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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 2 months ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: Top 100 Movies #50 - #26

Finally, we're in the top 50! These next movies are ones I have a little bit more to say about than the previous entries, though the real big fish to fry will be in the final stretch.

50. Cats

Bad movies like this don’t come around very often. Nearly every aspect of this movie is hilariously misguided to the point of insanity, with the special effects in particular turning what should be a campy romp into a bizarre fever dream. But this is precisely what draws me to the film! The flashes of greatness in the back half of the movie, particularly the genuinely great Skimbleshanks scene, really come together to create one of the most endearingly batshit experiences you could ever sit through.

49. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

A movie that ruined an entire generation of women or something, this is a just a perfectly stylish action comedy with one of the most absurdly talented casts around. It's a fun, silly little live action comic book romp that manages to make great use of Michael Cera.

48. Eraserhead

Now this is the David Lynch we all know and love! This is one of the trippiest, weirdest movies ever made, and it has one of the greatest effects ever in the baby. I fucking love that baby. It is one of the most digustingly cute creatures ever conceived.

47. Hot Fuzz

Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead is the far more popular of his genre parodies, but if I’m being totally honest Hot Fuzz is by far the superior film. It’s just funnier, fresher, and more exciting. It also has actual antagonists and some really great and memorable lines, plus it loves Point Break and, of all movies, Bad Boys II.

46. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Somehow, by some miracle, Disney managed to make a theme park ride featuring pirates (legendary box office poison) and make it into the most fun, exhilarating action adventure films of the 2000s. I think the bonkers premise combined with playful conviction from the entire cast is what really manages to sell this movie, but I must sadly give credit where credit is due: pre-dickhead era Johnny Depp, back when he was actually a good actor and not someone cast out of pity, brought the swaggering rock star pirate Jack Sparrow to life in glorious fashion, and manages to steal every scene he’s in. The only thing that could possibly make it better is if greatest character in the whole franchise Davy Jones was in this one, but they had to save something for the sequel.

45. It

While the miniseries starring Tim Curry as Pennywise has its charm, it is hampered by the restraints of television and its budget. With more money, we got a bigger, bloodier, gorier, and more impressive take on the iconic King novel, one that might be my favorite movie based on one of his works. The new, more horrifying and predatory take on Pennywise is certainly a big plus, but I think credit also has to be given to a young Sophia Lillis showcasing her acting chops early and Finn Wolfhard before he stopped giving a shit, as well as the rest of the kid cast. The Loser Club is the heart and soul of the story, and thankfully it’s the thing this movie nails… and it’s sadly where part two drops the ball a little bit. Grown ass adults in a secret club fighting an evil clown isn’t as cool as kids doing it, no matter how great it is to see James McAvoy and Bill Hader.

44. Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Speaking of movies where the sequel just couldn’t measure up…! This is one of Tarantino’s finest works, and certainly the one that most feels like the kind of movies that inspire him. There’s blood, ore, women going on a vengeful rampage… It really is a classic grindhouse movie with more polish. Uma Thurman truly kills it (along with scores of mooks) as Beatrix Ki—Er, I mean “The Bride.”

43. Predator

One of the manliest action films ever made, and also one of the greatest halfway plot switches of all time. You think you’re getting a simple macho 80s action film, and then halfway through, BAM! It’s a slasher movie and the macho men are the prey for a terrifying killer. Our final girl Arnold Schwarzenegger only wins by embracing those macho tropes and adapting them to a new foe. I think it’s a film where you can read it on the most surface level imaginable and deeply analyze it and still come to the exact same conclusion either way: This movie fucking rules.

42. The Batman

Live action Batman movies have been good, but too many of them miss core aspects of what makes Batman, well, Batman. Even the best ones like The Dark Knight, Batman Returns, or even Batman & Robin miss a few aspects and, while great films in their own right, just don’t feel like the definitive Batman. Then one half of the dudes behind Felicity took a crack at it and boy does he get it. This is what Batman should be. There’s detective work, there’s action, there’s car chases and gadgets, and most fascinatingly it’s an origin story but not in the way you think; rather than him becoming Batman, it’s him learning to become a symbol of hope instead of a symbol of fear. Robert Patinson proves he is one of the greatest talents of his age, and Paul Dano brings a deranged campiness to his Riddler that helps keep things comic booky even in a realm of grounded realness. And then there’s Colin Farrell’s Penguin, who is so good he got his own spin off show. It has never been a better time for Batman fans when it comes to cinema; we are eating good.

41. Guardians of the Galaxy

I was a bit skeptical at this film when I sat down to watch it. I mean, these were heroes I’d never heard of headlining a Marvel film when they seemed to be hitting their stride. Then the film opened with a crushing emotional moment, and then it goes into the opening credits as Chris Pratt dances like a goober to “Come and Get Your Love.” It all clicked for me, and it only got better from there as it morphed into the greatest “group of assholes become a found family” I ever saw at the time. I do think it’s the weakest of the trilogy now; Ronan is not a compelling villain and aside from that Redbone tune that opens the movie, the soundtrack kind of sucks (“Cherry Bomb?” Fucking seriously?). But when it comes to the Guardians, “weakest” is still “one of the best goddamn sci-fi action films you’ll ever watch.” It’s nice getting a reminder Chris Pratt is actually a good actor at any rate.

40. Raiders of the Lost Ark

I think even I can concede that The Last Crusade is objectively the best Indy film. I mean, it has Sean Connery in it, after all. But sometimes you just gotta let your nostalgia take the wheel, and when it does it tells me this one deserves the higher spot. No mattter what Sheldon Cooper says, this is one of the best and most thrilling pulp action movies ever made, and one of Spielberg’s finest blockbusters. If nothing else, it definitely has the best opening and arguably the best climax of the whole series. And maybe this is a hot take unless you’re Harrison Ford himself, but Indy > Han Solo.

39. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

It’s honestly amazing how this movie got me to give a shit about so many characters I wouldn’t ever have really thought about much otherwise. Miles Morales went from a cool footnote to one of my favorite Spider-Men, Gwen Stacy went from the dead love interest to a cool and alive love interest, Kingpin went from the best mob boss villain in comic books to the best mob boss villain in comic book movies… and that’s not even getting into how creatively this film uses the multiverse and the concept of variants. It’s really no big surprise just about every superhero movie in the coming years tried to crib its style.

38. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

This movie is ass-numbingly long, especially if you’re watching the extended version (and I always do—weird bits that kind of rob suspense aside the death of Sauruman, the Mouth of Sauron, and Harvey Weinstein orc getting killed are too good to pass up) and it has about a dozen endings, but you can’t really say any of it is unearned considering what came before it. This is truly an amazing capstone to the most epic fantasy trilogy ever made, and not once in that monstrous runtime does it ever feel like any time is wasted.

37. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This is the Western, and easily Clint Eastwood’s greatest performance ever. But despite how unflinchingly cool and badass he is, and despite how terrifying Lee Van Cleef is as the villain, it is Eli Wallach as the titular “ugly,” an all-too human lout, who manages to be the most fascinating character in the story. The final showdown is one of the greatest in all of cinema, and the Ennio Morricone score is iconic. If you only ever watch one Western in your life, make it this one.

36. The Prestige

Christopher Nolan may not know how to write women, but he sure knows how to take a batshit premise and deliver on it. This film about dueling magicians takes at least a half dozen turns, each crazier than the last, and makes rewatches oh so rewarding. Plus, David Bowie plays Tesla. That’s fucking rad.

35. Oldboy

When a film starts off with a man eating a live octopus onscreen, you know you’re in for something special. This might be one of the greatest “revenge really fucking sucks” stories ever made and one of the greatest downer endings of all time. The twist is genuinely a curveball of epic proportions, and the villain is one of the most heinous yet sympathetic you could ever hope to see. It’s a damn good movie that definitely should never be remade with Marvel actors.

34. Fight Club

I get you’re not supposed to talk about this one, but it’s hard not to considering how liking this movie can easily be misconstrued as being an endorsement of cult-like anarchism and chud ideologies. I like this movie because of its critiques of capitalism as well as its examination of the kind of guy Tyler Durden is, and also because this movie is super fucking gay. It also has Jared Leto getting his face caved in by Ed Norton. Literally every aspect of this movie is ridiculously appealing.

33. The Room

I fucking love bad movies, and this? This is the Citizen Kane of bad movies. Tommy Wiseau’s magnum opus is the sort of bad movie that comes along only once in a generation, something so spectacularly bad it must be seen to be believed. Hell, the reason I love Cats so much is it somehow manages to capture the absurd insanity of this film with a bigger budget, but this one is still better because rather than being an adaptation it is the singular vision of an egotistical blowhard who thought he was making great art. And you know what? He was right. This is the pinnacle of “so bad, it’s good.”

32. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

And you thought I was insane for preferring Glass Onion over Knives Out! Well, look here! I like the sequel so many “genius” animation critics derided as “incomplete” or “half a story.” I’m not the brightest guy on the planet, but even I understand the concept of cliffhangers and dark endings that set up future storylines; it’s like these people have never seen The Empire Strikes Back, which this is very much in the vein of. I think for me while the original film has a better and more focused story and a more interesting villain with Kingpin, the scope and the more impressive work done with the animation elevate this one above the first film in my mind.

31. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

A Guardians of the Galaxy clone based on a TTRPG that has famously had bad luck with adaptations and starring a cast of absurdly famous people you wouldn’t expect to give a damn about telling a compelling story in this setting… Truly, this was a disaster waiting to happen. But that’s just it: It didn’t happen. This is the best fantasy film we’ve gotten in ages, and a movie that is faithful to the concept of D&D. What I mean is that while it’s not literally adapting a specific storyline, it very much feels like the average campaign, to the point you can basically see where each character nat 20s and where they crit fail. You can see where the DM is like “fuck it” and has them conveniently solve a puzzle, and where they sat back and let the party fuck around. This movie gets D&D, and the entire cast is a blast to watch and they have great chemistry. We need more of these films, dammit!

30. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Speaking of movies it was easy to write off before seeing, here’s a sequel to a mediocre Shrek shrek spinoff made years after that franchise went dormant. But the movie is so fresh, funny, and vibrant it’s like that Shrek spirit was never gone. Puss is as fun as he’s always been, and the movie manages to tackle his insecurities and grappling with his own mortality with surprising grace for a family comedy film. It also has three of the most fantastic antagonists in Dreamworks history with the anti-villain Goldilocks, the relentless force of nature that is the Wolf, and the hilarious card-carrying villain Big Jack Horner. Truly, this franchise isn’t ogre yet.

29. Aladdin

For the longest time I called this my favorite Disney movie, and how could I not? Robin Williams and Gilbert Gottfried turn in some of the best and funniest performances of their careers here! The songs are absolutely fantastic! Aladdin is a great male lead and Jasmine is a really fun and compelling princess! It got a live action remake that’s actually decent and watchable! And, well, it’s obviously still pretty damn high up there. I’ve just come to realize there’s a couple Disney films I like a little better than this after all.

28. Seven Samurai

This is basically the birthplace of modern action movies, with tropes typical of the genre put on display for the first time and unbuilt at their conception. There’s a lot of commenatry on class and the nature of samurai, ridiculous feats of badassery, and one of the most poignant bittersweet endings imaginable. There’s a reason so many other films across the years have aped this one’s premise.

27. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

James Cameron’s magnum opus, and an action film that redefines cinematic action. It’s just a damn good film with stunning action, but I think there’s a few things that need to be addressed here. For one, as much as people love hyping up Sarah Connor as some feminist ideal or “one of the good ones” when it comes to female characters, she’s kind of a shitty person for most of the runtime, only regaining her humanity and her right to call herself John’s mother with the help of the T-800. And speaking of him, Schwarzenegger truly shows off his genuinely incredible acting chops, between his comedic attempts to emote and his delivery of the most tearjerking thumbs up in all of cinema. And then, finally, there’s Robert Patrick as the T-1000, easily one of the coolest and most intimidating villains in sci-fi, which is all the more impressive since he is scary and a believable menace when going up against a mountain of a man like Schwarzenegger.

26. Nope

In my opinion Jordan Peele has gone three for three with fantastic films, and this one is not only no exception, it’s my favorite he’s made so far. Such a wacky premise delivered in an impressive way, a truly breathtaking monster design, and two of the most unnerving scenes in recent horror history, Peele manages to cement his place as a modern master of his craft.

#michael in the mainstream #list

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olderthannetfic · 1 year ago

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I don't know how many people kept up with this, but if you're on the internet you probably know about it, but there's a new Sam Levinson TV series that has been bothering a lot of people. It's called The Idol, and features Johnny Depp's daughter and The Weeknd, the former being this super popular singer and the latter as the cult leader who brainwashes Lily Rose into doing humiliating sex stuff with him with the excuse that it'll make her better at her job.

Now… the existence of this show bothers me a lot, and I know I'm not the only one, but while I can't attest to what others think regarding fiction, I know that I'm absolutely not one of those people who think that any depiction of sexual assault should be banned, or that kink has no place on TV, or that all sex scenes must advance the plot.

There's just something, in how those shows and movies are set up, that makes it all feel so exploitative and horrible in a way that, in fics, never seems to be.

Like... I'm a huge fan of Miss_Lv, who is definitely a "dead dove" author, and yet there's just something that makes me want to throw up at the idea that Sam Levinson shot a scene in which a bunch of guys (or maybe it was just The Weeknd, idk) come on Lily Rose's face and The Weeknd posts a pic of it on Twitter and makes it go viral with the tag #humancumsock.

I guess it's because it's acted out by real people, and there's a huge difference between "I'm imagining all of these characters doing these things in my head" and "These characters are played by actual people," but the amount of disgust the idea of seeing The Weeknd push an egg in Lily Rose's vagina and tell her that, if she cracks/drops it, he's not going to rape her is almost inexpressible while, if a fandom friend pitched me with this idea, I would simply reply with "That stuff makes no sense, but ok, I guess. Just good luck finding the tag for it."

My other best idea, as to why this whole series disgusts me so much, is that PR made Lily Rose go around interviews saying that she felt so empowered by the series, which is the usual crap that is pasted and copied from woman to woman whenever they act in a series in which their role is that of personality void human flashlight and doesn't really mean anything at all. It's that, and the fact that the series was supposed to be a feminist view on the world of celebritydom and Hollywood, but then the female director was fired in favor of hiring Levinson because The Weeknd threw a tantrum about the show being too focused on the female aspect of the question, rather than putting the spotlight on him.

I don't know, I feel like I'm the only one who's been conflicted about this series (which I have no intention of watching legally nor by pirating it, because it disgusts me to the bone) and wanted to know if someone else thought the same, or if there was no moral/interior conflict upon reading all the articles written by the exploitation of the female cast and how rape is depicted.

I hadn't even heard about it. I guess I haven't been watching much TV lately.

I think a lot of sexually transgressive media is made by people who, frankly, don't know how to execute something like that in a safe or self-aware way. You definitely do see examples where the actors say they were cool with it and I believe them, but the ones I can recall have mostly been indie movies or stuff from Europe with very different production dynamics.

I met a lady in L.A. who works as a... man, I can't even remember the term, but she's the person on set who works with the actors before a sex scene to figure out their limits and be a buffer between them and the director. For indie films, the usual procedure is to kick 99% of the crew off the set so the actors only have to deal with each other, the director, and the camera person.

I think live action media about weird sex stuff is harder to do safely and ethically than a written work is, but it can be done. That doesn't mean they did a good job in this case though.

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alexturner · 1 year ago

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johnny depp drop fucking dead challenge

#can't look at anything cannes related without seeing his face or reading his lies #personal posts

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 9 months ago

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Apparently, there is some hubbub going on over a newly announced spin-off of the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN movie franchise that Disney is planning to go forward with. One of two, actually. There was another project that was set to star Margot Robbie as the lead, but it appears that Disney is more interested in another take on the classic Disney parks ride starring Ayo Edebiri.

And of course, the usual suspects, including the wannabe-edgelord dingus running what was once "Twitter", are complaining. They're big mad that Ayo, a Black American actress, is "replacing" Depp... Never mind that this movie is a FUCKING SPIN-OFF???

Also... All of a sudden, people *love* the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN sequels now?

I was a teenager when most of the PIRATES sequels came out, and I remember them getting rather duff critical reception. Audiences kinda didn't stick around for them, either. They all opened huge, DEAD MAN'S CHEST with a record-breaking number at the time of its release (2006), but then dropped off and had blah multipliers. The 4th film, ON STRANGER TIDES, came out when I was 18. And I just remember it coming and going, whatever. And then the fifth one, again... Just a sort of "ugh, another one?" reaction. That fifth film, titled DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES in the U.S. (SALAZAR'S REVENGE, elsewhere), just did alright. Like, near-$800m is a great amount for any movie, but it was less than the other POTC sequels.

It wasn't a problem when other big movie franchises got reboots with all-new casts. Spider-Man has been played by like three different actors in live-action over the past three decades.

I guess enough time has passed for there to be this kind of intense nostalgia for these movies. That's cool, I guess. After all, filmtwitter never shuts the fuck up about the CGI on Davy Jones, and how the first three movies are Gore's through-and-through.

As for all this clinging to Depp's iconic Captain Jack Sparrow... As if it isn't PIRATES without him?

Pal... PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, the original dark ride attraction, opened at Disneyland in 1967. Depp was about FOUR YEARS OLD when it opened. PIRATES existed long before he had a career or had some kind of prominence in the world, m'kay? PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN is more than just one single actor. And hey, why is it just him and not director Gore Verbinski? Writers Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio? Producer Jerry Bruckheimer? They all made that first movie happen, too, ya know.

My MAJOR concern with any new Pirates movie is whether it'll be its own beast or not. I feel a lot of live-action Disney movies as of late are not directed by anyone, they're made for the directors before they get to them. The director is hired, given a template that's already ready-made for them, and then BOOM movie done. Basically the MCU way of doing it. That's kinda how it feels to me. Same studio that won't make a third TRON movie from the previous film's director and the cast (which consists of the guy who directed massive blockbuster TOP GUN: MAVERICK and an actor who lead the massive blockbuster OPPENHEIMER, Disney do you hate money or something???), instead opting for Jared Leto. Like... Make it make sense.

So, if this Ayo-lead PIRATES spin-off goes through, I look forward to it! Pirates are cool, there's still a lot to play with regarding this concept, the ride is iconic. Just... Disney... Get a really good director and let them do their thing, alright? It'll be an all-timer if you do.

My ideal PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN would be animated. With designs based on Marc Davis' exemplary concept art and resembling a 1960s Xerox-era Disney film, like a high seas JUNGLE BOOK or something incorporating the original 1967-era music of the ride. That's what I would make, although I don't know if the public would fly out in droves to watch that, lol.

Anyways, I wanted to rant. People are being silly about a fucking pirate movie franchise.

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sabbathbloodysabbeth · 1 year ago

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I know it’s WIP Wednesday! And I have some asks that I have to answer from last week 😭 I got so distracted with my bang fic and now this new werewolf fic that I started. Ahhhh I’ll try doing some of the asks but my brain is in one spot right now Lmao. So I’ll just show you guys a small snippet of what I’m currently working on for the day!

Snippet from my upcoming story “Bark At The Moon”

"Chris, I think you need to cut back on 'The Last Of Us', It might be getting to your head because I will not die from foot fungus." He laughs gently, a small snort leaving him before he turns his head to look back forward. Carefully nodding his head in acknowledgement to a group of kids that he recognized from school. Wincing as his feet lands back onto dry pavement, causing him to bounce a little bit again, hearing the slight laughter from a couple of people around him.

"Athletes foot existed way before that show started to air Munson," Chrissy snorts out as she moves her hand up to her hair, that was down past her shoulders only for a second before she had to tie it up into ponytail for the pool. Wearing two hair ties on her wrist, one that was for her and the other for Eddie. Who had been too distracted with the idea of seeing a boy back from the dead then swimming or looking up pool rules."Now, don't change the topic! Did you? Or did you not come only for Steve Harrington?" She accuses, walking a bit faster to playfully poke the back of the others right shoulder. Green sandals slapping the scolding pavement loudly, nearly hitting the others heels in the process.

"Well there was that one other time when Johnny Depp's face randomly popped up in an ad when I was watching po-"

"Ew, don't you dare finish that sentence dude or I will seriously jump in this pool and drown myself." Chrissy's nose is scrunched up at him in disgust. Gagging lightly as she quickly adds, "And there's children!" She squeals a little bit as they finally find the worst spot to sit at. A small area near the corner of the fence that everyone avoided due to the amount of ants that lived in said corner. Both of them scrunch their noses up at the sight of bugs, Eddie being extra careful not to squish any from underneath him as he held a battle with his sensitive feet.

"Well, you did ask me if I've ever come for anyone but Steve Harrington." Eddie comments with a sleazy smile, tilting his head to look away from the ground back to Chrissy. He knew exactly what he was doing as he keeps squirming around, eyes fleeting down to the towel that the other was carrying along with the bag filled with their things. Snapping his fingers at her to drop the towel to the ground, being impatient. Still doing a slight jig in attempt at making sure to keep his feet from burning to a crisp.

"I should let your feet burn off," She playfully growls, setting the bag down off to the side first, furthest away from the bugs as possible. Purposely not setting the towel down to the ground, knowing exactly what she was doing before quickly rolling up the towel in a tight twist. Swinging it in a small circle to get the twist effect before moving forward and slapping the others side with it, causing a loud slapping noise to go over the buzzing sound of chatter that surrounded them. Eddie yelps out, hand flying to his side skin turning a light pink with little goosebumps forming from where the towel impacted. Now hopping up and down in a little circle, hissing from the pain of his feet and his side. "Feet still hurt?" The girl teases, batting her eyelashes at him playfully. Breaking out in soft giggles when he begins to glare at her, though a softness still left in his demeanor.

"You abuse me woman," he whines in complaint right as she finally lays the towel out evenly on the ground. Barely getting it on the ground before Eddie's standing on top of it with a dramatic sigh. "Poor things were about to turn into fried dogs." He jokes, referencing his feet in a way that he knew Chrissy hated. Earning a small pinch at the fattiest part of his arm, causing him to giggle manically at the other. Closing his eyes for a second as the sun flashes itself into his eyes, blinding him leaving him to only be able to hear Chrissy digging into her bag loudly. Moving item after item around with soft clacks.

#steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve x eddie #steve harrington #bxb #steveharrington #steveddie #eddie stranger things #steve and eddie #chrissy cunningham #wip wednesday

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sapphicdessi · 1 year ago

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NOOOOO I JUST FOUND OUT YOU GOT TERMED NOOOO PUNCHING A HOLE IN THE WALL RN

queen it's so exhausting. I will not keep my mouth shut about wanting pedo troons dead. the first time I got termed was literally because I said DEPP should die and age gap seeking predators like him and his stupid fangirls reported me. it's insane the biggest issue staff has is how you speak about horrible men. meanwhile there's men on here wishing rape and death on innocent women all day long but who cares bc every site is an mra site.

it's pathetic to me tumblr deadass thinks it's wrong to say pedos and homophobe with conversion rape fetishes should die. they said I was wishing violence or encouraging violence on pedos. WHO CARES? I didn't even say trans "women" exactly so I find that kind of funny. they're stalking radblr and les fems. I've said it for a long time but I have tons of het/bi tras and troons stalkers so they probably reported me. I hope every male worshipping homophobic loser drops dead

#the staff is full of troons #that's why they only term women #not scummy males and homophobic gendies #they will not defeat me tho

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gender-snatched · 1 year ago

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if i have to hear one more word about how much my friend looooves johnny depp im gonna drop dead

#'he should have played crowley' GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY GOOD OMENS

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traumacodedtransbitch · 2 years ago

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if it wasn't for the trashfire year of last year, maybe I fucking would cope at least 10x better with my trauma and mental illnesses

#it haunts me every day #and i try so hard to not let it affect me #but it always fucking does #was it worth it for a washed up almost 60 year old violent actor to continue acting #i hope all of you drop dead and no one fucking mourns you #abuse tw #anti depp #vent #rant #i am in so much pain #mental illness #trauma

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infjtarot · 2 years ago

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5 of Swords ~ Bachus Tarot

The Five of Swords is a battle with no winners. One person might gain from the experience—he is collecting the swords of his opponents. But it’s not clear that he actually won, or if others simply abandoned their weapons as they were leaving the scene of battle. It is a card where one person attempts to connect with another, but instead of using their hands or their words, they use weapons. And no one wins in that scenario. Possibly a fight that must be abandoned, possibly a situation from which nothing can be gained.

In 1998 director Terry Gilliam had an idea for a film of Miguel de Cervantes’s classic, Don Quixote. He signed up an all-star cast, led by Johnny Depp and Miranda Richardson, he had a clever twist on the story, and he was coming off of the successes of his Academy Award–nominated and financially successful films The Fisher King and 12 Monkeys, and the cult-film favorite Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. But from the very beginning, the production was plagued with problems. There was a flood, and then military planes kept flying overhead, making the audio useless. The actor playing Quixote suffered an injury and had to be flown to a hospital. Then there were issues with the investors and the insurance company. The whole production had to be shut down, and the film was believed to be dead.

Gilliam would not give up. He assembled a new cast and began moving the film toward production. But again problems arose almost immediately, and actors had to quit because of scheduling conflicts. Gilliam still would not give up. He assembled a new cast and began again.

Meanwhile, he worked on other projects. His previous films, before he began working on Don Quixote, were all financial and artistic risks, but most paid off and became classics. Brazil shows up regularly on the lists of the best movies of the twentieth century, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a beloved film that has been wildly influential and adapted into a successful Broadway musical, Spamalot. But the films that came after Gilliam refused to give up on Don Quixote, from The Brothers Grimm to The Zero Theorem, have been seen as self-indulgent and too cerebral with no heart. They have failed to connect with critics or audiences. It’s as if his iron grip on Don Quixote, refusing to abandon the project, had drained the joy out of his work.

That’s a Five of Swords situation. You are engaged in a fight even though you know deep down there is no way to win. But you’ve invested so much time, so much thought and money, that you can’t give up on the dream. Your pride is such that it’s not that you can’t stand not winning, it’s that you can’t stand the idea of losing. It has blinded you to the reality that this is not going to work. The only thing you can do is to drop the idea wholesale and walk away. Put that energy into a new project instead of squandering it on something that isn’t meant to be.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Lost in La Mancha, documentary film directed by Keith Fulton and Louis Pepe Juneteenth, book by Ralph Ellison The War of the Roses, film directed by Danny De Vito The Creative Tarot. Jessa Crispin

#5 of swords #swords #tarot #bachus tarot #luigi scapini

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inapat17 · 7 months ago

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Pirate of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) or why do we go on an adventure 1/2.

In 2003, movies and pirates were not a good match. If the pirate movie was extremely popular during the 1950s, pirates were not made to be blockbuster heroes. In 1995 Cutthroat Island directed by Renny Harlin was a huge failure at the box office and headed Carolco - producer of Paul Verhoeven’s Total Recall - to bankruptcy. Therefore, when Disney decided to adapt the famous ride Pirate of Caribbean it was kind of a jump into the ocean. Mickeal Eisner, Disney’s CEO back then even tried to stop the production after Paul Hasting’s The Country Bears failed, thinking the Pirate of Caribbean movie would be a complete disaster. That is when Verbinsky decided to commit a mutiny and continue the preproduction. When he showed the designs and the story-board to Eisner, the captain of the Disney company agreed to continue the production but made it invisible that it was a Disney film. When the movie got released during the summer 2003 it earned more than $988 million for a budget – without marketing – of $140 million which was a great loot for a dead genre. Looking at the film, it seems the genre is symbolized by the Pearl’s crew, dead but alive through VFX, their adventure to do the film.

Story wise, it tells the adventure of Will(iam) Turner – Orlando Bloom – forced to piracy after the government chose to not chase the Black Pearl right after she and its crew attacked Port Royal and kept Elizabeth Swan – Keira Knightley –, the governor’s daughter, on the ship. She, at first, used the right of Parlay to talk to the captain Barbossa – Geoffrey Rush – and threaten to drop her medallion into the ocean. Medallion that is the object the Pearl’s crew sick to lift the curse. Captain Jack Sparrow – sadly Johnny Depp before we all knew that he is not playing the part with all the women in Tortuga arrives right before the attack in Port Royal looking for a ship to also chase captain Barbossa who committed a mutiny and stole his ship. But because he is a pirate the commodore James Norrigton – Jack Davenport – sends him to jail. Will broke him free and stole one of Norrington’s ships and forced him to chase them and so the Royal navy chased the Pearl. After that necessary summary it seems clear that each of the characters have a different reason to go on this adventure on the Caribbean Sea. But in comparison to the story of the production the first movie of the Pirate of the Caribbean saga can be read as a meta-film about its own making. Will is the alter-ego of Gore Verbinsky, the son of a pirate that he does not know and trying at first to do things the right way but when the government which portrayed Eisner and Disney tells him he has to stop and not persue his quest, Will, a craftsman which is an adjective that can easily be said of Verbinsky’s work, goes rogue and becomes a pirate. Then, the sword forged by Will that Norringhton gets at the beginning of the movie can be seen as movie Verbinsky has done in the past for the studios like Ring (2002) but even if it is good work he is not seen as the person responsible for the success but the producers are. Verbinsky even makes a joke about producer by making the person in charge of Will’s shop sleeping and only putting the final blow to Jack before he is arrested. When Will is introduced as a grown up he shows the word to the governor and he asks to Will to congratulate his boss. It is literally the producer not seeing the craft as the director work but as a creation of another man. Talking about the captain Jack Sparrow, he is the idea of a pirate that Hollywood created during the golden age: he drinks rum, he always overcomes challenges by lying and twisting people’s mind. Then when he gets imprisoned, he is not freed by the pirate’s attack, which represents the whole genre, but by Will. All happened as if Verbinsky freed the pirate to go on the adventure. Indeed, Pirate of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl makes pirates enter the twentieth century: the characters make a lot of jokes entwined with great action; it has a post-generic sequence… All of a typical Marvel movie but only better because there is something Verbinsky does differently: he believes in his character, in the story he is telling and in the action he does. Then the producer will always remember this movie as the time they almost cancelled one of the most grossing films of all time.

After this first set piece: Jack and Will’s fight and the Port Royal attack, the film brakes all the rules of pirate’s movie. Actually, the purpose of the pirate is not looting a treasure but putting it back where he belongs. Then what’s the purpose of the adventure? What does the pirate seek? What does the Curse mean? I will answer this question in my next article! Stay tuned!

Pierre Borowczak

#pirates #Adventure #Production's story #meta-film #Pierre Borowczak

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