#dude ur a CAT stop

[tippyinmyteacups]

He's my man, we're hand in hand, to hell and back and I love him like nobody else can.

Edit: sorry I was so freaked out about the spider um so

Song is He's my man by luvcat

Also this was awhile ago and I wasn't that good at drawing Ford yet (still not great) pls don't look at his face 😞

[madwickedawesome]

every day i log onto tumblr and pray i have a hater

[kaninka]

theres a new tomcat in my yard and hes scaring the SHIT out of the local cat residents >:/

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie headcanons

warnings: yo no se

content : streamer!ellie headcanons 🔥🔥

authors note : the streets r calling and they’re telling me to write streamer ellie hcs….

- def started off as a faceless streamer. she wasn’t really comfortable on camera, and she just thought it would be way easier. you can only see her shoulders-down leaving her (deliciosu. scrumptious. yummy) arms in the cameras view.

- her twitch user is “creeperewman” cuz shes like…discreetly hiding her initials and referencing the best minecraft parody ever 😕!!!

- bought the most random shitty mic and webcam and started streaming 🔥🔥 she never got rid of either of them its part of her odd loser charm

“‘fartmaster69:it’s probably cuz your camera’ it’s probably bc of YOUR CAMERA!!! theres nothing wrong w my camera bro 😞”

“don’t listen to them…ur perfect 🤫 IM NOT TALKING TO U GUYS IM TALKING TO MY CAMERA”

- only had a few viewers the first couple times she streamed, and it was some random 10 yr old who kept spamming “yassss” in the chat and some dude who said she was shit at minecraft 😞 he was LYING

- started off doing minecraft speed runs (or trying to) and got like way good over time

- she randomly started getting more and more viewers, because people kept posting abt her and calling her fine on tiktok , making edits of her hands and her voice 😭😭 (real)

- as she got more and more viewers, she started branching out more with the games she’d play. def loves shooter games like cod and pubg, but she’d also play like indie horror games like faith (omg markiplier fans would know)

- she has a orange cat she named garfield (cuz…of course she does) and he’s always sitting on her lap during her streams or messing w her setup 💔💔

- def put stickers all over her headset and showed them off all proud on stream

- designed her own cute banners and stuff for streams 😞!!!

- def had a subreddit/disc server with her viewers where she’d let them give her game recs or make memes of her

- ppl saw her guitar in the back of her streams and BEGGED HER to play it and she had her own lil concert stream !!! she was so freaking nervous and messed up a bunch the first like minute or two but like after that she was in the ZONE

“‘ewswife: i wish i was that guitar’ oh!! you guys are so…kind!!!”

- when she INSANELY hit 1k, she did a face reveal and she hit 10k the same day 😦 the amount of edits that ppl made was actually insane. ESP ONES MAKING FUN OF DREAMS FACE REVEALLLL

- started doing much more random shit on stream after she got more famous. she LOVES cooking on stream, and she’d start reacting to random shit ppl sent her on the subreddit

- she cut her hair on stream once, and everyone in the chat kept spamming “yo bob…is fye” for like 5 minutes 😪

- “you’re at work watching me? i hope you get fired. i mean. i hope you don’t get fired 😞”

- she gets so many thirst comments and like…is terrible at responding to them

“‘ewleftbicep: you look so vulnerable today’ WHAT”

- she has her own apartment cuz of her awesome streaming money 🔥🔥🔥 soundproofed walls too cuz she’s. loud.

- one day, you were walking on campus to a class. you had your headphones on, listening to your main playlist on shuffle, when you got stopped by someone. you pulled your headphones off your ears and gave the man in front of you a confused look. you looked down to his hands, holding a tiny mic, and another dude holding a camera.

“what song are you listening to?” he held the microphone towards you, awaiting your response.

you quickly responded “uhm, last goodbye, by jeff buckley.” and stood there awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.

the man quickly thanked you and you walked away, slightly suprised.

- after a couple hours, the video had blown up and the comments were filled with people complimenting you.

pickleluna: jeff buckley girl is so fine

minyonlala: 3rd girl is so bad

rilakkila: I NEED JEFF BUCKLEY GIRL

and unknown to you, someone else found you on their fyp.

creeperewman: guys what is the 3rd girls @. im literally BEGGING BRO PLEASEEE

- ewleftbicep: BEING DESPERATE ON MAIN IS CRAZY

- ewsgirlf: random tiktok girl stole my wife 💔

- elliewilliamsidechick: guys im literally the 3rd girl 😂😂😂

- it didn’t take long for your phone to be blown up with people sending you the video, tagging you in funny comments, and finding your instagram. you watched the video, and saw ellie was the top comment. you checked her profile, and saw how FINE she was, and immediately responded

- y/nmainn: guys 😳😳😳 what if i was the third girl 😳😳

- ellie checked her phone and saw thousands of people tagging your comment, and she wasted zero time following you on tiktok. and your instagram. its not stalking if its in your bio, right?

- you two immediately hit it off, and ellie loved the fact that you had absolutely no idea who she was. to you, she was just some hot girl. not some famous streamer you were obsessed with.

- she didn’t even realize you two went to the same school until she saw you in her astrophysics class one day, and she almost had a heart attack when you waved at her and walked over to sit next to her.

“what a coincidence.”

- she took you out on your first date to a planetarium, and not even a week after, asked you to be her girlfriend.

- she definitely teaches you how to play her favorite games. but she gets wayyyy defensive when you beat her.

“im just letting you win.”

“beginners luck.”

but shes SO COCKY when she beats you

“hey, don’t be so hard on yourself after this. not your fault im a professional!”

“aw, maybe one day you’ll be as good as me”

- definitely helps you build your own pc.

- loves watching you play things like animal crossing or stardew valley, always lays on your shoulder while you’re on the couch.

“why are you being so mean to gaston :((“

“because hes UGLY and he has an ugly house and he’s ruining my village.”

“wowww you’re bullying a little bunny man because he doesn’t fit your aesthetic 😒 so mean”

- if you like more aggressive games like cod, she loves listening to you talk shit while you play and always makes fun of people with you. (she thinks its hot when you’re mean to people)

- her chat absolutely loves you, and every time you stream together its a continuous stream of “me and who” and “when is it my turn 😪”

[https-milo]

hihiiiiii i just did the part two to monomas, and a dating bakugo <33 tysm for the request!!

(my dumbass posted this before it was done so I js took a screenie of the request </3)

DATING DENKI KAMINARI INSTAGRAM!

details!

instagram posts w/ comments while dating Denki Kaminari!

a/n OBVIOUSLY these are just pictures off of pinterest, reader can be however you imagine!

main m. list / instagram m. list

losercorey/n · 15w

15.9k likes Liked by pika.pikami

losercorey/n all I want in life </333

pika.pikami tbh this is my DREAM. s/v was kinda mid though, but it might be more fun if I play it with you ;) losercorey/n pika.pikami HOLY SHIT I JUST HCECKED YOUR PROFILE YOU A BADDIEEEE. i mean *cough cough* uh yeah sure dude, wtv... pika.pikami losercorey/n dms? losercorey/n pika.pikami dms!! <333

leagueofshig theres no way you pulled through this post... losercorey/n leagueofshig oomfieeee go past to shit posting your League of Legends memes 👎👎

no1allmightfanboy my classmate kinda looks like pikachu!! (if you squint) pika.pikami no1allmightfanboy ...midoriya? no1allmightfanboy pika.pikami ah. losercorey/n no1allmightfanboy WHAT KIND OF MOOT ARE YOU TO KEEP A BADDIE LIKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!?!?! no1allmightfanboy losercorey/n I DIDNT KNOW IF HE WAS YOUR TYPE.

pika.pikami · 13w

807 likes Liked by losercorey/n, izuku.mido, sharkbitekiri, kingexplosion

pika.pikami after two weeks of planning and getting to know each other, y/n finally came over and watched pokemon with me B))

Tagged: losercorey/n

losercorey/n IT WAS SO MUCH FUNNNN!! im so glad you aren't a creepy old man!! pika.pikami losercorey/n i thought our facetimes would prove that enough. you kept calling me to "double check" losercorey/n pika.pikami maybe I just wanted to talk to you :D pika.pikami losercorey/n FIVBIELSBGLIBUDVLlkAJNA;N;IFUBEIBBI;UIUB I mean *cough cough* cool. cooooollllllll losercorey/n pika.pikami want another date? pika.pikami losercorey/n PLEASEEEEEEEE losercorey/n pika.pikami OKAY!! :DDDDD

sharkbitekiri OHHHH THIS IS THE GIRL YOU WOULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT serophane sharkbitekiri remember that one time kaminari saved my cat from a burning building? losercorey/n sharkbitekiri serophane dudeeee remember when he stopped traffic just to save a squirrel from getting ran over!! losercorey/n losercorey/n sharkbitekiri I already fw him, no need to be a wingman <3 (heart directed at denki, NOT whoever sharkbitekiri is) pika.pikami losercorey/n geeking out rn <333

kingexplosion ofc dunceface fell for a meme acc pika.pikami kingexplosion j-j-j-j-jealousyyyy 📢📢 kingexplosion pika.pikami im going to kill you.

losercorey/n · 12w

13.3k likes Liked by pika.pikami, leagueofshig, no1allmightfanboy

losercorey/n rare IRL post!! we played minecraft for 7 hours and just HAD to get these to commemorate it!!

Tagged: pika.pikami

pika.pikami itd be a crime if we didn't get those, I fear losercorey/n pika.pikami absolutely right, denks o7

leagueofshig awww hell nahhhhhhhhhh losercorey/n leagueofshig GO BACK TO BRAINROTTING ON LEAGUE WITH SPIN! leagueofshig losercorey/n was gonna invite you to play with us tbh :/ losercorey/n leagueofshig i'll be on at midnight 🙄

no1allmightfanboy kaminari hasnt stopped talking about youuuu losercorey/n no1allmightfanboy you should've introduced us soonerrrr

funny.memes.4u DAMNNNN YOU A BADDIE. can i get ur snap ;) losercorey/n funny.memes.4u do you, perchance, lack the ability to see... I'm literally with the guy I'm going on dates with in that picture

pika.pikami · 10w

901 likes Liked by izuku.mido, losercorey/n, sharkbitekiri, serophane

pika.pikami sliding down slides just like I slid in those dms 5 weeks ago 😈😈

losercorey/n i wanna kiss you violently. pika.pikami losercorey/n WHAT. WHY DID YOU SAY THIS AFTER WE HUNG OUT ALREADY. losercorey/n pika.pikami YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS pika.pikami losercorey/n YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS! I WAS SWEATING SO MUCH WHEN WE HUNG OUT. losercorey/n pika.pikami COME TO MY HOUSE AND ASK ME OUT! pika.pikami losercorey/n MAAM YES MAAM o77

sharkbitekiri why did I just see kaminari run into a pole serophane sharkbitekiri hes asking y/n out rn sharkbitekiri serophane oh okay sharkbitekiri serophane WAIT WHAT.

losercorey/n · 8w

19.7k likes Liked by pika.pikami, leagueofshig, sharkbitekiri, serophane, no1allmightfanboy

losercorey/n just a little kith to my bf :3

Tagged: pika.pikami

pika.pikami MOREMOREMOREMORMEOMREOMOREMROEMO losercorey/n pika.pikami YOU HAVE SCHOOL TMMR. GTSSSS pika.pikami losercorey/n you ☹️☹️ hate ☹️☹️ me ☹️☹️ losercorey/n pika.pikami nuh uh. you just live 20 minutes away by train and its already 10 pm. You've gotta sleep to be a super strong hero :DD pika.pikami losercorey/n I'm geeking. I cant wait to see you tmmr :DD losercorey/n pika.pikami ME TOO!! and then you can get all the kisses you want <3

sharkbitekiri AWWWWW KAMINARI WON DUDE. serophane sharkbitekiri NO LITERALLY.

© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!

Thank you so much for reading <3

tell me kaminari isnt the type to fall in love with a meme acc on insta

[princessbrunette]

the rafe/bunny reader discussion made me remember my obsession with jj/kitten reader

scratched back, kitten licking, cuddles, high energy for adventures, napping on him, sitting on his face...

having him pulling you around/manhandling you despite ur fierce attitude like ur the lightest thing ever

constantly bitting him and pushing his limits until hes had enough and needs to reprimand you!

₊🐈‍⬛˚ʚ 🥛₊˚🎀°˖ 🤍｡˚

being at a party with jj, and he can feel that little catty attitude of yours setting in simply because you were tired. all the telltale signs are there, squinting in a glare what you think is intimidatingly at anyone who talks to your boyfriend, digging your claws— sorry, nails beneath jj’s muscle tee when he’s not giving you enough attention, and now— you were resulting in biting his bicep that was wrapped around your neck, the blonde stood pressed up behind you around the bonfire in a group. he leans down to your ear.

“you know if you’re hungry i’d rather you not eat me. can’t you eat like, john b instead? he looks like he has tasty meat.” he teases, trying to keep things lighthearted despite him knowing you’re developing a little attitude. he wasn’t bothered though, he had enough beer in his system and you weren’t ever anything he couldn’t handle.

“no. trying to leave a bite mark so that girl that keeps looking at you gets the message.” you practically growl, sinking your teeth into his forearm again making him wince.

“ah, jesus— you got fangs or what? how does that little mouth produce such a dangerous bite?” he accuses, slipping his fingers between your mouth and his skin to stop you from doing it again.

“shush. let me.” you frown grumpily and he tsks, manhandling you a little by the waist to stand back from him and starts to walk you backwards away from the group, sensing that you need some special attention.

“dont get feisty with me kittycat, you know who’s boss i don’t gotta tell you.” he reprimands gently, squeezing your hips.

“i wanna go home.” you pout and he grins.

“see? look at you using your words. knew you had it in you.” he waves a finger with a grin before spinning back to the group, jogging towards them.

“hate to be the bearer of bad news but we’re gonna bounce. gotta get this one home and in bed before she scratches my eyes out. peace, dudes.” he announces making you roll your eyes.

“dumbie.” you mutter as he approaches you with an amused smile, patting your butt as he passes you to get you to follow.

“reowwww!” he mocks, swiping the air with an angry cat claw, taking your hand and helping you into his truck.

₊🐈‍⬛˚ʚ 🥛₊˚🎀°˖ 🤍｡˚

[the-record]

CASUAL.

SUMMARY: you want all of her, but abby only wants a friend

PAIRING: college!fwb!abby anderson x reader

A/N: i hate this a little but this is for the person who wanted a casual fic under the abby tag this is for u 💋💋 ur genius bc yes i love abby&casual&chappell so yes here

my masterlist

‘ I’M JUST A GIRL THAT YOU BANG ON YOUR COUCH ’

abby: babyyyyyyyt

abby: when ate you cming overrrrrrtt

angel: when you’re sober!

abby: boooooooooooooooooo

angel: i can come over tomorrow, i work tn anyways

abby: fine

abby: miss u

angel: miss u too babes

“you’re still with her?” dina asks while she reads over your shoulder. “didn’t she ghost you and come back like nothing happened?”

your thumb locks your phone as you turn it over on your lap. “so?” you turn to face the brunette, “its nothing serious anyways.” you have to defend yourself against dina and her girlfriend, ellie, way too often.

“tell that to angel three weeks ago crying in my apartment.” ellie piped up. “we’re just trying to be good friends.”

dina wraps her arms around your shoulders as you turn back around. “exactly babes, we love you.”

“whatever.”

you’re both quiet. an artist you dont know sings soft words while crickets harmonize. abby’s fingers run up and down your bare back and yours tangle in her hair. usually, the girl has an ample amount of topics to bring up, but tonight the jar runs empty.

“what are we?” you question. abby’s hand slows before settling on your lower back, toying with the band of her boxers that you wear.

she sighs before answering, thinking about what to say. “friends?” you snort in response. “i don’t know, i told you i wasn’t ready for anything serious right now. you knew what you were getting into.”

you push off of her and sit up with a soft groan. her room is dark but you’re able to find the tee you wore when you came over. the girl reaches for your hand but you pull away.

“i’m going home for the weekend, if you want to come with.” she smiles when she sees one pull at your face first. “it’ll be fun, a couple days away to seattle? hm?”

you face the blonde, now propped up on her forearm, a tousled braid over her naked shoulder. you give in so easy. especially when her lips find yours.

angel: can someone feed alice for me this weekend?

dina: yea ofc

angel: thanks hon

ellie: why cant u? wya

angel: going out of town :)))

ellie: with?

dina: stop interrogating her babe

ellie: no no

ellie: angel who and where

angel: seattle

dina: with who

angel: werent u on my side????

ellie: BRO

ellie: NO CHANCE OMFG

dina: angel dont omf

angel: i didnt even say who??????????????

ellie: ur so guility

angel: and youre so illiterate “guility”

dina: so defensive holy shit

dina: omg u are going with her

angel: omfg get off my dick

ellie: u literally never listen dude

angel: says u

ellie: tf does that mean

angel: cat?

dina: angel wtf thats low

ellie: ykw

ellie: she literally has a new girl every weekend

ellie: you’re just another fwb girl and u know it

ellie: have fun in seattle.

angel: i will thx xoxo.

her dad is sweet, a surgeon as abby brags. you can tell they’re close. he is observant and does his best to make you comfortable. their home is cozy, fireplaces with incredibly old family photos on the mantle. her senior portraits are hung in the staircase. you learn a million and one things about her on the trip.

she loves blue. big hiker. could play board and card games all day. doesn’t love to smoke. she hasn’t changed her room since the 6th grade. they can make a mean chocolate chip cookie.

you learn one that stays in the front of your mind during breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, and the car ride home.

“this is all just casual right? you dont actually have feelings? okay good, as long as we’re on the same page.”

when you come home, ellie ignores you as she moves around cleaning the dinner mess in the kitchen. when dina asks how the trip was, you leave out one small part.

“it was great. we went on an amazing hike and her dad is so kind, i had a lot of fun.”

she offers dinner bur you kindly deny, saying you were tired from the drive and just needed sleep. she smiled and sent you off with a quick hug and an ‘i love you’.

you continue to see abby.

she’s softer and kinder after that weekend. she kisses gently and sweetly. she takes you out on dates. you call her name in the passenger seat of her truck in a field in the middle of nowhere. it’s different now.

you don’t tell dina or ellie.

abby’s name is brought up less when people gossip over who’s with who. you hear less of her rendezvous’ with other girls. less and less until it stops.

you ignore your feelings and enjoy the warmth of her while you still have the chance. her dad invites you back and you spend many weekends with the two, laughing and drinking wine on the couch. she sits behind you on the couch while you watch a cheesy rom-com, making fun of the cliches with you. many smiles shared and laughs sung.

your favorite sleep shirt stays at her place. her favorite hoodie is hung in your closet.

when you go out with her friends she drinks and teases you in front of them. your cheeks warm, you excuse yourself and she always finds you in the bathroom. an apology and kiss lead to more.

ellie slowly forgives you, you all hang out as friends again.

her dad says he thinks of you as his daughter.

abby says she thinks of you as a friend.

angel: we need to talk

abby: woah sounds serious lol

angel: yes it is to me

abby: yea, okay. ill be over tn?

angel: okay, lmk ill unlock the door.

abby: see u baby

angel: see u

abby knocks, she always does.

abby smiles and sits on the edge of your bed.

abby shakes her head when you start to talk.

you can’t do this anymore. “i’m done abby. we’re done.”

shes confused though, “what do you mean? i thought we have fun.”

and you do, shes not wrong. but you have fun as ‘friends’ and not lovers. you hold her as a friend. you kiss, and make love, and drink, and laugh, together, as friends.

“i told you i didn’t want a relationship!” she counters. abby stands and grabs your hands. “i wasn’t ready, you cant be mad at that.”

you smile and shake your head. “im not mad, im just over it. i want more. a label, a sense of security abby.” you sit and pull her down with you. “i dont want casual.”

when she leaves you finally open up to dina and ellie. they’re quiet, but its comfortable as you speak and they understand.

abby texts an apology that night and you react to it, a heart.

when she texts again you don’t answer.

‘ I HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG

NOW I HATE MYSELF ’

[skyview-temple-spring]

skyward sword dash board simulator! only like three months late to this trend

🌅skychild

hey guys can someone remind me the wing ceremony is in like two hours. im just gonna take a quick nap

🟦bigbluebird Follow

link the wing ceremony is happening

🟦 bigbluebird

LINK THE WING CEREMONY

🗡️why-fi Follow

skyloft heritage post

🌅skychild

I made this two hours ago???

🌅skychild

SHIT THE WING CEREMONY

1,506 notes

🌅skychild

I'm trying to prove a point

🏋️fledglingwarrior

I think you're the only person having this problem

50 notes

🏋️fledglingwarrior

does anyone know if you can get addicted to stamina potions?

2 notes

🌃knight-shift

what happened to normal, good natured usernames. now it seems like everyone is named something like pumpkinplower or remlitgirldick

🎃pumpkinplower Follow

I'm just trying to find someone to help me out on the farm :(

🌃knight-shift

KINA IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN YOU

800 notes

thegroosinator reblogged bugenthusiast

🌅skychild

she skyward on my sword till I strike

✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011

blocked.

30k notes

🌅skychild

Hey guys I didn't want to do this but this is a call out post for @/sword-of-a-big-deal. It started like two weeks ago when that weird tornado happened. @/knittinggoddess can back me up she has screenshots (she didn't deactivate she's just been gone for a while)

~keep reading~

0 notes

🌅skychild

IMPORTANT impr1s0n3d changed its username to bringer-of-demise!! plz block it don't engage

✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011

umm his pronouns are he/him now please stop using it/its :/ and the rumors he was the one that got the Sealed Temple site shut down are literally false???

15 notes

🌅skychild reblogged

✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011

how about you suck my DICK

🌅skychild

dude she didn't block you for your weird ass parasocial relationship she blocked you because you killed people

6 notes

💌 night-in-armor

she liked my post about how the wing ceremony was rigged this year... should I message her...

#personal post #vent #vent post #vagueblogging #don't reblog

0 notes

🧵knittinggoddess reblogged skychild

🏋️fledglingwarrior

til that remlits attack you at night because of their proximity to demonic energy. Which means there must be a demon on Skyloft. Sleep well!

🙀bats-and-cats Follow

This is false. Remlits are hostile at night because they're predators and do the majority of their hunting then. There are no demons on skyloft

🌅skychild

net zero information. love this site

🐈is-the-remlit-cute Follow

Idk what @/bats-and-cats is talking about. Remlits have been proven to be more hostile when exposed to demonic energy, ESPECIALLY at night. normally they're very docile and only attack if provoked, which prolonged exposure to demonic energy can cause

🌃knight-shift

So there's a demon on Skyloft?

🌅skychild

yeah at ur mom's house lol

#prev you're one to talk #or was that bruise on your neck from 'falling down the stairs' again?

716,021 notes

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

bat siblings as things kids have said to me at work.

(i kept me as me because i couldn’t figure out anyone way to format this 😭)

steph: *taps me*

me: yeah?

steph: *whispering* hey show me ur moves

me: what 😀

me: how did you even get pencil on ur face?

dick: i dunno

me: my goodness ur a magician

dick: i am 😌

jason: i like picking my nose

me: how about we take a break from drawing and colour in

cass: no i don’t like colouring

cass: i like colouring more than drawing

me: ??

steph: *telling me about all the drama at school*

me who now has beef with a 4yr old named jessica* that’s wild

me: do u wanna colour them in now?

tim: *nods hesitantly*

me: are u sure? 😅

tim: no *seriously*

duke who arrived all of two minutes ago: *asks me something*

me: you’ve already got paint on ur face how’d you even do that?

duke: i know i put it there

me: aight fair

damian: why can’t u bring ur cat here?

me: that’s a great question

me: timmy pls i love ya but imma need you to stop rocking on ur chair kiddo

tim: timmy? only my mum calls me gems

me: whelp guess what i’m ur mum now stop rocking on ur chair

tim: no 😌

damian: mum-oh

me: listen hear kiddo i’m too young to be a mother

damian: but u said ur cat was ur son?

me: yes i did

damian: that makes no sense

jason: let me guess ur in ur teens

me: let me guess ur 2

jason: 😱 no i’m 7! 😤

me: oh right of course

dick: i’m done 😌

me: u sure? *pulls out other sheet of drawing from behind the first one like a magic trick*

dick: 😮

me: is that the same as that (talking about their drawing and the reference)

duke: yes?

me about to ruin this kids whole career: not quite

me: omg ur a goose

jason: *mildly offended* >:0

cass: *smacks self in the face with pencil*

me and her: *laughing way too loud*

context: student asks about a painting across the room

me: don’t worry about it just do ur drawing

dick: then why do you worry?

me: about what?

dick: about everything!

me: that’s so true

context me and the kids were talking about different coloured fish and one mentioned her doubts about pink fish

me: oh there are pink dolphins…but i guess they aren’t fish..

jason: pink dolphins? no they’re grey

damian: no there are pink ones

me: yeah i’m pretty sure they’re from the amazon

steph: like the shop???

me: *laughs to the point of almost tears*

tim: you got it dude

me: i know i got it but do you? (he doesn’t)

[beloved-femboyish-girl]

men moaning/whimpering playlist rating

Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] ("CozyCub ASMR" deleted) -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.

Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt

Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F (official audio) -- D. no domination involved really.

Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] Risky fun with Gorou behind a building [Bottom] [Blowjob] [Whimpering] [Petting] [NSFW] [Gorou x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 35:56) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll

Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy

Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ (official title: [Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ~ [Boyfriend ASMR] [Soft Voice] [Pleading]) -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine

Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too

Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks (excerpt of Ignoring your subby boyfriend until he breaks (M4A)) -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck

100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE (M and NB variants)-- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.

18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] F*cking Thoma at the Teahouse [Bottom Thoma] [Making Him Hold the Moan] [Subby Noises] [Thoma x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 29:06) -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.

alright thanks see you tomorrow for tge next ten

PART TWO:

gr#nding against your sleepy boyfriend~ (unknown source) -- D-. doesnt understand anything sexy about the conceit. or maybe at all !

"Couldn't Sleep?" A "Cure" For Restlessness Gojo X M!Listener NSFW (F and NB variants)-- 😥 the bird one was bnha so like is this one is too whos gojo. but same as with the doggy gen-- he just said いただきます. and now a footjob is happening?? bros gagging on whoever "Listener"'s cock is tho. WONT STOP SAYING "THANK YOU FOR THE ME- HE JUST SAID IT AGAIN??? C+ for the continuously impressive voice acting but. well theres wet plapping now. but . the character acting

M4M Annoying sleep boyfriend for cuddles (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Annoying your sleepy boyfriend for cuddles! [ASMR] [BL]) -- bold decision to take on the persona of "annoying". aww no ones gonna hurt you youre with your boYfriEnd. hes not whimpering. D for this list purposes but its fine

M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy to sleep (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy :) [ASMR] [SFW] [LittleSpace]) -- D for no whimpering or moaning. "aww. you havent regressed in a while? do you want to?" "oh i got you some Little stuff. you know for when you're in Little space. wait typing that out made me realize the little in the title was referring to that. anyway its fine this is what i imagine asmrs target audience is anyway

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: CEO Dominates you (CEO X Listener) [Slight NSFW] (official title: [BAD BOY ASMR] Mafia Boss x Listener. After Shower With Your Yandere Boyfriend!?[Spicy]) -- "[...] cum founder" still slow at 2.5x speed but only 16 minutes long. C-. character work is schlocky stock romance but soo reserved. but i guess theres moaning.

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: Sadistic Vampire Talks with you (Noble Vampire X Vampire Hunter Listener) [NSFW?] P.2 (official title: [DOM VAMPIRE ASMR] Vampire x Listener. Sadistic Kisses, Delicate Bites!?[Spicy]) -- C shallow world relying on slow brooding but can i just say the description on this one is wild. "- hold on bro is chowing down so ill bump it a lil. anyway "I hope I have the right audio. I haven't listened to the entire thing." bro?? am i the only one here wh

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Forces Cuddles on the Bus (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.2 (original deleted?)-- B this dude is so fucking funny. "whatya listening to. probably some gay shit. *sharp nostril exhale* now be a good little nerd and give me your homework. your lunchmoney too. I WONDER HOW YOU ARE IN BED? YOURE PROBABLY FUCKING GREAT" YESSS. wet gooping sounds happening now with little discernable - oh we're cocksucking this guy ok alright. you put your gay earbuds in and start listening to music at the last 30 seconds. Wow.

Cum in 10 minutes -- F this is binaural beats shit and did NOT cum

Whispering Slurs Asmr -- F. heres an excerpt from the artist's bio: "As a performer, I do not actually agree with anything this anti-social character spews out of his mouth. I will need to be careful what I say because I could be feeding into people’s deeply ingrained prejudices and bigotry. I pray that I do not unintentionally enable a bunch of bad people who resent a changing world."

Taking Care of Your Drunk Boyfriend (unknown source)-- C+. bros whimpering and moaning when he Should be throwing up !!!

PART 3:

alrigt im starting this at 4 am hope i can get fhru this quick NOTE: i didnt

[HOT BULLY ASMR]Bully x Listener. Trapped Together And 7 Minutes In Heaven! [Delinquent,NSFW(?)] -- D. sharp smug mouth inhales after like every sentence. its your first time 🥺 going to someone else's place 😑. its really funny to do a "7 minutes in heaven" scenario with only two people alone in an apartment. "HOT BULLY"? not really bullying at all but apparently im "already biting my lip" so i guess im wrong.

Making Your Boyfriend BEG for it…[SPICY] Boyfriend ASMR [M4M] (official audio)-- B-. sleazy creep type narrator. saying im blueballing him by not fucking right now? holy shit, trying to talk me into not using protection because he doesnt want to get up and go buy more condoms?? toxic as fuck bro...

"Fuck Me Now." A Villain/Mastermind Kenma X Male NSFW (F and NB variants) -- B. there was an alternative female AND "NB" version and the script is mostly the same. "suck my dick while you ride my thigh" good idea! but um i dont think. that works.

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Dominates you with Kisses (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.1 (original deleted?) -- B+ on technicality for no whimpering. bros actually getting vicious with this one. the part 2 was mostly goofy but. like. wow.

ASMR Audio Roleplay - You Challenge Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy] Pt 1 (official title: You're A Good Boy To Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy]) -- fuck the criteria. B-. the writing here is impressive. like dudes got natural conversation and character work down so well. and hes funny?? ok hes like a reddit edgelord shithead but hes got jokes. no moaning or whining though!

[M4M] [NSFW] Flirty Dragon Desires You [Part 2] -- can you please fucking speak up dragon i cant hear you over all the bugs. B its corny as fuck but bros moaning and maybe a hint of whimpering.

Subby boyfriend whimpers & begs for "attention" (Spicy boyfriend ASMR | Deep voice | M4A) -- he's whiompering and moaning and also fucking ANNOYING!!!!!!! C this guy Pisses me off. "im gonna cry if i dont get [your attention and pussy]" then CRY!!!!!!!!! "that makes me so squirmy" its all ok now tho bc hes in pain

[REUPLOAD] Daddy Detective NSFW M4M (OP deleted) -- ACAB. F. sadly i was hoping it was freelance.

ASMR [M4M] Your Bored Barista Tries To Kill Some Time With You -- F. bored? check. bro sings "im like a bird" in the quietest voice possible. lmao. no moaning or whining! but its fine

ASMR Audio Roleplay - [M4M] Locker Room Secrets ft. Liquid_Madnezz & cee_ [Kisses] [Spicy] [College] (excerpt?) -- A. POV: YOU'RE the bully?? obnoxious ass opening. also. whatever happened to the navy seals co[pypasta. POV: you crush mad pussy? this i think is the same guy as the dom friend one and dude kinda has writing chops because he paints such a pained but conflicted pairing. i empathize a lil with bro in this. theres whining in this but like, not the sex kind. and there IS moaning. lowkey toxic protagonist!

see u 2morrow for the next ten!

[gatorbites-imagines]

hope ur having a good day! i wanna ask for some Eobard Thawne x Male Reader where reader is just a normal dude. Like just some guy, i think itd be a funny concept :]

Eobard Thawne x male reader

Headcanons

I love Thawne sm, he’s my bbygirl. He’s a lil crazy, but that’s okay.

Now Thawne is literally just the biggest hater in all of existence, like God damn. He runs on hate and spite, and I appreciate that, because its relatable.

Youd most likely have met after he’s been in a fight with some hero or similar. Maybe he crashes into your yard or into your apartment. You don’t know much about heroes, you know the main ones sure, but you don’t keep track of all of them.

So, when you see someone who looks like a yellow flash in your yard bleeding out, you just kinda shrug and drag him inside, patching him up to the best of your ability. You get the head part of his suit off him and your pleasantly surprised at how red his hair is, you’ve always liked redheads.

You know nothing about speedsters’ preferences for food, and your used to cooking for just one person and have meal prepped for that. But you pull out some snacks you got laying around and a bottle of water, and put it on table beside Thawne, where you flopped him onto your couch.

When Thawne wakes, he’s immediately ready to fight, until he notices he’s just laying on someone’s couch, in a random living room who knows where. He’s honestly confused, because he’s a well-known villain and was in the middle of a fight.

He almost jumps up to throw hands when you walk into the room, eating whatever dinner you had prepped the day before. Imagine his surprise when you just go “hey, your awake. I found you in my yard, you good?”

Insert very confused Thawne, he tries to pull the whole, evil villain thing, but you are so chill and unamused that he just ends up giving up. One way or another you two just end up sitting on the couch and watching the newest episode of your current show.

It becomes a thing honestly. In the beginning he shows up after fights for you to patch up, even though you know very little first aid, but whatever. You put up with it, because if that’s the payment you have to pay for a hot redhead to sit shirtless on your couch, so be it.

Thawne won’t admit it for a long time, but he starts to enjoy your company quite a lot. Maybe it’s the fact that you couldn’t care less about him being a villain or what he does that has heroes after him. Or maybe it’s the fact that you don’t put up with his shit either.

The first time you scolded him and called him an idiot, his heart stuttered, and he won’t ever admit but his face got almost as red as his hair.

You tell him with a flat expression that he’s eating you out of house and home, because of speedster metabolism, so Thawne starts bringing groceries and helping around the house.

At some point you two realize he’s just kinda moved in, like a big street cat you’ve been feeding on your porch, that walked inside and just never left again.

You two never outright say you are dating, it just hits Thawne one day that you guys are cuddling on the couch and watching movies, and that you guys give each other kisses before you go to work, or Thawne runs off to be a villain like normal.

Its honestly quite domestic. I could imagine Thawne taking care of housework since you are the “breadwinner”, since you are the only one with a legal job. Sure, Thawne steals to get money, but he also starts stealing stuff you guys can use around the house.

Imagine Barry and the other speedster’s confusion when Thawne steals a brand-new dishwasher, or a whole porch set, chairs, tables, and all.

You never stop Thawne, since being a villain is kinda his whole thing, you just tell him not to do it with you around, so you have plausible deniability. You do appreciate the gifts he brings you too, but you never mention how most of the shirts he brings you are a little tight, you know he likes looking at you.

Thawne goes a lil crazy when you come home after work wearing your slacks, your button up and your tie. He always wants to be the one to undo your tie so he can pull you into a kiss.

He gets you expensive accessories you can wear to work, think watches that cost more than what you make in six months, tie clips, rings, etc. Everyone at your job honestly think you have some super rich sugar daddy.

You are both quite happy with your relationship, and theres nothing better than coming home to Thawne in an apron, cooking up in the kitchen. He always purrs when you come in through the door and swaggers over, drapes his arms over you, and asks about your day.

After some time, you two get engaged, it just kinda happened. You guys already act like a married couple, but one of you would have proposed. If it was you, you’d pull out a ring on a date or just during one of the evenings you are cuddling on the couch. You would use your family’s heirloom ring.

If its Thawne, he would go out of his way to make a huge deal out of it. hed rob the highest security jewelers in the world, or force the best jewelry maker to make a custom ring.

When the heroes show up its most likely Barry, maybe some of the others since Thawne has been MIA for a long time. They assumed he was planning something big, but he’s been busy playing househusband for you this entire time.

When they learn he’s trying to get a wedding ring they all thing “wait he’s got a lover???”. Thawne is gone before they can catch him though.

The heroes assume the worst, and assume his partner is as much of a villain as he is. Then Barry gets a wedding invite, written by you, since Barry’s been Thawnes nemesis for who knows how long.

Barry has always been a good guy, and since the invite specificlally says not to start anything at the wedding, he goes. Barry goes with the plan to scope out Thawne and his partner, but also to support him cuz its Barry.

Then he sees that Thawne is marrying you, the most normal guy he’s ever seen. When he talks to you, he realizes that you truly love Thawne, and though Thawne doesn’t say it with words, it’s clear the way he looks at you that he’s completely smitten.

The wedding goes great, and Barry is a big supporter, especially when he realizes Thawnes villainy has gone down a lot because he’s so happy with you, that he doesn’t wanna put you are risk.

It ends up becoming a peace thing, Thawne doesn’t do anything huge and Barry wont lock him away for life or have him thrown in the phantom zone. Thawne wont target Barry’s family and alike, and Thawne gets to stay with you.

[transit-fag]

sometimes you remind me of the cocky bull dude from sing 2 and sometimes you remind me of a very sad wet cat who keeps eating string even though ur owner keeps trying to stop you from doing so

Is this a compliment??

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT— JACK HUGHES (PART NINE)

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 5.5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

notes: i’m finally up to the games that i attended! pictures 5 and 9 were taken by me at this game! fun fact: dawson and the equipment guy actually posed for that pic for me after his hat trick <3

y/ndevils00

liked by dawson1417, john.marino97, and 34,186 others

y/ndevils00 hey! hi! how are ya?! i’m great thanks for asking because MY BEST FRIEND GOT HIS VERY FIRST HAT TRICK!!

let me preface tonight’s recap post by saying that i’m aware that there were 3 goal scorers in tonights 5-1 win against the penguins, and i’m proud of dougie, timo, and ALL of the guys for their hard work tonight. however, tonight’s recap is slightly different because it’s focused mainly on my very own best friend!

my puppy, my sun, the godfather to my child, best friend number 1, my favorite person in the world (jack look away), dawson mercer. you got your first career hat trick and i could not be more proud of you! i’m so glad i was healed from my debilitating illness (i had a cold) and was able to witness it in person! i’m not saying i’m your lucky charm but… slap me in green and call me a leprechaun! 🍀

i’m so happy for you, dawson! i love you so very much! here’s to this being the first of very many!

p.s. it would not be a y/n postgame post if i didn’t have a couple pics of my favorite ipad kid snuck in there <3 you did great tonight, my beautiful princess!

tagged dawson1417 and jackhughes

dawson1417 thank you best friend number 3! i’m glad you were there to see me hit this milestone! here’s to many more! love you so very much! ❤️

y/ndevils00 you are actually my very favorite person in this entire world! i’m so insanely over the moon for you right now! drinks?

dawson1417 drinks!

user68 wait i always thought the “best friend number 1 and 2” was just y/n being silly about dawson and marino, but they actually have assigned numbers?! 🥹 that’s so cute!

jackhughes so happy for you merc! @/dawson1417

dawson1417 thanks hughesy! ‘preciate it!

y/ndevils00 my two favorite people 🥹 where’s my other?!

trevorzegras @/y/ndevils00 right here!

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras k well we all know i wasn’t talking about u, lucifer’s favorite child

john.marino97 @/y/ndevils00 i’m scared to ask but is it me?

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 THERE HE IS! all 3 of my people <3

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 you’re being lovey to marino… how much did you drink tonight babe?

y/ndevils00 oh so much

john.marino97 @/dawson1417 so proud of you man!

dawson1417 thanks bro!

y/ndevils00 my boys 🥹

john.marino97 @/y/ndevils00 you’re weirding me out now. stop being nice. it’s unnatural

y/ndevils00 alright ur done. ur booted down with trevor

trevorzegras @/y/ndevils00 what did i ever do to you?!

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras exist.

jackhughes babe, you gotta stop referring to our cat as your child. you’re gonna make people think we actually have a kid

y/ndevils00 we literally do?? lil satan IS our child

jackhughes she’s a cat.

y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier you’ve gained a child and a y/n. congratulations!

nicohischier yay! i’ve always wanted those!

jackhughes @/nicohischier stay away from MY y/n!

trevorzegras i don’t go here but congrats dude!

dawson1417 thanks dude!

y/ndevils00 stay away from my best friend, demon!

trevorzegras @/y/ndevils00 doesn’t feel too good does it?! stay away from jimbo!

y/ndevils00 too late! we already have a snap streak!

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale tell me it isn’t so!

jamie.drysdale do you want the truth or a lie?

nicohischier congratulations merc! ❤️

dawson1417 thank you cap!

jesperbratt did you take that last picture through the glass?

y/ndevils00 yes. but i think you forgot something….

jesperbratt congrats @/dawson1417 !

dawson1417 thanks bratter!

y/ndevils00 much better

[daffy-not-a-duck]

Yes, I'm Solangelo's kid. No, you can't meet them. No, you can't call me Daffy Duck. No, I'm not friends with a bunny! Shut up!

NAME: Daphne Naria Solace-di Angelo (think that's long? hah. yeah, test papers are a pain.)

ALIAS: Daphne, Daph, Nari, Solace-di Angelo, Scary Blonde Girl, Daffy, Daffy Duck (sigh)

AGE: 17 years old (December kid here 🤘)

WEAPONS: A 36 inch sword made of Stygian Iron, as well as a bow and assortment of arrows (Stygian Iron, Silver, Celestial Bronze, Imperial Gold, Lethe Water tipped, etc.)

RELATIONS: Will Solace (father - dad), Nico Di Angelo (father - papa), Hades (grandfather), Apollo (grandpa), Persephone (step-grandmother), Maria di Angelo (grandmother - mama), Naomi Solace (grandma) (you know the rest. i am NOT listing the whole olympian family tree)

PERSONALITY: Acts like a little angel in front of adults, a little mean towards her friends (it's her love langauge). Unpredictable, sometimes she's all smiley and then she's kinda bitchy. Rebellious, stubborn, acts like she doesn't care but actually does too much.

FATAL FLAWS: Trust Issues, Loves too hard

FEARS: athazagoraphobia, claustrophobia, cleithrophobia

HOBBIES: reading, practicing first aid, studying psychology, arguing with Charlie

SEXUALITY: Straight (no really. why are you laughing? stop it. i am!)

APPEARANCE: long, slightly curly blonde hair; soft features; 5'5; cold, dark, almost black eyes.

"you love too much, and trust too little. why, child, why such a toxic cycle? it will only cause pain to you and those you've chosen. you will never know when to stop, when it's too much, and when you open your eyes all you will see is the dust of your carefully built up walls, empty within and without."

PEOPLE I TOLERATE:

@ghost-king-and-thebones papa!

@doctor-sunshine-andcarebears dad!

@olivernothere little brother. (LET ME PLAY WITH YOUR CAT SMH)

@percy-jackson-xxx uncle perce. (sir your wife is a milf- ouch pa!)

@chasing-that-jackson charlie. percabeth kid. (again, your mom is a- OKAY OKAY ILL STOP.)

@sincerely-anniejackson aunt annie. (umm. please look away)

@ineedtoescapefromreality echo and rosalyn. shelper kids.

@leo-repairguy-valdez uncle leo.

@iggy-mini-miny-moe iggy. valgrace kid.

@notwillingtobefound will. also valgrace kid.

@violent-cinnamonroll aria. ruegard kid.

@daredevil-larue lucine. also ruegard kid.

@hey-guys-its-sam sam. frazel kid.

@yourfavoriteadoptedkid eloise. also frazel kid.

@not-a-panda pandora. tratie kid. (we share the same pain sigh)

@drea-and-nico andrea and nico. my... aunt...? and my uncle who's.. name is like my dad... (shit's confusing ik)

@praetor-ambrose-asher ambrose. new rome praetor. (dude ur ripped af)

@regulus-a-star regulus. son of ares.

@overwhelmingly-his-son lukas.

@evan-is-here evan. son of nike, legacy of ares.

@the-poison-and-the-sky donna. percabeth kid from another universe. (still wrapping my head around that)

@morningstar-of-the-night kallisto. adopted by the hunters. (we, also, share the same pain)

@estxiell-e aunt estelle. (even though she's like 5 years older than me)

TAGS:

daffy's sunrise - ic posts

daffy's nightfall - ooc posts

daffy actually replies - asks

overprotective mode - ft. solangelo (will , nico)

SONGS:

ooc: i have basically no music taste so if u have suggestions, pls lmk!

[bruh-anator3000]

CAT-astrophic

~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~

A/n: *pushes rock I live under over and peeks out of the black abyss* Hey, have you guys seen a Car Wash Miguel fic anywhere? I don't know what happened to it but it's no longer here. Might've escaped... anyways, watch this cat for me while I look? Thanks. And don't mind the hot homeless dude who talks to him, they're bonding. *returns into the depths of the void*

Summary: A hot dude won't stop talking to your cat, it's kind of freaking you out.

WC: 1.7k, edited by google docs...

Pairing: Miguel x GN!Reader

Warnings: crack fic, Spider-cat's real name is Sir Jeffords bc i said so, clueless reader, pro outdoor cat (i'm not actually, keep ur cats safe pls), future-ish?, accidentally snuck in some world building, in Lyla we trust 🙏, Miguel in tight clothing bc I also said so, and wait wtf are you doing with a dead rat miguel, AND WTF IS THIS WHITE STUFF DUDE?!

Also no Spanish bc I've done some research and those who do speak it have asked non-native speaker to avoid it, to prevent bad google translations and maintain respect!

Okay, enjoy~

~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~

You were about to head in for the night when you were not tripped by your cat for his dinner. After a quick search around your apartment, you sighed upon realizing he was still outside. Shrugging on a coat, mismatched slippers, and grabbing a flashlight, you went out to look for him.

Plenty of people told you to keep your cat inside. That it was vital to their health to keep them safe indoors. There were plenty of articles stating the cons of letting a domesticated cat roam freely outside with no supervision. They were also written 80 years ago. The world has changed since then, drastically.

Sure, it would still be smart to keep Sir Jeffords inside. Less late night searches for him, no more worrying if that scratch on his right paw was from running too fast along pavement or something worse. But he came from the life of an alley cat, and no matter what you tried, he had to be out there for a few hours a day. Last time you tried to stop him, he went under your radar for three days. You had a panic attack, worried he didn't love you anymore, but he did eventually come back. Chipper and eager, and he made sure you left his cat door unlocked.

The streets were cleaner than 80 years ago. The people were kinder. The city more accommodating to everyone, even stray animals. Sir Jeffords was mirco chipped, and even if it didn't work for tracking half the time, the shelter folks could scan his neck and drop him back home.

There were no pounds or pest controls anymore, just volunteers who helped poor animals stay warm. And find whoever left them in the streets. It was a crime to leave them now, resulting in 6 months of detention if caught dumping your animal friend into the alleys.

Jeffords was a smart cat. He knew what he was doing. You trusted him. In the event of something bad happening, you made him swore he would come find you right away. Though he couldn't speak, his tail wrapping around your pinky seemed solid enough.

You called out his name, followed by a few 'pspspsps's to really seal the deal. Your flashlight shining in the darker corners of the streets he may be hiding in. Cats and their dark, unreachable corners, Sir Jeffords fell victim to any cozy spot he could barely tuck himself into.

It wasn't until a few blocks away, a little past the bank, when you heard a meow. Very similar to his, you quietly sped your pace, wanting to grab your kitty and go home. The closer you got, it seemed more like he was responding to someone else more than you.

"-and your service is always appreciated." You heard a deep voice whisper. Their voice a grumble echoing through the alley they hid in. "You're one of our best." Your brows pinching together, you turned the corner of the bank, flashlight illuminating your fluffy orange cat. Who was rubbing up against the shin of a random man.

He looked up at you, eyes darkened as he blocked your flashlight with his large hand. They almost seemed red as he stayed squatted, Sir Jeffords head butting his knee. His face pure sharp angles, with a scowl permanently in place. His black shirt a tight, compressing fit. Clinging to each muscle and vein in his arm, stopping halfway down his bicep. His calves just as impressive. His shorts doing nothing but making him look even hotter.

Wait, no. This was a random man, he wasn't hot.

You lowered the light and gave an awkward smile. Seemingly unimpressed, his hardened gaze turned back to your cat. "He's yours?" He asked, voice rumbling low in his chest. With a nod, he added, "He's... cute."

Okay, maybe he was a little hot.

"Right?" Your smile smoothed into something more natural. "He's the cutest cat to ever exist." You lowered yourself down onto your knees with a soft baby call. Sir Jeffords trotting into your lap happily, orange fur swaying with his steps.

Your hand ran through his silky fur. Tension easing from you as you held him close again. Though his three day disappearance had yet to happen again, you still worried. He was your precious baby, after all. The one you shared everything with, and he never once judged.

Your fingers caught on something sticky, stopping short of his lower back. Pulling your hand away, strings of white followed, sticking to your fingertips. The feeling moist and far too clingy for comfort. A disgusted shiver ran up your spine at the horrible sensory.

The man stood then, tossing a tissue at you as he did. His gaze stayed on your cat, never faltering. He pushed his dark hair away from his face, still scowling.

Glancing between your hand and the man that now towered over you, you almost gagged. This wasn't... his, right?

"It was the rat." Like he read your mind, the mysterious stranger held out his other hand. A dead rat laid in his palm.

"That... doesn't make me feel much better." You suppressed another full body shake, quickly wiping your hand off. This guy may be extremely attractive to look at but the longer you stayed there, the more uncomfortable you got. "How would a mouse... And what is this?" You felt yourself getting sick as you held the tissue out, the white stuff now sticking to the paper instead

"Webs. And, it's a rat." He stated with a straight face. More angry at your confusion than anything. "Chased him through some spider webs."

You let out a soft 'oh.' But that didn't explain why he was holding onto the dead rat.

And he let it stay that way. Instead of reading your mind like he had been this entire time, he just... walked off. With a dead animal in his grasp. Without a word.

Your confused gaze turned to your cat, knees beginning to ache from the pressure of concrete beneath. Sir Jeffords purred into your stomach loudly.

"You're not allowed to hang out with that guy, ever again."

...

"Christ!" Miguel tossed the rat at the wall, hearing him curse. The small animal glitched into a grown adult, body morphing sickly. "That..." The villain panted, rubbing at his neck. Bruises from how tightly he was held already forming there. "... was not what I was expecting."

Miguel squatted back down, balancing on his toes as the hologram of regular clothes shifted back into his suit. "You chose to become a rat, in a world whose Spider-Man is a cat." He slammed down a disk, red netting encasing the fool. "That was your own fault."

"It was the only way I could get into the bank!" The villain squeaked. Miguel tuned out almost immediately, eyes turning to his watch. Setting the portal to his universe, and making sure he wasn't needed elsewhere. He entertained the villain in a tacky grey suit with distant hums and 'oh, yeah, uh-huh's. It was best to just let them get it out of their system then try to shut them up.

"And I would've gotten away with it, too! If it weren't for you and your cat!" The shape shifter writhed in the nets.

"Sound like a damn Scooby-Doo villain." Miguel stood up with a huff. He would never admit it, but Hobie used the term so often, he had to look up what he was referencing. Only to end up watching the first few seasons. He had to stop around the third season, a sick sense of deja vu hitting him with a bat. The cartoons reminded him too much of the daughter he never really had.

With a sigh, "Lyla," He called.

The AI appeared before him, wearing a shit eating smirk. He opened his mouth to command something else when she beat him to it. "You should've asked for their number."

"What?" Miguel's head snapped up, eyes wide.

"They were cute, should've asked them on a date." She glitched to his side with a teasing laugh.

"Lyla, I... no." He grumbled, flicking at his watch.

"Oh, you know?" Miguel tried to smack her away, only for her to reappear on his left shoulder. "You should go back, then."

Miguel glared at her, ignoring how the tips of his ears began to burn. "I can't, its-"

"Not a canon event." They said at the same time. Lyla rolling her eyes behind her heart-shaped glasses, Miguel focusing on creating a portal. "You're such a loser, you know that?" She huffed and puffed, spawning with her back turned to him.

He tried to reach out with a heavy breath, but she moved further away. This time sitting with her arms crossed and pouting.

"They were cute." The villain nodded from his fetal position on the ground. Earning a glare from the two. Shrinking further into himself, the shape-shifter apologized.

Miguel thrust his forearms forward, his mantis blades catching on the fabric of time. Ripping them apart with a grunt. Orange and purple twisted in front of him, and he grabbed a hold of the red netting the anomaly was in.

"Meet me back at HQ," He spoke to his AI with a nod. Foot already in the portal, he turned to cast a menacing glance at Lyla. "And do not try anything."

She held up her hands in defense, watching the portal close behind him. It wasn't like she even had to do anything - not anymore. She already slipped his multiversal number into the collar of Spider-Cat. All that needed to happen was you either found it, or it fell out. Lyla just had to wait to see which option would be canon.

~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~

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[mmmfanfiction]

Hi!! Ik your probably stressed bc ur really active XD but I hope you drink some water and get some rest. When you find the time to write could I request a flippy/flipqy x reader Christmas head cannons?

Also if your doing the anon thing could I be -🌹 anon ?

Thats super sweet of you, anon! I hope that you’re getting a bunch of water and rest too! Sorry this came in so late, I started writing but didn’t finish. However I did give myself the deadline of Christmas which helped me actually finish this (finishing things on the deadline gang) anyway, I hope you like it!

warnings: mentions of death, literally nothing else just me imagining Fliqpy being like a lethal house cat-

Flippy

🧸I like to think Christmas is like a sense of nostalgia for Flippy.

🧸Like he’s done it his entire life, so it brings him back to his childhood.

🧸Flippy defo decorates, but not in the overboard, as soon as thanksgiving ends, everything’s lit up kind of way.

🧸More of a chill decorator. Doesn’t go all out but theirs definitely decoration.

🧸However if your one of those big decorators he will definitely help out with some things. Also he won’t let you go on the roof unless your experienced. Even then he’s like hovering below you.

🌹”Babe I’m not gonna fall, you don’t have to follow me wherever I go with that pillow.”

🧸”But I don’t want you to get hurt :(“

🧸I feel like he knows how to make REALLY good hot cocoa

🧸Like, tastes like it’s straight from heaven.

🧸He makes amazing cookies too.

🧸Also crochets cute little Christmas sweaters.

🧸Even makes matching ones.

🧸Flip definitely puts lots of thought into gifts.

🧸Like he will ask everyone you know just to gauge the best thing to get for you.

🧸His wrapping looks really good!….. if you don’t look at the bottom-

🧸Is open to trying new traditions. Like if you have a bit more spice added to your Christmas traditions then he’ll try them out too!

🧸Has like really obscure but also really sweet Christmas movies.

🧸Also old ones, like the stop motion Rudolf the reigndeer. 

🧸Just please don’t let him watch nightmare before Christmas, or at least avoid the one scene where the military starts shooting down Jack. That will not be a good time for either of you, especially not poor Flips.:(

🧸All in all, very warm n cuddly being w/ Flippy on Christmas. 

Fliqpy

🔪Now this little shit-

🔪Idk where that was going I just wanted to call Fliqpy a little shit.

🔪Anyways he’s not used to Christmas.

🔪Would 100% use the lights to strangle someone-

🔪Though he’s really good to have around if you wanna chop your own tree.

🔪The first Christmas he spends with you I don’t imagine him really getting you anything, and also getting flustered when you give him a gift.

🔪Afterwords he starts putting a bit more effort into this whole Christmas thing.

🔪Either a really shitty gift giver or a really great gift giver. No inbetween 

🔪Will fall asleep during Christmas movies.

🔪Unless maybe it doubles as a horror movie. Like idk Black Christmas or smth(I’ve never watched Black Christmas so don’t quote me on that but I really want to but I don’t want my mum to walk in and be like ‘WTF ARE YOU WATCHING!?’ Anyways back on track)

🔪Flippys not used to the domestic vibe of Christmas

🔪However if you also believe in Krampus he might be a liiittttleee bit more into it(long live Krampus)

🔪I imagine he really likes hot cocoa but won’t admit it.

🔪Also thinks Santa’s a creep

🔪”So, let me get this straight. You celebrate a dude BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE??”

🌹”…. He gives us gifts-“

🔪Really good at wrapping things to make them look like something they’re not. Like you think you’re opening a doll but it’s actually a pocket knife :)