#doom legacy of suffering

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2009): Legacy of Suffering

Hey, kids. Ya wanna play some Deum 3 on Doom 2?

…

Okay, it’s not really Doom 3, but… eh… that will do.

G5: Legacy of Suffering

Main author(s): Logan MTM

Release date: November 28th, 2009 (original release)

Version(s) played: updated

Required port compatibility: GZDoom

Levels: 10 (8 regular ones, 1 post-credits and something called LOSINV01)

Now here is something weird from Brazil – Legacy of Suffering, AKA another one of those WADs that released its first part, and nothing else after promising more. In the case of this stillborn WAD series, we also have mixing original Doom games with elements of Doom 3. That, and the shotgun with four barrels (I’ll get to that in the longer moment).

This project started as a combination of two old projects, one from 2006 by Logan himself and 2007’s Dark Base by Maurício Rocks. The plot was different from what we got, there was supposed to be more artwork and even some 3D stuff; so basically, typical stuff that was changed in production.

The plot, meanwhile, happening right after Doom 3, focuses on a super soldier bloke, who got arrested because he was going insane, is now on a moon base, and that base ends up attacked by demons.

Since we will be tackling one of those ZDoom WADs that likes to use a huge chunk of the source port’s features (you know, those smelly wankers), I can only hope that it won’t annoy me as much as many others before it. Let’s take a look.

Disclaimer: Review based on two playthroughs without secret hunting.

You know how Doom 3 was around 75% walking through some dark tech base with occasional trips outside and in hell? Well, in this WAD, it’s, without counting the post-credits map along with taking place on the Moon instead of Mars, always walking through some tech base crap, except it doesn’t feel as dark as the original release of Doom 3.

That doesn’t mean the base looks bad; it looks good, and it has some nice details here and there, I especially like the sixth act with a monorail. I just wish it had more map styles.

The music is… good, I guess? I recognized tracks from Painkiller (I need to replay that game one day) and the remix of Sign of Evil at Act VIII fits like a glove; I just wish it wasn’t that loud (turn down the music volume just in case). Also, and it’s a more personal problem, I listened to so many great MIDIs from the past and future WADs that listening to the music with actual instruments in Classic Doom mods feels off. It doesn’t boil my blood as much as MIDIs.

The design of the levels doesn’t really feel that complicated. Even though the automap doesn’t show the layout (yep, it’s one of those), it was still a far cry from some of the bigger moon-logic crap I’ve played. I still recommend using IDDT on the map (at least on your second playthrough); I don’t think there is a shame in doing that in cases like this.

Our protagonist has regenerating health, so if you want to, you can wait in the corner like it’s another Gears of War or Call of Duty to come back to full health (although it’s kind of slow). I don’t really mind it.

I feel like the ZDoom cutscenes might be the least obnoxious ones I have experienced in ZDoom WADs. Sure, there are moments where it takes control out of you, but these are rather short, there is no annoying, pretentious dialogue, and most of the time, these are rather dynamic; they actually show stuff. You can even outright skip some of the longer cutscenes. It’s like the cutscenes evolved into being passable at worst, and if they are worse, then they almost evolved into this state.

As I mentioned earlier, there is a secret map that you can play after the credits roll. It’s good, I guess? It kind of reminded me of the first trip to hell in Doom 3 (maybe it inspired that map).

Despite its name, Legacy of Suffering won’t really let you suffer with its difficulty. It is challenging, don’t get me wrong (mostly because projectiles are now faster -_-), but it’s not really a ball buster.

It gets interesting since the enemies have some new moves on their sleeves. Shotgunners and Chaingunners can now dash-attack after being hurt (luckily, the latter start firing much later), Pinkies barely feel pain and have a chance to ram at you (spectres don’t get these bonuses), Revenants fire two missiles instead of one (and can fire after throwing a punch), Barons have a chance to shoot three fireballs instead of one, Arachnotrons drop cells after they completely disappear (like all of the other demons), and Lost Souls have reduced health (and new, more annoying sound effects).

The WAD also adds three new enemies to the roster. One is the regular mob – Super Shotgunner, wielding its namesake and having more health than any other zombie (from what I’ve experienced).

The other two enemies are bosses; there is a super Hoovy that has an upgraded chaingun that occasionally fires rockets as well. The other is called Shadow Guardian, which is basically a digitalized Hell Knight from Doom 3, that can be only hurt by plasma, and fires a deadly AOE attack after getting hurt.

Typically for such WADs, you also get new weapons. I mentioned a shotgun with four barrels at the beginning of the review, and that’s what the cannon shotgun is. You can fire from one barrel or from all four at once with the alt-fire; it is also the only weapon that requires manual reloading.

The second new weapon is launcher chaingun (or what the fuck is it called), which you steal from the uber Hoovy. It’s basically a chaingun on steroids with a small rocket launcher attached to it.

Like the old enemies, the old weapons get some changes. You reload the super shotgun slightly faster; there is a small delay before the regular chaingun starts firing; you punch faster but weaker (you can also kick); you can swing your chainsaw now with the alt-fire; and the plasma gun now fires a blue BFG ball with the alt.

Legacy of Suffering is an interesting specimen. Out of all of the ZDoom WADs from the 2000s that sacrifice the fun and gameplay to focus more on the source port’s features, this one feels like it could age the least poorly.

Do I still recommend it? Kind of? It’s worth taking a look at it but not for more than one or two playthroughs at once.

The next WAD on the list is an interesting case since it requires Skulltag to play. I’ll see what I can do with it. If the first map breaks down, I’ll let you know and probably cancel the review of the next WAD.

We will see.

[felidacy]

Batfam meets dead boy detectives agency

Shenanigans of ghosts Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian set in an alternative universe where they never met as brothers, having died long before that, but become family all the same. While following around young, poor psychic Bruce Wayne and tormenting him into staying alive through finding purpose in solving cases and bringing justice.

Bruce Wayne nearly dies alongside his parents on that fateful day when they are shot when the Dead Boy Detectives were close by, solving the case of a victim from the Joker. Impulsively, because he saw himself in Bruce, Jason possessed the body of a young police detective by the name James Gordon and followed the instructions of Tim to save the boys life before the ambulance arrived. They were now at risk of being discovered for breaking a rule by the Lost & Found Departement, but none of the boys could find themselves to regret the decision to help Bruce.

Against their better judgement they stick around, using the excuse of solving cases to keep an eye on the boy. They see how he is consumed by grief and got into more and more reckless situations as if he was daring death to take him. Bruce was unable to live with the fact that he was spared and his parents weren't. Dick saved Bruce from falling to his death by appearing in front of the boy and screaming, neither prepared to the fact that Bruce can see ghosts. They think at first it has something to do with his near death experience, but Bruce then reveals that he is a psychic and because of that always seen as an outsider and bullied regardless of his wealthy status.

It was then decided by the Dead Boy Detectives that in order to remind Bruce that he still has purpose in living, they will show him how he can thrive through justice and that his gift isn't a curse. Some more reluctant than others bring him into the agency and together they go through many shenanigans and cases, all the while Bruce grows in age and talent alike under their tutelage. And before they know it they are a very unlikely and supernatural family.

And family always likes to help Bruce even when he becomes Batman and gets the title of greatest detective, takes in his own children and becomes a mentor. They love him forever, but that does not stop them from absolutely tormenting him as big brothers should.

In a bittersweet way it gets way less awkward to explain the strangeness of Bruce Wayne when his own wards go through near death experiences and finally meet their uncles.

~

~

What I think the boys would have died of and their circumstances as ghosts. While tempting to just give backstories from Edwin and Charles to two of them, I thought it would be more appropriate to give them their own version.

Dick was killed in 1936 at a concentration camp after having been separated from his family because of his Romani ancestry that made people (Nazis) believe him to be dirty. He died nameless, one of many, and with no grave for his body as he was left to carelessly rot away. His family lived, but they never knew what happened to him and were unable to follow through with their funeral rites to guide him to the afterlife. He found himself unable to move on however as he wished to bring justice to all those that were killed and merely labeled casualties in war like he had been.

It was Dick that started the Dead Boys Detectives Agency, hence the awful name as everyone proclaims with his terrible naming skills.

Damian was the youngest when killed and not too far back in time too, the 1970s. He had grown up under the restricting rules of his family back in Arabia Peninsula when he discovered plans of his grandfather that wanted to rip Damian of his own future plans. Still a young boy, he wanted none of that and after packing his things and stealing some money he ran away to the land of America where the TV always told him it was the land of the dreams. Anyone could become wealthy there. Damian wanted to show his grandfather that he knew better and would bring honour to their family, in his way. But Damian soon found himself without money, stranded and in a country where he barely understood the language. Then one day he was too desperate and despite his instincts telling him not to, he followed a man and trusted him. Later on he was killed by John Wayne Gacy. Damian only wished to stay around until the man was discovered and his family took his body back, but instead his family rejected him despite recognising the body.

Damian was a rage full and miserable ghost for a long time after his death and being discarded by his family as he couldn't understand why he was seen as dishonorable when he had been the victim, his family never once blaming the killer. As he wandered aimlessly and wished to bring misfortune on everyone, it was Jason that found him then when a witch wanted to use him for power and slowly got his trust after being rescued as the older boy taught him tricks to stay safe. Damian kind of just stuck around after that.

Tim despite not looking the part, is the oldest of the four, having been accused of witchcraft back in 1692 for simply wishing to heal people and yearning for more knowledge. His methods were unfit in their eyes and he was also seen as witch for looking too naturally feminine, blaming him to be putting up a false front and using bodyshifting to allure men. He was burned at the stake in Salem without ever having been listened to for once in his short life. This settled his resolve and he refused to move on, too stubborn to listen to death and instead find his own path.

In a strange way, Tim did not miss living as he soon realised. He had endless time now to learn whatever he desired. If it be science, languages, politics, autonomy or actually witchcraft now. Hah. He had so much to learn and he was delighted to just learn the laws and tricks in the world of the supernatural. This made him the expert in the Dead Boys Detectives Agency and he was called 'Old man' by the others for his behaviour and wisdom.

Jason just like all his brothers had been wronged. His death in 1950 was not out of the ordinary itself, a cop that shot him for the colour of his skin when he had done nothing wrong. It was an injustice and an action of racism, but in the grant scheme of things that just made him one of many and his family was able to mourn him for one thing. Unlike his brothers conflicted history. What truly wronged Jason however was when a careless necromancer came around and played with his body, just after he thought he was finally at peace and could move on. Instead he was yanked back into a body that was his but also not and he had no control over himself, left spiraling, as the body attacked others and gnawed at their skin. It sickened him and this time around he was glad when he was shot again. Murdered twice by the same man, one injustice one a saving grace. Jason from then on decided to never let others carelessly harm the innocent again.

Jason held some anger issues that he always attempted to hide away from others. Having grown up under heavy scrutiny of his father and the eyes of society that saw him as a dirty rat he had a lot of it bottled up inside. This makes him the most vicious ghost.

[jazforthesoul]

EPIC PRO TIP!!

IF YOU DO NOT WATCH ANY EPISODE OF JRWI RIPTIDE YOU CANNOT BE HURT !!! DO NOT !!!

[dreamspring]

also i think ive already said this but about people trying to make cassandra wayne a thing. like. i GET it and i respect it but also im sorry it sounds so much worse. ‘umm but cain links her to her abusive father’ well yeah. but have you considered that it sounds cool as fuck…

[dailyadventureprompts]

Villain: The Lauding Worm

Born of hubris and old glories gone rotten, this pallid demon of pride exists to parasite those that consider themselves great; Lurking in the walls of their ancestral estates, whispering in their ear, bloating along with their egos, inevitably driving them to cruelty and ruin as it's appetite and expectations grow ever larger.

Adventure Hooks:

The party are travelling through the wilderness when they encounter a richly attired knight exhausted and on the edge of collapse. After helping her recover, she shares that she is part of a noble family renowned for their legacy of dragonhunting, a life threatening challenge she must exceed if she is to honour her family and claim her inheritance. The expectation of this great and dangerous deed has worn heavy on her shoulders all her life, and has become all too literal now that the demon has invisibly coiled about her neck. Fresh off it's latest incarnation, the Lauding worm is small for the moment, feeding off the knight as she destroys herself for the sake of legacy and will not allow her to be dissuaded from her doomed quest. It may infulence the party to join her however, seeing the potential for gorging on greater glory should the dragon slaying succeed. It the aftermath of the battle, or perhaps some weeks later, the Lauding worm will convince the dragonslaying knight that the great do not share their glory, and that she must eliminate the party so they do not tell of her weakness in needing aid, or her shame in not striking the final blow.

Something is wrong with the king, and the whole realm suffers for it. Obsessed with building expansions to his palace he neglects the welfare of his realm and the stability of his court to empty the treasury into ever more elaborate construction. Brigands run wild, his underlings scheme and attempt to seize each other's territory, and all the while the king pours over the plans of his architects and demands they build more. The Lauding worm has gotten to him, it lives and grows in the castle walls, and the more the king builds the bigger it gets. The servants whisper of rumbling behind the walls, and though it is excused as the byproduct of the constant renovations, it's only a matter of time before the demon's growth exceeds what can be constructed and it breaks free to rampage across the land.

The Lauding Worm has a special reward for those who feed it best, realized only in the rare times it grows bored of gorging itself on the pride of others and seeks to enact its own ambitions. Taking the guise of a mortal necromancer it raises it's favoured hosts from their graves and turns their talents towards Conquest.

Artsource

[nazrigar]

Transformers Allspark: Megatron's and Codexa's Work Buddies.

So my AU finally has name: Allspark! A reflection that it's a story about family, generations and the legacies that come with.

This post is focusing on Megatron's and Codexa's work pals.

Megatron is a miner in one of the most productive places for Energon in all of Cybertron, while Codexa is an archivist in the Temple of Primes.

From Megatron's side:

Jazz: Logistics officer. A bundle of fun, and lover of music and culture. He has a rivalry with the killjoy of Soundwave.

Soundwave: Communications officer. The guy who's responsible for everyone commnicating with each other. Lover of excellence, but also thinks Jazz is an annoying sh-t.

Brawn: DA BOSS. He's the manager of this entire unit. Small in size, big in personality, mightier than most bots. Respect his authority.

Blackout: AKA THE BIG GUY. The man who transports Energon in-and-out. A giant of a man with a strong sense of comraderie.

Shockwave: Former senator and scientist, but got empurata'd for reasons unknown. Thankfully his personality is still intact, however he's doomed to be a glorified processor. Suffers constant boredom and annoyance.

Lugnut: Lugnut is Lugnut. Not bright, but acts as security to make sure nobody is thinking of doing anything rowdy. Loves his job.

From Codexa's side:

Mistress of Flame: Speaker of Solus, and the primary teacher of the ways of Solus Prime. Aloof and none-too-personable, but can be inspiring when need be. Her presence on Cybertron is a signal of Caminus' interconnectedness with the home world.

Dai Atlas: Calm, Steadfast, and one of the mightiest warriors to ever live. A lover of peace who makes sure that his temple is a sanctuary for others.

Cyclonus: The professional Unicron's Advocate, a woman with knowledge of all the holy texts and philosophical tenents, and it's her job to poke holes in each, thus ensuring that society never takes one philosophy too seriously.

Star Saber: THE Paladin of Prima, who holds the Compendium of Prima, a holy book that talks about the life (and failings) of the great Paladin of Primes. Wise and powerful, but also witty with a sharp tongue if needed.

Tigraton: Originally a pilgrim who came to the temple to be closer to one of Onyx's relics, decided it was better to stay as an advocate for beast formers everywhere. Deeply spiritual and introspective.

Pyra Magna: Temple Guard, unusually more cynical in comparison to the others. She has seen much, and hasn't done prayers in a long while, but the Custodians of the Temple of Primes are family and she'll do anything to protect them. Anything.

[artbyblastweave]

So I blew through Ultimate Marvel Team-Up in order to get context for when Daredevil starts sticking his horns back into the main Ultimate Spider-Man book, and what's really interesting to me is that Bendis's rendition of basically every non-Spider-Man cape who shows up in that gesture at what could have been an extremely cohesive Ultimate Marvel setting;

Hulk is very visibly classic Hulk in every respect, but with the added implication that he's currently neck-deep in a thriller-conspiracy uncover-the-truth kind of plot regarding the government experimentation with super-soldiers that's upstream of all of superhumanity in the Ultimate Universe. This idea was later binned, Banner was framed as neck-deep in spook shit and unlikely to try and defect from it in the way he was implied to be trying to do.

Iron Man's origin is changed so that he got abducted by rebels while attempting to sell weapons technology to a right-wing U.S-backed junta in Guatemala during the Reagan Admin, and moreover in direct retaliation for attempting to do that; this is upstream of his decision to stop selling weapons technology, and the two-shot where he teams up with Spider-Man involves Latveria attempting to steal the Iron Man Armor- with Tacit SHIELD Backing, because Nick Fury is willing to let Dr. Doom have that tech if it increases the chances of the U.S. Government eventually getting a crack at it. This extremely interesting cold war dynamic between stark and Fury also mostly got binned.

The Fantastic Four are nearly identical in function to their 616 counterparts, except that instead of a spaceflight they got their powers on a years-long expedition to the Negative Zone, having Challengers-of-the-Unknown style adventures, which both neatly resolves the datedness of the spaceflight origin and allows them to have their veteran hero status simultaneously with the idea that the heroic age is just starting out. The Negative zone was also mentioned to be the home dimension of the Skrulls, Kree, and possibly Galactus, neatly explaining why so many spaceborne threats keep making themselves earth's problem so specifically. Ultimate Fantastic Four was just good enough (And Bendis's two shot otherwise boring enough) that I can forgive the parts of this that they binned. I mean we got Marvel Zombies out of it, that's worth everything in the world

Ultimate Dr. Strange is interesting in that he's the son of the original Dr. Strange, whose origin, career and supporting cast are actually largely exactly the same but also linked to the IRL time period of Strange's debut, the early 60s through the early 80s. Stephen Strange Jr. is the inheritor of a legacy his disillusioned Mother Clea spent twenty one years trying to keep him well away from, rapidly attempting to learn the ropes under the apprenticeship of a long-suffering Wong and largely coming across as a scientologist-adjacent crank in the media. This is actually a really fun way to put Strange at the Metaphorical kids table with the rest of the aged-down heroes while also keeping him from breaking every story, and although Bendis did get to keep using him in this capacity it ultimately didn't amount to much because he got turbofucked during Ultimatum after only a couple of appearances.

Shang Chi is introduced in the middle of a Kung-Fu walking-the-earth situation, with Spider-Man haphazardly (and unsuccessfully) seeking him out for martial arts lessons when he realizes he's just leaning on his powers as a crutch in most fights. He offers him like 20 dollars

The broad outline of a lot of these ideas, and the political themes they were gesturing towards, survived their later delegation to other authors to some extent, but were corroded by Millar's cinematic bombast on The Ultimates in particular. I mourn the version of the Ultimate Universe where they just gave Bendis enough amphetamines to have him do all of it. At any rate you bet your ass that if I ever commit to trying to do some kind of fanmade unified Marvel Timeline I'd poach all of these

[oltammefru]

HG loves hiding things in trailers that are only revealed years later and they pull another one with Episode 14, specifically with the Episode 8 trailer.

The text in it is framed as a conversation between Theresa and Amiya that makes the most sense specifically in the context of Ep14:

"Amiya, when heroes die, for a lot of them it's not unlike a landslide. Those who stand to benefit from their fall, or their legacy, are either corrupt, or doomed. Amiya, I don't believe in the superficial. The heart beats despicably within its lofty casing. An unsolved problem hides beneath the clumsy lies. Amiya, we are fated to lose so much. All we have suffered and all of our traumas tear us apart, and these wounds will never heal. Amiya, the protectors must also be the attackers. What we gain, we take from others. Creatures tend to avoid harm. Life is selfish and uncaring. Amiya, I believe these trials and tribulations, this boredom and frustration, will never end. These people have nowhere to go. All we do, we do in vain. Amiya, to change a man is to make him believe. To make him believe is to destroy his faith. Nothing can save such a lost soul. And yet, Amiya, everything I have said to you… You may yet be able to overcome it all. You can predict, you can prepare, you can endure, and you can overcome misfortune. Amiya, there should be no such thing as "fate."

Both the "the protectors must also be the attackers" line and the "Amiya, there should be no such thing as "fate"" line are direct quotes from Ep14 (up to slight differences in translation).

In particular, the part of "All we do, we do in vain. Amiya, to change a man is to make him believe. To make him believe is to destroy his faith. Nothing can save such a lost soul. And yet, Amiya, everything I have said to you... You may yet be able to overcome it all. You can predict, you can prepare, you can endure, and you can overcome misfortune." makes me feel so so bad for Theresa, especially since she is pretty clearly talking about herself here.

She's suffered so, so much, being brought back from the dead and experiencing for herself how terrible and agonizing the existence after death for the Sarkaz is. Becoming resolute that she must do what she can to free the Sarkaz from the Originium, even if it means trampling on her own ideals. Because she believes she is a failure who gave into her despair, a victim of fate, the thing that must destroyed to build a ladder, and in the end, it is Amiya who will overcome her.

[hamletthedane]

Falling deeper into obsession over the parallels between Hamlet and Juliet’s characters, and how both plays are ultimately about children playing out their parents’ revenge fantasies. Protagonists placed in the position of puppets who only exist to further the ends of others.

The revenge of their stories is not their own. They did not cause the problems that they now suffer for. And somehow they ended up as the protagonists to a story already in motion.

But that’s where it gets interesting: they actively CHOOSE to struggle against the legacies and ancient grudges of their parents. The plot is not their own, but they MAKE IT SO.

The story of Hamlet is not that of Othello or Macbeth or Henry V: he is not self-motivated in his revenge, and can only be the passive participant of the inevitable plot (as R&G Are Dead points out to great effect). The things he does don’t ultimately matter: this is his father’s story, and his father’s revenge will occur in one way or another. “The readiness is all…” But he can do something: he can choose to end the story, to accept his fate and refuse to forestall his doom any longer.

The story of Juliet is not that of Rosalind or Merchant’s Portia: her defiance and cleverness, struggling against the edicts of those who raised her to create a renaissance generation, does not result in happy marriages ever-after. She dies trying to change the course of her fate and trying to defy the inevitability of a revenge plot coming to a head. She dies at her own hand, aware that only her and Romeo’s deaths can resolve the story they’re in.

Incredibly, in the inevitably of a narrative set in motion - doomed from the start - there is still an element of choice.

We have two very different characters driven by very different goals but still bound by the contract of their narrative to play out the tragedy. They’re children doomed by their parents and characters doomed by their narrative and stories doomed by the audience’s consumption of them. But what makes Hamlet and Juliet exceptional is their struggle against it. Somehow, in all the chaos and violence of the stage, they gain a small amount of power and control - for just a brief moment, they make decisions that change their story.

(And maybe those changes only work to immediately end their story, but they work nevertheless. In the horrible time-loop of a tragedy narrative, their escape is arguably the ultimate resolution of their character arcs. They “take arms against a sea of troubles/and by opposing, end them” at last)

[captain-hawks]

Dee, I have Thoughts and no one irl to brainrot @ so pls excuse the umpteenth time I am in your notifications this weekend.

Last week I word vomited in your spicy requests about how much TraditionalGarb!Hoshina plagues my thoughts. Well, I went out for dinner and had a few cocktails, and my slightly drunk, pliant mind was churning the entire ride home. [Sober Note: I started this ask right when I got home, and now, having sobered up a bit, holy hell I am sorry for getting lost in the sauce and turning what was supposed to be drunk imagines into something ludicrous. I can't quite bring myself to delete it bc I was clearly so into it, but seriously if this is too long/annoying please just ignore me!]

I'm thinking of a historical period-era AU Hoshina clan. Not too familiar with Japanese history but maybe Edo period, idk about historical accuracy. In my imagines, reader is from a less influential, albeit wealthier clan, has 2 older brothers, and grew up around the Hoshina family from birth. Both their families are preoccupied with the eldest children and their role in continuing the family legacy/business, so their families don't hound them too closely in their childhoods. They're in a rural, countryside part of Japan with plenty of wild grass and flower fields. Soichiro holds all the weight of family expectation so he is more aloof. But Soshiro is allowed more freedom, so when he isn't obsessively training, he is spending time with reader as her closest childhood friend. Meanwhile, reader is trained in all the traditional arts and duties expected of her, but she also has a love for calligraphy (or painting but idk how accurate that is) that she is allowed to cultivate because, again, her parents aren't hounding her too closely. She's fascinated by Soshiro's swordsmanship and makes him show her all the moves he is learning, and in turn, he is enthralled by her knowledge and love of calligraphy and likes to hear her talk about it for hours even if he doesn't quite get it. Because they're in a rural area, they also play outdoors together whenever they can, climbing trees and splashing in the streams, and Soshiro is rough-and-tumble and free around her in ways he can't be at home when he's ceaselessly trying to measure up to and surpass his brother. As they grow older they are naturally forced apart due to expectations of their genders and stations. They still hold onto what they believe is a fondness for their childhood friend, until one day, as the wild wisteria blooms and they see a glimpse of each other after an absence of several months, they both realize that the innocent fondness held in their hearts had taken root long ago and finally bloomed into love.

Unfortunately, in the Edo period, warrior families started to lose their place in this era of newfound peace, and the Hoshinas are forced to worry about their place in this world for the first time. At the same time, reader's clan is struck by tragedy and her 2 older brothers are killed in an accident, leaving a vacuum for the future of the clan. The Hoshina and Reader patriarchs decide on what they believe is a mutually beneficial arrangement: Soichiro and Reader shall join their clans in marriage. Reader's clan benefits from the prestige of the Hoshina name, and the Hoshina clan benefits from the prosperous wealth of her family. As the sole remaining offspring of her clan, she should be honored to be chosen to helm the Hoshina household and bear its heirs.

Ofc Reader is devastated, but she knows that her voice is unimportant and she will forever be doomed to suffer in a life so close to her dreams, but with a cruel twist. She sees Soshiro just once after the engagement announcement, and it is with a too-cheerful mask that he congratulates her on her match, and, in a moment when no one is looking, he slips into her hands a small gift that he had picked up in the capitol on his last trip and had been meaning to give to her: some fine new ink he thought she would love for her calligraphy. He supposes it is an engagement gift now, even if the gift is only really for her.

On the eve of her wedding, she manages to sneak out and find Soshiro. Together, they go to the grassy field of wildflowers by the creek they played in as children. Even though fate is not on their side, it seems the moon has sympathy for them, because it hides behind clouds and conceals their illicit meeting. They're finally able to declare their love for one another in the place where it all began. She tells Soshiro that even though destiny was determined to keep them apart, she wants to know what it is to wholly love and be loved, just once in her life. So under the glow of a thousand fireflies, she undresses Hoshina, gently pulling his kosode apart to reveal his chest. She laughs lightly as she traces his scars-the old and familiar ones from childhood, and the newer ones he has acquired in manhood. She traces the marks she remembers: the dented scar on his shoulder from when he fell out of the cypress tree trying to grab a beetle to impress her when they were five. The patch of slightly uneven skin along his arm from three years later, when he had run after his father's horse in the road and tripped down the hill. The thin, raised slash from when Soichiro had cut him in training at age 11, to teach him a lesson on inferiority. From there, she draws lines to the unfamiliar marks: a puffy patch of new skin from a recent battle wound that has only started to heal, two pigmented gashes where he was gouged in battle last year, a mottled expanse of bruises on his ribs from where he had challenged Soichiro last month, just after the engagement announcement, and had finally shown his brother that his attempted lesson in inferiority had never sunk in.

She says that all these marks tell her a story in the same way a calligrapher's soul is left indelibly in their brushstrokes. She sees a world in his body, and it tells her favorite story. Overwhelmed, Soshiro finally crashes into her and through the flurry of kissing he has her on her back in the grass, slipping her out of her garments. He's mapping his way across her significantly less blemished skin with his lips and tongue, and laments between pants that he will never be able to partake in the story of her body, because she belongs to his brother and he cannot leave his own brushstrokes on the expanse of her skin. Breathless, reader pulls a bottle tucked into her undergarment next to her heart-a vial of the precious ink Soshiro had gifted her. Her wedding is tomorrow-she knows there is no way he can leave any lasting marks on her. But for tonight, she is his and she wants some proof of that, however temporary. So Soshiro dips his finger in the ink and swirls and dips it all over the memories he has buried in his mind: a spot on her neck where a particularly vicious bee had stung her as they chased tadpoles as six-year-olds, a whorl on her shoulder where his ten-year-old head rested as she unrolled endless scrolls to extol the virtues of some long-dead calligrapher, an almost-violent slash just under the swell of her bosom where he had caught her when she had fallen in her attempt to swing his katana at 13.

And as he finally lines up his achingly hard cock and breaches her cunt, as he makes love to her for the first and last time, he grieves for the death of the two stories written here-hers, which will be washed off her body as soon as she returns to her home, and his, which will wither and end without her to trace the patterns and give them the meaning he can never find by himself. [sober note/holy run on sentence batman]

you better believe i'm posting this ask because IT NEEDS TO BE SEEN!!!

MY FRIEND!!!!! i'm on my knees. i'm begging. i'm clawing at the air. i'm frantically waving anything of value that i have in your direction. i implore you to write this because i'm wholly obsessed. a period piece, childhood friends, the arranged marriage, THE YEARNING, THE LOVELY POETRY OF IT ALL EVEN JUST AS A SUMMARIZED VERSION!?!?!?

She says that all these marks tell her a story in the same way a calligrapher's soul is left indelibly in their brushstrokes. She sees a world in his body, and it tells her favorite story.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(don't even get me started on him painting on her????? oh my god i'm so unwell. i need one of those fainting couches. i want to CONSUME THISSSSS)

you're a genius. a brilliant wonderful genius.

[asharaks]

solas & the evanuris, part two

By the ‘present day’ of Inquisition, opinions on fen’harel vary widely from clan to clan. to some clans he is a frightening figure and to others a more neutral one; however, he is not considered evil per se, rather unpredictable and insidious and frightening — who does his advice benefit? how do you tell whether his advice will save you, or doom you to save something greater? 

he’s running damage control when red lyrium breaks containment in da2 and precipitates the plot of dai; it causes the prison in which he keeps his peers to fracture, which leads him to formulate and carry through his plan; he’s willing to accept the countless deaths it will cause to reverse what he’s done, but from the beginning this is a great tragedy to him. 

there are plenty of opportunities to speak with him about the gods; depending on when you do so and your relationship with him, his attitude towards them (in particular mythal and elgar’nan, god of vengeance and retribution) varies from bitter and resentful (particularly in the early game) to almost wistful (towards the end, as he grows closer to the point at which he believes he will see them and the suffering he’s caused them again). he also remains fairly nasty in speaking about modern elves, but with a visible current of guilt and shame about what he feels he has reduced them to. as lavellan in particular, speaking more positively about the rest of the evanuris than about fen’harel will provoke frustration and even anger in him, and the more you anger him, the more transparent he becomes. 

the inquisitor can still make the choice to drink from the well of sorrows, which binds a piece of mythal to you as her protector; as lavellan, solas takes this worse the closer your relationship (romantic or otherwise) because he fears seeing you become him and repeat his mistakes, remembering his legacy as mythal’s right hand. his response to this fear is to become hostile and antagonistic, berating you for the choice rather than explain himself, which covers his real fear for you as well as the emotions brought up by seeing what he believes to be the worst of himself play out in you. (if your relationship is worse, he is noticeably more vigilant around you and quicker to question your choices than he previously was) however, any inquisitor other than lavellan who chooses to drink from the well sacrifices all relationship with him as he can’t countenance mythal’s essence going to one who isn’t elven; dialogue here varies depending on previous relationship.

for this part, we (briefly)(not that briefly) return to origins, and flemeth & morrigan. as previously stated, mythal’s spirit has been carried by elven mages, specifically: the spirit of her people, nurturing and protecting her as she did for them. elves in dire need, elves in times of heightened emotion: how she came to possess the elven mage flemeth isn’t known, and accounts vary, but the facts remain: the witch of the wilds is an elf, indisputably, and so are her children. she remains ancient, and odd, far older than she has any right to be, and continues her isolated life in the korcari wilds as presented. morrigan, her elven daughter, reared in the wilds and cut off from society at large, retains her contempt for others she views as weak. throughout origins, she continues to make remarks about circle mages, about city elves, her opinions on the dalish being mixed: she both respects and admires them, and holds them in pity and contempt, believing her education from flemeth is worth more than their own culture. her upbringing, combined with her status as a powerful witch, has left her feeling disconnected from the elven people, a mage before she is anything else, flemeth’s daughter before anything else: her time with the warden gives her more worldly experience, and a new perspective, but she doesn’t lose those sharp edges.

we meet her in inquisition, playing a similar role to the vanilla game: as an elf, she doesn’t hold a prestigious position, but is rather regarded similarly to briala, as an amusement celene keeps out of eccentricity. she simultaneously resents and disdains this attitude, and various comments throughout the winter palace suggest that many of the Game’s more competent players are well aware of how dangerous celene’s magical advisor is, in much the same way as they talk about briala. briala and morrigan are shown to have a complicated relationship, with briala standing for the elves morrigan considers herself separate from, and morrigan placing her emphasis on esoteric magical studies, giving herself a reputation as a less-than reliable political ally. her relationship with an elven inquisitor is likewise strained, with her attitude to the dalish becoming more pronounced, as she becomes defensive when called on it: she and solas are to be found in tense discussion around skyhold more than once. kieran, if present, is also elven.

SO: we come to the well of sorrows. morrigan immediately volunteers to drink, and she and solas begin to argue almost immediately. he points out her disdain for other elves, particularly those on the blunt end of the most brutal oppression, while she argues that she is best equipped to use the knowledge provided by the well; the inquisitor can also put their two cents in, here, with unique dialogue for elven inquisitors.

it is also possible to put forward another candidate here: Briala. as a highly significant spokesperson for the elves of orlais, she represents a major faction in contemporary elven culture, and has already shown willingness to go to extreme lengths for her people. depending on the outcome at the winter palace (if she survived; if she isn’t in exile) it’s possible to suggest her, as a representative for the elven people.

it is possible to suggest solas drink, and though he will become agitated and angrily refuse, this is met with a sharp spike to approval, and decreases disapproval for any following choice (morrigan, briala, the inquisitor), with the exception of non-elven inquisitors. upon nominating a candidate, he will always protest; the player is given a couple of options to defend their reasoning, with one giving a slightly decreased disapproval. for example, asserting morrigan’s right as stronger will net greater disapproval than arguing her right based on her shrewdness and dedication to forgotten magics. as lavellan, volunteering to drink yourself profoundly agitates him, particularly with high respect/romance.

Solas never actually explains his real motivation in DAI; he keeps the inquisitor in the dark until the end, obfuscating with grandstanding about the hypocrisy of the gods as he is unwilling to face sharing what he did, but reading between the lines and dialogue with mythal reveals cracks in his story that reframes solas as a less righteous figure than he claims. 

He has hair. It is beautiful.

(previous - solas & the evanuris, part one)

[navarice]

horror and psychological thriller in tgcf was done so incredibly well that if the beautiful and touching love story wasn’t incorporated into the book, I would be fully convinced mxtx decided to switch to another genre.

no one really talks about her fascination with the descent to madness and the morals surrounding humanity. at least one main character of each book goes through it. for lbh, it stemmed from the fear of abandonment and the emptiness that follows when the people you care most about decide you aren’t worth being chosen. for wwx, it was the outside in. society deemed him a monster so he had no other option available to him. no way to prove them wrong, and no way to convince himself he’s not either. anything he would do, despite his most well meaning, sincere, and self sacrificing motives, will always be twisted by the world who likes to paint others the devil. for xl…it was such a defeating combination of the two that it was near impossible for him find a way out. no family nor friend to turn to, no place to hide or run away, continuously forced to confront dilemmas beyond anyone’s capacity that sawed away at his already frayed sanity. worse was him having to confront godhood doesn’t mean omnipotent, nor does ascension mean free of suffering.

the way i choose to see it as this is her commentary on human nature, in both freedom and fallibility. ascend to heaven as a human, yet those in heaven are still human. wants, desires, fears, traumas, love, hate, selfishness, self-lessness, kindness, compassion, sacrifice, loss, hubris, duty, family, friends, hierarchy, power, and, above all, free will are all things that make humans what they are. are we wwx and xl? sacrificing ourselves time and time again only to have it all thrown back at our face? never once chosen or understood unless when it’s something short of a miracle? or are we the masses? afraid of the sinister, the disease, the wars? afraid for our young and old, for the talented and lame? for our lives and legacy? what are we, if not forever doomed to be helplessly flawed and hopelessly human?

the way she sees it, we have always been, and always be, both sides. because to her, they aren’t mutually exclusive, but rather each reflections of the other. both never wrong, but never quite right either. convoluted and confusing, mundane yet a tale as old as time.

mxtx writes her beautiful loves stories seamlessly. but she displays her talent best of all by weaving tales of hope and humanity into the threads.

[imminent-danger-came]

SWK being so flawed is like one of LMK's strongest bits. I feel like a different show would just have him be infallible or have him be like a twist villain or irredeemable or something. But he's neither of those, he's just incredibly flawed. It's also interesting that even though Mei and Pigsy are critical of him, they're still shown to care about him.

All in all, hes a more complicated character than people give him credit for :/

I 100% agree!

Honestly, if Sun Wukong wasn't flawed I'd find him a bit boring. You remove his flaws and you remove the meat of his character. Even all the way back in season 1 you get the feeling he's withholding information and concealing his past ("Show me the real Sun Wukong! The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me!"), and that only becomes more and more prevalent as the show goes on.

Wukong is first introduced as a hero, as the King who defended the world from DBK. Next he's introduced as a mentor, planning to make MK his successor (which I think is pretty debatable at this point, as I've said I personally think he just needed an excuse to train MK).

Slowly we learn SWK is pretty terrible at both of those things. He's not the hero or mentor anyone thought he would be—he's not even the mentor he thought he would be:

Macaque: “Haha, you saw a story about a hero who got handed everything, who didn’t have to work for anything, and you thought you were the other guy? The second the hero got real power, he couldn’t care less about his friends.” [ - ] "You know, I meant what I said—you really are a good kid. A good kid, with a really terrible teacher." (2x07 Shadow Play)

-

Pigsy: "Back from what? Your vacation? No- what could have been SO important you'd leave MK alone to face that- that thing! You're supposed to be his mentor!" (2x10 This is the End!)

-

Sun Wukong: "I know I can never make it up to you. Honestly I- I never thought I'd live as long as I have let alone be someone's mentor—turns out I'm not very good at it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry MK, for all of it." (3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

(he's staring sadly at a bowl of soup, never a good sign.)

s1 of Monkie Kid, as well as the Revenge of the Spider Queen special, establish a baseline. We meet Wukong as we're meant to know him—the legendary yet cheeky hero. Now that he's retired, Monkey King is training the next generation to protect the world and be the heroes in his place.

Right?

Well, just like our perception of Wukong, our perception of the role of the hero slowly degrades as well:

Lady Bone Demon: “Heroes? Please, you’re mere agents of chaos, the very thing I aspire to eradicate in this new world. No more destruction, no more disorder, I WILL HAVE PERFECTION.” (3x12 The Corrupted King)

-

Curse MK: "We’re just like Wukong. A fraud! A trickster! Destructive! Why would our legacy be any different? Actually, no no- the chaos and destruction we’ll bring upon the world will make Wukong’s past look like nothing." (4x07 Pitiful Creatures)

-

MK: "That can't be true! Monkey King's a hero he wouldn't just—" Azure Lion: "You saw it with your own eyes! His betrayal, his brutality—he took the only friends I had from me." (4x08 The Brotherhood)

-

Heroes aren't people fighting for the side of good, or even for what they think is right—they're agents of chaos. Destructive. "All doomed to play a role in tearing this world apart." Heroes are introduced as one thing, and then slowly revealed to be another.

Heroes, just like Wukong and anyone else, are flawed. They still make wrong choices. They still hurt people. Of course Wukong isn't a twist villain or irredeemable, because ultimately he IS a hero with plenty of the positive traits that come with that. But heroes are also flawed, and this is something I think is at the core of Lego Monkie Kid.

You can love someone, and that someone can do plenty of good, but that doesn't mean they're not broken, or that they aren't capable of causing suffering. This isn't something that only applies to Wukong either—pick any character and I'm sure you could apply this to them.

Now, all this to say that Wukong's two fatal flaws are his lack of communication and his self-sacrificial tendencies. Like Azure Lion says—he has a habit of keeping people at arms length, and more often than not doing that to protect them. These tendencies lead to his downfall.

So! Let's make some lists of where we see these flaws in the show.

Wukong's lack of Communication:

"Look, I'm going to come clean—um, I've been kind of watching you."

Leaving MK and lying to him during s2 (this includes lying about both going on vacation AND that LBD had returned)

Keeping his plan to stop LBD a secret during s3

"Where I got my staff!" "Got or took, right? You took it?"

Not telling the gang about the 4th ring

Other lies I'm sure have yet to be revealed (such as the truth about MK's origins, if that's the direction the plot's going)

Him and Macaque's past

Wukong's Self-sacrificial tendencies:

Leaving during s2 to find a way to stop LBD on his own

"What!? You're not going I'm going!" "Yeah so, here's the problem, you guys have this thing called mortality, so-"

Gravely injuring himself to get the samadhi fire Map

Blocking the brunt of the samadhi fire to protect MK in 3x10

Originally planning to put the Samadhi Fire in himself

Going off to fight the Lady Bone Demon alone

Protecting MK from the curse in 4x01

(and this post here that travels into theory territory)

Now, most, if not all, of these decisions lead to something bad happening. It's very in line with MK's words in 4x08:

MK: It doesn’t matter if I want to help people or not! Everything I do just- it just makes things worse!”

Wukong, even if he has a very questionable way of going about it, is truly motivated by protecting the people he cares about. However, these choices also hurt those same people. Not to reference samadhi fire Mei another time, but this is EXACTLY what she points out:

Mei: "We trusted you! All of us! How could you lead us into the fight without a real plan? Time and time again I've watched you put MK in danger leaving him to figure out EVERYTHING on his own. Don't you realize you're hurting the people who care about you the most?" (3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

But that's the point, isn't it? Even with all these flaws and after all these mistakes, Wukong still tries (he's very much like Mei in that regard):

Sun Wukong: “Point is, mistakes happen, but so long as you leave the world in better shape than you found it, then it’s all good. Right?” (4x01 Familiar Tales)

-

Sun Wukong: “We can’t change who we were yesterday or in a past life, or a hundred life times ago! We live with the choices we’ve made, for what matter is the choices we make RIGHT NOW! Only we decide who we are and what we do with the power we have.” (4x07 Pitiful Creatures)

-

This is who Wukong is. He's not a hero or a mentor, but he's someone who cares (and maybe that's what a hero is). That's the tragedy of his character, really. That's the tragedy of both him and MK. They're people doing the best with what they have, but still failing anyways.

"Nice hero speech bud, but I know better—deep in your hearts, you don't believe a word of that."

-

But people still love you anyways.

[inamindfarfaraway]

What are your thoughts on Duela Dent? Specifically her Pre-Crisis backstory—before she was retconned to not even being related to Harvey for Some Reason. I think there could be some interesting themes about generational trauma and how his own childhood severely impacted Harvey’s relationship with his own daughter.

Harvey and Gilda having a kid who becomes a superhero to try to redeem her heritage is a great concept, and like a lot of great concepts, DC dropped it down the drain. But that’s what fanon is for! There’s so much you can explore with Duela. If I were to remake her myself, I’d do away with the whole Joker’s Daughter and Harlequin identities, at least after the initial phase of her trying to get Batman’s attention by pretending to be other supervillains’ daughter; and instead have her reflect Harvey and Two-Face’s themes of duality and justice. Like, maybe her heroic identity has a Lady Justice theme with a symbol of scales, a sword for a weapon and a tied domino mask with coloured lenses to mimic a blindfold. Or maybe she defiantly avoids all things duality-related to disown her father’s evil legacy, only to later incorporate her own version of it as she accepts him as a part of her. I think that like Batman, she’d hate using guns. It doesn’t feel right to have her so associated with the Joker and similar to Harley Quinn when she isn’t even related to them, especially when they’re both very popular and present in DC already (in the Joker’s case, far more than he deserves). Let’s keep her a Dent first and foremost.

Anyway, onto the relationships! I like the idea that Harvey and Gilda wanted kids and them trying before the acid attack and turning out to have succeeded after the dad is a crime lord or in Arkham Asylum is so perfectly tragic. Maybe Harvey “Definitely Not Hanging on by a Thread” Dent wants to be a dad partly, subconsciously to prove to himself that he can be the opposite of his father, to create the ultimate proof that he isn’t doomed to fail and suffer and ruin everything he touches, that he’s capable of having a healthy, happy family and can handle his C-PTSD just fucking fine. In essence, to ‘redeem’ and stick it to his own terrible childhood and paternal heritage. The cycle of generational trauma can’t have that much power over him if he breaks it, can it? No more power than Gotham’s cycle of violence and corruption will have once he, Bats and Gordon take the streets back for the people! A nice work/personal life parallel that mirrors how Bruce doesn’t stop thinking like Batman when he takes the cowl off. But then the trial happens. And then Gilda misses her period. And now Harvey, unable to find a way out of perpetuating Gotham’s vicious cycle, is an absent father with an ever-growing criminal record who perpetuates his family’s vicious cycle as well. He passes that whole toxic mindset down to his child. He loves her so much and hates that he’s failing her! It’s just that you can’t hate yourself into becoming a better person, so the ‘Oh God, I’m just like my father’ stress on top of everything else wrong with him actually makes him spiral lower faster.

Two-Face, I believe, loves Gilda as much as Harvey does (though she doesn’t seem to love him back). I’d imagine he loves Duela too. I bet Duela is the only thing both he and Harvey can ignore the coin for. Two-Face loves in a particularly “If anything happens to her, I will kill everyone in Gotham and then myself” way. Of course, he makes things happen to her. Growing up with your dad, or his alter or whatever, committing murder and terrorism and such on the news is not fun. She could easily be bullied because of Harvey and Two-Face. So she would really resent them, especially the more immoral Two-Face, before gaining a more objective, nuanced understanding of them and struggling to reconcile how awful her daddy issues have felt her entire life with the system who caused of them being sympathetic and not beyond rehabilitation. When she becomes a superhero, does she avoid Gotham to avoid them? Does she never go on patrol while Two-Face is at large? Or does she seek the system out for catharsis or the desperate, painful need to know her father in any capacity? Does she want revenge on him and inspire him to reconsider his own vengeful ways? Do they have incredibly awkward fights? The drama writes itself, but there’s a lot of comic potential too.

Duela: Dad, for fuck’s sake, go to therapy.

Two-Face: That’s my girl! We’re so proud of you, sweetheart! I mean, the way you took out my best muscle, that was amazing.

Duela: (rolls her eyes) Therapy. Now.

Two-Face, still robbing the bank: Right, right. In a minute. And don’t stay out too late again. It’s a school night. A little bit of financial redistribution really doesn’t have to be your problem, you know. Just saying.

Henchman: I didn’t know you had a daughter, boss. Seeing you act like this is so -

Two-Face: Finish that sentence and you’ll get a closed-casket funeral.

Duela: Dad!

Two-Face: Sorry. It can be open casket.

Duela: (sighs) Put your gun down and stop stealing the public’s money, or I will start vaping to cheer myself up.

Two-Face: Alright, Jesus! I’m coming!

Does he kill innocent people, sells drugs and guns and hurt the Batfamily without losing any sleep over it? Yes. Is he absolutely horrified by the thought of his little girl being unhappy? Also yes. Will he stop doing the aforementioned activities that she’s unhappy about? …Later. After she’s done all her homework.

Everything about Gilda is underdeveloped in canon, but she’s usually depicted as unconditionally loving Harvey despite his crimes. Having a child to worry about complicates that. The Dent system are in no condition to coparent. They might even be dangerous, if not directly. Completely cutting your husband out of your life is hard and could hurt your daughter, but so could taking her to visit him in Arkham every weekend. Offering your heart is one thing, exposing your kid’s is another. The conspicuously on-theme name Duela sticks out to me. Did Harvey, newly fixated on duality, get to name her? Was that a concession Gilda gave him while they were arranging for him to have little to no involvement in her life? Does Gilda tell Duela stories about the good in Harvey and their past together? How comfortable is she discussing who he’s become? Is she willing to forgive, or perhaps rather put aside, every atrocity the system could possibly commit except deliberately hurting their daughter? What happens if somehow one of them crosses that line?

One thing I don’t need to question is that Duela is the ultimate mother’s girl. If a villain threatens Gilda to get to her, so help them. She might have no interest in law because look how well that career turned out for the last Dent who tried it, but be an avid artist, in Gilda’s field of sculpting and/or different mediums. Art can be very therapeutic, after all. And Duela undoubtedly needs therapy. (“I’ll go back to Arkham if you talk to the school counsellor tomorrow!” “I’m not killing people, Dad!” “That’s no excuse!”) You could have a fun contrast between her having an archetypical creative type’s disorganized, emotional, eccentric personality as a civilian and her serious vigilante persona being all about rationality, clarity and balance. Chaos and order in one. Her vigilante costume and equipment could even be greyscale, like an unpainted statue, while her casual clothes and art are brightly coloured.

[shakedowndreams]

If you have been a fan of Babish Culinary Universe/Binging with Babish/whatever you want to call it for any amount of time now and just heard about him supporting the TERF Wizard Blood Libel Simulator Hogwarts Legacy, and are, reasonably, displeased and disappointed, PLEASE DO NOT:

- Click on the video to do whatever (dislike, comment, etc) if you found out the news through outside sources. This just gives him more views.

- Preferably, if you've clicked on it as a frequent viewer of the channel, and didn't expect to see that as a sponsor, do not watch any more of the video. YouTube has statistics for the average start and end times of viewers, the team will definitely know somethings up if a large portion of viewers just. Stop watching a few seconds in. You can dislike if you want, of course this hardly does anything unless people have plugins on their browser or use Vanced, but if you're already there pressing the..largely useless button is fine.

- Please refrain from commenting, at least more than once. Don't reply to anyone. This boosts it. Also, for your own health, don't doom scroll the comments. Babish's page has become a safe haven for bigots and TERFs who like to reply to like every comment telling people shitty, nasty, transphobic things. It's not fun, and it will hurt. Just don't look.

It's a really shitty scenario, yes, but we should do what we can to avoid boosting it any further than it already will be simply because of the popular subject (The Full English breakfast) and the amount of bigots flooding in to "support" Babish. It's hard, but we just need to accept that we lost one.

Other channels to watch (from my own subscription list);

- Adam Ragusea (he's just released a podcast where he stands firmly against Rowling)

- JunsKitchen

- Nino's Home (this one and imamu room don't have any real talking in them, just subtitles, but they are cozy)

- You Suck at Cooking

- imamu room

- Life of Boris (channel currently suffering and inactive, but a sizable backlog of easy to make recipe videos.)

- Atomic Shrimp (he also Scambaits!)

- J Kenji Lopez Alt

- Cooking Haru (ty @eganov I knew I was forgetting someone)

- How to Drink (more closer to Babish humour, but only does bartending/drink vids)

- Tasting History with Max Miller

- delicious day (like imamu room, Nino's Home, and Cooking Haru)

- 효뎡 Dyeong (more of a vlog, but still plenty of cozy recipes and cooking!)

-more to be added

[accordingtolauren]

Is there beauty in the pain, or pain in the beauty?

It frightens me to think of how all of the pain I feel is my own

Isolated and harbored by a body at war with my conscience

Obsessed for control with a bloodthirsty grip

A Roman legacy on the brink of its collapse

Unaware of how its fear of otherworldly matters, shadowed and godly, has turned its Midas touch into a clouded curse emitted from marble fingertips

I desire to be at home within my own beauty

I plead to not stray from this womanhood, this malediction of fractured femininity that I was forced to swear an oath to upon bruised knees

Involuntarily, and with sobs scratching at my throat, unable to escape from my sewn lips

Oh, to find solace in the skin I have worn since leaving my deliverer bloodied and torn

We as children have caused such pain from before our first breath, an incomprehensible agony possessed only by our mothers

Especially for a daughter's mirrored image that brought forth suffering to their creator, worsening the hell induced from swollen hips

As if to damn their maker for their future, a future of drowning within a belligerent girlhood for eternity

Is this why my own mother shared such unkind words, such envy for my youth?

Given I stole hers and morphed it into my own, a borrowed charm?

I am a constant stain upon her timeline, a ceaseless reminder of that horrific beauty only innocence can offer

I desire the wrinkles that kiss the corner's of her eyes and the death of my blooming

As maturity washes away the great expectations of reddened cheeks, that adolescent glow

I wish for that simplicity depicted in pastel oil paintings:

Of curved nymphs, frolicking lonesome through greenery, rid of materialistic belongings and unashamed by their own enchantment, their own allure

Did they too have this collective affliction, so similar yet remaining unspoken?

A roaring conflict shared between a mother and daughter, the figures of a fleeting past and the damning future?

I am ashamed of my longing for pain only nursed by beauty, to be an object of lust, of an aching hunger

And yet to also be seen, truly actualized as more than a body; a tool for mankind and their preconceived notions of rough, tortuous love

If I am doomed to bring another daughter into this life

I pray that through the pain she brings she also bestows a certain peace within my own being

A piece of solace, for that with her arrival, my own salvation shall be born

A freedom from that vicious cycle: loathing your own womanly framework and appreciating the wonder and existence it can prosper

A new life devoid of presumptions, of needless worries for what other's may think

An actual life: A devotion to breathing in spring's fresh evening air, to a guiltless independence fostered from confident hands, to being more than someone's wife, mother, daughter

To being just another person sitting upon a front porch and watching that little girl frolic through the grass, the greenery

Flowers in her hair and mud upon her knees

Carefree and hungry for learning more than what may be expected, what has been etched in the margins of an outdated manuscript

We will happily share that stolen beauty, and I will wear my gracing age as an honor

For I shall revere her for carrying on the parts of me that are far more important than illustrious ornaments

As she may break that curse, those afflictions, and see that there might be a blessing in the pain

For it has brought forth a life of endless possibilities

-lauren a.p