#dude shuddup

[justaz]

growing up and radicalizing urself then going back to watch ur old favorite pieces of media and realizing you were siding with the true villains the whole time is wild

[feistys-junk-n-art]

God, I am so glad I left that fandom forever ago

[neon-catarina]

I mean, yes.

BUT.

The glasses. The swag. I love them already.

I noticed something...

Why is 99% of the fandom talking about the hollowhead stick?

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[melon-fodder]

(Naughty) Beach Episode • T. Hiragi

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: fem bodied reader, reader wears a bikini, body insecurities, semi-public sex, fast and dirty, Hiragi is strong enough to hold you up (dude is jacked, come on). I wrote this with a chubby!reader in mind!

Notes: I’m actually possessed. I love him so much my brain is exploding with him 💚

You won’t lie—you’re a bit uncomfortable as you step out of the small tent. More than a bit. It’s hard to not immediately cover yourself as you walk from the makeshift changing room down to where your friends are on the beach.

It’s not that you hate wearing bathing suits, and you definitely don’t hate this one. It’s probably the cutest you’ve owned. It’s just… showy.

Bright green against your sunscreen-lathered skin, the top ties in the front like a tiny corset, pushing your breasts together and offering a considerable view of cleavage. The bottoms are similar with ties criss-crossing over your hips. They ride up just enough to accentuate the swell of your ass, but it’s the way those curves lead down to your thick thighs that leaves you self-conscious—the flesh that the elastic presses against.

You feel pudgy and thick and chubby, and you’re just waiting for someone to point and laugh.

But you want to step out of your comfort zone. You want to be confident. For your boyfriend more than yourself.

He didn’t ask you to. Toma is too kind for that. But he has expressed how much he likes your body. You don’t quite understand it, but you’re extremely glad for it.

You drop your shorts and T-shirt on your designated towel, kick your sandals off, then slowly move toward the group, almost everyone in the middle of a disorganized game of volleyball. You doubt any of them actually know the real rules, only concerned with how hard they can hit the ball.

A few turn and take notice of you. Kiryu grins kindly. Kaji, sucker in his mouth, raises his eyebrows before turning back to the net. You think his lips curve into a little smile around the candy. Sakura, unsurprisingly, turns beat red and spins all the way around to avoid looking at you.

And Toma, your sweet, sweet Toma, does a double take just in time for Umemiya to spike the ball right at him. It lobs him in the side of the head which would usually make him shout and launch himself at the other man, but he just lets it bounce off of him while he stares dumbly at your approaching form.

You’re still giggling when you meet him, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck.

Your insecurities were obviously for nothing.

“You like?” you ask, a teasing lilt to your voice.

He nods quickly, eyes still wide as his hands find your hips and squeeze.

“Understatement of the fuckin’ century.”

Toma isn’t typically the PDA type, but he presses himself against you, his body warm from the sun, and you gasp in surprise at the already forming bulge beneath his swim trunks.

“Toma, oh my god, are you serious?” you laugh.

“Shuddup—this is your fault.” He kisses you hard, kneading the fat at your hips that you had been so worried about. “Fuck, you really have no idea how sexy you are.”

“Hiragi, either get your head in the game or get off the court!” Tsubakino shouts, though when you glance toward him you can see him grinning.

“Go on,” you nod toward the net, “go play. I’ll watch from the sidelines.”

“Rather play with you instead.”

“Not in this sand, you won’t.”

He rolls his eyes, a little pout on his lips, and grumbles, “fine,” before kissing you again then returning to the game (if it can even be called that).

You take a seat next to Kotoha who looks stunning in her simple black 2 piece. She lowers her sunglasses, mischief dancing in her eyes.

“Well, that was something.”

You want to blame your full-body flush on the scorching sun, but you know better.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that,” she tells you.

You scoff, awkwardly finding a comfortable position while mumbling, “no idea why he’s so gobsmacked.”

Kotoha smacks your arm. “It’s ‘cause you’re hot, dummy!”

You’ve never been good at accepting compliments, only managing a quiet, “thanks.”

The book you had brought stays in your beach bag, forgotten when you opt to ogle your boyfriend. How could you not? He’s out there glistening with sweat, his hair down from the being soaked in saltwater. His biceps flex every time he makes contact with the ball, and his abs. God those abs, cut and drawing your eyes to the sharp V that leads into low-hanging trunks.

You want to suck at the skin under his naval, lick the sparse trail of undyed black hair. The pulse between your legs is embarrassing, as is the way you bite your lip.

“Good god, just go back to the cars and have a quickie,” Kotoha snorts.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A quickie doesn’t sound like the worst idea, though. It would, however, be the most risqué thing the 2 of you have done.

You haven’t been dating Toma for a long time, a few months, and though you’ve had sex, you’re still in the ‘taking it slow’ phase of the relationship. Careful. Cautious. Still exploring.

You haven’t experienced him fast and rough, and you definitely haven’t experienced public sex with him.

But it sounds pretty nice right about now.

Shouts ring out from the game, and it must signal the end of a match because everyone disperses. Toma jogs over, and dear god, you can see his dick pressed against the fabric of his trunks, shifting with every stride.

You want to hide your face, but you can’t stop staring, even when he stops in front of you and bends to grab a water bottle. He takes a few gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing, then pours the rest over his head.

How can someone who looks like that be so affected by you? You aren’t hideous by any means, but he is just… unbelievable.

“What?” he asks when he catches you looking, a little smirk tugging at his wet lips.

“Just admiring the view,” you respond honestly.

“Oh yeah?”

He extends a hand, easily pulling you to your feet then tugging harder so that you stumble into him.

“Nothin’ compared to you.”

You melt when he bends to kiss you, fingers digging into his shoulders, moaning softly when he pushes his tongue into your mouth.

Kotoha fakes a dry heave behind you, mumbles something you can’t decipher. Toma breaks away but stays close enough so that when he speaks his lips are still brushing against yours.

“I’m dyin’ to get you outta here.”

“Then let’s go.”

That’s all it takes for him to grab your wrist and start moving quickly, frantically, like he can’t wait another second.

Despite Kotoha’s suggestion, you don’t actually make it as far as the parking lot. Toma pulls you straight into the changing tent—thank god nobody is inside.

His hands are on your ass first, squeezing and massaging. He even lifts and drops your round cheeks just to feel them jiggle in his palms. The whole time, he’s devouring you, tongue pushed between your lips, probing and stroking. It’s impossible not to mewl for him. You can feel his hunger, how much he wants you. And you want him just as badly.

You grind against him, shorter than his 6’1” frame, causing his cock to rub against your tummy instead of your hips.

He groans, a low sound that sends shivers down your spine as your pussy starts to ache. Heat is pooling in your gut the same way your arousal pools in your bikini bottoms, and when Toma slips his hand down the front of them and dips between your folds, the noise he makes is more primal than the last.

“Fuck, baby, you’re already so wet.” You whimper, wiggling your hips in a silent plea for him to get you out of your bathing suit.

Toma smiles against your lips, free hand finding one of the ties and pulling until they come loose, letting the material drop to the ground.

You make quick work of his trunks, panting while he kicks them off. The risk crosses your mind again—anyone could open the small tent and see the 2 of you—but Toma slides one long finger into your hole, and you forget about the potential consequences.

It just feels too good, digits thrusting in and out of your cunt, Toma huffing into your neck while pushing his cock against you in search of friction. You wrap your hand around him, stroking as well as you can without lube before realizing you have more than enough leaking from you.

Biting your lip, you dip your own hand between your thighs to gather the slick fluid that your boyfriend is milking from you. He grunts when he feels you, then lets out a broken sound when you spread your wetness over his length.

“Gonna make me cum before I even get inside you,” he chuckles, thrusting into your hand.

“Then maybe you should hurry up and get inside me.”

You squeal too loudly when he lifts you fully off the ground, situating you in his arms in a way that has his abs rubbing against your puffy folds. You gasp, shifting your hips a few times before reaching for his cock.

It’s an awkward angle and takes equal effort on both parts to line him up with your twitchy hole, but soon enough he’s pushing into you. The tip of his cock stretches you all on its own. Toma fucks into you, shallow at first, fat mushroom head catching on your spongy opening over and over again so that you bite his shoulder to stifle a moan.

Feeling your teeth digging into his flesh must do something for him because Toma shoves in further—further—until it feels like he’s nestled against your cervix.

God, you’re so full as you clench around him. Toma takes a second to breathe, kisses the side of your head, your arms wrapped around him, then starts rutting into you.

You’re at his mercy, bouncing up and down on his cock, doing all you can not to scream his name. He hits spots inside you that you didn’t even know existed. You think you might even be able to feel the pulsing veins that decorate his shaft dragging against your walls. And, once again, you’re blessed with being able to grind against him, your slick, swollen clit sensitive as you smear it over that happy trail you love so much.

“Love it when you make a mess on me,” he growls, pounding into you. “You gonna cum all over me? Gonna cream on my cock?”

You nod, unable to speak. His huge hands are spreading your ass cheeks, opening you up for him. You know if you had a better view you’d be able to see a ring of white around the base of his dick as shiny, sticky strands drip from your pussy.

Even though he’s doing all the work, it’s your legs that begin to tremble, toes curling, breaths getting shorter and shorter.

It’s the way he hits your g-spot with every movement, the way your now overstimulated clit can’t get away from coarse hair over taut skin.

“Fuck, fuck—Toma, I—”

“Cum for me, baby, wanna feel you squeezin’ my cock…”

You both groan at the same time when you seize around him, pushing more and more slick out of your pussy with every pulse, creating shamefully lewd noises.

Toma swears, the tendons in his neck straining as he throws his head back, “‘bout to fill you up—feel so good, fuck, fuck—”

His thrusts get sloppy as he hits his climax, hot ropes coating your insides, and he rides it out as the last waves of your own orgasm crash over you.

Chest heaving, Toma drops his head to kiss your breasts, sucking a mark just above the line of your top as he mutters breathlessly, “didn’t pay these the attention they deserve.”

You giggle, brain foggy and body light. “You paid plenty attention to what really mattered.”

Toma grins crookedly, “you mean this—” he thrusts his cock into you one last time, “—pretty little pussy?”

“Mmyes, that’s exactly what I mean.”

He gives you short, sweet kisses, both of you getting lost in something more heated, and it isn’t until his dick is soft inside of you that he pulls out and sets you back on the ground.

Returning to your friends and any beach games they’re playing is out of the question, and as you walk hand-in-hand with Toma, you shoot Kotoha a short text—Heading home early. Can you grab my bag when you leave?

To which she replies, sure. Have fun 😏

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1

Eddie’s coming home from the hospital today, and Steve is quietly singing along to love songs like they’re on the radio, but they’re not; they must be just in his head.

Dustin wants to enjoy it, wants to simply look forward to calling the others; they have an ongoing list of songs Steve has sung unconsciously, ranked according to various degrees of embarrassment, the current winner being his butchering of German in Rock Me Amadeus.

But he can’t. He can’t enjoy any of it.

There’s a window open in the car.

Steve keeps it down unless it’s crazy bad rain, ever since he found out that Erica can get motion sick sometimes.

Dustin grips onto his knees.

He’d tried to convince himself it was all centred around the hospital. That he could contain it.

But now he’s in Steve’s car (Steve’s car! Familiar and safe, where there’s still that streak of mud along the inside of the door from Dustin’s sneakers); he’s in Steve’s car trying not to breathe, because every time he does, he sees those damn particles floating in front of him.

“Okay, what?” Steve says, sounding both amused and resigned.

Dustin sucks in the slightest amount of air that he can manage. “Hmm?”

“Dude, I know you. Whenever you’re this quiet, you want something from me.”

“That’s an erroneous conclusion,” Dustin says.

Steve is meant to say something like oh yeah, erroneous, blah, blah, blah.

But Dustin knows his delivery is off when Steve just gives him a sideways glance while they’re stuck in traffic—knows that Steve misinterprets whatever look is on his face, because the driver window is being quickly wound down, too.

“Hey, do you feel sick? I can pull over.”

“I’m good,” Dustin says, only just managing to suppress a shiver as more cold wind seeps inside.

Steve doesn’t seem particularly happy with that answer, but the traffic starts moving again, leaving him with no choice but to drive on.

“Okay, just—we’ll be five minutes tops, all right? Just look at the, uh, horizon.”

Dustin looks ahead.

Doesn’t mention that all he can see is what the sky looked like from the trailer roof.

-

There’s a stack of books at the end of Eddie’s hospital bed—Steve’s gone back to the car to get a cardboard box for them. Dustin spots Nancy’s copy of Little Women on the top of the pile.

(During a visit where Nancy had driven him over, Eddie had made them wait in the corridor for a full five minutes before telling them they could come in, and when they did he was clutching the book with red-rimmed eyes, staring at Nancy so accusingly that Dustin couldn’t help but laugh.

“Beth?” Nancy had said, fighting a smile at Eddie’s melodramatic sigh.

Eddie mimed throwing the book at her, careful not to actually damage it. “Fucking Beth.”)

Another book’s in danger of slipping off the edge of the bed; Dustin catches it before it can fall. Peter Pan. He flicks it open, sees a childishly crooked Property of Steve written in pencil on the title page.

Eddie’s pressing some folded clothes into a bag on the other side of the bed. He looks up.

And Dustin suspects that when he went to the bathroom, Steve and Eddie must’ve had some sort of conversation about him, because Eddie says, “Go sit down, I’ve got this,” like Dustin’s the one who’s been recovering in hospital.

“What, scared I’ll rip your books?” Dustin asks, and this time he knows he’s hit just the right tone of normality, just the right mixture of teasing and petulant, because Eddie snorts.

“Shuddup,” he says, and then he lunges for Dustin, ruffling his hair. His hand lingers for a second, tilting so the back of it touches Dustin’s forehead.

“What the hell?” Dustin says, shoving him off playfully.

Eddie’s still grinning from their tussle, but it fades a bit as he gives Dustin a once-over.

“Thought you looked a little peaked,” he says with a shrug.

Dustin forces an eye roll. “I’m fine.”

Eddie seems to accept that, but he pours an extra glass of water and leaves it on the table; and when Dustin takes it, his mouth opens, and Dustin silently pleads inside his head don’t ask me, don’t ask me, and—

Steve’s voice echoes down the corridor, soft and lilting: Islands in the Stream.

Eddie chuckles. “That’s another one for the list,” he tells Dustin, but his eyes glitter like he doesn’t find it embarrassing at all, and when he’s bundling up the books, his fingers trace the front cover of Peter Pan like it’s a rare gem.

Oh, Dustin thinks. Then: You’re so happy.

Steve enters the room with the cardboard box held aloft like it’s a trophy, and Eddie laughs, makes a quip: “Jesus Christ, we’re not at one of your basketball games, Steve.”

Steve grins, briefly bends his knees as if on the basketball court. “You wish.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, shoots Dustin a look as if to say who does this guy think he is?

But his eyes are saying something else.

He passes the books over to Steve, chatting easily about whatever chapter he’d got up to, and their hands touch with such casual intimacy. There should be no space for them to worry here, Dustin decides—and so, for the rest of the day, commits to being the most carefree, boisterous version of himself he can manage.

-

It gets to the point where the window in his room is permanently shut.

Where he suddenly has this awful feeling of doubt—that this is something he should’ve called a code red over long ago.

He calls Will, twisting the phone cord around his fingers over and over, so tightly that it hurts.

“Will, you know when. Your—your episodes. The Mindflayer. What. What did it feel like?”

The ensuing silence makes shame run down his spine, cold as ice.

But when Will speaks, he doesn’t sound hurt, or even the slightest bit frightened.

“Why?” he asks.

“It.” Dustin grits his teeth. “I’m worried it might. Might be happening again.”

Another silence, and then Will says, very gently, “Dustin, it’s all closed off. I can��t feel anything anymore.”

“Okay.” Dustin blinks back the sudden burning in his eyes. “Okay.”

“You… you know you can talk to me, right?” Will says, tentative and kind, too kind, because Will is the kid who disappeared, who’s had to deal with all this shit for years, stuff that Dustin could never—

“Yeah,” Dustin says.

“My mom, she’ll be home soon,” Will says, rushed suddenly, like he can sense Dustin’s about to hang up, “if you wanna—”

“Yeah, thanks, I’ve gotta go,” Dustin says all in one breath, and ends the call.

And he realises something—kind of hates himself for it. That if The Upside Down was really back, he would’ve felt terrified, sure, but also…

Relieved.

Because the alternative is that the problem is him.

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26

They watch her go, and Hopper remarks, “She seems like a good kid.”

Steve chuckles. “She’s great. Part of it is due to you.”

Hopper looks at him incredulously. “Me?”

“Sure,” Steve shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know how much I’m supposed to share, or not supposed to share, about the details of the future, but you end up basically adopting her. Joyce helps a lot, and for a while she moves to California with them.” He tilts his head. “It’s a weird custody thing that somehow works. I don’t really know the details.”

Hopper sighs. “Kid, you’re gonna drive me to drinking more.”

Steve smirks, fully giving in to the temptation to fuck with Hopper. “Eh, the Russians pretty much fix that for you.”

Hopper drags a hand down his face with another sigh. “I don’t want to know.”

“Probably for the best,” Steve agrees. “Especially since we plan on that not happening this time around. Hopefully with me not fighting anyone.”

Hopper squints at him. “How many people rocked your shit?”

Steve tilts his head. “I don’t know if Jonathan gave me my first concussion, but he definitely beat me to hell. Then the Russians, and there was definitely a concussion with that. Then Billy, he broke a plate over my head, so that’s another concussion.” He shrugs. “So like… two and a half, probably?”

Robin taps his shoulder as she passes by. “You’re forgetting the demobat,” she says, then pauses. “And did the vines get you?”

Steve sighs. “Dammit. I knew I was forgetting something. Can we just call that an even three?”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Hopper grits out. “Were you dropped on your head as a child?”

“That implies I was picked up in the first place,” Steve fires back without thinking, then blinks. “Um. Sorry.”

Hopper squints at him. “I feel like you need a hug, but I’m the worst person in the world for that.”

From across the room, Alli calls, “Steve, stop fucking with the chief.”

He turns to her, jaw dropped. “I am not!”

“Bubba,” she says, giving him an extremely judgy look.

He squints at her, then pointedly turns away, only to come face-to-face with Eddie, who’s looking between the two of them with an amused look on his face.

Steve goes scarlet. “Oh,” he says. “Hi.”

Eddie looks like he’s considering something. “Hi.” He shuffles a little, looks down at his feet then back up at Steve. “Um. I wanted to thank you. I heard what you said to the chief, about me.”

Steve smiles. “I know it probably doesn’t seem like it, but I swear the guy’s actually a teddy bear.”

Eddie shrugs. “Well, still. Thanks.”

Steve smiled shyly at him. “You’re welcome,” he says quietly. “And thank you. For the gun stuff.”

Eddie grins. “Gun stuff?”

Steve flushed scarlet again. “Shuddup,” he murmurs. “But seriously. I- it was selfish, wanting you here this time, y’know? You would’ve been fine if I hadn’t dragged you into it. Shit- shit, you would’ve been okay, nothing goes after you yet…”

“Steve,” Eddie says, and his attention snaps to a soft smile. “It’s okay. I’m involved now, I’m here, and I’m not leaving.”

Steve takes a breath. It only stutters a little. “Okay,” he whispers, then takes another breath. “Um. Sorry.”

Eddie offers him a kind smile. “I think you’re kinda due for a breakdown, dude, after hearing what you’ve been through? I think you’ve more than earned it.” He looks around, leans closer to Steve, lowers his voice. “Tell you what. Tonight, or whenever it’s just us, I’ll bring out the lunchbox.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. Does his best to ignore the just us. “Sounds great, honestly. Thank you.”

Eddie leans back with a grin, then winks at him before he walks away.

Steve turns and catches Robin’s eye. He widens his, and she raises an eyebrow, nodding in the direction of the bathroom.

Steve considers it, then shakes his head, jerks it in the direction of the kitchen, walking that way without waiting for her.

He’s got his head stuck in the fridge by the time she gets into the kitchen. “I’m thinking a casserole,” he says, “I don’t know what else is gonna feed everyone-”

“Steve,” Robin says gently. “We don’t have time for you to deflect.”

He shuts the door with a sigh and leans his forehead against the cool metal. “He’s being so nice,” he all but whines.

“And you don’t know how to handle it,” Robin nods, patting his shoulder. “I know.”

“I fucked this up,” he murmurs.

“You didn’t. He likes you, Steve. It’s just shitty timing.”

He takes a breath, lets it whoosh out. “I can’t ask him to wait for me.”

“Maybe you won’t have to,” she says. “Maybe he’ll realize you’re worth the wait.”

He manages a grin. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

She rolls her eyes, but smiles. “Yeah, well, when you look this pathetic…”

He squawks and launches himself at her, and she yelps and runs out towards the living room.

He grins and turns around, back to the fridge. It really is time for dinner, and a casserole does sound good.

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[sincerelykarai]

Nightmares (A Rocket Oneshot)

Authors Note: Sorry this took so long I had no idea what to do for this oneshot 😭 It's a mix of angst and fluff btw!

TW: Mentions of death, maybe gore? PTSD. Reader's be cautioned!

It was quiet in the Milano, everyone was asleep..well everyone except for one raccoon. Rocket was in his workshop building a bomb (as if that was surprising) to get his mind off..everything. The High Evolutionary's experiments, him running away, the deaths of his friends..it was a lot. And it always haunted him especially at night when nobody else was around. The voices screaming and screeching in his head how everything was his fault, nothing would've happened to them if it weren't for his stupid attempt at "revenge" by clawing out The High Evolutionary's face to bits. They were dead, and he hated himself for it.

Rocket shook his head, trying to rid himself of the pain of his thoughts. Before he heard something get knocked over and a small shout from afar, his ears twitching in caution and confusion. "Who's there?" He called out, but heard no response. Rocket got up and walked into the kitchen (having a climb onto a stool in order to turn on the lights the short dumbass) and saw you, with your eyes squinted and half lidded.

"It's just me, dude. Turn off the light!" You groaned, as your eyes slowly adjusted to the light.

"Well what the heck are you doin up?" Rocket raised an eyebrow.

"Getting water, what are you doing?" You retorted.

Rocket froze, his ears flickering. "Uhhh, just working on a project." He shrugged.

"Liar." You rolled your eyes.

"I am not!" Rocket huffed.

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"You wanna know how I know?" You scoffed. "Everytime you lie, your tail wags!"

"No it doesn't!" Rocket scowled, as his tail lashed around in the background.

You sighed, with a deadpan expression. "What was it, another nightmare?"

Rocket didn't respond, as he sheepishly nodded. "I don't want no pity, though."

"Wasn't planning on it." You shrug, as you scratched the back of your head. You were more than aware of Rocket's nightmares and how often they occurred, what they were about? Not so much. "Do you want to stay in my bed, instead?" You ask.

Rocket rolled his eyes. "...yeah." He mumbled, and you bit back a snicker as you walked with him to your bedroom.

Your room wasn't too bad, a little messy? Sure, but nothing compared to Quill's dump of a bedroom. As you sat back in your bed, Rocket came to curl up next to you (keeping his distance of course) and you couldn't help but scratch behind his ears a little.

Rocket started purring, which just made you laugh. "What are you, a frickin' cat?" You teased.

"Shuddup." Rocket mumbled, as he reluctantly dozed off.

You smiled softly, before falling asleep as well.

Authors note: I'm sorry that this is so short but my motivation sucks rn ☹

[shr1mply-here]

How.

Grab a fire extinguisher

remove safety pin via pulling

aim nozzle at base of flames

squeeze handle and sweep side to side until fire is gone

one again, how.

HOW DID YOU DO THIS, LIKE DUDE!?!!

IM FIXING IT IM FIXING IT!!

WHAT WERE YOU EVEN MAKING???

SHUDDUP I GOT THIS—

I GOT IT!—

BLEHEHAHAHEW—

Jeez this thing is useless— oh.. oh no thats bad.. uhhh.. sorry?..

YOU MISERABLE ROTTEN SHRIMP!!—

WHAAAHAHDGEHAAA!!!

[reigningqueenofwords]

Paintings

Pairing: Castiel x Winchester!Reader Word count: 1,953

Read on AO3

Sitting in the room that your brothers had set up for you, you tilted your head as you looked over the canvas in front of you. You were surrounded by some finished pieces, pieces you’d started and were waiting for new inspiration for, and then some pieces you hated and just never threw away. You were wearing a pair of old jeans and a tank top, not caring about the amount of paint that currently covered you. 

There was a knock on the door before it opened. When you looked over your shoulder, you were met with Dean’s face. “Sis, we kill things for a living, so please tell me why you paint like this?” He motioned around as he stepped it. 

“Like what?” You raised an eyebrow at him, looking innocent. 

He played Vanna White at your current piece. “Like you just ripped a guy’s heart out and decided to paint with it?!” He said simply. “It’s weird.” He shuddered. “It’s like the murder room in here.” He explained. 

You blinked. “Huh.” You shrugged. “I never thought of it that way.” You admitted. “Maybe it’s my way of working through things we see? You drink and jack off to Busty Asian Beauties. Sam nerds out. I paint.” That was your best theory. “And spend time with Cas when he can.” You pouted. He’d been somewhat busy lately, leaving you little time with your boyfriend. 

“Hopefully he can take you out soon. Get you away from this.” He motioned to your work again. “Can’t you paint something with life?” He asked. 

“I could try, but it probably wouldn’t be any good.” You told him. 

He rolled his eyes. “You’ve got talent, so stop trying to pretend you don’t. Anyways, dinner is done.” He moved towards the door. “Can you take a break from blood and guts to eat with your older brothers?” He teased you. 

“Give me five minutes to put the covers on my pallets and clean my brushes.” You smiled. “And get me a beer?” You asked him, going to work on cleaning up. “And not one of those alcohol free ones you’re hell bent on me drinking.” 

“You’re my baby sister, so sue me.” 

Stopping what you were doing, you stared at him. “Dean. I turned thirty two months ago .” You laughed. “I’m not a baby!” 

“Shuddup.” He muttered before leaving you alone. 

“Wash your hands.” Sam told you as he set things out on the table. “I know your hands are covered in paint.” 

You chuckled. “Jokes on you. My hands are clean, Sammy.” You showed him when he looked up at you. “Had to clean my brushes.” You explained. “Need any help?” You offered. 

He smiled. “Nope. We’re good.” He sat down as Dean brought over three beers. “I actually cooked dinner. No takeout tonight.” He said proudly. 

“Oh, impressive. And I was so getting used to the bad Chinese and Taco Bell.” You teased, getting yourself comfortable. “And thank you for the real beer.” You told Dean, lifting it to your lips. 

Cas appeared a moment later. “Oh, you’ve already begun dinner.” He sighed. “I was hoping to take Y/N for a date.” He explained. “Perhaps another night.” He noted, sitting down. 

Dean nudged you. “Go on.” He told you. “Or he’s going to pout like a puppy who lost his bone.” He teased his best friend. It had been weird as hell when you first started dating him, but over time...he was okay with it. “Besides, that ‘another night’ might not happen for weeks for all we know.” He pointed out. 

“You sure?” You looked between the boys. “You cooked.” You reminded Sam. 

He smiled, nodding. “I can easily put the leftovers in the freezer.” He assured you. “Go.” 

You got up, moving to hug each of your brothers. “You’re the best. Love you. I promise I’ll work on that ‘life’ painting tomorrow, Dean!” You kissed his cheek, making him chuckle and shake his head. You got to Cas and held out your hand. “All yours!” 

Cas’s face lit up as he stood. “I am looking forward to our date. I’ve missed you.” He said sweetly before he kissed you. 

Dean made a face. “Dude.” He said jokingly. 

“Going!” You laughed, tugging Cas out of the room. “Let me change and then we can go. Did you have someplace in mind?” You asked as you neared your room. “So I know how to dress.” 

“You are fine in what you are wearing.” He chuckled. “Although, I would suggest shoes.” He pointed out. “I find I enjoy when you are covered in paint. Means you had a good day in your ‘studio’, which I know makes you happy.” His blue eyes traveled over your body as he spoke. 

You blushed and looked at him. “Can I show you my latest work?” You asked shyly, wanting to see if he thought the same thing as Dean. 

He beamed. “Of course.” He nodded, letting you tug him in the direction of your little studio. “I always enjoy seeing it.” He had simply watched you work for hours on end before, observing you. It was beautiful. 

Opening the door, you let him in and shut it behind him. “Dean doesn’t get my work.” You told him. “Says it looks like I took a guy’s heart and painted with it or something.” You traced your fingers gently over the outside of your new canvas. “Asked me to paint something with ‘life’.” You sighed. 

“What is more full of life than blood?” Cas asked. When you looked at him, eyebrow raised, he smiled at you. “Blood truly is life.” He pointed out. “Without it, humans would die, animals would parish.” 

You nodded at that. “That is a very good point.” You agreed. “Dean calls it the murder room.” You shrugged. “I dunno, just wanted your opinion. I never noticed it until he said that. I like my work. It speaks to me. Except for those.” You pointed to the corner. “Those are my disowned works.” 

He chuckled lightly. “Why do you keep them?” He asked, curious. 

“Inspiration to do better?” You guessed, chewing on your lip as you looked around. Slowly, you smiled at him. “I have an idea…” You moved to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “And I need the help of a certain angel.” You flirted. 

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close. “And how may I help you?” He asked, voice low. 

Pecking his lips, you grinned. “Strip.” You patted his chest. 

“Strip? As in, remove my clothing?” He asked, wanting to clarify things.You nodded as you slowly pulled away, taking off your tank top. 

Both of you stripped, eyes never leaving each other as you did so. “Now, pick some paint.” You pointed to where there was a bunch of new bottles. “No more than say six. Don’t want it to get muddy.” You moved things out of the way as he looked over his options, wanting them to be perfect. Once there was enough room, you set up as many canvases as you could fit in the area. 

“Are these okay?” He asked, turning with two bottles in each hand- teal, dark blue, emerald green, and a color that reminded you of his eyes. 

“Perfect.” You nodded, excited. “Give me two.” You reached out, getting dark blue and emerald green. “Now shoot streaks all over the place. On these canvases.” You told him. 

“And this will create ‘life art’?” He asked as he opened his two bottles. 

You did the same. “It’s the start.” You explained. “Move around to get some all over.” You told him, not staying put. Once you felt there was enough, you stopped. “That’s good. Can you put these over there?” You handed him your bottles and motioned to the ones that were opened. 

Castiel nodded, taking them. “Of course.” He agreed. “Now...what?” He was curious as you walked across the canvases towards him. 

“Now, you’re going to lay me down on these and we’re going to enjoy each other.” You ran your hand over his chest. “We’re going to make a painting with our bodies.” Kissing him softly, you smiled. 

His hands gripped your hips. “I will not object to that.” He told you, kissing you lovingly as the pair of you moved to lay down. 

Dean was walking by your room when he heard you laughing and paused. He furrowed his brows, moving towards it. “Sis?” He called out before opening the door. “Oh, come on .” He instantly left. 

Walking into the kitchen, your hair was wet and you were wearing your bathrobe. Cas wasn’t that far behind, a smile on his face. He was dressed in his own clothes, but his hair was also wet. “Please erase that image from my mind.” Dean down the last of his beer. 

“Hey, you asked me to create a life painting.” You smirked. 

“I didn’t say ‘make babies in paint’!” He countered, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. “I want to forget that sight.” He groaned. 

Cas furrowed his brows. “We were not ‘making babies’.” He told Dean. “I have no wish to lose her to childbirth.” 

You giggled as Dean put his head on the table. “I think you’re breaking him.” You told your boyfriend. “Let’s just get my ice cream and go watch a movie.” You said as you got a bowl. “I’m sure it’ll pass, Dean.” You told your older brother. “You’ll be okay.” 

He shook his head, not moving it from the table. “I regret telling you to make ‘life paintings’. Please, stick to your murder work.” He turned his head to look at you. 

“I might. Depends on if these sell.” You shrugged. 

That made him sit up. “Sell?” He asked, curiosity piqued. “What are you talking about? You’ve never mentioned selling your work before.” 

You nodded, finishing getting your ice cream and putting it away. “It was Cas’s idea. Said that my talent should be shared, and it might be a good way for us to make some spare cash.” You turned to lean against the counter, bowl in hand. “So, I’m going to ask Sam to help me figure out how to sell some stuff online.” You explained. 

Dean smiled at that. “See, told you that you have talent.” He said proudly. “You got a ton of work in there you can sell.” 

“Except I requested she keep one of our pieces.” Cas noted. 

“Please never mention your ‘pieces’ again.” Dean said over his shoulder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to find something to take my mind off...that.” He moved to the fridge to grab another beer before leaving the two of them alone. 

Running through the bunker when you heard Dean get home from a supply run. “Dean!” You were nearly jumping with excitement. “Guess what?!” You squealed. 

“What?” He laughed, loving seeing you like this. 

“Everything. Sold.” You told him. “In just the time that you were gone.” You gushed. “Cas and Sam and helping me get everything wrapped up. The buyer is in the city.” You explained. “All. One. Buyer.” 

His eyebrows went up. “One?!” He grinned. “That’s amazing. You sure it’s legit?” He didn’t want you getting screwed over. 

You nodded. “He’s sent half the money already.” You told him. “We meet him about dinner time. And, then after, I’d like to take my big brothers out to celebrate.” 

“What about Cas?” He asked. 

“We’re going away for a few days, leaving Friday.” You told him happily. “Going to Greece. Saving on airfare, thankfully.” 

Dean hugged you, happy for you. “You’ll be in a museum one day.” He beamed.

[cleighwrites]

dean winchester x reader ~ lollipop

Hey, babe!! Of course, you'd choose something like this! lol

420 words of seductive lolly sucking, beneath the cut!

Dean stared in rapture at you from across the map table with wide, dilated deep green eyes. His gaze zeroed in on your mouth, longing and lust written clearly across his features. He was leaning forward and resting on his elbows on the table, clearly not paying attention to anything else that was going on.  

You’d never seen him so entranced. Well, that was a lie; you had, but rarely ever with your clothes on. You smiled wickedly at him, knowing exactly what was on his mind. 

Pulling the lollipop sharply between your lips with a gratifyingly lewd pop, you asked, “You want one? You’re looking a little hungry.” 

“Hungry’s not quite the right word,” Sam said, a smirk in his voice. 

“Shuddup, Sammy!” Dean said, frustration and annoyance in his tone. “You,” he added, pointing directly at you, “you, come with me.” 

“But Dean,” Sam started. 

“Appocolypses can wait, Sam, I’ve got something I need to take care of first.” 

“Dude,” Sam said, disgusted. 

You shot him an apologetic shrug. Dean was already walking out of the room when you stood to follow him. When you made it to your shared room, he shut the door and ripped the candy from your mouth. 

“You’re such a tease,” he accused. 

“You’re just pent up,” you argued back, running your fingers down his toned stomach to toy with the waistband of his pants. 

With the taste of the lollipop on your tongue, you leaned up and kissed him. His free hand was instantly on the back of your head holding you to him as he licked into your mouth. 

“Oh, Y/N, your fucking mouth,” he groaned into the kiss. 

“Taste good?” 

“Feels good.” 

You gently pushed him away from you, reaching for the Tootsie Pop. He held it away from you, then turned his head and popped the candy into his mouth. He swirled it around a few times, then smiled at you. 

You watched as he played with the sucker, turning it this way and that. You could almost feel the swirl of his tongue as he did so. Then, as if he could read your mind, he pulled the stick through his perfectly O-shaped lips. The candy pulled and stretched his luscious lips and you couldn’t take your eyes away. You’d felt those lips on you, and you were suddenly ravenous to feel them again. 

“Alright, you win. Sixy-nine?” you ask, shoving him toward the bed.

“Hell yeah,” he said, tossing the offending candy into the trash can.

[macsimagines]

Hi! Can I ask for some headcanons for Yandere Mikey and Izana where the darling they had an eye on (jokingly) propose to them as a dare from their friend? Please and thank you!

Yandere!Mikey

Has been looking for an excuse to make you his, and now he's got the perfect excuse.

"Sure thing, wifey~,"

He's got an arm over your shoulder and now is showing you off and introducing you as his new blushing bride.

You think he's just playing along to the joke now and you decide to get in on it too. Its supposed to be funny.

"Mikey's my darling fiancé, it was love at first sight~," you put a hand on his chest and leaned in real close to sell it.

Normal people can tell it's a joke, but for Mikey? You've just signed over your soul.

The next day he's at your house; "Why wouldn't I come get my wife for school? I'm a good husband."

It doesn't help that you keep playing it off as joke. He's committed to the bit guys. But it becomes clear he's not joking sooner or later.

"Why don't you call me your darling anymore, honey? Did I upset you? Is it cause you don't have a ring yet? It's gotta be perfect love!"

Yandere!Izana

Knows it's a joke. He watched your mutual friends tell you to do it in front of him.

"Oh Izana-kuuuun~, you're the only man for me!," you swoon, your acting terrible with faux dramatics, "You have to make me your bride or I might just die,"

He almost doesn't dignify that with a response. But everyone is laughing and enjoying the jokes so he just ruffles your hair a bit.

"Shuddup, you goofball,"

But that night he dreams of you in a white dress, he see a future so vivid it makes his chest ache. You're the mother of his children and the light of life.

The next day, things are different. He's hovering around you more often, demanding more and more of your attention.

"Geez, dude. Put a ring on it." You say it as a joke but Izana reply makes a chill go down your spine.

"I intend to."

His easy smile never wavers, his eyes peer into your soul and something tells you that you should probably stop making jokes...

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

Title of Your Sex Tape

Chapter Six: I Want To Fucking Tear You Apart

AO3 one two three four five six seven eight

All my work is 18+.

So much for keeping this just friends, shut up and kiss me now, and we carry on. I don’t wanna say goodnight; the city comes alive when we’re together. Why can’t Thursday last forever? I don’t wanna say goodnight; I’ve never been so sure.- All Time Low, For Baltimore

Lea woke up when Tim stepped through the door an hour or so later.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered. “Mackenzie is just not pleasant to be around.” She noticed he was almost entirely soft. He must really dislike his costar.

His dick twitched when he looked over at her, though. She’d sat up on her elbows, and the blanket slid down, revealing her breasts. “D’you need help?” she asked sleepily.

“A kiss would be nice,” he admitted, moving towards her. “And also possibly some groping.”

Lea giggled, reaching for him instinctively. He knelt down, cupped her face with his hand, and kissed her. It was hungry immediately, like he wanted to breathe her in, starting with her lips, and his other hand reached over to grasp her breast. She moaned into his mouth, sitting up fully and wrapping her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair. Tim twisted her nipple, and she gasped, giving him the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth.

At that exact moment, however, Lea’s stomach growled.

They both froze, and then Tim laughed against her lips. “Need a snack?”

She pulled away, blushing. “Shuddup.”

He chuckled, leaning back in to kiss her cheek. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed. It’s cool, I need to go do my next scene anyway.”

Jealousy twisted in her stomach, but she forced it down. “Are you, uh… y’know, good?”

Tim snorted. “Yeah, sweetheart. You consistently get me as hard as a rock.” He gave her a swift peck on the lips before standing back up and handing her her clothes. “Go get something to eat. You’ll feel better afterwards.”

Lea pulled her clothes back on, blushing as she did so.

Tim sighed regretfully, gesturing to her clothes. “That’s a national tragedy, honestly.”

She glanced up at him as she pulled her stockings back on. “Why?”

“‘Cause your tits are covered back up, of course.”

Lea flushed again, straightening her top as she stood back up and mumbling, “That’s hardly a tragedy of any level.”

He hummed, opening the door for her. “Agree to disagree.”

She rolled her eyes and headed off in the direction of the break room.

“So,” Susie began, taking a bite of her sandwich, “how’s work goin’? You get along okay with Tim?”

Lea smiled brightly at the other girl. She liked Susie, figuring she understood what being a fluffer was like. “Yeah, Tim’s great!”

Susie nodded in agreement. “He’s very polite.”

Lea smiled again. “Uh uh. He makes me feel really special, too.”

Susie blinked at her, her brows furrowing. “Special? What do you mean?”

Lea flushed, turning her soda can around in her hands. “Well, y’know, he’s always so courteous about making me feel good, too, and he’s so sweet when he kisses me and stuff.”

Susie’s eyes widened in apparent shock. “When he what?” she squeaked.

Lea glanced up at the other girl. “What is it?”

“How long has he been doing stuff like that?” Susie demanded, leaning over the table and examining Lea like she was a museum exhibit.

Lea blinked. “Uhhh… well, he kissed me the first time I was here. The other stuff kinda just escalated from there. Is that, like, not normal or something?”

“Dude,” Susie enunciated slowly, “that is the literal opposite of normal. The actors never kiss the fluffers, let alone touch them. I don’t know if they’re even allowed to.”

Lea’s eyes widened. “Oh,” she squeaked. “I… I didn’t know that.”

Susie looked her up and down. “Yeah, I can kinda see it, actually.”

Lea frowned in confusion. “See what?”

The other girl grinned and took a sip of her drink. “Something tells me you’ll figure it out.”

“Nobody ever tells me anything,” Lea grumbled into her own soda.

Like most New York City apartments, the one Lea shared with her best friend, Sam, was tiny. She was lucky to have her own room. And even so, she still paid fifteen hundred a month.

Tim’s apartment, however, in no way resembled Lea’s shoebox apartment for a number of reasons. The first was that Tim’s apartment was significantly more than four times the square footage of hers. It also had four bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, plus a half bath that was literally the same size of the one bathroom she shared with Sam. Its kitchen—which had no less than six burners—was actually big enough to turn around in, had a breakfast table, and a dining separate room to boot.

Tim adored his apartment, mostly because it overlooked the Empire State Building, which was a fact he was weirdly proud of. 

Presently, they were curled up under a blanket on the chaise in his bedroom, watching TV. He had his arm around her and was holding her close, the way he often did.

“Lea,” he said suddenly.

She sighed, pausing the show and turning to scold him. “You don’t just interrupt Avatar, Tim,” she told him, completely ignoring the fact that the way he was looking at her made her stomach flutter and Susie’s words race through her mind. “I’ll have to rewind in order to fully appreciate Katara kicking ass.”

He frowned. “Sorry, I just… I have to ask you something.”

She pursed her lips. “Okay…?”

“Do you ever think about work, like… outside of work?” His voice was quieter than normal, and she wondered why, what he was talking about.

Blinking in confusion, she said, “Err, yeah. I talked to Susie earlier. I was thinking maybe I could ask her to hang out sometime.”

He shook his head, curls falling over his eyes. “No, I mean, like…” He took a deep breath, and she wondered what had him acting so damn anxious. He was never anxious. Dude was confidence personified, so what the hell? Finally, he continued, “When you’re not at work, do you ever think about what you and I do at work?”

Her heart stuttered in her chest. Or maybe it froze. She wasn’t entirely sure. “Uhhhhh…” She gulped. “W— why do you ask?”

Tim looked straight at her when he said, “Because I do. I think about it all the time.”

Her face flamed at the idea of him thinking about the things they did—the things they said—in places that weren’t the studio. “Oh.” She had no idea what to say other than that.

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, depending on how one looked at it, Tim filled the silence. “I think about how gorgeous you are, how intelligent and funny and interesting you are, the way you touch me and kiss me and moan my name when I make you cum, how you taste and what your body looks like, how soft you are. How good you feel. I think about what it would be like if I could hold you like this whenever I wanted, if I could wake up every day with you in my arms and kiss you, maybe even fuck you, if you’d let me.”

There was static in her brain. She couldn’t think. Why was he saying these things? “Is… is that why you treat me differently than the other fluffers?”

He furrowed his brow. “There are no other fluffers. There’s only you.”

Lea shook her head impatiently. “No, like, how you’ve treated others before me. How the other actors treat their fluffers. Susie told me that how you treat me is… unusual.”

“It is unusual,” he said simply.

“Then why are you, like…” She couldn’t complete her thought, so instead she just ended with, "Why?”

Tim looked at her for a long moment, and then he bluntly told her, “Because I like you. I like you a lot.”

Was she breathing? She wasn’t entirely certain she was breathing. She may not have been. With a gulp, she managed to squeak out, “Like… as a friend, or…?”

He snorted lightly, his arm finally leaving her. “I do like you as a friend, yeah,” he agreed with a nod. “Adore you, actually. But I adore you as a whole hell of a lot more than a friend, too.”

She couldn’t speak. Her mind was reeling from this information. He liked her? As more than a friend?

How? Moreover, why? She knew he found her attractive for some weird reason (Lea was fully aware that she was decently cute, okay, there was nothing wrong with her appearance, strictly speaking, but she didn’t think she was as sexy as he seemed to find her), but for him to have romantic-type feelings for her…

Well, he’d always been a weirdo, hadn’t he?

“How do you feel about me?” he pressed when she remained silent. “I know sucking my dick turned you on enough for you to touch yourself—“ she sputtered in embarrassment at that— “but how do you actually feel about me? Do you like me, too?”

Lea wrung her hands in her lap anxiously. She probably shouldn’t admit to having feelings for him. It was inconvenient, and she didn’t want to be vulnerable with anyone in that sense, let alone someone of his profession. Not that she had any issues with sex work, of course, she just knew he could never truly love her and also sleep with other girls.

But he knew her too well for him to see through a lie, didn’t he?

Well, shit.

“Y— yeah,” she mumbled out, wishing very much that she could disappear.

Tim took her hand in his then, reaching up to cup her cheek in his palm and lifting her face to his. He was grinning at her, looking entirely too pleased with himself, and then he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

She arched into him without really meaning to, and before she knew it, she found herself in his lap. He was kissing her neck—no, wait, he was giving her a hickey—and gripping her ass, squeezing roughly.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy,” Tim groaned. “Been thinkin’ about this for months, sweetheart.”

“God, me too,” she admitted breathlessly.

“Tell me you want me,” he pleaded. “I’d give you anything, baby, just— if you want me inside you, I gotta hear you say it.”

She threaded her fingers into his hair. “I want you inside me, Tim.”

“Fuck,” he grunted, his grip on her ass tightening. “Want you, too, princess. Wanna fuck you so good you can’t even move.”

He trailed kisses down her neck, brushing against the collar of her light blue Burberry knit sweater and sliding his hands under the matching skirt to squeeze her ass over her pink Lise Charmel panties, encouraging her to roll her hips against his. “Yes,” she gasped out. “Fuck, that feels good—“

“I’ll bet it does,” he chuckled. “Rub your pretty little clit against me, sweetheart. You feel how hard I am for you?”

“Uh huh,” Lea whined, leaning her head back as he unbuttoned the top buttons of her sweater.

“Loved how wet you got from my dick in your mouth, baby,” he growled. “Just wait till you feel what it’s like to have it in you, to get fucked nice and hard.”

He undid the rest of the buttons, revealing the pink satin of her bra and squeezing her breasts through it. “Oh, Tim,” she gasped out, arching into his hands.

“I know,” he murmured. “God, look at you. So needy. Can I have it, sweetheart? Will you let me have you?”

Lea nodded frantically, eager to take him inside her. Now that she knew he had feelings for her, too… well, how could she say no when she wanted him so desperately? “Want you,” she whined.

“I can feel how much you want me,” he chuckled, sliding her sweater from her shoulders. “You’ve soaked through your panties.” If she weren’t so turned on, this probably would’ve embarrassed her, but she didn’t have enough blood left in her brain for embarrassment. “Come to bed with me, baby. I’ll make you feel so good, take such good care of you.”

She rocked her hips again, stimulating her clit. “Yes, please.”

Tim picked her up and stood, and she squealed with delight, giggling and wrapping her arms around his neck. He strolled over to the foot of the bed and dropped her onto it. “Take your clothes off,” he murmured, his fixed on her breasts as he yanked his shirt over his head, followed by his sweatpants.

“You’re not wearing underwear,” she observed shakily.

“It would seem I’m not,” he agreed before observing, “Your clothes aren’t off yet.”

“R— right,” she muttered, swiftly undoing her bra and pulling it off, followed by her skirt and panties. Tossing them onto the floor, she glanced up at him, flushing at the blatant desire in his gaze.

“You’re un-fucking-real,” he growled, crawling over her and caging her body in with his. Leaning down on his forearms and cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her, pressing the length of his bare body against her own. “Perfect tits,” he murmured against her lips, squeezing her breasts momentarily before trailing a hand down between them to rub at her. “Perfect pussy.” 

He spread her legs with a gentle hand on her knees, and she leaned up to kiss him. She felt as if she’d die if he didn’t touch her, didn’t kiss her.

“Tim,” she manage to gasp out, “please, I want—“

“I know what you want,” he murmured, sucking another hickey into her neck. “I’ll give it to you, Lea, don’t you worry.” He rubbed her clit in slow circles for a few seconds before freezing. “Wait, fuck— lemme get a condom—“

“I don’t want you to use a condom,” she interjected hurriedly. “You’re— I mean, you get tested all the time, don’t you?”

Tim pushed himself off from her, examining her features. “Yeah, I do. Once a week.”

She licked her lips, stomach fluttering at the idea of him inside her, the two of them linked together without any barriers between them. “I’m on birth control,” Lea breathed. “Please, Tim. I want to… I want to feel you.”

“Fuck,” he grunted, jerking down to kiss her hungrily. “Anything you want, sweetheart.”

“I want you inside me,” she said into his mouth.

“Yes,” Tim groaned, sliding two long, slender fingers into her and curling them. “Let me just… let me get you ready for me, okay? Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I don’t care if you hurt me,” she insisted, rolling her hips up into his hand. “Just— please—“

“I care if I hurt you, though,” he told her with a soft chuckle. “You’re a hell of a lot more than a quick fuck to me, y’know?” She tensed at that, but he continued. “You’re important to me, and I really, really like you.” He cupped her cheek with one of his hands. “Sex with you will be amazing, I know it will be, but it’s more than just sex to me, and I need you to know that. I need to know that it’s more than just sex to you, too.”

She smiled up at him. He could be so sweet. “Don’t be stupid. Of course it’s more than that to me.”

Tim kissed her then, groaning when she returned it and fisting a hand in her hair. She cupped the back of his head as he took her bottom lip between his teeth and gasped into his mouth when he resumed fingering her.

“Want you,” she begged. “Please, Tim, I want you so bad—“

“Fuckin’ hell, Lea,” he muttered, pulling his fingers out of her. “Are you sure you’re ready for me to—“

“Yes I’m sure,” she cut him off impatiently. “I am absolutely, positively, one thousand percent sure.”

“Okay, okay,” he conceded with an affectionate chuckle as he guided himself to her entrance. “God, you’re soaked.”

“You were just fingering me,” she pointed out, blushing.

“Mhm,” he confirmed, “and that was almost as hot as…” He paused, slipping the head of him inside her. “…This.” He groaned, burying his face in her neck. “Holy fucking— good god, Lea.” He slid further in until she gasped in discomfort, making him pause and lift his face up to examine her expression. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she told him, wincing. “It just… stings.”

“We just need to get you used to it, baby,” he assured her gently, stroking her cheek. “It’ll get better once you’re used to it.”

“If you say so,” she muttered.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

Lea shook her head. “No, you can keep going.”

It took awhile, but eventually, he was fully seated inside her, panting against her neck with exertion. “Jesus Christ,” Tim gasped. “You feel so fucking good.”

“I— I do?” she asked, somewhat surprised. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, exactly.

“You’re so tight,” he groaned, lifting himself up to kiss her hungrily. “Tell me when I can move, alright?”

“Go ahead,” she said with a slight nod.

He pulled out a bit, thrusting back in with a slow, controlled exhalation of breath. “How’s it feel?”

Lea considered this. “It feels… weird.”

“What do you mean?”

She furrowed her brow, trying to think of how to word it (which was no small feat when a guy she adored so much was literally inside her). “I feel… full. Stretched.”

He smirked. “Both of those words are accurate, yes.” He thrust again, the movement slow, gentle. “You’re full of me, and I’m stretching you out.” Another thrust, and it… it was starting to feel less uncomfortable. It was starting to feel good. She inhaled sharply, and he asked, “Any better?”

Nodding jerkily, Lea wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in close. “Don’t stop, please.”

“I won’t,” he promised, thrusting again. “Not unless you want me to. Do— do you like it?” 

Before she could answer, he thrust again, and she was certain it felt good that time. The feeling of fullness—of being stretched—was no longer uncomfortable, it was delicious, and she wanted more of it. “Y— yes,” she forced out in between gasps. “It feels… oh, fuck, just don’t stop—“

He kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth and grasping her hips firmly. His fingers dug into her skin, holding her against the mattress. It was almost as if his grip on her was him trying to ground himself, control his actions.

One of his hands slid up her side to squeeze her breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers, and she moaned into his mouth, trying to lift her pelvis to meet his. “Hold still,” he scolded teasingly, trailing kisses down the flushed column of throat. “Stop squirming.”

“I can’t,” Lea admitted, her voice practically a whine. “Feels so good, I can’t— god, Tim—“

“I know, sweetheart,” he reassured her with a hoarse chuckle. “You feel good, too.”

“Didn’t you say you wanted it—ah!—harder?”

Tim squeezed her breast again, twisting her nipple more roughly this time. “It’s your first time,” he explained, panting, “I gotta be gentle with you.”

“I don’t want you to be gentle,” she insisted. “I want you to show me what you like. Whatever you wanna do to me, that’s what I want.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, fisting a hand in her hair, the tug at her scalp stinging in a way she found more enjoyable than she probably should’ve. “God, you’re fuckin’ perfect. You sure you want it rougher?”

“Yes,” Lea said immediately. “Yes, please.” His achingly slow thrusts were beginning to drive her insane.

The hand in her hair tightened, and she inhaled sharply at the sensation. His other hand squeezed her hip as he pulled out of her, and when he pushed back in again, he slammed in.

She moaned loudly, her back arching off the mattress. Tim leaned down and caught her nipple in his mouth, pulling it gently between his teeth as he withdrew again, only to slam his hips back against hers. The abrupt movement made him release her nipple, his teeth scraping it in the process, which was a delicious mix of pleasure and pain.

“Rough enough for you?” he grunted out in between thrusts.

“Mhm,” she gasped, trailing her hands up his arms. He had more muscle than she would’ve expected or someone so skinny, but when he flexed, it was really quite pronounced.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he told her. “Touch me. I’m yours.”

Something about those words lit fire in her veins, and she smiled up at him in delight, only for the expression to be cut off when he thrust into her again. Trailing her fingertips along his collarbones, up his neck and across the sharp lines of his jaw, Lea relished in the way he leaned into her touch, turning his head so as to kiss her palm.

“Tim, I—“ She couldn’t finish her statement, because he’d slammed into her again, reaching down to grasp her hips firmly. This time, though, there was no contrast between his hold on her and the way he moved inside her. This time, his fingers dug into her, hurting just a little bit as he pressed his palms against her pelvis so as to hold her down, and it matched the rough pace he’d set perfectly. 

If it weren’t for his hold on her, she would’ve been scooting across the mattress, so it was probably a good thing, but when he held her down that way, it made her want to buck her hips up against his. She attempted to do so, but he was stronger than he looked. She couldn’t lift her pelvis.

“You take it so well, Lea,” he praised, his voice low and rough. “Take my cock so well, babydoll.” When she did nothing but whine and try to buck her hips again, he slammed into her punishingly with a dark chuckle. “Be good for me. Good little princess, taking my dick like this. You like getting fucked, don’t you?” Still, she could only whine in response, so he gripped her jaw firmly, leaning in to kiss her with a gentle slowness that was almost strange in contrast to how roughly he handled her. “You’d better tell me you like it when I fuck you if you don’t want me to stop,” he chided softly, his lips brushing hers.

Suddenly terrified that he would actually stop, she immediately forced out, “I like it when you fuck me.” The words were somewhat jumbled, her voice a bit raspy, but it seemed to do satisfy him.

“Good girl,” Tim praised, pounding into her. “Oh fuck, Lea, been dreaming about this pussy. Feels so fuckin’ good.”

The hand on her jaw migrated to her hair, and he yanked her head to the side so as to mouth wetly at her neck, scraping his teeth over the sensitive flesh. When he started working on another hickey, she threaded her fingers into his hair, holding him against her as he fucked her.

“More,” Lea whined, undulating her hips.

“If you want more,” he panted, “stop fuckin’ squirming.”

She barely registered the words, though; he felt too good inside her. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, fuck that’s so good—“

“Greedy girl,” Tim growled, kissing one of the hickeys he’d given her. “Feel your pussy clenching around me, sweetheart, d’you wanna cum?”

“Yes,” she moaned. “I wanna cum, Tim, I wanna cum, please make me cum—“

“Hmmm,” he hummed, considering this as he propped himself up to examine her features. “You gonna be a good girl for me?”

Before he’d even finished the sentence, she was already nodding eagerly. “I’ll be good!” she promised. “I’ll be good for you, I swear, I’ll do anything you want!”

“All I want,” he told her, fucking her slower now, each thrust deep and hard, “is to fuck my fill of you whenever I feel like it.”

She nodded again. “Yes, yes, please—“

He eyed her breasts, squeezing them roughly with one hand. “Look at the way they bounce, Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered.

“Tim,” she whined desperately, needing to cum so badly she felt as if she’d die. 

“You are greedy, aren’t you?” he smirked. “Alright, baby. I’ll make you cum.”

Nearly sobbing in relief when he reached between them, she moaned as he began to rub her clit in hard, fast circles. “God, Tim, I—“

“I know,” he crooned in her ear. “I know you’re gonna cum, sweetheart. You’re gonna cum all over my dick, aren’t you?”

“I want— I want you to cum, too,” she gasped out. “Want you to cum inside me.”

He chuckled. “I’ll bet you do, you dirty little girl. Gonna let me fill you up with my cum, huh?”

“Yessssss,” she hissed, her eyes fluttering as she neared her peak. “God, I’m close, I’m gonna—“

“That’s it, babydoll,” he growled. “Cum for me, sweetheart.”

She came, moaning his name desperately.

Tim slammed his hips against hers repeatedly, fucking her roughly before he finally groaned and collapsed atop her.

“How was it?” he panted against her neck several minutes later.

“Huh?” she asked, too dazed to think.

“Your first time,” he clarified. “How was it?”

“Oh.” She blinked, turning the words over in her head until she could actually process them. “It was amazing.”

Lea felt him smile against her skin.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” she confirmed, wrapping tired arms around him.

“Glad you enjoyed it, too, then.”

“Mmm,” she hummed sleepily.

“You tired, baby?” he asked gently, sweetly. 

“Mhm.”

“Lemme clean you up and then you can sleep, alright?” He stood, and she whined as he pulled out of her. He shushed her with a kiss to her forehead. “Let me clean you up a little real quick.”

“Mmkay.”

She let him maneuver her body around and clean between her legs until he was satisfied. When he rejoined her in bed, he took her in his arms and settled the covers over them.

She yawned, sleepily nuzzling in closer to him.

His arms tightened around her, and he pressed a kiss to her scalp.

She was out before she could formulate another coherent thought.

Tag list

@ellamaianderson @shika1200 @blackqueenstarseed1 @gatoenlaciudad @esmaada @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @softhecreator @timolaurence @timmymyluv @oddlyenoughiamweird @leecrunchybones @s-we-e-t-t-ea @almostg @leespparker @bubblebuttwade @glizzymcguirex @starberry-cake

To be added, please ask 💗

[justicerikai]

Charisma House - Superhuman Sharehouse Story “Charisma” - #99 Xmas Present

Please read alongside listening to the drama track on Youtube.

Let me know if I missed something!

TL note:

As pointed out in the replies of this post, Nakagami's 来ちゃった is a simple line meaning lit. "I came without meaning to". However, it's also something commonly deployed as a cliche line in the context of a girlfriend visiting their boyfriend on a whim. It, naturally, can be used in a regular, non-romance context too to indicate an aspect of playfulness (the context I was more familiar with, so the potential double meaning was lost on me). I had translated with the latter interpretation, so I corrected it with pulling it slightly into the other direction, but trying to keep both at play.

(The seven of them all having fun)

Iori: Whoosh~! Ahahaha!

Terra: Hahaha!

Amahiko: Hup, hahahaha!

Terra: Beauty!

Amahiko: Sexy!

Iori: Merryyyyy

Iori, Terra & Amahiko: Christmaaas!

Iori, Terra & Amahiko: Ahahahaha!

(Sarukawa zipzooming on the ice)

Rikai: Ah! Saru! Watch out! Be more mindful when skating!

Sarukawa: Haaah? Shuddup moron

Sarukawa: Eeh!? The fuck you wearing a helmet for!?

Rikai: You wear one too

Sarukawa: Hell no dude!

Rikai: Listen and put it on, come on!

Sarukawa: No way, I ain’t, I don’t need it

Rikai: It’ll be a huge problem if you fall over, you’ll hurt yourself!

Fumiya: Ohse, everyone’s pretty amazing

Ohse: Yes

Fumiya: If you fall you’ll hurt yourself, do they know what they’re doing

Ohse: Right

(Terra skating right in front of Ohse and Fumiya)

Terra: Hey, what's up with you two?

Fumiya: Don’t come here

Amahiko: We’ll escort you

Ohse: No need to fuss over a piece of shit

(Terra, Amahiko and Iori pulling them along)

(Ohse and Fumiya resisting)

(Fumiya pushed to skate by Terra & Iori)

Fumiya: Woah, ooaaaooaaa aaaa aaaaaa

Terra & Iori: Ahahaha!

(Ohse pushed to skate by Amahiko & Sarukawa)

Ohse: Wooaa! Wawawawa!

Amahiko & Sarukawa: Ahahaha!

(Fumiya and Ohse grappling on each other to keep their balance)

Fumiya: Oi, Ohse don’t shake, keep it steadya aaaa aaAaaa

The five of them: Watch out watch out! You two good there!?

(PIIIIIIIII)

Rikai: DAMNIT! I told you it’s dangerous!? What do you think will happen if you hurt…Oh, oh oh!

(Rikai falls on his ass)

Rikai: Gah!

Everyone except Ohse: Hahaha!!

Ohse: Rikai-san, are you okay!?

Rikai: My buttocks…!

The five of them: Ahahaha!!!

(Torahime trying to make a phone call)

Torahime:  ….

Torahime: (...Sensei’s not picking up)

Torahime: (No way he isn’t mad about me missing Kusanagi Rikai’s break, maybe)

Torahime: (But I didn’t expect it to happen at 6 am in the morning! That’s way too early! I was sleeping!)

Torahime: (...Either way, need to make sure I won’t let a break slip through my fingers ever again.)

Torahime: (If that happens, Sensei will dispose of me.)

Iori: WAAAA!!

Torahime: (!? A break!?)

(Sarukawa pushing Iori from behind as they skate)

Sarukawa: Hahahaha!

Iori: Saru-chan that’s dangerous! I’m good on my own! Seriously! ….!!

Torahime: (N-not it…)

Terra, Ohse & Rikai: GYAAAAH!!

Torahime: (!? A break!?)

(Amahiko being half-naked from the waist up)

Terra: Don’t strip, Amahiko!

Rikai: What are you doing!

Amahiko: Ahahaha, it’s cold

Fumiya: Hahaha

Torahime: (Geez! Stop misleading me!)

Torahime: (Tch, what is about these bunch of idiots that have Sensei’s… I don’t get it at all.)

(Everyone having fun)

(Torahime looking from afar)

Torahime: …..

Iori: Everyone here? I’ll take the picture now~

Iori: Say, self-sacrifice! Contribution?

Everyone: Free serviceeee!!

(Sound of camera snap)

Iori: Okay~!

Terra: Wait, can we do it again?

The six of them: Huh?

Terra: Terra-kun’s gotta like, be way more in front

The six of them: No no no

Terra: Yes, take it again~ Solipsism, vainglory, Terra-kuuun! Hey, did you take the pic yet?

(Torahime still trying to make a phone call, looking bitter)

Torahime: ………..

Rikai: The secret santa! Has started~!

The six of them: Woooo!!

Fumiya: Puff puff puff~~

Amahiko: Bang bang bang~

Ohse: Shing shing shing~

Amahiko: Bang bang~

Fumiya: Puff puff~

Ohse: Shing shing~

Amahiko: Bang bang bang~

Ohse: Shing shing shing~

Sarukawa: The hell we exchanging gifts for, fuckin’ lame

Terra: Ah! I forgot!

The five of them: ?

Terra: Didn’t we like, forget to tell Tora-san about the secret santa?

The five of them: Ah!

(Everyone apologizing individually)

Torahime: Eh? No no no! Please don’t mind me!

Torahime: I’m a mere freeloader! I totally, absolutely don’t mind!

Torahime: And I was the only one that wasn’t called to join the group’s photo from earlier too, so….

The six of them: ………

The six of them: We’re sorry! So sorry!!

Torahime: It’s okay! I don’t mind at all! I’m a freeloader! It’s presumptuous to think I’d be included!

Rikai: Tora-san, please come over here.

Amahiko: Let’s all enjoy Christmas together

Torahime: Ah, is that so

Iori: Tora-san

Torahime: ?

Iori: Express home delivery dropped by, it was addressed to you

Torahime: …Home delivery?

(A gigantic cardboard box was left behind)

Fumiya, Sarukawa, Terra, Iori, Ohse: …Huh… tch…

(Sarukawa and Fumiya kicking it)

Torahime: Ah, please stop. Don’t kick it, Sarukawa-san, Fumiya-san

(Sound of a violent kick)

Torahime: Hey now!

Amahiko: What happened?

Fumiya: Tora-san got a christmas present

Amahiko: From who?

Torahime: ….Prob… probably from… my girlfriend, I believe.

Amahiko: Eh!?

Torahime: I’m… I’m sorry

The seven of them: EEEH!? WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?

Torahime: HUH!?

(The seven of them all pretending to note care)

Torahime: Uh… um.. No, it’s just…

Sarukawa: Actually if you got a girlfriend then go to her

The six of them: Yes! As he says! Why are you not going back home!

Torahime: Ah, um…

Fumiya: Hey, let’s go eat cake

(Everyone agreeing)

Sarukawa: Io, does Tora get a slice?

Iori: Nope

Terra: What a shame

Everyone: Hahahaha…!

(Ohse standing infront of Torahime and threatening him)

Ohse: Snarl!

Torahime: Eh?

(Ohse runs away)

Torahime: (....Seems that I probably stepped on an unexpected landmine.)

Torahime: (Can I even stay at this house anymore…. More importantly, what is this?)

Torahime: (The handwriting… It has to be from Sensei…!)

Torahime: (This Christmas present is probably camouflage of some kind, I wonder what’s inside…)

(Torahime gently opens the box and something makes a move inside)

Torahime: !?

(Something pops out of the box)

Torahime: !?!?

Nakagami: Guess fate brought me here

The two of them: …………….

Torahime:  (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!?)

Nakagami: (Charisma House infiltration: Complete)

[xamaxenta]

Ok so my personal headcannon is (and I’ll admit it doesn’t really fit the fuck nasty vibe of ur tumblr) is that monkey ds have a habit of just spawning into existence and for them a partner to do so is optional. Garp was ‘found’ by his parent in a dog kennel on a marine base he visited. Pre rocks death garp spawned dragon in the middle of a fight with either roger or rocks or both (and that it was either of them kinda contributed to dragons innate fuck the government style). And dragon spawned luffy in a huge storm at sea juuuuuust when the sun broke through the clouds.

And it leads to a really funny circumstance that luffy will sometimes comment “I hope I don’t get my child before I become pirate king.” And the straw hats are really confused and maybe even try to explain why it’s probably not gonna happen but ultimately don’t get what luffy is trying to say and never will until luffys child appears someday. Which is gonna be a shock.

It also royally screws up aces understanding of where babies come from despite being a slut until deuce managed to clear that up

I genuinely dont know where to start with this but “fuck nasty vibe of your blog” is a title for sure and one I am honoured to be given makes me feel for you all tbh im sorry, i bet this place stinks like dumpster lol with Ace sitting pretty at the top

Luffys kid just shows up and hes like damn so this is monkey d goofy, goofy this is my crew and the crew in general are like HUH?

Ace actually doesnt know where babies come from, he just thought Makino was fat 😭 dadan told him to git goin when he tried to find out so he was sort of at a loss

Several years later and he and Deuce adopt each other as besties for life in the gay and platonic way, Ace randomly says somethint about his kid and Deuce is like im begging ur pardons a thousand times but arent u also a kid and ace is like wow shuddup i dont have a kid yet and Deuce is just??? Ok dude so elaborate?

Ace why dont u stop using nerd people words

Deuce; explain

Ace: one day my kids gonna show up

Deuce: ok???

Ace: and i really hope its not when im doing sometin super uncool

Deuce; doesnt maternity care exist to avoid… such situations?

Ace: maternity? That a food?

Deu:??????

Ace: whatever point is i dont wanna be taking the shit of the century when ace jr shows up

Deuce: Ace im being sincere, and i dont mean to poke fun, but are you fully aware of how babies are made and born?

Ace: they just spawn in right ? Thats what happened to my lil bro according to gramps

Deuce:

Deuce:

Deuce: bro

[catnipster69]

A Little Pampering

Heavy clouds obscured the sunrise, promising a rainy day, which was fine because Dean intended to fall straight into bed anyway. They rolled into the motel parking lot after an all-night hunt, dirty and bruised—even the Impala was coated in dried mud—and Sam woke from his nap when Dean shut off the engine.

Dean dragged his feet as he approached the motel door. After attempting the key a couple of times with his eyes closed, Sam grabbed his hand and worked the key free. Eyes still closed, Dean stumbled into the room and started to tip towards his bed.

Sam grabbed the back of Dean’s collar and insisted, “Dude, don’t even think about skipping a shower.”

“Shuddup.” Dean was a good five degrees from vertical and starting to get strangled by his collar, so Sam grabbed Dean under the arms like he was a giant baby and manhandled him into the bathroom. “OK, OK!” Dean batted ineffectually at Sam.

“You’re acting like a giant baby,” Sam tutted. Then he started unbuttoning Dean’s shirt and stripping him. When Dean was down to his underwear, and his jeans were puddled around his boots, Sam turned on the bath. “Babies take baths.”

Dean lifted one eyelid to look at his brother askance, then he sat on the toilet lid and held out his booted feet. In for a penny, in for a pound. Sam unlaced Dean’s boots and pulled them off, followed by his jeans.

Sam checked the water. “Not too hot for baby. Come on.” He hefted Dean up from a sitting position and bent down to pull off Dean's boxers.

Dean’s boner sprang free.

Sam sighed. “You’re so predictable.”

Dean grinned. He got a thorough washing and went to bed clean and happy.