#dude just knows how to make me look good in a way that i like
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Cleo sits next to Scott, her head in her hands, and says—
—“I really thought it’d be different this time.” BigB sighs. He kicks his foot. Ren is, at least, a sympathetic ear. He understands these things, or at least he understands that it’s hard to be alone. “I mean, I know you don’t trust those guys…”
“I don’t,” agrees Ren.
“But they reached out, man. And I thought, well,”—
—“I could always bury the hatchet, you know?” Cleo says. “It’s been what, how many games? How many years? And I can recognize when I’m as much of the problem as someone else.”
“You had a reason to be a problem. I love that you’re a problem,” Scott says supportively. Pearl snorts in the corner.
“I’m good at being a problem!” Cleo says
“I know, you are,” Scott agrees.
“But it’s like—I don’t know. Maybe I was ready to be done being angry! Maybe I…”—
—“…just wanted a change.”
BigB is quiet. He lets the thought sit in the air. Ren, normally a man determined to fill silences, at least understands the value of a dramatic pause; he doesn’t say anything yet.
Martyn, however, has grown a bit more impatient over the sessions. "What kind of change? You two have been weird about each other for years."
BigB is quiet a moment more. "Did you know that—Ren, did you know that you were the first and last person to show me trust?"
"Uh, thank you, dude," Ren says.
"But like, the thing is, people, they stabbed us then, man. And it's just..."—
—"...he didn't have to! That's what gets me! He could have like... said anything to me? I don't ask much! I offered him my hand! I said, sure man. I'm gonna forgive you, just this once. We can try again. And he just—he tried to kill you! Why?"
"I mean, Scott is one of the people with the most lives," Impulse says reasonably. "And he didn't betray you."
"That's not how teams work, Impulse," Cleo says. "You can't just get rid of the teammate you don't like. The team is only as strong..."—
—"...as weak as it's component parts."
Ren and Martyn stare.
"Jesus, BigB," Martyn says.
BigB looks away. "Yeah, um, well. I don't think that's that stupid. It's not about you two, really. And this is a death game, right? I didn't attack her. It's just... I wasn't going to, really. I wasn't..."—
—"...he was going to, that's the thing. He's always going to do... this!"
"Maybe that's what you get for reaching out to a traitor," Scott says lightly.
Impulse looks away. Pearl snorts again. Cleo sighs.
"Look, I have a long memory, but if I let that decide everything I do forever it would eat me. And people have their reasons. Impulse, look Scott in the eyes, he's not even the reason you have that reputation. Pearl, you're a part of the team. That's the thing. People can change. People..."—
—"...can't change, really." BigB shrugs. "She should know better by now."
"Uh, dude, should we know better?" Ren asks.
"Nah. I mean, Martyn's worse than I am," BigB says cheerfully.
"Martyn," Ren says, sounding vaguely disappointed. Martyn crosses his arms.
"What? You're the one who said I had evil in me. If you take in a snake, you can't be mad if it bites you. If you take in a scorpion..."—
—"...you can hope it learns not to sting you. I don't know. Maybe it's just in his nature."
Pearl makes a strange noise. "And what's in my nature?"
Cleo sighs. She steps over and throws an arm around Pearl's shoulder.
"As long as you don't bite me? I'm willing to learn." Pearl leans into Cleo's arm slightly. Cleo can't help but wonder, some days, how much of the way she flinches back again is her fault. BigB isn't the only one that Cleo hopes can change his nature. Otherwise...
"I'm not actually a traitor, despite what everyone claims," Impulse says, apropos of nothing.
"You know, you should pick better friends," Scott says.
"Nah," Cleo says. She doesn't elaborate. She just—
—breathes. BigB just breathes.
"It was never going to work, anyway," he says.
"Sometimes I wonder if everyone broke while I wasn't looking," Ren says quietly, sadly. BigB has no answer for that.
#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#bigbst4tz2#zombiecleo#a bee fic#trafficfic#UHHHH NOT SURE HOW WELL THIS ONE TURNED OUT BUT I WANTED TO TRY THIS DUELING CONVERSATION THING#anyway wailing about this BIGB WHY. CLEO WHY. WEH.
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STRAY KIDS REACTION….
… to boyfriend!reader being angry and they find it hot (nsfw warning) (hyung line!)
ᡴꪫ CHAN… was extremely similar to you. you’re a lay-backed person, sure sometimes you have episodes where you’re not exactly in the mood to socialize but still, you’re charismatic and let things slide more than he does. you always say it’s because you don’t have energy to entertain that stuff.
yet, seeing you angry — TRULY angry, was something he’d never think he’d get to see. so color him surprised when he hears you shout and pace. the furrow of your brows, your darkened eyes. you looked… good. that tone, he’d never heard it and… it stirred something in the pit of his stomach.
“something wrong?” he asks after a while of eye fucking you.
“company said i need to go on a damn hiatus because some shitheads are spreading a rumor. i could care less, why do they have to make it seem like i’m anxious or whatever?”
chan blinks. “rumor?”
“yeah, super stupid. all i did was call them to say i wasn’t happy with how our last show ended. dude, they literally couldn’t get my headset to work, i had to wing the timing and stuff. their lack of work effort pisses me off.” you groan.
“i know but…” chan pauses when you glare at him. he swallows, “hey, i mean a hiatus is good. you get to rest.”
“i don’t want to rest-“
“i get to have you all to myself without worrying about you missing out on your schedule.”
“if you’re bored, play with me. if you’re angry, take it out on me. you’ll have all the time to do so.” he grins.
you blink, “i- what?” and you can’t even be angry anymore… just frustrated. but chan will also take that.
ᡴꪫ MINHO… had the habit of annoying you and frustrating you sometimes, but never actually making you angry. as idol’s there is a lot of things that can drive you mad. minho for example hates wardrobe malfunctions. fans went crazy over some clips of him angry and upset over a few outfits and so have you.
you never really cared for much, at the end of the day you get a nice paycheck and you’re good to go. still, that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job. so when he sees that your mic isn’t working and you’re more than upset at the lack of resolve from the sound techs…. he simply cannot look away.
even when you get off the stage, you’re glaring and absolutely not in the mood. everything you do is with anger— ripping off your headset, wiping off your sweat, loosening your outfit. goodness, you look delectable.
“you mad?” he asks teasingly, of course he has to tease.
“i’m not in the mood minho.”
oh! that anger had a pretty tone. “fuck,” he breathes out, pressing himself closer to you, “you gonna take it out on me?” and your eyes bored into him.
he definitely didn’t regret it later.
ᡴꪫ CHANGBIN…. didn’t know you could get angry. he’s only seen you be all soft and gushy. he’s seen you be defensive and stern but never angry. he’s literally making his way to the studio when he hears your voice boom outside the door. worried, he walks in and sees how your standing and yelling at the other producer.
“what’s-?”
“-how long it’s taken us to keep these files and you forget to save them?!”
the producer fidgets, “doesn’t change have a copy? he always has a copy-“
“THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE COPY IS THE SAME AS WHAT WE WERE ADDING TO IT YESTERDAY! you can’t recreate something that was authentic!” you pace, pulling at your hair, “shit man, i worked so hard on that!”
“y/n calm down,” he tries, “what file is it-?”
“changbin, i literally cannot right now.” and you leave.
in the end the file wasn’t deleted, just misplaced in the wrong folder to which it was saved. still, the lack of clarity pissed you off. you didn’t want to work that day and changbin was trying so hard to coax you. yet, seeing you mad was so good for some reason. changbin knew he could make you feel better (totally not feeling you with his hands? and you being angry was making things fun.
ᡴꪫ HYUNJIN…. doesn’t remember a time where you’ve been angry. he’s also never even wanted to. he doesn’t like noise and he remembers how you always say you blow up when angry. hence, when he hears you slam your fist on the desk, he jumps. you’re dramatic like him, so he tried not to think much of it except…
“are you kidding me?” he hear you say with an ominous tone. low and sultry, makes him pause. “so you’re saying that you’re wasting my damn time.”
he peeks over at, seeing you frown and glare at the wall while on the phone. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on you… his mind starts to wander…. would that expression look at him? you’re talking, angry, clearly. and it’s so…
“why are you angry?” he asks when you hang up with an insult and throw your phone of the desk.
“cus apparently i have to do everything myself. why the hell would you-“ and he zones out, watching your angrily rant.
you plop down on the chair, angry. he stands and walks over to you, desire in his gut. “baby don’t be mad…” “well i wouldn’t if they did what i was paying them to do.” “-let’s get your mind off that, yeah?”
and boy did he.
#kpop x male reader#x male reader#kpop x reader#kpop x top male reader#sub!idol#x male top reader#sub!kpop#kpop oneshots#stray kids x you#skz x gn reader#skz x male reader#skz x you#sub!stray kids#sub!skz#dom!reader#kpop reactions#stray kids headcanons#stray kids reactions#skz reactions#skz headcanons#kpop drabbles
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Warfare
You see, Marvel’s mentioned the Wisdom of Solomon before. The JL never really thought much about it. As a result, the JL just thinks Marvel has all these… interesting ideas but just never says anything about them. Though, there are a couple times the ideas are actually voiced. (They don’t know Billy is just parroting whatever Solomon or occasionally another God with tell him)
Like the time Batman and Marvel got stranded on a planet that was stuck in the middle of war. They were promised
Rebel Leader: “Do either of you have any ideas to bring to the table?”
Batman: “No. Marvel?”
Marvel: “Huh? Oh uh… well I could magic a plague into the water near them. You said they’re using it for their water source, right? Then, when they’re weak, we can go around and take them out.” *sounds hesitant*
Batman: “Hmm… That could be a good idea, but what sort of plague are we talking about?”
Marvel: “Cholera.”
Batman: “What.”
Marvel: “Cholera.”
Batman: “Marvel, that’s fatal.”
Marvel: “Oh.”
Batman: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Marvel: “Well, if we’re quick, it we can get to them before they die.”
Batman: *stares for a bit, holding back a sigh* “We don’t even know if Cholera will affect their biology the same way it does humans.”
Rebel Leader: “What is this Cholera?”
Batman: “It’s a deadly waterborne disease.”
Rebel Leader: “I see… And you’re unsure whether it will work with our physiology… might I propose a different disease?”
So yes, biological warfare, that’s our first thing. Batman proceeded to spend a lot of time convincing the Rebel Leader not to nearly kill an entire group of people with their version of Cholera.
Then there was the time Bruce and Marvel were working together and got held up in a shootout at a lab.
Marvel: *looking at the various chemicals in the lab* “Gosh, I remember my first exposure to chlorine gas.” *getting nostalgic* (He’s from the 1940s in this one, guys)
Batman: “You’ve been exposed to chlorine gas?”
Marvel: “Yeah, and let me tell you, those dang Nazis were horrified when it didn’t work on me. Don’t worry though, we’re gonna be making mustard gas instead.”
Batman: “Captain, we are not doing that.”
Marvel: “Why? We have all the available ingredients.”
Batman: “Marvel.” *puts a hand on his shoulder* “Mustard gas can be fatal.”
Marvel: “Oh.”
Batman: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Marvel: “My bad.”
*more silence*
Batman: “Is this why you always let others plan?”
Marvel: “Are you gonna look at me weird if I say yes?”
Batman: “Hn.” (Translation: Yes, but it won’t be visible through my cowl)
This incident checks chemical warfare off the list. Bruce is now concerned as to why most of Marvel’s ideas are either nearly fatal or just fatal.
Then there was the time Marvel went undercover with Bruce Wayne, not Batman for whatever reason. They then got attacked by pirates while on a ship trying to gather information about some supervillain.
Bruce and Marvel: *taken cover under a table while the pirates fire cannon balls at them*
Bruce: “Any ideas?” *peaks over the cover only for a cannonball to whiz right past his head*
Marvel: “I think I have one. So here’s what I’m thinking. I take out their mast, steal all their oars, and then push them out to sea and let them drift wherever.
Bruce: “That’s… Intense. Wouldn’t they starve if you just let them drift?”
Marvel: “I guess. If they’re not saved, I mean.”
Bruce: *stares with the most deadpan face* “How about I come up with a plan instead?”
Marvel: “You got it boss.”
And last but not least, the physical warfare.
By the way, Billy doesn’t know Bruce is the Bat. No, no, no, he just thinks the guy is someone Batman wants him to work with. He was a little surprised to see the dude act all brooding like Mr. Batman when he had heard from others that he was a party boy. Oh well, not his business. Meanwhile, Bruce doesn’t know Marvel thinks he’s just interacting with a capable civilian.
That last part was inspired by @helps-the-writing-brain-go’s reblog of this post. Thanks for letting me write with your idea :)
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#batman#bruce wayne
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Hey I think I asked you about your Detroit become human au before a bit ago but I love the idea so much! I know you’re super busy but if you can I would love to see more about it!
Sorry for asking about it again I’m just really interested in it. 😭🙏
No please don't be sorry I love to talk about it whenever I'm not creatively bankrupt!! I'm just sorry it took so long for me to actually think of new stuff to add
I had some of these doodles already prepared but never really finished them up until I came up with a cute little idea
I didn't think of where to put in Flapjack until I remembered that android animals existed, and then I had a brain blast moment where I realized that Hunter can still talk to Flapjack! They are little android buddies, they can interface and talk and be friends!! I think it would also help to make him feel a bit more comfortable with his identity as an android to be able to have his little buddy to have fun private conversations with. Camila introduces them (maybe he had gotten hurt by a previous owner and she found him and let Gus fix him up) and Hunter is a bit tentative about it at first, but Flapjack is adorable and sweet and quickly wins him over
I just now had the idea that Gus, since he's super into android stuff, would probably be a big resource for software and hardware difficulties. Oh, you fell and your arm is working kinda wonky? Call up Gus, he'll crack you open and take a look. The dude doesn't mind in the least, he freaking LOVES going down mechanical and coding rabbit holes to better understand how androids work. I like to think that if Hunter ever got hurt and chose not to accept help because of body/species dysphoria, Gus would be a really good resource for him to try and feel as normal as possible while he's getting fixed. Gus is his brother and he loves him and they're just good to each other okay? Gus would probably crack some jokes or something to get Hunter's mind off it, or infodump about android organs or something (and Hunter would be begrudgingly interested because they are nerds, and Hunter is interested in androids too underneath all the problems he has with deviancy. Like dude they're robots, what's not to love?)
Also some Gus being so over Hunter's "androids can't feel love" phase featuring Vee and Masha being very adorable and very obviously in love :) Hunter is a very silly stupid man. He will find any way to make literally everyone exempt from the terrible rules Philip fed him, except for himself
I'm trying to think of a potential situation that would parallel Hunter's possession, and I think it would probably be basically the same thing that happens in Connor's deviant path (when he deviates and joins the revolution as an ally) where Amanda (a separate AI in his programming that's basically how CyberLife keeps him in check) takes over Connor's programming last minute to try and put a stop to the revolution.
So my current thought is that Philip is basically using Hunter as a trojan horse. His main programming is to act and believe like he's a normal human but similar to Connor, he's basically a sleeper agent without knowing. I imagine that once Hunter gains access to his software (thanks to Vee and Gus), he starts finding programs and files that are labeled as pretty scary things. He shouldn't have to know the most efficient way to shut an android down or incapacitate a human.
If and when Philip finally goes looking for Hunter and sees the first android he's seen in Gravesfield besides Hunter (aka Vee), he's not going to take that well.
I haven't drawn anything for it but so far I'm thinking that he takes control of Hunter's programming, maybe through some taking advantage of his interfacing system, and locks him in his own head a la Connor and Amanda to sic him after Vee and Flapjack (assuming that Philip's main goal, similar to both canons, is to eradicate deviants). It's likely that his friends will try to apprehend him, Vee or Gus will try (and maybe fail a couple times) to delete the programming while Camila deals with Philip. The guy is old and decrepit and Camila would absolutely whoop his ass with the ease of swatting a fly.
Things will be fine; Vee is all good and they manage to delete whatever programming screwed with Hunter's control, but that kid is going to be HELLA anxious about interfacing again from then on since he's afraid of 1) losing his own control and 2) potentially passing the virus onto someone else. It could go two ways at that point: Hunter could either kill Flapjack since Flapjack is technically a deviant android and therefore a target, or we can be nice and let Flapjack live to help him heal from this brand-new trauma.
So yeah hopefully that sates some curiosity! I'm glad you're interested in it because I honestly really love to think of new stuff whenever my brain decides to work hahaha
#the owl house#toh au#toh dbh au#hunter toh#gus porter#camila noceda#toh hunter#digital art#toh fanart#fanart#my art#ask#doodle#flapjack#flapjack toh#gus toh#toh gus#vee noceda#toh masha#vee toh#philip wittebane
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HOTLINE BLING ★
( reader x yang jungwon )
IN WHICH: on a boring day, jungwon decides to call an unknown number, wanting to prank them. but it backfires.
read more !
‘ hello? ’
‘ hi, is this the young maternity center? ’
‘ no it’s me. keeho stop fucking bothering me ’
‘ who’s keeho? ’
‘ oh ’
‘ hello?! amir, i need you to deliver food immediately, i’m in the ice age. if you get here in under ten minutes, i will give you two dollars tip ’
‘ dude, whoever you are, stop this prank calling, i’m not in the mood ’
‘ do you not want your tip? ’
‘ goodbye ’
‘ hello bro, i’m travis scott, i need 200 dollars to get back to america ’
‘ oh really? how do i know you’re travis scott? ’
‘ fein fein fein fein fein ’
‘ shut up, stop calling me already, oh my god ’
‘ you literally asked me — ’
‘ listen! please don’t hang up on me! ’
‘ what do you want? ’
‘ i’m jungwon, what’s your name? ’
‘ nunya ’
‘ nunya…? ’
‘ none of your business ’
‘ it’s four in the morning, what could you possibly want jungwon ? ’
‘ …. ’
‘ hello? ’
‘ you remembered my name! — ’
‘ hey, i’m on my way to the east building on campus, giselle, are you sure macro is on class 2-B? ’
‘ now look who’s the one calling me ’
‘ oh, sorry, i got you mixed up with a friend from uni, didn’t realize ’
’ it’s okay, it happens… so, you’re an econ student? ’
‘ yeah, first year ’
‘ cool, cool. me too. well, not econ. i’m in art school. you know, i never got your name… ’
‘ yeah, because you don’t know who i am ’
‘ what’s your name? ’
‘ y/n ’
‘ now i know who you are ’
‘ takes more than that ’
‘ so. y/n, first year econ student, i have a preposition for you, one that you can’t deny ’
‘ what’s that? ’
‘ want to go out for coffee? ’
‘ …. ’
‘ hellooo ’
‘ are you dumb? you’re literally asking a stranger to meet you, what if i’m a criminal or something? you have absolutely no survival instincts ’
‘ so, do you wanna go? ’
‘ you’re paying? ’
‘ of course, i’ll make up for all the prank calls ’
‘ i don’t think anything will make up for that, but okay, maybe just a small part of it ’
‘ great. meet me at your uni’s entrance at 6 ’
‘ how would you know what uni i got to — ’
‘ i have my ways. maybe just a feeling ’
‘ you’re genuinely weird ’
‘ did you get back to your dorm safely? ’
‘ yeah, thanks for driving me back to the complex ’
‘ it’s nothing. thank you for accepting to meet up, i didn’t think you’d show up '
‘ why? ’
‘ survival instincts? ’
‘ right, well my survival instincts want me to go to sleep since i have classes all day tomorrow ’
‘ oh yeah, yeah, don’t let me keep you here ’
‘ wasn’t planning on it ’
‘ goodnight y/n ’
‘ goodnight ’
‘ hey, want to go out today? it’s been years ’
‘ you saw me last week, and we call every day ’
‘ so? ’
‘ alright, you’re coming shopping with me, i need some things for a project, all your calling made me start on it later than the rest ’
‘ eughh, i don’t wanna go do that ’
‘ fine, we can do whatever you want after ’
‘ that’s more like it ’
‘ okay ’
‘ so it’s a date? ’
‘ what? ’
‘ nothing — ’
‘no, i heard you. are you serious? ’
‘ uhhhhhhh, yes? ’
‘ good, so it’s a date ’
‘ wait, really?! ’
‘ unless you don’t want it to be ’
‘ no! i mean — yes! yes yes yes, okay, i’ll pick you up from your dorm, text me when you’re almost ready, i’m going to go get you flowers ’
‘ okay… see you, jungwon ’
‘ don’t act like that now, i can hear you smiling ’
‘ no. you cannot ’
‘ uhuh, see ya ’
EXTRA:
masterlist.
#kpop x fem reader#kpop x you#kpop x reader#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enha imagines#enha scenarios#enha x reader#jungwon yang#yang jungwon#yang jungwon x reader.#jungwon enha#enha jungwon#yang jungwon x reader#jungwon x reader#jungwon#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#enha
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Drooling, growling, clawing at the floorboards, absolutely tearing it UP
Please! 🙀 Write a Sniper/reader pegging session and my life is YOURS!!!! 🦅 💥💥💥 or maybe even medic, or maybe even scout 🤤 the dudes
also hi I hope you're doing well :)
a/n: LMAO PLZ-- I'm doing as well as I can rn at the moment. I'm still sick but I'm doing good so don't worry!~ Also since this is the first request I'm answering from the smut pile, I'll be posting a FemDom Fanfic of my OC later tonight! <3 hope you enjoy!
Pegging With Sniper
“P-please ‘r-roo..be easy on me…”
You loved moments like this where you could have your boyfriend bent over in front of you. It had been a rough day for the both of you, and you know it’s rough when he can barely make a sentence.
So you decided to take care of him for once, by taking up on a request that he’d asked about months ago.
So now you were prepping him one hand on his lower back, making sure his back is arched in a way that looked so delicious beneath you. His hat and glasses off to the side as soft groans started to leave his mouth.
“You okay down there baby?..You think you’re ready..?”
You mumble and he nodded slowly, you chuckle softly as you ran your hand down his back. You shook your head. “Ah ah..I need to hear you”
“…’m ready..”
You bend over, placing a soft kiss on his back as you slowly pushed your way in. You made sure to keep your eyes on your boyfriend, watching as his face flushed red, and how he bit the pillow infront of him, trying to keep quiet.
Starting a slow and gentle pace for him, hearing the soft groans that left Sniper's throat. He buried his head into the pillow infront of him as he feels your hand run its way up and down his back trying to soothe him.
"..s..sheila..please..y-you can go harder.."
You chuckle. "Really?..you think you can take it?.." when he nods you smirk before reaching down to grab a handful of his hair yanking his head back earning a suprising moan from him.
You then start slamming your hips into his, catching them off guard and reducing him to a moaning mess.
"Look at my strong baby..such a good boy for me..~
You mumble as you place your hands on his hips, pulling him back against you.
You loved seeing him like this underneath you, a whining and moaning mess underneath you.
"Go ahead and be louder for me baby.." You coo softly to him as you slowly release his hair.
"Cause I'm gonna make sure the other mercs know just who you moan for every might~"
#tf2 fandom#tf2 fanfiction#tf2 x reader#tf2 fanfic#team fortress 2#team fortress 2 x reader#tf2#team fortress 2 imagines#sniper x reader#sniper#tf2 sniper#tf2 sniper x reader#sniper tf2
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I absolutely loved this and have many thoughts undert the cut
“You’re really sure it’s okay for me to be here? They’re your friends and I’m just… some dude.” “Yeah, some dude who’s sucked the same dick I have and is a giant sweetheart.” You rolled your eyes and dragged him after you onto the elevator, leaning against his chest and winding your fingers through his affectionately. “Plus, we’re officially besties after that skinny dipping incident.”
That's some real bonding🤭😅
“And you’re so jealous, poor baby.” Ari bit Ransom’s ear gently before sliding his hand even higher, squeezing Ransom’s thigh and purring when the man whined and leaned into his touch. “I'm so sorry, pretty boy, you deserve all the attention, you’re getting married after all. Gonna have such a pretty wife to spoil you and treat you nice like you deserve.” “Fuck, you know how worked up I get when anyone calls her my wife, you teasing bastard.” Ransom downed the rest of his drink and growled before turning to face Ari, practically crawling into the man’s lap when he finally slid his hand up to cup his bulge as he smashed their lips together. “I’m going to marry her, god she’s so fucking perfect.”
They both exactly know how to get each other worked up 🤭
“Don’t give me that look, I don’t wanna lose my membership to this place just because we’re both sluts. We’re gonna finish in the car.” “‘M not… shit.” Ransom tossed his head back and gasped when Ari pressed into him harder, whimpering when he felt his beard scratching against his throat as he licked that spot that drove him crazy and he rolled his hips up to meet him. “Yeah, okay. Just don’t stop.”
No chance in pretending with Ari 🤭
“She said she wanted regular updates, and I think the first orgasm of the night is something she’d want to know about.” Ari shoved his phone back in his pocket and gripped Ransom’s chin, forcing his gaze back to him and giving him a sly smile as he rubbed their noses together. “Now quit being a brat and kiss me.”
Good reason for an update, I approve
“God, you’re all so fucking dramatic, calm down!” You had to start chucking ice at all of them when they started pulling up their phones to send threats to your fiancé, still staring daggers at Jake, even though there was no way you could stay mad at him, he was just trying to protect you. “Ransom is not cheating on me. It’s Ari!”
Haha the girls are ready to castrate Ransom 😅
“No, I mean… thanks for this blondie.” Jake at least looked slightly embarrassed. “We’re kinda, sorta, but not totally, in a poly thing with the sex god.” That shut all of them up, Jake’s eyes bugging out of his head as he stared at you while the rest of your friends just gave you blank looks that made you a little nervous. You had never planned on making this part of your relationship public, but here you were.
I mean who wouldn't want to be in a poly thing with a sex god? I certainly would 😌🤷🏻♀️
“You boys need to calm down.” Ari rolled his eyes when they gave him nasty looks, sighing when he tried to put an arm around Ransom to comfort him and the man practically cowered. “I’m not gonna put up with any of your homophobic bull shit towards him, so lock it up.” “What? Homophobic?” Dylan had the sense to at least look slightly embarrassed. “Who give a fuck about that, he’s cheating on his fiancée?” “Yeah, news flash, we all know you’re bi, Drysdale.” Chaz shot a glare at Logan when he looked like he was thinking of making a joke. “No one cares.” “You know?” Ransom hated how small his voice sounded, letting Ari put an arm around him this time and blowing out a shuddering breath when he leaned into the man without thought.
I love that the boys were also ready to beat up Ransom lol
And the discussion about his sexuality just warmed my heart, it was so nonchalant and they worried so much more about Ransom than anything else (as they should)
“Oh, and what would you call it?” Dylan took Ari’s phone and scowled as he looked at the screen, his expression melting into one of confusion as he read all the texts you sent about how pretty Ransom looked when he was choking on Ari’s dick and how much you loved both of them. “Huh.” “What?” Chaz took the phone when Dylan handed it to him, blowing out a deep breath that had Ransom burning his face in his hands as he groaned and leaned into Ari even more. “Alright then. Are you… happy?”
Oh he was not ready to air it all out like that 🤭
“Look, Drysdale, I’m just happy that even though you’re getting married you’re still kind of a man whore. So why don’t we all get over this little misunderstanding and hit that gay strip club down the block. Apparently, they have a special on body shots with their dancers. I bet they’ll love you two.”
This is the best reaction haha just worried about is man whire status 😂
“This is so not on me, you could’ve been up front about your little throuple situation.” Your maid of honor just laughed when you snarled at her. “Yeah yeah, you don’t want to define it, whatever. I’ll buy you a lap dance.”
She is the maid of honor for a reason I see 😅
“Jake, I can’t stay mad at you, so please stop apologizing.” You wound your arm through his and leaned your head on his shoulder, smiling when he pressed his cheek against your forehead and let out a deep breath as he handed you your phone. “You’re my bestie blondie, people would’ve found out anyway, though I will admit it would have been nice if it hadn’t been a surprise. Now, go find me all the pretty twunk strippers, okay?”
Poor Jakey is gonna blame himself for this for a while
The sheer amount of alcohol Ransom managed to consume at the marathon of strip clubs had helped him calm down, and being able to just be open now about who he was and what he wanted. Plus, Ari. Ari was always there and the feeling of his hands on Ransom’s body and the occasional brush of his lips against his cheek had pulled any residual stress right out of him, and also gotten him stupidly turned on. The man was a menace.
Sounds like a great night
“That right, pup?” Your voice was low and mixed perfectly with Ari’s deep growl at being called sir, making Ransom’s eyes roll back in his head and his tongue feel like it was too thick for his mouth all of a sudden. “Want him to feed your hungry little pussy?” “Oh, please.” Ransom could hardly breathe when Ari’s whole body pressed against his, feeling the heavy weight of his dick grinding against his hip as he clutched desperately at his waist. “Need it.”
😮💨😮💨😮💨
Ari grinned down at Ransom as he kept sucking on his fingers, cooing when he yelped at Ari grabbing his cock through his panties. The harsh contact was all he needed to come with a sharp cry, his whole body spasming wildly as he came so hard it almost hit him in the face. He kept shivering when Ari curled over him and sank his teeth into his jaw, tears leaking down his cheeks as warmth spread from his core while Ari pumped his cum into him.
🥵🥵🥵
Ransom managed to arch his back all pretty while Ari took his picture and sent it to you, all happy and fuzzy as he floated in the warmth of post-orgasmic bliss. He was vaguely aware of Ari relaying that you said you wanted to lick your pretty puppy clean before he let his eyes fall closed. Damn, he felt so fucking good. The only thing that could have made it better was if you were actually there with them. Maybe he could convince you to convince Ari to come on the honeymoon so he could get it from both ends.
That would definitely be an interesting and intense honeymoon 😌🤭
Always Living in the Final Hour
Summary: Bachelor and bachelorette weekend shenanigans with the (almost) quadrouple.
Words: ~5.5k
Relationship(s): Ransom Drysdale x Ari Levinson, Ransom Drysdale x Ari Levinson x female!reader, Jake Jensen x female!reader (platonic - for now), little peeks at the quadrouple to come y’all.
Warning: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected anal sex, m receiving oral sex, rimming, feminization), established relationships, secrets revealed, mentions of homophobia, misunderstandings, they’re all cute and dumb and in love, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!
A/N: I love them so much 😭
I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on my fics follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!
You grinned when you heard the knock at your hotel room door, finishing putting your earrings in and adjusting your tits in your dress before pulling the door open and beaming at Jake.
“Hey… wow, look at you!” He gave you his own smile when he got a look at you, spinning you around then pulling you into a warm embrace once he’d taken you in. “You look amazing, you’re a fucking bombshell.”
“Shut up, you’re so fucking cute.” You giggled when he kissed you on the cheek, playing with the edge of his shirt and kissing him back before dragging him out the door. “Is everyone ready to go!”
“Yep, just waiting on your fine ass.” Jake laughed and smacked your ass playfully as you made your way to the elevator, giving you a mocking pout when you turned around and slapped his chest in retaliation before chewing on his lip with a bit of residual anxiety. “You’re really sure it’s okay for me to be here? They’re your friends and I’m just… some dude.”
“Yeah, some dude who’s sucked the same dick I have and is a giant sweetheart.” You rolled your eyes and dragged him after you onto the elevator, leaning against his chest and winding your fingers through his affectionately. “Plus, we’re officially besties after that skinny dipping incident.”
“Skinny dipping? I told you, I thought I walked through a spider web!” He tickled you and laughed when you pinched his cheek. “Felt like I had the creepy crawlies all over me. No one made you take your clothes off, weirdo.”
“That’s true, but I love being naked, and don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it!” You let him give you a tight hug and lift you off your feet once the doors opened to the lobby, waving at your group and laughing when they cheered as they spotted you. “So since we’ve seen all of each other, and spilled our guts over wine, and we’re best friends, you have to be at my bachelorette party, no arguments, blondie. Alright bitches! We doing any bars or going straight to the strip clubs?”
“Oh shit, is this what you use to fuel your jet, Levinson?” Ransom coughed after downing the shot Ari had handed him, frowning when the larger man just chuckled around his cigar and reached over to squeeze his thigh. “Is it even safe for me to smoke after drinking that?”
“It’s fine, don’t be a baby.” Ari grinned even wider when Ransom smacked his hand away, waving down the waitress to bring another bourbon for the groom. “Stick to your boring brown liquor, Drysdale. And just one more cigar, think your boys are getting antsy.”
“What? Oh my god.” Ransom rolled his eyes when he he looked towards where the frat boys were gathered, waving dismissively when Logan gestured meaningfully at his watch. “Yeah, go! We’ll meet you there. Ridiculous.”
“Mmhm, well, I think they were planning on there being a lot more strippers by this point.” Ari watched them leave before taking the new drinks from the waitress, giving her a large bill and winking at her when she smiled at him before shrugging when Ransom gave him a look. “What?”
“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Ransom almost inhaled his scotch when Ari cooed sympathetically and scooted closer to him, letting out a delighted laugh when he placed his hand very high up on his thigh and leaned close to nuzzle at his jaw. “Ari! You’re such a whore!”
“And you’re so jealous, poor baby.” Ari bit Ransom’s ear gently before sliding his hand even higher, squeezing Ransom’s thigh and purring when the man whined and leaned into his touch. “I'm so sorry, pretty boy, you deserve all the attention, you’re getting married after all. Gonna have such a pretty wife to spoil you and treat you nice like you deserve.”
“Fuck, you know how worked up I get when anyone calls her my wife, you teasing bastard.” Ransom downed the rest of his drink and growled before turning to face Ari, practically crawling into the man’s lap when he finally slid his hand up to cup his bulge as he smashed their lips together. “I’m going to marry her, god she’s so fucking perfect.”
“You’re both perfect, shit.” Ari groaned when Ransom rocked his hips and sucked on Ari’s bottom lip, standing quickly and pulling the younger man with him before he had a chance to protest. “Don’t give me that look, I don’t wanna lose my membership to this place just because we’re both sluts. We’re gonna finish in the car.”
“Yeah, that’ll work.” Ransom whined when Ari pressed him against the side of the car and kissed him hungrily, letting him throw him into the backseat once he got the door open and yanking him on top of his body when they started to drive away. “We don’t even have time to do anything.”
“Nonsense, we have plenty of time.” Ari pulled Ransom’s knees around his hips and molded their lips together, humming when he felt his hard cock pressed against his own and ground into him. “We’re both nice and worked up, pretty sure I can get one out of you, you’re easy.”
“‘M not… shit.” Ransom tossed his head back and gasped when Ari pressed into him harder, whimpering when he felt his beard scratching against his throat as he licked that spot that drove him crazy and he rolled his hips up to meet him. “Yeah, okay. Just don’t stop.”
“Mmm, never sweet boy.” Ari sucked on the hinge of Ransom’s jaw and moaned when he felt the other man’s cock twitching through his slacks, increasing the speed of his hips and squeezing Ran’s waist when the man ran his fingers through his hair. “Give it to me, honey, just want you to enjoy your party.”
Ransom sobbed when Ari curled his hand around his neck and squeezed lightly, his body arching off the back seat as he yanked on the older man’s hair while his cock throbbed and pulsed while he came all over the inside of the pretty red panties you’d insisted he wear. He felt Ari’s cock twitching as well and grinned when the other man purred against his neck and licked his throat, at least until he heard the click of a camera shutter and slapped Ari’s shoulders while he laughed softly.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Ransom pouted and turned his face away when Ari tried to kiss him again, leaving the man to press his lips to his cheek and huffing when he saw him texting someone. “You sending that to her?”
“She said she wanted regular updates, and I think the first orgasm of the night is something she’d want to know about.” Ari shoved his phone back in his pocket and gripped Ransom’s chin, forcing his gaze back to him and giving him a sly smile as he rubbed their noses together. “Now quit being a brat and kiss me.”
Ransom couldn’t help but giggle when Ari suckled on his bottom lip before sliding his tongue into his mouth, winding his arms around his neck and sighing softly as he melted into the kiss. He had never been happier about his choice for best man, a weekend of sex with Ari interspersed with drinking and smoking and luxury clubs really was the perfect way to celebrate his pending nuptials. There wasn’t a thing he could think of that would ruin his good time, except maybe…
“What took you so…” both of them froze when the door opened and they were suddenly face to face with Logan, Ransom trying to decide between shoving Ari off and denying everything or just burying his face in the bear’s neck to hide. “What in the actual fuck, Drysdale?!”
You screeched happily when Jake whispered a filthy joke in your ear after you pointed out the gorgeous man across the dance floor who had been eyeing him, slapping his chest and biting his ear when he picked you up and spun you around. Once the song was over your whole group made its way back to your booth to do even more shots before heading to the strip club, the rest of the women just rolling their eyes and teasing you every time you and Jake got a little affectionate, mostly because whenever they did he turned absolutely pink and tried to splutter out an explanation, which was completely adorable. They were all totally in love with him, especially after he almost punched some asshole who didn’t want to take the hint that none of you were interested in doing body shots with him when he called you a bunch of drunk cunts. Of course, what actually ended up happening was you all dog piled the douche bag and managed to get in a few good licks before Jake finally pulled all of you off and herded you out of the bar while you screamed obscenities back at the chauvinist that made Jake crack up as soon as he was sure you were all okay, but after that every single one of you was officially in love with him.
“No, I can’t have tequila!” He was all pink again when you rested your head on his shoulder and gave him a messy grin as you held the shot in front of his face. “I really can’t, or I might actually go over there and ask that guy to smack me in the face with his dick.”
“You should, he’s hot!” You squealed and clapped happily when he took the shot from you with a cute little grumble and slammed it down. “C’mon, let’s go hook you up.”
“No, bombshell, no!” He laughed when you pouted at him when he refused to budge, pulling you close and tweaking your nose as he pulled you with the group towards the exit even as he started to feel warm and loose from the tequila. “This is your night, I’m not going to abandon you just to hook up with some, admittedly beautiful, random guy.”
“You’re so sweet, blondie.” You settled in his lap after you all climbed into the limo, letting out a drunk hiccup and walking your fingers across his broad chest with a hum. “I’m gonna find you a boyfriend, though. Gimme my phone, wanna see if my puppy is having a good time.”
Jake rested his cheek on the top of your head and chuckled while you played with his shirt absentmindedly, ignoring the chatter from the rest of the group as he reached into your purse and grabbed your phone. He didn’t mean to look at the screen, he really didn’t, but the picture came up and he couldn’t help it, his face blanching immediately as he slapped the phone down against the seat and tried to avoid looking at you.
“Jakey? What’s up?” You frowned when he just shook his head at you and pressed his mouth in a thin line. “Is something wrong? Give me my phone.”
“I ca… I can’t.” He was struggling to come up with a good reason he couldn’t give it to you, the tequila was getting to him. “It must have fallen out of your purse at the club.”
“What? Jake, I saw you pull it out of my purse.” Now you were annoyed, why was he being so sneaky all of a sudden? “Lemme see.”
“I can’t… shit!” He cursed himself when you managed to move faster than he thought you could and snatched the phone out of his grip, trying to wrestle it away from you and failing when you somehow pinned him to the seat and sat on his chest. “Baby, it’s nothing, don’t look at it!”
“What the fuck are you on about?” You ignored his continued protests as you unlocked your screen and pulled up your texts. “There’s nothing here. Why are you so worried?”
“Nothing? Ran is cheating on you!” He clapped his hand over his mouth as soon as he said it, shaking his head when you gave him a very aggressive glare and all the other conversations on the limo stopped and suddenly your friends were all screaming about how they were going to kick that pretty boy’s ass.
“God, you’re all so fucking dramatic, calm down!” You had to start chucking ice at all of them when they started pulling up their phones to send threats to your fiancé, still staring daggers at Jake, even though there was no way you could stay mad at him, he was just trying to protect you. “Ransom is not cheating on me. It’s Ari!”
“Who cares who it is, I’m going to cut that man’s balls off!” Taylor dodged the plastic cup you threw at her as she kept cursing.
“No, I mean… thanks for this blondie.” Jake at least looked slightly embarrassed. “We’re kinda, sorta, but not totally, in a poly thing with the sex god.”
That shut all of them up, Jake’s eyes bugging out of his head as he stared at you while the rest of your friends just gave you blank looks that made you a little nervous. You had never planned on making this part of your relationship public, but here you were. You hoped Ran’s night was going better.
“It’s not a big deal!” Ransom felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest as he avoided the stares of his friends, all of whom looked very upset with him. “Nothing happened!”
“Oh, right!” He wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole, or that he could just go back to the hotel with Ari and spend the rest of the weekend letting him fuck every thought out of his head, instead of being stuck with all his friends scolding him in some strip club for hooking up with a guy. “That’s why you were both sporting pants tents and trying to suck each other’s faces off.”
“You boys need to calm down.” Ari rolled his eyes when they gave him nasty looks, sighing when he tried to put an arm around Ransom to comfort him and the man practically cowered. “I’m not gonna put up with any of your homophobic bull shit towards him, so lock it up.”
“What? Homophobic?” Dylan had the sense to at least look slightly embarrassed. “Who give a fuck about that, he’s cheating on his fiancée?”
“Yeah, news flash, we all know you’re bi, Drysdale.” Chaz shot a glare at Logan when he looked like he was thinking of making a joke. “No one cares.”
“You know?” Ransom hated how small his voice sounded, letting Ari put an arm around him this time and blowing out a shuddering breath when he leaned into the man without thought. “How?”
“Sloane told us, was trying to get all of us to dump you so she could make you totally dependent on her, like we’d leave you alone with that bitch. We’ve been waiting for you to come out for years.” Dylan shoved Logan when he started to open his mouth again. “But how could you do this to your girl, Ran, you’re fucking lost for her? You realize that all of our girls will kill us if they find out you cheated on her?”
“Alright, let’s all just relax.” Ari decided to take over since Ransom looked like he’d just been hit by a brick wall, pulling his phone up and scrolling up through the group chat. “No one is cheating.”
“Oh, and what would you call it?” Dylan took Ari’s phone and scowled as he looked at the screen, his expression melting into one of confusion as he read all the texts you sent about how pretty Ransom looked when he was choking on Ari’s dick and how much you loved both of them. “Huh.”
“What?” Chaz took the phone when Dylan handed it to him, blowing out a deep breath that had Ransom burning his face in his hands as he groaned and leaned into Ari even more. “Alright then. Are you… happy?”
Ransom just nodded, his growl drowned out by Ari’s when they heard Logan choke on a laugh once he got a look at the texts, Ari snatching the phone out of his hand when he started to scroll through the messages like a damn snoop. Everyone looked massively uncomfortable as all of them just stared at each other, Ransom chewing on his lips until Ari gripped his chin and tugged his mouth open with his thumb.
“Jesus Christ, everyone is so fucking uptight.” Logan rolled his eyes after a few minutes of awkward silence, leaning forward and clapping Ransom on the shoulder then snorting when the man jumped. “Look, Drysdale, I’m just happy that even though you’re getting married you’re still kind of a man whore. So why don’t we all get over this little misunderstanding and hit that gay strip club down the block. Apparently, they have a special on body shots with their dancers. I bet they’ll love you two.”
“So all three of you sleep together?” You rolled your eyes when you nodded in answer to the question for what felt like the tenth time, glad that no one was talking about castrating your future husband at least. “Is… are you guys marrying Ari too?”
“No! Oh my god.” You groaned and gave Jake a look when he kept rubbing your shoulders, he felt absurdly guilty about blabbing and you’d had to spend a good five minutes listening to him apologize. “Ransom and I are in love, and we love Ari, but as our absolute best friend who we also sleep with… a lot. Can we just go enjoy the strippers, please? And thanks so much for helping me explain things, Anne.”
“This is so not on me, you could’ve been up front about your little throuple situation.” Your maid of honor just laughed when you snarled at her. “Yeah yeah, you don’t want to define it, whatever. I’ll buy you a lap dance.”
“Fine, you’re all buying me lap dances!” They finally seemed to be able to move past their initial shock, letting out some light cheers when you stopped in front of the club and all started to climb out until they were eventually giggling when they thought about doing more shots. “I wanna be covered in body glitter and smell like Viva La Juicy by the time we leave. Can I have my phone now, blondie? Want to actually check on the boy toy.”
“Yeah.” Poor Jake had been beet red for the past five minutes, only getting even redder when you kissed his cheek and gave his shoulder a squeeze when he handed your phone back to you. “I’m really sorry, again.”
“Jake, I can’t stay mad at you, so please stop apologizing.” You wound your arm through his and leaned your head on his shoulder, smiling when he pressed his cheek against your forehead and let out a deep breath as he handed you your phone. “You’re my bestie blondie, people would’ve found out anyway, though I will admit it would have been nice if it hadn’t been a surprise. Now, go find me all the pretty twunk strippers, okay?”
He gave you a shy smile before walking away to find you a dancer, still blushing all cute and being his adorable self in a way that was sure to endear him to everyone. You just shook your head fondly as you pulled up your texts, chuckling to yourself and leaning against the bar while you texted Ransom that he did not have to worry about your bridal party castrating him, and that he should enjoy getting turned inside out by his boyfriend and you loved him more than anything.
The sheer amount of alcohol Ransom managed to consume at the marathon of strip clubs had helped him calm down, and being able to just be open now about who he was and what he wanted. Plus, Ari. Ari was always there and the feeling of his hands on Ransom’s body and the occasional brush of his lips against his cheek had pulled any residual stress right out of him, and also gotten him stupidly turned on. The man was a menace. Which was why the two of them had stayed in the bar of Ari’s hotel after the rest of the frat boys went back to their rooms, Ransom leaning on Ari’s shoulder and playing with his hair while he begged him to do all sorts of nasty things to him.
“Baby, you’re so worked up, goddamn.” Ari gave him a sly grin when Ransom whined in his ear, unable to fight the urge he always had to be a giant tease. “Not even sure you could really handle me doing everything you want right now, might make you black out before we have any real fun.”
“Please? Just wanna feel your mouth on my pussy.” Ransom was feeling so warm and buzzed after all the champagne and whiskey he’d consumed through the whole night, nuzzling into Ari’s neck and giggling when he almost spat out his scotch.
“Your what?!” The man hissed low enough that Ransom could barely hear him over the noise of the hotel bar, moaning when the older man gripped the back of his neck and forced his gaze to his as he chewed on his lip. “Your girl know you talk like this, boy?”
Ransom’s knees almost buckled at the low growl of ‘boy’ against his lips, grabbing the front of Ari’s shirt to keep himself upright and whining as his cock throbbed in his soft silk panties.
“You mean Daddy?” Ransom purred when Ari’s pupils somehow blew even wider, only a thin ring of ice around deep black pools he could lose himself in while the bearded man grabbed his ass and pulled him closer. “Daddy loves when I talk about my little pussy. She tells me how pretty it is and how sweet it tastes when it’s all wet and crying for cock. Don’t you wanna taste, sir?”
“Christ, come on.” Ari dragged Ransom after him towards the elevator with a yelp as he basically manhandled the younger man, shoving him inside when the doors opened and pressed the front of his body against his as Ransom panted desperately. “Gimme your phone, gonna check in with your… fuck… your daddy and make sure we’re not stepping over some kind of line.”
Ransom stamped his foot and pouted when Ari started dialing your number, trying to kiss him and whining when the larger man shoved him off and forced him to be still with a hand on his throat.
“Gorgeous?” Ari ignored the way Ransom was trying to grind his hips into him as he leaned him against the wall while the lift headed to the penthouse, frowning at the man while he waited for you to head somewhere quiet. “Your boy’s been drinking a little bit and running that mouth of his. Wanted to check in. Yeah? One second.”
“Puppy?” Ransom purred when Ari put his phone on speaker and the sound of your voice washed over him, making him feel all warm and syrupy as Ari just gave him a curious look. “Baby, you feeling all sweet?”
“Yeah Daddy.” Ransom sighed as he sank into the wall, already feeling his cock starting to leak as he thought about how worked up you probably were after whatever you’d been doing tonight. “Miss you, just wanted sir to give me his fat cock to tide me over a little.”
“That right, pup?” Your voice was low and mixed perfectly with Ari’s deep growl at being called sir, making Ransom’s eyes roll back in his head and his tongue feel like it was too thick for his mouth all of a sudden. “Want him to feed your hungry little pussy?”
“Oh, please.” Ransom could hardly breathe when Ari’s whole body pressed against his, feeling the heavy weight of his dick grinding against his hip as he clutched desperately at his waist. “Need it.”
“You’re lucky Daddy doesn’t mind sharing that pretty little cunt, sweet boy. And that I love spoiling my puppy.” You could tell Ransom was gone from the desperate mewl you heard over the phone, grinning to yourself as you started addressing your ex who sounded like he was heading towards his own kind of lost with the heady growl he let out. “Ari?”
“Yeah?” Ari hummed as he ran his nose over Ransom’s, cupping the man’s jaw softly as they exchanged breath while he dipped his tongue between his parted lips.
“Wreck him.” You chuckled when you heard a feral snarl before the sounds of messy kissing traveled over the phone, squirming a little when you pictured the scene that must be unfolding as Ari prepared to devour your sweet boy. “And make sure you take video!”
“Mmhm.” Ari’s grumbled reply was all he could get out before he was hanging up the phone and burying a hand in Ransom’s hair, sliding the other down his body until he could grab his ass and jiggle it before giving it a good smack.
Ransom was a mewling, keening mess by the time the elevator doors opened to the penthouse, panting desperately and flushed and having difficulty keeping his feet when Ari started shoving him back towards the bedroom. The man had been right, he felt like he was going to explode just from the rough kisses and greedy touches, he was probably going to go into a coma once they got to the good stuff.
“You want me to eat that pretty little pussy, boy?” Ransom yelped when Ari threw him onto the bed after stripping him out of his clothes in a rush while he pulled out his phone to start filming, growling at the sight of the younger man in nothing but his feminine little wine red thong. “Show it to me.”
Ransom whimpered as he turned slowly onto his stomach while Ari watched, making a show of arching his back while he drew his knees up to his chest until he was basically presenting for the older man. He bit his lip and peeked over his shoulder when he heard Ari let out an appreciative groan at the sight of him sliding the thin strip of fabric to the side while he spread his cheeks, giggling when he strode forward and grabbed his hip harshly with his free hand.
“Christ, look at that.” Ari purred when Ransom moaned at the feel of him spitting right on his twitching skin, his pretty hole winking for the camera while he keened when Ari slapped his ass hard. “No wonder your Daddy’s so happy all the damn time, you fucking spoil her with this shit, don’t you?” Ari let out a grunt when Ransom’s only response was a thin mewl, setting the camera on the end table so it had a good view of that sweet ass as he kneeled behind Ransom. “Let’s give her a good show, yeah?”
He didn’t have any chance to prepare before Ari was burying his face between his cheeks, the older man growling against his skin as he dragged his tongue all over his fluttering hole before sucking on it lewdly. The scrape of his teeth over his soft skin had Ransom’s eyes falling closed, his back arching more as he ground his ass back against Ari’s face and let out soft needy sounds.
Ari loved how fucking desperate Ran got when he was drunk, could truly understand why you called him puppy when he was whining and wiggling and begging him to keep going. Ransom stretched his arms above his head and keened when Ari leaned back and spat on him again, rubbing his cheek against the comforter when he nipped at his clenching hole before pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses all over his ass.
When he ducked lower to suck on his balls, Ransom knew he was going to explode, his breath coming in shallow pants as his cock twitched where it was pinned against his abs by the band of his panties. Then he shoved a finger from each hand inside him and yanked him open so he could spit inside him and Ransom could feel tears leaking down his cheeks, his precum running down his abs like a faucet when Ari pushed his tongue inside him and started fucking him with it.
Ransom whined obscenely when he finally came, his toes curling as Ari’s tongue kept punching into his fluttering hole while the older man groaned appreciatively. He could feel his cum soaking the front of his panties and abs as his cock twitched slowly, another shiver traveling up his spine when the older man gave his balls a harsh squeeze before he rose up on his knees.
“That’s it honey, such a good fucking boy.” Ari grabbed a cheek in each hand and spread Ransom wide, purring at the sight of his pretty hole twitching and winking at him while he just panted into the mattress. “Look at that pretty little pussy, so fucking wet and needy, making a mess all over this bed. Think I should make you squirt, boy?”
“Oh god, please.” Ransom’s eyes rolled back in head when he felt Ari’s thick cock slap against the curve of his ass, keening when he hooked his thumb into his ass and pulled. “Fuck me, sir, fill my tight little pussy up til it’s leaking. Wanna feel you for the rest of the weekend.”
“Yeah, you want it bad?” Ari grabbed Ransom by his throat and yanked him up until his chest was pressed to his back, biting his ear harshly until the younger man started grinding desperately against him. “Want me to fuck this sweet little cunt raw until she’s gaping and ruined? Let’s hope we don’t piss your daddy off, she’d kick both our asses.”
That was all the warning Ransom had before Ari shoved his hips forward and impaled him on his cock, all the breath getting pushed out of his lungs as every muscle in his core spasmed at the sudden intrusion. Ari shoved his fingers in his mouth and groaned in his ear while he started driving into him, nuzzling at his cheek as he set a vicious pace and his other hand dug into his waist.
It was taking all his focus not to black out, he felt like he was getting ripped in half in the best way. Every thrust had Ari’s dick dragging over his swollen prostate, Ransom letting out small yelps each time his hips slapped against his ass while he drooled all over his chin and his eyes rolled back in his head.
Ransom squealed when Ari pulled out of him in a rush and flipped him over, grabbing his knees and holding himself open as the larger man lined himself up again. He groaned when Ari slammed back into him, arching his back to meet each punch of his hips and whining when his cock started leaking all over his abs.
“God, you’re already a fucking mess, honey.” Ari leaned over him and cupped his cheek gently, a sharp contrast to the way his hips were definitely going to be leaving bruises on his ass. “You gonna make an even bigger one? Gonna squirt all over yourself while I fill this pretty little pussy?”
“Yes sir.” Ransom gasped when Ari ground into his ass, humming when he shoved his fingers into his open mouth and swirling his tongue around them. “Please, fill my pussy.”
Ari grinned down at Ransom as he kept sucking on his fingers, cooing when he yelped at Ari grabbing his cock through his panties. The harsh contact was all he needed to come with a sharp cry, his whole body spasming wildly as he came so hard it almost hit him in the face. He kept shivering when Ari curled over him and sank his teeth into his jaw, tears leaking down his cheeks as warmth spread from his core while Ari pumped his cum into him.
“Mmm, such a messy boy.” Ari gave him a soft kiss before straightening up, biting his lip and purring when he got a look at his cum dribbling out of Ransom’s swollen and abused hole. Ransom just hummed as he sank further into the mattress, running his hands lazily over his cum covered torso while Ari grabbed the phone. “C’mon honey, show your Daddy how pretty you look then we’ll get you cleaned up.”
Ransom managed to arch his back all pretty while Ari took his picture and sent it to you, all happy and fuzzy as he floated in the warmth of post-orgasmic bliss. He was vaguely aware of Ari relaying that you said you wanted to lick your pretty puppy clean before he let his eyes fall closed. Damn, he felt so fucking good. The only thing that could have made it better was if you were actually there with them. Maybe he could convince you to convince Ari to come on the honeymoon so he could get it from both ends.
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I watched the newest 9-1-1 episode this morning. And I am really sad about it.
I honestly didn't see this coming. Tommy was just so different from a lot of Buck's previous love interests. And not just because he is a guy. But for lots of reasons. For one, he was a preexisting character that wasn't just introduced as Buck's love interest. When he was in a relationship with Buck, it was so healthy. He was always there when Buck needed him, and was so thoughtful. Tommy has seen Buck at his worst and didn't run away. He's so understanding, and he is also a firefighter, which means that he gets the job, which is helpful since that was a point of contention for Buck and a couple of his exes. And Buck was clearly so at ease with Tommy. Also, Tommy was already close, or became close with other members of the 118. He and Chim are already friends, and he became quick friends with Eddie, and got along with Christopher. He was just so intertwined with the main cast, it felt unnatural for that to be taken away.
It also just felt like they were setting a lot of things up to happen. I thought we were going to learn more about Tommy's dad. It also seemed like they were setting up for Tommy to become part of the main group: he expressed his jelousy about the 118 becoming a family and him not being in it, there was also that scene with the group chat and it felt like Tommy was later going to be added to it. So it sucks that that's never going to happen now. He wanted a family, and now we might never see him again. Also, what was the point of Tommy being the only one who calls Buck "Evan," it felt important, but now he's gone, so it doesn't feel like it mattered at all anymore. And Tommy mentioned how nice Buck's place is, so it felt like he was going to move in later (though, can't blame him for saying no, dude's got a car lift, and a muay thai practice area).
The whole episode, Tommy felt kind of off, compared to how he acted the episode before. Just slightly out of character at times. Like, I feel like the way he talked about Abby didn't seem entirely in character. And him getting Buck basketball tickets, even though Buck doesn't like basketball. Tommy was presented as a good listener, and Buck talks a lot, it would have come up at some point that Buck doesn't actually like basketball. And that breakup felt incredibly annoying to me. Because the reasoning was basically since Tommy is Buck's first boyfriend, he's unlikely to be his last. But it's not like Buck has never been in serious relationships before, and I understand being with a guy for the first time might be treated slightly different because it's new and exciting, but I don't think that makes the relationship any less valid. And comparing it with literally the episode before, it seemed to come so out of left field. I'd understand it if this was a plotline where Tommy was scared of getting his heart broken, but later realized that he cares too much about Buck to end things prematurely, and he shouldn't let his fear get in the way. But Lou was saying his goodbyes, so I doubt it's that.
Also, the whole breakup felt like it had this undercurrent of biphobia. But I need to rewatch the scene before I can break that down.
For what this scene means to Buck's bisexuality... not much actually. Besides the biphobic vibe I mentioned earlier, it doesn't change the fact that Buck is bi. I know a lot of people are upset about Oliver's comment. And I completely get why, since there's nothing wrong with sleeping around, but Buck's a character who's arc involved him no longer sleeping around, and now that he's bi, he might be doing that again. I totally understand why that is hurtful. For me, I don't really have a problem with his comment, just because I feel like Buck's not going to be looking for another serious relationship right now, since he just got out of one (and he wasn't the one who ended things). So I get him sleeping around. I don't think he needs to sleep around to "find himself" or whatever. I feel like I should mention that I'm not bisexual, I'm aroace, so my opinion on this isn't as important as actual bi people's. Also, I don't know what Oliver's exact comment was, I just heard second hand, so I might come back and edit this section after actually reading the exact phrasing.
Anyway, the whole thing just makes me really sad for Buck. But mainly sad for Tommy, who had grown to be such as interesting character, with a interesting backstory that we will never fully get to know. Sad for Tommy because he wanted a family, and it seemed like he was going to get one, just for it all to be taken away from him.
#bucktommy#tevan#911 abc#I'm not mad at buddie shippers for being happy#it just kind of sucks to see people celebrate something that makes you heartbroken#evan buckley#tommy kinard#I think I'm sad mainly because Tommy is my favorite character and it doesn't seem like we're going to get to see him ever again#he had so much potential#and now he's gone#but I want to say thank you to lou ferrigno jr#who played Tommy with such care and depth#lou ferrigno jr
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Through the Cracks *.✧
The lair was alive with energy as Mikey zipped around, skateboard wheels clattering against the concrete. Music blared from his speaker, something upbeat and chaotic that perfectly matched his vibe. You sat on the couch, legs crossed, mask on, watching him weave through the room with a kind of effortless grace.
“Yo!” Mikey called, executing a perfect kickflip before rolling to a stop in front of you. “You gonna sit there all night like some brooding anime character, or you gonna join the party?”
You tilted your head, deadpan. “Your version of a party involves a lot of potential head injuries.”
Mikey laughed, plopping down beside you, skateboard in hand. “Aw, come on! Live a little! You’re always sitting there all mysterious and cool. Don’t you ever, like, wanna let loose?”
You raised a brow—not that he could see it. “And ruin my carefully cultivated aura of mystery? Pass.”
Mikey gasped, clutching his chest like you’d just insulted his pizza-making skills. “Babe, your aura needs some sunshine! You’ve got the whole dark-and-edgy thing down, but what’s life without a little chaos?”
“Is that your motto?” you asked dryly. “Because it explains a lot.”
“Hey, chaos is my middle name!” Mikey grinned. “Actually, it’s Doctor Delicate Touch, but chaos works too.”
Despite yourself, you felt the corners of your mouth twitch beneath the mask. Mikey had a way of doing that—pulling people out of their heads, even if only for a moment.
“You know,” he said, leaning back and resting his hands behind his head, “you’re kinda like this mask thing I saw in a movie once. Super creepy, but the guy wearing it? Total softie underneath.”
You shot him a look. “Are you calling me a softie?”
Mikey winked. “I’m just saying, you can’t fool me. I’ve seen how you are with the others. You’re like the dark chocolate of friends—kinda bitter, but secretly sweet.”
You groaned, shaking your head. “That’s the worst analogy I’ve ever heard.”
“Maybe,” Mikey said with a shrug, “but I stand by it.”
The room fell into a comfortable silence, the music still thumping softly in the background. Mikey kicked his skateboard back and forth idly, glancing over at you every so often.
“Hey,” he said after a while, his voice softer. “You know you don’t have to keep the mask on with me, right?”
You sighed, leaning back against the couch. “We’ve been over this, Mikey.”
“I know, love, I know,” he said quickly. “But like…you’re cool as is, mask or no mask. Just sayin’.”
You didn’t answer right away, letting his words settle. Mikey wasn’t like the others. He didn’t push, didn’t prod. He just…was.
“Thanks, Mikey,” you said quietly. “For not making it weird.”
Mikey grinned, giving you a light nudge with his elbow. “Anytime, dude. That’s what I’m here for—to keep things chill and make sure you don’t turn into a total hermit.”
You snorted. “Good luck with that.”
“Challenge accepted,” he said, standing up and hopping back on his board. “Now, prepare yourself. I’m about to show you the sickest trick of all time!”
You leaned back, arms crossed, watching as he launched himself across the room with reckless abandon.
#reader#x reader#y/n#tmnt#tmnt x reader#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#rottmnt#rottmnt x reader#x male reader
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STAN MARSH X VIRGIN!FTM!READER SMUT
ok this one has a little backstory i guess? lore? anyway ive decided i get to consider myself a virgin still because i barely remember any of the times i've technically been touched & what i do remember is extremely traumatic. so i think as a treat for still being alive stan should take my virginity
this fic is probably going to be tooth rottingly sweet so im sorry in advance LMFAO
cw/tw: first time, stan calls reader "dude", stan is somewhat experienced reader is not, whiny soft pathetic stan
They say it starts with a kiss. You didn’t know about all that, you didn’t listen to The Killers all that much.
You and Stan had been on his bed making out on and off for about an hour. Stan’s hands wandered, drifting under your shirt and caressing the skin there gently.
“You’re so pretty like this,” he whispered breathily.
You whined softly, overly sensitive to every touch. “Stan,” you breathed, hands gripping his jacket as though it was a lifeline.
Stan chuckled, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. He loved how you reacted to him; so responsive and reactive. “You’re so cute when you’re all clingy,” he teased, giving your hands a gentle squeeze.
You shivered at his words. Your eyes flutter shut for a second. You swallowed thickly as Stan’s hands continued to wander, finding purchase on your body wherever possible.
“We should stop,” Stan said, his voice barely louder than a whisper as one hand dipped lower, tracing the band of your pants. His breath hitched as you whimpered.
“Last chance,” his eyes flicked up to your face, hoping for a sign.
Your own breath caught in your throat. “Have,” you panted softly. “Have you ever done this before?”
Stan smiled softly at you, his fingers tracing the edge of your pants. “God, dude, you’re adorable..”
He chuckled. “Yeah. Couple times,” his hand paused. “You have too, haven’t you?”
His thumb hooked into your pants. You bit your lip.
You slowly, almost shyly, shook your head. “N… No,” you stammered quiet admittance. “Never.”
Stan’s eyes widened. He blinked, staring at you for a moment before bursting out laughing. “You’re joking,” He spoke incredulously. His hand tightens on your waist. “But you’re so… You’re so…” He trailed off, grinning.
You shook your head, adjusting somewhat nervously. “I’ve… Never. Not.. Not all the way.”
Stan’s grin faded, quickly replaced with a dumbfounded look. His hand drifted up, tracing over your chest. “But you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, frowning slightly. His hand paused over your heart. “Are you sure you want this?”
You paused. Did you? You decided yes in a matter of seconds. You nodded, slowly. “I… I want it to be you.”
Stan smiled warmly. “Okay,” he breathed. His hand drifted back down, tugging your pants down. His eyes flicked up to your face, seeking reassurance. His own heart raced in his chest. “You tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”
You nodded, squirming slightly as Stan tugged your pants down your legs and tossed them off to the side somewhere.
Stan took a moment to admire the view before him. His eyes dragged over every inch of your skin. His hand reached out, gently brushing against your inner thigh. “You’re so pretty,” he mumbled. “I don’t wanna hurt you..”
“Just- go slow. Please.” You requested, flustered as you looked away from him.
Stan grinned softly, nodding. “Okay, you got it..” he murmured. His fingers drifted closer to your center, brushing against the soft, coarse curls there. “Hey- look at me,” he said softly, a gentle command.
You looked up, already dripping wet just from the kissing and Stan’s soft teasing. You look at Stan, eyes darting back and forth across his face.
Stan’s heart melted at the nervous and yet oh so trusting look in your eyes. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you,” he murmured against your skin. His fingers drifted down to your clit, stroking the small length slowly. “You’re gonna feel so good. Promise.”
You jumped slightly at the sudden stimulation. You let out a breathy sigh as your head fell back against the pillows.
Stan smiled warmly, his hands working slowly. He watched your face intently, gauging your reactions. “You like that?” he asked softly, his thumb rubbing gentle circles around the base of your slick, throbbing flesh.
You nodded, clenching the sheets in your fist with one hand. “Yeah,” you breathed, nervous. Shy. Stan’s ministrations only made you even wetter than before, folds shining with your arousal. Stan’s smile widened, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He leaned down and pressed his lips to your neck as he slowly rubbed his thumb back and forth over the highly sensitive nub. His other hand slowly inched lower, parting your folds to gently rub at your entrance.
You whined softly, instinctively attempting to close your legs at the soft prodding at your delicate, untouched pussy.
Stan gently pushed your legs back open, fingers tracing soothing patterns on your inner thighs. “Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered against your neck. His thumb continued to rub at your clit, his other finger slowly pressing against your entrance and applying gentle pressure. “You’re so tight..”
You took a few deep breaths. Your breaths became sharper as you felt Stan slowly work his index finger inside of you. “Mm-” you breathed, eyes squeezing shut as you whined softly.
Stan’s own breath hitched as he felt you slowly relax and take more of his finger. He moaned softly against your neck, his hand moving slowly.
“You’re doing so well,” he praised softly. “You’re taking it like such a good boy.”
You panted softly. You felt almost euphoric. You’d never felt anything like this. Your breath caught again as Stan started to slowly work a second finger into you.
Stan’s heart swelled with a mix of love and pride for you as he stretched you open with his fingers. He curled them slightly, brushing against your sweet spot as he pumped his fingers in and out slowly.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he murmured against your skin. “You’re so fucking perfect.”
You made a sound of pleasure that sounded something like “Mmhph,” and writhed as Stan’s fingers brush against that spot inside your weeping cunt.
Stan’s eyes widened at the sound you made. He knew he’d found the right spot. He started to rub against it consistently, his fingers pumping in and out of your tight pussy at a steady pace.
“Oh god, dude,” he breathed. “You’re gonna make me cum just watching you.”
You squirmed. Stan’s fingers continued to stretch you out in preparation for what was next. “Mmh,” you whined softly, back arching slightly. You’re more responsive than anyone Stan had ever been with.
Stan’s mouth drifted lower, his lips closing over one of your nipples. He sucked gently, his tongue flicking out to circle around the hardened nub. His fingers continued to work in and out of you, scissoring to stretch you further. Stan’s own body ached with need.
You panted softly. “Oh, fuck,” you cursed, head falling back as you began to tense up once again.
Stan’s eyes met yours, his hand slowing its pace.
“Not yet, baby,” he whispered softly, his thumb gently rubbing at your swollen, throbbing flesh. “Not ‘til I’m inside you.”
He slowly removed his fingers and brought them to his mouth, sucking your slickness off of them.
You whimpered softly, eyes dilating at the erotic sight. You swallowed hard and adjusted yourself again, spreading your legs apart further.
Stan settled between your spread thighs, his hard length pressing against your slick entrance. He took himself in one hand, rubbing the tip up and down your folds, coating himself in your arousal.
“Last chance to back out,” he murmured, the tip of his cock pressing against your hole.
You squirmed slightly, but you shook your head. “I-” you began, voice breathy. Whiny. “I want it to be you, Stan.” You repeated your earlier sentiment. You reached out to grab Stan’s free hand.
Stan’s face softened at your words. He intertwined your fingers, bringing your joined hands to rest on the pillow beside your head.
He leaned down to kiss you slowly, deeply, as he finally began to push inside. “I love you,” he groaned.
You let out another pleasured-slash-pained noise as Stan pushed inside. You panted softly, body tense as you adjusted to the new feeling. Or at least attempted to.
Stan paused, letting you get used to the feel of him. He nuzzled into the side of your neck, his breath hot against your skin.
“Breathe for me, baby,” he whispered, his hand tightening around yours. “Just breathe.”
You did so as best you could, working through the strange feeling of the intrusion. You nodded almost weakly as you looked up at Stan.
Stan slowly started to push in further, his length stretching you open. He kept his pace slow and gentle, not wanting to hurt you. As he pushed in further, he rested his forehead against yours, your noses touching.
“You okay, baby?” He asked softly, voice trembling with need.
You nodded. Your pussy was tight around Stan. Warm and wet and tight, periodically spasming around him.
Stan hissed softly at the feeling of you clenching on him. “You feel so good,” he moaned, slowly continuing to push inside. He paused again when he was fully sheathed inside you, giving you a moment to adjust. “You take me so well, baby..”
You breathed, whimpering softly. You’d never felt this full. Your fingers were nothing compared to this. You wrapped your arms around Stan’s neck, tight as you pulled him closer.
Stan wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as he started to slowly move his hips. He set a steady, gentle rhythm, his length dragging along your inner walls with each thrust.
“You’re doing so well, love,” he praised softly, voice thick with emotion and desire.
You moaned softly, eyes squeezing shut again. Your breath came in sharp little gasps and pants as you grew wetter and wetter around Stan.
Stan buried his face in the crook of your neck, his pace quickening as your heat grew wetter and wetter. His own breath came in short pants, his voice reduced to needy whimpers and praises for you. “Feels so good, baby..”
You whined softly and buried your face in Stan’s shoulder, teeth grazing the skin there slightly as you parted your lips.
“Mm- y’feel r-really good, Stan,” you panted softly.
Stan shuddered at the sensation of your teeth grazing his skin, his hips moving faster as he loses himself in the feeling of being inside you. He chants your name like a prayer three times, his voice broken and desperate. “You’re so fucking perfect, baby.”
You gripped his back, nails digging into the skin and scratching. You’d never felt this good in your whole goddamn life.
“Stan,” you breathed, teeth grazing Stan’s shoulder again as you refused to remove your head from right there.
Stan gasped at the sensation of your nails digging into his back. He buried his face further into the crook of your neck, his hips snapping forward as he continued to thrust into you.
“Gonna cum soon, baby,” he panted softly. He knew he wouldn’t last like this, but he also couldn’t stop.
You whimpered softly. “Me too,” you whispered. Your cunt twitched right after, almost as a warning. A confirmation, maybe.
Stan’s thrusts became erratic as his own climax approached. He buried his face deeper into your neck, his hips stuttering as he fought to hold on.
“Dude, please,” he whined, his voice cracking. “I can’t hold back much longer.”
You squirmed slightly. You were moaning and panting, whining and gasping. You could feel Stan’s dick twitching inside of you, also as if as a warning.
“Please,” you whispered.
With a final, deep thrust, Stan buried himself all the way inside you. He cried out, his body shuddering as his orgasm overtook him. He moaned your name, cock pulsing as he came deep inside your tight heat.
And that triggered your own orgasm. You moaned loudly, whole body shaking and convulsing. You bit down on Stan’s shoulder, still whining – only muffled against the skin now.
Stan held you close as he felt your pussy clench and ripple around his sensitive cock, milking him for every last drop.
He moaned softly at the feeling of you biting his shoulder, his own hips still twitching with the aftershocks of his intense orgasm.
The bite almost seemed to elongate Stan’s orgasm as his cock twitched and pumped a few more spurts into your now well-loved pussy.
You whined softly as you felt Stan fill you up to the brim. You panted softly, eyes fluttering shut.
Stan gently stroked your hair as you both came down from your highs. His softening cock was still nestled inside the warm, slick heat of your pussy.
“That was amazing, baby,” Stan mumbled, pressing soft kisses to your neck and shoulder. “You did so well.”
You panted softly, gripping Stan’s shoulders tightly. You opened your eyes to look at Stan. Your heart swelled. You smiled softly.
“I’m glad it was you,” you managed to whisper.
Stan’s eyes softened as he gazed right back at you, his own heart fluttering in his chest. “Me too, baby,” He whispered. “Me too. I love you, man.” He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, his arms tightening around you protectively.
#star speaks#south park#south park x reader#south park smut#south park x y/n#stan marsh smut#stan marsh#stan marsh x reader#stan marsh x y/n#stan marsh x you
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#jjk#goyuu#fic#is this fic hilarious? yes. is it as good as your writing always is? also yes#but the main awe of it to me remains the fact that its in megumis pov because youre a fucking mandman#love that yuuji takes up so much space on the bed. love that megumis just...let him. thats yuujis bed now. he lives there#rip nobara they will never sort their shit out. at least megumis self-aware but also it is SO funny that yuujis that oblivious#[Megumi almost misses what he says.] i can hear and see nobaras judgemental look. hovering. lingering. dude you are down so bad#ah. the paragraph about yuujis death and fake death and the fact that it only came after he died for real.#yuuji never seems bothered. nobara and megumi both slip up. yuuji doesnt talk about those two months. he definitely doesnt mention his death#[“An hour? Both of you? Huh.”] knowing the end of this fic and what yuujis experience of sex ed with gojo is: this is hysterical#the way you build to the delivery of Sex Ed With Gojo-sensei. yuujis casual everything. megumi finds out. “I'd rather cut my dick off.”#cackling and have not stopped cackling#“We started anal last week.” baby boy. sweetie. angel. sugar pie. snookums. you are absolutely bananas#megumis crush being So obvious just everywhere. bodies too close together. yuujis mouth 'soft and wet' against his palm. His Strength#laughing louder and meaner and all at megumis suffering. you did this to yourself#god i fucking love you. yuujis growth rate is nuts!! he keeps up with maki!! he absorbs everything she teaches him!! hes casually insane!!#GOD I FUCKING LOVE YOU. HES VERY GOOD WITH HIS MOUTH?? AND THEN LAUGHING AT MEGUMIS REACTION. i love him#the blushing. the ending. yeah id say gojo likes you. its a problem how much#ah well. at least megumi enjoys himself (he is losing his mind)
Lemme chew on you
It's never not gonna be funny how the PoVs we favor outside of Gojou and Yuuji make the other go "you're insane." Nobara is twenty times harder for me than Megumi is, but you tackle her good and easy. And then there's the Nanami conversations 🤣
Megumi's crush being so incredibly obvious to everyone except Yuuji is such a hilarious concept to me. Hell, it's practically canon. He's Not Subtle. Unfortunately for Megumi, I use it to torment him most of the time. So yes, he can sacrifice his bed and his sanity to Yuuji's...everything. Also, I'm amused and endeared that you zeroed in on that one(1) tiny passage about Yuuji's death and the aftermath. I love your priorities, always.
Also preening that you enjoy the build-up to the Great Reveal. Yuuji is absolutely bananas, true. Love it when you break out the array of saccharine nicknames for him. It's always followed by you calling him unhinged. And yes, it's very much a problem how much Gojou likes Yuuji—poor Megumi sure thinks so!
I'm feeling the love 🥺. Also right back at you. Chewing you x2.
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Gojo Satoru/Itadori Yuuji Characters: Gojo Satoru, Itadori Yuuji Additional Tags: Pre-Shibuya Incident Arc (Jujutsu Kaisen), Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Sex, Abuse of Authority, POV Outsider, Humor, Non-Explicit Sex, Voyeurism, One-Sided Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji
Summary:
“Exhausting? It’s sex ed, Itadori. Gojou-sensei spent an hour trying to embarrass us and bailed when it failed. We didn’t even learn anything.”
“An hour? Both of you? Huh.” Itadori shakes his head. “What did he…do?”
“He projected a bunch of unnecessarily explicit pictures, talked about STDs in gruesome detail, and asked if we were into BDSM.”
Itadori blinks. “That’s it?”
“He also called us boring virgins,” Megumi says drily. “Then he ran off with Kugisaki chasing him.”
“Did she catch him?”
“Obviously not.”
“Huh,” Itadori says again. “He skipped all that for me. Got right into it.”
“Right into what?” Megumi asks warily, straightening up from his huddle on the chair. There’s a weird feeling in his spine that’s got nothing to do with the position.
Itadori cocks his head, like he’s confused by Megumi’s confusion. “The sex part.”
Megumi finds out that Gojou has been giving Yuuji some hands-on sex education.
#nearalways#figured i'd past the tags onto my replies from now#makes it easier!#also i don't trust tumblr to not nuke shit randomly#well i have the tender tags folder#still...#goyuu
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picture of my face where im smiling that i actually like : ) and a blurry picture of tuck cause i didnt understand how to focus his camera <3.//.
#uploads#imjustsittinghere#love tuck#one thing im always saying is that if u want to take good pictures of someone u have to be at least a little in love with them#tuck takes such good pictures of me its insane#the other day i counted and hes in or took literally 50% of my instagram pictures (like 50 of the 100 posts)#i am less good with the camera but i think i do a good job of taking them of him too#dude just knows how to make me look good in a way that i like#we r really in love teehee
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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alan alda storytime
the full story from one of the screenshots of my previous post.
story begins with my archaeology professor showing a slide of alan alda in the early 2000s holding some mammoth bones and asks the class if anyone recognizes him. i had watched some MASH with my mother when i was little and had also seen the movie The Object of My Affection, so i raised my hand and said it was alan alda. he lit up and said yes, it was, and told the rest of the class he used to be on this old show, and that when we got more into the bioanthro side of things, remind him to 'tell his alan alda story'.
about 2 months later, we are in bioanthro, and i remind him. he gets excited and says he included slides to talk about it.
[rest under cut]
he tells us how he had just moved to a new city, and he had taken a university job in order to get insurance for his new family [which he didnt get but thats neither here or there]. he gets news that his job is going to be working with Scientific American Frontiers, hosted by the one and only Alan Alda. my prof was thrilled, he loves MASH, and while he specifically wouldnt be involved in the process [being a presenter, working with alan, etc] he was allowed to be around incase they needed help.
i dont know the specific episode, or if it can be found anywhere, but the topic was early man and tools, and how there were mammoth bones that specifically had cuts that could only be made with tools, not by teeth from an animal. they had finished filming for the day and just needed B-roll of some lions at the local zoo chewing some bones [part of the experiment], and alan got a call. he asked if he could head out now, because he needed to get back to his hotel now, and the call had been important. the producers said sure, go ahead, and alan asked if someone could give him a ride.
my professor, having the chance to actually spend time with someone he idolized, and being a stupid late 20s-something, volunteered immediately. stupid why? well, i said he'd just moved there. he didnt know where the hell anything was, and he didnt have GPS available to him, he was just really excited. so they get in the car and start driving.
as i said in my previous post, alan alda had about 20 minutes with this random guy, and found out pretty quickly that he was an archaeologist, and the amazing topic of conversation that he picked was the [then new] theory that we developed agriculture specifically to make booze, and that the rest of the stuff was more or less a biproduct. which is pretty on-brand honestly.
after a while, alan catches on to the fact that this guy clearly has no idea where the hell hes going, and that they've been driving in circles around the city for a while now. he [reportedly very politely] said that actually, this here was his stop, and thanked him for the ride. he then most likely called a taxi that actually knew where it was going, and got to his hotel.
turns out the call was about The Aviator! the call was important because he learned it was confirmed he in it and they needed him to get over there.
its not a glamourous story, but its the only story i got. my prof reported he was a funny guy, and despite slightly kidnapping the poor man for a while, he was the picture of kindness and personability. and clearly he likes telling the story and it left an impression, because he took time out of our already-short lecture to tell a class of 20-somethings that had no idea who Alan Alda was about it.
sorry this is so verbose i dont know how to be short lmao
#oh yeah#this show is hosted by a guy from an old TV show#mash#mash 4077#mashblogging#alan alda#m*a*s*h#hawkeye pierce#this is the same prof that organized an off-campus field trip thing#and when i said i didnt have a way to get to the place he just. offered to give me a ride#this was a class of like 200 people and just 'well if you need to get there and dont mind a messy truck-'#A+ person overall. gave me a piece of obsidian debitage from a flintknapping demonstration#even babyproofed it for me beforehand. still cut myself on it [i broke a tiny piece off on accident and made it sharp again]#also that moment of raising my hand to go 'alan alda meethinks' was horrifying#silent room looking at this picture of this dude handling mammoth bones and im like 'i can identify this old man. maybe.'#wasnt even sure. ive rewatched MASH now but at the time it was foggy#wasnt even the first time hes shown up in my schooling! im going into psych and the bastard has appeared twice#that episode where they cut the guys corpus callosum. imagine being a 17 yo in a room of 15 yos#[i took the class late] and silently freaking out cause you know who that is but no one else does and then the teacher says#and then a year later being in college in your first psych class and the SAME VIDEO gets played. wild shit#anyway that makes 3 years in a row that at least 1 class has had alan alda in it. if it gets to May next year and he hasnt shown up#im gonna make him show up somehow. dissertation on how hawkeye pierce is a good example of PTSD in media#be the change you want to see in the world
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ok. ok ok. hold on. this is gorgeous and i need to react to everything.
him being made of silica makes sense, although it's funny to imagine that he's made of styrofoam since that's what his real-life statue was made of on the inside lol
the color-changing chromatophores? so cool! and make a lot of sense with my thoughts of Euclydia and Bill's parents! the angsty possibility that the reason Bill keeps drawing them as only red and blue triangles because he only remembers them as the way they were soon before he 'broke out' of Euclydia - angry and distressed/sad. (i didn't come up with this idea, but idk where i saw it - lmk if you know who did!) it's so funny imagining them like the Boov from the movie Home, involuntarily changing colors based on their emotions - that possibility is ripe with goofy scenarios.
yeah, Euclydian's skin being black makes sense with the Theraprism clothes and stuff, I just think it's funnier if he does wear socks and gloves lol
ALSO YEAH it's killing me that we don't know for sure the texture of Bill's hands!!! In the video "How Not to Draw Grunkle Stan" there's a 3D model of Bill and his hands/arms look kinda fuzzy, but that's far enough removed from canon it probably only counts if you want it to.
oooh coelom! I've just gained knowledge! I love fluid-filled cavities!!
his eyelashes being antennae makes a lot of sense, and the retracting and stuff? very cool. we love making animation inconsistencies into lore - this triangle never has a consistent number of eyelashes lol
DUUUDE. "His lashes get longer and he flutters his eyelid more near Ford, probably because he enjoys his smell." AGSHDFHDSHFDS??? HELLO?????? BILLFORD SHIPPERS EATING GOOD TONIGHT
In the Book of Bill, on the page about destroying/liberating Euclydia, Bill says he hears "this loud buzzing in my ears", so theoretically he does have ears somewhere?
in regards to tasting and having a tongue, as far as I know we've never seen Bill with a tongue in canon, although i do subscribe to the headcanon that he has one
okay yeah the way his limbs and those muscles work makes a lot of sense, both the regular human movement & cartoony wiggly stuff! (also, Ford spotted!) i love the little illustration of him with his limbs retracted in his shell :3
lol i love "fictional geometric shaped people"!
"The guy has a thing for teeth" <- you are so right, he's a freak <3
the way his mouth works makes a lot of sense! it's so cool!!
"I also have no idea whether they have an anus and if it’s just one. This is just something I can’t tell you." <- lmao understandable
oh yeah he does like starch doesn't he? yeah he would not care about it being unhealthy lol, that's so him
oooh yeah breathing between his bricks! dude yeah and the voice echoey thing having an anatomy explanation??? especially knowing that you can recreate Bill's voice effect by copying the audio twice, pitching one higher and one lower! and the 'demon voice' being vocal fry makes a lot of sense too!!
"That's why Bill seems to glow when he speaks - he's actually vibrating." <- COOLEST THING EVER??? COOLEST THING EVER ALERT?????? IDK MAN I JUST THINK THIS IS REALLY COOL!!!!!
finally the us government did something good. giving us info about how bill's blood works
omg the heart diagram is so cool - i don't know nearly enough about cardiology to say how accurate it is but IT IS COOL
i think euclydians being cold-blooded makes sense, i've read a couple fanfics where bill 'photosynthesizes'. i just like characters who are cold-blooded (see: Janus from Sanders Sides) because then you can make them lay on warm rocks in the sun and have a joyous time. i'm normal
i love the complete anatomy chart you made of him!!!! your honor, forget obliterating that twink, i want that triangle dissected!
ok. there were my insane ramblings. i am SO excited for the remaining parts of this!!!! i love it when people apply super scientific knowledge to the silliest things, i am HERE FOR IT!!!!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS MASTERPIECE!
Speculative Biology of Euclydians (and Bill Cipher) part 2
Part 1
So this part is what you've all been waiting for, it took so long, but you'll quickly understand why. This part is:
The Biology of Bill Cipher
As always, this analysis is based on two assumptions:
Before Bill Cipher became a demigod, he was a biological, living organism and so were the rest of his species.
Even after Bill Cipher became a demigod, he still retained some physical characteristics of his biological form.
And a fair content warning: This contains anatomy illustrations. This isn't anything gory, but there are people who are squeamish, so you've been warned.
Click on the images to get better quality!
And without further ado, let's begin.
External structures
Euclydians are animals with a very specific shape. They have a shell in a form of a geometric shape and four limbs. Bill is an equilateral triangle, so my analysis will be just on triangular Euclydeans.
They have bilateral symmetry. This type of symmetry is characterized by having a left and a right side placed like mirror images of each other. Humans and majority of Earth’s animals also have this feature.
Bilaterally symmetrical organisms usually have a distinct head region, because of a process known as cephalization. This process moves the animal’s brain and sensory organs towards one end of the body – the head. Euclydians have a head. It’s the “tip of the pyramid” on Bill and that’s where the eye and other sensory organs and brain are located.
Finally, Euclydeans are segmented. Their segments are clearly visible as those weird brick lines on their body. Bill also often separates his body into three segments. This is a part of his god powers, but it tells us that Euclydeans have three major body segments, I’ll call them the tip, the middle and the base. Each segment contains specific organs.
Euclydeans are invertebrates. And yes, I know this image exists, but this is just Bill’s trolling. He’s making fun of human classrooms where we often find skeleton models. That skeleton wouldn’t even be functional, because it doesn’t have any joints in arms and legs, so it wouldn’t be able to move. And it has a hole where the brain would be, so you know, the fucking brain would fall out.
It was outright stated that Bill has an exoskeleton. Having both external and internal skeleton would be a big waste because you have two systems that do the same thing. Besides, the way Bill's limbs move is much more similar to an invertebrate. His shell is also somewhat bendable which would not be possible if it was made of bone. And the eye-mouth complex that Bill uses to eat would also be completely impossible with a set of vertebrate jaws.
Euclydean shell (or exoskeleton) is nothing like anything here on Earth. It’s most likely made out of silica combined with proteins. I say this because Bill turned to stone when he died and he also likes to eat glass, which is pure silica.
The exoskeleton is made out of several parts. It has a front (ventral) and back (dorsal) part. Both the front and the back part of the exoskeleton are made out of head region (the tip) and three layers of “bricks” which are just segments of the exoskeleton.
The front tip is probably made of more protein and elastic tissue than the back, because Bill has a very expressive “face”. This means that he also has quite complex facial muscles. The back of the head is probably the hardest part of the exoskeleton because it protects the brain. Bricks are in the middle since they have a very important role in speaking and breathing, but also allow the shell to bend.
Can Euclydeans change color, or is it just Bill Cipher using his god powers? Well, since he changes his color on instinct, I think they could! Bill can change color to black, yellow, red and blue. This means that he has a complex system of chromatophores – cells that contain little sacs full of pigment. When the sacs inflate, the body appears to be the color of the largest sac, whilst those deflated are invisible. Color changes depending on the pigments contained in inflated sacs. In Bill, the pigments are red, blue and yellow. Yellow is the standard color, it signifies neutral or content emotional state. He turns red when he's angry or wants to look intimidating and blue might signify fear, despair and cry for help. Black is the color of Euclydean’s skin, so when they look black, it’s because all pigment sacs have deflated and the transparent shell allows us to see the skin underneath.
And yes, Euclydeans have black skin. I know some people say that Bill wears thigh high boots and long gloves, but to me, that doesn’t make any sense. Like, that image of him in Theraprism is showing him with clothes over his supposed gloves and boots. Why would they make him wear sneakers over boots? And why baby Bill has yellow hands? Well, that’s something I’ll tell you in the next part where I’ll talk about babies.
Anyways, the skin is black, but we have no idea what it feels like. Seriously, so many people shook hands with Bill and nobody wrote down how his skin feels like! But we know that he has fingerprints. That means that he has very sensitive fingertips and that those little paws were made for grabbing things. Also, Bill doesn’t have any growths on his skin: no nails, hairs, scales etc. I know a lot of people love to draw Bill with claws, but he doesn’t have claws, not even in his most eldritch form. His fingers always remain small and soft. The legs have no fingers and the skin of the sole of their feet is probably thick.
Internal Structures
Coelom
Coelom is one of the most important organs, that you probably don’t know you even have! It’s a fluid filled cavity whose role is to separate internal organs from the muscles of the body wall. This allows organs to move and grow independently of your muscles and it also protects and cushions them against impact. In humans coelom is complex and it’s made out of pericardial cavity (around the heart – allows heart to pump blood), pleural cavity (around lungs – allows lungs to expand while breathing) and peritoneal cavity (around digestive system – allows for expansion and movement of digestive organs).
I believe that Euclydeans also have some form of a coelom. Coelom is even more important in invertebrates, as that’s where their immune system is and it can also serve as a supportive hydroskeleton. Since Euclydeans have a hard shell, they need the protection around their organs. Every shelled animal on Earth has coelom for that reason. They also need room for the food they eat, since the shell can’t expand and their limbs can enter the shell, so they need room for that too.
2. Nervous system
Euclydeans have a vast range of emotions, capability to communicate using speech, body language and even color shifting. They are as intelligent, or more intelligent than humans. They have a highly developed eye and other senses and all of this requires a nervous system. We saw Bill’s optic nerve when his eye got pulled out during Weirdmageddon, so he does have a nervous system, but I can't tell you how exactly it looks like.
There’s one part of Bill that I bet is similar to human - it’s his brain. Bill claims that he can take control over any being a long as they have neurons. This is his god like power, but then, why just beings with neurons? Well, most likely, because he has neurons too and kind of understands how they work. Maybe his brain even produces similar neurotransmitters as ours, so we’re easy to control with them. The brain is in the tip of the pyramid, slightly above eye and it likely has a lot of neurons and a very complex structure. I can’t tell you how exactly is his brain organized, but since he's bilaterally symmetrical, it’s very likely that it has hemispheres. He likely also has two neural cords, like most invertebrates, and those run down the dorsal (back) side of his body
3. Senses
Euclydeans have camera lens type eyes. Now here I can only speak of Bill, since we haven’t seen any other Euclydian. Bill’s eye is large, placed in the center of his “face”. It has eyelids with “eyelashes” (more on them later) and produces tears (Bill cries after his break up with Ford). The pupil is slit and vertical and there is no iris. However, there are muscles that can change the shape and dilation of the pupil. The eye looks similar enough to human that I can confidently say that he has cornea, lens and sclera. The eye is filled with refractory fluid and has some form of retina in the back. Bill’s eye changing color and being used as a projector or to shoot lasers are all parts of his god powers, however, it is possible that his species has a tapetum lucidum, a reflective layer of cells which help animals see in low light conditions and also makes the eye glow in the dark. Bill has color vision and he claims that he can see every part of the electromagnetic spectrum, but I think that's a part of his god powers. However, Euclydeans definitely could see in color, since their alphabet was basically a color code and they also use colors to express emotion.
Since Bill has fingerprints, we can confidently say that his fingers are the most sensitive part of his skin. Bill can feel through his shell too, just like every shelled organism ever (that's why he used Ford as a backscratcher). Tactile senses are very primitive, so Eucliydeans could feel cold, heat, pain, pressure, vibration and everything else just like we do.
Bill has a sense of smell and he even says which scents he finds attractive. This could mean that sense of smell plays a big role in reproduction of Euclydeans, but where is it located? Well, on the eyelashes. Except, those are not eyelashes, they are antennae. Bill has total eight of these antennae, 4 on lower and 4 on upper eyelid. They are very soft and sensitive, so he can retract them inside the eyelid. He does that when he feels threatened, so it’s probably a fight or flight response. His lashes get longer and he flutters his eyelid more near Ford, probably because he enjoys his smell. They are also located close to the mouth, so that’s how he samples the scents of the food.
Euclydeans have great hearing. They communicate vocally, sing, Bill can play the piano, so obviously, they hear. But I have no idea what they use to hear. It could be the bow tie, since it does look vaguely ear shaped, but it's possible that the bow tie isn't actually an organ. In that case, they could have an unknown structure inside them or they could just use their thin exoskeleton to catch sound vibrations.
They taste using their long tongue.
4. Muscles and movement
We have seen Bill’s muscles and they are striated skeletal muscles like mammals and insects have.
As the shell is kind of bendy, there is a lot of muscles underneath it. Those are the muscles of the body, they also move the face and bricks while speaking. The limbs have muscles too and two kinds at that.
When Ford shoots through Bill’s hat (which also a part of him) it is shown that inside of it are strange bone-like structures. These are not bones, since they aren’t articulated, but muscles do connect to them. They kind of remind me of echinoderm ossicles, but they don’t really look like them. This is another fully alien structure and I’ll call them anchors.
You know how Bill’s limbs can both bend just like human arms and legs, like he has elbows, wrists, knees and ankles, but they also bend like goofy rubber-hose cartoon anatomy? Well, that’s because there are two types of muscles in them. There are muscles attached to the anchor points and subcutaneous muscles.
Anchor points are located in the same places as joints in humans. Muscles that attach to them are long and strong and they are used for regulated, precise movement. The subcutaneous muscles (the one we see in his Weirdmageddon image) are used to bend the limbs in every other manner. They are not attached to anchors, but to the skin, so they resemble muscles of octopus arms. They are shorter and less strong, but when they act together they move the limbs in coils. These muscles are also responsible for squishing the limbs inside the shell when they are hidden.
Bill has incredible control and dexterity of his muscles, especially in arms and fingers. Even though his paws are soft and small, he can use them pretty much as efficiently as humans use their hands.
Possibly the strongest muscles in Bill's body are his jaw muscles, so let's talk about those jaws.
5. Eye-mouth complex and the digestive system
Having your eye used for feeding seems wild to us, but this adaptation is seemingly common in fictional geometric shaped people, as it has convergently evolved in Flatland’s inhabitants as well. And, speak what you like, but Euclydeans can’t choke on their food, so they have it better than humans.
I don’t know what Flatlanders eat, but Euclydeans are definitely predators. Now, I know that Bill sometimes depicts himself with human like teeth. The guy has a thing for teeth, especially molars, but he doesn’t have mammalian teeth. In every image where he opens his mouth that was not made by him, we see that he has cone shaped sharp teeth, like a predator. These teeth are great for biting and subduing prey, but they suck at chewing. Euclydeans can’t chew, so they they feed by swallowing chunks that they bite off, or swallowing their food whole if it’s small enough.
Here I depicted how this “eye-mouth complex” functions:
Euclydeans have a stomach in the middle of their body, but I have no idea what goes after it. My best guess is that they have a branching intestine. Our flattest organisms (flatworms, sea stars and brittle stars) all have this type of intestine. It basically means that, instead of just going like a tube, the intestine branches into different parts of the body. I also have no idea whether they have an anus and if it’s just one. This is just something I can’t tell you.
Since Euclydeans are capable of eating a lot of various things, I expect that they have accessory digestive glands (that’s liver and pancreas in humans). Strangely, despite the fact that his anatomy indicates a predator, Bill likes eating starch (pasta, empanadas, sandwiches etc). Most carnivores are unable to digest starch, so I went with god powers, but he ate sandwiches when he was a kid and had no god powers. So, we have two options. Either Euclydeans are omnivores (which, with those teeth, I doubt) or the animals on their planet store their excess calories as starch, not fat, so predators evolved the ability to digest it. If the second one is true, then Bill eating pasta is like your cat eating pure butter. It’s probably not healthy for him, but I don’t think he’s a guy who would give a single crap about that.
6. Breathing and speaking
In The Book of Bill, Bill says that “dumb trapezoids and rhombuses were sucking up his rightful oxygen”. This means that Euclydeans are aerobic organisms – they breathe oxygen. Their skin is dry, so they don't use it for breathing and they also speak, laugh and sing. All of this tells me that they have lungs.
I believe that their lungs are located near the base where the bricks are. The gaps between bricks have little tracheae that lead to the lungs. Bill most likely breathes in from his back side and breathes out from the front. The air is probably forced to travel through small crevices inside the lungs so that it can exchange the oxygen with blood. We don’t know whether Euclydeans exhale carbon dioxide, but they probably do, since they can eat our food, so they probably have similar metabolism to us Earthlings.
Since Euclydeans can speak and laugh, they probably have some kind of a diaphragm. In fact, I think they have two! Their voice has an echo, which means that, most likely, their lungs don’t always expel air at the same time. Air expelling causes the bricks to vibrate which produces sound. That’s why Bill seems to glow when he speaks – he’s actually vibrating. This action is also controlled by muscles. Depending on which row of bricks is vibrating and how many of them are involved, Bill changes the pitch and tone of his voice.
And the growling noise? Well, when Bill uses his demonic voice, he is doing one of two things. He is either using his god like powers to modify his voice, or that’s just how Euclydian vocal fry sounds. If you don’t know what vocal fry is, it’s produced when the vocal chords are vibrating slowly and they become out of sync. This produces a very specific sound and that sound can be made voluntarily. That’s how Mongolian throat singing works. Similarly, Euclydeans could slow down the rate at which their bricks vibrate and make them out of sync to produce that menacing “demon voice” as a threat display.
7. Circulatory system
We know how Euclydean blood looks like. It’s silvery and kind of seems like it glitches. It also contain chemicals that can make humans sick. This means that Euclydeans have much different blood from animals on Earth, but it certainly serves the same function. It’s used to transport nutrients and oxygen through their body.
Since the agents from The Book of Bill were able to draw his blood, it’s clear that Bill has a circulatory system and a closed one at that. The closed circulatory system means that blood vessels end in capillary nets and don’t open inside the body cavity like they do in molluscs and insects. If the agents used syringe to pull Bill’s blood and he had an open circulatory system, they could actually collapse the entire thing as they would pull his organs as well. That’s why I believe that he has a closed circulatory system.
Closed circulatory system requires a heart and I believe that Bill’s heart is located between his lungs, like ours. I have no proof that his heart looked anything like in the illustration, but I looove cardiology, so I did all this just because I wanted to draw a weird heart. I don’t think Euclydeans have a super complex four chambered heart like we do, they most likely have two or three chambered heart. The heart separates lung and body circulation and regulates their blood pressure.
The capillary nets are all located in important places: lungs where they exchange oxygen, intestines where they absorb nutrients and brain where they feed the neurons. Euclydeans have a rather large brain, so it probably uses most of their calories and oxygen.
8. Other systems
I can’t tell you anything abut Euclydean excretory system. I don’t know whether they produce urine or not, if they have kidneys, nephrocytes or something completely different. I genuinely have no idea.
They have to have an immune system because they are multicellular. Every single multicellular organism including sponges and plants has some form of an immune system. I believe Euclydeans have something similar to coelomocytes - a very common type of immune cells in invertebrates which reside in coelomatic cavity.
I'll talk about reproductive system in Part 3!
Are Euclydeans warm or cold-blooded?
This was a very tough one, because they could be both, but I am leaning more towards cold-blooded. They have very little muscle mass and heat is produced within the muscles via trembling or metabolic heat (heat released in various chemical reactions in the body). When an animal has very little muscle it isn’t used for that. Even mammals like sloths who have significantly reduced muscle mass become dependent on the surrounding temperature. Also, Euclydean flat shape can easily distribute heat they absorb, so they wouldn’t need to waste energy making their own. On top of that, Euclydeans don’t wear clothes, which can be a cultural thing, sure, but they could also not wear clothes because they need their skin exposed so that it could absorb heat.
Here's how Bill Cipher's complete inner anatomy looks like:
There, I hope you enjoyed this! I'll see you hopefully next week to tell you about Euclydean reproduction and development.
Thank you @ok1237 @unoriginal-starwalker and @chrystalitar for your support :D
(Also, I hid Ford Pines in one of the anatomy illustrations. Can you find him? Click on the images for better quality!)
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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