cetaceanhandiwork

[cetaceanhandiwork]

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a study i did because i realized idk how to draw environments at all LMAO

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truly surprising that someone on 4chan would be unable to recognize the troll's face

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fallen london not only implemented 'seeing the hat man' as a game mechanic but has a whole subplot where (depending on your character's long term goals) you can emotionally manipulate him about his ex and then beat him at rummy

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Guy who has wandered through the halls and corridors of your body not with any special kind of love but with the untold intimacy of a contractor assessing the damages and potentials voice: right, so the main issue here is that the body is currently a temple, okay, and what we want is for it to be a home, cause temples are pretty and all and occasionally nice to be in if you're into that sort of thing but very few people would actually want to live in one. So what we're gonna do first is you're gonna take a look at what's here, the carrying walls and windows and all that, and you're going to come up with something you'd actually like to be alive inside of, and it's going to be a lot of work and it's going to feel strange and stupid and embarrassing but you're still gonna do it, because otherwise this construction site is fucked. And maybe what you want to live in is a skatepark or an anime-themed cat cafe or an esoteric library that has a dildo section for some reason, so it might feel like it's a downgrade from a temple, but it's actually the opposite cause the main customer for a body is you and the main customer for a temple are templegoers and maybe higher powers of some kind, - i wouldn't know about those, they never hired me, - not the temple itself, which is what you are, right, cause the body/mind/soul separation doesn't actually do anything, so what you're gonna do is look at the current layout and dig out whatever hope and ability to want you have and come up with a blueprint, and then my boys can actually get to work. Oh, and you have got to change the windows, it's drafty as fuck in here.

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The Doll

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was thinking again about this guy today and the posts he made on election-watching websites back in 2008. easily in the top 10 troll gimmick accounts I've ever personally encountered

I found another post by “He” from the old FiveThirtyEight Blogspot comments, this one discussing his experience as a “Marine Combat Cook”.

Bon appetit.

Keep reading

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Once upon a time, in the heart of a dark and rainy night, a creature appeared at an abbey, climbing through a window to into the room where the abbess was writing notes. It was a wretched beast, not quite human but neither did it resemble any animal that the abbess could name. It was dripping wet, with scarred skin and odd patches of thin, sparse fur, long cracked claws that scraped the stone floor, and sharp teeth so haphazardly scattered that it was hard to say whether there were two rows of teeth or one.

"What do you want, creature?" the abbess asked it calmly.

"I want to become a nun", the creature said. And there was no rule in the books that the abbess could remember that say that would prohibit a strange beast from becoming a nun, if it so desired. So, the beast was accepted into the abbey, and it took to life in the order as naturally as a shepherd dog to herding. She was a meticulous beast, first to wake and rise at dawn, neat and tidy with all tools and tasks she was given, dutiful and devout in all things.

No nun nor novice dared to question the creature's right to be there after the first time the she demonstrated that her teeth are not merely for decoration, and then apologised to the novice who had tried. The beast even graciously offered to mend the habit she had torn. After the incident, she was never bothered again. A handful of other postulants, novices and even a few of the nuns flocked to her, knowing that the creature would not allow anybody to be mistreated in her presence.

Watching the creature wolfishly lope across the abbey courtyard, with her ill-fitting, haphazardly placed cowl flopping as it went, the abbess contemplated the strange being. Despite of her sloppy, haphazard appearance, the beast really did have great potential to become a nun. A being so gentle and friendly could have done well just about anywhere, as would anyone so devout, but what made the creature such a good fit for monastic life was her love of routine. Waking up each morning at the same time, performing the same tasks and duties at the same time, the beast was not only tireless in her work, but actively delighted in regular routines. Which was why the abbey was such a good place for her, and she would one day make an excellent nun.

She was, without a doubt, a creature of habit.

[cetaceanhandiwork]

there’s so many things I keep wanting to say, needing to say, as if I’ve made this huge wonderful discovery that I have a moral duty to share with the world, like some fantastic medicine or scientific breakthrough it would be selfish to keep to myself. but then I remember that people have fallen in love before.

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reblog this and tag with a food you no longer have access to (closed restaurant, state you moved away from, ex’s mom’s cooking, etc) that will haunt you until your dying day, mine are the spicy chicken sandwich on the employee menu at the fine dining restaurant I was a prep cook at, and the onion bagel from the kosher place down the street from my house when I lived in the city

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my favorite fact to besmirch plato's name with is that he once participated full-throat in a debate over who tops in achilles/patroclus and his argument was based on their relative ages & beard sizes

every time i see someone call kirk and spock the oldest ship, i'm filled with the urge to go "hmm actually the holmes and watson girlies have been here for a hundred years now", and i refrain because i know the natural conclusion of this game is gilgamesh and enkidu

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i know this isnt the hottest take in the world but man do i hate anime and games and stuff that are chock full of fun interesting women with cool visual designs and excellent voice acting, but they all orbit a boring male protagonist who exists on a scale from annoying horndog to insufferable douchebag

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I worked really hard on this

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elf yuri fans rejoice i finally sat down and doodled the elves again

meeting her girlfriend's boss

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I suspect this is from before the era of many ppl on this website so I want to share it with y'all.

Sega used to make video game consoles. Their final console was the Dreamcast (released around the Gamecube/PS2 era), but immediately before that was the Sega Saturn. Although the Saturn was a notorious flop in the US market, it did well in Japan... in part, because of one of the most bizarre ad campaigns in gaming history. These ads featured a martial artist named Segata Sanshiro (a pun both on Kurosawa film "Sugata Sanshirō", and on the phrase "segasatan shiro", i.e. "[I order you to] play Sega Saturn!"), who would confront and pummel people in punishment for them choosing pastimes such as baseball and bar-hopping over the noble art of Video Games.

Presented above is a compilation of ad spots starring this character, complete with English subtitles.