#nothing interesting to show from that atm but maybe eventually

[messagefromtheunderworld]

hello i am not dead just lazy

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? no you're not lol

Do you play video games? nope

Is your house more than two stories tall? only just

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? nope

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) charming, witty, funny hehe

What colour is your hairbrush/comb? sandy brown

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? flapjack bites

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? Nope

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? they are gawjuss but I am not attracted in a romantic sense

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yikes probs

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? hmm male I think

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? brother lol

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? the other day

Do you play any games on Facebook? no.

What would you like to get a degree in? I'm good with the degree I have now

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? more so early in the morning

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? tv show or book tie then movie then video game haha

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theatre? nope usually pick n mix

What genre of films do you like the best? biopic or historical period drama

How many bank accounts do you have? one. 

Have you ever had the flu? once 

What is your goal for the next few months? find my next job

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? Nah. 

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. I kid you not, last Monday night I didn't make the rice correctly and suffered the consequences the next day - luckily took some meds and bounced back at work but really felt awful in the morning.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Kleenex tissues and dark chocolate

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. funny and smart

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm I guess I have but not to the point where it has impacted me that much since nothing springs to mind

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? dangerous game since there's a chance changing something means I wouldn't be born!!

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? not really

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? nope

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? haha maybe tumblr itself 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping dusting

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? unlikely 

Did you pull a senior prank? No such thing in my school haha sound very American

Did you graduate? i did. 

What was the last song you listened to? taylor swift - Is it over now?  (playing now) 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? nope

Is fashion one of your interests? yes but I'm not as knowledgeable as some

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? Isn't that the dream?

Do you care what people think? trying not to and I guess it depends who

Is acting something you enjoy? being perceived is not for me haha

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? nothing

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? Not fought but had disagreements with friends because of their s/o and mine for sure

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? not that I know of haha

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? no one other than family

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? not yelled 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? yes, badminton and tennis and I miss it - could have gone pro (joke)

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? not really. I can appreciate celebs from afar but it's nothing too serious just a bit of fun

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? haha nope

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? nope

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Yao

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? not currently, mother did briefly like 30 plus years ago

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? You're on Your Own Kid (Taylor <3)

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. horse

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? taller but not too much

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? sometimes

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? I believe that they try but sometimes you can't help it

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? proximity to the big city

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? We're the millers always springs to mind haha

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? Ladybird 

What’s your favourite restaurant? I really need to experience more to decide a favourite

Is there a dessert you don’t like? salted caramel anything is pretty much a nope

Favorite album? taylor swift Lover and folklore but still getting into TTPD so this could change

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? The Fault in Our Stars - classic John Green era

Underwater or outer space? underwater

Kittens or puppies? puppies

Bird watching or whale watching? WHALES

What is your spirit animal? whale or seal. defo marine mammal

What was your best subject in school? english literature

What was your worst subject in school? physics

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? to be stronger in my convictions

Who is your fashion icon? Whoever is wearing an outfit I like

Diamonds or pearls? diamonds

What color dress did you wear to prom? BURNING RED

[enthusiastofthegreat]

I genuinely hope she never gets wings bc I like the idea of her being grounded. obviously nothing's keeping her from entering heaven aside from just,, travel and being allowed access. She's in the same boat as Vaggie was in that regard. maybe she was supposed to have wings, maybe not. but for whatever reason she doesn't have them and it's kinda like a phantom limb situation for her. think she's so enamored with her dad's specifically bc even tho she must be somewhat familiar with them by now (wings as a concept between Husk, her lack of reaction to Emily & Sera coming in, potentially Lilith etc. and I doubt her dad has never shown them to her before or even just had 'em out absently) she still connects to the idea of having them. What would they look like? What would it be like to be able to fly? Maybe part of the reason Razzle and Dazzle were able to transform into dragon-goatees is bc she can't fly and its a facsimile of sorts for her. She is, technically, silently, barred from ever entering Heaven herself without help so her entire mission is not only like. Ok the idea of people tapping into the aspect of how Charlie might be 'stuck' alone one day in hell has already been explored, it's not a particularly groundbreaking one tho still tugs at the heartstrings knowing full well she likely knows that's what she's doing and aiming for. To get all of her loved ones outta there and thus far away from her. But with the absence of wings now it's somehow more then that it runs even deeper; now it's "I can't fly up there. No one can bring me up there forever, I might not even be allowed to, so.. I'm gonna help as many people do exactly what I can't" y'know? shit just strikes different like that one prison break scene from some Star Wars show I don't remember the name of atm tho it'll come back to me eventually since it's one of the few good ones from what I remember. also I just like the contrast. she has to fend a lotta aerial attacks so find it more personally interesting for her to be on par with her father one day but still have to work around that hurdle, and just think it could prove for a more creative design down the line over all.

Honestly how do you feel about Charlie possibly having wings since she’s also half Angel

Honestly I dont want her angel side to manifest much because I like the contrast of her physically being more demon while her personality is angelic. If she does get wings though I want it to be the classic bat-like wings, since she already has the forked tail and red horns for the typical devil look.

[sparklingpax]

random anon here with a masterforce hc, buster being a older sibling figure to wilder or something

as i mean when i first watched the show their similar hair styles made me think they were siblings-

AWAAAAAA YES DEFINITELYYY‼️

SO LIKE I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS 👀 In fact, that one deception-related Masterforce fic I'm working on atm touched on this exact thing 🙏

I ADORE the idea that the Decepticon HM Jrs have like a special relationship with the Godmasters who are, in some ways, on a closer level to them than the other members of the team. At first maybe the brothers didn't much care to give the kids the time of day, maybe didn't think to?? But over time......that shifts.

I feel like Cancer probably gravitated to Hydra somewhat (and ironically maybe??). Something like, Hydra at first wanted nothing to do with what he thought would be an "annoying kid", however talented...Cancer kinda kept approaching him or ending up in situations around the base near him. Hydra comes around slowly, realizing, hey...Cancer's a pretty thoughtful and bright kid. And they have this little brotherly bond going that Hydra doesn't quite have with the others. Perhaps in some ways, he is reminded of when Buster was little, and it feels like he's looking after his kid brother again. And that...he doesn't mind either.

Also I feel like Bullhorn is actually a pretty amicable guy, he just acts aggressive and mean because he has to; so he has his own type of connection with either of the Godmaster bros.

Then adding to that, and as you've said, Buster probably ended up becoming a kinda "older sibling" vibe towards Wilder. Buster understands the innate wounded pride Wilder has, the will to accomplish something. I get the sense Buster might struggle a lot with self-esteem and seeing that he has in fact, accomplished a lot and is a strong person. Wilder actually does see that, but also sees Buster as a stronger figure....someone to be feared, someone to learn from. He's not sure if he can even tell Buster that, so he quietly looks up to him. He and the other two kids probably have a degree of respectful fear towards the Godmaster brothers, but he fears less and more respects Buster compared to Hydra, and takes to heart the pieces of advice Buster sometimes gives without even knowing that he's giving advice. They're pretty close in age too, I'd wager (note: I'm not paying attention whatever 'canon' ages there are atm because some of the ages given to Masterforce characters make so little sense to me tbh....Ranger is NOT 17 for example like. No fucking way man. Oh my god 😭) and something tells me they'd have a lot of similar interests. You mentioned style, and that is included in those "similar interests" for sure 😹✨ I also get the sense that Buster is more friendly/less closed-off/guarded than Hydra, so he's more easy to befriend generally. I'm guessing he probably has a good relationship with all three kids :]

Like, I have a clear image of Buster tagging along with the kids for lunch and then insisting on handling the bill when the kids come up a couple dollars short, or all of them like, exchanging songs they all like to listen to. They also probably group train/practice sparring together from time to time of course.

Ofc, no bond is stronger than the ones between Hydra and Buster as brothers, and then separately, the one between the trio of kids.

I will always love the established family-like bond between the members of the team of cons in masterforce!!! And, I feel like that might have been a reason everyone (minus King Poseidon and the Decepticon Pretenders) eventually realized the missions they have to carry out on Devil Z's orders conflict with values they hold in their hearts. Now, even though ultimately Hydra and Buster chose the "other path" and gave themselves to Devil Z, I also hold that there was some sort of hesitation there, something that doesn't feel like it was what they really wanted, but what they (especially Hydra) thought they really wanted/needed.

But that's a tangent kinda!!! Sorry....i went off rambling.....idk if like half of what I've written here makes any sense but aaaaaaA....i have So many thoughts abt this........anyways yea, This is all to say....slay idea anon, I 100% agree 🙏😊✨

Thanks for dropping in!! (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

-Kuni ✨

[osdove]

why i love azulaang

I got an ask earlier on what got me into Azulaang.  For me, what got me into it isn’t really related to why I love it so much, so that’s going into this post.  Azulaang from a narrative perspective, their roles in the universe, story, and as foils to each other.

Side note, but this got LONG, so it’s under a cut and thank you to anyone who reads this all oh god oh no

In the canonical series itself (aka, the show), Azulaang actually doesn’t get much interaction besides battles.  I believe the only times they directly address each other is in The Chase, and maybe DOBS-though, day was more of Sokka, Toph AND Aang talking with Azula.  The only one-on-one exchange of dialogue they have is in The Chase.  It’s where Azula introduces herself, and Aang tells her that he’s going to fight.  He’s not just prey that will go with her easily.  A nice contrast to the predator and prey theme of the episode.  Azula is relenting, never stopping in her pursuit, and though he and the Gaang run and run, eventually he decides to face her alone.  I think this is a good summary of their dynamic in s2.

But that was actually just a tangent.  See, the main form of storytelling we see for Azulaang is.  Well.  Physical.  They don’t talk, they fight.  Which is natural, since they’re enemies, but Aang talks a lot.  Like, a lot a lot, even in fights.  Azula, too, she makes verbal jabs and insults to Zuko in their fights and Suki too.  But when she’s fighting Aang, there’s... nothing? And same with Aang.  Almost all of their storytelling, their dynamics, is told through fights, and seeing as how ATLA is an action series, fights have just as much meaning in the storytelling as anything else.

You might be thinking, “but isn’t that just them fighting?  doesn’t that mean they hate each other?  you can’t have a dynamic out of fight scenes alone!” you fool.  You foolish fool.  1) Enemies to lovers.  2) You put two prodigies of their respective elements, one a princess groomed from birth to be her father’s right-hand, the other destined to become the most powerful person on earth, both designed to be weapons by the adults around them, and you think that fighting/bending WOULDN’T be as much as a form of communication, an expression of themselves, as a conversation around a campfire?

Azula killing Aang at the end of S2 is the last time they really fight, which I think is pretty interesting.  I’m sure there’s more I could say about it from a narrative perspective, but that’s more on post-show potential than anything else, plus brain not co-operating atm.

And, yeah, I gotta bring attention to their positions as narrative foils.  Parallels.  Whatever.  They’re similar.  Like, really similar.  And of course, Zuko + Azula & Aang + Katara + Sokka all have similarities that can tie them to one another, but Azulaang is one of the ones which I think doesn’t get the commentary it deserves. (side-note, but I wish more people discussed Azula & Katara in how they approach being ‘women’ despite being very young in the absence of their mother, where Katara puts herself in a motherly role because she and Sokka both have a hole to fill, and Azula makes herself seem older than she truly is, lipsticks and make-up and long nails and all, because Ursa leaving took the last of her childhood away)

So, let’s look at them:

Young prodigies of their respective bending arts (for Aang, his airbending of course).  They are recognized for this and praised for so.  With Azula, it’s shown in Zuko Alone when Ozai shows her off, and also her introduction scenes in s2 to show off just how formidable she was.  With Aang, it’s the fact he’s a master at such a young age.  Of course, there’s differences too.  Azula’s natural talent is honed by the adults around her.  She is being raised for war.  Aang’s is, well, I assume normal for Air Nomads.  The monks knew he was the Avatar, but given that he didn’t find out until he was 12, I don’t think that really affected his airbending.

You take these prodigies, and you put them in war.  They are given responsibilities that seem impossible to handle.  No adults can handle them, after all.  Aang must end the war that’s been happening for a hundred years.  He must be the one to defeat the Fire Lord - something that Roku couldn’t do.  Azula must capture her brother and uncle.  In time, she gives herself more responsibilities: kill the Avatar.  Conquer Ba Sing Se (which Iroh himself couldn’t do).  Aang must help end the war.  He’s a key part in ending it.  Azula must end the war.  She’s a key part in ending it.  They are on different sides of the battle.

The adults around them, the same ones who give them these responsibilities, they do not see them other than their power.  Generals look at Aang and the Avatar State, and decide to use him as a weapon.  Ozai looks at Azula and her talents, and decides to raise her as a weapon.  These two in particular get this more than any other characters in the series I think.  Absolutely there’s other characters who are strong, prodigies, young, with the world on their shoulders.  But none are quite as... not sure about the word.  I don’t wanna say dehumanized.  Weaponized?  As Azula and Aang.

Thing is, though, that Aang has unconditional love on his side.  When he was younger, he had Monk Gyatso, he had Appa.  He had the other kids in the Temples, he had friends around the world, he was allowed to be a normal kid.  Azula didn’t have that.  Ozai’s ‘love’ was conditional.  She believed that Ursa thought she was a monster.  Yes, she had friends in Mai and Ty Lee, but whether they began as genuine friendships or not, they ended with her clinging onto them through fear.  Aang had the Gaang throughout the series.  People joined him, he made relationships, he was loved by so many because of his journey.  Everyone left Azula.

So, you take these two characters, these foils, who are so close to understanding each other but one’s missing the key that makes the other stand victorious in the end of the show.  Azula’s story is a tragedy, Aang’s is that of a hero.  And I think the beauty of that, in Azulaang, is that Aang reaches out to Azula.  Despite her killing him, the hurt she’s caused, and all their fights, Aang understands her.  Most fics and such I’ve read of this pair - well, it’s not as easy as just that.  Their relationship is a complicated rollercoaster.  Recovery and redemption does not come easy.  In those fics that don’t take place after the pair has been established already, there’s something just really.  Really hits me hard.  About Azula being forgiven, loved, and challenged, by the boy she’s killed, and the boy who won the war.

Less of a meta-note and more fluffy.  But domestic!Azulaang gives me joy.  Obviously they’d presumably have responsibilities with the world post-war (married office couple talking shit about governors vibes), but I fully believe that Aang would take Azula on a Appa-trip (atla universe equivalent of a road trip) and show her the world outside of the Fire Nation Palace, war council rooms, and yknow.  War.

Also, I like bullying Ozai, and if there’s one thing that would cause him more pain than finding out his son’s partner was a nonbender with a worse sense of humor than Iroh from the Southern Water Tribe, it would be his daughter, the one he molded to fit into his absolute image, dating the AVATAR, a monk, who took away his bending and keeps showing him a weird marble trick, “Azula make him stop please this is torture, what do you MEAN you want me to spend time with your future son-in-law, i am NOT allowing you to - DONT WALK AWAY FROM ME, HELP ME”

Zuko isn’t getting bullied as much, but I think Azula and Aang would love teasing him.  Affectionately.  He wouldn’t mind as much because it comes from a place of love and care.

This shit took like an hour to write jfc

[wizkiddx]

Congratulations on 500 followers!! Could you do nr 2 with Tom please <3

thankyou <33 im very in my feels abt friends to lover atm, so ik this is a completely unoriginal concept but here we are

warning: nothing much- maybe homesickness? (+ the fact tom has poor choice in popcorn )

^^^ sorry I couldn't not put this on here and I will reuse it lots n lots

/////////////////////////

“Right I got two options annnnddddd there is only one correct answer.” Tom hummed up at you, pulling his tired gaze away from the phone screen and up towards the kitchen where you were standing triumphantly - having just raided his cupboards. From behind your back you whipped out a bag of popcorn in each hand.

“Sweet…. or salty?” Sighing with a small chuckle Tom shook his head at your playfulness. He didn’t know how you did it but you always always made his smile.

“I’m not a psychopath…” You huffed in relief, already turning around to throw the salty back in the cupboard where it belonged. “So salty of course.”

You were trapped in a house with an absolute psychopath.

You scowled at him, for having such poor taste, expecting some sort of argument to start. That wasn’t the case though, instead he just stared at you expectantly.

He must really really be unhappy.

You’d sensed it on set that morning - it wasn’t hard to miss. Not when it was your best friend, who for the past two months you’d been spending at least 6 hours a day with whilst shooting. Even when you were supposed to have a day off, when Tom had some solo shots or vice versa, you’d still come to keep the other company. It didn’t make sense but you both just sort of liked it that way.

This wasn’t your first rodeo working together either. Your first joint project had been almost four years ago, when both of you were barely adults, still figuring everything out. Ever since it had been bumping into each other every so often, always with an easy and effortless relationship.

Your current director had noted your chemistry at an awards show (the man never switched off) and decided in that moment he HAD to cast you together for a project. And a year later, here you both were, shooting in Australia for what was set to be a record breaking new release.

And it had been going great - better than great even. But as soon as Tom had shown up to makeup this morning, you’d known something was up. It was fair to assume it was something from home, maybe even just a bit of homesickness, or perhaps something more severe. Either way, the situation was probably exacerbated by the fact he didn’t have his brother or bestfriend or manager or normal syltist with him right now. Tom was pretty renowned within the industry for always having a massive entourage - which was normally made up with his family and friends. This time though he was going it solo.

Today had been long and you’d had to do press at stupid oclock in the morning last night for your current release - which meant your plan had always been to leave promptly and collapse into bed as soon as physically possible.

But Tom needed your company. So you hadn’t. Instead, you’d somewhat subtly invited yourself to his rented house for a movie night - blaming it on your director wanting you both to study the relationship dynamics in ‘out of sight’ (a J Lo and Clooney romance movie).

“You think you know a person and then they loose all your respect… just like that.” You sigh jokingly, gesturing to the bag of ‘foul’ popcorn your costar seemed to like.

“Well we’ve come to a crossroads.”

“It’s been nice knowing you but this…” you scoffed and dramatically rolled your eyes “… I see no way out.”

“Isn’t it better if we have a bag each? Then I might manage to actually get some before you scoff them all.”

You yelped in protest, though really you were just grateful he was still up for a bit of a laugh. He had been much less jokey the whole day, though was seeming to warm up a bit.

Once you had poured the two bags of popcorn into two separate bowels and prepared the film on TV; you plopped yourself onto Tom’s sofa, so your back was against the corner and your feet were over his lap (it wasn’t weird, just normal for the two of you). Instinctively, Tom lightly grabbed your ankles, repositioning you on his thigh slightly before leaning across the pull the blanket over the both of you. Whilst he smoothed out the crinkles in the fluffy navy fabric you took the opportunity to poke your toe into his side - garnering his attention.

“I take it you don’t wanna talk about it?” After he froze, Tom then nodded jerkily. “But if you change your mind, you know I’m here right?” His demeanour changed at your second statement as his body literally sagged into the cushions, with a grateful if small smile.

He respond by mouthing an ‘I know’ and that was enough for you. Shuffling down the side a bit you pressed play, settling in for the evening. Tom still had a hand resting on your ankles, occasionally rubbing his thumb up and down the bony bit.

Honestly you didn’t really see what your director was going on about when he raved about their on screen chemistry and it seemed that neither did Tom. It wasn’t a scathing commentary that gave it away, instead it was his silence. Which you quickly realised was the he had drifted off, his head lolling a little so he was facing you, palms now completely lax on your legs. It was whilst you were just taking in the sight before you, that a buzzing cut through the otherwise soft noise from the TV - which you had turned down for Tom’s sake.

It wasn’t your phone but you instinctively still reached for it from the coffee table and seeing that the name just read “Harry H” you thought it’d be fine to answer.

“Harry?” You whispered into the receiver, slightly cupping your hand round your mouth just to make sure you weren’t too loud for Tom.

“Hello?”

“Harry it’s me”

“Who?” You’d met Harry countless times, though given the fact Tom had been alone all shoot - you shouldn’t of expected the kid to be able to recognise your voice.

“Oh sorry Y/n um Y/n L/n”

“Oh no my fault sorry Y/n. How are you?” The conversation was jilted, you could practically feel the awkward energy radiating all the way from the otherside of the world.

“I’m alright thanks, how about you.”

“Yeh not bad I uhm… I - is my brother there?” Oooh. How to answer that question.

“Um sort of, we er… we were having a movie night and he’s fallen asleep. It’s why I’m whispering like a weirdo.” Harry laughed at that and you continued. “Is everything okay? You need me to wake him?”

“No no, mum just said he was having a rough time so was going to cheer him up with my exquisite sense of humour but if you’ve bored him to death then no need.”

“What can I say I’m just talented. Anyway I should be heading back to mine anyway so um I’ll let you go?”

“Oh yeh no worries, and uhm thanks-um thanks for keeping an eye on him.”

“Someone has to” You chuckled softly back, before bidding a final farewell to Harry.

Having hung up the phone, you leaned over to gently place it back on the coffee table but making a mental note to put it on charge before you left. Your next job was to manoeuvre your legs away from him without disturbing him but before you could even start planning the movement, you noticed his weary eyes blinked over at you. Freezing, your mouth made a little ‘o’ shape as you winced at yourself for disrupting his peace - today really wasn’t the day for that. There was a silence as Tom swallowed thickly, attempting to shake off the heavy lull of rest before he spoke. “Will you stay with me… please.”

Undoubtedly, your body didn’t play it as cool as you wanted it to. Thinking you’d heard him wrong, your chin protruded forward and his eyes widened. “ Sorry not like-not like that just um-just on the sofa… theres-theres spare blankets and I can-“

“-course T, no worries…Oh and um your brother just phoned if you-“

“I know.” He spoke softly and with a nod, but didn’t move at all, apparently no interest in calling his brother back.

With a stammered nod, you stood up, finally removing your legs from his touch in order to nip to the loo. You splashed your face with water, ate some toothpaste ( better than not brushing your teeth at all) before going to collect Tom’s quilt off his bed. By the time you re-entered the living room, Tom hadn’t appeared to have moved at all. The hood of his purple jumped was still up, the blanket still only half covering him, the excess lying cold were you had been sitting. He laughed lightly at you trying to wrangle with the king size duvet and get it in without tripping over yourself or knocking anything over.

“You sure you don’t mind? I’m just being stupid and-“

“Honestly I’m too tired to walk back to mine so this is perfect.”

“You live across the road.”

“Thats like 50 steps too far.” You deadpanned back, as he raised his eyebrows and locked you direct eye contact - which you very stubbornly returned.

The both of you sat like that for a minute, Tom eventually gave up with a sigh as he motioned for you to lie back.

There wasn’t an issue at all with space. A listers rental homes were never lacking in space - the grey sofa was a U shape, with ample space for the both of you to lie down. Each of you took a respective corner, your legs meeting in the middle and gently brushing against each others.

“Thanks for babysitting me today by the way.”

“I wasn-“ You were about to deny it, except one look and Tom saw straight through you.

“Thankyou Y/n/n” Seeing there was no way out of receiving his thanks, you instead opted to just shut him up. Nudging his leg with yours and leaving it touching you murmured you last words of the evening - eyes already closed.

“Fuck off Holland, ‘m tryna sleep.”

~~~~ let me know if you have any feedback or anything (but pls not too mean this isn't proof read so blame that) <33 ~~~~~~

tagging : @thefernandasantana @lovehollandy12 @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter @hollandfanficlove @msmimimerton @thegirlwiththeimpala

[mayasdeluca]

The budget for Station 19 was higher on season 1-2 (3 maybe) but apparently they were spending too much money and that’s also why they changed all the writing room and other stuff in the production, you can tell cause many storylines were “forgotten” lol

You think ABC would invest in a show that was supposed to eventually replace Greys or at least compete with it…

You can tell that they had less and less guests and location in the last 2 season.

Mostly everything is done in studio that’s why the production feels so “small” and claustrophobic, because it is, simply put; it’s cheap (not even considering COVID)

Greys costs nothing to do the set have been there for almost 20 years and they are already in syndication, people leave and new cheaper actors are brought in, but more you go on, the less interesting they become, even Greys ain’t doing much on location as it used to…

S19 is #2 show for ABC but not even close to greys!

“The Rookie”has even lower rating than S19 but you can clearly see they nvest more and I don’t understand why, prob to make NF happy, he’s know to be a bit of a drama Queen and he’s the golden goose of ABC (not for long tho).

ABC doesn’t invest much $$$ on S19 there’s barely any advertisements I think they thought it could just gain popularity on the wake of Greys but alas it didn’t happen, there was never a full investment mainly because it’s on another league of Greys to be honest…

Also, no offense to her but the star power of Jaina is not even in the same universe of Ellen when she started the show, it’s actually funny to me how Danielle and Barrett (in sense of female lead) have more charisma and talent than the main lead, you could say the same about Sandra and Katherine obviously, but the triangle of Mer/Derek/Addison was what most people loved at the beginning, the supporting cast was what gave energy to Greys.

This didn’t really happen immediately on S19 and you could easily say that the most interesting relationships on S19 are/were Andy/Maya/Vic, Vic/Travis, Vic/Dean and the show gained a bit more popularly with Maya/Carina but as you can see there’s barely any of these on screen atm, Okieriete made a great move on leaving the show, cause it’s losing its momentum, also prob other problem bts, he knew…

It’s difficult, so late on the show to gain more viewer but it’s easy to lose them, and this season ain’t helping at all.

The story feel forced and all the character disconnected, it’s repetitive and they are trying to push the “season issues” down your throat (let’s be honest they are clearly writers room issues) it’s frustrating to watch as a fan and as a person, it’s like we cannot understand what’s going on unless they point it directly at us in an overly annoying and boring way.

You would think that the “COVID season”would have been the one suffering the most but actually it was one of the best especially for character development and relationships something that imo Grays failed to do the same season.

I think you can tell that:

-there are problem bts

-budget changes

-lack of idea and lack of continuity (It’s like the writers of arch episodes don’t take into consideration what was written in the other episode)

-Station 23 was a horrible choice, unappealing characters, boring storyline, lack of chemistry.

Mostly these shows, rely on the “we are family” kind of idea, and this was destroyed on S19, the main couples (not just romantic but also friendship) aren’t interacting with one another, and to create other compelling relationships takes time to do, especially if they don’t make any sense and they are forced, it’s time that was taken away from the main cast and stories that we loved.

Let’s be honest few actors will have a great career after S19, and this slow pace and shorty writing aim helping their case, you will see more actors/actress leave the show if (big if) last more seasons…

It could have been great but alas they fucked it up and they are keep doing it…

These are some great points and it makes a lot of sense. Though it's interesting that they would have a budget to have another full on Station in the show but wouldn't use that to I don't know...expand the variety for the one station you already have that is the main point of the show. I get they were using it as a plot point for Andy to be "in charge" of a station or whatever but yeah, it didn't work.

I'll never understand why ABC never really let Station 19 stand on its own or really gave it the chance and put the work into it because honestly...it has pretty decent ratings when you look at it compared to the other shows on the network so if they actually put effort into it, it could probably be even better.

There definitely has to be some sort of writing change, it does seem they've switched up directors which isn't that big of a deal I guess but yeah, there's a lot of mix matching and that could be a reason for a lot of the inconsistencies we're seeing. I do agree Season 4 was actually pretty good considering it was a COVID season and they did it better than Greys did for sure. I don't really know what's going on this season but I do think BTS is playing a bigger part than people may realize, especially since the cast is trying to pretend everything is all fine and dandy. For a show that's such an ensemble, family type of show...it's pretty obvious when that's not the case in certain scenes/dynamics.

And yes, the comparisons in leads is definitely different and without trying to bash anyone...I think there's some animosity because of how the audience reacts to certain actresses in comparison but it's also much easier to connect to certain actresses/characters that have a lot of charisma and can really make pretty much any scene they do come off the page and make you really connect to them. And there's only a few actors on this show that can do that. And honestly Greys doesn't even have those kind of actors anymore which is why that show has gotten really boring too.

Overall I have always said this show has so much potential because they have a handful of actors who are so good in any scene they have and there's several dynamics that are great (like the ones you mentioned) but those don't get prioritized and they try to do too much and force things instead of focusing on what they're good at. I don't know if the writing will ever get it right or we're just gonna have to rely on the actresses/actors to make the most out of what they can but it's a sad situation either way.

[biisexualemma]

i hate boys. oscar diaz

word count: 1493

warnings: none i can think of there is always swearing that is a given sorry can’t help myself

requested: can u believe this came out my noggin

plot: reader hate boys

a/n: just wanted to say thank you to all y’all who are actually reading this i’m shook lool i also post these on wattpad there are a few more imagines on there atm just bc i post more on there whoops find me @/deadinyellow! but anyway enjoy! if you didn’t already guess, i hate boys.

masterlist

you sipped on your red cup, rolling your eyes as he slid closer to you. you just came to the kitchen to get a refill, not to be hit on, again.

"'sup mami?" you tilted the cup back, downing the rest of your drink. his hands moved to grab your waist but you swiftly stepped back.

"nothing." you faked a smile, turning away to refill your cup again.

"what you doing here alone, linda?" you poured the vodka into your cup, filling it up a little higher before topping it up with your mixer.

"i'm not."

this wasn't a lie. you came to this party with your friends. you came to get drunk, dance with your friends and go home alone. that's the way you liked it. you didn't need another drunken baby boy hitting on you, thinking he was something he's not.

he whined, you felt his hands touch your waist but you quickly moved further away from him. "come on, hermosa, stop fighting it." he leaned closer to you but you ducked and headed in the opposite direction to him.

you shook your head. "no thanks." you walked out of the kitchen and back to where you left your friends on the dance floor. you always had encounters like that with guys at parties. it was because you were one of the fews girls around that wasn't attached to any guys. you were free to pick at. or that's what your friends told you. you thought it was kinda disgusting.

you weren't in the mood for dancing anymore, so you stood on the sidelines watching your friends dance and sing. they tried to get you to join in but left you alone when you declined enough times.

you sipped your drink alone. finally getting some peace, no one bothering you.

"¿que pasa? why aren't you dancing?"

you huffed, rolling your eyes. "why is it so hard for guys to understand that i'm not interested." you glanced at the guy next to you, quickly noticing your mistake. it was spooky. you were pretty sure he wasn't interested in you. you regretted snapping at him.

"shit, alright, ma." he smirked.

you sighed. "sorry," you mumbled, still kind of irritated by your encounter earlier in the kitchen. "i just hate boys."

"fair." he shrugged. you turned to face him, you lifted your cup to you mouth, trying to figure his expression out.

you humphed. "i've had it up to here with boys tonight— maybe even forever. they only think with their dicks." spooky stifled a laugh. he glanced over at you, you stood looking at him with a tired expression on your face.

"true." he agreed again.

you frowned. you weren't expecting him to stick around this long, never mind have him stand there and agree with you. "what do you want? hm?" you tilted your head slightly. "you gonna tell me i'm too pretty to be here alone? or that i should just kiss you now, right?" you sipped your drink, rolling your eyes when he just smirked at you.

"nope," he shook his head. "'cause i'm not a coño."

you raised an eyebrow at him.

"it means—"

"i know what it means," you shook your head. you'd never really spoken to spooky before. he was as pretty intimidating person to see at around, so you tried to avoid him and his friends as best you could. it was hard though because they were pretty much everywhere in this neighbourhood. "doesn't mean i believe you."

"oh yeah?" he quirked an eyebrow. you were intrigued by him. he seemed nice. maybe even funny. not his usual spooky self. "why's that, nena?"

"i know too many assholes like you," you downed the rest of your drink, chucking the cup in a nearby bin. "nice to meet you finally. but i've had enough of guys thinking i owe them anything. just because you're being nice to me, doesn't mean i'm falling for it. all guys are assholes. just takes some longer than others to show their true colours. and i'm pretty sure you're just like every other guy i know."

oscar couldn't believe you were saying these things to him. no one ever spoke to him like this other than cesar, and that was because he was the only person who could get away with it. he wore a smirk on his face as you ranted at him.

"you think you can speak to me like that?" he was teasing but his expression was pretty serious. you scoffed.

"you don't scare me, spooky."

"so you do know my name."

"i know enough about you to know i don't wanna go there."

he hissed, frowning slightly. "damn, what's that supposed to mean?"

you rolled your eyes as he carried on the conversation. you tried to walk away a couple times but he kept bringing you back. "it means, you have a reputation and i'm not blind to it."

"reputation?" he raised an eyebrow, his arms crossed over his chest now as he stepped closer to you. despite what you'd said, oscar could be pretty intimidating when he wanted to be.

"you don't stick with girls for long. so that doesn't make you any different to the rest of the guys at this party," you stepped closer to him, challenging him. you had an angry expression on your face now. you were on your high horse and you were riled up and ready to take him down a peg. "you guys think you can get away with anything. well you can't. you can't treat girls like they're disposable. we have feelings. not that i expect you to care about anyones feelings, spooky."

he was quiet for a moment. he was practically towering over you but you stood your ground. you were sticking it to him. "you've got a complex."

you rolled your eyes. "of course you would say that. can't be a girl and speak your mind otherwise you're loca, right? fuck you."

"i think it's hot, actually," he shrugged. his face softened, a smirk returning back onto his lips. he saw a waver in your anger. something about him was making you soft. you couldn't let him know that though. "speak your mind, mami, i'm not like other guys. you're just gonna have to stick around and see for yourself."

you paused. still angry with him you wanted to rant some more but you stopped yourself. what was the point? you turned away from him, ready to leave this party. he grabbed your hand though and pulled you back.

"ey. don't," you pulled your hand away. "don't touch me." you waved your finger at him.

he held his hands up in his defence and smiled, not smirked. he looked nice when he smiled, friendly. "i'll walk you home ok. it's late."

you frowned, that wasn't what you were expecting him to say. "i can walk myself home."

he shrugged. "it's late. come on. get your jacket."

he walked passed you and towards the exit. you were kinda speechless. you didn't really know him that well but you didn't know what else to say. you'd said everything you possibly could to drive him away but he was still hanging around. you followed him to the door, picking your jacket up on the way.

you were both quiet for the first part of your journey home. suddenly neither of you had anything to say to each other.

"someone hurt you?" he caught you off guard again.

"what?" you glanced over at him. he looked straight ahead, glancing your way for a split second. you knew what he meant. "uh—no. well, not really."

"my ex-boyfriend cheated on me," you didn't look at him this time but you could feel his eyes on you. "he was an asshole so whatever. i just— i hate how— how mean guys can be sometimes. they don't care about anyone other than themselves.”

"he's a coño."

"yep." you shrugged.

you were both quiet again for a little while, eventually reaching your house. "thanks for walking me home," you smiled halfheartedly. your feelings were all over the place. you wanted to hate him like you did all the others but he was acting so different. "i appreciate it."

"no probs," he shrugged, walking up your path with you till you reached your porch. "your ex fucked up. you're pretty cool."

you smiled again, halfheartedly. "yeah?" he nodded.

you nudged his arm. "thanks again, spooky."

you walked up your porch steps to your door. "call me oscar."

you turned around, seeing a small discreet smile on his lips. you nodded, winking at him wearing a bigger smile than before. "see you around, oscar."

oscar was already falling hard for you.

[diosmenu]

> me again hello!

mamamoo

(not a group? but bibi if u have time)

itzy

twice

red velvet

kep1er

txt

jsbdhsbs ty ur so real

itzy

favorite member / bias line: ryujin + chaeryeong + yeji

which member I’d fight (& why): ryujin i think if we were friends we’d just fight for fun. aries tingz or whatever

favorite song(s): oooo i need to sit down and figure this out soon but atm i’d say mafia in the morning i think

favorite thing about the group: theyre really good dancers and it shows in how good their choreography always is. plus theyre monster performers their show stages are crazy

something i’d like to see from them: hm nothing in particular honestly. i think it might be interesting to see them do a darker concept or something with a story? think their mama 2021 performance lol

twice

favorite member / bias line: my line is so funny i just keep adding to it everyday. anyway momo + jihyo + nayeon + sana + dahyun

which member i’d fight (& why): momo but like homoerotically. intricate rituals and whatnot

favorite song(s): i dont think ive even heard half their discog yet so idr have this figured out but. the feels, f.i.l.a., hell in heaven, i can’t stop me, fancy, ho! & prolly more idk theyve never made a bad song

favorite thing about the group: like i said the inability to make a bad song

something i’d like to see from them: radio silence. like literally please give these women a break

red velvet

favorite member if i have one: irene

favorite song(s): psycho & really bad boy changed my life im so serious

why i don’t stan (yet) / if i want to: i dont think i need to be a Stan of every group i listen to buuuut i also havent heard that many songs by them even tho i want to and the reason is im lazy LMAO ill do them justice at some point

question for veteran fans: im probably gonna ignore this question in general like i got nothing to ask lmfao

kep1er

i’ll listen to their top song on spotify & tell you my thoughts: in all honesty i already listened to wa da da and i didn’t like it </3

i’ll look up photos & tell you who stands out to me: i don’t need to cos xiaoting is my gf actually. but also that pink haired girl is so pretty too

i’ll tell you if i’d look into them more: i mean. they just debuted so i can’t really say either way. maybe if their next release is different from wa da da sjbsjsnsj

txt

favorite member / bias line: yeonjun + taehyun + i think im adding beomgyu too

which member i’d fight (& why): yeonjun. i just think he deserves it and im sure the members would help me. but also beomgyu bc hes also a menace in a different way

favorite song(s): loser lover, puma, can’t you see me?, 0x1=lovesong, blue hour, etc. also i think cat & dog might be unironically making the cut

favorite thing about the group: i think they do really interesting concepts and pull them off very well no matter how different they are

something i’d like to see from them: i need them to actually pull thru w the loser lover sound. honestly first time i listened to the album i didnt like it bc i was expecting some pop rock-ish vibes and i was disappointed when i saw only one song was like that LMAO but its still my fave i think they wld kill a full album. but ALSO straight up rock bc the only reason i gave them another chance after that disappointment was bc i saw the yj blue hour teaser and i thought it was gonna be a rock song 💀 theyre lucky theres crack in it or we wouldnt be here <3

bibi

i’ll listen to their top song on spotify & tell you my thoughts: (listened to the weekend) this is GOODDDDD whoa

i’ll tell you if i’d look into them more: yea! ive heard a lot ab her and thought id check her out eventually

send me a kpop group

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[iacon-stargazer]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stolen from @oneshallfall like.... months ago. im a slow gremlin hjksd. it's been in my drafts and i finally decided to finish the last few sections while working on clearing them out

tagging: steal it

MY MUSE IS.   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  Well.../ NO / IDK. (i know optimus is but i don’t really... know about orion? i have seen a handful of fanartists who turn him into a very sexualized moe baby but i’m not sure about the fandom at large)

is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

are they underrated?  YES / NO. (lmao there’s like no fan content with him unless it’s with megatronus) 

were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO.

were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. (not yet.... lol)

how’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

This... this is a trick question in this goddamn mess of a continuity. That said, I try my absolute best to make my portrayal coherent with the TFP show... even if said show contradicts itself at times. I take inspiration from the earlier parts (the thirteen primes section) of the Covenant of Primus for his origin backstory, but ignore the rest of the Covenant since it makes absolutely no sense with his characterization in... literally anything else. I’ve peeked at Exodus and it utterly sucks, but I’ve picked up bits and pieces of concepts that originated there just from spending time in the fandom. Aside from that... I spend a ton of time thinking about how to weave everything together in a way that both makes sense and makes for a character development arc.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.)

Orion is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and introspective, very loving of the world around him.

He’s also a more complex character than is initially obvious - despite mostly being good sweet pure baby nerd he’s still flawed, with many of those flaws being his strengths put into the wrong situation. His strong morals can lead to dogmatism, and he’s only slightly less likely to deliver lectures than Optimus. His determination to be kind and help everyone can come off as unintentionally patronizing at times; he has a very “well-intentioned semi-privileged middle class” perspective that he’s not always self-aware of. However, he’s also willing to look at himself critically and learn/adapt. 

Essentially, he has many of the same traits as Optimus... just more or less apparent and/or developed. He's less confident than he eventually becomes through his future experience with leadership, wanting to change the world for the better but sometimes struggling to ground his plans in reality—something that continues to apply, but with reduced intensity and frequency over time. Idealistic cinnamon roll will eventually develop some realism, though never really quite enough. His selflessness remains a strength for now, but we know that eventually it will dip into martyristic tendencies.

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

He could be potentially ‘boring’ in some senses. he’s the polite, considerate ‘next door’ type, who has for most of his life has just lived as a very average middle caste nobody. He’s more laid-back than he eventually becomes as optimus, but where others might get into trouble and shenanigans he’s most likely to just express concern. And since I try to keep him at least mostly ic, even with non-serious posts, this can derail ‘fun’ stuff and I fear dissuade some interaction.

While I try my best to give him realistic flaws that work with his character, he could still be seen as a little too good. very kind, understanding, forgiving, patient, considerate... almost endlessly so. A lot of my “he’s so good and pure” interpretation comes from using his having been the thirteenth prime as backstory, where he was pretty much the epitome of that, but some might not like the “he was a literal deity in a past life” idea for its “super special chosen one protagonist” elements.

His responsiveness to his environment can also be a downside. He’s not the type to start things; he just reacts and responds, standing his ground and finding himself when things get crazy around him. without megatronus, he may have eventually attempted political campaigning, but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. He needs to have more intense characters or events around him for major plots to really go places. Without those nothing would ever happen besides slice of life fluff, because he’s content with that kind of life.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  

Honestly I just wanted to write op/ratch fhsjkdjsdh. But I also wanted to be able to interact with a variety of muses and so I chose Orion over Optimus because he’s not so emotionally closed off, which I figured would give more flexibility beyond the handful of characters op would reasonably have close personal and/or plot-important relationships with. Also, I can relate to him on a thought-process level which lets me get into his head easily, which additionally made him an appealing choice for my first real rp muse.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  

I just love him so much, especially with the layers of his character I've built up around him. I don't always have inspiration to write or rp, but I think about him a lot. When I do find motivation to write, it's generally out of wanting to continue to work on developing him and just having a chance to express his characterization.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.  (i should do it more...)

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.

are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. (at least most days fhsdhfskj)

are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. (it waxes and wanes. I know I'm a good writer but I could still be better...)

are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

I’ll be honest; I’ve never gotten criticism. I haven’t been here very long in comparison to some and I’ve never been that popular, so I figure I’m pretty easy to just ignore. I guess how I would feel about it would depend on what it was and how it was delivered, though I like to think I would be reasonable regardless

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  

yes? yes absolutely?

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  

I would be curious to hear their reasoning, but I think enough about how everything fits together that chances are I would agree to disagree

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

Depends on if their disagreement makes sense. Maybe I’ll give back my own reasoning for why I characterize the way I do. Maybe I’ll just agree to disagree, if their view is just totally different from mine. If they have valid points I’ll probably overthink it and spiral into self doubt. In all cases I’ll spill my thoughts to friends on discord.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

......Orion in general or? ... fhsjkdhf...... Well if it was mine specifically that might hurt lol. But at the same time.... I doubt i’d agree with their takes either so... fair enough.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  

Sure. I’m good at grammar so if something glaring is there it’s probably a typo I missed and I’ll be grateful for the chance to edit it out before more people see it lol

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  

Yeah. I’m pretty quiet most of the time because I just don’t have energy to talk to a lot of people, and I never want to get caught in drama. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in a situation like that. I tend to avoid conflict, I’m quick to apologize, and polite with anyone I don’t know very well.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #427

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one enslaved”

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? I wouldn't say anything, I'm pretty sure I'd just break down. Do you play video games? Not really anymore. :/ I probably would, though, if I had the appropriate consoles for games I want. You can only replay PS2 games but so many times before you're tired of them. Do you spend a lot of time with family? No, honestly. Is your house more than two stories tall? It only has one floor. Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I'm not in a relationship, but I have most certainly never hit an s/o, and they've never hit me. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) I'm not. What color is your hairbrush/comb? White. What snacks do you have available in your household atm? Hm. Just some fruity grain and oats bars, as well as cashew ones. We try to keep sweets out of the house. Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? No. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Holy fuck yes, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? Ha, I'm sure. Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Some random middle-aged man, like who are you sir. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My dad. He can be so rude to people sometimes. When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? Not sure. It's been quite a while. Do you play any games on Facebook? No. What would you like to get a degree in? It'd be nice to get a degree in Arts, but yeah... I'm never going back to school. Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Pretty much every night. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Almost without fail. You've got to, it's part of the experience. What genre of films do you like the best? Horror. How many bank accounts do you have? None, actually. Have you ever had the flu? No, thankfully. What is your goal for the next few months? To start getting in shape/losing weight. I seriously hope this gym routine works out. Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? I have seveeeere sleep apnea. It's shocking, I never would've guessed it, though, so the diagnosis (I had a sleep study, so yes, it's legit) was an extreme surprise. I don't snore at all, nor do I like pass out in the middle of something, but I stop breathing A LOT. For a year or two (no, that is not an exaggeration), it caused consistent, horrible, and violent nightmares/terrors. It made sleep frightening to me, and I was never getting a truly restful sleep. Now, I have an APAP mask (like a less extreme version of a CPAP mask) that helps me greatly. I only very rarely am surprised by a more subtle nightmare now. Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. No, thankfully. What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Quality tattoos, for one. And maybe uhhh... idk. We're the kind of family that buys off-brand foods and drinks all the time because it's cheaper, so I can't say that. Maybe health care? Like I wouldn't want service from a sketchy dentist or something. Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. Charming and romantic. Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? No. You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? That's hard for me to say. She doesn't seem to like talking about her past very much, because I know it's turbulent with her mother. I would say her being disowned, but I don't know how that *actually* affected her. Maybe it was for the better she wasn't under her mom's authority anymore. Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I guess my mom, but she's actually smaller than me now. She's lost a lot of weight and is still going at it. Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Not a house, but rather hay rides and those places you just walk through and experience different stuff. They don't scare me at all; I love 'em. Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? No. Which is worse: dusting or mopping? Ugh, mopping. I don't mind dusting. Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? No. Did you pull a senior prank? No. That shit is so dumb. Did you graduate? High school, yes. Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? No, and I never would. What was the last song you listened to? I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of "Bleed It Out" by Linkin Park right now. It's great. Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no. Is fashion one of your interests? No. Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? Hell if I know. Do you care what people think? Way, way more than I should. Is acting something you enjoy? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel so stupid. What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I tore a ligament badly in my foot maybe a year and a half ago. I was SO sure it was broken. My mom had to help me walk everywhere, and even when she did, I'd be whimpering and seething. Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? No. Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at? If we're excluding all family, I suppose Sara's? Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? Probably at some point as a kid. Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? I played a lot. The only two I really didn't like were soccer and cheerleading. Did you ever watch the show Full House? Hell yeah, I loved it as a kid. Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? Ha ha y'all know I joke about it, but no, not legitimately. It's not like I know him personally at all, and I'm not chasing him to California either. Just let me dream still lmao. Have you ever burned someone’s picture? No, but I've actually heard it's truly therapeutic and not just for dramatic effect, so I wouldn't be opposed to doing so if you handed me a picture of him and a lighter. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? I've never hiked before. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? Uh, no. Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Jason. Do your parents smoke cigarettes? My dad smokes like a chimney and is 100% going to end up with cancer because of it. You should hear his cough. Mom smoked for a very, very brief period before I was born. What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? "Equal in our bones" is on my favorite shirt. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Certain inverts people are wild enough to get, like giant African centipedes in particular. Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Can't say I care. do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Ha, no. We all have natural first impressions and things like that that just... happen. What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? Nothing, really... besides just childhood memories that inevitably came. My hometown was dangerous. What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? I'm not sure. What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? I want to say Old Yeller, but I'm not sure. What’s your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden and The Cheesecake Factory. Is there a dessert you don’t like? Yeah; I don't like pie, strawberry shortcake, and I know there're others. Favorite album? Ozzy's Black Rain. It was my introduction to metal, so there's nostalgic value there, but I also just LOVE every single song. What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? None. I don't read books for that reason. Underwater or outer space? Both kinda frighten me to a degree, but I find outer space to be way cooler. So many colorrrrrrs. Dogs or cats? Cats. Kittens or puppies? Ugh, both are so cute, but I gotta hand it to kittens. Bird watching or whale watching? Whale watching would blow me away. Whales are such magnificent, awe-inspiring animals. What is your spirit animal? Probably a deer. Skittish, shy, and quiet. What was your best subject in school? English. What was your worst subject in school? Math. What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? You and Jason aren't going to last, hunty. Who is your fashion icon? I don't have one. I wear what I want/what's comfortable. Diamonds or pearls? I think diamonds are a lot prettier. What color dress did you wear to prom? First one was maroon, last one was black. What’s your favorite plot-twist? Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. My jaw actually dropped. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Yes. Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Said things I shouldn't. Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad? Yes. Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? Two weeks ago or something like that. Ever pop someone else’s pimple? OH MY GOD NO alskdfa;wekrwer; Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Who are you closest to? My mom. Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No. Are you currently sad about anything? A number of things. Have you had any form of exercise today? No, but tomorrow is day #2 at the gym! Can you handle blood? Yeah, np. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No sir=ee. Are you currently searching for a job? Not anymore, at least not actively. I was going to after TMS, but I'm just... still not ready. Right now, I'm focusing on the gym and getting healthy again, but if the seemingly perfect job comes along, I'm not opposed to taking it up. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No, I've got to have breakfast or else THEN I feel awful.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[junosartsthetic]

A Curiosity

This was originally going to be part 1 of a multi-part fanfiction but I don’t think I’m going to finish it due to lack of motivation atm. Later on I might come back to this but for now it’s just this. I won’t comment on any possible confusing notes on the off-chance I continue this. 

Heels clicked on hard stone, waves crashing nearby. The sun set lazily below the horizon, the golden hour glow illuminating your upset form.

You clenched your fists, tears in your eyes as you paced. The expensive black dress you wore swung about haphazardly, silken fabric brushing against your legs.

You took a glance at your phone which rested on the granite bench just outside the high class restaurant. The screen remained dark.

You headed towards the guard railing, intricate metal bars shielding you from a fall into the cool Italian waters. Your freshly painted nails dug into the railing.

Where was he?

You brought a hand up to wipe the now falling tears, hesitant to ruin your dutifully done make up. 

This wasn’t fair.

You spun around swiftly, scanning the scattered people who strolled about the piers and seaside buildings. None of them were who you were looking for.

“God damnit!” You stomped your pricey heels against the pavement.

Your boyfriend was supposed to be here, he promised. And yet, it’s been a half an hour and there’s no sign of him.

You knew he had issues. He’d been so angry lately.

You brushed a finger against the bruise on your cheek, concealed with foundation. 

You shook your head.

No. The sweet teen you fell in love with was still there underneath the druggie he’d become. Right?

He started using at such a young age, tempted by the scum of the earth mafia.

You told him to stop, been pleading for years now, but you were now 20, and nothing has changed. 

You let out a long sigh. Maybe this was for the best. You hadn’t seen him in weeks, but he’d gotten in touch with you and told you to meet him here. He said he wanted to tell you something.

Gritting your teeth, you stomped back to your phone, spinning back on your heels once you had the device in hand to head back to the bus stop. If he wasn’t going to show, then it was over.

Before you made it to the bus station, a calm and melodic voice stopped you. “It’s a gorgeous view, isn’t it?”

You turned your head.

A man leaned against the railing, facing towards the sunset and sea.

The white suit he wore, dotted with little black marks, fit his tall and rather lanky form nicely. 

His black hair, cut into a precise bob, flowed gently in the breeze.

A golden glow cast onto his face, allowing you to see a glimpse of a handsome face.

Even though he didn’t look at you, you knew he was calling to you.

A knot of both anxiety and curiosity gripped your gut. 

You hesitantly stalked forward a few steps, resting your hands against the railing a ways away from him.

You looked to examine his face.

His features were soft, yet intimidating in a familiar way. The way he carried himself was elegant, yet dangerous.

You didn’t need to ask to know why he was here or who he was.

He was a mafia member, no doubt, and if a man like him was meeting you instead of your druggie boyfriend, then something must’ve happened. Something your boyfriend couldn’t walk away from.

“He’s dead,” you spoke, voice stable, though your body shook and your cheeks dampened. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

He nodded. “Yes.”

The knot in your stomach tightened. You wished you were wrong, and yet knew you were right.

“How’d he die?”

The man finally turned to meet your gaze. “You don’t want to know that.”

You narrowed your gaze. “Tell me.”

He let out a sigh, taking his hands off the railing before walking over to you.

You stayed where you were.

He pulled a familiar necklace out of his suit pocket. It was the necklace you’d given to your boyfriend on his birthday last year. 

Blood stained the silver heart shaped locket.

“Here,” he spoke, holding it in his palm. 

You took the necklace, giving it a single look before tossing it into the ocean.

“I don’t need it.”

The man’s lips lifted into a soft smile. “Will you be alright?”

You stared at the locket as it sank into the  bright blue water. 

“I don’t have a choice, now do I?”

He didn’t respond, just resuming his act of leaning against the railing and staring at the horizon, this time, right next to you.

“Your boyfriend was dabbling in mafia business. They’ll come after you if you attempt to look into his disappearance.”

“Death, you mean.”

He gave your face a glance. Your expression was stoic. Tears no longer fell.

“The police are treating it as a missing persons case. Eventually, it’ll be forgotten.”

“Like every other person in this godforsaken country who fucks with the mafia.”

He felt the sting in your voice. His chest tightened. This wasn’t the first time you’d dealt with the mafia.

“One day it’ll change.”

You scoffed. “Will it? You’re one to talk. You’re part of them. Now get out of here before I do something I regret.”

He remained.

You let out an irritated scoff. 

“Alright, then I’ll leave.”

You turned to leave, but his voice stopped you once more.

“You’re all dressed up.”

“And?”

“You have a reservation here.”

“Okay.”

He held his hand out to you. “Let’s talk inside.”

“Why should I? I don’t trust you. I don’t know you. My boyfriend was murdered. I’m not really in the mood for dinner.”

He gave you a look which you recognized. You didn’t have a choice in the matter.

You placed your hand on his.

“Fine. Lead the way Mr...”

“Bruno. Bruno Bucciarati.”

You sat down at the table, Bruno shooing away the waiter with a kind smile and a shake of his head when prompted with ordering.

You stirred the full martini glass in front of you with a painted nail, eyeing the man across from you.

“You never told me how he died,” you spoke, voice quiet but stern.

Bruno’s kind smile fell into a tight-lipped frown. 

“Don’t get involved. Please. It’s in your best interest if you—“

“What? Let it go? Move on? No.”

You took a sip of your drink, dark red lipstick now staining the rim. “Listen, whether you like it or not, I’m getting to the bottom of all of this. I’ve had it. And besides, why do you care? Why’d they even send you?”

Bruno debated internally. The boss didn’t send him, in fact, he was the one that killed your boyfriend.

“You’re in a dangerous position, and the further you delve the worse it’ll become.”

“You don’t think I know that? You don’t know me so don’t pretend to, Mr. Bucciarati.”

He let out a sigh, clasping his hands together. “I know that you’ve had more run ins with the mafia then you let on.”

“Oh, wow, aren’t you Sherlock Holmes?” you quipped sarcastically. “Everyone has. They’re inescapable, which is why I want to change this fucked system.”

Bruno admired your drive, though he knew you’d die if you tried to challenge the mafia on your own. He bit his lip. He shouldn’t…

“You should go home and get some sleep,” he said, beginning to stand. He held out a hand to help you up. You took it. “And don’t speak so loud about all this. You’re already a target.”

“I’d love nothing more than to leave.” You gestured to the table. “You’re paying for the wine.”

With that, you strode out the door. 

Bruno watched you leave. He clenched his fists. Damn him and his hospitality.

[just-my-sickly-pride]

hey could i request a 80s roger x young reader? where he's insecure about his abilities in bed because he's getting old and you're so young and he's scared that you would eventually leave him? it could be smut or just general fluff. thank you!

i’m v v sleepy atm so sorry if this turned out wonky!it’s about 1.6k and I’d give it a T rating, mostly fluff/angst and then a scootch of spice at the end!

     You’d started to notice it a while ago, maybe three weeks. Your partner Roger had been acting… different. He was still just as loving and romantic and affectionate as he always was, as he had been since you’d started dating him two years ago. But ever since - well. Ever since his birthday about three weeks ago, something had changed.

    It wasn’t as if the two of you had slept together all the time. A couple of times a week, nothing extreme by any means. You’d had a very fun night for Roger’s birthday, and then, now, nothing. You’d made out a couple times, and Roger had gotten you off with his hands, with his mouth, quite a few times since his birthday, to be fair, which was all fantastic, but that had been it. When you’d wanted to return the favour, he’d brushed you off, and you hadn’t actually had sex since his birthday. He was too tired, or too busy, or he didn’t feel like it.

    Which was fine, if it were true. You weren’t about to kick up a fuss if it were true.

    But it didn’t exactly fit his track record. Roger loved sex, and he’d never been afraid to show you just how much he loved it, especially how much he loved it with you.

    So, yes, you were worried, more worried that you wanted to admit. You were twenty-four now, and Roger was fourteen years your senior. The age gap had never really been an issue between the two of you - it was mainly that other people had a problem with it, which hadn’t ever bothered either of you - but maybe things were changing. Maybe Roger, since turning thirty-eight, realised he wanted someone older, more mature, who had their life together. Someone who already had an established career, instead of still finding their feet a couple years out of university.

    Or - and you didn’t even want to consider this - maybe Roger wanted someone… younger.

    It repulsed you to your core to think that. You knew that that would never be the case, and it was just your deepest, darkest insecurities coming to the surface, but it was hard to ignore that evil little voice in the back of your mind.

    So maybe it was time to shut it up.

    “Can we talk?” you said.

    Roger looked up from the book he was reading. He looked so comfy and cozy beside you on the couch, a glass of wine in hand and his book in the other. A small crease grew between his brows when he read, and you liked to smooth it out with your thumb from time to time.

    “Of course, love,” he said. “What’s the matter?”

    He said it casually, but the way he immediately closed the book and set it aside, and then took a healthy swig of wine, led you to believe he knew exactly what was coming.

    It didn’t make it any easier to articulate, though.

    You fidgeted with your fingers, forcing yourself to look him in the eye and not avoid his gaze. “It’s about… something between us that’s happened. Or not happened.”

    Roger sighed. “Right.”

    “I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way,” you added. “It’s absolutely fine, it is, but I just… I’m struggling to understand. Why we, y’know, haven’t…” You forced yourself to get the words out as straightforward as you could. “We haven’t had sex since your birthday three weeks ago, babe. I just want to know what’s going on with you. I think part of me is - is scared, and expecting the worst, and I just need you to be open with me, please.”

    Roger sighed again, and rubbed his eyes. “Ah,” he said. “Yes.”

    Your stomach lurched. Wait. This was it, wasn’t it? This was the lead-in to the break up. He was about to break up with you. Oh no, no, no, he’d found someone else, hadn’t he? She was probably eighteen and skinny and so blonde and pretty with big Bambi eyes, and he was about to dump you for her.

    “This is sort of… embarrassing,” Roger said, not meeting your gaze.

    Embarrassing? Embarrassing? “What?” you said.

    “So, um.” Roger squared his shoulders and finally met your eyes, and then his face dropped, and he took your hands. “Oh, love, what’s wrong? You’re white as a sheet.”

    “Are you breaking up with me?” you blurted.

    “What?” Roger said. “No, love, not at all.”

    “You’re not cheating on me?”

    “No!” Roger said. He groaned, and dragged a hand down his face. “Wonderful. Wonderful, I’ve made you feel awful.”

    “Rog, just tell me, please,” you said.

    “I’m old,” Roger said, and the sentence fell out of his mouth like gravel. “I’m old, and you’re so young, and I’m just worried that I… can’t - keep up anymore. That I can’t make you feel good like you want me to. Like you think I can, or should be able to. And after that bloody fantastic night, my birthday - celebration, I was sore the next day, and I was wracking my brains trying to figure out what we’d done that was so extreme that I pulled a muscle, and then I realised that I’m just old.”

    You stared at him, letting your brain process what he’d just said. Of all the things you expected him to say, being self-conscious about his age was not one of them.

    Roger took his hand back from yours, and he picked at the fluff on his tracksuit pants. “That’s why we haven’t slept together since then,” he said, his voice tight. “Because I’m concerned that the next time we do, I’m going to pull another muscle or you’re going to want to do something I can’t do, and then you’ll realise you should be dating someone your own age. And if you don’t realise it now, you’ll realise it soon enough. Maybe in a couple years, but eventually.”

    “No,” you said. You didn’t have to think about it - you just said it, and you meant it, with all your heart. You reached forward and took hold of his hands again. “Rog. Babe. Look at me.”

    He did.

    “I don’t care,” you said. “I really, really don’t care. Because I love you. I couldn’t care less that you’re getting older. I love it.”

    “You don’t have to say that,” Roger said.

    “I don’t,” you agreed. “And you know me - I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. So I mean it. I love you, I love every part of you, I love everything about you. Except when you go through my secret stash of chocolate; that annoys me. And how you complain at the TV when I’m trying to watch.”

    Roger huffed a laugh.

    You shuffled in closer to him, cupping his cheek, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “I don’t want you to ever think you have to hold back or hide from me,” you said. “Even when you turn fifty, I still very much intend to be there for hot birthday sex, whatever that entails. Even if tomorrow you turned around and said to me that you only wanted to have sex once a month from now on, or once every three months, whatever, I wouldn’t care.”

    “You say that,” Roger said, “but you don’t know. In five years’ time, I’ll be forty-three, and you’ll only be-”

    “I’ll be almost thirty,” you said with a wry smile. “So you’ll get to hear me complaining about how I’m getting old.”

    He didn’t laugh, like you expected him to - he just managed a smile.

    You combed your hands through his hair. “I still want you,” you said. “In every way you’ll have me.”

    Roger’s eyes searched yours, and you could see him thinking, see him battling with himself.

    You drew him in for a kiss. He went to pull away after a second, expecting it only to be brief, but you didn’t let him go. You rose onto your knees and straddled him, and his hands instinctively slid up your thighs.

    God, that felt good. You moaned into his mouth, deepening the kiss, rolling your hips against his, and you felt his muscles slowly start to relax underneath you.

    You ducked your head to kiss and nip at his throat, and he let out a low moan that you felt through his skin. “Let’s go to bed,” you murmured in between kisses. You kissed under his jaw, and then pulled back, meeting his eyes. “Let me make you feel good,” you said. “Help you forget everything that’s whizzing around in that brain of yours.”

    You rocked against him, and you were glad to discover that he was definitely interested. At least, his body was. You were more concerned about whether his mind would pose as a roadblock.

    Roger hesitated.

    “I love you,” you said.

    “I love you too,” he said.

    You smiled. “I love you, and I want you. It’s been three weeks, and I am so desperate by this point that, honestly, I’d be fine if you just lay there and let me do all the work.”

    Roger snorted. “As if.”

    You chuckled. “Okay, yeah, you caught me out on that one. But I am desperate.” You kissed him again, one hand finding the hem of his shirt and slipping underneath it to run over his stomach, his chest, the side of his ribs.

    He moaned, his hands finding your hips and tugging you closer. When you broke apart, he said breathlessly, “It has been a while.”

    You hummed in agreement, pecking him on the lips.

    He took a breath. “Okay, fine, you’ve convinced me,” he said, and kissed you fiercely.

    You smiled against his lips. Maybe his fears weren’t completely assuaged, but you’d figure out how to fight them together. As much as it would take. Forever.

[fand0mfancies]

Came across this on Tumblr a few days ago, it amused me for a couple of hours or more, filling it in, while watching QI.

 Fandom Questions

 1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Star Trek: Voyager, I suppose at least for reading. Started writing with Stargate SG-1.

 2. What is your latest fandom?

I dip in and out of lots of fandoms on and off, the most recent ‘pick up’ is Ballam from Eastenders, I don’t watch soaps, but Robron and Ballam both appear a good bit on my tumblr, so I eventually gave in to checking them out via fic and youtube – thank god for youtube, lol! I still don’t watch soaps, but I watch those storylines!

 3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Gosh, that’s... actually no that’s really easy. Primeval. For anyone not familiar, it’s a ‘silly little dinosaur show’ produced in the UK. It had 4 short seasons, with a somewhat revolving main cast – although they managed to keep 3 of them through all 4 seasons – but the fandom was/is amazing. I made life long friends through the fandom and even though I don’t write much any more I still read some and still talk with those people.

 4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I would say no. I can’t say every fandom has always been amazing – ship wars anyone! – but mostly fandom has been a very positive experience in my life.

 5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

How long have you got... in genuinely no particular order (basically as they came to me) Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek (TNG, DS9, Voy, Ent & Reboot Movies), Marvel, Kingsman, Person of Interest, Due South, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Buffy/Angel verse, Harry Potter, The Sentinel, Torchwood(/Doctor Who), Hawaii Five-0, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Primeval, Emmerdale (Robron), NCIS, CSI (Vegas, NY & Miami), White Collar, Empire Records, Bull, Diagnosis Murder, MacGyver (the original), 1-800-Missing, CHAOS, Without a Trace, M*A*S*H, Charmed, Queer as Folk (US), Will & Grace, Bring it On, Nash Bridges, Magnificent 7 (TV series), House, Babylon 5 – I think I got them all... a few of those were one time only deals, but a lot of them have more (anywhere from 2-52 (or more still!) ranging from 100 word drabbles, to thousands of words – hey I’ve been writing fic for 21 years... you tend to amass a lot of fandoms...

 6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh geez, here we go, lol! Okay...

 Stargate SG-1: Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson

Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Star Trek: Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Chakotay/Tom Paris, Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed, James Kirk/Spock – I don’t particularly have an ‘otp’ in TNG, the couple I’ve written were Picard/Data, I’ve also dabbled reading Data/Gordi)

Marvel: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Kingsman: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin

Person of Interest: Harold Finch/John Reese

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray K

Quantum Leap: Sam/Al

Firefly: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Giles, Angel/Spike, Xander/Spike, Willow/Tara

Harry Potter: Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Hermione/Draco

The Sentinel: Jim/Blair

Torchwood: Jack/Ianto

Hawaii Five-O: Steve/Danno

Shadowhunters: Magnus/Alec

Sherlock: Sherlock/John, Mycroft/Lestrade

Primeval: Nick Cutter/Stephen Hart, James Lester/Hilary Becker Emmerdale: Robert Sugden/Aaron Dingle

NCIS: Gibbs/DiNozzo CSI: Nick Stokes/David Hodges, Mac/Danny, Horatio/Speed White Collar: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth

Empire Records: Joe/Lucas

Bull: Benny/Jason

Diagnosis Murder: Steve/Jesse

 I’ve left a few out where I don’t have particular OTPs

 7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Here we go again... lol!

 Stargate SG-1: Jack/Sam, I just... no. I’ve read a few where it’s a background or secondary pairing, but it always makes me wince a bit. I’ve read a few with Sam/Daniel as a secondary pairing that didn’t make me react that way and I’ve read Sam with other characters, but Jack/Sam just is a nope for me.

Stargate Atlantis: McKay/Keller – no, just no. that was horrible. She treated him like... awfully, trying to change him to suit her, just... no.

Marvel: Contentious, but Tony/Pepper, also Peter Parker/Tony Stark. Maybe because I saw the movies before I ever looked at the comics, but meh.

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray V – again, contentious, but honestly I think Ray V was kind of a shit friend to Fraser.

Firefly: Anything with Jayne. No really, I just can not stand the character. I spent most of the series wanting to punch him in the face and sometimes you get characters you love to hate, but I just hated him.

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Kennedy

Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Ron/Harry, Harry/Ginny... basically, Ron and Ginny should just be loveless hermits who live by themselves. Ok, no, that isn’t fair... but as much as Ron was Harry’s first friend, he was selfish and bitter and Ginny/Harry just... never sat right with me. Ron literally says she spent ‘all summer talking about’ Harry, when she’d met him for all of three seconds. She didn’t know him. It always felt like she fell more in love with the *idea* of Harry Potter, than Harry Potter himself.

Sherlock: Sherlock/Molly, he’d eat her for breakfast. Serious, she’d never survive him.

Primeval: Oliver Leek and anyway. Arg. Creepy little dude is creepy and evil.

NCIS: Ziva/DiNozzo – ugh, just no.

 Again, I’ve left out ones where I don’t have particular NoTPs

 8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Tumblr, god damned bitches posting gifs of pretty boys falling in love, roped me in!

 9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

I dabble in several fandoms at once... but if we go by ‘most recently picked up’ as ‘current’ we’re talking Ballum, which hey, it’s always fun to have an actual canon pairing be my OTP, that’s rare for me, lol.

 10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Well (so far) I haven’t written any Ballum. (I say so far, because I’m a realist, lol). I rarely read in fandoms and not end up writing in them at some point. Although I have probably dabbled in a few I’ve not written for, but if I read it with any sort of consistency, I mostly end up writing it. I am weak!

  Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

 11. Who is your current OTP?

Okay, so that list above, just basically go with that. While I do drop in and hour of fandoms and some I certainly read in more than others, I do tend to go back to fandoms... If we were talking about what I’m mostly focused on writing atm... Steve/Tony, Mycroft/Lestrade, Harry/Draco and Robron are ones I’m currently working on most.

 12. Who is your current OT3?

I’m not currently writing anything that’s OT3 with any real focus. I have a couple of Neal/Peter/Elizabeth WiPs that I will at some point finish, but they aren’t a big focus just now. I did recently read a fabulous Neal/Peter/Elizabeth fic that’s been on my tbr list for ages.

 13. Any NoTPs?

Just... see above, lol!

 14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Harry Hart/Merlin, those two are Bro’s until the end and I will fight you on this. Also, Eggsy/Roxy! OMG they are such a BroTP! And Tony/Pepper/Rhodey – I may no like Tony/Pepper as a pairing, but I love them as best friends and of course, our Rhodes, because again, I will fight you on this, they are awesome and Tony needs his best friends!

 15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I’m not sure there is. I suppose I’ve read a few fics for some random pairings over the years, but nothing that’s made me really ship-ship them. I like Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes, after seeing it as a secondary pairing in a Steve/Tony fic, but I’ve seen that pop up a few times since, so maybe it won’t stay obscure for long!

 16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Jack/Sam, Tony/Pepper, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Buffy/Spike – they all seem to be het pairings, oops. But I am mostly a slash fic reader/writer, so I suppose that’s not too surprising.

 17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Jack/Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I still love them. I still read them, although it has been a while since I’ve written them on their own (I have got some SG-1/SGA x-overs where they feature)

 18. What ship have you written the most about?

I’m genuinely not sure... without going and counting (and I’m not going any counting!) I’d guess Jack/Daniel, McKay/Sheppard, Jack/Ianto and Steve/Danno.

 19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

No, not that I can think off. I either like it or not. I do occasionally feel bad for not reading a fic if it’s an author I really like, but I don’t read that fandom or pairing, but nothing specific.

 20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Robron and Ballum, lol. I do not do soaps!

  Author Questions

 21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

 Stargate SG-1, Jack/Daniel, a story called The Dare, The Disaster, The Almost Happy Ending, And The Very Happy Ending – it was awful. Don’t go looking, lol!

 22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Don’t we all? No, I wouldn’t specifically say so. There are certainly fics, especially older ones, I wish I could have written better, but nothing I’d go, ugh I should never have done that.

 23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Uh... honestly that’s really hard. I... um... yeah, I don’t know, really. I wrote a nice little flower one in POI that I felt worked rather beautifully. The Language of Flowers. An I wrote an SGA fic for NaNo a few years ago, called A Different Life, but it’s not online, because I didn’t finish it yet and I knew I wasn’t going to finish it any time soon, so I didn’t feel it was fair to leave it up unfinished (there is a reason I don’t read WiP fics and I don’t post them either, because I know how much I hate unfinished WiPs) Edit: After writing this I reminded myself of a POI fic I wrote called Hours of Separation – It’s a Harold/John break up story that I always intended to write a sequel too where I ‘fixed’ them, but I just couldn’t do it. I broke them a little too well. But I really love it actually.

 24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

The afore mentioned A Different Life needs to be edited and finished, lol! Also a Primeval fic with the working title Crypt Keeper (don’t ask) that I worked myself into a bit of a corner on and I figure out how to fix it, but I haven’t done it yet, so it’s still needs fixing and finishing, lol!

 25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I haven’t the foggiest.

 26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Sometimes, really easily, a quote, a line from the fic, a song title... other times it’s like pulling teeth, hence working titles on things like ‘crypt keeper’ which is a reference to one scene near the very start and has no actual hint of the plot, lol!

 27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Oh the titles. Summaries you can just copy a few lines from the fic if you are desperate, if you had to post ‘untitled mcshep fic #67’ people would get cranky, lol, hell I’d get cranky!

 28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Oh... I... huh. I mean who wouldn’t love fanart for their stories? Any of them honestly! But if I had to choose just one... I guess something in my Animal Instinct verse, which is Primeval (although I always intended to write other fandoms in the verse) where some people transform into animals, based on their ‘spirit animal’ and some art of the characters with their spirit animal form would be awesome.

 29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

Sometimes, look if you’ve read this far, you know I write in a lot of fandoms, lol. In some fandoms it’s easier than others to find beta readers. Also, sometimes if it’s just something short, I won’t bother. But I do try for my longer fics.

 30. What inspires you to write?

That old adage, if you want to read it, sometimes you just have to write it? Spite? Boredom? Honestly sometimes I just have ideas I have to get out of my brain and it’s write or go mad(der)

 31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

That it inspired them to write something.

 32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Sometimes, sometimes I find it distracting when writing because I end up singing along and forgetting what I’m writing, lol! I do sometimes get inspiration from songs, I guess mostly from the lyrics, but no particular band or genre – although I listen to a lot of country music!

 33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Little from column a, little from column b... littler still from column c...

 34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

Around 60k, I think.

 35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have. Primeval had/has a week drabble challenge, mostly when I’ve written drabbles it’s been for a challenge, with a specific prompt.

 36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Uh... I mean, my fandoms really span the genres, but I guess sci-fi or crime are probably my favourites.

 37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third mostly, I have occasionally written in first person, if it felt like the fic needed it.

 38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

Little from column a, little from column b... it depends on the fandom and the story. Sometimes you just need more characters, mostly they are minor roles, I don’t tend to write much established character/oc fic

 39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Ability to convince myself people will want to read it, lol! No actually to be honest, I love to know people read and like my stuff, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to ‘please’ people with what I write. I write what I want to read.

 40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Focus. The problem with 21 years of fandom history, is well... 21 years of fandom history. A lot of fandoms, a lot of pairings and as I say, I never really ‘leave’ a fandom, I just drop in and out and sometimes that means I’ll write on something consistently for weeks or months and then end up getting distracted by another fandom again and not touch it for weeks or months again. Hence, I don’t post WiP fics, because I know I’m easily distracted and don’t want anyone to suffer my lack of focus but me.

  Fanfiction Questions

 41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I don’t read WiP fics, so yeah... but 5 I’ve recently read in different fandoms that I’ve really enjoyed

 Turns Out, I Have a Rose Garden by betheflame (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)

Lucky by china_shop (Neal Caffery/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke)

Colors by Quesarasara (Sherlock/John)

Betrayal by Blackghost7 (Gibbs/DiNozzo)

Matchmaker (Part 1 of the Marmalade Series) by HastaLux, Mottlemoth (Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)

 42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

See now this is hard, because... ahh so many...

 FredBassett – Primeval author, her Stephen/Ryan series is epic and brilliant and endless

https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/pseuds/fredbassett

 Keira Marcos – I know other people will have said her, I don’t care. I love all her stuff, across all the fandoms she writes in

http://keiramarcos.com/

 theapplepielifestyle – her Steve/Tony is amazing. Hands down some of the best I’ve ever read. I will fight you on this.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle

 JillyJames – her Tony DiNozzo is a real life grown up... exactly as he should be considered given he’s a goddamn federal agent!

https://jillyjames.com/

 missbecky – I’ve read pretty much all her Steve/Tony and Harry/Eggsy and it’s awesome.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky

 Honestly, I could have listed so many more, but, I’m being good!

 43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Everyone. The thing is, fandom at it’s best is like crack, the more you get, the more you want. The writing, the gifs, the art... it feeds you and makes you want to make more of it, because more of it needs to exist and if that means you need to do it yourself, so be it!

 44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

ALL OF THEM!

 45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Oh hell no, not even, I can not. It took me an hour to narrow down 5 authors, I can not narrow down one fanfic!

 46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I mean, it depends on what they like... probably the Hour of Separation I mentioned above, if they like the fandom/pairing, or my Animal Instinct stuff.

 47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

Archive of our Own. I haven’t touched ff.net in *years* since they started getting super restrictive about what you could post. I do occasionally post stuff to tumblr, but mostly I now post to AO3. I did have my own site and I’ve yet to upload a lot of stuff to AO3 – one of these... months... that will be a project – but it’s amazing. Seriously, having been in fandom 20+ years, going from having to search all over a million different places and now it’s all in one place, where we’re honestly, spoiled and protected. The kids now have no idea how crazy impossible that once seemed.

 48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, but not as often as I should. I love AO3s kudos button, so I can sort of say ‘hey I enjoyed this’ without having to comment, because I sort of hate leaving comments just going ‘hey I enjoyed this’ because I always feel like I should say more, like, oh I enjoyed this specific thing, which yes is an unnecessary hang-up, but there ya go.

 49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

Of course it’s nice to get comments, kudos, reblogs etc. I’m not as attached to them now as I was when I was younger, because I learned along the way that it was more important that I like what I’m writing than that other people do, but it’s still nice to know that something I’ve created is enjoyed.

 50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I went looking for Star Trek Voyager stuff online, pics etc, waaaaaaay back when! And I came across fanfiction entirely by accident... and I read some – het stuff mostly, then I started watching Stargate SG-1, went looking for fanfiction for that, but was not on board with Jack/Sam, found Jack/Daniel went ‘huh really? That’s weird’ read it... and yeah... 21 years later... lol!

 51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Ship Wars. No seriously, just don’t. Like, who the actual fuck cares. I like my ship, you like your ship. I don’t care if it’s canon or not. I don’t care if it’s popular or not. I don’t read my NoTPs, but I’d never dream of telling someone else not too. Yes I think they are terrible, bad, no good pairings, but that’s *my* opinion. Don’t try to change my mind and I won’t try to change yours. I avoid them like the actual plague. If someone starts that shit around me, I will shut it right down. You are a dick. Go to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.