#dukesleep

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

Mugshot time for the Squad! (Update: Fixed a few, added a few!)

No reposting, theft, feeding to an AI, editing, altering, or otherwise taking, please. Using as phone backgrounds/avatars/pfps/header images is cool with credit! Inspired by is cool, too, just @ me so I can see!

So. There was a new meme. I got out of hand as usual. Multiple dynamics for the squad! All the darksides and Remy (Sleep) because I love Mr. Sleep desperately, thank you for coming to my tedtalk. sleepanxceitmus interactions ftw. People interpret characters differently, so hopefully your duo has the vibe you're looking for!

Please consider reblogging for my poor hand and to support fanartists. Tell me about your faves, which dynamic it is, why it's the best in the tags or replies or reblogs, I'd really love to see!

(bonus under the cut)

... trust no one not even yourself

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

(I like to headcanon Remy and Roman can’t STAND each other…So imagine Remus x Remy lol)

Roman:Hold on. What’s Remy doing here?

Patton:Oh! Apparently he and Remy are a thing now

Roman:WHAT?!

Remy:Hey babe~

Roman:What- n-no one is calling ANYONE Babe!

Remus:yo!

*later lol*

*insert Remy watching tv with Remus with his arm around him*

Roman:Heeey, guys how’s it going?~…Patton made some “hands to yourself cookies!”

*roman moves Remys arm*

*Remy puts it back on*

*Roman removes it again*

*remy puts it back on*

Roman:Keep your hand off before I RIP IT OFF!-

Remus thoughts:…Wait…can people get Big Macs at Taco Bell?…

I'm literally the twins swapped version of that with Rosleep but I L O V E that XD Ro's so damn dramatic and he can and will have his Katana ready if he even sees Remy leaning in for a smooch at Ree XD

[seelie-regent]

Rules for Requests

I won't write anything sexual

I won't write suicide

I won't write Logicality in a romantic sense

I won't write Unsympathetic Virgil, Remus, Janus, or Logan

I won't do anything I find morally abhorrent

[anxiouslyfred]

Footprint

Summary: Remy doesn't know whether to be concerned or impressed when his soulmate mark forms as a footprint on his neck. His soulmate however has been aiming to have an unusual first touch with his soulmate since first learning about them in schools.

/\/\/\

When children turn 10 they have a class, sometime in that year, dedicated to explaining soulmates. It covers what the marks are, and the types of connections they can have together as well as when they'll appear. Almost all of the children know about soulmates long before then, their parents or relatives explaining it to some degree. A lucky few even know about the platonic connections that form roughly 20% of bonds and haven't had those situations dismissed as torn connections.

For Roman and Remus however it was their first time being told about the phenomenon. Their parents had realised early on that informing their children of soulmates existing outside of Disney films was likely to encourage some thoughtless behaviours in each of them. They'd wanted the schools resources to support the twins understanding and discovery of it in the hopes they wouldn't respond with an over romanticised ideal or whatever bizarre reaction Remus might have.

“I'm gonna have a soulmate someday!” Roman explained the afternoon after getting that class. “How do Princes meet their soulmates? I'm sure, even in Snow White they'd already touched before true love's kiss.”

His mother looked over, smiling a little, “I believe that the most spoken about first meetings Princes in films have are dances, but interrupting someone's day with that seems discourteous, don't you think?”

“But then how should I be greeting mine? And is it something that will reveal easily if I'm fated for them?” Roman pouted, head tilting in thought.

“How about a kiss on the hand? It is a gentleman's greeting, after all.” She offered, trying to think of a gesture that wasn't likely to cause too much trouble. “And if it's a man you're meeting you can easily adjust it to a handshake if they seem the type to take offence.”

He looked at her before walking over and bending to kiss her hand without trying to take it first. “Like that?”

She smiled at her son, before moving to kneel, “No, like this.” She took his hand, pulling it up to meet her kiss, before starting to tickle him with her other hand, refusing to stop as giggles broke out.

“I'M GONNA BE A GYMNAST! LOOK I CAN DO A HANDSTAND!” Remus interrupted the game, barging into the room and throwing himself upside down.

“No, you need to be nice to your soulmate, Re! Stop that!” Roman protested, using the distraction to escape his mom's hands.

She blinked between the two, well used to connecting seemingly random responses together to learn what had been said between her boys. “I see no reason why I can't get you some gymnastics classes. Is it the flexibility you'd want to focus on or doing flips and such like?”

Remus looked at her, squinting for a moment before asking“Does flexibility mean I could tie myself in knots?”

“Yes.”

“Flexibility then.” He nodded.

That was that so far as both twin was concerned over learning about soulmates and how they might meet them in the future. Their parents took turns in taking Remus to his gymnastics classes and Roman to theatre practices and both tried to remind their boys that soulmates can have platonic relationships of different varieties as well.

…

Remy learnt about soulmates from his much older brother, Logan. He'd asked a million questions on the day Logan took his top off at the beach revealing a finger print sized dark mark on his side and had let that be the end of wondering about them. He didn't care if other people wanted specific marks or created ways to greet everyone in hopes of rapidly identifying them, so long as he got a mark once he turned 15.

That morning he called for Logan without leaving his room, stuck on the change in his reflection still. “Logarithm! I need you!”

“My name is Logan, Remy and what's so important it can't-” His brother's words broke off upon seeing just what had Remy sounding so confused.

“It's a footprint on my NECK!” Remy gestured wildly between the mirror and himself. “I don't know whether I should be concerned or impressed.”

Logan's jaw dropped before he marched over to tilt Remy's head back, “Concerned! You're literally going to be kicked in the neck by your soulmate for your first touch! How is that not concerning?”

“Maybe it's some total hottie and my introduction is gonna be 'step on me, Daddy.' I'm not gonna argue if they agree to it.” Remy countered, smirking.

“Is that supposed to be flirting? It makes no sense at all, and trust me, flirting needs to have some reason behind it to be understood.” Logan ranted already checking him over as if a kick had already hit Remy's neck and he needed medical care.

Remy batted the hands away. “To you it does. Not to me or my soulmate, I bet.”

“You literally called me up here for help.” Logan stated.

“Yeah, cause Dad's gonna try wrapping me up in cotton wool and refuse to let me see the world if he sees this mark and we both know it. You got any scarves in amongst your tie collection?” Remy glanced into the hallway before hurrying over to Logan's room, thankful that it wasn't until next week that his brother moved out.

Logan followed, rolling his eyes. “Yes, I have a scarf and you should too given it's winter.”

“Left it at school, besides this is 5 scarves, not just one.” Remy plucked out the brown one, wrapping it around his neck and heading down for breakfast before any reply or agreement to let him have it could be given.

…

“I CAN'T FIND IT!” Remus's yelled made Roman jump where he'd been twisting his hand from side to side admiring his soulmate mark. He wandered through to the living room with a sigh, just as another cry came from his brother. “My gymnastics classes worked!”

He looked down at the tangle of limbs called his sibling and shook his head. “Nobody, literally nobody, should sound that excited about being unable to find a soulmate mark. Even the people who realise as the grow older that they're happier without generally want to find a soulmate mark when they're fifteen.”

“They're boooorrrrring and so are you! I bet yours is just on your hand or something equally dull.” Remus retorted, shifting his head as if trying to look at the back of his thighs while remaining the twist.

“With a kiss to their hand, my soulmate shall be revealed.” Roman gave a small bow as he repeated his preferred way to greet everyone, noticing Remus's mark as he did so. “And if instead of whatever you're doing, you had just sat cross legged, you'd see that your footprint is your soulmate mark.”

That at least got Remus to unfold from his pose, now poking at his feet. “So no more shoes for me! I need to greet everyone upside-down.”

“You are not doing that!” The protest came on instinct almost, as Roman scrambled for something that wouldn't have his brother actually trying to do that. “Perhaps it's someone trying to do a lift with you?”

“BOOOORRRRRRINNNNNNNNNNNGGGG!” The yell was loud enough their entire family assumed they shouldn't suggest more societally acceptable ways for Remus's foot to be the first place to touch his soulmate.

…

Since meeting Remus, Janus had learnt to be careful what they said, especially if their words could ever be misunderstood in such a way for Remus to flip upside-down. They'd still use those phrases but always ensure they couldn't be connected with Remus too easily should he take the opportunity.

They were the reason that Remus was in a handstand, trying to pick up his plate with his toes. They'd make a sarcastic remark about wait staff being able to balance plates no matter what position they have to be in to lean around customers in smaller restaurants.

Given they'd been having a picnic and frankly more people should get to enjoy the contortionist performance that Remus could start any second, Janus wasn't too worried about being noticed this time.

They were watching the passers by at least, and tried to pull Remus out of his stand when someone paying more attention to their phone passed quite closely. Unfortunately that destabilised Remus enough that his wobble fell towards the stranger, foot landing on their neck for a second before he registered enough to flip out of it.

“Sorry, didn't see you there. Jan-jan said I needed to pick the plate up with my toes.” Remus cheerfully explained, now holding a hand out to the person.

Remy slowly raised his hand to his neck, frowning between the fool who'd been waving his legs in the air moments before and his friend sat at the table. “This mark better be lit up like a Christmas tree now, or I'm going to start screaming at you for carelessness and nonsense.”

The man flipped himself over again, back bending enough he could look up and see his feet. “Well my foot is, but if I refuse to mention your neck, can I still be screamed at?”

“I'm Remy, he/him and are you going to be upside-down for the entire time we get to know each other?” He reached out to pull the foot up enough to see the evidence there.

“Remus, he/him and that's Janus, they/them, unless they've used meeting you as an excuse to run for their car.” He raised the foot in Remy's hands up and down a couple times as if they were shaking hands. “And if you want me to stay upside-down I'm happy to oblige.”

Remy looked his head to toe and back down, before snickering, “Gurl, I don't care, but you are going to drive my brother insane if you ever meet him. I'm going to get coffee. You coming?”

“Only when you say I can.” Remus followed as he set off, still walking on his hands, and his leer audible.

[magikkittenz]

for @thineownpecanmother for our small secret santa gift exchange!

[izzyfandoms]

Dukesleep - Blood

(This is one of 36 Halloween-themed ficlets I'm posting today! One for every sides/Remy/Emile/Thomas ship plus creativitwins!)

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @spookedferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1

Masterpost

Remy screamed when a pair of hands suddenly landed on his waist from behind him. He jumped forward, pulling away and spinning around to get a good look at his attacker.

He realised immediately that it was not an attacker. Instead, if was his boyfriend, Remus, who was grinning victoriously at him, as he had just successfully scared Remy.

Remus's hands were covered in something sticky and red - it looked like blood, but was probably fake.

Remy looked down at himself. There were two bright red handprints staining his favourite white t-shirt, and he let out a loud, offended gasp.

"Remus, what the fuck?!" He exclaimed.

"It's Halloween, baby! I had to scare you!"

"You did not have to scare me," Remy hissed. "And you didn't have to get bloody handprints on my shirt, either!"

Remus looked down at his hands, then at Remy's shirt, and then back at Remy's face.

He gave him a smile that was half sheepish, and half still mischievous.

"It's fake?"

"Yeah, I know it's fake, dumbass. But the stains are real!"

"I mean, you can take off your shirt."

Remy glared at Remus, though it was as half-hearted as it always was when he tried to glare at his boyfriend. He still loved him, even when Remus tried his best to annoy him.

"You're being an asshole, so you don't get to see me shirtless."

"But what if I took my shirt off?"

Remy thought about it for a moment, looking his boyfriend over and actually considering the offer.

"Maybe..."

Remus grinned. "And... what if I kissed you? Would you forgive me then?"

Remy also thought about that for a beat.

"If you wash your hands first," Remy finally decided.

"Deal."

[vindicatedvirgil]

soulmate september / day twelve: man of his dreams

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Day Twelve: You meet your soulmate in your dreams every night.

Summary: Remy and Remus meet every night; over time, Remy becomes an insomniac.

Ship: Dukesleep (Remus x Remy)

@tsshipmonth2020

---

The first time that Remy met his soulmate, it was in their shared dreamspace. Remy was lying on an island beach and up walked a child his age, fake mustache plastered over his lips and wacky, colorful clothes donned over his thin body. Remy slid his glasses up to glance at him. 

“And who would you be, babe?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking at the jaunty walk of the other. 

“I’m Remus, but you can call me anytime,” he responded, and Remy scoffed, wanting to lay back down onto his towel and enjoy the rest of his dreams. “You must be my soulmate.”

“I don’t know about that,” Remy responded coldly, watching as Remus sat down in the sand beside him, burying his toes as far as they could go. It reminded Remy of ostriches, who buried their heads deep into the sand. “I’m Remy,” he finally said.

The two sat in silence for a while. Remus sighed, stretching his arms over his head. “Well, not that this wasn’t fun, but I should wake up so I can torment my brother a little bit. See you tomorrow night, soulmate.”

-

The pair met in much the same way over the next few years, usually in Remy’s dreamspace. They’d complain about their families to each other and whine about school. Remus would make crude jokes and Remy learned to appreciate the humor that his soulmate held, and he even began to enjoy seeing what outfits the other could come up with.

When Remy was in high school, though, he began to suffer from extreme insomnia, so he seldom saw Remus in his dreams. Due to this, Remus began to grow more concerned for his soulmate, but they never mentioned where they lived or where they could find each other. So Remus was helpless.

One night, when Remy did manage to fall asleep, he ended up in Remus’ mindspace; unlike Remy’s, which always took the form of a relaxing beach, this was far simpler, and a bit surprising given the strange mind that Remus had. It was an apartment. Remy found himself immediately feeling at home there, and Remus held him close, talking about how worried he was and how he’d search the whole world for Remy so that he’d be able to protect his soulmate from the evil aliens and octopi and spiders.

When Remus wasn’t looking, Remy wrote down his phone number, then woke up. A few hours later, his phone chimed, and there was a time and an address. It was a coffee shop; it just so happened to be Remy’s favorite. He wondered how often he and Remus had passed each other or been a few minutes away from each other.

When he stepped into the coffee shop the following day, he immediately spotted Remus, who was dressed similarly to how he usually did in their dreamspace. He stepped up to the man, pushing his sunglasses up, and smirked.

“Hey, babes.”

[siren1song]

Somethin’ About Ya

Summary: Remus kind of really love his partner, but don't tell Remy that.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and beheading

Pairing: Dukesleep

Word Count: 1,048

Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @another-sandersidesblog, @strawberryjellystuff, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit, @gr3ml1n-loser, @main-chive, @firey-alex, @orca-iguana, @spooky-scary-virgil, @yalltookmyurlideas, @sanderssidesweirdo, @stormypaint, @just-a-little-bit-gay-oops, @dying-is-a-hobby, @rose-gold-roman, @the-angry-ship, @rosesisupposes, @just-perhaps

Notes: This is for @bitchy-sleep and @not-in-the-gutter because they were both being really cute right in front of my salad.

Commissions!! | Buy Me a Kofi!! | Join Casper’s Crew!! | Ao3 Link!!

If there was one thing Remus could list that he liked about Remy it’d probably be how fun they were. Or… maybe the way they snorted when he told a joke? No it’d definitely be… fucking everything.

God, what was he thinking trying to list just one thing?

Like… they were hot as all with a killer fashion sense. Mesh shirts under crop tops and a mini skirt? Fucking hell.

Plus they knew how to cheer him up. Sure he may not be an avid coffee drinker but the fact that they brought him the sweetest coffee they could find on days he woke up with a hangover because they both went out and decided to go clubbing the night before and let loose was… really appreciated honestly.

They were also incredibly indulgent in the things he was interested in. How could that not be something he listed? Once, they sent him so many pictures and videos of squid and octopus just to watch him get excited over the animals.

Plus he’d do anything for the way they smiled at him when he pulled them into his lap without a word just because he was craving affection.

…Honestly he’d do anything for them period. Be it eating seafood or chopping off his own hand he’d do it all and more if they asked him to.

Well… with exceptions. He still liked to pretend they weren’t dating when other people asked, despite the two of them living in the same apartment and getting legally married for the tax benefits.

Sometimes Remus mentally called them his spouse and felt his heart rate increase and his face flush and every time he’d find himself grateful that Remy was either asleep on the floor (because fuck beds he guessed) or out of the house for any variety of reasons.

It was fun fucking with people though. He told Logan once that they hated each other when Remy was in his lap and their head against his shoulder.

They backed him up by not-so-lightly whacking his chest. Remus is pretty sure Logan is still confused about their relationship.

“I swear to all that is out there if you’re about to space out while I’m doing your makeup and make that cute little face of concentration that will ruin my progress sweets, I am beheading you twice.”

Letting out a loud snort, Remus snatched the black lipstick in Remy’s hand managed to swipe it over their cheek, cackling as they let out an indignant shriek and snatched the lipstick back.

They looked in the bathroom mirror to assess the damage, and Remus got out of dodge before Remy broke out the spray bottle they used to “keep Remus in line.”

Lotta good that did them, Remus was a free spirit.

“You little bitch I am cursing your bloodline!”

Remus cackled, stopping in the living room and whirling around just as Remy collided into his chest, clearly trying to hide their grin.

“I’m not gonna have a bloodline Remy, neither of us can give birth.”

Remy grumbled, looking at one of Remus’ hands that he had settled on their shoulders.

And then they fucking jabbed a foundation stick on his forehead and smeared it over to the other side in a Lion King style.

“You motherfucker!” Remus yelped, leaping back from Remy to swipe a finger over the foundation to see what color his partner had branded him with.

“You mauled me with lipstick, sweets. You really expect me not to retaliate?” Remy asked, recapping the foundation and raising a perfectly done eyebrow at him.

Remus grinned, and Remy narrowed their eyes.

“What are you planning.”

His grin grew wider, and he took a step back. As he expected, Remy’s hand shot out to hook on one of the belt loops of his jeans to keep in him close, and Remus took the opportunity to grab their arm and get them into a low dip.

The resulting giggle was like music as cheesy and dumb as that sounded.

“What the fuck, Remus?”

“Just treating you like a princess, babe,” Remus teased, his grin growing wider when Remy was clearly flustered.

And then pressed his forehead to theirs and pecked their nose.

It took a solid ten seconds for Remy to realize Remus’ goal and glare daggers at him.

“Let me go you monster fucking asshole.”

Remus suppressed a laugh, then dropped Remy to the ground not-so-gently.

“I’m going to behead you twice,” Remy started, once they got their breathing under control, “and send your fingers to your brother.”

“Hey, leave Margorita out of this, nyx doesn’t deserve severed fingers in the mail.”

Remy raised an eyebrow at him, and he let out a snicker he’d been holding in.

“Send them to my ex instead, he’ll get a cackle out of his shriek.”

There was a small pause, and then Remy let out a loud snort, rolling their eyes.

“Okay okay whatever, we gotta get cleaned up so we can make it to the dinner with Logan since you weren’t paying attention when you agreed to whatever it was he was saying.”

Remus let out a long dramatic sigh and collapsed on the couch instead, making grabby hands in Remy’s direction, who obliged without a second though.

Once he got them in his grasp, he pulled them onto his chest and wrapped his arms around their shoulders, making getting up difficult while he stared at the ceiling.

“Nah, I’d rather cuddle with you. I’ll tell Logan you got deathly ill or some shit.”

Remy relaxed into Remus’ hold, letting out a slow breath.

“We gotta stop canceling plans to go out just because you want to stay home and cuddle, Remus.”

“Your words contradict your actions babe,” he pointed out, placing a small kiss on the top of Remy’s head and grinning when he felt his partner relax further into him.

“Probably because I don’t actually mind,” they mumbled, voice slurred in a way that made it clear to Remus they were about to fall asleep.

The fact that they trusted him enough to sleep on his chest, not caring about the makeup smeared on their faces, filled Remus’ heart up a bit. God, he had a lot of love for them. Bitch or not.

[dyke-remy]

Remy has been gone for 4 days!

Basic character info for the AU I talked about yesterday which I've choosen to call the 2 hearts 0 braincells AU

Remy Siest - 24 years old. They/them. p-ocd. Rude twink. Works as a barista. Is very talented at flirting and getting guys on dates but forgets ALL of that when they realize they have a giant crush on their best friend (Remus). Probably going through a coffee induced existensial crisis right as we speak.

Remus Dikeka - 24 years old. He/her/xeself. Demi gayromantic. Autistic, p-ocd. Works as a grave digger/cleaner and part time artist. Has literally never been in love until he suddenly started to daydream about kissing Remy. Is 100% sure Remy doesn’t reciprocate xem’s feelings. Has drawn/made up dozens of date ideas at this point.

Logan Kayk (26, he/him, lesbian) & Patty Kayk (27, She/her, lesbian) - Works at the same coffee place as Remy. Are desperatly trying to convince Remy to just confess already. Tho they do really enjoy hearing what idiotic love stuff the Rems has done this week. Married.

Roman Dikeka - 24 years old. He/him. Bi. Famous tv actor, especially in cheesy riverdale esque stuff. Was the one to introduce the Rems to each other since he befriended Remy in late high school when Remy helped the theater club with make up. Has dated Remy in the past. The Remy charm is still his ultimate weakness.

Janus Khadae (22, he/him, gay) & Virgil Coen (22, he/him, pan) - Has a weekly horror movie watch with Remus. They met when Remus walked in on the couple making out while sitting on a grave. Goth bf x emo bf. Constantly tells Remus that he is right in thinking Remy isn’t into him. Opposite energy of Lo and Pat.

Askblog: https://2-hearts-0-braincells-askblog.tumblr.com/

[sidespart]

(for the fic title ask) Coffee Soulmates this is based off of an idea I have in mind, I wanna see where you could go with it :)

Coffeeshop AU (naturally) Remy x Remus (Does this have a ship name?? Dukesleep/ Rem^2 thanks @katelynn-a-fan!) 

So Remus always goes to this one coffee place near his house which is open 24 hours, but despite the fact that he’s in almost every day, sometimes multiple times, the barrister STILL routinely gets his name wrong.

Which would be fine. Except every time the barista calls out Remelia or Reem or Reggie or WHATEVER it is today this...sunglasses guy swoops in and tries to claim Remus’ sweet, sweet caffeine for himself??

Turns out the name challenged barista has a habit of getting both Remy and Remus’ names wrong...and it’s not always possible to tell who he actually means, so they often end up walking out with the others beverage. 

And this would be cute and all...except they only meet each other when they’re caffeine deprived and associate the other with Coffee Stealing Crimes. Therefore they’re enemies.

(Remy thinks Remus is this awful feral (possible serial killer?? or florist? Why does he have so much soil on his cloths) who r-e-a-l-y needs to pay more attention to his personal grooming routine “seriously babe, is he actually rocking the 2000 X-men white streak in his hair or is it bird poop? like, inquiring minds need to know”).

(Remus thinks Remy is BORing and worse than that, a boring person who’s pretending to be interesting “ooh look at me I’ve got a fancy jacket and I like coffee and clubbing im sooo crazy. I could swing a cat in any Starbucks and hit ten of you....actually I think I’ve already done that”).

But despite this their coffee addictions mean they keep meeting each other. And standing next to each other waiting for their orders. And maybe complaining about the barista together. And maybe that extends to making fun of everyone else around them to each other. And then maybe actually conversation. And then maybe...feelings? 

Neither of them is prepared to deal with that. 

The solution is clearly more coffee. 

tl:dr like a very sassy slowburn-y coffee shop AU feat. two gay idiots. Also maaaybe the barista is virgil and maaaaybe he’s doing all this deliberately just to fuck with them.

For the fake fic titles asks

[snek-snacc]

Look me in the EYES, and tell me this isn't what a "Remus is in love song" would be like

https://youtu.be/eeb0pFdwTBg

[the-chaos-crew]

I mean, I’m not wrong! *all I can hear from this image* Remus: HEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE Remy: *sigh*

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

(Remy x Remus)

*knock on the door*

Roman:ill get it

Remy:Hey bitch, is your brother home?

Roman:...I thought i told you to stay away?

Remy:Bitch i don't take orders from you now is that sexy piece of work home?

Roman:...

Roman:Im gonna tell you something and I want you to do what i say..You're not good enough for my brother and I DONT want you around him. And if you so much breathe near him ill cut your head off. End.Of.Story.

*Slams door*

Remus:Who was that?

Roman: Oh no one important! :)

Just the Mailman Ree don't worry about it XD

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

hey baby (i think i wanna marry you)

this is the ring I based my description off of

thank you to @main-chive for beta-ing!!

Summary: Usually, the wedding comes after the proposal. Though Remy and Remus have never been ones for doing things the usual way. Warnings: the characters are drunk for like half the fic Wordcount: 1913

They’re both completely trashed at this point. Remus is draped out across the couch, and Remy has managed to somehow flop the top half of himself across Remus’s stomach and kick his legs up against the back of it and the wall it’s pushed against without hurting Remus. They’re silently vibing together, and Remy can think of nothing he’d rather be doing.

“Hey,” Remus says suddenly.

“Yeah?” Remy tips his head over to look at Remus, who’s staring up at the ceiling concentratedly.

“We should get married. Right now,” Remus whispers excitedly, turning gleaming eyes on Remy, and who is he to say no, especially when he wants to, too?

Remy tumbles onto the floor and comes up grinning at Remus. “Yes.” Remy flows to his feet and hauls Remus to eir feet as well. “I know a little chapel we can go to.”

“Nice!” Remus says. E gasps. “We should invite our brothers!”

“You call them, and I call the chapel?”

“Yeah!”

It takes three calls before anyone picks up, during which time he can hear Remus being both bossy and incredibly vague as e tells Roman to go to the chapel, and very chatty as e asks Patton to come over, please, they have a surprise for them. Finally they get everything set up and Remus is bouncing at Remy’s side as they wait for Patton and Roman to show up.

“What’s this,” Roman immediately asks, looking between the two of them and the building with dawning comprehension and increasing concern. “Oh, please tell me you’re not…”

“We are!” Remus giggles, and Remy beams at how cute e is. He can’t wait to wake up tomorrow married to em, except he can wait because first he gets to actually marry em; get walked down the aisle, exchanges vows and rings—

“Wait.” Remy looks over at Remus seriously. “We’ve got to get rings!”

Remus gasps, scanning the ground and turning out eir pockets. Two rocks, some sort of slime, and a very small ball of twine fall out, and Remus takes the twine and ties it in a little bow around Remy’s finger.

“There,” e proclaims. “We can get a fancier ring tomorrow if you want one.”

Remy stares at the ring starry-eyed. “I love it.” Remus beams.

“Awww,” Patton coos, and Remy whips around to look at them.

“Pat! You’re here!”

“I’m here!” Patton agrees, grinning.

“Now we can start the wedding!” Remy tells Remus excitedly. E starts bouncing.

“Kiss for good luck?” Remus presents eir cheek to Remy, and he kisses it happily.

“Aren’t you two drunk?” Roman mutters as he follows Remus inside the chapel. “Should you really be getting married while drunk?”

“Shh, it’s cute,” Patton tells him, waving him after Remus and then turning to Remy. “Am I walking you down the aisle?”

“Yeah!” Remy grins.

“Awesome,” Patton says, presenting their arm to Remy. He takes it, and after a moment of waiting, they open the doors and start down the aisle.

Roman is sitting in one of the pews near the front, looking a little disgruntled but not unhappy to be there, and Remus is… wow. He knows he saw em not even a minute ago, but seeing em standing in front of the altar, beaming at Remy, shoots fizzy excitement through his veins and he just wants to run up and kiss em. He resists, mostly because Patton still has hold of his arm and they’re not running up to the altar, but he does pull on their arm a little with his pace. They speed up a bit, and he shoots them a grateful grin.

When they get to the altar, Patton kisses his cheek. “I’m happy for you,” they tell him, and Remy beams at them. They squeeze his arm and go sit next to Roman, and Remy turns his beam to Remus, who is beaming right back.

Remy tunes out most of the speech the officiator gives, barely managing to hear when it’s his cue to say “I do.”

“You may kiss the groom,” the man says, and Remus almost tackles Remy with eir enthusiasm. Remy kisses back just as passionately.

“Oh my gosh,” Roman says, not that either of them are paying much attention to him. Patton pats his arm sympathetically.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy groans loudly, extending the sound as long as he can before he runs out of breath. Remus makes a sympathetic sound from somewhere across the room. Remy flips em off.

“Screw you and your inability to get hangovers,” Remy tells em.

“No thanks, I’m ace.” 

Remy flips em off with the other hand too. E chuckles and there’s a quiet thump of something being placed on the bedside table.

“I’ve got aspirin and some water whenever you’re ready, as well as breakfast in the kitchen.” Remy feels a kiss pressed against his head and decides he will face the day, actually, pushing himself up from lying face down and maneuvering into a sitting position. He downs the water, barely remembering to take the aspirin along with it, and shuffles his way into the kitchen, collapsing in the nearest chair and putting his head down against the table.

“I’ve got toast with a pound of butter on it, if any heathens here want that sort of thing,” Remus says, setting the plate in front of him.

“Shut up,” Remy grumbles, tilting his head so that he could eat without sitting up. “You have no room to talk when you put a jar of jelly on your toast. I love you,” he adds, because the toast is perfect and even if he’s got a hangover bigger than the Grand Canyon, he does love Remus. Very much.

“Love you too, star, though you’re exaggerating about how much jelly I use.” Remus sounds… off. A little nervous? E doesn’t get nervous.

Remy sits up and looks at em. “Something wrong?”

E takes a bite of toast before asking, “How much do you remember of last night?”

“Oh my gosh,” Remy says. “Did we go streaking? Please tell me we didn’t go streaking.”

“No!” Remus exclaims.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Remy sighs. “My beauty? Not for just anyone to see.”

“Anyone who looks at you can see how beautiful you are, though,” e tells him.

“Not important.” Remy waves a hand. “What did we do last night?” He casts back through his memories, hazy as they are.

“We, um.” Remus says it at the same time it clicks in Remy’s mind. “Sort of got married?”

“We got married!” Remy exclaims.

“Yeah,” Remus agrees, watching Remy with a wary look. Remy’s elation wilts.

“Did—did you not want to get married?” Remy asks quietly. “‘Cause, I mean, we were drunk and all, I know everyone has regrets from what they’ve done while drunk and I’m sure we can annul it or something—”

“Love,” Remus cuts through his babbling, and Remy falls silent, looking at Remus anxiously. Remus is The One for Remy, and if he’s not for em… “I don’t regret getting married to you, not in the slightest.”

“Are you sure?” Remy checks. “You seem upset; if you’re just trying to make me feel better then I don’t want it.”

“I…” Remus grimaces. “I’m a little disappointed.” Remy has a second to be hopelessly crushed before Remus continues, “That wasn’t how I planned to propose, and I’m kind of upset with myself for doing it like I did, but I’m not upset with you or being married to you, I promise—”

“You were planning to propose to me?” Remy asks softly, emotion squeezing his throat.

“I—yeah,” Remus admits. “I was going to take you on a date, and we’d go get Starbucks and then go on a walk together, and I was going to hide the ring in whatever food thing you ordered, and you would’ve had that offended-that-things-haven’t-gone-exactly-as-you-expected look when you bit into it, and then I was going to get on one knee, and—”

“Wait!” Remy interrupts. “Don’t tell me.” Remus looks startled and slightly hurt. “Do you have the ring now?”

“I mean, it’s in the bedroom, but yeah,” Remus says.

“Go get it.” Remus squints at him but does what he says. Remy realizes distantly that his hangover is gone, dissipated in his excitement, but that’s unimportant right now. Remus comes in, holding a little black box. Remy pulls em in front of him, takes the box from em, and gets on one knee.

“Wait, are you—” Remus starts to ask.

“Remus Sanders,” Remy says. “You’re the best boyfriend I could ask for and my best friend. I love you so much, even if you’re annoyingly immune to hangovers and go through a jar of jelly a day. I can’t imagine life without you and I hope I never have to know what it’s like. I know we just got married last night, and that was perfect, but I’m pretty sure there’s a bunch of legal stuff that we didn’t do that we probably need to do to be officially married. So,” he pulls open the box “marry me again?”

“You jerk,” Remus says, but e’s beaming at him and wiping away tears. “You stole my proposal.”

“You stole my heart,” Remy returns. “Turnabout’s fair play.”

“Jerk,” Remus repeats fondly. “You stole my ring, too, do you know how much time I spent looking for the perfect ring for you?”

“I already have the perfect ring,” Remy tells em, wiggling his finger with the twine ring on it. Having been mostly untied from being slept on, the motion causes the ring to slip off his finger and crumple to the ground. Remy stares at it for a moment, then looks Remus dead in the eye and insists, “Perfect.”

E snorts and plucks the ring out of the box. “Do you want to look at the actual ring I got you or constantly retie the twine around your finger and pretend it’s a good ring?”

“I will have you know that this ‘twine’, as you so callously put it, is very dear to my heart and I will treasure it forever,” Remy declares, picking it up and stuffing it in his pocket. “But also, yes, I wanna see the ring.” He leans over eir hands to examine it.

At first glance it looks like a plain silver band, albeit a tiny one. Looking closer reveals a line of diamonds (maybe? He thinks they’re diamonds. If they’re not diamonds, they’re close enough to looking like them that he can’t tell the difference), spanning about a third of the ring, with little decorative dots in between each jewel. It’s pretty, and he likes it, though he doesn’t see whatever Remus saw in it to pick it out for him.

“It’s called a rem ring,” Remus explains. “Plus, the little diamonds in a row reminded me of a constellation, which reminded me of how much you love stars.”

Remy gasps delightedly. “A rem ring?”

“Yeah!” E grins at him.

“It’s perfect,” Remy declares, plucking it from Remus’s hands and slipping it on. “I love it.” Remus beams at him, and Remy decides he can be a little sappy. As a treat. “Perfect,” he echoes, “like you,” and kisses em.

The kiss is perfect, too, and when they pull back Remy finds himself beaming at his fiancé—well.

“Hey, you never said yes.” Remy pokes Remus. “Marry me again?”

“Of course,” Remus says immediately, and Remy beams at his fiancé as he pulls em in for another kiss.

[magikkittenz]

Some doodles

[izzyfandoms]

Dukesleep - Naughty List

This is one of many, many ficlets I am posting on Christmas day. Hope you enjoy!

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @glassferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1

Masterpost

"Babe, I bet you're on Santa's naughty list," Remy said suddenly, for no apparent reason, as the couple watched TV together.

Remus turned his head away from the television to grin at Remy. This was always either a terrible sign or a really good one, though Remy immediately knew that it would be the former, given the context.

"Sounds sexy."

Remy huffed, elbowing Remus's side, not nearly enough to hurt: just a small nudge.

"It does not," Remy said. "Come on, do you have to be so dirty about everything?"

"Hey, you're my boyfriend! You should've known I'd make a joke there, my little blood drop."

Remy sighed, giving Remus a flat look.

"Do you have to give me all the weirdest nicknames? Like can't you, I dunno, use a normal one for once?"

"Nah. Sounds too boring."