#doug jones x reader

[plaidpyjamas]

you know how sometimes on tumblr you'll just be minding your own business, blogging like a little gremlin, and then out of nowhere a celebrity will reblog your thirst post and basically jumpscare you?

ok so imagine you've made a thirst post about one of the Avengers bucky, only for that specific avenger to reblog your post with a tag like nice or thanks or something idk I just feel like that would be a fun fic idea so I'm throwing it out into the world somebody write it PLEASE

[redroomreflections]

Out of Office

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: R gets a special surprise to her office

The Loud House Universe (this is not an au of the au. This is real life =))

W/c:3.8k

Play this when you read it https://open.spotify.com/track/4isk4UYRcmslphcTq61xUg?si=1vKGqQ_uQ2-Go9CEdnRq_g

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI

One of the perks of being the Assistant District Attorney of New York City is having your own corner office. The large windows offer a stunning looking of the bustling skyline of New York City. Of course the perks go beyond just the offices. There’s the satisfaction of tackling high-profile cases, the thrill of courtroom victories, and the respect that comes with the title. Today, you’re enjoying one of those benefits that’s seeming to be more like a con.

This meeting was boring to say the least. The topic had been on a rise of criminal activity in the area and how to prevent it. Normally, you would have been all ears. However, this meeting was anything but normal. It was the first meeting after the holidays and your coworkers were still in the post-Christmas mood.

The usual professional atmosphere was gone.

You sit in a chair across from the head of the long table, listening as best you can to the discussion.

"How about we continue this tomorrow?" Alex Cabot, your DA and overhead suggested. "Y/n? Any objection to that?"

You look up in surprise, wondering if you had missed something.

"No, not at all."

Alex smiles at you and then at the other two women.

"I think that's a good idea." You agree. "I'll get back to you with my thoughts on the Coleman case."

The three other women begin packing up their bags and heading out.

"Thanks for the meeting." You say as you get up and gather your things. "It was very informative."

Alex chuckles, clearly seeing right through your fib. "You used to be a much better liar than that."

"I'm just trying to be polite." You smile. "After all, we are in a room full of lawyers."

Alex laughs. "That we are. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow."

You leave the room, feeling like you could breathe again. You head to your office and stop by your assistant's desk in order to check mail and messages. The meeting was supposed to be thirty minutes and lasted more than an hour. You were more than tired. You were ready for the day to be over.

"Hey Y/n, a message came in for you earlier." Your assistant, Haley says. "You still need to review the police report for Jones and Jones. Also, an interview with Cass Daniels."

You sigh and look down at the file you're holding.

"Great, I'm swamped. Is the file with the Jones's case available?"

Haley nods and hands you a brown folder.

"Anything else I can help with?"

You shake your head and smile. "Unfortunately, not this time around."

"Hey, y/l/n, “ Your colleague Doug Stone greets. He does a little jog over to the desk.

"Hi, Doug, " You return. "Just the man I was looking for."

He looks confused. "Really?"

You hand him the file. "I just spoke with Alex. She says she wants you to handle the Jones case."

"But what about the-"

"I already reviewed it and made notes." You interrupt. "Just make sure to check out the new witnesses and that'll be it."

"Okay, so no problem." Doug nods, looking unsure. "Anything else I can do?"

You smile and shake your head. "Actually," You smirk. Just to get under his skin.

"Oh no," Doug shakes his head.

"I need you to get me a copy of the police report." You finish.

"You have one."

You shrug. "I think it would be a good idea to double check."

Doug rolls his eyes. "You know I came over here to see if you could ask the misses to go ahead and make some of that special eggnog she made over the holidays. Special order just for me."

You move to rebuttal when you hear a familiar husky voice behind you. You turn to see your wife standing there with that familiar smirk on her face. Natasha stepped further into the floor, her presence commanding attention. She had chosen a slightly floral midi dress that hugged her curves, the soft fabric contrasting with her typical demeanor. With her red hair pulled back and her eyes sharp and observant, she exuded a mix of elegance and strength.

"You can ask me yourself," Natasha grinned. She stepped closer to you and wrapped her arm around your waist. You landed a quick kiss to her head before looking over at Haley with questioning eyes. She's supposed to remind you if something important like your wife visiting.

"Sorry," She apologizes, quickly. "I was just about to tell you."

"It's okay, Haley," You wave off, smiling. "What brings you by, baby?"

"Can a girl come visit her wife in her office? I'm sure Tammy comes to see you all the time right, Doug?" Natasha tilts her head.

"Uhh..um, yes," Doug stumbles over his words.

Natasha gives him a smile. "Good." She looks up at you. "So, how's your day, babe? I didn't catch you at a bad time, did I?"

"Not at all," You answer.

"Actually, y/l/n has some errands to run," Doug cuts in.

"And Doug has a case to take over," You reply. Natasha looks suspiciously between the two of you.

"We're not going to have a problem, are we?" She asks.

"Of course not." Doug assures.

Natasha nods and smiles. "I'd hate to have to break up this lover's quarrel you two are having. But I would like to spend some time with you before your lunch is over." By the look in her eyes, you know exactly why she's come to your office so unexpectedly.

"Not a problem," You nod.

"I'm free for the rest of the day," Doug says. You send him a glare. "I'll just get a start on those files." He adds before making himself scarce. 

You give him a thumbs up. "Perfect. Haley, cancel my meetings for the next hour."

"Sure thing,"

You take Natasha's hand and lead her down the hallway towards your office.

"I love it when you get bossy," Natasha whispers, biting her lip. You feel the blush creeping up your neck.

"That was nothing," You wave off. You walk before her into the office to clear up a few things on the couch. The last thing she needs is to see how messy you are at work. "Where's Luke and Paige?"

"I left them with my mom today," She says disinterestedly.

"Oh, that's cool then," You nod.

"Now do you want to hear about Luke's diapering schedule, or should we talk about other things?" She steps over to you. It's then you notice the heels she's wearing. Those sexy Manolo Blahnik pumps in a deep blue that accentuates all of her curves.

"I think I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about," You answer honestly. You place your hands on her hips and pull her close. She giggles, placing her hands on your chest.

"Good," She leans in for a quick peck. "You're in a good mood today."

"That's because you're here." You hum. "You taste good."

"Lemon and ginger," She smiles.

"That's what it was. You taste delicious." You lean in again and capture her lips in a deeper kiss. Your tongue glides over her lips, coaxing them open. "Mm, I think you should surprise me in the office every day."

"If only I could." Natasha sighs. "Your coworkers would get tired of me or become jealous of you."

"I don't care." You whisper against her lips. "I only care about what's happening right now."

"Oh, is that so?" Natasha bites her lip.

You nod and reach around, smacking her ass. "That's what you're here for right? You couldn't wait for me to come home?"

"Something like that." She grins. She leans forward to kiss you again. This time as a distraction while she unbuttons your silk button down with her nimble fingers. Her lips are soft and warm against yours.

You pull away from the kiss and smirk. "We can't have sex in the office."

"That's a first." Natasha chuckles. "Why not?"

"I don't know if I'll want to stop after one round," You sigh when her hands find bare skin underneath your shirt.

"Hmm, we'll have to be quick then." Natasha murmurs, pressing her lips to your neck.

"I don't know," You groan when her teeth scrape across your pulse point. "You're quite loud."

"I guess you'll just have to keep me quiet," Natasha bites down on your neck. You let out a whimper, your body shivering.

"Damn it, Tasha," You growl.

She pulls back and flashes you a wide grin. "Do you think you can keep me quiet?"

"I don't know if I want you to be quiet," You open your eyes.

"Oh, is that so?" Natasha grins. She pulls your shirt down off of your shoulder, revealing your lacey black bra. She moves to do the same to the other side.

"Natasha," You warn.

"I'm just looking," She says as her eyes roam over your torso. "Admiring."

"Yeah, admiring is going to get us in trouble," You shake your head.

"Fine, fine," She steps back, taking her warmth and heat with her.

"Are you pouting?"

"I am," Natasha lowers her hands onto her hips. "You're denying me what I want."

"Come here," You offer a hand. She takes it and you lead her over to the couch. You sit down and pull her onto your lap. She settles her knees on either side of your hips and rests her hands on your shoulders. You begin rubbing her thighs, smoothing your hands across the smooth nylon of her leggings before you rip them. The sound drowning out the harsh breaths both of you are taking. You're so glad this office is at the corner and also doesn't have glass windows. Of course, she always gets what she wants.

"I thought you said we can't have sex."

"We're not," You murmur, your eyes focusing on the swell of her breast. "But we can do other things."

"Other things," Natasha nods. "Like what?"

"Just sit there and let me touch you," You say, pulling her down for a kiss. "You don't have any objection to that, do you?"

"None," Natasha says softly, her breath fanning over your lips. At the first press of your thumb against damp panties, Natasha lets out the sharpest squeak deep from the back of her throat.

"Told you that you would be loud."

"Shut up." She moans, her hips canting forward, chasing the contact. You give her another rub through the soaked material, her wetness seeping through. "Are you going to tease me?"

"Yes," You answer simply, kissing the exposed skin of her chest.

"Fuck, baby." Natasha groans.

"Shhh," You tsk, "Be a good girl and stay quiet for me."

"I want you inside," Natasha lowers her head to look you in your eyes. She reaches behind her back to unzip herself. She lifts her dress over her head and drops it onto the floor. She leans back over you and presses her chest to yours.

"I have a feeling this isn't going to end well." You groan, your eyes focused on her soft and supple breasts.

"I don't think we're going to get caught."

"Maybe." You murmur.

"Y/n, are you listening?"

"Huh?" You snap out of your daze. It's then you feel another wave of arousal as she releases her hair from its ponytail. She leans back on her hands and gives you a smug smile.

"Are you listening, Mrs. Romanoff?"

"I'm listening," You swallow thickly. You can't help but take her in.

"So, how about it?"

You look at her confused. "How about what?"

"I knew you weren't listening," Natasha laughs.

"I was thinking about how gorgeous you are," You admit. "How sexy you are. All the things I want to do to you."

"Oh yeah?" She grins. "Like what?"

"Well," You start, running a finger across her cheek. "First, I would have you sit there and watch as I undress."

"I'm interested," She looks you over. You should probably take those pants off unless you want them to be ruined with her juices. Not that you would mind it that much.

"I would go slowly. I would leave on my heels and my bra."

"Your bra?" She arches a brow. "No, take off your bra."

"Are you going to be difficult, or can I finish?"

"I'm sorry, continue," She waves a hand.

"Anyway, I would leave my heels and bra on. Then I would lay back on the couch and spread my legs for you. I'd want you to use your mouth and fingers."

"Mmm," Natasha hums.

"I'd have you fuck me with your fingers until I came all over them." You whisper, tracing her lips. "Then I would do the same to you. Just how you like it."

"How many times would you make me come?"

"Until you can't take it anymore." You answer. "Then I would clean you up with my mouth. Would you like that?"

"Fuck, yes," Natasha moans, her hips bucking against yours.

"Are you turned on, Tasha?"

"I'm beyond that," She admits. "I've been thinking about this since this morning."

"Yeah? You couldn't wait to have my hands on you."

"No," She whines.

You tap her thighs, instructing her to lift up so that you can strip yourself of your clothes. You rush over to the office door, locking it to ensure you won't be disturbed.

"What are you doing?" Natasha calls.

"Just making sure no one comes in and sees you like this," You explain, stepping back over to her. "They can't see what's mine."

"Would you let them watch?" She dares to ask.

"No," You growl, pulling her into your arms.

"And here I thought the idea would turn you on." She teases, trailing a finger along your collarbone.

"It does," You answer truthfully.

"But," She raises her brow.

"It turns me on to know that they can't have you," You admit. "Only I can touch you and see you."

"Touching has been minimal," She raises a perfectly arched brow.

"You're right," You smirk.

"How about we fix that," She whispers.

You nod and sit back down, taking her with you. You help to slide her panties off, tossing them to the side, before you get an idea. You pull her over to your desk, her eyes following yours quizzically before you bend her over. Your hands rub against the expanse of her back. You can't take your eyes off her perked-up ass and pussy on display for you.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting an idea."

"For?"

"This," You say, sliding a finger inside of her. Her walls tighten around the intrusion, and you let out a low moan.

Natasha's back arches and she hisses. You know it's not a sound of pain but pleasure. She wasn't expecting you to do it but she for damn sure loves it.

"I knew you'd be turned on by this," You tell her. You pump your finger a few more times before adding another.

"I am," Natasha agrees.

"Is this what you want, Tasha?” You slap her ass. "For me to fuck you like this. Have you dripping all over my desk?"

"Y/n," Natasha groans. "Stop teasing and give me what I want."

"What do you want, Natasha?" You question, curling your fingers. Twisting them as you thrust back into her.

"I want you to make me come."

"Not yet." You tell her. "I want to hear you."

"Baby," She whines, her hips rocking against the desk.

"What is it?"

"You're driving me crazy." She pants. "You have no idea what this is doing to me."

"I have some idea," You say cheekily as you watch your fingers, glistening with her slick, slide in and out of her with ease.

"Stop teasing and fuck me," She hisses.

"You want me to fuck you?"

"Please, y/n." She moans. "I'm so wet for you."

"I know," You hum. You push her legs open a bit wider. "Stay still for me."

"Fuck," She whimpers.

You lean over and pepper her back with kisses. Her skin is so warm and soft. You wish you could take your time, but you're both already on borrowed time. You speed up then, using your hips to add the slightest bit of force behind your thrusts. You know she likes it, her body shivering beneath you.

"That's it," She coos.

You place a hand on her back and move your thumb to her clit. You begin rubbing it in slow, circular motions. Natasha turns her head against the cool surface of the desk, her nipples becoming hard pebbles against the wood.

"I love seeing you like this," You whisper. "Taking everything I have to give."

Natasha's only response is a deep whimper. Not good enough for you.

"You love taking my fingers," You taunt. "But not as much as I love giving them to you."

"Shit, y/n, fuck." Natasha's body begins trembling. Her breathing becomes uneven. Her pussy walls fluttering against your fingers.

"Are you going to come, Tasha?"

"Yes, fuck." She cries. "Make me come, baby."

"Fuck, I love it when you call me that." You groan. You add a third finger, pumping faster. Her body quakes as you hit the right spot. Her toes curl as her orgasm tears through her body. Her moans are unbridled now, and you reach forward to press a hand against her mouth. That seems to turn her on more. Her body shaking beneath yours. Her body jerking from the aftershocks.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"I'm better than okay," She grins. "But if you don't fuck me again in the next five minutes, I'm leaving."

"Turn around," You instruct her. You help her on shaky legs to turn around and sit on your desk. This is going to be a bit more difficult to maneuver but you do. You drop to your knees and grab her thighs to pull her to the edge of the desk.

"I've need to taste you all day," You murmur to yourself.

"Baby," Natasha whimpers, her fingers resting atop your head. "I need you."

"You have me," You reply before swiping your tongue through her folds. She's so warm and delicious.

"Don't tease," She gasps, her legs trembling.

You look up at her from your place between her legs. Your eyes never leave hers as you wrap your lips around her clit, sucking.

"Just like that," She adds the gentlest bit of pressure for you to bob your head. The slurping noises for added effect have her head dropping down she can't handle it. "So close, baby. Don't stop."

"Never," You murmur against her. "I love this. Love eating you out."

"Y/n," She gasps, her hips lifting off the desk.

"Come for me, Natasha," You coax her.

She's so close to the edge, and she can't help it. She's helpless against the orgasm that rips through her body. She can barely hold herself up as you suck her through the orgasm, lapping up the juices spilling from her.

"Fuck," She whimpers.

You stand and kiss her, your tongue tangling with hers.

"Let me," She finally pulls back. She pulls you down to the floor before she pushes you onto your back. Rug burn be damned.

"Tasha," You gasp when she wastes no time in slipping two fingers inside of you.

"You're so wet," She groans. "I love you." She nuzzles your neck.

"I love you too." You murmur, reaching down to guide her thumb to your clit. "Harder."

Natasha's body covers yours. Her lips latch onto your neck. Her teeth scrape along the flesh. You know you're going to have a hickey there tomorrow. It doesn't matter. You're hers and she's yours.

"Tasha," You groan. "Please."

"Shh," She whispers, her other hand caressing your breast. She pinches your nipple, delighting in the shiver that runs through your body.

"Please," You beg her. "Make me come."

"Anything for you," Natasha smirks, curling her fingers. She thrusts harder. Faster.

"Fuck, I'm going to come." You warn her, your body tensing.

"I've got you," Natasha tells you. "I've got you, baby." She coos as you whimper pitifully.

"Don't stop," You beg. "Oh my god, don't stop."

"Never," She growls. "Come for me, y/n. I want you to soak my hand."

You cry out as you reach your peak. Your back arches off the carpet, and you ram yourself onto her fingers. You don't want to lose this feeling.

"Fuck, I can't," You sob.

"You can," She whispers, her breath fanning across your lips. "One more. Come on, baby."

"I can't," You sob. "Tasha, please."

"I've got you," Natasha promises.

Your body begins shaking as a second orgasm rips through your body. You're unable to form words as you're consumed by your desire. You don't even remember that you're at work and the possibility that if anyone were to come by your office, they could probably hear you.

"There you go," Natasha smiles, her eyes focused on you. "I'm right here, baby."

"Tasha," You whimper.

"Right here."

"Don't move," You pant.

Natasha uses her unoccupied hand to open the bottom drawer of your desk and take out a towel.

"What are you doing?" You ask her.

"I'm going to clean you up," She says, gently wiping your inner thighs.

"Thank you," You whisper.

"Always," She smiles.

"You're so good to me."

"You're pretty good to me," She winks, kissing the top of your head.

"What time is it?"

"Time for us to get the hell out of here." Natasha laughs.

"You're right," You sigh. "Can we go home?"

"I was thinking maybe we could order a pizza, put on a movie, and have dessert later."

"I think I could deal with that." You nod. "I can't walk just yet."

"I'll carry you," Natasha teases with a smug look. 

"Shut up," You laugh, swatting her away. "You know you're a little cocky after we fuck."

"And you're cute."

"Stop," You groan.

"I don't want to," Natasha replies.

"What do you want?"

"You," She answers. "Always."

"I'll be yours forever."

"Forever," She repeats.

"We should go," You whisper.

"I'm ready when you are."

"Let's get out of here."

Coming out of the office would be a little awkward. You should probably open a window. Your cheeks heat up at the thought. It was some of the hottest sex you had with her, and you can't believe that it happened here.

"You look nervous," Natasha notes.

"I'm not," You say.

"Liar."

"Tasha, come on. Let's go home."

"Whatever you say," She grins, taking your hand in hers.

"You're annoying," You mutter.

"And yet, you still love me."

"Unfortunately," You grin.

"I heard that," She calls.

"I meant for you to hear it."

"Brat," She says affectionately.

You really do love her.

[mattey-stu]

THIS MASTERLIST DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE.I HAVE MADE ANOTHER ONE.PLEASE CHECK THAT ONE ON THE TOP OF MY BLOG.

MASTERLIST:

FOR DISCLAMIER: I ONLY WRITE X MALE!READER.

AND I MIGHT WRITE SHIPS TOO.

THIS WILL BE UPDATED

RIVERDALE

FP Jones

none yet

Jughead Jones

None yet

Archie Andrews

None yet

SCREAM:

Stu Macher:

Stu Macher x Billy Loomis x Male!reader headcanons Poly!Ghostface

Billy Loomis:

The confession

Stu Macher x Billy Loomis x Male!reader headcanons Poly!Ghostface

Mickey Altieri:

None yet

Randy Meeks:

None yet

Charlie Walker:

None yet

Ethan fucking Laundry Basket (Ethan Landry):

None yet

Roman Bridger:

The Soundtrack: Roman Bridger x male!reader

SLC PUNK! :

Steve 'Stevo' Levy:

The party

Her0in Bob:

None yet

SENSELESS:

Tim Laflour:

None yet

Five Nights At Freddys:

Michael Afton/Schmidt:

None yet

Steve Raglan/William Afton:

None yet

ANIMAL ROOM:

Doug Van Housen:

None yet

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID:

Rodrick Heffley:

None yet

SAW:

Adam Stanheight:

None yet

Daniel Matthews:

None yet

Mark Hoffman:

None yet

Lawrence Gordon

None yet

Peter Strahm:

None yet

INSIDIOUS:

Steven 'Specs' Fisher:

None yet

FIGHT CLUB:

-I cant put any more gifs in here so uh *insert gif* -

Tyler Durden:

None yet

The 'Jack' Narrator:

None yet

Thank you for reading!

Ill age up all the characters when im writing smut.

Bros got that ass fr

[darknqlmes]

The Fighter And Puppy

PARING: Jackson West x Teen!Reader John Nolan x Teen!Reader Tim Bradford x Teen!Reader Doug Stanton x Teen!Reader

WARNING: Fighting! Language! Blood! Teen Violence! Teen Fighting!

SUMMARY: What if Evelyn saved Jackson West from the group of guys? What if she fought them all by her self?

(Doug Stanton is an asshole. I hate him. Not the actor; he's probably really nice.)

Walking around in L.A., California, was a girl named Evelyn Jones. She was just going for a stroll on a nice day when she started hearing grunts and groans. Curious, she went to check it out. When she was at a corner, she looked and saw four guys kicking and punching a police officer. Now, most people would run away, thinking they weren't strong enough, and most times they weren't.

Evelyn was trained by ex-Russian spies. So she knows a lot. wanting to help this officer, she approached them when she saw something in the corner of her eyes. Looking in that direction, she saw another police officer just standing there, watching this happen. Evelyn was frustrated. Furious. Walking up to them, she shouted.

"Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" The four men chuckled, thinking that a fifteen-year-old girl couldn't fight them. "I suggest you walk away. Before you end up like him, Evelyn looked at them with narrowed eyes. "Nah! I think I'm good. But now you have made me interested. You think you can beat me until I'm like that? Well, let's see."

Raising her fist in fighting position, she saw the four men do the same. Then they started fighting. She ducked the first few punches, getting her own with some kicks in the sides. Grunting, one of the men grabbed her in a choke hold, while the others started punching her. She elbowed the man in the chest, then brought her head down and hit his face as hard as she could with her head.

Pushing the three other men away, she spits out a little blood. "You know, you can just back out, little girl." Evelyn smirked and spit out a little more blood. "I'm good. I needed a fight today." The four men started punching and kicking. Evelyn knew how they were going to fight, so when one of them tried to kick her leg, she grabbed the leg and yanked him to the floor.

Kicking him in the face twice. Looking up at the three other men, she ran over to them, slid on the dirt, and kicked their legs until they weren't standing. Getting up, she started kicking them in the side, face, stomach, and back. Turning to the police officer, she jogged up to him and crouched down.

"Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. I'm gonna help you." Not knowing the codes for police officers, she grabbed his walkie-talkie and pressed the button on the side. "Officer down, I repeat, Officer down." Evelyn heard talking on the walkie-talkie. Mostly asking who was on the walkie-talkie. "My name is Evelyn Jones. I helped one of your police officers; he was getting beat by a group of four men."

-

Five minutes later, there were police surrounding the entire place. When the police first got there, they pointed their guns at Evelyn and detained her. Not wanting to go to jail, she complied. The last thing she heard was, "Hey, partner. What happened? What happened, partner?" Evelyn, who was furious, wanted to rip his head off.

Getting up, she started approaching them, not listening to the officers trying to get her back. "You did this! This is your fault! If I wasn't here, he would be dead! You selfish piece of  shit!" The officer looked up to her, faking confusion. "What? What do you mean? I was on the other side of the building." Evelyn was fed up with the lies.

"No, you weren't! I literally saw your bitch ass over there, behind the corner, just watching this shit happen! Even when I came out to help him, you didn't do shit!" All the officers looked at Doug; he just denied it. "No, no, I wasn't over behind the corner. Don't listen to this little bi-girl." Evelyn looked at one of the older officers. "Look at his body cam. I bet it's on that, Officer Nolan." Looking up at his name tag, Officer Nolan started nodding his head and grabbed Evelyn by the arm. Lightly, bringing her to the back of the shop.

-

Evelyn was let out of holding after watching Doug's body camera, which showed how he didn't do anything. Evelyn was almost home when she saw a car slow down next to her. Looking over, she saw that it was Officer Nolan. "Oh, hey, officer Nolan. How are you?" Officer Nolan smiled. "I'm good, and you can call me John. Also, I was wondering if you needed a ride home." Evelyn looked at him with questioning eyes. "Really? You'd give me a ride? But I'm a stranger."

John shrugged. "Well, I can trust you. Right? You are not a serial killer." Evelyn laughed and shook her head. "No, I'm not a serial killer." Walking up to the car door, she opened it and hopped in. "You aren't kidnapping me, right?" John shook his head. "No, I'm not. I just feel kind of bad that you don't have a ride home." Evelyn chuckled.

"Yeah, well, I'm not surprised." John looked over at Evelyn. "What do you mean?" Evelyn looked over at John. "Well, my parents hate me. They love my brother more and have always hated me. They yell at me, scream at me, and make me do everything! I'm getting exhausted." John is feeling really bad for this girl. He looked over at her.

"I, uh. I know this might sound weird, but you could sleep at my house for the night." Evelyn just stares at him for a few moments. "Yeah, you are asking me. A STRANGER! If they want to sleep at YOU'RE HOUSE?" John looked over at her with sheepishness. "Yeah, now that I think about it, that sounds very creepy."

John and Evelyn sit in silence for a few moments, then burst out laughing. Evelyn did agree to sleep over at his house for the night. John already thought that she was kind of a daughter, and he was proud. But he thought that Evelyn didn't see him as a father figure. But Evelyn thought that he was a father figure, even though they had just met that day.

PART TWO?

[x-manson-annotated]

X-Manson Annotated - Chapter Three - Part 2 - DOUG RAMSEY, ANGELICA JONES, AND VANCE ASTROVIK.

In this chapter we'll talk briefly about Doug Ramsey, known to comics readers as the beloved husband of Bei the Blood Moon. As usual, if you're here, you'll find the usual warnings in the pinned post.

I've thought about how weird this comment was for a while. But then when i posted it to r/menwritingwomen, a user pointed this out to me:

This actually makes so much sense and recontextualizes the entire fic for me. It makes me read these bracketed asides as the narration of Kitty watching it.

Marie-Ange Ramsey is Marie-Ange Colbert. Also known as Tarot. She's a member of the Hellions and has the mutant power to make things on tarot cards come to life. Feels real weird in this au, but whatever

we now transition to the Astroviks. Here we get a few more details of worldbuilding. The Avengers exist and have Firestar and "Vance Astro/Justice/Whatever his alias is" as members.

The Avengers existing is really bothering me for some reason about this fic. It seems to really drive the "The Avengers don't do mutant things" angle in a different way.

That's not a cult thing, Scott's just incredibly autistic, Vance, you prick.

Oh dougie.

I think McCoy being here contradicts Hank's testimony at the beginning. I think around this time was a period where he wouldn't have been present at the school (according to him).

Xavier's preoccupation is curious. What is he thinking about in this moment to draw away his attention? Perhaps who is he thinking about? Maybe who he's controlling? All of these things?

I don't think it was Xavier trying to get into his mind, I think it was David Haller.

I'm not sure what to make of these innate psychic defenses. I don't think Doug has that, usually.

Because there isn't anything in the house, the whole goddamn thing has been hollowed out.

Staff:

Jean Grey

Scott Summers

Logan

Hank McCoy

"The Irish Guy" (Sean Cassidy)

"The Russian Guy" (Piotr Rasputin)

Students:

(Piotr's Sister) Illyana Rasputina (this is unconfirmed if she is his actual sister)

Sam Guthrie

"Psyche" (Dani Moonstar)

Visitors:

Doug

Vance

Angelica

David.

Poor Gabrielle.

Gabby and Doug: The horror and the tragedy is immense, we don't know how we're going to cope with what's happened to us.

Vance and Angie: Golly gee, this is just super! That autistic fella let Vance drive a Rolls!

He was trying to communicate to her.

Dani just repeating that she's happy to be there sounds incredibly upsetting. How much of that was coerced through the usual means of abuse and how much of it was her brain being cooked by psychic powers?

Is Vance jealous of a guy he knew when they were teens?

Is the throne the equivalent of CEREBRO?

I don't know why, but this whole setup is reminding me of how the tables are arranged in the Harry Potter movies. Especially the first one.

The arrangement is odd. Xavier feels like he would be at the dead center large seat, but he isn't?

You're a fucking idiot, Angie.

That isn't vegetarian, Vance. You goddamn moron. It's people. It's people, Vance.

Angie continues to be the dumbest motherfucker in the room. This is after the fact and she hasn't put together that the voice speaking to her was David Lehnsherr and not the voice of the virgin mary.

See. David figured out what kind of fucked shit was happening and was trying to warn them.

I think...I think at this point, Bobby is dead. I think this would have been right around the time and this is before they recruited more people. So, I think that at the most we're seeing David catch a glace at someone's thoughts and he knows that they killed bobby and dumped his body in the lake.

[iwriteforthetincanman]

Kiss Marks, Not Bruises

A/N: this is such a cute idea and I almost missed it because I posted it saying I would write it straight away but I’ve been very busy since then so I haven’t really had a chance to, but here I am now! Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

Requested by: @skellytrash​

Despite snowflakes beginning to casually litter the grounds of the BPRD, you couldn’t stop the flurry growing inside of you. Worry etched into your features as you paced the garden. A pair of robins flitted past, a brief reminder of what, or rather who, you were waiting for.

“Agent Y/L/N!” Manning shouting out of a window from above you. “They’re back.” the solemn tone laced into his words did little to cease your concern.

“Oh Abe…” you muttered to yourself before charging back into the federal building at full speed. Skidding around each and every corner, you apologised to every agent you bumped into, never stopping as you rushed to the medical wing.

Upon opening the heavy doors, you gasped at what was revealed.

“...Hello love.” Abe had been stripped of his uniform, leaving him in his swimming shorts with his wonderful blue skin on full display. Only this time instead of admiring it, you couldn’t help feeling tears fill your eyes at the sight of the many bruises dotted across his body.

“Abe? ...what on earth happened?” the air around you turned chilly as you tried to keep calm.

“I’m fine Y/N. Trust me when I say it could’ve been much worse.” Abe attempted to joke, although he wasn’t aware of the full extent of your worry.

“Don’t you think I already know that! Everytime you leave on a mission that doesn’t ‘require’ me, I worry. They tell me not to since emotion links directly into my powers but how can I not? What kind of partner would that make me? Honestly, I wish you’d never get hurt at all…” You started pacing for a short while until you broke down into short, quiet sobs.

“My love, I’m sorry...I didn’t know.” Abe silently slipped off of the bed, wrapping his webbed hands around your forearms. “Please, sit with me?” His gentle invitation encouraged the small flurry building around your form to dissipate. Having powers relating to snow and ice was such a fragile business.

Most days you could be just as dangerous as Liz. Not today, today you just felt...shaky.

“You only didn’t know because I refused to tell you...apparently keeping secrets and freezing people out of my life are the only two things I’m good at.” You replied bitterly. Abe chuckled to himself at that.

“And I know, better than anyone, that that is nowhere near true. Y/N...you are wonderful. You take such good care of me and all those around you. Before I met you...I didn’t know I was capable of loving another person so...much.” It was rare to see someone as eloquent as Abe, struggling with his words.

“I didn’t know anyone even wanted to try loving me...I was all alone in those mountains. I was so surprised to see anyone up there. Let alone you and the others.” Thinking back on the day that the BPRD had found you upon a desolate mountain, they were surprised you hadn’t froze to death. But the legends were true, people were scared to travel up those mountains because they believed a witch had laid a curse on it. Anyone who dared to travel up those icy paths would never return...and if they did, they would never be the same.

Those legends were only half true. You had travelled up those mountains nearly half your life when you were a young girl. One day, you went up there and discovered an old woman, struggling to move. Thinking the worst, you took her back to your village and nursed her back to health. When the woman awoke she thanked you for your kindness, yet when she discovered you were all alone in the cottage she asked where your parents were. Telling her your parents had died and that you were an orphan hadn’t bothered you as much as it did her.

So, when she told you she was a witch, you weren’t surprised either. She offered to train you since you were ‘pure of heart’. But as you grew older and the witch’s grip on reality loosened, you realised, pretty soon, she was going to be leaving you all alone again. After that, you ventured into the mountains, hoping to never be seen again. Shooing away anyone who came close. Tempting yourself with friendship was something you couldn’t bear...not anymore.

That was until you saw him...your Abe. His appearance didn’t phase you at first, but he was freezing to death so you calmed down your flurry. The last thing you wanted to do was kill a literal fish out of water. Once he saw you, he thought he was dead. Claiming aloud that you were an angel, you couldn’t help letting out a little giggle, discouraging his claim.

Hellboy almost knocked you out after he saw what happened, he almost jumped the gun, thinking you were about to murder one of his closest friends. When in reality, you were just helping him up and out of the snow.

Keeping calm whilst falling in love with Abe surprised you. The emotions stirring within you set off a few more alarming new powers, but nothing you couldn’t easily cover up. Being in love brought out the best of you, little did you know, Abe was under your spell almost as much as you were under his.

Which is probably why it hurt so much more to see him like this. Love brought so many wonderful things along with it, but loving someone who got hurt on almost a regular basis felt like someone was stabbing at your own heart.

“Y/N...I’ve lived a long time and I’ve never loved anyone the same way I love you.” Abe’s sincerity brought tears of pure happiness to your eyes, even if your heart was still hurting. Wanting to show him that same amount of love, you began with pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

Watching the skin under your lips turn a light purple, you grinned at his blush. Pulling away, you bit your lip at the sight of the lipstick mark. It was a light pink, despite the powers you possessed you always tried to contradict them with a more summery attire.

Preferring the way it looked upon Abe’s skin, you began to decorate many different spots with the same mark. Hearing a giggle bubble up in his throat, you hummed at his reaction to your affection. Usually you were the one who would melt under his. But today you had been so worried and you weren’t going to waste another moment.

**

Little did you know Hellboy was walking towards the medical wing with a bunch of files Manning had gifted him. He needed help and of course, the first person he was gonna ask was his best buddy Abe.

“Hey Abe, old pal could you help-” after opening the door, Hellboy discovered a flustered Abe covered in lipstick marks with you sat next to him with an innocent look rendered useless by your smudged lips.

“...I’ll come back later.” HB chuckled to himself, closing the door.

[castielli]

How to request:

Send your request featuring the character you want, the plot (+ANGST, FLUFF…) and anything I need to know about the reader. I write MALE READER only

MASTERLISTS:

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OCs PROFILE:

@nathan-ocs

Fandoms I write for under the cut!

——————————————

(a -> z)

BARBIE

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Ken (Ryan)

Ken (Simu)

BROOKLYN99

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CALL OF DUTY (MW/WWII)

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DETROIT BECOME HUMAN

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RK900

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DIVERGENT

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Four

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FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM

Albus Dumbledore

Credence Barebone

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Newt Scamander

Theseus Scamander

FNAF (movie)

Mike Schmidt

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HARRY POTTER

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Finnick Odair

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Marvel

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LA CASA DE PAPEL

Berlín

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MARVEL (Avengers/X-men)

Alex Summers

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Marc Spector

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Peter Parker (Tom/Andrew/Tobey)

Peter Quill

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Sam Wilson

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Shang-chi

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Steve Rogers

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Thomas

NCIS

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NOW YOU SEE ME

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RIVERDALE

Archie Andrews

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Carl Gallagher

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SHERLOCK

Greg Lestrade

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Sherlock Holmes

STAR WARS

Anakin Skywalker

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STRANGER THINGS

Billy Hargrove

Dimitri

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Jason Carver

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Steve Harrington

SUITS

Harvey Specter

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SUPERNATURAL

Bobby (platonic)

Castiel

Chuck

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Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

TEEN WOLF

Aiden Steiner

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THE BOYS

Billy Butcher

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MM

Soldier Boy

THE BOYS IN THE BAND

Alan McCarthy

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Donald

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Hank

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THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (I still need to finish the last seasons🥱)

Ben Hargreeves

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Klaus Hargreeves

Luther Hargreeves

Number Five

Viktor Hargreeves

THE WALKING DEAD (+TELLTALE GAME)

Aaron Raleigh

Abraham Ford

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Doug

Dwight

Eugene Porter

Glenn Rhee

Kenny

Lee Everett

Mark

Morgan Jones

Negan Smith

Paul Jesus Rovia

Rick Grimes

Shane Walsh

Simon

Spencer Monroe

The Governor

WHITE COLLAR

Clinton Jones

Mozzie (platonic)

Neal Caffrey

Peter Burke

911 (and LONE STAR)

Bobby Nash

Carlos Reyes

Eddie Diaz

Evan Buckley (Buck)

Howie Han (Chimney)

Jud Ryder

Mateo Chavez

Owen Strand

Paul Strickland

TK Strand

CHRISTIAN BALE

Bruce Wayne (Batman)

Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)

PEDRO PASCAL

Agent Whiskey (Kingsman)

Dieter Bravo (The Bubble)

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Francisco Morales (Triple Frontier)

Javi Gutierrez (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent)

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Marcus Moreno (We Can Be Heroes)

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I WON’T WRITE:

-Smut (for anyone)

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-inc*st

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-Romantic/Suggestive stories for underage characters (only platonic, basically)

If the character you wanted to request is not on the list, you can try and ask me anyways.

[lolawassad]

Im gonna write a james cook x reader even though nobody reads for skins anymore lol

Everyone is out of character

Tw. Cussing, sexism? Small little fight blood injury

James cook x fem!reader

3rd pov

Y/n runs up behind her friends "ill take a lolly thanks pands" panda smiles and hugs her friend handing over a blue lollypop, effy smiles too and takes her friend in her arms "i missed you" she says before letting go and pulling her friends with her

Y/n starts walking into school with her friends effy and panda "so he just pretended like your dad hit him with his car? Using ketchup?" Y/n asks her friend confused.

Effy nods "he was your type though, looks wise, i highly doubt he has an actual personality i just rolled my eyes at him" she scoffs

"I love school" panda says before throwing her arms around her friends, both girls look at her fondly "yeah we know P we know" y/n says while they reach the doors to enter the gym.

Effy gasps "its him, next to the guy who is my type and the guy with nice hair" she tells her friend after panda runs up the bleacher and sits somewhere waving her friends over.

Y/n makes eye contact with the hot guy and quickly looks away, cook smirks before slapping freddy "its the girl you thought was bangable, and she brought a cute friend" cook states.

Effy and y/n walk up to panda, effy sits next to panda and y/n sits next to effy throwing her legs over her leg so they are resting between effy's lap, the stonem's girl's hand lays on top of her friends leg and pandas hand slips into effy's hand.

Cook looks to where he saw y/n walk up and stares at her, she doesnt look like his usual type but he cant help but want to talk to her, freddy laughs "what you falling in love cook? Thought that was bellow you" jj shakes his head "cook wants love hes just scared hes gonna be left so he sleeps around"

Doug walks to the mic making the trio of girls let out loud "YEAH DOUG" "WHOOPWHOOP" "OGGY OGGY OGGY" having heard all about the great man from tony stonem, effy's annoying older brother

Doug smiles before saying "oggy oggy oggy"

Then some speeches happen but effy and y/n arent paying attention they keep whispering at eachother about their summers

Then panda nudges effy nodding her head to the front, both girls quickly start paying attention again

"Form BD1, say your name, please, when I... Put your hands up, please, when I call your, erm, name. Emily Fitch? Katie Fitch? Jonah Jeremia Jones?"

"Jj present!" The cheery voice of jj says

The lady continues "james cook?"

Cook yells loudly "yo" before winking at y/n who was looking at him, she turns to effy "i like that name" effy nods in agreement with her friend "very pleasent" before they both giggle and start conversating again, panda joining this time telling all about the sweaters and cardigans she made with her mom also showing pics

Effy rolls her eyes but smiles while y/n nods her head and whispers "i need one of the cropped cardigans"

Y/n's head turns again when she hears james voice again saying "alright" before dropping his pants showing his tattoo.

Y/n's hand covers panda's eyes panda's hand goes to effy's eyes and effy's hand goes over y/n's

Effy yells out a "nobody wants to see that" making panda yell in agreement while y/n stays quiet and asks herself 'why is he kinda cute??'

The girls rush out when the assembly is done, y/n turns her head and looks for cook who is already looking at her, he winks again and she shyly waves before turning to her friends and linking her arms to theirs

"Oh! Look locker neighbours" y/n says excitedly when she sees her friends are next to her "yay" effy says sarcasticly but panda and y/n just kiss her cheeks before opening the lockers and putting some of the stuff they got today in it

Y/n turns to her friends "im gonna go get a snack you guys want anything?" She asks while throwing away the stick of her lollypop, both girls shake their head at her and she walks to the vending machine.

She types in the number for the snack she wants and when she goes to put some money in cook beats her to it, he bends down and grabs the snack handing it to her "here you go, pet" he says getting up and smirking at her "im cook" he says holding his hand out

"Y/n" the s/c girl says while shaking his hand with a smile she goes to say more but she hears effy yelling at someone "YOU FUCKING BITCH WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOUR GOING IF YOU TOUCH PANDA AGAIN YOU. ARE. DEAD"

Y/n smiles at james before running to effy "babes babes" she says pulling her friend back "its okay, it was an accident, right?" She asks the person who pushed panda, they smirk and shake their head "no, bitch was in the way, what you gonna do about it, your just some little girl?" They ask before punching y/n, the three girls freeze which makes cook jump into action "hey hey hey" he yells gaining the guys attention and punching him, resulting in a loud crack, "dont fucking touch her, ever again you hear me little boy?" He demands and the guy nods his head and rushes off, cook then turns to the crowd "fuck off or ill fuck all off your mom's" he sneers making everyone scatter.

He then turns to the sweet girl he just met "hey doll, let me look at that" he says softly while trying to get y/n to uncover her face, she shakes her head, its then effy notices her friend bleeding

She shoves cook back "dont touch her right now" she says before adding "please" and pulls panda off the floor and wraps her arm around y/n pulling her to the bathroom not noticing the blood trail they are leaving behind.

Cook on the other hand does notice it and he turns around and rushes over to the guy who went into a bathroom to fix his nose, cook slams the door "so what you like making girls bleed? Is that it" he sneers before slamming the guys face into the mirror, freddy and jj also run into the bathroom and are quick to pull their friend off "TOUCH HER AGAIN I DARE YOU" cook yells out with a crazed look on his face.

The commotion makes doug walk in "this isnt very oggy oggy oggy" he says "what happened?" He asks the four guys, the guy who is on the floor told him everything but freddy scoffs

"Sir hes lying, he slipped and fell, little clumsy fella he is" freddy says making cook and jj nod their heads "he also punched someone" jj says "this really nice looking girl named y/n" doug shakes his head "you punched y/n, young man you are in trouble" he says grabbing the guy by his collar and pulling him to his office.

"Effy it hurtssss" y/n whines when her friend tries to remove the blood but it keeps coming back, the door slams open making effy stand infront of her friend arms wide open protecting her

"Ooh its the guy y/n thought was cute" panda says happily cook walks up to y/n and softly grabs her face "fucking scumbag got dealt with" he sneers before tilting her head back and grabbing some paper towel wetting it and taking care of her nose "if it makes you feel better i think you are still fucking beautiful, pet" james whispers to y/n making her smile before she yelps in pakn "smiling hurts but thank you" she says trying not to cry from pain

Effy and panda look at each other before smiling and walking out, only to run into jj and freddy, freddy looks shocked at the scene of cook gently handling a girl and not in a sexual way "hes gone soft for a girl he doesnt even know" freddy comments

Effy smirks "our y/n has that effect" she says before she walks away.

"It hurts and i wanna get out of hereee" y/n whines to james, he nods his head before letting go off her head softly "lets go" he says nodding his head to the door, their friends are still there but james pulls y/n with him

"You should eat the snack i bought you earlier, dont want you getting hungry, doll" he says when they walk outside, the girl pouts at him "i was eating them and then the guy punched me and the snack went everywhere" she tells him

James nods his head and starts pulling her in the way of a snackbar "i dont need to eat though im fine" y/n says but he ignores her, he opens the door for her and nods his head making her enter, he smiles at the waiter and says "just a plate of fries please" and places down some money and pulls y/n to sit with him at a booth

the waiter puts down the plate of fries with a wink to y/n and he says "when you dont want a guy who punches you come find me baby" before glaring at cook.

Y/n and cook look at each other before softly laughing "what a dumbass" y/n says while grabbing a fry and eating it, cook nods his head just watching the girl in front of him eat

"Thank you by the way" y/n softly says, cook shakes his head "dont thank me pretty girl" he says making her shake her head "you dont know me you didnt have to do this for me" she says

Cook grabs her hand making her look at him "come on pretty girl, what kind of guy would i be if i just let someone hurt you?" He asks "also i couldnt take my eyes off you since the second i saw you, you just have something.. Something different, and its attracting me to you"

Y/n smiles at him before kissing his hand

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1283

Monday, October 14, 2019

 Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to one and all. Thank-you for reading this. The Jee Gang gathered for a turkey dinner yesterday with the littlest 2-month-old Ashton being passed around like a hot potato because he was tired and cranky. His mom got him settled but you couldn't hear his tiny cries for the raucous noise from his cousins. The kids took over the larger formal dining room now that they outnumber us old folks. It was a nice big family affair.

 Gwenpool Strikes Back #3 - Leah Williams (writer) David Baldeon (art) Jesus Aburtov (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Gwenpool tries to save herself from cancellation by holding a "Contest of Champions" in this issue. Guest stars galore. This thing is so much fun.

 Catwoman #16 - Joelle Jones (story & art) Laura Allred (colours) Saida Temofonte (letters). I'm glad I checked the credits on this issue since I said that I was going to let this cat out after reading last issue. I will always read a book by Joelle Jones even though this one had me befuddled with some jumping back and forth in time and the added "Year of the Villain" thing. I am curious to find out Catwoman's decision.

 Loki #4 - Daniel Kibblesmith (writer) Oscar Bazaldua (pencils) Oscar Bazaldua & Victor Olazaba (inks) David Curiel & Carlos Lopez (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). I love a good trickster. Loki uses a good one to defeat Nightmare. I like this Loki.

 Detective Comics #1013 - Peter J. Tomasi (writer) Doug Mahnke (pencils) Keith Champagne & Christian Alamy (inks) David Baron (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). It's Batman versus Mister Freeze as the super villain tries to resurrect his dead wife. Batman's flame thrower costume is a cosplayer's wet dream

 Doctor Doom #1 - Christopher Cantwell (writer) Salvador Larroca (art) Guru-eFX (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This was a pleasant surprise. The art caught my eye but the story is really good too. There's no sign of the good guy Sorcerer Supreme from a while ago. Just good old fashioned arrogant Victor. He scoffed at a new technology to reverse global warming and is accused of being jealous of it because it was invented by Reed Richards and Tony Stark. When disaster strikes, Latveria is blamed and Doctor Doom sacrifices himself for his country. The mystery is who framed him and I will keep reading to find out.

 Web of the Black Widow #2 - Jody Houser (writer) Stephen Mooney (art) Triona Farrell (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). What the!? Two Black Widows? Doctor Doom isn't the only one being framed for murder. I liked the clever cut-out on Nat's bathing suit.

 Miles Morales: Spider-Man #11 - Saladin Ahmed (writer) Ze Carlos (art pages 1-8) Ig Guara (art pages 9-20) Dono Sanchez-Almara with Protobunker (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Miles must solve the super hero's dilemma of saving a family member or a stranger's life. His decision leads to a confrontation with the Prowler. Is it Uncle Aaron? I can't wait to find out.

 White Fox #1 - Alyssa Wong (writer) Kevin Libranda & Geoffo (art) Israel Silva (colours)

VC's Joe Sabino (letters). Another Agent of Atlas super hero gets her origin story told. She's based on Korean folklore. It was very well done and almost makes me want to read the new team book. There's also a peek at the Future Avengers by Alyssa Wong (writer), Ale Garza (art), Dono Sanchez-Almara with Protobunker (colours) and VC's Joe Sabino (letters). They're an Asian version of the Young Avengers but these guys used to be Hydra agents in training. Read on if you're wondering what turned them into good guys.

 Age of Conan Valeria #3 - Meredith Finch (writer) Aneke (art) Andy Troy (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I wish the art inside was a nice as the Jay Anacleto cover.

 Marvel Action Spider-Man #9 - Delilah S. Dawson (writer) Fico Ossio (art) Ronda Pattison (colours) Shawn Lee (letters). The Black Cat gets caged as the kids finally work together and start to treat each other with respect. Next, things get even darker as Venom attacks.

 Batman 100 Page Giant #1 - There are five superb stories in this $4.99 US one-shot and you'll feel like you just read five $3.99 comic books when you hit the last page. The only story that was disappointing was the Batwoman story mainly because she was fighting a lame villain named Lord Death Man. It was written by Steve Orlando, who has never impressed me. The other four stories more than make up for it though, especially Scott Snyder's lengthy contribution. This book is a steal at twice the price.

 The Amazing Spider-Man #31 - Nick Spencer (writer) Ryan Ottley (pencils) Cliff Rathburn (inks) Nathan Fairbairn (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). More hints are given to the secret identity of the super villain Kindred. Definitely related to Norman Osborn. That mystery is the only thing keeping me reading this book. As if the waters weren't muddy enough, the guy in the straight jacket isn't even Norman. I hope we don't get strung along too much longer because there will come a point where I say screw it, I don't care anymore.

 Batman Universe #4 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Nick Derington (art) Dave Stewart (colours) Josh Reed & Tom Napolitano (letters). I don't mind this time traveling if it means that we see Batman and Green Lantern team up with Jonah Hex. The chase is on as Vandal Savage gets his hands on his prize. I know I've said that I don't like time travel and Vandal Savage, but this is a Bendis book and I'm a sucker.

 Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #2 - Jody Houser (writer) Adriana Melo (pencils) Mark Morales (inks) Hi-Fi (colours) Gabriela Downie (letters). I think the Floronic Man chowed down on Swampthing and Ivy is next on his menu. Well, it's Harley to the rescue and the girls seek help from a fellow super villain to see what's wrong with Ivy. I'm reading this because it looks so pretty.

 Powers of X #6 - Jonathan Hickman (writer) R.B. Silva & Pepe Larraz (art) Marte Gracia & David Curiel (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). The house is built and the power has been connected for a new X-verse. Jonathan Hickman has managed to make mutants relevant again for me. There are a half a dozen new mutant books coming out in the next six weeks starting with X-Men #1 hitting the racks October 16. I'll be reading them all to see how I feel about them but I can't imagine that they'll be all worthwhile.

 Event Leviathan #5 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Alex Maleev (art) Josh Reed (letters). I'm curious to find out who Leviathan is but it's not going to have a big impact on me since I'm not a huge DC fan. I'm sure DC fans might be able to suss out the secret given the Manhunter clue in this issue but I'm going to have to wait until next issue when all is revealed.

 Joker/Harley: Criminal Sanity #1 - Kami Garcia (writer) Mico Suayan & Mike Mayhew (art) Richard Starkings of Comicraft (letters). I love new and different takes on iconic characters and this one is a killer. Harleen Quinzel is Doctor Harley Quinn, GCPD profiler, who is working a 5-year-old cold case of the murder of a hospital employee. Meanwhile there are other new murders landing on her desk. The writing is tight and the characterisations are vivid, helped by the beautiful art. Mico's black and white art chronicles the present while Mike's gorgeous colour art handles the flashbacks. DC's Black Label imprint is well worth checking out if you're a mature reader. This mystery not only looked good but made me feel good after I finished reading. I can't wait to find out what happens next.

 Contagion #2 - Ed Brisson (writer) Stephen Segovia (art) Veronica Gandini (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I know I said that I wasn't going to read any more of this 5-issue mini but this was on the racks with the awesome Power Man and Iron Fist cover so I snagged one after I finished reading all the others for the week. This issue was better thought out and the story flowed smoothly. Ben takes Sue, Reed and Johnny to Doctor Strange for help and the two of them go back to Yancy Street to contain the infectious bad guy. Danny and Luke are there helping the first responders and a couple of surprise super heroes show up too. The villain is briefly subdued but Doc Strange and Power Man succumb to the disease at the end. Uh-oh. The next issue teaser has Jessica Jones so that's reason enough for me to want to read it.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 18 February 2019

Quick Bits:

Aquaman #45 gives us a new creation story with Father Sea and Mother Salt. It’s interesting world-building for what’s going on on this island. Robson Rocha, Daniel Henriques, and Sunny Gho seem to level up on their art again. This book is gorgeous.

| Published by DC Comics

Avengers #15 continues the vampire civil war, with the Shadow Colonel basically kidnapping Ghost Rider. Jason Aaron is definitely taking this series in weird places, but it remains highly entertaining. Especially with collaborators like David Marquez and Erick Arciniega who deliver some incredible artwork.

| Published by Marvel

Avengers: No Road Home #2 reveals how Nyx and her family took Olympus. There’s also a neat parallel narration for Hawkeye explaining how the guy with just a bow and arrows can take on gods and monsters. The art from Paco Medina, Juan Vlasco, and Jesus Aburtov is gorgeous, they really seem to pushing themselves with their storytelling. It’s just a shame that none of the artists are credited on the cover.

| Published by Marvel

Barbarella/Dejah Thoris #2 is ridiculously impressive. Leah Williams, Germán García, Addison Duke, and Crank! are delivering an intelligent, humorous, and compelling adventure tale here that reminds me a lot of some of what Alan Moore and Chris Sprouse did in Tom Strong. It’s incredibly inventive and the artwork is amazing. Highly recommended.

| Published by Dynamite

Batman #65 gives us the penultimate chapter of “The Price”, featuring an all out battle between Flash, Gotham Girl, and Gotham. The artwork from Guillem March and Tomeu Morey is stunning, with some incredible layouts as the action continues.

| Published by DC Comics

Black Widow #2 is fairly bloody and violent as Natasha racks up a body count tracking down the people running “No Restraints Play”, a site that specializes in depravity. Flaviano’s line art seems scratchier than the first issue, but it works for the violent tone of story.

| Published by Marvel

Bloodborne #9 begins the third arc, “A Song of Crows”, as Aleš Kot, Piotr Kowalski, Brad Simpson, Aditya Bidikar, and Jim Campbell spotlight Eileen the Crow. This is a bit of return to the kind of abstract storytelling and embrace of oblique existentialism of the first arc as Eileen investigates the ritual murder of a hunter, but is confounded by time and holes in the narrative.

| Published by Titan

Catwoman #8 is ostensibly the “conclusion” to “Something Smells Fishy”, but it doesn’t actually end the story in any way and leaves the reader at a cliffhanger of continuing elements. That being said, it’s still an entertaining issue from Joëlle Jones, Elena Casagrande, Fernando Blanco, John Kalisz, and Josh Reed. Wonderful action sequences, and more questions as to the nature of a reliquary that seems to contain resurrective powers.

| Published by DC Comics

Delver #1 begins a new Comixology Original series from MK Reed, C. Spike Trotman, Clive Hawken, Maarta Laiho, and Ed Dukeshire. It’s a very intriguing and unique take on the fantasy gaming theme of a dungeon full of treasure and monsters with delvers working to plumb the depths. But it’s from the perspective of the townsfolk whose land the door to the dungeon appears in and how it changes and impacts their lives. 

| Published by Iron Circus Comics

Doctor Strange #11 concludes the battle with Dormammu and the Faltine, for now at least, from Mark Waid, Jesús Saiz, Javier Pina, Rachelle Rosenberg, and Cory Petit. Some very nice art as usual from Saiz, Pina, and Rosenberg.

| Published by Marvel

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #3 continues “Mother of Exiles” from Tom Taylor, Juann Cabal, Nolan Woodard, and Travis Lanham as Peter finds out a bit about the rumours regarding his neighbour and Under York, another duplicate New York City under New York City, that oddly isn’t the Monster Metropolis. Great humour from Taylor in the dialogue.

| Published by Marvel

Guardians of the Galaxy #2 takes a somewhat different approach as Peter Quill drunk dials Kitty as he tries to make sense of what’s going on with Thanos, Gamora, everyone who’s dead, and the current state of the Guardians. Donny Cates, Geoff Shaw, Marte Gracia, and Cory Petit are really taking this series into interesting offbeat territory, while still delivering some excellent humour and an ominous feel to Starfox’s new band of “guardians”.

| Published by Marvel

Incursion #1 begins a new mini picking up on where the Eternal Warrior and Geomancer are since Harbinger Wars 2 and Ninja-K, and pit them against Imperatrix Virago, a cosmic villain that is devouring worlds (kind of like if Galactus were pestilence), from Andy Diggle, Alex Paknadel, Doug Braithwaite, José Villarrubia, Diego Rodriguez, and Marshall Dillon. The art is incredible, the stakes seem pretty high, and the outlook after this first issue look pretty grim for Earth.

| Published by Valiant

James Bond 007 #4 sees Stephen Mooney join Greg Pak, Tríona Farrell, and Ariana Maher for the art chores for three issues, continuing the tale of Bond and “Oddjob”’s team-up. Like Marc Laming, Mooney seems to be born to draw Bond and espionage themed stories.

| Published by Dynamite

Judge Dredd: Toxic #4 concludes what has been an excellent series dealing with xenophobia and hateful rhetoric from Paul Jenkins, Marco Castiello, Vincenzo Acunzo, Jason Millet, Shawn Lee, and Robbie Robbins. I’ve always found non 2000 AD Judge Dredd stories to be a bit of crapshoot, but IDW have been delivering well with the past two mini-series, this and Under Siege.

| Published by IDW

Justice League #18 is the latest excursion into the Legion of Doom territory from James Tynion IV, Pasqual Ferry, Hi-Fi, and Tom Napolitano. It works with some of the revelations from last issue regarding Martian Manhunter and builds a new narrative for Lionel Luthor’s past and his work with Vandal Savage. It’s interesting to see Tynion working with variations on discarded continuities in this way, building a new past that synthesizes pre-Flashpoint ideas with the current batch of backstories.

| Published by DC Comics

Middlewest #4 only seems to be getting better and better as more of this world and how it seems to work get fleshed out by Skottie Young, Jorge Corona, Jean-Francois Beaulieu, and Nate Piekos. There’s something incredibly magical and special about this series that taps into the feeling of some of the best coming-of-age fantasies as it blends Ray Bradbury, JM Barrie, and Carlo Collodi into this magical realist adventure.

| Published by Image

Miles Morales: Spider-Man #3 concludes the opening arc from Saladin Ahmed, Javier Garrón, David Curiel, and Cory Petit by adding Captain America to Miles & Rhino’s team-up. This has been a very entertaining start to the series, with a nice mix of Miles’ personal life and superheroics.

| Published by Marvel

Naomi #2 reasserts that Jamal Campbell is a powerhouse of an artist and one of the best kept secrets of the past few years who really should have a higher profile. His art is amazing. It also helps that the story he, Brian Michael Bendis, David F. Walker, and Carlos M. Mangual are telling is as compelling as this, as Naomi confronts Dee as she tries to learn about the day of her adoption. It’s very widescreen and epic as it hints at the broader DC Universe, but at the same time this is very deeply personal.

| Published by DC Comics

Old Man Quill #2 gives the Guardians a taste of the depravity and despair that Earth has fallen to in this post-superhero world. Ethan Sacks shows there’s still a bit of humour left, though, in that Piledriver’s descendent thinks that Piledriver was one of the all-time greats. Also the art from Robert Gill and Andres Mossa gives a wonderful amount of detail to the wastelands.

| Published by Marvel

Relay #4 returns after a delay with new artist Dalibor Talajić (I believe Andy Clarke had to bow out due to illness, but I’m not 100% sure on that). Talajić’s art style is not as bright and clean as Clarke’s, giving a darker, shadowy approach that results in the bleak, horror elements of the story coming further into focus.

| Published by AfterShock

Seven to Eternity #13 returns from its own lengthy delay to conclude the arc in Skod, with the revelation of part of Adam’s choice to save the Mud King. It reiterates the theme since the beginning that there seem to be no good choices in this world, that everything tainted, despite Adam’s father believing the world black and white. While we are going into another trade break, Rick Remender, Jerome Opeña, Matt Hollingsworth, and Rus Wooton consistently make this worth the wait.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Sharkey: The Bounty Hunter #1 is the latest of Mark Millar’s Netflix feeder series, after The Magic Order and Prodigy, with Simone Bianchi and Peter Doherty rounding out the team. This one feels a bit like if Warren Ellis were writing Strontium Dog, and it works. The artwork from Bianchi is worth it on its own. Gorgeous character designs.

| Published by Image

Venom #11 is another holy crap issue from Donny Cates, Ryan Stegman, Joshua Cassara, JP Mayer, Frank Martin, and Clayton Cowles. There are some really big revelations about Eddie and his family that really need to be read firsthand. Amazing work.

| Published by Marvel

X-O Manowar #24 reminds us again just how good of an artist and storyteller Tomás Giorello is. The action sequences and battle between Aric and Hesnid is incredible, with fairly inventive layouts that just elevate the overall impact of the pages. Giorello and Diego Rodriguez really make this something joyous to behold.

| Published by Valiant

Other Highlights: American Carnage #4, Bitter Root #4, Black Badge #7, The Black Order #4, Breakneck #3, Coda #9, Death Orb #5, DuckTales #18, East of West #41, Evolution #14, Exorsisters #5, Go Bots #4, Grumble #4, High Level #1, Hot Lunch Special #5, Jessica Jones: Purple Daughter #2, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #5, Jim Henson’s Labyrinth: Discovery Adventure, Jughead: The Hunger #12, Lightstep #4, The Lone Ranger #5, Lucifer #5, Lumberjanes #59, Mars Attacks #5, Monstress #20, Outpost Zero #7, Rainbow Brite #4, Shuri #5, Solo: A Star Wars Story #5, Star Wars Adventures #18, Starcraft: Soldiers #2, Stronghold #1, Sukeban Turbo #4, Superb #17, TMNT: Urban Legends #10, Teen Titans #27, Turok #2, The Unstoppable Wasp #5, The Witcher: Of Flesh and Flame #3

Recommended Collections: Amazing Spider-Man - Volume 2: Friends & Foes, Bedtime Games, The Beauty - Volume 5, Black Lightning: Brick City Blues, Captain America - Volume 1: Winter in America, Days of Hate - Volume 2, High Crimes, Infinity 8 - Volume 3: The Gospel According to Emma, Old Man Hawkeye - Volume 2: The Whole World Blind, The Punisher - Volume 1: World War Frank, West Coast Avengers - Volume 1: Best Coast

d. emerson eddy would do anything for a Klondike bar, but he won’t do that.

[studentsofshield]

What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, and the American Way?

By Vincent Faust

(This was originally published on October 25, 2015)

Is Superman still relevant?

This is a question DC has struggled to answer since he came back from his heavily publicized death in 1993 (if not further back). An almost innumerable number of casual superhero fans will argue that Supes is no longer relevant. Legions of hardcore comics fanboys will go to bat for this position too. He’s too idealistic. He wears underwear over his pants. His secret identity is dumb. Why is our intended number one superhero not even from our planet? He’s way, way too overpowered. But at the same time, with all that power he doesn’t do all that he can do, he holds back. He’s an outdated hero from a forgotten era. These same sentiments are thrown around to a lesser extent toward Captain America. What went wrong? Can the “Big Blue Boy Scout” be saved? Joe Kelly’s revered “What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice and the American Way” tries to address this question.

Action Comics Vol 1 775 (2001) Written by Joe Kelly; penciled by Doug Mahnke and Lee Bermejo; inked by Tom Nguyen, Dexter Vines and others; colored by Rob Schwager; lettered by Comicraft

Superman hasn’t had a truly mass appeal ongoing title in years. Superman and Action have been critical and financial disappointments since the New 52, outside of the esoteric bits Grant Morrison did that were bound to not be film source material or mega sellers. James Robinson, Kurt Busiek and Geoff Johns (among others) were juggling him before the reboot with middling success. It seems that almost every great Superman story is a limited series or one-shot. All-Star, Birthright, Secret Identity, Man of Steel, Red Son, For All Seasons. Is he just hard to write for?

Much of the public dislike and misunderstanding of Superman has to do with his appearances in media outside of comics. Superhero adaptations had almost universally been bubblegum for decades. Batman ‘66 defined campiness, intentionally or not. Early serials were poorly adapted, purely picking up the superficial aspects of the characters and stories that had proven so memorable on the page. 

In 1978 Richard Donner changed that forever. He set out to prove that superheroes could work on the silver screen. Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman were involved. He figured out how to achieve the flight effect convincingly. It worked. The film was a massive success. Millions were inspired by Christopher Reeve’s portrayal. Everyone knows John Williams’ iconic theme just the same as his other masterpieces from Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter or Jurassic Park. They can whistle it on cue. Despite it’s successes, the film started a blight on Superman’s reputation that wouldn’t be realized until years later.

Donner can’t be faulted for being a devout Superman fan. Years later, he would co-plot an acclaimed Superman story with Geoff Johns. However, perhaps he was too into the early Silver Age stories of his youth or had too much boundless imagination. His Superman had nigh endless powers. At the climax of the film, Lois Lane dies. Superman infamously flies around the Earth so fast that he manages to reverse time and save her life. Though arguably cheap plotting, the idea was novel and it made for a visually and emotionally memorable set piece. This stood out to the audiences though. It was a great movie, but people like underdogs and characters with faults. Spider-Man is ridiculously popular for a reason. The dude can just reverse time whenever he screws up and has only one weakness to a rare rock. 

Jerry Seinfeld, another fan of Supes, brought this argument even more into the mainstream through bits on his show and some Amex commercials. 

In his original stories by Siegel and Shuster, Superman could simply leap over buildings in a single bound. The more writers, artists and crazy stories that he was strung through, the more powers he picked up along the way. Flight, super strength, super speed, heat vision, X-ray vision, super hearing, super breath (with freezing ability), and depending on your canon, literally anything else. Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths, John Byrne tried hard to boil Superman down to his basic power set. The problem was that the average American was not reading comics in 1986. Their vision of the Man of Steel was still Richard Donner’s interpretation, and neither Bryan Singer nor Zach Snyder has done much to waver that in the meantime.

Parallel to the public’s souring on Superman, a new crop of superheroes was popping up that directly challenged his ideals. In the 1990s, Image comics boasted how their characters and stories dealt with the moral grey and weren’t simple 1940s cardboard cutouts. They killed the murderers, rapists and child molesters of the world. Marvel and DC understandably chased after this success and pumped up characters like the Punisher, Deadpool (interestingly Joe Kelly is considered Deadpool’s biggest innovator and signature creator) or Lobo. Though in retrospect many of these stories are considered garbage, they sold bucket loads. 

A new wave of writers and artists were popping up too. Some brilliant men from across the pond with trademark UK dark humor and cynicism to infuse into these stories. Though your early image anti-heroes were throwaway pieces of shit, some of these books were genius. Warren Ellis and Bryan Hitch’s Authority was arguably the peak of this. A superhero team with the motto “by any means necessary.” They fought “God” at a point. Though not the top of the charts, the Authority is easily one of the most influential projects of the era, its DNA of moral ambiguity and wide screen action bleeding into everything under the sun.

“What’s So Funny” starts with a new superhero team making their entrance by obliterating a giant mutated creature, along with half of the city around the battle. They announce themselves as The Elite by forcefully downloading their manifesto to every computer in the world (a la Apple and U2). They then completely demolish a team of villains that had aims to turn Tokyo to rubble. 

The reader is introduced to these infamous newcomers on the scene. We have Menagerie, a buxom woman with a symbiotic suit reminiscent of Venom or Witchblade; Coldcast, a comically humongous, muscular Black man accessorized with manacles and chains with abilities of electromagnetism; The Hat, an elemental with his eponymous fedora from which he can pull anything he desires; and their leader Manchester Black, a smoking, Union Jack graphic tee, Doc Martens and leather trench coat-clad, purple-haired, incredibly powerful telekinetic. Black’s inspiration is practically transparent, whether it is The Authority’s Jenny Sparks or more broadly the British writers aforementioned. 

Superman comes across them multiple times, witnessing their scorched Earth tactics. All the while, their approval ratings are soaring. 

A powerful series of panels shows a group of young kids playing “superheroes” like they would cowboys and Indians or army games. The kid playing Superman is pissed and storms off with, “I can’t KILL you, but YOU can kill ME! How can I stop you if I CAN’T KILL?” His friend dressed as Black replies, “You CAN’T. So let us kill YOU. And you can be SOMEONE ELSE.” Over a beautiful Metropolis sunset, “Okay, kill me an’ I’ll be somebody COOL. Bein’ Superman IS SO BEAT” is captioned.

In bed, Superman discusses with Lois his plans to put the Elite in line. 

Superman - “People have to know that there’s ANOTHER WAY, Lois. They have to hear a voice of COMPASSION and FAITH instead of SPITE and ANGER. They have to see that SOMEONE believes in humanity strongly enough…”

Lois - “To DIE for them?”

Supes requests the battle be held off-planet to prevent collateral damage (something slightly altered for the animated adaptation of this story). 

Black monologues that “This isn’t about LOVE. It’s about removing the cancers that fester in us and flushing them down the TOILET. The people don’t WANT babysitters in SPANDEX to slap them on the wrist when they’re bad. They want SURGEONS to cut the ugly bits from them and CHARGE them through the moral NOSE. DOCTOR MANCHESTER BLACK at your service.”

After initially wrecking the Man of Steel and thinking they have won without contest, the Elite are surprised by Superman coming back and seemingly killing all of them off without much effort. 

Before dealing with Black, he’s asked “How does it feel to have your FLAWS EXPLOITED? To be DECONSTRUCTED? How does it feel to WATCH DREAMS DIE?”

He proceeds to whip out the heat vision, to the amusement of Black. Supes then explains that he just performed surgery and removed the abnormality in his foe’s brain that lent him his powers. Black breaks down in tears and yells that the Big Blue has shown the world that he’s no better than the Elite. Superman turns to the cameras and explains how Black’s morals that he briefly borrowed aren’t right. He states, in an almost fourth wall breaking manner, “I don’t LIKE my heroes ugly and mean. Just don’t BELIEVE in it.” 

The issue ends with the poignant final page that begins this post.

“Dreams save us. Dreams lift us up and transform us. And on my soul, I swear… until my dream of a world where dignity, honor and justice becomes the reality we all share, I’ll never stop fighting. Ever.”

Through this story Joe Kelly argues that, even with his endless powers, Superman is still important to our world, both in the DCU and in real life, as a powerful aspiration to reach toward. 

Superman is often compared to Jesus. In reality, a pair of Jews gave birth to this monolithic figure that an entire fictional mythos revolves around. On the page, a mighty civilization sends their last son to ours to protect and inspire us. Cinematographers are especially huge fans of pumping up this parallel. Superheroes taught me my morality. Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Bruce Wayne and Charles Xavier are my biblical figures.

Action Comics 775 is considered one of the greatest Superman stories of all time. Hell, it’s considered one of the greatest comic stories of all time. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have to agree that it is one of the best Supes stories of all time. It isn’t without its faults though. 

The biggest flaw of the story is pacing. A running start to immediately introduce us to the Elite is a great idea. The initial reactions of media types and then-president Lex Luthor are handled well.

Once Superman actually meets the Elite, the plot moves along way too jarringly. Part of the problem is the conveyance of action. The quickness of the first scene makes sense to show the sheer power of the Elite. Their splash page introduction is on point. The second fight they crash with the Klee-Tees suffers from poor storytelling from the art team. It is simply unclear how time passes and movement occurs between the panels. It’s unknown whether this blame should fall on Kelly’s script or the execution on pencils.

The Lois and Clark conversation in bed is executed perfectly though. The monochromatic coloring on these pages works wonders to set the mood. The shot of Superman standing in the street right before calling on the fight is beautiful.

The final fight is way too confusing to tell what is happening. The action should be epic and brutal, not jump cutted along. This is handled a little better in the DC animation version of the story simply due to the differences in the two media. However, this isn’t an excuse when plenty of comics convey action expertly.

I’ve harped on the art a bunch. I’m honestly not a huge fan of this art style in the first place, removed from the actual execution of the story. So I concede bias. However, part of my dissatisfaction may be explained by the fact that this single issue has a grand total of six inkers on it. The premise and most of the script is top of the line though. Oftentimes writers are given too much credit in comics. Their name comes first on the cover. Artists arguably do the most work in actually telling the story. That is the downside with this book, but also why Joe Kelly deserves most of the recognition for its genius.

I think there are a few things that could have been done by Kelly and DC to truly ensure this would stand the test of time as a masterpiece. It desperately needs more focus on the artistic side. I’m honestly not really sure which parts of the book Mahnke did and which ones Bermejo did. I’m not a giant fan of the style, obviously if they somehow got someone like Brian Bolland it would probably be better. However, even accepting the general style, there should have been one penciler and one inker. Speaking of Bolland, it makes a little sense to compare this to The Killing Joke. They’re both highly regarded single issues. 

“What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice & the American Way” stands as a legendary story. Probably one of the absolute best single issues in comics history.

[theliterateape]

American Shithole #29 | End of Act II (The Empire Struck Back)

By Eric Wilson

As many Literate Ape readers understand, the end of Act II typically involves the dropping of the curtain on our heroes in the worst of states. Usually, there’s a terrible reveal or turn of events. It’s the point in the story when all seems lost.

My earliest understanding of how the second act of a three act drama works, The Empire Strikes Back, hit theaters just as I was finishing 7th grade. If you are not familiar, at the end of the second film in the Star Wars trilogy our hero, Luke Skywalker, confronts the villain, Darth Vader, only to lose handily (ha!) whilst finding out that the antagonist is also his dad. I wasn’t used to my heroes getting their asses kicked (or their hands chopped off), but that was my introduction to the nadir of the Hero’s Journey.

Now — I offer this Star Wars descriptive, not because I think there are people out there who have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about, I do so because I actually live with someone that has never seen, in full, the original A New Hope or The Empire Strikes Back, so I know there are people out there who have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about.

Which, I’m sorry, but that’s just fucking weird. That’s weird. You’re weird, and you all know who you are.

Seriously, Star Wars is a few hours of your day, and a lifetime of nerd references at your disposal. How many times have you stood clueless in a terribly boring conversation about lightsabers with dorks like me? (And how many times have you watched Clueless?)

Also, I think we just got our hand chopped off, America.

In this tepid analogy, Skywalker — in particular, his lightsaber-wielding right hand — is the physical manifestation of the Arm of Justice. Republicans have done away with that arm via the Kavanaugh confirmation (and the Merrick Garland block); and they did it out in the open, with no fear of reprisal, in one of the ugliest displays of partisan politics I have ever witnessed.

The United States Senate. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

It bummed me out so much I spent the weekend trying to hide in the decade I grew up.

I watched Robocop on Saturday night — another classic from the ’80s.  Peter Weller loses his hand at the beginning of the film, which fails to serve my Act II argument, but it does further a theme. I’m definitely not cleaning the kitchen disposal any time soon. I don’t even know where Robocop’s Act II is, I was too busy trying to identify the differences between the theatrical version, and the X-rated one that’s currently available on Amazon. (I couldn’t tell the difference; are you still reading, or have you gone off to check if there’s a Robo-penis?)

In an effort to revisit my fondest memories from the ’80s — Dungeons and Dragons — I played a bit of the new Pathfinder: Kingmaker video game that came out this past week. It’s like D&D, without the Dungeon Master, friends or creative, communal story-telling experience.

I also blew off my physical therapy and my diet.

I was pretty depressed this weekend — not depressed, that’s not accurate — no, I was deflated; like one gets after a terrible body blow. So I retreated to the safety of familiar things: the company of a good friend, feel-good television and film, comfort food, games, a warm bed, snuggly dogs, a happier era, etc.

It’s Tuesday afternoon as I write this, and I still haven’t looked at the news. For all I know, the powers that be have moved on from making a mockery of the Supreme Court, to making Soylent Green out of kidnapped Ecuadorian refugees — or whatever the next unimaginable, horrible offense that they find to be a profitable venture.   

With the SCOTUS now poised to undo decades of progressive legislation — and quite likely, protect the president from the Mueller investigation or any other entity deemed an enemy of the administration — I don’t know what checks and balances we have left.

I am worried that in the near future, an exponentially increasing number of suffering, oppressed Americans will be forced to decide when it is, that acts of violence are a civic duty. That’s not how I want to spend my fucking golden years, and unless you are one of those gun-worshipping morons goose-stepping it to Stephen King’s fat, orange version of the Pied Piper — neither do you. It is quite possible now, that McConnell and the republican Senate, Ryan and the republican House, the President, his entire administration — all of them — all of them are going to get away with everything. If so, in the immortal words of C-3PO, “We’re doomed.”

Welcome to the end of Act II, America.

Worse still, what if this sci-fi turned horror flick has only just finished the opening crawl?

I imagine quite a different scene at the home of Brett Kavanaugh this past Saturday. Perhaps an evening alone, dressed in black, standing in front of his luxurious bathroom mirror channeling his deepest James Earl Jones rasp “No, America, I… am your Supreme Court Justice.”

Either that or he was hosting a Keggerape with his buddies Tobin, PJ, Squee, Dooku, Greedo, Palpatine and Donkey Dong Doug — and some girl unlucky enough to wander upstairs.

I really hope the Democrats have a plan — hopefully one that doesn’t involve too many of us Bothans dying. I have a bad feeling about this.

Do you think Human Greed has a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port?

P.S. If you didn’t get the reference to the Death Star in that last line, you probably missed the ten or so other Star Wars Easter Eggs throughout. Seriously, how many times can you watch Mean Girls?

[amazingstories]

Hardcover: 240 pages

Publisher: IDW Publishing; Illustrated edition (October 24, 2017)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 168405091X

ISBN-13: 978-1684050918

Product Dimensions: 10.1 x 1 x 11.3 inches

Shipping Weight: 3.6 pounds

Hardcover: $31.44

      I suspect that I am very much like many other fans of the SF genre in finding genre art to be as fascinating and worthy of attention as its literature.  Were this not so, little space and time would be given to the Art Show at conventions and our publications would lower their prices by foregoing cover illustrations (as some are wont to do owing to fiscal restrictions).

Visual appeal certainly seems to be responsible for capturing many a fan (and many a fan-turned-pro) if their statements are anything to go buy:  Asimov, Clarke, Bradbury, Moore and others have all stated that they were originally attracted to the genre by magazine covers depicting other-worldly visions – giant ants, exploding spaceships, robots and planetary vistas.

My own story is similar, being captivated by the John Berkey illustration for Heinlein’s Starman Jones (depicting the crew working their astrogator’s stations aboard a spaceship):  I’d never seen the inside of a starship before…what were they so intent on?  What do those instruments do?  What might one see through that viewer?  Where were they…and where were they going?

Over the years I have accumulated a fair collection of SF related “coffee table” books of artwork…and I’ve been mesmerized and fascinated by each and every one of them:

 And now a new one to add to my collection, the absolutely stunning THE ART OF THE PULPS An Illustrated History edited by Doug Ellis, Ed Hulse and Robert Weinberg.

I’d love to share some of the interior layouts and cover art selected for this volume, but my attempts to scan without creasing a page would not do the book justice.  I will attempt to convey with words, however inadequate that may be.

Unlike most of my art book holdings, The Art of the Pulps focuses on the entire pulp magazine field, from sports to westerns and from science fiction to true love stories, not missing detective, war, aerial adventures, horror, hero, or titillation along the way.  One glance will tell you that walking past an old-style newsstand during pulp’s heyday must have been like walking through an everyman’s art gallery.

Designed to attract, intrigue, scandalize and spur impulse buys, the covers of the pulps, regardless of genre, were eye popping, vibrant and action-filled.

Art of the Pulps begins with a comprehensive introduction by author F. Paul Wilson, who relates his own exposure to the pulps at 13 (stories from Weird Takes in a Wollheim anthology) and an encounter with one of the great collectors and re-sellers, Gerry de la Ree (a man who I purchased some of my own collection from).  I know well the feeling when Mr. Wilson states “My first view of these covers was an electrifying epiphany.  Love at first sight.  They spoke to me.”

Mr. Wilson then goes on to try and explain the allure of these sometimes lurid images:

The art you’ll see here, the cover paintings and interior illustrations of the pulp magazines, relied heavily on “inward dreamings”.  The science fiction pulps, for instance, depicted fantastic technologies, bizarre spaceships…and the like that never were, and most likely never will be. They showed us the future, not the way it might look, but the way we wished it would look – chock full of bright colors and cool gadgets.

Wish fulfillment realized on the cover of a dime magazine.

Wilson then conducts a short course, based on his years collecting the pulps, in how to go about viewing this unique art form:  there are illustrative tropes as well as literary ones and here is the list of things to keep an eye out for:

An intervening hero: a secret passage/trapdoor: a crooked politician: an ethnic mobster: yellow peril: a damsel in distress: some sort of bondage: skull/skeleton: a madman/mad scientist: your choice of blood, lucre or weapons: partial or complete nudity (shielded by strategically placed objects.

The introduction concludes with a brief survey of other things to look for among the various pulp genres, the sports, romance and other rags.

It’s a fine introduction that whets the appetite for what is to follow.

Douglas Ellis (who – full disclosure – requested my review copy from the publisher) regales us with a history of the pulps.  I’ll leave Doug’s history for the reader who picks this book up, except to quote the quote he opens his history with, as it more than amply encapsulates the entire experience:

What were the pulps? Cheaply printed, luridly illustrated, sensationally written magazines of fiction…Were they any good?  No.  They were great.  Charles Beaumont.

other than to say that he accurately relates the history of this medium, taking us back to 1896 and Munsey’s The Argosy, which was quickly followed by The Popular Magazine and The All Story Magazine, three ventures that set the stage for the all-fiction pulp magazine, that eventually gave birth to the specialist pulps, a foreshadowing of the sub-genre fiction markets we see today.

There then follow a number of chapters devoted to each of the various genres – adventure pulps, detective pulps, western pulps, the war and aerial warfare pulps, (remember, these were published when biplanes were still a common sight), the sports pulps, the romance and true love pulps, horror and weird pulps, science fiction and fantasy pulps, the hero pulps, the racy pulps, each detailing important titles and important artists. These are then followed by chapters devoted to specific artists and specific authors.

(Side note: Mike Ashley, history king of the SF magazine field, is tapped to cover the science fiction pulps and I was very pleased to read the following, where Mike notes that Frank R. Paul’s sometimes over-the-top fantastic visions of the future were harming the perception of the new genre:

…also harmed the image of science fiction, which was aggravated further when pulp publisher William Clayton launched a rival title, Astounding Stories of Super Science, from January 1930. Whereas Gernsback had hoped the stories would encourage readers to explore science and technology, Clayton wanted pure explosive adventure. What’s more, Astounding was a genuine pulp, whereas Gernsback’s magazines had been the full flat size, often called “bedsheet”.)

I don’t think anyone should be surprised by the fact that I spent much of my time paging through The Art of the Pulps on the science fiction section. But it doesn’t matter which pulp genre appeals to you personally, you will find yourself equally fascinated by all of them.

If you already have a collection of pulp art books, The Art of the Pulps will undoubtedly fill some holes with its comprehensive coverage. If you don’t own any pulp art books, The Art of the Pulps is the one to start with. Just for a moment, pretend you are 10, or 11, or 13 again, meeting legendary pulp collector Gerry de la Ree for the first time and he has just opened the door to reveal your own electrifying ephiphany.

FURTHER READING: Phil Stephenson-Payne maintains a visual inventory of the pulps at GalacticCentral. You can get some small idea of the breadth and depth of the pulp field author’s Ellis,, Hulse and Weinberg had to review for The Art of the Pulps by taking a look. You’ll want to reserve several hours.

The Art of the Pulps: Review Hardcover: 240 pages Publisher: IDW Publishing; Illustrated edition (October 24, 2017) Language: English ISBN-10: 168405091X ISBN-13:

[iwriteforthetincanman]

Undetected

TRIGGER WARNING: THERE IS MENTION OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE (no direct or detailed description), MENTION OF DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, SELF HATRED.

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Requested by: @robin-the-enby​

Abe admired you for many different reasons. One of them being that you were a talented witch. Another being that you didn’t fall into any particular category of witch, you could do all kinds of magic and more if you wanted. 

But lately...you seemed a bit off. You’d lost that spark in your eye, you took less care of yourself, you threw yourself into your work effectively cutting yourself off from the rest of the team and...more sadly, you barely paid any attention to your boyfriend anymore.

Being the only significant other Abe had ever had, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Sure, he was well read in the romantic era of writing but that didn’t mean they had all the answers. He couldn’t just ask around, especially since the only ‘healthy’ relationship he could think of was HB and Liz. 

No, asking Red for advice about relationships, especially in this context, might be a bit too embarrassing for the poor fish man. He had tried talking to you directly, that’s what Liz had told him to do. But you were always busy, dashing about with ingredients or some sort of sacrifice to the spirits on your lips.

Gods above...when was the last time Abe even got to kiss you? 

Maybe work was getting to you...maybe he wasn’t the one at fault here. Perhaps...you were thinking about ending things? All the signs pointed to a breakup...oh no, Abe couldn’t handle that. Not only did you live in the same place but it would be awkward and just...heartbreaking. 

Ever since you started going out with him, you’d both gotten into a rhythm of what a real relationship was like. You’d both never been in one before so of course HB warned his blue friend that he had to be careful, calling it ‘puppy love’. Abraham felt like it was more than that. If the relationship could be properly nurturing and taken care of then maybe...just maybe he could see spending the rest of his life with you. 

Or at least the rest of your life…

That got him thinking. He had been busy overthinking all the signs and fretting over your relationship he hadn’t realised they were also a sign for something else...a cry for help. Standing up suddenly, Abe raced out of the library. He needed to see you immediately. He needed to take care of you, whether you liked it or not. 

He forgot the most important part of your relationship.

You look out for each other no matter what’s going on. 

Ever since he met you, he had felt a connection, some sort of force driving him to impress you and become his friend. A few years went by...and that relationship blossomed into something more. Something infinitely more beautiful than Abe could ever describe. 

Austen, Brontë, Hawthorne…

Shakespeare. 

All these romantic tragedies came crashing down in Abe’s imagination of your future together as he slammed his finned fists into your door. 

No response. 

“Y/N! Please love, I really need to talk to you, it's urgent!” 

Still no response. 

He contemplated knocking the damn thing down...but what if he was overthinking and you were okay? That would give you a reason to break up with him, coming up with an outrageous excuse for infringing your privacy…

But was he going to risk it all just because he’s worried about you? Because he, someone who has walked the earth longer than the average man, someone who has been considered to be the missing link, someone who had fallen deeply in…

“Y/N...please open the door, I’m worried about you and I was losing my mind over it. If I’m reading too much into this then I’m sorry, but I’m not leaving here until I at least get to see your beautiful face, your smile that puts the stars to shame...I’m only worried because I care for you and I-I’ve fallen deeply and passionately in love with you Y/N Y/L/N.” 

Quiet filled the air...embarrassment began to prickle underneath Abe’s scales as he realised he’d just confessed how he truly felt to a door of all things... 

Then the door started to creak. 

Your room was in total darkness, Abe could see that much, but what really scared him was how red your eyes were, how sullen and frail you had become...you had lost some weight he noted. He hadn’t held you in so long he couldn’t begin to tell when you started to wear more baggy clothing and refused physical contact so subtly. 

These were all warning signs and Abe had completely bypassed them.

The thing that scared him the most was the small blade you held in your hand. Sure, the BPRD allowed weapons to its agents. But this one hadn’t been issued by the BPRD…

“Y/N? My love...please put the knife down.” If Abe had tear ducts...he knew he would be crying by now. The love of his life had just been about to...gods, he couldn’t begin to imagine what would’ve happened if he had been just a moment too late. 

“Oh...Blue.” Everyone called him blue all the time. But the way you said it just then...no happiness or joy in your tone. It broke him. 

Throwing his arms around you, he didn’t care about the blade as it dropped carelessly to the floor, the further away you were from that thing the better. 

“My stardust, why didn’t you say anything? I...I would’ve helped you in any way that I could’ve...you know that right?” Abe’s soft tone came across as caring, helpful, loving. 

But the way the monsters in your head twisted and barbed the meanings of his words forced you to think that he was blaming you for what just occurred. 

“I...I didn’t think anyone wanted to help me...these voices in my head kept screaming all these horrible things. It hurt Abe. It hurt so bad. I didn’t even notice when I stopped feeling altogether.” You got the words out, but the way Abe heard them felt like pin pricks. How long had this been going on for? How long had you been suffering in silence while he just stood there? Focusing on missions and dates and what he was going to eat that night?

How dare he not realise you hadn’t been eating at all. 

“Y/N, listen to me, I’m only being strict with you now because I care and if you heard a single word I said before it’s because I love you. But you need help. If not from me then...a professional...don’t you want to feel better?” Abe attempted to bargain. 

“I...did for a while. Then it felt like things were getting worse no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many medications I started taking, or counselors and psychiatrists I saw. I felt like this dark place was just...growing inside of me. Trying to take everything I cared about away...away from me.” Your tone was watery, even though Abe was a literal fish out of water, he wanted to find some sort of way to stop you from sounding like that. 

He needed to see you smile again. No matter how long it took. 

“I wanted to end it all…”

These words broke him down even further. 

“Y/N...if you did that I don’t even know how I would recover. You, you’re so special and I love everything about you. Liz, Red...Professor Broom. They all love you...if Broom were here now, what do you think he would say?” Just the mention of the loving old professor caused a familiar, faded kind of pain to bloom in Abraham’s chest. 

“...He wouldn’t be happy with me that’s for sure.” The sulk on your face convinced Abe he wasn’t convincing you. 

“...Please Y/N. I know you’ve been trying for a long time now, but could you please just try one more time? If not for anything or anyone else then...for me?”

As you looked up into your loving, doting, blue, scaly, handsome boyfriend. All the memories of you two came rushing back. It was a very small dose of serotonin, but it pulled you towards the light all the same. Perhaps it was only a subtle grab of the hand, guiding you to a different kind of door. 

But you knew exactly who was guiding you back into the world.

“...For you? Of course Abe.”

[snarkyoracle]

From Thursday, June 22nd to Tuesday, June 27th, Valiant is joining the ALA 2017 Annual Conference & Exhibition. You can find them at booth #1118 at Chicago’s McCormick Place. 

Join Valiant inside   for a fun-filled, universe-spanning introduction to your new favorite superheroes and comic book epics with a selection of trade paperbacks for critically acclaimed and award-winning titles including BLOODSHOT REBORN, BRITANNIA: WE WHO ARE ABOUT TO DIE, FAITH, HARBINGER RENEGADE, NINJAK, QUANTUM & WOODY, RAPTURE, SAVAGE and many more!

Then: Travel to the farthest edges of the galaxy with Valiant’s record breaking, cosmos-crushing debut of the year in X-O MANOWAR (2017) VOL.1: SOLDIER TPB – the FIRST VOLUME of the EPIC NEW ONGOING SERIES from New York Times best-selling writer Matt Kindt (DIVINITY, NINJAK, Mind MGMT) and a rotating cast of powerhouse artists – including Tomas Giorello (4001 A.D.: WAR MOTHER, BLOODSHOT REBORN), Doug Braithwaite (ARMOR HUNTERS, BLOODSHOT U.S.A.), Clayton Crain (RAI, Carnage), Ryan Bodenheim (The Dying & The Dead), and Mico Suayan (BLOODSHOT REBORN ) – that will push Aric of Dacia beyond the farthest limits of our galaxy…and into the brutal opening salvo of the ultimate X-O Manowar tale ever told!

Born under the oppressive thumb of the Roman Empire, Aric of Dacia learned warfare at an early age. It was amid such violence that he was abducted by an alien race. Forced into slavery, he survived where others perished. His escape would come from bonding with a weapon of immeasurable power: the X-O Manowar armor. With it, he returned to Earth…only to find himself stranded in the modern day.

But that was a lifetime ago.

Now, far from home on a strange and primitive new world, Aric has begun a new life. Liberated from his past, he tends to his crops. Free from war. Free from violence. Free from the armor.

But the machinery of death marches his way once again. Conscripted into an alien army and thrown into an unforgiving conflict, the fury inside him finds voice as he is forced to embrace the armor once more. With it, he will decimate armies, topple empires and incite interplanetary warfare as he rises from SOLDIER to GENERAL to EMPEROR to VISIGOTH. They wanted a weapon. He will give them war!

Critics and fans everywhere are hailing Valiant’s star-smashing debut as the runaway hit of the year! Now, at ALA 2017 Annual Conference & Exhibition, experience the interstellar epic for yourself…and see why X-O MANOWAR (2017) VOL. 1: SOLDIER TPB is the comic to beat in 2017!

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“✮✮✮✮✮… One stunning page after another… Valiant has found a new epic in the making.” – Comic Crusaders

“Brutal, bloody and brilliant… Kindt is at the top of his game here, and Giorello’s art is absolutely gorgeous…” – Bleeding Cool

“✮✮✮✮✮… Easily accessible for anyone curious on trying out Valiant’s flagship book… Kindt and Giorello have created one of the best debut issues in possibly the last decade.” – Pastrami Nation

“A stunning introduction… Gorgeous…” – The A.V. Club

“✮✮✮✮✮… A real powerful comic…[with] an epic, cinematic approach to storytelling…” – Critical Blast

“Epic sci-fi adventure… This book is a showcase for everything Valiant does better than any other publisher…” – Nerdist

“✮✮✮✮✮… Stunning and beautiful… [A] perfect place to start…” – Outright Geekery

“Valiant has never offered an easier or more attractive jumping-on point… The elegant script and gorgeous visuals combine to form a very inviting and accessible new series.” – IGN

“✮✮✮✮✮… Refreshing and amazing… This book is gorgeous from beginning to end.” – Comic Bastards

“Brutal… A great first issue, especially for a reader new to the Valiant world…” – Geek.com

“✮✮✮✮✮… Compelling and mysterious… [X-O MANOWAR] is going to be a tough act to follow…” – Comicsverse

“Grimly beautiful… A perfectly bone-crunching place to start.” – Newsarama

“✮✮✮✮✮… One of Valiant’s breakaway hits of the year.” – All-Comic

We’ll see you in Chicago! And don’t miss a second of the action as Valiant’s cross-country convention road show marches on through New York, San Francisco, Denver, and several more all summer long!

June 16th Vans Warped Tour® ’17 presented by Journeys® CenturyLink Field North Lot Seattle, WA

June 22nd – June 27th ALA 2017 Annual Conference and Exhibition McCormick Place Chicago, IL

June 24th –  June 25th ID10T Music Festival and Comic Conival Shoreline Amphitheater San Francisco, CA

June 30th –  July 2nd Denver Comic Con Colorado Convention Center Denver, CO

July 8th Vans Warped Tour® ’17 presented by Journeys® Northwell Health Jones Beach Theater Wantagh, NY

July 9th Vans Warped Tour® ’17 presented by Journeys® Xfinity Theatre Hartford, CT

August 5th Vans Warped Tour® ’17 presented by Journeys® Qualcomm Stadium at Jack Murphy Field San Diego, CA

August 6th Vans Warped Tour® ’17 presented by Journeys® Fairplex Pomona Pomona, CA

Stay tuned for more dates to be announced all year long!

For more information, visit Valiant on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and ValiantEntertainment.com.

For Valiant merchandise and more, visit ValiantStore.com

Valiant Headed to ALA 2017 Annual Conference & Exhibition From Thursday, June 22nd to Tuesday, June 27th, Valiant is joining the ALA 2017 Annual Conference & Exhibition. 

[graphicpolicy]

As the all-new X-O Manowar #1 prepares to begin its war-ravaged journey into deep space on March 22nd, Valiant has revealed that one of the year’s most anticipated comics debuts will now ship in the Valiant Premium format — a brand-new form of deluxe packaging created specifically for Aric of Dacia’s battle-worn conquest of a savage alien world!

Beginning with the release of X-O Manowar #1 – the first issue to the epic ongoing series from writer Matt Kindt and a rotating cast of all-star interior artists, including Tomas Giorello, Doug Braithwaite, Clayton Crain, Ryan Bodenheim, and Mico Suayan – fans and readers everywhere can look forward to the Valiant Premium format appearing on each issue of X-O Manowar in 2017 and beyond. Then, don’t miss Aric of Dacia’s one-man domination of a battle-scarred alien world… one that will force him onto the front lines of an eons-old extraterrestrial battlefield, and will send him into the deepest reaches of space!

Features for the all-new X-O Manowar #1, the first release to showcase the Valiant Premium format, will include:

Deluxe matte finish cover stock covers.

Upgraded, heavyweight interior pages.

An oversized, 34-page first chapter.

Minimal advertisements for an uninterrupted storytelling experience!

In contrast to Valiant Prestige — an ads-free format designated for the publisher’s most important standalone event and limited series — Valiant Premium will only be applied to X-O Manowar. However, the Valiant Prestige format will continue to be utilized as needed.

Born under the oppressive thumb of the Roman Empire, Aric of Dacia learned warfare at an early age. It was amid such violence that he was abducted by an alien race. Forced into slavery, he survived where others perished. His escape would come from bonding with a weapon of immeasurable power: the X-O Manowar armor. With it, he returned to Earth…only to find himself stranded in the modern day.

But that was a lifetime ago.

Now, far from home on a strange and primitive new world, Aric has begun a new life. Liberated from his past, he tends to his crops. Free from war. Free from violence. Free from the armor.

A brutal, deep-space saga awaits Valiant’s premiere hero here, as he enters a herculean voyage through the cosmos unlike anything fans have seen before! Alien planets, all-new characters, and out-of-this-world adversaries will stand revealed as Aric of Dacia rises from SOLDIER to GENERAL to EMPEROR to VISIGOTH in a star shattering adventure!

Featuring covers by Lewis LaRosa , Kenneth Rocafort, Mico Suayan, J.G. Jones, and Monica Palosz!

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Valiant Unveils New Valiant Premium Format for X-O Manowar #1 – Debuting on March 22nd! #comics As the all-new X-O Manowar #1 prepares to begin its war-ravaged journey into deep space on…