#dream will show up eventually...
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I want to post more headcanons and just stuff in general, so here are my headcanons for Dream and Nightmare as well as their backstory for The Nightmare of Apathy.
Dreamtale belongs to jokublog. I just really like these characters and wanted to do something unique for them.
The Guardian of Feelings
Once there was a goddess of all the feelings in existence. She was called Nim and her role was to safe guard the emotions of mortals. Despite being a vital player in the multiverse, very few mortals knew or even cared about her existence. She was desperately lonely and longed for the company of someone who could understand her ways as a god.
This led her to create two new guardians, which she named Dream and Nightmare. Unfortunately, the process of creating and finding appropriately shaped vessels to contain their magic took a lot of Nim's own energy. So, as her last act as The Guardian of Feelings, she created a special tree and entered into it to rest. This tree became the Tree of Feelings and the twins home for the next few years.
The Tree of Feelings
With the last of Nim's energy, the tree began to bear fruit in the form of magical apples. These apples represented both positive and negative emotions, meaning for the first time, emotions were divided into two types.
The golden yellow apples represented positivity and Dream was tasked with keeping them. They had the capacity to rapidly heal injuries at the risk of side effects later on and provided instant relief for any overwhelming negative emotions. Eating even one bite would flood the consumer's mind and soul with positive emotions, however if too much is eaten at once, it can become dangerous.
The black iridescent apples represented negativity and Nightmare was tasked with keeping them. They had the capacity to heal injuries at a slower but more effective rate and provided instant relief for any overwhelming positive emotions. Eating even one bite would flood the consumer's mind and soul with negative emotions, eating too much at once is also dangerous.
Still, the key was balance and the twin guardians were tasked to distribute the apples among anyone in need as they saw fit. For the first few years, this was no issue as not many mortals knew about the Tree of Feelings, but eventually a village was established nearby.
The Twins
While the twins were sort of like blank slates at first, the more they interacted with mortals, the more they began to develop into their own individuals.
Dream became bubbly and enthusiastic over the smallest things. He dressed in bright colours and did his best to endear himself to the villagers. He easily made friends and quickly became the favourite guardian, especially because the golden apples were more pleasant to consume.
Nightmare became more reserved and almost shy around large crowds of people. He dressed in more muted colours and while he tried to make friends with the villagers, they hated him and the black apples because of how awful they felt when eating them.
The End
As the years passed, discontentment began to take root in many of the villager's souls. They began to believe that only positive emotions should exist since what use did negativity have? The twin guardians were pretty much inseparable from each other and took their duties to guard the tree seriously.
However, one day, Dream was lured away and tricked to eat a golden apple. The resulting surge of positive emotions and power was thrilling for the young guardian. Some of the villagers began encouraging him to consume more of them since it seemed to benefit him and they secretly wanted him to become more powerful than his brother.
At first, Dream resisted and didn't eat any more apples, since he knew they were dangerous to consume in large amounts. Besides, Nim would've wanted them to be given to those who needed it, not kept to himself.
Eventually, he began to eat more since the extra power felt good and his body began to change with each apple he ate. (He was probably pressured into it by the villagers as well.) His pale eyelights turned bright yellow and his bones began to almost glow gold. He even started to get gold markings along his ribs and limbs.
Nightmare knew something was wrong when Dream began acting more distant and spending a lot more time with the villagers. He also grew concerned when the golden apples began to grow more numerous compared to the black ones and that his brother's appearance had changed.
He confronted his brother but Dream had become drunk on power and brushed him off. With Dream distracted, some of the villagers attacked Nightmare and nearly killed him. In desperation, Nightmare ate some of the black apples and gained enough power to defend himself from them.
The negative emotions from the black apples quickly overwhelmed him and he began to eat more, spiralling further. Every negative emotion he'd been holding in from his interactions with the villagers spilled out and he turned his attention to the village itself.
Dream was horrified when his brother began attacking and killing people with little regard. He tried to get him to stop but soon had to step in physically. The twins fought but it quickly became apparent that Nightmare had the upper hand.
Before Nightmare could kill his own brother, Nim managed to freeze the skeleton in stone to protect him. Nightmare continued his rampage until the Tree of Feelings was felled by a villager who had hoped it would bring the violence to an end.
When Nightmare came to his senses, he realized that everyone was dead. His brother was frozen in stone, possibly dead, and his mother the tree was dead too. He didn't know what to do and he stayed in the area for a while to grieve. He eventually left and began to travel the multiverse. He was barely twelve at the time.
Eternal Darkness: Minor Spoilers for TNA!
At some point, years later, Nightmare discovered a particular universe. The people were simple and they seemed to think that he was a god. Nightmare decided to have a new start. If people saw him as a deity, who was he to disappoint them? He couldn't be a benevolent ruler, even if he had wanted to.
Nightmare laid waste to the world. He destroyed villages, infrastructure, and livelihoods. He killed close to half the population and by the time he was done, the world was steeped in negativity.
His overwhelming negative aura had an effect on the environment and Nightmare purposely extinguished the sun. The moon and stars became the only light for the remaining denizens. The flora and fauna adapted and changed to suit the new darkness.
Nightmare went out of his way to destroy anything that referenced the sun and set himself up as reigning Lord over everyone. He had a castle constructed and demanded taxes from the remaining population. He ruled through fear for the next five hundred or so years, until Dream broke out of the stone.
Dream looked for his brother but couldn't find him in the remnants of their old world, so he turned his attention to the multiverse. For a little while, the former guardians were able to coexist without running into the other. Dream grew up quickly due to the golden apples' lingering power but his mental and emotional state was still stunted.
Dream began to help people and made several friends like Blue and Ink. This helped him mature some but Nightmare still had much more world experience over him.
Eventually, they met each other and while both were shocked to see the other alive, they weren't happy to see the other either. Nightmare was hit with a wave of emotions he had long since buried and was hesitant to fight. Although, the memories were still fresh in Dream's mind, he immediately tried to attack Nightmare, forcing him to defend himself.
The brothers had several more conflicts for the next couple of years. They never did sit down and try to properly discuss things, as both were too angry and proud. Until, Dream finally got fed up and recruited some friends to attempt to finish Nightmare once and for all. In doing so, both brothers were seriously wounded but managed to survive. Nightmare retreated back to his world to recover and a month later, met Aylin for the first time.
#raccoons headcanons#undertale#dreamtale#nightmare sans#dream sans#the nightmare of apathy#btw i don't consider nightmare and passive as separate beings#you can probably tell but i was inspired by dreamswap and wanted to incorporate it#i blame owl-bones for that#i see the apple twins as being like ying yang#little of evil in good and a little good in evil#maybe this explains some things in the latest chapters of TNA?#and spoilers!#dream will show up eventually...#i'm gonna stop before i spoil something...
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If Rick changed Medusa for the Roman Myth in the TV show to be more 'sensitive', then he better do the same with calling out Calypso and what SHE did to Odysseus as well.
I still like PJO even though some of the changes Riordan did aren't great and make me sad but I feel like I can still enjoy it to a degree. But I am genuinely stumped and a bit disturbed by how he decided to make Calypso a sweet, sad, lonely "good person". Sure, she's sad and lonely but she is NOT sweet. To me, she reads off as cruel to Leo but even then, why tf does he write her as a good person or someone we should be rooting for?
Her only big myth is basically in the Odyssey where she imprisons and rapes Odysseus for 7 years. In mythology, others do that too but these immortals ALSO have other myths that define them. This one myth is practically her ONLY ONE!
At night he slept beside her in the hollow cave, as he was forced to do—not of his own free will, though she was keen enough. But in the daylight hours he’d sit down on the rocks along the beach, his heart straining with tears and groans and sorrow, as he gazed, through his tears, over the restless sea
(Ian Johnston, Book 5)
Another translation of the same passage by E.V. Rieu
At nights, it is true, he had to sleep with her under the roof of the cavern, cold lover with an ardent dame. But the days found him sitting on the rocks or sands, torturing himself with tears and groans and heartache, and looking out with streaming eyes across the watery wilderness.
Rick, dude, how did you read the Odyssey and see her as someone to sympathize with? Plenty of lonely people are out there and they don't do what Calypso fucking did!
It kind of freaks me out that Percy was near this woman as she's over a thousand years old and he's 14 at this point. Even if it WAS for a short amount of time. And pairing her with Leo? These kids should not be anywhere NEAR her!
idk, I doubt he'll fix this in the show but I can hope :')
#I hate her so much.#calypso#anti calypso#anti caleo#rick riordan critical#idk I still care about this series but there were...CHOICES#if the show tries to be like Miller's Circe when she eventually shows up I'll throw a FIT. She turned Percy into a guinea pig#simply for funsies as he's a dude. that's in character for her!#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#like I wanna reread the series...but I don't remember certain bits and I know some of them will make me mad :P#If I remember correctly as well. I think he portrayed Helen in a 'ditzy' light I think. I think she was in one of Piper's dreams???#As Helen was another person gifted with Charmspeak if I remember correctly???#essay
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Lucid Dreamer (1/2)
part 2
Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!
But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.
He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.
And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.
…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.
Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-
Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.
Gepard goes back home. He waits.
The uneasiness doesn't leave him.
"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.
"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.
"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.
Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."
Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.
"…I'll be back in one more week."
Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.
The hell.
The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.
Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.
He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!
Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.
He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.
He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.
He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.
"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.
"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.
"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.
Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."
Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.
Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.
Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-
"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."
Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.
"Wake up."
Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.
He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.
And he waits and he waits and he waits.
No one he recognizes appears.
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#blood#my fics#lucid dreamer#there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams#the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead#Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha#In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up#and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart#Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone#he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard#he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en#it was nice to get the chance to do all that#it was nice
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Geneva Island Legacy┃Chapter four┃Imagining Things
~ Transcript ~
To Be Continued in Chapter 5
Shoutout to @lynzishell for inspiring me from this post
Beginning / Previous / Next
#i don't wanna say too much about this scene so as not to spoil#but i will say that i was inspired to do this scene from an actual dream i had fr#and at first i had no idea how i would actually execute it but as the time came closer to setting it up#i became more confident and eventually put together something that i like#though im not very good at editing i hope that you can sense the danger#stay tuned for chapter 5 starting on friday!#sims 4 story#ts4 story#sims 4#Geneva Island Legacy#ts4 screenies#ts4 screenshots#GIL chapter four#the sims community#show us your sims#show us your story#tw pregnancy#tw ocean#tw drowning#gif warning
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I cooked today, boys ✌️
Didn’t feel like adding specific lyrics to this one but I will say I was thinking of this song while making this <3
#dreams of an insomniac#pastraart#alex williams#genuinely i have never cooked this hard with drawing hands before like holy crap#i think this turned out pretty cool in the end 👍 <3#whiteboard#doodle’s art#my stuffs#pleeeasse show up in the tags eventually pls pls pls
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Is it really brainrot if you haven't had a dream where you were a character in the show
#this is directed to Mr. Jonathan Sims and to grian#Both of these dreams where nightmares btw#What that says about me idk#Also after I woke up from the grian one I debated my gender for like... 3 hours with myself#The grian one was a murder mystery airport with cannibalism#The jon one was where Elias and Michael Distortion teamed up to show Jon himself from different universe's#And what he would look like if different fears claimed him#The flesh one had a pair of scissors in his eye and didn't even acknowledge it#When he saw the universe where all had gone well he started crying because “that could've been him if only he didn't fail. If only he was b#Eventually he lost his mind wandering the halls with lost opportunities and chances surrounding him#These were both in first person btw#I felt all the emotions they felt#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#the magnus institute#jonathan sims#jon sims#jon archivist#jon tma#jarchivist#elias bitchard#elias bouchard#Theyre was one au in the tma one where there was a vast!Jon who was tied up because according to Elias he kept “kicking down the stars”#He was all tied up like he was stuck in a spider web with his legs just inches above the ground#grian#hermitcraft grian#grianmc#The grian one wasn't as scary but it was the first of these dreams#dreams#one time i dreamt
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Chapters: 11/? Fandom: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Beetlejuice (1988), Detective Comics (Comics), DCU, Batman - Fandom Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martha Wayne/Thomas Wayne, Tim Drake & Alfred Pennyworth, Alfred Pennyworth & Martha Wayne & Thomas Wayne Characters: Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson Additional Tags: Crossover, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Beetlejuice (1988) Fusion, Beetlejuice References, Batfamily Bonding (DCU), Weird Plot Shit, Not Beta Read, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Ghosts, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Tim Drake-centric, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Neitherworld (Beetlejuice), Martha Wayne and Thomas Wayne Live, Meet the Family, Family Feels, Family Bonding, Good Grandparent Alfred Pennyworth, Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily (DCU) Feels, Batfamily-centric (DCU), Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Wayne Family (DCU), Wayne Family Drama (DCU), Martha and Thomas Wayne - Freeform, Dead Martha Wayne and Thomas Wayne, it's complicated - Freeform Summary:
Thomas and Martha Wayne died in Crime Alley... but then they walked through the front doors of Wayne Manor over thirty years later? No one is quite sure what the heck is going on, but perhaps a grandchild (or several) can help them?
#batfam#batfamily#tim drake#martha wayne#Thomas Wayne#fanfiction#batfam fanfic#batfamily fanfiction#crack crossover#Beetlejuice#fusion with Beetlejuice universe#Thomas and Martha are like the Maitland's#Gotham City has a living spirit/soul/thing.... and she makes that everyone's problem.#She's also a greedy manipulative possessive bitch at least to the employees at the DMV of the Damned#Martha is a manic pixie dream girl#Thomas is totally ride or die when it comes to Martha's shenanigans#Tim is like Lydia Deets#Beetlejuice is around... somewhere... He'll show up eventually >:)#Thomas and Martha love all their grandkids#But they will also parent the hell out of them#my writing#my fic#fic: Life After Life#Reached 10k hits today on AO3
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and also the concept page for my vash podcaster au :)
#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#scrib: linkings#eventually i would love to write something on this#<- he has a google doc written out for different scenes and arcs#basically the end cards of trigun 98 made me dream up a contemporary au where vash is the host of a late night radio show#i have brainstormed what each of the trigang would wear in this au but its so far: postdoc vash. masters student+paralegal meryl.#coffee worker post bachlors ww. paralegal + social worker milly#also this is an au meryl has a rock following under derringer meryl and she and vash duo'd music for a time#and everyone is trans. smile.
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great that they used the last minute of this episode to say nothing but ominous things that cater specifically to me and my morbid thoughts
#ive spent so much time thinking abt non- and undeaths these past 6 months that the other day my brain had to make up some circumstances#in a dream to make sense of all the wonky grief#Her Dad's Dead. Hes Really Actually Dead - shes the key btw#We're All Dead Eventually On A Beach We're All Dead Most Of The Time So Keep Up The Pace#Dying Defines Us the falling and the melting#And Whats Left Is Love huggg#okay doctor listen look me in the- oh youre already doing that great. okay so. be honest now. are you a ghost? rn? are you haunting my tv?#<- when the 'this tv show ran too long' goes meta#doctor who my favourite dead girl walking#dw spoilers
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"Why not?"
"I wish you were a girl."
#hughlander#at first i thought of hughie saying the first quote but the more i thought about it the more it made sense for it to be john HEAR ME OUT..#he was obviously trained to only enjoy the whole “american dream” so ofc that picture perfect look for him would be a woman next to him#while he himself is a piece of shit and cares only about his image he also just doesnt give a shit#(based on his behavior l8r on in the show) he also just doesnt care what anyone has to say especially since in his eyes he is THE strongest#no one can say anything to him and hes untouchable..which is why his odd obsession with hughie will prove to be zero issue#and while he tries to make a connection with hughie in his own overly possesive way hughie holds himself firm with his actions#(lowkey where things gets ooc oh well idc) homelander does try and make SOME sort of attempt in picking at his brain anf at hughie as to#figure out WHY he even is interested in “that loser” and in doing so he eventually finds that hughie for whatever stupid reason#notices that he GENUINELY does care about people and that its not some front like he really does and TRY to see some good in people#so john opens up slightly to him about what people at vought did to him as a kid and its those moments where homelander tries to make it-#light buy hughie looks at him and i mean really /looks/ at him and says “jesus thats fucked Im sorry” and john is absolutely dumbfounded#like so dumbfounded and the god honest yet short comment in regards to him opening up about his past#essentially john starts to feel what he always imagined what “feelings” are supposed to be and after a long time of him and hughie oddly#finding some sort of “middle ground” he tries to pull a move in a moment of odd peace amongst the two and hughie jerks back#john is so confused and i mean REALLY confused#he thought he read all those “signals” right based on the romantic films he was forced to watch why is hughie acting like this?#he doesnt want to even think about what this pain in his chest is and all he can ask is “why not?”
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hello i am not dead just lazy
#i have a few things i need to scan and edit but mostly lately i've been sketching from reference#trying to level up my visual library a bit and go a bit back to more 'academic' oriented shit#just for the moment#nothing interesting to show from that atm but maybe eventually#i had a dream this afternoon i think about several art pieces i had in progress that were levels above what i think i can actually do#i think it's my brain pushing me to innovate and do something new#sketchbook#original character#weird horse
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I had this idea that Koya becomes Leo’s tutor in mutant mayhem and i couldn’t let it go.
I’ll do more, but I like these pages and I’ve never made comics before so yippee
#tmnt#mutant mayhem#mm leonardo#Koya tmnt#she’ll show up eventually but rn she’s a mention#fan comic#my art#this came to me in a fever dream#Will it be cannon compliant? yes and no#Also would like to make it known that Leo has autism#and Koya is an undiagnosed neurodivergent
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"Did you get enough love, my little dove?
Why do you cry?"
youtube
#this makes me think abt tav passing away eventually#and astarion having regrets about not ascending bc he could have made her immortal w him#and she shows up in his trance/dreams to remind him he did the right thing#what if i made myself so sad huh?#bg3#bg3 tav#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion ancunin#tavstarion#tav x astarion#astarion x tav#tav/astarion#astarion/tav#tav: tanit#bg3 screenshots#bg3 screencaps#bg3 screenies#astarion origin#baulders gate 3#Youtube
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wowowow.... im the luckiest person alive rn
#we went out to a show friday night and it just felt so natural being out with him#and then we housed some chinese food together and watched an episode of next gen#and then we were up in his room fooling around before bed and we were both soooo tired#like drifting in and out of consciousness#and hes sitting over me about to lean down and kiss me but i cupped his face in my hands and we just sat like that for a while#and i know i was not hiding the emotion on my face bc i saw his face change immediately#and he asked me what i was thinking and i said something to the effect of 'im just looking at you and thinking oh wow'#and he said 'i dont think thats the word youre thinking of' and i told him he was right#and i wish i could remember more of the conversation. but its also kind of cool that the whole thing was like a dream#but eventually we both just said we loved each other#its just crazy how natural its been. how easy it is#and then i went over again last night because neither of us was going out and i just sat and read while he worked on his pedalboard#and i was in my stupid catdog pajamas. and then we ate pasta and watched music videos in bed and brushed our teeth together#and it was just so. comfortable and playful and casual and normal#just sharing a space without any expectation
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I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.
#this also may have been a separate dream#i was in this big aquarium swimming and walking around. it was like. you could swim in a lot of the exhibit and interact with the animals#i had some sort of mission and i also found a baby seal who i picked up and was carrying around as i wandered around#eventually i ended up in this little nook that had one of the adult seals/walrusess? so i let the baby go but the adult was not into it and#i heard someone day something like “aw he still has hope”#theres this kid that works at the aquarium and i tell him to come with me for some reason. its around this time i realize this is some movie#the kids boss is like “next time you leave your post you gotta dive out”#and im worried a bit allready sbout him leavin his post with the adult walrus up there.#then suddenly the glass starts breaking everywhere. like one crack then the whole aquarium starts falling apart#and the kid seems a bit worried.#as were all evacuating i decide that its my fault. because the walrus must have been ramming the glass while the kid wasnt watching.#i remember thinking about how this was a movie or something and feeling really dumv#then yhe dream was over snd there was s recap??? in like drawing form and it showed the main character (me) putting a bomb in the center of#the aquarium in some sort of well or something. so. i guess it really was completely my fault in a different way than i thought#then later im at some sort of party or something and then i leave the party for another party or something? and i feel really bad sn#and socially innept the entire time. the person who i think i reconize we start talking and theyre like the first person whos nice to me#and were talking about following eachother on Instagram? or somth#while their scrolling i see a video eith one of my old friends and shes on the news? the headline is like “me and cathy snd the murder#victim...“ or something. and im like ”hey thats my friend“ and the person just shuts their phone off.#any ways so this person lets me hitch a ride with them back to the original party. they get out of the uber super early but its the right#house and the tell the driver that hes lost and the DRIVER gets out. so im like oh i guess this is their car??#and so they drive up to the drive way and three more people start getting in the car and theyre like putting stuff in the trunk#and talking about where to sit and i just start giggling.#and im still trying to participate like i offer to sit in the middle. theres already someone sitting at the front but he gets out and#everytime someone says anything i start giggling??? and like its sunny and everyone is very attractive in a way that o just found so funny#and then eventually two of then run over to this like panel dash board yhing that on a wall outside and like messing with it opening the#glove box and stuff and i just wake up#and immediately upon waking. well first i was like “teehee. i woke up from giggling” then i thought about it and i was like “oh. i was#take the front seat :(#dream log
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Am lonely :( need frend
#idk when like. my social bar stopped being sufficiently filled by online interaction#but am feeling the lonely today#the person I hung out with before also showed up in my dream#so#either I'm more lonely or more gay than I thought /j#uhh anyway yes I am. eventually going to figure out how to make friends without school.#...eventually ;-;
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