#dude went from 5th to 3rd somehow

[mc395686]

Told Gold I'd gift bits if he got exactly 4th place and this happened

[euphoricimagination]

International Love-Haikyuu x Foreigner reader Pt 14

January is here and so are the nationals. The tournament starts on January 5th, so we will be going to Tokyo on the 4th at midnight, after all is only 6 hours on the school bus. After a small fight between the twins trying to decide with who I should sit, I opted to sit with Rin. I love the twins but they can be a little extra from time to time. Rin looks confused when I take his hand and force him to sit with me.

- I´m falling sleep as soon as I can, just to let you know

- Rin, it´s midnight, that´s exactly what I want.

We all settle down, the twins looking at me with an annoyed look after the betrayal. As soon as the bus starts moving, I get as comfortable as I can, put my blanket on me, and lay my head on Rin shoulder. Before I fell sleep, I can feel him moving a little so my head is in a more comfortable position.

The six hours pass rapidly with all of the boys sleeping. It´s 6.30 when I wake up, but I couldn’t move much because Rin was laying his head on top of mine and had a arm around my shoulders. The coach notice that I´m awake and whispers to me.

- Yn-chan, good that you´re awake. We should be arriving in a few minutes. Can you start waking them up please?

- Sure coach

I didn’t know how hard it will be to wake them up, or if they will get angry, but its better to do it now so they are fully awake before having to go down the bus. I start with Rin obviously; I couldn’t really start with anyone else considering how he was holding me. I open the curtains of the bus just enough to let some sun in.

- Rin, hey Rin wake up – I say while poking his chest rapidly – Rin c´mon, wake up

- Mhm chibi-chan shut up – answers him in a low voice, but instead of letting me go, he moves in a way to hug me better– what time is it?

- 6.34 we should be arriving soon. Let me go so I can wake the others up

- No – He says putting his face go on the crock of my neck, somehow hugging me even more tightly. I put my hands on his shoulder to try to push away from him, but that just makes his hands to be firmer on my waist. I get flustered and feel my cheeks burning, I have never seen Rin this clingy before.

- Rin seriously, I need to wake them up ­– I insist – please let go of me

He sighs, but finally get his head out of my shoulder and looks at me with his barely open eyes. I have to admit, dude looks hot, the sun light giving him a light glow. The fluster look on my face doesn’t leave at all, making him smirk a little.

- Guess it was worth it to open my eyes, I have a beautiful view in front of me – he says while moving his eyes up and down. What the hell was happening? I feel his arms relax a little, so I just take the opportunity and get up suddenly.

- Anyways, good morning, Rin. I’m going to wake the others up

I go to the sit behind us, where Kita and Aran where siting. My fluster state didn’t get any better when I see that Kita opens his eyes and gives me a smile.

- Sorry, I woke up when you opened the curtain. I was going to help you if things went further though. I promise – he says making me go all red again. I know he said it with good intentions, but what else was he expecting? Rin and I are just friends…but then again, I couldn’t really explain what happened either.

- Can you help me wake them up please? – I say trying to ignore the last part of his sentence

- Sure thing.

With the help of Kita everyone is awake when we arrive to the hotel. Rin goes back to his normal self when I came back to my seat, so I decide to pretend that nothing happened and continue like normal. We take our things out and go to see our rooms. The boys are all on the 3rd floor while I am in the 4th, next to the coach room. After everyone accommodate themselves, we go to a nearby gym so the boys can practice. It was odd, but I couldn’t sense any nerves from the team, not even the first years even though this would be their first time playing in the nationals. Maybe it hasn’t fully sink in the fact that we are in Tokyo.

The practice goes like usual, everyone doing their best and trying to perfect their attacks. It was already 6 pm when the coach told them to stop.

- But coach, it´s still early. Tomorrow are the nationals; we have to practice more! – says Tsumu. So now the guys started to feel nervous

- Tsumu – I say instead of the coach – You already practice a lot. If you continue your body is going to get tired and you can have trouble tomorrow, you don’t want that do you?

- But…

- Taking care of yourself is also part of training, you know that

- …I know

- Then let´s go – says the coach – Well done Yn-chan. I can always trust you to made sense with the team.

When we arrive to the hotel, I decided to search up some of the teams that we could play against, the first round was against Yokosuka High School, from the Kanagawa Prefecture. The volleyball team looks really solid. The other potential team that we could go against is Shiratorizawa, from the Miyagi prefecture. The ace of that team, Wakatoshi Ushijima, looks really strong, especially considering that he´s only a second year. I watched some of their games to have a better knowledge of their team, but soon decided to go to sleep.

We are on our way to the gymnasium. Now the boys seem much more nervous, fidgeting with their clothes, or talking more. Tsumu in particular seems to be quieter than usual.

- Tsumu, are you okay? – I ask him, he looks at me, eyes widen a little

- Yes, just a little nervous

- You´re going to be fine, I know it – I say taking his hand in mine

- Thanks, chibi

The gym was full of colors due to the uniforms of the other schools. Since our uniform was fully black, we stand out a bit, and also it made the team more intimidating. I was on the back with Samu making sure that all the boys stay together. I notice that a lot of teams are looking at me. Not only I was the manager of this team, but I also stand out for my looks, after all I don’t look Japanese at all. Everyone here is a fucking titan, I think to myself while looking around. The crowd level starts to get higher, so I instinctively take Samu´s arm, I didn’t want to get lost in this sea of men and woman.

- Scared chibi-chan? Everyone is tall here

- I just don’t want to wander off. I´m not comfortable in huge crowds.

- True, come here – says Samu, passing his arm over my shoulders protectively – We don’t want to lose our beautiful manager with so many men around.

We stop on an emptier area, waiting for the opening ceremony to start. I talk to the boys, trying to calm them down a bit. I was talking to Aran and Tsumu, who ask me about the team they were against with, when we hear a commotion around us. I barely can hear the whispers saying, “isn’t that dude on the top 5?” “Dude, he´s huge”. Before I can ask the guys about it, I hear a familiar scream.

­- HEY, HEY, HEY! CHIBI HEY! – and right when I turn around, I feel a really strong pair of arms around my waist, lifting me up from the ground and spinning.

- Bokuto-san! – I say while laughing, putting my arms around his shoulders to give him a hug.

- Bokuto-san, stop spinning around and put her down, we don’t want anything to happen to her, do we? – says Akaashi, who’s right behind

- AKAASHI! Do you really think I would let anything happen to her? – says Bokuto, putting me down nonetheless and giving me a back hug instead. I blink a few times trying to make the dizziness disappear – I just missed our chibi-chan a lot.

- I know, Bokuto-san, I miss her too. Hi Yn-chan, how have you been? – he says while putting his attention to me. I take Bokuto’s arm off and go to his side and give him a quick hug, which he returns.

- I’m fine Akaashi, how are you guys? – I say while letting him go. Bokuto immediately appears putting an arm on my shoulders, answering the question

- We have been fine! You know the other day we had a practice match with Nekoma and…

- We’re still here, you know. Hi Bokuto-san, hi Akaashi-kun – says Tsumu with his eyes a little squinted

- TSUMU! HI! Sorry I forgot to say hi to you. HI GUYS! – says Bokuto waving at the rest of the team. They smile waving back and let me be, knowing that I miss the guys and that I would be safe with them, or at least they trust Akaashi with that.

After all the commotion the whispers around us intensify, I could hear some of them going like “who’s that girl that Bokuto, THE Bokuto hugged?” “she’s hot too”" Isn't she dating some Inarizaki member? She was with the grey hair dude”. The whispers continue, making me tense. I feel a hand moving up and down on my shoulders, making me come back to reality. I soon realize that Bokuto was the owner of the hand, probably noticing how tense I was. When I look at him, he just smiles and moves me in front of him, putting his chin on top of my head.

Bokuto tell us that he is in the other group, so the only way for our schools to play against each other will be if both of us win every single match and meet in the semifinals. We continue talking to them, some of my foxes joining here and there, until a voice through the speaker announced that it was time to get ready for the opening eremony.

- BYE GUYS! Let's meet at the semifinals! - Bokuto says to our team

- Of course, make sure to not lose Bokuto-san, we'll be waiting there - Says Tsumu with a playful grin

- I will win! - says before turning to me and ruffling my hair - See you Chibi-chan, cheer for me okay?

- Bokuto-san, she has a team to cheer on herself - says Akaashi - We will see you in between matches, Yn-chan, after all I still owe you a birthday present.

- You don't have to buy me anything, Akaashi, it's fine. See you guys, good luck!! And Bokuto-san - he bends down noticing that I wanted to whisper something to him - I will cheer for you too!

- HEY, HEY, HEY. We will win Akaashi!!! Let's go!

I go back to my foxes while they get ready. Rin, Tsumu and Samu instantly coming closer to me, a mix of proud, happy, sad and nervous is on their faces.

- I'm happy that you have friends outside of us, chibi-chan - says Samu squishing my hand while Tsumu literally lays on me.

- We are still your favorites, right? – asks Rin

- Of course, you guys will always be my favorites players and friends

- We better be. After all we have been together.

- Let’s do this guys, let's win against everyone – says Tsumu with determination.

The guys go to the front, while I go back with the coach. We start walking towards the center of the gym while they announce our school. The tournament is just about to start, and the boys couldn't be more ready for it.

~~~~

Part 13 - Part 15

Cursive words/sentences are in Japanese

Bold words/sentences are in English

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

This dumbass, Injured Ace literally led the Killer all the way to the Hooked person despite Kindred showing that I was already with them. And everyone knew the person was Hooked by the Totem so I was doing that first. But then fucking Ace decides to just lead the Oni all the way to us. And it ends up with 1 person having to save all our asses because he fucked me over. Ace didn’t have Borrowed Time either. No reason to come over there at all.

I spawn in next to Hex Totem and do it. I then round the edge of the map to the next Totem spawn which is also a Hex. I keep going and while doing my 3rd Hex in a row, another Hex is broken. And then seconds after the 3rd one breaks, the 5th one breaks. The Killer rage-quit. It was apparently Devour Hope and Undying. Pathetic. A Michael who can’t win without that combo? Seriously? And then had to message all of us to tell us we’re tryhards? The Gens nearest to me were blocked and I knew that meant the Killer was on the other side of the map. Why would I go over there when I can break Totems to pass time until the Gens aren’t blocked anymore?

So I let this Claudette die on Hook because in an earlier match, she made no attempt to save me at the end despite the fact that I saved her ass once already, and I hadn’t even been Hooked all game. She and the other 2 teammates, who could have all been a distraction, fucking let me die and just ran out the door. I’m petty.

Today(Monday) was the day in which I liberated Med-Kits from people’s corpses. Since they don’t show up in my Claudeet’s bloodweb, this is my best chance! XD 4 purples, 3 yellows, and 9 browns!

Killer using Hexes Haunted Grounds and Unydyng together. We broke all the Totems and she got no one down even with essentially 3 Haunted Grounds effects!

Got a Killer dumb enough to face camp me and in that time, 4 Gens popped by the time I was at the end of struggle phase 2. And when that fourth Gen popped, the Killer hit me and then rage-quit(meaning I still Escaped). Then sent me some shit about how we SWFs need to ‘take the L’. We weren’t swf. And like, if he’s dumb enough to stand still for almost 2 minutes doing nothing but nodding, they might as well take advantage of it. 3 different Gens popped at once and then they all did the fourth together.

A Steve left our lobby and then reappeared. Then left again. Then reappeared. The left again. Then reappeared. He stopped trying to leave after that. XD Mr. Wet Ass Pussy over here. I had a Breakout build going on, so I prevented Meg from getting Hooked like a bajillion times, always ending up in the dying state with Steve having to come and heal me up for another go! We all died but it took forever and the Deathslinger was so peeved he let me bleed out in the hall.

Wraith has to be the weakest Killer because if he was better, there’d be no way all these Wraith Mains would need to invisible camp a Hook just to get a Kill(and then somehow get no Kills all match cuz they just suck that much).

Got a Trapper to DC cuz I pushed my dying body against a window and then he kept trying to pick me up but would just vault and I don’t remember how many times, since I was laughing so hard, but the dude just rage-quit instead of leaving me there!

Spent 9K Iridescent Shards on Deathslinger. Couldn’t help myself.

Just my luck to get Paulie Esther(one of the best known DbD streamers/YouTubers) and his friends during my first match as Deathslinger. During his birthday stream. I did okay. I think one of the friends gave me a pity kill by staying until the Endgame Collapse finished. That or they were too far from the other door(apparently they were since she said ‘he’s standing in front of the door!’ when the timer was almost up) and I was standing in front of the lever so they couldn’t finish opening my door.

Got a second game with him an hour later! Got 2 Kills this time right in the endgame and he was one of them! I was Spirit this time though! My redemption!

dbddayjp2020 will get you 200K blood points if you redeem this code in the game store.

This^ made me panic because those two were connected to the bloodweb. But then I went to check Perks and came back and it was normal again. I put in about 900K BP into this dude already. LV 38.

[mwagneto]

1, 30 & 36

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

oh god you're braver than any us marine ok so instead of what everyone expects I'll do a detour and start with the honourable mention that is rdj sherlock, i was super depressed (and I mean like. incredibly so) after sherlock s4 because it just sucked so bad, like i was deadass in ruins and i was trying to find ANYTHING to take my mind off it and by the end of February I watched and read pretty much all Sherlock media there is except for rdj because for some reason I thought it was bad?? but then I noticed the first movie was downloaded on my laptop so I went ok fuck it and watched it on the 26th of February and HOLY SHIT I fell in love with RDJude's dynamic literally immediately their chemistry was so fucking good and the plot and the script and the setting and the music and- point is I fucking loved it so I watched the second movie on the same day and Mother of FUCK it was somehow even better and gayer and sweet Jesus I've been obsessed with them since

NOW onto the real deal, light of my life and my reason for living....Rocketman

Jesus Christ I don't think I've ever been this hyped for a movie in my life

I saw the first trailer on November 11th but I wasn't into it at all mainly because I saw it in theaters and they played the censored version and made it look like some het movie about an imaginary person

But then I saw it trending when the second trailer came out and I scrolled through the trending tag and watched the trailer and boy I was HOOKED

And holy fuck the wait was Agonising especially since the fandom on here consisted of like. Me and 3 or 4 other people and then some ppl who didn't post but reblogged stuff - point is the fandom just. Didn't Exist

By the time carpool came out there were a bit more but still basically nothing, hell in my desperation I even looked at stan tw*tter a few times but I regretted it each time and thankfully I don't remember anything specific

But anywayS so the movie is supposed to come out on the 31st of May but for some reason they release it on the 18th in the UK and then turns out it won't come out until the 5th of June here???

I was so fucking mad my friend and I literally almost went to Wien to watch it

Worst of all, the big cinema chain that's in my city didn't even put the tickets out

And when they did they only put them out for Thursday and only the dubbed version

Which, ew, but I was like I don't care I'll take what I can get

But THEN I went into the city one Saturday and I was just riding the tram listening to the soundtrack when in passing I saw a theater that had a big ass Rocketman sign on the front

It was literally like a 0.1 second glimpse because the tram was going fast but I immediately went rabid and found it online and turns out not only were they showing Rocketman on the 5th of June, they also have the original English version

So I booked two tickets immediately and waited because I still wasn't sure the usual cinema wouldn't put their tickets out

So I stayed up every night until midnight to see if there were tickets but No

Finally they put them out on Tuesday midnight so a day before it's supposed to be released but only for Thursday so I was like ok fuck you I'm going to the other one

Oh yeah by this point I've been logged off Tumblr for weeks because i didn't want spoilers so I didn't have Any Rocketman content at all, I didn't even dare to look at YouTube videos or anything because I was scared the recommended section would spoil me

So yeah I was absolutely content deprived

Fucking FINALLY the 5th of June rolls around and we get to the theater and wait for it to start and jesus fukingn

I'm gonna be honest I literally don't even remember much because I was so high on "oh my fucking god I'm finally watching it" but holy SHIT IT WAS JUST. SO GOOD.

I do remember a few things

I know I screamed out loud when Richard first appeared during crocodile rock (even tho I knew he was gonna be there at some point but it was still so sudden I fuckin lost it)

Also I held my friend's hands during tiny dancer like my life depended on it skdnd

And I've told this story a million times but tmttp shocked the soul out of me coz I knew what it meant scene wise and I didn't think they'd play it so fuckign early skmfsk I had like a full body convulsion and drew my hands back and my calf muscle cramped so hard it hurt for a whole week afterwards

anyway I didn't cry

somehow

I thought I'd be sobbing like mad but I didn't and I still haven't

Idk for some reason I just can't cry over this even tho I SHOULD and I want to

my friend did sjsnfjd

we were fucking. spent dude I don't think I stopped smiling until I fell asleep

Anyway after she somewhat finished crying and we exchanged a few words we somehow got up from our seats and left

She had to print a few things so we walked to a photocopier and talked about the movie but it wasn't anything more coherent than just verbal keysmashes

Literally it was so smfjsjjdsjdn i felt high

I was so fucking HAPPY bro it was so fucking good and everything I expected and way more like we were over the fucking moon

I brought food coz I like to eat during movies but I didn't even dare to look away from the screen during this one

While she got her printing sorted I logged back into Tumblr and checked the tags (they were still disappointingly empty😔)

We then went to a park near the tram and ate the food I brought and talked abt the movie till it got dark at which point we headed for the train and talked there some more before she had to get off at her stop

I spent the rest of the ride smiling like an idiot listening to the soundtrack and texting her & other people

I went for a bit of a walk on the mountain I live on to clear my head but I was literally so happy and giddy I couldn't stop smiling hhh I'm losing it just thinking about all the stuff I felt

By that point I was super low and empty coz of school stuff and irl stuff so to feel so many emotions after months of feeling absolutely nothing was a LOT

Anyway I got home by...idk, late, and blasted the soundtrack on full volume for a while before booking her and myself tickets for Thursday so we could watch it again

And we did

And it was just as amazing as the first time

And then on impulse I watched it again on Friday

And then I went to watch it again on Saturday and as soon as it ended I ran to a nearby theater and watched it again immediately

Then again on Wednesday

After watching it on the 5th I lost my appetite both for food and for water, and also my need for sleep, so until I gained it back after watching it next Wednesday I basically didn't eat, drink or sleep for an entire week but it didn't take a toll on me, somehow

The Rocketman power

Anyway we watched it again on Saturday and Sunday (the girl I mentioned came with me both times then and on Saturday so did another girl)

And then I had exams, a class trip and a family vacation so I couldn't watch it for an agonizing two weeks

but then finally watched it again on the 3rd of July with another friend (a 3rd one)

And then on the 6th of July with the original girl

And then on the 7th and the 9th at home alone and them on the 12th with yet another friend (4th one)

Then I went to watch it in theaters alone again on the 18th

And then one more time with the first girl on the 24th

Then on the 3rd of August alone

And then the first girl came over on the 9th of August and we watched the deleted scenes and the extras and then the extended movie

Then I was once again busy so I couldn't watch it until the 25th

And I took my laptop to the hotel I'm staying at for two weeks rn so I watched it here on the 30th

And now here we are

Jesus fucking Christ I'm so sorry for making you read all this

This took me like an hour to type

Anyway! Peace and thanks for asking skdmsmcmsmmd

30: Talk about what turns you off.

I don't have any turnons or turnoffs tbh skdndn I'm. not about that sorta stuff

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

sometimes I hateread awful old fanfics on Wattpad because they make me wanna die but like in a good way

[dojadogedog]

Storytime

School was a roller coaster ride of emotions yeehaw

So at the beginning of the school day me and two of my friends were talking about how one of our clasmates masturbates in class pretty constantly (they’ve seen her do it a lot and so has my best friend) and we got really grossed out bc the classmate touches my wheelchair ALOT and then we kept saying we need to disenfect my wheelchair so my boyfriend went to the library to get some disenfectant wipes and yeah

The first two periods were normal. Me complaining about how i cant text my bf bc hes grounded, my friends being chaotic, one of my friends being singled out by the teacher, just the usual

In 3rd period i got a sticky note from one of my friends and wrote “i love you bitch” on it to give to my boyfriend the next period

Then ela/library/4th period. I talked w/ my boyfriend and friends n stuff and i put the sticky note on my bf’s arm. He read it and smiled (it was precious 😭) and he wrote thanks on it and my friend was freaking out and called us cute n SKDKSLSJSN

Then i told my table about how i can finally move my right leg (thanks to electrical stimulation therapy) and they were so happy for me :D

my friends were like “dude thats really good!!” And my bf said “thats amazing” and it was epic

then the teacher started talking about our escape routes if theres a shooting at our school and somehow my table started talking about fires?? (Idk how but yEah) and a different friend said he’d yeet some books into the fire and i said i’d yeet myself into the fire and my bf said “no!!” and the other friend said “If you do that *boyfriend’s name* would be sad!! He would cry!! Do you want him to cry??” and i was like “o-oh no i dont want him to cry D: i wouldnt do it then”

Nothing really happened 5th period.

Then lunch.

Oh boy lunch.

So we were talking like we normally do. Just our table talking and being chaotic. Everything fine and dandy. It got to the point where we’re able to go to the gym. Me and my friends head to the gym. We violently t-pose, spin me in circles, push me around the gym; the usual.

And then my friend accidentally makes a super sharp turn and im flipped over on the floor on the side of my wheelchair.

Wowie.

People are freaking out and my bf somehow pulled my wheelchair back upright (i say somehow bc hes tiny and me + my wheelchair is almost 300 pounds) and everyone’s asking if im ok and stuff and one of my friends i call mom comes to hug me and asks if im ok. My adrenaline levels were going NYOOM and i was trembling and everything felt weird. When the bell rang me n my best friend and boyfriend discussed how it was fucking terrifying while we were heading to the elevator. As we part ways we agree on not telling my grandma bc she’d prolly sue the school

6th period more ppl ask if im ok and im not. I eventually start crying (and it felt super weird) so one of my friends suggests she tells the teacher i need to use the bathroom so i can chill out in there a bit. We tell the teacher and me and my best friend go in the bathroom (she has to go w/ me bc the upstairs bathroom doesnt work and i cant go in the elevator for the downstairs one on my own) and we talk about it for a bit

By 8th period a ton of ppl know what happened including 2 teachers and i still felt really weird.

9th period was the same

And 10th period everything was pretty normal. Me, my friends, and my bf talked to eachother like we normally do and it was fun.

Note: i kinda hurt my hand when i flipped over and some parts of my wheelchair got pretty messed up but my family hasnt noticed so yay

So like i said; school was a roller coaster ride of emotions yeehaw

[diana-panda]

wow I can’t even remember the last time I logged onto Tumblr. This place used to be my life, I even had to reset my password to log back on here. i’m amazed that I still have followers. looking at things I used to blog about is so bittersweet, I legitimately feel the things I felt back in the days. shit was really changed since then. been broken over and over and having to grow bigger and bigger. I decided every few years I'll make a  post, a lil update of my life so I can  continue to self reflect on the shit I wanna change. considering I know absolutely none of my followers, this is the perf place for me to just unload a bunch sack load of shit. covid was crazy this year, survived that shit and realize all those years smoking have really fucked my lungs up. today I got another call from Dahni, who I still consider as my best friend forever. one day when we both got our shit together and both thinking straight again, I know we’ll be able to be friends like we used to. I never pick up to phone numbers I don’t know but every fuckin time I randomly choose to pick up to a rando number - it’s Dahni. this is the 5th time she has called me from a mental hospital. it’s crazy, never thought my life would have be me working in a mental hospital and her coming in and out of one. after all these years, you’ve probs haven’t seen her in 3 years - but she has never ever forgot your phone number, even when she has completely lost her mind. she literally doesn't make sense when she talks. at the beginning, you sometimes understood the shit she said and understood what she meant and felt because you were that fuckin close to losing your whole damn mind before you decided to get sober. still so proud of you choosing to be sober, even after probation, even after drug tests. Dahni still remembers your literal exact address. she said she’s been sending you letters for the past 2-3 years but you haven’t seen shit, especially because you moved to Milwaukee this year. you texted daddy but he said he ain’t seen shit, probs lying, he would hide this shit from you. he always hated her but he doesn’t understand that it was actually you who got her into drugs in the first place. I pray all the time Dahni has completely lost herself or she’ll be able to return to herself again, I miss having my best friend around. after the call, you looked at oldddd ass pics like 2015 shit, yall were the craziest - up and just went to alberqueque, breaking into hotels and creating body slides out of tables and chairs in the ballroom, tripping at the trail of lights and deciding to just walk towards the Austin skyline, there were so many pics I don’t even know where we’re at. I miss that life with you dude, not giving two shits about anything and doing whatever we could to just live life. you were the one person I connect with in such a weird way. anyway 2020 was the year I had to finally grow up, and I can’t be more proud. the reason I got sober was because I was drugged then gang raped in 2016, but I have finally accepted that it happened and I am finally moving past it. your ptsd and anxiety was debilitating. months of therapy with no progress, Janet your psychologist thought the best option was drugs to calm you down but you refused, mommy had to move down to San Antonio with you, you got daddy to install security cameras around the house, you went to 3 different police stations and 2 different apple stores because you thought you were being tracked, a panic attack literally every fuckin day, you got your first gun - but damn shit has changed. I think when you got rogue, that was the start of your life changing around. you used to walk her literally only on your street but now you can walk her for hours anywhere. you got control of your own life again. texas sunshines helped you tremendously, you met a few life long friends - even though you made some besties but ended up losing them - either way, they helped you return back to your old self, the free spirit and careless golden wild beautiful soul you had. exposure therapy - that shit works. going to 6th every weekend, even a couple times a weekend helped you a lot. you had only a couple freak outs where you let your anxiety take over you but there was progress. you have grown so much the past 4 years, it’s honestly mind blowing because you used to be at rock bottom. you legit lost your mind at one point, legit rock bottom, even hearing voices and seeing shit, Janet said drug induced psychosis - but your resiliency and strong heart and soul helped you, with the help of god of course. you were in such a dark place but getting through that helped you be where you are now. but none of this could've happened without the help of your parents - they taught you the definition of unconditional love. maybe that’s why Dahni is still battling this love and hate relationship with drugs - she doesn’t have this support system like you. your parents never gave up on you dude, like how am I ever gonna repay them, because if it wasn’t for them - I'd literally be dead long ago. you still have only told a few of your close friends. Dahni and Mikayla a year after it happened. kiara, erin, and Gracie 3 years after it happened. maybe that’s all that ever has to know. this shit don’t define your life anymore girl. it sucked but you have let that shit take enough of your life. no more living in the past. you live and you learn. stop thinking of ways how you’ll somehow find these fuckers and make them pay, they’ll get what’s coming to them. I used to pray everyday these fuckers got killed and died a horrible and painful death but you’re letting them win every time you waste a second thinking about them. just be thankful you got out of that shit alive. you have this deep rooted reputation of a party girl. but never forget, daddy defended you when yall had guests over once - “yes she parties a lot, but she also studies hard too.” you’re legit a UT grad, you got into grad school - which you are killing. you’ve never been a straight A student but now you are in grad school whaaat. but you know if you studied this much and this hard during UT - you would’ve had a higher gpa, but no regrets. ever!! my time at UT was truly a blessing - it was the best time and worst time ever. that was boot camp training you to be resilient. you used to think you were being punished for having to move to Milwaukee for grad school but that was the biggest blessing in disguise. Jim howard was right, even if I did get accepted into UT’s msn program - I shouldn’t go or stay anywhere near Austin, I have too many distractions here, I would’ve failed out immediately - I need to start thinking like a healthcare provider, people’s literal lives will be in your hands. you can’t kill no one dude, losing your license will actually be the end of yo life and all this school and bullshit would’ve been for nothing. Milwaukee was rough at the beginning but you’ve grown to fall in love and appreciate its true beauty. you needed a break from Austin, it’ll always be your endgame and it aint going anywhere. you got to start over, start fresh, grow up, it was exactly what you needed. Milwaukee was the place where you defeated your ptsd, your annoying anxiety - I mean yeah sometimes you do psych yourself out but you have made the craziest progress, even Janet is so surprised and proud of you! you fuckin live alone and do a damn good job of it. but it wouldn’t have happened without Lola. rogue saved you 4 years ago and now Lola has saved you. they are both fuckin wild and misbehaving, but I am sooooo thankful I have them in my life. god put the most perfect dogs into my life, they helped you be where you’re at today. you even made a fuckin solo trip with just you and Lola from Milwaukee to Austin, stayed in Memphis with just yall 2 and literally no panic attacks. never thought that would have ever been possible. lol having your gun around definitely helps. this year you realized that you used to be fat, how come no one told you omg. but that doesn’t matter because you have finally reached the weight you had on your vision board that you made in high school - 105. you got home from grad school and literally every single fuckin person in your life has said you lost so much weight - girl you didn’t even know it, you don’t got a scale in Milwaukee. but looking at past pics, holy shit girl you lost weight. you still got some to go but good job dude - don’t ever let yourself get that bad again. your new goal is to be 100, then you can stop stressing. lol you’ve been trying to lose weight literally since high school, and all it took was grad school and being depressed AFFFFFFFFF to lose 20 fuckin pounds! with the help of addy too. yeah you were depressed, started in the 2nd semester of grad school and was at its worse at in the 3rd semester. but you yourself, and Lola of course, pulled yourself out of that. you walked to the beach, appreciate the scenery, focus on the sound waves - learn to love life again. you’ve changed so much dude, I feel like you’ve finally lost all of your old self now. quarantining for covid made you finally truly clean your room and rearrange it. took the biggest cleanse of your life, and damn it was a struggle because you the biggest hoarder out here. you found your old pieces, crazy how you still got them, you found old pills, even weed - proud of you for throwing everything away finally, and real quick. because you did think about smoking some and pop a pill or two - what’s the worst thing that can happen right. bitch you know what can happen, normal people can do that but you have forever fucked your mind up, like physically and biologically fucked up your brain. the way drugs works on your brain and Dahni’s brain only has a dark side to it - drug induced psychosis - every time, no matter what or when or how long it’s been, you have forever fucked that up. yall dropped the ball on that shit, yall did it too much, esp the mind altering shit and will never be able to enjoy drugs again - but that’s okay. you don’t need that shit. okay for guys, fuckin listen to me here girl. we ain’t going into zayne or Terren - yo first 2 boyfriends was just dipping yo feet in the waters for dating. you already know what you learned from them. you know what you want and don’t you ever fuckin settle.”life is a mess when you settle for less.” I loved Arin, and I'll always love him. your dumbass almost married him but why, knowing he does not meet half yo standards. from Arin, you learned you want someone that treats you like a princess like he did, he always showed you off, he put you on a pedestal, you were legit his everything - you want someone that does that, where you are their everything. but you don’t want someone who gets angry like that, who lets problems get bigger and bigger til they explode - shit needs to be fixed immediately, if your their everything - shouldn’t they do everything in their power to make sure it stays like that. from josh, you learned you want someone who you can be your goofy self and have fun and literally laugh all the damn time with you - it was such a fun time with josh, yall really did have this amazing connection. he truly loved you and honestly truly loved you. I loved josh, and I'll always love him too. he was the first relationship you had after getting raped, and he showed you how to trust men again. these 2 dudes lacked goals and had different visions for the future from you. you’re such a goal oriented and family oriented person - they were not. you worked hard to get to where you are today, and continue to drop the guys and the people who will get in the way of your goals. friends too - if they ain’t with you, drop em. in the end, it’s your family who will always be there for you. lol you truly treat guys like shit dude and everyone knows it, you don’t even feel bad about it, maybe it’s from being raped, maybe it’s from that ginormous wall you’ve built, or maybe you’re just that afraid of getting hurt, but that’s okay, you can keep doing that, it’ll get rid of the weak ones - what you can’t do is treat the good ones like shit, like tai. you never expected to find a dude so different, but maybe that’s what you need. he’s the exact opposite of the typical guys you usually go for - a fuckin gamer, not 6 feet, lol even asian. you didn’t date tai but yall definitely had something for 6 months. he has never done drugs and doesn’t want to even try drugs - I didn’t know that was maybe something I needed in a guy. from tai, you learned that you do want someone who went to college, grad school is even better, super caring about you. at one point you did think he was going to be the one - he speaks Vietnamese, he’s in pharmacy school, he can game with your brother. he may seem perfect but you learned a lot of shit you don’t want in someone. you’re not on social media a lot anymore, other than snapchat. you even had insta deleted for months - then when school ended for winter break, it took you awhile to download insta again, but when you did, you made one post and never got on it again. tai is super in the social media world, and you don’t want that. you’re starting to be someone who really lives in the moment, the shit happening right in front of you matters to you more, you don’t want someone super into the social media world. he doesn’t treat you like you’re a priority to him, he actually makes it clear that he actually doesn’t give two shits about you - so why you allowing yourself putting any efforts into that. the second he’s upset, he’ll drag that shit out and won’t try to fix shit at all - you need someone who will fix shit right then and there so yall don’t go to sleep at night angry, you need someone who will fight and continue fighting for you no matter what. he doesn’t apologize for shit and when he does, there is always an excuse - you need someone who owns up to shit and apologizes sincerely. you deserve someone who truly cares about you and is committed to you, they need to do anything in their power to keep you and show you love you and not give up on you. you did not get gang raped to settle down for someone who doesn’t make you feel loved. you did not graduate from UT and get into grad school for someone who causes you mental stress and make you unhappy. you did not grow into this strong, independent, brilliant ass woman to date someone who makes you question your worth. you deserve someone who continuously challenges you to be your best self and make you feel beautiful. cami said you deserve someone who spoils you, and she is damn fuckin right. you have come so far, getting sober, getting into grad school, someone needs to feel lucky as fuck they have you. but what’s the common denominator between all these dudes - quit pushing guys away, quit purposely ruining shit because you’re scared of shit, quit getting pissed because they don’t react the way you wanted, quit overthinking shit because you’re usually fuckin wrong. just don’t settle for less but allow yourself to get close. your trust issues ain't going anywhere, but learn to put your guard down a tad bit, let yourself get hurt - it’ll only make you into a stronger bitch than you already are. nothing will ever hurt you nearly as much when you got raped. if you got through that, you can literally get through anything. a lot has happened in the last 4 years, but you know what you need to focus on. continue working on your best self. keep thriving and surviving. maybe we’ll self reflect and reorient again when grad school is over in a couple years and you’re back in Austin. just be happy <3 do your best and fuck the rest

[warrumabi]

After 1827th day

I started to having crush on this certain person roughly 5 years ago i don’t remember the exact day, but i remember it was Oct 2012 it was at least 1827 days ago i even broke up with my high school lover and never been in relationship ever since 

i was dealing with anxieties, depressions, suicidal tendencies and ton of tears i was and still in circumstances where i can’t say what i feel to them may be i’m just afraid of rejection, not only from them, but from people

every years i said to my self “this is the last time, this is the last year” but here i am still standing in the same spot after five fucking years

these past years, i managed to get closer to them, and i think now may be i am one of their best friends being best friends with a person i like for five years makes me realize how precious they are and how i am not deserved for this from this day i’ll mark everyday about me and this certain person this is supposed to be a story of how i moved on and how i survived

                                           OCTOBER 2017 Oct 29th, 2017 1827th day - you finally reply to my chat from 4 days ago, saying “sorry”, “what’s wrong” and “is everything’s ok?”, i replied “just saying hi”...we end up chat a bit and you said i should come to your place because the beaches were superb. i said “no thanks, i don’t like beach anyway” which is a lie that i hope you notice. Suddenly you mention a movie that i’d probably like, i watched it asap and yes, that movie was superb because i always like plot twist. i send back some recommended movies to you, hope you watch those, especially the first one.

Oct 30th, 2017 1828th day - we chat a bit, continuing what we talked about yesterday. You recommended me some others movies and said i should watch those. i did add those to my “to watch list”. that’s all. Oct 31st, 2017 1829th day - nothing happened today.

                                            NOVEMBER 2017

Nov 1st, 2017 1830th day - nothing happened today either. haven’t watch the rest of your movie list, i was so busy and tired. i saw your friend’s post about video calling you. ah also, recently i thought about marriage, idk why tho. Nov 2nd, 2017 1831st day - no contact today either. got a news that you’ll be back this saturday and i got a mixed feelings. i registered us to this event on 7th for free dinner and stuff. Nov 3rd, 2017 1832nd day - this morning you chat me asking for help to pay your bill again cause you were still out town. you asked about the event on 7th but i replied shortly. then you also asked whether i had watch the movies you recommended, i hadn’t and planned to watch them this weekend and asking you back about my movies recommendation that i gave you, you said you did watch some...little did i knew maybe those movies doesn’t suit your taste. you asked about the weather, and complain that it’s rain a lot there. I replied on the noon cause work, and i attached your bill that i paid. you read later and never replied. i couldn’t think straight the whole day, knowing that you’ll come back tomorrow (you still hadn’t tell me that you’ll be back this saturday tho) . i’m calling your name before sleep tonight, kinda longer than usual. Nov 4th, 2017 1833rd day - you still hadn’t reply. c’mon at least say thanks. you didn’t tell me that you back today. i waited for your or your friend post update, but it’s zero. i end up watching one of your recommended movies...it was good, i wonder how you reacted in those kiss scenes tho. Nov 5th, 2017 1834th day - finally you replied this morning, damn dude what’s taking you so fucking long?! this is why i hate chatting with you. still, now we are in the same city, breathing the same air again. i’m calling you again this morning. we probably meet tomorrow (i really hope so). Nov 6th, 2017 1835th day - still no news from you. somehow i heard people mention your name a lot today. i wonder where they got news from... Nov 7th, 2017 1836th day - today is the event day. i was really looking forward for today. i arrived at college on 7 flat in the morning. eat breakfast alone near it. day past, and it’s start raining hard at noon. i had to pick my lil sis first before went to that event. arrived at home soaking wet, checked my phone just to find that YOU SAID YOU COULDN’T COME because you still at out of town, the worst about it was you said it FUCKING AN HOUR BEFORE IT START. i was furious. i was really into coming to this event. even my sis knew i really wanna went. and you know i couldn’t go alone. WHY YOU ONLY READ MY CHAT A FUCKING HOUR BEFORE THE EVENT?. i was crying hard until half an hour because i was furious but i can’t say a word. somehow i fell asleep and woke up at 10 pm. i was too tired and too sad today. way to go bud, you never fail to disappoint me. Nov 8th, 2017 1837th day - i ended up staying awake the rest of the night. having a nice day huh? swinging by a sea shore while you just ruining my day yesterday? ...jeez, this is it. i'm being hateful again, i overreact again. *sigh* . didn’t you ever feel guilty at all? didn’t you ever considering my feeling? Nov 9th, 2017 1838th day - today supposed to be the day you start went to college again. but i didn’t see you at all. my sleep cycle was a mess since two days ago. i was so tired again. i thought i was happier without you, i wish we didn’t have to be in a same town. being in a same town with you making me anxious and sad again. Nov 10th, 2017 1839th day - my sleep cycle was still a mess, the whole day thinking ”what if i met you today? i’m not ready yet” but somehow part of me want to see you. decide to sleep early tonight, you suddenly popped out in my chat just before i closed my eyes. you said something about college, and said you probably were still out of town on Monday. i took a long sigh realized that you were not here, not in this town. hmm...you probably went back to your hometown. i decided to not read and reply right away. Nov 11th, 2017 1840th day - i replied your chat shortly at 10 morning, nothing much happened. ah, i decided to continue the movie list you gave me. Nov 12th, 2017 1841st day - nothing happened. nothing is good. Nov 13th, 2017 1842nd day - so far so good, i started to feel that i didn’t think about you the way i used too. Nov 14th, 2017 1843rd day - today, people nonchalantly ask where you at to me. i simply said i didn’t know. jeez, it’s not like i’m your manager. Nov 15th, 2017 1844th day - today i was surprised seeing you peeking thru class window, that’s mean you already in town, i also accidentally saw you in crowd but acted like i didn’t. luckily our eyes did’t meet. i was too tired of routines, felt like i could collapse anytime. maybe i should take day off tomorrow. suddenly you chat me on afternoon asking college stuff, i answered late and short. somehow we chat until night, the only question i asked was where you had been. but i fell asleep before saw you replied. Nov 16th, 2017 1845th day - checked the text, you said you had exam this morning, i simply said good luck with smiley. Nov 17th, 2017 1846th day - i took another day off, my period cramp felt worse the whole day. you commented on my post. Nov 18th, 2017 1847th day - I saw an announcement about a tournament in two weeks. you probably join this year too...luckily, i will be off town by the end of this month to my intern schedule. Nov 19th, 2017 1848th day - saw your post about practicing, guess it’s true. i went with my sisters this morning and update a lot. you happened to see my posts and said you want to join. slightly happy, until you said you can’t later...well whatever dude. Nov 20th, 2017 1849th day - i acted as if i didn’t aware about you, i tried not to be in the same space. and i thought you did too (?), because i was sure you saw me, but you didn’t say a thing. but gosh you were laughing annoyingly loud, making me aware that you were here. Nov 21st, 2017 1850th day - i didn’t go to campus today, somehow i miss you the whole day and also anxious about you didn’t greet me (like i did to you). tonight you text me asking for help tomorrow, as usual i replied shortly. Nov 22nd, 2017 1851st day - i helped you today, we speak as nothing’s happened. but yeah IT IS nothing that happened. we acted like before, we didn’t really avoid each other actually. Nov 23rd, 2017 1852nd day - went to your place today to collect my money, you seem not recognizing me because i use new helmet (?). didn’t get off from my ride. can’t looked at you properly. luckily my new helmet glass is dark enough so you can’t see through. ah, actually i planned to ask you to join me for a ride but it’s seems that you were busy. rest day sighing and imagining that today would be waaay better if you joined me. am i back to square one??. also, i saw the tournament IG, your team lost on the previous match, new jersey huh? new back number? wish your team didn’t get to the final so i don’t have to watch you as i did in the previous years. Nov 24th, 2017 1853rd day - i didn’t go to uni today. stalked that tournament IG, but no news about your team. you uploaded a video that i took of you playing. that’s already the second video. you barely upload yourself, and now you upload about you? playing??and two videos??in a row?? dude, were you showing off? to whom?.

Nov 25th, 2017 1854th day - today you upload THE THIRD video, but this one wasn’t the one that i took. sorry, hadn’t like any of your videos. i search the possibility of whom you tried to showing off to. remember the one that got you in trouble last 3 months? i couldn’t find them in your followers list. did you block each other?what happened?

Nov 26th, 2017 1855th day - your team lost again yesterday. ah, i saw a picture of you, somehow i noticed your torn shoes. may be you should buy a new one. ah i remember you said you want to buy it several months ago. should i buy it for you? what?! why the fuck i want spent money on pricey shoes??? moreover it isn’t for me?? but, you’ll look good in new shoes, hm... maybe orange or yellow will suit you...wait? what??? why the fuck, i’m not spending singgle penny for ya.

Nov 27th, 2017 1856th day - this damn IG hasn’t update anything about the game. so finally i ask you. you said you didn’t make it to final. somehow i feel a bit sorry and guilty too. and the torn shoes? turned out it’s not torn at all, it’s more like a gum stuck there. ah also, YOU UPLOADED THE FOURTH VIDEO, damn...

Nov 28th, 2017 1857th day - we planned to have a meeting today in afternoon. you asked me to eat ramen with you before the meeting and of course i said yes. i ordered the black broth as usual and you ordered the white one. we played stacko 2 times and end up draw.and then we went to the meeting place. i asked you and our friend to have a trip this weekend, you said you gonna slee in my place the night before the trips. wohooo~!

Nov 29th, 2017 1858th day - nothing much today, i didn’t went to anywhere.

Nov 30th, 2017 1859th day - i didn’t met you either today, gotta help my friend with her task.

                                          DECEMBER 2017

Dec 1st, 2017 1860th day - i went to you place this afternoon so we can buy things for our trip tomorrow. you gotta do college stuff and laundry first. that took some time and i accidentally took a nap in your place.  five past half finally we can leave your place. i wait outside cause i’m ready, suddenly when you went out i almost dropped my jaw cause you wear a fucking cute pink lipstick which is subtle but so damn cute it suit you so much. i was having a goose bump all the way to the mall. also you wear a new BACKPACK!! it was cute too. so fun grocery-shopping with you, especially when you threw those snacks and i gotta catch them with the basket, spent most off my money lol. we also got matching rubber bracelet. yay!. we went to my home past nine. searching to places for our trip until midnight cause we had no idea where to go. this is the first normal and anxious-free night when i sleep with you.

Dec 2nd, 2017 1861st day - woke up at 4 am, but too lazy to move and decided to have a quick sleep again, turns out i dream quite long dream about you (which is i forgot). woke up again at 5 am, it’s nice cooking in the morning with you, seems like too good too be true. then we took a bath, dressed and got ready for the trip. it was a nice trip, i’m glad this trip worked. if only i sat beside you. we went back to town on evening and you gotta do some college stuff, so we accompanied you. it was until 9.30 pm and i finally can went back home AND GUESS WHAT? you tag along and that mean TWO NIGHTS SLEEP OVER!! YOWOHOOHOOOO. i was so glad. you gave your rubber to my sis :(. i took it and gave mine instead, so i kept yours. again we stay up until midnight, you fell asleep in opposing the actual position. i tucked you in and decide to sleep according to your position.

Dec 3rd, 2017 1862nd day - you slept again in the morning, guess you were too tired from yesterday, me too actually. but i decided to watch movie, idk why. you slept in weird position again, bending your neck, that gonna hurt bad when you woke up. i pulled the pillow a bit to adjust your neck, but you woke up. i decided to sleep too and woke up in the middle of the day. we ordered ramens and chocolate drinks in the noon. i kept guessing when will you went back to your home, it wasn’t rain much tho.in the end you decided to sleep in my place again. fuck.i.was.too.happy. THIS WAS THREE DAY STREAKS!!!!! and ofc it was better than just two days sleep over. thanks God!!. i spent mostly time in front of my laptop cause i got work to do. you talk to my sis and mom and had fun with them. when it’s late, i laid in bed and suddenly fell asleep. this is the first night i slept first.

Dec 4th, 2017 1863rd day - woke up late. we rode you to your place and went to uni after. we left in hurry and you forgot your bottle in my place. about 10 pm you asked me to accompany you do college stuff in library, i guess we got a bit closer than before?? cause it’s rare for you to ask college-related stuff with me. it was fun tho.

Dec 5th, 2017 1864th day - i brought your bottle. and end up helping you again in lobby. was fun too, i hope we could do regular things like this together more often. :) Dec 6th, 2017  1865th day - i went to campus today, but didn’t get to see you. i saw your bike, you probably still doing stuff in library. Dec 7th, 2017 1866th day - printed something for your presentation, but its ends up canceled. we were ready tho, you asked me to play basketball with you this afternoon. i said, i can’t afford to ashamed myself in front of your team. you said it was ok, no body practice anw. turns out, boys played too. i just sat in corner watching you played with them. i didn’t get to play anything in the end. Dec 8th, 2017 1867th day - you asked me to help you with stuff again, but i got schedule on that time. i saw you got problem with your tools. i hope everything worked well. by the end of the day, i texted you about college. it was niiiiceeeeee, i want to have daily chat with you.

Dec 9th, 2017 1868th day - day off, i actually wanted to ask yo to hanging out today, but i got tons work to do.

Dec 9th, 2017 - Dec 15th, 2017 1868th - 1874th day - i was so busy and occupied the last week. i skipped one week updates. i couldn’t recall what happened each day. we did meet most days, but nothing’s special. all i could see in these days were we did more regular things together :)

Dec 16th, 2017 1875th day - you asked me to have a ride a bit after our schedule. i got plans, but ofc i also wanted to spend time with you. so i decided to do both. you accompanied me doing my plans, i accompanied you hanging out this afternoon. we spent time until like 9pm. you asked me again to accompany you swim tomorrow. at the end of the day you decided to spend the night in my place. yay!. Dec 17th, 2017 1876th day - woke up 6 am, you still sleeping.. why am i the one that excited for the swimming?? you didn’t wake up until 8, didn’t you the one that said we should go early? . 

[wrestlingisanime]

My Wrestle Kingdom 13 Mental Preparations

This Friday, I'm going to try to stay up and watch Wrestle Kingdom…this will be like the 3rd time I attempt to do this. Ever year around this time, I tell myself, "I'm finally going to start to get into watching New Japan regularly, starting with Wrestle Kingdom!" but it always falls through.

It's mainly the time difference that kills it for me. Even back when I didn't have a job and would regularly stay up until 6 AM, I couldn't sit still enough to watch the entirety of the show. I remember the first time I did this, I was doing laundry while watching some people dressed up like Doraemon dancing on stage or something. That's the only thing I remember about that show. 

Last year, I tried to stay up to watch it, but I had to go to work the next day, so I eventually went to bed. I remember waking up at 5 AM, getting ready for work and thinking, "I wonder who won between Jericho and Omega," and then finding out the show was still going on as I drove to work. I ended up downloading the show and watching Omega vs Jericho while waiting at the DMV to renew my license… 

Anyway, this year, I'm going to actually do it! I'm going to stay up and pay attention to the show! I have my New Japan World subscription ready. The show starts on a Friday, so I don't have to worry about getting up early for work the next day. I even plan on taking a nap Friday evening in an attempt to combat any sleepiness I might encounter staying up to some crazy hour!

Now, I will admit, I really don't follow New Japan that closely at all. I'm familiar with some of the names…Omega, Okada, Naito, Kota Ibushi, Tama Tonga… but I've never really watched their matches in full. I don't know much about any of the storylines going in. But, I think that it's important to broaden my knowledge and expand my horizons into the Japanese pro wrestling world, especially in my quest to compare wrestling and anime. I mean, Japanese wrestling is as close to live action anime as it gets, right?! 

So…I'm just going to ramble about the NJPW stuff I'm KIND OF familiar with in an attempt to prep myself for watching Wrestle Kingdom 13. So let's get started.

PRE-SHOW NO.1 CONTENDER GAUNTLET MATCH FOR NEVER OPENWEIGHT 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Togi Makabe, Toru Yano & Ryusuke Taguchi vs Yuji Nagat, Jeff Cobb & David Finlay vs Hirooki Goto, Beretta & Chuckie T vs Minoru Suzuki, Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr. vs  Hangman Page, Yujiro Takahashi & Marty Scurll

When I first looked at a match-up graphic of this match, I had no idea why there were so many people in a tag team match. I was confused about who was teaming with who, but I think I've figured it out.

I recognize a few names on this list, and I'm just going to detail what little I know about these wrestlers.

I've heard the name "Taguchi" said in a sexy Irish accent before…So this is the Ryusuke Taguchi that used to be buddies with Finn Balor/Prince Devitt. I don't know much more than that.

David Finlay sounds like he'd be the son of Fit Finlay…which apparently is the case! I don't know much about any of the Finlays except Fit was in one of the N64 AKI wrestling games.

Jeff Cobb, aka, the monster Mantza Cueto! I've seen him wrestle live as Matanza at the Impact/Lucha Underground show on Wrestlemania weekend last year. He's pretty freakin' good.

Chuckie T, I can only assume is that Chuck Taylor dude who was always the star of those Chikara videos I used to watch all the time, with him squealing like a little girl and yelling at children.

Marty Scurll is that "Villain" dude with the umbrella. He was a very popular wrestling cosplay at A-Kon last year. Lots of dudes with masks and umbrellas.

Hangman Page apparently killed Joey Ryan with a telephone and was haunted by cowboy boots. His original Bullet Club shirt was also a major inspiration for my Doki Doki Wrestling Club shirts, specifically Sayori's for obvious reasons…

Minoru Suzuki. I always hear how freakin' badass this dude is. Looking forward to see him wreck people.

I've heard some other names before, like Toru Yano, Yuji Nagata, and Davey Boy Smith…but I honestly don't know much about them. Hopefully that'll change soon! 

As for the "NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship" …well, I recently learned that the NEVER Openweight Championship is a title that isn't restricted by weight class. When I first looked at this card, I was very confused as how a 3-man team could compete to be a contender for a single title…but Wikipedia just now tells me that there is indeed a separate NEVER Tag Team Championship. That makes sense!

I still don't know what "NEVER" means. Apparently it's "New Blood," "Evolution," "Valiantly," "Eternal," and "Radical." Yeah, a bunch of random English words put together to form a nonsense acronym. Sounds pretty Japanese for sure. Reminds me of the notorious B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. organization…

1ST MATCH  60 MINUTES LIMIT NEVER OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Kota Ibushi vs Will Ospreay

I really hope this match isn't an hour long, but…

So, of course I'm familiar with Kota Ibushi! He's Kenny's Golden Lover and he's done a bunch of crazy cool DDT matches. I think he was also in the WWE Cruiserweight Classic. And he starred in a kaiju movie that I really want to watch.

I only know Will Ospreay from that anime-as-hell match he had with Ricochet a few years ago that Vader got really mad about (R.I.P.).

Anyway, they both seem like amazing wrestlers, so sounds like it'll be a sick match…even if it somehow does last an hour.

2ND MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP Jr. TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Yoshinobu Kanemaru & El Desperado vs Roppongi 3K vs BUSHI & Shingo Takagi 

Why can't these tag matches just have 2 teams!!!

I honestly don't know much about any of these people. I've heard the name "Roppongi 3K" before, and it's a cool sounding name, so that's cool. I also probably get "BUSHI" and Kota Ibushi confused sometimes.

Oh, and I guess I need to finally look up what "IWGP" stands for. Okay, so apparently it stands for "International Wrestling Grand Prix" which is the governing body of NJPW…what. I don't know what that means. I have never heard a human utter the words "International Wrestling Grand Prix" before…huh, weird. I'd rather they just call it the NJPW championship, but I guess there's a legacy there that they want to preserve, so that's fair. Also, weird title names seem to go hand-in-hand with Japanese wrestling anyway. 

3RD MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT BRITISH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Tomoiro Ishii vs Zack Sabre Jr.

I did not know that New Japan had a British Heavyweight Championship.

Like many Japanese wrestlers, I've heard the name Tomohiro Ishii mentioned in podcasts a lot, but I can't envision a specific person or match in my head. Sorry. :(

I don't know if I've seen Zack Sabre Jr. wrestle, either. I know he was in the WWE Cruiswerweight Classic, but that's it.

They're probably both really good, though, and very deserving of whatever this Japanese British championship is.

4TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Tanga Loa & Tama Tonga vs Sanada & EVIL vs The Young Bucks 

Seriously, do they just not have 2v2 tag matches in Japan?

I'm very familiar with Tama Tonga. He's that Bullet Club dude that used to have face paint that reminded me of the box art to Knights of the Old Republic 2. Much like I haven't played any KOTOR game, I don't think I've ever watched Tama Tonga actually wrestle. I know that he's done some goofy stuff on Twitter recently. Also, he's got a cool name that's fun to say: "Tama Tonga."

Speaking of cool names, who doesn't like the name "EVIL"? That name..it's just…so freaking good. I keep hoping there's an association with that one Sponge Bob episode, but probably not.

Also, the Young Bucks…yeah they're very popular, but, again, I don't think I've ever seen them wrestle. I just know that they superkick people a lot, they have streamers on their pants, and they're very good at selling merch. 

5TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP US HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Cody vs Juice Robinson

Obviously, I know who Cody is. He was that dude who used to be Stardust! …man, Stardust was cool. Stardust is literally THE reason I started watching wrestling again. It was a bummer to hear that Cody didn't like doing the character. He was so good at it, though.

I recently learned that Juice Robinson used to be CJ Parker in NXT. That was pretty mindblowing, because CJ Parker was one of the standout characters for me back when I first watched NXT. Apparently he's a good wrestler, too, so cool. 

Also, I'm almost tempted to ask why there's an IWGP US Championship…but I guess "I" in IWGP stands for "International." …but why isn't the British title the IWGP British Championship??? Looking that up now…oh, so the British Championship is actually the RPW British Heavyweight Championship owned by Revolution Pro Wrestling. Huh.

6TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP Jr. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

KUSHIDA vs Taiji Ishimori

I remember a long time ago, I watched some clips from an older (then recent) Wrestle Kingdom that featured a team called the Time Splitters, which I thought was cool because I like the video game TimeSplitters: Future Perfect. But also, I guess this was a time traveler wrestling gimmick, and that's cool, and I liked hearing the ring announcer go "TIIIIIIIME SPLTITERRRRRRRSSSSS." But that's not even it! They had a freakin' Back to the Future Delorean entrance. And then there was one that had a dude dressed as Doc Brown…and apparently that guy was Taguchi. Huh, weird.

So, I guess KUSHIDA was one of the Time Splitters, so that's cool. I don't if he's still a time traveler or not. I hope he is. 

As for Taiji Ishimori, he's the new "Bone Soldier," and I don't really know much about that, other than Captain New Japan used to be the Bone Soldier and everyone hated that one for some reason, but they like this new one. And Ishimori might be going to WWE? I don't know! 

Oh, I just realized that all these matches have a 60 minute time limit…

7TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT SPECIAL SINGLE MATCH

Kazuchika Okada vs Jay White

Of course I'm familiar with Okada. He's the Rainmaker! And then he turned into that guy with the balloons…I dunno, but he's in Yakuza 6, so that's cool!

Jay White is apparently the new leader of the Bullet Club. I used to think he was always part of the Bullet Club because I remember seeing Jay White Bullet Club shirts a while back…but apparently he wasn't actually in the Bullet Club until recently? I don't know! I just know that people used to call him "Knife Pervert" and I thought that was funny, so I used it in Doki Doki Wrestling Club.

8TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP NO DQ MATCH

Chris Jericho vs Testuya Naito 

Chris Jericho is a guy who wears a scarf and dresses like a mime or something. I don't know. 

I always thought Naito was cool. I like "Tranquilo" and the eyeball thing he does. There's also that super cute Naito teddy bear plush that I would really like to have one day. I once bought a Naito keychain from an anime con artist alley booth. Yeah, I like Naito, and apparently so does everyone else…except Chris Jericho, I guess.

9TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Kenny Omega vs Hiroshi Tanahashi

I first heard of Kenny Omega when people were sharing that clip of a grown dude wrestling a 9-year-old Japanese girl. I also learned that he was a huge nerd and spoke fluent Japanese. From my limited perspective, he didn't seem to blow up in popularity until he debuted as "The Cleaner" in the Bullet Club. Now he's like the most popular non-WWE wrestler in the world. I wasn't ever a super huge fan of Kenny, but he DID put Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon on his Top 10 video games list last year, so he's cool in my book. I wish he played fighting games other than Street Fighter, though…

As for Tanahashi, I remember on like my second attempt to stay up and watch Wrestle Kingdom, people kept saying that Tanahashi was the "John Cena of Japan." I'm assuming that's still true to this day. Honesty, that's all I know about Tanahashi, lol.

So, I assume Tanahashi is going to win and Kenny will finally have his rematch against a grown up Haruka!

And that's it!! That's all I know about Wrestle Kingdom 13. Hopefully I'll finally start to get into NJPW following this Wrestle Kingdom, because I honestly think Japanese puroresu knowledge is absolutely necessary in my campaign to prove that wrestling…is anime.

[forceyourway]

Tree of Life Shadow Work Challenge

Day Two: “What facet of my childhood have I overlooked or otherwise need to evaluate?”

(Using Loki’s tarot deck, “The Raven’s Prophecy Tarot”)

The Magician - A master of all they undertake, The Magician has extraordinary influence on the world. They’re versatile; they can shape things and bring them into being, alter them, and destroy them. As such, they are in a sense indomitable; they can take whatever the world throws at them and make it their own. I thought this would be Loki’s signifier, as I experience him very much in this way, but he ended up going for the Nine of Wands. I do maintain that he fits the description, and though it may not be is calling card, he is The Magician all the same. This may be about recognizing how he fits into my life, and/or about recognizing my own power and ability to control my destiny. Both, probably. Both is good.

My Childhood

Trace back your memories as far as you can. Try to overview your early life in as much detail as possible. Articulate or otherwise express how you experienced childhood as a whole. Heed to any areas of resistance you encounter. Note pivotal turning points or memories that stand out. Attempt to recall the first time you experienced emotions like sadness, anger, jealousy, anxiety, remorse, and contempt.

TW: abuse, child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, mental abuse, spiritual abuse, bullying, Christianity

It sucked, basically. My mom’s abusive, my dad’s abusive, my sister’s abusive, everyone’s abusive.

When I was young, I’m not sure how young, but before 3rd grade, my dad was setting off fireworks in the backyard. He’s still really into that. They’re illegal in my state, so a police car came by, and I think they were asking my dad questions. My babysitter took me and my sister and ran upstairs to hide. Maybe in a closet. I didn’t know what was going to happen and I was scared. That’s probably my first “fear” moment. That or walking in on my mom watching poltergeist, holy shit that was terrifying. I still can’t do scary movies, especially not supernatural ones. I had a crush on the boy who lived a few houses down. He was a few years older than me, and his sister was the babysitter mentioned above. Sometimes I hung out over at their house, playing Sonic and stuff. One day, he and his older brother staged some kind of ridiculous murder scene downstairs. They kept trying to get me down by bribing me with lollipops, but I kept refusing. I knew they were up to something. I don’t remember how I ended up going down - maybe just to get them to stop bugging me - but they played out this whole thing where there was a murderer in the house and he was slowly killing everyone. Ketchup and lemonade (to make their voice hoarse, as if they were choked) were involved. I knew the “blood” was ketchup and that everything was fake, but ended up getting really upset by the thought of my crush being murdered. That’s probably my first “anxiety/despair” moment.

We moved the summer before I started 3rd grade, I think, and stayed there for the entirety of my childhood.  I’m not sure when my parents started going at each other. I remember we went to Disney World, maybe when I was in 5th grade? and there was a good bit of screaming at each other then. I don’t remember it before; maybe I was too young to know. Regardless, Disney World is probably my happiest (childhood) memory.

In 5th grade, we went to a Catholic school. I was bullied by pretty much everyone, even my “best friend,” who ended up being a sort of nightmare. But otherwise, nothing too crazy.

When I was in 6th grade, my mom took me and my sister and ran off to another state (where our extended family is). No warning. One day we were just gone. I don’t remember how she explained that to us. We went to a Catholic school that had a serious Hive Mentality thing going on. They didn’t want me and my sister. Our teachers were horrible to us, and I kept ending up in situations where I looked very guilty but was in fact innocent and totally oblivious to what was going on. This is probably the start of “anger.” They wanted to expel me, but couldn’t come up with a reason why. My mom immediately started seeing other people, and my dad was furious. He’s of a very traditional mindset, marriage is forever, your duty is to your family, blah blah. So he did some e-mail hacking and ended up posing as an online therapist, who encouraged my mom to go back to him. She still doesn’t know.

That’s about when shit started getting really bad. He would scream til he was purple about how awful she was, pretty much all hours, pretty much every day, I think. Anti-women slurs everywhere. When me or my sister displeased him, he’d turn it on us. Even casual conversation with him was somehow linked back to our mother “ruining our lives.” At some point there was family therapy, which was an absolute disaster. They said I was “Obsessive Defiant.” I guess “abused” was never even a consideration. He’d start screaming “Defiance!” at me if I didn’t do a thing fast enough, like, “Pass the butter. Defiance!!!” like shit give me a second. My mom I guess blamed us for our dad’s BS and was always on about how we’re ruining her life and how I’m some kind of evil devil child and I’d have nightmares all the time about burning in hell.

The second half of 6th grade I went back into public school, and basically went right to my closest friends from public-elementary-school, who were The Losers. No one else remembered me, so going straight for The Losers pretty much instantly made me one of them. Probably the most, like, “establishing character moment” in my life, and the first "fuck you” at the world moment. Like I was starting to realize what behaviour was not acceptable among people (after fucking up a whole lot first, courtesy of my parents), and pretty much took a hard stand against bullshit, and recognizing my friends being The Losers was messed up. I got bullied. One girl beat the shit out of me once. My dad picked me up from a sleepover at her house, and blamed me for it. Obviously I must have deserved it, or something.

My sister was a weird aggressive child who physically grew up too fast, if you get me. She was always jealous that I got along so well with our cousin (she was like in-between us, age-wise), and her favorite game was Beat Up. It’s exactly what it sounds like, with me as the target. People don’t take notice because she’s younger than me - a good bit younger - but damn if she wasn’t bigger/stronger than me, like. There’s more, but I won’t type that on here. I don’t talk about that.

High school there was more persistent bullying, but never physical. Only the one time ever was. In 9th grade it got to the point where I just stopped talking. I’d talk to like 1 person, and at home because god, can you imagine what would have happened if I went silent at home. “Defiance!!11!1″ I think in 10th it got better. I kind of acquired friends because my (new) best friend was friends with a bunch of people, and I was always hanging out with her. We’re all still friends now. I guess.

No one knew about my family’s issues. Not my friends, anyway. One of my sister’s friends found out once after kind of witnessing my dad beat the shit out of me because I refused to go swimming at the river (I was on my period, dude). He was screaming about how I was destroying the family or something??? I provoked him into hitting me, so he smacked the shit out of me. The poor girl was apparently smacked around herself, because she didn’t take seeing this well at all. I remember my dad was going to drive me to school for my senior picture, and I was tying my shoelaces and clearing my throat. You know how your voice kind of catches in your throat? For some reason he assumed this was me throwing a fit about him not “getting ready fast enough”??? and he started with the usual screaming. I said fine, I’ll walk, not wanting to really ride with that anyway. I get about halfway there, and he’s in the car hanging out the window, purple-red, screaming about how if I don’t get in the car he’ll drag me in, and my mother, my mother, it’s all her fault, I’m just like her. I tried sitting in the back. Wrong choice. He screamed in my face the whole way there. I was crying hysterically at school, but trying to hide it. People who hated me were asking me what was wrong. None of my friends were there. I was trying not to burst into tears literally as they were taking my picture.

It was bad. My childhood was bad. Bad all over. Not sure what you’re looking for here, really.

[cosmic-m-b]

For the sake of transparency, I'm about to get REALLY personal. This is really for myself, so no one really needs to read any further. (But you can if you want.) I'm going to talk about my life (mostly my formative years) and why I identify as bisexual and the things that I think should have given me an indication of my sexuality.

I am going go try to put it in chronological order, so here we go:

When I was in kindergarten (age 5) I only had girl friends, but I still remember having a crush on a boy in class. I still remember his name.

First grade (age 6) I got a boyfriend. I broke up with him because he asked me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY., "Are you still my girlfriend?" So I dropped him like a hot potato. (Sorry, dude.)

2nd and 3rd grade (ages 7 and 8), new school, I was bullied a lot, but one of the things I remember was when the girls I wanted to be friends with, who I thought were super cool (spoiler alert: they were mean), called me, "gay." I had never heard the word before, so I asked my mom and said it meant "happy," so I went back to school and told them so and they just looked at me like I was crazy. I didn't have a good experience in 2nd and 3rd grade.

4th grade (age 9), new school again, I had one guy friend that I played with every day. Until I professed my undying love to him (not really but pretty much) and he dropped ME like a hot potato. I was kind of heartbroken because I had only be hanging out with him at that point, so my girl friends kind of moved on without me.

5th grade (age 10), new school again, I had a crush on a dude, but that one really feels like I just kind of... picked him? Randomly? Like, "this guy is worthy of my attention." I never actually made any effort to talk to him. I had a rivalry with the girl who sat next to me, but I seem to have blocked that from my memory so I won't go further on it, but I did have two close girl friends. I, personally, hadn't really started puberty yet. I stayed the night a lot with one friend and I remember one time her cousin was also there and she decided we were going to take a bath together. Naked. I was nervous about it, but I didn't want to seem like a dweeb, so I went with it. They had already started puberty. Tbh we all looked like that diagram from the sex ed books. Progression from girlhood to womanhood. I was girlhood. 😂 The others were slightly... farther along than I was, but then they were also a little older than me. (Only one or two years.) I never told anyone this happened. (Until now.)

Middle school (ages 11-13), another new school. Around this time, I started puberty, and I found myself looking at other women. I remember clearly just wanting to look like them, for puberty to come and give me breasts and for my period to start. I didn't know about the existence of gay people until 7th grade, I think. It sounded gross to me. Like, why would guys like guys? And I didn't hear the word "lesbian" until way later. A friend told me, though, that she was bisexual. I didn't get it, but I also didn't question it. I had never heard the negative stereotypes, so I didn't care if someone was bi. I befriended a guy who had a feminine voice, but insisted he wasn't gay. There were a lot of rumors about that, but he was my friend, so I believed whatever he told me. At that time, my best friend was a girl who I will call G. (For context, this was all happening at the height of Disney Channel.) I started talking to her in gym class at the beginning of 7th grade because, to me, she looked like Gabriela from High School Musical. A lot of people thought so, apparently. Lol But we became friends. She became the only person I spent any time with. The people who I was friends with in 6th grade fell to the wayside. A few of them stayed around, but for the most part, I abandoned them. She and I spent a lot of time together, but her parents were strict. She wasn't allowed over at my house, but I could go over to hers. For a year we bonded over our love of Hannah Montana and Avril Lavigne. I distinctly remember wanting to kiss her on the cheek. I told myself for years that it was because she was like a sister to me. I kiss my sisters on the cheek all the time. Anyway, at the beginning of 8th grade, something changed. I had cut my hair to a pixie cut near the end of 7th grade (because my grandma botched a bob that I asked her to give me. That was the last time I asked her for a haircut.) My hair started growing out and I was able to put part of it in a ponytail. She told me that I looked like a cancer patient. She started looking for reasons to put me down, to push me away. She told people embarrassing secrets. She made fun of the things I liked. But I was very attached. It took someone else telling me that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore to get me to leave her alone. That was when I became very depressed. I had no friends. Any friends that I made with or through her, dropped me. My friends from before her had already moved on and while I tried to reconnect with them, it was so awkward and felt forced. Anyway, after middle school we moved again. I dated a guy for a month in 9th grade, but I had wanted to break up after two weeks. I was just a chicken and didn’t want to hurt him. So I let it go on, even though it gave me anxiety to think about staying with him. I blamed it on liking another guy, and told him so. (I now know that that probably made it a lot harder on him. The other guy never would have dated me, but it seemed like the logical thing to do at the time.) I was almost-dating a guy for two years while he served a mission for my church, but he dropped me because I was under 18 when he got back and he was 21. (I was 17.) No one else I talked to/crushed on really mattered. I didn’t let myself get close to anyone because of how I had been hurt before. Throughout this time, even up until recently (hence my realization that I’m bisexual), there were little things which I would find a heterosexual reason for. (I am not including anything that indicated an attraction to men, just women.)  For example: - Even after going through puberty and getting breasts of my own, I continued to find my eyes wandering towards the breasts of my friends, people around me, people on TV. I just thought it was a residual habit from before. I would comment on models’ state of undress and say things like, “If it distracts me, a straight girl, then you know it’s bad!” *looks at camera pointedly* - It blows my mind that someone can look at a hot woman and not be sexually aroused. Like, I legitimately thought that when a person moves/dances/dresses sexily, regardless of gender presentation, anyone would be aroused. - I stopped allowing myself to watch love scenes of any kind because I was told that pornography constituted anything that is sexually arousing. I began to see love scenes, regardless of the gender presentations of the couples, as “equally bad” from a moral standpoint. I couldn’t understand why my roommates took issue with there being a lesbian couple in PLL, but didn’t have a problem watching a straight couple going at it.  - I find myself looking at female friends’ butts. Like... all the time.  - I have always been better at making friends with girls/women than with guys/men. I still have trouble letting myself be attracted to women because of internalized homophobia. I feel like I’m being predatory or inappropriate. I worry that I will somehow make them feel uncomfortable.  Anyway, if you read through all of this, you now know more about me than a lot of people. Also, I would appreciate any amount of encouragement/validation so I don’t feel like a total weenie. Even with all of this, I worry that I’m faking it. Feel free to comment directly on the post or message me, if we’re mutuals. :P 

[leagueofawesomedudes]

Week 9 Preview

Well fellas, we’re officially entering in to the second half of the NFL season and I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am exhausted. I think it’s a combination of the 3 AM Free Agency wake up calls and this past Halloween weekend where the majority of us were either blacked out or rolling tits from Friday 9pm until we went to work on Monday morning (except for Chad, who had to use some PTO because he’s such a beta nowadays.) Anyways, since we’re at the halfway point of the season and since TJ didn’t want to issue his personal (pointless?) mid-szn power rankings, I figured I would take this time to at least revisit his initial pre-szn rankings and see what he got right and what he got wrong as of the current mid-szn standings. I mainly wanted to do this because the matchups aren’t overly exciting this week with lots of teams on bye and since nobody is really beefing with each other currently (minus the entire city of Cleveland against the Browns organization). Don’t worry, I’ll eventually get into the matchups/predictions, but strap in because this is going to be a long one - I took work off to do this.

Grading the Caito Rankings - Preseason Edition

To refresh everyone’s memories Tj categorized us into 3 different sections (wow what a fucking racist) dynasties, wild cards and tankers. I am not going to rerank everyone because the standings speak for themselves (duh). I am just going to grade Tj’s original predictive categories.

Dynasties:

Holla’s Heavy Hitters - Wow, right off the bat and Tj couldn’t have been further from being correct as the heavy hitters are currently sitting in last place (tied) with a 2-6 record. Grant it, he has the third most points scored against him, so maybe attribute his poor record to bad matchup luck. Holla will need to climb the leaderboard as high as his friends were Saturday night in order to reach the playoffs. 

2. Crow’s Before Hoes - With all of the trades Pauly has made he has definitely solidified himself as a top contender this year (despite losing his leader Watson for the rest of the season a few hours ago) and has claimed his rightful throne as the LOAD’s 2017 official Trade Guy. 

3. Julio Tones - Tj bet on himself as being one of the top dawgs this year and he has proven it to be true. He’s also probably going to be super pissed after he sees that I am doing all of this, but content is king. People would’ve read your rankings no matter what their preconceived notions were about them ;)....Anyways zeke is spinning right back into that 6 game suspension so let’s see how your squad holds up without everyone’s favorite bucknut.

4. 2 Gurleys 1 Cup - Sam is a perennial contender so this was an obvious pick, however with this past weekend’s rape allegations and with his recent outlandish drug intakes during OU’s Homecoming and Halloween in Cle should he be considered for a 6 game suspension just as much as Tj’s top player? LOAD Presidente will need to address this.... #LockHimUp.

Wild Cards:

5.  Jon SnOBJs - Chad is and will always be a wild card, on and off the court. Just look at some of these pics from last weekend:

6. Little Diggs - Tj underestimated my powers like Obi Wan underestimated Anakin’s. But in this ending, Anakin (Little Diggs) will slay down Obi Wan (Julio Tones) in the duel on Mustafar (fantasy championship) altering the fantasy landscape forever.

 Tankers

7. The Injured Reserve - Casey’s more of a wild card currently sitting in at 4th place, but that David Johnson injury will most likely crawl back to hurt him just like his piss crawls down everyones couches.

8. Ain’t EZ Bein Breesy - Solden’s definitely trying, I’ll give him that. But maybe a little too much time has been focused on Mel instead of his lineup?

9.  The Brady Bunch - Tj thought this was one of the worst rosters drafted and looking at Doug’s starting lineup it’s actually solid all around. He has mitigated his risk by diversifying in all different sectors and taking long and short positions all at the correct time. Dude manages his roster just like his....wait for it.....401k plan. Nice.

10. G-reg 3rd leg - Bingo. Tj thought this was the worst roster in the beginning of the season and so far it has performed that way. Even though Watson just went down today, I bet if Bennet would’ve picked up Waston instead of the guy who likes to kiss titties in his mom’s mini van he would have a better record.

But it doesn’t really matter because the rest of the his roster kinda looks like this:

Alright Tj hasn’t done that bad so far, couple big misses, couple spot on hits. Maybe he can do a year end recap before he retires from fantasy at the end of the season.....Anyways, on to the week 9 matchups:

Ain’t EZ Bein Breesy (3-5; 8th place) vs. The Brady Bunch (4-4; 6th place)

The craziest trade deadline in the history of the NFL just passed and somehow three of the biggest names involved were both on Doug’s team. No way Doug has ever been apart of something more wild. Kelvin Benjamin and Jay Ajayi on their new teams will look to add some extra firepower to Doug’s already well balanced team. Who’s the third name you might ask? Doug scooped up the second coming of Christ AKA Flash Gordon to make his roster for more lit, literally.  The only way Solden can win this one is if he steals Doug’s phone, benches all of his players and then slips some ecstacy in Doug’s drink and hopes he ends up on the Shoreway towards Lakewood Sunday morning before he can get a chance to set his lineup. If not, then Doug wins this easily.

Rachel’s Boyfriend > Mel’s Boyfriend  

Holla’s Heavy Hitters (2-6; 9th place) vs. Julio Tones (6-2; 1st place - allegedly)

I won’t spend much time on this one as Tony’s first place squad should easily handle Holla’s last, especially after Hopkins just lost Watson. However, who would have thought that Holla would’ve turned down doing X with all of his friends and that TJ would be the one rolling face in a gaylord focker nurse’s costume at an EDM concert? Hopefully TJ isn’t letting this whole first place thing get to his head though and starts getting out of control like Manziel did after winning the Heisman....I mean a totally new and ridiculous haircut/mustache, a serious girlfriend, "running” in marathons and oh here’s a new one...being shady to paul:

Not caring about Paul? Wow, careful Teej, Uncle Ben once said, “with great power comes great responsibility”... Tread lightly with that first place title...

Gaylord Focker > Holla

2 Gurleys 1 Cup (5-3; 3rd place) vs. The Injured Reserve (5-3; 4th place)

Sam’s a fucking rapist. 

Casey > Rapey

Little Diggs (6-2; 2nd place) vs. Jon SnOBJs (3-5; 7th place)

Putting past performances aside, I think this week’s matchup between Chad and I will actually turn out to be extremely close. 3 of my usual starters are on bye and the rest are in shit matchups. I think in order for me to pull this one out I’m going to need Chad to pull one of these on Sunday morning and forget to set his lineup:

Passed out in 425′s lobby at 8 am.....what a fucking rookie....

PFT > Big Cat

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK:

G-reg 3rg leg (2-6; 10th place) vs. Crows before Hoes (4-4; 5th place)

I am not sure this should actually be the matchup of the week based on both rosters, but it will definitely be the one that everyone has their eyes on due to the big shakeup that happened today. Deshaun “Better Than Mitch” Watson tore his ACL on a non-contact injury late this afternoon and man will that injury change the landscape across the NFL and Fantasy worlds alike. Not only did pauly lose his leader, but he just traded for Deshaun’s best deep threat in Will Fuller. Didn’t you learn anything from all those years at OU hanging with Doug? Never put all your eggs in one basket...Diversify, Diversify, Diversify. However I think the 2 happiest people in regards to the Watson injury, were the browns analytics department and Matthew the Snowman Bennett. This dude HATES black quarterbacks. He says it’s because of historical trends and that none of them have ever been more than a flash in the pan (dude russell wilson?), but maybe it’s because the Snowman knows no other color besides white ; )

Anyways, if Paul decides to accept one of my trades or at the very least picks up another QB (might I suggest CJ Beathard because that last name is fucking gold) he should be able to pull this one out.

Little Guy > Big Guy

Alright men that is it for Little DIggs this week. Hopefully you all enjoyed. Remember to keep taking that vitamin C and pushing those fluids, the weekend begins tomorrow.

Peace and Good Luck, 

Dom

[congalineofpeace]

So we went to do arena stuff...

So initiation is like this: you fight monsters and don’t actually kill people in the arena. This place used to be a no trespassing zone, but Pal-Oice opened it back up for us and boy does it smell bad.  L(° O °L)

We just went downstairs and there’s more ugly green goo, weird big rocks I just wanna punch, and then there’s just our enemy summoner that the other’s haven’t seen. 

First thing was first- Oha said “Well, welcome everyone to our eleventh arena!”

And like, Khai was like "What happened to 1 through 10.”

Well...

Arena 1 got burned down by Flor - like. Everything. She was just going to do a spell she learned from this ancient scroll and BLAM - like that it was gone!

The 2nd and 3rd Arenas was okay for awhile, just broke down due to old age and Dacodix punching the enemy summoner and accidentally created an anomaly in them. We don’t go there anymore.

4th one, I just think Oliver turned it into an engineering place. But then, the 5th one was EATEN. I’m not kidding! Fheifhei got this weird bug and just nommed on EVERYTHING- and now there’s still a hole in the ground. It’s a pretty cool lava Jacuzzi though. 

Not sure what happened with the rest with the exception of us continuously ruining the enemy summoner. Always we’d mess up the summoning symbol somehow - either by messing up paint stuff or just erasing it and stuff and those stuffs are costly to make according to Bob. 

Ahhh, anyway. Because of this we had to put the symbol in a skull that spawned enemies. Once everyone was ready, Oha summoned the monster: a massive ooze-water demon thingy. It just glared at us. 

At first it didn’t do anything, just ... looked at us, but then it started moving. Khai strikes it first - hitting the monster with a bow and arrow! It legit just wailed in pain and spat at Khai - that thing was a savage.

And then,  as Khai continues fighting it, he wins, though he got hurt along the way! 

Or... So we thought. You see, inside the ooze was a necromancer that was in there, and EMERGED FROM IT. Oha started freaking out, calling it a TRASH summon. I couldn’t believe it- but ... we all had to fight. I mean, the dude legit said “Death to Tawn!” 

Then outta nowhere a cat shows up - she’s Faith. Was pretty so it was time to become a hero-

Anosa quickly begins to use a spell on the dudu - something with a ray and ice - oh. Ray of frost, there we go. Khai then used his bow again, but it just pissed off the person more than it wounded him. Torrath saw this, and used the chance to swipe at ‘em with her claws! Tsyrei tried to do something, but she had no arms. So she began to sing a song of healing to Khai. 

The necromancer was not having it, and lashed out at Torrath with a blade - to which Dacodix began to throw her iconic 3-hit combo with her fists! They just... kinda stared and smiled weirdly to her. I’d be freaked out if I were her. 

Maywhitter casts a barrier, and then I... well... I spat the thing. 

Truly, my spit freaked that thing out which is why Anosa was able to freeze the necromancer with a spell like a boss! Dacodix was like “They ruined such a fun arena.” but man, we never did something like this. It was lame slimes and skeletons or spiders - never a necromancer from people who believe they’re gods and is all evil and stuff. Woah. 

Torrath did her swiping claw move, and Tsyrei tripped. Dacodix continued punching, Maywhitter hid behind Khai, and then ME, THE BEST PERSON EVER, 

I ACCIDENTALLY MADE A FIREBALL WITH MY SPITTTTT!!!!

On that day, I was known as *that guy*, *that guy who spits fiya powaaaa*, you don’t understand how amazing it was. It just felt like I burped and - nope! It was fire!

Anosa does a spell to disrupt the undead, and Khai takes out a ...uhh... A gun. Yep. That was a gun. He legit just shoots it and blam - the necromancer falls on the bridge, plops herself on the blade, and whooooooooshhhh into the water she goes. 

Oha was so proud, Anosa got a blade, there was a buuuuunch of loot from this - but... Then there was something odd. It was an image that looked like some old dude, but... The more I looked at it, I realized it was back when V’lduvast was a dilf and not some old angel living in a pub. He wrote “forgive me” on the bottom - or at least, I think it was his handwriting? 

When Oha looked at the note, he thought for a second V’lduvast got turned into the evil necro, but thankfully because there wasn’t a scar on his left calf, it wasn’t our guy.

Everyone began talking about grown up stuff, and when everyone was gonna go upstairs I was held back by Oha. After everyone left, he just asked me this:

“Do you really not remember any of this? Especially of our founder?”

I nodded my head and replied as best as I could: I genuinely don’t remember a thing. He tried to explain stuff after, but... I was just so excited that I could spit fire that I kinda denied anything he was saying. 

Anyway... I should go talk to Oha again. The others left to find DOe3t, the cutest giant robot you would ever see! Foh out~