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lag1995-fics · 4 years ago

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Hii. Can I request a fanfic for the song and Evan character thing? Could it be That's all by Genesis and Kai Anderson please?

I hope you like smut cause this one came out spicy 🌶. Apologies in advance I suck at writing Kai.

That’s All

Pairing:Kai x female reader

Warnings:Kai Anderson being Kai Anderson. Stalking, murder, derogatory language towards women, unhealthy relationship, language, smut

Words: 2190

Summary: Kai and reader share an unhealthy relationship but hey they love each other

Song Fic Masterlist

You were a self professed nasty woman, you had voted proudly for Hillary. She had clearly been the lesser of two evils. Plus it was about god damned time a woman broke that glass ceiling. You were pretty much everything Kai Anderson hated about women in general.

Kai should hate you, he should want to torment you but you intrigued him. It had started simply enough, hun being the entitled creep that he is had watched you do yoga in your backyard. You didn’t know of course, not then at least, that you had gained a stalker.

It hadn’t taken Kai long to realize that he wanted you to be his. He wanted to possess every part of you, he wanted you to be his and only his. He had a very unhealthy obsession with you.

That wasn’t all though he had also caught your eye. You had been out getting your mail one day dressed in nothing but a large t-shirt and shorts so short they couldn’t be seen beneath the hem of the shirt. You had seen him staring you down his blue hair thrown messily up into a bun on top of his head.

You were struck by his Beauty, he truly was a beautiful man. With brown eyes so dark they looked like two pieces of coal staring into your soul. You waved, flashing him a bright grin. He flashed you a grin of his own and as much as it made your panties dampen it also had an unhinged quality.

When you had got inside an uncharacteristically girlish giggle escaped your lips. Your roommate looked at you like you had grown three heads. You could feel your cheeks fill with fire. You were supposed to be a strong woman that didn’t need a man to complete her. Your neighbor was something else though.

“Who is this person giggling like a schoolgirl, that replaced my good friend y/n.” She cackled and you could feel the fire in your cheeks spread to your chest and ears.

“Our neighbor is kind of cute,” you replied waspishly.

“No really where is my roommate, the man hating feminist activist?” She joked.

“I don’t hate all men. I just think that men in general are problematic at best,” you defended huffily.

“He’s probably a raging trumpy,” she teased, lightheartedly.

“Oh is not he had long blue hair that was in a bun” you defended despite not knowing anything about this man. You didn’t know why you felt the need to defend him like you were.

“Oh you got it bad!” she collapsed into a fit of laughter when you threw a throw pillow at her.

***

It was another two weeks before you saw your mysterious neighbor again. He was talking to a shorter girl who was wearing a t-shirt that had “pussy power” emblazoned on her chest. This gave you the burst of confidence you needed as you strode over to them before you could talk yourself out of it.

“I love your shirt” you addressed the girl and she flashed you a grin.

“Thanks,” She replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. You could feel his eyes boring into the side of your head and flashed him a smile as well. You couldn’t help but admit to being a bit disappointed when he rolled his eyes.

“Ignore him. I’m Winter and this is my brother Kai” she introduced herself holding out a hand for you to shake which you did.

Kai the name rolled around in your head. You couldn’t help but entertain some mild fantasy of screaming out his name as he fucked you into a mattress. You shook the dirty fantasy from your mind.

“Nice to meet you I’m y/n,” you held out a hand to the blue haired man letting yourself take him in up close.

He had messy stubble along his chin and his blue hair hung around his face. His eyes were even more haunting up close and you felt like you could get lost in them. He took your hand wrapping his larger one around it, he had a firm grip. You couldn’t help but physically gulp from the skin to skin contact.

“We’ve met before, you live across the street. You like the power puff girls right?” He teased and you suddenly remembered what shirt you had been wearing.

“The power puff girls are fucking rad Kai” Winter defended and you smiled at her. Something in the way he looked at you made you want to submit to him. It was overwhelming to say the least.

“Whatever” he rolled his eyes again.

***

You and winter only grew closer and she quickly became part of your friend group. You tried to forget about Kai after finding out his political affiliations. He was everything you fought against. He was proud of being a chauvinistic pig.

You had decided to move on after a heated debate on men’s rights. You had tried to point out that all feminists wanted was equality. Men in this country as it stood right now had more rights than women did. It was a travesty.

He wouldn’t listen to you at all and went out of his way to call you a Misandrist. You had boiled over at that loudly proclaiming that you had really liked him up until the point he started spewing this nonsense. He was a pig and didn’t deserve the time of day you had already given him.

You would think that the polar opposite political opinions would cut the sexual tension like a hot king through butter; it didn’t though. If anything you were even more attracted to the man and Kai who normally had minimal patience for mouthy women was even more interested in making you his. He didn’t want to break you the fighting was too much fun but he definitely wanted to bend you to his will enough that you would never leave him.

You on the other hand had forced yourself to start dating other people. None of them compared to the man who fucked you everynight in your dreams. Kai Anderson was a force to be reckoned with.

***

Kai was sitting in the basement when Winter trudged down with her arms full of pizza. His eyes snapped to his sister and he couldn’t help but ask about y/n.

“Is y/n coming for dinner?” He asked, eyeing the pizza. Winter couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her brother who had developed an unhealthy obsession with her newest friend.

“No she’s got a date tonight some dude called Brad” Winter shrugged nonchalantly, knowing it would rile up her brother.

“What the fuck, she can’t go on a date with another dude” Kai spat possessively.

“Well tell her that because she definitely went on a date tonight” Winter laughed leaving her brother to stew in his resentment before he could snap at her.

“BULLSHIT!” He roared, flipping the coffee table in his anger.

He angrily grabbed his laptop logging into Facebook, whoever this Brad fucker was; was a deadman. He found your profile going to your profile ignoring the hideous cat eared beanie covering your beautiful hair in your profile picture. There were only three Brads on your friends list, one of them was well into his fifties and married, the other shared your last name and was probably a cousin. That left only one option, the man who appeared in the photo was everything Kai wasn’t. He was clean cut and wore a goofy ass bow tie.

He made a call ordering a hit on him but only if he was alone. He couldn’t risk you possibly getting hurt in the crossfire.

***

It was only two days after your disastrous tinder date that you found out Brad had been murdered. You were sad for his family. The date hadn’t been great but he had been nice in a dweeby, Silicon Valley sort of way. It seemed Kai had ruined you for all other men. You couldn’t help but compare them to him.

Winter had called you telling you how sorry she was. Winter was sorry she hadn’t thought Kai would murder someone just for dating you. She had only meant to piss him off; she didn’t want to be responsible for this man’s death.

***

You were at the Anderson’s again eating Chinese this time. It had almost become a every other day ritual. She would go hang out with Winter and argue with her brother.

“Women should be put back in their place,” he had started in before you cut him off glaring at him.

“Oh and what place would that be because I think it should be in a place of power. You know like the office of the presidency,” you snarled.

“Oh my god would you guys just fuck already and get it over with?” Winter who was fed up rolled her eyes walking up the stairs leaving you alone with Kai. Your eyes flashed to Kai’s and you could clearly read the hunger in them.

“She’s got a point,” he said lowly, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. You didn’t even realize you had unconsciously been walking toward him until you felt his strong arms wrap around your waist pulling you into him making you squeak.

“Fuck” you whispered looking into his eyes.

“A pretty girl like you should use such whorish language, I might have to wash that dirty slut mouth out with soap,” he groaned pushing his need against your pelvis.

“Oh god,” you whined grasping at his strong shoulders for stability.

“Say my name whore,” he snapped, his hand reaching under your comfortable sweat shirt and undoing your bra.

“Kai,” you breathed before pressing your lips into his own. He quickly took control of the kiss fighting your tongue and biting down sharply when he won.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this to you since you started teasing me with your slutty little yoga moves” he ground himself into you.

You couldn’t find the right words so you just moaned as he started stripping both of you of your clothes. When he slipped your yoga pants from you body and saw that you were wearing any underwear underneath he got a maniacal look in his eyes.

“Fuck you are a little whore,” he slipped his fingers into the folds of your sopping cunt.

“You like that slut?” He punctuated each word with the curl of his fingers against that sweet spot. When you didn’t answer he proceeded to add two more fingers and you could feel the burning stretch.

“I asked you a question,” he demanded fucking your pussy with his fingers and rubbing your clit with his thumb.

“I love it,” you managed to choke out, “please Kai I need you”

“Fuck,” he his pulling his finishers from you wet pussy lips and shoved them into your mouth to suck on them, slowly thrusting them into your pretty little mouth.

“That’s what a woman’s mouth should be used for, not mouthing off,” he chuckled darkly.

You gasped as you felt the blunt head of his cock against your pussy. Without warning he slammed into you to the hilt sending your already sensitive body off the edge and into a wave of pleasure.

“That’s right cum on my cock bitch,” he gasped as he pounded into you hard and fast. You could feel the build of another orgasm cresting. Your walls began to flutter around him causing him to lose some control as his thrusting became erratic. The two of you sailed off the precipice together.

With more care then you would have expected he pulled out of you kissing your forehead. He grabbed his soft t-shirt using it to wipe you as you lay cuddled to his chest. Your mind was whirling at the fact that you had just let Kai fucking Anderson fuck the shit out of you while he called you every name in the book. It would be easier to find someone that held the same viewpoints as you. They just never seemed to strike your heart strings the way Kai did. You could be wearing a white shirt and prove to him it was white and he would still say it was black. You were yin and yang, and you knew now you wouldn’t be able to leave.

“Y/n, I love you” he said and if you hadn’t been listening you wouldn’t have heard it. Your eyes widened, Kai didn’t love anyone, not even Winter. He also wasn’t a liar and if he said that he loved you , it was true no matter how unhealthy their relationship was.

“I love you too. It had slipped out before you could think about the consequences of this. What the two of you had was pure and primal.

“You do know that I will never stop arguing with you though?” You added. You still believed wholeheartedly that women deserved the same advantages as men.

“I’d be disappointed if you did” he confessed and you leaned up to kiss him melting once again into his touch.

——//////———-//////———

Send me a song and an Evan Peters Character and I’ll write you a fic.

#kai anderson x reader #kai anderson #kai is a jerk wad #kai x reade #kai x reader #kai #ahs cult #possibly triggering #evan peters #reader insert #ahs fanfiction #fanfiction

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bisluthq · 3 years ago

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hi nat! i know you don’t believe in kaylor anymore, but i wanted to send in my kaylor/joshlie theory, just as food for thought and fun speculation.

CW: ED

background:

back in 2017, i made a new friend. i quickly became kinda obsessed with her. i idolized how tall and skinny she was, her radiant sunshine-like presence, and the way she was so much cooler than me. something about her just drew me in like a magnet.

one day she told me that she was “bi-curious,” and i felt the unexplainable urge to tell her that i was queer too—so i did.

thus started our intense homoerotic friendship. we talked about everything, and she was rather touchy and flirty with me (we even hooked up a few times). but she was hung up on this dude who she’d been in a long-term off-and-on relationship with. looking back, i think she saw me as a willing participant in her experimentation phase—a source of casual fun while on a break from her ‘real’ relationship (plus, i came with the added bonus of helping her figure out her sexuality a bit).

meanwhile, i was serious about us because i was in love with her. as such, the relationship was obviously very unhealthy: neither of us had appropriate expectations of the other, and because of the imbalance in our level of commitment/love, she ended up inadvertently taking advantage of my friendship in ways that only increased my obsession with her. naturally, our friendship eventually imploded.

i think the kaylor story may look similar.

my theory on kaylor:

i think that kaylor had a very similar friendship as me and my friend. their connection obviously started out as pr, but they ended up getting along well and bonded. thus started their genuine friendship.

i think that their eating disorders were likely a strong source of bonding/connection for them, as this was the case for me and my friend as well. i wanted to emulate how skinny my friend was, just how i think taylor wanted to emulate how skinny karlie was. (remember the vogue best best friends video, in which taylor complemented karlie’s “shiny abs.”) this is obviously an unhealthy place to start a friendship: from day one, you are on uneven ground, where one person is essentially worshipping the other and seeing them as a god-like figure to emulate.

imagine that taylor in that sort of mindset with karlie. and on top of that, she’s attracted to karlie—obsessed with her skinny body, her sunshine-like personality, how sophisticated she is, how effortlessly successful she is, etc. she develops an infatuation with karlie. she wants to take karlie to big sur with her and play 1989 on the way, and she’s so obsessed with karlie that she wants to tell her the truth about the 1989 muse. (trust me, it’s feasible—i told my friend shit i’d never have even imagined confessing to another human, all because of how infatuated with her i was.) so taylor and karlie sit down, have an intensely emotional conversation about how taylor is bi, how the pressures of staying closeted gut her every day, how her relationship with the 1989 muse dianna was so full of strife due to closeting, etc. /// or maybe taylor feels that she must disclose her bisexuality to karlie before the big sur trip. she’s terrified that if she doesn’t tell karlie she’s bi, then karlie will somehow find out. and taylor’s afraid that then, karlie will be creeped out that a ~predatory lesbian~ invited her on a three-month sleepover, leading to the demise of their friendship. so taylor must avoid that outcome – so she must come out to karlie.

so, for either reason i described, taylor comes out to karlie. considering how scared taylor is to come out to karlie (since it might ruin their friendship, or karlie might maliciously out her to others now that she knows, etc.) and considering how generally poor taylor’s mental health was at the time, the coming out inevitably evolves into an intensely emotional conversation about taylor’s fears, insecurities, the pressures of being a closeted mega-celebrity, etc. perhaps karlie feels compelled to match the level of emotion and vulnerability, motivating her to tell taylor “i’m questioning if i might be a little bi too.” or perhaps taylor’s level of earnestness and rawness stirs up the illusion of intense emotions inside of karlie. so, karlie “comes out” to taylor – confessing that she’s questioning/bi-curious (for context, i think karlie is kinsey 1). /// (to show the validity of this possibility – this is how evangelical churches, such as the one shown in the 2006 documentary “jesus camp”, are able to convince children that they’re being overcome by the holy spirit, being prompted by god to break down in tears, etc. – psychologically speaking, when people are put into highly intense emotional situations, [such as taylor breaking down while coming out to karlie], their brains will feel inadvertent pressure to match the level of emotion. as such, their brains will either exacerbate existing relevant emotions, or create the illusion of relevant strong emotions. [this is probably especially true for karlie, since she is an empath and a people pleaser.]).

thus starts the “friends with occasional benefits” stage. karlie views the relationship as something casual, something that gal pals do sometimes, something fun to experiment with while she and josh are on a break, and maybe with the added bonus of helping her figure out if she’s actually a little bit queer.

but taylor falls hard. as i already said, i think taylor was infatuated with karlie’s personality, success, and skinniness. that’s why taylor is willing to engage in such an unhealthy and un-reciprocal relationship: she’s willing to tolerate josh’s presence, because her brain is so fixated on karlie that she’s willing to endure anything for her. taylor may even recognize that kaylor is doomed, but she’s so in love/obsessed that she can’t bring herself to care about anything other than the utter infatuation she feels in this present moment. (this was true of me and my friend – my friend would literally vent to me about her long-term on-again-off-again boyfriend, and i was willing to endure it because of how obsessed with her i was.) or maybe taylor’s somewhat in denial about josh. (this was also true of me and my friend – i had such a hard time conceptualizing that she had feelings for the man that my brain, to some extent, refused to fully grasp the reality of that.) or maybe taylor was even in denial about how intensely she loved karlie, convincing herself that she just really valued her platonic friendship (i also did this – it took me months to admit that i had a crush on my friend and admit that my level of obsession wasn’t normal gal pal behavior – even though i was already out to myself.) also keep in mind the eating disorder dynamic here – taylor looked to karlie as an idol regarding how to eat healthy, exercise, be skinny, and be successful. the mindset of people engaged in eating disorders tends to be obsessive and unhealthy to the extent of being willing to ignore reality / unknowingly refusing to accept reality, possibly including the reality of josh, if taylor feels like her skinniness is dependent on her connection with karlie.

so basically, karlie sees this as a gal pal fling, friends with the occasional casual benefit. taylor, conversely, is infatuated with karlie. one thing that really confirms this for me is kissgate. taylor was liking kaylor shipped tumblr posts shortly before kissgate – she obviously was feeling something for karlie that night. but karlie wasn’t committed to taylor to the same level – yes they (allegedly) made out, but karlie made out with josh immediately afterwards. /// to taylor, kaylor is a ship, an endgame. but to karlie, taylor is just a fun little pit stop, and she’s gonna go make out with her real boyfie immediately after.

eventually, the friendship inevitably implodes, leading to their breakup in 2016. some straw finally breaks the camel’s back on this relationship which was unhealthy and doomed from day 1.

now let’s look at lyrical evidence from repuation that supports my theory.

lyrical evidence from reputation:

ready for it

the bearding anthem. verses “he” are joe, as confirmed by the music video. chorus “you” is her fantasy idealized version of long-term kaylor.

there’s a reason that the “you” relationship (in the chorus) is happening IN HER DREAMS and not in real life – she pines for this committed and serious relationship with karlie, but that’s not reality.

but taylor has hope that it might happen – “i know i’m gonna be with you, so I TAKE MY TIME.” she imagines they’ll be friends-to-lovers, and she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage

this is a stretch, but “thief”/“robber” may refer to how she’s “stealing” karlie from josh lol. “touch me and you’ll never be alone” may also be a cheeky reference how taylor was like a temporary placeholder for josh – when karlie felt alone bc she and josh were on a break, taylor was like “touch me karlie, to keep you occupied while josh has left you alone. and oh yeah, if you end up in a relationship with me, then i promise that you’ll never be alone, bc i will commit to you, unlike that josh boy. i will be so much better than him, if you just let me.”

end game (but only the chorus/verse which taylor wrote)

“i WANNA be your endgame” – taylor is not in a committed relationship with karlie. as karlie sees it, they’re just fooling around. but taylor wants more than that: she wants to be karlie’s endgame.

“you and me would be a big conversation” bc they’re gay. (sorry joseph matthew alwyn, this line is not about you)

“i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” may be a reference to how karlie is gal pals with plenty of her female friends (example – her platonic yet very affectionate relationship with toni garrn). but taylor wants more than that – she wants their touches to be romantic rather than just platonic/occasionally casually sexual.

“i don’t wanna hurt you” – taylor fears that she’s bad news for karlie (a sentiment repeated in the first line of delicate, the bridge of i did something bad, etc.). this may be internalized homophobia – the predatory lesbian falls in love with her pure/innocent straight best friend and then corrupts her with homosexuality.

“but i ain’t tryna play” – taylor wants this relationship to be more than just the occasional fun/playful/casual hook up. she wants to be karlie’s end game.

“i hit you like ‘bang’, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn’t” may refer to the first time they hooked up. it was unexpected, just happened so suddenly (“like ‘bang’”). and they were just going to put it past them – sometimes friends hook up, it’s whatever. but taylor can’t move on from it.

“your body is gold” – self-explanatory. karlie is the gold rush girl, after all.

“you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks” reminds me of how i used to try to communicate my seriousness/love to my friend, but she’d laugh it off and assume i was joking. conversely, perhaps the “trick” is that taylor is pretending that she’s not super invested in karlie—maybe karlie is catching on to the fact that taylor is infatuated with her in a ~gay way~. taylor denies it, but karlie calls her bluff on that statement.

“here’s the truth from my red lips” – but in the music video, her lips aren’t red when she says this line. this may allude to all of the lying involved in her relationship with karlie (such as lying about just how in love with karlie she really was). or taylor may have her lips a different color because the truth has changed from the time she wrote this song to the time she’s filming the video – when she wrote this song, it was true that she wanted to be karlie’s endgame. but by the time rep era is here and they’re filming this video, the kaylor friendship is over, and it is no longer true that taylor wants to be karlie’s endgame.

i did something bad

just like in “ready for it”, i think the verses primarily refer to bearding (or maybe calvin/kimye, idk), but the chorus is about karlie.

“they say did something bad / then why’s it feel so good” – it is bad that she slept with karlie despite the fact that karlie is in a complicated long term relationship with josh. but the sex felt good ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

“and i’d do it over and over and over again / IF I COULD” – this implies that taylor only did ~the bad thing~ a few times, and she was unable to do it more times, even though she wanted to. this lines up with my theory that she and karlie hooked up a few times (casually in karlie’s eyes), but taylor wanted it to be more than just a few times (she wanted to be karlie’s endgame). but they couldn’t get to that committed place of routinely having sex bc karlie was still low key hung up on josh.

this is a very unlikely reach but – “he says ‘don’t throw away a good thing’” – “he” might be josh speaking to karlie about their relationship.

in the bridge, taylor says that she is a witch being unjustly burned. the witch is burned because she is being accused of the sin of dark magic – this parallels josh accusing taylor of being a witch who committed the sin of sleeping with his girlfriend, or maybe even the sin of “corrupting” the pure straight girl karlie. furthermore, the bridge invokes religious imagery of purgatory. and tbh, religious imagery is almost always gay xoxo.

don’t blame me

“don’t blame me, love made me crazy” again implies that taylor has committed a sort of ~crime~, such as the ~crimes~ i just mentioned regarding the don’t blame me bridge.

“my drug is my baby” – the drug reference makes me think of dependency. the obsession and infatuation i experienced with my friend (and that i suspect taylor experienced with karlie) is sort of like a drug dependency – and just like a drug dependency, the need for each other is not reciprocal (the drug does not need you back).

“shaking, pacing, i just need you” implies that taylor does not have “you”, which is consistent with my theory that she wanted kaylor to be endgame whereas karlie was only willing to doing occasional gal pal hook ups.

“for you, i would cross the line” / “they say she’s gone too far this time” – sleeping with josh kushner’s ~innocent straight~ girlfriend certainly crosses a line, lol.

“i would waste my time” – as i mentioned in my ready for it analysis, taylor hopes that kaylor be friends-to-lovers. she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage, even though she recognizes that the relationship is doomed and thus a waste of time.

“my name is whatever you decide” – we don’t have to “girlfriends.” we can just be “friends with benefits” or “gal pals” or whatever name you decide, because i am so desperate to have you at all that i will accept you in any form.

“i’m insane, but i’m your baby” – acknowledging that this unhealthy relationship/infatuation she has with karlie is “insane”

“halo hiding my OBSESSION” – “obsession” (!!!!) (that’s what i’ve been saying kaylor was!!!). also, “halo” is a religious metaphor, and religious metaphors are always gay xoxo. and this is a reach, but as a victoria’s secret angel, karlie wears a halo.

“i once was poison ivy, but now i’m your daisy” – i’m sorry, but i’ll never get over the fact that karlie tagged the daisy as taylor, and then taylor drew a picture of a daisy in an identical position above the word “daisy” in the handwritten lyrics.

“for you, i would fall from grace / just to touch your face” – religious metaphors are gay xoxo!

delicate – unsure if this song is about karlie (i think it’s more likely about lily or even joe), but if it is about karlie, it does align well with my kaylor theory.

“this ain’t for the best” – doomed relationship due to josh, corruption of straight girl, karlie won’t commit, etc.

“we can’t make / any promises” – karlie can’t commit to taylor like taylor wants/needs

“is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? cuz i know that it’s delicate” – is it cool that i have gay feelings for you, bestie, because i know we’re toeing a very delicate line between friends and lovers?

“third floor on the west side” – iirc, the master bedroom of karlie’s west side apartment was on the third floor

“do the girls back home touch you like i do?” – contrasting platonic girls’ touches to the type of touch taylor is giving her. (similar vibe to “i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” in end game)

“stay here, honey, I DON’T WANNA SHARE” – i don’t wanna share you with josh

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” – implies that karlie is not hers all the time (because she’s josh’s)

“i like you …… i want you” – taylor is Yearning™ for a deeper/more serious relationship with karlie

look what you made me do

i don’t think this song has much substance, but it may draw on themes/emotions from the kaylor friendship break up.

“i don’t like your games” – i don’t like how you led me on, making me feel like we could be forever when, in reality, you were never going to commit to me because you loved josh

“don’t like your tilted stage” – this reminds me of the power imbalance i mentioned earlier: taylor was obsessed with karlie and idolized her. karlie did not reciprocate this dedication and infatuation. because taylor’s love for karlie is so much more intense than karlie’s love for her, the metaphorical scale is imbalanced, making it tilt.

“the role you made me play, of the fool” – you made me out to be a fool, ready to confess my undying love even though you could never reciprocate. // furthermore, the “role” may refer to how they had to act like platonic girl squad besties as per their pr arrangement (reminds me of how karlie publicly said “taylor and i are still besties” after karlie’s name wasn’t on the junior jewels shirt in the lwymmd mv, how karlie promo-ed the “Me!” filter on Instagram, the song closure, etc.)

“your perfect crime” – the crime of sleeping with taylor despite being low key still with josh

“i got smarter” – i began to realize how unhealthy this warped and imbalanced friendship was

“you asked me for a place to sleep / locked me out and threw a feast” – this may refer to karlie had a ~designated bestie sleepover room~ in taylor’s house, and that enty blind about how karlie used taylor’s credit card and that caused a feud lol

i do not think that “so it goes” is about karlie – it’s too reciprocal. i don’t think gorgeous is about karlie specifically – maybe lily or just women in general. and i agree with andy’s theory that getaway car is more so an exercise in storytelling than a song that contains substantive clues about her relationships.

king of my heart

we have the photos showing that taylor wrote/recorded this after facetiming with karlie to watch the sunset together. taylor wrote this right after that romantic coded date, presumably during a high point of their friendship/relationship – as such, this song is more idealistic than most other kaylor songs. taylor is hopeful about the future of a committed endgame kaylor. (but, we’ll also see that taylor does still have some insecurities about kaylor.)

“now you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes” – karlie is just “trying on” calling her baby. karlie is new to this whole wlw thing, and she won’t be wearing these metaphorical clothes (a wlw relationship) for long – she’s just trying them on. furthermore, “trying on clothes” may reference how karlie is a model.

“salute to me, i’m your american queen” – i think i remember from my ttb days (derogatory) that there’s a video clip of karlie calling taylor “the perfect all-american girl” whilst doing a salute.

“you move to me like a motown beat” may reference the “motown beats” instagram post where kaylor are putting on lipstick together

the fact that taylor includes the line “all the boys and their expensive cars … never took me quite where you do” may be a sign of taylor’s insecurity. i think this may be a message to karlie – ‘yes, josh is a rich boy with expensive cars, but look, we are so much better than joshlie is.’ calling josh a mere “boy” is also a funny little insult – he’s not a man, he’s just some silly little boy who can’t satisfy you like i can.

“body and soul” – i think it might be significant that taylor specifies body AND soul. they’re already connected by the soul through their close friendship – but now they’re connecting sexually with their bodies as well. conversely, this could reference how they’ve already connected bodily through casual gal pal hook ups, but now taylor believes that they’re starting to connect on that romantic soul level as well.

“school girl crush” gives me such unreciprocated crush vibes. maybe taylor’s crush was unreciprocated for a while, but she has reason to believe that their relationship is growing into ~more than just friends~, as she’s desired

“drinking beer out of plastic cups” – knicks game

“say you fancy me, not fancy stuff” – “fancy” could just be straight-bait to make swiftwyn beards look more convincing, or it could be a re-dedication of the song to joe (just how the bridge of dress re-dedicated that song to joe). (for context, i believe in swiftwyn beards-to-lovers.) but what’s important here is that “fancying stuff” made me think of how, as a model, karlie is like madona’s Material Girl. rich boy josh with his fancy cars can give karlie more “stuff” to satisfy her inner material girl, but taylor wants to show karlie that she can give her deeper fulfillment than that.

“this is enough” – this might be taylor reassuring herself that their relationship, despite being in a weird ~gal pals who hook up occassionally~ is enough. even though they’re not ~girlfriends~, the relationship is enough, because taylor believes that they’re working their way towards that ~body and soul endgame wives~ type of relationship.

“all at once” may refer to a seemingly sudden shift in the nature of their relationship – one day, they’re (infuriatingly) just gal pals who hook up, but all of a sudden, taylor has reason to believe/hope that maybe they’re starting to be more than that, maybe inching their way towards endgame territory.

i do not think that dancing with our hands tied is necessarily about karlie. it seems too reciprocal to be just about her; it might be an amalgamation of many relationships and how she frequently fears being outed.

dress

“a golden tattoo” – drake’s party. also, karlie is gold rush girl

“all of this silence, pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you / all of this silence, pining and desperately waiting” – once again implies that taylor does not have karlie the way she wants her. there’s “pining” because she wants more than karlie can give. and taylor is “desperately waiting” in hopes that maybe one day karlie will reciprocate her love to the full extent that she desires

“i don’t want you like a best friend” – self-explanatory

“carve your name into my bedpost” – taylor is making a request – ‘please commit, please leave a sign that you are committed to me forever, please be my endgame.’ note the dichotomy between this plea for karlie to take the initiative to make the carving, versus the statement in the first verse of how karlie inadvertently left “an indentation in the shape of” her. the indentation was not an act of karlie’s chosen will – taylor just so happened to fall in love with her, and now she’s asking karlie to reciprocate by making that carving.

“inescapable, i’m not even gonna try” – taylor is resigned to the fact that she’s fallen for karlie, even though the relationship might be doomed (as the next line demonstrates)

“if I get burned, at least we were electrified” – taylor is acknowledging that this relationship is low key doomed, and if anyone is going to get hurt, it’ll be taylor. taylor will be the one getting “burned” by the intensity of her infatuation, whereas karlie won’t be burned because she never reciprocated that intense love. /// going back to my commentary on “carve your name into my bedpost” – note how taylor frequently references karlie “claiming” her (with “marks”, “indentations”, “carvings”, and now “burns”), whereas taylor never states that she’s claimed karlie in any way. i think this may reflect taylor’s recognition that she has fallen much harder for karlie than karlie has for her. karlie does not bear marks, indentations, carvings, or burns from their relationship, because she was never as committed as taylor was. but taylor bears all those things because it is she who fell so hard for karlie.

“you kiss my face and we’re both drunk” reminds me of that trope where the gal pals only make out when they’re drunk because they’re convinced they’re actually straight. maybe karlie is one of those straight girls who only has so much capacity for wlw sex, meaning that it happens more often when she’s drunk than when sober.

i do not think that “this is why we can’t have nice things” is a direct karlie song. it may indirectly reference how karlie “broke” the “nice thing” that was their relationship by refusing to commit, but i don’t think that the song has anything substantive to show us about kaylor.

i’m not sure if i think “call it what you want” is a kaylor song. on some level, “fit like a daydream” does sound like eating disorder taylor idolizing karlie’s body, and it’s interesting to me how the subject of the song expresses virtually no devotion to taylor, whereas taylor spends the whole song telling the subject “call it what you want – call us girlfriends, gal pals, whatever you want as long as i can keep you.” this reminds me a bit of kaylor.

new year’s day

“don’t read the last page” because i know that this book has a sad ending. this relationship is doomed, and it’s going to end poorly. but let’s put that out of our minds – i’m to infatuated with you in this moment to think about how this will inevitably end.

“i stay when you’re lost and i’m scared and you’re turning away” – when karlie is “lost” (leaving taylor to go back to josh) or “turning away” from taylor to go back to josh, taylor stays. she’s scared that she’s going to lose karlie, but she’s still going to stay, because she’s willing to “waste her time” (don’t blame me) waiting for karlie to choose her.

“i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes” – taylor is willing to stay through the mess of their imbalanced and un-reciprocal relationship even when that inevitably gets hard. their relationship is “wrong” because karlie is josh’s, and maybe kaylor was a mistake because of joshlie, but taylor doesn’t care – she loves karlie too much, so she’s going to stay and wait for karlie to choose her.

“i WANT your midnights” – implying that taylor does not currently have them, because karlie is not reciprocating the level of love taylor is giving and wants in return.

“hold on to the memories” implies that this relationship will be ending soon (because it is doomed), leaving karlie only memories to hold onto.

“i will hold onto you” – this goes back to the theme of taylor’s obsession. karlie is her drug – she’s addicted to her, and she will “waste her time” eternally waiting for karlie to choose her because she’s that obsessed with her.

“please don’t ever become a stranger” – why is taylor worrying about this? because the relationship is doomed, and becoming strangers feels like this horrible yet inevitable ending that will be a part of “the last page”

thanks for reading, and sorry about any typos!

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

SUBMISSION

I found this as part of my Insta ask era but let’s look over this for thoughts. Haven’t read it yet but I know anon was stressed it got lost (it did because y’all talk too much but also don’t stop I love it).

#nat talks kaylor #submission

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giorno-plays-piano · 4 years ago

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Sleep tight

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, home invasion, non-consensual drug use, allusion to kidnapping.

Words: 4163.

Summary: You know someone tried to break into your apartment, but no one believes you since you live in the very same building as famous Captain America. Who is willing to risk it?

P.S. Inspired by the Door Lock.

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You were coming back from work late again, carrying a paper bag with fresh chicken nuggets, French fries and two butter croissants you intended to leave for the morning. It was your little ritual - every time you worked long hours you went to buy some fast food afterwards instead of cooking youself a dinner. You had neither strength nor desire to spend your evening in the kitchen.

Funny, you thought, how many people were walking the same street as you, and you felt like you were alone in the whole world, nonetheless. Every day was exactly the same: you were waking up feeling groggy and exhausted, making youself coffee and leaving for work where you spent most of your time; you looked for excuses to stay late just because you didn't want to come back to your empty apartment where it was always eerie silent. Then you read some book you ordered from Amazon or Indigo, had a glass of water and went to sleep. Your life was like an endless limbo or a time loop.

Watching a few school girls giggling and taking out there cellphones and cameras, you sighed. That poor Steve Rogers living the same building as you had it much, much worse. At least you didn't have any crazy fans following you and making photos of your windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.

"Hey you there! What are you doing?" Someone's grumpy voice cut through the silence, and all those girls suddenly ran, laughing nervously and clenching their cameras.

It was one of your neighbors, a man in his 60s who was living two floors beneath yours, who walked to the building with a grocery bag in his hand.

"I swear to God next time I'm gonna take their phones and call their parents right away!" He grunted, shaking his bold head.

"I'll be there to give you a hand, Mr. Jones." You smiled at him, and he let out a chuckle, opening the door for you. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear."

Well, today wasn't that bad. Those girls couldn't do much harm. You remembered the day when you saw huge scary men dressed in black walking the corridor to Captain's apartment - it was way more frightening than a couple of silly students making photos of his balkony. But, regardless of how dangerous it could be to live so close to probably America's most famous superhero, the rent was doubled in a week and became three times higher in two months. You were lucky your landlady was a very compassionate woman who didn't raise the price immediately after he moved in this building.

Opening the door to your apartment with a key, you took off your shoes and put the bag on a little side table. God, you wanted to sleep so bad.

Barely eating a few nuggets you went to bed without opening the new book you bought.

The next morning you didn't feel much better, though. It was like you went to bed at 5 am instead of retiring early. Your mind was hazy. You were almost squiffy though you hadn't been drinking alcohol for a month or so.

Damn, you needed to do something about that lifestyle of yours. It was obviously unhealthy.

You spent one more day in the office doing useless work no one cared about. Coming back home felt as lonely as never before, and you almost cried in the dark before taking a hold of yourself and entering the building. There were no girls with the cameras today.

Laying on your bed, you stared at the glass of water on your nightstand. You didn't even remember refilling it in the morning. How much did you remember at all before arriving at work?

Oh no, you weren't going to live like that anymore. No more working overtime. No more fast food. No more weeping in your room with the lights off. You were a decent human being who didn't deserve to live like a recluse. Tomorrow evening you were going to dress up and go for a glass of wine in that little restaurant you were passing by every day. And in the weekend it would be good to give a call to your cousin and ask for a visit.

You hummed, looking at the clock glimming in the darkness of the room. It was already midnight, but you didn't feel even a bit sleepy. It was odd. Staring at the ceiling, you tried counting sheep but failed miserably after two hundreds. It was then when you heard someone's footsteps behind your door and chewed your lips. Was it Mrs. Abebe who lived next to you? She was never coming that late. Not that you remembered.

You were probably imagining things since the sound of footsteps died, but you didn't hear anyone opening the door or, in fact, moving at all. You were simply tired from all that stress.

That was what you were thinking when you heard someone inserting the key into your lock. You stilled, your eyes almost popping out of the sockets. What was happening? What was that?

Then the sound of the lock opening made you jump.

"Who is that?!" You screamed at the top of your voice and grabbed the lamp from your nightstand. "Who's there?!"

Then everything went silent once again, the door still closed in front of you. You couldn't hear any footsteps, couldn't feel anyone's presence just behind the door as if no one tried to force it open just a few seconds ago. You didn't know how much time you spent standing there, a heavy lamp in your hands to strike down the intruder, but no one had opened the door.

In the end, you clenched your teeth and slowly moved forward, pressing your ear to the cold metal - there were no sounds coming behind it whatsoever. Then you glanced through the peephole and saw only a row of doors just like yours. The stranger was gone.

You couldn't sleep after that, of course. You locked the door again, moved your heavy drawer to block it, and started calling the cops. Whoever was it, a thief or some creep, you didn't want to sit there and wait when someone gonna break into your apartment.

Police did nothing, of course. There were no cameras in the corridor to check whether someone was truly walking there, and, except that, they could help little with your situation. The camera outside showed no one entering the building, too.

In fact, they were so skeptical after hearing your story they almost made you cry. Why would anyone want to break in? You had pretty much nothing valuable except for a few gadgets and a little bit of money.

"No one would risk coming close to the place where Steve Rogers lives, ma'am," one of the cops informed you, irritated at your persistence. "You probably imagined it in your sleep."

No, you didn't. You heard it with your own ears, and no policeman could make you doubt that. You didn't care whether that freak was afraid of Steve Rogers, you just needed to be safe.

Next morning you didn't go to work. Instead you called a locksmith company and looked through all those smart lock that cost a fortune, but they were so much better than the pathetic one you had. The guy you were speaking to informed you that, actually, you story wasn't uncommon - New York was full of burglars. He calmed you down a bit by saying that it was probably some rookie who didn't ever hear about Captain America living in the same building.

The smart keyless lock you got installed was pricey but offered a great protection, the guy claimed. As you still shook from what happened earlier, you called your cousin, nevertheless, and went to live in her place for the whole week. Just thinking of what could happen to you that night brought you nightmares.

Who was that? What did that person need from you? Was he really hoping to get anything valuable without even knowing who lived there? Why did they come at night and not during the day when you were at work? God, you were scared to learn the answers.

You were no longer walking the streets alone as your kind cousin brought you to and off work, watching that no one was following you. It was a great relief to know there were no scary dudes around, but you couldn't be calm still. You barely slept at night.

Your cousin was too worried to let you go and live by yourself again even with the new lock installed, so you decided to stay with her for one more week. You just needed to get a few more things from your apartment since last time you left in haste. Of course, you didn't go there alone, your cousin and two of her male friends coming with you just in case something was to happen.

You screamed when you saw your new lock smashed to pieces, its black plastic parts laying on the floor right in front of your door.

This time police couldn't say anything about you imagining things, and the investigation had finally started. What scared you even more was that Mrs. Abebe had sweared the lock was in perfect condition when she returned home yesterday, and she didn't hear anything at all last night, a few other neighbors saying the same. No one knew how it happened and who could it be.

"But I just don't understand how could someone try this right under Captain's nose." One of the policemen huffed and puffed.

"Steven Rogers has been on a mission since last week." A woman said angrily, watching the guy with disgust. You vaguely remembered her name was Kate and she lived on the same floor as Steve. "Please don't tell me you need Captain America just to make you do your job."

With so many people expecting someone to break into their homes and fearing for their lives, it was easier to demand installing cameras in the corridors everywhere in the building. More than that, a few cameras were installed in your apartment too. A new biometric lock was now attached to your door, but you weren't sure it could keep you safe. It all felt unreal.

Of course, you were living with your cousin. She not only didn't protest against it, but refused to let you go anywhere at all. The only place you were still coming to was the office your worked in, and she was bringing you there and driving you home all the time.

The police said that the criminal didn't leave any fingerprints anywhere, and, most importantly, they didn't see any stranger entering the house the day your lock was smashed. It probably meant it was someone who stayed in the building. When they said that, Mrs. Abebe moved out the apartment the very same day and came to live with her son. You felt both pity and guilt. If you weren't there, she could live in that place peacefully like before.

Although the stranger didn't show up, the old policeman handling your case said something was very wrong there, he could feel it in his bones. This person wasn't a simple burglar, for sure. Although the policeman asked you to come back to your apartment - of course, under the watchful eyes of his team ready to defend you - to somehow provoke the criminal, you didn't agree. You valued your life too much to become a bait.

You just wanted to keep living with your cousin, especially when you were finally able to sleep again. You still felt groggy after, but you didn't consider it too important after all that happened to you.

However, you had to change your mind when one day you woke up and saw the toilet seat up. There was no man living at your cousin's place, and she didn't let anyone come over for a week at least.

The stranger had found you. He sneaked into the house all the same like before, but now it was also your cousin's life at stake, not just yours.

You cried and wept and prayed until you were a complete mess, your head heavy from the shouting. It wasn't a burglar who followed you - it was a stalker. The policemen were deeply concerned with the truth, but they gave you hope - stalkers rarely left their victim under such circumstances, and they were most certain they would capture the intruder the next time this psycho showed up.

You agreed to return to your old apartment. What else was there to do to keep your dear cousin safe?

It was as empty and silent as before, but now the atmosphere turned sinister. You were afraid to touch your own things, thinking of the sick bastard who touched them - the one who touched you in your sleep. No one had told you about it, but you were certain this person had been there with you many times before you caught him. Your routine had been very much the same during the whole year, and they knew it and used it to their advantage. Your stalker had seen you, touched you, done something to you. He was there all the time, and you didn't know. The cameras police installed showed everything that was happening in the apartment except for bathroom, so you tried to avoid going there as much as you could. Yes, you were on display all the time, but you weren't ashamed. You were ecstatic that cops were watching you every goddamn second.

When it was time to get to bed, you were too nervous. The police expected your stalker to show up, and although you had acquired the gun, you didn't feel safe even the slightest bit. Holding the heavy piece of metal in your shaking hand, you gulped down water from the glass and layed on the bed, watching the door. No one would hurt you. You had a gun, a group of cops waiting right next door, and your cousin who rented a room in a hotel next to your building. You were safe. You just had to stay awake before this sick motherfucker showed up.

But when he did, you slept very soundly with your head on the pullow, your gun on the bed sheets close to you.

When you woke up, that morning became your worst nightmare. Your gun was gone. The toilet seat was up again.

How outrageous you had been when you found out all your supposed guards had fallen asleep last night, drugged by something they didn't even know. Of course, there was nothing on the cameras. In fact, there were no cameras left in your apartment and the corridor whatsoever because your stalker had them all removed without even showing himself. How did they do it? What superhuman being did they had to be to twist both the police and you around their finger?

Well, maybe it was exactly the case. This intruder was too extraordinary. What if it wasn't you they were after? What if they were really trying to challenge Captain's America authority? And you were just unlucky enough to become a victim. You were picked most likely because you had a routine you had been following for a long time, and it made you an easy target. In the end, this intruder didn't rape you. He didn't hurt you. He didn't steal from you. He was coming to, what, lay close to you on the bed? Put up a toilet seat? No, it wasn't your attention he was after. He wanted to be acknowledged by the hero everyone was crazy about. Maybe he was like those girls who kept making the photos of Steve's balkony.

Once the realization hit you, everything became so much better. If he wanted the attention of Captain America, he would get it, Kate had assured you. How did she discover what was happening and how she could make him aware of your situation you didn't know, but soon those scary men dressed in black were walking the corridors of the building instead of policemen. Cameras were set up again while you were guarded at all times. Captain was returning tomorrow, you were told.

They wanted you to stay in the apartment, still. Actually, they clearly implied that you'd be put there regardless of your own wish because it was for the best. They were not some incompetent policemen, they said. You'd be protected regardless of what was going to happen to your stalker. This time you were ready to believe them - these guys looked like they could crack man's skull with just one hand - but your cousin insisted you had to do something, too. Funny enough, she gave you a teddy bear and told there's camera inside it. You could see everything it recorded with your phone.

Well, it couldn't hurt, could it? You placed the bear on one of the shelves just to make her feel better.

But nothing happened during the night. For some reason, you slept like a rock again, but there was no indication the intruder had been in your apartment. You called your new guards, and they confirmed everything was clear. They were confused with your sleeping habits, though. It was odd you could sleep so soundly during such moments.

Well, maybe that was it. Captain America was coming today, and now the intruder knew they were going to have his full attention. Maybe it was enough for them, and you would be set free after all those weeks of torture.

"I still can't believe he didn't show up last night." You said nervously and wiped your forehead with the back of your hand. "I know it's stupid, but I feel like someone's going to jump at me when I'll be leaving the building."

"It's not stupid." Your cousin sounded concerned. "You're the bravest person I've ever met. I'd ask all those guys to go fuck themselves if they wanted me to spend one more minute in that place."

"I know, I know." You forced a smile as if she could see you. "But nothing happened, you see? I really think that... person wanted Captain, not me."

"You can't know it for sure, honey. You have to be careful before they catch that motherfucker, ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I promise."

"Good. I'm going to buy some food, so I'll give you a call in half an hour."

"Sure! Please take care too."

"Of course!"

She hung up, and you were left alone with your thoughts again. You stared down your phone, thinking about all the things that happened to you. You wanted to know who was doing it to you more than anything else. Who was that person? The police said it was most likely to be a man in his thirties. What was his name? How did he look? What made him do all these things to you? Did he mock you for your stupidity when you didn't even realize he was always so close to you all that time?

Rubbing your eyes, you thought of the cameras and that teddy bear sitting on a shelf. Suddenly, you got curious how you looked in your sleep, what that intruder saw when he entered your apartment late at night. You opened the app on your phone without a second thought and pressed your finger to the screen to see the recording.

It was peaceful. You didn't snore and didn't move on the bed, laying there as if you were dead. Your drool wasn't running onto the pillow, and you were oddly glad you almost looked like a sleeping beauty. Well, at least at night your face didn't look so tired.

Then you saw the door on your screen moving. You chocked on air, staring at the tall muscular man entering your apartment so carelessly like he lived here too. What was this? How could it happen? They said no one entered your apartment last night. They said no one was even close to your door!

The man was wearing a cap that didn't allow you to look at his face, a dark blue bomber and jeans flattering his muscular figure. He was even bigger than those men guarding you, and you gasped when he stared directly into the camera as if he knew there was one in the teddy bear your cousin brought. But nothing shocked you as much as the face of the stalker.

It was Steve Rogers, the very same Captain America everyone loved and respected. He took of his shoes quietly and then left his bomber on the rack. When he turned his face to the camera, he was smiling and walking closer to it slowly like a predator knowing its prey couldn't escape.

He took the stuffed animal in his hands and brought it closer.

"I'm so glad you're watching, honey."

You whimpered, a tear running down your face. No, it couldn't be true. It just couldn't. He was supposed to be the hero, not some deranged stalker ruining your life.

"Sorry for being later than usual, but you've made it a bit harder for me, you know that?" His smile was so sweet it could make you think he's talking to his fiancee, not some girl he was stalking for god knew how many months. "But don't worry, I'm not blaming you. I know it's been tough for you too, honey."

He glanced back at you sleeping on your bed and came closer to you. You held your breath and clamped a hand over your mouth in horror.

"It's actually my fault because I shouldn't be doing this before marrying you... but I just couldn't help myself. You're not mad at me, are you?" You realized he was laying down the bed with a teddy bear in his hand, and then you saw him kissing your forehead. "I know you're not. Thank you, sweetheart."

Looking at your phone with terrified and tearful eyes, you felt like you couldn't take it anymore, but something inside you forced you to keep watching when Steve had gently lowered the straps of your top and planted an open-mouthed kiss on your neck, massaging your breast. You wanted to drop the phone to the floor, to throw it out the window, to break it against the wall, yet all you did was gawking at the recording with watery eyes and sobbing. He was insane. You saw it in his eyes - he wasn't going to question his own actions. Steve Rogers was sure he did the right thing when he broke into your apartment.

"You probably gonna have some questions when you'll see the recording." He continued as he put the toy on the bed to make you see better all the things he was doing to you. "You have never woken up at night because I've been giving you some medicine, but don't worry, it's perfectly organic and doesn't do any harm to your body." You felt your stomach twisting. "Sometimes if you forgot to drink water from the glass I had to press a cloth dampened in chloroform to your face. I don't like doing it, so please remember to stay hydrated before going to bed, honey."

You wailed like a child, rubbing your eyes with one hand and having a phone in the other. Why was it happening to you? What had you done? You had never met Steve Rogers in the first place. How did he know about your mere existence?

"But I won't need to keep doing it since our honeymoon is so close. Once we get married, we won't have to do anything like that anymore. I know you're tired of waiting, and I'm sorry I couldn't make it earlier." He kissed the top of your head and inhaled the scent of your hair. "We'll be leaving tomorrow. As for tonight, you'd have to sleep alone, but I'll be right here with you, so please don't worry."

Confused, you saw him moving with the teddy bear in his hand - the man left your bed and put the straps of your top back on your shoulders, covering your body with a blanket. He kissed your cheek one last time before returning the stuffed animal to its place and putting his bomber and shoes back on, but then...

Then he layed down on the floor and got under your bed. Though you kept watching the recording, you saw nothing else before the sun rose and you started waking up finally. You played the video further on, but nothing was happening still except you walking out to meet those men who were supposed to keep you safe. When you came back, you ate your breakfast and called your cousin.

You dropped your phone on the bed and stared at your legs, shaking so much your knees were knocking together.

He was still waiting for you under your bed.

Part 2

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @void-hoechlin @abyssaint @lovelydarkdaydream

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#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #dark steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #captain america #yandere

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years ago

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another unsolicited relationship advice post:

okay. i know that there’s probably thousands of relationship advice posts on here. but anyway. to my younger followers, if i have any:

if anyone that you’ve just met declares that you’re “girlfriend material” or “boyfriend material” and that you must simply meet their parents NOW! or some other ridiculously short interval (like a week say), instead of, idek, like a month or two into your relationship, know that that is a possible red flag for trying to push the relationship too fast.

i say this as again, bc on some buzzfeed fb post about supposed “nice guys” i commented about my high school stalker/creeper from 2012/2013. who, when i first met him in 2012 at public school, he insisted that after two days of knowing him that i simply “have to meet my (his) mum and my sisters right now! bc you’re girlfriend material and i LOVE you!”

like woah! dude! i’ve known you for a grand total of two fucking days! i absolutely don’t have to meet your family RIGHT NOW (although if i’d ever been stupid enough to actually date my stalker back then, i would’ve had to meet his mum or one of his 4 sisters/all of them at once; at some point anyway…. bc they would’ve had to drive us to dates etc bc neither of us had our Ps (provisional drivers licence here in aus) yet at the time)). because i’m pretty sure the normal window is about 1-2 months? maybe 3-4 months? why the fuck are you so obsessed with the term “girlfriend material”??? what the actual FUCK does that EVEN mean?? get away from me. bc this isn’t love. it’s something else, that i can’t put my finger on.

compare this to clear braces boy from catholic school, who literally took almost 3 years to ask me out; and to even ask for my number. when he’d finally asked for my number right before one set of the winter holidays at the end of term 2/before the start of term 3 in 2010, i was so oblivious as to why he wanted my number…. when he’d never wanted it/asked for it before.

so when he called me, while i was still on the bus home from school, i was panicking like “OH FUCK THATS WHY HE WANTED MY NUMBER!!! HE WANTS TO ASK ME OUT!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK AM I SO SLOW AND FUCKING DUMB???!!!” he never pressured me to meet his parents (although at 14/15 it was very obvious that that was a standard practice since we couldn’t drive ourselves anywhere lmao). we were basically on equal footing, except for my slowness with cottoning onto him asking me out and why he asked for my number lol.

CBB had never pressured and harassed me about my virginity. he had NEVER harassed me with porn, most especially while at school, unlike mr creeper who LOVED pulling out his porn filled phone and school laptop to show me his overly violent, degrading and aggressive porn. CBB’s flirting method was showing me norwegian black metal bands (or normal metal bands like parkway drive) and making me watch repeats of family guy on his ipod at lunch bc he loved family guy. he never brought up the term “girlfriend material” ever. he treated me like an actual person. and not his own personal fuck doll, that had holes that were conveniently for sticking his useless and clueless ass teenage dick in, again unlike creeper who was hellbent on wanting to act out his favourite violent etc porn on me to let him “take your virginity in a wonderful weekend of sex down the coast and you have to do all things that I LIKE BC THAT’S THAT AND I SAID SO!!!” 🤮🤮. although if i had progressed further than those few weeks with cbb, and my constant *karen from mean girls voice* *fake cough, fake cough* i’m sick *regina george voice* boo, you whore!” act every time i didn’t turn up on date that he’d asked me on…. maybe he could’ve treated me like that. but i’ll never know lol.

so cbb was unlike mr stalker; who was obsessed with my supposed “girlfriend material” status. mr stalker was obsessed with the fact that i had the ability and audacity to basically tell him “no”, by coyly letting him down with “my dad says i can’t date bc it distracts me from school and getting good marks 🙄😑” (which probably wasn’t true, looking back lmao)….. where he then whined PUBLICLY on facebook about it, with a status like “today sucks”… and then naming and shaming me in the comments when someone asked in the post comments what was wrong like: “*insert my name here* said no! she’s being a bitch!”. that at the time, made me roll my eyes and still does today when i think about it. because bro. i had literally only known you for two fucking days at that point. of course i’m going to say no. what the hell??? two days is nowhere near enough time to know a person well enough (although the conversation we had together on misguided trip to his house one day while we were wagging (skipping class/playing hooky for americans) aboriginal studies told me MORE THAN ENOUGH about his piece of shitness tbh) to “date” them imo.

because to me, the title “girlfriend material” doesn’t mean any fucking thing. but when it comes from a creep like mr stalker; it means “you’ll be my girlfriend forever and have my kids bc you’re such a nice girl and you’ll fix me bc that’s what nice girls like you do; bc you’re SO LOYAL AND NICE!” which i also saw as a MASSIVE RED FLAG back then, because we were literally 16yo kids (he literally told me this when we were on his bed in his bedroom in the aforementioned misguided trip to his house). and i also saw it as a red flag bc…. just because i’m “loyal” and “nice” doesn’t mean that i’ll spend LITERAL Y E A R S trying to “fix you” while you fuck around and never bother to change your behaviour all bc you think it’s “girly” to do just that. it definitely DOES NOT MEAN that i’ll have KIDS with you, what the actual fuck. like i’m a hopeless romantic, to an extent, mr creeper. but not to the extent where i’ll give myself up to someone like you, all because i’m “nice and caring” and it’s apparently what “nice girls do!!!” or whatever else fucked up guilt trip views you’ve got on why girls/women supposedly have to waste their time with and on you.

and also, on another front. CBB never FOLLOWED me home (considering he lived in a suburb 20mins away from mine lmao and we both lived at least 15mins away from the catholic school we attended) despite me telling him REPEATEDLY to “fuck off and walk home your way”….. whereas unfortunately, mr creeper lived just over the other side of my suburb.

so one day mr creeper decided to stalk me home (despite me saying the above “fuck off and walk home your way” comment constantly to him in the 10min walk home). and then when we got to my street and in front of my house he decided to joke that “oh now i know where your house and bedroom are, i’ll come to hide under your bed naked one day!!!! and when you get home (bc i’ll obvs do it when you’re out doing something), you’ll just have to FUCK ME because you’ll be so surprised that im there and ready to fuck you!” as if i’d be so overcome with supposed lust & love for him, after knowing that he’d broken into my room against my will and messed with my shit….. all for some cutesy love prank…. like in, idk, love actually (???) or himym (specifically the “naked man!” episode from season 4) or some other shitty romcom. bc no. you’re overstepping SO MANY fucking boundaries that i’d literally call the police on your stupid fucking stalker ass. what the actual fuck.

finally, cbb never forced me to try to kiss him, unlike mr stalker…. who whenever he got the chance, he’d grab my head and force me to kiss him…. and then gave me back the utterly disgusting & controlling GALL to tell me that i was “kissing wrong” and whinge/bitch that i “wasn’t into it”. and then he’d force me to kiss him again with a “im so sorry does this fix it 🥰🥺???” like NO???!!! forcefully kissing me DOES NOT FUCKING FIX ANYTHING YOU STUPID CUNT! please just get the FUCK away from me. like if you force me into anything, of course i’m not going to enthusiastically enjoy it??? and moreover, don’t you think it’s YOU who is “kissing wrong” (whatever the FUCK that bullshit actually means) and not me???? why do you think GRABBING MY HEAD and FORCING me to kiss you is appropriate in ANY of these situations????

just. to end this. to anyone and everyone, regardless of their gender/sexuality/age etc. NEVER trust anyone who uses the term “girlfriend material”/“boyfriend material”, to describe you, most especially when you’ve JUST MET them.

they’re using it as a means to control you and possibly trap you into an unhealthy (or potentially abusive) relationship like i would’ve had with my stalker/creeper. but most especially, this goes out to my younger followers, if i have any. be aware of this. watch out for the small red flags and run at the earliest time.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #relationships i guess #i’ve probably said this before lol #i can’t remember though

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kitsbookshelf · 4 years ago

Text

The Twilight Saga: a detailed review of why I can’t stand them and love them in (almost) equal measure

Before I start this borderline scathing review, I just want to let you know that it's full of spoilers, so if you haven't read the books, look away now. This is your only warning.

Now that that's out of the way... I can't stand the Twilight saga. Twelve-year-old me is cringing at my hatred for it, and Twilight fans are waiting to set me on fire, but it's true. I think they're poorly written, and there are soooo many parts of every book that just...missed the mark, at least for me. Let's start at the beginning, with the first book: Twilight.

Bella, our darling main character, moves in with her dad, Charlie (let's take a moment to appreciate perhaps the only normal, mentally stable person in this entire saga), in the rainy small town of Forks, Washington.

Bella is quite a bland character, but that just makes her easier to project yourself onto when you're reading the book if that's how you immerse yourself. For me, I found her obsessive and definitely not emotionally stable, and it did honestly feel like reading the diary of a manic and very unstable 17-year-old. On one hand, that's good--I'm reading from Bella's perspective, and it's written exactly how I'd expect her to write--but on the other hand, the writing feels...cheap? I completely blame my own taste in writing style for my opinion on this one, but I just couldn't enjoy the very boring storytelling happening here. It was all very 'tell-tell-tell' instead of the 'show-tell-show' way of writing I prefer.

Now here is where my adoration for this book comes in: Edward Cullen. Specifically, the interactions between him and Bella. They have conversations, and banter, and it's a fun little human-vampire-friendship that isn't awful to read (I will never never forgive the films for leaving some of the dialogue out, it's pure gold and possibly the only saving grace of this book). The characters felt like teenagers here, but it was only for the few short pages we got of them interacting without the overly-exaggerated brooding that our sweet Ed is known for.

The romance between Bella and Edward is...concerning. For me, I couldn't find a single bit of actual romance between the two of them beyond Bella's obsession with him and Edward's bloodlust and weird self-control thing he has for her. It felt really unhealthy, and I couldn't wrap my head around how people actually think there's romance there.

The whole James thing...I don't know about anyone else, but it felt really random. Yes, it added a conflict to the book, but I felt like there wasn't really any good development to make it more relevant. That all seemed to happen later with Victoria, but James didn't really feel like he fit into the story very well. I think I would have preferred it if he was gradually brought in through the book, or if there was some sort of lead up to the conflict instead of just--WHAM! Tracker dude wants to kill Bella because Edward got protective and now only the final section of the book has any action.

Twilight completely had the potential to be a good vampire-human romance novel. There was no real need for the James-Victoria storyline, even in the later books. What did they add? Only the entirety of Eclipse, but that book could be taken out completely without disrupting the story all that much.

New Moon feels like a completely different book, and I actually really liked it. The writing style still got on my nerves and made it more difficult for me to enjoy the book, but the content was so much better.

Bella's spiral in New Moon really added something to her character. Instead of another book of her constant Edward-Cullen-is-the-most-beautiful-man-to-ever-exist inner monologue, we got a whole book of her.

Jacob Black was introduced, and he was a genuinely likable character (the one thing I will say is that his inability to take 'no' for an answer really did put me off him for a large portion of the book and the next one) who brought some more normality into the book. It didn't feel like I was reading an overly-exaggerated supernatural romance, and I enjoyed it. The banter between the two of them was so realistic, and I actually really loved how Meyer explored Bella's coping mechanisms and her dependency issues when Jacob phased and Bella was left without him again.

The conflict here was much more well-executed than in Twilight, with the Volturi having been mentioned before and now becoming established properly in the saga. They're the perfect villains, and I enjoyed reading about them much more than I enjoyed the rushed few chapters of James's story in Twilight. I loved how Meyer kept Bella awake the entire way home from Italy. You really got to see the sort of wild relief that she felt when getting Edward back, and I think it was well-written and made me feel like there was slightly more going on here than the forced romance in Twilight.

I really do feel like the subject of them being mates should have come up a lot sooner. Maybe some questions on how a human could be a vampire's mate, or exploring the complications of it, because then maybe Bella's obsession would have been far more understandable earlier in the saga, and it might have felt more 'organic' than the relationship I read until Bella became a newborn later on.

And now we reach Eclipse... Eclipse, Eclipse, Eclipse... I hate it. There isn't a single part of this book that I can honestly say I enjoyed. I felt like it could have been taken out completely, and it wouldn't have made a difference to the story.

The whole book felt like a filler, purely there to resolve the issue of Victoria before moving on to Bella's pregnancy and vampirism in Breaking Dawn. It didn't feel like any part of it was important, or really memorable.

Victoria's whole storyline could have been erased without destroying the saga. The only interesting thing about the whole conflict with her was that she managed to orchestrate it without Alice seeing her, and that was the one thing that kept the book rolling on instead of it being a handful of chapters of the newborns being defeated.

The one thing that this book set up was the truce between the werewolves and the vampires, and I definitely think that could have been done in another way if James and Victoria had never existed (if you can't already tell, I really don't see the point to James and Victoria, and they don't add anything to the books except for a tiny, irrelevant bit of drama).I enjoyed how Meyer wrote the love triangle, and how she made Bella love them both. It felt, to me, more realistic that Bella would feel something for Jacob after everything we read in New Moon and how much she cared about him.

Beyond those things, though, this book really did feel completely useless to me, and I couldn't wait to stop reading it and get back to something that felt like it had a decent plot.

Okay, last one (I commend you for surviving this far). Breaking Dawn.

I...didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. I think it's a good conclusion to the saga, and I like how the characters all got a happy ending, but I can't say I think it's amazing or even close.

Bella becoming a mother felt strange and disjointed to the rest of the books--she'd never said she wanted to have a baby, and had even stated that she didn't mind not having a child if it meant being a vampire with Edward. Then suddenly she's pregnant and will let herself die to give birth to the baby? It doesn't fit with what we've read of her character up to this point, and it irked me.

And the baby name...Renesme... Can we take a second to appreciate how stupid that sounds? There were so many other options--honestly, I'd have taken literally any other option--and Bella chose to mash their mothers' names together in the worst possible way. Renesme. Ugh.

Don't even get me started on Jacob imprinting on a baby. The whole thing of imprinting makes perfect sense, but why, why, why did he have to imprint on a baby? A half-vampire baby? Surely his wolf-y instincts would be telling him to get away from her, not throw him right into her tiny little arms and have him fall in love with her. I don't get it, it creeps me out, and that's all I'm going to say about it.

As for everything else... I think it was good, it just sort of felt flat to me. All of the good parts seemed to happen intermittently through the book, scattered between barely tolerable sections and parts that, in my opinion, were shoddy. It made for a difficult book to get through, but the conclusion to the saga was almost worth the trouble.

#twilight #bookreview #book recommendations #twishite #twilightsaga #twilightbooks #booktok #honestreview #renesme

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sirengf-moved · 4 years ago

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oh boy 1) 2, 5, 7, 10, 15 || 2) 3, 7, 9 || 3) 6, 7, 20 || 4) 4, 9, 27 || part five is embarrassing so none of that shit 💓 || 6) 2, 4, 10 || i gave u so many because i lov u but i'm also fucked up 🍊🌿💐💓

mars i lov u , also don’t worry i’m vain and i love answering questions abt myself so this works perfectly 😌🍯☁️✨🍓🍃 HOLD ONTO UR BUTT THIS IS A LOT :

( part 1 ) 🍨

Have you ever cut your hair yourself?

a: as a kid i think i got something stuff in my hair , gum or ? i’m unsure it’s a foggy memory but i just cut my hair and my mom got soooooo mad bc we had a friend who was a hairdresser and we didn’t tell her or anything and we just cut it , tbh it was pretty liberating but at the same time i don’t remember if i did a good job or not 💀

Do you collect anything?

a: mmm, jars ...... me telling myself i’m gonna gather jars for spellwork and i never actually do it so i just have a shit ton of mason jars , emptied candle jars , small flasks with cork screw lids all sitting around my crystals and incense ect....... rip me.

Are you a fan of bread and butter?

a: yes! i eat fried bread w/ light butter for breakfast most mornings , probably unhealthy but like.......it’s very yummy..... 😔

Have you ever almost died?

a: ive almost drowned at least 3 times, this racist dude thst i almost beat the shit out of nearly ran me over on my way home with his redneck truck ( forgetting i knew where he lived ) , almost asphyxiated myself by swallowing melted chocolate at least 3 /4 times , almost got into a head on collision at a 4 way once, when i jumped from the side of my grandfathers sailboat onto the docks i wasn’t considering how big the leap was and landed fine but almost fell back and would’ve been crushed between the boat and dock , and i thought i was going to die when this homeless man glared me down intensely at the local burger king as i ate my chicken and lowkey cried bc i was also going through an emotional meltdown ( unrelated to said homeless man making vicious murder eyes at me , but that sure didn’t help lol ) i’ve also died a lot in my dreams / almost died in dreamscapes ..... long winded answer but hi mars i’m also fucked up 😌

Favorite animal?

a: GELADA MONKEYS! LOOK THEM UP PLS THEYRE AMAZING I LOVE THEM! BIG FLUFFY BOYS!

( part 2 ) 🥧

Do you believe the butterfly effect is real?

a: hm... i feel like every action mayhaps has some sort of consequence but personally i’ve been seeing that like, how can this be true when you have billionaires who use slave/sweatshops/prison labor but yet are rewarded with vast riches? how can you have all of these people of power constantly doing bad , horrible things and not getting their karma? will they get it ten fold? down the road? is their karma their internal struggles? do they not have any moral qualms? are they MAKING the karma for others? these are questions i constantly ask myself to be quite honest....

Do you believe in witches and/or magic?

a: yes , for the most part. there are some i believe because i can feel it , their energy and majesty in the way they hold themselves and how they view the world, some people just scare me with how they go through life with such certainty on everything, certainty terrifies me to be honest. i do definitely believe in magic! it’s in everything! from someone cooking you something that you regularly cook but it tastes better bc they made it? magic! it’s everywhere! and also practical magic ( spellwork / spirit work / deity & entity work / tarot & oracle ect ) it all interests me and i love talking about it , to people who also believe and practice and KNOW AND RESPECT CULTURE/ HERITAGE / CLOSED PRACTICES! c:

Do you believe in anything mythical/supernatural? (Bigfoot, Mermaids, Vampires, etc.)

a: sorta , i’ve had too many rhythmic taps / scratches on my window in the deep hours of the night to not believe. i’m not sure if i believe in vampires as in modern mainstream standpoint but i’m pretty open to just about anything existing..it’s just this world is so weird and i’d be naive to think that just bc i can’t perceive it with my own eyes, it just simply doesn’t exist... u know?

( part 3 ) 🍡

If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in?

a: i ain’t no snitch. also kinda depends on the friend, bc i wouldn’t turn anyone in regardless ( unless they killed someone innocent / were a budding serial killer omg ) but like do i answer calls? rarely , am i also the one everyone always goes to? yes. either way i’d prolly help you bury the body, answering the phone however? another story. ( who am i kidding i’d be so excited that a friend wants to talk or smth then get roped into this whole drama episode )

Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing?

a: YES , STORY TIME! okay so i was like 17/18 and i liked this guy and at the time i thought i was being soooooo oblivious about it , but like a few months later a friend was like ‘ did u like so and so? ‘ and i was like ‘ was it that obvious? ‘ and they were all like ‘ painfully ‘ and to this day i still get randomly reminded by my brain how stupid , cringe worthy and weird i acted , like my brain is relentless in reminding me how fucking fat of an L that whole crush thing was........ 🙃

How would you react if you had a secret admirer?

a: depends, ive had ‘secret’ admirers who turned very obsessive in my past, so i’m naturally wary , but idk if someone thinks i’m cool i have no problem with that , but if you put me on this weird pedestal then i have a problem ... 🤲🏽 td;lr : id be as humble as possible bc then i’m reminded i’m perceived.

( part 4 ) 🍰

Favorite actress?

a: lupita n’yongo!!

Favorite type of food?

a: savory / rich/ salty food, i don’t really care for sweet foods ... or fried foods ? i don’t like large portions either tbh, i like to feel full not like dead lol. my favorite types are either seafood or seafood coupled with steak and other assorted meat and sides .

Favorite sport?

a: i liked playing volleyball, i like watching soccer and occasionally college football ( ik ik.... ) but i also love watching women’s professional gymnastics!!

( part 6 ) 🌯

Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single?

a: i don’t think so.... no! it sounds like smth i’d do on accident or smth tbh ... but not smth i’d do purposely!

Have you ever done anything illegal?

a: yes! lots of things! but i’m not gonna list them all here, nothing too serious but lol yes haha

Ever lied straight to someone’s face?

a: daily occurrence tbh, i’m really good at lying , i had to get good at it as a kid in order to avoid shit so 😌 now i can convince gross men that i’m in a relationship with a huge weightlifting bouncer and we have 3 kids and hes on isle 6 and will be back soon when i’m in walmart and some creep attempts to talk to me too much! and they’ll believe me.......

#u: ( calls me )#me: ( excited to see u calling me ) omg mars hi-#u: so i killed someone #me: 🤠#PHEW #TY MARS HAVE SOME RANDOM FACTUALS ABT ME #t: ask meme #t: mars tag 🧿✨🍓#tw: death mention

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nomnomsik · 5 years ago

Note

Yandere boys to mtl keep worthless things you left behind (per example, a hairband or even a juice box you drank from, etc)

tHANKS TO @kimseokmomjins FOR HELPING ME WITH IDEAS. I couldn’t really think of any of them keeping your junk around so I changed it a bit.

Trigger warnings: unhealthy obsession, yandere-themes. Read with caution.

MOST

Jungkook

Being the creep and obsessed dude he is before he ever got together with you, he used to do really messed up things.

Jungkook didn’t know how to openly express his emotions, so instead, he decided to go through your mailbox when the flag is up to grab as many of your handwritten letters as he could.

When he got home, he would delicately open the letters and keep the sticky part when your tongue ran over to seal it up.

He’d be embarrassed at first, but if he’s desperate, he’d run his tongue over the same part just to be closer to you. Then he’ll be addicted and will continue to rob your mail when you’re trying to send things out.

It’s his equivalent to kissing a picture of you. Instead, he licks the same part of your sealed up letters.

Hoseok

When he was younger, Hoseok had his classmates sign his sneakers, with the intention of you hopefully joining in. He was elated when you signed your name on the top.

He would meticulously scrub his shoes to make sure they were never dirty because he always valued cleanliness.

Hoseok would only wear these shoes when he’s inside his home or at the dance studio. He will never wear them outside. (If he’s leaving the dance studio, he’ll change into a different pair of sneakers).

Yoongi

Being the hopeless and idealistic romantic he is, Yoongi keeps any letters or emails, basically anything of communication with you.

Every other day, he’ll be scrolling through chat logs and fantasize about different scenarios that could play out.

There are days where he just wishes he can send a love letter, but hes too scared to lose you.

He prefers being with you than his interactions via writing.

Seokjin

Seokjin keeps a napkin that you gave him once. He met you while having lunch with executives and you slipped him your number via napkin.

At first, he didn’t think much of it because he just wasn’t interested in dealing with a romantic life.

But he soon found himself giving you a call when he was lonely. He has too much pride to actually admit he keeps it with him. Though he almost had a heart attack when he thought he accidentally used it when he was eating.

Namjoon

Namjoon keeps a bookmark you’ve given him. If you ask him about it, he’d say he kept it because of the crab design.

You actually made it when you were in elementary school.

But after years, no matter how beaten up it got, he was always sporting the bookmark in any book he read.

It’s not as important to him compared to how the other members feel about their item. It’s sort of an obligation to him now.

He won’t admit he’s obsessed with it even if you tease and mock him.

Jimin

Jimin treasures a lot of things you can give him, but he quickly loses interest in them. He truly is only obsessed with you.

Giving him anything is just “fast food” to him. It’s sort and a limited consumption that he quickly gets over.

Rather than items given by you, he wants you instead.

Taehyung

Like many of the MTL, Taehyung is simply not interested in you as a person, but your beauty. It doesn’t matter if you’re labeled ugly by society or if you hate yourself, there’s something he’s attracted to.

Even he can’t explain it.

But the only thing he would keep would be art supplies or small doodles you’ve left behind. He would use them as inspiration boards when he can’t concentrate.

Nothing is better for him than to use what you’ve done and try to see your line of thinking.

LEAST

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acepalindrome · 5 years ago

Text

Stan culture really creeps me out tbh. There’s nothing wrong with being a fan of a celebrity or being attracted to them or admiring them, but you’ve got to keep healthy boundaries and respect their privacy and not treat them like a fictional character! And there’s also a whole tendency to put them on a pedestal which means either that any reasonable criticism of them is met with hostility or if they make any kind of mistake they are immediately ‘cancelled,’ regardless of the circumstances (such as if it was a long time ago or an honest mistake that they have genuinely apologized for, etc.) And that’s not even getting into all the fanfiction and shipping of real life human people who prooobably haven’t given you permission to write porn about them and their friends. That’s gross, my dudes.

And I mean, the term ‘stan’ comes from an Eminem song about an obsessive fan who ends up killing himself and his girlfriend! Which isn’t really great! Like the whole concept seems to normalize the unhealthy obsession with celebrities. They’re just human beings like the rest of us. Respect them accordingly!

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thegeminisage · 5 years ago

Note

Five Headcanons: Snow, Celes, Faith Connors, aaaaaaaand Papyrus

THANK U

SNOW:

cannot read. haha im just kidding (or am i)

sees people not liking him as a challenge. he wants to be the Most Likable Laid Back Guy Ever. sometimes this works in his favor like it did with lightning and sometimes it’s a little overbearing and creepy like with hope (and noel, eventually)

on the flip side he also has a way of…drawing out people’s badness. lowkey spoilers bc you havent gotten there yet but noel within 5 minutes of meeting him winds up talking about some of his most deeply-held pain. i think if people like snow they feel comfortable telling him that stuff and if they don’t he makes them angry enough that it comes out anyway. so he’s like accidentally a human therapy dog without even realizing it.

i think they might actually mention this in canon somewhere in like some of the start menu infodumps or one of the light novels or something but dude was an orphan so i’m sure he wants like All the children. good thing serah also likes kids

this is a REALLY BAD AND PROBLEMATIC HEADCANON but after witnessing them in game 3 i think that lightning, despite being strictly into ladies the other 99% of the time, would have wound up dating him eventually if he wasn’t, like, with serah. i don’t think she’s carrying a torch for him in canon or anything, because it just wouldn’t occur to her to think of her sister’s fiance who is also a dude that way, but in an alternative universe where he wasn’t her sister’s fiance they would have wound up working out pretty well

CELES:

i think like lightning she’s mostly into ladies so when locke comes along and she’s into him it’s sort of like ??? oh damn okay

i like celes/terra fine but i strongly prefer a sisterly relationship because they’re SUCH good foils. i think when celes was around terra prior to the start of the game she tried to find ways to be kind to her whenever possible and despite the amnesia part of terra remembered that always and so she just likes being around her

prior to the game singing was a guilty pleasure. maybe not opera singing but i think celes really just loved to do it, which is why she made a passable maria

i think as a soldier celes was denied things like dresses and bows and just taking pleasure in femininity so secretly she actually had a lot of fun getting dolled up to play maria, what really killed her was the crowds

having survived her own suicide attempt celes is very good at talking people off of their metaphorical ledges. i think in the post-game world where shit is marginally better people would have less of a reason overall to want to die but i also think she’d make it a point to patrol popular jumper spots and look after anyone she came across because she understands that despair so acutely

FAITH:

my girl faith is ARO AS HELL!! it’s possible she’s ace too (maybe lesbian oriented, or just aro and a lesbian) but definitely aro. is there such a thing as a 3-person QP relationship? i’m really into the faith/plastic/icarus dynamic but like no allo

loooooves junk food. faith probably eats like a horse to begin with because of all the energy expends being a parkour superhero but i’m sure she eats a lot of deeply unhealthy shit whenever possible. so when dogen tries to snag her for dinner with like his fancy-pants roast duck she’s like “ugh spare me”

speaking of dogen, i think faith genuinely cares for him and wants him to care for her in a father/daughter kinda way (and i think in his own way he does, or at the very least by the end she’s earned his respect, which is almost better). he’ll never be her dad, or noah, but i feel like everyone else would be like “he’s a creep” and she’d be the one going “yeah okay BUT”

no one knows what happened to faith and cat when she was little except noah and nomad & icarus is the first person she tells after the game is over. i think she’d tell plastic too eventually but icarus is Better At Feelings

doesnt like or plan on having kids but has a secret soft spot for animals, since seeing them is such a rarity in glass. glass doesnt have a huge population of strays but every once in awhile she’ll come across one and she always feeds it if she can

PAPYRUS:

LOVES halloween. we talked about this in stream a bit the other day but he’d loved giving out candy and seeing costumes and putting together his own costume (and sans’s costume lol) - it might even be his favorite holiday

right-handed! i think most monsters are left-handed to reflect how most humans are right-handed, but papyrus is a bit of an odd duck among his kind and also obsessed with humans, so him being right-handed feels Correct

easily just as OP as sans, except duh of course he doesnt ACTUALLY want to hurt you, so that’s why you don’t ever see anything truly scary out of him. he COULD do exactly what sans does, he just doesn’t want to, and he never will

cat person. evidence: dislikes dogs because dogs like bones. sans is a dog person so it only makes sense that papyrus is a cat person. after the game he adopts All The Cats

papyrus is one of those people who is scarily good at video games. like he knows all the ins and outs of different ways to spin tetris blocks and he can calculate the hit point curve of a jrpg character as they level on the fly and he can break basically any game mechanics down to the raw numbers and figure out the best most efficient way of doing things because Its Just Puzzles and thats what my guy does

(send me a character & i’ll list 5 headcanons)

#liz answers asks #bunnikkila #ask memes #ff13 #undertale blogging #ff6 #mirror's edge #long post

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kwanfairy · 3 years ago

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CHOICE TAG

Rules: Answer the questions (if you want to skip one, feel free to do that too of course!). Tag 3 people (or more or less, you choose really). Tag your post with #CHOICE_tag so we can find each other’s posts! Have fun!!

I was tagged by @choi-hae - thanks love for always thinking of me (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

I’m tagging: @aamorella @moonsehyoon @kimbye0ngkwan

i know i havent interacted with either of you 3 yet and i feel kinda akward for calling you out like this so pls feel free to ignore.

1. Introduce yourself. You choose how much and how little!

hi hi im Bikki and i hate introducing myself cause i never know what to say lmao. im a pretty big loser with a big heart and an unhealthy obsession with anything dog related cause dogs are everything („ಡωಡ„)

2. How and when did you become a CHOICE?

ive started to get into kpop fairly 'late' (in 2016) and by the time undercover dropped a year later i was still quite confused and overwhelmed but i remember i really liked the song (and could not for the life of me tell bk and sehyoon apart in that MV wtf @ 2017 me LOL). fast forward to 2020 when favourite boys hit me like a truck and honestly it all is kind of a blur afterwards lmao. the aes of the MV had me fall in love with them instantly and i think i watched a bunch of 'funny moments' vids and stuff and it all spiraled from there

3. What is your favourite part of being a CHOICE?

4. What is your favourite A.C.E song? Do you prefer their title tracks or b-sides more?

this fandom mirrors the boys' crackhead energy like i have yet to meet a choice who isnt just as weird as the fools themselves and i absolutely love it (◡‿◡)

also: being choice means being a fan of ace and whats better than that

i really cant say. i like each song for very different reasons. i love Stand By You for its soft yet melancholic vibes. i love Golden Goose cause their performance on theshow killed me. id literally go feral listening to Hell if they finally. give us. a studio version. :) :) :)

5. Who’s your bias? What do you like about them?

my bebi Byeongkwan for sure eventho i also feel very drawn to Sehyoon cause we are pretty similar personality wise (i say as i dont really know him at all lmao). but best boi BK will put me into simp mode in -0.34 secs. i cant really say why i just love this gorgeous lil firecracker (ಥ◡ಥ) and im obsessed with ppl calling him fairy it literally makes me flatline cause yes yall are so right.....

but really, im a huge simp for them all (yes... even jun eventho it makes me gag to admit it LMAO)

6. What is your favourite thing about A.C.E?

how they play (and fuck) with gender norms and try out so many different things, esp style-wise. to me, it is such an aesthetically pleasing group(point proven with the siren teasers id say). i also love how natural they seem. like they dont bother about upholding a fake image. i esp get that feeling of 'just 5 dudes being friends' which i love so dearly during their vlives - its so refreshing and fills my heart so much

7. Which concept has been your favourite? What kind of concept do you want them to try?

8. Which A.C.E friendship is your favourite? Which one do you want to see more of?

id say undercover is pretty high up there (i mean pig tails crop top BK .......) but it looks like siren will take the crown once she drops....

i showed my anti(kpop) friend the intro:escape video and she said it gave her the creeps in a good way and ever since i have gone mad wanting a horror concept omfg

9. If you could tell A.C.E one thing, what would you tell them?

given that wowkwan are soft, tender, gentle boyfriends who have all my fucking uwus and therefore dont count, id say dongjun. wait nevermind these are husbands... ok junchan it is. i just love their father-son vibes

id love to see more donghun/sehyoon but only if grandpa doesnt call yoon fat or pig cause thats a big nono!!! or dongkwan cause i cant really think of any moments of them wth

how dare yall (¬_¬)

10. Which A.C.E member would die first in a horror movie?

11. Leave a small message for your fellow CHOICE!

i think its funny that everyone says jun but lets be honest.. the dumb ones usually make it longer dksdjkl

it for sure is sehyoon cause this airhead would probably get lost in his own thoughts without even noticing that he got separated from the others. the second his man BK isnt with him anymore to protect him its over for him lol

how are you all dealing with the teasers share your secrets cause im not doing so well :')

no but srsly the choice ive interacted with have been so incredibly nice and kind and patient with me and i love how this small lil fandom is so vibrant and caring both towards the boys and one another.

#choice_tag #ask game #sorry for being so wordy i just dont have many opportunities to simp over these boys to someone eIse

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convndrums · 7 years ago

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here the FAWK she ( the semi-finished masterlist of all my characters ) is ! took way too long but hopefully as you proceed to click on the linque below you’ll know why smh but yep ! i’ll be adding their pages on my account when i’m done with them soon i hope and maybe come back with a bunch of connections for each character but for now this is all i got & smash this like or im me for plots i’d love to get on those finally xx

reintroducing amanda wheeler; intro & info page.

queen of irony. rich post- faux country gal who’s a loud homosexual and writes hetero fics/has an indie het smut for the absolute shits and giggles. dates a married woman she’s utterly in love with and will pull the life support cord for. said to be possessed by a possessed flapper. cute and knows it even though she looks like a republican. socially open & everywhere. morally grey.

reintroducing imogen yates; intro & info page. ( tw violence )

the grey area between your mom friend and your drunk aunt. happily vegan & owns a vegan restaurant called the fork, alt. the vegan cult’s lair. won’t kill you, but will convince you she really wants to. local brat tamer. minds her business via minding others. clashed head-first into nature’s very own reset button: amnesia. used to be satan and traumatized everyone. disgustingly active and accomplishing.

reintroducing ethan holland; intro & info page. ( tw suicide )

he is a sk8r boi, she said see ya later boy ( and meant it. they’re dating now. hey lourdes ! ) a nice person, so nice he doesn’t realize how fake he sounds/is. a certified headass. previously a bully/bully enabler, current guilty fuck. #torn. does the most for his loved ones. doesn’t remember his own birthday. googled foot fetishes once. trolls stan twitter with his fake selena gomez stan account when tumblr crashes. burned a sue of cide note with his name scribbled on it.

reintroducing sebastian miller; intro & info page ( tw violence )

kazimer sokolov whom. russian ex-cult member well-adjusted into a mundane life via lies, a fake canadian accent he’s ‘trying to get rid of’, being a twilight saga aficionado and a dickwad, a lame record store and a tumblr blog to keep himself sane by maintaining a general aesthetic and shitting on people and every discourse out there. knives/books sniffer. allegedly fucked a moose. probably kinkshames as a way to deal with his own “kinks” aka please keep the dead bodies away. ( im kidding i swear but [redacted] )

reintroducing prudence zima; intro & info page ( tw death )

parents died in a fire when she was two months old and it shows. idolizes avril lavigne & her favorite movie is lords of dogtown for aesthetics references. dude. social leech or effortless networker ? both. remains in her lane regardless. cry-types probably. here for a good time, not a long time. steals your stash and smokes you out with it. avid dick connoisseur. minimum effort lifestyle. either on her way to become a manager of some one hit wonder band that finds it’s demise in a freak accident, a drug dealer or god forbid, a guidance counselor; depends. mild cool girl syndrome.

reintroducing jennifer meade; intro & info page ( tw death, violence and abuse )

bi/pussy muncher and proud misandrist, first and foremost. remembers killing her brother very fondly. the one girl in a room to call when you want to kill a bug and you’re relieved until she kills it with her bare hand. tops. unstable & chaotic evil, respectively. the ginger devil. biased and has her minion whom she invests a great deal of her time in brain washing and obsessing over. supposedly here to make amends but that’s not happening any time soon.

reintroducing margot williams; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

deserves better. very gay. all her friends are heathens xtra, take it slow. corrects typos in the gc. a nerdy editorial assistant daydreaming about publishing houses instead of the magazine she works for. lowkey shy and she’s angry about it. goes off if she must. jacks off to #knowledge and yuri anime. helps with homework and essays and takes the kids out. deadpan because we’re original but she swears it’s just the face & unresolved trauma. stans her therapist. unofficial older sister.

reintroducing chandler accardi; intro ( re-written ) & info page

needs to do better. dropped out of college for culinary school then dropped out of that too. was engaged to an absolute goddess he ultimately wronged ( with her damn best friend, bitch disgostin* ) and got kicked out to the curb. currently residing in the couch of his sister until things are resolved. thot-by-default & annoying. has like three ( 3 ) redeeming qualities. has never been told to shut up and it shows. works at buzzfeed.

reintroducing abel gautier; intro & info page

french and “confused”. lives a minimalist n’ expensive life. if american psycho & french kiss were the same movie. wine sniffer. the devil bakes croissants. will watch you die. takes grudges to the afterlife. gets attached but either ruins it or ruins it to spare everyone, himself included. falls in love a lot but knows how to calm the fuck down. very giving, fortunately. manipulative but isn’t too wild about bending everything to his will.

reintroducing simini gale; intro & info page ( tw abuse, violence & mental illness )

token white actress & character in rosie’s show. [ britney vc ] its me.... against dissociation. a loud mess with an intense mental state and anger issues dulled out by her prescribed meds and whatever pill she got in the bottom of her manager’s purse. dependent and distraught about it. grocery shopping for garbage food and attending comedy stand up shows half drunk as a hobby. stable ? where. very nice and super flighty. heels are hot. wishes she could fight someone without feeling the urge to actually fight someone.

reintroducing calvin o’shea; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

it’s not just the depression more than the incredible self hatred. walks into rooms with his bad energy, grumpy mood and cunty attitude. graduated college just to shut his dad up. wants to die harder than edward cullen. just doesn’t give a shit. has a baby named freddie mercury ( also known as the antichrist, with alanis, his mortal literal enemy whom he absolutely despises and will not hesitate to put his dick back in again lbr ) who will probably grow up to talk shit about his parents whom he also mentioned in his tell-all book on ellen. works at his family’s bookstore that sucks the life energy out of college students nearing a mental breakdown.

reintroducing isabel pavia; intro & info page ( tw drug use )

contemporary dances her feelings away. too ambitious for her own good but knows what she’s doing. in a goth ass secret society ( here ) a.k.a her new found purpose. knows everything eventually. oddly trustworthy. doesn’t know what speaking loudly is, let alone yelling. loves the moon & has that moon app. had to take painkillers when she twisted her ankle very badly and would take them for a while for stress and performance reasons, but has stopped. a quiet angel.

reintroducing anastasia zeller; intro & info page

ambitious/multi-talented asshole. horror trash & an emotional/mental maze which translates well into her weird works on no sleep reddit and current horror comedy podcast. ( click here for info ). needs a therapist according to a friend, whom she dropped for saying that. will bite your head off. obsessed with her works to an unhealthy point. would love to establish a company and stuff out of it and is working on that. healthy relationships are a semi-foreign concept.

reintroducing morgan booker; intro & info page ( tw death )

vape-curious and takes photos of ghost towns and abandoned-everythings because #vision. had a roadtrip phase like the fake deep idiot he is. morally grey. genuinely here for a good laugh and spreading joy in the form of hover-friendships and taking lit candids of his friends. knows shit and comes off as a creep sometimes but does he really care. knows your mom’s name. lives in a disused hospital bc he’s marinating on that aesthetic.

reintroducing bowie harmon; intro & info page ( tw drug use & abuse )

part of a duo in a web series as the anxious n’ cackling mess. showcases her depressión & anxieté by her colorful wigs n’ new hair dyes. painful receptionist at a tattoo parlor. recovering addict who advocates for drug use. thinks tattooing a ruler on someone’s dick one day would be the peak of her accomplishments as a tattoo artist. daily bad decisions. “ it’s complicated. ” when asked about literally any relationship she has with anyone in her life. traumas include her failed singing career. an ex viner-by-association.

reintroducing shaheen bin baz; intro & info page ( tw violence & mental illness )

the physical deception of going through hell in a short amount of time with zero mental durability to begin with during midterms. trigger-anxious. will shoot your toes off your foot if caught off guard. aided in criminal operations with the brilliance of his mind in codes. would not mind dying. seasons your food. waters his crops in his balcony garden. the grey area between a super laidback dude and a crackhead with violent tendencies. nearing a mental breakdown probably.

reintroducing minka abbott-santos; intro & info page ( tw abuse )

defeats the evil stepmom stereotype one breath at a time. the human embodiment of a deer. gothic angel. alarmingly gets black swan. type to wake up to her staring at you from an armchair across the room, but lovingly, with a book she was reading in hand and two hot cups of tea; she was waiting to start the day with you. spooky until you get to know her and even more spookier when she’s ( note: calmly ) pissed but that’s extremely rare. gentle voice, soul and everything.

reintroducing reuben faulkner; intro & info page ( tw abuse & violence )

rekt hell prince. lived in an amish community with his family until he got kidnapped away from home when he was seven into an awful living situation. doesn’t remember if the gas leak that happened five years later and killed everyone was his doing or not. knows where his real family is after months of tracking them down but. blood kink under investigation. shady bouncer at a shady club. has issues he has no care or time to diminish. fights for the shits and giggles. leaves texts at read. leaves you alone for your own good and his own sanity.

reintroducing alexandra turunen; info page

wants to do everything and be everything and doesn’t know what to do with herself ( read: post-graduation identity crisis ) currently investing in a motorcycle for no reason. essentially jobless. a “retired” kathryn merteuil who “outgrew” her cunning ways since highschool but really only found new socially destructive interests. appears to be self-possessed but she’s #shaken. doesn’t care about how well she presents herself anymore after getting rejected by four universities and refusing to accept her father’s offer to pull some strings to get her in one. sleeps a lot.

reintroducing giuseppe del vecchio; info page ( tw death & drug use )

goes by pepe because well. son of italian oil peeps & is extra. said to be in a cult when all he’s in is this extra ass dining club that does the most for initiation ceremonies. ready to fall in love with you. goes to the king’s college in london and studies business & changes his minor way too often for everyone’s liking. into everything and will be down to do whatever. faux deep. mischievous shit. incredibly unbiased. had his rawrk n’ roll phase that died along with someone in a club literally. still has it but he knows god now & less drugs.

reintroducing kelian scott; info page ( tw death & drug use )

a father/father figure who tries™. runs a mechanic shop/chop shop because bad decisions and dire needs ( had his son to send to school and his daughter who passed away due to a disease he couldn’t afford to treat even after turning his shop into a chop shop. his wife then left him ). stares into the distance. wants the best for the kids but one of them is a junkie ( he doesn’t know yet ) and the other -- his niece -- is an orphan he’s worried about. thinks ahead 24/7. needs to pull out of this dull n’ depressing daily routine he has fallen into like the basic ass divorced dad he is.

reintroducing sal presley; info page

smexy trace & fingerprint detective. talks. the perfect illusion to bring home to your parents and friends. gets shit done which is both a good thing and a bad thing. looks calm, collected n’ well-rested but isn’t. his actual name is salvatore but no. knows how to mix drinks and more; used to showcase his multi-talented ass to make his ( currently ex ) fiancée look good now just himself. was engaged three times; two of those times with the same person. obsessive; gets into his job a little too intensely for no reason but #justice and maybe something else whom knows. loses sleep at least two nights a week as a habit at this point. has an extended family back home he misses occasionally. wishes he could calm down truly.

#smoke:intros #FINALLY RISING HOLY SH-#ill do some plotting n hopefully get on replies soonish hell yea lets GO!

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