#drifting apart

[fallingapart2dream]

And maybe when the thrill fades we'll realize how we were never too far from drifting apart.

[daisychains334]

it’s study hall and we’re playing chess, rain pattering on the window outside. next year i won’t see you every day or even every month, and i’ll wonder what happened to us.

you knock over my king, proud of yourself. “checkmate,” you say, eyes sparkling. i try to convince myself i don’t like you anymore and fail. i’ve never been a good liar.

eyeing my incomplete paper, you raise an eyebrow. “you should finish your math.”

i laugh, and because it’s 8th grade and it’s the last year nothing matters, i shove it to the side. “how about one more game first?”

[sl8tersstuff]

Always responding quick because if I don't answer now,

are they still gonna need me?

[neverlandsky]

— now i wouldn't know who to name if someone asks who my best friend is because i don't think you'll say mine.

[pahaadonkidhoop]

it really is a whole different kind of heart-stabbing pain when your parents ask you about what happened to the people you talked non stop about and don't as much / at all anymore

[xanaduslostmonarch]

You were not mine to hold in this lifetime.

In the next, I hope we can fall asleep next to each other and I can hear your heart beat alongside mine.

[chestersbraincell]

When you've caught yourself looking at pictures and videos of the good times and you feel like you miss them(because you fucking do) but you know there's no way of going back. They're open to it, sure. But you're not. Because it literally cannot work out and you would only prolong the inevitable process of drifting.

But fucking damn it I just want my pookies back. My sillies back. But I know that they care much about the relationship than I do. I've built up this twisted, twisted overblown idea of how deeply connected we are when we're just. Not? We barely vent to one another, and when we do the conversations were very surface level. There was no deeper connection there. But oh how I'd fooled myself there was.

And then my stupid ass gets upset over a betrayal that there wasn't even anything to get betrayed OVER. I felt ghosted but I literally wasn't, that was just how much we interacted in general and I felt it more deeply because of my crumbling mental state. I miss something that never even existed(/stopped existing a while ago for my bsf atleast)

[so-not-snow-white]

Something I haven't seen people really talk about (or maybe I haven't noticed) is that the deeply painful feeling of somebody you love, more than the entire universe, kind of drifting away from you.

they're not doing it intentionally. They're thriving, they're busy, and they still love you and try their best, but you can just feel it in your bones that what's happening is inevitable and very real.

And you're over the moon for them, but you know now that you can't go to them over stupid shit anymore. Or anything small, really. Things are changing. And there's nothing you can do about it.

[heurtininside]

i miss you, do you miss me?

i drove by a sign for your old middle school and thought of you

 we haven’t talked since my birthday

 even then it was a measly happy birthday on your story at noon instead of midnight

i don’t think we’re friends anymore, you have shiny new ones

you still have my hair clip from eight months ago

i wonder if i’ll ever get it back

how many of my sayings and mannerisms are borrowed from you?

do you still say them the way i do?

do you have new ones i don’t know about?

new friends, new interests, new hobbies, new clothes, a new life?

how much has changed in your life away from me?

how much has stayed the same?

do you miss me the way i miss you?

or have you forgotten all about me?

it feels like you left me at a bus stop waiting for you to come back

maybe i’ll get a new best friend

maybe they’ll be a better one than you were in our half decade friendship

maybe i won’t

maybe i won’t ever have a best friend like you

where people mistaked us as lovers 

maybe its better this way

maybe its what needed to happen

maybe we needed to drift apart

have different lives

is it selfish of me to want you all to myself?

is it horrible to see bad things happen to you and think that its karma?

a year ago i couldn’t dream of thinking this way

maybe a year from now i’ll forget you all together

or maybe you’ll haunt the back of my mind like a ghost,

bringing up memories wherever i go.

[inkscribbled]

When you find an old picture of us, and you clear away the dust. I hope you miss me sometimes. When you see a frame and it reminds you me- would you remember the times, the times that we believed.

[basically-queenberyl]

You know your people don’t really fuck with you like they say they do when they haven’t seen you in person in months and whenever you text them, you feel like you’re shouting into the void.

[nalayaktha]

That moment when you look at old pictures of your friends and you together and happy. The strange yearning for thise times. When you don't know how you drifted apart but you know everything you miss about them. When you wish you had hugged them a little tighter the last time. When you wish you had told them you loved them atleast. When you see them happy with someone else and are happy for their joy but wish you had the courage to reach out again. When you wonder if you have any right to still call them friends when you drifted apart and didn't bother reaching out. When you want to ask 'can I still call you and will you not hate me'

[scarymath]

i still wake up with things to tell you.

[wickedzeevyln]

Paper

Lost in an ever shifting water-colored dune dyed with the last drops of a golden summer smelted in the sun’s furnace, a dream swallowed by a dream, you are. When this body shrivel into weariness but the thoughts must wander on, they clamber onto the sustained note of a night’s song to find you garbed in a dress of snow garnished with lilacs for the sight to feast. On and on, you lingered. When…

[thecrystaldreamcatcher-blog]

Desert Plants

I water the plants just like how you would water a desert plant. This isn’t about plants :)

[scarlet-sam-chaos]

sometimes it is 2:30 am and you do sus shit like save a pin saying 'heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i' in a shared board that you and her last contributed to like two months ago and hope she sees and texts you

and then you realise something and check the collaborators section and realise she left the board sometime ago whenwhenwhen? when did we start to fall apart? my love im so sorry, please come back, i love you with all that i know love to be-

but maybe we were doomed from the start, we named the board "perhaps in some lifetime", didnt we?

but why is it that you are the one who left it- left me behind with all the memories? is it a blessing or a curse?

i wonder, do you still cherish the poem i gave to you to ask you out? what about the hundreds of tiny paper stars i made for you, promising you that we shall go gaze at the stars some day?

its 2:45 am and im going through our texts, the time you called me your moon and whispered, 'i dont know what i feel but i know its more than friendship and i want to see where this goes'

we werent together but we were something- but because we werent together i cannot call this a breakup and cannot mourn you as I feel like doing- so i pretend to be your friend and happy for what you're doing in life- but i miss you so much, send me that good night text with the stars and our daily morning flowers- i have every chrysanthemum you sent me saved in my gallery and I searched through the google pages trying to find new tulips for you but- i remember last week the first time ever when i sent you flowers and you didnt reply in kind-

in the poem i wrote you, i ended it with 'could it be, darling, you feel the same as me?' and maybe, just maybe, i should have given the brief hesitation in your eyes before you answered more of a thought