#drifting apart

[sl8tersstuff]

Always responding quick because if I don't answer now,

are they still gonna need me?

[neverlandsky]

— now i wouldn't know who to name if someone asks who my best friend is because i don't think you'll say mine.

[pahaadonkidhoop]

it really is a whole different kind of heart-stabbing pain when your parents ask you about what happened to the people you talked non stop about and don't as much / at all anymore

[xanaduslostmonarch]

You were not mine to hold in this lifetime.

In the next, I hope we can fall asleep next to each other and I can hear your heart beat alongside mine.

[heurtininside]

i miss you, do you miss me?

i drove by a sign for your old middle school and thought of you

 we haven’t talked since my birthday

 even then it was a measly happy birthday on your story at noon instead of midnight

i don’t think we’re friends anymore, you have shiny new ones

you still have my hair clip from eight months ago

i wonder if i’ll ever get it back

how many of my sayings and mannerisms are borrowed from you?

do you still say them the way i do?

do you have new ones i don’t know about?

new friends, new interests, new hobbies, new clothes, a new life?

how much has changed in your life away from me?

how much has stayed the same?

do you miss me the way i miss you?

or have you forgotten all about me?

it feels like you left me at a bus stop waiting for you to come back

maybe i’ll get a new best friend

maybe they’ll be a better one than you were in our half decade friendship

maybe i won’t

maybe i won’t ever have a best friend like you

where people mistaked us as lovers 

maybe its better this way

maybe its what needed to happen

maybe we needed to drift apart

have different lives

is it selfish of me to want you all to myself?

is it horrible to see bad things happen to you and think that its karma?

a year ago i couldn’t dream of thinking this way

maybe a year from now i’ll forget you all together

or maybe you’ll haunt the back of my mind like a ghost,

bringing up memories wherever i go.

[basically-queenberyl]

You know your people don’t really fuck with you like they say they do when they haven’t seen you in person in months and whenever you text them, you feel like you’re shouting into the void.

[nalayaktha]

That moment when you look at old pictures of your friends and you together and happy. The strange yearning for thise times. When you don't know how you drifted apart but you know everything you miss about them. When you wish you had hugged them a little tighter the last time. When you wish you had told them you loved them atleast. When you see them happy with someone else and are happy for their joy but wish you had the courage to reach out again. When you wonder if you have any right to still call them friends when you drifted apart and didn't bother reaching out. When you want to ask 'can I still call you and will you not hate me'

[inkscribbled]

When you find an old picture of us, and you clear away the dust. I hope you miss me sometimes. When you see a frame and it reminds you me- would you remember the times, the times that we believed.

[ashersbraincell]

When you've caught yourself looking at pictures and videos of the good times and you feel like you miss them(because you fucking do) but you know there's no way of going back. They're open to it, sure. But you're not. Because it literally cannot work out and you would only prolong the inevitable process of drifting.

But fucking damn it I just want my pookies back. My sillies back. But I know that they care much about the relationship than I do. I've built up this twisted, twisted overblown idea of how deeply connected we are when we're just. Not? We barely vent to one another, and when we do the conversations were very surface level. There was no deeper connection there. But oh how I'd fooled myself there was.

And then my stupid ass gets upset over a betrayal that there wasn't even anything to get betrayed OVER. I felt ghosted but I literally wasn't, that was just how much we interacted in general and I felt it more deeply because of my crumbling mental state. I miss something that never even existed(/stopped existing a while ago for my bsf atleast)

[scarymath]

i still wake up with things to tell you.

[wickedzeevyln]

Paper

Lost in an ever shifting water-colored dune dyed with the last drops of a golden summer smelted in the sun’s furnace, a dream swallowed by a dream, you are. When this body shrivel into weariness but the thoughts must wander on, they clamber onto the sustained note of a night’s song to find you garbed in a dress of snow garnished with lilacs for the sight to feast. On and on, you lingered. When…

[thecrystaldreamcatcher-blog]

Desert Plants

I water the plants just like how you would water a desert plant. This isn’t about plants :)

[e-c-poetry]

and if I don’t reach out first

would you forget me

the silence is starting to feel

like you would

e.c.

[scarlet-sam-chaos]

sometimes it is 2:30 am and you do sus shit like save a pin saying 'heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i' in a shared board that you and her last contributed to like two months ago and hope she sees and texts you

and then you realise something and check the collaborators section and realise she left the board sometime ago whenwhenwhen? when did we start to fall apart? my love im so sorry, please come back, i love you with all that i know love to be-

but maybe we were doomed from the start, we named the board "perhaps in some lifetime", didnt we?

but why is it that you are the one who left it- left me behind with all the memories? is it a blessing or a curse?

i wonder, do you still cherish the poem i gave to you to ask you out? what about the hundreds of tiny paper stars i made for you, promising you that we shall go gaze at the stars some day?

its 2:45 am and im going through our texts, the time you called me your moon and whispered, 'i dont know what i feel but i know its more than friendship and i want to see where this goes'

we werent together but we were something- but because we werent together i cannot call this a breakup and cannot mourn you as I feel like doing- so i pretend to be your friend and happy for what you're doing in life- but i miss you so much, send me that good night text with the stars and our daily morning flowers- i have every chrysanthemum you sent me saved in my gallery and I searched through the google pages trying to find new tulips for you but- i remember last week the first time ever when i sent you flowers and you didnt reply in kind-

in the poem i wrote you, i ended it with 'could it be, darling, you feel the same as me?' and maybe, just maybe, i should have given the brief hesitation in your eyes before you answered more of a thought

[fwoopersongs]

晚风 - Evening Wind

A version of me [1], high up, looks afar [2]; there is a cloud that has stopped. Planning a stealthy capture, to the Night, Dusk now belongs [3].

Within the dense forest, lights flicker resolutely, flying along. And the drifting heart? Suspended. ‘Til the curtain of the night envelops.

The night has grown deep, stars lighting the colours of the way back home [4].

Summer's evening wind - it blows. Like someone’s embrace, there’s… lingering warmth. Take all the tender stories, knead them in ‘til they are one with the night, and with that distance [5], forgotten.

People pass by each other and parting ways, scatter.

The evening wind this night - it blows. Like our inhale, exhale, there’s… lingering warmth. And our story, from our first meeting it fades, ‘til distance separates [6] us again; we had thought ourselves in love.

We pass by each other. A goodbye, and we’ve parted.

The evening wind this night - it blows. Like our inhale, exhale, there’s… lingering warmth. And our story, from our first meeting it fades, ‘til distance separates us again; we had thought ourselves in love.

We pass by each other. A goodbye, and we’ve parted.

...............................................................................................

I heard the first line in the two minute version of this song subbed by @halfxin on twitter and dived for youtube for the full thing, then ended up listening to it on a loop for the longest time. So, here's an impulse translation from me xD

Have also since watched her subbed MV lyric video and it is so lovely <3 I really like her interpretation and phrasing for the song. Special shoutout to 'while the fluttering heart remains unsettled until the dusk closes around it' and 'blending our sweet story thoroughly into the colors of the night to be set aside and forgotten' - it makes them so vivid!

[1] 某个我 (mǒu gè wǒ) - Literally, a certain 'me'. I heard this and was immediately 100% invested. Is it a version of yourself across possibilities, or a past, present, future self?

[2] 眺望 (tiào wàng) - Being high up and looking still further. It feels like freedom, it feels like peace. Someone said, the last cloud drifting idly by will not stay. But this one stayed!

[3] 夜幕把日落拥有 - I have always had the biggest soft spot for anthropomorphizing nature, and this is so so so cute? The curtain of night taking the sunset as its own.

[4] 归途 (guī tú) - Literally, return journey, doesn't actually specify that the return must be 'home'. But there is only one place I would say I 归 to. And that's home. So this is a personal choice.

[5] 疏离 (shū lí) - Not just 'distance'. It feels like isolating, like emotional detachment.

[6] 隔阂 (Gé'hé) - Now this is emotional detachment that leads to barriers in emotions and communication.

某个我 眺望着 有片云朵停驻了 计划秘密地捕捉 夜幕把日落拥有

密林里闪烁执着 飞着 飘着的心呢 悬着 到暮色四合

夜晚更深了 星星点亮着 归途的颜色

夏夜的晚风 吹着 像谁的拥抱 余热 把温柔的故事全部都揉进了夜色 疏离地忘了

人们从身边经过 再各自散了

今夜的晚风 吹着 像彼此呼吸 余热 而我们的故事相遇再褪回到隔阂 自以为爱着

我们从身旁经过 一别就散了

今夜的晚风 吹着 像彼此呼吸 余热 而我们的故事相遇再褪回到隔阂 自以为爱着

我们从身旁经过 一别就散了

[a-round-of-robyns]

may 17th