#makes it easier!

[soracities]

"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

[ms-demeanor]

hey, don't cry. one cup heavy whipping cream, two tablespoons granulated sugar, three tablespoons cocoa powder and whisk until stiff peaks form for three ingredient chocolate mousse, okay?

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[hinamie]

10 years later

[anarchopuppy]

I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn't have to read a subtitle that's obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what's going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren't perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished

[notbecauseofvictories]

I don't know how strictly accurate this is, but one of the things I find shocking about watching historical dramas is how many people there are around all the time---according to Madame de... (1953) a well-off French household in the Belle Epoque maintains a workforce of at least 3, and the glittering opera has staff just to open doors. According to Shogun (2024) you can expect a deep bench just to mind your household, and again, people who exist to open doors.

Could people....not open doors in the past? Were doors tricky, before the standardization of hinges? Because otherwise, the wealthy used to pay a whole bunch of people to do it for them in multiple contexts, and I find myself baffled.

[nollimet]

Just some late night post card making ft Gars

[ID: horizontal lines of blue and white identical garfish with orange and yellow stars interspersed. end ID]

[jimmycarterghostland]

Me writing a scene with two or more people of the same gender and trying not to get the readers confused, while also trying not to overuse the characters' names or epithets

[katsinspats]

I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes

Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:

[voxofthevoid]

#jjk#goyuu#fic#is this fic hilarious? yes. is it as good as your writing always is? also yes#but the main awe of it to me remains the fact that its in megumis pov because youre a fucking mandman#love that yuuji takes up so much space on the bed. love that megumis just...let him. thats yuujis bed now. he lives there#rip nobara they will never sort their shit out. at least megumis self-aware but also it is SO funny that yuujis that oblivious#[Megumi almost misses what he says.] i can hear and see nobaras judgemental look. hovering. lingering. dude you are down so bad#ah. the paragraph about yuujis death and fake death and the fact that it only came after he died for real.#yuuji never seems bothered. nobara and megumi both slip up. yuuji doesnt talk about those two months. he definitely doesnt mention his death#[“An hour? Both of you? Huh.”] knowing the end of this fic and what yuujis experience of sex ed with gojo is: this is hysterical#the way you build to the delivery of Sex Ed With Gojo-sensei. yuujis casual everything. megumi finds out. “I'd rather cut my dick off.”#cackling and have not stopped cackling#“We started anal last week.” baby boy. sweetie. angel. sugar pie. snookums. you are absolutely bananas#megumis crush being So obvious just everywhere. bodies too close together. yuujis mouth 'soft and wet' against his palm. His Strength#laughing louder and meaner and all at megumis suffering. you did this to yourself#god i fucking love you. yuujis growth rate is nuts!! he keeps up with maki!! he absorbs everything she teaches him!! hes casually insane!!#GOD I FUCKING LOVE YOU. HES VERY GOOD WITH HIS MOUTH?? AND THEN LAUGHING AT MEGUMIS REACTION. i love him#the blushing. the ending. yeah id say gojo likes you. its a problem how much#ah well. at least megumi enjoys himself (he is losing his mind)

Lemme chew on you

It's never not gonna be funny how the PoVs we favor outside of Gojou and Yuuji make the other go "you're insane." Nobara is twenty times harder for me than Megumi is, but you tackle her good and easy. And then there's the Nanami conversations 🤣

Megumi's crush being so incredibly obvious to everyone except Yuuji is such a hilarious concept to me. Hell, it's practically canon. He's Not Subtle. Unfortunately for Megumi, I use it to torment him most of the time. So yes, he can sacrifice his bed and his sanity to Yuuji's...everything. Also, I'm amused and endeared that you zeroed in on that one(1) tiny passage about Yuuji's death and the aftermath. I love your priorities, always.

Also preening that you enjoy the build-up to the Great Reveal. Yuuji is absolutely bananas, true. Love it when you break out the array of saccharine nicknames for him. It's always followed by you calling him unhinged. And yes, it's very much a problem how much Gojou likes Yuuji—poor Megumi sure thinks so!

I'm feeling the love 🥺. Also right back at you. Chewing you x2.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Gojo Satoru/Itadori Yuuji Characters: Gojo Satoru, Itadori Yuuji Additional Tags: Pre-Shibuya Incident Arc (Jujutsu Kaisen), Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Sex, Abuse of Authority, POV Outsider, Humor, Non-Explicit Sex, Voyeurism, One-Sided Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji

Summary:

“Exhausting? It’s sex ed, Itadori. Gojou-sensei spent an hour trying to embarrass us and bailed when it failed. We didn’t even learn anything.”

“An hour? Both of you? Huh.” Itadori shakes his head. “What did he…do?”

“He projected a bunch of unnecessarily explicit pictures, talked about STDs in gruesome detail, and asked if we were into BDSM.”

Itadori blinks. “That’s it?”

“He also called us boring virgins,” Megumi says drily. “Then he ran off with Kugisaki chasing him.”

“Did she catch him?”

“Obviously not.”

“Huh,” Itadori says again. “He skipped all that for me. Got right into it.”

“Right into what?” Megumi asks warily, straightening up from his huddle on the chair. There’s a weird feeling in his spine that’s got nothing to do with the position.

Itadori cocks his head, like he’s confused by Megumi’s confusion. “The sex part.”

Megumi finds out that Gojou has been giving Yuuji some hands-on sex education.

[thegreendiamondart]

The eepy beansssss

I need these two to be cuddly before I throw trauma their way :)

[gripes-withthesun]

Appreciation post for everyone explaining a joke in comments and posts when someone doesn't get it, for people willing to explain pop culture references that fly over someone's head, for people answering genuine questions about some issue someone has trouble understanding, for people who take enquiries about "common sensical" stuff in good faith, I love you <3

[nineherbscharm]

you just got a new job. choose your boss

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[senblades]

Distortions, and ways to see the world

[sirotras]

“we need to make it easier to discover new blogs and creators”

ok then. fix the search. you know, the search function that has been notoriously broken for YEARS. that ppl have complained abt FOR YEARS

make it easier to follow tags, allow ppl to filter out other tags when searching thru them, or to search multiple tags at once, and make these functions EASY TO USE and widely known

give a clear guide on HOW tagging works! what will exclude a tag, etc