#dude's username was literally just 'He'

[cetaceanhandiwork]

was thinking again about this guy today and the posts he made on election-watching websites back in 2008. easily in the top 10 troll gimmick accounts I've ever personally encountered

I found another post by “He” from the old FiveThirtyEight Blogspot comments, this one discussing his experience as a “Marine Combat Cook”.

Bon appetit.

Keep reading

[coco-loco-nut]

Father’s Day

pairing: max verstappen x reader

summary: max is dating an international star

a/n: i literally had this idea last night and had to write a short blurb, i promise i am writing other stuff tho 🫶

masterlist

————————

y/username happy father’s day, daddy. i love you and your big…

maxverstappen1 anything to share with me?

y/username not pregnant, just letting everyone know how turned on you get me

maxverstappen1 love you too, schat

user12 anyone else not getting it, like she is so hot and he is 😬

y/username you know that one barbie scene with the rock? that’s my maxie. also if you think he’s ugly, that’s fine, more of him for me 😍

user98 Y/N BARBIE FAN CONFIRMED

y/username priority 1: old barbie movies priority 2: max

user3 ON THE MAIN?

user33 PR monster got her, I really wanna know what she was about to say

recordlabel we don’t… we actually want bleach for our eyes

redbullracing we will share our bleach if you send us demos of her next album 👀

charlesleclerc Go on, finish the sentence, I dare you.

y/username his big heart, ego, ass, trophy case, therapy bill from childhood trauma, i could keep going on but i don’t want to make you feel emasculated

user62 okay, but like how did he bag her?

y/username he has incredible rizz, and look at him🤤

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you grin as Max lays on you lap, looking up at you with his beautiful blue eyes.

“You aren’t pregnant, Schat,” he laughs, your fingertips gently scratching his scalp.

“We could change that, get some practice in for after the wedding?” you watch his eyes widen as he quickly sits up.

“Practice makes perfect, why don’t we practice now?” Max suggests, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom.

Your wedding is small, only some close friends and family in attendance. The ceremony takes place in your backyard, no reception beyond a dinner afterwards.

Despite both your respective fame levels, you didn’t want anyone knowing of the marriage. Fans still thought you were dating, so when you got a positive pregnancy test, you were extra careful.

Max was grateful that you had a private recording studio in the house, for when you needed to drop the album. You didn’t mean to choose the surprise drop date to be at the end of your pregnancy, nor Father’s Day, but life worked in funny ways.

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you softly say, handing the little bundle off to Max.

“This is the best present, he’s beautiful,” Max hold back tears as he holds his son close to his chest.

“I’m not sure if I will be able to top this next year,” you laugh a little, your tiredness making an apparent after a long labor.

“You should take a nap, I’ll be okay with him,” Max runs a hand though your sweaty hair. To him, you’ve never looked more perfect.

“I have one thing to do first,” you yawn, pulling out your phone. Max slides into the hospital bed beside you, you immediately nestle into him, his warmth enveloping you.

instagram

y/username SURPRISE! midnight rain is out now! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it for the past four years. There is so much in my life that happened, so enjoy my journey through heartbreak, love, and growth. I want to quickly thank Max and my team for making this possible 💙

user1 AHHH this is so good, but didn’t she and Max break up? Why is she thanking him?

user3 dude, i think they are married, did you listen to everything else

user4 yeah, she had some songs about marriage, but she hasn’t been at any races since last year

user10 did y’all see the statement saying there won’t be a tour for the album?? crying in the club

user11 Okay, but Robin?? secret child??

maxverstappen1 endlessly proud of you, schatje

user5 we get it bro, she wrote Dress and The Alchemy about you

maxverstappen1 our little robin decided to hatch 💙

danielricciardo So happy for you and Y/n, mate. Big day for the Verstappen family, can’t wait to hold the little guy!

y/username he will love his Uncle Danny

y/username he’s perfect, just like his daddy

redbullracing what a gift for father’s day! sending our gift to you 💙

user42 guys, y/n’s song credits changed…

user21 OMG MAX AND Y/N ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A KID???

[jiarkives]

livestream

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ summary — you ask your boyfriend to watch your followers.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ character — bucky barnes (marvel)

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ content — fluff

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ notes — rushed ending WEEWOOWEEWOO also, this is based on @loveisallyouneed1125’s idea, i just added a ~little~ twist to it. i hope this is to your liking, bestie! 🤍

~

Occasionally, you would do a cooking and baking livestream where you would teach your followers how to cook certain dishes or bake, while you talk to them about other stuff. Your teammates would sometimes pop in and talk for a few minutes before leaving you to your thing once more.

Today, however, you had decided to let Bucky join you since your followers have been asking you for more boyfriend content with Bucky.

So you quickly set up your phone on the kitchen counter, making sure to leave enough space for you to work while also being in the camera’s view, then you went live.

You and Bucky waited for your followers to flood in, greeting some of them as they left comments and greetings. Although most of them were just smashing their keyboards and emojis, you still did your best to greet them.

After a few minutes, you got started on your baking with Bucky helping. You had mutually decided on baking chocolate chip cookies, finding it the easiest to bake together. Throughout the process, you occasionally gave out instructions to both Bucky and the viewers.

“Okay, you guys, let me just pop these into the oven real quick,” you said as you placed the last piece of dough on the baking tray. “Babe, can you please watch them while I do this?”

While you were busy with the cookies, Bucky watched the comments like a hawk, staring at them as they flooded in.

User 1: dude you’re literally so fucking cool

“Someone said a swear!” Bucky called out to you as he continued staring at the camera, his eyes narrowed.

“Tell them not to swear, it’s bad,” you chided like how a mother would to her child.

Bucky then recited the username of the commenter, pointing at the camera, “You better watch your language, kid. Your mama’s not going to like that. Mine certainly did not.”

The comments were flooded with all kinds of keyboard and emoji smashes, and words that are borderline incoherent as they reacted to you and Bucky acting like strict parents.

User 1: sorry mom and dad 😔

User 2: pls adopt me y’all are literally my parents

User 3: do u guys need a dog i can bark

User 4: ilysm pls dont die yet

“I don’t think your parents would appreciate you having Avengers as your new parents. Sorry, kid.” He shook his head in mock disappointment. “No, we don’t need a dog. We already have Sam. And no, I’m not dying anytime soon. Thanks for your concern, I guess...”

Sam, who was currently in the livestream, spammed the comments with all sorts of insults for Bucky. He, of course, ignored them all, but not without rolling his eyes.

User 5: i’m gonna tell my friends i spent time with the avengers on the weekends 😎

“Well then, tell your friends I said hi.”

“Tell them I did too!” You said as you came into the camera’s view. “And you seem like you’re having fun without me. I am very hurt.”

User 6: NOOOO we love you mom!!!!

User 7: mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry.

You snorted as you saw the comment, while Bucky’s brows furrowed, “What does that even mean?”

You laughed, “I’ll teach you all those slangs later, babe.”

[love-belle]

i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the songs she wrote haunt him while he's trying to move on.

or

for when you thought that it'd be forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lewis hamilton x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - im so SORRY!!!!!! i genuinely have no inspiration to write atm but i still wrote this bc i felt so guilty :// i hope u like this, i love you thank u sm for sticking around <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 3,628,344 others

yourusername my ep "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" is finally hereeee!!!!!!! i wrote one half of it on the floor of my closet and the other half in my gf's (carmenmmundt) bedroom so this obviously holds a lot of meaning to me :) i hope all of u are able to heal a part of yourself while listening to this just like how i was able to heal myself while writing and recording this <3 i love u and im so proud of u in case no one told u this today, thank u so much for supporting me, i'll forever be in love with u all

18,528 comments

username IM SCREAMING MISS MA'AM WHAT IS THIS

username you were driving fast??? i was holding back??? and i loved you babe??? but i bet u knew that???

username nothing has ever and will ever hurt me like this ep has

username I MEANT DON'T GO IT CAME OUT AS GOODBYE U SAID FINE WHEN YOU SHOULD'VE SAID WE COULD TRY

username the way she's literally our mother like AHSHSJSJJSJSKSS I LOVE U

username lewis hamilton watch ur back

username tears are streaming down what the fuck

username OH SHIT I WON THE BREAKUP

username love how this ep is her crying abt lewis and simultaneously shitting on him and somehow still blaming herself for everything

username THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 HEAVEN 😭 KNOWS 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 AND 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 GOES 😭

landonorris nice album 👍

-> yourusername thank u this random dude said it hit all the right corners

-> yourusername unlike u in the last race

-> landonorris UNPROVOKED

-> username NAH SHE'S SO WRONG FOR THIS

username did it hurt? when y/n finally acknowledged her break up but with a 5 song ep that rips out ur heart out of ur body and crushes it?

username need lewis to blind react to this NOW

username I KNOW THAT I SHOULD KNOW BETTER

username the way i know lewis saw this post and cried like imagine having to say that y/n y/l/n is ur ex gf???

-> username right like i would litch never show my face again

-> username no bc he was so "my girl is angry with me i hope death takes me swiftly" HOW IS HE HOLDING UP

username they still follow each other that HAS to mean something

username all this time we were hoping for a lewis x y/n collab but instead we got a break up and endless PAIN

-> username no bc we got "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" (feat. lewis hamilton getting ripped to shreds)

carmenmmundt so proud 🩷

-> yourusername ILOVEYOUSOMUCH

username NO ONE TALK TO ME IM CRYING OVER TWO WEEKS AGO

username WHEN U SAID WE'RE LIKE YOUR MUM AND DAD KNEW U LOVED ME BABE WHEN U TOLD ME THAT

username im in shambles whatcthe fufk

lilymhe tears are falling down LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE IT

-> yourusername i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE YOU

username CAUSE U BROKE MY HEART AND MY SELF ESTEEM FOR A GIRL WHO'S A REMIX OF ME

-> username when i tell u my jaw DROPPED

username she did NOT hold back

-> username committed several felonies one by one

-> username no bc "now you're living the goddamn dream have a golden star this one's for free" had me SHOOK

username "nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it" called me out SO BAD

username i bet lewis didn't last one (1) verse without bursting into tears

charles_leclerc 1/10. the singer called my pasta "dog shit".

-> yourusername it's a miracle i survived that

-> charles_leclerc ALEX LOVED IT

-> yourusername U LITERALLY TOLD HER UR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDED ON IT

username the way i loved u i will not be embarrassed of that just should've known when to quit ARE U KIDDING ME Y/N

username "the love we had was eating me whole i had to send it home" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username yoko broke me half bc WHAT DO U MEAN he misunderstood her 😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,628,148 others

lewishamilton better than i was two weeks ago

16,689 comments

username SCREECHING WHAT THD FUCK

username nah im like wtf

username WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN TJE LAST SLIDE???? LEWIS????

username nah the audacity of men sometimes

username im going feral wgatctefuck

landonorris GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-> landonorris sorry oscar took my phone but the sentiment stands the same

-> lewishamilton lando?

username bitches are so messy sometimes i LOVE it

username the way i know he cried while hitting post

-> username frrrr LMFAO like there's no way he's this thriving after the break up

username lewis it's okay to cry after losing mom 🗣️🥶😭🙏 we're suffering too 💯‼️🔥💔

username so no one's gonna mention that one interview?????

-> username please i SCREAMED like what do u mean he dissed her on live tv

-> username "yeah i mean you can either be mature about some things or go about it the childish way and i guess she's chosen her way so yeah"

-> username for me it's the way charles and lando both looked at him like they knew my guy was talking out of his ass 😭

username when he announced that he was dating y/n and the caption was "better than i was before" but WITH her and now it's when they've broken up and he's WITHOUT her

-> username WHY WHY WHY WH YWHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP

username slowly going insane over the fact that we're never gonna get a dog mom y/n feature on roscoe's acc ever again

maxverstappen1 not really, no. we can hear you listening to apologise by one republic.

-> lewishamilton we're not even in the same hotel?

-> username NOT APOLOGISE BY ONE REPUBLIC

-> username oh so he's DESTROYED destroyed

username nah bc if the rumours are true i will go straight for manslaughter bc wtf

-> username GIRL WHAT RUMOURS

-> username AJSJSISIKWISISJJS so basically some people were saying that y/n and lewis broke up bc lewis was finding it hard to be in a long distance relationship and they weren't seeing each other much and also he was (APPARENTLY) saying that he's js not at a point where he WANTS to be in a relationship but just 3 weeks after their break up he was seen with a girl and they're allegedly dating idk

-> usernme NAH WHAT THR CHCK

-> username how's he gonna say he doesn't wanna be in a relationship but turn around and date someone else like BRO

-> usernme lewis didn't cheat but he's still a traitor 😔💔

-> username "got the news just last month that i'm exhausting and you're not in love" makes so much sense now wtf

georgerussell63 pick up my phone??? what is this behaviour lewis???

-> lewishamilton you've done nothing except yell at me

-> georgerussell63 IT'S SO JUSTIFIED PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE

-> username russell george i am shook

-> username omg he's madddddd

username the entire grid is gonna jump lewis bc of this no one can convince me otherwise

-> username sebastian probably yelled at him over phone

-> username toto is delaying contract renewal bc of this

-> usernme george is gonna make him kiss the barriers bc carmen asked him to

-> username mick is definitely giving him the silent treatment

-> username roscoe barked at him

mercedesamgf1 lewis, come back to the garage, we're calm. - toto wolff

-> lewishamilton make max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, fernando and daniel leave and then i will.

-> mercedesamgf1 they're not gonna jump you, lewis. - toto wolff

-> maxverstappen1 yes we will

-> charles_leclerc yes we will

-> carlossainz55 yes we will

-> landonorris yes we will

-> oscarpiastri yes we will

-> danielricciardo yes we will

-> fernandoalo_official yes we will

-> mercedesamgf1 yes they will. - toto wolff

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 3,186,419 others

yourusername i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours

comments on this post have been limited

username AHHHDJEJDIEJEKSKSK

username nobody speak to me they finally unfollowed each other

username IM CRYING ARE WE REALLY DONE DONE NOW

username OH SHIT YOU WON THE BREAKUP 🗣️🔥💯‼️

username i will forever remember the y/nlewis era 💔💔💔💔💔

username nah wtf i wasn't even this sad over my ACTUAL REAL parents divorce

username do it for roscoe guys get back bc of him :(

charles_leclerc it's november what are you doing

-> yourusername it's the formation lap what are you doing

-> charles_leclerc STOP I'M TRYING TO GET OVER THAT

-> username IM CRYING SHE WILL NEVER LET THE GRID LIVE IN PEACE

username i will always remember the way lewis was so :) whenever she was around and the way y/n was so 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like

username IM SCREAMING THEY UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER

-> username no bc why am i so destroyed over two exes unfollowing each other

username y/n i will always let u bejeweled pls give me a chance

roscoelovescoco not cools mum's

-> yourusername LOG OUT OF THIS ACC I SWEAR TO GOD LEWIS

-> username IM SCREAMING WHAT THE FUCK

username I DON'T NEED YOUR LIGHT TO BE LIT

lilymhe YOU'RE GLOWING I LOVE U STAY HAPPY ALWAYS AHSHSJSISN 😡😡😡😡😡

-> yourusername MY LOVE I LOVEEEEE YOU

username forever in love with her like AHSJSJSS

username i screamed

username someone sedate me im ginna pass out WHAT IS THIS

[nandosbunni]

our secret moments pt. ii | 𝓯. 𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓸

pairing: fernando alonso x f!actress!reader, socmed!au

synopsis: you and fernando's rumored relationship isn't a rumor at all. pt. i

a/n: honestly have no clue if this is gonna have plot and an ending or i'm just writing blurbs because i can. ALSO, age gap mention, but y/n is in her late 20s

f1

Liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, fernandoalo_official, and others

f1 Some of last night's best dressed, the ladies in the paddock certainly slayed the house down at the Austrian Grand Prix! 🤩

View all comments

username the caption i can't—

username admin is definitely gen z

f1 👀

username bro actually replied😭

username el nano once again liking another post with y/n in it

username i am sooo convinced something's going on between them

username you need to touch grass

username alex and yn ate so hard i fear

yourusername feeling honored to be considered best dressed alongside some of the loveliest ladies🥰

carmenmmundt i love you x

yourusername i love you too bbg

georgerussell63 stop flirting with my girlfriend in public??

yourusername no❤️

username y/n is so funny

lilymhe 🥺🫶🫶

yourusername 😘

username women supporting women, we love to see it

yourprivateaccount

Liked by carmenmmundt, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and others

yourprivateaccount just the love of my life being the pookiest man ever❤️

View all comments

fernandoalo_official Mi bella, why?

georgerussell63 you're adorable, man

fernandoalo_official 😠

yourprivateaccount he's not wrong, my love is actually the cutest human being

fernandoalo_official ☺️❤️

georgerussell63 i call you cute and get an angry emoji, but she does it and gets a heart? 🙄

fernandoalo_official

Liked by jensonbutton, yourusername, oscarpiastri and others

fernandoalo_official Always a joy to be in London 🇬🇧

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username he looks so good in that suit oml

username still one of the hottest guys on the grid

username always love a non-aston fernando update

yourusername

Liked by fernandoalo_official, susie_wolff, lilymhe and others

yourusername always down for a night out 🥂

Comments on this post have been restricted.

yourcostar so glad you tried out my favorite london resto 🥺

yourusername liked this comment

yourusername i am now OBSESSED with their filet mignon, thanks sm for telling me about it 🫶

yourbestfriend my bestie ATE

yourusername liked this comment

f1gossipaccount

Liked by others

f1gossipaccount SPOTTED: F1 driver Fernando Alonso and actress Y/N last night in London ahead of the British Grand Prix. Guess the rumors weren't rumors at all, no? 👀

View all comments

username holy shit

username omygod they really are together

username is it just me or anyone else find it off that he's older than her???

username she's in her late 20s, grow up

username dude it's weird, he's so much older than her

username why are y'all acting like she's in college or smth??? she's literally an adult

username i'm actually obsessed with their hug in the last pic

username who wouldn't be?

fernandoalo_official

Liked by oscarpiastri, aussiegrit, carmenmmundt and others

fernandoalo_official Another year down, many more to go with you, vida mía ❤️

View all comments

yourusername 💋💌❤️

fernandoalo_official liked this comment

username OKAY IT'S OFFICIAL THEY REALLY ARE TOGETHER

username i'm actually screaming f1 rumors were right for once

username WAIT what do they mean "another year" ???

username omg wait...

username DOES THIS MEAN THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LONGER

username ISN'T THAT Y/N'S OSCARS DRESS FROM TWO YEARS AGO IN THE SECOND PIC???

username you're so right like?? how long have they been together actually😭

username it's actually so scary they've managed to hide their relationship for so long considering the paparazzi and gossip sites

username the way they're already my favorite f1 couple

f1

Liked by danielricciardo, yukitsunoda0511, alex_albon and others

f1 Found some of the paddock's lovebirds roaming in the Silverstone circuit ahead of the British Grand Prix!

View all comments

username not f1 admin hardlaunching them😭

username admin for sure made this post just to get in on the hype

username obsessed with rebecca's paddock fits

username the fernandoyn ship has sailed. i repeat, THE FERNANDOYN SHIP HAS SAILED

yourusername

Liked by fernandoalo_official, astonmartinf1, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername congrats on p3, my love! i'm so happy to be able to witness you up on that podium again, and i can't wait to see you up there some more. i love you 💚

Comments on this post have been restricted.

fernandoalo_official mi corazón, te amo ❤️

yourusername liked this comment

yourusername te amo, my nando ❤️

[serxinns]

Yandere Older class 1a x Deadpool reader

You were a goofy sarcastic playful hero who always made jokes while brutally punching villains in the face while doing wacky and wild stuff saying the most unhinged stuff with a smile on your face and your Fans and Most pro heroes love that about you

Iida was always with you not because you were dead gorgeous and your fighting skills were amazing but because he's worried about you! You pulling these dangerous stunts makes him have a heart attack whenever he peacefully wants to see the news he sees you teasing and taunting a very dangerous and very deadly villian riling them up to the point where they just slash at anything to get you to stop your yapping, next thing you know he's grabbing his hero suit and running over there right now he always scold you for being u safe while you just either laugh it off do those cringey "I'm sowwy🥺" look iida pretends to be cringe out about but deep down he thinks your pouty face and puppy eyes are cute,

Bonus: both you and Iida's fans agree that Iida was the Dad friend and make those complications video of him being one

Bakugo wants you to depend on him and look up to him he always wants you to be by his side whenever you work with him, but you being a little shit makes his job way harder, you always making fun little jokes and uncanny comedic lines while the two of you are literally in a life and death situation while you're just singing nursery rhymes, He always yells at you to be serious and all you did was say "uh oh cranky pants need a sippy cup?" He chased you around that day and seeing that cute little cheeky face of yours made him blush he always acts like he doesn't wanna work with you but in truth, he stalks your schedule and demands his agency to work close to yours but he won't admit that even the fans kinda see that he cares for you and loved you and himself dynamic

Momo is the worried mother if you ever get hurt by a nasty villain she's beating that villain to a pulp heck even making the dude see the clouds, she always is very protective of you like a mother hen making sure you eat, sleep brush your teeth she always tell you to while you whined like a child, if you didn't bring your lunch don't worry she brought a little bento box for you!, whenever your merch comes out or before she's always the 1st one to get it. She even has a room dedicated to it (just like Izuku but we'll get to him) literally she and Izuku would have a battle about who got the rarest merch and expensive merch

Ochako is like your number 1 biggest fan she always knows your schedule as well so she can either watch you from afar and if you needed any help she'll be there to kick their asses!, she's like Pucca (if you know the childhood show congrats) she always watching you dreamily eyes fluttering but strong and dangerous if anyone messes with you, she's is always in her dream world imagining carrying you like a little princess and she's the knight although she's also ok with you holding her like that as well both ways make her blush and giggles and kicking her feet while floating up, she makes fanfiction of you x reader or her under a fake username ofc so she can write down all her fantasies (some of your classmates would follow that page secretly) she keeps an oversized merch t-shirt that you wrote an autograph

While Izuku may be all Might's number one fan who said he can't be yours as well? Like this dude knows it all has 4-6 pages of you, your quirk, your weapons, your personality, your likes and dislikes, your family, your address-, you name it! He doesn't even need to write down your schedule since he remembers it so easily dude has a great memory there's no denying it, whenever his fans scream all over him wondering what's his favorite hero everyone is so surprised when he mutters out you heck he's shy whenever he talks to you your his idol his darling his sweetie standing in front of him happily making jokes and laughing along or badass shooting and slashing any bad guys, as mentioned in mom's headcanon this boy got a WHOLE ROOM dedicated to you heck one time you jokingly put a dick shape drawing when he asked to Have a autograph he bought a photo case for that and put it on display like he's PROUD

Sero and Denki were your go-to when wanting to cause trouble and Crack some jokes heck all even flirt with each other trying to see who gets the most flustered denki craves whatever attention you give him whether trying to annoy him or not he loves it when you eyes are on him he may act like a carefree person who jokes with you but he's a possessive dude he glares at your fangirls from afar when they're squealing all over you trying to get a autograph calling you hot that made his blood boil that he had to intervene by saying there's a villain waving goodbye at the girls while their squealing got louder seeing Denki but Denki glared at them Sero is the calmer one but is Obsessive he loves everything about you whenever your close to him on the outside he as cool as a cat but inside he's dying screaming on the inside just wanting to hold you close he always ask for any sort of physical interaction like high fives, hugs, he even remembered you patting him on the back praising him for wrapping up the villains luckily someone recorded it and now he saves that in his phone watching it repeatedly over and over again also he keeps those spiderman x Deadpool comics

Jirou and Kiri are like Sero but she acts more like a soft tsundere while Kiri acts like a love-sick puppy following you around and worshipping you head to toe. She acts cool and tough around you but if you compliment her she turns red and hits you to shut up just like Izuku she's too shy to speak to you and always lets you do the talking while she doesn't pay attention just hearing your voice makes her trapped in a dazed smiling dreamily she just couldn't help it You were so adorable even under that mask she wants to cup her hands on your cheeks and give you the biggest kisses leaving you a hot flushed mess kiri on the other hand worships you like a God, he always rants to his friend teru about you and even works together with bakugo at times talking to him about you the two of them will rant on about how cool you are (mostly Him and bakugo just listens) he will invite you to spar with him and if he ever accidentally hurts you he feels so bad and apologies to you even tho you didn't even show any anger or sadness but he thinks you do but all you did was laugh saying how strong he was making the number 4 hero blush and crumble right there he always used to complimenting you on your skills body and even your muscles but you complimenting him!? It's like a kid getting a gold star for their behavior! After sparing he always buys you his favorite drink which you teased him about while he looked annoyed with your teasing he actually likes it and when you promise to stop he mentally whines wanting you to do more!

[covenists]

✦ I LOVE SPRINGSTEEN, FADED BLUE JEANS, TENNESSEE WHISKEY, L. NORRIS

you know you'd always love him just like you love your whiskey and jeans.

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, sydneysweeney, dualipa, and 571,483 more

yourusername back view? check.

view all 13,597 comments...

logansargeant 85% better than before

⤷ yourusername well at least i have progress than last year ig🤷🏻‍♀️

username y/n dressing up as bruce springsteen is not on my bingo card for today

username WHERE'S THE RED HAT??

⤷ yourusername at some point i lost it on my trip to maranello

⤷ username girl that aint lost your hat is stolen

username where's lando btw hes not liking this post

⤷ username busy celebrating his victory and doing his selfie with nando and max

⤷ username he is liking this but with his burner account

⤷ username which burner account are you talking abt

⤷ username the other one

username spill your jeans bestie

⤷ yourusername hnm!

sydneysweeney just missed the belt part, and even without the red hat it'll be just perfect.

username we just need to wait for her live to hear her randomly sing this

landonorris sure miss born in usa

⤷ yourusername sure am😎

username slayed and yass-ed

username i miss lando and y/n when they're still living together

⤷ username wait they're not?

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username i love american core y/n

⤷ username logan and y/n: 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥

username still had no idea how tf is THE lando norris is meeting a girl like her

⤷ username dude if you're jealous just say it

username (late) halloween costume of the year

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 359,102 more

yourusername betty and whiskey🥃👠

view all 9,556 comments...

fransisca.cgomes need that shirt like right now!

⤷ yourusername i ❤️ la betty is perfect

⤷ francisca.cgomes giving marilyn monroe

landonorris the prettiest to ever exist

landonorris MY GIRL

landonorris you're so beautiful🥴

⤷ yourusername you're as sweet as my whiskey

⤷ username he is so lovesick with her i can tell

⤷ username easy lando easy

⤷ username who am i in this big world

⤷ username lando is giving a love drunk man spam commenting his girlfriend's random post

username WHY IS SHE SOOOO MOTHERRR

username her fit is so aesthetic i want it

yncloset slayed the fit as always

⤷ yourusername you got it 😉

username i mean lando's not wrong🤷🏻‍♀️ i'mma be him too if i were having a gf like her

carlossainz55 not enough. more for midnight

⤷ yourusername not so depressed rn but i'll it try next time my manager yelled at me😄

alexandrasaintmleux you are very pretty

yourusername so do you my sweetest<33 ilyyy

charles_leclerc when i'm literally RIGHT HERE

yourusername

liked by daniel3.jpg, lilymhe, alex_albon, and 729,851 more

yourusername eyes to eyes.

view all 59,126 comments...

username he knows how to make me go feral

maxfewtrell okay now where's my photo credit?

yourusername ...i should put it on early

landonorris we'll (she'll) always remember you our hero🥺🥹

maxfewtrell you better be or if you two don't, i'll delete it all even before you guys even know what kind of photo am i capturing

maxfewtrell oh yeah i can spot his mistype in talking to taking because he's quite dizzy

username i love him, but i love them both more

username got that frat boy aura oh myyyyy

username her hand placement, and their eyes are looking so focused to each other's

username “when you're talking it's like i'm so in love with you all over again” I'M BAWLING ADOPT ME PLS

username she has no right to making me crying sobbing like thissss

username AHSBSBSBHSBSJSUSNWK

username OH GOOD LORD PLS I JUST WANNA BE SINGLE IN PEACE PLEEEASEE

charles_leclerc i don't know is it her or him who is lovesick🤔😬

⤷ landonorris both

⤷ charles_leclerc no, pick one

⤷ username THE “PICK ONE” THING ASKAJSSKK

⤷ danielricciardo do it to him next time if he posted about alex

⤷ charles_leclerc no fair

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, pierregasly, yourusername, and 459,101 more

landonorris love you forever more 💕

👤: maxfewtrell, yourusername

view all 9,588 comments...

username they finally tagged max‼️‼️

username frat boy looking lando: 🫨🥴😩💀

username maxfewtrell is the pic an act of revenge bcs the second one's blurry?

⤷ maxfewtrell nah, i dropped the camera earlier

username guys i think he's the one who is lovesick

⤷ charles_leclerc I KNEW IT!!!

⤷ username bro how long have you been here

username the dim light pose is too good

username i know he see it coming

⤷ maxfewtrell quick reflex is my forte

⤷ landonorris one of the reason why it's shaky and blurry

username is it confirmed that lando is actually has two wag?

⤷ yourusername we get along well, right, maxfewtrell?

⤷ maxfewtrell we fight occasionally, but overall, we're good.

donatellaversace donatella VERSACE 💜

⤷ username idk how but why is donatella is on lando's page

⤷ gigihadid probably because of y/n tag🤷🏼‍♀️

⤷ username why is her comment is just like that?

⤷ gigihadid that's normal

landonorris

liked by yourusername, mclaren, racerbia and 546,101 more

landonorris before/after

view all 7,460 comments...

landonorris no comment about the hat okay

⤷ pierregasly i just want to do it

⤷ danielricciardo that fucking funky looking hat

⤷ landonorris what about no

yourusername he found it

⤷ pierregasly good info

username is the hat says sex?

⤷ username no it's sexy

⤷ username oh...

username i understand the exhaustion dw

username no bc clubbing all night is exhausting as fu you don't understand

⤷ username especially when the liquor is out

username her favorite is whiskey, apparently...

⤷ username no way bcs me too... does this means 😏

⤷ username no fran she's not

username is the book says i love dick?

⤷ yourusername dick in mean is dickinson

⤷ landonorris lie

⤷ landonorris it's dick in mean you know what

yourusername added to their story!

caption: 🧡🧡🧡

carlossainz55 replied to your story!

: since when did he dressed up like that

yourusername

: since he decided it's too hot to leave his trousers at home

carlossainz55

: 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

lando.jpg

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 299,740 others

lando.jpg night's out

view all 1,680 comments...

username THE HAND PLACEMENT??????🥴😵‍💫🫨

username night's out under the guise of jeans label

⤷ username i know it's a trap

username the way i spit my morning tea as soon as i swiped right

username damn his hands are big enough to fit the both of her arse cheeks

username alternative caption: lando in the urge to make out but realized max is already captured the whole thing

⤷ maxfewtrell imagine of how i feel during that time😔😔

username DARK SHIRT LANDO?????

username oh that hand could choke me and i'll thank him

username love me some black shirt lando

yourusername

liked by maxfewtrell, landonorris, and 281,776 others

yourusername i do rubber ring here

view all 7,193 comments...

taylorswift that is so cute 😍🥹

username even taylor said it's cute

⤷ username taylor approved👍

username GIRL SHE PROPOSED TO YOU PLS SAY YES

⤷ yourusername i'd say a thousand yesses

⤷ landonorris really?

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username can't wait for baby norris

⤷ username girl that's gonna be sooo long

⤷ username dw i'm patient

lando.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, estebanocon, and 322,809 others

lando.jpg weekend

👤: charles_leclerc, yourusername

view all 12,721 comments...

charles_leclerc real glad i'm tagged

⤷ yourusername imagine if i don't remind him to tag you

⤷ lando.jpg imagine

⤷ daniel3.jpg imagine

yourusername i know what's gonna happen next believe me

⤷ username i believe you

maxfewtrell lan don't do that to her if you don't want her to have a back pain afterwards

⤷ yourusername i'm okay

⤷ maxfewtrell yeah now, but wait until he lost control and drop you

username 💀💀💀 you see max's comments?

username damn max with his imagines

username let's not jump into the worst

username but what if, right?

yourusername added to their story!

landonorris added to their story!

[skyview-temple-spring]

skyward sword dash board simulator! only like three months late to this trend

🌅skychild

hey guys can someone remind me the wing ceremony is in like two hours. im just gonna take a quick nap

🟦bigbluebird Follow

link the wing ceremony is happening

🟦 bigbluebird

LINK THE WING CEREMONY

🗡️why-fi Follow

skyloft heritage post

🌅skychild

I made this two hours ago???

🌅skychild

SHIT THE WING CEREMONY

1,506 notes

🌅skychild

I'm trying to prove a point

🏋️fledglingwarrior

I think you're the only person having this problem

50 notes

🏋️fledglingwarrior

does anyone know if you can get addicted to stamina potions?

2 notes

🌃knight-shift

what happened to normal, good natured usernames. now it seems like everyone is named something like pumpkinplower or remlitgirldick

🎃pumpkinplower Follow

I'm just trying to find someone to help me out on the farm :(

🌃knight-shift

KINA IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN YOU

800 notes

thegroosinator reblogged bugenthusiast

🌅skychild

she skyward on my sword till I strike

✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011

blocked.

30k notes

🌅skychild

Hey guys I didn't want to do this but this is a call out post for @/sword-of-a-big-deal. It started like two weeks ago when that weird tornado happened. @/knittinggoddess can back me up she has screenshots (she didn't deactivate she's just been gone for a while)

~keep reading~

0 notes

🌅skychild

IMPORTANT impr1s0n3d changed its username to bringer-of-demise!! plz block it don't engage

✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011

umm his pronouns are he/him now please stop using it/its :/ and the rumors he was the one that got the Sealed Temple site shut down are literally false???

15 notes

🌅skychild reblogged

✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011

how about you suck my DICK

🌅skychild

dude she didn't block you for your weird ass parasocial relationship she blocked you because you killed people

6 notes

💌 night-in-armor

she liked my post about how the wing ceremony was rigged this year... should I message her...

#personal post #vent #vent post #vagueblogging #don't reblog

0 notes

🧵knittinggoddess reblogged skychild

🏋️fledglingwarrior

til that remlits attack you at night because of their proximity to demonic energy. Which means there must be a demon on Skyloft. Sleep well!

🙀bats-and-cats Follow

This is false. Remlits are hostile at night because they're predators and do the majority of their hunting then. There are no demons on skyloft

🌅skychild

net zero information. love this site

🐈is-the-remlit-cute Follow

Idk what @/bats-and-cats is talking about. Remlits have been proven to be more hostile when exposed to demonic energy, ESPECIALLY at night. normally they're very docile and only attack if provoked, which prolonged exposure to demonic energy can cause

🌃knight-shift

So there's a demon on Skyloft?

🌅skychild

yeah at ur mom's house lol

#prev you're one to talk #or was that bruise on your neck from 'falling down the stairs' again?

716,021 notes

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader.

{{-Story Description: You're a youtuber with a fairly decent following deciding to help your good friend Tanner with a minor film project, with you set as the leading lady. When the actor for the male lead is a no show, Ted takes up the role himself. One problem: This short film's a Rom Com, and you just met the guy.-}}

//18+, Def gonna be some smut. Reader is implied to be afab, under 5'5 and has specifically named friends, all who have no real connection to Ted.

This story will be in multiple chapters. Also gonna post this on Wattpad and Ao3 (when I figure them out LMAO) under the same username: ObsessiveStarla. Hope you enjoy :^)

Also idk how to do all the fancy Tumblr border stuff so sorry if it's all messy :^(((//

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter 1: No Show, No Movie.

I'm keeping my eye on the road, occasionally glancing at the GPS to make sure I can guide my buddy Tanner as he drives. We had quite an early morning to get to L.A., having been on the road for the last 2 hours to get to this airbnb we'll be staying at. Tanner's nearing the end of film school, so he's getting all his classmates and anyone else that's available and interested to help him with his big final project: A legit short film, filmed, written and directed by him. Having some experience with being on camera myself, he elected to make me part of the main cast. I don't mind at all, if it'll help him out. Even if it's a romantic comedy. I'll kiss some dude, get him that 100%. I'm excited for this.

"Has Conner messaged me at all?" Tanner asks, breaking the last 20 minutes of silence. I quit out of my daydream to check Tanner's messages. Other members of the crew have updated them on their location, including a name I don't recognize, but Conner hasn't responded at all.

"Nope. Mostly everyone else is nearly there though." I responded, lightly shrugging my shoulders. A humorous but knowing smirk creeps along the edges of my lips. "Think he slept in?" "I fucking hope not." Tanner huffs, his tone suggesting he's half-joking. "He is literally /the/ male lead. He's like one of the people I need there the most today."

I put the GPS back up on the screen and lay back against the passenger seat, slightly raising a brow to myself. What would happen if he's late, or doesn't show up at all? Could we even get a replacement in time? We only booked this place for the next couple weeks.

As we get off the highway and get even closer to our destination, I see a notification pop up on Tanner's phone, it's the name I don't recognize. Ted. He's not in our friend group and I don't recall Tanner mentioning him from class.

"Is Ted a new guy?" I ask, turning my head to Tanner. "Oh, no, he's like...a friend of a friend." Tanner pauses before reiterating "He's going to be the editor. He's a youtuber, like you; he went to film school as well."

"Oh. He's like the only name I didn't recognize."

"Yeah, he's a cool guy, no worries, he'll probably be there with me to help with the, yknow, directing too."

There's room for a response, but I don't continue the conversation. We don't have a lot of money to put into this, so that airBnb is also where we'll be filming everything. Most of the film crew and extra actors got their own accommodations elsewhere, but some of us will be staying /at that/ location itself. Wonder if that includes the editor? It'd be weird to share a house with a dude I didn't know, but if Tanner trusts him, I will as well. "I know where to go from here, let everyone know we'll be there soon."

I take Tanner's phone and let everyone know we're close by, including Ted, before setting the phone aside. Tanner pulls into what I thought was a street at first, only to notice its the driveway of the airbnb. Wild how we can't afford multiple sets and hotels, but can afford this villa-like estate for nearly a month. Hey, whatever works, right?

Tanner parks by the many other vehicles and grabs his phone before we both hop out. I can't help but look up at how tall the building is. It looks like one of those frat houses an influencer would own, like if you told me this was owned by fuckin' 'disney channel flow' Team 10, I would 100% believe you.

Tanner and I are greeted by most of the cast and crew as we approach the front door of the house, giving the appropriate hugs and handshakes as we head inside. That's when I spotted a tall man in a dark green sweater fixing up some professional looking cameras, dark hair slicked up to add to his already impressive height, with circular glasses to match the relaxed vibe I'm getting from him. To be fair, he only stands out so much to me because I don't recognize him. This must be Ted.

He looks up from his camera when he spots Tanner and I greeting the other crew members. I casually glance away to one of the pictures on the wall to avoid giving the impression I was staring. I have a habit of fixing my eyes onto people without realizing it.

"Traffic?" Is the first word I hear out of Ted's mouth, directed at Tanner. I don't really know what I was expecting to hear come out of this man, but it certainly wasn't a voice like that. It's strong, deep, almost fake sounding, like he's already playing a character, but no, that's just him.

"Dude, we passed by, like, 3 accidents" Tanner shakes his head slightly, putting his hands on his hips. "And Conner hasn't even gotten back to me, It's been an interesting morning."

As they have their conversation, my thoughts turn to a more curious nature as I contemplate what this guy actually does as a youtuber. If he went to film school as well, does he make long video essays? Commentary, like me?

"This is (Y/N), mine and Joe's friend." My thoughts are cut by the sound of my name, realizing Tanner was introducing me to Ted. Makes sense. We don't know each other. "She's gonna be the female lead."

"Ahhh okay, nice to finally meet you. I'm Ted." Ted personally greets me with a gentle handshake and a winning complexion. I return the handshake with a shy smile. "'Finally'?" I repeat to him, raising a slight brow.

"Yeah! Joe's told me about you, 'said you'd be shorter"

A sudden chuckle escapes me. Joe's my best friend and is part of the wardrobe team, of course he'd say something like that. "He's a dick.." I kid, shaking my head to myself. "You, on the other hand, are a fuckin' giant."

"Oh I know. I have to fuckin' duck down to get into any room upstairs. Tallhood ain't what its cut out to be" We both get a laugh out before Ted returns to setting up the cameras. I notice Tanner checking his phone again, visibly both anxious and frustrated.

"Man." Tanner speaks, seemingly thinking aloud. "Still nothing." "Isn't he the other lead?" Ted speaks as he moves to adjust the stand of one of the lights, glancing up through his round glasses. "I figured he'd be here first."

"He should've been here first." Tanner huffs, masking his clear frustration with a chuckle. "I-I don't know what I'm gonna do if he just doesn't show." "What would we have to do?" I tilt my head at Tanner, feeling a little anxious myself.

"I have no idea, honestly" Tanner responds, shaking his head. "At best, we'd have to find someone to take his place within the next, like, couple days. At worst, I'd have to cancel this whole thing."

I frown, trying to think of some helpful alternative in my head, but nothing comes up. I'd hate for everyone to have to go home, and getting the money back for the airbnb would be a hassle. We all pitched in for this place. As much as I've joked about it, it's pretty nice. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, half the place is a giant living room and there's even more outside. I'd hate to leave without getting to sleep in one of those giant beds. All I can do is hope for the best, I guess.

About an hour passes. At this point, everyone except Conner has shown up on set and most of us that will be on camera are fitted and ready. We had already read through the entire script together over Discord prior to getting here, so all we need to do is just start filming.

I'm refreshing my memory with the script when I hear a notification ping from Tanner's phone. It takes him less than a second to pick it up and look at the message, pausing to read it. I see his expression go from relief to uneasy, his thumbs tapping on his phone's keyboard louder than usual as he responds before setting his phone down and taking a deep breath.

"Conner can't make it."

Silence fills the room for a moment as everyone looks up from their tasks. I approach Tanner, script still on hand.

"What? What does he mean he can't make it?" I asked, honestly shocked with what I was hearing. "So, yknow how he's just...not been responding since we left?" Tanner asks, looking understandably annoyed.

"Yeah?"

"Apparently he ate some bad food last night and has been throwing up since 4am. We left at 5."

The only thing I can do is run my fingers through my hair in frustration. Dude probably ordered bad chicken or something. Of course. "So our main dude, THE male leading role or whatever, has food poisoning." I say that as a statement, but I'm honestly just so confused, I don't want to believe it. "What do we do now? Could we hire someone else in time?" "Even if we could, we wouldn't have time to get the chemistry built up between you two." Tanner shrugs. "There'd be no way of knowing if it'll work out."

"I'll do it."

Tanner and I turn our heads to Ted, who's joined in on the conversation shortly after assembling the last light. My first instinct is to let out a sigh of relief, but I steel myself, trying to really process what he's offering.

"You? You wanna be the male lead?" Tanner points at Ted, rather surprised he'd offer. Ted seemed to laugh at the expression on Tanner's face "What's that fuckin' look for? You think I can't be romantic, Tanner?" "No--" Tanner cackles, putting his palms up defensively as he laughed. "That's not it! I just-- you haven't read the script, and, yknow..." Tanner pauses, shrugging his shoulders and tilting his head in my direction. "You two just met, you'll have to, yknow--"

"'Yknow? Yknow?' I KNOW, Tanner. I. know." Ted begins to mock Tanner in a friendly manner while pointing at himself, his strong voice easily overpowering Tanner's timid tone. "I've been doin' this since you were in little baby diapers, alright? I can read the script, I can kiss the pretty lady, I got this!"

I suddenly feel a whole lot warmer, resisting the urge to put a hand to my cheek. I mean, I have blush on already, but now I'm definitely blushing. I'll have to kiss this guy?

I mean.

That ain't a bad thing.

That's a nice lookin' dude. I'd be blind not to see it.

But I did just meet him.

"I mean...." Tanner seems to be at a loss for words, glancing in my direction once more. I realize I've been one of the main talking pieces of this conversation, yet I haven't spoken a word. "Ah--I.." I stammer out what was meant to be a coherent response, realizing I'm a bit more sheepish about this than I thought I'd be. He called me pretty. I...don't know what to do with that. I can handle a compliment, sure, but this was...

"Hey, sorry, I don't wanna step over any lines..." Ted's smile faded after my lack of a response, resting his hands behind his back. "Oh no! I-I wouldn't mind it at all." I finally managed to speak up. I swear, I felt like a bashful damsel in those old transatlantic-accent films. "I mean, like, better this than sending everyone packing early, right?"

"Real flattering." Ted responded with a renewed smile and a chuckle, getting another sheepish blush from me. "Whatever works for everyone, I'm down for it."

Based on Tanner's knowing expression, I can tell he gathered something of use from whatever that exchange was. "I mean..." Tanner repeats again, as if to remind us he's also there with filler words before taking in a sharp breath of realization, or maybe it was one of acceptance, I couldn't tell. Either way, he had an idea. "OK, how about this: most of the crew didn't get breakfast on the way up here and we're all gettin' pretty hungry, we could use some caffeine. How about you two head back out and get everyone something from Dunkin' or wherever? Get talkin', see if it works."

"You setting us up on a breakfast run, or a date?" I collect myself fast enough to make a joke, actually getting a decent chuckle out of Ted. Part of me couldn't believe I had even made that joke aloud, I was also kind of genuinely asking. "I am testing the chemistry." Tanner clarified slowly with a half smile. "And I...don't want to do it myself."

Ted and I look at each other, giving me a brief moment to realize Ted's eyes are brown. Don't know why I've chosen to collect that information now. Just another observation I've made for the day.

...Man, I'm hungry.

"Alright, but I'm not driving your car." I agree with a shrug. "No need, I got my Tacoma." Ted responds, making a clicking noise with his mouth and gesturing me to follow him outside.

"You...have your city in Washington?" I ask genuinely, getting another laugh out of him, not intentionally this time. "Toyota Tacoma. My truck." He corrects me, guiding me to an old dark green pick-up truck. "I've had this baby since high school. Graduated with it."

"Ahh, your high school sweetheart. Lovely. Happy to meet her."

"Fuck off" Ted jokingly scoffs, hopping into the drivers seat. I have this big grin on my face as I get into the passenger side. He's giving me this...oddly comforting vibe. I can talk and joke with this guy so naturally, like I've known him for longer than an hour.

Somehow, I get the feeling we'll get along just fine, even if I'll end up having to kiss him once or twice this month....

....That's got me thinking, how many times am I kissing this guy again?

__________________________________

|| Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 || Chapter 16 || Chapter 17 ||

[ellstronaut]

[ ◉¯] tlougram [ ◉¯]

#just a silly AU

ellie is typing. . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] ellie’s account reads like a tech-illiterate-social-degenerate

[ ◉¯] girl literally has 3k followers (boggles her mind how it’s even possible) all of varying degrees of sketchiness

[ ◉¯] her bio’s literally just her initials—ew (yep thinks she’s hilarious ) paired with “space is cool ig” [insert shitty space emoji]

[ ◉¯] tbh—she doesn’t really get the whole “influencer” thing (like what is she influencing???)

[ ◉¯] like the only reason she finally caved and made an account to begin with is because dina and jesse practically bullied her into it

[ ◉¯] which shows—her feed is a hot mess of random pics; memes, a random cat video she saved on her gallery

[ ◉¯] and don’t expect to be fed either—her account is D.E.A.D (you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment)

[ ◉¯] definitely the type to forget she even has an account

[ ◉¯] but best believe—when she does post, its spaced out between 2-3 months

[ ◉¯] maybe a handful of artsy-fartsy pics somewhere in between

[ ◉¯] but most of her pics are literally just sketches (she drew at the back of her physics book) random crap she thinks is funny, memes that only make sense to her, n the occasional trip to the museum/nature pics

[ ◉¯] and like a grand total of one—just one selfie (and yes she did delete the rest)

[ ◉¯] fun fact: she may or may not have accidentally liked one of Dina’s/Cat’s old selfies on a burner account

[ ◉¯] tried to do damage control by unliking almost immediately

[ ◉¯] since we’re being messy—(swears she’d kill anyone on site who dares bring that up but whatever) she once got a chat request from a bot thinking it was a real person 💀

[ ◉¯] spent weeks on end flirting and ofc had to gush about it (like the true degenerate she is)

ೃ༄

spacenerd: dude shes hot

제시: whos hot

[spacenerd has sent an attachment]

dinasure: uh ellie

spacenerd: ??

dinasure: gonna hold ur hand when I say this 😃

spacenerd: she replies quick tho plus shes really nice ;)

제시: bet

spacenerd: huh

제시: bro so is siri

spacenerd: siri cant say stuff like rate my tits??

dinasure: issa bot u moron 💀

[spacenerd has sent a voicenote]

▷ 0:00 ───|────── 0:30

dinasure: fuck no

dinasure: bro just block

제시: ^yea pretty sure @bot_bae ain’t real 😭

spacenerd: SHE SO IS

dinasure: chile…anyways so

spacenerd: u know wat

[spacenerd has left the chat]

dinasure: LMAOO cryingsh

dinasure: think u hurt her feelings

제시:no cap that is sad

dinasure: real like how tf u gonna get catfished by a bot and fall in LOVE 🙃

제시: YEAH bro really down bad for ( . )( . )

dinasure: PLSSSJH

[spacenerd has joined the chat]

spacenerd: IT WAS A GOOD BOT OK

dinasure: i have more chemistry with chatgpt

spacenerd: stfu

spacenerd: n D u dont get to come for me when u deadass fucked a twilight bot

dinasure: bitch its called rp

dinasure: n that was like ONE time

spacenerd: me when i lie

dinasure: i like my men less sparkly now!!!

jesse is typing . . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] unlike ellie—jesse takes his social media presence very seriously

[ ◉¯] got like +8k followers (most of which are girls) cause that man is a snack (duh)

[ ◉¯] his whole vibe is mellow but cool

[ ◉¯] like his IG feed reads like an episode of Crazy Rich Asians (with the extra added thirst traps of course)

[ ◉¯] aka a perfectly curated mix of aesthetic photos, artsy shots, friends/family and ofc his dog Yeontan

[ ◉¯] definitely the type of boyfriend to post unflattering pics of his gf but not out of malice

[ ◉¯] but you know in a—i’m obnoxiously in love sorta way

[ ◉¯] he may be bilingual but he’s very much in touch with his culture—like dude got a bunch of pics of him back in the Motherland

[ ◉¯] ellie low-key tries to get him to teach her a few curse words in Korean but like 99% of the time ends up teaching her the wrong words instead

[ ◉¯] ofc his username is in hangul— (if anything it’s to make his mom happy—because yes he follows her back on Insta)

[ ◉¯ ] and yes he’s such a boy mom—dina and ellie give him a ton of shit for it

ೃ༄

spacenerd: totally know what that means frfr

dinasure: oppa?

제시: 죽을래?

google translation: you want to die?

[ ◉¯] it’s an inside joke, lord knows how many kpop stans flood his dms—in which he makes the point to block them on site (as he should lol) because korean he may BE—your oppa he is NOT

[ ◉¯] yeah—he makes it pretty damn clear in his bio “yall gotta stop with the BTS shit”

dina is typing . . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] Dina’s THAT bitch

[ ◉¯] got like +30k followers—is the whole package; hot—effortlessly cool, funny, charismatic (it’s literally unfair)

[ ◉¯] ofc she’s been scouted by at least three modelling agencies

[ ◉¯] and her pictures? flawless—we’re talking gorgeous—goddess-esque—baddie

[ ◉¯] literally the worst part about being friends with Dina: is how ridiculously photogenic she is

[ ◉¯] can roll up out of bed, unshowered, bare-faced and still look hot af (god has favourites I suppose)

[ ◉¯] definitely the type to have the most engagement (via replies, comments, shares, tagged—you name it)

[ ◉¯] absolutely loves sharing her hot girl adventures/outings—fr the embodiment of hot girl summer

[ ◉¯] expect an assortment of her hiking, visiting galleries, cafés, festivals + parties, and of course her many different fits (not that anyone’s complaining)

[ ◉¯] bio reads: my mom thinks I’m cool

[ ◉¯] don’t get me started on her simps—if delulu were a person, it would be Dina’s cult of fanboys

[ ◉¯] one time a dude wrote her poetry—straight up typed a whole ass sonnet ( Shakespeare reincarnate but in simptongue)

[ ◉¯] in which of course her friends had to add their two cents

ೃ༄

spacenerd: its always ily but never

spacenerd: my queen i kneel, my heart it weeps 😞

제시: lmaooooo 💀

[ ◉¯]not just down bad— we’re talking the most absurd, thirsty/depraved comments—

whitedevil commented: Id let you ruin my life

christian.not.jay commented: feet? 🤤

chrislovesyou commented: looked at my girl and sighed

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] imagine the heartbreak if they ever found out she has a whole ass man (cue what does she SEE in him)

[ ◉¯] so much salt it could fill a whole an entire ocean

cat is typing . . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] Cat’s account oozes creativity—doodles, sketches, watercolour—digital art the whole nine yards

[ ◉¯] her feed is basically one giant art gallery—like an extension of her art portfolio

[ ◉¯] so if you’re looking for an artsy feed, look no further

[ ◉¯] def an alt girlie (lowkey goth/punk lite) aka dark and edgy but with a soft side to her

[ ◉¯] and by lowkey I mean a beautiful—soft, kind of morbid artistry

[ ◉¯] the vibes she exudes with the outfits, piercings, the makeup and tattoos? (Chefs kiss) high key hot but intimidating

[ ◉¯] not too keen with the whole parasocial thing— “eh it’s nice having people look at my work, but not for me” kinda vibe

[ ◉¯] the type to solely use it for promotional purposes that and activism (btw NOT just for the brownie points like would deadass go outside, touch grass and do something about it)

[ ◉¯] definitely advocates for the environment—supports charities and organizations who fight against systematic oppression (racism, misogyny, etc.)

[ ◉¯] which is one of many reasons why Ellie’s got a huge fat ass crush on her (if it wasn’t already so obvious)

[ ◉¯] proudly Asian—wears it like a badge of honour and is the first to call out racists (and homophobes) any KIND of bigotry tbh

[ ◉¯] her bio reads—“life’s too short for shitty music” and “gay btw” :)” y’know for the losers that might need a little disclaimer

[ ◉¯] not a fan of stupid Asian stereotypes

[ ◉¯] you just know she gets a ton of gross fetishizing DMs (like why do they ALWAYS have an anime pfp)

[ ◉¯] because ruthless she can be with her clap backs

ೃ༄

tagging my besties @bonnibelblanca @adhdprincess ily

[cieloclercs]

Eternal life

Oscar piastri x russian figure skater

the ice queen — oscar piastri

pairing. oscar piastri x russian figure skater!reader

face claim. alina zagitova

warnings. swearing, google translate russian (im sorry), look guys i know the winter olympics were last year but for the sake of this they’re this year ok ?? 🙏 i used pictures from oscar’s sprint podium in spa for singaore (which obviously isn’t accurate plz overlook it hehe)

author’s note. hello anon! i hope you enjoy this, sorry it took so long ❤️

requests are still open for my 1k event! send something in if you’d like <3

liked by oscarpiastri and 76,264 others

yourusername swipe for a fail 🥴

view all comments…

yourfriend1 pleased to announce i got said fail on video ☺️

yourusername if you ever show that to anyone i’ll smother you in your sleep.

yourfriend1 wow 😃

yourfriend2 i feel like one of those aesthetic skater pinterest girls in the second picture

yourusername we definitely pulled off the pinterest girlie vibes 👍👍

yourcoach очень продуктивная сессия! 👍 / very productive session !

yourusername я знаю точно 😃 / i know right

username yourcoach i’m sensing some sarcasm 🤔

username no shit sherlock 🙄

username MY FAV TRIO IS BACKKKK

username girllll are you competing at the winter olympics ?? i won’t take no for an answer btw you better be there. 🔪

yourusername in that case yes !!! 😀

username olympic champion 🔜

yourusername 😉

username hold up what’s oscar doing here? 🤨

username who tf is oscar

username oscar piastri, he’s a formula 1 driver for mclaren

username and he’s lurking in MY WIFE’S likes?? get tf out of here he drives cars in circles for a living 😭😭

username can you blame him tho y/n’s this total badass skating GODDESS and he’s just a silly little aussie like ofc he’s infatuated with her 😒😒😒

username guys all he did was like her post no need to create an entire backstory out of it 😭 they’re both highly successful sportspeople so they probably just mix in the same circles from time to time 🤷‍♀️

username boo you’re ruining my fun 🙄

username МОЯ ЛЕДЯНАЯ КОРОЛЕВА 🩵 / MY ICE QUEEN

username word on the street is oscar’s liking this girlie’s post 🤔🤔 now i just have to figure out who she is 😃

username girl u can’t be serious 😭

username how do u not know who y/n is are you living under a rock

username no?? should i know who she is?? 😭

username erm YES

username i simultaneously love and hate how this oscar dude has liked ONE y/n post and suddenly all the f1 fangirls have appeared 😭 go find a hobby plz i beg you x

username jokes on you, stalking potentially new f1 wags IS our hobby

username that’s quite possibly the saddest thing i’ve ever read

username as both an f1 and a skating fan, OSCAR GIRLIES I BEG YOU PLEASE DONT DRAG Y/N INTO THIS IK HOW CRAZY Y’ALL CAN GET

username babe what are they gonna do 😭 she’s y/n y/l/n she has like universal immunity from haters lol

username you’re clearly not an f1 fan and it SHOWS 😭😭

username sweetie i’ve watched the f1 girlies single handedly DESTROY relationships do not underestimate them

username ^^ does anyone know if they’re being dramatic or not??

username long-time f1 fan here !! trust me, they’re not.

liked by yourusername and 23,815 others

oscarpiastri Ready to shine in Singapore 🇸🇬🤩

view all comments…

username LET’S GOOO OSCAR

username podium loading…

username i’ve got £50 riding on you getting a podium don’t let me down 💪💪

username so this is oscar piastri… 🤨

username uh oh the skater girls have arrived 😨

username *y/n girls

username no one gets into y/n’s inner circle without our approval first 🤭

username and you called US sad 😭

username how the fuck is this guy expecting to be able to pull a queen like y/n 😭😭

username seriously he looks so silly 🥴

username guys he only liked her post they probably don’t even know each other 🙄 stop making drama out of nothing jeez

username yikes someone sounds jealous…

username he looks goofy, next please 😒

yourfriend1 literally what i said smh

username PHAHAHA WHAT

username girl 😭

username i hate to break it to you oscar, the y/n girls are never going to accept you x

username yeah sorry babe, you’re just not worthy of our ice queen 😘

username the way y/n’s literally a thousand leagues above him 😔😔 the pain of being a badass bitch 🥲

username BACK OFF FROM MY WIFE Y/N YOU DONT DESERVE HER

username y’all are crazy what 😭

username imagine thinking THIS GUY stands a chance with the hottest woman alive and future olympic champion 😭😭 i’d be so embarrassed 😭

username he looks like a capybara tf

username STOP PHAHAHHA WHY DO I SEE IT

username lmao if y/n and oscar ever do end up dating he’s not going to live this down 😭

landonorris oscarpiastri since when did you become enemy number 1 to the ice skating community

oscarpiastri 🤷‍♀️

username LANDO OH MY GOD 😭

username PHAHAHHAA HE KNOWS THEY BOTH KNOW

username poor oscar getting dragged by the most intense fandom on earth 😭

yourusername 🧡

oscarpiastri 😊👑

username WOAH WOAH WOAH

username THEYRE INTERACTING OMG EVERYONE STAY CALM

username EXCUSE ME THE CROWN EMOJI?? HES ACKNOWLEDGING THE QUEEN AS HE SHOULD

username no.

username this can’t be happening

username oscarpiastri LEAVE MY WIFE ALONE BITCH 🤺🤺

username y/n you’ve just made everything so much worse 😭

yourusername

replies:

oscarpiastri cute cap, where’d you get it?

↳ yourusername this weird australian guy gave it to me. idk i would have preferred a number 4 🤷‍♀️

↳ oscarpiastri you sure? i heard number 81’s the favourite for a podium this week 😏

↳ yourusername we’ll see 🙃

liked by yourusername and 50,367 others

oscarpiastri First ever F1 podium 🧡 Let’s keep them coming 😉

view all comments…

username YES OSCARRRRR

username my driver 🧡🫶

username LEGEND 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

landonorris congrats mate! the extra motivation did you some good 😉

oscarpiastri it sure did :)

username excuse me? 🤨

username lando. what do u know.

username i bet this has something to do with y/n

username girl bffr 🙄

username LANDO I JUST WANNA TALK (tell me what u know rn.) 🔫🔫

mclaren Doing us proud 🥹🧡

*oscarpiastri liked this comment

username best rookie since hamilton button >>>

*liked by yourusername and 5,217 others

carlitosalcarazz Congratulations, amigo! 😁

oscarpiastri Thanks mate! 😊😊

username AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE

username the y/n girlies have been real quiet so far 🤨

username they’re finally realising oscar isn’t just some nobody 😭

username he might not be a nobody but one podium still doesn’t make him good enough 🥰

username y’all are psycho i swear 😭

yourfriend1 ok maybeee he’s not that bad 🙄🙄

*yourusername liked this comment

username omg the y/f/n seal of approval ??? ITS HAPPENING

username calm down nothing’s happened yet 😭 as far as we know they’re not even friends lmao let alone dating

username girl did you even see y/n’s story she was literally in the mclaren garage repping oscar’s merch 😭😭

yourusername incredible 🧡

oscarpiastri Thank you for your support today 🧡 Hope you liked the cap 😊

username wait hold on a second OSCAR GAVE HER THAT CAP???

username HES GIVING HER HIS MERCH NOW??

username oh they DEFINITELY into each other 😏

username oscar’s such a simp oh my god she turns up to one race and he’s giving her his merch 😭😭 what a dork

username i mean it’s y/n y/l/n can you blame him 🤷‍♀️

username i fear we’ve lost her y/n nation 😔

username as much as it pains me to say it i think you might be right 🥲

username i just can’t believe we’ve lost her to a guy who drives in circles for a living 🙄

username doesn’t y/n skate in circles? the shade works both ways honey 😚

liked by oscarpiastri and 90,712 others

yourusername thank you for having me mclaren 🥰 and congratulations to oscarpiastri on your first f1 podium !! i had a blast 🧡🧡

view all comments…

mclaren Glad to have you on board, champ 🧡 See you again soon 😉

*yourusername liked this comment

landonorris you do know oscar’s not the only mclaren driver right 😃

yourusername the only mclaren driver with a podium this week though 🙃

oscarpiastri Thank you Y/N 😊🧡

yourusername 🫶

comments on this post have been limited.

months later…

oscarpiastri

replies:

landonorris ice queen? 🤨

↳ oscarpiastri of course

↳ landonorris simp.

yourusername

replies:

oscarpiastri ouch ☹️

↳ yourusername just telling you what you need to hear, babe ☺️

liked by oscarpiastri and 112,678 others

yourusername олимпийский чемпион! после стольких лет упорной работы я не могу поверить, что эта мечта наконец-то осуществилась 🥹 я хочу поблагодарить многих людей, которые помогли мне достичь этого: моего тренера, моих товарищей по команде, мою семью. я бы не справилась без каждого из вас! 🤍

olympic champion! after all the years of hard work, i can’t believe this dream has finally come true 🥹 there are so many people i want to thank for helping me get to this point: my coach, my teammates, my family. i couldn’t have done this without any of you! 🤍

i also want to thank my boyfriend and number one supporter oscarpiastri for putting up with me these last few months of prep 😭 i don’t know what i would have done without you 🥹 love you baby ❤️

…

oscarpiastri congratulations, my love 🩷 i’m so proud of you 😘

yourusername 💗💗

comments on this post have been limited.

[hatchetmanofficial]

Why does Alan seem less supernatural than his coworkers?

Of course he’s just as dangerous but a lot of his unhinged behaviour and readiness to break the rules can be explained by the way he grew up abused, was being forced to be aggressive to defend himself, his lack of socialisation, being rebellious against a society that didn’t help him, and even an underlying mental condition (maybe inherited from his dad). With the trauma, isolation and demands of his job then turning it all up to 11. I mean, despite being axe crazy and a bit sociopathic Alan still seems mostly human. If a little animalistic. He’s very strong and fast and completely ignores the norms of society but still looks and acts basically human.

Whereas you’ve got dudes like Carver whose whole appearance has warped, and Stitches who was literally created a month ago from components and kills in a body horror way. One look and you know something is very wrong.

Alan also seems to be the only one with the wish or ability to defy the boss. Is it because he rejected the work name and mentally kept his own identity? Are names power here? Literally or symbolically.

It feels like the Boss employs vulnerable drifters, the lost souls. Does the Boss find it easier to control you if you want to reject/forget your identity, are running from your past or a bad situation, or (like Stitches) never had one?

Obviously it is a predatory Leonine contract, basically a deal with the devil. Nobody ends up like this coming from a good situation or with any better choices available. And the horrific consequences if you leave or disobey are a huge factor. But I’m covering subtleties and the differences between the coworkers.

Or is it because in spite of how cruel life and people have been to Alan he still has a tiny scrap of humanity left? Before he only had the solace of animals. Doe Eyes has reminded him how starved he is for kindness and love, maybe recalling the time before his mom died when he had a family, and Doe Eyes is human.

It makes it hard to obey the solitary rule. To stay misanthropic and emotionally shut down enough to continue indiscriminately killing people for the Boss.

(I’m the shy anon who suggested the idea of untraumatized Ranger Alan a long while back 👋 Wherever he is, whenever he is, I hope he’s happy and well adjusted.)

(I love this question and I love your username!!!)

I like to think that Alan still has a part of him, that wants to weasel his way back into society, especially after meeting his Doe-eyes. But he can never have it. It's selfish of him to want.

Boss is unpredictable and very much so picks those who believe they are someone without a cause. I'd like to think that The Beast's song "Come Wayward Souls" applies to him. However, he can still influence his employers. If he sees someone get out of line, he would simply have to put them back in place. Alan, however, never gave Boss any hassle, not even when he first found him. You could say he has a clean track record when it comes to his job. Until doe-eyes that is.

When I say that Boss kinda has favorites.

He truly does.

[boiohboii]

2 tropes in 1 story

(Lance Stroll x Mark Lee's sister!reader)

Kpop and formula one, not something many people would guess would be related, but when a girl related to two of the most known names of each brings the world together fans are introduced to 2 troupes of love

or

in which Mark Lee and Lance Stroll are connected to same girl: one is her brother while the other is her boyfriend

N.B: for anyone that doesn't know who mark lee is, he is a kpop idol born in Canada, he is in the group NCT. This is just a small smau for fun as I fell down the Lance rabbit hole lately, hope you like it! WARNINGS: not proof read, a bit of a mess... I think that's it? If I missed anything please let me know!

Faceclaim: Haewon from Nmixx

masterlist

onyourm__ark has added a new story

caption: make way for 18!!💥💥

tagged: @.readysety__n

Liked by doO_nct, realstraykids, lance_stroll and 2,716,523 others

onyourm__ark: such a great weekend with the most amazing people. Thanks man @.lance_stroll

tagged: lance_stroll, mickschumacher, readysety__n

lance_stroll: it had been a while, missed you tons man

username: this is so wild

username: what is going on in the house of commons

mickschumacher: so glad you could make it man! It was great seeing you again, also very happy to have met you @.readysety__n, you're so lovely!!

lance_stroll: 🤺🤺

lance_stroll: no!

readysety_n: it was great meeting you @.mickschumacher, we definitely need to meet up more!

lance_stroll: yn no! You're mine!

username: Ayooo lance!

username: wtf!

username: is that the confirmation?!?!!!

username: Holy shit!!

onyourm__ark: dude!!! @.lance_stroll

Liked by lancefan, ynmyqueen, leesiblings and 45,618 others

YNLEEUPDATES: rumored boyfriend and f1 driver, Lance Stroll, was seen today in a cafe yn was working in in SK (it was for helping NCT Dream shoot something, she often joins her brother and his bandmates in filming vlogs and stuff but her face is mostly blurred out)

Liked by onyourm__ark, lance_stroll, p1baby and 819,072 others

readysety_n: listen, I am all for my boyfriend and my brother being friends, but how do I get to third wheel ON THE BEACH!

onyourm__ark: just say you're jealous of our bond and go 💀

lance_stroll: no baby, you'll always be my number 1

onyourm__ark: dude! I thought we had a deal!

lance_stroll: I take it back

readysety__n: haha!! Eat it markyy!

Liked by F1wags&faves, markleeupdates, ynislanadelraycoded and 51,738 others

LanceStroll_updates: Lance seen this week out and about with yn after finishing this season. Would Lance come in the 2024 season with a girlfriend?

username: yeah, no shit sherlock

username: man literally said you're mine in a public insta post 8 months ago 💀

username: I am speechless, how can someone be so dumb

username: they are obviously dating

[httpscomexe]

Ensnared 5

Summary: Your leg is fucked, but so are you. (This is probably the last chapter, might pick it back up, idk)

(Find What I’m currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Parings: Yandere!Logan Howlett x PlusSize!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of past injury with some description, anxiety and stress, mentions of medicine, aggressive dog, manipulation, some yandere aspects, violence, knives, attempted knife play, blood, pv,  (Individual warnings per chapter) (Logan is an official warning as approved by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) because Logan is a DRUG. PLEASE BE AWARE that this will be a NON-CON fic. Do NOT get attached if you do not like non-consensual fiction. I will not change my fic plans because somebody decided not to read the warnings. Thank you)

Tags: @sammyluvsfics

Word Count: 2838 (Find all chapters here)

P.S. If you’d like to be tagged, ask in the comments, you also have permission to send an ask, but make sure it is NOT anonymous, so I know your username, don’t worry, I’m scared of confrontation too. But this is a SAFE SPACE where I will not judge. Thank you again.

Your leg was healing well, considering the crushed bones, enormous scars, and bloody bandages that had to be replaced at least once a day.

It hurt like fucking shit.

You were constantly stressed. The pain in your leg was unbearable when you weren’t either taking pain medications or in a deep sleep after taking sleeping medicine. Then there was also Logan. He was sweet to you, so you didn’t understand why your body rejected him so much. You suppose it was because you naturally couldn’t be attracted to the man that kidnapped you, murdered someone you knew, and then acted like everything was okay.

The bear trap was your fault, you should’ve stopped when he said it was unsafe.

Spilled hot coffee on yourself? You weren’t paying attention.

It was also your fault that the mailman died. Even though it was his three claws that stabbed into the man's throat. But you shouldn’t have whispered ‘help.’

Everything bad that happened, it all led back to you.

And no, there weren’t any twisted mind tricks, or shit manipulation tricks that were making you believe it was truly your fault. It was just literally your fault.

Everything that happened that was bad could’ve been stopped if you were just more careful, but it was hard to be careful when you were walking on eggshells in front of this man. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you, but even if he did, say… backhand you, it would be your fault for provoking him. And that wasn’t easy.

A bark comes from beside you on the couch. The pitch black german shephard was staring at your sandwich, that was the only time Logan ever defended you, because the dog was trained to watch you, and bite you if you’re being an ass.

“Shut up dog.” He didn’t even bother giving the dog a name. He’s settled for calling him ‘dog.’ But the boy still listens, stepping off the couch and moving to lie down in his dog bed upon hearing Logan's angered voice. “You need to teach that dog to respect you.”

“You’re the one that trained him to kill me.”

“No, I trained him to keep you inside and hurt you only if you managed to get out.” He explained for the 5th time this week, you could tell he was starting to get annoyed.

“Well he bit me the other day…”

“Because you raised your voice at me.”

“You were being mean!” Your voice squeaks, and you turn around to face him in the kitchen. He was wearing his white beater and thick jeans, the teddy bear socks you ordered for him were on his feet, keeping him warm.

Was it wrong to admit you still loved and cared for him?

Probably.

But you did. When you had felt his feet on your thighs a few weeks ago because he was using you as a footrest as you two watched Bambi, his feet were absolutely freezing. “Holy shit dude, did you just come inside after walking in the snow barefoot?” You had pushed his feet off your lap, and he eventually let you search online for some socks. It took some convincing, but he eventually ordered the fluffy teddy bear socks. And now he wouldn’t stop wearing them.

You were just happy he was warm.

“Whatever.” You mumble after he doesn’t answer you, but he walks over to sit next to you on the couch. You still had a pillow placed on your lap which you’ve been cuddling all day and night, the word ‘home’ written on it in bold brown letters, making it pretty homey honestly.

“Whatever?” He groans as he sits down.

“What’re you groaning about old man?” You lean forward slightly, and he chuckles, your powers picking up the vibration in his chest which makes you feel fuzzy.

He was so sweet to you when he was in a good mood.

“Come here puppy.” He pats his lap, and you quickly move forward, tossing your pillow to the side to cuddle into him like an actual dog.

The way he wants you to.

You were the puppy, and he was the owner. He told you, followed by your smart ass biting him at every chance you got. He was honestly lucky you still had enough decency to not shit and piss on the floor out of spite.

But for some reason, you grew on him.

“Good girl…” He whispers, holding you close against his chest, not tight, as he wanted you to be comfortable.

He was always warm, especially his feet. It always brought a sense of happiness and comfort to you, even after you two fought.

You look down at the dog, he’s resting already, snores coming from his nose. But you know he’s still watching your every move somehow.

“Are you okay?” You nod, leaning further against him, seeking the most warmth you could as his hand moves under your shirt to start rubbing circles on your back, something he’s learned that you love, considering it makes your face redden.

“I have a question…” You mumble against his chest, part of you hoping he didn’t hear you.

“What’s the question?” You’re quiet for a moment, debating how to ask it.

“Promise you won’t get mad at me?”

“If you think I’m going to be mad, then I’m probably gonna be mad. Ask it.”

“What do you plan on doing with me…?” Your voice shakes slightly, and you begin to pick at your skin nervously when he doesn’t answer. Gently, he sits you up, making it so you look into his eyes. Your faces are just inches apart.

“Are you scared?” He asks, his voice quiet like he’s speaking to a horrified child.

You nod.

You hated to admit it. But you were scared.

He scoffs, shaking his head slightly at your movement. “Why would you be scared of me?” He grins, his hands cupping your cheeks, making you look even chubbier. “I love you, my angel… I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you…” He finishes his sentence with a kiss. His lips feel like poison against yours. “I love you.” He says again, his forehead pressed against yours. “Say it back. Say you love me.” He demands, grip tightening.

“I love you too… Logan.” You say his name with venom laced around every word like a snake choking their next meal. Then you had an idea. “Can I please get some water?” A smirk grows on your face, and you rock your hips slightly against him, biting your bottom lip. You’ve never been a seductress, but the growing tent in his pants tells you you’re doing good.

“Of course baby, go ahead.” He lets go of you, and you slowly stand, making sure to make nice sways of your hips as you move into the kitchen, reaching up and grabbing a glass, which you fill with water from the sink.

Your plan was simple. Though you weren’t too sure how it would play out.

You hear light feet behind you, the dog was going to sleep for the night. That makes you worry less. Looking in the reflection of the microwave, you could see Logan was looking away, so you quickly reach over, stealing a knife out of the knife block, shoving the blade into the back of your panties, making sure not to cut yourself, leaving the handle sticking out.

You take a deep breath, and begin to walk back over to Logan who was now facing the TV, both of his arms draped over the back of the couch. His eyes find you, smiling above your glass of water as you take a sip, your devilish eyes on him.

“That’s a different look.” He sits up slightly, but you keep him down by straddling his lap. “Am I finally winning-?” Your lips attach to his, the glass still in your right hand while your left hand gently grabs his jaw.

“You want me Logan?” You whisper, the sound making his hips jerk up against you, and his hands move to your hips. You had to move before he found the knife. His lips quirk into a smile, then he suddenly flips you over onto your back, the blade of the knife cutting your skin slightly, causing your hips to jerk upwards against him, a moan coming from his lips as they attach to the skin of your neck, his body still grinding against yours.

You try to reach behind your back, but it’s almost impossible to lift your body with his fucking boulder of a body lying on top of you.

“Are you lying on something?” His fists move to the sides of your head, then he leans on his forearms, giving you enough room to lift your back up, reach behind your back…

“Logan…” You whisper his name, the smile on your lips gone.

“Yes love?” He sounded so innocent.

“I fucking hate you.” You chuckle a little, then in the blink of an eye, the silver of the kitchen knife disappears in the side of his neck, a gurgle coming from his throat as he looks down at you in confusion, his face reddening and his mouth hanging open slightly before he collapses on top of you. SHIT. He was fucking heavy. It was like an elephant decided to take a nap on your chest. “Shit, get off!” You shout, struggling to move him, having to use your entire body as you manage to slip out from under him, making him fall onto the floor with a loud thump, the knife still sticking out of his throat as you quickly run into his room, grabbing a jacket and his truck keys before darting back out.

And your stomach turns.

He’s standing there. Perfectly fine.

He stands in front of your exit, his fingers wrapped around the handle of the knife, and he yanks the blade out, blood only gushing from his neck for a moment before you watch as the wound closes in just a few seconds. It takes a moment to realise he’s looking at you now, his key ring around your pinky finger as you stare at him in fear.

“No… Logan- Just hear me out-” You stutter as he approaches you, picking up the knife he threw to the floor as his walking becomes faster, backing you against a wall.

“What the fuck was-”

“I’m into knife play…” You spit it out as if it was a true confession. No, you weren’t into it. Or at least you’ve never tried it.

“You’re into knife play?” You nod your head. “Yea I knew that wouldn’t kill you.”

He stares at you for a long moment before speaking again.

“Well that’s good to know. Get in the bed.” He demands, taking a step back so you could manoeuvre into the bedroom. “Come on, clothes off.”

“Logan-”

“Clothes. Off.” He repeats, pointing towards the bed with the kitchen knife, and you finally listen. You watch from the bed as he lodges the knife between the crack of the door and the wall, pulling the door slightly to see if it could budge, and it doesn’t. “Knife play, huh?” He checks, moving to the bed and pulling your legs closer until they are hanging over the bed, and he settles himself between them. “Sounds fun.” He tells you, then suddenly reaches into the bedside draw, pulling out a pocket knife, flipping it to reveal a sharp blade. “Let me just make sure it’s sharp enough.” He grunts, lifting your arm, drawing the edge of the blade just barely over your forearm, and it easily leaves a paper like cut, making you wince. “Perfect.” He grabs the back of your thighs, and throws you further onto the bed, quickly crawling between your legs, the knife positioned on your stomach, keeping you still.

“Logan-”

“Shut up you fucking liar.” He growls, pushing his lips onto yours as he uses the knife to pull your panties aside, flipping the tool to rub your clit with the handle.

“Shit-”

“No, I said shut the fuck up.” He stops, and his eyes stare into yours.

Now you have a decision.

Let the asshole hurt you, and possibly walk away without getting fucked.

Or give into your desires.

The option wasn’t hard to decide.

“Sorry… daddy…” You moan, rocking your hips slightly, searching for some friction.

If you were going to be stuck here, you might as well enjoy it. But you weren’t too sure he would ever get over the knife kink after he was done with you.

“Daddy, hm?” He smirks, and you feel his body because less tense, less angry as he lies on top of you. “Stay still angel.” He tells you, putting the knife to the side for a moment as he pulls his shirt over his head, and your eyes stare at his body. It was like looking into a bag of freshly baked Hawaiian rolls. You might’ve made it a joke about wanting to bite him before. Being his ‘puppy,’ but now you really wanted to bite him. To taste him between your teeth.

Savour him.

“Mm… Please Logan…” You moan his name. You weren’t sure what had come over you, but now you wouldn’t be able to resist him. You need him.

“Begging too, I like it…” He reaches down, unbuttoning his jeans and removing his belt, tossing the belt to the side before tugging down his jeans slightly, and pulling out his cock, red and angry, already leaking precum. You wanted to just wrap your lips around him, feel him and taste him in your mouth, take him deep down in your throat. “Should see the ways your eyes are growing… Now you definitely look like a fucking puppy.” His lips attach to your throat, biting the lobe of your ear and tugging slightly as his hand rests on your waist, his other arm on the bed, being careful not to crush you this time.

His hand moves, lifting your waist slightly, and you take the hint. Wrapping your legs around his waist and he hooks his finger in the lace of your panties, pulling and breaking it easily before ripping them off completely and throwing them aside.

He pushes into you without any warning, not wanting to waste another second as his lips never leave your skin. You were slightly jealous, but you couldn’t even voice it, the only sounds that came from your throat were the pleasured moans drawn out by the thrusting of Logan's cock into your cunt, giving you to time to adjust as he ruts into you like a starved dog and you’re in heat. You loved it. It felt amazing. You’ve let plenty of larger men fuck you, but barely even thirty seconds into allowing Logan to fuck you, you already felt brainless. Jumbled words of desire, a few ‘daddy’ies and a couple ‘feels so good,’s all leaving your lips as he slams his hips against yours, his hands eventually gripping your thighs and spreading you further as he moves your legs to rest on his shoulders, you barely even notice the movements. Then he forces himself into you harder, his cock lathering your walls with your juices as he makes you cum, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you let him use you like a doll.

A few minutes pass, and you weren’t sure when, you weren’t sure how, but you at some point move to sit on top of him, riding him like you had the energy of a twelve year old boy seeing the lego store in a mall,bouncing and rocking your hips like your job was just to fuck Logan, and his hips also rock against yours, his entire dick balls deep inside of you as you both lather what most would consider the most disgusting kisses all over eachother lips, spit and some tears from your own eyes covering eachothers lips as you both slobbily kiss eachother, his own lips eventually finding one of your nipples as he licks and bites it, your hands moving to his shoulders to keep yourself steady before his body suddenly shifts again, now you’re against the headboard, and he’s rutting into you again, the bed shaking viciously while his mouth smothers yours, and your mouth smother his.

Then his constant thrusting seems to get faster, and you feel your stomach tighten. You’re both close, and he doesn’t let up.

“Where, puppy… Tell me where…” He says with emotion laced in his face. You knew where he wanted you.

“Inside… Please Logan, inside…” He moans, his body rippling slightly and you feel his warmth seep through you, covering your walls in white. He thrusts a few more times before pressing another kiss to your mouth, more of a peck, then he rests his forehead on yours. “Does this mean you’re done with your stupid attitude?” He asks, you shake your head.

“You’ve gotta try harder than that…”

[love-belle]

i want sweet revenge and i want him again !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them ignoring their feelings and making the worst decisions.

or

for when they will always be your summer love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

sequel - you were my summer love ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - posting this at 3am bc i have midterms from monday and it's very unlikely i'll post again this month 💔💔💔💔 i love u all so much thank u for reading <3

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yourusername "get him back!" is finally out!!!! i wrote this song in my car after breaking down over the consequences of my own actions and getting yelled at by my twitter girlies <3 summer was fun i had fun we all had fun but the aftermath is not pretty so fuck them boys u all stay happy and thriving hydrated!!!! get ur sweet revenge and get him back!!!!! but fr pls tell his mom her son sucks ❤️

8,628 comments

username there's too much going on idk what to decipher first

username the caption omg 💀💀💀

username her captions never fail to blow me away like girl 90% of these things do not belong here 😭😭😭😭😭

username not her telling us to get our man back but also tell his mom that her son sucks

-> username top tier advice idc

username THE SONG'S A FUCKING BOP OMG

username those lyrics are so her and him coded like 💔💔💔💔💔

charles_leclerc don't call me weird

-> yourusername this is so unprovoked get out

-> username nah what the fuck is charles doing here 😭😭😭😭

-> username CHARLES????

username "bc everyone knew the guy was missing a screw" BABE LET HIM GO!!!!!!!!

username THE TEXT OH MY GOD

username i miss her and that dude ngl

-> username no bc they were so cute together 💔💔💔

-> username why do men ruin everything 😐😐😐😐😐

username "i can fix him" GIRL YOU ARE WORSE THAN HIM

-> yourusername UNCALLED FOR

username i fucking love her and her fans so much like the way we're all js best friends with her and she's sooooo in touch with her fans ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername not true u all js bully me

-> username bc u make stupid decisions

-> yourusername ://

username y/n having beef with 80% of her fans will never not be funny to me like wdym ur FANS bully u

-> yourusername i have proof and im not afraid to use it

-> username "proof" and it's literally just her being a dumbass and us having NORMAL reactions to it

-> yourusername FURTHER PROOF UR HONOUR

username so MUCH for summer LOVE and saying US cause u weren't mine to LOSEEEE

username this is sooo 2000s romcom coded idc

landonorris WEIRD??? ME???

-> yourusername GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS SECTION THIS ISN'T ABT Y'ALL

-> username what the fuck is doing on

-> username im so out of loop wtfff

username "i want sweet revenge and i want him again" unhinged behaviour fr

username every time we think she's healing she comes back and writes a song that's basically a BIG cry for help like girl pls we're getting tired 💔

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paddock.club rumours have been swirling around pierre gasly and his anonymous girlfriend, who's affectionately called 'augustine' by his fans, and their alleged break-up for weeks now. the said rumours were confirmed as gasly was seen out in monaco and he certainly wasn't alone — or with just one consistent company. "this may confuse some people but they were very different from each other," sources close to the couple claimed. "after summer break ended, it felt like so did whatever they had going on." this comes as a shock as despite knowing almost nothing about augustine, fans adored her and they're devasted about the end of their summer love. click on the link in our bio for everything that we know about their relationship.

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pierregasly you're trippin'

9,638 comments

username NAH THE AUDACITY OF M*N SOMETIMES

username BROTHER IM STILL RECOVERING FROM THE AUGUSTINE REVEAL SLOW DOWN

username HELLO???????? HE'S SEEING SOMEONE???????

-> username "he said i was the only girl but that js wasn't the truth"

username the fact that he used HER lyrics for his caption like..........im SICK rn

username when 😭 i 😭 told 😭 him 😭 how 😭 he 😭 hurt 😭 me 😭 he 😭 told 😭 me 😭 i 😭 was 😭 trippin 😭

username im actually in shock rn like my jaw is on the FLOOR

landonorris caption 😬

username no bc im here thinking like she called his friends weird 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that's why charles and lando were so offended in the comments 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username boy she's over there listening to summer love by one direction WHAT R U DOING

username that's not y/n in the last slide and im throwing up rn i need them BACK

username need this all to be a nightmare bc i cannot fucking do this anymore 💔💔💔💔

username it's on SIGHT when i see u on streets

username im so 💔💔💔💔💔

username y'all i feel bad for bullying y/n bc if i were her i too wouldn't move on from this man

-> username fr like we gave her sm shit for being in love with him and im like "girlypop same omg"

-> username real like i see what she saw

charles_leclerc nice choice for caption 👍 very strong words 👍

username here for charles and lando calling him out for the caption like yasss kings ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ do ur work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username y/n needs to be more cunty rn bc this is so wtf

username L caption 🤣🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵🫵

username im gonna miss their summer love era so much like we were FED ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username "and when he said something wrong he'd just fly me to france" WOW OKAYYYY

username something about his last post before this being all about augustine and their summer and now this one is basically shading her like 💔💔💔💔💔

username everyday we stray further away from good

username ripping my hair out why cant bitches be happy ffs

[lovelykil]

DUDE…. Kyle and Stan reacting to there S/O asking for hand pics… (I have a rlly weird fucking hand fetish, my bad 😭)

─Headcanons─

kyle & stan x reader older ver.

hc; asking for hand pics

cw; none

note; HELPP no cs me too......... ermm anyway 😊 ⤵

Kyle—

omg his hands are pale, nice, and slender

Big but not too much, and they are surprisingly soft.

I say surprisingly because he plays basketball.

You'd think they're maybe rough.. they are– he just uses lotion to make his hands soft to the touch

Makes him feel better and clean

Anyway

You LOVEE his hands you sometimes just admire them as he helps you with homework.

Your gaze was drawn as he moved the pencil across the paper, his hand guiding the tool. Some veins faintly appeared as he did so.

You couldn't help but imagine what he could do with them right now if he wasn't blabbering about math homework.

Alright now the GOOD STUFF

As any other person who was just asked if they can send hand pics, he is very much flabbergasted.

He was just writing an essay for his English class when he saw the text, he was so CONFUSED and concerned.

disclaimer I didn't know what the hell to do for usernames so matching it was 🤦🏾‍♀️

He stared at his phone like

'😧' and then '🤨'

Why do you want a hand pic???

For what reason would you send that for 😭??

Well..

He got his answer ☠️

His face IMMEDIATELY went red, setting down his phone to process this situation.

It took like 2 minutes for him to calm down before he took a breather and grabbed back his phone.

He opened his camera and set his hand on his desk, trying to figure out a good camera angle.

I don't know why but bro was stressing

But he finally got a pic he was sorta okay about 🫶🏾

His brain process during this was just all like

what the hell

Why

Why

No I don't like this angle, how about this way

My hand looks stupid she's gonna hate it :(

WHY IS SHE EVEN INTO THIS ANYWAY

I am dating a weirdo.

Anyway he opened back your chat and sent it after a few uncertain seconds.

BARKBARKVAK4KEKKEES

okay sorry, that is literally how I see his hands

so yummy 🤤

After that text message sent, he set that phone down so fast.. and immediately went to type back on his laptop again.

He wasn't too crazy about this request though nothing would compare to when you asked for that whimper audio from him.

He still thinks about it till this day, wanting to die inside

It's okay tho cause you were happy :3

anyway on your end when you saw his notification pop up, you clicked on it FAST

thirsty ass mf

The way you grinned so hard was insane, you were kicking your feet and giggling when you clicked on the photo.

You saved it to your camera roll to add to the rest of the hand pics you secretly had of Kyle..

He doesn't know about this and never will

You went back to your messages with him and texted back

something is purring

and it is not a cat.

Stan—

He wears rings (ohohohoo)

His hands are rough and have calluses from playing his guitar.

Not too rough though just a neutral rough if that even makes sense

When you guys hang out he sometimes likes playing for you

SOMETIMES.

he's a lil shy, he practices alot to play for you so he doesn't look like an idiot.

Sooo that's why his hands are so rough. But you kinda liked it anyway?

The way his chipped black nail-polished fingers strummed his guitar made your stomach do the thing.

Plus his sliver and black rings?

Oh god

It's just the way he glides his fingers tbh I swear

Like play with me like the way you play your guitar 🫤!!

☠️

anywho

Stan was laying in bed, scrolling on TikTok

The usual when he can't sleep and you were already asleep.

Well he thought you were asleep, you sent him a gn text??? But he received a text message 20 minutes later

He's in a little blushy blushy mess now.

What will he do? Send the pic so his gf can rest peacefully? If you said yes...

WRONGG

I'm jk

Idk kinda almost chill wit it? But he definitely felt a little vomit come up in his throat from you thinking of him.

I mean he cares a little like why would you ask that 😭

But it's late so he doesn't really question it

In the pitch dark he snapped a photo of his hand, checked to see if it looked decent then sent his pic.

His rings were off in his 1 😞

but nonetheless you smiled hard, when you saw the picture

Something about his hands screamed

LOSERR that or I just have a problem

but in a hot way ofc, he's a loser but your loser

You giggled like a whore, getting yourself comfortable on your bed.

You then replied back

😭😭