#dunno exactly what it is but i hope it's not depression

[theunknownintrowert]

in my annual 'christmas mood came in september' phase and this one is soooo good 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

[hooved]

i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW

[defiant-firefly]

In terms of what I've been up to lately, I'm planning on massively overhauling my bedroom (I still live with my parents and with the way the economy is going, I seriously doubt that's gonna change any time soon) because these meds have made me more aware of just how badly I need a space that suits me. I have big ideas, and hopefully this treatment stuff will help me realise them, even if it takes for fucking ever. Like, the skills I'd need to learn for this would be quite numerous I would say so yeah it's a difficult project, but a big one I can gradually work on over time with other stuff I wanna do so maybe I'll get somewhere with it. Literally, after we moved here years ago, we put wall paper on one wall and I had plans to paint the rest of the room but I did one wall, and an unfinished pegasus onto it and we did nothing else to it. Same with the rest of the house honesly. Only room that got finished was the paint in the kitchen. After all this time, the exact same off-white walls everywhere and the grey carpets have kinda killed it for all of us I think, but now that I have an actual emotional requirement for a room that's comfy, cosy, and very much me, I'm gonna see if I can change that.

Dad also says if I actually go ahead with my little dream project of putting a train track high up on the wall that goes all around the room, and it actually looks good (cause I don't do things by halves okay I will take the idea and run marathons with it), he'll let me put another one in the living room themed on the ocean. It pissed mum off because it's not something you're supposed to have in a living room, and she doesn't want any guests assuming the worst, but she's wrong. An ocean themed model railway around the room would be unique, interesting, fun, and loved by everyone worth the time of day, in my humble, totally unbiased opinion.

Speaking of mum, she's gained an interest in making the garden look nice. We were gonna work on a pond and stuff together but she's kinda just doing her own thing so I'm gonna get a bunch of Diglett and Dugtrio garden ornaments and gradually hide them around the place until she notices. She won't stop me! She's used to my shit! But I'm wondering how much I can get away with before she notices the Diglett takeover lmao

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve got the tattoo the day they held the very small, very secret service for Eddie.

He knew he had to get it somewhere hidden, didn’t wanna answer questions, not even from Robin.

The E+S on his upper thigh was precious to him, all he had left of the promises they made to each other as children and again as teenagers.

Eddie was Steve’s, even if he wasn’t here, and Steve would always be Eddie’s, even if Eddie no longer knew.

But eventually, the end of summer came, and the kids wanted to have something normal. Normal for them was a pool party that ended in a sleepover, and Steve didn’t have much choice about making it happen.

He wanted them to have something normal.

So he got his bathing suit on, forgetting the tattoo was in a spot that might show in it, and tried to have fun with them.

Robin noticed and then Max noticed, and once he’d tried getting out of the explanation twice in a row, Dustin and Will noticed.

So he just explained that he lost a dare with Tommy years ago and that got them to stop asking.

But he found himself crying in the shower that evening, trying his best not to make any noise as sobs wracked his body and it got harder and harder to breathe.

The only thing that snapped him out of it was the knowledge that Eddie would want him to go back downstairs to be with the kids. He wouldn’t want to see Steve like this.

He kissed his fingertips and pressed them to his tattoo, just like he’d done every single day since he got it.

And then he went downstairs to be with the kids.

His one rule during sleepovers at his house was he still go to sleep in his own bed. Sometimes Robin would join him, but most of the time, he slept alone.

He couldn’t sleep.

He could feel the exhaustion deep in his bones, but every time he closed his eyes and tried to drift, he’d get an overwhelming feeling of being watched.

His eyes would open and he’d look around, confused and frustrated.

And nothing would be there.

Which was good, great even. He didn’t want there to be anyone or anything there. But he did want an explanation for this feeling.

He sat up in his bed and sighed.

Maybe he could-

Something was definitely in his bathroom. The door had been closed earlier, like it always was, and now it was halfway open.

The light was off.

Steve stood from his bed silently, crept to the bathroom with his nail bat raised, and considered what would happen if he died up here.

“That’s a depressing thought even for your melodramatics, sweetheart.���

Steve barely resisted screaming at Eddie’s voice.

“Oh god. I’ve finally fuckin’ lost it,” he said as he turned the bathroom light on.

“I dunno. You still got it, baby. Even if you lost some weight in your ass.”

Eddie, or something that looked and talked like Eddie, was sitting on the sink in the bathroom.

“I did like those little swim trunks, though. Hope you wear those again for me.”

“What the fuck.”

“You know, that’s exactly what I said when I woke up alive. Kinda thought I was dying. Imagine my surprise when I didn’t.”

Steve held his bat tighter.

“Eddie? How?”

Eddie hopped off the sink and stepped closer, slowly, so he wouldn’t scare Steve.

“Not sure. But it’s not the craziest thing that’s happened.” Eddie wanted to touch him, Steve could tell. His hands were clenching into fists to resist. “I know I’m not human, but I’m close enough, I think.”

“Close enough for what?”

“To love you.”

Steve dropped the bat and fell against Eddie, burying his face in his neck and breathing him in, not caring about the dirt or sweat or grime clinging to his skin.

It was Eddie, and he’d take him any way he could have him.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’ve been trying to get back here for so long.” Eddie’s arms held him tight enough to bruise. “Won’t happen again, won’t leave you again.”

Steve’s sobs were loud, but trying to contain them physically pained him. He’d been in enough pain for months. He had to let these out.

He felt Eddie waving his hands behind him, but then heard Robin’s rambling and decided to turn.

“-and he’s been distraught for months but didn’t tell me anything and then I saw his tattoo earlier and I thought, well, must just be a joke you guys had. And then I was like, no, can’t be, because you barely spoke. Or at least I thought you did. Clearly I’m wrong. I’m super wrong. Wrongest I’ve ever been maybe.”

“Robs.” Steve’s choked voice silenced her. “You know how I told you to go for it with Nancy because I really didn’t have feelings for her?”

“I don’t see how this is relevant, but yeah.”

“She protected me, both of us, really, so we could be together. Offered to pretend to date me so no one would get suspicious.”

“Steve. Steve Harrington. You had a beard?”

Eddie snorted. “I know you said she was funny, but I’m pretty she’s my second favorite human now.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I’ve been with Eddie for forever. I mean, since we were kids practically.”

Robin was silent. A rare thing for her.

“Robin?”

“Sorry, just taking this in.”

“Yeah, Eddie being alive is a lot-“

“Not that. That is gonna come a lot later once I stop and think about the fact that he’s some kind of zombie.” Robin leaned against the doorway. “The fact that I came out to my best friend and he didn’t return the favor. That is queer code, Steve.”

Eddie laughed, and Steve let out another sob. He’d missed him so much, missed his laugh, his arms around him, his heartbeat-

“Eds. Eddie.” Steve lifted his head and pressed both hands to his chest. “You-“

“Ah. So I don’t seem to have a heartbeat anymore. As far as I can tell, I did actually die.” Eddie shrugged as if this news wasn’t absolutely insane. “So my best guess is vampire since I prefer blood to brains. But I can get by without it for a pretty long time.”

“How long?”

“Well, I haven’t had any since the day I woke up. Which is a few months according to your calendar.”

Robin held her hands up. “I’m going. Good luck. The kids are gonna flip.”

“Do not tell them. Not yet.”

Steve needed tonight, needed to have Eddie to himself before everyone else stole it for a while. He wanted to be selfish for the first time in a very long time. He knew Robin would understand.

“Sure thing. But you’re gonna have to be quiet. You’re lucky none of them heard you crying.”

Steve nodded and curled back into Eddie, placing a kiss against his neck.

“Glad you’re back Eddie,” she said as she left.

“I need a shower,” Eddie said. “Think it’ll wake the kids?”

“Nah. They slept through a tree falling in the yard last month during a storm. Just need to be quick,” Steve pulled away to start grabbing what he’d need for a shower, but Eddie pulled him back on, running his nose along his neck and sending chills down his spine.

“You wanna join me?” He asked.

“Of course I do. But we won’t be quick if I join you,” Steve smiled.

A real smile. One he realized he hadn’t had on his face since spring break.

“You wanna wait in bed for me, then?” Eddie beamed back at him.

“Can I stay in here? I don’t-“ Steve sighed. “I don’t wanna leave you.”

Eddie’s smile softened into something endeared. “Yeah, sweetheart. You can stay. Talk to me. Tell me what I missed.”

Steve told him about everything he could while he showered away the Upside Down grime, watching his shadow behind the glass door of the shower to make sure it never disappeared.

They made sure the bedroom door was locked before crawling into bed together, Steve laying on top of Eddie like he always did before.

He was heavier, but Eddie never cared.

Steve slept so long, Eddie had no choice but to go downstairs in the morning so no one would wake him up.

The chaos that ensued was nothing short of overwhelming, but Eddie didn’t mind.

He was happy to back with all the kids, even if they asked incredibly inappropriate questions about his body to find out what he was.

When Steve finally came down, he was still half asleep and barely registered the open-mouth stares of everyone as he came up to Eddie and rested his head on his chest, wrapped his arms around his waist.

Eddie smiled down at him and kissed the top of his head.

“Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning, baby.”

“Sunshine?!” Dustin yelled.

“Baby?!” Mike yelled louder.

“Make them go away,” Steve sighed against his neck.

“You don’t wanna explain?” Eddie asked him, half joking.

“Not today. Scare them or something.”

“You think Eddie can scare us? We’ve all almost died!” Lucas said.

“Fine. Eddie and I are together, have been forever. The tattoo on me is our initials. Get out of my house.”

The kids just stared at them in silence until Steve finally turned from Eddie and put his hands on his hips.

“I wasn’t asking. Get out.”

The kids scrambled to leave, making promises (threats) to come back soon.

Robin waved as she walked out with them, throwing them both a wink and knowing smile.

“So how long do you think we have until they come back?” Eddie asked, rocking them back and forth gently.

“Few hours maybe.”

“I can do a lot in a few hours,” Eddie nipped at Steve’s ear, making him shiver and laugh.

“You got super strength with your new life?” Steve grinned at him.

“I wouldn’t call it super, but I could definitely carry you back to bed.”

Steve jumped up and wrapped his legs around Eddie’s waist, arms around his neck.

“Carry me to bed, then, Eds.”

“Anything your heart desires, Stevie.”

[the-traveling-poet]

House-Husband’s Love

When life becomes too overwhelming, maybe even simultaneously underwhelming at times, sometimes you just need a break. Just a day off to lay around and do nothing; give your brain a chance to calm down and reset. With Levi as your partner, you can bet he would be the one to ensure you got your breaks. And some attention, of course.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x gn!Reader (relationship isn’t specified, so imagine how you prefer!)

Warnings: SFW, hurt-to-comfort kinda, themes of depression/disassociation/sensory overload, fluff ending

A/N: Needing some modern!househusband!Levi rn cause I’m nearing my breaking point again and needed to write some brain rot to completely disassociate again. I guess also to distract myself from writing my fics? I dunno man.

1.2k words

It must have been one of those days; where everything felt off-balance. Levi always saw. He could tell by just a glance your way the morning before.

Another day of feeling as though every sight before you became dull and muted in appearance. Unnoticeable, nearly, while you disassociated. And yet somehow, all at once, the more noticeable everything became, making you paranoid and panicked.

He could figure out your tell-tale signs well enough by now, from his own curious observations over time. Occasionally, after some time of letting you sort it out yourself, he’d talked it over once or twice with you. He’d asked you how exactly you felt on days like these; days where your eyes stayed wide and brows raised in an expression of alertness, even as your jaw clenched and hands shook, your eyes glazed over as you kept yourself in near constant motion. He knew the signs, and what they meant.

You were spiraling again. Sensory overload, dissociation…He hadn’t seen it so bad in you before.

Always moving, always forcing yourself to focus no matter how shallow it made your breath...He hated seeing you in such a state, when you wanted to focus on anything but your own thoughts.

Sometimes these moments lasted a few hours, sometimes even just one. But often, they progressed into days of forced hyper focus and constant activity to draw yourself away from your own mind, busying it with tasks and work.

But this time…this time, it had been weeks.

It hurt him to see you so stressed, no matter the situation.

And so, one such morning, following another rough night, he took the liberty of disengaging your alarm for the morning. The simple press of a button, he hoped, would keep you asleep for just a tad longer. Your mind needed the rest of a couple more hours, he reasoned.

After only a second’s hesitation in which he still held your phone, he also sent a quick email to your employer; some excuse about being unwell enough to not clock in today, and warning about a possible similar hinderance for the following day.

'If you need more information, feel free to message my emergency contact, as he's looking after me today while I recover.'

He sent the email, slightly smirking to himself as he turned your phone off and set it back onto the nightstand.

He would handle it for you, as much as he could.

Pulling the covers up over your shoulder, Levi slid out of the bed soundlessly.

With you still soundly asleep, he went about tidying up what he could around the apartment, keeping any noise to a minimum to ensure you stayed asleep.

'A clean space helps clear the mind,' he'd always believed, and as such he wanted to provide you with such a fresh start today. Whenever you chose to wake up, that is. He wouldn’t enforce it today.

It wasn't until late morning he heard movement from the bedroom, your weight shifting over the creaking bed as you stumbled out in a panic moments later.

"My alarm, I must not have set it-" You'd started, obviously anxious as you raced to throw on a new top and a pair of jeans.

Before you could get to slip anything off, Levi’s hand found your shoulder, softly holding you in place.

"Don't worry about it, love. You have today off. Maybe even tomorrow, unless I get a call."

He mumbled, gently taking a jacket from your shaking hands.

You stared up at him blankly for a moment, completely in disbelief.

"...It's Wednesday. I work a 9-5, babe...I'm not off today; it's not a holiday." You tried to protest weakly, but once again were silenced by a slender finger against your lips.

"I know. I called off for you, though. Besides, the shift started three hours ago, so there's no need to bother going in now. Just take a seat, breakfast is half done."

Still regarding him in complete bewilderment, you hesitantly took a seat on the couch and watched him meander back towards the kitchen, returning his attention back to the stove. It was only then you noticed the array of pans neatly set on the hot surface, and the toaster on the counter already slotted with bread. The smell of frying foods wafting over to you, causing your stomach to protest weakly.

When was the last time you’d focused on a full meal, instead of eating a few small bites here and there throughout the day?

It wasn't long until he'd plated the meal, and brought you a plate with a cup of tea to pair it. Once you were settled in with your plate and utensils, he sat down on the couch beside you with his one of his own. He'd never been fond of eating on the couch, you knew, so this must be a 'special occasion' of sorts.

"...Why?" You eventually mumbled between bites of toast and sips of tea, digging in the moment he’d sat.

He swallowed the bite of scrambled eggs from his own plate before answering, a napkin already in hand to wipe away any invisible cooking greased from his lips.

"You're stressed out, baby. I've seen it for several days now. Relaxing evenings after work weren't doing it, so I wanted to give you a full day's worth, instead."

"...I'm fine. Life is just rough sometimes-"

You'd started, setting down your mug to weakly protest his concerns; but he easily held a hand over your wrist, lowering the warm beverage from your lips.

"Then isn't it my job to try and make life a little less strenuous? One day off won't kill you, and won't impact the income too greatly. We can manage; but your mental health can’t, not like this.”

He sighed, setting your mug down onto the coffee table for you.

“Just relax, yeah? Relax, and let me handle today for you. It’s the least I can do, for all that you always do.”

Huffing quietly in muted amusement, you smiled his way, eyes welling with unshed tears. Tears of silent relief.

“…I haven’t had a work day off in ages, maybe months. Two days a week are nice, but…”

“…But not enough sometimes. I know sweetheart. I know. I can see it in you. So just relax today. We don’t have to be productive every day.” Levi reassured softly, keeping his hand around yours.

“Hell, I’ll bully your boss into giving you another day off-“

“Levi I need this job, you can’t,” you giggled, leaning against his side and curling up onto the couch.

“…But thank you, my love. I think I needed this,” you finished in a whisper, briefly closing your eyes.

“I know you did.” Levi stated calmly, running his free hand’s fingers through your hair.

“Just rest…I’ve got everything else. I’ll deal with it for you.”

(A/N: I’m a whore for the idea of Levi calling us ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart’ leave me alONE-)

For mroe Levi Ackerman content, feel free to check out my other masterlists!

[profundcherrylady]

SINGLE DAD!SAE ITOSHI

A/N: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! Yeah I know it's past New Years and technically mid January, I just took a looong time writing this, hope y'all like it tho.

Warnings: None I think. Just a little swearing.

Contents: Rin being a bad babysitter lol. VERY unrealistic btw there is no way none of this could be like an actual situation that could happen in real life. Very, very bad parenting because WHY would Sae let any of this happen tf.

Description: On a displeasing turn of events, Sae has to spend Christmas eve at work, in Spain. But that's not going to stop his daughter from making her Christmas wishes come true.

"...What do you mean, she's gone?" Sae's voice was starting to sound anxious, even on the other side of the phone. Missing? His daughter was missing on Christmas eve? How could this happen? If he was there, he would for sure give Rin something more than just a piece of his mind for losing his daughter.

"Exactly what you're hearing. She's not here." he explained, still looking around under tables and inside cabinets in case she was secretly playing hide and seek again. "I checked her bedroom, the bathroom, your room, the kitchen... it's like she disappeared on thin air."

"That's impossible. Why did you leave her alone in the apartment in the first place?"

"Because she is refusing to move from her room. Well, she was. Now I have no clue of where the hell she is! You know this is your fault, right?"

"Excuse me? Tell me how I'm at fault for you losing my daughter."

"She wouldn't stop asking about you; she was heartbroken when you told her you'd spend Christmas at Spain without her, saying she wanted to be with you and asking when you'd come back. She was so depressed she didn't even want to eat. I even bought her a bunch of presents but she said it'll not be the same without you here, and you know damn well that brat's spoiled. She wouldn't reject any gifts if she wasn't depressed, depressed."

"First of all, do not call her a spoiled brat." he responded. "Second, fine. Leave it at that and just focus on finding her, where could she have gone to? Somewhere that reminds her of me maybe? She must've left something behind, keep looking!"

"I'm looking, chill." he entered the little girl's bedroom once again. Just as he saw before, it was empty and quiet, no sight of her favorite bunny plushie either which meant she must have gone somewhere. She always took that thing everywhere. He peeked under the bed but there was nothing, then finally stood back up.

A paper.

Rin's eyes widened at the sight of a paper on the bed, and he quickly rushed to read it.

"Rin?" he hushed his brother on the other of the phone. The handwriting was messy and childish so it was definitely hers, and as he read line through line his eyes widened even more.

"Fuck."

"What? What is it? Did you find something?"

"So... you're not gonna like what you're going to hear. She left a note... it says she was heading to you."

"Me?" he repeated, absolutely on disbelief. "I'm in Spain."

"Yeah, she seems to know that." the younger Itoshi continued to read the note, this time out loud. "...'Dear uncle Rin, I miss papa, I don't wanba wait anymore...'? Guess she meant 'wanna'. Uh... 'Chridthsma I dunno how to spell it but you know what I mean. Too lonely! I wanna see papa, so I'll go suprise him. I wanna spend tomoreow with him. Thanks uncle Rin! Plz don't throw out my presents that you bought me. Bye-bye'. And that's it."

"WHAT? She can't come all the way to Spain just to see me."

"You bet she can't; she's under eighteen. Relax, she can't travel alone just like that; she won't go far. I'll just go to the airport."

"Okay... that's true, but she wouldn't give up that easily; I'm pretty sure she knows she can't go on a plane alone, so..." then the realization hit him. "The train."

"What?"

"The TRAIN. She'll take the train from Japan to Europe, then from Barcelona to where I'm at on Madrid."

"Sae be fucking for real. Do you seriously think a six-year-old planned all of that?"

"Believe me, she's capable. She's seen those trains before, and she would for sure be too scared to go to the airport."

"And where do you think she'd get the money to travel?"

"Her allowance."

"You give a six-year-old an allowance?"

"STOP asking questions and go to the train station for her!"

"Okay, relax, I'm heading out."

But unfortunately for Rin, little Mao was already on the train station ready to head out to a whole another continent just to see her father. She had packed well (she broght her stuffed bunny) and ate breakfast before heading out (cookies from the kitchen counter); she was even well dressed for the occasion (she put on her jacket).

She was at the train station now, waving hello to the person selling the train tickets.

"Can I go to Spain, please?" she asked excitedly.

"Well, hello. You're taking a trip with your parents? Where are they?"

"My papa is at Spain." the man let out an 'oh' after hearing that.

"On Christmas eve, whithout his family? Must be something important. I'm sorry, though, I can't sell you a ticket to another country without any parental supervision."

"But... I already got all the way here."

"Sorry, kid, it's against the rules. I mean, if you had another parent or someone that can go with you I'd gladly let you go to Spain and see your dad."

"My uncle already said no... that's why I walked here all by myself... in the snow..."

"Well, if he said no it must be for a reason. What about your mom?"

"She isn't alive anymore. My dad and my uncle are pretty much all I have."

"Oh..." now he was starting to feel bad about this poor kids and her sad puppy eyes.

"I just wanted to see my papa on Christmas eve... he said he'd send me presents but I just wanted a hug from him. That was my only Christmas wish... but I guess it won't come true... hopefully he won't miss new year's too... or my birthday... I don't wanna keep seeing him through a screen anymore..."

"Okay, okay, okay, fine." he gave up; this teary-eyed child was going to kill him from sadness. He couldn't just send her home all sad like that. "Fine... I'll make some calls, I'll get you a train ticket to Barcelona. But you have to follow my instructions, okay? Going to another country is a big deal."

"Really? Thank you, mister! Now my Christmas wish is gonna come true!" the man took the phone aside from him and started making calls to arrange everything.

"Just let me see your passport and we'll see what we can do."

"You missed her? Really?" Sae was exasperated at this point. He was confident that they wouldn't let a kid travel to another continent, but apparently they were more incompetent than he thought.

"Listen, I got here as fast as I could. It's Christmas eve and there's snow all over; traffic was horrible." Rin explained, looking over his shoulder where the person in charge was showing him the security footage where they let Mao buy a ticket and get on the train. "I asked and it seems like her train just left. She bought a ticket to Barcelona and she's now on her way to you, but don't worry too much, they told me they got someone from the staff to keep an eye on her."

"That's not as bad as it could be, but what now? I have a match today, she knows that. I told her I wasn't missing Christmas at home just because. I'm busy preparing but if she's already on her way that I might have to cancel."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself just now, her train just left. It's like 19 hours from now, and it has two connections in Portugal and France. It'll take her a while to actually get to you."

"Still, the game is tomorrow at 2:00pm. I don't know if I can concentrate in training if my child is somewhere in Europe. Just thinking about it is getting me on my nerves... I know I can't do anything until she's here but I still feel the urge to go looking for her."

"Listen, it's going to be fine. Nothing will happen to her on the train and once she gets to Spain she only has to buy another ticket from Barcelona to Madrid and then you can do something about it, but do not call off the game because of this. People are counting on you to show up, you know? Seriously, just focus on getting ready and everything will get sorted out. Even if you don't go and look for her, I think she made it clear that she's going to find her way to you."

"I suppose there's some truth in what you say, but it still doesn't feel like something a responsible parent would do. I'm just worried."

"And you don't think I am? She's still my niece; if anything bad happens to her it'll all be my fault."

"It sure will be, you better take the damn responsibility if something happens to my daughter."

"Why do I bother telling you anything? Whatever, I'll call you later."

"France and Portugal were pretty, right?" the assistant from the train watched Mao as she nodded her head with a smile. "You took a big nap earlier; must feel a lot better, hm?"

"Yeah, but I'd really like to get to Spain now..."

"Don't worry, sweetie. Look, we're already here." she almost jumped off her seat when she heard that, holding her plush bunny tightly. The woman from the train helped her gather her stuff and get off, then sweetly waved her goodbye from the inside of the train. "Take care, okay? You're almost there!"

"Bye, miss! Thank you!" Mao waved as well as the train's gates closed off again, then turned around to head to the front desk and buy a ticket to Madrid.

Looking around, she almost bumped with a couple of people who spoke in a language she didn't quite understand and seemed pretty confused to see a foreigner child alone at the train station. She ignored it, as she was busy being amazed at the difference between this place and her hometown, but she kept going until she finally got the front desk where the person in charge looked down at her.

"¿Qué?"

"Hi! Um... I wanna go to Madrid." she pointed to the screen behind the man, so even though he didn't understand the kid he knew what she was trying to say, and he answered accordingly.

"Madrid? ¿Pero qué quiere hacer una niña en Madrid?" she stared, unable to understand a word, and the man finally sighed. "Mo es mi cría ni mi problema. Toma tu boleto a Madrid."

"Thank you!" she took the ticket handed to her and payed the number on the screen and walked towards her next train.

This was it, she was almost there. So close to seeing her father it actually felt unreal! Even when she didn't even spoke spanish she was there! Just a few hours and she would be able to get that hug from him.

Of course, as the hours passed, little Mao ended up spending Christmas eve on the train, but the wait was worth it. When the sun finally went up and Christmas morning came around, Mao Itoshi arrived to Madrid. The city outside the train station was bustling with energy, with big christmas decorations on the local stors and a crowd of people walking around with their children. And so... what now?

Wait.

...What now?

Where WAS Sae? She didn't know. She knew he was in Madrid and that he had a game later, yet that was all. She didn't know where her dad was staying or where could he be now, aside from the stadium where the football game was taking place later, but she didn't know where that was either. The city was huge and full of people; what was she supposed to do now?

"Um... sorry?" she tried asking around for directions, but of course, the locals didn't speak the same language as her. The brushed her off as soon as they realized they weren't getting whatever she was trying to say.

So she continued walking, trying to find anything that might get her in the right direction. At this point, she was tired again. She was only a child after all; she couldn't walk that much without getting exhausted fast, but she kept pushing through. She was on a mission, and the goal was so close; she couldn't possibly give up now. Even if she was tired and cold and hungry... she didn't have that much time before her father's game started, and then she would have to wait even more for that hug!

After a while she stumbled across a café. She didn't have money on her, but she figured she was tired and maybe they could let her just sit for a little bit and rest so that she could get to Sae faster. She held onto her plush bunny a little tighter as she reached for the doorknob and got inside, just to be greeted by a young (yet older from her perspective) woman.

"Bienvenida!" she looked down at the child, and after a couple of seconds she became surprised that she was alone. Peeking outside the door, there was no sight of any parents or older siblings or any responsible adult. She also took note of the fact that her features didn't seem spanish, although they were slightly familiar from somewhere... "¿Hablas español?"

"Um..." the answer to that question was no. She did not speak Spanish, but she didn't know that's what she was asking.

"Ay, probrecita... no te preocupes, ven." she signaled Mao to follow, which she did, and she was sat on a nearby table. "¿Tienes hambre? Ah, es cierto, que no hablas español. Te voy a traer algo de comer, ¿sí?"

After saying a couple more things she didn't understand, the lady finally walked away, so Mao let herself relax for a moment on the tranquility of the almost empty café. The only sounds around were the soothing wirring of the coffee machine on the back, the television set on some corner and the few people that were in there eating. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, resting her head against the table, when the lady came back with a little baked pastry on a plate. She gestured Mao to not worry and just eat it, but before she could actually say anything else she was startled by the sound of another customer cursing out at the TV.

"¿QUÉ?" he exclaimed again, and so she paid a little more attention to the news on there.

"Y ahora, bueno, la noticia que ha tenido a toda España como loca. A las 2:00pm de hoy estaba programado el partido de fútbol que iba a dar lugar en el estadio de Madrid y en el cual iba a participar el llamado prodigio japonés Sae Itoshi. Ha dado muchísimo de que hablar como jugador; se le quiere un montón en su país de origen, y hoy iba a participar en este partido pero de última hora acaba de anunciar que no puede jugar. Es una locura, escúchenme que tampoco me lo puedo creer. El partido ha sido puesto en espera porque Sae Itoshi se está negando a jugar debido a que su hija está desaparecida. Dio algunos minutos de su tiempo para hablar con la prensa hace poco menos de treinta minutos y declaró que aparentemente de vuelta en Japón dejó a su hija al cuidado de su hermano, es decir el tío de la niña, y que... que ha despertado y la niña no estaba! Y en víspera de navidad, además, es que es increíble. Y para hacerlo peor todavía, la niña dejó una nota en su casa diciendo que fue a visitar a su padre, por lo cual Sae Itoshi declaró que su hija está en algún lugar de Madrid y que no puede jugar hasta que no la encuentre. No me creo que esto sea una noticia real gente, pero aquí estamos. Eh... pues ya saben, estén atentos. Sae Itoshi dejó la descripción de su hija para que quien sea que la vea lo pueda reportar o la lleve directamente al estadio. Es una niña de seis años, tiene el cabello oscuro y los ojos iguales a los de su padre; también dice que lleva con ella un... ¿conejo de felpa?"

"Dios mío!" after hearing the news, the lady was certain. This kid in the café was Sae Itoshi's daughter; her description matched and then it made sense that her features seemed familiar. So she was missing and her father was holding the whole football match until he found her... she had to do something!

She waited patiently until Mao finished her little snack and then approached her again, pointing at the TV where they were showing the footage of Sae declaring the facts of her little runaway. The kid gasped, almost trying to reach out to him.

"Papa!" that she could understand. It was very similar to the spanish word "papá" which meant dad so there was no doubt.

"Te voy a llevar con tu papá, ¿bien? Vamos." she offered her hand, which Mao took as the lady shouted that she was going out for a little bit and got out with her.

"C'mon, Sae, be reasonable. You can't just back out of the game like this! Do you know how many people are counting on you?"

"Yeah, the thing is, I don't give a fuck my daughter is MISSING. I was patient enough; I'm not doing anything until she's safe and sound."

"But... Sae! This game is very important for all of us! You're going to make us lose!"

"So you're telling me... a stupid football match is more important than my daughter's life." now THAT made him rethink his words, although not for long, because there was no way he was going to stay quiet with how much was at stake. But the next thing he said was the last straw for Sae.

"N-No... I didn't mean... fuck, Sae, she's been missing two days! Maybe it's time you consider the other possibilities and move on-"

"What did you just say?" his harsh tone and the darkened expression on his face made the whole room go quiet. "I don't care if you lose the game over this, you hear me? But that's my little girl, and if anything happens to her because of this I could never forgive myself, and the fact that you are even suggesting that she could be dead and that I just 'move on' is making me sick. You want me to play today? You better keep that stupid mouth of yours fucking closed or I'll make sure you do. I don't say things twice so you better listen up. I'm getting out of here to find her, understood?"

"Y-Yeah... I'm sorr-"

"Papa!" Sae's expression instantly switched as soon as he heard the familiar voice call for him, and as he turned around, there she was. Safe and unharmed, accompanied by a few security guards from the stadium. His eyes relaxed inmediately when he saw her ran up to him, then he crouched down and opened up his arms as he saw the little girl going for a hug, and once she was on his arms again, he let out a sigh of relief and held her just a little bit tighter. "I missed you, papa!"

Sae stood back up with her still on his arms, and frowned slightly as he looked down at her again.

"You are in very big trouble, young lady. You traveled all across Europe from Japan, through Portugal and France, just to be here. Do you have any idea how dangerous and irresponsible that was? Do you know what could've happened to you? You could've gotten lost, or worse. I am very disappointed; I was worried sick. You don't even speak spanish and you still managed to get all the way to the stadium." he saw her little smile fade away with his words, and he sighed once more as his eyes softened once again. "You must've really wanted to see me today, huh?"

"I did! Papa, I wanted to be with you on Christmas."

"We talked about this, Mao, I sent you lots of gifts back to Japan and we could always videocall today after the game; you didn't need to do all of this."

"But I did need it!"

"How so?"

"Because none of the gifts were what I wanted..."

"What? That's not possible. I sent you everything you said you wanted; I bought you that dollhouse you said was pretty and the dress you said you wanted for Christmas, there were more plush toys and accessories you told me you liked and things from your favorite cartoons. I don't know how I could've missed anything."

"That's okay papa, it's because those are the gifts from you! I did want those but they weren't my Christmas wish."

"Really? None of them?"

"Nope! They were things I wanted but they weren't my Christmas wish. But don't worry, papa, there's no way you could've known. I wrote it on my letter to Santa!"

Oh.

Didn't he tell Rin to check that as well? Damn it, he missed his daughter's Christmas wish and he didn't realize. Of course it didn't come true if he didn't know what it was to buy it...

"Well, can I know what it is? Maybe there's still time to get you whatever it is."

"It's okay, I already have it! It was a hug from you." and then his heart melted down. How could he still be mad after that?

"You little rascal. Why did you tell Santa and not me?"

"I figured he'd talk to you and maybe you would change your mind and go home. But then I found out what was his plan really was! I woke up yesterday and there was a letter under the tree! And it had money and the train schedule so I could get here today! And then a lot of miracles happened, like the person who sold me the ticket and the nice lady from the train and the café and me getting this far without knowing any spanish!"

"You found a letter with money under the tree? I didn't do that..." he whispered, and he certainly knew Rin didn't do it either.

"Of course you didn't; it was Santa!" Sae rolled his eyes and gave her one last hug.

"It still doesn't mean you're free from punishment. You're grounded for a month."

"Why?!"

"You traveled to another continent without permission and you're asking why you're grounded? Hand over that plush bunny, miss."

"Noooo, not that! I'm not gonna do it again!"

"You bet you won't."

"Don't take it, please! He's my best friend."

"I know." he huffed. "Fine. Now, I'm gonna need you to wait for me; I have a game to win."

[stillnotyourmusebitch]

I can’t stop thinking of demon! Adam going through development and reaching the point of like,, doing something nice without anyone telling him to do it, purely for the sake of doing it. Something he never would have done before. Even if it’s something as small as sitting down with you while you’re watching your favorite movie or show and not shitting on it the whole time, just to keep you company. Or something like that. I dunno. I’m just a sucker for slow burn subtextual romance.

THAT, and the reader seeing his face beneath the mask, looking him the eyes, and smiling a little. Even if they say nothing. I feel like that would stick with him.

Exactly. Demon!Adam lives in my head rent free now. I know this weren't a request of sorts but I kinda wrote something for this

random ficlet below

Demon!Adam x GN!reader (Fluff)

DemonSinner!Adam is something that plays on my mind a lot. He still doesn’t believe in the whole redemption shit that Charlie is laying down but if it gets him a glimpse of seeing heaven again he is willing to try.

-----

Adam was bored and needed something to do that would put off the inevitable “therapy” session with Lucifer’s brat later. So that must be why he finds himself outside your room. He knocks lightly on your door. You didn’t answer, he knocked again louder this time. Still no answer. So he opens the door and peers in.

“Hey errr (Y/n) Charlie asked me to check on you.” A blatant lie but he won’t tell you that.

He sees you’re watching TV.

“Huh? What no shitty nickname this time?” You mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn. Adam walks over and flops down on the couch next to you.

“Oh yeah, nah I didn’t really feel like it.” He grabs a handful of your popcorn.

You quirk a brow.

“Also Charlie said nooo giving nicknames to people that demean them and also who don’t want it and people were given names to be used blah blah blah.” He shoves the popcorn into his mouth. “So what are we watchin?”

“I'm watching a movie I really like so if you're staying either shut up or fuck off.” You sink back into your blanket cocoon.

*10 minutes later*

“What the fuck! This guy clearly likes her but she goes for the other bozo. Is she blind . . . . as well as ya know hot.”

You choke on your drink. You didn’t think that this would be his kinda thing but here he was emotionally invested in the film you had picked. You had really wanted to just wallow in your depression by binge watching trashy romcoms but what was really making you feel better was watching the ‘dickmaster’ himself rooting for the underdog to open up about his feelings to the lead woman.

You go to grab some popcorn but see the bowl is empty.

“Gotta pause.” You go to stand but he stops you.

“I got this.” He hides the good deed by quickly saying “And I need to piss anyway.” You pass him the bowl.

“Not in the popcorn I hope.” You rearrange yourself back in your blanket burrito.

“HAA, You nasty but don’t watch without me. Coz that is a dick move.”

“You know all about those.” You mutter into the blanket. But Adam had gone to the hotel kitchen to make popcorn.

You chose to scroll on your phone until he got back. There were a few messages but you didn’t really feel like answering them. You flop on your side. You can always move when he came back.

While you waited in silence for Adam. You think back on how he really was getting better. After seeing him slowly open up to Charlie’s ideas and seeing that he can be a good guy when it suits him. You smile to yourself.

Your door slams open.

“Okay I’m back bitch.”

Nevermind looks like he has thrown up his walls again.

He lays out the armful of snacks and the bowl of popcorn that looks way bigger than the bowl he left with. He sees you on your side.

“You comfy down there?”

You groan and slowly sit up again. He sits back down but wraps an arm around you and hugs you into his side and nothing more.

“Okay we can continue now.” He grabs the popcorn and rests it on his lap.

You set the movie going again and snuggle just a little bit closer. For popcorn reasons of course not that Adam was nice and warm and you felt safe next to him.

“Clearly she don’t know a good thing when she sees it.” You pipe up after about three minutes into the film again. You had seen this film so many times but there was one scene that always brought out annoyance in you.

“Right!! She needs to open her eyes this guy clearly loves her for who they are and not some fake ass bs that other . . . what?” Adam stops mid-sentence looking down at you resting against his chest.

You blink a few times before realising you are staring “Huh oh nothing.”

You focus back on the screen in front of you.

The climatic end of the film was approaching and the main lead were confessing their love and as the credits role you can here someone crying. You glance up and see Adam wiping away tears.

“You okay.” You sit up and reach for the tissues on the table to hand them to him.

“What!!! I’m fine. Of course I’m fiiiine. Shut up bitch.” He grabs the tissue box from you.

“If it helps I cried the first time I watched this movie.” You wrap the blankets tighter around yourself.

“I . . . ah . . shit.” He saw you curling further in on yourself. He feels guilt crawling into his stomach. “Sorry, I’m . . .Ugh. Look I’m bad at these feel your feelings crap that Charlie spouts. But it was a good film and yeah I cried but . . .”

“It don’t make you any less of a man.”

“Yeeeah I know. Of course I know. I’m the first man.”

“Huh back to that are we.” You bump shoulders with him, making him laugh.

He pulls you back into his side “So what are we watching now?”

------

I really didn't mean for this to be as long as it was. I'm sorry

[bedupolker]

PLAYLIST. @viv13drainbow I think if you like that song in particular you'd also really enjoy Summer Salt, Little Joy, and Babe Rainbow for chill beach-y rock (not included). Commentary below:

The Blue Album - The album to start all albums, the album that launched weezer to success. Many hail this as their best album (I love this album but respectfully disagree) but nonetheless it's an essential for weezer fans and alt rock fans as a whole. Plenty of people who know way more about music than I do have praised blue album at length, and it's a funny meme nowadays too. Of course say it ain't so is an all-time classic, a heart-wrenching look into Rivers's relationship with alcoholism and his parental figures. I dunno if anything on the blue album can be called a proper deep cut, but only in dreams is an overlooked gem, and probably my favorite outro in their whole discography. Hopeful but somber, that slow buildup a the end to the guitar solo. Suzanne is a nice B-side.

Pinkerton - the infamous Pinkerton. Their sophomore album. Their breakdown album. Although weezer's not exactly an emo band, this album is often credited to being influential to the genre as a whole. No two people have the same experience with love or breakups, and one of the beautiful things about art is that we can see an experience through anothers' eyes, but I don't think I can think of a more painfully relatable album than this one. The balancing act of portraying its sympathetically-unsympathetic protagonist as equal parts pathetic and lonely while also entitled and aggressive. Some of the vocals are so raw for a second you see the monster in the five foot six, nerdy, physically disabled, lead singer that he sees himself as. Hard for me to pick a favorite standalone song off this one; the good life is a funky jam that wouldn't be out of place next to wheatus or RCHP's tracks, but that's where all the funk ends. Why bother? is a driving, catchy song that starts to show the cracks of his depression, falling for you is full of emotion, and if you get your hands on the deluxe edition, tragic girl.

Green album - At its time of release, Pinkerton was not received well. Creating such a raw, personal piece of art is hard. It's like the artistic version of getting crazy drunk, pouring your heart out, feeling catharsis for a moment, then realizing you'll have to deal with it all the next day. A lot of people interpret island in the sun as a happy song, but to me it's the tylenol after that night of drinking, a lie to tell yourself just to get through the day. It has a peaceful rhythm and brings to mind a tropical paradise, but there's something undeniably melancholy beneath the sunshine and smiles. You've tried to face your pain and you barely escaped alive, maybe you're better off just ignoring it. (That being said, although the damage has been done, Pinkerton has later been reevaluated and is now as widely praised as the Blue Album amongst music critics, and Rivers himself has made peace with that phase in his life.)

Maladroit - Overall this album is rather overlooked. It leans a bit more heavily into the rock aspect compared to green album, yet the lyrics remain impersonal and goofy. It's still not a bad album, though doesn't reach the heights of the first two. The singles, Dope Nose & Keep Fishing are both solid, but Burndt Jamb is my personal favorite. A little beach-y, probably their Stroke-y est song, (the band, not the medical emergency), it's been a mainstay on several of my chill out playlists for years now.

Make Believe - Probably one of their most hated albums by fans. It has the infamously shallow and poppy beverly hills, but you know what? I'm a Make Believe Defender. I truly think it could've been a great album, maybe even on par with Pinkerton. Not because of the album itself, but the demos. Haunt you Everyday is solid on the final product but rips at my heartstrings in this demo, ditto for tell me what you did (different name on the final product), everybody wants a chance to be alone (I said burndt jamb was their strokiest song but I think it might actually be this one) purple flowers (lyrics are a little rough but the melody, the meloncholy... so good) Actually on that note, weezer has, like, multiple album's worth of unreleased content that's miles better than anything on a published album (Link for one of my favorite fan compilations). Yes, the lyrics sound like something I wrote in my diary after a breakup, but that makes them all the more real. A deep dive into weezer will reveal the terrifying truth we've all been blind to: weezer never got bad.

Red Album - Mixed feelings on this one. It was produced by Rick Rubin, industry titan and famous for bringing bands "back from the dead," he's produced more than one of my all time favorite albums. Red is not one of them unfortunately. It has its fans though. Pork and Beans is fun.

Raditude, Hurley, Death to False Metal - Skipping these bc I don't care abt them

Everything will be alright in the end - To fans, this was their first "good" album since Maladroit, maybe since Pinkerton (12 years prior!) depending on who you ask. Although it wasn't as commercially successful as some others, it's a very strong album. Really, what is it about rock bands forgetting they're rock bands then suddenly returning to releasing rock music and magically being good again?? I'm looking @ you too, fall out boy. I have a hard time picking a really standout song- it's one of those albums that's evenly good throughout, no skips, but no obvious standouts either. Da Vinci is fun.

White Album - A fantastic album. You can hear some pretty heavy beach boys influence in this one. Unlike EWBAITE it has a few skips for me, but the highs are very high. Speaking of high. Do you wanna get high has to be my favorite off this one, Endless Bummer could be a sequel to island in the sun, Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori is just good clean weezy fun.

Pacific Daydream - I'm a Pacific Daydream defender. Check out QB blitz. Weekend Woman is flawed, but fun too, the bridge really makes it for me. Very evocative of Good Vibrations by the beach boys.

Teal Album - Oh god a cover album. No Scrubs is probably the only one really worth checking out if nothing else to hear a geeky white guy say "A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly" like he's reading it out of a dictionary. (TLC, who wrote and performed the original song, allegedly got a kick out of it)

Black Album & Van Weezer - I don't care about these either. Damnit I thought we were gonna be good again!

Ok Human - A good album!! What a relief. Could you imagine how embarrassing it would be to name yourself as a homage such a groundbreaking radiohead album and have it be.... bad??? I particularly love this one because in some ways it feels like it's his most personal album since Pinkerton- only instead of being an honest dialogue from a horribly lonely and isolated 20 year old student, it's a much more well adjusted, happily married, 50 year old father who is subject to both optimism and ennui. And it rocks! In a soft, subdued way. The songs flow into each other so nicely, the first three in the album debatably are my favorite 3-song-run in their discog. Aloo Gobi and Grapes of Wrath especially. The transition from dark and somber Dead Roses to light and upbeat Here Comes the Rain never gets old to me. This album (alongside MGMT's little dark age and The Stroke's The New Abnormal) was also like my essential Coronavirus holy trinity.

Spring/Summer/Fall/Winter - This is a compilation of 4 EP's, one of each released during their respective seasons in 2022. I think it's solid all around, with Summer being the strongest. Records and Blue Like Jazz are both very catchy, Thank you and Goodnight... just wait for the outro, trust me.

[dollgxtz]

Idk if it’s just me but I hope reader doesn’t get Stockholm Syndrome-d into liking Sylus. Dunno why but I really like the idea of Sylus perhaps getting what he wants but just, not exactly. She could become more docile, accepting of her fate but the light in her eyes could have fully gone out essentially being a shell of the person he had (allegedly) fallen in love with. Kinda obsessed with the idea of getting something you’ve taken by force but having broken it in the process. It being your own personal punishment to suffer through forever for having taken what was not given to you. Looking forward to see what you come up with!

This is certainly an interesting spin on things. Yan!Sylus definitely wouldn’t take an emotionally broken Reader lightly. At least when she’s feisty, he just thinks she needs more time. A depressed or mentally unstable reader would create such an interesting contrast because, like you said, the idea of him getting what he wants but realizing that the light in her eyes is gone adds layers to the narrative.

I can totally see Sylus obsessing over trying to “fix” her but never being able to reverse the damage. It would be less about gifts or physical affection and more about him trying to break through this emotional wall that he unknowingly built.

I can picture him spiraling a bit, unable to cope with the fact that what he took by force is now so damaged that even his obsession feels hollow. It’s his punishment, and it creates this powerful sense of consequence for his actions 😗

He anticipates her hating him, but not herself or life so much so that she becomes emotionally broken and becomes a shell of a person. In his mind, he can give her everything and that would never happen 🙂‍↕️

Ty for sharing! I’m excited to show you all what I have planned ^^

[kyojurismo]

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟔 : 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. +18 nsfw, 1.9k words, age difference (reader is in her 20s, satoru is in his 30s), top!satoru, dub-con, fingering, nipple play, degradation, not proofread + pls notify me if there’s something else to tag, i’ll fix it asap.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. hello dear readers. i know it took me a whole month to start posting something for my kinktober event, but life (and my depression) got in the way, so i wasn’t able to fully dedicate myself to writing (i take this opportunity to also remind y’all that 1. i do it as a hobby and 2. eng is not my first language). starting w day 6 bc i suddenly got the desire to write for satoru lol. well, that’s all from me now, i hope you guys will enjoy and please be sure to read the tags carefully !! ♡

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓.

satoru gojo was a close friend to your father, they worked together and sometimes he would invite satoru for dinner. he was charming and funny, so of course it never disturbed you. he also looked incredibly handsome, with those beautiful light blue eyes and white hair.

he looked so sad when you mentioned you were gonna move out for college, saying that he liked your young presence and your sense of humour, especially how you two often ended up talking about scary movies — a passion you two had in common.

you recently got back home, your father’s birthday was getting closer and you wanted to organise something to celebrate it, as long as help him decorate the house for halloween.

you weren’t exactly a fan of halloween costumes, more like you enjoyed the atmosphere and watching others dressing up as something.

you finished preparing yourself a snack when your phone started ringing, your father’s name appeared on screen.

“hey dad!”

“i’m gonna get home late tonight, i’m sorry baby. gotta catch up to some work, but we can watch the movie once i’m back if you’re not sleeping already. how does it sound?”

you took a couple of seconds to reply, because well — you’ve been looking forward to it for days, but you also knew that his job was important and that he couldn’t really left early because ‘he has some movie to watch’.

“yeah, sounds good. i’ll try my best to stay awake.”

“great! i asked satoru to pass by and check on you. i think he’ll bring something to eat too.”

“dad… i’m not fourteen, i don’t need a babysitter.”

“i know, i know. he just offered since it’s his day off.”

“whatever. see ya later.”

you hung up the phone and rolled your eyes. it was obvious your dad asked him to come over and check on you, but you didn’t mind it that much. he would leave quickly and you would end up having the rest of the evening all for yourself.

at least, that what you thought.

“i’m so surprised to see you,” you opened the door, sarcasm clear in your voice. you didn’t expect to see satoru dressed up as none other than the slender man. you chuckled, checking the mask a bit closer. “wow. you really got into it, huh?” satoru didn’t answer at first, playing the part before you rolled your eyes and walked back into the kitchen, leaving him there.

you heard the door closing a couple of seconds later, while grabbing your sandwich. satoru took off the mask and sighed deeply, glancing around the place. “what if it wasn’t me?” he sounded serious, concerned about your careless behaviour. “my father told me you were coming over to check on me, mr. babysitter.”

he rolled his eyes and put the bag with your food on the kitchen island, before looking at you. “what are you up to tonight?” he casually asked, watching you eating your sandwich in silence. you shrugged before meeting his eyes. “i’m gonna read or watch something, waiting for my dad to come home. what about you?” you smiled innocently, as if you didn’t have in plan to do a marathon of your favourite horror movies.

“dunno. my friend ditched me, so i’m all alone in this frightening night,” he pouted before smirking at your change of expression. “i’m talking about suguru, not your father.”

you rolled your eyes and pretended to be offended. you finished eating your sandwich and put the plate away. “well? are you leaving?” you asked him, making him gasp dramatically. “kids today are so poorly mannered! is this the right way to treat an old man?”

“you’re not that old, that’s also why i don’t get it how you became my father’s best friend in the first place,” satoru was around thirty years old, like ten years younger than your father. “i’m everyone’s favorite person,” he winked and you shook your head, chuckling. “you’re not, really.”

satoru looked offended and followed you into the living room, waiting for an apology. he got none. “whatever. can i stay over? maybe we can watch something together,” he asked you, genuinely interested in doing so. you thought about his offer, knowing that it wouldn’t hurt to have some company. “hm, okay. but i’m choosing,” you glanced at him while sitting down on the couch. “yeah, sure. just pick something scary.”

halfway through the movie, satoru started shifting towards you, making it look casual. you bit your inner cheek as your leg touched his, stiffening a little.

“scared?” he murmured during a moment of silence, you shook your head. “hm,” he licked his lips before looking at you, noticing how you were growing nervous.

in reality, he had been looking at you differently since earlier. you felt strange about it, but you tried to ignore it for your own good. maybe he just wanted to mess with you a little like he would usually do.

one of his hand reached your leg and started caressing your clothed thigh, you shivered and quickly glanced down at it as your heart skipped a beat. your attention was caught by the size of his hand, before you slowly looked at his face. satoru’s eyes were glued to the tv, causing you to turn towards it a bit too quickly.

were you misreading the whole situation or … ?

“satoru,” you gathered some courage to call him. “what is it?” his voice sounded deeper and you gulped louder than expected, causing a smirk to appear on his face. “what—” you gasped as his hand tightened its grip on your thigh before moving closer to your center. “hmm?” satoru finally turned to look at you, your heart pounding rapidly into your chest as he casually cupped your sex. you unconsciously clenched your thighs, trapping it between your legs.

“i’m sorry, this movie is becoming more and more boring,” he spoke casually, looking unbothered by the whole situation. he acted like he wasn’t touching your body at all.

your cheeks grew warmer, you tried to find the right words and ignore how it all was affecting your poor body. it was wrong, he was your father’s best friend and he was older than you. it was very wrong… right?

the way his hand was grinding on you caught your attention and you snapped out of it, grabbing his wrist to stop him. “we-we can’t do this… it’s wrong,” you murmured, pushing it away. “is it though? your body is telling me something else,” he chuckled and finally met your face. his gaze felt much more intimidating now, as he hungrily stared down at you.

you felt slick gathering in your underwear and you shifted uncomfortably on the couch, causing a low laugh to escape satoru’s lips. “now now, why lying?” he suddenly pulled you closer, sitting you on his lap. you could feel his erection right against your lower back, which caused your whole face to grow warmer.

“satoru, wait–” you tried to say something else before his hands pushed your legs apart, then his hands reached your chest and he grabbed your breasts, groping you experimentally. you bit back a moan, squirming under his touch. “sensitive, hm?” he went to pinch your nipples, playing with your boobs as he liked.

a sparkle of excitement filled your guts, even though a part of you knew it wasn’t right, some other was trying to convince you to give in and let him touch you. he was an experienced man for sure, different from other college students. a part of you was also craving some well deserved release. you tilted your head back, closing your eyes. you jumped as his hands slapped your thighs, making you shiver and moan softly.

“i wanna hear every sound coming from your little mouth, you got that little slut?” satoru spoke right into your ear as one of his hands slipped under your shirt while the other sneaked into your leggings, starting to caress your clothed clit. his hands were cold compared to your actual body temperature, and that caused another shiver to run down your body.

“this is wrong,” you whispered, more for yourself. he smirked and rubbed your clit faster, his hand finding a way to slip under your bra and finally touch your hardened nipple. your will to fight the moans caused by the pleasure provided by his skilled hands left your body and you finally gave in.

you moaned as satoru pushed two fingers into your wet channel, taking advantage of how much wet you were already. his long fingers were able to reach spots you couldn’t, which made your stomach turn as whimpers escaped your parted lips. “you’re this wet for your father’s friend, hm? and those sounds, that some real slutty behaviour,” satoru’s tone was completely different from before, he kept speaking — degrading, you while his fingers worked inside your cunt, thrusting deeply and hitting the perfect spot to make your toes curl and cause your back to arch, unconsciously pushing your chest into his hand. “what are you, some college whore now?” his lips kissed right under your ear, biting your neck softly before licking your shivering skin.

“n-no,” you tried to argue back, your hand grabbed his wrist desperately as you grew close to your climax. “no? then why are you this wet? you enjoy getting manhandled and fucked, huh?” satoru’s movements never faltered. “the way you’re clenching on my fingers tells me you like being degraded too.”

you were too embarrassed to reply to any of his accusations, but also too focused on the incoming orgasm. you tried to clench your thighs together as your pussy spasmed around his fingers, gushing hard as you finally came while crying his name.

you sobbed when his thumb massaged your pulsing clit, making you jolt in his lap and almost hitting his chin with your head. he chuckled at your reaction, deciding to play with you for a couple of seconds more before finally leaving your poor pussy alone.

as his hands finally resurfaced from inside your clothes, you clearly saw him licking his fingers clean, groaning softly at the taste. he seemed satisfied even though you were the only one who had the privilege to have an orgasm that night.

“well, little star,” satoru moved your body off of him and placed you back in your previous position, you were still a bit dizzy from what just happened. “time to go,” he got up and stretched, before turning to look at you. “you should change yourself, hm?” he glanced at your ruined leggings before cupping your cheek with his large palm, caressing your warm skin. “i’m proud of my little slut,” he murmured before tracing your lips with his thumb, smirking at you. “goodnight,” he then patted your head and walked towards the main door, opening and closing it in a swift motion. he left as if nothing happened, he didn’t asked if you enjoyed it or not — your cunt sure did. your head was filled with too many thoughts at once. it was alright, it was wrong, it felt good, he knows how to treat a woman, he’s an asshole, it was so hot.

then one single thought filled your mind, causing you to fall back against the cushion of the couch. you found yourself staring at some random point in front of you.

satoru gojo, one of your father’s best friends, made you cum with his fingers… and it felt a bit too good.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @naomi-nana @euphiroo @eynnwwyjth @titantears @plast3c @katsuslover

[niftykin]

hii! dunno if you accept 2 prompts at a time but i'll shoot my shot!

can i request friends to lovers (from first link) and prompt 4 and 7 with sunny from omori? thank youu!!

' Promise you'll remember that you're mine '

Starring: Sunny | OMORI.

Sypnosis: Sunny had been realizing that real life can become a daydram simply by your presence, how is that possible?

Prompts: "The realization that the hugs they share will never be something that they can reciprocate with someone else" & "Anytime they sit next to one another, they find themselves touching. Shoulders, thighs, knees, their honestly never entirely sure how it happens but have accepted it’s unavoidable."

A/N: I do not take request anymore, yet i would find intresting if you have an idea and you can share it with me. Im sorry this took so long, i have been working a lot. Im also sorry if this turns out to be kind of depressive in some parts, have in mind you will be seeing this mostly from sunny's point of view and i think it would be kind of normal that he would have this kind of thoughts, by the way this is too short and i know, sorry.

Warnings: kind of angst in some parts, very light.

Whenever they sit next to one another, the inevitable brush of their fingertips, the undeniable caress of their shoulders, that feeling of comfort when their thighs touch, and the subtle heat that spreads through their bodies when all contact becomes inevitable, are all as familiar to them as breathing - familiar, and yet unrequited, as a soul tie - Despite the familiarity of these sensations, they remain unrequited due to fear. However, ¿what exactly is fear? ¿How do you explain the feeling that prevents you two from reciprocating each other's embrace?

¿Is it his fault? ¿Is there another factor that becomes a burden when he wants to hold you? He is at the very epitome of human feeling in this moment, he didn't feel that before; Despair and hope at the same time by the same person, yet all you make him feel is hope, in everything. Yet Omori still holds his darkest feelings, desires and thoughts.

Even if he knows that he craves a human tie he finds himself retracting in any way he can from you. ¿what if he does it again? he can't stop thinking about it, but you are just so ethereal that he can't help but be drawn towards you. He is a monster, an assassin, ¿what would you like about him? He loves you, and he hates himself for that. He will corrupt you one way or another, but being with you, oh what a dream when he's with you he finds himself in a fairytale, it's better than the headspace, he can breathe.

Sunny was zoned out, but then he realizes that you were talking, he quickly apologized and asked you nicely to repeat youself as he tilted his head to the side. He was genuelly intrested in what you were saying.

"Im sorry, could you repeat that please?"

He was shaking slightly, ¿what could he do now? He doesnt even know how it really began, he can't tell anything about it else than the burning feeling on his chest and the suddent need to hold you in his arms for days, than the suddent need to protect you, for Omori is a waste of time, for Sunny love is something natual and real, something you make him feel.

He loves your voice, he loves it when its dedicated to him, he loves when he is the person you are looking at, Omori said it was egoistical yet Sunny only finds comfort on the sun that reflects on your eyes, its the only way he doesnt feel the soild falling on his feet, the only way he doesn't feel lost.

Sunny loves you, nobody is going to ever deny that, but oh how wonderfull it would be to tell you just how he loved you, if you only knew what he would do for you. He would do near everything, he just needs a chance, he doesn't ask for much, ¿does he?

He is desperated, clinging to his only ray of hope: You, if you knew you would stay or you would leave? What if you leaved him, what would he do after?... No, you won't leave, he will do whatever you want if you dont leave, he will beg on his knees for you to stay if it is necessary, he won't loose you.

© Cheshiseriko 2024, all rights reserved ONLY ON TUMBLR

[puckpocketed]

get ready for avs essays, babeyyyyyyy!!! 

so i’m actually completely fine with it if you don’t find nate compelling but since you bring him up, i will start with him. 

the thing about fortnite gamergirl nathan mackinnon is that he is like. very talented and reasonably conventionally attractive and also soooooooo cringefail. he’s the league mvp and a stanley cup champion and he has a gorgeous fiancée and he’s rich and he’s smashing through joe sakic’s franchise records left and right.... and he’s succchhhhhh a loser (affectionate). he’s uncomfortable all the time. he doesn’t know how to act. he’s pretty private but also he’ll just Say Things that are way too personal with the exact same tone he’d use to. i dunno. tell you what brand of sneakers he wears. he’ll also reveal things about the most private man in sports, squidney crocsby, that are way too personal—and sid apparently is fine with this because he continues to be boybestfriends and next door neighbors with the guy.

everyone thinks he is soooooo serious alllll the time (in spite of the fact that he is goofy and silly when he’s out with the boys) but it’s just a combination of a) his face just looks like that b) he’s just intense in general. he’s equally unchill about how much he fucking loves the boys and how much he loves his tiny dog. and c) mostly we see him when he is at his fucking job? and when he’s at work it’s All Business. don’t make him do dumb social media shit or ask him stupid questions about whether or not he thinks preseason is too long, he’s! busy! come back when it’s puppy day. 

he’s so focused on being working harder and being better and improving everything about his game and yet!!! he cannot win a faceoff 💖 he trains with squidney all summer! every year!! you would think he could learn something from the guy. but no, he doesn’t even seem to try to win faceoffs sometimes. he’s also. not ? defensively responsible? i do not exactly expect him to play like kopitar, here. i don’t even think he should waste all his energy backchecking; like, that’s not the thing we need him for. but idk from a guy who is sooooo fucking smart about hockey, a little more situational awareness would be nice. just a thought! like, if he wanted to be better at things, maybe he could get better at the things he’s terrible at? (but whatever, this gives me more of an excuse to push my ondřej pavel -> big boys’ club agenda). like. nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰 

his one and only love language is trying to convince the boys to come play with him (jo, jack eichel, mitch marner, jo again). he doesn’t like late games, because he doesn’t nap. and he doesn’t nap because he can’t sleep during the day. and he can’t sleep during the day because he drinks too much water, so he has to piss too much. babygirl, why would you volunteer this information 💕 he tells people to call him “the dogg” and then they do. he says awkward sentences that rewire my brain. he should be cool, but he isn’t!!!!! he extremely fucking isn’t.

this is my natemac thesis, you can take it or leave it (said with love!!!!! there are other players i am significantly more invested in getting people on board with). i think many other people can speak more eloquently than i can about everything impressive he does on the ice. but he’s one of my special little guys bc of everything else

i have no idea what to do with all this <3 I'm here because he just bonked my ducks into oblivion - im hoping this cures his dogboy depression (it was becoming so wretched that it had started leaking into my curated feeds) - and it made me think of this ask which i've been marinating. hello!!

fortnite legend natemack is the exact age to have grown up in the heyday of COD xbox lobbies, do u ever think about that . i think about that now. do u think natedogg is his gamertag. rpf people are you writing gamergirl natemack AUs yet? has that happened yet? (sorry i don't. i don't have any clue what tropes are popular. im just throwing stuff at the wall <3)

nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰

^craziest description of a 1C i've ever heard AND the most compelling he has ever been.

also thank u for not makin some kind of eating disorder joke amongst all this. it IS that serious (to ME) and people do this so much and i think they're not as funny as they think they are <3 (<- WHO SAID THAT!!!)

MYE two cents looking thru a writer/narrative lens: just, like, skimming whatever the hell comes up about him, he strikes me as someone who is very sincere. i get that everyone calls it "intensity" but i think sincerity has its own power. idk. i think he's very brave for wanting what he wants so transparently and wholly. <3 fortnite legend nathan mackinnon you are in my crosshairs......

[soulfulazrael]

Who am I and what I write. The tale of a weird as all Hell fanfic I put too much time into about an odd ship.

So... If anyone here cares I am a Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss fanfic writer (and I am 23/24 year old. Depressing isn't it?). Although I can't exactly call myself the biggest fan anymore. I do love the potential those series have and the ideas in them, but I am not a nut over the execution. In fact I say it is pretty bad in many respects and I think Viv and her writing team do not utilize the full potential of what they have on their hands.

What I want to do is well... Do something I would prefer this world they created to be. So I make several odd as hell Fics. Or at least one now. As you can see from the image about Stella and Moxxie (art btw is made by talented @Caffe1neW1tch on twitter). Now I know, I KNOW how she is in the show... I can explain my case. I do change her character quite significantly from what she is in canon show (as I do so with MANY other things). To something I would prefer her to be. Something while still deeply flawed being more dignified than what she is in Helluva Boss season 2 as I think the direction they took her character was severely disappointing. I can't say they retconned her, but I have to say they went overboard with the direction she was taken. Way too far into just pure Hate Sink. Something I would prefer if it wasn't done at all with a character tied to such a potentially interesting conflict.

Not to mention the direction Vivienne took the world of Hell and it's characters... I must say. I do not enjoy how easy it is to say who is good and bad in both of her shows and how similar Hell is to Earth. It honestly robs the setting of it's potential as it is perfect place to explore some deeply disturbing characters with interesting alien mindsets and their own unique conflicts as it is hard to grasp who are you supposed to root for in the end. But both Hazbin and Helluva greatly miss the mark on that front as every character is either without a shadow of a doubt a good guy (that at most cries, swears and likes to tell sex jokes because I guess that's enough to say character has depth these days) or are so cartoonishly evil and stupid they make Team Rocket look competent and make Micah from RDR2 and Erebus from 40k say "THAT'S NOT SUBTLE ENOUGH!". Not to mention how similar so many of her characters are and how limited their interactions are, the treatment of Heaven, the confusing character arcs... You know what. Issues with both Hazbin and Helluva are too many to count, too many for this post, but I also say they are not TERRIBLE shows, they are just shows that disappoint me at every step for the last few years.

And now I get to the crux of this elongated point. Again. I'm writing fics and one of them is Song for the Quiet Bird. A fic I say is best to read on a site AO3 (but it is also on Fanfic site if it's up to your speed) where I try to explore hell in more meaningful ways and make their culture more unique while telling a story of a very strange ship which is Stella and Moxxie. And do not worry, I am not going on any "Millie is dead" kind of cop out. I am into doing things in an easy way. And here is the link to it:

I also make another fic called Torments of Sinners and Imps which you may find on my profile as well which delves more into Angel and Moxxie, but that one for now is on a break. In a way Song is too, but I do hope I'll post a chapter for that one soon (personal issues and family issues).

Alright, if anyone is interested or sees this post I hope that you will enjoy my take on this series. Will post something more here? I dunno. Maybe? But anyway I just want more people to see it and maybe give their opinion on it which is what I always want to hear.

And I may post more things about what I do not enjoy in those shows and how I think they could be fixed. Talking about several things in both shows that irk me the wrong way.

Also given how deeply I go into the worldbuilding in my fics I may also post some stuff about how I made some things work there and things about culture of Hell I came up with and mythology there... Or maybe just talk about some philosophical mumbo jumbo that I sometimes think of. But whether or not I do it, especially consistently will be another story. If anyone sees this, thanks for sticking around. If anyone is interested in my works or opinions share your thoughts. If anyone hates my guts for the things I write about and my opinions of these series... Can't say I am surprised some people do hate those. You are free to share your discontent too. I welcome all voices. At least until they make my head hurt, then I just take a nap.

Anyway. I rambled for long enough. Again check out the fic if you are interested. Wont force you. If you do so leave a comment which is the most important thing for me when I write something. Hearing what people like and don't like. Have a good one and I hope you enjoy yourself. If not with my story then in your life whoever you are (as long as you are not a total POS).

[novathehumanperson]

HEYYYYYYYYYYYY NEW WRITER NEW WRITER I SEEEEEE!!!!!

I DUNNO IF YOU DO READER WITH LIKE A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A CHARACTER OR WHATEVER- you can just delete this if you don’t do any of that :)

Anyway~ I shall take the honers of being your first request person thing!!!

Fandom your one and only~ “MHA”. Could you do a Brother Shoto Todoroki x Hated Sister Reader???

Anyway~ idk if your those kind of writers who need a tinsie winsie of plot before doing the request so~

Maybe Reader resembles Enji which makes the whole family hate her? Rei just straight up scared of us? But then on night one night Shoto catches us doing self harm? He may “hate” us but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care :)

If you don’t like sensitive topics it’s completely fine!!! Just delete this if you don’t want to 🙃

The way I put this is also kinda cringe so I apologize 😓

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

TW: Self-harm, some talk of depression, and child abuse.

Note: It's not cringe, I like the idea. I needed some motivation anyway. I hope this is okay. :)

Living in the Todoroki family was rough. Y/n looks almost exactly like Enji with her medium-length, wavy, red hair and turquoise eyes. Her appearance led her siblings to subconsciously hate her. However, her parents were a lot more open about it. Enji hated y/n because she was just another failure. She had gotten a fire quirk, but it's weak. It's not something that Enji wanted. He only wanted the best. Rei didn't necessarily hate y/n. She was more scared of her. But it still felt like she hated her.

The days got harder and harder, and y/n was so lonely. She longed for affection from her siblings or her parents. It got harder to do basic things like brush her teeth or even just get dressed. Many nights, she would lay on the ground and think about how much better life could have been if she had just looked like Rei. Despite all of this, she coped well. Y/n was very good at pretending.

One day, y/n found herself in the bathroom. In her hand was a razor. She figured that maybe just a few cuts would help. She desperately needed a release. Y/n looked around before starting to make a cut. But before she even could think to hide it, she heard a familiar voice.

"What are you doing?"

Shoto said while standing in the doorway. He looked worried. Y/n couldn't remember a time when he looked worried for her wellbeing like this. In fact, she couldn't remember a time when any of her family was worried about her.

"Nothing!"

Y/n quickly exclaimed, trying to hide the wounds. Shoto just sighed and walked forward. He then, surprisingly enough, started helping her fix up her wounds. This was the first time she felt cared for. She felt happy in the moment.

"You know, you shouldn't hurt yourself like this."

Y/N looked at the ground in shame, she's was embarrassed. Suddenly, Shoto hugged her. He resented her, yes, but he couldn't let his sister get hurt. He still cared about her, and deep down, he knew that it wasn't her fault. He would have to just push those feelings aside for right now.

"Y/n, I do care about you. I don't want to see you like this. I love you, sister. You can talk to me when you start feeling down again, I'll listen."

Shoto hugged her, and you could see a tiny smile on his face.

"Let's go eat some dinner, okay. Fuyumi always makes good food."

Shoto said, and y/n smiled a bit. She felt better than before. Maybe things would start to get better?

[luvstruckmutt]

RANT ABOUT PEOPLES WEIRD ATTITUDE ABOUT SHANE STARDEW VALLEY INCOMING!!!

saw people complaining about shane today and saying he is a bad and awful husband and they divorced him after seeing his room and that he becomes boring after he starts getting therapy because the interesting thing about him is his struggle with addiction and after you "fix him" what's the point of being with him And just?? Why?? Did you even marry him?? Like?? I dunno, people are allowed to have opinions on characters but so many peoples' opinions are just?? Really bad and rooted deeply in ableism and misconceptions about mental health/addiction and are super saviory??

I have said this a thousand times but you can't fix people. That's literally not how people work. You can, however, be there for people and try and create a safe environment for them to be able to help themselves!! AND THATS EXACTLY EHAT FUCKING HAPPEMS IN STARDEW!! Shane gets help ON HIS OWN because he is being supported by both his family and the farmer. And to see that just fucking fly over peoples heads makes me so mad because DID WE PLAY THE SAME FUCLING GAME?? YOU DONT FIX SHIT!! YOU ACT AS PART OF A SUPPORT SYSTEM!! (Which is very important but like) YOU AS A SINGULAR PERSON CANT FIX PEOPLE!!

I also just hate the "I can fix them" attitude because, at least in this specific situation, the people saying this are the same people who divorce him because his room is ugly or because he is implied to relapse and still is depressed??? It feels like the same thing as when someone has "spread kindness!" or "love each other!" in their bio and then is the most rancid hateful person ever? The room thing in particular makes me mad because LIKE WHAT DID YUOU THINK IT WAS GOING TO LOOK LIKE?? YOU SAW HIS ROOM AT MARNIE'S, WHAT MADE YOU THINK HIS ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE WAS GOING TO BE ORGANIZED AND SPOTLESS???

Idk like, again, you can dislike Shane and even regret marrying him. He's not very nice to you until you really get his hearts up there so he comes off as rude and abrasive. You don't HAVE TO LIKE HIM!! But so many people just spout hateful shit and it's like god, I hope you never have anyone in your life who suffers from mental illness because even though Shane is a video game character, the stuff you're saying and the ideas you have surrounding addiction and mental health are super toxic and weird and I hope no real person ever has to be subjected to them.

edit (put this in the tags but then wanted to add it to the main post):

[novelconcepts]

84 for platonic vannat

84 - Falling Asleep On Their Shoulder

"You ever think about what our moms are doing?" Natalie asks one afternoon. Late summer has come up faster than any of them were hoping, and the forest has gone hazy with heat. She and Van are sitting by the creek, shoes off, feet in the water. If Natalie closes her eyes, she can almost imagine they're seated in shitty lawn chairs, up to the ankle in buckets of cold water.

"Probably making friendship bracelets." Van kicks her feet, watching the water swirl. "And charitable donations in our name. The usual."

Natalie dips her fingers into the creek, tracing a particularly attractive stone. She considers plucking it out, pocketing it. Discards the idea half a second later. The appeal of the stone is, after all, in being exactly where it is.

"Do you think they're okay?" she asks. It's all too easy to imagine her mother--already something of a trainwreck since the accident--fading away in the trailer. She wonders if anyone has thought to check in. Come knocking with a six-pack and a smile. She doubts it.

"Dunno." Van doesn't look at her. Her voice is perfectly neutral. She looks so little like the gleeful person Natalie's known since elementary school. So much more adult than she ought to.

So much more adult when she says, "Do we care?" She isn't joking. She says it idly, her eyes distant. They don't shine like they used to.

"I care," Natalie answers. She doesn't know how to shut it off. She wishes she could.

Van hums an indistinct response. She lays her head on Natalie's shoulder. "I know you do."

Van cares, too, Natalie is sure. If she didn't, she wouldn't have spent her childhood pulling Mrs. Palmer from the depths of whatever alcohol-soaked depression has that woman by the throat. Van cares, like she cares about the team out here--but that caring is colored by a certain kind of narrative. A certain kind of awareness as to how the story will go.

Van cares about that story most of all. She acts her part well, playing Lottie's games, but Natalie suspects she doesn't really believe in the religion they've constructed out here. Van's religion is stories. Always has been. Always will be. Van believes in the narrative, in arranging the plot points she can control and predicting the ones she can't.

She can't control her mother's narrative out here. Can't even see the shades of the genre in which Mrs. Palmer has trapped herself. So, Natalie figures she's thinking: what point is there in caring?

Van does care, but she doesn't care the way Natalie does. The way Natalie can't stop. She cares about it all: the team, and the dead, and her father's blown-apart face, and her mother's surrender to grief. She cares about every little thing so much, she sometimes thinks it's going to be the thing that kills her.

Van's head grows heavy on her shoulder. Natalie reaches up, trailing her fingers through tangled red hair. Van cares, but she can't care the way Natalie does. Maybe that's why Natalie's stuck wearing the crown, and Van's behind the scenes. Pulling the strings. Predicting the plot twists.

"I hope they're okay," she whispers to the creek, and the stones, and Van's gentle doze. If Van can't spare the energy, Natalie will hope it hard enough for both of them.