#double dip powder

[reysdriver]

Rubber Duck | E.M.

You and Eddie give your baby girl a bath — dad!eddie x mom!reader fluff

Warnings: none, it's literally just pure fluff

words: 0.6k

“The water isn’t too hot, right?” You were always so worried about the smallest of things like this. Is the bed too soft? Has she burped enough? Did I put enough baby powder in her diaper? 

“You put a drop on your forehead right?” Eddie asked, bouncing your baby softly. 

“Yes, of course.”

“And was it too hot?”

“No.”

“So then it’s not too hot.” Eddie reassured you. He was more level-headed than you with these things, at least on the outside. The balance worked well for taking care of her. 

He sat her down on the counter next to the baby bath and unwrapped her towel. He leaned down and gave her stomach rolls a raspberry, which elicited a giggle from both of them. 

“Are you ready for bath time, little lady?” Eddie asked her, even though she couldn’t respond. He lowered her down into the water, and she only kicked her little legs and splashed the water at you once. That may be a new record. 

You let her play around, smacking the water and popping bubbles from the cap of the soap bottle before you started to clean her. 

You and Eddie both knew that the shampoo was her least favourite part, so you had been developing strategies to keep her happy while you washed her hair. 

You scooped up a cup of bath water while Eddie showed your daughter her favourite bath toy, a little yellow rubber duck. Her cute smile doubled in size just at the sight of the toy, and the adorable image almost distracted you from your task. 

But you managed to avoid it and continue washing her. You held a hand tight against her forehead like a visor to shield her eyes from any water that wants to come running down, then lightly poured some water on the top of her head. 

She scrunched her face for a second or two, but when Eddie gave the duck toy a funny voice, she forgot all about the water. 

You watched her try to grab for the duck as you lathered up some shampoo in your hands. “Okay, I’m gonna try and get this part done quickly, baby.” You told your daughter apologetically.

You put the foamy shampoo on the top of her head and began massaging lightly. For once, she didn’t put up a fight. To your relief, she just kept smiling and laughing at the rubber toy. 

“You’re not even fazed with Mommy washing your hair, are you?” Eddie asked your little girl happily. “You just love your duckie so much!” 

When it was time to rinse the suds off, Eddie noticed and went back to quacking and speaking in his silly voice. You dipped the cup in the bath water again and brought your hands back to her forehead. Again, she didn’t even seem to care about what you were doing as long as the duck was in front of her. 

A sigh of relief fell from your lips once her head was clean, and you leaned down to press a kiss on her chubby cheek. 

“So, I think the duck is going to be a part of her bath time routine now.” You said to Eddie. 

Eddie returned to his normal voice. “I’ll give her the duck whenever she wants if he makes her happy like this.” 

He placed the duck in the tiny tub and it was immediately scooped up by a pair of even tinier hands. Then Eddie started playing with your daughter’s wet hair, swirling it and bringing it to the middle. 

“Plus, if she’s not crying after washing her hair, I can style her however I want and not feel bad for her.” He added, pointing to an adorable mohawk atop the giggling baby’s head.  

[bryscorner]

౨ৎ☕︎ sweets & drinks bar - jace and apple cider donuts <3 xoxo

Beary this is soo cute <3 I hope this suffices babes !

Join FallFest !

– baking with Jace wasn’t a hard task if we’re being honest here

– of course, being well prepared you both already had the necessary ingredients needed to make apple cider donuts !

– to make the atmosphere very cozy and fun, Jace puts on some seasonal fall music (jazz if he’s feeling it) to have as a background noise on the tv in the living room

– you both had an easy pace going, making sure to split each direction and task evenly amongst the both of you

– being the little sneaky sneak this little mischievous boy is, you didn’t miss the way he was coyly taking some chunks of apples and dipping them in the sugar cinnamon powder that was used to coat the outside of the donut

– that little double dipper! you catch him mid-act as he was about to dive into another bite, staring daggers at him while rolling your eyes

– he finishes the bite in his mouth and was trying to play it off as though he wasn’t found guilty of a crime

– he sneakily takes a chunk of the apple and dips it back into the sugary concoction, before you can protest, he puts the apple chunk in your mouth to taste

– the donuts were almost done baking, not missing the way the whole house smelled like fall with the hints of cinnamon, vanilla, pumpkin spice candle lit in the living room…

– you were at the stovetop now, making sure the apple cider caramel sauce doesn’t burn as you kept a slow but brisk turning motion with the whisk

– the music changed to Betty Johnson, her vocals pouring into the comforting air as she sings her rendition of ‘It’s Been A Long, Long Time’ at a softly and calming volume

– you feel a warmth raidiating from your back, before feeling two strong arms snake around your waist from behind, before Jace snuggles his head into your shoulder, swaying you two a bit to the song

– chuckling to yourself, you can feel and hear Jace’s voice humming softly into your ears, as if he’s the only one wanting to serenade you in a quite atmosphere

– he shuts off the stove, making sure the fire is completely off, and moving the pot to a safe spot

– feeling his slightly bigger hands take your waist and slowly spin you around to face him, noting his devilishly handsome face and smile

– taking you hands in his, he positions your hands around his neck, before his hands bring you so close that it’s like you’re almost hugging

– he continues to hum softly, trying not to ruin the song, and sways to a more rhythmic two-step sway

– there’s no way he was real. adorning down at you, softly humming to the song, and just absolutely loving and basking in your presence

– you two sway slow dance for awhile, no words needing to be exchanged, before remembering that the donuts needed to be taken out of the oven before it burns

– after coating the donuts and making it cool off, you make your way to the living room

– where there were already apple cider in two cups, some other snacks on the coffee table, and some autumn throw blankets to set the mood of fall

– Jace arrives with the donuts on the plate, setting it down before hastily diving onto the couch into you arms,

– feeling the pool of warmth radiating from you, not planning on leaving your side for the rest of the night whilst you find a movie to watch to cuddle to and eat your delicious apple cider donuts <3

[cookie-crumblr]

Desperate Cookies<3

a Dark Desperate housewives/weeds style F!Reader X multiple Yan OC’s (M!doctor/Vet Ivar, F!bully Serana, M!Professor Reichsgraf, +more)

Episode 1~

Episode 2 here>>

MINORS DNI!

CW: Fem! Reader, reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, reader has a bad relationship with food and her body(i usually add a lil comment to hopefully make it a little easier to read), threats with gun violence, guns, HARD DRUG USEAGE by reader and pm everyone else tbh, cervix fucking(just about), names against reader (dumb whore, little cocksleeve, ) p in v, failing marriage(for now 😚✨), cheating on both sides mentioned,

Disclaimer: I fully expect you to not like reader/not relate to reader, this is purely for entertainment and i implore you to think of it more like you’re an actor in a crazy DARK soap opera! :3 or this is a chance to get all the chaos out of your system, like me!

(DISCLAIMER: don’t do drugs plz, coke literally only lasts like 15 minutes, and it’s so dangerous. smoke pot instead if you need something and are able to responsibly an all that🥰✨! this is just how this reader feels)

Song rec: Do I make you Nervous? by Lilyisthatyou

“What!? What do you mean ‘lost’” You scrunch your two fingers in the air to quote the forbidden word in the face of your newest enemy.

“I donno what to tell ya, we just lost it.”

“How do you lose an entire shipping container!?” you rub your temple.

You could just about rip your hair out.

and unbeknownst to you, your face says it all.

Reaching under the diner’s table, you push the barrel of your gun to the thick meat of his left thigh.

“I’m s-sorry ma’am, I dunno what happened, I swear!” he cowers slightly with his hands up.

“Shut up.” When you speak, he instantly zips his lips.

The diner is decorated with paper bat and pumpkin bunting and pumpkin cutouts cover the windows.

A waitress comes to your table and puts a couple things down. She’s cute, you’ll give her a decent tip. two, maybe three hundred? Your eyes follow her rump in that frilly diner dress, the bow from the apron over her front makes her waist look so perfect too. you shake your head, back to the present.

You have a milkshake in front of you, vanilla, with whip cream, a cherry, and a red and white spiral striped straw.

Your delivery boy has a plate of various american breakfast items.

Neither of you touch the food. You’re watching your carbs(stupid disgusting fucking societal standards) and he’s clearly too scared.

You pull the gun away.

“Find it.”

At home~

The trees surrounding your estate are a multitude of golds, and bright orange.

Your “husband” isn’t here, thank the gods, cause fuck, do you never want to see him.

Ever.

Especially now that you’ll have to tell him a shipment is missing somehow. You put your gun in the safe in his office. The dark wood panel closes over the safe seamlessly with a turn of a busts head back into position.

Neither of you hide anything from eachother, affairs and all laid out bare, right on the table. too bad it’s only because neither of you care about the other in the slightest.

You grunt, and your head falls to the side, landing your eyes right on your antique candy dish…

You sigh, and stand to approach it.

Taking a deep breath you take the jagged pattered crystal glass lid and set it to the side. dipping your pinky into the white powder, you’re reminded that:

Every bump you take, you say you’ll quit.

You touch your little finger to your nostril and inhale sharply.

The drip down your throat almost makes you gag, you’ve still never gotten used to it.

But your good at hiding the bad sides of things.

It hits instantly, You feel as though you can do anything, and succeed. This time you inhale freely, without any weight on your shoulders, and exhale blissfully.

Getting the house ready to receive guests is more than a breeze, sure you could do everything without it, but it’s so much more fun while on it.

*Ding Dong*

Double dipping your pinky into that candy dish, and putting the lid back on, you’re now ready to head to that looming front door and open those flood gates.

They rush in in a massive herd, handing off their coats to your doorman, and rushing to complement you on either your attire or your home.

Yes yes, you’re both lovely, don’t let it all go to your head yet reader!

Now back to business.

“Is everyone comfortable? good, good. Now,” you stand in the back of the living room, opposite the closed french doors. “How are we feeling about the last chapters of the book?” You ask.

Yes.

You host your neighborhood book club.

Of course you are an active member of society, why couldn’t you be?

Just because you have a little cocaine empire on the side?

You still have to be a good trophy wife and keep up appearances.

~

A rough hand squeezes your neck, as the man attached pounds his dick deep into you, practically piercing into your womb.

“Yes! Yes! Ye—” Your voice squeaks as he cuts it off.

“Bad girls don’t get to talk,” He slaps your ass, eliciting another squeak from your throat.

The red hot sting comes down onto your ass again and you bite your lip. Your hips are digging into the desk, it hurts so much it’s raw, but holy fuck is his dick amazing.

“P-Professor!” You manage to breathe out.

“How did they lose a SHIPPING CONTAINER! Y/N! You dumb fucking whore. They Stole it!” he seethes as he yells at you through clenched teeth, his hips slapping into your ass.

He lets go of your neck to tangle his hand into your hair and pull you back against his body, and slaps your tit, as he bites your neck.

He’s left innumerable marks across your body tonight.

Your stupid husband.

You were arranged to marry this lazy, asshole, cougar chaser of a man by your parents. It’s not like you love eachother…

But his dick game is truly top tier.

“Ahhh~!” you whine out already too dumb on his cock to speak anymore.

“That’s it, take it, like a good little cocksleeve.” His long, hard dick presses deep inside you, the way he moves his hips while it’s still inside making sure to rub every spot you like makes you melt and shudder against him.

The sweet cashmere scent of him surrounds you, as it rolls off his glistening body in waves.

His thrusts become more unstable, and he bites down harder into your shoulder. It feels as though he wants to tear you open!

His hand comes down to your burning sex, to rapidly massage you.

You cry out, “Ah! mm-mm haaah!”your body twitches as he fucks you through your orgasm. Cum mixes with cum, forming a thick ring around his cock base.

He throws your spent body down onto the bed and then leaves you in the master by yourself to catch your breath.

You push your shaking self off of the mattress, wrapping the silk duvet around your sticky body before you go.

Upon inspection in the mirror, your hair is stuck to your forehead. Uhg.

Dropping the duvet, and without evading the chill of the air, you hop into the shower with Felix.

You don’t notice his eyes roaming your body, you’re too busy trying to stay warm in the water.

He hands you your shampoo with a sly smile.

“What?” Your voice is way more annoyed than you meant it.

“Nothing,” He shrugs and nonchalantly looks up at the ceiling as if it were anything interesting.

[tastesoftamriel]

Three-Scuttle Bread Boat

There's nothing quite as indulgent as the scuttle bread boat, also known by the Telvanni as khachapuri. The traditional use of three types of scuttle, said to represent the Tribunal, is almost obscene for the average working Dunmer, making khachapuri a treat rather than an everyday meal. Topped with a cliff racer or kwama egg, this mouthwatering bread boat is best served immediately! Serves four.

You will need:

Bread:

1 tsp dry yeast

270g plain flour

55ml water

200ml milk

1 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing

1 tbsp sugar

1 tsp salt

Filling:

2 eggs (one whisked, for brushing)

80g mature cheddar, grated

80g fresh mozzarella, chopped

80g feta, crumbled

1 tbsp butter

Crushed dried chilis or chili powder to serve, optional (and non-traditional)

Method:

Combine the yeast, sugar, salt, and flour. In a pan, bring the milk and water to a gentle simmer (you should be able to touch the water without burning yourself, about 25C/77F) and pour into the dry ingredients. Knead until smooth and stretchy, at least 15 minutes.

Add the olive oil to your dough, and knead for another 3-5 minutes so it sinks in. Pop the dough into a well-oiled bowl, cover with a cloth, and leave to rise in a warm spot (out of direct sunlight) for an hour.

When the dough is about double in size, punch it down, then leave it to rise again for another 30 mins. When ready, shape the dough into a large oval, then roll flat until about 1/2cm thick.

For the filling, simply combine the cheeses and sprinkle into the boat. Sprinkle 1/3 of the cheese in a thick, neat line on the left side of the dough, and another 1/3 on the right. Take the edge of the dough and roll it over the cheese, then roll the outside diameter inwards gently a couple of times to form a raised lip. Sprinkle the rest of the filling in the middle.

This will therefore be a stuffed crust to start, as well as a method of keeping the outer edges raised! Finally, pinch or twist the ends together to a sharp point. This will help to contain the filling when it melts. Whisk one egg and brush over the entire bread, filling and all, until glossy.

Bring your oven to 230C/450F and bake on the middle shelf for 15 minutes, until the bread is firm and the cheese is melted. Remove from the oven, and make a deep well in the middle of the cheese by pressing down with a tablespoon. Scatter butter over the cheese. Crack the last egg into the well and return to the oven for 3-5 minutes, until the egg white is slightly cooked but still runny.

To serve, vigorously whisk together the cheese and egg with a fork until entirely combined (the egg will continue to cook in the hot cheese). Simply tear the bread apart with your hands to eat and dip. Sprinkle with dried chilis or chili powder if desired.

This is what your khachapuri should look like after scrambling the filling!

[starfeedings]

The County Fair 

The day has finally arrived!! We were going to attend the County Fair!  You were so excited and couldn’t wait to get dressed after your giant breakfast. You started to get dressed and the first pair of jeans didn't fit.  The struggle got you winded and for a moment you really panicked because you thought you had gained again.  You then realized that they were the last pair you outgrew  .... Phew!!! You checked again and found a brand new pair of pants and a cute white top, and then came in the kitchen to help me pack some food for the trip.  It was going to be a 30 min drive, maybe 45 with traffic.  We packed some muffins, chips and cookies just in case.

We got in the SUV and headed down the road.  I loved watching your belly shake and wobble when we hit bumps and was so glad you had room to sit comfortably.  We sold our previous car about 6 months ago when you no longer fit.  With you gaining so fast, this one should work for a while.  About 10 min down the road you reached for the muffins and cookies and finished them all in a hurry.

Arriving at the fair, I dropped you off by the front entrance and then went to park.  A good thing since it took me about 15 min to walk from the truck back to the entrance.  You would need to save your steps as the fair grounds were big and your waddle was not geared for distances (or speed).  You were sitting on a bench when I returned eating some funnel cake with powdered sugar that was sold just outside the gate.  You were smiling, with some sugar around your lips ... so cute!

After buying tickets we walked in and started towards the main food area.  I had to walk very slow so that you could keep up.  You were doing pretty well.  After about 2 minutes you asked to stop to look at a map.  You were starting to sweat a little and wanted to catch your breath.  I told you I knew where we were going but you had me double check to make sure we went the shortest route.  After assuring you, we continued.  We stopping again a few minutes later so you could try some bacon dipped in chocolate. So yummy, but a little messy.  We sat down on a bench so you could eat it without it getting all over your white shirt.  You did pretty well, spilling only tiny bit of chocolate by your collar.

We got up again and continued toward the food.  It was so fun seeing all the people, hearing music, sounds from games and the popcorn machines.  There was also an unmistakable  aroma from all the foods, animals, hay and rides.  It was a lot to take in.  At first I really commended your willpower as we made it past the popcorn.  I'm guessing you didn't see it?

Arriving at the main food pavilion, we got in line for some of the celebrity chef dishes.  The lines were long, so I told you to find a seat and that I'd bring back the food.  "Make sure you get something good" you said as you waddled towards the picnic tables.  I watched you from a far navigating the picnic table and I was amazed how you figured it out.  My guess is that getting out will be a lot harder.

As I waited in line, I couldn't help but notice how many other fat girls and guys there were.  It seems like a perfect gathering place.  One woman was holding about 4 plates and looked to be about your size.  Another girl was much bigger,  and was riding a scooter.  Not a bad idea with all the walking needed.  Her belly was pressing into the steering wheel and her hips and side belly far surpassed the width of the scooter.  It was hot!

The first stand I got to had duck bacon wontons. The wontons were stuffed with duck bacon, grilled sweet corn, and cream cheese, and served with a creamy dipping sauce.  I knew you would love it, so I picked up 3 servings.

At the next stand I picked up bacon-wrapped pork belly and mashed potato croquettes served on a skewer, topped with either home-style gravy, Korean bulgogi barbecue sauce, or sweet chili sauce.  I got all 3 sauces in large cups so you could experiment.  I picked up 3 of these also and headed over to you.

You were so excited to try the food!  You were also a little upset I didn't get dessert.  I mentioned that I thought we could get some later, but seeing how upset you were I headed back and picked up some Bowl o' Dough. Basically cookie dough in 3 flavors -- brownie batter swirl, European cookie butter, lemon ricotta cheesecake with blueberries.  I got 3 of each.

You had already finished the wontons when I got back and were so excited about the cookie dough.  I wasn't quite hungry yet, but had fun watching you stuff yourself.  The pork belly was finished next and then you dove into the cookie dough.  About 15 minutes later you were done.  "Stuffed?" I asked.  "far from it." you said  as you tried to heave yourself up from the table.  Uh oh.  You your belly was stuck and wouldn't let your leg raise up enough to get out.  I had suspected this wouldn't be easy.  You tried again, leaning to side.  Better, but it was so hard tho raise your leg!  I let you regroup and then helped you by pulling your leg out and to the side.  It worked and you got up sweating and winded.  "Ugh. that was so tight!" you said.  Lets go see the animals

It was clear that you were  more full than you led onto, as your waddle was much slower and you were breathing heavier.  I hated to see you uncomfortable and suggested we sit for a break.  You happily obliged.  "Wow, it's really hot here" you said panting.  I agreed, but was  honestly glad I was wearing a long sleeve shirt.   65 degrees is not hot to me.

After you caught your breath, we made our way towards the animals.  On the way, I caught a stand in the distance and knew we had to stop. Fried Butter Balls.  I chuckled.  I had to see you eat those fat bombs.  You couldn't believe they had them and were so excited to give them a try.  I got you 3 servings and we sat down.  "OMG these are good!!!" you said in between bites.  "Get me more".  I did, 5 more.  You were eating like the pigs we were about to see.

After eating those you felt full.  Lets just sit hear and listen to the music.  The arena was close by and a band was playing.  I said we could go in, but knowing the size of arena seats, agreed we should just chill and relax.  There were picnic tables closer, but after the earlier fiasco the bench was a much safer bet.  I rubbed your distended belly and we leaned into each other.  So comfy.

About an hour or so later, we passed the heavy machinery section.  You joked about needing the forklift to carry you around. haha.  Getting tired from all the waddling today you were not happy.  You saw another fat girl waddling that looked to be in a similar place.  Who knew that you needed so much athleticism to attend the fair?  We passed a log flume ride, which looked fun, however it would require way too much energy.  It was also unclear if you would fit in the seat?

We arrived at another food court and you declared it time to feed.  You sat down on a bench and I picked up a bunch of treats.  Cheeseburgers with Fried Ice Cream, Deep-Fried Mashed Potatoes on a Stick, Krispy Kreme Hamburgers, Foot-long hot-dogs, Fried Oreos and Fried Twinkies.

You were pleased for sure with my choices and made your way through them without breaking stride.  You especially loved the deep fried potatoes and Krispy Kreme Hamburgers.  I went back and got you 3 more of each.

You were feeling very stuffed now and really just wanted to go home.  I said that we needed to see the animals.  You agreed and began the short slog waddle to the barn area.  I noticed you now had ketchup, mustard and sauce on your shirt now in addition to the earlier spilled chocolate.

We finally got to the animals and grabbed a seat fully winded.  You saw that there was Fried cheesecake and despite being stuffed just had had to try some.  You said to just get one.  I brought it and after the first bite you held up 2 fingers.  "2 more". wow.  this was sooo good.

I noticed your shirt was a lot tighter.  Your belly was so distended from all the calories during your multiple feedings.  You honestly looked like the pig who won the blue ribbon.  Both of you were super fat and glowing!

After seeing the animals and eating the fried cheesecake, we walked very very slowly over to the gondola. / aerial lift ride that carried fairgoers across the grounds. You were soooo relieved that you wouldn't have to walk back!!!  I was a little concerned about the weight limit in the car.  Anyway, it dropped us right by the front gate.  We got out, or should I say struggled out as the door was a bit of a squeeze for you.  

I left you at the gate and went to go pick up the truck.  I was hungry and grabbed some peanuts.  When I returned you had a bag.  "What's in the bag?" I asked.  "Oh, just some food for home" you said.  You had picked up deep-fried avocado, cream puffs, sweet corn ice cream and some Fried macaroni and cheese.  "Awesome" I said, knowing that you would likely polish them off tonight.

"What a fun day" I said.  "Yes, lets come back tomorrow" you replied before falling asleep on the short ride home.

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Touch: Winter (Benedict Bridgerton x Reader)

Benedict Bridgerton x fem!Reader Rated: G, fluff and romance Word count: 1.5k Masterpost Next part Summary: A snowy visit at Aubrey Hall with your friend Eloise and her family.

You are bundled into your carriage, watching the snow-covered fields roll by on your way to Aubrey Hall. Your friend Eloise Bridgerton invited you to visit after the Christmas holiday, and you eagerly accepted. You have been bored out of your skull, trapped in your own country estate for the cold season with just your parents, and Eloise is one of the most interesting young ladies you know. Though some might think it an odd friendship because she is a few years your junior, she is the only lady you have found within the ranks of the ton with whom you can have a conversation that ventures beyond hair styling and gossip. You both love to talk about books and art and politics, to dream of travels you’ll never actually go on, and to just plain have fun. Your mother says your inclinations toward such things are the reason you aren’t married after three seasons.

Aubrey Hall rises into view, looking like an ice palace against the white grounds. You already feel your spirits lifting, even before you and your maid exit the carriage and are greeted by the retinue of Bridgertons. The day passes in a whirlwind as Eloise and her three younger siblings drag you outdoors to march patterns through the snow and pelt each other with snowballs. Eloise is a crack shot and Hyacinth resorts to shoving a handful of frozen powder down the back of her elder sister’s coat for revenge. Though you are having fun, you do wonder if you are perhaps too old for such activities, when you suddenly turn and see your numbers on the field have doubled. Eloise’s three older brothers, all dark-haired and ravishing, have joined in the fray, shooting snowballs at the younger children with deadly speed and accuracy. Beside them, the Duke and Duchess of Hastings, another Bridgerton sibling and in-law, take aim at the eldest brother, the Viscount. Everyone is running and dodging, shouting taunts and encouragements, and crowing with joy.

That evening, when you have all changed out of your freezing, sopping clothes and gathered around the dinner table, the conversation is lively. You still can’t fathom how a family can all be so close with one another - nor how they can all be so attractive. You try to maintain your manners, but you can’t help your eyes wandering from brother to brother. Anthony, Benedict, Colin. All so similar looking, and yet so different in personality. Chestnut hair, piercing eyes, wide smiles. A voice in your head reminds you that they are all currently unattached, but you shake the thought away. You have no interest in searching for a husband right now, especially not amongst your friend’s brothers, even though they may be some of the most eligible bachelors of the ton.

The next day brings a storm, silent but unrelenting curtains of snow billow outside the windows. You have never felt more cozy than in the drawing room, reading on sofas in front of the roaring fire with Eloise. You share passages and thoughts throughout the morning as other siblings file in and out, warming themselves by the fire or plucking at the piano. Gregory and Hyacinth engage in a raucous game of marbles at your feet before wandering off in search of food. At some point, Benedict enters and sets up an easel by the far window, then begins to paint, frowning as he looks out repeatedly at the white blur.

You should keep your eyes on your book, but they keep wandering to him. He has no jacket, and the sleeves of his ruffled shirt are rolled up to his elbows. His red gilded waistcoat is unbuttoned and he wears no tie. You’ve never seen a man dressed so casually who is not related to you. His brow is furrowed in concentration, and he chews on his lips as his hands glide through the air, dipping his brush into the palette on his arm, then floating across the canvas before him. His hands. They look strong, with impossibly long fingers, but they move so delicately as he holds his brush. Something about the way the light is hitting him, the way he is so singularly focused, the way his brow is quirked…

He lets out a frustrated groan, making you jump out of your reverie. You just hope Eloise hasn’t noticed but she keeps her eyes on the page as she calls out lazily.

“Something bothering you, brother?”

Benedict swipes the back of his arm across his forehead. “This is rubbish,” he grumbles. “Why on earth am I trying to paint a landscape inside? I should have finished this yesterday before the weather turned.”

“It can’t be all that bad,” you say, trying to encourage him. You just want to see that crooked smile on his face again.

“That’s very kind of you, Miss y/l/n,” he sighs. “But this one is probably bound for the fire.”

“Oh come now,” and before you know it, you are on your feet and walking across the room toward him. Your boldness surprises you, but you feel magnetized in his direction, so eager to make him feel better. “Let me see.”

You stand beside him in front of the easel and see a snow swept landscape, half-finished on the canvas. White hills under cold shadows, with thin evergreens stretching into the distance.

“It has no life in it,” he says quietly beside you.

You aren’t an expert in art, but you know enough to know that he’s wrong. Even unfinished, and even with so few colors used, it is beautiful. It is perfectly capturing your feelings in this moment, this cold but lovely country visit you are enjoying.

“I wouldn’t say that,” you counter. “It is very evocative. The trees are so lifelike. Truly, Mr. Bridgerton, you have more artistic talent than I could ever hope to possess.” It’s not an exaggeration. You are genuinely impressed.

His brows raise. “Have you tried your hand at painting, Miss y/l/n?”

“For about five minutes,” you smirk. “It was abysmal. I much prefer going to galleries now, and leaving the work to more skilled hands.”

Something lights in his eyes - cheeky and perhaps a bit devilish. A tickling feeling runs down your spine. 

“Not everything is that difficult,” he smiles. “Like these trees you admire. Here,” He presses his brush into your palm, already filled with green paint, and he stands slightly behind you as he points to the canvas. 

“Add another one there. Just feather the brush left and right in layers to make the branches.”

You look at him, nervous to ruin his beautiful artwork, but the warmth in his smile invites you to proceed. Focusing in, perhaps too hard, you swipe the brush left and right and make a fat little blotch of a tree next to his elegant renderings.

He chuckles softly behind you, then suddenly he steps close against your back, and his hand is wrapped around yours, holding the brush between both of your fingers. You exhale shakily, your every nerve set alight at the closeness of him, the heat of him wrapped around you. His hand, streaked with paint, envelops yours, his fingers soft. You can finally appreciate the slender length of them, can see the glint of pale hairs and the veins running from his knuckles up his bare forearm. You feel flushed and hold your breath, trying to stay upright, trying to act normal. 

“Like this,” he says softly, then guides your hand, dancing it around the canvas to make another beautiful tree that blends in perfectly with the rest. As your joined hands move, his free one comes to rest suddenly on your lower back, pressing with gentle but steady pressure, holding you still under his instruction. His grasp is so large, the pads of his fingers pressing through the fabric of your dress, somehow gentle and possessive simultaneously.

You don’t even know what you’re painting anymore. Your mind is growing fuzzy, all of your body is overheating. 

“Very good,” the pitch of his voice drops low, barely above a whisper, rumbling from deep within his chest, and his breath is hot across the bare skin of your neck . You want to lean back into him, to let him orchestrate all of your limbs in whatever way he wants to. You want to be wrapped in his arms. You wonder how he will respond if you ask him for regular art instruction. You are probably going mad…

Then Hyacinth comes barrelling into the room shrieking about Gregory and a ribbon. You snap your eyes toward her and Benedict gently releases you, stepping away and leaving the brush in your hand. Eloise looks over from the sofa, clearly unaware of anything that has transpired. The fire continues to blaze in the fireplace, but it is not the reason you need to retire and fan yourself.

That evening at dinner, the Bridgerton family shenanigans continue, but you are somewhat withdrawn. You smile politely at everyone but your mind is elsewhere, reliving…wondering… And there is only one Bridgerton brother who draws your eye that night.

[sergle]

Hey! Can I ask you for some advice? I want to get my friend a gift, but she's the type who will not accept expensive gifts, she prefers to treat herself. But, she DOES love cosmetics like nail polish, and I thought, ohhh, I know who to ask about that. So, do you have any recommendations for good bang for your buck for the gal who has everything, nail polish-wise?

HMMMMM!!! That's hard if she's The Gal Who Has Everything, if you dip into a brand that you know she likes, then you can't be totally sure you're not buying her a polish she already has... you're going to have to break into her house and write down the names of all her nail polish No but like. As a nail polish girl, the first thing on the table is that this is a rare occasion where I don't think a gift card is a cop out at all! Like, if there's a specific brand she really goes after, then going that route would just allow her to pick up a future release of her choosing, or specific stuff she has an eye on. If she's a nail polish girlie but has a brand you DON'T think she's frequented a lot (mooncat, ilnp, starrily, holotaco are all ones with catalogues that I like a lot- mooncat is probably highest quality and ilnp has the most range and the best deals) then hitting some of the polishes from there will mean you aren't risking doubling her up on some product. As far as picking colors and finishes, that's the fun part, that'd be up to you. The last option, also, the foolproof one: get shades from a collection of polish that is a New Release! And pray that she's not buying it at the same time as you. lmao Bang for your buck: I think one of the more fun things I've gotten for myself was gold leaf/gold flake? that shit they put on ice cream to justify the price hike in expensive restaurants. It's very very cheap to pick some up, and it's fun to use for nail art! You can also get her Tools and Basics that are helpful, like unusual magnets if she uses magnetic polish, glass nail files, cuticle pushers, stamping plates, or maybe a cute nail mat. One of those silicone ones. If she does gel (or is inch rested in it but hasn't done it herself) there are some pretty affordable gel kits by beetles, w the curing lamps too, I actually got one for myself one time. (but I don't do gel nails anymore) (I don't like taking them off) (but if she's a long-wear nails person she might enjoy doing gels at home) and if you do this, then you so need to buy her some buffing powders. That's like the number one reason to try gel, is you get to use those cool as fuck powders that don't work on regular nail polish. The Twinkled T ones are great. Buffing powders are how you get those really smooth glass-like looks like this:

and a tub of that shit is like $12. But it doesn't work on regular polish! I think that's all I've got. hope that helps!!

[forkfulofflavor]

Vanilla Panna Cotta Ingredients: 1 1/2 cups plus 1 tablespoon heavy cream (double cream) (375ml) 1 cup + 1 tablespoon whole milk (250ml) 1/2 cup caster sugar (or granulated sugar) (95g) 4 teaspoons gelatin powder (12g sachet) 3 teaspoons vanilla paste or 1 vanilla bean Directions: In a saucepan, combine the milk, cream, and vanilla. Bring the mixture to a gentle boil, watching carefully to prevent it from overflowing. Turn off the heat as soon as it begins to boil. Add the sugar and stir until fully dissolved. Sprinkle the gelatin powder into the warm mixture while whisking continuously to avoid any lumps. Pour the mixture into individual molds or ramekins, then let them cool at room temperature for about 30 minutes. Note: A thin skin may form on the panna cotta surface. This can be removed with a spoon while still in liquid form if desired, although it is not necessary. After 30 minutes, refrigerate the panna cottas for at least 4-6 hours or overnight until set and chilled. How to Remove Panna Cotta from Molds: Prepare a bowl of hot water. Take each panna cotta from the fridge and dip the mold in hot water for a few seconds. Gently invert the panna cotta onto a serving plate, remove the mold, and serve. Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cooking Time: 5 minutes | Total Time: 4 hours, 15 minutes (includes chilling time) Kcal: 220 kcal | Servings: 4 servings Vanilla Panna Cotta is an exquisite Italian dessert, renowned for its light and creamy texture that melts on the palate. The combination of vanilla bean and cream creates a delightful flavor that’s both elegant and comforting, making it a perfect treat to end any meal. Each spoonful is a smooth experience of subtle vanilla sweetness, enhanced by the delicate texture that panna cotta is famous for. Whether served plain or garnished with a sprinkle of fresh berries, a hint of citrus zest, or a drizzle of caramel, this panna cotta makes an impressive presentation at any gathering. With just a few simple ingredients, you can craft this restaurant-quality dessert at home, bringing a taste of Italy to your table. It’s a dessert that looks as delightful as it tastes, perfect for impressing guests or enjoying as a luxurious treat on a quiet evening

[readyforthegarden]

Breakable Heaven - Part Two

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Female Reader

Synopsis: Being the maid of honor in your best friends wedding is already stressful enough without the best man being the ex-boyfriend who tore your heart to shreds. Stumbling across a dating app with dates for hire, you take a chance, inviting a perfect stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend for the weeklong celebrations. But how long can the charade last when the champagne starts pouring and feelings start growing?

Warnings: drinking, talk of sex, mentions of cheating. 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

WC: 4458

“So now that we have our relationship history hammered out, are there any rules you have?” you asked, sweeping the makeup brush across your closed eyelid, leaving a pale pink in its wake. 

“Rules? Oh um…” Danny leaned against the table, already showered and dressed for dinner. You were sitting in your robe and hot rollers, waiting for them to set as you did your makeup. “Really I’ve never done this before. I was just tired of my friends ragging on me for being single, so I used this as a way to go on dates without the risk of being tied down.”

“Not a fan of commitment?” Danny shrugged at your question. 

“My last relationship wasn’t amazing. I just wanted to take some time for myself for a little bit, but they’re all partnered up and want to double date and feel bad leaving me out of couples activities.” he reached over, picking up one of your single shadows, popping open the top. He turned the small circular pod in his hands, watching the iridescent shimmer pick up the light coming from the windows. “They mean well, and truth be told, I do like dating, I just don’t want something serious right now.”

“I get that.” you nodded, following suit with the pale pink on the other eye. Danny watched you blend the pressed powder onto your skin before you picked up a fluffier brush with a slightly darker shade, blending it into the crease. “I’m sorry your last relationship was rough. You seem like a really great guy so far.”

“I could say the same for you,” Danny breathed out a small chuckle. “Yours was so bad you hired a fake boyfriend.” you paused your blending, glancing up at him with a smarmy look.

“Maybe we will have a fight and you’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I just mean that whatever this Gavin guy put you through must’ve been really hard.” you pushed your tongue against the back of your teeth, switching eyes again and continuing your process. 

“He cheated on me.” you finally mumbled, deciding Danny should know your background a bit in order to really play your fake boyfriend. “I came home early from a work trip, got a cab home to surprise him, crawled into bed, my bed, by the way, in my own apartment, and instead of cuddling him, I was cuddling some woman who was sleeping on my pillow.” Danny grimaced, clearing his throat.

“Yeah…no I think you win.” he said as you set down your brush. Looking up at him with a tight smile, you shrugged. Danny watched as your eyes fell, your mind swirling around one of the worst nights of your life. Without thinking, he took a finger, swirling the pad of it in the sparkling shadow in his hands before using his pinky to lift your chin up. “I think your look needs some of this.” he gently tapped his finger on your left eyelid before dipping back into the shadow and going back in on the right eye. When he was done, he had you turn towards the mirror, checking his handiwork. 

“I think you were right.” you smiled up at him. “Anyway, like I said earlier, I’m not trying to make him jealous. I just didn't want to face this alone. The pity looks and pats on the shoulders…no thanks.”

“I get that.” Danny closed the pod of eyeshadow, the plastic snap echoing in the room. There was a silence between the two of you as you continued your makeup, adding a thin black sweep of eyeliner across your lash lines. “I guess, no sex.”

“What?” your brows crinkled, confused at his words.

“The rules,” he set down the shadow on the table and folded his arms over his chest. “I guess having sex would muddle this business arrangement. Kissing is okay, it’s a part of the act.”

“Oh yes, of course.” you laughed, more at yourself for forgetting your own question. Looking back in the mirror, you began applying your mascara. “No sex.”

“That’s really it, I think…” Danny shrugged. “All other boyfriend duties are on the table.”

“One rule, should be simple to follow.” you agreed, screwing the top back onto your mascara tube and picking up your loose powder to set your face before swiping a nude lipstick over your lips. “Okay, give me five minutes for my hair and to get into my dress and we can head down.” Danny nodded as you got up from the table, leaving your makeup clutter all over it before turning on your heel and going into the bedroom, shutting the double doors and heading for the bathroom. 

Slipping off your robe, you took your dress off the hanger on the back of the door. The dusty rose satin slid over your body as you stepped into it, tugging it up your legs and torso, sliding your arms through the thin straps. You only got the zipper part-way up your back, but moved on to your hair, figuring Danny could help you. After carefully unrolling your hair and playing with it so the loose waves sat just right as they cascaded over your shoulders, you set it in place with some hairspray and stood back, taking it all in. Danny had been right about the light smattering of iridescent shimmer on your eyelids, making your irises pop from beneath your dark lashes. 

“Hey Danny?” you called out as you stepped out of the bathroom, towards the double doors. He was standing near the couch, fastening a watch around his wrist as you opened them, concentrating on not catching his arm hair in between the thick links of the band. “Hey, can you zip this the rest of the way for me?”

“Sure,” you stood in front of him, turning around and gathering your hair out of the way. Danny’s knuckles grazed between your shoulder blades as he held the top together. Feeling the other hand gently drag up the zipper, the dress tightened to your body more, and you let your free hand smooth it down over your torso. “All set.” he let go and you stepped away, turning back to face him. He had changed shirts while you finished getting ready, leaving behind the maroon button down for a black one, tucked into a pair of black trousers. 

“You clean up nice.” you smiled up at him, making him grin. 

“You do too.” he replied, stepping back to get a full view as you slipped into your heels. “Actually, no you need to change.”

“What?! Why?” you looked up at him incredulously as he just smirked.

“You’re gonna outshine the bride.” rolling your eyes, you leaned against the back of the couch, crossing your legs buckling the straps around your ankles. 

“Save the flattery for the party.” you moved past him once your shoes were on, grabbing the clutch you’d gotten to match and grabbing a few things from your normal bag, tossing them in. “Are you ready?” Danny nodded just as your phone pinged while you reached for it, Olivia’s name popping up above a message.

‘Gavin is here, heads up.’ your heart sank a bit, knowing it was finally here. You’d successfully avoided him since your breakup, skirting out of parties and events where the two of you would have to be in the same room as soon as you spotted him. 

“Are you ready?” Danny asked quietly. Looking at him, you rolled your shoulders back, putting your phone on silent and tucking it into your bag. You’d brought him here for a reason, and it wasn’t to shy away from everything Oliva, Mike, and her family had in store for the week.

“Yes.” you moved past Danny heading to the door and pulling it open with a little too much conviction, stumbling back in your heels as it swung into towards you. Suddenly a hand was on your waist, and you tilted your head back to see Danny laughing down at you. 

“It’s gonna be fine.” he assured you. “Now let me be a gentleman and get the door.” You let go of the handle as Danny’s free hand took hold of the door above your lead, keeping it open for you to walk into the hallway. Making sure there was a key card in your bag, you snapped the clutch shut just as Danny closed the door to your room. It was only the two of you in the hallway, yet he still slid an arm behind you, his hand resting gingerly on the curve of your waist.

You supposed it was in case anyone came out of their rooms as you were walking, and silently gave him a gold star for thinking about that. Especially with how warm his large hand was against the cool, thin satin of your dress. Reaching the stairs, you nearly whined at the loss of his toasty grip, but instead he took your hand, helping guide you down the stone steps in your heels. 

“God, you’re a perfect gentleman.” you laughed under your breath as he helped you down the last step. His hand stayed laced in yours as you made your way towards the vineyards in-house restaurant and bar. 

“I may not be here specifically to make anyone jealous,” Danny leaned down to speak softly in your ear. “But I can still let everyone know that you certainly upgraded from your ex.” A pink tinge heated up your cheeks as you looked up into his hazel eyes, and he gave you a soft wink. Entering the restaurant, you were greeted by the hostess, who led you over to the large banquet table towards the back, sectioned off by an archway from the rest of the large dining room.

“Oh my gosh!” Olivia squealed when she caught sight of you and Danny, running over in her bright white off-the-shoulder cocktail dress. A string of pearls rested along her collarbone delicately, matching the large studs in her ear. Her hair was now pulled back in a low bun, showing off her tanned and toned shoulders. “You look so pretty! And Danny, you look very handsome.”

“Thank you,” Danny smiled, smoothing a hand down his black button down. “I had to try and compare to her.” he squeezed your hand gently, tugging you into his side. You let yourself wrap an arm around him, hugging him and looking up, playing your part of the happy couple.

“Oh stop, baby.” you giggled. “You’re too sweet.” Danny just leaned down, rubbing the tip of his nose against yours.

“Both of you stop it,” Olivia jokingly said. “Mike and I are supposed to be the ones who are so sickeningly in love, you’re gonna make us look bad.”

“Can’t help it,” Danny laughed. “But we’ll try and tone it down.”

“I’m just joking!” Olivia waved her hand dismissively in front of her face. “Anyway, come on, they just brought out the hor’devours.” Danny kept his hand on your back, guiding you as you both followed Olivia to your seats. It seemed like you were the last ones to show up, the table nearly full. You temporarily departed from Danny’s side, saying hello to Olivia’s parents, thanking them for everything they’d done for the wedding so far. As you walked back to the empty chair, you noticed Danny still standing. You gave him a questioning look as he just smiled before pulling out your chair for you. 

“Do you think we’re laying it on a little thick too soon?” you leaned into him once he sat down, whispering lowly.

“If anyone asks, I’m just nervous and trying to make a good impression on your friends.” Danny whispered back. “Go with the flow, okay?” Nodding, you turned back to the table, noting your wine glass had been filled with a white wine during the small conversation. As you picked up the glass to take a sip, your eyes caught another’s. Bright green eyes stared at you from under light brown hair, unmistakable as you had stared into those eyes for nearly five years. 

“That him?” Danny leaned in close, reaching over for his own glass of wine. Tilting your head you confirmed it quietly. Danny cleared his throat, leaning back in his chair as he sipped the wine, his left arm coming to rest on the back of your chair. It took a moment for you to gauge, but you noticed that you were suddenly a few inches to the right of your place setting, closer to Danny’s side.

“Did you just-” you were cut off by a waiter reaching between your bodies, setting a dinner plate on the charger three inches to your left. Pan-seared scallops sat on a bed of mixed greens, a lemon infused garlic butter sauce drizzled on top with a side of pasta tossed in the same sauce. Mouth watering, you nearly groaned out loud when Mike stood from his seat, tapping the side of his knife against his wine glass.

“Now that everyone is here, I’d like to say a few words.” he began, smiling at everyone. “Olivia and I are so grateful to everyone for coming to help us celebrate this week. It truly means the most to us that our closest family and friends are here to support us as we approach our wedding. We have a lot of fun in store for you all, and Olivia will email out the itinerary to you all tomorrow morning. But for tonight, let’s enjoy our dinner, have a few drinks, and reconnect.” feeling a set of eyes on you made your skin prickle, and you attempted to ignore it, raising your glass with everyone else in cheers to Mike’s speech. 

Everyone was quick to tuck into their food, the scallops just barely steaming still on the plates. A low hum of general chatter filtered through the dining room, friends and vaguely familiar strangers getting acquainted.  It wasn’t until you had taken an entire forkful of pasta into your mouth that Olivia’s mom cleared her throat, directing her attention to you while saying your name.

“How did you and Danny meet?” your mouth worked overtime to chew quickly, but you didn’t need to worry, Danny was ready to perform.

“We met at a bar my band was playing at.” Danny answered, a grin on his face. “I saw her almost as soon as she walked in, and kept looking at her from my kit. I almost yelled at our singer to move when he blocked her.”

“You’re in a band?” Olivia’s voice was surprised, her foot coming to tap on yours from across the table. 

“Yeah, I’m a drummer.” Olivia turned to you directly, her eyes gleaming.

“A drummer?!” she mouthed with a wink, the tip of her shoe jabbing at your ankle as she winked and wiggled her eyebrows. 

“When we were done with our set, I lost her. I looked crazy going around the bar looking for her. I gave up and went to get a drink, thinking she had gone home, when the bartender set a beer in front of me and told me it was covered. I asked by who, and he nodded behind me and when I turned around, there she was, holding another one.” Danny’s left hand reached out, resting on top of yours on the table and squeezing gently. 

“We spent the whole night talking, I’m pretty sure his bandmates are still mad they had to take apart and load his drum kit by themselves.” you laughed as Danny shrugged, making a very unconvincing sheepish face. “Before we left I just knew I had to see him again, so I asked him to dinner and now we’re here.” 

“And how long have you been together, now?” Mike asked curiously. Shit, you hadn’t thought to nail down a timeline in your talks earlier. 

“Oh, um….” you floundered, looking over to Danny with wide eyes. He met you with a similar expression, his mouth open. 

“I think it’s about six months, now?” Danny’s face changed to look like he was trying to figure out a complex math equation. You nodded along, turning your hand around under his and slipping your fingers through the spaces, squeezing back.

“It feels like twenty seconds,” you smiled, keeping your eyes on him in case your lie wasn’t convincing. 

“Sometimes twenty years,” Danny laughed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your forehead. It was something innocent yet still in front of all of those people, made you blush, a small flutter in your heart that was hard to ignore accompanying it.  More ankle kicks from across the table had you turning to Olivia who was grinning. 

“That’s how it feels with Mike!” she enthusiastically replied, wrapping her arms around one his, hugging him. “Like we’ve known each other forever and not long enough at all.” Mike copied Danny’s actions, kissing Olivia’s temple with a smile. 

“And Gavin, when is your partner getting here?” Olivia’s mom turned to her right, leaning forward to speak down the table. You couldn’t decide if you should pay attention to him when he spoke or keep focused on your plate. 

“She’ll be here on Wednesday, she had a few work meetings she couldn’t miss.” Gavin answered, and it was then you looked up, noting the empty seat next to him. 

“And when did you two meet?” Olivia’s sweet smile was gone, replaced with one that made you reach your leg out under the table and give her shin a swift, hard nudge.

“About a year ago.” Gavin sniffed, now doing everything in his power to avoid your eyes.

“Are you sure?” Olivia pressed. “I feel like you’ve been with Naomi for longer.”

“Liv,” you heard Mike express her name lowly, like a warning, and you stared at her, shaking your head as imperceptibly as possible. She and Mike exchanged words quietly with their heads together before she rolled her eyes and shot you an annoyed look. 

“It’s been a year.” Gavin confirmed quietly, glancing at you quickly then back to his plate. An awkward lull settled over the table until one of the other groomsmen spoke up, asking Danny about his music, picking the chatter back up.

After dinner, most everyone made their way over to the bar area, having a few more drinks before ending their night. Danny found himself leaning against the bar, watching you and Olivia talk to a few other bridesmaids. Something was happening that you were excited about, the way your eyes were dancing as you spoke, a smile on your face. 

He found himself thinking about how pretty you looked, how you were glowing under the warm lighting. Your waves had become more loose over the evening, cascading down your back, a slight frizz appearing from the humidity of the room. Your cheeks were still blushed with pink, more from the wine in your glass now than early when it had been from his pretend affections. How anyone could treat someone so stunning so poorly, Danny couldn’t answer. If you had been his, he wouldn’t do anything to risk losing you.

“Can I get a scotch?” Danny glanced next to him, seeing Gavin addressing the bartender, who had just set Danny’s beer bottle down. Gavin glanced at Danny, who was now focused again on you. “A word of advice, don’t get too attached.” It took Danny a moment to realize Gavin was speaking to him, and he decided not to even look at him when he replied.

“I don’t recall asking for any advice.” Danny hummed, taking a sip of his cold beer. “I will, however, ask you not to comment on my relationship.” if Gavin heard him, he acted like he didn’t, continuing.

“Listen, as someone who has first-hand knowledge, it’s just not going to be worth it.” Gavin shrugged. “She gets boring fast. I’m surprised we lasted as long as we did.” Danny set his beer down on the bar, and finally turned to Gavin, keeping himself level as the anger in his body radiated. Who was this man to speak about you this way, after what he did?

“I’ll say this once and won’t repeat myself.” Danny stepped closer to Gavin, who stood squarely, barely coming to Danny’s chin in height. “Keep her name out of your mouth this week. Do whatever you have to do as the best man next to her, but if I hear you talk shit about her, or do something to her, I won’t use my words to warn you. Got it?”  The two men stared each other down, or well, Danny stared Gavin down as Gavin glowered up at him. 

“Everything okay?” you broke the two from their showdown as you set your empty wine glass on the bar. Danny smiled at you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his side, planting a kiss on your lips. 

“Just fine, honey” he answered when he pulled away, smiling at your surprised and breathless expression. “Right Gav?”

“Right.” Gavin nodded, taking the scotch the bartender set for him and walking away as Danny shot him a glare.

“What was that?” you asked Danny, letting him continue to hold you. Danny tore his eyes away from Gavin’s retreating back, and down to you again, shaking his head and taking another sip of his beer. 

“Don’t worry about it.” he replied. Deciding to trust him, you shrugged and shook your head when the bartender asked if you wanted another drink.

“I’m actually getting really tired, I’m going to head upstairs.” Danny discarded his half full beer, nodding. 

“I’ll come with you.” Much like before, he helped you up the stone staircase, holding your hand to keep you from wobbling after your few glasses of wine. Once back in the room, you leaned against the arm of the couch in the living area, unbuckling your heels and tossing them away from you, one by one.

“Danny, could you?” turning your back to him, you swept your hair over your shoulder, showing him the zipper. Without a word, Danny moved to you, dutifully pulling down the zipper until the light pink lace of your strapless bra peeked out from the split material. “Thanks,” he watched as you moved towards the bedroom, going to change and closing French doors behind you. Flicking the bedside lamp on, you began to undress.

As you slipped out of your dress and grabbed the sleep clothes you had laid out, you called out to him. 

“So what did Gavin say to make you look like you wanted to launch him into the next decade?” you asked, unclasping your bra and letting it fall to the floor, sighing softly in relief. Outside the doors, Danny leaned against the back of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“It really was nothing,” Danny tried assuring you. He didn’t want to repeat what the bastard had said. He wanted to spare your feelings after a hit so soon into the trip. 

“Danny, I’ve known you for twelve hours and I can already tell you’re lying.” you laughed softly as you pulled on the soft cotton sleep shorts and tank top, moving to the bathroom and grabbing a washcloth and your makeup remover. Opening the French doors, you rolled your eyes at a still silent Danny, moving around him and plopping on the couch. 

“He said he was surprised you two lasted as long as you did and that he got bored with you fairly quickly.” Danny kept his head down, not daring to turn and face you. He didn’t want to see the look on your face after a blow that low. 

“Huh,” was all you said, nearly forcing Danny to turn his head to you.

“That doesn’t make you mad?” you just shrugged, focusing on dampening your washcloth with makeup remover.

“I mean, I just think that’s rich, considering most of our relationship, he was a full-time unpaid intern and I was working two jobs on top of classes to support us both.” you scoffed, wiping your face with the washcloth. 

“Really?” Danny asked, unfolding his arms and turning around fully, grasping the back of the couch. 

“Yup.” you replied, popping the ‘p’. “Well, I shouldn’t say it like I solely supported us. His dad gave him an allowance every month, and Gavin made sure we were stocked up on video games, designer sneakers and literally anything other than heat, water, electricity and groceries.”

“Can I please go deck him?” Danny sighed. 

“As much as I would like to say yes, and Olivia would agree, I don’t think she’d like him to have a black eye in her wedding photos.”

“What if I could promise to get a really great editor on those photos?” Danny attempted to reason as you shook your head. 

“Maybe during the reception.” Danny patted the couch victoriously before turning and going into the bedroom himself, closing the doors behind him as you continued wiping your face. Danny changed quickly, opening the doors just as you were ready to wash your face. The two of you moved around each other in a comfortable silence, until you ended up brushing your teeth side-by-side in the bathroom. It wasn’t until you were pulling back the blankets on the bed that Danny paused and spoke again.

“I can sleep on the couch still, if you don’t feel comfortable sharing the bed.” he stood in his pajama pants and t-shirt, slightly unsure.

“This isn’t the first time I’m crawling into bed with a stranger.” you joked, fluffing one of the pillows on your side. “I’m comfortable with it as long as you are. If it makes you feel better, we can build a pillow wall between us.”

“No, that’s okay.” Danny adjusted his own pillows, settling into his side of the bed. The two of you settled in, and you had to admit you were relieved to see that with both of you in the bed there was still enough room that you could stretch out and barely be touching the other person. 

“Goodnight Danny,” you murmured as you reached over and turned your bedside lamp off. You shuffled under the covers, getting comfortable, hearing him do the same.

“Goodnight honey.”

“Honey?”

“I like that name for you, when we’re with your friends.” you heard him shrug under the covers. “Is that okay?” you smiled softly in the dark, it’d been so long since someone had given you a pet name. Even if it was only a ruse, it made your heart flutter.

“Yeah, I’m okay with that.”

“Perfect. Goodnight, honey.” and with that, you and Danny drifted off to sleep.

Taglist: (feel free to add yourself!)

@joshsindigostreak @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine @ascendingtostardust @sammysprincess @sammykiszkamyass @belovedsamuel @sunfl0wer-power @indigo-starcatcher @sammyscherub @earthlysorrows @lvnterninthenight @allieisacrybaby @losfacedevil @xserenax-13 @sarakay-gvf @shutupdevvie @myownparadise96 @watchingovergvff @gretavanfleetposts @josiee-gvf @joshkiszkatoothgap @madneedshelp @gardensgatedaisy @demonrat444 @dannyandthekiszkas @tearsofbri @paleshadow-ofadragon @happy-harpy-stuff @like-a-woman-in-a-dream @starshine-wagner @objectsinspvce @josh-iamyour-mama @mountain-in-springtime @cal-a-bungaa @capturethechaos @gvfpal

@allybjt @hippievanfleet @weightofbrokenbells @joshkiszkasbadussy @malany-gvf @ruby0antlers @samofthedawn @sacredjake @aim4thedoublee @diditallforyouu @gvfmarge @highladyofasgard @sammysvanfeet @gold-mines-melting @earthgrlsreasy @mountain-in-springtime @forcebond301 @stardust-and-shadows @llightmyllovee @gretavangroupie @comesofarsomehow @infinisonicosm @indigofallingsky @hellowgoodbye @hearts-hunger @fwzco @dharma-divine33 @lightsofthe-living-gvf @ascendingtothestarsasone @klarxtr @ofthecaravel @musicspeaks @radmads-gvf @madneedshelp @musicspeaks

[visenyaism]

Can you post the fried green tomatoes recipe??

i use my mind to make them at this point but i can write you one!

tumblr user visenyaism fried green tomatoes

INGREDIENTS:

-2-4 green beefsteak tomatoes (otherwise known as unripe tomatoes)

1 cup flour

1/3 cup cornstarch

1tbsp kosher salt

Dry Seasonings!!! I throw everything from my cupboard in there with reckless abandon based entirely on vibes. Today was paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, old bay, seasoned salt, black pepper, cajun seasoning, bbq dry rub, italian seasoning, za’atar, etc. About a half a teaspoon of each, though this is entirely up to personal discretion. Get the paprika, salt, onion/garlic powder and pepper in there at least.

4-5 eggs

1 1/2 cups panko breadcrumbs (can also put some italian breadcrumbs in there for vibes and flavor)

Canola oil (just have a whole big bottle ready)

DIRECTIONS:

1. cut tomatoes into slices, about 1/2 inch thick. the idea is thicker than sandwich tomato slices. Arrange tomatoes on top of some paper towels so that none overlap and season liberally with kosher salt. Cover with more paper towels and let dry 15 minutes.

2. While your tomatoes are salting, get 3 large plates out. I’ve found that those plate-bowl hybrids are ideal for this, but if you don’t have those plates with a little bit of a side will do.

3. In a large bowl, mix together flour, cornstarch, and the dry seasonings (whatever you think will be good, really). Transfer to the first plate once well-mixed.

4. Crack 4 eggs into the second plate, and mix well with a fork.

5. Breadcrumbs go on the third plate. Make sure to mix well if you’re using both Panko and Italian.

6. After 15 minutes have passed on the tomatoes salting, take paper towels off of tomatoes, scraping any excess salt off, and get ready to dip. Take a slice of tomato and place in the flour mixture, coating both sides. Repeat with the egg mixture, and then the breadcrumb mixture. THEN, repeat whole process again (so for each tomato slice, you’re going flour-egg-panko-flour-egg panko.) Your hands will get gross doing this. Persevere. Replace ingredients in the plates as needed. Set coated tomatoes aside on a baking sheet or cutting board.

7. Crack open a cold one while you get ready to babysit the frying tomatoes on the stove (optional)

8. In a large saucepan or skillet (one with high sides), pour canola and olive oil until there’s at least an inch in the pan. Use more canola than olive because it’s less expensive. Heat over medium, and then once it’s ready, fry a few of the tomatoes at a time until both sides are golden brown (flipping when necessary). Set tomatoes out on a cooling rack with some paper towels underneath, let cool a little, then enjoy!

TIPS:

-don’t blow your house up frying things in oil. Also oil does NOT go down the sink unless you really really hate your landlord

-you can single-coat things instead of double-dipping if you need to, it’s just not as good.

-pair with some kind of sauce. plain mayo works fine but i prefer something with sour cream or yogurt. The one i used today was yogurt, garlic, lemon, and every herb i had in the fridge

[th3-0bjectivist]

Dear listener, I gave myself a challenge for this week’s musical entry; produce an audio post that is nearly 100% lyric-free and 100% based in an electronic/synth style. My reasons why were two-fold: 1. It’s been about an eon since I put anything lyric-less up and 2. To demonstrate once again that you don’t need lyrics or organic instruments to invent impassioned music. After searching the internet high and low, I tripped, fell, and landed ass backward on Com Truise’s catalog, who has just the tuneful tool set you need to get your electronic nut off, and provide the post-nut clarity to keep you steadily coming back for more! Smash play and enjoy VHS Sex from 2011’s Galactic Melt and join me for more below if you care to learn a bit more…

When it comes to synth in music… please inject it intravenously into my forearms. If high-quality synthwave melodies were available in powder form, I’d rub it on my gums to experience it rushing through my veins! Com Truise knows this feeling and wants to positively shower you in a synth tidal wave that will make you instantly forget that there is no lead vocalist or a traditional two-to-five set of people working on different components of each of the tracks. It’s just one guy who happens to be great at removing the listener entirely from anything organic in music (guitars, live percussion, significant vocals) and exposes you instead to a soundscape approximately-fully comprised of electronic excellence, unhinged creativity and genuine sentiment and sensation. Prior to his time as a professional musician, soloist Seth Haley was a digital art director employed by the pharmaceutical industry. Lacking total creative freedom in his job, he focused instead on chasing his artistic pursuits and producing, as he refers to it, ‘slow-motion funk’. Heavy droning bass, complicated beat models, and brilliant synthesizer melodies are what you can look forward to if you delve into his discography, regardless of your personal point of entry. According to the artist, the music itself tells the iterative tale of a synthetic astronaut who is navigating through and eventually removing himself from the trials and tribulations of an oppressed society. It makes sense then that many of CT’s tunes have a tone that feels uplifting and heavy on the sensations of wonder and escapism. The music Seth Haley creates aren’t just songs, it’s a supernatural journey in an audio format. If you feel the sudden compulsion to double dip on the music samples from this artist, just below is Ultrafiche of You from 2019’s Persuasion System. Smash play and enjoy!

Truly quality music, regardless of its stripe or tone, should make you feel like you’re on some kind of good drug. You should feel high when the song/album/concert begins, and still feel high when the song/album/concert ends. Although I just discovered Com Truise a mere half-month ago, I could instantly tell that I was going to be addicted to a new audio drug for a while. I hope his jams have the same general effect on you. Image source: https://articles.roland.com/a-few-minutes-with-com-truise/

[shamrockqueen]

Dark room

Pairing : Soldier Boy Ben x Monsteress Supe Reader

Warnings : drugging, drug use, drug eating, semi public sex, cowgirl on the floor, tearing clothes, long tongue reader, Deep throat French kiss, unprotected sex, semi non-consensual sex, sex on the floor

Word count : 2211

AO3 Page Link

Herogasm oneshot I’d been sitting on for a while. Wanted to get it out there when I got it done.

Every inch of the house was bathed in the dim glow of candlelight. Light the bodies curled along the floor in a flickering orange glow as they contorted around each other. It seemed like the ultimate pleasure pit, until you’d stop and take a moment to really see if for what it was. This was when you’d see it for its imperfections.

It was in fact, a room full of lubed up kinky weirdos, doing god knows what to one another. It just really wasn’t your cup of tea. Although, what did you expect from a super orgy?

You don’t even know why anyone invited you. It’s not like you were public with your abilities, if you could call them that. You were always more beast than super. Super strong, yes; but also super scary.

Sure, there were plenty of people here interested in that sort of thing, but being treated like a fetish didn’t exactly turn you on. Sadly, that didn’t stop them from trying.

You suppose “get lost creep” wasn’t a decent enough answer for the fifth time you tried to shoo one of them away. Although, you didn’t think they would have the nerve to drug you. You don’t even remember having left your drink unattended, but that last sip would be your last.

Luckily, the effects of drugs are dulled in your system, and even though he must have tossed in a heavy dose, you were still on your feet. Swaying slightly, and dizzy as hell, but on your feet none the less.

You’ll break his bones later, but for now you have to find a bathroom to puke this concoction up.

You bum rush towards the nearest facilities. The lock busts right off the door and little splintered pieces of wood go flying as you shove your way through. You fell to your knees over the tub shower, and the porcelain of the tub lip felt cool on the exposed midriff, below your crop top and above the line of your short skirt. It helped sooth the cramping in your guts as your body fought off whatever was put inside of it.

The worst is the nauseous feeling in your head and the remnants of a dry-heave in the back of your throat. It took everything within you to not vomit all over the tub. Especially since this bathroom wasn’t empty.

Standing at the large granite double sink, all wrapped in his tight green and gold bodysuit, he stared daggers into your direction. “Hey?! Occupado bitch!”

You didn’t have time to pay much attention to him at first, but when everything got into better focus you quickly realized who it was.

The famous Soldier Boy had been indulging in some snow-cain in the master bathroom, away from what he later deemed to be a dull orgy. There was still a small bump of white powder between his thumb knuckle and his wrist, and you’d rudely barged in while he was at mid-sniff.

He was always known as an unsavory character, but as you heard footsteps reach the now busted bathroom door, you later heard, then turn around and leave faster than they had approached. Possibly when they saw the kind of Supe that could pull their spine out of their mouth. You’d escaped one danger while hiding behind another.

But, when he took in your sickened state, his harsh stare softened. And when you blubbered out “I’m sorry, man.” He actually felt a little bad for you, but it didn’t stop him from rolling his eyes at this lightweight on the bathroom floor.

“Lookin worse for where, little lady.” He’d gone back to tidying up the line of coke he’d prepared for himself before dipping his nose in and sniffing it up. He shook his head after as he grit his teeth.

You waited for your breathing to settle before you answered back “you have no idea.” At least his attitude was better.

Much better apparently, as he divided up another bump on his thumb, this time not for himself. He sauntered over to you as you rolled over off of your stomach to just sit on the cool tile. Your head felt like it would spin right off your shoulders, and you could nearly feel a bit of drool dry to escape past your lower lip.

His heavy boots knocked softly on the floor before he leaned down towards you pointing his powdered hand in your direction as if to offer it to you. “Ya need a pick-me-up?”

You tried to meet his softened gaze, but your head started to lull back and forth. He had to grip your chin to get you closer to his hand, but instead of a sniff your pointed tongue flicked out and licked it off of him. The pink muscle was elongated and nearly had a mind of its own as it started to twist around his hand. But, it wasn’t the monstrous part of you slipping free that shocked him into grabbing your face and clamping your jaw shut.

“Hey, Hey! You’re not supposed to eat it! The hell’s the matter with you?” His nails dig into your bulletproof skin hard enough so that little rivulets of blood leak to the surface.

But, you couldn’t feel it as your throat burned from the funny white powder you lapped up like candy.

His grip loosened when your eyes rolled back, and your body went slack. “Shit” was all you heard before he let you drop to the floor completely. But you still had a firm grip on his arm as your thick nails dug into his ‘hero’ costume. He couldn’t pull away. The strongest man in the world was caught under your grip.

He wasn’t one to let a little girl like you drag him around. “Hey! Let go, bitch.” He tries to pry your fingers off of his wrist, but they just dig in harder.

“You’re gonna get yourself hurt.” He started to grind his teeth as he gave his arm a couple of jerks in an attempt to shake you free. Only to get yanked back down to your level on the floor.

His body hits the tile with a hefty thump, but time moves too quickly for you to care as you throw yourself over him. Your feet land on either side of his hips as you drop back on your haunches. You thong-clad core pressing onto his clothed cock.

He was hard. Very hard.

He was afraid, only that your antics would’ve killed his buzz. But, as the white pony picked up its pace, it made your strength reverberate through his body as you ground your clit against the length of his swollen shaft.

It’s any question how it was still contained behind a wall of that thick fabric. You could feel the firm outline of his shaft, right down to a straining vein running along its length as you pushed your clothed bud against it.

Your hands land forward on each of his arms, pinning him in place below you as your tongue darts past your lips. It was long and lizard-like as it flicked under your chin as your face dipped closer to his.

He didn’t squirm like they always do when you show people the real you. He just groaned under his breath, a “Ho-ly shit” before your pink muscle slid along his jawline towards his mouth to tickle past his lips. He opened them to you, letting you snake your tongue around his to drink in his taste.

He was bitter with cigarettes, vodka, and a little tang of something you recognize hidden at the back of his throat. His last martini had to have been dirty.

Your nails dragged along the print of his cock that ran along the green fabric of his suit, making him jolt from underneath you and nearly pull away from hungry lips. Your tendril of a tongue doesn’t let him get far as your nails sink into the fabric to tear it from his skin. Letting his cock feel the cool but warm air that circulates between the two of you.

Your other hand weaves between the two of you as you shuck your wet core along his shaft through the thin fabric of your cheeky red thong.

You slip your fingers along the patch that covered your hungry cunt and pull it out of your way. You wouldn’t have imagined an encounter like this when you put the skimpy red troublemaker on.

The tip meets your now uncovered core and you can feel him twitch as got caught on your hungry opening. You pull your tongue from his throat when his adams apple bobbed with the constriction of his throat, struggling for air. At the same moment you sink yourself down onto him.

Your back arched, your hands were planted firmly on his chest, and your hips pushed back as you took him to the base to feel the head knock against the deepest part of your core.

“Woah, baby. Aren’t you a wild one.” His voice shook as he felt you squeeze him, as if your cunt wanted to milk him for all he was worth.

You have total control of each other's movements as you spear yourself up and down on his thick member.

Your body melted from the feeling of him widening your walls with a delicious sting. If he wanted to buck you off, he wouldn’t be able to. Not like he wanted to be free from the tight grasp of your sweet walls squeezing around him.

It’s a rough ride, but he handles you so well. He watches as your loose lace bralette let your soft breasts bounce with each time your body moved above his.

But, The Soldier-boy isn’t one to lose control of a situation like this, but he struggled to meet your pace. It’s astonishing how well you pushed back against peak super humanity as you fucked him into the tile. Yet in the end, he won out.

You were unnatural, a lab made monstrosity, but he was perfection incarnate…at least in his mind. Yet, He let that mindset give him the momentum to take hold of each of your thighs, hand meeting the back of each knee. Your buzzed brain thought nothing of it until he was back on his own knees and you were in the air as he made it onto his feet, all while his cock continued to dip in and out of your slip channel.

You pawed at his shoulders as you thought more about him slipping away from you than falling.

“Hold on, it’s my turn now.”

He twists your body until hands meet the towel bar and one of your still heeled feet hits the floor. He tosses the other leg over his shoulder, turning you almost totally sideways as he takes the lead.

His pace was faster and deeper. He was pounding the opening of your cervix hard enough you could have sworn you almost felt him even farther inside. It was enough to make your brain even fuzzier than before.

You held onto that towel bar until you felt the screws holding it to the wall start to shake along with the both of you. You claw at the tiled walls as your nails cut through the painted ceramic. All while as your insides were tied into tight knots ready to snap with each drive of his hips. You tried to keep leverage with your elbow and cheek pressed to the wall as he drove you closer to a bright white edge that made stars burn the back of your eyes.

The tight coil in your belly kept getting pulled and pulled until his final thrust. He came with a howl followed by “fucks sake!! That’s a tight cunt” as he pressed harder until you felt your teeth press into the wall.

He just spent the last moment breathing until he pulled himself free and his knees buckled out beneath him. You almost felt boneless as all energy had been drained from your body. The coke was still making your brain buzz, and it was all that was left to help keep you standing.

He sat back on the closed toilet as he watched you sway while trying to hold onto what was left of the loose towel bar.

You’d just drained the life out of him directly from his cock. It still hung out of his torn pants, now soft and wet with his thick cum and the slick from your sweet core. You struggled back around, taking the metal bar with you as it still sat in your grip as you tried to stumble away from this mess. Your heeled feet teetered under your weight as the high dropped as fast as it had risen.

As you’d turned tail and tried to flee the room, the clack of your shoes made the hero shock back into focus.

“Hold up.”

Your feet halt as ordered and you nearly bed forward enough to hit the floor. Instead, you right yourself and turn back towards him.

“I gotta get your number.”

A wave of heat flushed over your body as a sly smile spread along his lips.

[breadcheekstete]

More fat Tae please. Maybe one where he is really big and lazy?

hello hello (ôㅈô)/” you know how much i like chubby tæ so it was a pleasure to write it. i made him kinda slobby and it might be messy but i hope you like it 🖤 (i tried to make him as big as i am comfortable with, please understand)

[CW / Slob behaviour]

th has been watching the news go on for what feels like an eternity. he made the bad decision of leaving the remote on the coffee table when he turned on a movie that finished too long ago.

he could get up and change the channel? yeah. but he actually can't.

adding a whole 2l of weight gain shake, two and half gallons of ice cream to his already ample frame is his favourite activity and, honestly? he's already thinking of dinner.

you see, th is a big guy. he does not just have a gut and some spare kilos rounding his edges. and as someone that weighs 136kg, he's what anyone would call a slob.

a big belly sitting and spilling down his lap and between his thick thighs, spread open to give it some room. his arms hug the last ice cream tub, too tired to even prevent it from spilling in his already stained t-shirt. at this point he just wears it to hold his moobs in like a crop top, or even a bra, now resting pliant on the shelf that is his overstuffed belly.

he scratches at his double chin, itchi from the ice cream spilled and licks his finger clean, hiccuping a burp.

his spoon finally makes it to the bottom of the ice cream and he discards it, throwing it not so carefully to the floor. he hums, contently rubbing at the sides of his belly and pressing on the few pockets of gas.

not that he drank soda in the past hours but he's just so gassy all the time. he pats his underbelly, caressing the flabby area and dipping his finger into his belly button, expecting a burp to come out but is a loud fart what comes out instead. he even feels it rumble on his seat.

it felt really good to let out, but is not enough to ease the discomfort for dinner so he rubs circles on the expanse of his belly, taking turns with each arm so he doesn't get tired. in the end, is the hand resting on top of his belly that finds the wet belch he was looking for and he leans back on the armchair, relieved to say the least. 

the air is a bit heavy when sj comes back from work. th doesn't even hear him come in as he let out another resounding belch with his eyes closed in pure bliss.

"only you would eat ice cream as an appetizer," the older says.

th whines, belly gurgling under his touch. "if i could order something to eat, i wouldn't start from the dessert."

sj sits on the armrest, slapping his belly that barely wobbles at the motion but causes th to burp. "last time i let you order when i was still at work i found you being fed by the poor delivery guy."

th takes a fist to his chest and belches deeply, that felt so good to let out. "i wouldn't let him do it if he wasn't yøongi hyung. he knows our code."

"he knows it for emergencies!"

"it was an emergency, i couldn't get up."

sj stands right in front of him and brushes th's chin gently, daring. "can't even get up for the food you ordered yourself?"

"i'm sorry hyung, i was too full.." past full like he is right know, sj would dare to say. he's got other plans, though.

"if you can stand up by yourself and sit on the couch, i'll feed you."

"pasta with lots of tomato sauce sprinkled with weight gain powder and a 2l bottle of cola?" he asks with puppy eyes, and sj nods. it makes him so fond how under all this fat he's still the bright soul he knows.

th makes an attempt, arms quivering and belly annoyingly hard to even let him bend forward. he tries again, grunting and rocking himself back and forth to regain some strength, and then…

"damn it, tæhyung. that's gross," sj complains at the strong smell coming from the younger's agonizingly long fart he just ripped.

"you said, huff ." th stops to fan his nose. "you said i had to stand u-UuuURp, and i needed a little impulse."

"little ? the neighbors could sue us for that."

th stumbles a little as he balances himself and waddles to the couch, letting himself fall onto it and he shuts a loud cracking sound with another burst of air. "come on," he demands, patting the side of his belly. "it's dinner time."

[angelkin-food-cake]

Jasmine Apricot Macarons

150g almond flour, ground fine

150g confectioners sugar

55g  egg whites, one day old, room temperature

gel or powdered food coloring of your choice

55g egg whites, one day old, room temperature

150g granulated sugar

38g water

Jasmine White Chocolate Ganache & Apricot Vanilla Bean Confiture:

365g white chocolate 33%

156g heavy cream

10g jasmine pearl tea

40g unsalted butter, soft

4 oz. apricot vanilla bean confiture (If using store-bought or homemade apricot preserves, add ½ vanilla bean, seeds scraped).

Macarons:

Sift together the confectioners sugar and almond flour, in a medium sized bowl. Add the first portion of egg whites, but do not stir.

In a stand-mixer bowl, with a whip attachment, add your second portion of egg whites.

In a small pot, bring the water and sugar to a boil until it reaches 118C (244F) . Be careful not to splash any sugar-water on the sides of the pot to prevent crystallization. If you do, use a small pastry brush dipped in cold water to brush down the sides of the pot. When the syrup reaches 110C (230F), simultaneously begin whipping the second portion of egg whites to soft peaks.

When the syrup reaches 118C (244F), gradually, in a steady stream, pour the hot mixture into your whipping egg whites (set your mixer speed to medium-low and pour the syrup down the side of the bowl to keep it from being sprayed on the sides of the bowl by the whip). Turn up your mixer speed to medium-high and allow the meringue to whip and cool down to at least 50C. Meanwhile, combine your first portion of egg whites with the almond flour and confectioners sugar. If using, add your food color now and mix until the desired color is achieved. You will want to go darker with the color since the white meringue will lighten the finished color.

Fold your meringue into the almond-sugar mixture, in three additions. Add your first third, fold it to loosen the almond-sugar mix. No need to be gentle at this stage, as you want to fully incorporate the meringue into it so that it is easier to fold in the remaining meringue. Add your second third, this time folding gently, until you see no white meringue streaks. Add your last third, folding gently, until you see no white meringue streaks. At this point, you may add any additional food coloring that you’d like if you need to adjust the final color.

Now, check the consistency of your macaron batter. You want a glossy batter that resembles slightly runny cake batter. It should flow down nicely and with few breaks from your spatula when you hold it up high over the bowl. When the batter falls into the bowl, it should smoothly flow back into the batter in a matter of seconds. If it does not, simply give it a few more gentle folds and recheck your batter. Slowly, keep doing this until your reach the desired consistency.

Line a large sheet pan, with parchment paper or a Silpat. Prepare a large piping bag, with a small plain round tip, and pour in your macaron batter. Hold the piping bag vertically and begin piping 3/4″ to 1″ round shells onto your sheet pan, spacing them about 1/2″ apart. Once you have piped an entire tray, lift up the tray and rap it lightly on your work surface. This act will remove any air bubbles and help prevent them from bursting in the oven. Set aside for 30 minutes to allow a skin to form on the surface. The batter should not stick to your finger when lightly touched.

Preheat your oven to 163C (325F). Bake for 12 minutes, until the tops are set and don’t wiggle when you gently push them to the side. Remove shells from the oven and slide the parchment or Silpat onto a cool work surface. Allow them to cool completely.

Carefully, remove the shells from their surface and begin pairing the sizes up. They are now ready to be filled.

Filling:

Melt your white chocolate in small stainless-steel bowl set over a small pot of simmering water (double boiler). Remove from heat when it is just melted. Wipe any water off the bottom or your bowl carefully and do not to allow any water to touch the chocolate or it will seize up.

In a small saucepan, add the cream and bring to a simmer. Remove from heat and add tea pearls. Cover and steep for 5 minutes. No longer or it will become bitter.

Strain the steeped cream into a clean bowl and rescale cream back to its original amount. Discard tea pearls.

Pour steeped cream over the melted chocolate and using an immersion blender, combine the two. You may also use a spatula to combine the mixture, starting with small circles in the center and working your way out to the sides of the bowl to create a smooth emulsion. The ganache will thicken, become shiny, and develop a puddinglike consistency. Add the butter and incorporate with the immersion blender or stir in thoroughly.

Allow the ganache to cool and crystallize until the consistency is able to hold its shape, up to two hours or overnight. Place ganache and apricot confiture into separate piping bags, with the tips snipped off. Pipe a ring of ganache around the edge of the macaron shell and then pipe the confiture into the small gap in the center. Place on the paired-up “top” to the macaron, press gently until the filling reaches the edge of the macaron. Continue until all pairs are filled.

Place the filled macarons side by side on a tray, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 24 hours before serving. Remove them from the fridge two hours before serving to be enjoyed at the the ideal temperature.

[sailorshadzter]

Can you write a parallel with canon where Dani is Cersei, Viserys is Joff, and Sansa is to marry him. Jon could be in Jamie’s role as royal bastard. I live for salty teen, angst with happy ending!

okay anon

so hear me out

this has been in my inbox for.... well... forever. lol.

i apologize for the amount of time its been & for the lack of angst??? but i think??? this could span a second chapter???? or more??? i really love this setting & its not one ive done yet. so i can easily be tempted to do a little more to it.

anyways. i felt compelled to write this randomly so here's what i have for you SO FAR. be on the lookout for more! and anon, if you see this (or anyone really), feel free to request more, if you even remember sending this lol

send me prompts

The South is unlike her home in every way possible. 

She looks up at the daunting Red Keep before her, knowing that after this day, everything in her life was to change. The eldest daughter of the Warden in the North, she’s come to King’s Landing to marry the young King Viserys Targaryen, a madman some might say, spoiled and prone to violence when he doesn’t get exactly what he wants. Her father had been against the match of course, but when the King sought your daughter’s hand, there was little he could do but bring her South and hope for the best. 

And so, as they climb the steps to the double doors, they’re already swinging open, revealing to her and her entourage the young and beautiful Targaryen princess, Daenerys. She’s soft-faced, with violet eyes and silvery hair that she wears twisted back in braids, gems sparkling in the sunlight. Her powder blue gown is of the latest fashion, with long sweeping sleeves and an elegant waistline. “Welcome to King’s Landing,” she says with a glittering smile, eyes sweeping from one face to the next before they settle upon the redhead she knows is the girl who will marry her brother. “Lady Stark, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you.” She says these words but somehow, Sansa doesn’t think she quite means them. But, she smiles and dips her an appropriate curtsy, as she knows to do. Her manners are that of a well bred, noble born girl, a girl who had perfected her curtsy at three. There would be no one at court who could rival her in courtly demeanor. “Come, let me bring you inside…” She gestures for the small group to follow after her and they step inside the castle, which to her delight, is as beautiful as she imagined it would be. 

“Thank you for the welcome,” Sansa finally speaks as she turns to face the Targaryen princess, surprised when for the first time she notices another standing there. It is a young man, perhaps only a little older than she is herself, with dark hair and eyes that remind her of home… Why, she knows at once who this young man must be, her very own cousin Aegon, born of her aunt Lyanna Stark and the famed Rhaegar Targaryen. A bastard son, but a royal bastard, raised there among the Targaryen family he had left in Viserys and Daenerys. Some might even say he was the real claimant to the Iron Throne, but the boy had never seemed interested, and so it was Viserys who ruled as King of the Seven Kingdoms. There were some who even whispered rebellion in his name, but such whispers had yet to reach the palace spies. 

Aegon looks solemn as he stands there in all black, opting to leave behind the finery his aunt wears, wearing instead something that could have been homespun for all she knew. He is every inch a Stark born man, looking more like her own father’s son than even Robb looked, his features reminding her mostly of Arya. At once, she feels a twinge of homesickness, for the North would never be her home again. “The King is waiting for your arrival,” Daenerys is speaking once more, drawing her attention away from her cousin and back to the present. “I will have you shown to your rooms, so you may rest and refresh, then I shall have someone bring you to him in the throne room.” Sansa nods, pushing away the flicker of fear, holding her head high, like the queen she knows she must become. A queen would not be afraid.

A queen would be strong.

[ x x x ]

He can’t believe how beautiful she is. 

Of course, he’s seen her painted portrait, but even that did not do her justice, certainly not when she smiles. From where he stands beside his uncle’s throne, the young bastard watches as she appears in the doorway to the throne room, on the arm of one of Viserys’ nobles. She’s in a new gown, one of gray damask, sewn he can see in a fashion more like the South than the one she’d arrived in. Her red hair, so vivid, so long, is pulled half back, a knot of braids pinned into place with a dragonfly comb. The rest of her hair falls long and loose down her back, nearly to her waist, and his fingers ache with the need to know just how soft it must have been. 

“Welcome my lady,” his uncle speaks from where he sits, violet eyes sparking at the sight of the young woman that now approaches the dais. Viserys too notes the beauty of the girl before him, with red hair and eyes so blue they are unlike any color he’s seen before. She sweeps him a beautiful curtsy, dipping so low he wonders how she could ever rise back up, but she does so in a fluid motion that would put even his most noble women to shame. “I am delighted to finally meet you.” Their betrothal has been a long time coming, that was for certain, with many months of negotiation and delay. He rises up, surprising her, to come down the steps from his throne to stand before her, reaching to take her hand and bring it to his lips for a feather soft kiss. From behind him, his nephew wonders who has replaced his uncle, for this was certainly not the man he’s known all of his life. “You are a beauty.” 

She blushes beneath his compliments, dimpling prettily when she smiles. “Thank you, your grace,” she murmurs in a soft, but Northern accent. “I am happy to finally be here,” she goes on with a flutter of her lashes, her hand still in his, daring to give it the gentlest of squeezes. 

“I know you have met my sister, Daenerys already… This is my nephew,” he turns, gesturing towards the young man that looms behind his throne. “Come, Aegon and meet your future queen.” Though he looks as if he’d rather do anything but, he comes down the dais as well, offering the young woman a bow. “Aegon will be captain of the queensguard, you know, so I imagine the two of you will become fast friends. Show her around, won’t you Aegon? And tomorrow evening we shall have a banquet to celebrate your arrival.” He’s smiling, but much like Daenerys, Sansa feels as if what he says, or in this case, what he does, doesn’t really equate to the truth. But, she smiles and nods all the same, for this was her life now.

This was her family now. 

[ x x x ]

Aegon turns out to be more like a Stark than he knows. 

He’s sullen, quite like Arya tended to be, and that thought alone brings a smile to her face. “This way, my lady,” he says, speaking for the first time, gesturing for her to follow after him. Instead, she falls into step at his side, as was her right, and he casts a sidelong glance her way as they step out of the halls and into the bright afternoon sunshine, to visit first the gardens. 

“Oh! How beautiful,” she says as they step into the lush greenery, the floral scents overwhelming as she sinks down to the nearest of bushes, simply to breathe in the sweet scent of the flowers growing there. From where he stands, Aegon watches her, surprised by this seemingly uncharacteristic act, for she seemed like the perfect courtier, never slipping from the role she’s taken on. But here in the garden, for a split second, he realizes he is seeing her for who she really was. “The gardens in Winterfell are never in such a bloom,” she says as she stands upright, brushing off her gown with a smile. “I’ve never seen such beautiful flowers before.” 

“This is only the beginning,” he says as they continue on their way, passing only a few others as they go. “The season has only just begun, after all.” Her eyes widen and she seems delighted by this knowledge and Jon leans over, plucking one of the blooms from the bush, simply so he might tuck it into her braids. “Come, there’s more to see,” he says next and she cannot help but to giggle at his expense, hand to his elbow so she might once more walk alongside him, her skirts sweeping across the stone walkway as they go. 

“We are cousins you know,” she says after a moment, her turn to look sideways at him. He’s already looking her way, those gray eyes dark, eyes that seem to stare right into her very soul. Aegon nods, he knows this information well enough, his uncle never ceases to remind him that he’s only a bastard born son. “You look like my father, like my sister.” She goes on as they cross the path, his steps leading her towards a stone bench that sits in a far corner. 

“I have heard,” he says, for another thing his uncle has never let him forget was how un-Targaryen he looks. 

“I never met her, but you must look like your mother. My father always says that Arya is like Lyanna in all ways but the gown wearing and you have her likeness.” She thinks of her little sister left behind, never close, but certainly loved, and wonders what she was doing right then, right now. Probably causing trouble of some kind. “I wonder…” She trails off, tapping her chin in thought, head tilted back just enough that her hair cascades down her back, prompting him to wonder just how soft it might be beneath his fingertips. 

“You wonder what, my lady?” Aegon asks when she doesn’t finish what she’s started. 

When she turns her face back to him, her blue eyes are quite serious in their gaze. “I only wonder what you’d have been named, if you’d been born in the North.” She doesn’t mean to offend, but for some reason, his Targaryen name just doesn’t seem to fit. 

He’s surprised by these words, for all of his life he’s struggled with an identity that never felt as if it belonged to him. Aegon, though his name for nearly eighteen years now, has never felt as if it was truly his. As if it fit who he was supposed to be. Aegon, the name of his dead half-brother, a stolen name his uncle sometimes says in a rage, a name he does not deserve. “Well, had I been born in the North I’d be a Snow,” he replies to which she nods, staring at him as if she were inspecting him. 

“Jon,” she finally says with a smile. 

“Jon?” He questions, to which once again she nods. 

“It would be Jon, most certainly. Jon Snow.” 

“Jon… Jon Snow,” he tests it out, the name feeling familiar upon his lips, despite only just hearing it now. Somehow, this name seems to fit far more than his given name has ever. She’s smiling triumphantly, clearly proud of herself, and he finds he’s grinning himself, a strange warmth flowing through him. 

She opens her mouth to speak, but is silenced by the approaching footsteps of another. It’s a woman that stands there now, a little older than even Jon, with dark hair and eyes, dressed in the traditional garb of a handmaiden. “My lord, your grace,” it takes Sansa a moment to realize the woman is speaking to her with such a title and she reminds herself that she was queen to be, as good as married, considering the binding betrothal contract. “My name is Shae, I’m to be your handmaiden,” the woman continues only when she’s swept them both a curtsy. “The King has asked me to return you to your rooms before supper,” she adds, shooting a quick glance at the young man beside her. 

“Oh, yes, please let us go,” he gets up alongside her, issuing her a quick bow as she turns to go. She turns back only once and when she’s gone, he’s left there wondering why he feels so empty without her by his side.

[therealvinelle]

Skoleboller, would you recommend it to foreigners yes or no?

Fun fact, it's actually called skolebrød, but the language seems to be shifting towards skoleboller (as they are boller, not brød).

I would recommend foreigners boller, to do with as they please, skolebrød being a very interesting option.

Boller:

900 g flour

5 dl milk (make it fermented milk for extra juicy result) (doesn't have to be tempered, you can take it right out of the fridge)

1 egg

25 g/half a package yeast

150 g sugar

1 tsp cardemum

1/2 tsp salt (optional)

150 g butter (diced and tempered)

1 egg (for painting the buns. I do not know how to say this in English. Get a brush and paint, they will look good and their crust will be better)

(This is Trine Mikkelsen's recipe, an equally good one that I've had as much luck with and that is perhaps more beginner friendly is Det Søte Liv's recipe, it just takes more time as you have to wait for the milk to cool.)

A cooking machine is recommended but you can absolutely get this done manually, you'll just have to knead a lot.

Mix the ingredients, except for the butter and the last egg. If you're using fresh yeast, mix it out in the milk and if you're using dry yeast mix it out in a small portion of the flour before adding to the rest. You want the dough to release the edges of the bowl, your fingers if you're using your hands to knead, and be elastic, so add flour or milk if it's too wet or dry. After a few minutes of kneading you add the butter, knead for another five minutes until the dough feels right. Place it under a cover and leave to swell, I tend to go with an hour.

You now have a dough base, and can do a great many wonderful things with it, including just working it into little balls, leaving to swell for however long you wish, and then sticking them into the oven at 225 degrees celsius for 10-15 minutes and you will cheer at your homemade boller.

You can also:

The recipe above gives relatively few boller, you should double it

Make cinnamon buns (use a rolling pan to make a rectangle, as thin and straight edged as you can make it. Spread butter on it, then scatter sugar and cinnamon across it. Roll into a sausage, and cut it into rolls. Alternatively, you do not cut it, but either cut as is or use a scissor to cut a nice pattern into the sausage and present your cinnamon kringle to guests.)

Make apple cinnamon kringle (same as the above, you roll a rectangle, add... whatever eplemos is in English... you dice apples into tiny pieces, boil with vanilla, sugar, and water. Delicious, and then you put it on a bun dough alongside cinnamon. Roll up, and enjoy your fantastic kringle.)

Cinnamon knots (bit tough to explain, but: you have your rectangle, now you put butter, sugar, and cinnamon on one half of it. Fold the rectangle, and cut the dough into streams. Wind these streams into fancy knots, and you now have a very fancy-looking cinnamon bun)

Make raisin buns (you add raisins to the dough.)

Make skolebrød (you make indentations in the buns, NOT holes. Just a little indentation in the middle, and fill it with vanilla cream. Place in oven. When they're cool, you have two bowls before you, one is filled with frosting from powdered sugar and water (this is your glue) and the other with coconut flakes. Dip the buns into the frosting and then the flakes, and serve to awed guests. If you wish to freeze this, it is best to freeze them without the flakes.)

Make lemon curd skolebrød (lemon curd instead of vanilla cream)

Literally anything, the sky's the limit

Tips and troubleshooting:

If you use expired dry yeast, add more. You can also add water to it beforehand to rehydrate it, I haven't tried it myself but it has helped people I know.

Better to have the dough too sticky than too dry. The former will still taste good, and a too elastic dough can paradoxically be difficult to work with (in my experience).

If you're making raisin buns, the raisins should be in a cup of lukewarm water for about an hour before adding them to the dough. They'll taste better

If you're making raisin buns, do your utmost to stuff the raisins inside the buns. A raisin that stuck out of the bun and cooked for 10 minutes at 225 degrees will not taste great.

If you make a kringle, the cooking time will increase. Watch closely as you may need to place a sheet of oven paper over it to keep from being burnt.