#dumping my thoughts. sorry. they plague me

[umemiyan]

sometimes i can’t decide if i need to curate my experience with things or if i’m just being an intolerant bitch who needs to do better LOL

[porcelainvino]

i’m sorry for the person i will become when arcane season 2 comes out

[elasticbeach]

Please tell me you are writing a part 3 to the breaking up with Shanks and it ends with a fluffy happy family

Part 3/ Breaking up with Shanks but realizing you still have feelings for him

Yall I didn’t even realise that I haven’t posted this 💀 this has been sitting in my drafts for waay too long, anyways thank you all for all the positive feedback, I feel like this part is written better than the first two. Anyways enjoy reading!

Warnings: None

Part 1/Part 2/ Part 3

You were standing in the kitchen while your little girl was having her usual afternoon nap, you were baking muffins just because, everyone loves muffins right? Actually your nerves were driving you crazy with every passing second and baking seemed to ease your nerves a little. Your mind raced with questions. Will there be a knock on your door? Or will the door be smashed entirely? Will he take your baby away from you? Will he even show up? Did he get scared and just decided to dump you entirely? Too many questions plagued your mind and while you stared outside the window deep in thought a knock brought you back to reality. Your head snapped at the sound of gentle knocks and your heart started racing. Slow steps getting you to the door, standing in front of it you were pretty sure your heart would explode as your heartbeat hammered loudly in your ears. Slowly you opened the door just to reveal the old lady next door. At this point this whole situation slowly started driving you mad. You had never experienced paranoia like this and had no idea how to deal with anxiety like that. After the lady left, you went to check on your daughter. She was peacefully sleeping in her crib, kneeling down next to her you brushed a few of her red locks out of her face. She really went after him, huh? you thought. Life still did not feel real, even when your daughter was born. you still felt like that young girl who just wanted some love and adventure. tears formed at the corners of your eyes, you miss him so much, it hurts.

A few days later you were laying on the beach trying to enjoy some sun while your daughter slept under the small tent you put up. Your mind did clear a bit at the ocean breeze and the warm sun tanning your skin. You almost fell asleep yourself, till you heard it "PIRATES!!" someone screamed in panic. You quickly sat up and looked at the horizont, that’s when you saw it, his ship. The ship you spent years on, before settling down. You quickly put a robe over your body and grabbed your daughter, you didnt even bother standing uo or trying to flee. Just pressing her against you and closing your eyes, anticipating the worst. A few minutes passed, you were too afraid to open your eyes. You heard steps approaching and thats when you opened your eyes. "Long time no see, ____" you sighed to embarrassed to even look his way. You heard him coming closer. "Please dont take her from me.." you whispered in a weak voice. You heard him sit down next to you. "I would never." he said in a serious tone and thats when you finally looked at him. His face carried a frown while his eyes showed sadness. He was hurt you could tell, tears formed once again. "Im so sorry..I really am." You said and sobbed. “Shh” He immediately started calming you down while rubbing your shoulder. You sobbed again before sniffing and calming your nerves a little, you looked at Shanks again. “You’re still just as beautiful.” He said with that smile of his, no mischief or lie in his eyes. It was the first thing he decided to say, nothing about the daughter and not how mad or disappointed he is but this. He called you beautiful, making you tear up again. He chuckled “Stop crying, you always make that funny face when you cry.” That made you chuckle a bit making you sniff and carefully hand him his daughter. Without a word he took the little girl looking at her little face. The little girl was inspecting her father for a few seconds before crying and wiggling, scared of the unfamiliar man. “I’m sorry, should’ve called earlier.” You started as he handed you your daughter with a light smile, as you started rocking the infant you continued to speak “ I was just so scared, I didn’t think it was necessary. No, that’s wrong..I was sceptical if you would even care you know? And it was just nerve wracking, because what if you took her from me??” You started sobbing troughout half of your monologue. “Calm down now you two crybabies.” He interrupted you with a smirk. “How come the two most important women of my life are crying because of me?” He chuckled a bit, again loosening the atmosphere again. “I’m sorry” You repeated, sobbing and wiping your tears with your shoulder, still having your daughter in your arms. Her crying stopped by now and she was inspecting Shanks from a distance now. “It’s okay.” Shanks says smiling at his daughter and then at you. “Must’ve been scary going trough all of this alone?” Shanks asks and you nod. You two spend up to three hours talking about casual stuff, him telling you about the adventures you missed. You telling him everything he missed of his daughters life and said daughter warming up to her daddy enjoying his company.

“I’ll walk you to your home.” Shanks said as you started packing. You didn’t even try to protest, because you know you want him to. You want his affection and attention, want him to stay. Forever. “Thanks” You flash him a smile before laying your daughter in her crib and the two of you start walking. And this image of the two of you, it brings you peace. It feels so normal, so natural. You probably look like a normal family walking back from the beach, everything feels so right, if only it had been like that since the first day. Your thoughts are interrupted by his voice. “So how are we handeling this whole situation?” You shrug, really not having a clue how to answer “I’m definitely not taking the two of you onto the ship, that’s way too dangerous. Just stay here, I will visit from time to time. You should call me more often, I want to hear more about your life. Maybe we aren’t lovers anymore, but we should at least keep in touch, we do have a kid together.” He chuckles after the statement, most definitely hiding how he actually feels, you know him too well to not notice. “Yeah, sounds good.” You reply, because you know that it’s over for the two of you. Even if he still loves you how could he possibly still want to be with you, a liar and coward that doesn’t even know what she wants.

Back home you bathe your daughter together and then you rock her asleep. As you slowly close the door to the nursery and walk to the kitchen he’s already waiting at the door. “Well, I think I will get going for now let’s meet tomorrow again, with the crew as well.” He rubs his neck as he speaks “I thought you were staying dor dinner” your voice getting more quiet troughout your statement. “I can stay??” He seems surprised and happily sits down at the dinnig table. You smile a bit and start preparing something small for the two of you. Dinner is nice, you talk a bit here and there but it’s mostly quiet, not an awkward quiet more of a enjoying each other’s company quiet. You would look up a few times, looking at his strong hands as he cuts the meat or how he licks his lips after each bite. You would lie if you said you didn’t miss the way his hands touched you or the way his lips kissed you and licked-. You stopped yourself right there, these times were long gone. You shoud just stop thinking about him in this way, he’s just the father of your daughter, you ex-boyfriend that YOU broke up with. “You alright?” You look up a bit confused. “You haven’t touched the food in like a minute just staring at it.” He looks at you just as confused. “I was just lost in thought, sorry.” You crack a smile and keep eating. You two finish eating in silence and he helps you clean up after.

“Well, see you tomorrow then?” He says as he steps over the door step. “Yeah.” You look up at him. You two look in each others eyes, seeing the desire, the love for each other. He leans down and presses a quick kiss on your cheeck. “Goodnight” He smiles. “Goodnight.” You smile back and close the door, you lean against the closed door and slide it down smiling like a fool.

The next morning you woke up a bit late. Your daughter was crying all night so you didn’t get all that much sleep. Rubbing your face with cold water you hear a knock. Drying your face and walking over to the door you slowly open expecting Shanks. As he looks upon your figure he immediately notices your tired appearance, while you still wear your Pjs. “You alright?” He asks as he steps inside. “Do I look that bad?” You chuckle a bit closing the door behind him. “No, not really. Just a bit..worn out.” The two of you chuckle. You lead Shanks to his daughter that is still asleep in your bed, since she refused to sleep away from you. “Look at her, didn’t let you sleep all night and now she’s snoozing away.” You smile at his statement, seeing how lovingly he looks at his daughter. “I wish I would’ve seen more of her and you..pregnant.” He looks over at you. You two share neutral expressions as you look at each other, both of you unsure how to handle the situation. You look down at the floor and sigh. “Look, I’m really sorry about everything-“ “Don’t, I understand.” He interrupts you. “No, please let me finish. Just listen to me please.” You sigh again and start talking. “I did NOT know of my pregnancy when I left and that wasn’t the reason I left. I just always dreamed of domestic life, but I also always knew that with you it would be impossible. But I don’t know what’s gotten into me when I left I was I don’t know..” You take a short pause to swallow the lump in your throat. “Maybe it were the pregnancy hormones or whatever but I need you to know that. I still love you and never stopped, I thought it was the better thing for me to leave and try to forget you but how could I? You are the love of my life Shanks. I don’t know if you could ever forgive me for taking your daughter from you, but I just need you to know that I love you. I never stopped loving you.” Tears stain your cheeks by the time you are finished and when you sob and look up you see him standing in front of you. The two of you fall into a long embrace. Hugging each other, with you just crying into his shirt. “Now calm down, I never stopped loving you either.” The two of you keep on hugging. He then pushes you away a bit just to capture your lips in a long kiss. You never felt so much joy in your life as his lips touched yours, everything else didn’t seem important anymore and you just forgot about those months of separation in this moment. You two parted for air and looked into each others eyes when suddenly a crying noise from your daughter captures your attention. “I will take care of her in the living room, get some sleep.” He smiled and wiped some of your tears. “I love you Shanks.” “I love you too.”

Repost are appreciated <3

[hannieslittlerockstar]

The Spooks

Word Count: 4.5K

Genre: Lee Minho x reader, fluff, established relationship

Summary: You make a bet with Seungmin that you'll watch an entire horror movie this Halloween, the only problem is....you hate horror.

Author note: Hey guys, I'm so sorry this came out so late. I started an internship at the beginning of this year that has kept me super busy and I'm a perfectionist so it took me longer to edit this than I would have liked. Thanks for still sticking around and reading my stuff. Much love!

Your feet stomp across the kitchen tiles as you grumble, "I'm coming. I’m coming.”

Opening the microwave door, you silence the obnoxious ringing as the sweet smell of popcorn wafts into the kitchen. Grabbing the bag by the edges, you gently set it onto the counter. As you stand on your tiptoes, you open the wooden cupboard beside you and scan through the different colored bowls neatly stacked inside. Picking out your favorite one, you pull out a teal bowl painted with little susuwataries Hyunjin made for Felix’s birthday last year. 

You find yourself smiling at the fond memory. That night had definitely been a highlight of 2022 for everyone. You’d all grown a little closer while you sat around the bonfire at the beach that night. The nine of you sharing heartfelt feelings, embarrassing stories and laughter with flushed, rosy cheeks from the alcohol. You wished you could go back to the good ol days when your only worries were school assignments and monthly dance and singing evaluations. 

Tugging the bag open, you watch the steam form wispy clouds that swirl about before dispersing into thin air. A small smile tugs at your lips as you peek inside the bag. Perfectly white, crisped kernels look up at you before you dump the contents into the bowl, proudly making your way back into the living room.

You find Minho sitting on the edge of the couch leaning forward with his arms propped onto his knees. The remote practically dangles from his fingers as he lets out a dramatic sigh. Ruffling his black hair, he pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he continues to scroll through the endless list of movies on Netflix.

“Sooo,” you start, throwing some popcorn into your mouth as you plop down beside him. “What are we going to watch tonight?" 

Turning to face you, the deep furrow in Minho’s eyebrows softens into a warm smile as he falls back onto the couch. Casually slinging his arm around you, his other hand grabs a handful of popcorn. In between chews he says, "I was thinking we could watch a horror movie in honor of it being Halloween."

He redirects his gaze towards the TV screen as he finds the horror section. You nearly choke on your popcorn, forcefully gulping down the popped kernel. The ends claw its way down the sides of your throat as if it were desperately trying to escape the clutches of your stomach. Just like you desperately wanted a way out of this situation. Clearing your throat, you mutter a soft, “Horror?”

"Yeah.” He turns to face you. "Is that okay?"

"Um, you know what," you place the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. “I’m feeling pretty tired.” Feigning a yawn you stretch out your arms. “I think I should start heading home. Sorry Min, we'll have to anot—.”

But before you can even properly stand up, Minho grabs you by the waist and pulls you back down beside him. Curse Minho and his quick reflexes. 

"Yah," he playfully scolds, his tone sending a shiver down your spine as his hands hold your arms in place. "You can’t be tired. You were just dancing and belting the lyrics to ‘Pop!’ while you waited for the popcorn. And then you started the full ‘Super’ choreo. You said you had so much energy you didn’t know what to do with yourself.”

You blink back in surprise at Minho. So he had been paying attention to you earlier despite his nonchalance. Shaking away the swooning thoughts plaguing your mind, you redirect your attention back to the conversation. “Well,” you huff, recomposing yourself. “I figured out where to put my energy and now I’m drained.”

“What about your bet with Kim Seungmin? Weren’t you going to prove him wrong and sit through an entire horror film this Halloween?”

You were about to correct him that it was the only way to make Seungmin stop calling you a chicken but you swallow your pride as Minho’s eyes pin you in place. “Secondly,” his gaze softens as he looks between your eyes, a sharp contrast to the firm hands still securely wrapped around both your arms. “I wanted to spend this Halloween with you, not by myself."

Your heart can't help but flutter at his words before erratically beating in fear as you glance back at the screen. "Uh, well. I mean. I guess if you don’t want to be alon—.”

Minho cocks his head. ”Are you scared?" he mocks you as a teasing smile spreads across his lips.

"Me? Scared?" you scoff. "I don’t get scared that easily,” you retort before slowly sinking further into the couch, regretting what was yet to come.

"If you say so," Minho chuckles. "In that case, I'll make sure to pick the scariest movie" he adds as his eyes study yours intently.

Biting your lip, you stubbornly reply, "That’s fine. I can handle it."

His eyes twinkle in amusement as he cocks up an eyebrow. "Okay. How about…," he pauses as he continues to scroll through the list of movies.

The images start to become even more terrifying than the ones before and you find yourself looking g around the room just to avoid the screen.

"Ah! How about this one?" Minho points at the TV excitedly.

"The Medium?" you squint as you try to read the title without looking at the overall image.

He turns to face you, the skin around his eyes crinkling as a wide bunny smile emerges. "I haven't watched it yet.”

You swallow hard as you force yourself to look at the ominous woman smiling on the screen before redirecting your gaze towards Minho. If that was something he really wanted to watch, you couldn't ruin his Halloween just because you were slightly scared. Sucking up your fear, you reluctantly agree to his proposition. 

"Yeaaahhh!" Minho cheers as he stuffs his mouth with more popcorn before jumping up from the couch. "I'll go turn off the lights," he smiles with puffed cheeks as he practically skips over to the light switch.

"Yeah, let's turn off the lights too. As if the movie isn't scary enough," you mutter in annoyance as you quickly get up to grab a soft, fluffy blanket stored in a small basket near the couch.

Curling up onto the sofa, you make sure the soft blanket covers every bit of your body so that none of your limbs get left out in the open. You didn't want to risk being vulnerable to any sneak attacks of otherworldly creatures during the duration of the film. Minho comes back and sits beside you. "You look like a burrito," he comments.

"Yah!" you slap his chest, breaking free from the perfect cocoon you had created.

Letting out a lighthearted chuckle, he adds, "a cute burrito," before affectionately placing a kiss onto your forehead.

"Whatever," you playfully roll your eyes as you feel a familiar warmth spread across your cheeks. 

Snuggling up into his chest, he drapes his arm over your back as his hand comfortably rests against your waist. As soon as the opening starts, a loud clash from the orchestra playing in the background makes you jump. Cursing your jittery state, you pray Minho didn't notice. But of course, he always seemed to catch you in your most vulnerable moments.

"The movie hasn't even started yet and you're already jumpy?" he teases, pulling you closer.

"Shut up," you huff, adjusting your head onto his chest as you mentally prepare your palpitating heart for whatever else this movie was about to throw your way. The popcorn could wait. 

As the storyline progresses, you subtly begin to pull the blanket higher and higher up your chest. Once you were, what you hoped was a decent way into the film, the blanket was practically resting underneath your eyes. When you can’t handle it any longer, you pull the blanket entirely over your head. It didn’t matter if Minho never let you live this down. If staying under the blanket meant you had a chance at sleeping through half the night, then it was worth every teasing remark he’d throw your way for the next few months. 

Oddly enough, he remains silent. The only sound from outside your little safe haven is the worried voices whispering back and forth on the TV. 

You slowly peek your head out from beneath the blanket, expecting Minho to be smirking down at you. However, to your surprise, he’s completely engrossed in the film. His eyes widen at the images flashing about the screen as his lips slowly part in shock.

Momentarily forgetting why you were hiding underneath the blanket in the first place, you find it difficult to look away from Minho's cute, dazed state. You can’t help but be reminded of how handsome your boyfriend truly is. Your eyes slowly trace his features as you admire the way his bangs fall over his eyes, the way his nose cutely scrunches up in disapproval at what you could only assume was a character doing something stupid, and the adorable way his lips protrude into a slight frown. 

Feeling your gaze, his eyes slowly meet yours. You feel your breath softly hitch in your throat. An endearing smile tugs at Minho’s lips as he watches your cheeks flush a bright red. “Why aren’t you watching the movie?” he teases. “Can’t get enough of me?” He wiggles his eyebrows. 

“You make me feel safe,” you blurt out honestly. 

Minho’s eyes slightly widen as he feels his ears grow warm. However, as always, he’s quick to recover his composure. His signature playful smile tugs at his lips. “If you think that’s going to get you out of watching the movie, you’ll have to try a little harder.”

“I’m not trying to—,” an unexpected scream from the film makes you jump. 

Without a second thought, you crawl onto his lap and bury your face into the crook of his neck. The thought of defending your pride flying out the window. Minho, surprised at your sudden reaction, looks down at your shaking figure as you tightly clutch onto his shirt. As the music grows even more eerie, your arms find their way around his torso begging to be held and protected from the horrifying images behind you.

"What happened to not being scared?" he whispers into your hair, a playful smile adorning his lips.

Looking up at him, you push back the sudden tears stinging your eyes as you muster up all the courage you can. "I'm not...SCARED!" your voice hitches as another loud screech emits from the TV causing you to find comfort in his chest once again.

Minho chuckles to himself as he tightly wraps his strong arms around you. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he leans down, his soft lips brushing against your cheek. "I'll protect you 자기야 (baby)," he whispers. 

The unexpected deep tone of his voice sends your stomach into a frenzy of butterflies as your already alarmingly quick heart rate speeds up. And Minho is true to his word. As the film continues, his grip never loosens around your waist as he mindlessly draws shapes across your lower back. His actions lull you into a sleepy state as Minho’s steady heartbeat pats a familiar lullaby against your ear.

An hour and a half later, you don’t stir until Minho whispers in a sweet tone, “Y/N."

"Hmm," you respond, not bothering to open your eyes in fear that you might see your new nightmares within the dark shadows of the house.

“Did you enjoy your little nap?”

You let out a soft scoff. “It’s hard to fall asleep with a soundtrack like that,” you mutter bitterly. 

"Well, now that you’ve had your beauty rest, why don’t you let me turn on the lights," he says, a hint of amusement in his voice. 

You vigorously shake your head, refusing to move. 

Minho lets out a sigh before effortlessly picking you up with him as he slowly walks around the couch. One hand fumbles about the wall in search of the light switch as the other firmly grasps your wrapped form around his waist. Flipping it on, the room is engulfed with a bright light. You finally lift your head up, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as you loosen your grip and gently slide to the ground. You keep your arms loosely around Minho’s waist, refusing to give up the protection of his body. 

“You’ll have to let go of me eventually, Y/N,” Minho says with a smug grin. 

“Well, eventually is not right now,” you stubbornly reply back.

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

The color immediately drains from your face as you feel a wave of guilt wash over you. “Do you actually have to go?” you meekly ask.

“What if I did?” Minho bites back a smile, an amused glint in his eyes. 

You let out a deep sigh as you reluctantly take a step back. “I guess I’ll be brave then.”

“That’s not what Kim Seungmin is going to think.”

Your eyes narrow. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh,” Minho leans down so that you’re both eye level with one another. “But I would,” he devilishly grins. 

Crossing your arms, you glare back at him. “I hate you.”

Straightening up, Minho gives you a knowing smile.

“What?” you grumble. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Minho teasingly shrugs. “It’s just that, that’s not what it looked like on the couch earlier,” he says, a smug grin tugging at his lips.

You bite back a smile as you roll your eyes. “Whatever. I’m not doing this anymore. Are you going to go to the bathroom or not?”

Minho dramatically taps his chin in thought. “I think I’ve changed my mind.” Pulling out his phone from his back pocket he continues, “I think I’m going to let Kim Seungmin know how it went instead.”

Before you can even protest, Minho's phone buzzes. “Speak of the devil. He’s asking for an update.”

Panic settles in as he dangles the phone in front of you. You reach out to grab it but Minho’s one step ahead of you, easily avoiding your grasp as you begin to chase him around the room. 

“Min, get back here,” you laugh as he sprints to the other side of the couch. 

“What was all that talk of ‘just you wait, Seungmin. I’m going to watch my first horror movie this year and prove you wrong’?” he mocks you as you throw a pillow his way. Dodging behind the couch, he re-emerges as he bursts into a fit of giggles. 

“Yah!” you protest. “I said I wasn’t scared!” you add, knowing full well that this was in no way helping your argument. 

“Really? ‘Cause the ‘I’m not…SCARED’,” Minho imitates you in a high-pitched voice, “was so convincing.” He bursts into laughter as your shocked expression turns into an irritated scowl.

“I wasn’t that scared,” you argue, unable to stop the smile from spreading across your face. 

He had done a pretty good job imitating you, although, you’d never openly admit that. Just as Minho dodges you again, you let out a tired sigh. “Come on, Min. Please don’t tell him.”

“And why’s that?” Minho snickers. “Are you finally admitting you lost the bet?”

You close your eyes as you muster up the will to swallow your pride. “Yes. I am.”

Minho’s lips part in surprise as he leans against the wall clearly amused with the turn of events. 

“It would hurt my pride even more if he heard it from you. So let me tell Seungmin myself.”

Minho’s eyes look up as he thinks the proposition over. “콜(deal).”

You sigh in relief. 

“You think you can handle losing though?” he cocks an eyebrow at you.

His choice of words jab at your pride even more. Minho knows how competitive you are, he’s the exact same way. He’d do anything to avoid giving Seungmin the satisfaction of having bragging rights over him for a month. So he can’t help but be piqued by the way you give in so easily.

“A bet’s a bet. I lost so I’ll own up to it,” you nod, determined. 

“Oohhh, that’s my baby,” Minho winks at you.

You feel your cheeks flush at the pet name, but your expression quickly sours as Minho sing-songs, “Can’t wait for later tonight.”

You roll your eyes as Minho lets out a light-hearted chuckle. Putting his phone away, he walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist. The change in demeanor completely catches you off guard as Minho leans down and plants a soft kiss on your forehead. “알았어 (Okay), 알았어 (okay),” he smiles. “I’ll stop with the teasing.”

You finally wrap your arms around him, allowing him to gently sway you back and forth.

“But genuinely, Y/N,” he says against your head. “I’m proud of you. God knows I could never swallow my pride that easily.”

You erupt into laughter against Minho’s chest and the sound is enough to bring the biggest, foolish grin onto his face. “True,” you smile. Giving Minho’s torso a playful squeeze, you finally look up at him but when your eyes meet his, you freeze.

You can feel the heat rising up to your cheeks as you watch his eyes begin to slowly trail over each of your features. Minho looks at you with such fondness, it feels like he’s embedding every little detail about you into his brain.

“What?” you shyly whisper.

Pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, Minho’s hand lingers by your chin as he shakes his head. “Nothing. I just want to look at you.”

You bite your lip to hold back a nervous laugh. This was both the cutest and most mortifying interaction you’d ever shared. As much as you wish you could just be present in the moment, you can’t help but grow self-conscious. Noticing the little furrow forming between your eyebrows, Minho is quick to piece your internal dilemma together. 

“Y/N?” he softly calls.

“Hmm?” you hum as you try to calm your pounding heart.

“I know it’s hard, but…let me love you as you are.”

Your eyes widen as your cheeks turn an even darker shade of red. His words weren’t just addressing your current situation, they were hinting at the first time you’d shared with him how difficult it was for you to allow yourself to be loved. When Minho had first heard that, instead of running away, he did everything in his power to show you little by little how worthy you were of being loved.

Even now, when you wanted to laugh off his words and shy away, he gently pulled you closer. Minho wanted to show you that the lies you told yourself every day were just that, lies. He wanted to help you love all the little things that made him fall helplessly in love with you every day.

You look up at him, trying to find some hint of teasing in his eyes but there was none. “You can trust me, Y/N,” he smiles as his thumb gently caresses your cheek. 

Leaning into his touch, you look back and forth between his eyes as you process the weight of his words. Despite the small voice in the back of your head telling you it was all a lie, you muster up the courage to reply a soft, “okay.”

An endearing smile spreads across Minho’s face as he slowly leans in and plants the gentlest of kisses against your lips. You can’t help but melt into his touch as your hands bunch up his shirt by his hips. Minho slowly tilts his head to deepen the kiss as his other hand comes up to cup the other side of your cheek. Minho knows kissing is still fairly new to you so he gently guides you, his lips confidently moving across your tentative ones. As he gently pulls away, Minho can’t help but chuckle at your dazed expression as your eyes linger on his lips. Pulling you into a tight hug, Minho whispers, “I love you.”

A shy smile spreads across your lips. “I love you too,” your muffled voice responds into his shoulder.

The wide toothy grin that spreads across Minho’s face as he pull away from you and the way his eyes gaze at you with such adoration leaves you breathless. Minho really loved you. Despite your inexperience with love, despite still struggling to love yourself, and despite your insecurities, Minho was still happily and willingly choosing to love you every day.

As you look back and forth between Minho’s eyes, you can’t help but mirror the same wide smile on his face. You felt so seen and so loved by him, you hoped you made Minho feel the same.

“Come on, let’s go eat some candy,” Minho tilts his head towards the kitchen.

“You bought candy?” you ask excitedly.

“Of course I did,” Minho laughs. “What would Halloween be without it?”

Holding out his hand, you gladly take it as you practically skip beside him towards the kitchen. All your fears from the horror movie were completely forgotten. The only thing at the forefront of your mind being Minho’s sweet, little reminder of how much he loved you.

As you make your way into the kitchen, you catch a glimpse of a figure glimmering in the moonlight from the corner of your eye. Suddenly everything from the movie rushes to the forefront of your mind.

You hastily prod Minho with one hand while the other squeezes his hand tighter. "W-who’s t-that?" you quietly stammer.

Minho looks towards your pointed finger as his eyes catch sight of the mysterious form. Protectively, he stands in front of you, one hand firmly placed out in front of you while the other holds you closely behind him. Just as he's about to tackle the ominous looking figure, the lights flicker on leaving a wide eyed Seungmin and a stunned Minho.

Minho stares back at his frozen 남동생 (younger brother), a bowl full of candy tightly clutched against Seungmin’s chest. Seungmin lets out a guilty smile as he slowly hides it behind his back. "Trick or treat," he chuckles nervously, flashing them a puppy smile.

"Yah! Seungmin! You gave us a heart attack!" Minho huffs, crossing his arms. You bite your lips, trying to hold back a laugh. So you weren't the only one who was on edge.

Seungmin chuckles as he goes up to Minho, squeezing his cheeks. "Awe, was our little bunny scared?"

"No.” Minho swats his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

Seungmin re-directs his attention towards you. “And you, did you keep your end of the bet?”

You look between Minho and Seungmin before finally letting out a defeated sigh. “No.”

“Ha! I told you you wouldn’t be able to sit through a whole movie!” Seungmin taunts. “And you said that–.”

“I mean technically I did…just in Minho’s arms,” you whip back quietly.

“...you’d prove me–.” Seungmin stops mid-sentence as his eyes widen. “Wait wait wait,” he says, looking between both Minho and you. “설마 (no way), you two were cuddling on the couch?” A teasing smirk pulls at Seungmin’s lips as Minho and you turn a darker shade of red. 

“We weren’t like cuddling cuddling,” Minho starts as you vigorously shake your head in support.

“Ohmygosh, you guys totally were,” Seungmin laughs, enjoying the bashful expressions painted across Minho’s and your face. “Is that why you were so adamant about making that bet, Y/N? You wanted an excuse to cuddle with Minho?”

Minho clears his throat. “Anyways, why are you home?”

"What do you mean?” Seungmin remarks. “I told you I'd be back by ten," he points to the clock on the microwave. “Didn’t you see my text?”

"Oh. I must have missed it," he admits. 

A smug grin pulls at Seungmin’s lips but before Minho can scold him any further, a disturbing realization suddenly sinks in. "Wait, Seungmin, if you were in here," he pauses, a loud gulp emitting from his throat. "Who turned on the lights?"

At those words, you feel a sinking feeling form at the pit of your stomach as the three of you slowly direct your attention towards the light switch. As your eyes reach the source, you find a beaming Jeongin waving his fingers at you.

"Aiisshh I.N-ah!” Minho says, placing his hand over his heart as you jump back, your side colliding with the edge of the counter. Wincing in pain, you force out a small smile at Jeongin as you try to calm your pounding heart and throbbing hip.

"Awe our little lovers are jumpy tonight," Jeongin laughs as he winks at you before poking Minho's side. “I was wondering when you guys were going to notice.”

As Jeongin makes his way towards the pantry, Minho lets out an exasperated sigh. "You too?" he asks, ruffling his hair. "When did you get back?"

"About ten minutes ago with Seungmin and Yongbok," Jeongin replies as he looks back and forth between two packages of ramen he now held in his hands.

"Really? Yongbok is here too?" Minho asks in disbelief. As if on cue you hear Yongbok skip into the kitchen. “Oh, hello hyung! I didn’t know you were home?”

As soon as Yongbok’s round, bright eyes meet yours, a wide smile spreads across his lips. “Y/N! It’s been a while! How have you been?” he asks as he embraces you into a tight hug. 

“It has! I’ve been good, how about you?”

Seungmin decides to use Yongbok as a distraction as he silently sidesteps his way out of the kitchen, the bowl of candy tightly clutched within his right hand.

Jeongin, who was still pondering over his ramen in the corner, finally smiles as his eyes light up at the beef flavored packet. "You.” He throws the chicken flavored pack back into the pantry before looking for a pot.

Shaking his head, Minho pushes aside his confusion as he refocuses on the task at hand. "Okay, well we were just going to get some candy.” Opening up the pantry he looks for the bag of sweets. “Hey, where did it—. KIM SEUNGMIN!" Minho yells as Seungmin runs toward his room, giggling aloud to himself. "Yah! You have to share!" Minho sprints after him.

You watch in amusement as Minho charges after Seungmin.

"It might take a while before you get some candy,” Jeongin says as he puts the water to boil.

"Care for some ramen while we wait?" Yongbok asks as he goes to get himself a ramen packet as well. 

You let out a soft giggle. "I would love that."

[littlestpetgoth]

do you happen to have a discord server, or know of any good HS discord servers? i think itd be fun to meet other HS fans but idk where to look lol

when i first started posting online again i joined the mspfa server and posted to the art channel every now and then. my interactions with people were sparse but at the time i thought it was fun to have some social interaction with other mspa fans for the first time in my life. id consider joining it again but i haven't been feeling very sociable after i deactivated my old twitter so i dunno when i would try. i gained some traction there by sharing my oc verita, she was very popular and is the reason i got peoples' attentions. i remember someone even made a theme song for her and i thought it was sooo cool lol..

i think i must have gotten really lucky, during the time i was hyperactive(?) and posted a loot of art of her and requests of other peoples' characters with her, people really liked my fantroll designs so i got further attention from that.

i think people also liked my animations? idk. i gained like, 6k followers in a really quick period, at a time in my life where i was really unstable and was trying to strip myself of someone who plagues my thoughts. i deactivated that account and have since been really anti social lol.

i used to have one server that was pretty active, it was dumped on me by the person mentioned prior so i really resented it. eventually i couldn't take it anymore and deactivated the server on impulse..

ive since made a new server, it's kinda private and basically dead since i stopped checking in on it every day. i dont really have the energy i had earlier this year ive been pretty worn out and brain dead, but i feel a lot more relaxed at least. i mightt consider inviting new peopple to it? i haven't decided if i want to or not, it's just me moderating (and also ko but he's really only a mod to approve of people who send intros when im not available)

i feel lucky that the group of people i have in it are really nice and well behaved : ) maybe ill offer to invite people again. if you want to join to can dm me and ill check you out, see if i want you in..

sorry for the ramble im not really the best person to ask about this!! i really only have any friends in the homestuck community because people approached me first, although some were really unsavory individuals im still grateful for the opportunities i was given because of it.

[artiststarme]

Life is So Shit

Warning for suicidal thoughts and attempt. Well @nburkhardt, this turned out a little darker than anticipated. I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

It had been a long night for Eddie. His deal in the woods had been a set up, just a plan for some of the jocks to bash his face in and steal his stash. Then his van’s engine decided to give up three miles away from the trailer park so he had to walk the long way back with his figurative tail tucked between his legs and his face throbbing.

He didn’t really know what prompted him to go to the quarry. He’d always been a little afraid of heights so he tended to avoid the steep cliffs and chose to keep his feet on lower ground. For his entire time living in Hawkins, he avoided the quarry like the plague. He was glad his feet carried him there tonight though. 

Because there, pacing back and forth just before the drop-off, was Steve Harrington. He was stressfully pulling his hair, muttering nonsensical words under his breath, and Eddie thinks he might’ve been crying too. It was obvious that he was having some sort of breakdown or crisis. Most worryingly though, he kept inching closer to the edge of the cliff. 

“Um, Harrington? What’re you doing, man? Are you okay?” Eddie asked him softly with his hands in sight. 

Steve’s head snapped up to look at him and he glared through his tears. “Am I okay?! Do I look okay to you? Does it look like I have my life together, like everything isn’t falling apart?”

“Ehm, you don’t look great. How about you step away from the edge and tell me about it?”

“What does it matter, Munson? Talking won’t help! It won’t bring back my only friends. It won't make Nancy take me back after dumping my ass. And it certainly won’t make my parents decide to un-disown me or regret kicking me out. My life fucking sucks! Talking to you isn’t going to change that.”

Well damn. Eddie didn’t really know how to respond to any of that but he had to try something. He couldn’t just let this guy step off the cliff without at least trying to stop him. 

“Hey, I know what it’s like. To feel like you have nothing, to want it all to end. But it gets better! You just have to stick around and it’ll get better, I promise. Please step away from the edge,” Eddie was begging him now. This situation was hitting a little too close to home for him but he was in the thick of it now. 

“No! Who are you to tell me what to do?! You don’t know what I’ve been through or what I’ve seen in the past two weeks. You have no idea,” Steve’s head shook in anger and he moved ever closer to the edge.

“Okay, okay, you’re right!” Eddie stumbled closer to him even though his legs shook being so close to the edge. “You’re right, I don’t know what you’ve gone through. But I know that I was in a really shitty situation and I got out of it. All I needed was someone to help me and for me, that was my Uncle Wayne. I can help you. It might not feel like you have anyone right now but I am right here and I will help you. Please… don’t make me watch you do this, man.”

Steve stopped pacing and looked at him in question. He looked like he was considering his offer but he was still way too close to the edge for Eddie’s taste. 

“Please Steve, just step away from the edge. You can come back with me to the trailer, I’ll give you some weed or a beer, whatever you want. Just please don’t do this.”

Steve nodded at him and moved a few steps away from the edge, enough for Eddie to grab him and pull him into a bruising hug. He broke down further in Eddie’s arms and crammed his face deep into Eddie’s neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, oh god, I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ll help you, it’s okay. C’mon, I’ll take you back to my place and you can stay there for a while, it’s okay.” Eddie grabbed the keys to the Beemer and gently pushed Steve into the passenger seat. He didn’t know what he was doing here but he was in too deep to stop now. Collecting strays was a Munson trait and he was certainly fulfilling it. 

When Eddie got him situated in his bed with a cold beer in hand and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, Steve seemed to lose all of his energy. His eyes drooped and his head kept nodding as he struggled to stay awake.

“Hey Stevie, get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow, I’m sure it isn’t going to matter if we miss one day of school.” Eddie was actually fairly positive that he’d get held back if he missed another day but this was so much more important than anything he’d learn there. 

Steve just nodded at him. “Thank you, Munson.”

“Eddie. I feel like we’re close enough to be on a first name basis now.”

“Well, thank you Eddie. I really needed this, you know. Someone to care,” Steve said genuinely, his eyes shining when they met Eddie’s.

“Yeah, I know. I’m glad it could be me, Steve.”

He watched as Steve fell asleep and took the beer out of his hand to place it on the nightstand. He looked so calm in sleep, the exact opposite of how he looked on the edge of the cliff at the quarry. 

Eddie didn’t know what Steve had been through or what made him feel like the only option was throwing his life off of a cliff. But he had plenty of time now to prove to Steve that life was worth the struggles even in the darkest of times. Now, he just had to prove it to him.

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[the-s1lly-corner]

could I um.. request the whole alphabet with gangle.. take your time :))

The fluff alphabet w/ Gangle (Full!)

so sorry it took me so long to get to this! i got back to my computer just now and decided to whip up a masterlist/begin one before working on requests again! i must admit gangle is a hard character for me to write, so if some letters seem lackluster, sound repetitive, or whatever, i apologize in advance </3

ABSTRACT- if you ever abstract gangle will be absolutely beside herself, overcome with grief. i dont think she would abstract, though. she keeps to her room, her comedy mask long forgotten. broken or not, she cant bring herself to put it on. she feels bad, why didnt you reach out to her? did you feel like you were a burden? did you think she wouldnt be enough to save you? thoughts like that eat her alive

BONDING- you two draw together, sometimes even making comics with each other! i saw a few posts where gangle loves to draw, and draws in an early 2000-2010s anime art style and i absolutely love that. you guys just do that, when you have the free time

CUDDLING- neither little nor big spoon, gangle is simply. ribbon. its like cuddling ribbon, there isnt much to be said in that regard. kinda cold but thats because ribbon doesnt really carry heat. wraps her body around you

DATES- drawing dates! similar to the bonding segment, but you guys make it a point to draw things for each other. you even get to bust out some paints. yipee! ends up in you two drawing each other. so many painted hearts

EMOTION- gangle is definitely the more emotional one between the two of you, especially if shes wearing her tragedy mask. not much to be said, gangle is a cry baby and i dont mean that in a bad way

FAMILY- should the two of you ever escape the digital world and find each other, you two would definitely get married! as for children, i honestly dont see gangle as the type to have kids, but thats just a me thing

GIFT- really nailing the art stuff deep, gangle draws things for you all the time. but i can also see them being into origami! they make you paper hearts and little critters, bows and crowns, things like that! gangle loves receiving gifts as well, unsure of what she would like, though

IN HOUSE ADVENTURE- the only reason she wouldnt spend all of her time with you on an adventure is if she gets paired up with someone in a group (ex. her sticking with kinger after jax put them together), since i feel she would be too scared to speak up about it, even if shes starting to gain more of a voice thanks to your influence

JEALOUSY- gangle doesnt really. get jealous. at least not in the "traditional" way, to be more accurate, she gets sad. i mean, she knows shes a crybaby, she knows shes frail, but she wouldnt want to make you feel bad that she feels bad. please give her a lot of reassurance :(

KISS- lets play my favorite game! admins favorite hc for characters with no normal mouth/lips! she gently doinks her mask against your face; careful not to hurt you and to not accidentally knock off her mask! loves giving you cheek kisses, loves receiving forehead kisses

LOVE LANGUAGE- gangle feels loves when you reassure her that you love her just as she is, as well as when you spend time with her. gangle shows her love by making you gifts and fawning over you

MENDED- should you ever come back from being abstracted some how, all those thoughts that plagued her mind are now voiced. she cant help it, she feels so bad for dumping her grief onto you the second you're retrieved from the cellar. but she cant stop herself. poor girl is going to wrapped around you, literally..

NO- please dont be mean or rude to her she will feel very bad, even if you're just teasing her or joking. she already has to put up with everyone else (well, mostly jax)

ODDITY- when the comedy mask is on, she can light up a room, well, kinda. we dont get to see her with her comedy mask but i think shes loads more cheerful with it on, and perhaps even a smidge more confident in herself, when the mask is broken she can take a quick nose dive. its not so much thats it weird, more so that its a bit jarring at how big the change is

PDA- very shy about PDA, but i think ultimately if you want to hold her hand she wont object!

QUIET TIME- one word, drawing. but also i can see the two of you just being able to lie in bed with each other in comfortable silence

ROSES- PAPER ROSES PAPER ROSES! i may have a soft spot because i myself used to make origami flowers, but i think she would give you a bouquet of paper flowers. she would be over the moon if you gave her some, she looks like a dandelion enjoyer (like the yellow ones, but i think she would also like the white fuzzy ones)

SHH- loads of secrets, a lot of them tying into the jealousy segment. gangle probably also doesnt speak up about when someone is mean to her, opting to stay quiet in order to not cause issues or drama. please help her break that habit

TUNES- it might be because ive been listening to jack on loop, but this is the first one that comes to mind:

UPSET- when she gets upset she just wants to be comforted and held; when you're upset shes ready to do everything it takes to help you, just say the word and she'll do it... the image of gangle confronting someone for your sake has just flashed through my mind, though i think that may be the one thing she wont do... would love to see it though

VALENTINE- paper hearts. you two decide to go to the digital carnival together and experience some of the themed attractions... namely, the ferris wheel.... should i bring up everyones favorite ferris wheel trope...

WANT- she wants someone who wont think shes some. weirdo. and who thinks shes worthwhile

XOXO- little love notes, similar to my idea for ragatha! though gangle is more... eh, about it, since she fears you might be turned off by it

YEARN- id say in the middle, since she can respect your space and whatever it is you need to do, and she has to admit herself there are times where she wants to hang out with someone else or be alone; and thats perfectly okay!

ZZZ- likes wrapping her entire body around you, head to your chest. she doesnt really move when she sleeps, too entangled around you to do that. probably snores very softly

[magicfootballstuff]

Rebound (patri guijarro x reader)

Summary: Patri is newly single and you’ve had a crush forever

(ft. angst 😈)

———

When Barcelona have a weekend without a game that coincides with Patri’s birthday and no training the next day either, the whole team decides to let loose and go out for dinner and drinks.

“Didn’t you invite your girlfriend?” Alexia asks Patri, once the team has been seated at two big tables in the restaurant.

“Oh,” Patri says. There’s silence as she pauses, then explains, “We’re not together anymore. She broke up with me.”

Guilt flashes across Alexia’s face.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise.”

“It only happened a couple of days ago,” says Patri, with a shrug.

“She dumped you right before your birthday?” Mapi asks, as outraged as she is tactless.

“Mapi!” Alexia scolds the blonde.

“It’s fine,” Patri insists. “Better to end it two days before my birthday than two days after. At least I get to celebrate tonight with you guys.”

“And if you need a little afterparty,” says Mapi suggestively, “if you know what I mean…”

“Hey,” says Ingrid, sitting on Mapi’s other side.

“I’m offering to be her wingman,” Mapi explains, reassuring her girlfriend that she wasn’t just propositioning their teammate. “I hear rebound sex is a pretty good cure for heartbreak.”

“I think I’ll be fine,” Patri says. “Thanks for the offer, but it’s too soon.”

“It’s never too soon for meaningless rebound sex,” Mapi says with a shrug, as if she is imparting a great piece of wisdom.

You shake your head and snort, before mumbling, “Ingrid’s a lucky girl.”

Patri catches your eye across the table, the only one to hear your comment as the others have already moved onto the next topic of conversation, and the corners of her mouth turn up ever so slightly as she smiles at your joke.

Your heart swells at her reaction. If you’re being honest, she’s the only one you want to make laugh at the table. You like the rest of your teammates, but none of their smiles make you feel complete.

Since you met Patri, you’ve had a bit of a crush on her. You were shy when you first joined the team, around all the girls but especially around her. As you opened up to the others and found your feet in a new team, Patri’s presence constantly disarmed you. You knew you couldn’t act on it, not wanting to jeopardise your place on such a prestigious team by getting involved with a teammate and risking it getting messy, but after six months, when you could no longer take it and decided you needed to confess to Patri exactly how you felt, you were saved the potential trouble of getting rejected by a rumour (heard through the Barcelona head gossip Mapi, of course) that Patri had started dating a girl she met outside of football.

It hurt, especially when Patri’s new girlfriend started coming to games and you were forced to see them together while plagued with thoughts of 'what if…', but ultimately you managed to temper your crush enough to move on with your life.

Until now…

You thought your crush had gone. You’ve dated other people, nothing serious enough to matter, but enough that you thought you were over Patri. Until now, sitting across from her, surrounded by the rest of your teammates but she’s the only one you can focus on. Because now that she’s single…

Now that she’s single, maybe you have a chance again.

You immediately shake your head and try to squash the thought. You’ve been Patri’s teammate for almost two years now. While you might have had a chance when you first met her, there’s no doubt that after so long she must have put you firmly in the friendzone. And having Patri as a friend is better than not having her at all. You’re not going to fuck that up just because your little crush on her has woken up from its long hibernation.

“You okay?”

It takes a second to realise that Patri is talking to you, everybody else around you caught up in their own animated conversations.

“Yeah. Fine.”

“You seem deep in thought,” she says. “Want to talk about it?”

If she had asked you in private, maybe it would have all come spilling out. But you’re sure as hell not going to say anything while all your friends are right here to witness the inevitable rejection.

So you improvise a lie.

“Just thinking about that sitter I missed in training yesterday.”

Patri narrows her eyes, as if she doesn’t quite believe you, then her face splits open into a huge grin.

“I can’t believe you hit it over the crossbar from so close,” she teases you, playfully nudging her leg against your beneath the table. “If you’d done that in a cup final… I swear, I wouldn’t talk to you for a month!”

And just like that, everything is fine again.

Almost…

———

Much later in the night, when the team has finished dinner and moved to another bar nearby, late enough that when Mapi suggests a round of shots you agree to go along with it without thinking twice, you find yourself standing next to Patri again.

“Are you having a good birthday?” you ask, having to raise your voice to be heard over the music.

“Yeah,” Patri answers with a nod. “This is fun.”

You’re not entirely convinced. You can tell her mind is elsewhere.

“I’m sorry to hear about your girlfriend,” you say.

You’re not - you’re sorry that Patri’s sad, sorry that she’s been hurt, but not that she’s single again - but it’s the right thing to say.

“Ex-girlfriend,” she corrects you.

“Her loss,” you say. Emboldened by alcohol, “You’re a catch, you know?“

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not,” you insist. “Any girl would be lucky to have you.”

“Careful,” Patri warns you, teasingly slapping your arm. “Keep saying that and people will start to think that you’ve got a thing for me.”

You remain silent, unsure exactly how you’re supposed to respond to that without confessing everything you’ve ever felt for Patri.

Silence is perhaps your mistake, because Patri’s eyes narrow, her head tilting slightly to the side. You can almost hear things clicking into place in her brain, and before she can reach the right conclusion, you blurt out, “Do you want to dance?”

Patri still regards you with a curious expression, but her mouth curls up into a smile as her hands find yours, fingers locking together.

“Sure. Lead the way.”

———

You dance in a group with the other Barcelona girls, but Patri is the only one you really notice. She remains glued to your side for most of the evening and your hands keep brushing against each other, accidentally at first, but after another couple of shots the touch starts to feel more deliberate. That, coupled with the way Patri’s dark eyes keep staring at you and the alcohol that clouds your judgement, makes it really hard not to make a bad decision.

The other problem, is that when you finally make the bad decision, it doesn’t feel bad. Patri leans in and speaks into your ear over the loud music, asking if you want to go to the bathroom, and you can only nod and let her drag you by the hand through the crowd of dancing bodies until it’s just the two of you alone.

“Maybe Mapi was right,” says Patri, as she stands at the sink and uses the reflection in the mirror to comb her fingers through her hair.

“Right about what?” you ask, standing awkwardly behind her.

“Maybe I need a rebound.”

She turns to look at you, leaning back against the sink.

“Do you want my help?” Your eyes widen in horror as soon as the words come out, realising how that sounds, and you quickly clarify, “To find a rebound, I mean.”

Patri steps closer, her gaze flitting down to your lips and then back up to your eyes.

“I think I know how you can help,” she says, with a husky voice, before she kisses you.

It’s a surprise, though reflecting on all the little touches all night and the way you’ve both been unable to keep your eyes off each other, it probably shouldn’t be one, and you remain frozen for at least a couple of seconds when she first kisses you. But then you remember that this is Patri, who you’ve been crushing on forever, who you’ve dreamt of kissing more times than you’d like to admit, and you come to your senses and start kissing her back, letting out a moan as her tongue swipes across your lower lip and into your mouth.

There’s a thrill to the fact that you’re kissing in such a public place. The bathroom is empty for now, but one of your teammates could push open the door and walk in on you kissing at any moment. A sadistic part of you wants to get caught, maybe to show off to anybody that after nearly two years Patri is finally kissing you, but the other part of you wants to keep her and this moment all to yourself, and your hands tug at the material of her top to pull her closer.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Patri asks you, mumbling the question against your lips. “Go somewhere more private?”

You don’t know if she’s suggesting moving to another bar where none of your other friends are, or if she’s actually telling you she wants to take you home for real privacy, but either way you nod enthusiastically while barely detaching your lips from hers.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

———

You wake up in an empty bed. Most notable is the fact that it isn’t your empty bed.

The next thing you notice is that you’re naked, and when you sit up, you see your clothes strewn across the floor, discarded haphazardly in your rush to take them off last night.

The memories rush back, though it’s fuzzy and you don’t remember the exact how of getting from the bar with all your teammates to Patri’s apartment, you do remember that it was her who removed all your clothes and left them all over the floor.

Your cheeks flush as you remember what happened after the clothes came off. Again, it’s a bit of a blur, but you know for a fact that neither of you got much sleep.

Wondering where the aforementioned Patri is, you gently slip out of bed and dress in last night’s clothes, before stumbling out of Patri’s bedroom to look for her.

“Morning,” you say, as you wander into the kitchen.

Patri turns and acknowledges you with a little nod, busy with the coffee machine on the counter. She knows how you like yours without needing to ask.

“So about last night…”

“It shouldn’t have happened,” Patri interjects.

Her words are like a knife through your heart.

“It shouldn’t?” you ask, your throat dry.

“I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy it,” says Patri, sliding a steaming mug of coffee across the counter towards you. “But we’d both had a lot to drink. We never would have let things get that far if we were sober.”

“Patri, I…” you trail off and close your eyes, bracing yourself to make the confession you should have made a year and a half ago. “Patri, I like you. I’ve liked you since I joined the team, but I was too much of a chicken to say it. And then you started dating your girlfriend - your ex-girlfriend - so I pushed it all down and forgot about it but last night, when I found out you broke up with her, all the feelings came back.”

“But we’re friends,” says Patri, eyebrows furrowed together as she processes your confession.

“I don’t want to be just your friend.”

She looks at you, really looks at you like she’s staring into your soul, and you know her answer from the regret that passes through her dark eyes before she even speaks.

“I’m sorry,” Patri tells you. “But I just got out of a relationship. Like three days ago. That’s way too soon for anything, but especially this. Last night was a mistake. I shouldn’t have used you as a rebound. I never would have done any of it if I’d known it meant more to you than it did to me.”

You clench your jaw with the effort of fighting off the tears that sting in your eyes.

“Hey.” She grabs your hand, looking straight at you with concern in her eyes. “We’re still cool, right?”

“Yeah,” you lie, swallowing down all the emotions and wishing you could take the last few minutes back and not tell Patri you like her. “We’re still cool.”

You don’t think you’ve ever been further from being cool.

———

part 2 coming soon…

[bellysoupset]

Soup, Soup, you can't just post about Jon's burps right after mentioning Wendy kept sliding him the drinks after the party at her place...could we have any of the aftermath with him and Leo? 👀 just striking the iron while it's hot, don't mind me @writing-whump

This was too cute not to type immediately.

Burpy Jonah in the morning after Wen's bday.

-------------

Leo had fallen asleep on the couch. Not on purpose, but after dropping Jonah off at Wen's apartment at 1 AM and coming home alone, he had stopped to breathe in the couch, unbuttoning his shirt- And then woke up with the sun streaming in and JD nibbling at his fingertips.

"Uhm, what is it?" Leo grumbled, sitting up and picking up the cat, pressing his nose to her little triangular one, "it's too early for food, baby. You're gonna turn into a round cat if we keep feeding you at all times of the day."

JD let out a pitiful meow at that and Leo sighed, collapsing back against the cushions and yawning, "is Jonah back yet?" he smoothed her fur, grinning when his cat rolled on her back, exposing her tummy for him. She knew exactly how to be terribly cute and get herself treats when he said no, "you manipulative little cat."

Leo got out of the couch, stumbling to the kitchen to grab JD's treats, the cat running ahead as if to show him the way. He rolled his eyes at her, crouching down to grab the plastic packet and grimacing when he caught his reflection on one of the pans. His hair was sticking out everywhere and he was still wearing last night's clothes.

After a long shower, Leo walked back into the living room, only to find JD had climbed his work suitcase and was in the process of trying to open the zipper.

"You are terrible," he groaned, reaching to grab her and she let out a pitiful meow at being pressed against his naked, humid chest, "yeah, meow all you want, my work suitcase is not for-"

He interrupted himself when the door opened and Jonah stumbled in.

Leo raised his eyebrows, pressing his lips into a line as he saw Jon press against the door, raising a hand to his mouth to muffle what he thought was a yawn, only for a loud burp to cause Leo to jump and JD to hiss.

"Oh shit- Sorry!" Jonah blushed as he realized he wasn't alone, collecting himself, as he was sliding down the closed front door, "sorry. Excuse me."

"You're excused," Leo giggled, "what time is it?"

"Eight something..." Jon rubbed his face and Leo raised his eyebrows as he took in exactly what his boyfriend was wearing. These were certainly not the social clothes he had left wearing last night.

"Are those Vince's?" Leo smiled, inspecting the orange hoodie that was very large on Jon, as well as the grey pants that were covering his toes.

"Yeah," Jonah grimaced and walked further into the apartment, "I'm starving."

"Wendy didn't feed you? Some host she is," Leo couldn't help the jab and Jonah's shoulders shook with a chuckle as he entered the kitchen area and started grabbing everything in the fridge.

"Apparently Vince is down with some biblical plague, they all rushed to Luke and Bell's place, Barbara drove me home..." Jonah stuffed his mouth with a croissant that Leo was pretty sure was a day old and thus normally untouchable by his boyfriend's standards, "uhm, this is good. My tummy hurts."

"Your tummy hurts," Leo repeated, lowering JD back to the ground and leaning against the fridge, terribly amused, "are you still drunk?"

"Maybe," Jon nodded, sliding down and sitting on the kitchen floor, chugging juice straight out of the carton and causing Leo's eyebrows to raise even more, "probably, Wendy kept pushing me her drinks."

"I see," Leo nodded, crouching down on the ground as well and crawling to him, pressing Jon against a cabinet as he stole a kiss, "just how drunk?"

"Uhmmm," Jonah hummed happily, pulling back with a dazed smile and running his fingers through Leo's humid hair, "not drunk enough we have to stop, no."

"No?" Leo grinned, tugging on Jonah's borrowed orange hoodie and dumping it on the ground next to them, practically on top of JD, "c'mere-"

He leaned in to kiss Jon, all but sitting on his lap on the kitchen floor, only for the pressure on his boyfriend's tummy to be too much and Leo ended up jumping back, startled as Jon let out a loud burp.

The other man whined, scrambling to cover his mouth with both hands, while Leo threw his head back, cackling.

"Not funny!" Jonah groaned, lowering his forehead to Leo's naked shoulder and the blonde shook with giggles.

"No, hilarious," he corrected, kissing Jon's cheek, "does your tummy at least feel better?"

Jon groaned, then Leo felt him muffle another huge burp, his cheeks ballooning comically, "a little. Stop laughing at me."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he grinned, wrapping his arms around him, "we can still make out, I don't mind."

"Freaky," Jonah scoffed, hugging him back and slotting his chin on Leo's shoulder, "I think I just... Just wanna stay like this."

"Okay," Leo smiled, melting into the hug, "whatever you want, Jon."

[oh-no-its-bird]

Hey, it's the person who bombarded you with their idea about your team ro timetravel + team ro defects au. Just wanted to say I am. So sorry for my nonsence. It's not an excuse but at the time the Thoughts about Story were plaguing me and i needed to get them out of my head and i thought oh it's based off your au, maybe you'd like to see. But you neither asked for my insane ramblings nor even know me so like. I'm real sorry and pretty embarrased about dumping All That on you and if you wanna go ahead and delete the asks you absolutely can i'll probably feel less stupid if you do honestly. Again, very sorry for my bullshit and pls have a good day

Replying to this immediatley actually to not leave u in suspense but SHUT UP DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVED UR ASK IVE BEEN SUPER BUSY THIS WEEK IS ALL IM SO SORRY !!! BUT I ACTUALLY SAW UR ASK LIKE. AS SOON AS IT CAME IN. ABSOLOUTLEY DELIGHTED ME. THEN U SENT ANOTHER AND I WAS OUT HERE KICKING MY FEET TWIRLING MY HAIR READING IT , LITERALLY WENT "OHHHH ANOTHER ONE!!" OUTLOUD I WAS SO HAPPY

I like replying to my asks, especially ones involving prompts, whenever I'm in a specific headspace to write, bc I always wanna give the ask the long reply it deserves! I always feel so bad just replying w smthn short so I like to really sit down and give whatever I got sent my full attention. U sent me smthn so thoughtful I wanna send u smthn thoughtful back yk!!

I've been kinda brain dead latley tho so uhhh. I havent been replying to asks too much, oops !

BUT I STILL LOVE THEM ALL AND I LOVED URS SO MUCH, NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR DUMPING UR IDEAS IN MY ASKBOX, I LOVE HOW ENTHUSIASTIC U WERE IN THEM!!! I MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO BE ABLE TO SEE MY IDEAS GIVE OTHER PEOPLE BRAIN WORMS IM SCREAMING FR!! THANK U SM FOR UR ASK I LOVED IT AND I STILL LOVE IT AND I WILL REPLY. SOON. EVENTUALLY. PROBABLY THIS WEEK IDK I HAVE A LOT GOING ON. BUT I LOVED IT THO THANK U

[apomaro-mellow]

Part 2

"Steve, that Byers boy is here for you.”

Steve was in the middle of clearing the dishes from breakfast when he heard. “Okay.”

“We’ll be back late tonight. Money for the landscapers is by the door.”

Jonathan came in just as the man walked out, brow furrowed. “Who the heck was that?”

“Uh, my dad?”

“Is you say so. Look, we gotta hash this thing out. No one else but Dustin was supposed to know.”

Steve leaned back against his sink. “Yeah but if we tell everyone we were lying, then we’re back to square one.”

“You’re back to square one. As I recall, this was a Steve problem.”

“Here’s the thing about problems, they can spread to other people. Like if Dustin continues to pester me about dating, maybe I stop being so generous with my car. Maybe those kids will have to hound someone else for rides.” Steve raised his eyebrows at Jonathan.

Jonathan rubbed at his face. “Everyone else is gonna know by now.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Yeah you will.”

---------------------------------

Eddie was in the middle of walking down the street, ignoring the dirty looks when who should he see, sipping milkshakes but the new set of lovebirds. He knew most people thought of him as shady so he had no shame ducking behind a mailbox to watch them from across the street.

To most, it definitely looked like just a couple of guys being pals. And before, Eddie would have seen it like that too. But now that he knew the truth about their relationship, he couldn’t help but read more into Steve’s smile.

And Jonathan seemed relaxed in a way that he only got when he was high. Just what in the world did they talk about when they were alone?

“I wanna go. And I wanna study photography. But like, how do I explain that to my mom?”

“You think she’s gonna fight you or something?”, Steve asked.

“No, not really. If anything, she’ll be mostly supportive. But unless you’re a big name, you can’t make a lot of money. And I know that’s gonna be her first thought. ‘How are you gonna pay your bills? Or tuition?’ That kind of thing.”

“I mean, personally, I wasn’t always a fan of your work. But if you have a dream, you should go for it. Even if you failed, at least you tried. I don’t even have...” Steve trailed off and swirled his shake around.

“Have, what?”

“Even if I could get into college, what would I even do?”

“Sorry man, I’m not a career counselor”, Jonathan said.

“You’re supposed to offer solutions and ways to help solve my problems. Some boyfriend you are.”

“Bring it up with the Better Business Bureau.”

Eddie bit his fist as he watched them. And things just went downhill after that. Whenever Steve and Jonathan were around, and they were surrounded only by their closest friends, they were holding hands. Or they were standing really close together, or sitting really close. And Eddie couldn’t stand it. It sort of felt like Jonathan had stolen his spot. But could he really claim something that he’d never had?

Meanwhile, Steve was putting up an impressive front but only because he was avoiding alone time with Robin like the plague. Which she could tell he was doing so she had no choice but to corner him. Her plan involved going into his room, stealing some of his hair products, and waiting.

And like clockwork, he realized he was out, went to the store, and Robin trapped him in aisle 6.

“Spill the beans, Harrington.”

Steve looked down at his basket of products, then Robin, and realized he’d been played.

“Robin, seriously? You know better than to mess with my hair.”

“And you know better than to keep secrets from me. Especially secrets like this.”

“Please tell me you still have my stuff and didn’t just dump it.”

“Of course I do. I’m not an evil witch.”

“Good.” Steve began to put the products back on the shelf. She may have been conniving, but at least she didn’t make him spend extra money. It was only when they were back in his car that she started the conversation again.

“You and Jonathan....makes zero sense. Especially since you’re straight.”

“Who said I’m straight? I’m allowed to appreciate guys.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner then? Hm?”

“Because!”, Steve shouted with fake indignation as he tried to stall for an explanation. “Because, I called one of your crushes a Muppet and I didn’t want you to tease me about Jonathan, okay?”

“Steven, I’m not a child. I don’t hold grudges like that. And Jonathan’s fine. Isn’t it weird though? To date the ex of your ex?”

“We’ve seen our fair share of weird stuff. Me and Jonathan don’t even make the top ten.”

“Point taken. So like...what do you like about him, I guess?”

Steve smiled at her attempt. “Are you trying to do guy talk?”

“Yes! I thought it might be doable since you’re gay but it’s still talking about dudes and I feel like I’m horribly out of my depth. How can you do girl talk so easy?”

“Well, I like both, so...”

“Bullshit.”

“How is that bullshit? I’ve dated girls and guys. Do you only like one kind of sandwich?”

Robin was quiet for a moment. “Just when I think I’m done discovering you, you get a little bit deeper.”

“I’m a man of many talents.”  

Part 4

[dreamersbcll]

Omg i was watching scrram 5 and i just had an idea for a prompt.

So what if in that hospital scene when judy tells sam that "when the sun comes up, she should leave", sam actually does that? Because she thinks she's only causing tara more trouble but tara stops her.

“Leave”

she said “love me” so i loved her, she said “leave me” so i left

——————————————————————————-

“Like we’ve been so far?”

Sam knew the moment the words tumbled out of her mouth she made a mistake. But she couldn’t help it. How could she? She had just been attacked in the hospital where her injured sister lay after being stabbed by the same asshole in the mask. It was a ridiculous notion that one fucking cop would keep them sake.

Hell, give Sam a gun. She could lock this down.

But Officer Judy, well, Hicks now, didn’t love that answer.

Smiling tight-lipped, Officer Hicks spoke firmly. “Samantha, let’s step outside.”

Fuck.

As she stepped outside, Sam gave herself an internal pep talk. She wasn’t going to back down from the shitty cop that arrested her too many times. Sam wasn’t afraid of Deputy Hicks- she was just a cop. Sam was older now and clean. She knew better, and she wasn’t going to stand down.

Sam straightened up, glaring at the woman. “Nice to see you, Deputy Hicks. So many fun memories,” she lamented, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

The woman smiled sickly, her face confronting into a pained smile. “It’s Sheriff Hicks. I remember you, too. And all the trouble you used to cause your family,” Hicks sniped, looking Sam up and down.

And damn it to hell, Sam stiffened at that. She fucking loathed that the woman wasn’t wrong. Sam was a menace to the Carpenter name, a shitstain across that family history. A monster to a family that she wasn’t actually a part of.

Sam was Loomis. And like Loomis’ did best, they destroyed everything in their path.

Judy smirked at the look on Sam’s face, smugly knowing she had her beat. “Your presence here is not helping. So maybe, when the sun comes up, you and your boyfriend can hit the road and leave it to people who actually care about this community.”

With that, Offi- Deputy- Hicks walked off, leaving Sam and the other shithead cop to stare at each other. She breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. Fuck. She couldn’t let this go on any longer.

Sam had to tell Tara who she was and what she had done to their family.

——

Naturally, Sam fucked it up.

“I just couldn’t be around you, Tara,” she whispered, her heart tearing in two at the way Tara froze.

Fuck.

She cleared her throat, trying to keep her voice level. “Not only because I destroyed our family that night, but because those diaries told me who my real father was.”

The two sat there, staring at each other. Sam could see in Tara’s eyes the little girl she once broke and who she was about to fail again. It’s funny. Sam always thought she would be able to visit home years into the future, and Tara would be older, and they could reunite once again. Like it should be.

But she would never get the chance again once she uttered the name that tainted her heart and plagued her life from the age of thirteen and on.

She might as well rip the bandaid off now.

“It was Billy Loomis,” she blurted out, tears blurring her vision. “And somebody knows, and I’m so fucking sorry that I never told you and that I ran away. I’m so-”

“Get out,” Tara softly spat out, her voice cold and eyes vacant.

Sam froze; her mouth hung open, almost cartoonishly. Her little sister stared Sam down, her eyes darkening with rage, her lips curling in disdain.

Tara spoke quietly, her voice tight. “Five years. Five whole years, and then I get stabbed, and then you want to dump all this shit on me?”

Swallowing hard, Sam gasped, shaking her head violently. “No, no, I swear, I was trying to protect you-”

“-Protect me from what?” Tara whispered, her face painted with disbelief. “The truth?”

“No, no, I- Please, Tara,” she begged, her hands shaking.

But it was too late. It was always too late for Sam. She was so good at destroying everything, demolishing any perfect thing she had ever held. All she could do was beg on deaf ears.

“Sam, I need you to get the fuck out.”

Sam shook her head, reaching out for Tara’s hand. “No, please-”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Sam froze at her sister’s tone, faltering at the tear-filled eyes she had seen far too often. Fuck. She was so good at fucking it all up. So good at ruining everything she touched. And here she was again, burning down the relationship that was already a pile of broken twigs.

She had seen the film before. She knew the ending, and she didn’t like it. This was the part where she was exiled from the love she knew and left forever.

Maybe if she left, Tara would be safe.

So she got up and collected her things, beelining for the door. As she pushed through it, she could feel her sister’s eyes on her back, those eyes adding insult to injury.

The door shut behind her with a soft click, and Sam rested her forehead against it, focusing on swallowing her tears. There was no amount of crying that Sam could do for this. She ruined it all. It was all her fault, and fears were futile. They wouldn’t fix this.

Fuck, Sam couldn’t even fix this if she tried. All she did was fuck up.

Sam wiped away the few tears that escaped, sniffling softly. She turned on her heel and walked towards the exit, her jacket in one hand and her keys in the other.

The soft jangle of keys was the only thing keeping her stable as she death marched to the elevator.

“Sam!”

Shaking her head, Sam gripped her keys a little tighter, letting the cold teeth sink into her skin. Stupid. She’s so stupid. She’s just hearing things. It was a matter of time before her brain would twist itself back up again. What a fucking idiot she was.

“Sam!”

She paused, her finger hovering over the buttons. That couldn’t be… no. Tara wouldn’t. It was Sam’s fault. She was just hearing things. Her meds were just fucking with her head. Yeah, that was it.

The yelling didn’t stop.

“Sam! Samantha Carpenter!”

Sam turned around, peeing down the hallway. The shouting was coming from the room she was just in. Tara’s room. That didn’t sound right. Fuck, that couldn’t be right. She wasn’t worth fighting for. Sam was the reason their family was so fucked-up in the first place.

But still, the voice yelled.

“Sammy,” the voice hoarsely screamed, slightly muffled by the door it hid behind.

What the hell.

She fled down the hallway, trying to control her body. Her limbs felt foreign, her movements jerky and uncontrolled. It took everything in her not to sprint down the hallway, throw open that door, and collapse into the arms that she loved.

But that would be ridiculous and much too soon. So, instead, she sped-walked and slowly made her way to the door. She paused in front of it, trying to control her breathing. Tara didn’t deserve her tears, her blubbering. This was Sam’s fuck up. She had to pull it together.

Opening the door slowly, Sam kept her eyes averted, her head down. She could feel her little sister’s eyes on her, burning holes in her skin. Righteous holes.

“Sam,” Tara breathed, her voice filled with wonder.

As if Sam wouldn’t do anything for her.

Sam nodded jerkily, her cheeks blushing. “Yeah?”

Her little sister spoke softly, her voice wavering with choked-up fear. “Please don’t go.”

Sam was sure the sky was purple, and the year was 3024. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t what she deserved. She was a fucking Loomis. This wasn’t the end of the storyline she deserved.

This wasn’t what a sinner like her deserved.

She paused, her mouth dry. “You want me to stay?” she said, her voice strangled.

Don’t show emotion. Don’t be weak. Be strong. Your sister needs strength. Not your pathetic tears.

Tara nodded, closing her eyes as if she couldn’t handle another one of Sam’s rejections. “Please.”

Sam closed the door behind her, the soft click forcing Tara to open her eyes. Unbridled relief and brief flashes of joy flickered through her little sister’s eyes, all because Sam was standing right before her.

She didn’t deserve this. She never would. But here she was, all for her sister’s taking.

Tara motioned to the chair next to her, eyes glassy—those beautiful brown eyes. They had haunted Sam for years, and here they were, still warm.

Forcing her legs to move, Sam quickly made her way across the floor and sat down in the chair next to her little sister. Tara just observed her quietly, taking in her sister’s every move. Sam bowed her head in admission, refusing to make eye contact with her little sister— like a stray dog, Sam didn’t know how to love when all she knew was loneliness.

But her little sister did.

“Just, stay. I can’t watch you leave again. I can’t do that again. Please, just stay,” Tara cried softly, her voice thick with tears.

So many words swirled through Sam’s head. I’m sorry, for one. I love you, and I didn’t mean to hurt you, was another. I have always loved you, and I thought of you every single day, was the best one that sat on her tongue.

Yet, she couldn’t get herself to say it. She couldn’t get the courage to let it all out. It was too early. It was all too early to say the things she should’ve said years ago. She just got Tara back in her life, and their relationship was hanging on by a thread.

Despite her chest aching and her heart tearing at the seams, Sam said three words, three words she had been dying to tell since the day she left all those years ago.

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

And so she did.

[nutluvs]

new rdr2 oc alert...!!! her name is sabrina guerra, the cousin of marco guerra, who belongs to my great friend @fadingkittenx <3 marco is so cool. i love him a lot and he's very dear to me. but no, this isn't a marco appreciation post. sorry guys. maybe that'll happen soon she's a young afro-brazilian biologist, but also one hell of a gunslinger! (a note for when you see the art, i hadn't planned on her being a gunslinger when i first drew her, so i didn't add a gun/holster belt. oopsie...) she lives in scarlett meadows, but she moves around a lot for the sake of learning more about the life that resides in lemoyne. she's particularly fond of inspecting pleasance, wondering what happened and what plague killed all of its residents off. some headcanons: - her animal motif is a jaguarundi! - she likes to embroider! a lot of her clothes are all patterned with her own embroidery. - she usually wears her shirt(s) unbuttoned due to the damn near insufferable lemoyne heat, and all of her clothes are always light and somewhat thin. - she likes to sing as well, often accompanying javier when he plays guitar by the fire! they get along well, and bond over their fondness of singing. - she hates no one, even if they're rude to her, or if they're just bad people. she knows better than anyone that certain events can change a person, and she'll never judge someone for what happened to them in their past that they can't control. - she loves to pick flowers judging off of what they symbolize, and make bouquets out of them for people's birthdays. for example, marco usually gets bouquets of mignonettes (worth, health, moral beauty) or canterbury bells (gratitude, acknowledgement, constancy). she puts a lot of thought into it! - she carries seeds with her all the time, so if she ever sees an area lacking vegetation, she can go over and plant some. she carries seeds of all kinds, and she makes sure only to plant the things that naturally grow in the areas, and not invasive species. her moodboard:

images all found on pinterest. search terms: green plant aesthetic (images 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9), jaguarundi (image 5) okay enough with my yammering, here's what sabrina looks like!

(please do not take inspiration or steal anything from ANY of my ocs. i work hard on developing these characters and their stories, and i'd hate to see it dumped into another character like it's nothing. thank you!) if there's any questions about sabrina, ask away!

[blood-starved-beast]

1) Really glad that you liked my idea about how Gehrman and Maria could've been mutually cringefail to one another over failing "expectations" and thought that dynamic had potential! I have to admit though, you are actually the reason I've started thinking of Maria under less flattering angle and discovered new girlfailure depths in her 2) Tbh it is kind of funny how I always add commentary on Gehrman takes that are TOO unflattering, but you always add a commentary on Maria takes that aren't unflattering ENOUGH. It feels like that Spiderman meme with two of them pointing at one another but with one Spiderman being upside-down and with colors inverted. Maybe users like us can make those characters equal one day instead of defined "bad" side and "good" side. One day..

Sorry for getting back to you late but aw thanks bruh.

The thing with me and Bloodborne is that it's both a horror and a tragedy. And what comes to mind with those genres is that the characters, the human ones in this case, are often portrayed and are meant to be seen in an unflattering light, because they've done awful things/are awful people in line with the themes, motivations, mood, etc. of the story.

Bloodborne is a story about the aftermath of a societal collapse due to rampant, unchecked scientific and medical atrocities, hubris towards the gods (Great Ones), religious and political corruption, and human induced plagues. We're faced time and time again with Hunters and doctors who have done so much damage, so much atrocity, a callous and blatant disregard for human life. Like I don't even have to list them just open a save into any place and it's there.

So going back to Maria it's like. Her reputation precedes her. We enter the Research Hall where we're met with some of the most explicit violations of human life (Orphanage aside) in the game. The patients going mad, being turned into water bubbles for experimental purpose, living in squalor, going berserk. When their experiments fail they're dumped into the Lumenwood garden where in the dream rise up to fight you with the power of the Cosmos. They cry out for a Lady Maria, who based on what they're saying is allegedly helping them and supposedly is going to save them. These cries, uttered by the destitute and the sick. They are not accurate actors. These people are living in desperate circumstances, they are being abused, and the only person they cling to is the current authority figure - logically, this is Lady Maria, as otherwise they would have named someone.

Like, this isn't the place to discuss in-depth the psychology of research subjects vs experimenters but we all know that subjects trust the experiment leader to take care or at least not abuse them. If you want to learn more about this look up Milgram's Experiments on Authority. Anyways, the fact that we see such a contrast between what desperate people need/crave and what they're not getting - someone is failing them. Lady Maria is failing them. And lo and behold, you find her dead in the Clocktower having committed suicide.

So I'm gonna be very unpopular in saying this that I don't feel much sympathy for Maria's own state other than yeah what a crying shame. I know society unjustly villainizes the mentally ill and those who commit suicide, but people don't always commit suicide cause they've been overwhelmed by mental illness. Sometimes, it's to escape a failure or consequences. And Maria I believe, is of that latter example. How fitting, that the Living Failures are placed right before Maria's bossfight. How fitting that they're dead and rise up, just like how Maria we find dead but actually not really. She failed the people of the Research Hall, she failed to help humanity advance to the next stage, which is the goal of all the researchers in the game (and they all failed). She failed to save them.

And apparently, it's not enough that she failed them, but she doesn't even help them while they're alive? The level of squalor we see the patients in the Hall is abhorrent. That's not something that happens in a week or a day. Saint Adeline is largely lucid (before giving her brain fluid) and speaks as though Maria is still alive. The implication is that's what the Hall looked like right around the time she died. She failed them, failed to protect them, and then disrespected them in their last days, after death. Maybe the Hall didn't start out this way, maybe the more demoralized she because with her research, the less she cared, who knows. She still got new patients, and kept doing the atrocities. She placed her research - and her curiosity over everyone else in that Hall. She betrays her principles for it. And what does she have to show for it? She runs away again.

She runs away from the Hunt when she realizes she done wrong (hates the Hunt, but hey could she have done something then?), but instead joins the Research Hall - apparently still enslaved to her curiosity, maybe justifying it with saving people. Clearly that was an excuse cause look at the Hall. (I mean, what kind of person claims atrocity at the Fishing Hamlet then runs to lead a Human Experimentation lab?) She couldn't face her own actions, who she has become as a person, who she is as a person, she ran from it. And by the end of her tenure at the Hall, she realized she could no longer run away from her flaws, her atrocities. What does she do? Does she change course? No, she kills herself.

"Evolution without courage will be the ruin of our race" is a statement found in the game. Evolution, likely referring to ascension. In the Japanese version, it's written as "Pathetic evolution" or something to that extent. Maria is emblematic of that statement. She is a coward. That's why she was only able to produce the living failures. Whereas Fauxsefka had that courage and produced the Celestial Emissary and the minions, Maria never did. Her suicide is emblematic of that, the cherry on top on a long list of personal and professional failures. So so pathetic.

[doctorguilty]

You ever get a dragon someone thought was ugly and you were like HOW

somewhat maybe! I did get a few dragons from the "ugly dragon swap" thread, though they were most definitely called lovingly ugly b/c they were bred by a plague zombie enthusiast. But I was absolutely grateful to get them b/c for sure not everyone likes these guys! Especially when crackle and gembond are relatively unpopular genes

The Skydancer I'm considering making a permababy because I'm frequently unhappy trying to dress her and her hatchling pose shows off her cute faceted eyes

And as for the Imp, she's gonna become this eventually:

Otherwise like I've gotten dragons that weren't explicitly being called ugly but I yanked straight off fodder floor and we're headed to exalt row, so y'know, one could assume the user didn't consider them the best looking! like these two of my permas:

and it's like with the bogsneak I can see yeah I can understand why that'd be dumped, those weird colors and genes aren't for everyone, the obelisk though I was like, dang really?? she's not a stunning double/triple or anything but surely she's not hideous fodder!

funny enough the bog I changed 2 genes because I found a skin I wanted her to wear, as much as I like the swamp water looking capsule. but just look at her now, living a happy life c:

but yeah beauty in the eyes of the beholder all up and down the place!

thinking about crackle and gembond again actually, another gene I really like that isn't popular is smirch (which is also dirt cheap so more for me I guess lol)

I grabbed this girl of fodder floor, breed changed her to a noc for a skin I had in mind but ultimately got SO overly picky about the eye color I ended up using her for a breeding project renting lightning nests so I could have a noc with more matchy eyes. cause I'm extra like that (almost considering changing her back into a guardian now that I have the nocturne I want for the skin sjkfhdksgks)

SORRY went on such a tangent !!!

[quodekash]

i went to bed instead of watching abaab and i woke up and im ✨sick✨

its not the plague but i have a sore throat and im really congested and i feel like a dump truck ran over me and poured all the bin juices in my brain, but its fine cos im here, im queer, and threezo are near

CONTENT WARNING: if youve seen this episode, youll be aware that there will be discussions of rape, sexual assault, and pedophilia. if any of these topics are triggering for you, please take the measures you require to stay safe, and please call emergency services if you require help, and talk to someone you trust. remember: you are not alone, and there will always be people who love and care for you, but you havent yet met some of them. stay safe everyone, i love you

i cannot for the life of me remember how the last episode ended so its lucky that they have little summaries at the starts of episodes cos otherwise id have no clue whats going on

OH YEAH THOOP WAS ARRESTED

hang on, dont they still need to go to work?

i cant remember what day it is and what they were doing before cher got that phone call but still

dang it ive already had a cup of tea today but i think i need another one

THREEZO HELLO (ft jack's luscious hair on the side there)

THREEZO ARE SO SWEET WHY ARE YOUR FACES LIKE THAT JACK AND TUB

okay, yeah, fair

HE IS HAPPY

HIS HAIR IS FLUFFY AND HE IS HAPPY

GREHJKDFGKJRB

aww

AWWWHHHH

awhh thoop is cryinggg

bro is in desperate need of a hug

IM GONNA CRYYYY

i love deep platonic bonds

especially when its found family

fnjgbhfbvhfb

**gasp** despicable!

HELLO THREEZOOOOO

hes so prettyyyy

and hes also so prettyyyyyy

GJKRTBNFDHKJRG I LOVE THEM

am i crying? yes.

im crying a lot

i love threezo so much

the grip these two have on my mental health and sanity--

have i rewatched this scene four times? yeah. do i now kinda just wanna curl into a ball and sob for a day or two? yeah. unfortunately i have to keep watching the episode

okay so its literally like six hours later now, ive tried having two naps, ive had three cups of tea today, as much medicine as i can have, and the sickness has done nothing but get worse which is just so fun but the only reason i wasnt watching abaab is bc i was trying to sleep and that's just not happening so im continuing the episode now

the commentary is gonna be very little tho btw bc im having trouble making coherent thoughts through all the conjestion clogging my brain

the way they smile at each other is so 🥺🥹

im TRYING--

sorry, last week i couldnt stop talking about the freaking pomegranate i was eating, today i cant stop talking about how sick i am, ill try and shut up about it and just watch the episode lol

SCREW THAT GUY

VAFFANCULO

I HATE HIM

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

idk much about the mother

BUT THE STEPFATHER CAN GO SHOVE A PIGNA UP HIS CULO

look, i hate cops and law enforcement

but i even more hate thoop's stepfather

and law enforcement, unfortunately, have a lot of power, but thats fortunate in this situation bc they can force him to shut up which is nice

oh, wouldya look at that. i was right.

im not happy about it. its freaking horrible. and its even worse that it happens every day in every single country and state and city and suburb and yet nothing is being done about it.

um. yeah. thats all i can think of to say.

SHE HAD TO PUT UP WITH IT FOR THREE YEARS???

holy hell thats freaking disgusting

i hate this so much. not that they included this in the show, im really glad they included it because it's freaking disgusting and not talked about enough, especially in mainstream media and stuff. i just freaking hate that rape exists and people have to put up with it every single freaking day of their freaking lives, and NOTHING is happening to fix this freaking disgusting issue

this episode is a lot heavier than i was expecting and idk if anything im saying makes any sense because im too sick for this and the things that happened are making me even more sick

HUZZAH, I WAS RIGHT

AND THIS TIME ITS A GOOD FEELING THAT IM RIGHT

HES NOT HOMOPHOBIC

HUZZAH, HUZZAH, PRAISE OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JACK'S ALMIGHTY FLUFFY BEAUTIFUL HAIR

sobbing, i cant do this, theyre too sweet

AH SHOOT, I JUST REALISED IVE BARELY DRANK ANY WATER TODAY

as per usual, your hair is on fleek today, my friend

he's angry at laem, but his hair is perfection

the perfect way to get someone to shut up: shove food in their mouth as fast as possible (im using this at some point) (also how the hell is his hair so pretty i love his hair too much. i think i always spend more time talking about jack's hair than i do talking about the actual episode)

gun's mother has such a sweet sounding voice but her words sting like poison, jeez

OH HELL YES ITS THIS PART

IVE SEEN SCREENSHOTS

side note: look at three and zo's knees pressed together gjfngjbhfgbh

HEYYY GUYS

ITS SO FUNNY

WHAT ARE THEY DOING WATCHING SIMM

wait so. bad buddy exists as a series inside the msp universe. simm exists as a series inside the abaab universe. what's next??

the frame changed suddenly, kluen was looking down slightly earlier and now he's looking right in nuea's eyes (yes i had to include jack's hair in the screenshot, so what?)

side note: i love all of jack's ear piercings (and his hair) so much

(ive now used all my 30 photos for this post so you just have to deal with that. on the bright side, the final photo was of jack's beautiful face and beautiful earrings and beautiful HAIR)

i love this friend group so much, theyre all just sitting in a circle in their gaming chairs supporting cher as much as possible in their own little ways and its so sweet and so happy and gfbhbrhgb

ignore your bfs phone calls only to show up at his house with food

AWWW, THE WAY HE JUST PULLS HIM INTO A WORRIED HUG AS SOON AS HIS HANDS ARE EMPTY- I LOVE THEMMMM

"promise me no matter what happens, we will fight it together" RGHBKRDFHGKRBDFHB

AWWWW TEHY KISSSSS

"(talking to himself) if your mum knows about this, she will hit you to death, cher" "know about what?" "she gave me only one heart and i gave it all to you" "youre as cheesy as i am" IM DYING WHAT THE HELL THEYRE SO SWEET

BRO CHILL

CALM DOWN

I DONT NEED TO SEE THIS

I MEAN LIKE GOOD FOR THEM

BUT WHY DO WE NEED SUCH A LONG SHOT OF GUN'S BARE ABS

theyre so soft with each other what the hell

"i just want to hear it from your mouth-" AND CHER CUTS HIM OFF WITH THE SOFTEST KISS EVER??? (well, not ever. no one can ever kiss as softly or lovingly as freaking akk, but that's neither here nor there) THAT ONE TINY MOMENT IS GONNA PLAY IN MY HEAD FOR AGES NOW OMG

keep the pants on please guys

oh thank goodness they finished the episode before it got to that, i appreciate that

anyway THAT WAS SO SWEET GBFHGBFHBHG

im desperately hoping that next episode will be mostly fluffy happiness bc i cant take much more of this seriousness, especially not if my sickness persists (which i really hope it doesnt, id love to be functioning this week)

um yeah. that was that. i hope you enjoyed that? sorry for all my ramblings about being sick, i just really hate being sick.

once again, i hope youre all safe and healthy, if you're not, i hope you can find a safe space and people you trust, please contact someone who can help you if you need it. i love you all, have a great week :]