#drink very deeply
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Excellent. Took several years, but made it to the end.
Ambition: Nemesis spoilers by the way.
I should add some of own commentary on this, probably, so here we go.
I originally began playing Fallen London in I think 2021, because I saw a gif of a meme of a kid rapidly speaking on Discord with the captions "Play" on the top of the gif, and "Fallen London" on the bottom of the gif and I was like, 'hmmm, what is Fallen London?'
So I joined out of curiosity, and the rest was history.
I played Fallen London for like a year before dropping it. I did do that Whitsun, as I had hapennies when I came back, and maybe I did do a bit of Chime's Grand Clearing Out? Could be misremembering. I wasn't around for the whole Horticulture thing, which, is a shame, honestly would have wanted to be a part of that, but yeah.
Regardless, I started Ambition: Nemesis simply because it seemed more story based compared to the others. My main account wasn't really roleplaying at this point, and to this day, it really isn't. It has my general username, and even if I tried to translate it into an OC, I feel like it really wouldn't work, which, well, made the story somewhat lost on me, unfortunately.
That said, it wasn't like I had some fun. I remember being absurdly scared of Seeking, especially since I never encountered it until Christmas, because I remember looking at Eaten Sacks and just seeing the whole **do not do this** sort of thing and I just freaked out. These days, I would gladly accept a crumb, but back then, I was new, I was scared, the well was a black hole I wasn't ready to jump in yet.
My main account ain't jumping in there at all even now anyways.
Eventually, I did drop Fallen London. It kinda just faded from my memory. There wasn't a day when I went, NO MORE LONDON, it was just, yeah, shrug, forgor.
Fast forward to around last Hallowmas, after sorting my bookmarks, I saw Fallen London, and that shit hit me like some correspondent shoving everything violant down my eyes.
And so I got back into it, and even began several different alts, three dedicated to the other ambitions, two to seeking, which one is to toss themselves into the void and the other is to turn back, and one that's just a mailman.
Also, they are much more proper OCs than my main account.
As such, shenanigans ensued. My attention was sort of divided between all these ambitions and just the resource intensive seeking, so I kinda was just all over the place like someone had just tossed all of my paperwork onto the floor and said, 'fill it all out'.
It was fun though, maybe I'll go in depth for each of the accounts later but back to Ambition: Nemesis
Honestly, I was kinda just stuck on Knifegate for a while. I did some of Heart's Game and Great Game Renown grinding, selling off stuff and stolen kisses as I did. I am so thankful I lucked out and got the success on the first try, my god, a good half of those knives were from before the Rat Market update halved the price of those knives.
Either way, now at the end of the Ambition, I can say, yeah, pretty good. It's pretty character driven, which uh, helps out my other OC writing for lore, but, considering my main account wasn't made for RPing in the first place and was just there to be there... Yeah, I couldn't really enjoy it in the same way as I have been with the other ambitions, simply because I didn't really make a character to RP with here. It was just me existing.
Still, I did manage to get to the end. My first Ambition finished. A great accomplishment still, if I say so myself. Maybe I'll do it again with another account just to slip much more into character. But not right now.
If you're still here reading my ramblings, stand up, move around, raise a cup of whatever suits your fancy, and drink deeply. It's still a time of celebration.
A new true denizen of the neath joins the rest, after all, and I hope to see more of the neath in all its beauty.
#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#ambition nemesis#cups raised#drink very deeply#drink like its a well#or maybe not since we know who's in there#a new true denizen of the neath approaches#also insane ramblings about just existing#how the flip do you make the 'keep reading' bar exist i don't want to spoil people unintentionally
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Hello there, dear @itsokaytomakemosstakes!
I was your assigned gift maker for the @dcmk-exchange event!
Ever since you shared your lovely mugs with me, the thought that Ran would get them as a matching kitty set for herself and Conan, wouldn't leave me alone. So I decided to embrace the idea; for both the headcanon and the personal touch.
Originally I planned something more silly, but the soothing vibes of my first sketch were just so lovely, I went with this instead (especially since I thought you might appreciate a bit of peace).
I hope you'll like this, and I really have enjoyed chatting with you, Moss!
#dcmk exchange#dcmk-exchange#detective conan#dcmk#meitantei conan#名探偵コナン#edogawa conan#fanart#the detective gremlin#my stuff#HELLO THERE: TIS I YOUR GIFTER AND I HAVE ARRIVED#i'm sorry i'Ll be ranting in the tags (as i wont to do)#*inhales deeply* i know you said you wanted something silly but... the image of him drinking from his mug was so soothing to me#i hoped it would be a bit soothing for you too *fidgets with hands*#i'm not really good at fanart but i saw in your form that you would like a fanart if possible#and i wanted to give it a try and i actually really loved working on it a lot i accidentally got into the zone for hours#i mostly used markers and a bit of coloured pencil to colour his pajamas.#(a very light green which the scanner killed but well...) so a mixed media piece?#i also felt more comfortable for going with a semi-realistic style? i always wanted to do my own interpretation of shinichi's adorable hair#and i tried to imitate how gosho colours hair since i've always liked that style. an attempt was made at least#i really hope you like this at least a tiny bit and if you ever want to talk you are more than welcome to#and stay strong darling. and let yourself heal and grieve. give yourself all the time you need.#i also didn't want to set too high a bar for myself since i have a weird relationship with doing fanart. so i kept this fairly simple.#but i'm really satisfied. more than i thought i would be. so thank you for this experience a lot!!!#i also wanted to go for the feeling that he is tiny... so the mug is big and he is tiny... extra tininess... a baby...#also me realizing late in the game that i wanted to add a tiny blush but... well... *coughs*
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can't stop thinking about butch shang qinghua.... she's the pathetic butch rep we need
#butch sqh is deeply self indulgent projection for me#but listen. listen. look me in the eyes. she is a very specific kind of pathetic butch nerd.#she gets bitches but her fumbling rate is high#deeply nonthreatening butch.#i just really love imagining wlw moshang#mbj this six foot tall intimidatingly beautiful femme who looks like she'd snap someone in half for looking at her wrong#and then sqh is a full foot shorter than her and is running on energy drinks and spite#they're everything to me. moshang i love u
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Ok so. I just saw a Reddit comment (idk why I get on reddit fandom cause it always ends up making me mad) saying that the Alastor and Husk scene was probably the first time Alastor was that violent towards Husk because of him talking back to Al in the first place.
Aka, Alastor isn't abusive to Husk, except for that one time. And ISTG that comment made me want to crawl into the darkest pit of hell (ha, get it?).
SO, let's explain why Alastor's treatment of Husk isn't a one time thing.
Husk and abuse: a character analysis.
First of all, let's explain Husk's personality and why he acts the way he does.
Husk's character is presented to us as a grumpy old alcoholic who only wants people to leave him the fuck alone. He doesn't care about the hotel, about any of its members, or about Alastor's plans. He doesn't want to collaborate, he doesn't want to be there, and he doesn't care enough to act as though he does.
But, reality is:
Husk cares. Way more than he wishes he did.
He doesn't show it often, but he cares. He shows it when he calls Sir Pentious, Charlie, Vaggie and Angel out at the beginning of Masquerade, and ofc, he shows it with Angel throughout this whole chapter.
(I find the heart motif on Husk's demon form to be very interesting, actually. I like to think that one of the things Husk hates the most about himself is that, as much as he wants to fake otherwise, as much as he sees it as a weakness, as much as it just complicates everything, he cares. And death taunts him with that, displaying for everyone to see the heart he so desperately wants to hide.)
Also, Husk is very good at reading people. He hates fakeness, he hates lies, he hates people being dense because they're trying to ignore a reality about themselves.
All of these things get on his nerves enough to show that he, in fact, cares.
And he sure as fuck loves (maybe a bit too much) winning an argument against someone who's pissing him off.
So, let's go to Alastor.
A while ago I saw an amazing post (that now i cant find aaaa if someone finds it pls let me know) that talked about how this isn't the expression of someone who's just been beaten at poker, but it's an expression of sadness and betrayal.
This post implied, therefore, that Husk and Alastor had built a previous relationship of trust before the betrayal, either platonic or romantic (which had been just manipulation from Alastor's side, just like he's now doing with Charlie)
If we take this into account, it makes more sense why Husk would care about Mimzy being trouble. Not only for the safety of the rest at the hotel, but also just a tiny little bit, for Alastor's own safety.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very sure that Husk hates Alastor, but there's this tiny, annoying part of him that can't help but care.
So, let's cut to the infamous scene.
Husk didn't confront Alastor because he had never been violent towards him before. Husk confronted Alastor because he cares, and because people being stupid gets on his nerves, and because he finds it hard to hold back when he knows he's right.
Also, it had been 7 years since he had seen Alastor. It's normal that he's gained more confidence to confront him.
AND, despite all of this, he was reluctant in the beggining.
In the first screenshot, Husk gets visibly angry at Alastor because of his dismissive attitude while his back is turned at him. But when Husk speaks again, you can see him visibly holding back, choosing his words carefully with that "I mean".
(Go rewatch the scene if you wanna, it's way more clear that way than via screenshots ksdldf)
Compare this to the much more accusatory way Husk was calling out Chaggie, Sir Pentious and Angel in back chapter 4. Husk is being careful with Alastor.
Despite all we know about Husk's personality that leads him to warn Alastor about Mimzy in the first place, Husk still holds all of that back.
Why? Cause he knows better than to say something that might anger him.
It's only when Alastor touches Husk and calls him his pet that Husk loses his temper.
As we know, Husk has VERY strong personal boundaries (probably some of them come from Alastor's touch itself)
Alastor trespassing his boundaries is what makes Husk stop thinking logically. He's pissed, and he hates Alastor, and he hates how he makes him feel so powerless, so insignificant, like less of a human.
And he bites back.
The comment I saw implied that Husk said the "big talk for someone who's also on a leash" because he thought it wouldn't have any major effect on Alastor, and he unknowingly touched a touchy subject.
But this is even slightly out of character for Husk. He didn't say it because he didn't think it would make Alastor mad, he said it because he knew it would make him mad.
Husk is fucking amazing at reading people. He knew it was a touchy subject. He wasn't thinking about consequences, he was thinking about pissing Alastor off, about regaining control.
(He's a gambler, cmon. Searching for control and power without minding the consequences is his thing.)
This is NOT a "what the fuck is he doing?" face. It's an "oh no, not again" face.
And immediately, he tries to take it back. The rush of making Alastor mad passes away the moment he pulls out the chain, and Husk knows what's coming.
Alastor has done that before. Judging by Husk's body language, there's NO way on earth he hasn't.
One VERY important thing to take into account is: victims have personalities.
Of course, victims tend to have unifying factors in their trauma responses due to similar experiences, but overall: a victim isn't an archetype, it's a person.
There are different types of abuse. Everyone reacts differently towards abuse.
Saying that Husk isn't being abused by Alastor just because he talks back is. Well. Kinda weird, isn't it?
(Maybe I'm exaggerating but doesn't it sound like victim blaming a bit??)
The important thing is that this is how Valentino and Alastor treat Angel and Husk:
Yes, they are different types of abuse. Yes, Angel and Husk's reactions to it are different.
But this doesn't make one kind less valid than the other. And just because Alastor isn't sexually abusive to Husk, that doesn't mean Husk's abuse is "less important" (this isn't a competition, ffs)
Husk's personality, Husk's hatred of stupidity, Husk's reactive nature, Husk's strong boundaries, don't automatically disappear when he's talking with his abuser. He's still Husk.
And yet, we can still see the signs of abuse, such as Husk holding back at the beginning because he knows what Alastor may do if he's mad, or him flinching away slightly when Alastor turns suddenly to look at him, or him trying to take back what he just said immediately because he's scared of the consequences.
And, let's be serious. Alastor is a serial killer. He enjoys watching people suffer. He enjoys knowing that people fear him.
And, since he's on a "leash", as Husk said, I'm very sure this hurts his ego a whole lot. So, it makes sense that he loves feeling that he has control over the souls he owns, that they fear him, to forget he's not completely free himself.
It's not so far fetched to assume that Alastor gets a quick and an ego boost out of seeing Husk like that, terrified and shivering on the ground. So I don't believe he hasn't done it before.
(And I mean, even if this only happened the one time we see it in the show, it would still be abusive?? It would be Alastor using his power to physically and psychologically torment Husk, which is abuse, even if it's only once ((which i highly doubt)))
In conclusion: Alastor is an abuser. There's no way around it. And Husk is a victim of abuse.
Sorry this got long SLKDS
Tbh I think everything I said here is pretty obvious?? Like to me that scene always read as a way of the show telling us Alastor's true colors once no one's watching, and the way he treats Husk. Like, it didn't even cross my mind that it might have been an isolated occurrence.
But the comment had around 50 upvotes so?? Idk I just wanted to rant about this lmao
#its hard being a husk girly in a world full of alastor apologist#btw this is NOT trying to beef at all with alastor fans#i think he's an amazing character and he's hilarious#but GUYS. he is NOT a good person ffs#theres a very big different between characters like husk angel cherry sir pentious (who make mistakes and arent saints but who care deeply)#and characters like valentino and alastor (straight up abusive psycopaths)#and im not saying that y'all cant like any of the characters#they're AMAZING characters and vilians#but ignoring the fact that they're horrible and irredimable people is very yikes#(also im aware that husk was an overlord and he probably did some fucked up shit)#(and maybe im biased but i REALLY doubt that a guy who gets on a fight with a group of dudes bc they spiked the drink of a guy who's been-#-nothing to him but a nuisance could ever be as bad as alastor or val)#(he was probably like carmilla ig)#(not moral at all but not irredimable either)#ANYWAYSSS im ranting again#tw abuse#abuse tw#tw sa#sa tw#tw sa mention#sa mention tw#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husker#hazbin husk#husk#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#alastor hazbin
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rememberwhen he. remember. when. when.when. he
#i did mean it when i said hollands actually not even my favorite character within this universe which is honetsly#concerning the more unwell i act about him. but like he's probably in the top 5 if not top 3#he is the main main character after all i feel like it'd be weird if i didnt like him a lot lmao#i cant help that hes a pirate with loose moral but a compassionate sappy little heart :/ i cant help that he cares deeply for hte people ar#und him and will die and kill for them :/#when he leaves his home country to become a pirate and hes kept track of pirate politics and hes like#i know how to make people like me i will ally myself with the big pirates to climb my way to the top#but he forgot he's a very driven person who'll go very far to reach his goals so like he does meet and create relationships with these peop#e but um. not good ones usually lmao but like that in and of itself inadvertently launches him into pirate fame#honestly hollands plans rarely go the way he wants them to but like he still kind of knows what he's doing#that time he tries to assassinate the crown prince but ends up falling in love instead :/ whoops#chugging an energy drink so i can make more pirate renders<3 less holland renders i need my other characters to get some renders too
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So sorry you had a rough time getting labs drawn :( I have to get labs and ivs multiple times a month (I'm all good, it's just to monitor my med levels!), but one of my needle-coping methods may help with the stress (the pain is always there to some level though).
When the nurse is lining up the needle, I turn my head away, gently close my eyes (tightly closing them makes my body tense, so I try to stay "" "angelic" ""), take a deep almost meditative inhale thru the nose, and exhale through the mouth as the needle is inserted and oriented.
It doesn't remove the sting of the needle, but it keeps me from building up the anxiety even further. It takes some practice, but the closed eyes and deep breath at least somewhat centers my mind away. Drinking a lot of fluids before lab draws also makes the process a bit easier as your veins are fuller and easier to find. You could also try the other arm (my right has very visible veins, but no lab has managed to get a draw from them so I always offer my left instead)
Getting jabbed in the nerve must have been awful :( I wish you a better experience next time. ❤️
That sounds like good and practical advice, thank you! I'll try to keep it in mind next time.
Really I'm just extremely bitter and disappointed that drawing blood is becoming this scary thing now, after I've spent most of my life relatively unbothered by needles.
#feels like a failure on a deeply personal level#I've been told my veins are shy and hard to find so it's not uncommon that they need a bit of poking before you get anything out#but it has never hurt that badly before#that wasn't normal#the drinking part might be a key thing here I'm very bad at staying hydrated#and it never crossed my mind it would make your veins difficult to locate and hit accurately but it makes perfect sense#cw needles#anonymous#answered
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ok but how funny would it be if i put a lil Shenanigan in the Lights Out au where a couple of teenagers break into the ~spooky abandoned studio~ and throw Eddie in the water. like. they just find him and toss his little 4ft body in the Lake™️for shits and gigs
#wally & home watching in the bg: 👁️👁️#LISTEN SINCE I GOT THAT ASK REMINDING ME OF THE LAKE JOKE#IT HASNT LEFT MY BRAIN#every few hours im just like hee hee eddie is in the Water <3#technically the situation is very distressing and scary for the puppets#but also. Lmao.#wh lights out au#it would also be funny if wally went Hey Maybe They Can Help!#and then unintentionally scares the teens half to death and gets the studio branded as Deeply Haunted among local folklore#the playfellow ex-employees reading about it in the news: *sips tea*#or fuck sorry we're american. it should be *sips coffee* my b#< that was a joke btw! haha! hilarious! because us americans drink coffee like water haha!#kidding again. i dont drink coffee! i do not like it! now if yall will excuse me im gonna munch on chocolate covered espresso beans.
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ive talked to a lot of ppl who have taken vyvanse now and i think ik a bit more on how i need to live on it
#1) dopamine drops on lower dosages or high dosage but in the evenings feel like hell and it wont ever stop you have to just breathe#you will stop breathing well and you wont notice it so you have to remember to breathe deeply. this helps immensely for some reason#2) you will stop processing the existence of food as a consumable thing and not just an object like Table or Cardboard. you will not want to#eat anything. you have to buy meal replacement shakes. sweetness is one of the only pleasant flavours. eat protein. eat as much protein as#you can. down those meal replacament shakes. get enough for a day. try not to into calorie deficits on vyvanse.#3) your mind will be searching for cognitively complex tasks and everything else dwarfs in comparison. dont lay down. do something.#4) you have to exercise. fully exercise at the gym not a home 20 min work out. you need to push your body right now so that you can be ok#5) nothing will be as intense and vivid and beautiful and there will be a layer of seperation between you snd reality even on a lower dosage#this is fine. this is the primary price. sunlight helps and so does doing complex tasks but you cant avoid this. remind yourself that this#is a self-induced thing and its temporary and itll fade.#6) youve been ship of theseus'd into a new person and this effect only increases later into the day. any conclusion you reach about yourself#is most likely not applicable to your non-vyvanse self.#7) carry chapstick around. keep drinking water. dry mouth starts 5 minutes after taking it#8) some of your friends have a reduced range of emotion and this makes them more stable but less capable of experiencing intense joys#and sadnesses. look at them. listen to their perspective. live like them when youre on the medication.#9) music is still gorgeous#10) you will feel very hot very fast. wear layers you can take off.#11) pick up a bow and shoot. keep shooting. keep going. shoot at least 50 arrows if you can. feel the pain in your arms and your shoulders#and then keep shooting.
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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the stimmies and the shimmies !
hi i wrote a self-indulgent drabble about kuni (wanderer) where u do some happy stimming and he wants to know why!!
ᴄᴡ. written with a neurodivergent reader in mind, but anyone can read and relate as stimming is not at all exclusive to neurodivergency :] i do not at all wish to encourage harmful stereotypes or put this behavior on a pedestal—this is simply a silly happy drabble building from my own personal experiences and i wanted to share it for anyone to enjoy!!
ᴀ/ɴ. happy flappy happy flappy flip flop flappy pap :D also this actually turned out to be really cute and doesnt only have to do with stimming—its very fluffy and funny and i really like the dialogue!! not super proofread and im very proud of myself for not hoarding this in my drafts for months!! im really happy that it only took me an evening to write this!! WEEEE
“…why are you flapping your hands?”
you stopped moving abruptly, staring at the wanderer with a blank face, expression unreadable.
it took you a moment to get the words out (because he was staring at you expectantly with his arms crossed, and that was rather intimidating), but you managed to squeak them by after some self-encouragement.
“well… im happy.”
kunikuzushi seemed to scrutinize you for a moment, and you were afraid that this had only given him another reason to dislike you. “happy? why would you be happy? i hate happy people.”
(…that’s what you imagined he would say.)
though, you obviously didn’t know him perfectly well, because what he said next was far from the venomous reply you’d feared.
he simply hummed, gaze softening a bit. “alright then.”
alright then.
you had finished your happy flapping due to the interruption, no longer feeling the urge to happy flap, but you still felt calm and content, and maybe even more so thanks to his almost… sweet response. sweet for him, at least.
the expression on his face made you feel a bit warm all of a sudden—he wouldn’t stop looking at you. it wasn’t hard to tell that his eyes were boring into your own even if you weren’t meeting them yourself. you felt like a little pot of boiling water under his gaze. a little soup. a soup of happy and confused feelings. happy soup.
what was it that had made you so very happy, kunikuzushi wondered? he kept replaying the past couple minutes in his head, trying to remember what had occurred just before this, but the only pictures in his head were of you, all bouncy and flappy and so very pleased.
perhaps he should’ve just asked you, he mused.
perhaps he would just ask you.
“what made you so happy?” he inquired, as blunt and flat as ever. but you knew him just enough to know that he would never ask such a thing if he didn’t really care—and the tone of his voice was irrelevant. he always sounded rather uninterested with anything.
you grinned, meeting his gaze. it looked as though you were holding yourself back, buzzing with a chained excitement again.
“kuni, i was happy because of you!”
a most incredulous expression crossed the wanderer’s face.
“me?”
what could kunikuzushi have done to make anyone so happy?
he studied your smile, your hands, your eyes—and he could not figure out how he could possibly be a reason that all of those lovely features of yours contained such absolute joy.
you nodded confidently. “do you want me to explain?” you could tell from kuni’s horrified expression that, firstly, he did not really believe you. and secondly, he held a deep-seated loathing for himself, which was why he could not believe you. he could not accept that there was anything good about himself.
“knock yourself out,” he murmured, still seeming dazed.
you motioned for him to sit next to you, looking like you would start jumping up and down at any second. seriously, why were you so happy?
“i was just thinking about how far you’ve come, kuni,” you began. you already looked like you were in the middle of one of your long spiels that the wanderer was so often obliged to listen to. “and it makes me really happy.”
he had to hold himself back from scoffing—not because he thought anything bad about you, but because he thought badly about himself.
“remember when nahida first made you come work with me in the nursery?” you grinned. “you were so mad. it was hilarious.”
kunikuzushi averted his gaze to the ground with a grumble, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting.
“okay, i was not mad.”
“yes, yes you were! oh my archons, you were so grumpy, kuni! you-”
“no, you are so delusional,” he retorted. “i was just-”
“grumpy?”
“no.”
“ooohhh, yes, kuni was feeling a bit grumpy, i think. you were a little grumper.”
the wanderer opened his mouth to retaliate—but he faltered, a new hint of amusement smothering his gaze.
“…you are incredibly annoying, did you know that?”
in any other situation you would’ve taken that very literally, but the faintest of smiles itched at his lips, and you knew for certain that that was his way of conceding.
you probably should’ve stopped there, but something inside you just couldn’t continue in life without saying this one last thing.
you feigned pity with a pout, widening your eyes and clasping your hands.
“...did nahida forget to give you a juicebox that day?”
kunikuzushi thrust his hat onto your head, shoving you and your hysterical laughter aside. if you could’ve seen from under the big ass hat, his glowing cheeks and sheepish grin likely would have sent you into a fit, and the wanderer just couldn’t have that.
“i am so funny,” you cackled, very obviously pleased with yourself (but you were still trapped under his hat, so your voice was very muffled, and it was much more difficult for him to take you seriously this way).
“yeah, yeah. whatever helps you sleep at night, flappy.”
“flappy?” you knocked off the hat with one sweep, an incredulous smile dancing on your lips. “you jerk!”
“yes, i know.”
“oh, you are so mean,” you grumbled, though your expression said the exact opposite.
“i’m well aware, flappy.”
“you just make me wanna—wanna—oh, why i oughta-”
“oh, please, do tell!” kunikuzushi drawled, resting his chin in his palm.
when you couldn’t seem to say anything at all, mouth agape, he closed it for you—pushing your jaw up with his pointer finger—grinning smugly like he always did.
“as auntie nahida says,” the wanderer murmured, “if you have nothing nice to say…don’t say anything at all.”
and with that, he grabbed his hat from the floor, exiting the nearly empty nursery with a dramatic flourish that was so characteristic of him. you were left sitting there for a few minutes, aghast at what had just happened, until you came to your senses.
you did a bit of happy flapping after that.
thank you for reading :)
#kunikuzushi x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#genshin x reader#scaramouche imagines#something about kuni reminds me of autism LMAO??#since he’s not fully human and he spent some of his life being around people and learning how they act#learning what is ‘normal’#that reminds me very much of my own experience with autism#looking to others constantly to know how to act normal and never actually knowing yourself outside of this fake little unautistic identity#LMAOFHDJDGD#OH MY GOSH and his voice line about bitter taste#how when someone gave him coffee he didnt actually like it but he kept drinking it because.. he had to (he didnt have to but he thought so)#skdhkshdkdd just you know. he is very gorgeous to me !#and i cannot explain in words how much i adore him and his redemption arc#BOY YOU ARE SO DEEPLY REDEEMED IN MY EYES#COME HERE BOY GIVE ME A KISS#mujimade#scaramouche#wanderer#kunikuzushi
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。゚( ゚இ‸இ゚)゚。
hello!!!!
just here to say to say that ur works give me the best sadness ever like nose sore, tears welling up but in such a tender n nostalgic way that i wanna sit here n read ur pieces forever. i only found u cause i wanted some good ol’ poly stsg fluff n i was saur happy when i saw the sashisu piece as well!!! im currently on the quest to binge everything so im sorry about the spam likes n reblogs but ARGH! THE FEELS!!!! the way u write all the characters so tender n soft n it goes straight to my heart 🫶🫶🫶
in conclusion, heart is warm, tummy has butterflies, eyes r lowkey swollen, n there’s a smile on my face! thank u so much!!!!
(´∀`)♡
🥺🥺🥺 HIIIIIII ALLY !!!!!!! i was just about to thank you for your tags on the sashisu fic and then i saw this….. you’re suchhhh an angel i’m gonna WEEP
FIRST OF ALLL never apologize for spam liking or rbing !!!! it makes me so happy !!!!!! T_T knowing that anyone would binge my fics is like . genuinely the best feeling ever i appreciate you soso much.. i’m so happy they could warm your heart!! 🥺 sorry about the tears though . sending satoru and suguru to wipe them away asap !!!!! hang in there!!!!!!!!
AND AND !!!!!! if you like poly stsg fics then you’re in luck :33 cause i’m planning to write another one soon!!!! just . self-indulgent …. hurt/comfort……. because i like the idea of the jjk blorbos tending to their burnt out readers……… BUTTT i hope you’ll enjoy that one whenever i post it 🥺 just gonna leave a snippet under the cut in case you’re interested….!!!!!
silently, tenderly, suguru treats the nosebleed. you’re pliant and defeated, too tired to resist, letting him hold your jaw like it’s made out of porcelain, gently dab the cotton ball around your nose. as soon as he’s pulling away, you fall back on the mattress behind you — turning on your side so that you aren’t facing them.
”fine,” you hiss, so low they barely hear it. ”fine.”
quietly, you cradle a pillow to your chest. hiding away. sensing their heavy gazes, digging softly into your back; the weight of their insistent worry.
the two men share a look.
satoru is the first to act. moving closer, slow and tentative, leaning over the mattress to ruffle your hair. you just barely resist the urge to swat his hand away, still frustrated and ashamed… but he’s being a lot more gentle than usual. so you let his big palm run over the expanse of your head, almost delicately, without complaint. trying not to melt at the feeling.
then he’s walking out of the room. nudging suguru’s shoulder, in passing, shooting him a glance that he interprets perfectly —
take care of them, okay?
……. i just want them to coddle me 😵💫
#but genuinely sincerely thank you so so much for reading and taking the time to send me this 🥺 it means so much#i’m so happy you enjoyed the sashisu piece too..!! it’s very special 2 me#ily <33 hope your day or night is going absolutely wonderful#pls . drink water . hydrate yourself . i don’t want you collapsing bc of the tears 😭#here u go 🧃🥤🧋💧 lots of drinks :3#WAIT ALSOOOO xiao lover………. i respect you very deeply#that little guy deserves all the devoted fans <3#pls give him a kiss on the cheek from me!!!#ask tag ✩
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There's just like a lot of things about me that make me feel like I'm profoundly unlovable
#GDKSGJSHSKHSKSHHELP I'M. I FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY I DROPPED IT BACK THEN#LIKE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PUT IT INTO WORDS. ESP WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE#bruh my brain came up w the phrase 'bootleg incel' anf i nearly choked on my drink about it GSKGSAHSGKS#BUT IT'S LIKE. 100% . I HAVE A LOT OF DEEPLY ROOTED INSECURITIES THAT JUST. FUCK ME OVER#and make me see shrimp colors like oh this is a very lovely story where one character is#deeply misunderstood and ostracized and feared and dehumanized and they've spent their entire life alone#and also she's a hot space girl. OBVIOUSLY THE GUY IS GONNA FALL IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT#LIKE. LIKE. and it is sooooooo love at first sight and it's super sweet but like THE SHRIMP COLORS. HURTING ME#and i KNOW. i'm the one who's being stupid about it. like objectively it's a fun story and it's cute and exciting#but man. i am just one evil concoction of a guy. there are a lot of things about me that make me feel unlovable.#not only am i undesirable i also just do it wrong. i fit into zero social conventions and i pay the price for it#SWAGEVER...............#anyways i do recommend sazan and comet girl if only for the artwork but also. it's cute#there's just something wrong with me. deeply.#still reading it btw i just needed to get all this junk out of my system LMFAO#THE. INADEQUACIES..............#from my art to just all of me. as a person.#normal guy.
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My girl loser moment of the day is my few friends send me posts and make fun of my problems with alcohol to the point their partners I don't know send me memes about drinking and im too Me to say that it hurts my feelings in a confrontation so I just let them make fun of my problems and don't say anything
#i dont know how it started ive neverbeen very lighthearted about my drinking nor do i talk about how bad it gotmuch#i have never deeply opened up about it and im glad i didnt bc damn its really now my personality to people i dont even know#anyways im a month sober again. yay
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I think it's funny how people with little to no alcohol experience writing alcohol use/abuse without researching it first often fall into extremes of either like, characters drinking a full pint glass of whiskey and being just a LITTLE tipsy, or characters (alcoholics especially) being absolutely shitfaced blackout drunk off of like a single 750 ml bottle of white wine
#I mean even a lot of non-alcoholic adults can put away a full bottle of wine without puking.#Most alcoholics could go through two and still be conscious if not ready for more#I used to have a very very severe binge drinking problem and you would not believe what a seasoned alcohol abuser can put away#I was going to give an example of the most fucked up I ever got myself without literally dying because TO ME it's a funny story#but realized it's kind of deeply unpleasant and horrible
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thinkin abt argonians (like always) and the fact i have no tes vampire OCs sooo here's Drinks-Deeply 💕
#my art#drinks-deeply#argonian oc#ik i said i wasnt gonna finish this but i lied#idk When he is. i made him initially to stress test my pc w skyrim#but he has a vibe that's very eso. so idk#he might be friends w ildoen maybe they collect daedric artifacts together#i literally invented this man today idk we'll see#call him drinks :3
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coming to the realization that the list of characters i'm unfortunately very very very enthralled by who:
are awful horrible terrible people but really wonderfully written dad/dad-flavored villains
canonically know what piss tastes like for reasons very blatantly kept from the audience
who i don't hate/dislike because of point 2 (piss drinker rights) but defo hate for point 1
has expanded to two. something something 2 nickels not a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice. banking on a third one coming my way in 2024 fingers crossed but we'll see. this post is about sagawa tsukasa and clay puppington by the way.
#what a type of guy to be#like what a fact to know about them. wish this happened with characters who you're Supposed to like though#like this is my sweetie pie character who's done nothing wrong. does drink piss but that's not a flaw so who cares#something something kink -> stigma -> limited to villains.. whatever. anyway i think it's very silly that they overlap in this specific way#also to clarify i am not actually upset that i like villain characters. the 'unfortunately' is a little flair and also conveys the vague#tearing-my-hair-out feeling of loving a character you also find deeply and fundamentally kinda repugnant. see griffith berserk for my#strongest personal example. god. that fucking man. oh my god#not going down that rabbit hole not going down that rabbit hole. anyway#not tagging with the characters because i actually think it's funnier that way. not sure why
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