#dopehead

[afroeurobillionaire]

Sad Crack Spot …

[youremyheaven]

long time ago i used to have a crush on a guy who was a twin, and i recently found out that he works in real estate and his twin who has a degree in anthropology, is currently unemployed. i always thought it would be the other way around and im so sh00k that my crush turned out to be the one with a white collar job

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

It's been many moons since I have enjoyed watching two women practice the Art of Pleasure

I've taught a few.

[titaniumchickens]

I haven't had a good day like this in many years.

[yandere-wishes]

Has anyone ever noticed how the fandom interpretations of Anakin Skywalker, Eren Yeager, and Paul Atreides are exactly the same? They're all reminiscent of your typical 70's dopeheads but in a cuter more endearing kind of way. Oh, also they've all committed genocide...

[nekrosdolly]

boyfriend's dad wesker hcs (18+)

you're sweet and kind, and your boyfriend's dad is... not.

a/n; reader is in their 20's/in college with wesker's kid, jake. wesker is a good dad just not here though! reader is dating jake muller-wesker. albert is a major perv here guys sorry. based on re5 wesker -`♡´-

cw; afab!reader, dom!wesker, lowkey size kink, nonconsensual recording, wesker being a creep, major age gap (12+ years), mentions of smoking and drinking, stalking, breadcrumbing as a manipulation tactic, eventual sex (clit stimulation, fingering, p in v, unsafe sex, cumplay, creampie), dubcon, cheating, grooming (technically), praise and degradation, slight daddy kink (if u squint),

petnames (reader received); dear, darling, sweet girl, dolly

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who has never cared for anyone younger than him, let alone someone as young as his son.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who takes interest in you after his darling son, Jake, brings you home in a hurry to get to bed. he's working in the living room, waiting for his son to come home.

he's not surprised to see his son rush through the front door, but he is, however, surprised to see he brought someone home. he moves his laptop from his lap to stand up and introduce himself the moment he notices you're there. the look on your face is one he's seen before- desire and the unmistakable reddened scleras from smoking weed, all directed at his dopehead son.

"jacob-"

"later, dad." jake rushes you to the basement, where his room is, and you're gone in an instant. it's clear you're just as high as your little boyfriend, gone off a blunt and some vodka. for some reason, that irks him.

he walks over to jacob's door and leans against it, ready to knock with his knuckles just an inch from the door when he hears something come from you. a moan, then a hushed whisper from jacob telling you to be quiet, and another, softer moan from you.

so maybe his face goes red and he sits there for a moment, focused on the way you sound and how loud you get when you cum. he's just as quiet as he was when he approached his son's room while walking away, forgoing his work and retreating upstairs to fist his half-hard cock.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who has a knowing look on his face the next morning, up early as hell just to catch you sneaking out of the house because your dumb boyfriend's still asleep. who's sitting on the couch and sees you looking a little rough, hickies covering your neck and your clothes messed up from your rush to get them on. you're a hungover wreck.

"good morning," his voice startles you, of course it does. you hadn't even noticed him, a residual high from smoking so much weed the night prior making your mind foggy. instead of running, like you want to, you approach the couch, your nerves aflame. why does he look so smug?

"mr. wesker, i-i'm so sorry about last night, it was so rude of me to not introduce myself…" you're blushing. you're intimidated by him and he loves that. he gives you a charming smile and reassures you that it's alright, dear, just hurry to class. he sends you on your way with a pat on your lower back.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who asks his son about you later. jake tells him all about you, just as wesker was hoping. while jake is in class, he installs cameras in the house- invisible to the naked eye, of course. he'd hate for you to feel surveillanced and scare you off.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who tells jake he's working late tonight as an excuse to sit in the parking lot of an abandoned building and watch the cameras from his phone. he pays special attention to the one he angled at the couch as he palms himself to the video feed of you, so cutely sitting there and talking with his son. he doesn't even have to try to spend time alone with you because you're always at his place, anyway.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who adores it when you blush from something he said or did, who wants you all to himself, his son be damned. he compliments your outfits, your hair, your perfume (how can he smell that when you're three feet away?) when your boyfriend isn't around. he'll brush a hand through your hair and murmur something about how soft it is, leaving you red in the face when your boyfriend comes back.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who knows it's wrong to want you and doesn't care. he loves the way you give your full attention to him when he's talking, how you pretend that you don't see the looks he gives you, or that you're not affected by the subtle touches and unspoken promises of more. a hand on the small of your back as he passes you, one on the back of your neck as he gives you a tour of the home- something his son neglected to do- his gaze lingering too long on the curve of your throat and waist, his imagination running wild.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who finds a pair of your panties in the wash, presumably forgotten, and takes them for himself. uses them to get off, his tongue on the gusset as he imagines your taste and how you'd clench around him when you cum.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who tells you that his son isn't good enough for you. who plants seeds of doubt in your head and waters them religiously. you're too oblivious to notice what he's doing, because mr. wesker is so nice, he would never do that to your relationship, right? who tells you that an older man would treat you right, much better than his stupid son.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who waits for you to get into a fight with his son about something so he can comfort you after his son storms out of the house, leaving you crying in his bedroom. you don't know what to do, don't know who to turn to, and like an angel, he's there for you. he pulls you into his lap and lets you cry it out, rubbing your back the whole time and whispering sweet nothings in his ear that leave you confused and in need of more comfort, because why does your boyfriend's dad make you feel better than your boyfriend ever has?

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who loves the way you wrap your arms around his neck, and in your vulnerability, trust him with your life. you're putty in his strong arms, his hold secure enough to make you feel safe. he knows you don't mind when one of his hands moves to your thigh, kneading softly to get your blood running south. he feels your face heat up, your hips shifting slightly to mute the gentle throb of your clit. as if you could get away with such a subtle thing like trying to hide your arousal.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who gently forces your thighs to part to accompany his hand. who's been anticipating this, the way you moan into his neck as he thumbs your clit through your panties. how you press into his hand when he slips two fingers in after moving your panties to the side. the way your hands grab at his shirt, your fists clenched around the fabric like you'd die if you let go of him.

"that's my good girl, taking my fingers so well. i know, i know, this is just what you needed, right darling? your legs spread so nice for your boyfriend's daddy." he croons, his lips just centimeters from your ear. the fanning of his breath against your neck, his long fingers in your cunt and the noises they draw out of you- utterly sinful. you know it's wrong, but just thinking about your boyfriend coming home to this sight has your cunt squeezing and aching for more. he knows you want it just as bad as he does, the way you're gripping his fingers like they're his cock. you're close already and he wonders just how long it's been since you've been fucked properly.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who kisses you to keep you from whining when he pulls his fingers out of you to undo his belt and pull his cock out from its cloth confines. who hisses slightly when you stroke him, slightly inexperienced but for him, you're willing to learn. who's so encouraging, holding your hips as you pierce yourself on his cock with little pushback. whose tip nails your cervix and he's not even fully inside. who's fine with that because as much as he wants this, he doesn't want to hurt you. who guides your hips in the way he knows you enjoy, because he's watched your boyfriend move you the same way.

"just like that, dolly. your cunt feels perfect, gotta ruin it for everyone else, don't i? mold it to my cock so you can't cum any other way. you'd like that, right sweet girl?" his nails dig into the meat of your hips, bouncing you at a steady pace. you nod dumbly, the pleasure melting your brain into nothingness. you could get addicted.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who doesn't pull out to cum. he keeps you brainless on his dick, forcing an orgasm out of you as he rubs that spongy spot inside of you. he grins when you moan his name as the pleasure comes crashing through you, your nails digging into his shoulders. he loves that sound.

"t-too much- fuck- please-" you whine, burying your face in his shoulder as he holds your hips steady, thrusting up into you with an unforseen vigor. he's not stopping until you're full of his cum, maybe even crying a little.

"quiet, darling. i'm only doing what's best for you." he hisses, his hips stuttering with stifled groan. you moan in unison, his thick, sticky seed spilling in you, but he doesn't stop fucking you.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker who fucks his load so deep inside of you, you're worried it might actually take. who strokes your hair as you remain on his lap, recovering when he's satisfied with himself.

"you're not going to tell my son about this, are you darling?" he runs his fingers through your hair until you're alright to sit up.

"no."

"good girl. come here." he kisses you again, sweeter this time, but you get the feeling that he's never going to let you go.

-`♡´- bfd!wesker, who refuses to let you out of his grasp, even if you break up with jake. you're not escaping him that easily.

[howlingday]

Savior?

Ruby: We came as soon as we could! Is he okay?!

Weiss: What happened?

Yang: The doctors say he's fine now. He just needs to stay a couple of nights so he can recover.

Weiss: What happened, though?

Yang: ...

Ruby: (Covers mouth) Oh my god...

Yang: I'm sorry, Rubes.

Ruby: It's fine. I'm... I'm just glad you got him to the hospital in time.

Yang: Yeah, lucky.

Weiss: ...

Ruby: Can we go see him?

Yang: Yeah, just ask the lady at the desk.

Ruby: Okay! You coming, Weiss?

Weiss: In a bit. I need to speak to Yang for a moment.

Ruby: Okay. Take your time. (Pecks cheek, Walks away)

Yang: ...What's up, Weiss-

Weiss: What were you doing at Jaune's?

Yang: Straight to the point, huh?

Weiss: Yes. Now answer me.

Yang: I was going to... talk... to him.

Weiss: Talk to him how? About what?

Yang: Why are you grilling me all of a sudden?

Weiss: Because between you and an Ursa, I'd trust the Grimm to be nicer to Jaune.

Yang: Ouch.

Weiss: You literally beat him to a pulp after he and Ruby had sex. She was afraid to tell you because she knew how you'd react!

Yang: Oh, so suddenly I'm the bad guy because I don't want some dopehead knocking up my sister?!

Weiss: That is not the issue, Yang, and it doesn't answer my question. Why were you at Jaune's?

Yang: I was trying to make him break up with Ruby!

Weiss: Oh... Yang...

Yang: Don't give me that! He's a danger to himself and the last thing I want is him getting Ruby hurt, too!

Weiss: That is not for you to decide, Yang! Just because you're her sister doesn't mean you get to decide who she dates, let alone put her boyfriend in the hospital!

Yang: I didn't put him in the hospital! I mean, I brought him here, but- I didn't put him here! I didn't! I... I didn't...

Weiss: ...Yang?

Yang: ...When I got to his place, his door was unlocked. I walked in, looking for him, and then I found him lying there. I saw the empty bottle next to him and I grabbed him. I called the hospital, and I carried him outside. As I brought him outside, he...

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Yeng...

Yang: Jaune! Just- Just hang in there, okay? You're gonna be okay!.

Jaune: Err... Err you happy... Yeng?.

Yang: Happy? What the hell are you talking about?!.

Weeeeeeeeeeeee-ooooooooooooooooh~!

Yang: Oh, thank the Brothers...

Jaune: I hope yer...

Yang: Jaune...? JAUNE!.

--------------------------------------------------

Yang: One freaked out ride to the hospital later and I called you guys.

Weiss: You saved Jaune.

Yang: No, I didn't. I... I was the one who almost got him killed. Sure, he took the pills, but I was the who pushed him to it. I... I'm such an asshole.

Weiss: ...Yes, you are. You're a selfish asshole who beats people up because you're uncomfortable with their relationship to your sister.

Yang: ...

Weiss: BUT you are also the kind of person who doesn't sit around waiting when someone is in trouble. You could have left Jaune to die on the floor, but you didn't. You could have dropped him in the street and dusted off your hands, but you didn't. You could have just gone home and left him alone here, but you-

Yang: I get it, I get it! (Sighs) Still, I feel like shit. All this time I kept thinking, "Was it me this time? Did I push him to do this?"

Weiss: Do you think you did? Did you say anything?

Yang: Well... Not recently, but-

Weiss: Then I doubt it was you.

Yang: But- Whoa!

Weiss: (Hugging Yang) Thank you. Thank you so much for saving Jaune...

Yang: ... (Hugs back) You're welcome, Weiss.

Weiss: (Pulls away) But this doesn't mean you can keep beating him up just because he's dating your sister!

Yang: ...

Yang: Alright, fine... I'm gonna head home.

Weiss: Leaving already?

Yang: Yeah... I think I've done enough already.

[piperslovebot]

Exactly! It’s like Trina Vega all over again.

Jake being so casual about not seeing Piper for a few days and not knowing where is…

What a father

[is-this-even-relatable]

So you know how Bruce Wayne is simultaneously Batman, the gruff, mysterious, cool calm collected, silent, methodical, badass no-nonsense hero and leader of the justice league… and also himself, the flirty, dopeheaded, klutzy, impulsive, loud himbo?

Most people write how Batman is more aligned with Bruce’s true personality, and he just pretends to act frivolously to keep people off his trail, but what if… Brucie Wayne, playboy, was his natural self, and Batman was the act?

Give me a crackfic bruce-centered where he goes about his Justice League day and is thinking inside all his himbo thoughts, but outwardly is scary. He stays silent a lot because he doesn’t want to say something stupid. His patented Batman Glare (TM) is 100% helped by the angles in the cowl and the fact you can’t see his eyes. He responds in grunts and hmm’s because he has only half an idea of what is going on. But he can goddamn throw a punch, that’s for sure.

[morgue-xiiv]

Out with them Andre Opinions! 👀

Sorry for the delay!

bad: hypocritical about "dopeheads and burnouts" "squatting" in the church. locking the doors and trying to weaponise the police against them. Keeping Acele out in the cold so his dude friends can hang out in a tent with their gear.

good: uh artistic music loving supportive of Acele's music stuff, *phone automatically closes my FAYDE tab* uhhhh... and probably other stuff too!

[skidmark4]

gotta buy evry band pin as a todestrieb cstm cs i cba forkin out £ 8 4 a single pin made by sum dopehead on etsy

[nco05]

Congrats Pogi on winning TDF again but specifically pissing off old cyclists (read the dopehead cheaters) in the meantime

[crmsnmth]

Watermelon Jolly Ranchers

She's sweet Like watermelon Jolly Ranchers The smell of candy drowns the room And I am a puppy at her side pissing on the floor because I'm excited

I watch as she helps the helpless decidding to spend her free time working On trying to save the whole world I can see the weight crush her as she blames herself And there's nothing I can to confort her

It takes more than you to cause the climate change I promise you, mistakes happen

She's a pretty strict vegan and I broke her I took that, and soon she broke the rules because I had this livid need to play with people

Even the ones I love. Especially the ones I loved.

She knows I'm a liar but she sticks to it I wouldn't have blamed her if I left and it was too late when I finally realized This world is not my play thing Ego death saviour

She's gone and I'm a dopehead drunk swimming in the gutters when it rains Only to think of memories I already have written a thousand times

I always wonder what you'd say if I apologized for being such a fool Of course we wouldn't work, all that work and love I invested What would you do, if I took all the blame and said you did nothing wrong? What would happen if I finally succeeded on my never-ending goal? It's time for me to sleep and dream of falling Sometimes I hit the ground without waking up and that's the closest to death I've ver been

She's sweet, Like the taste of watermelon Jolly Rangers

[gotchipoints]

would much rather a dopehead than a methhead!! at least people on heroin dont scream at you in the train they just mutter and drool on the windows a bit. everyone should start taking opiates instead of drinking too.... at least dope doesnt make your pores ooze with boozy reek

[chicken-wayng]

Watching Piper go ham on Pennsatucky's face cured a small part of that little girl inside me raised by a dopehead, xtian

[brenshor]

Ava: You can't just nail the window shut! What if there's a fire!!

Mother Superion: Well then I guess you can just light your dope with it, dopehead.