#dumber than a bag of bricks

[deathshallbethelastenemy]

Breaking my silence ... sjm SUCKS I just wasted my time reading acotar (read the tags if you want a rant)

[softe-gay-mothman]

I love this game but mc is about to piss me the fuck off lmao. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PRESS CALEB ON HOW THE FUCK HE SURVIVED AN EXPLOSION AND WHY HE DIDN'T TELL YOU HE WAS ALIVE THIS WHOLE TIME????

[itsravioli]

[tinogiehd]

we’ve heard dream hint around being in love and in a relationship right now but he threw on the hypothetical to try and cover it and this is him straight up saying he’s totally in love with someone. and it’s not him being in love with how they make him feel or the idea of them it’s him being totally in love with just who this person is. and it’s so fucking obviously george like holy shit

like it feels like it was pretty clear he was in a relationsjip and in love by everything he said about spotlight and paranoid in interviews and whatnot but oh my god he’s in a relationship and in love and we don’t need evidence isn’t it evident with who that’s with

[painedprince]

((If I made a bg3 blog (I'd have to make an actual new blog and I hate blog hopping,,) it would just be a very self indulgent sebastian blog. Except I can't commit to any hcs about him. Some people write that he's an artist or something... I see that lol))

[onelittlespiral]

I’ve been looking for a fraternity to join at my new college, but none of them have really been letting me in. The only one left seems to be full of horny jocks that are dumber than a bag of bricks. Think you could help me… fit in?

FML: In

As you laid it all out in front of your friend, your plans, your goals, your desires, he just kind of shook his head in disbelief:

“I know that I’ve only known you for a few weeks, but damn that’s disappointing.”

“What’s so wrong about wanting to pledge?” you replied, “It would just make getting connected the university so much easier. Plus, the parties are legendary.”

“No I get it,” he scowled, “but really? Pi Kappa Epsilon?”

“Listen, they weren’t my first choice either. I would have preferred a group a little less… dim.” I knew he wouldn’t leave it there.

“Dim? Dim still implies some light on upstairs. You can just call them what they are: brainless frat bros. They think with their dicks and muscle their way through academics. I can’t believe you’re asking me to use my power for this.” He began walking towards the door.

I called after, “Look, I’ve seen you do crazier shit than this. You turned the guy upstairs into a dog for a week.”

He stopped in the door frame for a minute to chuckle, “If he was going to call the RA a bitch he may as well get first hand experience.”

“Please dude.” I stared at him.

After a moment he relented, “Fine. But are you sure you want this? You want to change for this? A frat?”

“Yes. And I promise I’ll get you into any party you want!”

“Fine. Give me a bit. But remember, you asked for it.”

He returned in a bit and tossed me a necklace from across the room, “Here’s your frat solution. Wear this to your next thing with them at their house.”

You inspected it. It looked like a basic chain necklace like you had seen other guys wear around “And do what? What does it do?”

He rolled his eyes, “And do nothing. It will help you fit into the frat, I promise.”

“No magic words or anything?” I asked.

He grinned, “Oh come on, think of me as better than needing all that crap. Now put it on so you don’t lose it.”

It fits well around your neck, “I’m headed over there tonight, I think it is the last event before they drop everyone. You sure this will work?”

“Trust me,” he says, “You want in the frat? You will be in the frat.”

When you arrive at the frat house, you do feel the necklace almost pulling you inside. It feels warm against your chest as you wander around, talking with some brothers and checking in with your fellow pledges. You get a sense of magnetism from it, like the necklace is pulling the frat house around it towards you. As the party kicks into gear, you focus less on the chain and more on socializing. But whatever it’s effect, it seems to be working. Brothers and other pledges are seeming to stumble over themselves trying to talk with you. Even the pledge master gives a knowing glance and tilts his head in approval. In a little under two hours, you begin to feel more at home in the house, more comfortable in the crowd. Maybe for the first time you feel a sense of brotherhood. So it is a shock when you step into the bathroom to take a piss and take a look in the mirror.

You don’t recognize the face that stared back. You blinked in confusion, assuming you had too much to drink. But no. The stranger in the mirror stared back into your eyes, copying your every move as you tilted your head and inspected your face in awe. The trance broke as you glanced down and saw the truth. Your polo shirt stretched against your chest as two pectorals firmly pushed out, flexing with each breath. Your pants had grown tight around my quads, now a good few inches short. They hugged your ass so tightly you were surprised they hadn’t ripped. Tattoos flowed down your arms, newly ripped and well toned. You noticed for the first time the power you felt coursing through your veins. You could almost feel your skin taut against your muscles as they slowly swelled. You pulled your top off to get a better look at the action.

‘Damn I look good’ you think as you admire the new cum gutters and still developing 6-pack. You try out a few poses in the mirror, just to see the muscles move. The necklace is no joke. No way PKE would drop you now, you looked like you fit right in. But, at the same time, you figured it may be time to get the necklace off. You didn’t want to change too much, and no telling how far it would go. You go for the back of your neck and and start to fiddle with the clasp when the necklace suddenly starts to warm up.

You feel the odd magnetism is no longer subtle. It feels as though the necklace is pulling against the frat house you, drawing it’s very essence towards you. At the same time, the growth within your body stops as the necklace channels all its energy towards your head. The sudden spike hits like a migraine, as you let go of the necklace and go to hold your temples. The necklace wants to finish its work. Your senses are sharpened to a point, as you feel the heat of the bros downstairs, taste cheap beer and seltzers, hear every footstep, see every muscle and bulge, and smell 100 horny men all at once. You feel the pure energy of the fraternity pull through your body as it shapes you. Beneath the pressure, your mind buckles as false memories push their way in. Memories of watching college football on TV. Working out during the summer to become a fucking stud. Playing the field as soon as you got to college. Meeting up with some brothers to get a foot in the door. Getting called a fuckboi for the first time on Tinder. Wearing it like a badge of pride.

Your brain throbbed as the energy reshaped your memories and personality, but your balls churned as it began to adjust your libido. They ached as they swelled to the size of golf balls. Your cock was rigid at attention as you grabbed it with both meaty hands and started to pump. Your body writhed as every stroke only makes the pleasure more intense. You are soon hot with the effort. An aura of testosterone and sweat formed around you as a frat funk sets in deep: a mixture of booze, yesterday’s workout, and cheap cologne. The smell only drives you more wild, and you start to feel your brain short circuit. Your mind, consumed by pleasure, gave into the pressure and lost any remaining will to resist. The necklace pulsed in time with your throbbing cock as it buried the old you. As you reached climax, you knew there was no going back. As you shot your load across the room, a new you was released. A dumb, horny frat bro ready to pledge PKE.

And then the door behind you opened.

The pledge master, apparently worried by how long you had been in here, walked in on your afterglow as you tucked your cock back into your pants.

“Hey man, you okay?” he asked before recoiling a step. You watched as he smelled your rank funk and nearly gagged. You took a step closer.

“Yeah bro, better than ever. What about you? You look like you’re about to vomit.” you said, leaning in a bit closer. You flex your muscles and let your pit stench join the lingering cloud. You feel yourself start to harden again as he tried not to react.

“Bro, you are fucking rank. You smell like a… like a-”

“Like a frat house should?” you taunted. He had stopped recoiling and seemed now to be fighting a different urge.

“I don’t know bro, you should get- get that looked at.”

His eyes were focused on your muscles as you slowly flexed them rhythmically to the music downstairs. I felt the necklace pulling him closer as he fought the urges he is having. Fuck, you remembered that feeling, that pull towards desire. You knew how to help him out though. You grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips to your pecs. As his lips connected with your flesh and tasted the beads of sweat that rolled down your chest, he wrapped his arms around you and began worshiping your muscles. As he kissed and licked every inch of your chest and washboard abs, he gently rubbed against your rigid cock. It wasn’t long before he was licking at the fabric separating his mouth from his prize. But as he reached for the elastic band around your waist, you grabbed his hair and pulled him up.

Your mind reveled in in the power you held in your hands and the pleasure your new frat bro could cause with his mouth. But you only had one thing left on you mind:

“I wanna be in the frat bro.” You said.

He mumbled as his mouth still searched for your flesh, “Yeah man, sure thing. I’ll make it happen. You can be a frat bro. Just please let me suck on your-“

“No,” you boomed. You pulled him out of the bathroom and into the nearest bedroom, locking the door behind you. You grabbed his ass as he grew limp in your hands, “I want to be in the frat bro.” You slip your hand beneath his gym shorts and begin slowly finger fucking his tight, straight hole.

He understood his place as he slipped off his shorts and underwear, leaving his cheeks on full display.

He moaned like he was in heat, “Yeah bro. Please. I would be so honored.”

You bent him over and spat in his quivering hole before you pressed your cock against him. You didn’t wait for him to relax as you slammed your cock as deep as you could and watched him yelp in surprise. As you slowly sped up and heard him start to moan, you felt the necklace once again start to warm against my chest as its power flowed through your cock and into the bro beneath you. He too began to sweat with the funk of the frat as was remade in its image under your guidance. He was going to become just as unified with PKE as you were.

[whyareyoulookingatmelikethat]

twisted sprout x distractor reader x twisted cosmo?

bonus points if reader's a little overly cocky and gets Got (maybe we get like. kidnapped or something. whatever you think would fit best in the getting got category [: )

...no this isn't inspired by me doing stupid stuff while distracting and getting punished for it. why would you think that noo /j

[20]: In The End

Not much to say right now. Not in the best mood after something happened, but I still hope you enjoy.

You were known as the chaotic one of the group.

Reckless, mischievous, you name it.

Honestly, no one really knew why you were the distractor, but they just went along with it because who else did they have to distract?

So here you were, skipping your way along the dark halls, your mood completely cheerful despite the disturbing sounds of the monsters chasing you.

The smile on your face was as bright as it would be on a sunny day, strangely enough.

You weren't one to strategize either. The instant you found a speed candy on the floor? Eat it in an instant.

Chocolate bars? Sounds good! Bottles of pop? Sure thing! No saving whatsoever.

You were literally the embodiment of idiotic.

And you liked it.

What was wrong about being stupid? Everyone is, so might as well come to terms with it.

You giggled, rounding the corner and making a U-turn around the twisteds.

Some say you’re confusing. Some say you’re drunk. Some say you’re crazy. (Which you are, but focus!)

You had the most positive,(Yes, even more positive than Poppy) yet deranged look on your situation, is what people said.

You didn’t care if there were monsters chasing you. You didn’t care if you were possibly going to die soon. After all, if you're going to go out, might as well have a little fun while doing so!

No you weren’t suicidal, just…you tried to make the best of your situation.

Was this place causing you to go insane? Probably. Who wouldn’t, after seeing their friends die in front of them one by one?

Ah, you remember now. Vee being mauled by Twisted Pebble, Boxten’s bones being crushed by Twisted Goob’s grip, Astro being killed by…well, Twisted Astro. Or who you like to call, the leech.

Their deaths were so traumatizing, you say with absolutely no emotion whatsoever, like you’re being sarcastic, but you’re not.

What reason would you have to be?

You didn’t really hate anyone here, not Vee or Glisten with their pride, Rodger with his nosiness, or even Shrimpo with his yelling. He had good reason to be bitter.

You heard a screech behind you, a warning. With practiced grace, you twirled around the easily avoidable tendril sprouting up from the floor, not even staining your shoes with the black ichor.

As you skipped on, avoiding a swipe of a smaller black claw, you wondered how the twisteds were even dumber than you, to the point they would just run around in circles after you and not even cut through the middle. They also wouldn’t jump or step over obstacles, nor knock them aside. They reminded you of homing missiles, but worse.

They acted as if a bean bag was a brick wall, and it was funny, yet extremely confusing. It bugged you to the point of insanity.(Not really, you're still sane but you know)

So you entertained the thought that maybe they were all blind. Their eyes were blood-red, so it would make sense that their vision is messed up, but that doesn’t explain how the amalgamation that was once a sweet and loving dog could now see you across half the entire floor, but couldn’t see you over a colorful kids table, despite towering over you.

It didn’t make any sense. It was like every single obstacle ever was an invisible wall for them. And you thought you were dumb…

You hummed, breaking out of your train of thought. Your eyes widened as you came face to face with a wall, smacking straight into it.

You could feel a headache beginning to form as you fell backwards towards the ground, hitting your head on the painfully hard concrete. You could hear the slightest crack and you cried out, immediately curling yourself up and hands shooting up to your head.

It…felt warm. Weirdly warm, and sticky.

Oh.

You already knew what it was.

You pressed down hard on your scalp as the twisteds closed in on you. You’d go out quick, at least.

The only thing you saw before it was all gone was two blurry faces staring down at you, hissing and groaning filling the air.

[cl0ud-ninex]

Interesting! I saw on the wiki that Winston lived with his mom, but I didn't know it was actually confirmed in an unused audio. Compared to the other red poles Winston really is just a small fry. Does he most likely make more money than the average Joe? Sure. Does he also have more power than the average Joe? Yes (mostly because he's basically a grown ass bully whose mom, fiance, and friends support him and his extortion antics, but still). But compared to red poles like Big Smile Lee, Aunt Jiang, and Two Chin Tsao (or even Dogeyes), he IS the average Joe. I wish they kept a lot of the unused dialogue. They gave everyone so much personality.

Helllllllloooooooooo! Just wanted to say that I love the blog! ❤️ It's nice to see fellow sleeping dogs fans. I saw your post about Winston and I didn't know it was confirmed that he felt a type of way about still living with his mom. Would you happen to have the audio of him saying that?

thank you love 2 be back and i sure DO

this is the relevant part from an unused version of the conversation Wei and Winston have during the drive to Uncle Po. i've had this waiting to be posted since 2018 i meant to edit together the whole thing but i think i wasn't entirely sure about the correct order for all the lines. so i'm only posting this bit for now

[the-owl-tree]

Mothwing looked from her brother to Leafpaw and back again. “Let her go,” she meowed. “It’s not important. She didn’t catch anything. If you take her to Leopardstar you could start a war between our Clans.” Hawkfrost fixed his cold blue stare on his sister. “And why is that such a bad thing? Every cat knows that ThunderClan is in trouble. This could be our chance to move in and take their territory.” Leafpaw gasped. Was that what Hawkfrost really wanted?

knowing the second half of tnp is dedicated to rotating around brambleclaw's relationship with hawkfrost, having every. single. leafpaw. chapter. (like legimately, almost every chapter) including a scene where leafpaw interacts with hawkfrost and he openly talks about how much he loves war and tigerstar makes brambleclaw look like the dumbest motherfucker alive. there's only so much "he's my brother!!11!" excuse that can make it bearable, he's canonically a horrible judge of character apparently, dumber than a bag of bricks.

[jav-uni]

no troll zone except you believe any that will tell you what you want to hear about a basic white celeb. Dumber than a bag of bricks

Ay, mi amor! hahah.

This is a troll-free zone but for you, I will make an exception:

I don't believe what I want to hear because it would be unethical for me to do so. After all, I am a Journalist with a Master's in Strategic Communications and I'm trained in International Law, Human Rights, and Transparency at the UN and other International Organizations and Universities, and have worked for over 15 years in digital marketing, activism, and politics. I am WELL more educated than the basic white celeb, his "wife", and her racist little clout combined (We have proof that one of them is a high school dropout, and she and her friends are racists. I saw the original tweets and posts myself to verify their validity)

Do you want to know why I'm still here? Because most of the communications and social media strategies that we have seen for the past two years I have done them for work before. I don't speak the same language as his team because my native language is Spanish and I live in South America, but the strategies are the same.

Besitos. 💋

[pumpumdemsugah]

Repeating myself about how Lestat is dumber than a bag of bricks. He knows Claudia is like him and while we don't know ( or I don't remember) why he came to the US he obviously didn't like coven life and went through great trouble to get to the US but thought this

Wouldn't get him killed ? By someone he freely admits is just like him ??? And is vicious ?

He got out smarted at his big age of 300+ years because of his arrogance and being dumb. He made himself an obstacle for her to figure out how to knock down. He pursued Louis and waited until he was weak to turn him because he wants what he wants but the same Claudia who is like him would just give up? And take shit lying down

Lestat has peanuts for brains and far too many people let being attracted to a blonde man get in the way of understanding that. There's some things Lestat could have avoided by giving it thought and thinking about consequences. He could have told them there were vampire laws. He assumed he had forever to teach them but he still had a couple decades to say something or elaborate about European vampires. Even if ep 5 never happened, someone that's as smart and determined as Claudia would want to find out more and make her own way. She needed a companion and they did nothing to help. Claudia had to leave and eventually more European vampires would have made their way to the US and in all his wisdom what did he do to prepare for this? Think about penis and be petty

The most preparation he gave Claudia was forcing her to watch the body of the guy she liked get incinerated after she killed him by accident . "I'm beating you for your own good" type of fathering " the world is going to beat you down so I'll do it first " type of mothering. People gush about Claudia being like Lestat so much and ohhh he loved her ( so does Louis but does that stop anyone talking about him being shit dad ?) and skip past him being a bad dad and stupid.

Her first plan was running away, not murder.

[fungalnebula]

I love Kin'emon so much because when you meet him he seems so smart and capable but then you slowly realize he's dumber than a bag of bricks

[digisurvive]

Saki being willing to see herself in Ryo and sympathize with him while calling Minoru dumber than a bag of bricks when compared to him is like. THE FUNNIEST THING

[devilsrecreation]

Outlander High School au

- Takes place in a human au with the characters having human names

- The Pridelands and the Outlands have a separate school district. The Pridelands HS is called “Pride Rock High” and the Outlands HS is called “Graveyard High”

- Simba has taken over as president, rivaling with Scar (who is alive in this au), who is in charge of the Outlands. After his eventual “retirement”, Shenzi took over

- Jasiri is the Student Body President, making sure everyone gets along well

- Janja and his friends look like goths due to their clothing choices, but personality-wise, they’re more like Skaters. Ones who often get into trouble, you know? Janja tries to act cool and impress Jasiri, but he ends up making a fool out of himself. Chungu and Cheezi are dumber than a bag of bricks and rely on Janja for a lot of things. Nne and Tano are doing well academically but tend to get sassy with their teachers. They’re regulars in detention.

Janja’s also a theater kid

- Reirei is the preppy, but sassy know-it-all who rubs her accomplishments in everyone’s faces. She and Janja are “friendly” rivals. They like to annoy each other.

- Kiburi, Tamka, Nduli, and Neema originally came from Pride Rock High, but got expelled due to a….dispute with Principal Simba and was stopped by Kion and his friends. They’re jocks who specialize in football and wrestling, but also have a few other special interests. Tamka and Neema are into theater, Nduli’s part of Art Club and is a gamer, and Kiburi’s musically talented and thinking about becoming a rapper. He listens to a LOT of rap

- Kenge’s the short-tempered outcast of the school. His bad home life has gotten him into trouble by becoming kind of a bully to people who comment about his size. He can either be a Buford or a Francis depending on your relationship with him. I also like to imagine him being like the main character from the game “Bully”

- Sumu’s your stereotypical nerdy, quiet kid who has a passion for true crime. There are a few rumors about how he’s either killed someone or is going to but nothing’s happened so far. He’s an outcast along with Kenge

- Goigoi’s a wallflower. Being one of the dumbest, but nicest kids in the school, he managed to find his own friend group in Chungu, Cheezi, Tamka, and Nduli. The group is affectionately called “The Idiots”

- The skinks are the popular kids who love to gossip and have tea on basically everybody. They can get away with a LOT of stuff

- Ushari’s a teacher (dunno what he specializes in yet) who is pretty much done with the kids in his class. He has a soft spot for the skinks and Kenge, who do well

- Mzingo’s a nerd who tends to be part of a lot of extracurricular activities. He and Mwoga run the debate team as well as being part of the student council

- Madoa’s the lovable geek and Jasiri’s biggest supporter. She usually hangs out at the library and is part of the Book, Fashion, and is a theatre tech

- All of the Outlanders have different living situations. To name a few:

Kiburi lives with his single father and his little sister, both of whom are disappointed at him (to say the least) for getting expelled from Pride Rock High

Njano lives with his older brother who takes care of him since their parents travel a lot

Kenge’s living situation is super abusive, which is the primary source of his anger

[mistergaslow]

Days 17-20 of Gobtober. Halfway there now! Most of them are drawn already, I just need to color them.

#Gobtober: Day 17: Archevist: Archibald Swatch the 2nd: Goblin intellect heavily varies, moreso than for other humanoids. They can be smarter than a computer, or dumber than a bag of bricks. Archibald is one of the former, having modified his own mentality with machinery. Of course, glitches happen.

#Gobtober: Day 18: Priest: Nassi Nanim: While goblins do have their own gods to worship, they are quite easily dragged into cults, religions, sects, cabals, and football teams. Nassi was molded into his position and knows his holy texts by heart. Few of his non-goblin peers take him seriously though.

#Gobtober: Day 19: Farmer: Crow #19: Bugbears refer to #Goblins bred for agricultural, hunting, or nature jobs. Crow's master crafted her and her kin to tend to the local fields. Her face resembles a permanent scarecrow, shooing away pests and vagrants alike. It's a lonely job, but she does it well.

#Gobtober: Day 20: Baker: Jorge: Goblins, especially Prawns, can morph in a variety of ways when growing up. An overfed prawn might grow into a troll, gain mountainous muscle, or fatten up. Jorge was the latter. Since he was young, he was tasked with eating all the baker's scraps—Moldy or otherwise.

[highlifeboat]

Random assortment of Sarah/Daniela/Maximus things I think about

Unintentional throuple. Initially Daniela and Max thought it would be a fun one time thing, and then they kept hanging around Sarah and OOPS they all love each other now.

Max and Daniela spent far too long explaining the concept of Polyamory to Sarah, just for her to eventually realize what they were talking about and go “AH! Are thou proclaiming I shall court thee both??”

“...We think so?” “WONDERFUL! :D”

Sarah, telling her sisters about this: “I have acquired both Maximus and Daniela as lovers! Simultaneously! Is that not grand?” Mary and Winnie: “We have been here for 2 days??”

Explaining Max’s transgender-ism was actually much easier.

When he said “I am a man, just… trapped in a girl’s body.” Sarah automatically assumed he’d been cursed. He just kind of rolled with it, and Daniela never corrected that.

She probably freaked out the very first time she saw Max take his packer out. Legitimately thought his dick fell off. (He did not consider that the witch from the 1600s would need to be warned that his penis was fake)

Sarah asked Winnifred if there was a spell in Book to help “un-curse” Max, but Winnie just said “I will check” and hasn’t bothered to actually look.

Winnie doesn’t care for Max or Dani all that much. Though she tolerates Daniela more (maybe because she’s so much like Sarah. Just with a better attention span).

Mary, on the other hand, likes both of them just fine. She enjoys Daniela’s company and Max isn’t all that bad to be around after a little while.

On the flip side, Cassandra tolerates Sarah, for similar reasons to Winnie. She does think Sarah is dumber than a fucking bag of bricks, though.

Bela just… Bela is barely tolerating any of them, honestly. She does respect Winnie, though (Eldest Sibling Sympathy)

Sarah always either calls Max “Maximus” or “(The) Boy” when referring to him, there’s no in between.

Max 🤝 Daniela 🤝 That Horny Bus Driver: “God, let the hot dumb blonde sit in my lap while we drive down a bumpy road, pLEASE-”

Constant touching. Like, general touching. They’re all whores for physical affection. They are ALWAYS holding hands or touching each other in some way.

Their sex life is probably freaky as fuck. Sarah and Daniela definitely tag team Max, but they all take turns being bottom.