#dsmp coffee shop au

[writing-oof]

!!!Las Nevadas Coffee Shop!!!

[Quackity's House of Misfits: Or, how one college student acquires several children.]

Running a small business is much more difficult when you have to do it legally, as it turns out.

There's a load of permits and inspections and promises he has to make and maintain as a business owner, and doubly so considering he works in food.

Figuring out his taxes is a nightmare too terrifying for him to even attempt, handing a lump sum to some local tax preparation business that promises to handle the paperwork for him as long as he's under fifty employees.

Quackity almost scoffs at that. Honestly, he'd be impressed with himself if he managed to hire *five* people willing to work in this part of town for what he can pay, let alone ten times that.

He spends an hour trying to budget for the business and at least twice as long panicking about it, trying to figure out where the hell three thousand dollars went in his calculations. It shouldn't be too surprising; what with the crazy city-inflation, the closest store being a twenty-minute drive away, and the fact that Quackity *still* doesn't know how to drive the car he stole from XD, the dollars spent on grocery delivery and ingredients quickly add up to numbers Quackity doesn't even want to look at.

Aside from that, he can't even open to start *making* the seven-dollar eggs and twelve-dollar cups of coffee if he doesn't get someone to fix the hole in the roof.

It's a nightmare of numbers he has to deal with before he can even start trying to crack at breaking even.

Quackity groans, halfway to slamming his head into his already broken table.

This is going to be a long night.

---

Quackity spends the first three weeks after Las Nevada's opening working himself to the bone.

He can feel himself growing more sluggish and apathetic to the world with every passing day, the weighted exhaustion that his six-hour periods of restless sleep do little to curb.

He still makes all of the drinks right--honestly, even the most complicated orders are easier than the hellish concoctions XD liked to come up with for his party guests--but he can tell that his customers are starting to notice how exhausted he is.

His first and favorite regular, Puffy--a loud and sweet ram-hybrid who'd helped him move his six boxes into his apartment and has ordered a peppermint tea every morning since he's opened--is the first to confront him.

"You look dead on your feet," she says, not unkindly. There's a furrow to her brow that almost makes Quackity feel bad. Almost.

It's hard for him to feel much of anything with his bones constantly weighing a thousand pounds.

Sometimes, he grabs around the handles on the ceramic mugs, letting the heat soak into his skin and sting his palms bright just to feel something other than the soul-crushing exhaustion.

"I'm a bit tired," Quackity says, handing Puffy her tea for the morning.

Puffy makes a sympathetic face and asks, gesturing behind the counter, "Is it just you today?"

Quackity snorts, a curl of amusement fresh against the pale and routine nothingness. "Unless I'm working ghosts past the grave, then--yeah, it's just me."

If anything, his dry attempt at humor only leaves Puffy looking more worried.

"You're the only employee?" she asks, and Quackity squirms at the thickly-layered concern in her voice.

He doesn't meet her eyes. "I'm taking applications," he says, gesturing to the "We're Hiring" sticker plastered to the window, but it sounds flat even to him.

---

Las Nevadas opens its doors early Wednesday morning, coffee already brewing and a fresh delivery of Niki's baked goods already set out for the morning rush.

The sun hasn't even come up yet, the sky still too dark for one to wander without the street lights' glow. The air is crisp and cool, the taste of the last night's rain thick in Quackity's throat as he takes a deep breath of the fresh air while kicking his plastic A-frame sign with the day's special scrawled in chalk open on the walkway in front of the store.

The morning birds chitter--pigeons, mostly, with the occasional croon of a crow--and the early traffic sends a lively hum through the city.

Things have been hard lately and Quackity's felt it, a heavier set to his shoulders and a deeper ache to his bones. Despite the long hours he's had to pull and the relentless hammering of XD's lawyer, he's finally made it work.

As the first customers filter into the shop, coins clinking into the tip jar, he feels the fruits of his labor finally coming full circle.

He's out, away from the nightmare he feels like he trapped himself in pointlessly for years, and he isn't going back. He can do this.

He *is* doing this.

This is going to be a good day, Quackity thinks, a soft smile on his face as he throws drinks together mindlessly.

---

Fundy applying is probably the best thing to ever happen to Quackity.

The first few weeks of running a small business by himself are nightmarish. He loses sleep and customers, taking the first week to get familiar with the motions of Las Nevadas.

Finally, he starts drawing more people in the door and his profits improve as word spreads about the new neighborhood coffee shop.

An unfortunate side effect of Quackity's thriving business and higher sales volume is the sudden uptick of *labor* required to maintain that volume.

He's had applications on the front counter since he opened, and a "We're Hiring" sticker on the window since before then, but the applications maintain a steady flow of zero.

After the third week of shifts far too long and naps far too short, he starts to network directly, mentioning to his sweet neighbors that he's looking for employees and telling Niki to send any stragglers his way.

---

[EVIL ex-boyfriend XD

COPARENT SCLATT AND QUACKITY

Fundy - 18, college student

Slime - 19, autistic, first employee

slime literally is a customer and quackity has to step in the back for a second and the lines getting to long and so slime literally just starts following the drink cards and making stuff (a bit wrong but not too bad) and q just lets him stay and then is like huh okay i like this im hiring you

Tubbo - 14

Tommy - 14

Ranboo (by proxy of the others, lives with the local haunting)]

[dnfao3tags]

heya!

I’ve been looking for the fic where George and Dream work in a coffee shop together, and George thinks Dream is the most annoying person in the world, since he keeps making horrible pick-up lines to the customers while serving them.

Do you know which one I’m talking about? Thanks :))

update - fic was found

this one, right?

— burnt espresso on your tongue by effervescentlies (teen | comp. | 6k)

There are a lot of things George hates about the new barista, Dream: 1. He sucks at brewing espresso. 2. He's, like, distractingly hot, in the way that makes George want to slam his head into the espresso machine. 3. He's got a thing for using pick-up lines on customers — and George. The worst part is, the pick-up lines are starting to work. George wants to kiss him. He hates it.

[star-cluster-nyx]

Im really trying to come up with ANYTHING, so I've resulted to asking writerblr;

Which power perfectly compliments telekinesis, when the person they're fighting has a mind manipulation/hive mind power and they cant touch them?

To anyone who didn't understand (cause I tend to write without much explanation);

Three people: A, B and C

A and B heroes, C is a villain

A has telekinetic powers

C has mind manipulation/hive mind powers that work through touch. Its like the person they touch is now their doll, the person has no sense of self anymore. It's like a blackout for the person controlled- they only find out they were controlled after it was over because they can't remember what happened while they were out of it.

And Im trying to find the best power for B to perfectly compliment A's telekinesis AND not be touch-activated, since the heroes can't go physically near the villain due to their power.

One option I have on my mind is wind manipulation/ air bending? But I'm not sure if it's the optimal choice and I need an outsider's help

Please?

[pancakepanda131]

LMAOOO just a sip chapter 6 has been uploaded it only took me two years HAHA

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[enderwoah]

WRITING COMMISSIONS!!

It’s been a long time coming and rather heavily requested, so I finally (finally!) took the time to open up a Kofi and throw my hat into the ring of writing commissions.

If you don’t know me, hi! I’m Ender. I’m a fanfiction (mostly oneshots) writer for the MCYT community, primarily focused on content regarding the Life Series/Hermitcraft/Empires members. Some of my best works (as deemed by readers) include:

this limited life bad boys oneshot (hurt/comfort, jimmy + grian-centric, 4.2k)

this DSMP crimeboys oneshot (hurt/comfort, tommy-centric, 3k)

this empires s2/hermitcraft s9 ranchers oneshot (hurt/comfort, jimmy + tango-centric, 17k)

this fae AU mumbo-centric fic (mumbo-centric, 25k, 4 chapters, incomplete but now updating again)

…along with my longest and most popular fic, to write is human (c!tommy goes to hermitcraft, tommy + grian-centric, 125.5k, 22 chapters, incomplete).

If any of that stuff interests you, maybe check out my commissions! As I am an MCYT blog, all commissions will be MCYT for the foreseeable future. :D

SERVERS I WILL WRITE FOR:

Life Series (3rd Life, Last Life, Double Life, Limited Life, Secret Life, Real Life)

Jimmy and Grian focused works are my strong suit, but I can do just about anything when it comes to AUs.

Hermitcraft (Seasons 8, 9, 10)

Grian focused works are my strong suit, along with s10!Joel.

Dream SMP

Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, c!Wilbur, Techno, and Philza focused works are my strong suit.

QSMP (events/characters up until the end of the first Purgatory event)

Outsiders SMP (c!Owen focused)

Empires SMP S1 (e!Scott focused)

Empires SMP S2 (e!Scott, e!Jimmy, e!Pix, e!Shubble focused)

This list is subject to updates! New servers come out all the time, and some might fall out of favour. I'm also willing to write about any characters not listed, just ask!!

WHAT I WILL WRITE:

Platonic relationships

Familial relationships

Canon divergence (“This person dies instead of this person,” “this event doesn’t happen,” etc)

AUs (modern, college, coffee shop, mermaids, fantasy, etc)

Fluff

Hurt/Comfort

Angst

Whump

Horror (I’ll try my best o7)

WHAT I WON’T WRITE:

NSFW ANYTHING

Detailed gore

Torture

Romance (sorry, not yet)

Anything that I deem uncomfortable in the moment!! I reserve the right to refuse a commission if I so please.

PRICES:

1k Words or Less - $10

1k - 2k Words - $20

2k - 3k Words - $25

3k - 4k Words - $30

4k - 5k Words - $35

I’m capping it out at 5k for my own sake. It might increase once I have more consistent writing habits, but, for now, that is the absolute limit. If I end up going over the words you commissioned, I will not charge more (because that would be unfair). I’m also only having five slots open at a time so I can actually complete things in a timely fashion.

Payments must be made directly through Kofi! When requesting, please give as specific of a description as you need for the fic. If you just want something set in an AU or something general (“ranchers domestic fluff,” “monoduo bonding,” “Bolas Rojas fantasy AU,” etc), that’s perfectly fine, but expect it to take longer since I’ve got to come up with the idea from scratch!

Given that I am in college, it may take a while for your commission to be completed. If a month has passed and your commission isn’t at least 2/3rds of the way done, you’ll receive a full refund.

And here's the link (again)! Thank you for supporting me! :D

[royallygray]

fic recs pls (part 1)

I am in need of long (don’t actually know what qualifies as long, 10k+ words?), complete (or not) dsmp (mainly sbi) or Life Series fanfic recommendations. I have read so many and I am trying to find more to soothe the brain itch.

Here are several that I have read, if you’re looking for fic recs yourself :)

Dream SMP (SBI)

tommyinnit’s clinic for supervillains by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti) — [26/26 chapters, 189k words] aka “clinic”. A superhero au from Tommy’s pov where he’s just chillin with his healing powers and then he heals a villain and then gets sucked into it. He also gets attached to this Wilbur guy that visits the coffee shop he works at.

the world forgetting by the world forgot by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti) — [21/21, 165k words] A superhero au from Tommy’s pov where he is the hero Dream’s sidekick and has terrible amnesia, forgetting the entirety of what happened the year before. The Syndicate, a band of villains, is looking for something that was stolen from them.

Hush Now (You Were Lost But Now You’re Found) by CorpseArt — [Incomplete, 56/?, 301k] A superhero AU where Tommy was Dream's sidekick and made it his entire person, and then Dream kicks him out of the Hero Corp. Tommy needs to figure out what the fuck is going on, bc there's no way Dream would just do that, even if he did protect the villain Siren. Their one rule is to not kill. Also he meets this funky man named Wilbur at a coffee shop and they become besties. (Pogtopia my absolute beloved.)

say you’re open by remrose — [9/9, 43k] A magic AU from Wilbur’s pov where he finds this kid unconscious on the floor if his shop after attending his mother’s funeral, obviously bearing the marks of intense chaos magic. He takes care of the kid. He also gets sold a mysterious object. The twinsduo here makes my heart sing. Also Phil is kind of like “you are mildly breaking the law” and Neapolitan trio just shrug.

Technoblade’s Entirely Average Babysitting Gig by opheliabloo — [3/3, 34k] A Techno pov fic where he is in college and needs money. A really shady family is offering like 20k for babysitting for 3 hours or something absurd like that, and him being a money-hungry college student, he ventures to this house in the middle of nowhere to take care of gremlin children that try to kill him.

His Curse of Binding by bari_astralis (orphan_account) — [30/30, 144k words] A foster au from Tommy’s pov where he is reincarnated into different Greek hero stories and he needs to figure out who this time’s story is before his sixteenth birthday. Featuring: Complicated SBI bonding, (minor) Clementine being a girlboss, bench trio being absolutely precious, allium duo making fun of each other but alsok being so damn precious, Linda Smith and Miss Allingham bashing (you’ll understand when you read it, I hate their guts), and generally trying to find your peace in life.

Breathing’s Just a Rhythm by MollyPollyKinz — [53/53, 186k] A time travel canon-divergent fic where Tommy, Schlatt, Dream, Tubbo, and The Voices travel from Exile era back to Pogtopia-Manburg era, and they've gotta fix the shitty world and avoid Dream at all fucking costs. Relationship building happens, and the Voices are the best character to ever exist in all literature.

the from ice to water series by Drhair76, plantform — [12 works, 157k words] The main fic is icing those hurts, but my personal favorite is hailing on you. An ice skating au fic centered around found family and belonging in a place without harm. In the main fic, Tommy gets healed, but in hailing on you, Wilbur gets healed and it's so sweet <3

holding onto nothing by remrose -- [20/20, 71k] A mainly Techno pov fic, twinsduo centric. adhd and autistic techno, and his mom is a bitch. He goes to the Crafts for help and it's terribly sweet but also pretty angsty. At times this fic has literally been my lifeblood, like my support system in keeping me alive. I love it so much.

My Faithless Hoax by phantom_star739 -- [24/24, 105k] A supernatural? (fae, vampire, siren) crimeboys centric fic with mild political aspects. I don't really know how to describe it, but it's amazing.

Fic recs part 2!

[dragonciphering]

This is:

This is literally Jacks attitude in a nutshell for this AU.

The AU name is: NIMFCS! AU or Not In My Fucking Coffee Shop! AU.

One thing I’ve always been a tiny bit annoyed by is that in DSMP vigilante fics, Tommy’s always the center of the fic. I mean, I don’t hate it, but there are not a lot of original ideas.

So hear me out a “vigilante” fic but Jack Manifold as the protagonist. But he’s not even a vigilante. He a guy behind a counter for a caffe.

He fits so perfectly like, he’s making the bare minimum and surviving off of pure spite. Maybe he even fought off a robber with a fork just because. He honestly could not bring himself to care.

And maybe it’s Tubbo trying to hire/kidnap/become friends with him. Because their both smart and he find jack fascinating. Or he could be trying to kill him. But jack laughs in the face of death.

Tubbo: Get ready to die >:D

Jack: Nah

Tubbo: What— What do you mean “Nah”?!

Jack: Are you gonna order something? Or can I chose for you?

Tubbo:

Tubbo: We’re gonna be best of friends.

Jack:

Jack: You literally just threatened to murder me. Wdym??

——————————————————————

[antimony-medusa]

All Together Getting Out Of The Hole Together

Everyone seemed to know each other, and they were all chatting sociably. Ranboo tugged on one of his bracelets and made himself let it go before he snapped the elastic. None of the other people in the room seemed especially depressed. How was he going to fit in here, in the “intensive therapy and life skills” his doctor had suggested they try? They never felt like they knew what they were doing, how was this going to do, classes and group therapy added to the mix? A tall man with glasses and long faded pink hair sat down one seat away. He had a bag from the hospital coffee shop clutched in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. “You gluten free?” the man with the pink hair asked, glancing in his direction and then frowning at thin air. He snatched his glasses off his face and polished at the lenses with one hand. Ranboo glanced at him uncertainly, but there was no one else in this corner of the room. They’d chosen it specifically because they could have their back to the majority of the room when they were sitting in it. “No?” he ventured. The man with the pink hair held out the paper coffee shop bag. “Got a ginger cookie but I changed my mind. Do you want it?” Or: Boreal Trio does Day Hospital

Status: 6/6 chapters, updated 3 December, 17,239 words

Fandom: DSMP

Characters: Technoblade, Philza, Ranboo

Relationships: Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting. Alternate Universe - Therapy, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Jokes, Mention of suicide attempts, Therapy, Psychiatric medication, Food, discussions of poverty, Ableism, self-harm mention, Discussions of infidelity, People Having Imperfect-Though-Positive Reactions To Various Coming Outs, Realistic Depictions of Group Therapy, if you know you know, You Put A Bunch Of Deeply Unhappy People In A Room And Tell Them To Talk, shit happens, Disabled Phil Watson | Philza, Autistic Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Autistic Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson is Not Technoblade's Parent (Video Blogging RPF, )Found FamilyIn That These People Are Each Other's People Now It Is Not Nuclear At All, Hopeful Ending, I Accidentally Microagressioned Phil, Significant Amounts of Meal-time Discussions, Set in some unspecified east coast city

My second pinch hit! In which I decided to take the blorbos and went what if they were really, really, REALLY sad.

(It was really fun to try my hand at a modern au for this one, but mind the tags, this one hits some heavy subjects.)

[thesnailkiwi]

1, 2, 8, 12, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, and 25 for traffic life?

1. The character everyone gets wrong

Okay, see, I know people have different ideas and opinions and headcannons, but OH. MY. GOSH. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED.

The MCYT fandom makes me want to scream half the time. I'm gonna say it. Everyone gets BadBoyHalo wrong. Skeppy, Tommyinnit, JSchlatt, Stressmonster, Niki, and a bunch more, too. Half the time I want to explode in this fandom, so I stick with fanart, unless it's flower husbands. Because most FH shippers can read the characters well.

Musical theatre. People always (well, okay, not *always*) get Heather McNamara wrong when acting. I've seen so many awful versions. And Jenna Rolan from Be More Chill, especially when writing fanfic. Though, lemme tell you, all the characters in Be Less Single (BMC dating sim fan game) were spot on. Perfect, I tell you.

2. Compelling argument why my fave would never top or bottom

OKAY SO LISTEN UP, FUCKERS. MICHAEL MELL IS A SWITCH AND I STAND BY THAT.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

8. Common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about

I'm overthinking. This could either mean opinions ABOUT fandom or fandom discourse. I'm assuming the latter.

I dunno man. I don't pay attention much to other people's opinions. I mean, if they badmouth my blorbos, I will have a compelling argument why the are the best being to exist. Headcannon-wise? I mean, okay, I really don't want this taken the wrong way *at all*. But I don't like it when people include [insert character] is trans/queer/pronouns/mental disability if it doesnt have anything to do with the fafic/story that's being told. I understand if you project or write a vent fic or whatever, because those are things to get out of your brain, or if you headcannon this or that, I get it. But if it has no relevance at all to the story, *if it isn't even mentioned*, DONT PUT IT IN THE GODDAMN TAGS.

It's not really a heated opinion, but I needed that out there.

I don't really like to shit on other people's headcannons. But if the opinion is "glup shitto is a bad character", OR FUKIGN WHATEVER THE FUCK THE MCYT SPACE DID TO NIKI, then I will fight you.

WAIT WAIT DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TOMMYINNIT X HERMITCRAFT. OR TOMMYINNIT X EMPIRES. UGH. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

12. The unpopular character I like and everyone else hates

Okay. Listen. Purpled. Barely anyone paid attention to that guy because he wasn't a "main character" (there were none in the DSMP, people.) And everyone doesn't like his character after what he did to Slime. But I feel like he's a super deep character that gets overlooked. Quackity literally blew up his house and forced him to go live in Las Nevadas. Quackity also took a lot more from him, too. And when he killed/kidnapped Slime, he was projecting and let all of his grief out on the thing that Quackity cared about, since everything Purpled loved was taken from him.

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art

Okay okay okay. But like, guys. Coffee shop au's. It's simple, right? It's one of the most well known. BUT JESUS, BMC FANDOM, THERE ARE LIKE 5 TOTAL ON AO3. SOULMATE ONES, TOO.

Speaking of soulmates, the Hermitcraft/Life series doesn't have that many non-canon function ones. Like, I want to see timers. Or strings. Or the characters see color for the first time. Or the place their soulmate touches them first changes colors. There's not many.

18. It's absolutely criminal the fandom has been sleeping on...

The MCYT fandom has been sleeping on a bunch of damned bricks, don't even get me started.

There's too much to put for the MCYT fandom.

The BMC fandom has been sleeping on the wholeass line of "If Christine likes me in the end, will I be able to pretend I didn't fail my one real friend?" And all of the hidden stuff in the music. Like how in the broadway version, in The Play, the backtrack plays LGW when Jeremy gives Christine the Mtn Dew Red.

19. I'm mad/ashamed/horrified that I like...

I'm not answering this one. I apologize, but these heinous words do not need to be said to the entire world.

22. The favorite part of Canon everyone ignores

MCYT: everyone ignores smaller creators and literally the entire Canon. So all of it.

BMC: okay, listen, the silver hair the squip has is an absolute banger, okay??? And let's talk about that entire couch scene where Christine rejects Jeremy.

23. The ship I'm unwillingly coming around to

Majorwood. Kill me. I hate it so much omg but like, it slaps.

25. Annoying common fandom complaint

Uh, guys, it's okay to like the Era when ranboo and tubbo were friends. It's not taboo. I still go back and watch vods.

Sorry that one genuinely pisses me off whenever I see people like, "I wish that never happened". Like, guys, don't ignore important parts of what got ranboo to who he is and where he is today. Educate the young boobers. It's not wrong to like when two people are friends.

Then I hate it when people complain about shipping convex and are like "they're brothers!" No, they're not. That's your headcannon, not mine. Same with Grian and Jimmy. They aren't brothers. You can ship them if you want, just don't make it weird.

Anyway, thank you as per usual for sending me the ask, trash the beloved

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

13 and 16 for dsmp :P

Worst blorbofication

I have had to physically stop myself from mentioning c!Quackity during conferences with my English professors, in Dungeons & Dragons sessions with people who know nothing about the DSMP, and while getting anesthetics at a dentist appointment. If that doesn't count as terminal "omg blorbo from my shows" disease, I don't know what does

Non-DSMP counterpart: my unwritten but highly detailed JoJo Part 5.5 plot featuring Giorno and Jotaro being autistic in equal but contrasting ways

Why do people like this

Can someone please explain the appeal of coffee shop AUs? I don't mean just any modern or domestic setting, I mean fics specifically centered around characters in a coffee shop. I just want to get my drink and get out, and I know the poor baristas want to get their pay without being held up. Maybe this is just my anxiety about making small talk with strangers but I simply do not get it

[edgarallanpoestan]

Masterlist

Multi-Chapter Works:

if we could go back (would you save me?) - (DSMP, ongoing, 7/? chapters) Tommy-centric time travel au! Tommy wakes up in his childhood bedroom, in a body he doesn't recognize anymore, and has to figure it all out. So, technically pre-canon.

Reach Out My Hands (For Two to Hold) - (DSMP, ongoing, 1/2 chapters) Karl-centric. Karlnapity fae/arranged marriage au. Established karlnap, then Karl is told that he is to marry Quackity! Gasp!!! Fully made up the court system bc I make the rules.

Who We Once Were - (DSMP, ongoing, 2/6 chapters) Pre-canon fic following Tommy, Tubbo, Wilbur, Niki, Techno, and Philza (in that order). Short chapters detailing each character right before joining the server.

Multi-Work Series:

A Collegiate Mess - (DSMP, 2 works, ongoing) Karlnapity college au!!

Tumble-Dried Heart - (1,055 words) Karl-centric laundry room meet cute! Karl (literally) runs into Sapnap in the laundry room, they flirt. Basically just fluff.

One Macchiat-Oh - (1,426 words) Quackity-centric coffee shop meet cute. Q is a barista, Karl is the cute guy who comes in with his boyfriend every day, and Wilbur is a menace.

The Sun, Moon, and Stars Above (I'll Give Them All To You) - (QSMP, 3 works, ongoing)

A Bit Messy, But A Family Nonetheless - (2,292 words) Quackity-centric q!tntduo. Wilbur returns from tour, and discovers a family waiting for him.

No Barrier Could Stop How I Love You - (1,342 words) Wilbur-centric. It's really just domestic fluff with Wilbur, Quackity, and Tilín. Wilbur makes them all breakfast.

Leaf Through The Pages - (5,016 words) Wilbur-centric. Fit gives Wilbur a tour around the island, and he is brought to the adoption center. They find Tallulah, and Wilbur has suddenly doubled how many children he has.

One-Shots:

Still-Beating Heart - (TFTSMP, 2,596 words) Sherman-centric. Sheriff Sherman and Crops are homoerotic.

Outside of the Ordinary - (DSMP, 4,071 words) Fundy-centric, modern/real world au. Fundy learning about himself, discovering that he is trans, and coming out to his family. Follows him up to approximately middle school.

Coruscant - (DSMP, 5,006 words) Techno-centric, pre-canon. Emduo my loves, with a dash of SBI. We see Techno and Phil's first meeting, the evolution of their friendship, and a little bit of Techno interacting with Phil's sons. Basically, Techno and Phil are platonic, immortal soulmates. I love them a lot.

The House Always Wins - (DSMP, 2,252 words) Wilbur-centric. Wilbur has been made to work in Las Nevadas, where guests (as Quackity calls them) gamble using abstract ideas. Also there's a little bit of homoerotic tntduo, as a treat.

Shatter - (DSMP, 932 words) Quackity-centric. Tntduo angst set during the Manberg-Pogtopia War. That's really it.

The Sun in the Heavens Above - (DSMP, 1,148 words) Wilbur-centric. Tntduo conversation, also set during the Manberg-Pogtopia War. Some fluff, some angst.

How To Say "I Love You" - (DSMP, 1,010 words) Tommy-centric. Benchtrio fluff! Tubbo makes Tommy a prosthetic.

Wilbur Soot's Guide to Doing Chores (Derogatory) - (DSMP, 724 words) Wilbur-centric. Basically, Phil forces Wilbur to do chores while staying in the cabin. Wilbur pouts about it.

Anything You Can Do - (DSMP, 1,581 words) Techno-centric. Emduo enemies to friends!!!! Modern/real world au, they just cause problems at all times.

Wilbur Gets Tommy-ified - (DSMP, 790 words) Wilbur-centric. Crimeboys + benchtrio! Tommy teaches his friends and brother how to crochet, Wilbur retaliates with an old hobby of his own.

Chances, Chances - (DSMP, 1,875 words) Quackity-centric. Tntduo college au, they're exes but Wilbur gets drunk at a party and Quackity has to drive him home. Tommy is an instigator.

God Fucking Fuck You - (DSMP, 2,201 words) Wilbur-centric. Tntduo preening fic. Wilbur notices that Quackity's wings seem to be bothering, and decides to do something about that. Featuring an author's note that rambles extensively about avian anatomy.

Home Is... - (DSMP, 1,329 words) Tubbo-centric. Benchtrio being soft in Snowchester with Michael. Food is a love language and maybe the tiniest bit symbolic.

A Family, Begrudgingly - (DSMP, 1,903 words) Techno-centric. Soft, fluffy, SBI game night. That's all :]

World of Discovery - (DSMP, 3,318 words) Tommy-centric. Superhero AU, specifically a vigilante Tommy AU, written by someone who doesn't really like superhero AUs. For SBI Bingo

Tasting Salt From The Sea - (DSMP, 2,188 words) Phil-centric. Selkie!Kristin AU. Just a lighthearted little fic about Kristin getting to see her family again.

Smelling The Roses - (DSMP, 1,294 words) Ranboo-centric. Ranboo, Tubbo, and Michael have a picnic, and read together! Pure, tooth-rotting fluff

But Still, You're the Same - (DSMP/Origins SMP, 1,666 words) Sneegsnag-centric. Sneeg dimension-hops to DSMP, and interacts with some of the familiar yet not-so-familiar members of this new server.

My Fingertips Are Frozen (But My Heart is Still Warm) - (Origins SMP, 2,118 words) Tommy-centric. It's really just a snow fight and then cuddles. Found family fluff, my beloved.

Glass Memories (I Look Through and Shatter) - (QSMP, 1,529 words) Wilbur-centric. Hurt/comfort with Tallulah, who has a nightmare where her dad is scary and different. Wilbur kind of remembers this, which is very weird for him.

Finding You Again - (QSMP, 3,593 words) Techno-centric. Technoblade arrives at Quesadilla Island and gets to meet Chayanne, Missa, and Tallulah! Mostly just fluff really

My Voice Is Lost, Can't You Hear Me? - (QSMP, 1,572 words) Tallulah-centric. Set during the second egg event stream, when the children were all in the attic while their parents introduced themselves downstairs. Hurt with a little bit of comfort.

Certainly A Phantom - (QSMP, 1,369 words) Cellbit-centric. An awkward, stilted meeting between Cellbit and Wilbur. It works out, kind of.

Multifacted - (QSMP, 8,729 words) Slimecicle-centric. Slimeriana professor AU, featuring lots of bickering and adorable Juana. There is also some wonderful art!!!

Iridescent - (SMPEarth, 1,197 words) Techno-centric. It's basically just emduo fluff, idk what to tell you. Techno is Netherborn, he's cold. Cuddling is the solution (in my head it's set in the same universe as Coruscant, but they arent actually connected in any way lmao).

Catch These Z's - (SMPEarth, 1,069 words) Techno-centric. Again, it's basically just emduo fluff. Techno is tired, and Phil doesn't like that (again, set in the Coruscant/Iridescent universe in my mind. They are not essential reads, though).

Birds of the Same Feather - (D20 - A Court of Fey and Flowers, 538 words) Grandfather-centric crackfic. You remember that scene where the cousins give Grandfather a love potion and also a drug mask? Yeah this is that scene, but he falls for Grabalba and I use an excessive amount of bird puns.

Rebirth - (D20 - Neverafter, 1,322 words) Ylfa-centric. She gets to have a nice little conversation with Death as she gets older.

Ebony Apples - (D20 - A Court of Fey and Flowers, 2,282 words)

Translations:

One Macchiat-Oh (Русский перевод) by @niannyannyan

Mi voz está perdida, ¿no me puedes oír? (Traducción Española) by Anonymous

Art (inspired by my works!):

Multifaceted Art by amixofpersonalities

Multifaceted Art by patorucho

[fryingpan1234567]

welp I’m obsessed now, have some more headcanons from my college au

Wow not just Empires this time? Crazy

So the DSMP- it’s funny because no one else really swears, so when one of them (particularly like Q or Tommy) swears they get like a hundred people going “LANGUAGE” and at least four of them flick them in the side of the head

A few of them show promise as far as building goes- Foolish and Sam are both pretty awesome STEAM people

Most of them still don’t know what they’re doing tho lmao

As previously mentioned, the dorm buildings are really funky but I want to talk about them more

So the ESMP (Empire Building) is gorgeous architecture and vaulted ceilings and mural walls done by students; very shmancy, as far as dorms go. And then all the rooms are very different styles- Joel and Pix share a room (bf things✨✨) and it’s an Ancient Greek style, Scott and Sausage have a very colorful place, Lizzie and fWhip’s room is full of plants, aquariums, terrariums, and as many other living things as possible, Katherine and Shelby have lots of witchy magic everywhere and it’s pink and green and purple and black, Gem and Jimmy’s place is an absolute mess of things, but it’s all perfectly organized and put together and Gem’s ceiling is a skylight. Ollie and Joey look right over the coast, but the dorm is mostly ship themed because Ollie pitches a tent on the beach most of the time

I… didn’t really want to talk about the other two I just wanted to do Empires XD

Well a lot could be said about everyone’s fashion sense, because here’s the thing: they’re college students

That means we’ve got some of them absolutely tryharding and the others too lazy to throw on much more than jeans, a partner’s shirt or hoodie, and the nearest pair of Converse

But our tryhards (Tango, I’m looking at you) are out here in full fits and sometimes makeup that they spent a good hour on that morning and like?? Who’s got that kind of energy??

But all of them have to try at least a little bit sometimes, because field projects are a thing and they can’t show up in their pajamas

Example number one: fWhip spends most of his time in a combination of Pix’s sweats, Joel’s hoodies, and Lizzie’s flannels. But when it’s time to climb down into a bigass cavern for three days, it’s a WHOLE other story

We’re talking cargo pants, hiking boots, Mojang Uni T-shirt, full climbing harnesses, and he’s tied the longer front part of his hair into a unicorn horn to keep it out of his face so you can see the freckles all over his cheeks and forehead. We’re not gonna talk about why his partners very suddenly had nosebleeds while waving him off on his trip have fun babe!!

Example two: Bdubs normally wears his fuzzy green bathrobe that looks like moss over a white T-shirt and black jeans, but on days where he was to present projects/ models/ builds, it’s a sweater over a collared shirt and a Uni cap that Etho ALWAYS has to steal just because it’s that tempting to mess with his poor short boyfriend

But ofc there’s always those ones (ahem DREAM) who just don’t put all that much effort in

Niki, Lizzie, Stress, Katherine, Gem, Hannah, and Shelby work at the campus coffee shop (their menu is infused with magic!)

You can order a latte with a shot of confidence if you’ve got a presentation

You can order extra hydration if you have a field trip and need to walk a lot and you don’t want to bring a water bottle

The campus wind sailing team that consists of Puffy, Joey, Ollie, Ren, and Keralis uses the bay for practice while the rest of everyone else has a beach day (it’s a crowded but lovely sight)

Truth or Dare at parties is a fucking nightmare are you kidding me

Do not challenge Dream to obstacle courses. The only one who’s ever beaten him is Grian

Anyways

[piratesexmachine420]

Since letterboxd doesn't have it (duh) here's my review of Parkour Civilization 1 & 2:

It's kind of like if Dragon Ball was only the boring parts.

The story is contrived, the plot holes are gaping, the mysteries are more-or-less nonexistent (either because you're told everything or because you're told nothing), the constant tell-don't-show narration is tedious (but rarely annoying), the constant vine booms are tedious and annoying, the pacing is best "serviceable", the fights are inane and the tactics lean 'idiot plot' (why wouldn't you always do a OHKO if you were capable? why does only Evbo regenerate health with the champion's boots during fights?), the worldbuilding is thin (but sufficiently present that I'd bet a benjamin there's a fandom wiki run by a bunch of twelve year olds), the vocal delivery is ...fine, and the acting + cinematography + editing + set design are all mid-tier machinima stuff (with one exception, which I thought was also ...fine).

Also none of the characters have names except Seawatt and Evbo. Not a problem, just odd. What's up with that?

Furthermore: basically no women, besides IIRC the librarian. Misogyny or small friendgroup? You decide! (Likely the latter. Still, not breaking any barriers here.)

I did like "I realized it was written in parkour". That was a funny line.

If you're, like, stuck on an airplane or something, it passes the time. Or if you're seven years old. (If you are seven, what are you doing here?!) Or if you're the sort of person who thinks 100-word wattpad DreamSMP coffee shop AUs are the peak of fiction. (Not that it's much like a DSMP coffee shop AU. Consider this an opportunity to branch out to a new genre.)

[im-tempted]

Dsmp coffee shop AU but the whole plot is just an end of quarter meeting about the upcoming fiscal year and the new training regiment

[theprivatearchives]

23rd September 2021

My platonic OTP is now Frank and Carl in "Catch Me If You Can."

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I want to read a dsmp shop worker AU where one character has a really rough time with customers refusing to wear a mask and them having to try and get them to follow the guidelines and them later on maybe they're close to quitting because of it but the other character comforts them, hugs them, maybe buye them coffee and a slice or something after their shift to help them through it. If I wasn't kinda sick or dnf if would work for them. A spin could be that the two characters are strangers or like mostly strangers like they go to the same college or maybe not, and the second one sees what happens and then just fills in for the first one after finding out that the boss is a petty chill and good boss and they wouldn't necessarily get in too much trouble for it if they explained it. Its kind of like hurt/comfort, I suppose, just emotional stuff instead of physical pain.

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I actually watched both Good Will Hunting and Catch Me If You Can today. Robin Williams is quickly becoming a favourite actor of mine. I'd heard his name plenty of times before, but never like picked him out in a film, but now I've watched two "classics" of his, I guess you could say, I really do like him. Good Will Hunting is exactly my kind of movie and I loved it.