#dude i'm so hype to get into this one
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Masonry of the Body is a gothic horror webcomic set in 1816 following the story of Ada who finds herself sheltering through a long winter in an isolated castle with its strange occupants: The nervous but dutiful Inge, the cold and controlling Master, and an unseen wife.
Masonry of the Body is a gothic horror comic that regularly shows imagery of body horror, eyes, blood, and gore. This comic is recommended for readers 16+ for mature themes. Tread carefully.
https://harpercrane.com/Masonry%20of%20the%20Body/
This comic has a tumblr! You can follow it here @masonryofthebody and the author is ALSO here @art-sicordial !
(that second image was listed on their extras page as a Silly Thing and not Promo Material BUT it sold me on the thing so I'm listing it too lmfao)
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GUYS. GUYS GUESS WHO'S FINALLY GONNA BE SEEING THE ABCK 5O TUE FUTURE MUSICAL IN JANURAYR
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#MY PARENTS AND I ARE GOING TO CELEBRATE MY 21ST#I'M SCREAMINGGG I'VE BEEN VIBRATING EVER SINCE MY MOM SAID YES A FEW HOURS BACK#AND WE'RE GONNA GET ORCHESTRA PIT SEATS TOO??!??!?!?!?!?!#SHJFKJWJSJCJJEIWIDHCBJWUDJWODBJCJEIEJFNG#we're gonna be seeing the touring one and not the broadway one#so we sadly won't get to bear witness to the absolute icon that is roger bart :/#BUT STILL#IT'S GONNA BE SO INSANE#(and maybe someday we'll get to see the broadway performance with roger cause that'd be the DREAM dude)#I'M SERIOUSLY . OVWR THE MOON RIGHT NOW#HAVE BEEN FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS#I'M GETTING THE TICKETS AFTER I FINISH EATING IM SO HYPED#GUYS. I'M FINALLY GONNA SEE IT#AFTER ALL THIS TIME#WOOHOOOOOOKGJFJJF!!!!!!!*&!^!%#RAAAAARRRGHHHGGHGG 💥💥💥💥💥#I'M GOING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW.#EXPECT ME TO BE VERY NOT NORMAL ABOUT BTTF IN THE COMING DAYS ESPECIALLY#sam says things#back to the future the musical#bttf the musical#back to the future#bttf
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pfps too, btw :3
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#doodles#oc#blue space#i love playing with layers ! ! ! hfsh :>#i really liked this one little pose from my inks lol ; go dude go !!#also i updated bl.s in wbtns 👍 really cool and sick hghbvfh#i'm super hyped to get to the later portions of this story (! ! ! !) but i like the moon part a lot too so yippee woohoo yeayy :D#[spins spins spins]#like !!!#there are Things. and Stuffs. you know what i'm saying [<- looking one specific guy in the eyeballs]#anywho yeyeya :3 i'm gonna go actually devote attention to something else now lmfvhsv#my poor youtube videos trying their best <//3 gfshf#maybe something colourful.. i like colours.... [<- like dawning realization]#okey so i go now!! poof !! [poofs]
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on my hands on knees as bishop CIancy is basically confirmed
#axel blabs#WE MUST DESTROY THEM OR WE WILL BECOME THEM#AND IF WE BECOME THEM WE MUST DO BETTER#fuuuuuuuuuuck twenty one pilots for this#/lh#bECAUSE MY BOY IS RPOBABLY GONNA BE BISHOP IN CANON AND THEN MAYBE KILL THE OTHER BISHOPS#INSIDE JOB#DUDE I'M SO HYPED#holds head in hands if Clancy gets a second half of the album#and its about bishop clancy fucking dema up i'm gonna go fucking insane#i'm gonna go feral i'm gonna go CRAZY#you will all witness why i love clancy sm and its bc i love twenty one pilots lore
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like i don't mean to be a debbie downer so don't come for me but how are they releasing an album just a few days after yeonjun's mixtape lmao this whole thing is so messy
#i'm sure i'll be hyped once we start getting concept pics and teasers etc#and i know yeonjun won't be promoting another solo song (i think) but i still wish they'd let him rest#bc i know the others had some time off while yj was promoting ggum#but he didn't!!!#and then december will come and we all know he's the one who will probably have to do more dance breaks and maybe even solo stages#which is unfair to all of them including him bc then he's gonna be the most oberworked member (again)#idk dude#usually when a new logo drops i feel so excited but when i saw the notification this time my immediate reaction was ''is this a joke'' 😭#it looks really pretty tho...#i wonder if we'll continue on the same story or if their lore is actually over#and i still don't get why the hell they'd release the mixtape in late october and then make txt have a cb in the first week of november#messy messy
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not to project too hard onto a fictional character but at what point did it just become so standard for John to get high grades in academics that his family stopped acknowledging it because that was the norm
#is this bc i told my family about my results and literally no one said anything despite responding to my second question#so i know they saw it#yes 😔#come on fam I'm allowed to be proud and excited and I want to share that 🥺🥺🥺🥺#yes I DO want to be told congrats for every result I worked hard for that!!#how is it that my friends and colleagues are more hyped than you i don't get it#(i will make character sad for the same reasons as me watch out)#anyway my family are very lovely but alas tall poppy syndrome is rampant#and i'm just more senstive bc the sads are here for other reasons#but also dude :(#idk#also this is not a post meant to be like john's soooo much smarter than everyone else bc he is not and I'll die on that hill#they're all smart#but i do like the idea of him being into academics and basing just a bit too much of his self esteem on his grades#and falling just a wee bit on the arrogant side of pride when it comes to those smarts#bc that is something I do unfortunately relate to 🤪🤪#forreal physics students get a bit of a god complex and are super insufferable for a few years source: me#so#am i rambling to make myself feel better yes#poking fun at john is a favourite past time of mine what can i say#anyway releasing this into the world bc screw it#then I should probs make dinner bc it's getting a bit late
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hello can nick and i get married yet just asking for a friend
#he's the weirdest dude but he's so fucking patient with me#i need someone patient and stable to ride the emotional waves with me until i get better at self regulating#so far i'm getting really good at telling him that i need a minute or i'm going to be mean and passive aggressive#so then he gives me a minute and i regroup and then can speak rationally#which is GREAT for me who was once so brutally cruel instinctively#anyway by patient and stable i didn't mean he's my punching bag#i just meant that he doesn't match my extreme emotions (he will match excitement and happiness) and thus provides a baseline#like he stays steady so when i'm upset or mad he'll ask why and i break it down and by the time it's broken down i'm like... okay#so there was no reason to be upset#and we talk about impact vs intent all the time like sometimes he a lil weird in talking so it comes off bad#but yeah he's just really stable and so it's easy to bring myself back if no one is hyping me up#and whenever i'm irritated with him i'll still call his ass and put myself on mute and fall asleep with him on the phone#he's very good at calling me out too (he's also great at taking accountability if he does something)#like one time he showed me a video and i only watched a sec before jumping down his throat#and he called me out and i apologized and redirected and all#one time he had an attitude (when I was upset) and i was like dude what's with the tone#he's also good at like... idk what to call it#but he told me during one of those times when i was upset that it wasn't fair to him to say no but then expect him to do it anyway#because how was he supposed to know when to listen to me and when to not? it was a no win for him and it wasn't fair#and you know what? he was so correct and true for it#i apologized for that too#anyway. when can i marry him.#nick
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Alright, third verse, same as the first two, but NEW GASH BELL MANGA CHAPTER AGAIN
I'M GONNA SOB
EVERY TIME AN OLD CHARACTER RETURNS
I'M JUST GONNA BE A FUCKIN WRECK GUYS
WE GOT MEGUMI AND TIO BACK TOGETHER EVERYONE CHEER RIGHT FUCKIN NOW I MEAN IT
Agh I want Won Lei and Lee Yen to show up soon but I know it's probably gonna be Umagon and Sunbeam first. I'm not disappointed, obviously but I MISS WON LEI AND LEE YEN OKAY????
I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT WON LEI WAS SO FUCKING COOL I MISS HIM
#And not just them#I miss so many people#I wanna see Brago and Sherry#I WANNA SEE DANNY#AND TED#AND CHERISH#FUCK DUDE WE'LL PROBABLY GET APOLLO AND ROPPES AGAIN AND THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME INTO A SOBBING PUDDLE LET ME TELL YOU NOW#This is what I love about this manga#There are so many characters with so many distinct personalities#I couldn't list all the people I wanna see again if you held a gun to my head I wanna see them ALLL#There are even a bunch of smaller characters who only got one or two chapters#I can already think of a few who are almost definitely gonna get the spotlight at some point and I'm HYPED#I MISSED THEM ALLL SO MUCH#except zophise#They're a bitch-ass Freeza-looking mother-fucker#Fuck em#Bring in Kururu#And even Momon#AND WON LEI GOD DAMN YOU BRING HIM AND LEE YEN BACK SOON PLEASE I BEG#Zatch Bell#Gash Bell#Zatch Bell 2#Gash Bell 2#Zatch Bell Manga#Tio#Megumi Ooumi#Kiyomaro Takamine#Umagon#Sunbeam#DNAVerse Discussions
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once again i implore you to listen to ffxiv ost 🙏
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#i cld ramble on n on about the lyrics n everything n#hdflkasjdflksdfjsad 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼#apollo's logged into my instagram account n vice versa#THE FINAL FANTASY DJ GUY#i ramble so much on tumblr that i'm too shy on even like. close friends on ig i don't rlly put the time#but. bro. wnvr apollo n i nerd out or wtvr he hypes us !!!!#😭😭 dude's so nice i think it rlly does mean a lot to him that apollo n i r like. rlly passionate about. yk interests that he shares#so wait context yes i'm logged into apollo's account ^^ so i see stuff in my notifs#🥺 said smth like yk 'wish i had your confidence when i was about your age' & HE'S GNA. RLLY ACTUALLY PLAY FFXIV SOON#hdfaksldjfl pls.. world transfer.. to materia T_T#ngl if i cld have a free world transfer again to like. idk wherever. i think i'd go to elemental bcs currently problem is kinda ping still#i mean. not that it's actually a problem rn. but. yeah.#elemental wld still be better but the free world transfer to materia.. :^) in the future though i know i'm not staying in materia so#rip gil? 😭 nah i'm a crafter anyways actually hehe. i think dude's just like. ah yeah free trial. but i think he's gna buy again.#sorry i ended up rambling abt that i just get rlly excited when it comes to ffxiv n any of my friends#as much as i ramble on tumblr i don't actually. typically share stuff directly w others? :< maybe some friends but#yeah usually i just have apollo. n before i'd usually be the ones listening n. sometimes i'd even get uncomfortable when i'd#be given the chance or like yk given encouragement to share too (trust issues </3)#WAIT I'M RAMBLING 😭 yeah bcs i rlly wna share ffxiv stuff or ff in general n talk abt it w others aaaaa#like i'm listening to return to oblivion rn n. 🥹😭 T_T :^) HDLSKFJASLKDF#wahh that said though most of the things i have to do this week r. actually today. bcs i'm helping w the script#n my grpmates r gna do more on the video bcs i might fuck up or smth w speaking in filipino T_T then lit's gna be fun#but it's due 10 pm today n i haven't started anything yet#whoops! i guess i'll take a nap first though <3 (pls do not follow my example. i'll get it done anyways but Don't)
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The thing is, why would you want to be a Teacher?
Lemme put it to you this way, ya go to college to learn to teach kids and think it's gonna be a good time. Turns out the pay is dogshit and the working conditions unmanageable. The fuckin janitor makes more than you with more time off.
That is just a recipe for hiring and creating abusers. If mcdonald's was a daycare, they'd pay more Knowing it'd keep abusers and riff raff away and increase chances of a good candidate. Y'know, to be around children without parental supervision for hours n hours? Might be worth being strict with who you hire?
My solution is fire all teachers, raise pay, lower classroom sizes, more time off for student and teacher alike, take a year to close schools to rehire. Then we gotta work on that silly ol' "Children are being shot dead in school" problem. Y'know, if that ever becomes important to america.
As is, if ya raise pay ya just gave a bonus to the job that enables, creates, and rewards abuse, filled with established abusers. They will not give up their job benefit of being able to excert too much control over children just because conditions and pay are better, it's apart of the job to abuse children and they will continue to no matter what. Fire em.
As far as how kids are behaving today compared to my time, which was dreadfully peaceful and thus easier for staff to abuse children, I imagine it has to do with dogshit staff and dogshit conditions and dogshit protection alongside dogshit education and while boomers scream about the sanctity of life (clumps of cells in other people's bodies) they're also ensuring even more escalatory school shootings to keep growing.
So you're forced to be somewhere filled with abusers, surrounded by enablers, and timmy's dad hit timmy a lil too hard and now he's got a gun in school. Yeah I'd not take anything seriously in school either, it's an absolute fucking joke, we made a place to force children into that is now a pachinko machine of "Who Dies? And How Horrifically?"
We just had a non-binary child murdered in school and governor and principal alike danced on their grave. Cmon. Tell me otherwise at this point that school isn't a pachinko "who dies?" filled with established abusers. When the government is helping a child be murdered, school no longer is safe for your child. Simple as.
Don't get me started on how we handled Covid, we just doomed a generation to not taking diseases seriously by forcing them back to public school practically in the middle of the pandemic. Fucking stupid shit. Oh and if your gram gram died of covid? Best bet a kid is gonna blame school if they manage a thought that far. I would. Absolutely I would. THE place for diesease to spread and ya forced children into it to spread back to their homes killing family. I'm speechless. But don't take it seriously folks! It's just the flu! Just send your kids into the disease machine to come home with it! This place isn't a fucking joke at all!
No your anecdotal "Cool Reddit Teacher" is not common, they are uncommon and usually in well running blue states. Not red states or dying blue states. If you're in a good school, congrats on the unicorn, just understand that unicorn ain't anything but a severe rarity I guarantee only you can relate to.
I kinda approve of how the youth are in school tbh. No room for a teacher to try and fuck with you because their life is more miserable than your child-self's own. Just saying, if ya want the respect of your students, be a better person?
Or accept the system is so fundamentally broken that the generation you're dealing with has already got more to deal with in their future than a doubling of your past. Your dumbass ain't the target in a school shooting 9/10 times. You're paid. They're wasting their time being in absolute danger.
Undeniably they're wasting their time, since anytime the topic of teaching 'how to write checks' is met with "but you'd sleep through it" Good point, cancel education folks, the teacher just said their job is frivilous and I say we listen to them this one time.
Clearly this topic was solely about checks and not the demonstrably broken system we have in place that doesn't prepare you for quite literally anything. Cool place to end a topic, cancel school because no one actually uses it, got ya. Smart. (This happens so often I'm convinced it's an open secret between teachers that they just want the power, since money or education clearly ain't apart of it)
Regardless, not everywhere teaches the same things and as a teacher that shouldn't have evaded your awareness, but it did, because it further helps normalize and enable how you treat people with no way to defend themselves. If education isn't important, then what is? Obviously, abuse. Otherwise you'd not make my point more abundant by doubling down your belief that kids are stupid and the problem (and thus are deservedly abuseable, just finishing your thought.)
Sincerely believe parents told their kids "Don't take any shit from teachers, they fucked with me and my friends all the time, fuck with them back." and ya'll gotta deal with it. Sucks if you're caught in the crossfire...but like...you chose the job that creates abusers and dead children? A place that enables bullying and eggs bullies to target specific kids? Not sure why you'd be upset at your own decision making- like you probably went to this school? Wait, you weren't targeted and had everyone supporting you? Oh that's why you have the wrong opinion about school, makes sense now.
Anyways fuck public school, teachers are barely more trustable than a cop. Kids are uppity because there's no point to being in a dangerous place that admits it has no purpose and given the conditions, only hires and retains abusers, in a system dying from R interference, they elect to blame the children, for the job they chose not to really fight for when it mattered politically.
Yeah nah, I'm still on the side of the little scared people who don't know enough about the world to recognize that their neurodivision causes an untold amount of rage in your fucking entire body to the point ya try getting them arrested and start stalking them to the point of them becoming a NEET, and these days, your ass is on "THE" list and my ass is laughing at it, thank ya for coming to this deliberately awful ted talk, believe children over teachers pls. There's little point not to given being a teacher or cop is less respectable than being a janitor tbh.
Also google Kids4Kash and see how fucking bad it got in my time. I have no sympathy for teachers today. Sucks, but ya'll ensured parents told their kids to stand up to you. Maybe next time find a better career than child abuser if ya can't handle it? Just a thought. :) Better, respectable career options is all. :) Try becoming a Veteranarian? :) Oh wait, too much empathy/sympathy required for that, guess ya gotta be homeless. oh well.
#rant#teachers#school#Bro people say they have nightmares thinking they gotta go to school or messed up at school#I wish I had such mundanity but my nightmares are usually being stalked#There's so much that happened in my school I can't even say#but sincerely ask your children if they're okay#like holy shit nobody listened to kids in my time#no one. You were fully alone. If not for my Ma who knows where I'd be#Sincerely believe today's youth are the way they are because the same teachers potentially still work at the school their parents went to#or if not regardless. Don't let your kid be abused#I'd be hype as hell if I got a call saying my son or daughter was in trouble for disrespecting authority or some dumbshit#or hell better yet. They got in a fight standing up for their friend. And the school wants only them in trouble#I'd laugh and tell them to get a chair out for me because I'm coming to sit and let out some pent up rage#but sincerely do not tell your kids to trust teachers#You yourself have a difficult job of finding people to trust#a job title is meaningless haha#Your kid should know when they're being targeted by a teacher and what to do in that case#and you as a parent better be ready to call a lawyer every 5 minutes because that school will force you to get one eventually#seriously if you had a good school? You should speak up and say those are the standards you expect from all schools#not blindly believe all schools are like your own haha cmon dude please#So often people blame the victim of abuse in school. I need to to know there's a paint bucket thick amount of digust for you coming from me#if I poured it on your head it'd encapsulate all the way down to your toes#a cacoon of inhumanity I will get drunk off of piss on just to light aflame and wander away without a second thought#10 feet underground with no air would be too peaceful for you. Sincerely.#anyways#trust kids. Fire teachers. Raise pay. More time off. A parent in each classroom would be nice#It's funny how R's want to abolish education and L's think it needs completel revamped but trust teachers everyone!!! As if. I don't trust#mcdonald's cashier's with my child. Do you? You're safer with them actually than a teacher#there's consequences for one thing...
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#ten minz b4 I saw this I was for w/e reason reminded of how this one time at tha shore I think tha fam was outside tha hermit crab shoppe#this guy skates by and I think turned the corner like right in front of us#I might have my timelines mixed up and I was so into that shiddy board my homie had because I had seen that dude#I'm pretty sure that I already had it tho and seeing that dude was the first time I was like “I gotta skate rn”#I remember also being so hype getting tha christmas hobie da cat board from toys r us or w/e catalog that I believe I've mentioned#I got it and it obviously just sucked n I still couldn't even roll#I probably couldn't roll for literally 4 years of skating#actually I remember going back and forth on my porch bcos w/o the sidewalk cracks I could actually move a little#all this 2 say I feel like w/o those shiddy boardz I'd have went fast n slammed one time and been over skating#young men need these boards 2 save themselves from themselves#skateboards don't kill people
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happy hockey dayyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🏒⛸🥅🚨❄️
#is it obvious i'm excited ?????? it's very subtle i know#totally did not drive home listening to those 2021 versions of the songs and almost cried !! =D#dude like i'm so excited i can't even#again - i have not been this hyped up since 2021#idk man i just have a good feeling about this season. it's gonna be a special season#also - why did they update the songs on spotify 🥲#why didn't they just release new versions while keeping the older ones 🥲#i wanted to hear both the suzuki/cole & the patch/subby versions 😭😭#those songs get me in my feels like ughhh the nostalgia#can't believe 2021 is ancient history now like i haven't moved bro. i'm still there#maybe this is the season that starts it all up again 😭#idk maybe it's the fact we have a documentary or maybe it's the fact laine is finallyyyy here#or maybe it's all the growth i've gone through and it finally feels ok to be a hockey fan again like it doesn't hurt anymore lol#it's so good life is so good i am sooooo excited for this season#LFGGGGG#habs lb
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Lemme tell you a gay little story about an eagle.
Our town (~9,000 people) has a couple garages, but there's a big one on the main drag. My family has been going there for decades. I drive past it every day.
There used to be a huge pine tree on the corner of their lot, but last year it became a hazard and had to be taken down.
Shortly thereafter I drive by and see they've hired a guy to chainsaw sculpt the stump into a bald eagle.
Birds own my heart, but nationalism makes me twitchy. I withhold outright condemnation of the eagle, but I'm skeptical. (The original owner—an objectively Good Dude—sold the business to a younger couple a few years ago, and I don't have any knowledge of their whole deal.)
Then it turns out someone on staff is really into making costumes for the eagle. Every holiday. Every month. Stuffed turkey, witch costume, menorah headpiece, bunny ears. These people love to dress their bird.
The changing of the eagle suit becomes a source of joy every time I drive through town.
Until June, when the eagle is bare.
Now look, maybe I'm expecting too much asking my garage to celebrate Pride. But this is a small town. Every time I drive by that stupid eagle—this thing that has previously brought me so much joy—I feel hurt. I feel reminded that there are plenty of people in my liberal bubble who don't consider my community worthy of celebration. I drive to work, I feel bad. I drive home, I feel bad. The eagle is mocking me.
Then my A/C quits working.
So I book an appointent to bring my car in—and realize what I have to do.
I pick all this up at a thrift store for under ten bucks. I print the shirt with some weird heat-transfer fabric crayons I find in a cupboard. I loop gold elastic around the sunglasses and pray they'll fit on the eagle's head. (It is also important to draw your attention to the price of the feather boa.)
(Nice.)
My reasoning is thus: if I show up with a complete costume ready to go, someone will have to look me in the eye and say "We don't believe in that," at which point I'll be finding a new garage. But if they let me dress the eagle, then people in town get to have the joy I've been missing since the start of the month.
I listen to a lot of hype-up jams on my way over. I hate confrontation. I also don't wanna have to find another garage. I want to believe that this decision isn't actively antagonistic, but I'm not particularly hopeful.
I talk through the A/C issue with the guy at the desk, hand over my keys, then take a deep breath.
"Who's in charge of the eagle?"
"Oh, that's all Dylan. Second bay from the end."
I walk down the row of hydraulic lifts and find a disarmingly smiley middle-aged man pouring fluid through a funnel. I introduce myself and explain that, since the Pride parade is this Sunday and the eagle seems to be missing a costume, I have taken the liberty of making one myself, and can I get his blessing to go put it on?
Dylan grins this absolutely giant grin and goes
"Oh hell yeah."
So that's what's up now.
Happy Pride.
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was up til 4 writing last night woohooooo :3
#just me hi#and i FINISHED what i was writing ! ! ! ! :DD#happy happy happy abt that lol !!#i was only like half-conscience for the last two full thirds of it (that's certainly an Experience btw lmfvshg) but it's not too bad either#i finished another short thing a couple months ago i think and i'd thought that was insane#turns out if you wanna get things done you just add easily achieved checkpoints. a thing i already knew but had not applied to writing ever#for some reason hkfsvhjg#like i finished it !! i finished the thang ! ! !#i rarely ever finish writing things cuz i don't think i have the network for that lolll - but i Did and ! ! ! :DD#and i didn't feel too bad waking up this morning so this is nothing but wins dude ! ! :D#ofc i'll have to go to bed earlier now tonight but yippeeee#i'm just really darn diddly pleased about it. yeah hbghfhs#//and what else..#drinkin strawberry lemonade rn !!! i love you strawberry lemonade houh <33#oouhhh one of my fave songs just came on hbghfs#wow i Am having nothing but wins today !! sick sick sick :D#//oh and since it's getting cooler i wanna go skating ! !#gotta mention that every now and then. i also love my skates hfbsh <3#they're crusted in mud (i am so sorry skates) cuz of that one time i hit the ditch (lmao) and i forgot to clean them so they've just been#Waiting for that Lol#i'll prolly get those cleaned later! hopefullyyyyyy gfhshv#yea also since i got bigger wheels than i'm used to (cuz i can't keep up w/ my siblings w/ dying wheezing lmfhsvhjg) i have to relearn some#stuff like it's Brand-brand new#but i Did master that one hill that spooked me (i went Flying dude i think it looked majestic hgkfsj) so we're making progress !! :D#hyped hyped hyped for thatttt#i miss that big empty lot in belle isle for this kinda thing but that's alright. tiny sidewalk we must join forces now#//i'm running out of tag space n i'm sposed to be doin stuff Hfhkhfjsv - toodles tooooodles :D !!
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i love people's willingness to get hype over dumb shit.
I was driving home today and pull up to a light. As i'm slowing down i ���️👁️ lock 👁️👁️ eyes with the dude in the car next to me. I spring into action, this is the moment I've been waiting for.
Now, something you must know about me is I drive around with several small plastic 🦀crabs 🦀 on my dashboard, One: for the whimsy of it all and two: on the off chance i encounter another driver who i think could benefit from witnessing them.
This young gentleman was one such someone.
As i pull up, as previously stated, our eyes lock and I hold up one☝️ finger☝️
Perplexed by my unprompted gesticulation, the young man rolls down his window, "what the devil could this perfect stranger be about to tell me?" he might have been thinking.
I present a singular dashboard crab, green and brown, homely but not without its charm.
I study his reaction, grinning encouragingly. He's nodding, obviously intrigued by my plasticine crustacean.
I wag my finger and shake my head, removing the crab from view. Confusion again, but he leans forward, invested. I have him now.
I grab my second dashboard crab, a rotund white and brown crab, easily the most beautiful of my crabs as it sports large discernible claws of an attractive size and silhouette.
✌️ TWO ✌️ i tell him.
He's cheering now, and rightly so, as these are delightful little beasts that anyone would be happy to encounter. But now comes the clincher, time to seal the deal.
My finger wags once more. He's awestruck, I have him completely enraptured. If a car had come and smeared us both into the pavement we would not have noticed, so wrapped up in my display were we.
I bring out my showstopper: a bright pink spider crab with delicately long legs the likes of which had never before nor since been seen in mid afternoon traffic.
As emphatically as i can express, I display all three of my dashboard crabs to this man, three fingers pressed triumphantly to the glass.
the guy is losing it in his car, mouth wide in what i assume to be a primal shout of crab derived excitement. His arms are pumping so vigorously its shaking his stationary vehicle.
We sit there, sharing in a moment of mutual jubilation, and then the light changes, and we move forward in line. He drives off, honking his horn in rapturous exultation,
and we part ways, exactly the same perhaps but changed nonetheless.
🦀
#nat chats#like i tell it very flowery but that's literally what happened#i wanna make a bumper sticker that just says “ask me about my crabs”#just so i can show people#og post
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I do have to impress on anyone who wasn't around for it how batshit the reality boom of the 2000s could be. Especially on Fox.
Here are some 100% real 2000s reality shows:
Who's Your Daddy? A woman has to guess which of eight men is her biological father. One of them really is, and if she guesses right she wins $100,000. If one of the seven fake dads convinces her to guess them, he wins $100,000.
Black. White. A white family learns about racism by living a month in blackface, while a black family spends a month in whiteface. The black family was a real family, but the white family was just some actors hired to put on blackface to prove racism exists
Without Prejudice? Five strangers decide which of five strangers gets a cash prize based off clips and their answers to political questions. Cancelled when one of the choosers openly said he'd eliminate all black contestants
Welcome to the Neighborhood. Three conservative white families in a Austin subdivision decide which diverse family gets to move in. Unaired due to being literal housing discrimination
Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay. Two straight men try to pass themselves off as gay and whoever seems more gay gets $50,000. Unaired due to. Due to. Due to
Playing It Straight. A woman tries to find love among fourteen men, half of whom are straight and half of whom are gay, and she must eliminate two men she believes are gay each week. If she ended up picking a straight man in the end, they'd split a million dollars; if she picked a gay man, he'd win a million dollars
Boy Meets Boy. This was Playing It Straight but starring a gay man and he had to eliminate straight people
Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire? He wasn't a multimillionaire. He didn't even have a million dollars in liquid assets. He had a battery conviction Fox claims they didn't see. Because it was the 2000s, somehow this ended up with the woman he won being widely vilified and turned into a national punchline. How dare she complain about a massive corporation tricking her into marrying a lying abuser, good thing Matt Lauer's there to take her down a peg
The Swan. A "ugly" woman is given plastic surgery and wins a prize if she's the hottest at the end of the season. If she's not hot enough by the show's standards she's eliminated and called ugly on national TV
The Biggest Loser. Overweight people engage in competitive crash weight loss that often led to awful health complications. Studies showed basically everyone on the show regained any weight they lost once it was over and they didn't have abusive trainers demanding they take huge health risks to win a competitive weight loss competition. Like the others, this one was cancel-oh, it was a massive hit that ran for 18 seasons? Yikes!
Wife Swap and Trading Spouses. These were the same show and had a wife from one family go to another family that was different politically, racially, culturally, religiously etc. Most famous for the God Warrior
At the time people focused on the likes of Fear Factor but looking back it's wild how many of the worst shows toyed with politics. So many of these shows have a premise that's like "what if we exposed these conservatives to these people they hate?" or hyping themselves up as Important Experiments. Then they'd freak out when they got the kind of viral bigoted freakout they were trying to construct the whole time.
There were also a bunch of horrible reality shows, thankfully this time mostly unpopular, in the 2010s that based themselves around economic themes as a response to the market crash, but that's a story for another time
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