#drop the motor
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From the work bench, or, I didn't sign up to become a bicycle electrician. Summer 2024.
#bike shop life#bike mechanic#bicycle mechanic#bike wrench#mechanic#fix stuff#i work with my hands#e bike#e bikes#specialized vado#e bike motor#seattle#shimano i spec b#shimano slx#10 speed mtb#used parts#problem solving#t25#4mm hex#drop the motor#photography#bike photoraphy#cell phone photos#iphone photos
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stu in edinburgh, 2024 europe tour. pencil and ballpoint pen on paper.
#reference photos by ME cos i was THERE BABEY#seeing him run out in that kilt was truly the jaw drop moment of all time#ugh greatest show of all time they played magma lord of lightning hell motor spirit flamethrower gaia mind fuzz UGH AAAUGHH#take me BACK bro#who remembers date with me scottish mate....... aaanyway#king gizzard & the lizard wizard#king gizzard#kgatlw#kglw#stu mackenzie#fan art#my art#art#king gizzard fanart#my posts
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i rlly dont think they can beat the married allegations folks.
#“continues to stroke the hair of his partner” 🌈?#its giving#omfg the girls r showing signs of marriage on this fine early morning (why am i acting like this match just dropped LMFAO)#UGH I LOVE THEM <33#zari watches mcmg! 🦇#mcmg#motor city machine guns#chris sabin#alex shelley
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Loki who can hold the Tesseract not because it has no effect on him but because the pain receptors in his fingers/hands have long since fizzled out
#Thor goes to grab the Tesseract from his bro and drops it like a Tom and Jerry goon cat hot potato like YEOWCH!!!#fumbles it fr#might’ve dropped it on the floor#Loki stands there looking at Thor like he’s angry but also like he’s going to cry#Thor cannot be intimidated into grabbing the death cube again#let him get some gloves or a grabby pincer or something first#Loki who does magic through his hands and that has sort of damaged them a little#maybe he’s got some motor issues with them sometimes bc of the damage too#Loki running drained of magic and his fingers don’t move when he wants and spasm when he’s not trying to move
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I performed my first ever DIY nail surgery on a broken nail because I refused to shorten it down after I shaped them all so nicely, and I must have done a better job than I thought cause accidentally hitting that nail in ways that SHOULD by all means have tore it off barely made a slight dent in the crack.......
#i am quite literally hinging this endeavour on some glue and a dream#and before anyone tells me to be less clumsy i cant i was not built for grace and elegance in the motor skills and movement department#hoping that this will last long enough for the nail to grow out to the point of it not getting so short i cant file them comfortably#i dont wanna shorten down the rest as well but..... uneven nail length... no......#silvi talks#also why is it always the middle finger. the last one i broke finally grew out only for the other to break too#LMAOOOO#and both broke!!!! because of the same soft cushion kitchen chair!!! thats like dropping your phone on the bed from a low height#only for it to shatter and break!!!#smh
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Not to whine but I have literally 3 of my migraine triggers all throwing hands at me this morning (period, allergies, storms) and I'm so dizzy and all I wanna do is WRITE but my brain cannot think past "the" right now ugh
Like if I could describe what it feels like being in the throws of a migraine or like pre-migraine it's like someone dragging a sheet over your brain and trying to turn the lights off but you're still very much here. You just feel like you're floating and nothing feels real lmao
#neech's speeches#i hate it i just wanna write#tbf i have migraine with aura#so the dizziness i have rn is kind of like my aura#also the floaty detached feeling#i should have known i was gonna get a migraine because i kept dropping shit yesterday#i have interruptions in my motor functions prior to migraine attacks too#probably due to the beginnings of nerve irritation ughhhhh#i kept tripping too which probably should have told me
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I messed up towards the end bcuz I lost track of which side I was come from so it ended more rope stitch but the first half of this turned out okayish for my first attempt ñsñdkdlsñdk. If I get a chance I might do some more practicing tomorrow bcuz I do like the look of the braid stitch :)
#was taking mathosapa’s flatwork class. I had to drop off a bit early but I’m very excited to do some more practicing and trying out#I was also having to fight back dogs from my dinner during the beading so maybe trying somewhere mor e peaceful will help lmao#I don’t have the fine motor skills I used to have but maybe this will give me a chance to work on that
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realizing that it sounds kind of mean for me to be referring to this fic as the “cringe loser” fic if you don’t have the extensive lexicon i’ve created in my head for the lengthy opinion essay i haven’t written about how most people don’t actually want “good” autist-rep, they want “cool” rep even at the expense of ‘accuracy’. just believe me i say “cringe loser” with the highest degree of absolute affection
#N posts stuff#brief overview is: abed is generally one of the only characters i see lauded as Good rep#but there’s no way to quantify his representation in a way that successfully singles him out in the convo#ie; people claim it’s Good bc Harmon is autistic — doesn’t hold up bc post-music sia now touts a diagnosis#so either you think she’s lying for obscure internet clout OR having an autisticwriter in the room isn’t The Thing that makes it work#‘if they would hire autisticactors tho’ but that doesn’t hold up either bc abed is portrayed by an allistic man#and when that MH cartoon with the autistic character dropped people immediately started mocking the voice acting#even tho she was played by an autistic actress. so that also doesn’t hold up#so what differentiates abed?#shaun murphy is ‘cringe’ bc he talks weird and has meltdowns#and wendy please stand by is ‘bad’ bc she lives in a group home#and attorney woo is ‘embarrassing’ bc she has motor skill issues and makes odd facial expressions#and the MH girl is ‘childish’ bc she talks weird#etcetera and so on. so why is abed different? i don’t know if his portrayal Is significantly different#i think he just ‘looks cooler’ than these other characters so people like him more#the deficits he has are usually throwaway jokes instead of things that are given narrative weight. so you can ignore them if you want#and if you wanted to argue that the Narrative of the show is what makes a difference then i would also disagree with you#bc abed is pretty extensively mocked in the show. a lot of his autistic traits are just the punchlines of jokes about his characters#(i mean every character on the show is so at least abed isn’t single out but i wouldn’t exactly call it Respectful)#and if you argue that it’s good bc it’s ‘unintentional’ bc harmon didn’t know he was autistic at the time#then i’d point out that abed is made the punchline of an autism joke within his first five minutes on screen#so they knew Enough about what they were doing to make him the joke. so i don’t believe that holds water either#anyway the argument doesn’t cumulate in the opinion that any of these shows are definitively Good Rep#bc the notion of Good Rep is so shakily defined that it’s hard to quantify and also a lot of the examples i chose aren’t like#‘good’ narratively even if i like the characters so im not arguing that they’re better or worse than community or whatever#it really is just an argument about people wanting things to look ‘cool’ more than they want it ‘real’#and that’s why you see autistic influencers literally bullied off social media by other autistic people for acting ‘cringe’ by.. stimming#and that’s it. bc they didn’t look Cool Enough when they did it#so i think we desperately need to embrace Cringe Losers bc i think the Cool factor is a bad one to measure by
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gi;rls when the autism is severe and disabling and they didnt just get the quirky fandom disorder or something
#this is abt being high support needs#NOT. intended as a diss or like invalidation of ppl with lower support needs 2 clarify but more#about the way autism has been dressed up pretty for media you get it#I KEEP DROPPING EVERYTHINGG and im having trouble with shoes lately :o[#i really need to get some of those pop on or all around zipper shoes#bc my motor skills have only gotten worse and tying things is getting difficult#meow.txt
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Drowning out my feelings with Dr. Pepper, falling back in love with Silence is Golden But Consequences Are Red, and thoughts of Mother Hen Wolf Shifter!Ghost
*rant in the tags if y'all want*
#i have been having entirely too many feelings lately#and not a time nor place to cope#I have been having far too many conversations about the future and it's starting to make me freak out#this aquarium trip was supposed to help me answer the questions I had about what schooling/degree I would need to be an aquarist#all it did though was make me realize that being an aquarist may not actually be right for me#which now means I don't know what I would be going back to school for#which sucks absolute ass because I miss being a student. I miss that freedom and I miss learning#i miss being a college student so badly actually and I honestly regret dropping out. Like I did before but now#I always told myself it was for the best cause it's better than failing a semester and tanking my GPA#but now I've been stuck in this horrible depressive cycle and feeling so fucking burntout I can barely function half the time#now I don't have any time or energy to do things I love let alone do some self learning#I currently don't see any point in going back to school cause I don't even know what I would go back for and it's fucking scary#all of my siblings have had major things happen and are progressing on with their lives#and like I get i'm barely even in my twenties and I shouldn't be panicking this badly about my life#I feel like half of my troubles are self inflicted even though they're really truly not#but I can't help but feel I've doomed myself and my motor functioning is worsening#my executive functioning is down the fucking toilet and I can't fucking fix it and it's upsetting me#but god i just had a birthday this past week and about three years ago when I started college#I really believed I'd be in a much different place at this age than I am now#and it's scary it's fucking terrifying and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and all I am doing is spiraling really badly
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Though I recognize their kantoku, I don't remember Sakurazawa from when I watched the anime forever ago, but reading the manga now, I fell in love with them. I'm waaay out of practice and also I've never drawn any sort of baseball mitt before, but I just had to try drawing Akira. I want a manga about them tbh (time to go look for fic)
#daiya no ace#nagao akira#dna#ace of diamond#ダイヤのa#長緒アキラ#ebw.op#drawing#pencil#i might still write by hand a bit but i don't draw anymore#so i feel like my fine motor skills have dropped again#and i knowww drawing more will pry increase them again which will make it easier to draw#but my hand not moving the way i want it means drawings don't turn out the way i want them to#which means i don't want to draw!#it's a negative feedback loop#i hate it
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after the omega shield incident, lance suffers from sporadic tremors. a lot of the time it’s his arms/hands that shake but sometimes it’s his legs/feet which knock him off his ass for a good portion of the day. on the days it’s less severe he can get around w some stumbling, other times he’ll use a cane. he hates it and tries to power thru it but keith, shiro, and coran all force him to take it easy
#shiro Knows what it’s like#he was the first to notice it#keith followed like right behind#then coran#keith semi knows what it’s like from living w shiro for years#and since he cares (cough loves cough) about lance he uses the same techniques adam used on shiro to get him to chill out a bit#forcing lance to hang out w him all day and pushing to do relaxing activities#like watching movies or stargazing (making a little fort thing on the bridge to gaze out the huge window at the plethora of stars)#he avoids activities that require fine motor skills#like putting on masks or painting their nails#coran noticed bc he notices like everything and since he’s like a father/uncle figure to lance (cough his favorite cough)#he subtly pushes for lance to come to him for help yk? drops hints and mentions medicines or excersices that could help etc etc#lance mcclain#keith kogane#takashi shirogane#coran#vld#voltron#voltron legendary defenders#disabled lance#hc#head canon#headcanon#when lance gets shocked it can induce tremors so he tries to avoid touching anything that conducts electricity#bc after it happened a lot of the electricity kinda resided in him#so he’s sorta like thor#or zeus#if u touch him odds are he’ll shock u#klance#langst
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I'm just so fucking tired of it all
#vent#abuse mention#it IS the blow motor that's fucked and dad says it'd be a super hard day long job to do it yourself#i'm just so fucking pissed because 'oh we couldn't help you with your electric bill* because we had to drop 1000 for your sister's new car'#*last week#and i don't want to sound like an ungrateful bitch but 'oh your ac's broken? let me point you at a guy who can do it for like 300'#hello???#i'm not asking my parents to shell out for me or anything but every fucking time i call them it's like#'oh we had to buy your sister a new car battery'#'oh we had to get your sister's bumper replaced'#'oh we had to pay your sister's rent'#this is the sister that's just the meanest rudest bitch you'll ever meet by the way#the one who was my OTHER abuser (physically and psychologically)#the one that claims that i was the favorite child and she was the poor little sole abuse victim#yeah i was the favorite. the favorite to get the shit beat out of me and told i was the oldest so i had to be The Most Perfect™ or else#i'm not saying you didn't get abused but don't you dare fucking come at me saying that you had it worse than me#abuse is abuse but boy howdy if there isn't some favoritism at play going on NOW#fuck out of here with that shit i see how it is#what fucking ever#also i had to just disassociate through an entire paranoid psychosis rant from my mother talking about how my dad's ex's husband#is going to fly down from Illinois to kill them both specifically because my dad talked to a guy who knows them and asked how they were#so i'm feeling great
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i think aja has 200000000 hobbies because she cant ever sleep and shes frustratingly mediocre at all of them
#ive just been haunted lately by the image of her up late at night embroidering and she keeps dropping the needle and getting really pissed#idk ive really been feeling the poor fine motor control agonies lately i need to put it somewhere
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#Tripod Turnstile#Solenoid#Qr Scan Reader#Turnstile Motor#Drop Arm Barrier#Flap Barrier Gate#Lpr Camera Ip Anpr#3meters Tire Killer#Outdoor Power Supply#Full Height Turnstile
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I'm like. actively being abused at home. What do I even do about that.
#://#Today she said I am disgusting and unapproachable and will never have friends or find love because I make everyone I meet uncomfortable#Because I don't shave my legs#When I told her I keep blacking out from my chronic pain she said 'that's a little dramatic'#When I told her I should probably go to the hospital for that she shushed me because she was trying to watch her fuckin. Fringe show#Always with the shushing. Every time I speak :((#She said I should go out & do something and quit being so lazy. So i said I would ride my bike but the tire is flat#She said 'why are you so useless' :((#When I was projectile vomiting for three days I told her I had a 104°F temperature and she said 'darn'#I asked if she wanted to watch Ponyo with me and she said 'oh my god I don't want to watch your stupid crap shit'#When I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up (agony for chronic pain btw) she felt where it was still sticky and said#I'm so stupid and it's my fault we have ants (we do not have ants)#So I said 'yeah mommy I think my fine motor skills are getting worse I can't hold things or swallow very well'#She said 'have you tried paying attention??' :((((#I told her I had a sunburn and it hurt and she said 'youre so needy'#I got beat up in middle school and I was crying about it and she said it was all my fault because I was annoying#I was also sexually assaulted that same week but after the way she responded to that I was not going to tell her#One time when we were at the doctor and checked yes for suicidal thoughts she started screaming and crying#About how much we hate her and think she is a bad mother and how ungrateful we are#If I read this list to her she would say I was making it up and trying to make her look like a bad evil person#Because she is!!! She insults and belittles me so much I genuinely wish she would just beat my ass instead#I'm 20 years old why are you talking to me this way#I know it's all verbal abuse but. I'm so fucking miserable I want to die living here#Oh wait one time she strangled my little sibling because they complained about finding blood in their can of tuna
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