy he has a hard time leaving the little nest. You’ve spent countless Sundays wrapped in blankets, blowing on hot cocoa, watching the cheesiest rom coms you can find. Victor likes movies with intelligent plots, but what made you fall a little harder for him was discovering all the rom coms suggested for him. He refused to comment on it, scoffed when you said you wanted to watch something romantic but you will never forget the sight of a misty-eyed Victor refusing to look at you after an emotional scene.

His expression when you said you wanted to watch The Time Traveller’s Wife had been priceless.

He has a strict diet and routine, but with your corrupting and persuasive ways, you do manage to talk him into midnight snacking–occasionally. He loves arguing with you over characters’ actions and thought processes, always interested in knowing what you would do in their place. He thinks you look cute when you’re riled up, but isn’t as prepared for the high of emotions that usually ends with his leg slipping between your thighs as your tongue slips into his mouth.

He teases you about snoring, smirking wickedly when you turn flush and flail. What you will never know is how softly he smiles when he hears you snore, amused more than anything as he tugs you closer and you press your face into his neck. Sometimes, you mumble things about food. Even though you won’t remember it, he cooks it for you the next day. It’s his own little way of fulfilling wishes you’re not even aware of.

Please cuddle with him. He doesn’t know how to initiate it other than just taking you into his arms. Hold him close, kiss his hair, tease him. Climb onto his lap or pull him onto yours. Learn to read his face and body, because there’s so much he doesn’t know how to say.

He’s always believed naps are a waste of time but it’s also never stopped him from indulging. With you, he’ll still complain–even as he loosens his tie and plops down, looking up at you expectantly, and holds on tighter when it’s time to get up. Falling asleep with Victor feels like stepping into the ice fortress, only to find unbelievable warmth and safety inside. You never want to leave.

He feels a little pathetic when he’s away from you, feeling dejected and cold in his silent hotel room. Thoughts he’ll never voice out loud spring up, dramatic in their very nature. It’s awful, he thinks, being on his own. Are you thinking about him? Is it too early for a bedtime call? Is he being too needy? He’s not very good at sending pictures or video calling, and he resorts to excuses when he calls even though he just wanted to hear your voice. If you tell him you miss him, he’ll melt instantly. Keep talking, even if he’s not listening to every word, the sound of your voice is enough to bring him warmth. You can hear his sleepy responses to your words, but you know there’s no point in asking if he wants to go sleep–he won’t want to hang up until you’re both asleep.

#mlqc #mlqc headcanons #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mr love queen's choice #mlqc fanfic #mr love: queen's choice

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #340

“wash the poison from off my skin / show me how to be whole again”

What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have this oddly specific memory of bringing my little Snorlax plushie for one in pre-k. I remember thinking everyone thought I was weird for liking Pokemon as a girl. Do you remember losing your first tooth? I don't. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I think I was addicted to World of Warcraft at a point, but it's honestly hard to tell. My depression was just so abysmal that it was the one thing I got even a smidge of not even joy, but active distraction out of because the options of what you can do in the game are essentially limitless. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it does make me jump because I don't like loud noises. Name one person you’d like to see this month. Bitch we fighting Covid, stay away from me. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don’t know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? They're nearly tied, honestly, but I prefer the original. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I KNOW my maternal grandmother didn't, and I don't believe any other grandparent did, either. When was the last time you had a bubble bath? Not since I was a kid. What do you usually buy when you go to the corner store? You mean like, a gas station or dollar store? Something small like that? In that case, I'll usually look for a Mountain Dew Voltage sometimes along with something Reese's-related. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, absofuckinglutely. He so obviously loves me. I know my snake doesn't though, considering reptilian brains just physically aren't capable of creating that emotion. She does, however, obviously trust me and definitely seems to enjoy coming out of her terrarium and thus hanging out by me. Bubbles or sidewalk chalk? I loved drawing with chalk, but I like bubbles more. I just love how they catch light and have such beautiful colors to share. What do you use to tell time when your gone out somewhere? My phone. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. I wish I still was, goddammit. I used to be so fit, and it's funny, because even back then at like, 118 lbs at 5'4'', I thought I was kinda chubby. Like bitch shut the fuck up. Watermelon or cherries? I honestly don't like either, but I'll definitely pick watermelon over cherries. They're disgusting. What is your all-time favourite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Biiiiiitch guess lmao. I think everyone has, though. What is the band you’ve listened to most lately? Definitely 3TEETH. Love 'em. Favourite brand of cookies? Hm, good question. They've gotta be good at making SOFT chocolate chip cookies, though. I don't enjoy crunchy cookies nearly as much. If you could meet anyone who lived before your time, who would it be? I don't really know. Oh, y'know, chatting with Edgar Allan Poe would probably be cool. Do you pay for your own things? I literally can't. It's embarrassing. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain sexual things I've done, probably. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Of course. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? I felt that way in my friendship with Colleen, but no romantic relationships. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. Like no, go to hell. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Pre-Covid, yeah. What do you dislike the most about being the gender that you are? Probably how heavily judged women are for having ANYTHING "wrong" with their appearance. You could be five pounds over what is "normal" for your height and you're seen as fat. One strand of body hair, and you're disgusting. Bushy eyebrows, you're now manly. I could go on and on. Do you think that weed/marijuana should be legalized? Yes. Rate your typing speed on a scale from 1 - 10? 10. Do you enjoy tanning? Ugh, no. Just sitting there doing nothing but sweating. Have you ever written anybody an anonymous note? I have not. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah; we used to have one. It was the best when we lived in the woods. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? I just let it air dry. Candles or incense? I prefer incense. Can you juggle? No. Your favorite vegetable? Broccoli. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like terrifying wildlife. I'd much rather just take pictures of the little guys and let them go about their business. If we returned to a world without internet, what aspect of online life would you miss the most? YouTube, haha. It's more unique and personal entertainment than television, imo. Are you craving anything aside from food, and if so, what? I want a new piercinggggg. What was the last change you made to your lifestyle? I'm *trying* to get back into regularly making art, along with reading. I'm also really trying to implement drinking more water into my day. What was the last thing you gave up doing? *shrug* What was the last thing to boost your self-esteem? What sort of things typically make you feel good about yourself? It really, really helped to hear my PHP group enjoy my poem about gay rights so much. I was so terrified and did NOT want my therapist to share it, but it turned out being very beneficial. To answer the second question, it's pretty much stuff like I just mentioned: positive reactions to things I create. When it comes to food, do you prefer crunchy or softer textures? Definitely softer. Do you prefer savory or sweet things for breakfast? Hm. Depends on the day, ig. What is something small that you take extremely personally? I'm blanking. What was going on the last time you couldn’t sleep? I just... couldn't sleep. That's not rare for me. Have you drawn anything recently? I recently drew a picture of a still from Rammstein's "Mutter" music video, and I'm now working on Sara's 'kat Alucard. If you're going somewhere close by, do you walk? No. One simply does not walk in this town and not fear being shot. Do you prefer colorful notebooks over plain ones? I like colorful ones, particularly those with a nice pattern or something on it. What's your most ambitious goal? I'd consider wanting to be a successful freelance photographer to be rather ambitious. Do you know anyone named Alex? Well, knew, by this point. One of my closest online friends that just got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the planet when we used to talk every day. I'm still hurt about it, honestly. What's your favorite kind of pie? I don't like pie because of the crust being so, well... crusty and crumbly. Have you ever chatted someone up and scored a date? No. How far would you go with someone you just met? Not very far at all. All you're getting is a hug, if even that. What's your favorite meal to have for dinner? I mean, it depends on what I feel like having. I don't have a set favorite meal. What do you daydream about? The future, mostly. People I miss. Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes, Sara. <3 We met via YouTube back when it had much more social connection. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, a good number of times. When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? I don't believe I've been ill in any sort of way since I had that ungodly ear infection a few years ago. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, Colleen's house. Mom once tried kicking me out of the car one night otw home, but I didn't listen. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. How many siblings do your parents have? Mom has two brothers and I think one sister, and Dad has one sister. Who last held your hand? My niece or nephew, dragging me somewhere, haha. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? No, not interested. What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I'm watching John Wolfe's playthrough of Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. It's so funny how like... every let's player I watch doesn't enjoy the game, like they miss the incredible symbolism and shy away from the advanced language, and sometimes it's just frustrating to watch them; I only do because I enjoy the game and want to see more people experience it and relive it vicariously. It's very high on my list of favorite games. What sport do you find yourself best at? I wouldn't know; I haven't played any sports in years. I was pretty good at softball as a kid, though. Do you think makeup on guys is freaky or sexy? My opinion shouldn't matter; a man can wear makeup whenever he damn well pleases without worrying what others think. But anyway, I tend to find it attractive, especially if it's goth makeup. Have you ever been accused of a crime you did not commit? No. Do you like pickles? I love dill pickles. What was the craziest moment of your life? Probably just lying in that hospital bed following my OD, my mom and two best friends just sitting there with me. It was such a weird, weird feeling. Like I was just so done, frustrated beyond what I can say. I remember thinking it was almost funny, just how it all built up and went wrong. Where do you spend most of your time? In my room on my bed. What is your favorite muffin? Chocolate chip. Would you ever get a boob job? I already know when/if I lose the weight I want to, it will be kind of a big deal to me and my atrocious body image to get a breast lift. Being overweight ~does things~ you know, and god knows I want every trace of it that can be erased gone. Would you ever go on a reality TV dating show? That's a massive "no" from me, buddy. Would you rather be inside or outside? It depends on where I am and the temperature outside, but generally, inside. Do you like the current president? Well, I voted for him, so I can't shit-talk much. I don't know the true depths of him as a person and all he stands for, though; when I decided I needed to vote, I just did some research on his core values. I don't have any complaints yet, from what I've seen at least, which isn't a lot. Do you whiten your teeth? I've used whitening strips before, but I don't now because they're not that effective. If it's financially plausible at some point in my life, teeth whitening is another thing I want to have medically done because of my previous horrible self-care. My teeth have a clear yellow tint and I hate it. Do you get cold easily? No; it's actually the opposite: I get hot easily. What was the worst sickness you ever had? Probably this one stomach bug I had where I just threw up relentlessly. Like eventually barely even bile would come up; it was just dry heaving. My stomach muscles were in agony. Was your childhood wasted by something? No, thankfully. Would you rather die during an adventure or die like a normal person? A normal person. The idea of having such a sudden death stresses me out for multiple reasons; I mostly don't want my family to just be suddenly devastated, and I honestly want to come to peace with the fact I was dying. Like, find my life's own closure instead of just having it ripped away. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Jesus, I sure hope not. Do you have a gag reflex? A very strong one. Do you ever fantasize about trying drugs? I've wondered before what the effects of weed would be like for me, but "fantasize" is definitely the wrong word. Would you rather have sex before you’re married or wait till marriage? It'd be up to my partner, honestly, because I'm fine with either. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I never did dares because I thought they were stupid. Like I'm not gonna do dumb shit just to show you I can. Do you know anyone who has been raped? I think I might? Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Yeah. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones are just big and clunky and in the way when you use a laptop in bed, plus they irritate my skin. I like how earbuds actually go in your ears for more direct hearing. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? If I wanted children, no, because I don't think I'm capable to give a child like that adequate care, being so mentally ill myself. I wouldn't want to risk worsening their condition. Favorite thing to do with a significant other? Play games together, particularly cute multiplayer ones that are more about the experience of playing together versus getting past difficult obstacles and such. Like for example, one of my favorite memories with Jason is simply playing Little Big Planet together. Favorite ice cream topping? I don't like many toppings on my ice cream, but I do love melted hot fudge. First boyfriend/girlfriend’s name? Aaron. Do you support PETA? Considering they are incredibly self-righteous extremists, no. Do you believe in the Big Bang Theory? Well, I believe in some sort of "god" figure that created the universe, so I don't think so. A condensed ball of nothing exploding to create something so extravagant? It sounds pretty far-fetched to me. But then again, maybe that semblance of a "god" I believe in created the universe through that, idk. It doesn't really matter now, though, does it. What happened happened, I'm not very concerned with it. What insect can you not stand the site of? It's more so larvae that I can't stand the sight of, like maggots and stuff. They make me squirm. Do you like Doctor Who? I've only seen one or two episodes, so I can't say. Do you approve of gay marriage? Of course I do. I'm bisexual and would like to get married, so I might marry a woman. Are you into politics? I'm really not. Do you think the world is ending soon? Nah, even though it sure does feel like it sometimes. Ever been to a mosh pit? No, they don't seem very fun at all. Do you like to debate? NO. NO NO NO. Do you like the band System of a Down? Yeah, I do. Are you German? It's a big part of my heritage. Do your parents like your best friend? Yes. Who’s someone you can act your complete self around? Sara, 100%. She's the only person I feel entirely comfortable around when it comes to being myself. Do you believe in Friday the 13th? I don't believe in there being any supernatural power to it, no. Who is your favorite rapper? Eminem. What age is your youngest aunt? Uhhhh I have no idea. Do you like bowling? Sure, it's fun. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I do. What shows or characters scared you as a child? Ghostface from the Scream series was my worst fucking nightmare. I couldn't even see pictures of him without crying. The King Ramses guy from Courage the Cowardly Dog also gave me a number of nightmares. Something about the way he was animated was very unnatural and unnerving to me.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''castle of glass'' by linkin park

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bigfeelingsdyke · 4 years ago

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project blue book cpt. quinn in s1 pt.1

basically just some musings on captain quinn, under the cut bc it’s going to get long lol

okay i HAVE to talk about his emotional progression because i think it’s the strongest of the main 4 and i’m obsessed with how brilliantly subtle it is (michael malarkey i’m coming to kiss you on the lips.) Like, when we first meet quinn he comes across as the classic cocky, abrupt, military man (actually, it almost comes across as forceful- as in “can you tell i’m Acting” forceful imo, but maybe i just haven’t been around many military dudes alkdjfkl) but it becomes clear pretty quickly that this is more of a practiced persona- which is not to say his time in the air force hasn’t molded him in certain ways emotionally (more on that later)-and he’s not really this straightforward, blunt soldier. In fact, i think quinn is shown to be quite perceptive and good at reading people; the scene in the pilot when he and hynek are at the diner is maybe the best early instance of this- he feels confident enough to call hynek’s bluff but is completely sincere in his offer to fly them because he senses that it isn��t a total bluff (again i tip my hat to you mr. malarkey for communicating all of this with a Look.) Other moments that come to mind are quinn being able to tell something is up with hynek by the sound of his voice (over the telephone no less!), correctly intuiting that hynek was melting down because he couldn’t process lt. fuller’s death (and vocally empathizing), picking up multiple non-verbal cues and tics during his (initial) interrogation of rizzuto, and navigating the situation with the drugged platoon. All of this is not to say quinn can’t be insensitive or dismissive, because he frequently is (to both hynek and various Believers) but he’s the skeptic, so that’s kind of his job. I DO think it’s hilarious that despite quinn’s people-reading skills he can’t tell when hynek is lying to his face. Like, no way is hynek a convincing liar, quinn just has a crush on him LMAO.

Now about that “more on that later” re: how being in the air force for 10 years shaped quinn emotionally- Perhaps more so than anyone else on the show (including susie, a literal spy) quinn resolutely does not wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s not an emotional guy (outwardly anyways, dude spends enough time sulking at bars that its clear he’s in his Feels internally aldfls;fdkl.) Apparently a decade of military conditioning will do that to a person [insert grimacing emoji here]. Because of this, the one emotion quinn IS able to express is anger....which i know isn’t groundbreaking for the character type, but the intensity of quinn’s anger is so fascinating to me, especially because of it’s infrequency.....Like, quinn regularly gets annoyed/exasperated/frustrated but rarely really, truly angry- and when he does it’s....terrifying. Like, possessed-by-fury-incarnate levels. And i have to think this is an intentional choice on mm’s part, and i want to know what his thinking is behind it!! Personally, i read it as quinn having years of bottled up rage around the trauma he suffered running combat missions, which i think is supported by the fact that these moments of furious anger are almost exclusively directed at the generals- like he recognizes (subconsciously) that they, and by extension the air force, are responsible for his unresolved trauma. I think the scene when he confronts general harding about the trick interrogation illustrates this really clearly; it makes sense that quinn would be upset, feel angry and betrayed- but his reaction is SO frighteningly intense it reads like this particular situation is triggering something deeper that’s been building for much longer than one afternoon.

**On that note, i want to clarify re: his fight with hynek in “Abduction” that quinn isn’t angry (the intensity simply isn’t there, and i don’t think he would ever direct such deep-seated rage at allen, even unintentionally) he’s hurt.

Finally, i gotta talk about how quinn reacts to his encounter with the orbs, and his confrontation with deepthroat, in the season finale- specifically how deeply we see these events affect him emotionally. Even though up to this point he’s already had several “unexplained” experiences (including being fucking electrocuted inside his damn car by unseen forces and dealing with lingering electric currents in his body) quinn has seemed, in true skeptic fashion, to file these occurrences away as strange phenomena with some kind of scientific, terrestrial explanation (whether its in agreement with hynek’s assessment or not) and appears largely unbothered by them. But then we get his (very up close and personal) encounter with the orange orbs, and confrontation with hynek’s contact, and both leave him visibly shaken. And now i’m going to rave about mm’s acting again, because SERIOUSLY- the barely concealed fear in quinn’s eyes when facing down deepthroat like!! he has a steady hold on the gun in his hand but his glassy eyes betray how scared he really is- for himself and hynek (side note: i LOVED how protective he was of hynek in this scene, but more on that in part two...) As for quinn’s aerial encounter with the orbs, i think it was a great callback to lt. fuller’s experience in the pilot (which quinn dismissed as all but impossible, and then tried to prove it) because we got to see quinn go through nearly the same experience....and come out the other side a lot less sure about ufos than he was ten episodes ago (narrative and emotional full-circles are soooooo sexy omg<3) Also, his reaction (surprised, hurt) to hynek bullshitting to the generals was very telling- actually, it reminded me of the scene in the x files pilot where scully discovers the dirt under the comatose kids toenails and immediately freaks out because holy SHIT mulder was right the kid IS the culprit, and mulder, the Believer, has to remind her “okay, but you have to write it down in your report.” Like, quinn was so emotionally tripped up by his encounter that he got upset with hynek for telling the generals it was NOT aliens, when his entire MO has been to make sure hynek does exactly that ASDFGHJKL. I’m excited to see just how far down the rabbit hole quinn is actually gonna go in s2, or if he’ll pull back completely and go back to Super Skeptic Mode....

#hi this is what happens when i have no one to talk to about Current TV Fixation slkdfjlsdk #project blue book #mine #this was gonna be about the core 4 but i realized halfway thru i had a lot to say about quinn SLDKFLD #so i'll make a separate post about the other 3 lol #and about queer quinn #ANYWAYS ITS 3AM KLSDJKD HELP

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hisokas-long-toenails · 5 years ago

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HELLO✨✨ I hope this finds you well! If you’re doing requests atm, I wanted to ask: how would Hisoka, Illumi, Chrollo and Paristan react to their crush or interest trying to woo them first? Like the whole wine and dine thing, odd attempts at flirting or something? However you would woo them lmao is this a weird ask?!?! 😩 Please don’t answer if you don’t want to!! Thank you 💗🌚 I absolutely adore everything you’ve written 👀👌🏼

Sorry this took forever, I’ve been trying to hit the gym after work again. Aaaah, thank you so much. And thank you for including my beloved rat man. I assume you mean like “they already sort of like you, but how would one even TRY to woo them first in that context” First of all, as much as I love all of these characters, I feel so bad for you if any of these dudes had a crush on you. I don’t know what you did in life to deserve this misery but here we go. Hisoka: You know, there’s the obvious, “hey, wanna fight” but honestly he might/will probably end up killing you if that’s how you flirt. Then again, wanting to date Hisoka is basically admitting to having a death wish, in which case good job! You did it! But to like, date him date him? That’s tough. It’d probably have to involve inviting him to join you on some mission or adventure thats dangerous and promises a good time. Maybe it’ll involve a strong individual for him to fight, but we know it doesn’t have to. He did play a game of high stakes dodgeball just for the hell of it because he was bored and had time to kill. And you know what? He’d love being pursued. He might make it hard for you for the hell of it, but he doesn’t seem to have a lot of people on his side for very obvious reasons, and having a crush who just pops in sometimes with a “hey, wanna fuck some shit up? But like, romantically. As a date” would be a welcome presence to him. Illumi WILL 3rd wheel, and you WILL have to deal with/enjoy it because you’re in a triad now. You don’t have a say in it. It’s what Hisoka would want. Illumi: Okay, so Illumi is odd, right? If he had a crush on you I feel like he’d just… show up and be around when he was free. He probably wouldn’t even know why he was doing it. I’m not sure he’d initially even realize you were trying to woo him regardless of how you were doing it, if we’re being honest. I don’t think he really has an idea of what love or affection look like, hence the tendency to sort of loiter around you when not busy instead of flirting with you or trying to date. Because of this, I actually feel like you’d have to make the first move. This is all on you unless his parents were trying to arrange it. So, you’d ask him to dinner. He’d think it was just dinner. You’d ask him to go kill or fight someone. He’d think it was just work. You’d flirt and try to make physical contact with him to make your intentions clear and he’d wonder why you kept touching his arm (and get mad if you’re accidentally tickling him). You’d probably have to literally say “hey, I want you to help me train so that we know I’m a suitable romantic partner for you” and then I think he’d get it, and immediate start your torture training because he’s been meaning to tell you that your pain tolerance isn’t enough. I don’t think there’d be a true romancing stage to dating him, just a work partner or a romantic partner. He’d be elated, though, but have that same expressionless face that you’ll have to live with. Maybe you’ll get a very brief smile and I’m so sorry if you do because he’s terrifying when he expresses emotions on his face with those big dead empty ass eyes. Sometimes Hisoka will be there but probably less than Illumi would be there in the opposite situation. Hell, Hisoka might play a big part in helping you two get together. Who knows Illumi better?

Chrollo: You know, I actually think he’d be the easiest to try to woo. He’s clearly got some identity issues and sort of uses others to find and define himself. If he was already finding himself infatuated with you, you just have to try to give him a sense of purpose or help him question life. He’d probably like and understand the romantic intent behind dinner and a movie. He’d enjoying normal dating stuff way more than any of the others, even if I think his way of flirting back would be very different and probably involve a lot of weird stolen shit he likes. It’s as if he’s a crow or a magpie or something. But the way to actually flirt with him? Just talk about philosophy. It doesn’t even have to be that deep. Do you remember being a teen or young adult and desperately wanting to figure yourself, filling the void you felt with objects, and massively consuming ANYTHING about the meaning of life in an attempt to finding yourself. (no? Just me?) Well, that’s just his permanent state. The troupe gives him a lot of purpose but that’s still something he needs to constantly feed off of. You can throw out some quote about life from a book you’re reading (because being well read is sort of a requirement to get into his heart romantically, I think) and he’ll just fucking swoon. Read a YA novel, because I doubt those are on his “to read” list, and say some John Green ass shit about being alive and in love and he’s instantly going to be putty because that’s so far out of the realm of what he reads in literature. And yeah, he’d love the attention.

Pariston: Only partially related, but I sort of have this HC that Pariston could actually become (at least temporarily) infatuated with someone if they kept catching him off guard with self deprecating humor and actually enjoyed being roasted. Like, You’d get a backhanded compliment from him so you meet the insult with a laugh and saying something worse about yourself all while seeming completely unphased. I’m sure most hunters have some sort of ego and the lack of one might be a surprising and fun change. ANYWAY. I’m not sure Pariston would actually let someone pursue him. You might think that you’re going to wine and dine him, but he’s just pretending to play along. Dude has some control issues, to the point where even when he doesn’t care about something he’s going to mess with shit to see if he can. Add that into him actually kind of caring for you? Yikes. He’d like nice things, but if you tried to take him to a 5 star restaurant that he isn’t feeling that night, something bad will happen and you’ll end up where he wants to go. If he doesn’t like your attempt at a classy or sexy outfit that outfit will get ruined. He’d probably turn the whole thing around to look like prince charming by getting you something twice as nice, but he’ll probably also hold it over your head that he did so. He’d probably love the fact that someone was trying, though. Which obviously means he’d also be trying extra hard to make the whole thing bad, but quite frankly that’s just what you’re signing up for. You’d probably have to catch on to him and start playing his game to keep him interested, or at the very least react in ways he enjoys, or be interesting for other reasons than your ability to manipulate situations. If you somehow managed to get him on a date to some kinda cheesy themed restaurant (think rainforest cafe) he’ll be impressed and infuriated. He’d be plotting how to ruin the rest of your week, which would conveniently require him to spend all of his time with you and him giving you a lot of attention. You know, for a punishment.

#hxh #cupcakes thoughts #pariston #pariston hill #hisoka morow #hisoka #illumi zoldyck #illumi #hxh hc #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo #hxh ask

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gontagokuhara · 4 years ago

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Now that you’re a good way into the game, what are your thoughts on the Phantom Thieves so far?

OOOOOOOH OK OK

i could go on FOREVER abt these kids but i’ll just give like. a general-ish ranking for now. two caveats tho!

a) im not including goro or akira. despite knowing Quite A Lot about goro, its all secondhand and not lived yet. i could not definitively say whether i love him or hate him if i tried. also no akira bc hes Me. let it be known that i adore him and his design is mad sexy doe

b) i love ALL of the thieves. theres not a single one i dont adore. last place i still very much love!! but the others r just. big faves

ok rank time

makoto. my girl. the absolute TANK of my main party. has one of the more badass personas. i love love love her arc and her growth so far, and i just love her design!! i think she contrasts her sister very compellingly and i love the struggles she has to go through in turning from an unassuming, dilligent, almost subservient student into rebelling against authority she finds unjust in a way that is very Makoto. i fucking love her. my go-to to romance i think (along w hifumi but shhhh)

yusuke. he has not braincells but acrylic paint and homosexual thoughts rolling around in his head and i love him for it. he’s pretentious to the point its goofy and he takes both everything and nothing seriously BUT he also has a really compelling arc and he isn’t just comic relief fodder. he strikes a really good balance between being a valuable asset to the team and a more cautious voice of reason, while also being completely and utterly ridiculous to the point where i’m absolutely rolling whenever he’s around. that man is GAY he is TRANS and he has two pet lobsters named akira 2 and yusuke 2 that he makes kiss. king.

futaba. gonna be real i was TERRIFIED of being introduced to this character because i can just tell based on appearance what fandom incels and hentai addicts do to her. however she is INCREDIBLY compelling, her emotional beats hit HARD, and her relationships with sojiro and akira are just. super super good. i love the way her s-link is playing out thus far and i cant wait to get to know her more. people complain about her as navi being annoying but i dont get it?? she’s way less grating than morgana LMAO. in conclusion futaba queen i wuv you

ann. i feel like she gets left behind past kamoshida’s palace because we’re introduced to someone new each time, but i totally love ann! her relationship with shiho is really good, and im glad its not forgotten once her arc is done. she has fantastic chemistry with the whole group and shes just genuinely good. i have a soft spot bc she shares a va with kaede from dr<3, but i just. love ann. i want more forced interactions between her and akira bc their chemistry as friends is just SO good. stan ann for clear skin

haru. she is a SWEETIE and i love love love her. however i’ve barely unlocked her confidant and havent rly talked to her much outside of the okumura arc. she’s another stable member of my party and her persona FUCKS milady is so cool. she isnt Super fleshed out quite yet (but like. her dad literally did just die like 2 weeks ago in game we got time to grow) and i just love her!

ryuji. i LOOOOOVED ryuji in the first two palaces but he fucking SUCKS now the writers nerfed him HARD. misogyny isnt a cute personality trait, nor is only ever yelling all of your dialogue and arguing with people. the drop in quality from the first part of the game til now is staggering and it pisses me off because ryuji is SOOOOO good. he used to be a solid member of my party til i got haru but at this point ive made him backup out if spite. u all were not lying when u said this game treats ryuji like Shit. bring back gay respecter of women king ryuji 2020

morgana. hes just not as compelling as the other thieves. also how he acted during the okumura arc was so forced and contrived and OBNOXIOUS im still angry about it. hes fine normally and i know he isnt that bad before or after okumura but seriously. the contrived jealousy bullshit had me wanting to put down the game and not come back LMAO. hes only a stable member of my party bc ive spent all my time developing him into my stacked healer so<3 he stays i guess

#ask #p5 #connor plays p5 #p5 spoilers

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mattelektras · 6 years ago

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*kneels before the altar, giving offerings to the Queen of Marvel Criticism* miss jessie...... i know youve seen endgame. please give us ur thoughts. ur wisdom

you really shouldn’t encourage me to be a bitch because i WILL do it and it WILL go to my head but here we go

first of all. if i may. sam wilson i would give my life for you…… the flying in front of the gold portal things looking like the angel that he is. giving sam the shield really was the only smart thing steve did this entire movie

speaking of. like i KNOW steve can weird mjolnir in the comics. but that steve is a very different person and shitting all over thor this entire movie and then giving steve his signature weapon is…. just…. insulting like….. it really diminishes who and what thor is to just have this dude pick up his weapon and just KNOW how to use it despite never having any training with anything even SLIGHTLY similar. I’m picky in comics about who can wield mjolnir and ever moreso in the mcu. just don’t like it ladies

also steve conducting group therapy sessions??? this bitch is not qualified

carol just wasn’t in the fucking movie lmao like…. they wrote out both of their main women and were like. oh thank god the men can SPEAK for once

she just shows up when they need an easy out in the plot

the vormir thing…. it was a very nat thing to do. like she would sacrifice herself like that and it did give me a glimpse of comic nat for the first time since cap 2. but she shouldn’t have HAD to, of all the people she shouldn’t have been the one because putting her against clint who’s more important because he has a family or whatever now, never mind the fact that he’s been beheading people here and there for years, when she has nothing and has tried so hard to be better is like… we’re really just gonna throw that all away. even the weak version of nat that mcc nat is didn’t deserve that. and her memorial was shit

i literally cannot even physically comprehend what they did to thor. all i have to say is he’s still a real one because he knows valkyrie’s made to be king of asgard

peter curling up on the ground when the missiles came down like…. god. honey sweetie baby im sorry i was ever mean about a third spiderman movie saga. i was right but still im sorry

why was there sexy romance music playing when hulk met the ancient one like i straight up thought they were gonna fuck right there on the roof and i cannot explain the emotion that gave me

hulk in general im fucking TERRIFIED…. THEY JUST MADE RUFFALO’S HEAD LIKE…… FUCKIN MASSIVE and why does he dress like an instagram influencer

scott lang OUTSOLD. the only man with a brain int his movie

i dont like. CARE for mcu tony i think he’s over done but the mcu starting with ‘i am iron man’ and ending with it was a lot. i like comics tony a lot so it did give me a lil. emotion as it were. against my better judgement

RESCUEEEEEEEE…. AND ONLY 10 YEARS TOO LATE

tony’s kid was… adorable

it was the right time for tony to die, and the right death, i think. like i said i’ll be glad to not see rdj’s face anymore but it was a good death and rhodey and pepper being there and just kind of. KNOWING it was over for him was moving

some of you dumbasses really thought the girl with the bow and arrow was gonna be kate… i love you but please use your brains this is the mcu

time travel just doesn’t work for me in movies that dont REVOLVE around time travel. it just feels like a special episode of a cartoon, and its a huge excuse to cop out . and u just end up with plotholes coming out of your eyeballs

FUCK vision lives. he got the screen time he deserved

valkyrie got her pegasus…….ethereal

the women’s teamup at the end wasnt the moment it would have been if the mcu had given a fuck about their women from the start

and again, wendy’s moment would’ve been a moment if she was actually wanda

STEVE YOU DUMBASS BITCH none of his ending meshes with ANYTHING else he’s done in the entire series. and as much as i dont give a fuck about peggy, it messes with her too like. she moved on she had a family, they both made peace with their ending. but everyone working on the movie obviously decided that the last 10 years isn’t really relevant and fuck sharon carter i suppose. let’s go w the most boring bitch alive

“the lgbt character won’t be who you expect!!!!” do you think im a moron?????? as if i expected anything other than an unnamed character who just vaguely referenced dating a man. i will not be clowned this time nor ever again

was there….a little hint of carol/rhodey perhaps……. dont care for the ship in comics but i like mcu carol and god i want good things for rhodey

and speaking of. i would’ve preferred to have seen tony’s kid to have a moment with rhodey in the end instead of the other dude like. you’re telling me rhodey isn’t that kid’s godfather???? that pepper and rhodey aren’t gonna be the best platonic parenting duo since the dawn of time???

the thanos plot was dumb ass hell like. it relied ENTIRELY on him lucking out and finding nebula. that’s not a good big bad plot because he doesnt actually DO shit

nebula is never gonna get the respect she deserves for what she did in this movie

tldr this all sounds very mean but it was definitely better than i thought it was gonna be. and better than the first half. were were some references back to the last 10 years that were really nice, and as much as i do criticise the mcu, its TEN years of my life so the callbacks were nice. they just… should’ve spent less time on them and more time on a plot and endings for their characters that make sense

#endgame spoilers #anonymous #q & a

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yesmyblogismeanttobeaneyesore · 7 years ago

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6x14 Face-to-Faceless

So I'm catching up with Teen Wolf after missing some episodes, and this is 6x14 and literally Scott is ridiculous. He wants to "make peace" with Gerard....that is ridiculous. He seems the only one not down for murder, stupid true alpha-ness. I mean Liam would kill Gerard, Chris would kill Gerard, literally anyone would kill him. Nolan and Gabe are hot....Coach doesn't even know the team anymore, but man Nolan is just a scared little kid tbh. Liam needs to stay calm tho, but he worked well under pressure just then. GERARD CAN SUCK A COCK. Man Nolan looks so nice in all black....MONROE CAN SUCK A COCK TOO AND A LITTLE TWO FACED BITCHASS. "Lots of issues" "Big issues" me too Liam.....MONROE SHUT THE FUCK UP.....oh my goodness my baby stay calm Liam....he's so sexy like this, ooooooo yes....Liam is doing so good rn, I love him, new little pack leader, kind of? MAMA MCCALL AND CHRIS YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH BOOOOOIIIIIII......"genocide" LITERALLY GERARD IS A LITTLE BITCHASS TOO....he's a Nazi.......MAMA MCCALL FUCK IT UP YES.......ooooo Scott hottie.....he has glown in season 6..... Commercial break got me thinking, Nolan really doesn't want to do this it seems, he seems like he is only doing it to survive....like if you aren't with them, you're against them OH NO POOR BABY PARRISH HE IS SO SCARED I WANT TO GIVE ME A HUG AND PROTECT HIM....aw poor baby, I love him so much, and he is so scared..... LYDIA LOOKING HOT AS HELL OOOO BADASS BIH YES FUCK IT UP......Monroe is so stupid and fuck her she is a shitty guidance counselor.....Monroe is so scared of a girl who can predict death, BECAUSE SHE TOUCHED HER LITERALLY IM DEAD..... MALIA CARES SO MUCH ABOUT SCOTT LIKE AHHHHH MY HEART.....she hasn't ever felt like this, and yes I remember stiles..... Mason "I am never asking for guidance again"....are they talking AP biology?? Melissa and Sheriff and Parrish, they know something's up, and they are just hoping they're crazy sometimes, well maybe not Parrish but definitely Melissa and Sheriff... FUCK MONROE, MY BABY IS IN DANGER, SCOTT LITTLE ANGEL TRUE ALPHA BABY....honestly all of them are my babies, I love them all....some more than others but whatever lmao... HOLY SHIT MASON IS SO AWKWARD....wait no one can see Corey that's why....oh no....my heart is racing..... FUCK GERARD SOMEONE KILL THIS MAN ALREADY OR WHY CAN'T HE HAVE A HEARTATTACK?!? MONROE?!? REALLY?! MONROE IS A BITCH WHY DO THEY WANT THEM DEAD?!? FUCK. AND LITERALLY HE KNOWS EVERYTHING HE DATED A HUNTER!!! oh man she encountered the beast...okay that is fair that she is terrified, and wants them dead, I guess.....I can see why she is so angry....I would be angry too.....badass babes I love them.... Commercial break: why can't they just somehow prove to Monroe that the beast is dead?!? WAIT GERARD KNOWS THAT THE BEAST IS DEAD AND THAT THEY KILL BAD WEREWOLVES!!! WHY DOESNT ANYONE JUST KILL GERARD?!? WHY DOES SCOTT WANT TO GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE?!? Parrish is so cute, I love him. BABY LIAM....Nolan so commanding....Gabe is hot.... MALIA OMG.....oh no this fucking thing.... LIAM BABY....yes just take it.....Nolan and Gabe omg....this is wildin, I'm so like wow right now, this season is so wild, but like I'm enjoying it....until another one of THE CHARACTERS I LOVE DIES WHEN THEY DID NOT DESERVE IT!!! I miss Isaac, I feel like him and Liam would be very close and would help each other learn new ways to control their anger.... MY BABIES OH NO.....oh wait it's the hottie, literally lmao I love Parrish...... COACH THE SAVIOR!!! He knows about the supernatural, he has to........ Okay but Parrish is so hot, I love him, and Scott is so willing to try to save everyone....ugh..... Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh I'm all sorts of emotional rn....GERARD TELL HER THE TRUTH YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! ambitious tho, she wanted to kill Scott first..... This is no bueno..... Commercial break: in the kingsman commercial you can tell that some don't have glass in their frames, lmao.... Okay so this was wild and I feel like I need to take a break from teen wolf for a while to collect myself....I need to catch up on my episodes tho before Sunday, but this was just so intense. I'm gonna rewatch some of the old after after shows now, and some of the new ones I have missed.....I need a break from the intense, last season of Teen Wolf because what the fuck.

#teen wolf #teen wolf 6x14 #tw 6x14 #face to faceless #hope you guys enjoy #liam dunbar #jordan parrish #scott mccall #lydia martin #malia tate #malia hale #nolan holloway #coach finstock #chris argent #melissa mccall #sheriff stilinski #noah stilinski #gerard argent

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persianflaw · 8 years ago

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💖💦👅

(note: i got this, i guess two days ago. i was going to answer it promptly but then i started writing about jack/hannibal and. this happened. i’m not even remotely sorry for stretching dashes, read it all. love it. love them. join my ship.)

💖 (ship that needs more love): JACK/HANNIBALJACK/HANNIBALJACK/HANNIBAL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT JACK/HANNIBAL

okay but actually. this ship is CRIMINALLY underappreciated. i’m using gifs for this one cuz it’s so serious.

jack is canonically the character who enjoys and appreciates high culture things like good food + music + clothes the most, next to hannibal. he has fancy man tastes and he and hannibal canonically bond over it. there’s this really fun gifset of lawrence fishburne and mads mikkelsen from some con interview where mads brings up the fact that jack is the only person who is ever super expressive and appreciative of hannibal’s cooking. he really loves it and he says so, and hannibal loves that.

for the first two seasons hannibal says that he does consider jack a very close friend, probably his closest next to alana (will is in a different category entirely lol). he cooks for jack often, they have a lot in common, they’re on the same intellectual level, and they have a lot of respect for each other - hannibal does genuinely like jack a lot, and he does want to maintain their friendship for as long as he can.

in season 2 jack goes to hannibal a lot for help with cases, but maybe more for comfort and reassurance that he didn’t do the wrong thing with will. and hannibal provides it! i don’t think i have gifs for it, but the scene in hassun where jack and hannibal have gone back to hannibal’s office and jack talks about bella is a really vulnerable moment for him. he isn’t necessarily about to cry but his eyes are shiny, and his one line about talking bella back to italy is “we could - she could die there”. it’s not really touched on further than that but it’s implied that at least at this very, very low point, jack is planning to die with bella because he feels he has failed so catastrophically that he won’t have anything else to live for after her. he can at least find redemption in death, or maybe just peace. (which ends up being a nice parallel to bella’s lines in takiawase about death and surrender) and hannibal is there for him in the exact way that he needs.

they’re also increasingly physically close in the first half of s2 (i wish i had more/bigger gifs at hand for the beginning of mukozuke bc that scene is so intimate, with hannibal in abigail’s his red sweater):

(both of these gifs are from this set by sungl0ry) obviously the second one isn’t for the same reason lolol but this scene in mukozuke still gave me a feeling. actually i just made the connection that jack is probably terrified of losing another friend after what happened at the beginning of the episode so he rushes the fuck in even tho brown has a gun (it might be textual, i haven’t watched it in ages). also hannibal incoherently shouting ZHACKHAJDADFNAKGUN is still hilarious.

and oh, mizumono. my favorite episode of the series. the moment when jack comes into the kitchen. ;A;

the whole back half of season 2 he’s working with will, they’re coming up with the plan, but he still wants to believe that hannibal isn’t the ripper. he doesn’t want to believe that he was blind this whole time, that he got so close to someone who maimed his student and murdered his co-worker and framed his, almost his charge in a way (bc jack does feel responsible for will; even if he does a lot of things that aren’t necessarily in will’s best interests, he does it bc he thinks it will do a lot of good without doing will too much harm, and he promises alana that he’ll keep will safe. but this is another ship for another post lolol) and killed a whole fucking lot of other people. someone who stood by him while his wife got sicker, when she went to the hospital.

(and hannibal is having his own mirrored emotional journey, probably more muted bc of who he is as a person (and bc will has become so very central in his life), but where he does really like jack a lot and still maintains a hope that there’s a way for him to keep this friendship.)

but jack also doesn’t want to believe that someone he really, really likes and trusts and has strong respect for could have done these things. and imo he’s holding onto some last scrap of blind hope until he steps into the kitchen and sees hannibal, and sees him clearly for the first time ever.

(gifs from here)

and, you know, they have this kickass fight and hannibal almost kills him. salting the wound a little bit.

i haven’t watched s3 as many times so i can’t really speak to the emotional underpinnings as much, but the fight in the museum in contorno oh my goddddddddd

there’s a really great meta lupushominum wrote (here) about hannibal expressing pain, and how he takes it with very little expression in almost every situation except for this fight, where he flinches and grimaces and shows pain:

It could also be that he ALLOWS Jack to see his pain. He grants him that gift while he denies it Mason and Cordell.

imo this is the best interpretation of the scene and it falls in line with how hannibal is characterized as a whole and wrt his relationship with/feelings about jack. i might take it a little further, even- he knows bella died, he knows obviously that jack is feeling hugely betrayed and really alone. he definitely doesn’t lose the fight deliberately but he does show his pain, something he doesn’t do in the fight they had in mizumono, bc he respects jack that much and bc he knows jack needs this

and this moment. this moment right here.

(gifs)

and then he kicks hannibal out the window and it’s beautiful and cathartic and i love jack and i love this ship and i’m probably going to rewatch the show now ok bye

💦 (ship that is taboo): WELL. after that everything else is going to seem short lmao. i’ll stick with the hannibal theme and go with abigail/alana.

(basically i ship abigail with every woman on the show) we don’t get that much of them, but i like the mildly combative dynamic they have, at least on abigail’s part. for all she talks to hannibal and will about not trying to be abigail’s everything, alana is one more in a string of people trying to impress her own ideas onto abigail and care for her in the way alana thinks is best- she buys abigail clothes she might wear, she brings her music that she likes, she reads one of her favorite books to her while she’s in the hospital in amuse-bouche. it’s done on pure instinct, but abigail sees it and she hates it because she’s tired of people trying to mold her.

i like a few variants on this as far as potential dynamics. i really like the idea of a slight twist where abigail latches onto alana as a replacement almost-mother figure counterpart to hannibal, as an extension of the “what do you see?” “family” drug scene in oeuf, but not quite. she sees alana as this combination of utterly non-threatening adult, kind-of-mom-replacement, stable figure, and oh hey she’s also really pretty. so she ends up with these weird conflicted feelings, and she really wants to be with alana in a way that is definitely not healthy and probably a little oedipal in a lesbian way, but she’s also terrified at the idea of losing her newfound stable footing, so she goes into survival manipulation mode and comes on to alana. and alana has this huge fucking internal crisis because she can’t reconcile her semi-maternal feelings and her very non-maternal feelings, and this is so unethical oh god D: but she starts rationalizing it like “i can’t turn her down, this could hurt her recovery, she’s in a delicate emotional place, this is probably her first relationship, i can give her a positive experience”

i can’t decide if i like alana going immediately and then having her crisis or rejecting her gently at first and then backsliding, which is almost worse. actually, jk it’s definitely the second one. rejection -> crisis -> rationalizing -> gives in

oh shiiit wait, alana gently rejects her, leaves the situation -> abigail reads her internal conflict and is like hmmmm -> alana freaks out and has her ethical crisis -> alana starts rationalizing -> abigail shows up again and gives a revised, super manipulative pitch -> alana gives in -> everything is a Huge Mess

literally as i write this, i’m imagining this scenario where alana has abigail visit her house semi-reguarly to give her a break from the hospital, one night she gets permission to have abigail sleep over, she gets abigail set up in her guest room (which alana has definitely set up with stuff from her own teenage years bc #projection), abigail goes in for a kiss, alana is like WOAH GIRL and lets her down gently but it takes her a second and abigail sees the crack. alana goes back to her room, gets in bed and turns off the light so she can freak out + begin to rationalize, and abigail sneaks into her room and crawls into bed like “but alana :’(” and Then

i’m. really amused that i thought this was going to be shorter. well it still is, but it’s still way the fuck too long for an ask meme. this next one is going to be reasonable i swear

👅 (ship that you find most sexy): me/bedelia rawing me in a manipulative and ethically questionable way and possibly killing me is the ultimate otp

#ask #anon #controversial shipping meme #hannibal x jack #abigail x alana #absolute clarity #alanagail #i forgot how loquacious i get when faced with any opportunity to talk about hannibal #long post

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theloveshackchronicles-blog · 7 years ago

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Baby #2... Terrifying?

As I mentioned in my first blog about depression and anxiety, a village raised my first born, Madden. We had so much help! Both grandma's were on board. My brother and sister were on top of it as far as being there for him when I had to work late hours or what have you. And for 6 years of his life, that's the way it's always been. No one ever complained or gave me a hard time about needing help because Madden is honestly the most easy going and chill kid to have as company. I never had to worry about leaving him with my family because they just adored him so much and everyone who loved me knew I was hustling. I rarely hung out or did things on the days I had my son unless it was work.

Our custody agreement was LIT! I would have Madden from Wednesday to Saturday at 5. So for a few years, I had the weekend off from being a mom in a way. If I wasn't working a weekend, I was out! I became really close with a family who welcomed me as their own. We lost touch over the years but I will never forget them. We partied every Saturday night! We took river trips in the summer and literally had adventures every chance we could. It was so dope that I could still enjoy my life although I was a mom. Everyone made it seem like your life would be over once you had a kid but divorce and custody didn't mark that as true for my situation. If I was dating someone or "talking" to someone, they knew that wed-sat was off limits. Don't ask to see me. Don't ask to meet my son. You can't even come into my apartment. Because the man of that place is my son. For the most part, they respected that because.... um how can you not?

Madden and mommy....my sidekick... my protector...my FRED! I swore I couldn't share that love with anyone else. Madden molded me into the woman I am. He and I grew together and made life discoveries together. Him and I have an amazing bond. People feel it right away when they are near us. He's truly the better part of who I am. The best part!!

Time passes, I move back home with my mom. I had major goals to reach starting the winter of 2015. That is when I started therapy and shaved all my fucking hair off like a lunatic. I had big plans to turn over a new leaf and my mother was so cool about me coming back. She wanted me to save all my chickens and get me enrolled in a first time homebuyer program. She also encouraged me to get back into school (sounded good but we all know I hate school so suck it lol) I was feeling on top of the world and my new platinum buzz cut made me feel like a super human. People would just stare at me...ALL...THE...TIME.

A little while after the New Year, 2016 is when I rekindled my relationship with my now Fiancé, Justin. We had been together for 3 years prior to our reconnection. Broke up for 3 and then out of literally NOWHERE... I get a private message from him. I won't write what he said verbatim because I like some memories of us to be private. But lets just say my heart dropped to the ground. I thought he had forgotten about me. We were so amazing together the first time around but a lot of circumstances surrounding us weren't very ideal. We would find ourselves fighting constantly. Then family issues got out of hand so I was like "I am done, I need to focus on me and my son" and for 3 years we left each other alone.

After reading his message, I thought "why not?" After the first time we hung out, all we wanted to do was see each other. We quickly connected as if no time had passed. Plus, I started seeing such amazing growth in him that was so attractive. I fell in love all over again. He encouraged me to start photography as a hobby. So I did and thank him for pushing me because my camera is so special to us now. JC... back at it!!!

In April, I go on a Miami trip with my mom and sister for my mothers 60th Birthday! I was suchhhhhh a bitchhhhhhh on that vacation. I couldn't eat. Well let me rephrase. I couldn't eat meat! The smell, the texture, the preparation would make me soooooooo fucking sick! My mom made me a sandwich with ham and I almost cut her face off. I would get dizzy spells and needed to throw up every hour. Welp...... that was the start of my parasite, Baby Ace lmao!! I thought maybe I had gotten food poisoning or maybe the big yellow python I had around my neck earlier gave me some snake flu? Fuck, I didn't know what was up.

From April to December when Ace was born, I was the worst person to be around. I cut off my best friend in the entire world because I felt she hated me pregnant, I stayed in my home the entire time because I was always so sick and embarrassed from puking in public. I was so paranoid and thought my family was mad that I was going to have another baby and felt like they all thought it was too soon. It was ALL in my head because everyone was so cool about it. It was me who had this guilty feeling like why would I do this again? Especially after having such a calm pregnancy with Madden to this fucking horror scene every day? Ughhhhhh... my skin was gross, my hair looked like a chia pet and I didn't feel sexy or pretty anymore. This time around was horrible. It made Justin and I dislike each other very much for a while. But I couldn't help it. I was panicking. (We also had to endure a lot of BULLSHIT while I was pregnant and even some time after the baby was born BUT I will not get into that.... I am still very upset about it) Let's just say... FAMILY can be CRUEL!! That's all I can say. CRUEL!

Annnnyway!!!! I had a lot of worry and for good reason. Worry plus hormones... you do the math! I was not ok. Justin and I busted ass to prepare for our boy. We didn't want a baby shower because we literally started buying shit the day we found out. Target was at our doorstep every day for about 3 months. Like I said earlier, I felt like everyone was against us so I didn't want to inconvenience anyone by making them buy me a gift and come to my baby shower. We had it covered. But we were convinced to have one against our wishes and then left to plan it ourselves. (rolls eyes... exactly what we wanted to avoid) but we did it and glad we did because we got to see close past friends we hadn't seen in a while and even some family came by to show love and support which is ALWAYS WONDERFUL. Our theme was "Let Love Grow" We had started our garden that summer as a trial run for the large one we had planned for the Spring after Ace was born. We had big plans to plant, grow and make our own baby food. So Let Love Grow was perfect! We gave out little cacti and succulents as Thank You favors. I thought it was so cute! Some of our friends still have those cacti. I am proud of those who kept them alive because I am no good at keeping plants alive. Good for you guys!!!

I "nested" for monthhhs lol! My nerves for starting over again were insane!!! I felt like I was new at this. It had been almost 8 years since having a baby. All the baby items changed. Everything that was once safe in 2009 is now banned and no longer safe or proper for a child. I couldn't just get back on the bike. There was a whole new parenting curriculum to adhere to and I was not prepared. I just didn't want to fail. I wanted to do everything right. I wanted to give my all. I wanted to have all my bases covered. And drove myself crazy trying to get there. I still ain't there. In fact, parenting comes and goes day by day. Yes, being a new mother was terrifying but after I realized that I cannot control everything that happens and decided to let the universe guide me, I was able to relax. Justin is one hell of a father too. He is always there. He is always coming up with ways to make things easier for us. And Ace is obsessed with dada.

Unlike parenting Madden, I am with Ace all the time. We as a family are with each other all the time. There is nothing more fulfilling than having my boys with me and being the mom I am to them. I love making my home comfy and warm for my loves. I LOVE being their mommy and I LOVE being a wife.

My life is far from over. I thank God because I feel like it has just begun.

If you're childless and wondering if you should have a kid. Think about where you're at mentally. Not age wise. Don't put a time clock on it. Be realistic with who YOU are. If you're still in your selfish stage, don't have a kid. It will be a burden to you if you can't balance out your personal life and your home life.(they're two totally different things so always remember that)

If you're pregnant for the first time and scared, I promise you...it's ok! Your little human was made FOR YOU! There is nothing that kid can do that you aren't designed to handle, baby!

And if your destiny doesn't include kids, that's fine too! I know it plays with your heart when you see all these pregnant friends and celebs on your social media accounts. I swear, after I had baby number two is when the baby boom took offfffff! I didn't think people wanted to raise kids in this nasty world but boy was I wrong. I SEE PREGO'S everywhere lol! Congrats to any expecting moms or dads who are reading this by the way!!! But if your world is ok without kids, that doesn't make you less of a woman. It doesn't make you cold or selfish. Its all good to not want kids. I'm sure there are some kids in your world who love you and cant wait for your visits. Trust me, you matter to some kid out there! You will have an impact on our future. Just in a different way. That's all.

Baby boy turns 1 on the 22nd and his birthday party is tomorrow. I am so emotional because this year flew by for me. Daddy doesn't think so but I feel like I was just pregnant and miserable yesterday. I feel as though my little boy shot up before my very eyes. He has a smile full of teeth. He walks like a champ and even tries to talk to us. Its going too quickly for my little heart to catch up. I will be a wreck tomorrow because this year has been a mix of such scary, loving, exciting, stressful and eye opening experiences I have ever had!!! I have changed so much. My life is soooo different now and I just thank God for giving me another chance.

To Madden and Ace,

I promise to be your guiding star and your soft spot to land when times are great and when times are not so great. I promise to love you for all that you are and for all that you will be. You boys are the highlight of all my days and the constant dream in all my nights. You're both so special to me and I thank you for saving me. I thank God for picking me for you two. I love you boys more than life itself. I love you guys more than there are stars in the galaxy. I love your smiles and your laughter. I love how silly you both are because I KNOW I AM YOUR MOMMY when you do weird shit. I love when you hear music and start to dance. I love when you don't feel so well and look for me and my love more than usual. I love your eyes, your skin and your hair. Your smell! Gosh, motherhood is the most special thing I can call mine!

-it's SCARY but it's WORTH IT

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