#dungeon master rants

[tomb-of-flora]

I just started running a new D&D campaign for the first time in a year. It's a space western with heavy fantasy horror elements. Basically trying to fuse the energy of Firefly/Cowboy Bebop's scrappy bounty hunters with Star Wars/The Locked Tomb's sprawling space empires, noble houses, and spooky space magic/undead abominations. The first session was last night and oh my god we are off to such a good start. The set-up for this campaign is just a cocktail of all my favorite things. I'm playing with four of my friends and I am so in love with their characters.

The party is a disgraced reporter that has to work for fantasy Buzzfeed now (rogue), a wide eyed debutant with dreams of writing a novel (fighter), a thri-kreen bounty hunter desperate for work who constantly tries and fails to keep his head down (artificer), and an extremely cursed gothic man scamming everyone he can as he flees to the edge of the galaxy (warlock). I kept the first session pretty chill just giving them a chance to interact and poke into the weird tension building on the train they were on (a train robbery that quickly turned into an intense haunting). I genuinely can't remember the last time I laughed so hard the party banter was so electric. They've really gotten me back into the flow of things I forgot how much I adore being a Dungeon Master. They take everything I put down and make it a thousand times better. I'm editing poetry today but my brain just keeps drifting back to the session and all the horrors I'll get to unleash on these broke gay space cowboys.

We had a deliberately lackluster interview between the reporter and the bounty hunter, the debutant got scammed twice within like thirty minutes, a robot got roughed up by cavalry guys, the characters drew horny fanart of each other in game, and now everyone is about to get eaten by space ghouls.

I can't say much about what's to come because I know some of the friends in this game will see this, so I just want to say: I'm sorry I filled the train with ghosts. Try not to die.

(I'm just rambling about my session at this point, but I had such a good time and I'm so excited to be back in the saddle as a DM. Also I'm so thrilled to get to channel my Locked Tomb obsession into something and this campaign has given me a lot of fuel)

EDIT: I ENDED UP MAKING A SIDEBLOG FOR THIS CAMPAIGN. @yeehaw-in-magic-space is where I'll be recounting details about each session and offering little drops of lore when I feel like it. I think this will be a fun side project and a great way for me to record the campaign for myself to look back on.

[harrywavycurly]

Hellooo my loves! I hate to even have to make this post but I need to so that y’all don’t have to message me about it anymore. I fully understand that a series about Eddie Munson being a serial killer isn’t for everyone, that’s why I put trigger warnings and tag it “tw: serial killers” and whatever other warning go along with the update I’m posting for the series. I knew when I decided to turn it into a full on fic that it wasn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay!

I understand if me writing it upsets you, I’m sorry if it means you have to unfollow me, I want you to do what’s best for you! With that being said, what I don’t need is messages in my inbox about how disappointed you are in me, how you have to unfollow because of this series, how I shouldn’t be writing about it and so on. Everyone likes what they like and reads what they want and I don’t want to make anyone ever feel bad for just enjoying a story.

Honestly I have seen fics about being in a relationships with Freddy Krueger and Ghostface on this site so adding serial killer Eddie Munson to the mix isn’t that far fetched. If you don’t like it? Simply don’t read it and keep scrolling until you find something you do want to read. I just hope you use the same amount of energy you’d use to send me a message about how much you hate my story to send that author a message about how much you enjoy theirs!💖

[grabby-hands-on-dragon-hoard]

As a DM, my players won’t be caught dead trusting narratively pertinent NPCs.

But fucking Tuck? The random fisherman I made up who caught a shark? They love him.

They straight up bully my narrative npcs, but everyone else? Cool.

[rychlostthespacewizard]

Wizard rant:

Why dont you fix this with magic? Why dont you fix that with magic? Oh come on, I cast spells not miracles! When you all have to memorize arrays of nonsense and repeat it every single moment just to have a chance to cast a spell, you will understand how hard it is to do this. And you know what? I am not a miracle worker, I am a wizard. I am not a god, I am a elf. This potions you ask me to make need I-N-G-R-E-D-I-E-N-T-S and I'm neck deep in debt with the apothecary near the Golden Oar because of this, maybe if you didn't run into battle like a band of babbling baffoons bickering 'bout who's the best, I wouldn't have to make so many potions!

And stop screaming while i'm concentrating on spells, this is already hard to not mess up, I have to keep repeating the incantations mentaly so you all don't get killed by the Goristro, and you all are screaming like a bunch of ghosts cursed with testicular torsion! And stop laughing you sorcerous scoundrel, you have to stop casting fireball at everything that moves, you're going to burn the whole forest down and then the druids will come after us again, and I don't want to be turned into a toad or eaten by a bear!

You are always so quick to throw magic and the thousands of rules at the wall thinking it's just "I cast heat metal" and "I flick my wand and you die" my equations aren't like your swords that you wave around and people drop dead, I had to take 12 hour classes for 70 years! Thats more than half of you can live!

I swear to the gods, if you all don't stop asking me to fix everything with magic, I'm going to turn you all into pigs and sell you to the butcher!

This party is not good for my health, I need a vacation. I'm going to the Feywild, and you all can go to the Nine Hells for all I care!

[broccolettuce]

Fellow dm’s, how would you react if you made a side quest for your players and throw in some clues and hints for the main plot, but your players act annoyed and do whatever they can to get to the next important place in the story even by stating that they are suddenly there?

For some context, my players are currently traveling to an npc’s house. They were sent a letter by one they really want to kill. That’s fair. He’s not a good person. They needed to get to his house though. However, they are on the opposite side of the kingdom. So, I made a side quest where they come across a cabin and meet the mayor of a town they’ve been at before. The session ended up falling around the same day that they met the mayor last year in real life time so I thought it would be a cute callback.

Anyways, the mayor claims her husband is acting strange and thinks he’s a changeling. After investigating, the players realize the twist: the mayor is the changeling. Once they kill the changeling, the husband who was made very ill asks the group to help him find his wife because she escaped into the woods. They of course huff and puff. To keep my players happy, I made this part short and simple. They then continue to a market in an open field.

When they travel, I like to ask if they do anything. They said they don’t want to and insist that we hurry up and continue. Luckily, they became a bit more interested during this section due to an npc that they watched die showing up alive. Well, two found it interesting. There’s one that never really does much. He makes comments about how he’s falling asleep, playing on his xbox, or doing something else. We voice chat on Discord, so I’m actually not sure if he’s joking or not. He also yells at me whenever he makes a bad roll.

They finish the market section. My plan was to have the nilbog show up again. They’ve met her a couple times now. She was going to drop another hint to an important plot point.

Basically, one of my players is the chosen of Lathander. She does not know this. They have met the chosen of Shar before. Plot twist, he was a priest of Lathander after losing his memory. At one point, the nilbog got on top of him to be at eye level with the others and said “The chosen of Shar is never far.” They later learned that he was the chosen of Shar a couple sessions later. I was going to have the nilbog do the same thing with that player and say Lathander instead and see if they catch it.

Anyways, instead they kept asking if they’re at the house yet. They kept complaining about stupid side quests. I had to stop for a moment and they continued to talk about this and that. Mostly stuff about the Lion King. I ended up telling them that they made it to the house and decided to stop the hints and any filler I had. I stopped the session there since I didn’t have anything else.

I’m not sure if I should be upset about it. I’m just going through a lot right now. Someone I’m close to is very sick and there’s other stuff.

TL;DR: I’m done with dnd. Time to speed run this campaign.

[eos-dazzle]

one of the coolest things to do as a DM when your players are the kind to create and be passionate about their backstories, is to take one player's details from the backstory they created, and give it to another unaware player, just as part of general world information. it's such an awesome moment when for the player that created the details to feel as what they created matters and is real in the world, and for the other player to realize and share their excitement when they inevitably find out how that originated.

if for some reason, you recognize the name "Sword Coast Limited" and aren't the dungeon master, please stop reading 😔

i had this experience as a player in a campaign a few months ago; my character was part of a cult of Zariel a few years ago, and they managed to escape by decimating the cult and killing most of its members. now, another PC is a reporter/detective, and when we all found a demon-related plot, she rolled to see if she knew anything about something that could help her out, and my DM, God bless them, talked about a mystery devil cult a few years ago that disappeared after their leaders had been murdered under strange circumstances; they were talking about ME and what I had written. It was awesome

please do this if your players like to be engaged in that way

[sixsticks]

Hey! Do you want to explain your campaign notes and/or hear some webcomic recs? I personally would enjoy both of those things.

You are literally the best person in the history of ever. My campaign is my baby I can and will talk about it for hours. Be warned this will be very long.

So the entire thing is set In a semi-modern fantasy world. With modern appliances that are powered magically (and non magically in some cases) The government is set up similarly to that of Naruto, in that different services are requested by people in the community,ranked by difficulty, and handed out to “ninja” but the ninja in this case are students. The head of the government however is closer to a bloodline monarchy, then the military dictatorship that is in Naruto.

Anyway this allows the players to get room outside of the school, and means I don’t have to develop full curriculums for these fuckers.

Additionally I altered the entire dnd class system to turn them into actual school classes. I had a blast making each individual one and defining how they interact and differ from one another.

Differing even further from traditional dnd is the magic system. Which brings up the topic of what inspired this campaign. A book called “upside down magic” by Sarah Mlynowski, Lauren Myracle, and Emily Jenkins. Specifically the first book being I never had the opportunity to read the rest the book series.

The magic system in the books lies in 5 main types of magic. (Fire, Flight, animal shifting, turning thing’s/people invisible, and talking to animals) and the conflict within those that don’t fit these boxes segmented by the society around them. Some of the traditional powers were altered or changed to better emphasize the fantasy vibes or to equal out power levels.

Many elements are taken from the book. But the most prominent being the magic. Restricted casting is applied to everyone, and the party members have “upside down” or abnormal magic. Some examples from their characters being; seeing ghosts, changing their physical appearance to match other people, communicating with animals (and people) telepathically, and more!

There’s also a lot of additional world building and plot stuff but this is already really long 😅 if you want any clarification or further information about it ask!

[heartheaded]

been taking L after L after L lately,,, promise I'll be here soon,,, work been testing me among other things irl lmao

[starry-teacup]

I'm 90% sure I told you about Jess' forms being Smaller around the hand because she feels safer when it's there (a detail I will never be normal about)

But just imagine The Hand finding out her forms are heavily effected by her mental state and emotions and trying to figure out why she's Small when it's around and then eventually (probably after just Asking) finding out why

The sillies

you did NOT tell me that. how could you have kept this from me for so long? And I thought we were friends, axe /jk

oh dear lord I am such a sucker for people who put on brave faces but let themself be weak in the presence of people they trust.

I feel like the hand sucks with emotions so if it ever figured that out it would never bring it up again. but whenever it noticed her shrinking a little when it's just the two of them it would feel this rush of pride. it makes her feel safe. it protects her.

I wonder if she still grows smaller that final meeting.

The sillies

[inkdragon42]

our GM (Pathfinder) had our LEVEL THREE PARTY encounter a FUCKING KRAKEN

we saved the two party members that it grabbed, fought it till it retreated, and all party members made it out alive

... we didn't level up (it's been 2-3 sessions since we leveled up)

plus, they'd kinda rushed us when we were RP-ing conversations, even tho we'd JUST gotten everyone back (three had been kidnapped by a demon/devil) had some CRAZY encounters, and a new party member jus before they'd been kidnapped

I love my friend, but I'm a wee bitty bit frustrated... this is their first campaign, and I know that, but still

[hexiflexi]

2nd to last session!

ok so today was a really... interesting session of EWW.

It started with the characters in a port town called Ayrith, where Teddy (a pc of a new player. He's from Iska and is an investigator) and Sora were talking with an npc called Rosie, one of Teddy's mom's friends. They had baklava together, while Eilo and Albus were hiding in a bush. We ended up skipping over most of their walk from Ayrith to Nastra Port (the city they're trying to get to to stop the Countess), but after that it did start getting a bit... annoying for myself as the dm. See the player for Eilo, while she's amazing at improvising and making dramatic moments, she has a need to make all the dramatic moments somehow related to her character, and often doesn't accept input from other players.

This became relevant when the party was fighting the mastermind bbeg (Countess Seramajor). Our newer pc, Teddy, was trying to make use of his skills (which I encouraged because the player is new), Eilo's player had her make a plan that involved her being the only one to fight the Countess, while sending the others to save the kid and run and hide. At this point, it was becoming a pattern with this player that I did something kind of petty; I didn't let her plan work. I fudged some rolls in the rest of the party's favor, and eventually let the bbeg succeed a little more than I originally intended, so that Eilo's plan wouldn't work. Again, not my proudest moment, but it did seem to make the rest of the party feel a little more satisfied with their work, so that's good.

Plot recap: The party fought merrow's in the straight between Iska and L'akem, each getting down to around half health. They made their way to Nastra Port, fought Albus's dad and Countess Seramajor (who had kidnapped Elwyn's sister), but found out that Elwyn had made a deal with the Countess in order to save her sister. The Countess managed to unlock the passageway to Halivaara, the home of the ancient storm giants.

[foreststairspreservationsociety]

A) There is an entire section of the rule book, and tens of thousands of videos online on how to be a competent GM your first time. Shockingly, the Mercers and Colvills of the world were not squirted into the world knowing how to run a TTRPG, and all had their first time.

Since these five players at least vaguely know each other (otherwise they wouldn't have made the request for a GM), they won't be dicks the first time one of them GMs!!! Being a first time GM can be scary, but do it scared!!!

Don't commit to a full campaign if that sounds overwhelming. Stick to a one-shot or an adventure that takes 2-3 sessions to complete. Walk before you run. If you're committed to DnD, Lost Mines of Phandelver from the intro box is perfect.

B) TTRPGs are co-operative by their nature, whether you're a GM or a Player. If you're consistently getting into arguments with your GM, there's something going wrong there. Furthermore, this problem won't get solved by bringing an outside party into the group as you're counting on this person to fit your groups non-confrontational play style.

C) There is no obligation for them to play DnD. If they want to play a game with a ton of house rules, wouldn't you want someone who already knows those house rules and assumptions rather than someone that came in relatively blind?

Which brings us back to OP's point. This sounds like not a great group to GM for because they seem unwilling to solve problems on their own. They don't want to put in the extra work to take the time to learn how to GM and just want to sit down and be spoon-fed an adventure that conforms to their tastes.

"Group of 5 players looking for a DM" What the hell is wrong with people, elect a mf to DM then?

[fungusgnat444]

Random König headcanons

SFW and NSFW also (don’t worry if you just want SFW everything is labeled), mentions of anxiety/poor self worth, autistic coded König, nerd könig, angst if you squint, mentions of size difference, mentions of a gun kink(nothing too fucked up I promise), könig wears a buttplug lol, Slight breeding kink, mentions of creampie, assumed unprotected sex (wrap it up tho fr), König being a lil freak in general honestly, kinda sub König in some parts but also some dom, afab femme reader, descriptions of anatomy(mostly him but a little about reader too),reader works with könig, I think that’s it

Real name: Jacob Schröder

Age:26 (born September 30th because I said so)

home town: Badgastein (it’s so pretty and snowy☺️)

appearance: 6”10, deep auburn curly hair, very pale with freckles, large, aquailine nose, super thick eyelashes and eyebrows, blue/green eyes (like mostly blue but with a little green)

SFW

Although he love physical touch his favourite love language is quality time and I can not be convinced otherwise. At first you thought it was a little creepy how he would just silently sit with you basically doing nothing but he genuinely likes just spending time with you. Sees you alone in the mess hall? Even if he’s already eaten he’ll just sit and watch you eat in silence. Reading a book? He’ll sit you in his lap and read over your shoulder (secretly thinks most of the books you read are garbage but he doesn’t really care). He honestly just likes that you’re there, you don’t even have to do anything lol. Likes physical affection too but in a more subtle way usually. Sometimes cuddling and making out or whatever overwhelms him and makes him feel claustrophobic. Most of the time he just likes holding your hand or having his hand resting on your thigh or playing with your hair while you have your head in his lap. Loves it when you play with his hair too, usually puts him to sleep.

speaking of which this man can and will sleep anywhere. On days he’s not working he’ll probably have to have at least one nap or he’ll get all grumpy. As much as you feel bad for him when he’s tired you have to admit he always looks so cute. All puffy eyed and pouty. Often forces you to nap with him even if you tell him you’re not tired. If you just wait for him to fall asleep and try to leave he’s immediately awake and holding you so tight you almost feel like you’ll pass out. He could sleep through an air raid but if you try to leave he’s on high alert. Also I fear because he’s broken his nose so many times, this man’s snoring will make your house shake.

I can’t explain why but I feel like he’s a massive nerd. Like has a protective glass case filled with warhammer 40k figurines, probably spent his entire live savings on a pc, camps out at stores when a new game is getting released, rants at you about the Halo lore type of nerd. also he’s definitely forced you to watch Star Trek and hates that the next generation is your favourites. Is definitely a dungeon master So if you show even the slightest interest in dnd our boy is stuttering, blushing, trying to get you to join his dnd group. Bitte schatz, I came up with a whole new campaign just for you🥺 you’ll like it I swear.

Although it might be a little toxic I definitely think he can be overly protective/possessive of you. Honestly you kind of like it but you know he only acts this way because he’s insecure. Making you sit in his lap when he has friends over so they know not to look at you to much, making you wear his jacket if you get too much attention in public and glaring at any man who walks past. You always know he’s feeling jealous when his pupils are like pin pricks and he’s breathing like a bull with his fists clenched. He’s gotten into fights a few times so you usually have to calm him down. He’s always super embarrassed and apologetic after. Buying you some expensive pretty thing so you don’t hate him. Even if you don’t care or kinda like it he always feels guilty. He feels guilty a lot in general with you. That such a pretty sweet girl is stuck with him. As such he doesn’t take compliments very well. Usually clenching his jaw and furrowing his thick brows while he mutters something passive aggressive to himself, “Scheiß lügner…”. Although if you keep saying the compliment and giving him attention he’ll eventually start believing you. Blushing and struggling to look at you.

Probably takes him quite a while to feel comfortable showing you his full face or even telling you his real name. Even once you’ve already seen it sometimes he still hides his face on days he’s feeling particularly insecure. Once before you’d seen his face you asked one of his friends, horangi, about it. He said they’d known each other almost a decade and he’d only seen his face a few times, most of which were accidental. König had a pretty miserable time as a teenager. He only really bulked out when he was about 17, right before he joined the military. Believe it or not he was pretty scrawny for most of his life. Once he said he used to be built like a lamppost. Before the military he was generally quite quiet and timid. He still is almost always very quiet. This in combination with his more nerdy interests and the fact that talking to a pretty girl for too long gave him a nosebleed made him a pretty easy target for bullies. He was always shy about his appearance but in the early days of his military career his self esteem plummeted when he got a face full of shrapnel during a mission. Luckily they got him to a medic fast but there’s only so much they could do. He hates the scars. Hates the attention. You’re the only person who’s ever made him feel better about it. Kissing every scar, cooing at him while he cries into your chest after another shitty day. Tell him you’re proud of him and how handsome he is. Even if he doesn’t believe it, he at least feels better knowing you believe it at least.

NSFW

He has barely any experience but he fucks with such desperation that it never ceases to make your legs shake. Loves folding you into whatever position he wants and just spearing you like a fish in a barrel, unable to move or escape. Can get a little too rough sometimes when he’s lost in the moment but the moment he sees any form of discomfort from you he whispering soft apologies in your ear and slowing his pace till he’s balls deep just gently grinding against you while he kisses away your tears. As much as he loves treating you like a rag doll. Deep down all he wants is to satisfy you. Sometimes he won’t even fuck you he’ll just eat you out for a few hours like he’s digging for gold. Love tasting you more than anything else. Especially when you’re overstimulated and clutching his empty head between your soft thighs like you’re trying to crush him.

this man is hung like a god. It’s almost too big. Every time it’s a struggle for you to take it all. The struggle only makes it hotter for him. Loves it when you look up at him all teary eyed, pouting because you’re disappointed you can’t fit anymore in. He loves making a mess of you and he’s so fucking good at it. But he’s just as much a mess for you too. Whimpering and panting like a dog with your hands around his neck. Begging you to let him fill you up with yet another load.

I feel like he probably has a few kinks that are a little obscure. Like he loves eating you out through a pair of tights, hearing them rip loudly in his tight grip right before he impales you. Wearing a buttplug while he’s fucking you makes his brain turn to sawdust. Sloppily plunging into you in doggy and drooling on your sweaty back from above. Letting you ride him, telling him he’s not allowed to move while you hold the barrel of one of his handguns against his forehead or stuffed in his mouth (it’s unloaded of course, he’s not actually insane). If you surprise him by pulling the trigger, that little clicking noise will have him gasping shakily and his eyes rolling back. The noises he makes are absolutely whorish. So desperate and loud and involuntary.

he loves aftercare both giving and receiving. After sex he’s just as fragile as you are. Usually shaking and panting for a good while as he peppers you in thousands of kisses. Loves having a bath with you after. You laying on his chest while he washes your hair for you. Always asks you if he did a good job. He’s like a puppy after he’ll do anything you ask.

German translations: “bitte schatz” please sweetheart. “Scheiß Lügner” fucking liar

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

🎲🖤 Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes 🎲🖤

Writing a little fic about the reader joining Hellfire after being kicked out of the original D&D group she's in, for reasons *cough (sexist arseholes)* and Eddie is literally in love with this feisty lady who interrupts the latest Hellfire campaign and asks to join the group, who's planned campaigns involving Vecna and has no trouble arguing with him if he's being a dick. (The latter might be in part two if people are interested)

Vecna who's Vecna? Eddie is alive and thriving in this fic. Also, I'm not 100% well-versed in D&D but I am learning, if I do part two I hope to include more into the plot.

The title is lyrics from Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift 💞

💞

"You can't just kick me out of the group," you say fuming as Ethan looks at you with pity.

"I'm the Dungeon Master so technically I can, the guys just think that you take playing a little less seriously than the rest of us" he lies straight to your face and the anger that is bubbling up inside of you threatens to explode.

"What! I literally built the last three campaigns because you couldn't come up with anything, I came up with the plan to defeat Vecna and...you glare at him, this is what it's about isn't it. You hate that I can come up with the ideas for campaigns and because I'm good at the game. Of all the idiotic, sexist bullshit...

Ethan blushes. "Look, I want to see if Eddie would let me and the guys join Hellfire and maybe he might let me DM sometimes but if he finds out that you helped make up most of them well...

So you're kicking me out to save yourself the apparent humiliation of a girl being better at D&D than you are" he flushes pink and glares at you.

"Whatever. We'll be fine without you. Good riddance" he storms off by that point leaving you alone and tearful. You're just so pissed that you have to leave the group, leave something you love playing.

There's a gentle pressure on your shoulder and you find Robin looking at you concerned. "What was that about? Did he do something to hurt you? I could ask Steve to kick his ass, unless you want to kick his ass yourself which is great and all and...

She stops talking when she sees one silent tear run down your cheek which you wipe away furiously, nope you will not cry because of that gargoyle Ethan.

"Robin breathe, and yeah I'm okay. I mean I will be" you explain everything that happened and by the end Robin is as angry as you are.

"He can't just kick you out, what a douchebag, how exactly is he going to explain away the fact he has no amazing ideas for campaigns without you there?

You should talk to Eddie and join Hellfire yourself, he's actually a nice guy well according to the Steve's child/brother friend. The dingus is jealous of Eddie which is kind of sweet and hilarious..." She cuts off her rant at the growing smile on your face.

"Oh no, I know that look" you grin widens and you link arms with Robin. Yes you'll join Eddie and expose Ethan for the slimy ass that he is.

❤️

With the idea in mind you decide to ask Eddie before Hellfire starts but instead find yourself walking into a session which is in full swing. Well shit. Way to make a good impression...

Eddie stops talking, he's in the middle of the campaign, just at the part where a group of rogue trolls have invaded the party and turned the gathering of friends at a tavern into a fight for survival.

"Yes... Uh cheerleader tryouts are the other way sweetheart" You scoff and raise your eyebrows at him.

"Do I look like a cheerleader to you? I'm sorry to interrupt. I wanted to catch you before you started the session, I was wondering if I could join Hellfire?"

You know Jeff from being in drama with him and he's the first to say, "Uh aren't you in that group with Ethan and George?" You shake your head.

"I was. Until they kicked me out" Eddie's big brown eyes widened and the annoyed expression was wiped from his face, he ignored the complaints of some of the freshmen and motioned you to explain.

"Ethan kicked me out because he's an arrogant, sexist troll" one of the freshmen groans and gestures widely to Eddie.

"Dude, can we hurry up and continue with the session" Eddie holds a hand up to quieten him and stares at you his eyes filled with grudging curiosity.

"Why did he kick you out?" You frown and the anger returns at Ethan and his betrayal.

"Because he wants to join up with you and impress you with his amazing DM skills which are a load of shit. He didn't even organise the last three campaigns, I did. He liked to use all of my ideas but won't have me blow his chances of pretending he's something he isn't" there's silence and Eddie looks impressed.

There's also something else in his expression that makes your stomach feel like it's doing somersaults but you can examine that later.

"So you're here to join instead before the little weasel does. Beat him at his own game huh sweetheart?" you nod and he smiles, all dimples.

"Well yeah basically, I love D&D but I also want to annoy the hell out of the asshole as well, he's just pissed that I came up with a campaign for Vecna and doesn't want me showing you how much he doesn't do for his own group" you finish your rant and wait for his answer.

Eddie's smiling by the end of your rant and gestures you over to the group.

"I like you, you can sit in and watch this session because we're more than halfway through but I'm happy for you to join the group and our next meeting. You can tell me about your stats and character after the session is over"

Thrilled you walk over to the table and Eddie barks at one of the guys to move so you're standing right beside him.

It was so not time for your heart to be doing its own version of a mini-marathon at the mere sight of Eddie's big brown eyes capturing yours. Fuck, you did not have time for whatever this was. You were here to battle dragons, defeat trolls (in real life as well) and be a badass.

Crushing on Eddie Munson would have to wait.

❤️

Eddie is definitely planning on killing Wheeler's character in the next session. He glares as Mini Wheeler finishes his rant about last night.

"You know it's so gross the way you were mooning over her all night right? Make it more obvious that you have a crush on her dude" he whines and Eddie scowls which seems to snap Mike out of his constant whining.

"I was not mooning Wheeler. I was impressed with the way she knew what she wanted and went for it, she will be a valuable asset to Hellfire"

Gareth hides a laugh as he continues eating and Eddie redirects his glare to his friend. "Anything to say Gareth the Great?" Gareth stops laughing at once but still looks amused.

"Dude, you were totally mooning over her, I think someone's in love" Eddie can feel the heat rise on his cheeks and scoffs, how dare Gareth make such an idiotic assumption.

"Love? I don't believe in love dude. This heart is far too cynical for any of that shit. I was just intrigued that's all" he's ready to fully rant when he sees you and his heart skips a beat, argument dying in his throat and his knees turn to jelly.

"Yeah be more obvious Munson" Jeff sniggers which causes Gareth to nearly choke on his sandwich.

Okay, scratch that. He's killing Gareth and Jeff's characters too.

💞

As you walk into the cafeteria the next day you avoid your usual table and head straight for Hellfire.

You wave cheerily over at Ethan and the guys and smirk at their thunderous expressions. Eddie snorts but when you look at him there's no trace of his previous amusement as he mentions the next Hellfire session will be tomorrow.

You're distracted by Ethan glowering in your direction, his arms folded as he snaps at Dean. There's a soft pressure on your hand and you look down to find Eddie's hand touching yours, it gets your attention immediately.

"We can go over your character tonight yeah? There's a spark between the two of you, it lingers in the air and your heart kicks up a notch as Eddie lets out a little groan.

He clears his throat and moves his hand away, you hide how flustered you are as he begins to talk about the new campaign but every so often his gaze meets yours and the same level of intrigue is in his gaze as you feel for him.

💞

"Lady Emmeline is an elven princess who ran away from her duties when her parents tried to marry her off to a vile prince, she's proficient with a bow and arrow but her real talent is swordsmanship, she's intelligent, brave and bold but can be impulsive and hotheaded if provoked" you read out to Eddie who nods.

"Was she your character in your old D&D group?" Eddie asks and you nod, leaning closer to him as he pulls out his notebook. It's chock-full of ideas for campaigns and drawings, being so near Eddie is playing havoc with your concentration.

He smells like leather, the faintest hint of smoke and whatever cologne he's using. It's woody and smells divine. The softness of his usually loud voice and his big Bambi eyes are distracting. It wouldn't bother you so much or at least you'd try to avoid it but the way you catch Eddie looking at you sometimes makes you melt.

It's ridiculous because you've never felt this way before about anybody but now it's happened it's overwhelming and intense.

"Nice tattoo" you murmur and he smiles as you nod to the bats and the Wyvern. "I have more" he pulls down his Hellfire shirt and you can see a black widow spider and a glimpse of a demon.

Very gently you trace a finger over one of the bats on his forearm, Eddie's breath hitches and you curse yourself for possibly freaking him out. "Sorry," you murmur and chance a peek at his expression. It's filled with longing.

"Don't be sorry princess" he's hesitant at first but then after a moment you feel his fingers trace soft patterns over your hand. The feel of his fingers on your skin is amazing and it makes you shiver in a good way.

His eyes drop down to your lips and the two of you move closer instinctively until you're both mere inches apart.

And that's when Dustin barrels in speaking a mile a minute and you and Eddie jump apart at the interruption.

Fuck.

[walkingzombiegirl]

"If you go, you'll die." She said seriously, staring deep into your eyes while the room around you both stood still. "And if I roll a twenty?" Ellie blinked, looking down at her sheets before peering up at you through her lashes.

"Best scenario... it lets you pass." She squinted her eyes, a promise of something else behind her words. "Any other number will kill me unless I leave?" Ellie nodded her head at your question, watching you pick up the hot pink sparkly dice with little to no confidence.

The gears turned in your mind while her emerald eyes rested softly on yours. No matter what move you made, she'd end up giving you an extra life, or an extra chance. Call it a lovers bonus because no matter how many dungeon masters groaned when they heard her joke about the endless lives you held, she never seemed to retire it.

You then rolled the dice, taking the chance and crossing your polished fingers muttering out a few 'pleases' along the way.

A perfect... nineteen.

"You've gotta be kidding me." She watched you groan, head tilting back as you kicked your foot out. "Just kill me already."

"The orc yells in anger at your pure act of disrespect..." She began creeping across the floor, slowly rounding the coffee table towards your seated body, "He sees it as an act of battle, and raising his weapon, he swings down!"

She jumps on you, your laughter intertwining as she began to tickle your sides, "And chops your head off in one swing."

"Not my head! Pl-please!" Tears pricked your eyes as you tried to push her hands away, your cheeks aching from the grin etched cross your lips. "Please, I'm too pretty to die!" "The orc roars, watching your poor, pretty decapitated head roll away."

You tried again and again to roll away from her, shaking your head.

"I should've flirted with him!" Ellie gasped, almost 'offended' at your harem. "And cheat on your totally not fictional knight girlfriend? You're awful at this." "It would've been fake! She would understand!" Ellie shook her head, pretending to look across the table at her notes. "It says right there she would've banished you."

She continued to rant, and as you gazed up at her from the floor, each freckle making an appearance in the lamplight. You wondered if you and her were like this in every universe. Happy. Together. Whether knights, aliens or just like this. Soulmates.

Spoiler: You're not.

[moon-mpballz]

Thistle post dungeon antics phone doodles :P

DUNGEON MESHI SPOILERS CUZ I WANNA RANT!!!

Y’know how Mithrun, while also being a dungeon master that has lost all his desires, still had one desire left for vengeance against demons? Do you think Thistle would have a desire to still help the golden country? Of course it probably wouldn’t be as all encompassing as it was before because of the winged lion but without that desire, what is left of him?

Also that ghost at the end is Delgal lol, Ik Yaad pretended to be him at the end to give him some sort of peace of mind but I don’t think that lie would have lasted long. He would have found out the truth eventually and then what? He’ll be stuck at square one thinking of what the real Delgal truly thought of him at the end of his life.

HES FULL OF ANGST AND I LOVE HIM BUT PLZ TAKE A NAP. IMPLENT THOSE NAPS DAILY YOU CLEARLY NEED IT