#drunk pilot

[thisdrinkinglife]

Dean Martin and Foster Brooks sketch

Foster Brooks as the Drunk Airline Pilot, Dean Martin at the bar.

[drunkpilot]

Venturing Venice: The City of Canals Through My Inebriated Eyes

Venice Venice… the city of canals and romance. It’s a place where the streets are made of water and the buildings are adorned with intricate details. But what happens when you visit Venice with an imaginary monkey that shows up when you drink and a smokin hot wife whom you adore? Let’s just say that the city takes on a whole new dimension. Here’s a tale of my intoxicated journey in Venice,…

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I am far too drunk to explain this coherently but I'm listening to music abd I think that if you combine tenty one pilots with fallout boy you get my chemical romance

[jimmyspades]

JAMES SPADER as Timothy Fenwick, Jr. in the pilot of DINER (1983)

[immortalfan666]

Twenty One Pilots Merch I’ve had since middle school 😭

Not all my merch cause I’m definitely missing more. This isn’t including Trench/ anything other than shirts and SAI era bs. Idk what to do with my oh my josh I’m so dun shirt xD

(I have big plans)

[urproblematicfav-ao3]

wipwipwip

I love my babies so much. y'all remember the whole The Great Molasses Flood thing?? Yea that

Also funfact: the song Alastor's playing is Atonement from the Journey soundtrack(specifically at 4:40) Which is both my favorite part of the whole game, and also funny because no the fuck he isn't

[1roentgen]

hmmmmmmm

[calkale]

I swear ill be normal around the planes i promise ill be good and normal i swear just let me near them please please please

[mickimomo]

A Crack Ship Snippet

M'Baku × Everett × Namor

I have no idea how I feel about this cardboard ship I built, lol. I tend to be on the ship, and sometimes, I get off. Anyways. Like always. The discord boosted my head up, and I did it. 🫶🏾 Here's a picture of all of us. 🤣 nsfw-ish fanfic

It all started with a request to the bartender as Everett settled on the stool.

"Ah. Hey? Do you guys have any foreign liquors or-"

"Of course, the only white man in all of Wakanda would come up and ask for something foreign." The bartender scoffed.

"Well there's Bucky-"

"The White Wolf does not ask for something from abroad."

Ross opened his mouth for a moment before sighing. "I'm sorry. Do you have any suggestions or recommendations...?"

"You look like a fruity drink with an umbrella kind of guy."

"Ah-"

"Am I right?"

"Well- not fully. I do enjoy a Jameson on the rocks from time to time-"

"Oh manly. Such a manly man with his Irish whiskey." He scoffed.

"So you do have foreign liquor-?"

"You're in Wakanda! We are an advanced nation! Of course we have foreign liquor!" The man frowned. "But why would you come to Wakanda and order something you can get anywhere in the world instead of getting something you can only get here?"

"I- uh- I didn't think-"

"Oh, calm down, colonizer. I'll make you something nice." The bartender chuckled as he stopped polishing a shot glass and set it down in front of him. "Let's get some Wakandan vodka in you while I work on that, mm?"

"Sounds like a plan." He offered a small smile.

"Good." They poured him a shot. "This stuff right here is incredible. We call it the Heart of Wakanda."

Everett eyed the clear liquor. "Why?"

"It's made with the dead leaves of the heart-shaped herb."

"Is that safe for me to drink?"

"Yes. I'm not out here handing out mugs of absinthe." He chuckled. "Drink." He gestured to the glass.

Everett eyed the glass skeptically before picking it up and downing it.

It had a bitterness that rivaled cough syrup and black licorice, causing him to choke and nearly gag as it raced down his throat.

"Are you sure that isn't absinthe!?"

"I'm sure."

"That was awful." He groaned.

The bartender chuckled. "Don't worry. The next drink will be better."

"Ugh." He groaned as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Do you have any citrus slices? Preferably an orange?"

He was slid a tangerine and watched the bartender start working on his drink with a sigh.

This wasn't exactly what he had asked for, but it would do.

He grabbed the fruit up and began to pick at it, eager to cleanse his palette.

That is until a large hand smacked his back before sliding around to squeeze his shoulder.

"What are you doing over here by yourself, colonizer?"

Ross sighed when he recognized the Jabari king's voice moments after being hit with a wave of his cologne. "Hiding from you."

"Hiding from me?" He chuckled before pulling away to sit beside him. "You are one of the only two white men in Wakanda right now. You cannot hide from me without leaving the nation."

"Well, I'm a wanted man, so I can't leave."

"Then you cannot hide." He grinned.

"He could always come to Talokan."

They both turned to look at Namor, who had chosen to sit on the opposite side of the dazed American.

"You would let a colonizer into Talokan?"

"He is an ally. However, I would not hesitate to kill him if he caused any issues." He offered a warm smile to the Jabari king before looking down at Everett. "But you wouldn't give me a reason to need to kill you, right?"

Everett parted his lips in shock before refocusing on his tangerine. "No!" He frowned. "I have no idea why either of you are talking to me." He huffed as he began to pick at the fruit's skin. "I'm off the clock. There's no need to be near me."

"I can go wherever I wish. This is Wakanda." M'Baku nudged him. "If I wish to annoy you while you pout over a tangerine, I will."

"I am not pouting."

"Then why are you struggling to peel it?" Namor arched a brow as his eyes began to darken. "Do you have enslaved people to peel them for you?"

"Enslaved what-? No!" Everett panicked under the god king's gaze. "I'm just used to eating chopped fruit from the store. Where employees chop up the fruit and sell it or a business sells pre-chopped fruit... or processed fruit cups...and have you ever been to a grocery store?"

Namor shook his head slowly.

"I need to show you a picture of one or a video. They're really nice. I think you'd like it and-"

"-you're rambling."

His face burned in embarrassment. "Sorry."

The king turned his head before looking to the bartender. "Give me whatever you gave him." He pointed at the empty shot glass.

"Me too." M'Baku raised a hand as the bartender abandoned the cocktail shaker he was shaking.

Everett fumbled with the tangerine as the two men were served their shots of liquor.

M'Baku took it with ease and Namor took it with a low grunt.

Both were better than his suppressed retching and cries for citrus.

It was hard not to feel insecure when sitting between them.

They were attractive.

Big.

Strong.

Revered.

Wise.

And he was....

not.

The two big men watched him struggle in silence until he managed to break the skin of the fruit with his short, blunt nails. He peeled off the peel with skilled fingers before inspecting the naked fruit. He pulled a wedge from the veined sphere and popped it into his mouth before glancing up at the two kings.

They were both watching him intently.

He furrowed his eyebrows after swallowing. "Oh...uh...did you guys...want a slice?" He held another wedge up and glanced between them.

Namor grabbed his wrist and pulled it close before he ate it out of his hand.

Everett could only stare as the king chewed.

"What.... why did you do that...?"

Namor looked at him. "You offered it."

"To place it in your hand."

"It is not an offense to be fed. Is it?"

"Well no... but it's awkward."

M'Baku arched a brow. "You're just sharing food."

"Maybe I'm thinking too hard about it."

"Well feed me. I can make it awkward."

"No! Feed yourself."

"Come on. Don't tell me the little mouse is scared."

"I'm not scared."

"Then feed me."

"I will if you promise not to make it weird."

"Make it weird?"

"No moaning or anything strange."

"You have to earn my moans." M'Baku chuckled. "I do not moan for free."

"Good." Everett exhaled before grabbing another wedge and holding it out to the Jabari king. "Here."

He ate it out of his hand before inspecting his empty shot glass. "Mm. This really cuts the bitterness." He murmured.

"Yeah." Everett fed himself another wedge. "I originally wanted an orange, but a tangerine works pretty well." He fed Namor another before working on pulling another wedge free. "It's better than the cuties and halos I used to grab at the store."

"What are those?" Namor arched a brow as he watched Ross feed M'Baku another wedge.

"Genetically modified fruits. They have soft skin, so that it's easier to peel."

"Oh. Is that why you struggled?" He arched a brow before grabbing his hand to inspect his nails.

"Maybe."

"Your hands are very soft and scar-free." He furrowed his eyebrows as he trailed a thumb over his palm.

"Well, I'm not a warrior. I was a pilot before I became an agent." He shrugged. "We use guns. Not spears."

"Which is why you are weak and fragile."

"Well, if we had vibranium bullets. I think we'd give you a run for your money."

"And that is why I despise the surface world." Namor let go of his hand before asking the bartender for another shot.

"What? Because we don't use spears and fists?!"

"Because you are greedy and destructive."

"Says the man who wants to burn the surface world to ground-"

"-because you are greedy and destructive!"

"Well, riddle me this, what came first? The chicken or the egg!?" Ross frowned as he watched the bartender pour the king another shot.

"God."

"That wasn't an option!"

"But it is true."

Ross puffed his cheeks in frustration as the king downed the shot before taking his last tangerine wedge.

"You're difficult."

"And you're easy."

Ross rolled his eyes. "I don't know how you're drinking that stuff like it's water."

"I like it. It's different." He shrugged before looking at the glass. "I wonder how it's made."

"The Heart of Wakanda is made in the Temple of Bast." M'Baku offered.

"Really?"

"Yeah." M'Baku nodded. "It's made similarly to vodka, where you ferment a grain pulp. But, the dead leaves of the heart-shaped herb are incorporated during fermentation." He looked up to see Namor and Everett listening intently, slightly flustered by his own intellectual gushing. "My cousin oversees the process. That's why I know so much." He offered a small smile.

"Oni?" Everett tilted his head.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Production stopped after Killmonger burned all of our plants, and Oni was cast into exile. So, now that she is back and the plants are flourishing again, we have the Heart of Wakanda back."

"Literally and figuratively." Everett offered as he recalled just how important the vessel of Bast was to the people of Wakanda.

"Mhm." He nodded.

"Does each Tribe of Wakanda have their own special liquor?"

"Kind of." M'Baku smiled. "There are several liquors made here in Wakanda. We have plum wines, other fruit wines, and floral wines. Herbal vodkas." He wiggled his shot glass. "Creamy liquors, which come from the Jabari Lands. There's so much... I couldn't possibly list them all."

"Hm." Everett nodded before looking to the talokanil king. "What about Talokan?"

"We have a variety as well...some from our ancestors and newer ones we've had to cultivate in our new home." He offered a warm smile. "We have one made with fermented maize. One with kelp. And sweeter liquors made from cocoa, chilies, or fruit."

"Really?"

"Yes. We usually go for something thick with heat so that it keeps you warm. Talokan is cold because it is so far below." His eyes seemed to sparkle as he spoke of his kingdom. "But we wash it down with something sweet and creamy so that your mouth isn't burning from the chilies."

"Sounds good."

"I'll have to bring some liquor back next time. It is quite delicious."

"I'll have to bring something from the mountains as well."

Everett nodded before smiling as the bartender slid him three drinks.

"Alright." The man leaned against the counter. "I figured I'd treat you to a little drink tour, since no one's really given you a taste of Wakanda in terms of liquor." He pointed a finger at the first drink. "Here's a plum margarita. They're made with Wakandan grown plums that are gathered by the Temple of Bast. It's sweet, fruity, floral, and refreshing." He hummed before circling a finger over it. "Rimmed with salt and garnished with thyme." He moved his hovering finger over the second drink. "This drink is called the Melon Trifecta. It's named after a popular icee flavor sold here in Wakanda. It features three different melons by layering liquor-based slushies. I think you'll like it. It kinda looks like a rainbow sorbet. But three different melons." He huffed before pointing at the last drink. "This last one is called the First Sunrise of Wakanda. Basically centering around the first sunrise after Bashenga united Wakanda. It's got the Heart of Wakanda in it diluted with fruity syrups of different densities. Creating the perfect ombre." He clapped his hands together. "Enjoy."

"Thanks!" Everett smiled before looking at his drinks with glee. He grabbed the first drink, took a sip, and grinned. "Wow. That's good." He slid it to M'Baku. "Try it."

He took a sip before nodding in approval as he slid it to Namor. "I told you, the plums are phenomenal."

Namor nodded in agreement as he took a sip. "The salt keeps it from being too sweet."

"Yeah." Everett grinned before grabbing the second drink and taking a sip. "Ok. This is the best thing I've ever had in my entire life."

"We need to take you to the icee place in the market area then." M'Baku snorted.

"It doesn't taste like fake fruit or candy. It literally tastes like melons." The American gushed as he took another sip.

"Welcome to Wakanda."

Namor pulled the glass away once he managed to suck half of the drink away through a straw, ignoring the small man's pout.

The king took a sip before nodding and offering it to M'Baku.

He shook his head. "I don't really like melons. They taste like sweet cucumbers."

Everett chuckled. "They don't taste like sweet cucumbers."

"Yes, they do, and that's why I don't eat melons."

"Well, you could try it."

"And still hate it."

"It tastes good to me." He hummed as he plucked his cup from Namor's hand and took a sip.

"Well, let's see if it's better with you." M'Baku grabbed his jaw and pushed his tongue into his mouth.

His tongue was cool and tasted strongly of plums. A tangy sweetness that cut through the sweet and refreshing melon liquor that floated in his mouth.

Before he could swallow, M'Baku robbed him of his drink before breaking the kiss with a soft hum.

Namor caught the cup as he dropped it and took another sip as Ross slowly came back to his senses and smacked at the chuckling king.

"Wha- hey! You drank my drink out of my mouth- and then you kissed me!" His voice went up three octaves as he finished the sentence.

"Maybe I do like melons." He ignored him.

"What!? Wait- really?" He smiled. "See. I told you it was good."

"Mhm."

Namor grabbed him by the jaw. "I want to try it too."

"Huh-"

"Sip."

"What? No. I'm not a shot glass."

Namor sighed and put down the glass before crushing their lips together.

Ross was stunned.

How drunk were they!?

And why wasn't anyone saying anything about them making out at the bar!?

Was this the norm!?

His train of thought was broken as the king's tongue slipped into his mouth.

His face burned as he kissed back shyly.

This wasn't supposed to happen, but he didn't hate it.

The king was even allowing him to pull him closer.

His breath hitched as M'Baku pulled him back by his hair, ending their kiss with a sting that made him moan.

"Look at you." He huffed. "You can't reward him so quickly, Fish man. He must work for it."

Namor scoffed. "Fine. Let's finish these drinks then."

The Jabari king released the silver-haired man. "Alright."

Everett was so red, it wasn't even funny.

But, if they wanted to play.

He could play.

Everett gently plucked the melon trifecta cup from Namor's hand again before finishing the drink. Namor shook his head before watching him grab the third drink.

"Perhaps you should slow down." He offered.

"While sitting with you two? No thanks."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm tired of feeling tense." Everett groaned as he lifted the drink. "I'm trying to get as loose as fucking possible."

"If you wanted to relax, all you had to do was ask." M'Baku chuckled as he sipped on his abandoned plum margarita. "I wouldn't mind helping."

"I literally came to the bar to get away, and the two of you hunted me down anyways." He frowned. "This is as close to a getaway as I'm going to get."

Namor laughed softly. "I think I enjoy your honesty when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk. I'm just a little buzzed."

"What's the difference?"

He twirled a finger in the air. "Shit isn't spinning yet."

Namor hid his smile behind his hand. "Yet."

"I wonder if that'll be too strong for you." M'Baku tilted his head as he examined the third drink. "Most people can't endure more than one shot worth of the Heart of Wakanda."

"Aj K'uk'ulkan did."

"I know you did not just try to compare yourself to the fish man."

"They call it liquid courage for a reason." He smiled. "I can take anything. Maybe I'm super powerful, too."

The two kings watched him take two gulps of the sunrise drink before he had to put his head down in defeat.

That drink had definitely humbled him.

He hadn't really paid it much mind before, but the room was definitely getting hotter the more he drank, and his vision was slowly becoming altered.

Was the world spinning now?

He peeked up before squeezing his eyes shut.

Fuck.

It was.

The room was sweltering hot, and everything kinda had a pinkish purple aura that sparkled too.

Well.

He peeked up again.

Only M'Baku and Namor sparkled.

And why were they staring at him like that?

Were they drunk or buzzed?

Or did they want another kiss?

Fuck.

Why did they look so handsome?

Handsome?

His mind was spinning and fuzzy, almost as if Cupid had stabbed him in the back when he wasn't looking.

Maybe cupid had, because why else would he want to crawl into M'Baku's lap and beg him to see if melons tasted gross if it was in his mouth again?

What other reason could have him eager to snog Namor?

"Oh fuck." He groaned as he felt pants grow tight at the idea.

He needed to calm down.

Maybe get out?

Touch some grass?

Feel the cold air outside of this crowded place.

M'Baku would probably entertain the idea for a good laugh, but Namor would definitely kill him if they went further than drunk kissing.

At the end of the day, he was just an advisor to the Wakandan council who specialized in American politics and the ploys of the outside world.

There could never be anything.

Not even an experimental fling.

His eyes stung with tears at the thought.

This was beginning to feel frustrating.

He was touch starved and in dire need of relief.

But no one would ever give it here.

Shit, he could hardly get anything back in the States since his divorce.

"Damn it." He mumbled as a few tears fell down his face.

"Are you crying?" Namor blinked at the white man.

"No." Everett hid his face as the god king tried to catch a peek.

"So you're an emotional drunk?" M'Baku chuckled.

"No."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I doon't want to taaalk abouut it." He huffed.

"That acted faster on you than I thought it would." The Jabari king rubbed his back before finishing off the margarita. "Hang in there, little mouse."

"Fuck you. I'm perfectly fine."

"Don't be rude. You are sitting amongst kings." Namor yanked his head up by his hair. "Even if you're drunk, you should act respectfully."

The sting up his hair being pulled was delightful, pulling a soft moan from his lips before he smacked away his hand.

"Don't touch me."

"You moaned." He stated as he looked him over.

"Yeah. Well. Everything looks pink and sparkly, and I'm a little buzzed." Ross huffed. "So, it didn't mean anything. Just like those tipsy ass kisses."

"I told you." M'Baku chuckled. "You're a little mouse. You can't hold liquor well."

"I caaaaannnn." He huffed as he tried to fix his hair. "Wakandan liquor is strooong, but at least I'm nooot nauseous."

"Your face is all pink." Namor pointed out. "And your words are starting to slur. I wasn't aware you had such a filthy mouth."

"It's always beeeeeen filthy. I just keeeeeep it clean around you because you're scary and yoooou can't take a fucking joke."

M'Baku laughed. "He's not wrong."

"He's not wrong until I'm dragging his drunk ass out of here and putting his mouth to use."

"I'm just a little buzzed." He groaned as the god king grabbed his jaw and looked him over. "Stop saaaaying I'm drunk."

"What's my name, little mouse?"

"Aj K'-" Everett didn't get past the first K without his tongue struggling to form the rest of the sounds to complete it.

Fuck.

Why was the Heart of Wakanda so strong?

And why was K'uk'ulkan touching him again?

"Stop fucking touching me, damn it."

He smacked the king's touch away with a frown before shivering under his darkening gaze.

That shiver made Namor chuckle as he got up and downed the rest of his sunrise drink before licking his lips. "Let's take you out for some fresh air."

"Noooooo. I'm fine. Seeee?"

Everett got up, and Everett fell down with a hard thud.

M'Baku couldn't refrain from laughing as he got up and scooped the drunk man off the floor. "You are not fine."

"I'm fiiiiine. Put me down, you big beefy bitch."

"Oh, that mouth of yours is more fun than I realized." M'Baku smacked his ass as he began to carry the tipsy man out of the establishment with Namor not too far behind.

"It bites too."

Namor laughed. "Good."

And Scene!

So, that's kinda what I've been imagining. But it could definitely become more explicit... if I wrote more. What are y'all thinking?!? Is this deserving of more?!? or...? 👀

[drunkpilot]

Iceland: Love Under the Northern Lights

Iceland If you’re looking for a destination that will spark your passion and ignite your love, look no further than Iceland. With its breathtaking landscape, magical Northern Lights, and unique culture, Iceland is the perfect place to escape with your special someone and create amazing memories. Here’s a guide to the most romantic escapades in Iceland. Love at First Flight: Chartering the Skies…

[babygirlcowboy]

What being emo in middle school does to a mfer

[rubbish78]

“How’s the love life?”

Pfff bitch I haven’t had a love life since 2017

[lezbianz]

disjecta membra is the best car seat headrest album. frankly.

[new-haven-psych-ward]

sometimes I'll think I'm normal and then I'll walk under a bridge and look at this mini tunnel and go, "this looks a lot like where Eliot and Hardison got jumped by a gang until the leader realized one of his guys beat up a priest so the leader was all 'you can go' and Eliot handed the man his gun back with full knowledge of what was gonna happen"

and that's not what normal people think when they walk under a tunnel bridge

[lesbianlothcats]

It’s been a whole week and still no one else noticed Juno Eclipse in the credits of Mandalorian, stop sleeping on the OG Imperial defector and learn your Star Wars herstory 😤😤😤

LOOK AT HER

[warmglowofsurvival]

tyler_phone (2/3)